#god dammit this book made me cry so much

[howlingday]

Jaune Arc Is A Creep

Cardin: Ha! You stupid nerd! (Shoves Jaune) Reading books and shit!

Jaune: Laugh while you still can! You're the stronger one now, but some day, I'm going to grow up, and I'm going to teach myself how to make chloroform and knock you all out! Then I'll drag you into my basement and chain you to the walls! The first thing you'll see when you wake up is me, standing over you as your new god!

Jaune: AND THEN I'LL MAKE YOU WORSHIP ME IN WAYS NO GOD HAS BEFORE.

Cardin: ...

Ruby: (Bandaging him) And then what happened?

Jaune: (Sniffles) They beat me up and took my books~!

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Ruby: Fuck you guys! I'm going back out there and kicking their asses!

Jaune: No, Ruby! Vengeance protocol dictates that we should lay low after an attack and conserve our resources!

Ruby: Fuck the rules! They insulted us!

Jaune: Ruby, as a guy who gets his ass kicked so much he could be a professional, listen to me. The only thing we can do for now is survive!

Ruby: Oh, so I should just cower like you, should I? LIKE A LITTLE BITCH?!

Yang: (Pops Ruby in the head) As far as I can see, you're the only one acting like a little bitch here, Ruby. Now listen to what Jaune has to say.

Jaune: Thanks for sticking up for me, Yang!

Yang: Shut the hell up, Jaune! And you, Ruby Rose, open your mouth.

Ruby: Wha- (Bread shoved in, Gagging)

Jaune: Oh! Oh... Oh, wow... That's... That's kinda hot, Yang.

Yang: Eat, Ruby. Eat and build your strength.

Ruby: (Crying)

Jaune: Keep crying, Ruby. It'll make the bread taste like tears.

----------------------------------

Pyrrha: Jaune, I know this is tough, but... Is there a higher power you worship?

Jaune: I used to worship Monty Oum.

Pyrrha: Who's Monty Oum?

Jaune: THE GOD OF DEATH.

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Goodwitch: You there! Who the fuck are you?!

Jaune: Jaune Arc, sir!

Goodwitch: Why the fuck are you here, trainee?

Jaune: To become a huntsman, sir!

Goodwitch: That's bullshit! Look at you! I bet you play with dolls!

Jaune: Well, yes, but only for roleplay revenge fantasies, sir!

Goodwitch: Shut up, Banana-Slut!

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Blake: You can do it, Weiss. Just focus on your core when using the tether.

Jaune: Yeah, it's not too hard if you concentrate.

Weiss: Even you can do this, Arc? I know I'll regret asking this, but what's your secret?

Jaune: I, uh.... I kinda have a natural advantage with this skill.

Weiss: What do you mean?

Jaune: I, uh... I used to experiment a lot with auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Weiss: ...Just take me up the tether.

----------------------------------

Jaune: Oh! I also like to read!

Blake: Oh, really?

Jaune: Yup! For example, did you know that if you electrocute someone underwater, it'll leave no burn marks?

Blake: ...

----------------------------------

Jaune: So... I gave it a lot of thought, and I decided. I'm going to serve on the front lines.

Nora: What?! Why?! Jaune, seriously, you suck at everything you do!

Jaune: I know.

Nora: With your tactical brilliance, you could easily land a spot as an officer away from the battlefield!

Jaune: I know.

Nora: So why the hell are you coming to the front lines with us?!

Jaune: ...

Jaune: I WANT TO SEE DEATH.

----------------------------------

Ren: We're finally here, Jaune. We finally made it as huntsmen. Do you have any regrets?

Jaune: No. It was either this or med school.

Ren: I... wasn't aware you wanted to be a doctor. What was going to be your specialty?

Jaune: (Wide grin) EUTHANASIA.

----------------------------------

Coco: I'm open to suggestions.

Nora: Let's give all of our weapons to Ruby and have her use them to build a giant rifle-toting, sword-swinging mecha.

Coco: What is this, a fucking anime? No!

Blake: We could always give up and run away.

Coco: No!

Ruby: Let's play Arrowfell!

Coco: NO, GOD DAMMIT! NO! Does anyone have any good ideas?!

Ren: Jaune has one.

Coco: ...Dear god. Alright. How bad is it?

Jaune: This is an old revenge fantasy I used to reenact with dolls.

Yatsuhashi: Holy shit, this guy is fucked.

Jaune: In my most elaborate schemes, I'd pretend the dolls could see me before stabbing their eyes out and burning them alive.

Fox: ...Jaune, has anyone ever told you that you have an unhealthy obsession with ocular trauma?

Jaune: It's like closing the windows to the souls!

Cardin: You know, if we shoot out the Grimm eyes, we could finish them off without losing anyone.

Pyrrha: Jaune, you are the creepiest fucking guy I've ever met, but hey, that's not a bad plan.

----------------------------------

Nora: Jaune, can I ask you something?

Jaune: Sure!

Nora: This is going to sound stupid, but... Let's say I, hypothetically, have romantic feelings for a fake brother-

Jaune: You mean Ren?

Nora: Yeah, whatever. But let's say I acted on those feelings. Would it... Would it be wrong?

Jaune: Nora, why are you asking me about socially moral protocol?

Nora: Because you're the only one I can trust to not tell anyone. And even if you did, everyone would just assume you're being a creep again and I could deny everything.

Jaune: Wow, Nora. That's cold, dark, and manipulative genius.

Nora: I'm sorry, I just really need to know.

Jaune: I've never seen you in this light before.

Nora: Is it wrong?

Jaune: Hey, can I have a lock of your hair?

Nora: Answer my question, Jaune!

Jaune: Alright, alright! Look, the way I see it, I don't see anything wrong with your feelings, Nora. He wasn't really your family anyways, so even if you did incest-bang, it would've been fine.

Nora: It's not incest!

Jaune: I know, I know! I just prefer to think of it that way!

Nora: ...

Jaune: Bitch, don't even give me that look. You already KNEW what you were getting into asking me for advice!

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Marrow: General, wait!

Ironwood: God dammit, Wags, not now!

Marrow: General, Huntsman Ren and Pine along with Huntress Valkyrie are invaluable soldiers, and thus are completely expendable. But you should know that Huntsman Arc is said to be one of the most fucked up people on Remnant!

Jaune: (Thinking) No! They found my secret!.

Ironwood: Oh, really?

Jaune: Act normal- (Meow) NO, MISTER WHISKERS! NOT NOW!.

Ironwood: And just how fucked up are we talking?

Jaune: (Twitching hard) GET YOUR LITTLE CLAWS OUT OF MY EYES~!.

Marrow: Fucked up enough, some say, to rival even you, General.

Ironwood: ...To rival me, you say?

Ironwood: JAUNE ARC!

Jaune: MEOW!

Ironwood: Is what they say true?! Are you truly a fucked up little shit?!

Jaune: Well, I think I'm perfectly normal, but I may have a few desires and tendencies some may classify as... off?

Ironwood: ...Okay, Huntsman Arc. We're going to play a little game, and if you lose, the survival of both yourself and your friends over there, too!

Jaune: Sir, this is a horrendous abuse of authority-!

Ironwood: SILENCE!

Ironwood: Jaune Arc, I challenge you to a personal duel to the death! We shall fight with words to determine once and for all who is the most fucked up human being on the planet!

Jaune: (Huffs) Okay, this? I can do!

Jaune: I PLAY WITH HUMAN DOLLS!

Ironwood: I PLAY WITH HUMAN LIVES!

Jaune: I laugh at death!

Ironwood: I worship Salem on the weekends!

Jaune: SALEM! WORSHIPS! ME!

Ironwood: I lick tears off of orphans!

Jaune: I call arson a career!

Ironwood: I joined the military to watch people die!

Jaune: I celebrate living failure!

Ironwood: I submit to certain death!

Jaune: I harass the elderly!

Ironwood: I dip my soldiers with disease!

Jaune: I throw rocks at the homeless!

Ironwood: Oh yeah? Well, you wouldn't know anything about this because you're a virgin, but casualties are my favorite form of sexual foreplay! (Jaune stunned) YES! HAHAHA! Foolish child! You thought you could match wits with the worst of us and win?! You played the cards of a petulant boy, Jaune Arc, and now you and your little bitch friends will die!

Jaune: (Looks to his team)

Nora: (Thinking) You can do it, Jaune!.

Ren: (Thinking) There's no one I've ever met who's creeper than you!.

Jaune: You thought you were fighting a mere moral? You thought you could probe the darkness that is my mind?!.

Jaune: FOOL! I SHALL DROWN IN THE MAELSTROM OF MY NIGHTMARES! MY TENTACLES SHALL TWIST AND CONTORT YOUR THROAT AS I THROTTLE YOU WITH VISIONS OF HERMAPHRODITIC SUCCUBI AND VIOLENT! OEDIPEDAL! RAPE FANTASIES!

Jaune: I will take your cities! I will subjugate your children! I will rape and devour your armies! But you, only you shall survive, so that you may bear testament to my will and ultimate revengeance!

Atlas: ...

Vale: ...

Vacuo: ...

Mistral: ...

Salem: ...

[eddiemunson-reader-shame]

A Freak and a Basket Case: Eddie Munson x Hispanic!Fem!Reader

Chapter 3: No One Like You

I’m back bitches. This chapter was a bastard to get out. I’ve been fucking around writing for every other scenario except the one where you two actually fucking get together. Fucking shit.

I hope you all enjoy my autistic rambling about Dune as well.

[Masterlist] - Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three (You are Here) - [Latest]

****

“You ever read Clan of the Cave Bear?” You asked.

It was such a non sequitur. You heard an obnoxious snort from next to you threaten to turn into laughter.

“No, what… what the hell is that?” Eddie was red faced. Giggling.

“Prehistoric science fiction, bro” you said. “Caveman shit.”

“Cavemen?!”

Eddie guffawed. Covering his face with his hands as his giggles threatened again.

“It’s not funny!” You whined, unable to control your laughter.

“I’m so… ha! I… I’m sorry…” Eddie insisted, taking a deep breath and exhaling through pursed lips. “I’m sorry. But you said… you said it’s about cavemen?”

“Yeah like, a girl from the Cro-Magnon people gets adopted by a group of Neanderthals and she becomes this hunter who’s all bad, right? Then she gets kicked out of her cave and the second book opens up with her in this valley where she tames a horse and a lion cub. Real girl power shit. But it’s crap.”

“Why crap?”

