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cressidagrey · 6 months ago

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It's a Love Story - Chapter 10

Summary:

Azriel's shadows find their master a wife.

Azriel would just really like his heart not to get broken again.

And Sky...well, she's just really surprised that that far too handsome male is interested in her at all.

Warning:

Rhys Bashing (as usual), I classified this as Azriel x OC, even when it't technically Azriel x Sellyn Drake (but we kinda know nothing about Sellyn Drake other than that she writes books so Sky is kinda an OC), Cassian is kinda a good guy for once, Azriel has a horrible time, as usual... Stuttering, toxic families (For once I do not mean the IC), Self-Esteem Issues, Secret Identity, Body Image Issues, Fat Shaming, People being utterly horrible. Racism against Illyrians/Lesser Faes?

If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, please take care of your own mental health and don't read it.

“Azriel is fine,” Gwyn repeated drily, her nose buried in a book.

Her friends got to hear all about Nesta’s worry.

“You don’t know that,” Nesta said with a sigh. “I just…gods, I want to throttle Rhysand,” she seethed. For doing this to Azriel.

To Az. Who had always been kind to her. Who had always been…sweet to her. Who was sweet. Even when his exterior didn’t betray that. Who was kind and thoughtful and gave the best gifts…Who had sat with her when she had waken up from nightmares and had been willing to lay down his life to make sure that her sister would be happy.

He was like a brother to Nesta. He was what she had always imagined an older brother to be like. And she knew that he had been utterly miserable, but hadn’t been able to fix what was wrong for him…and now she got to find out that it was all Rhysand’s fault.

Emerge just sighed. “Get in line,” her friend said drily. “Mor wants to do worse than that to him, I think.”

Nesta held back a snort. She believed it once she saw it and not before.

“He is fine. Quite happy even,” Gwyn repeated, a small grin painting her features.

“How do you know?” Nesta demanded, turning to her red-haired friend who just smiled at her.

“Because I saw him yesterday,” Gwyn said simply.

"You saw him?" Nesta asked, her eyes widening in surprise. "Where? When?" When had Gwyn.

Gwyn just sighed. “Why would a male and a female that love each other very much come to see a Priestess?”

Nesta's eyes widened as she realized what Gwyn was implying.

"You don't mean..." she trailed off, shock and disbelief etched on her face. "They're getting married?" she said weakly.

Gwyn just grinned at her, miming to lock up her mouth and throw away the key. "Let's just say that Azriel couldn't have been more in love if he had tried," she said cryptically, flipping the page of her book with a smirk.

“Who is she?” Nesta demanded. Who was Azriel’s mate? Who was the girl that the mother had picked to be good enough for Az?

“Sweet. Quiet,” Gwynn answered easily. “Thinks Azriel hung the moon and the stars.”

That was what he deserved, wasn’t it?

Azriel deserved happiness after everything he had been through, and if his mate could provide that for him, then that was all that mattered.

"Azriel deserves someone who loves him that much," she said, nodding in agreement. "Does he seem happy too?" she asked in a quiet voice.

"He's as happy as I've ever seen him," Gwyn answered, her expression softening. "He couldn't take his eyes off her the whole time. It was like the rest of the world didn't even exist."

Nesta smiled, feeling a sense of warmth thrumming through at the thought of Azriel being so happy. "I'm glad he's found someone who makes him feel that way," she said softly. "He deserves it."

Gwyn just smiled, her eyes twinkling. "I think they're good for each other," she said simply. "They just...fit together, you know?"

That’s what Nesta wished for for him.

And once she had that confirmation… well, it was much easier to calm Cassian.

Who had been near rabid with… Nesta wasn’t even sure with what. A bad conscience maybe. Anxiety, anger…a whole maelstrom of emotions.

"Talk to me," she said simply, as she sat down on the ground a few feet away from where he was stabbing one of the training dummy. She had half expected him to pin a painting of Rhysand to it, to stab his brother’s proxy. “Stop reducing every training double to kindle,” she said drily.

“Az said three days,” and he wasn’t there this morning,” Cassian snapped.

"Calm down," Nesta said firmly. "Azriel is a grown male, Cassian. He can take care of himself. Maybe something came up."

Like breakfast with his wife after they got married.

"But what if he's hurt or...or worse?" Cassian said, his voice cracking with emotion. "We don't even know where he is or what he's doing."

Nesta sighed, knowing that she couldn't brush off his concerns completely. "Look. He said he would be with his mate," Nesta said drily. "I am sure she'll take care of him. And Gwyn did see him yesterday and said he was fine."

"Why did Gwyn see him?" Cassian demanded immediately.

“Because I had a favour to ask," Azriel's voice came from behind them, drily.

Cassian turned around so quickly that she was quite sure that he got whiplash...and then pounced on Azriel in a bonecrushing hug.

"I am so sorry," she could hear her mate apologise. "I had a talk with Rhys. I imagine you'll get a apology from him as well. It's not enough, it's nowhere near enough, but...maybe it could be a start," Cassian said softly. "I am sorry that you didn't feel like you could come to me when you found your mate."

Even when Azriel had a temper...if it was about his family he was more forgiving than they had any right to, Nesta reflected drily, as she watched him return the hug from Cassian.

"It's not your fault," he waved him off, his voice dry. Cassian disagreed with that assessment, Nesta knew. Cassian thought that he should have said something earlier, done more...

She had never seen him as angry with Rhysand as he had been over the last few days. Actually, Nesta hadn’t thought that she would ever see the day that Cassian broke his High Lord's nose on purpose.

Cassian pulled back slightly from the hug, his expression still earnest. "I mean it, Az," he said. "I should have been there for you. I should have had your back."

"He did break Rhys'nose on your behalf," Nesta said drily.

Azriel's lips twitched into a faint smile. Thank you," he said, amusement in his voice. "That...means more than you know."

Cassian just shrugged, still feeling guilty for not having been there for Azriel when he needed him. "I should have been a better brother to you," he said quietly. "I'm sorry I let you down."

Azriel said nothing, but squeezed Cassian’s shoulder.

Nesta couldn’t help but look for a ring on his hand. A simple gold band glinted there on his finger, and she was unable not to smile at it.

“Congratulartions,” she said quietly, nodding to the ring and Azriel looked at her and then the ring…and then he chuckled as she stood up and hugged him too.

“Thank you,” he thanked her graciously.

“You got married?!” Cassian said, sounding shocked, but the warmth in his voice was apparent. “Congrats!”.

"So, tell us all about her," Nesta said seriously.

"Why do you want to know?" Azriel asked, staring at her.

"Because she is your mate. She is your wife. She is important to you," Nesta said simply. "She is important to you, so she is important to us. What's her name?"

"Her name is Sky," he answered softly.

Sky.

Her name was Sky.

Named after what Azriel hadn’t been allowed to feel for over a decade. Sky. Named after what every Illyrian held dearest.

"Sky is...the sweetest person I have ever met. With the bluest eyes. She loves books and her cat," Azriel explained, a soft smile on his face.

Nesta and Cassian exchanged a small smile at the way Azriel's face lit up when he talked about Sky. "She sounds amazing," Nesta said sincerely. "We can’t wait to meet her. Whenever you are ready."

"Do you...Do you want to come to dinner tonight?" Azriel offered.

Nesta hadn't expected that. Had expected Azriel to hold a grudge to keep her away from all of them...but he was giving them a chance.

"Are you sure?" Nesta asked carefully. "We would love to come, but only if you're comfortable with it."

Azriel paused for a moment, "I'm sure," he said simply. "Sky would like it, and I...I would like it too."

Nesta smiled, feeling a warmth in her chest at Azriel's words. "We'll be there," she said warmly, Cassian nodding in agreement.

"Good," Azriel said simply. "I'll tell Sky."

"Thank you, Az," Cassian said softly, his expression earnest. "For giving us a chance."

This didn't stop Nesta's mate from telling her about his more and more ridiculous theories about Azriel's mate during their flight into Velaris and the mountains surrounding it.

Nesta couldn't help but roll his eyes as Cassian suggested her being a mythical being like Amren. "I swear, Cassian, you have the wildest imagination," she said, shaking her head. "Can you focus on flying for one minute without dreaming up these ridiculous scenarios?"

Cassian just shrugged, grinning unrepentantly. "Hey, it's fun to speculate," he said with a playful wink. "Besides, you never know...maybe Az's mate is a mermaid princess or something equally as exciting."

Nesta couldn't help but snort with laughter, even as Cassian landed in front of a charming cabin at a mountain lake. As soon as they landed, Nesta took a moment to take in their surroundings. The cabin was indeed charming, hidden away in a picturesque mountain setting near a serene lake. The peaceful surroundings seemed to perfectly mirror Azriel's quiet and introspective nature. Nesta could understand why he had chosen this spot as his home.

As they made their way towards the front door, Nesta couldn't help but feel a flutter of nerves. This was…this was important.

This was the female that Azriel had married, his mate…she was important to him.

Before they had a chance to knock, Azriel opened the door, a slight smile on his face. "Come in," he said warmly.

Nesta's gaze immediately fell to the female at his size. Shorter than average, a body that consisted out of voluptuous curves, with chocolate brown waves falling to her waist. Her hands were clenched together and she was obviously nervous as she stared at Nesta and Cassian with ill-hidden apprehension.

"This...is Sky," Nesta heard Azriel say. Nesta couldn't tear her eyes away. Sky was exactly what she had expected and absolutely nothing like it at the same time.

Nesta's first impression of Sky was that she was undeniably pretty, in a quiet and understated way. But as she looked at the nervous expression on Sky's face, Nesta couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy.

She could only imagine how daunting it must feel for Sky to be meeting Azriel's family for the first time. She gave Sky a warm smile, which she hoped would put the girl at ease. "It's nice to finally meet you, Sky," she said gently. "Az has told us a lot about you."

Sky managed a trembling smile, but the nerves were clear on her face. "It...It's n...nice t...to me...meet y...you t...too," she stuttered, grimacing at her own voice. Azriel's hand on her waist tightened and he fixed both Nesta and Cassian with a look that told them there would be hell to pay if they said a single thing about her stutter.

Nesta just gave him a reassuring smile, as she got the message loud and clear. She wasn't going to make Sky feel even more uncomfortable and insecure than she already seemed to be. Not when it was clear that Azriel cared about her so much.

Cassian didn't even hesitate to pull first Azriel into a hug and then Sky right alongside with him, her small frame utterly dwarfed by Cassian.

“So you are my brother’s mate,” Cassian told her seriously. "We are so happy that we finally get to meet the girl that makes our brother so happy.”

Sky blushed at Cassian's warm words, but some of the tension seemed to leave her shoulders. "Th...Thank you...," she murmured, her tone a barely audible one. She stepped back into Azriel's embrace and he wrapped his arms around her tightly, his wings coming around to encircle her in a protective embrace.

Even his shadows seemed to love her. The shadows that normally kept away from every other person, only clinging to Azriel…seemed to dote on her, curls themselves through her hair, and along the hem of her dress…

"Shall we go inside?" Azriel asked, gesturing towards the open door behind him. Nesta and Cassian nodded, following the pair into the cozy cabin. The interior of the cabin was just as warm and inviting as the outside, with rustic wooden floors and a large stone fireplace that crackled cheerfully. There were shelves filled with books on every wall and a few comfortable armchairs nestled around a low table.

So many books. Nesta was quite sure that it probably could be considered a private library.

But before she could really take it in, there was a rough meowing.

Nesta glanced down in surprise to see a fat, fluffy brown cat sauntering towards them, meowing loudly. The cat rubbed against Sky's ankles before trying to leap on the arm of the couch...and failing horrible. "Is that your cat?" Nesta asked, an amused smile on his face.

"Y…Yes, Th...That's H...Hector," Sky answered, picking up the cat that now pretended that falling off the couch had been totally his plan all along and instead curled himself happily in Sky's arms. His yellow eyes stared in two different directions and his fur was patchy...but he was somehow quite charming.

Nesta liked him. He had character. And his rough purring was adorable.

"He's adorable," Nesta said honestly, holding out her hand towards him. As Hector sniffed at her, she reached out to gently scratch behind his ears. The cat leaned into her touch contentedly, his purrs growing even louder.

"Sky dotes on him," Azriel said with a hint of pride in his voice. "He was a stray and she took him in. She's been taking care of him ever since."

Nesta looked at Sky, who was smiling at her cat. "That's so sweet," Nesta said. "He's a big boy, isn't he?" she said with some amusement. When Sky held him, Hector seemed to be nearly half her size.

"I...It's a...all the tuna he eats," Sky answered drily.

Nesta chuckled, "Well, he's certainly in good hands with you." She watched as Hector purred contentedly in Sky's arms, clearly very attached to her.

Cassian, meanwhile, was eyeing the cat with a playful grin. "Careful, Az, Hector might try to steal your girl with all his charm," he teased.

Azriel just cocked an eyebrow, "Oh he already did," he drawled, a hint of amusement in his voice.

Nesta couldn't help but laugh at their banter. It felt good to see Azriel being relaxed enough to joke around, even if it was at his own expense.

Even Sky was smiling as Hector let out a loud meow, clearly demanding attention. "Someone's jealous," she said softly, scratching him behind his ears. Hector purred contentedly and burrowed deeper into her arms, clearly happy to be the center of attention.

"Y...You want to hold him?" she offered the cat to Nesta. "I need to check on dinner."

Nesta gamely lifted Hector from Sky's arms, cradling him like a baby. "I'll keep him entertained while you do," she said with a smile. Hector mewled contentedly, his head tilted as he looked at Nesta with one eye.

As Azriel and Cassian made themselves comfortable on the couch, “Are you sure that’s a cat?” Cassian hissed towards Azriel. “And not a stunted mountain lion or something?”

“It’s all the tuna he eats. He had a hard life," Azriel said defensively.

Nesta looked up from where she was still playing with Hector. "I can see that," she said with a nod, gesturing towards Hector's missing eye and patched up fur. "I can tell he was loved from the moment Sky took him in though."

Nesta carried him over to the bookcases, eyes greedily reading the names and words on the spines.

It was a whole galore of romance books in these bookcases, a lot that Nesta had never even heard about, though there were some of her favourites between them...another bookcase held books from every which topic that involved sword fighting and horse riding and blacksmithing and everything in between...lots of cookbooks too...and then there was one bookcase that seemed to be solely filled with every Sellyn Drake novel in existence. Even the ones that were so rare that notneven the house had yet managed to get them for Nesta.