“Because the girl turns into this air headed romance novel heroine when she meets her perfect jock caveman boyfriend.” You said. “And the book got all torcido in the second novel. You wanna know what her boyfriend Jondalar’s biggest flaw is?”

Eddie raised an eyebrow, clearly entertained by your critique of the story.

"Lay it on me. What's the great character flaw of Jondalar, Mr. Perfect Caveman Boyfriend?"

“He’s sad because no girl on earth can handle his huge fucking wiener.”

Eddie screamed. Honest to god screamed. Screamed like a banshee and then dissolved into the worst fit of laughter you’d ever seen, laughing so hard you could have sworn you saw him trying to clench his butt cheeks so he wouldn’t laugh so hard he’d accidentally fart. He took a deep breath, trying to compose himself, but the idea of a sad dimwitted caveman crying over his trouser snake was too much.

"I swea… I…” he paused, wheezing before he finally inhaled and managed to speak, “God dammit. How the hell did that even make it into a real book?!"

“Evidently Jean M. Auel had a lot of money and a lot of free time to be traveling to sites where they dug up remains.”

You sat up straight on the leather seats of Eddie’s Gaucho, hands seeking out the tactile wonderland of the spots on the leather seats where the top grain had begun to disintegrate.

“Like… imagine though?” you said, voice lowering to a conspiratory whisper as if Jean M. Auel herself was lurking outside the windows listening in, “You spend all kinds of money to actually learn how to make stone tools, build a lean to, and then you go and fuck it all up writing about sad peepee man over here.”

Eddie laughed even harder, his shoulders shaking and his face now burning red as a tomato.

"Peepee man, oh my God... You're killing me here! And… Ha ha, yeah… all that free time and money to learn about the Stone Age, just to turn it into a cringe-fest with Jondalar and his... oh shit!"

There was a frantic scrambling to prevent disaster after Eddie’s muddy Reeboks knocked over a full ashtray, sending a few roaches flying with the blunt in a sea of ashes onto the already filthy floor of the Gaucho. He looked at you, looked at the mess, then began howling again with laughter. You burst into laughter too, a delayed reaction. The distinctly pungent, acrid odor of the aftermath had already gone stale in the enclosed space, and it made you cough a little when you inhaled.

When you both finally looked up at one another after a moment of calm, you noticed Eddie was staring directly at you, smiling widely.

“Damn… you're a bundle of laughs when you're stoned, aren't you? I’ve never met a dork like you who was so captivated by prehistoric wiener.”

“Stop it…” you threatened, shoulders shaking with barely contained laughter, “Don’t make me laugh… I… I’m gonna pee…!”

He was about five seconds away from laughter himself. Biting his lower lip to stop the sound.

“Oh? You want me to stop? Because believe it or not, I’ve got a whole arsenal of stupid jokes I can whip out to see how bad you really need to pee…”

A loud yelp erupted from his throat, followed by laughter when you began swatting him with your Carhartt jacket. The fabric made a snapping sound as it connected with his skin, and the both of you looked like jocks having a towel fight in a locker room when he began hitting you with his denim vest.

Before the van, before the two of you shared the reefer, Eddie had still been holding you by the waist back at school, the two of you hellbent on basking in the presence of one another. Then the bell rang to dismiss the first period, and you had honest to god pouted.

“Don’t make that face.” Eddie had grinned. “Who says we’re going to second period?”

“Huh?!”

“You really think I’m going to let you go to class? Away from me? Nah, we’ve got better things to do. You’re sticking with me today, princess.”

His voice dropped down into a conspirator’s whisper, hot breath ghosting along your ear as he spoke again.

“Unless…” he teased, “You wanna… you know, be a good girl and to second period…?”

“Hell no.”

“Didn’t think so.” He grinned. “After all, we only just started getting properly acquainted. What say you to us having a little alone time in my rather… unorthodox school hang out spots?”

He gave a light squeeze. A promise of an exciting adventure.

You scowled.

“… Bro I don’t even wanna be here at school.” You murmured. “I hate it here.”

His expression had softened. Maybe it was the hint of vulnerability in your voice, or the fact that you looked wilted and drained, either way he nodded eagerly. Desperately trying to please you from the looks of things.

“Yeah, okay… no, no I feel you. This dump was never designed for us. Let’s face it, we’re too badass to be here.”

For a moment you looked around. Confused as to who Eddie was talking to. Who the hell around here was cool besides him? Certainly not you.

“New game plan: let’s ditch class and go on an adventure. Just you and me.” He said.

“Okay but like… What’s there to do here?”

“Hawkins is our oyster. There’s a lot we could do. We could go cruising to the park, the lake, maybe find an old abandoned scary house and get chased by ghosts accompanied by a psychedelic synth number. The sky’s the limit. Anywhere’s more exciting than this hell hole.”

“… there’s a lake?”

You knew lakes. Liked them even. Abiquiu was a particular favorite. With the outcropping of mountains in caramel and umber surrounding the blue water…

“Yeah. Lover’s Lake. It’s quiet there on a school day. Especially now in the morning. Perfect for an adventure. You in?” Eddie asked.

“I wanna go!”

You sound like a damn kid. So eager. It’s just… no one’s ever invited you anywhere before like this. Plenty of your classmates back home ditched. One girl in your math class took off during a pizza party for the simple fact that she didn’t bring anything, and she’d just walked out of the room like nothing while you sat there at your desk gaping after her.

“Atta girl! We’d better be sneaky about it though. I don’t feel like catching hell from dirty old Higgs for commandeering you for a joyride.” He didn’t wait for you to put out your hand. He took yours in his, tugging at you to follow.

You laced your fingers with his, holding onto his arm as the both of you weaved through throngs of students, looking back every now and again to see if anyone noticed you were fleeing Hawkins High. For the most part students and faculty alike avoided Eddie like the plague if they saw him coming, and a stage five clinger like you wasn’t even a blip on their radar. Once you were both outside, the humid summer air punched you both in the face. By the time Eddie led you over to his van, parked all the way in the far corner of the lot, you were sweating and dying to get in it. The van itself was a bit beat up, but it ran, and that's all that mattered in the moment really.

"Here's our chariot. Hop on in, we're gonna have the best field trip of your life." Eddie said, attempting to move to pull the door open for you.

You did not hesitate for a single minute. Immediately once you approached his vehicle you tried the door handle. Just gave it a yank without even making sure the door was unlocked (it was) and hopped into the passenger’s side. He didn’t hesitate either, he just laughed loudly at you, making the engine sputter to life and peeling out of the lot the second he found the opportunity.

"Most girls I know would never just hop into a stranger's van like that. You're either fearless, oblivious, or just crazy," he laughed, rolling down the driver’s side window. “Did McGruff teach you nothing?”

“At this point I wouldn’t even care if you were Baron Harkonnen himself.” You said, buckling in. “I’d still go with you.”

"Well, princess, I promise you I'm nothing as sinister as Baron Harkonnen. Just a humble D&D dork with a bit of a wild side. Although, I do sometimes dabble in the melange trade." He winked at you as he turned the van out onto the road.

“Hold the phone… you… you actually know who the Baron is??” You must have looked incredulous.

No one had ever been familiar with your references to Dune, and here was Eddie just casually dropping lines about the Siridar-Baron and spice melange…

"Of course. Who doesn't know who Baron Vladimir Harkonnen is?" he replied casually, one hand steady on the steering wheel while the other fumbled for a cigarette in the pocket of his denim battle vest.

He must have done it a thousand times, you’d thought. Watching wide eyed as he lit his cigarette with one hand using a dented Zippo lighter.

"Dune's pretty much one of the major foundations for every science fiction world out there. It’s got everything. Space, politics, giant sandworms... What's not to love about it?"

“Yeah but…” You protested, unsure how to voice what you were thinking.

"But what? You seem surprised I know of Dune's existence," he said.

“I kind of am.” Alex admitted. “I never met no one who could keep up with my weirding ways…”

You had been buried deep in the desert sands of Arrakis ever since second grade, when your father had been tasked with reading you a bedtime story. That time you were so sick with pneumonia, the doctor told your parents that you had to miss more than seven days of school. You were inconsolable. You loved your second grade teacher Mrs. Viola so much, and you wanted to play with your best friend Jessica. Instead your parents kept you home and force fed you this disgusting bubblegum pink antibiotic that made you gag. Dad was home from a job luckily, it would be another month before he started hauling again. So instead of dealing with just your mom and brother, Dad was home and he’d decided to read to you from one of his old paperbacks he’d picked up at Waldenbooks while hauling in Dallas a few years prior.

The way Dad described the setting was magical. You loved the gentle intonations of his voice as he spoke aloud the dialogue of the Kwisatz Haderac: Paul Usul Muad’Dib Atreides, and the fearless women of the Bene Gesserit space witches had captivated you body and soul. Arrakis was your second home. Your escape from the world that did not understand you. You longed to learn to ride through burning sand dunes atop Shai-Hulud, to hold the Gom Jabbar with Alia Atreides as she killed the evil Baron Harkonnen, to drink the water of life with Lady Jessica and become the next Reverend Mother, the harbinger of an abomination. You even wanted to join Stilgar and Chani, feeling like a Fremen child yourself as you had been born and raised in the desert just as they were…

Four novels and eleven years later, on all levels except physical, you were still very much buried under the spice tinged sands of Dune, a blue tint evident in your eyes…

"I've read the first book and seen the David Lynch movie, I went with one of my friends." He smiled, glancing over at you briefly before returning to the road, taking a long pull on his cigarette before exhaling. “You’re not the only person in Hawkins who's been tainted by the Weirding Way. So I’ll be privy to any little Bene Gesserit mind tricks you try on me, princess.”

"You know, you're really different from anyone I've ever met before. I mean that in a good way."

It took you a second to remember that you were in Hawkins, Indiana, not on a desert planet or even a desert state. Instead you were laying back on a leather bench seat in the back of a green 1979 GMC Gaucho, smoking pot with a guy that looked exactly like Jason Newsted.

“I’m different?”

You seemed a little shocked at this. Almost offended. What? Was it not normal to get philosophical about prehistoric caveman fiction?

“That’s… that’s kinda cliche, don’t you think…?” You mumbled.

Eddie shrugged, his smirk turning into a lighthearted grin.

"Maybe it is cliche, but I meant it. You're not afraid to speak your mind, princess, even if it's about some fictional dude's wiener."

You couldn’t help the giggle that came out, covering your face.