Nesta couldn't help but smirk as she ran her fingers over the spines of the 'Sellyn Drake' books. "Seems like Sky is just as big of a fan as I am," she said with a chuckle.

She turned to see Sky in the open kitchen, busy with a large pan. "You have all of her books," Nesta said admiringly. "I can't believe you have some of the rare ones, I have been trying to get those forever!"

Sky looked up from her cooking, surprised that Nesta seemed impressed by her collection. "Y...Yeah, I...I do like them..." Sky replied, her voice soft and hesitant. She turned back to the stove, clearly feeling self-conscious as she stirred the pot.

Nesta sensed her discomfort and decided to lighten the mood. "You know, I think I should officially crown you as the ultimate Sellyn Drake fan," she said with a playful grin. "No one has a collection like this one. Maybe we can talk about our favorite scenes sometime. I'm dying to discuss the latest novel...Did you read it already? Azriel got it for my birthday," Nesta told her brightly. "It's signed. I have no idea how he even managed that."

"I gave it to him," Sky said, turning towards her.

Sky had gotten it for Az?!

"Where did you get it from? It wasn't even out yet?!" Nesta asked curiously. "Tell me your secrets."

Azriel smirked, "I have my ways," he said with a wink. "But I can't reveal all my secrets. The fun is in keeping a few things a mystery."

Nesta just rolled her eyes, "Always the cryptic one, Az." She then turned back to Sky, "But seriously, where did you get the signed copy from? I'd sell my soul to get my hands on one of those."

"The...The author owed me a favor," Sky said, her voice hesitant.

Nesta's eyes widened, "You mean you know Sellyn Drake in person??!!"

"I...I mean...I...she is...me" Sky stammered, her cheeks turning red as she fumbled with her words.

What?

Azriel chuckled warmly, walking over to Sky and wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling Sky close. "What Sky is trying to say, Nesta, is that she is Sellyn Drake," he finished for her.

Nesta just stared for a moment, her mouth hanging open in surprise. "Are you serious?" she asked, still reeling from the revelation.

Sky just gave her a small nod, her face flushed with embarrassment. "Sellyn Drake is… a…actually a p…pen n…name," she said softly. "I couldn't use my real name and still keep my a…anonymity...So Skylar Alden became Sellyn Drake.”

Nesta was still trying to process the news. "So you're telling me that the author of my favorite novels of all time, is standing in front of me, cooking dinner?"

Sky shrugged, "Y...Yes?" There was a hint of uncertainty in her tone, as if she was unsure of what reaction she was going to get from Nesta.

Nesta's face split into a wide grin, "This is the best day ever" she exclaimed. She couldn't believe that she was meeting her favorite author, and it was even better knowing that the author was someone so sweet and unassuming as Sky.

Cassian started laughing, the sound deep and amused. "You have a few tricks up your sleeve, Sky" he chortled amusedly.

Azriel chuckled, the corners of his lips curling into a small smile. "Sky is full of surprises, even to me," he teased.

Sky just swatted at his arm, a soft blush coloring her cheeks

***

Somehow actually admitting that she was Sellyn Drake...that was easy. So easy.

She used to be so afraid to tell people about it. But with Azriel at her side, she felt safer. His love and support made her feel more confident and comfortable in her own skin. She could be herself with him without any judgement.

And why shouldn’t she be proud of her success? She wrote these books! They were her babies!

"Alright, but I need to know what happens next!" Nesta told her, her grey eyes wide and desperate. "You left the book at such a cliffhanger!"

Sky laughed softly, feeling a little less self-conscious now that the cat was out of the bag. She turned back to the stove, stirring the pot once more.

"Maybe I c…can give you a s…spoiler or two," she offered, grinning. "But just this one time. Can't give e…everything away too easily now, can I?"

Nesta leaned in, her eyes gleaming with anticipation. "Please, please tell me," she begged. "I need to know what happens next!"

"Alright," Sky agreed, amused by Nesta's enthusiasm. "But you have to p…promise not to b…breathe a word of this to my publisher. She would kill me if they knew I was spilling the beans before the book is even published."

Nesta nodded eagerly, making a zipping motion across her lips. "Your secret is safe with me."

"And we lost them," Cassian said drily.

Azriel laughed, "Can't compete with the author herself, Cass. Best to just sit back and enjoy the ride."

Nesta was lovely and Cassian was as loud and boisterous as Azriel had described him to be...and quite frankly, Sky loved Azriel's family. At least the two people that she had met.

"Was tonight...alright?" Azriel asked her softly as he pulled her into his arms that evening.

Sky smiled gently, leaning back into his embrace. She felt relieved that the night had gone well, and that Azriel's family had accepted her with open arms.

"It was...better than alright," she replied softly, feeling a warmth in her heart. She caught his hand in hers, pulling it to her lips, so she could press a kiss to the simple gold band that encircled his ring finger.

Their wedding had been a spur of the moment decision a day ago...but Sky wouldn't have wanted it any other day. It was everything she had ever wanted. Just the two of them.

No need for a big production.

Azriel's eyes softened, and he tightened his arms around her. "I'm glad," he murmured, the emotion in his voice palpable. He kissed the top of her head, holding her close. Neither of them said anything for a while, just holding each other in a comforting silence.

"We have the healer appointment tomorrow," Sky said softly.

Something Azriel had insisted on after their talk about having children. He was worried that the beautiful wings that sprouted from his back would mean a difficult pregnancy for her, an impossible birth…

Azriel just nodded, his face set in a grim expression. "We do," he replied, his voice tight. He was still grappling with his fears about the situation. "But no matter what, we'll face it together," he promised her fiercely.

Madja, that was the healer's name, put these fears to rest however.

"Quite frankly, it's unlikely that the child will be born with wings anyway," she told them after she had listened to Azriel's fears. "It will only be half Illyrian, after all"

"Nyx?" Azriel questioned pointedly. He had mentioned his nephew to her in this context, about him being born with wings which had nearly killed his High Fae mother throughout the birth.

"There were....circumstances around his conception, you know that," Madja said drily. "Skylar is High Fae with a dash of River Nymph. Which quite frankly, could be a point in your favour anyway."

"How so?" Sky asked curiously.

"Your bones are...bendy," Madja told her drily. "Even if the child would inherit Azriel's wings...and would have them at birth...which is unlikely in itself, your pelvis would be able to...expand enough to have the baby pass through the birth canal. However, it is more likely that any child the two of you had would be similar to the other half-illyrian you know," she told Azriel pointedly. "Being able to summon the wings at will, just like Rhysand."

Just like the High Lord?

"Really?" Sky asked, feeling a sense of relief wash over her. Azriel also appeared visibly more relaxed. "So there's a chance that our child will be born without wings?"

Madja nodded in confirmation, giving them a slight smile. "Yes, there is," she said reassuringly. "But even if that isn't the case, your Nymph ancestry would make the birth easier for you."

Azriel's hand found Sky's, squeezing it gently. She could feel his relief mirroring her own. It was a weight lifted off their shoulders to know that their baby's birth might not be as difficult as they had feared.

It was calming. Like all the puzzle pieces were slowly putting themselves together.

"Thank you, Madja," Sky said warmly. "For putting our minds at ease."

#acotar fanfiction #azriel x reader #azriel x oc #azriel fanfic #azriel fanfiction #it’s a love story

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orimuraa · 25 days ago

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• I'm burning hot - LHS ↳ ┊: hot - le sserafim

꒰ 𝔖𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘴 ꒱┆being under the same company as your idol crush has it’s perks, especially when it comes to variety shows ⨾

۶ৎ idol!heeseung x fem idol!reader┆fluff, crack┆slight age gap? (3 years), co-workers to ???┆reader is in le sserafim┆wc 1.1k

⤷ 𝐲𝐞𝐣𝐢’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: thank you to my sweet 🫧 anon who requested this! i think it’s such a cute prompt and i hope i did okay ㅠㅠ feedback and reblogs are always appreciated >0<

part 2

꒰ঌ ℬℴℴ𝓀𝓈𝒽ℯ𝓁𝒻 ໒꒱

rule number 1 of being an idol: don’t fall in love.

rule number 2 of being an idol: if you make eye contact with a male idol, you’re dating.

rule number 3 of being an idol: don’t even interact with a male idol or else you’re dating.

so when you were told by your manager that you were going to be going on a variety show with lee heeseung of enhypen, you knew you were absolutely done for.

heeseung was the one idols you would break all those rules for. he was the one that could single handily break your career with a single second of eye contact.

you weren't sure if it was immense luck or immense doom that you were paired with your idol crush of many years, but whatever it was, it made your stomach turn with different emotions.

“chaewon eonnieeee,” you whined. “i’m so dead…the netizens are gonna rip me apart if i even breathe too close to him.” you sulked, dramatically flopping onto the practice room floors.

“ynnie, just be yourself, okay? it'll go smoothly if you don't fumble! just…try to avoid any scandals…” chaewon mumbles the last part, resulting in a playful smack on her shoulder.

“hey! don’t scare her like that!” yunjin scolds, walking over to where you two were sitting.

“she’s gonna be fine. just keep the eye contact to a minimum and don’t go too close to him, got it?” yunjin says, listing the things on her fingers.

got it. so basically don’t even breathe around lee heeseung. that’ll go wonderfully.

you weren’t even sure what the variety show was and what was even going to happen on it. you’re pretty sure your manager was telling you about it but you probably weren’t listening.

all you knew was that you were insanely nervous and very unprepared. oh! and that it was school themed.

when you first walked into the classroom that was rented out, you were greeted very politely by the staff and the show hosts. the show hosts were very famous comedians that were also dressed in high-school uniforms, despite being in their 40's.

then, your eyes locked with the prettiest bambi eyes ever. well- there goes rule number 2.

there stood lee heeseung who was practically glowing with his fake glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. god, did he look so good.

“hello! i’m y/n of le sserafim. it’s very nice to meet you,” you greeted, hoping your voice wasn't too shaky.

you shook hands with heeseung and for a second, you felt your career flash before you eyes.

“hi! i’m heeseung of enhypen! no need to be so formal! i heard we’re gonna be partners for the show!” he smiled sweetly, chuckling at how formal you were being.

“ah ok! i’m actually not quite sure what this show is about…” you replied sheepishly, heat rising to your cheeks.

“oh no worries! i’m sure they’re gonna explain everything before we start shooting,” he laughs lightly.

by the time you actually start filming, you’re already exhausted. you have to admit that you were having a ton of fun with the games and you have to say, you and heeseung make an amazing duo.

however, there was definitely a part of you that was holding back as you didn't want to make heeseung uncomfortable in any way. so far, you two had won the random dance challenge, shouting in silence, and limbo.

seeing heeseung laugh whole-heatedly made you smile, noticing the way he seemed less uptight like in the beginning.

you two were able to earn many coins so you could afford the more luxurious lunch options.

"hmm i say we get a tteokbokki, a ramyeon, and some galbi!" heeseung says, scrunching his eyebrows as he looks at the menu.

"i trust you and you're decisions," you nod, trying to hide you blushing cheeks. why did lee heeseung have to be so charming?!

you two sat next to each other for lunch as you were sharing the dishes you ordered, while the show still went on. the hosts were cracking jokes and also asking questions about your guys' idol lives.

at one point, one of the hosts pointed out how you and heeseung made a great pair in all of the games. the only games you two lost were pictionary (due to heeseung's horrendous artistic skills) and red light green light (due to your inability to stay still).

the comment made you blush for the 1015th time today and out of the corner of your eye, you saw heeseung's ears turn red as well. you prayed they would edit that out.

when filming came to an end, you stuck around just for a bit of behind-the-scenes filming, group photos, and a bit of filming for your vlog.

"heeseung! come here!" you called out to the taller man. "come say hi to the fearnots!"

"hello fearnots! don't worry, i have taken care of y/n just fine and we actually make a great time!" he says to the camera, leaning in to your side a bit.

but while he talks some more to the camera, all you can focus on is him. how close he is, how good his perfume smells, and how much more beautiful he is up close.

"right y/n?" heeseung's voice knocks you out of your daze and you quickly recover.

"yep!" you squeak, hoping it didn't seem too awkward.

you also managed to squeeze in a bit of challenge filming. your group recently made a comeback and enhypen was releasing a digital single very soon so it was perfect. you let heeseung decide if he wanted to do the 'come over' challenge, or the 'hot' challenge and clearly, he had an opinion.

"if we do the hot challenge, with you caption it 'heeseung's burning hot'?" he playfully smirks. you shove his shoulder lightly, laughing off your flustered-ness.

"fine," you huff, rolling your eyes at him.

you two quickly learned each other's choreo and were able to film the challenges very successfully (with minor casualties). the loose choreo was very enticing and it definitely did not help with your flustered state.

"so, am i burning hot?" he smirks again, taking a sip of water after finished the challenges. you feel the air get caught in your throat.

"no," you lie, holding back an equally annoying smirk. but before you can think anymore, heeseung leans in to whisper something into your ear:

"darling, we both know that's a lie."

his expression is unreadable but there's a faint glint of interest in his eyes. and before you know it, he's walking out the door with his manager, mouthing the words "call me" as you discover the piece of paper in your pocket.

oh, chaewon was so gonna kill you.

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ✉︎ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ 𝐉𝐢𝐣𝐢’𝐬 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @vmpivory, @yuvany, @seozii, @pinknjm, @greentulip, @jomisu, @nxzz-skz, @ancnymcnzjy, @hyukabean, @annybah, @ijustwannareadstuff20, @chaeneu, @17ericas, @firstclassjaylee, @riribelle, @right-person-wrong-time, @cheruphic, @woniefication, @melodiessvy, @soona-huh

#₊˚⊹♡𝖄ᥱȷі's 𝖂᥆rks #enhypen #engene #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x reader #lee heesung x reader #lee heeseung #heeseung #heeseung imagines #heeseung scenarios #heesung enhypen #heeseung x reader #lee heeseung fluff #heeseung fluff #heeseung soft hours #lee heeseung soft hours #enhypen heeseung #kpop x reader

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l4mplight · 10 months ago

Text

Miquella and Trina; A Tragedy

Hey Tumblr. I have a lot of thoughts about Shadow of the Erdtree, and these ones... let's just say I don't think they'd do well on Reddit. It's not often that I feel particularly impacted by a particular fictional character. Usually I connect more with narrative arcs and themes, which is why I think I'm so drawn to the ephemeral, vibes based storytelling of Fromsoft's games. Playing through SOTE, though, I found Miquella (and St Trina) to be extremely emotionally compelling and relatable, and I wasn't sure exactly why. I think I've put my finger on it now though. First of all, know that I am writing from the perspective that Miquella is a sympathetic character. I know that it's not uncommon to read him as a manipulative Machiavellian villain, but I think that's both a misreading of the text as well as just plain boring. Like, he's not a Griffith clone you guys, give From some credit. Anyway, here we go.