“… I guess so…” You admitted bashfully. “I guess I just didn’t realize how many girls don’t talk about book characters like it’s some hot school gossip. I… I don’t really talk to a lot of girls, or really guys either… I… I don’t really have friends.”

"Hey… hey, princess."

His warm hand brushed against your bare shoulder, raising the goose flesh against your skin.

"You shouldn't say that. I'm sure there's plenty people who want to be your friend. You just... you need to find your people.”

“I guess but… I don’t know… I don’t… I don’t think there’s really anyone on earth, let alone here in Hawkins, who wants to be my friend.” You said this as if you couldn’t even imagine Eddie, for all his laughter at your antics and his cuddly nature, even wanted to be your friend.

The idea was laughable. There was no way he liked you like that. Maybe you were a fun time? Something silly to do on a Monday morning instead of school.

Eddie paused for a moment, his gaze unwavering.

"I'd be your friend." He said after a moment.

You tensed up. Gulping. Not wanting to look him in the eyes.

“Really?” You whispered.

"Yeah. You're smart, you're funny, and you've got a love for fantasy. Those are all… that’s badass, dude."

“Are you serious to me right now?”

Your voice was so small, so helpless. As if you couldn’t believe it.

Eddie's grip on your shoulder tightened gently. Red rimmed, watery brown eyes boring holes into yours.

"Yeah, really. I'm serious. I'd be honored to have a friend like you."

He gave you a soft, genuine smile with his laugh lines cutting deep, dimples creating divots in his cheeks. Even his eyes were smiling, crinkling at the corners.

You breathed a sigh of relief.

“Well that’s real cool because I really like you and-…” You immediately slapped your hand over your mouth, a squeak erupting from the throat when you realized you had just admitted the quiet part out loud.

Eddie's smirk faded into a look of surprise as he heard the words come vomiting out of your mouth.

"Princess..."

He said your name softly, his eyes searching your face and taking in the flushed expression.

"You... you really like me?"

You didn’t look at him, just kept your mouth covered as you looked down shamefully. Slowly, you nodded your head yes.

“You know, princess… I like you too.”

“You do…?”

“Yeah, I do. I like you a lot.”

“… even if I’m the weird kid you just met…?”

“Especially because you’re the weird kid I just met.” He scooted closer to you, cocking his head to the side and getting in your space.

"You think you’re the only one in this van that does weird out there shit? We’re both weird. We’re both freaks. I don't care if you are a weird girl that talks about sand worms and prehistoric cock. I like it. I like you."

He cupped your face as he said this. Your hands hesitantly reached up, palms over his as you stroked his fingers. Every little sensation from the callouses to the jewelry he wore begged to be touched, your fingers ran along the grooves and ridges of his many rings, finding comfort in the shapes and the feel of the metal.

“… really warm…”

Eddie's breath hitched as he felt your hands on his, the sensation of fingers tracing the edges of his rings sending a pleasant shiver down his spine. He let out a low, soft laugh at your comment.

"Warm, huh? My rings?"

“Yeah…” you nodded. “People… people say that rings are cold but… yours… the metal is warm…”

You looked up at Eddie, and noticed something magical with his eyes: when the morning sun hit them just right, his iris glowed a warm amber, like cognac. And you could see all the beautiful little lines on his face, the eye bags, the early signs of crows feet in the corners of his eyes when he smiled.

You couldn’t help yourself. Your eyes darted down to his rosy lips, chapped and a little dry, but plump. Kissable lips.

Did he taste like cigarettes? Weed? Maybe minty, like toothpaste?

Slowly, your hands left Eddie’s and cupped his cheeks, and you found herself pressing your lips against his. Eager to find out. At first he stiffened, totally caught off guard by your movements. It took a second or two, but at last he began to reciprocate, immediately wrapping his arms around you and pressing you further into his chest.

This didn’t feel real. You couldn’t believe you were doing this… A moment ago you two were having the time of your lives. Nearly pissing yourselves with laughter, enjoying the bantering back and forth and being real friends.

His lips were chapped. Bitten in what might have been a bout of nervous habit, but… oh so warm…

His fingers tangled in your hair, a wet lathing at your bottom lip as his tongue gently stroked across your lower lip. Eddie was pulling desperately at you too, as if trying to get you to hop onto his lap, and you eagerly scrambled onto him. You frowned when you realized he was licking at your bottom lip sloppily, rapidly, as if he was an eager Saint Bernard looking for peanut butter.

“What are you doing…?” you asked.

Eddie blinked, pulled out of his momentary stupor by your question. He quickly tried to explain himself, a hint of guilt in his voice.

"Fuck... I didn't mean to! I just... I thought... I got caught up in the moment! Oh shit… Princess, I'm sorry-..."

“No like… what are you doing with your tongue?” You asked, genuinely confused.

"It's... I’m kissing you? Y’know, like, Frenching? You stick your tongue out and... and kind of…”

What the fuck was he talking about?

It took you a hot minute. A really hot minute to figure it out, and just before Eddie made like he was going to push you off him, you stopped him.

“Like wait no, hold on… is that… is that what they’re doing on tv…?” You asked softly.

Eddie nodded awkwardly. Unsure of what to say.

"Yeah... yeah, it is. When you kiss and... then you kinda slip the tongue. It's called... making out…"

“I mean I know what making out is but like… I didn’t know that’s what was happening… inside.” You said, feeling a little stupid as you too turned red.

"Are you telling me you've never kissed someone with tongue before?"

“… I’ve never kissed anyone in my life… let alone done that tongue thing.”

“Jesus H. Christ, you’re a fucking virgin!” Eddie laughed loudly and obnoxiously, as though reveling in the revelation of your awkward secret.

Now it was your turn to huff indignantly, only staying because Eddie had put his arms around you and held you in place.

“I’m sorr… sorry!” He wheezed. “I’m sorry! No… no that’s not funny.”

“Pinche mamon!” You hissed.

He shook his head, wiping a tear from his eye as he smiled at you gently. His hands began rubbing at your bare shoulders, enjoying the sight of you in your sleeveless linen summer dress.

"Would you like to try it again...?” He asked softly, “The tongue thing?"

You curled your soft legs around his thin waist, your Chuck Taylors pressing into the armrest of the leather bench seats of the van. His body responded automatically, intimates standing to attention in a single fluid contraction of throbbing hot flesh through denim… when you felt him get hard, how could you stay mad at him?

“Yeah… teach me, how do you do the tongue thing…?” you asked.

He gently pressed his forehead to yours, faces mere inches apart.

"Well, princess, it's pretty simple."

He paused for a moment, leaning in slightly closer to your face as he spoke in a soft, low voice.

"Gimme the Gene Simmons, like this..."

He slowly stuck his tongue out, the tip brushing against your lips. You giggled, mimicking him and laughing when his long tongue flicked against yours.

"That's right, princess. Just like that..."

“Then what?” You asked. Words were a bit garbled because your tongue was still lolled out.

"Well, princess, once our tongues are out, we... we kind of…”

He paused, his eyes locked on your lips before leaning in a little closer.

"Let them... explore each other..."

“O-oh…”

Eddie smiled at your quiet, accepting response.

"Don't worry, we'll go slow. We don’t have anywhere to be." He said, eyes never quite leaving your lips.

"I'm gonna kiss you now, okay?"

“Okay…”

"Close your eyes, princess."

You obediently closed them, lips parted slightly as you felt Eddie’s warm breath caress your face. He evidently decided he would skip the gentle pecks and go for the tongue thing, so you kept your mouth a little open this time.

"Good girl.” He whispered, leaning in towards you, “You keep your mouth just like that…”

It was then you realized that not only did he taste like the Camels he smoked, but like cheap beer, chocolate, and some kind of cereal you couldn’t quite place. All a myriad and fucked up mishmash of different flavors.

And you loved every minute of it.

[chericherixo]

Could you do like a fluff fic about Mattheo bugging y/n during class? But like he's just being silly goofy and eventually y/n humours him once they're given time to work. Thank you!!

Ofc!! I love that thank you :) I kind of got carried away so I'll probably write a sequel, and I'm sorry if Mattheo isn't as edgy as he usually is but hope you like it!

Danish [fluff]

- Classmates/Acquaintances - Reader's house not mentioned --Read the Request Above!--

It was your first class of the day, and you were already feeling your lack of sleep from the night before. You trudged to your seat and set your books down on the corner of the table. The only good thing that you could see was Mattheo's absence.

You felt relived as you bent over to grab a pencil from your bag. When you sat back up though, Mattheo was sitting annoyingly close, with a stupid smirk on his face.

"Dammit! When did you get here?" You yelped, startled.

"I just sat down, were you worried about me?"

"Never." You said disgusted and turned your attention to the front of the room as the professor walked in. He started talking about transfigurations, but try as you might to focus, you couldn't help but notice Mattheo's shameless stare towards you.

You snapped your head to look at him, "Can you stop fucking staring at me? Is there something wrong?" You whispered harshly,

"Sorry." He said but didn't turn his gaze away. You scoffed and shifted in your seat uncomfortably. After a few moments, he whispered in your ear.

"What'd you have for breakfast? Because I tried those new danishes and they were- amazing." He practically moaned in your ear.

"Oh my god Mattheo- why did you do that?"

"What? They were really good." He sat back in his chair with a hurt expression on his face. You rolled your eyes as he made another comment, "So? What did you have for breakfast?"

"Um- nothing. I kind of lost track of time before class, I'll get something later." He was silent for a moment.

"I have danish left; it's all wrapped nicely and everything. Do you want it?"

"Knowing you, you probably put a love potion in it, with how much you seem to want my attention."

He scoffed, "I'm offering you the last of my stash of the most delicious pastry I've ever had the pleasure of tasting, and you still treat me like this?" He covered his mouth with his hand and pretended to cry.

"Would you shut up- we'll get in tr-"

"Miss l/n! Care to explain why you're disrupting my teaching so- loudly?"

"I'm sorry professor, it won't happen again." Your face flushed with embarrassment as Mattheo snickered to the right of you.

For the rest of the lesson, you stared directly at the front and ignored any attempt of Mattheo to distract you. After awhile, the professor gave the class time to work.

He stared down at the desk, "I don't know why I'm in this class, I mean- you're way smarter than me. I guess because my dad expects me to be the top of my class. As soon as he finds out my grade is slipping- he'll probably pull me out." Your face turned concerned at his sudden confession. "I'm sorry for getting you in trouble, it's not your fault I can't focus."

"Thanks.. it's okay. Maybe I'll try a danish tomorrow, if they're as good as you say."