"You have no understanding. Of Miquella the Kind. Of St. Trina's Love.

Content Warning: I'll be discussing themes of depression, and the implication of suicidal ideation.

So, a classic Fromsoftware theme is despair, and the ways we cope with a world full of it. It shows up twice in Shadow of the Erdtree; with Midra and the Frenzied Flame, where despair leads to a selfish nihilism that asks us to burn everything down, and with Thiollier and St Trina, who offer sleep as a comfort to the weary. Running a small errand for Thiollier has him say the following.

"If you find yourself… weary of the weight of this life, then just give me the word. Sleep is a balm, and eternal sleep… is an elixir."

Drinking the elixir he offers will, of course, result in an instant death. This is our first encounter with the idea of "Eternal Sleep," a more potent form of the sleep status effect that only appears here in the Shadowlands, after St Trina has been abandoned. The Velvet Sword of St. Trina tells us as much: "Silver sword of St. Trina, now stained the color of velvet. Inflicts eternal sleep. When St. Trina was abandoned, the faint, light-purple mists coalesced into an intoxicating deep-purple cloud." In order to ascend to godhood, Miquella abandons first his physical body, and then the more abstract aspects of himself. As we begin to descend down the fissure where we'll find Trina, a cross marks the spot as the place where Miquella abandoned his love. This connects Trina, "the discarded half" as Thiollier puts it, with Miquella's love. Leda confirms this in her own dialogue:

"St. Trina's love for Kind Miquella is boundless. She is, after all, his other half. Or perhaps her feelings go beyond even that. Even if she was left behind, I doubt her heart would waver."

Keep that in mind, it'll be relevant later.

Near the cross, a spirit offers up some of the most heartbreaking dialogue I've come across so far. The spirit gives us a bigger picture of Miquella's goals:

"Kindly Miquella... I see you've thrown away... something you should not have. Under any circumstances. How will you salvation offer... to those who cannot be saved? When you could not even save your other self?"

I teared up at this. The emotional impacted was aided by the fact that I ran into the spirit right after telling Moore to put his past behind him, leading him to rededicate himself to Miquella. He says:

"Hm. Maybe that’s Kindly Miquella’s love. Love for all the unloved. Love, to banish the pain."

Note here that Moore suggest Miquella's love will "banish the pain." This is also essentially what Trina's sleep does. It's a comfort to those in need. Anyway, between these two instances, we end up with a pretty good picture of the sort of god Miquella wants to become. He was already sympathetic to the outcasts of The Lands Between in the basegame, where he built Elphael and the Haligtree as a haven for those rejected by the Golden Order, such as the Albinaurics and Misbegotten we find there. In the Shadowlands, he has gone a step further. Hornsent tells us that he has committed himself, in essence, to righting Marika's wrongs.

"Miquella has said as much himself – he wishes now to throw it all away. He says the act – though undoubtedly painful – will sear clean the Erdtree’s wanton sin. The truth of his claim can be found at each cross. 'Tis evidence enough to earn my belief."

Of all of Marika's children, Miquella is the only one to see the serious flaws in her empire. Ymir points this out to us as well.

"No matter our efforts, if the roots are rotten, then we have little recourse. Ever-Young Miquella saw things for what they were. He knew his bloodline was tainted, his roots mired in madness. A tragedy if there ever was one. That he would feel compelled to renounce everything when the blame lay squarely with the mother."

My thinking here is aligned with Mother Ymir. You really have to feel for Miquella; he has essentially taken on, alone, the responsibility of making up for centuries of Golden Order imperialism. That's a massive burden to bear, especially for Miquella, cursed with eternal childhood.

(It's easy to miss, but Miquella actually ages up significantly when we see him in god-form. Until he steps back through the Divine Gate, he would have looked and sounded like he does in the introductory art and in ending memory scene. Compare those with how he appears in the boss fight, and it's clear godhood at least helped him reach puberty lol) So we've established that Miquella is the child of Imperial Rome on Steroids, is cursed with eternal childhood, and is an empathetic prodigy with the weight of the world on his shoulders. Surely his mental state is perfectly healthy, right? Right??

Final warning, this is where things get quite sad. Here is where I will try to tie Miquella's arc together with Thiollier and St Trina, and the comforting oblivion and relief from despair that sleep represents for them.

As we search for St Trina, we descend down into the Stone Coffin Fissure. This is a place of death, with massive coffins built into the fissure walls, and Gravebirds, Bloodfiends and Putrescent enemies everywhere. St Trina is found at the deepest possible pit of this fissure, in a swamp of putrescence that has since blossomed into a garden of deep velvet lilies because of her influence. Trina offers us nectar of "eternal sleep," as Thiollier did previously, and as established then, "eternal sleep" is essentially nothing more than a peaceful death. Trina seems to fit in quite well in this place of ancient dead things, with some of the ancient remains even being compelled to fight for her in exchange for eternal rest, becoming the Putrescent Knight.

(Side note for levity because we're about to get sad again; I love this guy. It's a knight made out of the skeleton of a horse, riding on that same horse's decaying flesh goop body. Like, ugh. Beautiful. Plus, it may even have taken that shape because of Trina sharing Miquella's memories of Radahn, who was never far from his horse Leonard...)

We meet St Trina in her garden, and when we imbibe her nectar, we eventually begin to hear her voice in our death-dreams. She seems to pity him. Mourn for him, almost.

"Make Miquella stop... Don't turn the poor thing into a god..."

Trina appears to be in a bad state after her fall. She can only manage to get a few words across to us at once. Just as Leda predicted, her heart hasn't wavered. She is only concerned with Miquella's well-being.

"Godhood would be Miquella's prison. A caged divinity... is beyond saving."

Trina's most pressing concern is that godhood will be a prison for Miquella. Now, this could in theory be because gods are subject to manipulation from the Fingers and the Greater Will or a similar reason, but given that she calls him a "poor thing," I think there is likely a more emotional reason behind Trina's plea. I think that Trina is speaking as the embodiment of Miquella's love, but especially his ability to love and care for himself...

"You must kill Miquella... Grant him forgiveness."

...and she asks us to kill him.

In excising Trina from his being, I think Miquella also expelled the part of himself that was able to recognize how miserable divinity would be for him, and how miserable he was. The part of him that was tired of carrying the responsibilities that his compassion demanded of him. The part of him that was exhausted, despairing and desperate from having failed to cure Malenia, failed to save Godwyn, failed to perfect the Haligtree. St Trina is the part of Miquella that wanted to be stopped, to rest, to sleep, to die. In abandoning her as he does, Miquella is essentially repressing those thoughts and feelings, replacing them with more "selfless" ones; self-sacrifice, suffering on behalf of others, his martyrdom and apotheosis. I don't want to forget about "grant him forgiveness" either. She might mean forgiveness for failing to become a god, for not being good enough to succeed Marika and right her wrings. Maybe forgiveness for failing Malenia and Godwyn, or for leaving the Haligtree behind. Maybe even for abandoning her. But on the road to godhood, Miquella can't afford to indulge in this sort of self-pity. A child craves forgiveness and approval, a god must cast these things out.

"I'm feeling rather lost. Haunted by memories. Of St. Trina. Her visage. Her scent. The lure of velvety sleep. Would Kindly Miquella chasten me? For falling for St. Trina, while knowing that she was the discarded half? The problem is… I simply cannot help it. I would sacrifice everything, just to gaze upon her, one last time."

I want to mention Thiollier one more time here too. His primary visual motif is the long white braids that he wears on his clothes, reminiscent of Miquella and Trina's own signature braids (remember, she looked like an older feminine Miquella before her fall and injury). Thiollier is obsessed with Trina, pursuing her to hear her voice and fade into the comfort of her velvet sleep, though this doesn't kill him like it does us. I don't think Thiollier is connected to Miquella in any textual way, but I think he does serve as a reflection of the sorts of thoughts Miquella may have been surpressing. The self-pity, the need for approval and love, the feelings of weakness and uselessness. These are the things that lead Thiollier to pursue endless slumber.

Thiollier doesn't give in to that despair, however. Though he initially takes St. Trina's words... poorly, he eventually realizes what must be done, and dedicates himself to his new purpose: carrying out her final wish.

"I am here to serve St. Trina evermore. I am deeply sorry. For doubting you. I am here only to grant St. Trina's singular wish. I will stop Miquella the kind. He will never become a god."

This post is already quite long, but I also want to mention the obvious gender stuff going on here. There are a number of moments that make it seem as though St. Trina might actually be more than just "half" of Miquella. Firstly, as she is shown falling in the story trailer, Leda is describing how Miquella abandoned his fate, as if Trina had a vital role to play in Miquella's future. It also seems as though Trina isn't cursed in the same way that Miquella is; her voice and size indicate that she is at least more substantial than his "infant form," and she is depicted in "adult form, somewhat unnervingly" on the Torch of St. Trina. Furthermore, her "adult form" has a third eye in the middle of her forehead. The third eye is a symbol of enlightenment in both Hinduism and Buddhism; it seems that Trina has achieved some level of wholeness in this depiction. Meanwhile, when Miquella achieves godhood, his eyes remain permanently shut. He also appears to have only one physical arm. He holds Radahn with two incorporeal arms while casting with his real right arm, but his left arm appears to fade away to nothing before the elbow, as if unfinished. Miquella's blindness and asymmetry here, I think, reflect how unbalanced and incomplete his divinity is without Trina.

One more hint towards St Trina being a part of Miquella's future lies way back at the Haligtree. In Malenia's bossroom, just above where Miquella's cocoon was once embedded into the tree, the branches and roots appear to form a silhouette. This could be Miquella, Trina, or both, but I do see a certain resemblance to Trina's depiction on the torch in the way the "hair" covers the eyes. Given that Miquella's body appears to have grown a decent amount inside of the cocoon when we see in at Mohg's palace, it's possible that the cocoon situation was his original attempt to cure himself of his own curse, or perhaps become a part of the Haligtree itself. In the Shaman Village, Marika's home, there is a similar scene. A woman's body that resembles Marika seemingly mummified within the hollow of a tree. I honestly have no idea what to make of that just yet, but I thought it worth a mention.

So, with all that in mind, abandoning Trina seems to be even more significant. Not only has Miquella divested himself of his love and his fate, but maybe even his future, too. Being eternally nascent, he is always in a state of potential, after all. Am I suggesting that Miquella is a transfeminine character? That he was meant to grow up to become a goddess in the aspect of St. Trina, or maybe even more like Marika than he already is? Well, maybe. If you find it compelling, then absolutely. Fromsoftware's storytelling is always ambiguous, and is always design to leave us some room to read and interpret, to really play in the space we are given. Personally, I do find it compelling in a horribly tragic sort of way, fitting for the setting. It's also entirely possible that I have rather self-indulgently projected some of my own angst onto these character. I likely have, to be perfectly honest. It's rare that I really connect with a set of characters or a story like I have with this lot, and I hope that maybe some of you reading this will feel similarly. If you have read this far, thanks <3

#elden ring #shadow of the erdtree #miquella #st trina #elden ring dlc #miquella the unalloyed #thiollier #elden ring sote #elden ring spoilers #elden ring lore

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astonmartingf · 1 year ago

Text

VOODOO DOLL ; LH44

lewis hamilton x mercedes driver!reader

. . . hamilton is a penchant for opposing teammates, and after the previous one he somehow got stuck with another, but after years of dominance new emotions develop between the two.

amgf i am a sucker for yearning and fluff and this is exactly that, lewis the man that you are... also if the format is different from previous posts it's because i'm testing out formats

death of a bachelor ; masterlist

[2025]

“You called us for this?” Alonso raised his brows looking pitifully at you sharing the same expression as Nico from the left side. You groan in your palms, hiding your face from the two men.

“This is a big deal okay. Why are you invalidating my feelings?” Mumbling under your breath, you reason out hoping for a sliver of understanding. It’s been so long since you bottled your feelings, and as much as you hate to admit it, you might start-

“No one is invalidating your feelings other than yourself amor, otherwise why would you call us to convince you that you actually like-”

“Okay, okay, okay. Shut up will you, it’s like you want the whole world that I like…” You turn around, checking the surroundings. “Lewis.”

Nico pressed his lip into a thin, a short sigh leaving his mouth, “You’re in denial and in love.”

You shot Nico an incredulous look, a scoff escaping your lips, “I am not in love. Alo, tell him.”

The older Spaniard grimaced, shaking his head. “At this point, you may as well be- four years? He’s already moved to Ferrari for God’s sake and you have yet to make a move.”

You groan once more, reminding yourself of the signs and signals you missed or accidentally dropped towards Lewis. “I have made a few moves…” Your voice thinning as you feel two pairs of eyes staring right at you.

“And I’m embarrassed to say that they also flew over Lewis’ head. So no, don’t ask me what I said, or did- just ignore what I said.” You rest your head down on the table, sad and moping.

Nico laughs at you, “Look at the state of you, hung over a boy.”

“He’s not just any boy Nico, gosh you’re acting like you moved on quickly from him- this is Lewis we’re talking about. Heck that was a semi-platonic relationship you had going on there, how am I supposed to cope with actually knowing that I can’t be in a romantic relationship with him?”

A gasp left your lips, hands shaking as your cover over them. Avoiding Nico’s gaze who was still laughing at you, despite your jab at his relationship with Nico and Alonso who took a sip from his cup of tea.

“So you admit it…”

Alonso broke the silence leaving you nodding to yourself.

“I actually- Fuck.”

[2023]

Lewis sits in silence, watching Nico squint his eyes from the other side of the table. “When was this?”

Gulping, Lewis didn’t think this far. He was ranting first, and then eventually spilling in some white lies in between before Nico filled in and connected the dots. He should’ve known Nico would catch on- Lewis is being too obvious. At least that’s what he thinks.

Sighing, Lewis mulled over his thoughts gathering his words before speaking it out into existence. The three words he’s been replaying over his head for the last two years- When did things get complicated?

“Two years ago? I thought about it far longer than I’ll admit. But I’ve recently come into terms with it…” Lewis nods his head, sitting in silence with Nico.

“And what happened? What’s different?”

Smiling to himself at the thought of you, Lewis goes through all the times you’ve managed to tug the tiniest of his heartstrings causing him to malfunction like the current state of their engine. It was pitiful, not just the team, but the state of his heart.