"They are!" As Mattheo was about to say something, the teacher passed back the tests you had taken the week before. Yours landed on the table showing a solid A+, whereas Mattheo's was covered in red ink and marked with a D-. He cringed at the sight of his grade.

"I mean- you didn't fail?" He scoffed,

"Anything below an A is failing for my father." Then, his eyes widened, "What if tutored me?" He said suddenly,

"Would you even listen?" You said, yet not totally shutting down the idea.

"Yes, yes I would. Especially if it's you- I don't know why, but I can actually focus on what you're saying. So, please?"

"..Ok. But if your grade doesn't improve, I don't want to waste my time."

"I'll pay you- I know you're busy."

"I- ok." You agreed to Mattheo's proposal. 'Why am I agreeing to this? Maybe it's because, whether I'd like to admit it or not, he's stupidly charming.' You thought.

The bell rang and Mattheo gathered his things, "I'll see tomorrow?"

"Yea, sounds good." You smiled softly, "Library?"

"Mhm." I waved and walked out of the classroom, leaving you with a blush and a smile that you couldn't wipe of your face.

(pt 2??)

[sucker4sixx]

Raising hell

Sorry for the delay im so busy rn 💔

Pt.10

Plot: decisions made and feelings shared

Warnings: drug misuse

The next say you get pulled to a room stu and doc had booked out in the hotel to have a meeting with you and nikki. You sit down nervously as they all look at you like they are disappointed, the silence deathly apart from the clock that ticks sound oddly loud “is.. everything okay?” You ask nervously “you ruined my set.” Doc, nikkis manager says with a tone of frustration “you cost me thousands, we got fans complaining that our show was disappointing!” He slams his fist down on the table, you glance to nikki who sits with a smug grin “doc, im sorry.. but only to you, nikki deserved it-“ “you sound like a child!” Stu buts in, you feel attacked, glancing to nikki as if he will give you support“this is so fucking childish, do you understand? We can get a fine for this shit!” You lower your head, ashamed and embarrassed. “Who could press charges?” You ask, nikki speaking up “me.. you fucked up my equipment and sabotaged me” he shrugs “nikki..” you trail off.

“But.. i either dont press charges.. send your band home or i do press charges” he smirks, glad he has so much control over you for once. This is exactly what he wanted, he wanted to make you squirm and beg for mercy. You needed your band on this tour, its the only way you were going to make it and he knew that. You pleaded with your eyes “i think you should pack your bags” nikki shrugs “n-nikki.. nikki.. please” he shakes his head, standing up, your head darts to your manager who shrugs like he cant help you.

Desperately, you follow nikki into the hall, your eyes tearing up “nikki please.. please dont do this” you grab his hand and he turns to face you “sue me.. if you have to do anything, sue me but dont make my band suffer for what i done” he scans your face, feeling guilty.. he was going to wait untill you were about to go home to drop any charges or grudges and telling you to stay but seeing you so upset pulls his heartstrings alittle.

“God dammit” he groans, looking away, not wanting to be soft but he couldnt lie about the soft spot he had for you “nikki please” you sniffle, he turns to face you again, lifting his hand up to your cheek and wipes away your tears with a stone cold face “fine. Stop crying, ill forget about it” your eyes wide alittle in relief but you dont trust it, making sure hes not fucking with you “s-seriously?” Nikki nods, rolling his eyes “yes.. dont fuck with my stuff again.. got it?” He moves his hand off your face, wiping the tears off onto his shirt “i promise, i wont do it again” he turns to walk away “thankyou so much” you make sure to get in before he leaves, he smiles to himself but keeps walking.

Later you go to the club with mötley crüe and whitesnake, you stay with your band but the singer of whitesnake, david coverdale asks you to dance. You dance with the English man as he whispers in your ear “i over heard nikki talking” he whispers “yeah?” He nods and moves his hands to your hips, you try to squirm but you wanna hear what he has to say “yeah.. he wants you bad, he was telling tommy that he really did have feelings and to back off with the fat comments” your face goes alittle red, glancing to nikki who sits watching you and david dancing with eachother with a murderous look. “Id go talk to him before he slashes my throat” david laughs into your ear “thankyou david” you kiss his cheek and head to nikki who sits at the other end of the club.

“What?” He snaps “charming.. thought maybe youd like some..” you pull your teeshirt down to expose the baggie of coke in your bra, a smile spreading along his face as you both head to the bathroom. “So.. you and david?” Nikki asks you set out the lines “you cant just stick to one guy, you need to fuck the lot?” You roll your eyes and snort a line “no.. nikki, david was telling me that i had to come talk to you” nikki bends over and takes a line “yeah right.. he had his hands round your waist” “yeah.. he did but it meant nothing, he wanted it to look like he wasnt telling me to talk to you” you both go silent and sit on opposite sides of the small bathroom, facing eachother. “Why do i still have these feelings for you..” he narrows his eyes at you but softens his gaze alittle “i dont want to.. i wish i didnt but.. god dammit nikki you just have a pull to you” you crawl to him and his face goes red as you land in his lap.

Instead of doing the usual, winding your hips on him like your a professional dancer, you cuddle him close, taking in his disgusting yet sweet smell “out of anyone in this world you could like.. its me” he whispers, his large hands sliding up to hold your face into his neck “ive been such an arsehole to you.. do you have any self respect?” You smile softly “no.. i dont think i do”

20 minutes pass, nikki and you sitting on the disgusting bathroom floor, his muscular arms wrapped around your body as he presses gentle kisses on your head from time to time.

Two weeks later you and nikki have became just like a couple but its not official, you spend most nights in his room while he sleeps on your chest.

“Nikki..” you whisper, stroking his long black hair softly, he rubs his face further into your chest and hides, not wanting to wake up “nikki, we have a show” he shakes his head, you can feel him smiling against your skin though “i dont wanna get up” he muffles against your skin.

Hes got a certain childlike charm about him that really just catches your eye, you can feel yourself falling in love with him everyday but every time you try to tell him the depths of your feelings it never seems like the right time.

“Nikki” you follow him after his show, hes panting and smirking, unable to hear you from the noise of the crowd still cheering “nikki!” You say alittle louder and he turns round, smiling wide “sweetheart! I was looking for you!” He hugs you, getting sweat all over you “ew!” You laugh and squirm away “listen i need to have a serious talk-“ “id love to but im getting interviewed, bye!” He just walks off fast.

It was always like he knew it was coming but didnt want to face it, you didnt mind. What you had was comfy and sweet, you couldnt bear to lose it but the tour is ending in a week, your running out of words, not sure when or what to tell him.

[skaruresonic]

what were your favorite things about starline before he was ruined

Oh, God, Starline. ;A; How I miss the poor bastard.

Beyond his design, my favorite things about him included his foppishness, his showmanship, his meticulousness, his (relative) calm demeanor, his "comedic intern" angle, and his devotion to licking egg-shaped boot.

Oh, and the most prominent aspect of his character, the linchpin on which all else rests: the simpery.

I will give credit where credit is due, his simpery of Eggman coupled with his more cautious and lowkey nature (at least, compared to Eggman) offered a genuinely new and refreshing dynamic at the time. It didn't seem to come with strings attached as it usually does.

I also used to like his penchant for unintentional comedy. It seemed to be the same flavor of comedy with which they tinge some of Eggman's character.

Granted, Starline was probably always meant to be something of a buttmonkey, but later issues had him ping-pong between being Better Than Eggman(tm) and a buffoon. The constant switch made it difficult to fully invest in him in either case, because one minute we were meant to consider him a srs bsns mastermind and laugh at his failures the next. And not in the balanced way Eggman's humor generates; there were times I genuinely couldn't tell whether we were supposed to root for him or not.

And then, of course, he got crushed under rocks. Big oofed.

Starline used to be funny. Watching him rant and rave? Cry tears of joy? Make an uwu face as Rough and Tumble embarrass him in front of his idol? Funny, because it subverted his otherwise suave Bond villain image, and because you knew that eventually Eggman would crush his windpipe like a squeaky toy. Selling your soul to the devil can only end in tragedy. It filled you with a morbid sort of joy and a dark anticipation as you waited to see how bright this dumpster fire would blaze.

This was one pathetic meow-meow of a man, strange yet oddly compelling. Shame his delusions of grandeur stole away the entertaining aspects of his personality for a more boring, straight-laced character. Even bigger shame that we were supposed to pretend he never meant anything to begin with.

That's not to say Starline could never have had character development, nor that he should have remained a static character. Just as Sonic exerts a positive influence on others, show us how Eggman exerts a twisted influence. Make Starline's devotion to Eggman even unhealthier and fucked-up than it already was. Not in a "I can fix you" kind of way, but in an "I will light myself on fire to keep you warm" kind of way. To the point of self-destruction. That seemed to be the logical direction for such a character, anyway.

But nah, they had to drag us along Starline's unimpressive journey to strike out on his own. Which, like... He stole 90% of Eggman's shit anyway, so how effective was he really? And even if the whole point was that Eggman made him and he's nothing without his idol, then why did the book give him two mini-series? Has he been mentioned even once in the book since his death? Somehow, I very much doubt it.

I don't want to get into it with his creation of Surge and Kit because I'd rather pretend they don't exist, thanks. Yes, I'm aware Starline was originally conceived as their creator, but I think Flynn should have caught on that his character had changed. Realized that trying to cram him back into the original mold would only break him.

And you know what. Even after having suffered 30 issues where Starline was fucking insufferable with his whole "I'll surpass Eggman" schtick, I still felt sad for his passing.

To make matters worse, I felt foolish for my emotional investment, because dammit, I guess I was hoping his story would have culminated in something more substantial than "his favorite flowers are forget-me-nots (snicker)."

Now that I've learned that IDW can drop even their most popular characters in a heartbeat, I'm never making the mistake of even accidentally becoming invested in them again. They're not going to bother developing them or even give them a proper sendoff, so why should I continue reading?

Fs in the chat for my boy. They did him so dirty.

[mayakrish08]

Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Series

Alright fellas, buckle up for the rant. I can’t believe it’s week 4 already and that we are 5 episodes in. I’m gonna start with the current episode. The story is slowly picking up pace, and BOY I loved this episode. The fact that this episode has the FIRST HUG and the FIRST SEAWEED BRAIN are good reasons for that. Another being the way Annabeth dealt with the situation, and how she admitted that Percy was better than her. It must have taken a lot. It’s been… what, a couple of days, and that guy is tilting her world from its axis. Being a self righteous daughter of Athena, and finding yourself with an impulsive guy like Percy? Ha. The most unlikeliest pair, but let’s not forget their parents, hmm? At least their kids don’t have the emotional range of a teaspoon. And I remember thinking that Percy has made Annabeth cry in a matter of few hours. ANNABETH and CRYING do no go in the same sentence that easily. I also remember thinking that Percy was sooo… Percy! “Where is our ride?” And “You think you know me, but you don’t” and ohh, the ultimate, “It’s… smelly.”