“I don’t even understand… Which makes me even more furious! How could she do that to me? I think about her all the time, she’s not even racing anymore. She’s nowhere near me, yet she’s all I think about, it’s driving me insane. And don’t get me started on whenever she’s actually on the paddock- I see her what? Once a month, I go to the F1 Academy races to get a glimpse of her. I'm such a loser. And her face! How could I not stop by and greet her, she’s always enthusiastic whenever I’m there- Not to toot my own horn, but I’m pretty good company, and we are friends but God I wish she’d take in the signs I’m putting down. I like YN- too much at this point, I can’t believe it. And you! You’re laughing at my misery.”

Lewis raises his head, far too into his thoughts only realizing that Nico has been laughing at him for the past minute. His back flushed into the seat, legs crossed with arms resting on the table.

“At least one of us is enjoying this, because I’m a suffering loser, who can’t get a grip. She’s actually doing things to my mind. I’m acting crazy because of her.”

Nico bursts into laughter, “You’re- you have a lot to say about YN.”

Lewis scoffs, giving his friend a pointed look, “That’s all you have to say? Wow, I miss talking to you, but this- this is a personal attack towards me.”

Shaking his head, Nico wheezes at Lewis, “No, no, no… Think about it- look at you. It’s just funny to me, I remember when you first talked about her. You said, and I quote, “I will never like her as a teammate.” and you also compared her to me. Look at you now. I think it’s funny.”

Lewis shakes his head, disappointed. “I shouldn’t have said anything. Forget it.”

“No- you’re not taking all that back. Go on- tell me more.”

Lewis raises his brows suspiciously, “What? So you can tease me?”

Nico raises his hands in surrender, “Hey if not me who else would listen to you talk on and on about YN?”

“I know Seb would listen to me without judgment, and maybe Charles…” Lewis lists the few people in and out the grid who are aware about his feelings towards YN.

Nico raises his brows laughing to himself, “Oh Lewis, you truly are living in your own bubble- you’re too good for yourself. Guess how I know what you’ve been talking to Seb about? Right, he calls me to check on you.”

Lewis pales at the realization, how Nico is somehow always available, how he calls on the right time.

“And Charles, who calls Seb, who calls me. Right Lewis, there’s three of us- and you’ll always end up with me if you don’t get your act right.”

lewishamilton

liked by nicorosberg, charles_leclerc, and 21,582,953 others

lewishamilton me when my crush finally noticed me...

view 1,648,592 comments...

user1 EXCUSE NE? WHAT HAPPENED TO HELLO AND HI?

user2 am i seeing this right?

user3 the power of yn

user4 why would you assume it's yn?

user5 i mean who else could get lewis to post like this?

user6 bro got 21 million people watching this confession

nicorosberg this is what you got from our conversation two years ago? embarrassing, even i can do better than this

sebastianvettel5 he's trying, leave him be

charles_leclerc is this what we've been waiting for the last four years? the bar is actually low

user7 what do you mean 4 years?

user8 HELP, they're actually implying that this is for YN

user9 there goes the lewyn fans going crazy it could be anyone 🙄

user10 can't a girl have their fun, jeez leave people alone

user11 it's embarrasing

user12 they're actually eating lewis up with this

nicorosberg this is your plan?

lewishamilton yeah, it's working is it not?

nicorosberg i don't think so man

charles_leclerc is she even on instagram?

lewishamilton ...

sebastianvettel5 for someone who has a crush on this person for the last 4 years i might add this is actually embarrassing behavior

user13 what is happening?

user14 i love this too much what the heck

user15 i know they're grilling him in the messages

user16 another one for the history books 😤✍️🔥🔥🔥

user17 it's blow after blow for hamilton

user18 he's a loser in love actually, does it make you stupid?

lewishamilton i don't care if i look stupid i want her to see this

amgf ahahahahaha the end! uhm... enjoy 👍 this actually had me giggling and shit wtf, maybe it's lewis maybe it's the fluff but /sighs/ the lore i can add to this fic... just you wait 😤

#f1 smau #f1 x reader #f1 fluff #lewis hamilton smau #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton fluff

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pboogerswbb · 2 months ago

Text

SO IT GOES - chapter 14

Paige Bueckers x oc Warnings: language, sexual language, arguing and emotional abuse, ANGST (I HAVE NOT PROOFREAD THIS GUYS OK) Wordcount: 5,8K A/C: SHE'S BAACK, thank you for being so patient and understanding because this has been a long time coming. I'm sure you guys probably feel the same when i say my life for the past couple weeks has been consumed by hoops so i've been writing less. i'm back on that grind tho. in 24 hours paige's last game as a husky will be over and my god, i can't even put into words how badly i want this for her, for all of them. she's earned that natty and i truly believe that we can get it. i have her to thank for all of this - each and every one of you. i love writing and i never thought so many people would enjoy my writing. it's completely transferred my dream of writing a book someday from a childish fantasy to reality. seeing all of you enjoy my writing has CHANGED MY LIFE and it's all thanks to you and this blonde basketball player. i'm so grateful for her and she deserves everything. please Lord, give it to her <3 i love all of you ty for bearing with me.

flashbacks are in italics, as always

Before London

The dents on the pillow have formed a pattern on my cheek, pressed tightly on the light pink cotton. It takes me a moment to remember the reason behind the burning of my eyes, or why my cheeks feel wet. Oh right. My memory soon returns, the tightening in my chest reminding me of my brother’s silhouette narrowing in the airport as he walked away. Perhaps I wouldn’t have been so upset, but it was a hard day. A day I just wanted to be over. My wedding day. Or what would’ve been if it hadn’t been for that day in February, where I finally mustered up the nerve to pack my bags.

My joints ache again, and instinctually my arm reaches for Paige, for comfort, for the person who had become my home. But she’s not there. I can’t feel the weight of her anywhere on the couch. Opening my eyes, I look around adjusting to the afternoon light.

“Paige?” I mutter, sitting up and rubbing my tired eyes. The humming of the AC is all that answers my call. Confused, I wrap my cardigan around me tighter, tip toeing on the cool hardwood, looking for any sign of the blonde. I check the kitchen, the bathroom - no one. The bedroom door is ajar, an ominous sign of something coming. The gentle drizzle outside taps against the window, taunting me.

“Baby?” I ask, my stomach stirring already. The uneasy silence responds again. Pushing the door open, I reveal an empty room left just as I did this morning. Until my green eyes travel to the bed, a cream coloured card placed neatly on the sheets. I’d recognise the card anywhere. Still, before I can think my feet walk to the edge of the bed, eyes welling up before my mind comprehends what’s happened.

“Paige?” I cry out again, my voice shaking and weaker than before, eyes staring at the wedding invite laid out on the striped cotton of the sheets. I couldn’t tell why I called out her name, I knew she wasn’t there. That she’d be far gone, furious. It’s what Paige did, hid the big emotions with anger and a temper.

My shaky hands reach for my phone. Texts from Trey, Lala, my brother telling me he made his layover. None from the person I missed. I stand there, staring at the wall, calling over and over. Must have been five or six times before I give up and throw the phone on the bed. Screw this.

Sliding my slippers on, I hurry out the flat, making up the flight of stairs until I’m behind that all too familiar door above mine, knocking on it urgently. My body works as if on autopilot, I’m not thinking anything through. I’m not even sure what I’d say if she opened the door. What was there to say?