Ares was a douche, but I loved his aesthetic with the black leather jacket and the motorcycle. Felt like he jumped right outta the book.

But but, can we like talk about Grover? Ma Man SLAYED it! IS SLAYING IT actually! The way he dealt with Ares, holy gods!! RESPECT!! He was such a SMOOOOTH CRIMINAL! “Pottu vangardhu,” we say in Tamil. That’s exactly what he did with Ares - getting the information he needed from Ares, but in a way that satisfied Ares’ ego. Ah Grover is such a badass. “So, thank you for the emotional abuse and the cheeseburgers. We will take you up on the ride too.” DAAAAMMNNN DUUUDDEEEE!! Ah I feel in love with him right from the consensus song. {Muttering “Oh Golly, the road’s gettin’ bumpy}

Speaking of, that episode was really good too! I loved how Grover kept deflecting every question, how Percy kept questioning the hierarchy, and how Annabeth was constantly rolling her eyes at Percy, BUT they still didn’t give up on each other, and Grover snapped, and hey! They are finally bordering on the friend zone.

Ah, I wish current Percy and Annabeth could revisit their initial years. Or, I keep thinking, how would House of Hades be, with this cast? *Snort* Ironically, when I think about that, it feels like we are JUST five episodes in. It also makes me feel awed because… We may as well be watching these kids grow up! Like, sure, there will be PLENTY of new characters (Personally, after seeing Hephaestus, I can’t wait for Leo), but Percy and Annabeth are going to be constants, even more so than Grover! So, that means, we will be watching Leah and Walker grow, and we will have a chance of coming back to the first few episodes and coo at how small they are. Gosh, watching the cast interviews now makes me see the difference already!

There is one thing with this series: I keep forgetting the book! It feels like that, certainly! I mean, I don’t remember the Golden Throne thingy, nor did I remember the way Medusa was killed! While the scenes fit the series’ storyline, it is making me doubt my demigod-ness 😭 I also think Gabe is too… decent in this series. He is… MUCH worse in my head. Ugh.

All in all, I think they are doing a good job. At first, I was a bit skeptical, but after watching a certain review of a certain YTber I follow, my perspective changed for the better. Like, she is the perfect Demigod and Witch! Finally, someone I can totally relate to!! Check out her content!

Alright, I am gonna wrap up the rant for now. But I am planning on posting a review every Wednesday, because I NEED PEOPLE TO TALK TO ABOUT THIS DAMMIT!!

[winter-parrot]

went and saw the les mis nat tour. thought i maybe wouldn't cry so much this time, was wrong. having lots of thoughts and feelings. i'm gonna dump them here in whatever tangle they come out in because i want to document some of it while it is still Fresh.

act 1

did not expect the prologue (esp on parole) to hit me that hard. i almost cried and that was when i knew i was in for it tonight.

there were!! little brick moments esp in the prologue!!! that i really loved!!!

valjean stealing a coin from a kid. this has to be a petit gervais reference even it it came early during on parole instead of the brick-accurate what have i done

baptistine and mme. magloire were there with myriel!

fauchelevent got his leg wrecked by the cart and specifically had to be carried off, which doesn't feel like a detail i've seen often

the entire town coming out with pitchforks to see valjean arrested was A Lot.

they didn't do the parole slip rip-to-the-beat thing!! they just did one (1) at the end i miss it.

they gave?? most of the factory girls solo over to the foreman??? that was a weird choice

they made fantine's firing more personal for valjean, mainly by having her try to talk to him and be brushed aside during the factory fight. valjean also paused to look back before he walked offstage. i dislike this.

lovely ladies was so brutal. oh my god. i felt her degradation and despair in the lovely ladies descent a lot more viscerally than i usually do. and but god i wanted to punch bamatabois so bad. good work to the actor, but fuck that guy

tiny tiny nit but they kept saying monsieur mayor which was driving me nuts. pick a langaug dammit!

runaway cart continues to feel choppy bc of all the lines they cut out of it.

it's not by the face, it's not by the voice, no, it's by the lifting that you recognize a man. this will always be funny to me.

there was!! a french flag!!! flying over the courtroom scene!!! it had words on them but i couldn't see all of it. the middle looked like egalite as you'd expect, but the far right was justice?? fraternite seems like a weird one to replace with justice, so maybe the whole thing was different? I couldn't even see the left where liberte would go bc of the stage lights.

little cosette was so good. oh sweet child you desrve all the hugs.

surprisingly managed to mostly enjoy master of the house. hated the opening more than i ever have before, specifically watching the audience laugh at mme thenardier abusing cosette. i realize it's not entirely the audience's fault, the show is absolutely playing it for laughs, but the ick was high today.

i will never not find show me where you live funny

look down broke in while jvj and cosette were stil having their sweet moment. idk if it was intentional but it felt very ominous and it worked

oh god gavroche was so tiny. i've never seen a gavroche feel so viscerally young, with all the invincible courage and rashness and childness bravado. i almost cried when he first appeared just because he was so small and so young and i knew what was coming.

i did a lot of crying in not-technically-sad scenes because i knew what was coming. oh god.

gavroche seemed to have a bit of hero-worship of enjolras, a la his relationship to bahorel in the book. this did become relevant in the most painful way that i feared.

i love enjolras's red waistcoat in look down

on the topic of enjo's costuming, i make fun of him for being half naked a lot. but i realized today that all the students are fully dressed (buttoned up, waistcoat + cravat, jacket) in act 1 but end up at more-or-less enjo level of (un)dress on the barricade.

is?? state of (un)dress being used as a visual shorthand for revolutionary fervour???

i think??? enjo almost got arrested after the look down scene. i missed the actual onset but i looked back towards him to find an officer waving a truncheon menacingly in his face, so.

in my life felt very ick!! which is not what was expecting. mostly it's the staging where cosette is trapped inside the courtyard pushing out at the bars, valjean comes in, unlocks the door for himself, and then locks the two of them back in. it brought back beeblemis trauma honestly.

(obligatory???) acknowledgment that vlajean does kind of become cosette's jailor in the brick, but the musical doesn't really have the room for that kind of nuance. not when we see so little of them.

courf just?? randomly grabbed a gun at the from nowhere?? at the end of red and black???

enjolras then shouted to the streets! raising said gun right before do you hear the people sing. this isn't the baricades yet!! this is a demonstrably bad choice like one (musical) day before your planned rebellion. especially if he's already been almost arrested. boy, what are you thinking???

i miss the revolve. they had to do some weird snaky maneuvers to keep marching without walking off stage. it looked stupid honestly.

garoche & enjolras's deaths area also elevated by the revolve imho

also the barricade revolve is just cool

oh god how am i not at the end of act 1 yet.

the one day more overlapping medley at the end felt werid disjointed and i'm not sure why?

one day more also made me cry not bc the song itself is particualrly sad but i couldn't stop thinking in one day more most of you will be dead which was. heartbreaking.

okay now i'm done act 1

act 2

i have less to say about act 2 i mostly just cried a lot

the tragedy of on my own really struck me, i think bc eponine felt more defiant?? like more angry about her fate, less lovestruck.

i cried at now we pledge ourselves to hold this barricade. more anticipatory grief knowing what was coming.

enj felt like a very good leader which i always appreciate. i love him, my boy.

javert's uncovering felt so violent in a way that i'm not used to seeing on stage. they fought. several times. it was very physical and tense.

also gavroche was so fucking proud and i was so fucking proud of him too and so fucking sad.

the audience laughed at now hat i know that you love... me as well which was. weird??? is that normally a laugh spot???

a little fall of rain wrecked me, partly for eponine's death, but partly for gavroche showing up just in time to see her die. musical gave no indication of their relation but i know and i was sad.

the progression from they will see the people rise to the people too must rise to the people have not stirred. god!!! this is not new but it did strike me anew today!!

courfeyrac??? told valjean well done, sir and like banged his gun against the barricade as a gesture of respect/praise??? that was weird on so many levels. idk where that came from.

i started crying near the end of bring him home and basically did not stop for the rest of act 2. only lessened in intensity at times.

grantaire's verse in drink with me was very belligerent and enjo was not putting up with it. i'm used to seeing this as a moment for enjo to comfort/soothe r (at least in the last ~10 years of productions) but this enjo was not fucking having it. it was more hostile than comforting. gavroche ran off to comfort r after.

oh my god gavroche's death. sans revolve they obviously couldn't show him on the other side of the barricade. so we just hear some shots, and then he throws the ammo over, and then he gets to the top of the barricade -- and then he gets shot down, right into enjo's arms. he then gets passed to grantaire, who stands there holding him for the entire lead up to the final battle.

enjolras was?? the first to die??? he ran up to the top of the barricade not to shoot but to wave the red flag, and then was the first to get shot down. then the rest of the amis in the standard cross-beam of spotlights thing. and then, last of all, grantaire puts down gavroche, runs up to the peak where enjo died, and is shot.

i'm not exactly upset about grantaire getting that moment, but him getting it alone -- esp after enjolras was the first to die -- felt like a weird choice.

the oboe solo pause after the final battle continues to be my downfall

thenardier says [God's] as dead as the stiffs at my feet while standing over marius. i have yet to decide if this is an intentional staging choice as commentary on "God may look dead but he's alive, i promise" or just a coincidence

they dropped valjean's there is a life to save line, no idea why

javert was so unhinged during his suicide. he was waving a pistol around for the first half and i briefly but genuinely feared they were going to restage his suicide to be by gun. thankfully it was an unfounded fear.

the candles are still my undoing!!!! i knew exactly what was coming when they brought them out during turning and yet. and yet. the simultaneous blowing out made me bawl.

side note, ghost!grantaire and enjolras appeared flanking gavroche and my first thought was are they his parents now??

dear god please do not let them parent anybody. they're bad enough individually but as a pair??? unthinkable.

i almost laughed during valjean's confession bc all i could think was ahh yiss story time with papa. i was still crying but it did not stop me from snorting.

can we cut that weird opening to beggar at the feast. you know the one.

this one's a jew is more ick than usual given current events

tacking on i might try it too after this one's a queer does not, in fact, make it gay liberation!!! it just makes it gross!!!

you've already cut so many lines from this show, why is this bit still here

take it away and give me back the i remember eponine lines in the same damn song!!!!

i think that's all for act 2??? even if it it's itls fucking late and this post has exceeded 2k words so fuck it.

general notes

i can trace the 2012 movie influences in places, that was unexpected

splashing waves as the opening imagery of work song

were the msurm factory uniforms always that blue?

did fantine's death always have that white curtain?

fantine spitting on valjean was a hathaway thing, wasn't it?

gavroche gets to keep his this is the land that fought for liberty line! i'm torn about this bc i love those lines but also this is my school, my high society bit was good too

the harmony at the end of red and black!!!! it was like my favourite music change for the move i love that they kept it

entire master of the house scene staging felt very movie-ish, just in the ~vibes~ of it

nose boops!! valjean boops cosette like four times i'm p sure that's a movie popularization

actor / character interpretation thoughts

valjean was good! i liked him better in the first act 24601/madeleine side than on the act 2 fauchlevent side, but still good

fantine was angry and i liked that.

thenardiers were mostly good. weird that they made mme obviously lust over other people??

marius was fun! good balance of earnest lovable genuine and idiot himbo booby.

did not like cosette. this is the first time i've actively disliked a portrayal of cosette and it was a big pity. the musical does enough infantalizing of adult!cosette already, i really did not need the actress to play that up.

mixed opinions about javert. honestly i think he's a fine musical javert i just like my book javert too much. obsessed with jvj, openly defiant to madeleine, very Godly, that kind of thing. but his voice was good and his suicide was extremely unhinged in a good way.

i fucking adored enjolras. he felt older?? which is not exactly the right vibe but it came with the right vibe of authority and calm that i super super appreciated. also he sounded beautiful and his hair was a glorious mane of curls.

grantaire is a delightful garbage bastard man.

i've already talked about gavroche but god gavroche!!!

courfeyrac kept catching my eye in both good ways and bad. kind of felt like he became ami #3? (after enjo and marius, per the musical). very often on enjolras's left, the first to seize a gun, the first to praise jvj on "killing" valjean (that was weird, what was that), etc etc.

song list in playbill was not incorrect but kind of weird. notable mentions:

the entirety of prologue was just listed as prologue

both what have i done and javert's suicide were just listed as soliloquy (not even x's soliloquy)

confrontation wasn't listed at all?? i'd think it was folded into come to me, odd as that seems, except that just has fantine and valjean listed.

drink with me became drink with me to days gone by???

all the little bits and pieces of song missing was expected, but seeing none of the battles listed at all felt a little weird. not even the final battle.

the spotlights on stage were mostly yellow/warm white, except for when someone died/was near death, where they got bright cold white spotlights. except javert -- he got the cold white spotlight in stars, too, and in one day more.

was this an intentional choice to make a statement about javert??

was this just an accidental coincidence??

did other non-dying people get the white spotlight too and i just didn't notice??

[boobersandstuff]

Currently listening to the dear wormwood by the oh hellos for the first time so here's my thoughts on all the songs:

Prelude: good, very much the type of music I like.

Bitter water: WTF!? THIS IS SO GOOD WHAY THE HELL!? WHY DOBT MORE PPL TALK ABT THIS!? do they have vinyls? THIS IS MAKING EXSITED FOR THE REST OF THE ALBUM WTH!?

There beneath: why is this so beautiful!? It's making Wang to cry for some reason ah! ITS SO PRETTY AND IM CRYING WTH!?

In the blue hours of moring: pretty, this entire album thus far is giving fantasy world, comfy fantasy.

Exeunt: if I had a sing for my gender (when I'm masc), it'd this album but definitely this song! Also I read "lovely" in this as "lovejoy" lmao. OH HELL YAH! THIS IS AMAZZING! I LOVE THE KINDA ROCK TO IT AHHHHH (or is it punk? Heh *shrugs*) FUCK YEAH!!!

Caesar: it's so relaxing, like a lullaby. This entire album has been a 10/10 so far HOW HAS NO ONE TOLD ME HOW GOOD THIS IS HELLO!? WHO TF WAS KEEPING THIS FROM ME!? It feels like a song in a part of musical abt either, moments before disaster, or a song abt the last few moments waiting for disaster. It's so nice wth!? It's like the prettiest poetry in song format & fantasy I LOVE IT RAHHHHHHHH.

This will end: ngl this is entire album is giving epic: that new Greek mythology musical. AND I LOVE ALL OF THOSE SONGS SO THATS A COMPLIMENT! also this is so cute & pretty ah! I'm abt to cry again. There is goes. WAHHHHHHHH. :0 WOW THAT ENDING BIT IS JUST....IM STAR STRUCK!!! THATS THE BEST PIESE OF MUSIC IVE EVER HEARD!!! THIS IS SO GOOD WTF!? I NEED A VINYL NOW!

Pale white house: its so pretty! Also I looked it up and just as I thought I can't one T T. God dammit! It's so good and for what!? For what reason did they have to do this!?

Where is your rider: I need all of these to get tiktok famous so everyone who doesn't listen to this album to listen to it cuz ITS SO GOOD AHHHHHH. It's so pretty ah!

Soldier, poet, king: we all know it now, and yeah it's good. But I'm kinda sick of it lmao. Very good, just very sick and tired of it so, SKIP!

Dear wormwood: now let's see the song of the same name of the album. ......wtf, this is so good, like the best song here-HOW!? HOW DID IT GET BETTER!? I LOVE THIS SONG-I LOVE THIS ALBUM!!! THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SONG IN THE ENTIRE ALBUM!!! THE CHOIR WTF!!! SHMSNDJSMNSJDN THIS IS AMAZZING LIKE THIS IS MY FAVOURITE ALBUM OF ALL TIME WTF!?!??!?!?! AHHHHHHHHH. This is my anthem for getting better mentally, THIS IS MY 2023 ANTHEM! YEAH IK KNOW WHO I AM NOW!!!

Danse Macbre: very Dancey, like those tavern Dances or at balls. I might make an entire book fantasy abt this album lmao. This album was made in lab to what songs I think are my favourite and are 10/10-ers. Lol

Thus always to tyrants: this is so good I need to watch animatics/animations to these songs omg! Ah! SUCH A GOOD ENDING SONG!!! I have nothing else to add other than what I've already said, it's so good! Ahhh!

What do I rate this album? 10/10, it's amazing, there's not one bad song! Like even lvjy (my fav band has like 3 songs I skip, mostly cuz I got sick of hearing them lol.) It's so good. 10/10 GO LISTEN IF YOU HAVNT ALR YOU WONT BE DISAPPOINTED!!!

[gardenofshadcws]

Dracula Daily Day 86

IT’S THE BIG ONE 

Dr. Seward’s Diary

Renfield nooooo I’m so upset

Dracula how dare you beat my boy like this I’m in PAIN

AND NOW YOU GO AND BLAME HIM FOR THIS?  LIKE HE DID IT TO HIMSELF???

Dr. Abe this is so not an accident what are you talking about

Arthur and Quincey heard the plot needed them and who are they to refuse?

Can we save his life because he’s a human and a good bean and not just because he has information?  Like please?

HE’S ALIVE!!!�� 

“What’s wrong with my face?” I’m DISTRAUGHT

DON’T DIE

“I must go back to death - or worse” DRACULA HOW COULD YOU

The way Renfield capitalizes He like Dracula is a god, or on a level with God is so telling without saying much at all

Ugh this poor thing has been a victim this entire time.  And Jack just looks at him like a science experiment.

“I don’t care for the pale people” AAAHH MINA

Everything hurts and I’m dying

He tried to SAVE her BABY RENFIELD AAGHGH.

Oh cool we’ve gotten what we wanted so we’re just ditching im I guess.

Quincey I love you but I think saving her from becoming a vampire is more important than silly Victorian propriety

DRACULA GET AWAY FROM HERRRR.

It’s truly disgusting how many adaptations saw this scene with Dracula drinking from Mina and decided “romantic?  Sexy?  Soulmates???”

BUT THE SUITOR SQUAD GOT THIS FUCK OUTTA HERE

Noooo Mina ;~;

This part is destroying me

Jonathan seeing his wife distress and immediately going “I’m going to kill the fucker” is glorious

Mina and Jonathan are relationship goals

“I much touch him or kiss him no more”  “aww hell no” Jonathan is the most ride or die ever.  Given the choice between Mina or God and he chooses Mina I LOVE this sweet boy

NOOO THE RECORDS.  But it’s okay, Mina’s the best and saved everything

RENFIEEEEELDDDDD 

PTERODACTYL SCREECH

BABYYYY NOOOOO

Quincey and his bats, man.

I’m so upset

The story of Dracula slipping in to attack Mina is just as horrifying the second time around

“A little refreshment” ewww

“What have I done to deserve such a fate” NOTHING MINA YOU’RE PERFECT AND WE’RE PRIVILEGED TO HAVE YOU HERE

And there goes Jonathan’s hair

Jonathan Harker’s Journal

Jonathan stressing makes me stressed

God’s not helping you, your friends are helping you

RENFIEEEEEELLLLLLLD

He tried to save Mina and this is what he gets 

This attendant sucks at his job and now my SWEET BOY IS DEAD.

Nothing should have been kept from Mina in the first place dammit

“I shall die!” MINAAAA.

Van Helsing’s right for once, that’s not actually going to help anything. 

Yes, lockpicking, much better than breaking in.

At least Mina doesn’t have fangs yet, that’s a good sign

Way to go Van Helsing, you made Mina cry again.

And then you burned her head.  You’re handling this extremely poorly, man.

Poor Mina :(  Girl just wants to live her life

“She shall not go into that unknown and terrible land alone” AWWWW.  JONATHAN YOU ARE THE SWEETEST.

This is so romantic it’s melting my black dead heart

“I have written this in the train” Just like the beginning of the book, that’s a beautiful callback.

“The place smells so vilely” perhaps that’s because you just lit a cigar, Art (yes, I know it’s Vamp Stink)

Dr. Seward’s Diary

It always seems like a long wait when we’re waiting for Arthur and Quincey.

Jonathan babyyyy

Yeah, Jack, you’ve got nothing on Jonathan I’m sorry

So, if Dracula was a scholar, are we… condemning the seeking of knowledge over faith?  Is that what’s happening here?

The zoophagous patient had a NAME, dammit

Jonathan is out for BLOOD.  And not in the vampire way

There’s Dracula, it’s battle time!

Jonathan where the HELL did you get a kukri

Damn.  SO close.

All this and Mina’s still trying to put on a brave face

Can we stop talking about Mina’s purity because that’s giving off some really icky Madonna-whore stuff

These two love each other so freaking much

Stoker’s letting his boys cry again you love to see it

I am also in tears by the way if you even care

Jonathan Harker’s Journal

I too thought today would never end

“My poor wronged darling” awww

It’s okay, guys, Quincey’s here to protect you :’) 

[bringerofdeathandtheapocolypse]

Spoilers for 100 years quest so uh. You've been warned.

Ok so I was looking for those old character refs that Mashima used to put in chapters that had name, age, magic, likes and dislikes and I couldn't find Rogue's for some reason so I ended up on TVTropes and started looking through the characters and ended up on Laxus.

So now I'm hysterical because what the actual fuck.

I was aware that he removed his lacrima as I'd seen the picture floating around but first of all, the guy full on ripped it out himself.

Obviously it meant he wouldn't die since his opponent was trying to kill him if he didn't do that but that had to hurt like a bitch.

But also he ate Alexion's soul to get his slaying abilities back.

So he isn't second gen any more because he doesn't have a lacrima anymore and he isn't 1st or 3rd since he wasn't trained by Alexion. He isn't fourth since they weren't human, they were machines given dragon slayer properties(Dragon cry) and he isn't 5th because he didn't physically eat the flesh of a dragon, just the soul.

So does that make Laxus a new 6th generation of dragon slayer. And is Alexion's soul actually dead or will this be like Wendy with Irene and Laxus is just gonna have this dragon talking to him randomly.

Also also, is Laxus now the lightning dragon king like how Natsu was given the mantel by Igneel or does Kiren hold that title as he was the one to kill Alexion.

Its implied that dragon titles are passed on to the ones that kill them as Acnologia killed to get his title and then said that Natsu would be the next king or he'd make a good king or something that I don't remember exactly. So does it apply to dragon eaters as well since they are dragon slayers.

I am still hopeful that Cobra, Sting and Rogue will show up (Probably unlikely as they have no reason to be in another country at this point in time since he isn't in Fairy tail and that's the reason Gajeel and Laxus were able to pop in and get so much attention (I mean backstory for Laxus' lacrima and him becoming a new generation and Gajeel fighting God Serena (even if it isn't him) is pretty good all things considered) but I really want them to appear because they also have lacrima so it would be cool to get maybe one more case of a dragon eater causing a lacrima to exist or even just get more info on the dragons that their lacrimas came from (because it is also now canon that the souls do cry out for their hearts so there is at least 3 other dragon souls out their trying to find their hearts if they haven't faded by then) and I just really want more screen time for them. Firstly I love Rogue's new outfit and want to see more, second I want to make fun of Sting's because his fashion sense is awful, third I am desperate for more canon Cobra content because he is used so little and it disheartens me (Cobra has had the oracion seiz and Kotsh arcs to be a villian, the dragon king festival to be a reluctant ally(non-perma death included), the tartarous arc to change his tune(even if Jellal giving them no choice but to listen to him or they go back to prison makes me feel uncomfortable. Just let them be free at last dammit), the Alveraz arc (which we don't get to see him fight August just that sorcier lost) and half of the Rhodonite spin off manga (Which some if not a majority of people haven't even read the three spin offs and if you haven't then you should because they are amazing and hilarious and I wish they made one for Cobra because the potential that was their because all three of the books had two stories so one could focus on his time in the seiz or a short section about his reflection in prison or something and the other his time in crime Sorciere as they all have at least 1 story set during Fairy tail's disbandment) so if we got more Cobra screentime I would cry and sing to the skies.

Besides, if we don't get anything about their lacrimas then no one is stopping me from doing it myself. (I'm still debating if I want to do a sequel when I'm finished 'the bringer of death and the apocolypse' that follows 100 year quest although I have thought about it and have a few ideas because I have in fact planned how this story ends roughly, just a couple things that may change between then and now) After all, every dragon slayer is prominent in this au........ eventually

Well I went on a real long tangent here. Oops. I wasn't joking when I said I have no one to talk to about this because the like 3 friends I have either aren't interested in the series or don't want to put in so much time to watch over 300 episodes.

[sebsxphia]

hey seb! waistband anon is back!

sorry it took so long to come back with phoenix, i really wanted to make sure i captured her character accurately

like i said before i 100% believe she uses your skin to warm up her hands when she's cold

and you're just so warm, she can't help it sometimes

(i also want to preface, while i think she can definitely dominate anyone, i do there are times that she wants to be able to drop phoenix of at the door and just be natasha, and maybe be pampered and taken care of- and on the occasion be fucked absolutely stupid because she runs a hardcore adrenaline filled life and sometimes you just need to forget about it)

anywho back to the HC-

example:

you in bed, reading a book or scrolling on your phone, and she curls right up against you. she slides her hands under your shirt and you jerk just a little at the temperature change.

"sometimes i forget that you're an actual icecube, baby" she laughs and pulls you to her, "and you're my personal heater, sweetheart" her hand slips under your waistband and grips your hip. you smile and kiss her head as her leg wraps around yours. she smiles and kisses your collarbone. you adjust your book/phone into one hand and slide your hand into her waistband as well.

or

she situates herself behind you and slides both of her hands into your waist band and gently scratches your thighs and asks you to read to her.

here come the thots ;)

you and nat are situated on the bench at the foot of you shared bed. you're in nothing but tight, light grey sweatpants and she's wearing her khaki uniform (or really wearing whatever) with her hand cupping your center under your waistband.

she runs her chilled fingers over your soaked folds and you head falls back onto her shoulder. "nuh-uh princess- keep your eyes on the mirror"

when you look back you can see fingers outline under the fabric as they rub your clit and circle down to your entrance.

the whimper that escapes your mouth makes her smile into your neck, "i know, baby, it's a pretty sight isn't it"

and then when it's your turn to make her fell good-

holy shit-

you're both fully clothed, or in your pajamas, whatever you prefer. either on the couch or in the bed.

your hand is cupping her center, fingers lightly grazing her- giving her feather light touches over the fabric of her underwear but under her waistband

she's arching into your hand, whimpering in your ear, "please-" "i'll give you what you need natty, just relax. i promise you're gonna forget all about the shitty guy at the bar when i'm done with you."

( i know with hangman and rooster i brought up comfort after a near death situation but i feel phoenix has a different way of comforting herself, like maybe stealing your hoodies or taking a shower or bubble bath with you)

(i hope this was as accurate as the others <3 hope you have great day seb!)

my beloved anon holy shit!!!!!!!! please do not apologise one bit, because all i can say is how accurate this is and how incredibly horny it made me, mixed with a dash of soft angst 🥹🥹🥹

i completely agree with natasha wanting to leave phoenix at the door and be taken care of. i love dom phoenix as much as the next guy, but god dammit do my knees buckle when i read about you taking care of natasha. i know she would make the prettiest sounds and i just want to tease her and fuck her dumb SO badly.

and i agree it’s the same with rooster and hangman, she wants to be close to you and slide her hand into your waistband because it’s so warm. that’s what she says, but really it’s a massive comfort to her. also screaming, crying and thrashing about at the mirror thots omg.

thank you so much for these my beloved anon!! i’m incredibly grateful for the detail you go into for these 🥹💌

[charbunnies]

HBD GRIMSLEYYYYYY 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 u can use this ask to talk about ur blorbo of ur choosing if u want. I HOPE TODAYS GOOD TO U

TY VIXEN MY BELOVED!!! <3 i hope it's good to me too, we're watching advent children w/ my mom and that will be. An Experience

Anyway! i believe i shall talk about my current on-the-mind meowmeow, mr. vincent fowler who is living in my mind rent free because he's my focus for miqomarch. here he is!

i originally made him because i wanted a character in xiv to sexualize (sorry) because my main wol is a BABY teenager. and i wanted to play with mods. but then i got attached and now vincent makes me feel shrimp emotions

he's got like. four different verses but the main one i focus on is wol!vincent because Ough. he's a sharlayan moonkeeper miqo who had a special interest in primals as a kid and got scolded, put down and bullied for it for his entire childhood and he has a bit of a complex about it. when the sharlayan exodus happened (when vincent was 12), he broke into the great gubal library and stole a bunch of books on primals and ran off into dravania/coerthas in the middle of winter :^)

he got picked up by a young estinien and accidentally weaseled his way into becoming estinien's adopted younger brother. estinien renamed him to keep him from standing out as much around ishgardians so he just white-ified his name (vincent was originally named vincen'to fawhra. and estinien went "hhmmm how about vincent fowler". really creative estinien thanks). and then vincent joined the dragoons and, at 17, accidentally became the second azure dragoon. which he did not want! he became a dragoon as a cover for studying summoning/primals and then he got too good at it. so he wasn't exactly thrilled and got shoved into a position of power WHICH LED TO:

he got sent off to fight garuda alone when the ixal summoned her because the ishgardians wanted him dead, and because vincent's azem was the one who created her and risked a lot to save her from being destroyed as a creation, she recognized his soul and let him kill her to spare him. and because of the way smn works (yknow, have to have killed the primal to summon it!) suddenly vincent found himself able to just. summon her. he can't summon any of the other primals it's just her. they're best friends but they act like they hate each other and they make me cry so so much (it's the red-string-of-fate i-can't-let-you-go-even-though-i-can't-remember-why AGONY)

also he was childhood friends with g'raha and y'shtola but obviously lost contact when he ran away. g'raha had a kid crush on him that he never really got rid of and long story short, they end up together after shb but not without like, a LOT of agony

guys who make me really, really insane. vinraha my friends my meowmeows. i don't want to talk too much about their stuff because that's like. this reply is getting so fucking long but just know that they make me feel like screaming

but yeah. he's a weird drg/smn/drk combo where a lot of his attacks/abilities utilize garuda in some way. i call him a windcaller :)

UHHHH other than that, he's pretty and a little bit of a whore and extremely loyal to a fault and he puts on a scary face until you talk to him for like 5 minutes and realize he's actually very sweet. he gives good hugs and has wide shoulders and he's beefy and i want to kiss him on the face.

OH AND LAST THING: he and sidurgu had/have a weird relationship where they had a one night stand one time and sid thinks about it all the time and vincent never thinks about it at all. sid is still hopelessly in love with him despite the fact that it's been years. rielle likes vincent more than sid and also bullies sid about still being Like That with vincent. they permanently have weird sexual tension and also vaguely don't get along and it is so fucking funny to me. sid sees vincent showing raha around ishgard and vincent's making cat kissy eyes at raha and sid's like Oh. God Dammit. i think it's funny when grown ass men are weird like this.

anyway that is all <3 hope you enjoyed my ted talk and ty again for letting me talk about my blorbo

[colbyheartland]

Chapter Twenty Eight:

Catacombs!

Yes continue to be brave Vlad!

Oh Swithin. I’m sure that man has seen way too much of Vlad.

He painted the ceiling! Also “he’d get around to it one day” is very relatable and made me take a peek at my own unfinished projects corner.

Ah yes coffins and skulls Nathan, the most homey décor a vampire could want. “Well we can get Rupert out of the closet” VLAD

Late night telescoping can be so romantic actually.

Cute. Cute and very sweet. THE JACKET? THE MOST CLASSIC OF ROMANTIC MOVES? And it’s a classic because it works dammit.

I don’t think that move was quite as unthinking as you believe Vlad. Nathan’s gonna give this vampire a heart-attack which shouldn’t be possible yet here we are. Yes very casual and platonic Vlad. I’m an outsider looking in but this situation would also have me overthinking with my brain melting out of my ears. I know this because it has happened before, being perpetually cold has it’s perks and I wouldn’t know if someone was into me unless they told me directly to my face.

Nathan is incredibly smooth, it’s enviable.

“Only since the first moment I met you” OH YEAH?

It’s happening it’s happening!

Oh. And Nathan wants to talk before they go further of course, very very sweet of him to do and Vlad :( “Too much” I’m coming for you Elizabeth and everyone else who told him that.

A talk about boundaries, that Vlad has never had before, if I could stop being hurt in this story that would be wonderful actually. Nathan thank you, now once this conversation is over take Vlad’s face in your hands and tell him how wonderful he is please, please for me and readers everywhere. It was finally happening and now my heart is breaking whyyyy

Cool cool cool, emotions? In my supernatural world ending vampire romance? More likely than you think. Crying in the club when I was ready for sweetness and romance. And I am getting those things but not without all the healing and love that comes with them agh.

Elizabeth again, biting biting biting and violence and more biting.

Sweetheart he says, sweetheart!

Oh my Nathan. Also wanting to hide but still letting Nathan read his lips. A sweetheart indeed. A necessary conversation but admittedly a slightly awkward one.

Nathan really sees him right down to the bones huh?

Lewd laundry list

Ohhhhhhhhhhhkay

I am not going to go into a lot of detail other for the next few pages for all our sakes but it’s HAPPENING.

Flophouse dandy hehe

The good boy gets us all.

Mortifying but good is an apt description.

Well written uhhhh very well written good lord

Nathan gods above man.

Baby! For every pet name Nathan calls Vlad another year is added to my life.

I need a fan, someone get me a fan and a bottle of cold water!

Because I’m a degenerate this is written like most sex scenes but most GOOD sex scenes. It’s very tender and very sexy.

“Make me” Sound the alarms everyone I’m packing up my things and going into hibernation after I finish this book until the next one comes out because HOO BOY

Vlad no no no this one will stick, stars above this one will stick, and eventually another one will too.

Anyway that chapter was, great, lets go with a nice PG “great” to make a massive understatement.

[firetheturtletits]

Alrighty folks, so for this post I shall post the blurb first and the review second. If you would not like to read the emotional blurb, feel free to shuffle down to the review of less than stellar quality below.

No, not here. This is the blurb. I'm going to be honest; I made this account because my friend wanted to send me memes and I lost the password to my old one. Life has been kind of hellish lately, and I'm not doing well with this particular round of grief. I haven't been able to make myself read lately, or even get out of bed. Today however, I saw a post by the author of this book on Instagram and suddenly I was allowed to read but only this book (which is kicking my ass given that almost 50% of the books I own are TBR). But I read the book and once again felt that feeling of finishing a good book and just thinking, gods fucking dammit I wish I could experience this book for the first time again. Then again, I love that feeling of security of knowing there is a happy ending waiting for me when I'm at my lowest.

REVIEW TIME. Alright so to be honest I had no idea this was a Kylo/Rey fanfic the first time I read the book. In hindsight, yeah it makes sense and is so much funnier with that knowledge in mind without detracting from the characters. Common tropes seen in this book are fake-dating, teacher/student (but not in the usual way). age gap (without it being creepy), and along with all of the lovely mini tropes within. Unfortunately, whilst there was a sharing room bit there is (spoiler) no one bed bit. Cry about it. I genuinely enjoyed the pacing and lightheartedness of the novel, while still being able to incorporate important topics. It focuses on a grad student who is struggling to maintain her confidence in drive in a male dominated field (as STEM fields tend to be) while still absolutely taking ass and kicking names. Olive (the mc) is one of the most genuinely relatable and endearing character I've gotten to read a romcom through, and that's feeling I've had with all of what Ali Hazelwood has published so far. I honestly don't feel like finishing the rest of this review rn, but ik if I put it in drafts I will never post it, so feel free to ask questions I guess? Anyway. Read the book if you like romance without feeling like the mc is a total idiot outside of what it takes to get a plot rolling, and enjoy seeing a solid amount of representation in your books. Toodles for now~

[hydrate-or-diedrate]

MAAA

It's not Dave bleating like a goat though 😔

Yeah Jane you go get that mail!

OH BOY DID SHE JUST FUCKIN DIE?!

END OF ACT 6 ACT 1 SURE AFSKJDHDLD

Hello robo-Andrew

JOHN AND JADE MY BABIES AAA

Oh FUCK yeah, merit badges rock

Glub glub nak nak

"Act 6 Intermission 1" getting creative, eh Hussie?

GOD TIER GOD TIER GOD TIER

3

YEARS??

I wanna know what the storyboard for this looked like. I wanna see all the red yard and thumbtacks and an exasperated Andrew Hussie desperately trying to solve the puzzles he made for himself x)

YEAH PM KILL HIM! TELL HIM SERENITY!

Jack, you harlot, she's trying to kill you, nows not the time to get all red on her when she clearly loathes your ass and also you just killed her friends for no damn reason

Baby boy Karkat is crying AGAIN

Also Sollux is 100% dead now I guess? He's laying on the floor covered in his own blood at least

AWWW DAVE LOOKS LIKE SUCH A LITTLE DOOFUS IN HIS NEW JAMMIES

Oh my gosh they're sending their note in a bucket. The trolls are going to be so embarassed

HAJDHDKJD

Let Aradia have a corpse party!

Karkat is having a panic attack :( poor baby

LMAO HE GOT KO'D BY A THE BUCKET

Oh NY God of course my laptop decides now is the time for a random update

Frustracean

WV!

Jesus how is there so much more to this story

End of act 6 intermission 1 I guess lol

Okay yeah Jane is super dead already lmaooo

JACK? WHAT?? THE GAME HASNT EVEN STARTED YET JACK FUCK OFF

WAAAAAAAAAA

ACT 6 ACT 2 I GUESS FUCK ME

No she did NOT get launched to the side of the house she was RIGHT there! Fuck you, Andrew!

BEC BUT CAT?? HI??

Fine, god cat is a reasonable way to survive that explosion 🙄

Okay I don't even know the other Strider's name yet but he's actually hilarious, fantastic book annotations

Jane you fuckass

Don't you dare "hoo hoo hoo" me, young lady

DAMMIT

pst

hey jane

step away from ur compuner

Wow these kids are going in wayyyy more prepared than all of the first 3

We got Roxy Lalonde :0 and she's a fanfic author omg

Dirk? Really pulled the short straw

Why the FUCK does he sleep with his feet towards the wall and his head at the open end of the bed? Is he a monster? A senator? A murderer? Some other variety of terrible person? The hell is wrong with this kid

FRIGGLISH

Sleepwalkin' time. I hope she busts a move

Dirk why is your dreamself covered in blood

Dirk is gay??? 👀👀👀👀👀

Or not?

Fuck it, not-exclusively-hetero until proven otherwise, at least, because I deserve it

OH MY GOD HES AT LEAST NOT STRAIGHT

FUCKING SMITTEN WITH JAKE HELL YEAH WE LOVE QUEER REp

Day 12 of reading homestuck, starting intermission 2 😔

But first, Nepeta doodle

Half of the children are dead, and now we're doing Egypt things I guess wahoo

Oho? Are we meeting Lord English? At long last?

AYO HOWD CUEBALL GET THE EXTENDO LIMBS UPGRADE?!

HONK

?? No and also I don't believe you? What?

John playing the piano 🥺

Are you serious we're actually starting Act 6 right away?

Fucker

I have a love/hate relationship with the fact that I'm starting to be able to read the Alternian text without the cheatsheet

Oho? Jade or Jade ancestor?

Jane?? Inchresting

And she's 15?! Even more inchresting

Oh my gosh it's genderbent John

Oh wait wait no, new Jade took John's place (sorta but not quite) and got named Jade, and new John took Jade's place and is named Jake? AND HES NEARLY 16?This age difference is like peanuts tbh because they're still kids but still!!

Or maybe he took Rose's place, judging by the symbol on his shirt...

Okay look this is fun and all but I wanna know if my version of my babies survived the scratch 😭

Wait, the bunny belong to Jake's *grandma*? So are these the reset version of the quartet's kids??

I'm so confused y'all

I sincerely hope this goes faster than the beginning of the story did I might actually die if it doesn't

Is this all lowercase gray text person,,, a version of Karkat? Wouldn't the trolls have not been affected by the scratch/reset since they were sitting outside the universe? Sorry, all lowercase with capital U

Woah that's some ominous white text

Okay this version of Lalonde has the exact same hair as Rose's mom and a drink this has to be their predecessors but funky

FFS JANE ITS JUST CALLED A "FLAG"

Ooookay so this is B2, and the Jade he's talking to is in B1, is what I'm hearing. And then I'm guessing that UU is in A1 just for the hell of it because that sounds right for no reason.

Hehe squirtle glasses

Well that was certainly a dream

HELLO LUSUS? HI?? HUH??

Love that Jake is apparently living in the monster version of jurassic park ahdkjdhjd

Aw sick, another murder bunny. Can never have too many of those!

Sebastian you fool

[frenchtucktommoandbooks]

Beautifully written with utterly enthralling, fully developed characters. The story of Ondro and Jamie will stay with me.