I’d love to tell Paige there was no reason why I never told her I was engaged. That it was just a minor detail I had forgotten about. But considering all our conversations surrounding my life and Jasper, it only dawned on me now that not telling her had been a calculated move on my part. Frankly, because, as much as it scared me to admit, I felt ashamed. Paige thought so highly of me - selfishly I enjoyed it. If she knew I was about to marry the man that treated me like shit, I’m sure she’d never think of me the same. Maybe she might even realise she could get away with treating me like that too. I knew if I showed my true self, she would never be with me. She would never love me. No one could ever love me. This I knew as surely as I knew the sun rises in the east and sets in the west.

My watery eyes glance at the clock on the wall. 5:48PM. He’d be home any minute. I rub my chest in circular, smoothing motion. Like my mom used to. Calm down Zari. With shaky hands I keep throwing clothing after clothing into different bags, yellow, beige, red fabrics flying around the room. There’s no time to zip them up, I had to leave. I knew if he showed up I’d become aware of how truly weak I am. I’ll never get away unless I leave now.

I carry three bags downstairs, overflowing with makeup, photo albums, everything I deemed important. The set of plates I spent a fortune on seemed irrelevant right now. I lean over the small notebook on the table by the front door, tears wetting the page. I flip a new one.

Gripping onto the pen like a lifeline, I scribble the words that were true.

We weren’t made for this Jasper. I’m sorry.

Lower lip trembling, the memories of this very notebook fill my head. The way the loving, gentle notes of a young happy couple turned bitter and violent so suddenly. I didn’t understand what happened. Jasper was always kind, gentle, patient but the moment we moved in together, it’s like a new Jasper appeared. Narcissistic, manipulative, controlling, gaslighting. I knew all this - I knew he was all those things. Still, I loved him. More than anything.

As I slide the gold engagement ring off my slender finger, the sound of a key sliding into the lock interrupts my thoughts.

“Hey Zari, I got some Chine-” Jasper murmurs, suddenly stopping when he sees the scene. It doesn’t take him long to put the pieces together, the last omen the engagement ring sitting pretty on the side table.

“What is going on?”

I quickly wipe tears away, wanting to back down, to fold. I wasn’t sure I was brave enough for this.

“J-Jasper,” I sob, watching him reach for the notebook.

“You’re leaving me?” He asks, brown eyes quickly welling up. Suddenly my heart throbs with pain.

“I’m sorry,” I mumble, sniffling.

“B-but the wedding. What about the wedding?” The curly haired man asks, his voice uncharacteristically vulnerable. Suddenly flashes of the early days, the innocent crush, the tension of the small touches and the hidden giggles overwhelm me. How could I leave this man. I loved him. I always would. There was no denying it.

“Jasper,” I gasp. “W-we both know that we’re not happy.”

“I’m happy,” he exhales, turning to me with sad eyes, hands reaching out to mine. I flinch, pulling away.

“No, Jasp-”

“You’re afraid of me?” He asks, shocked and sad.

Yes.

“No, darling. No,” I reassure him, reaching for his hands. “I just don’t think this… works.”

We’re both crying, my thumbs soothing over his soft skin.

“No,” Jasper whispers, shaking his head. “No, no, no, no. Izara, no,” he sobs, getting on his knees in front of me, wrapping his arms around my waist, head leaning against my lower stomach. He’s clutching to me like he might die without me. It makes me feel sick. Guilty.

“Jasper,” I cry out, grabbing his arms. “Please get up.”

“You can’t leave me,” he answers weakly, wetting my sweater with his tears. I take a deep breath, looking around the house we’ve shared together, realising that even with all the good, there was always so much more bad.

“No Jasper, get up,” I muster all my strength to say this, pushing his hands off me and taking a step back. Suddenly, the tears stop, his face changes from emotional to cold, detached. He gets up from the floor, rubbing his jaw in the way he did when he was furious.

“Huh,” he nearly chuckles, looking at the floor. “Of course, you think you’re better than me. Think you can do better.”

“No, Jas, that’s not how I think. I’m jus-”

“Shut up bitch,” he spews out. “All fucking females are the same. Nothing’s good enough.”

I’m taken aback. I had never heard him talk like this.

“You really think anyone’s ever gonna want you?” Jasper asks, his words like spiders weaving webs into my brain. “With your nagging? No one’s ever good enough for you. Nothing is. You just think everyone needs to do whatever you want.”

“That’s not true,” I say, but barely believe it myself. Maybe he’s right.

“Really? Who would put up with you?” He says condescendingly. “Who would love you?”

I’m silent, ears ringing but not loud enough to blur out his words.

“Go ahead, leave. You’re gonna come crawling back when you realise no one else will stick around.”

He’s looking for a reaction, growing more and more frustrated when I don’t give it to him. I merely stare at the wall blankly, tears falling down my cheeks.

His anger is rising, jaw clenching and the veins in his neck throbbing. “I loved you when no one else would. Me!” He screams, spit landing on my face as he does, his hot breath on me. “I’m the only one that ever will!”

The front door bursts open, Kiran panting and out of breath. I had called him in a panic. Told him I’m finally leaving Jasper.

“Oi, get off my sister you knob,” Kiran yells, grabbing Jasper and pushing him against the wall by the stairs.

“Kiran!” I yell, grabbing his jacket but he shakes me off, holding onto the collars of Jasper’s shirt.

“Been waiting for this day since I met you,” Kiran scoffs, keeping Jasper against the wall with ease. He was much stronger. “Never wanna see your face again, yeah? Stay the fuck away from us.”

“Kiran,” I command with authority, finally getting the attention of my brother. His hazel eyes flicker to me, the grip on Jasper’s collar easing.

“Let’s just go,” I say weakly, grabbing one of the bags that had fallen on the floor. Wordlessly, Kiran lets go of the curly haired man panting, back flush against the wall as he watches my brother pick up the rest of the bags, opening the door for me. One more time I glance at Jasper, wondering if he’s right. I wasn’t easy. I was a handful, high maintenance. But a lifetime of being alone and unloved was better than spending each day afraid of my own fiance.

The arena is buzzing with scrambling and rushed footsteps, the media team gathered in the tunnels going through what needs to be done today. Trey’s been talking the past 15 minutes, going back and forth from describing the details of his weekend to what questions I should be asking what players. I don’t hear him, staring at the pale brick wall and picking the skin of my lips. I haven’t slept, the heaviness of my eyes reminding me of how exhausted I felt. My body felt tense, shoulders aching, all the seams of my clothes itching against my skin making my heart pound.

I had been knocking and knocking behind Paige’s door, but there was no answer. She hadn’t replied to my messages or calls, and I had barely seen a glimpse of her as we travelled to DC, and those few times she had been avoiding my gaze like the plague - acting as if I didn’t exist. That’s exactly how I felt. Like I finally got proof of what I’d feared. That Jasper was right.

“And then I thought, Zari. Zari?”

I don’t hear, face blank and the dark circles underneath my eyes visible.

“Hey,” Trey pulls on my sleeve, my head snatching to him. “You okay?”

“Sorry,” I mumble, rubbing my face exhaustedly. “What were you asking?”

He looks at me for a while, face filled with worry. “Uh, just if you got that interview with Satou done?”

“Oh, yeah,” I hum with a smile, though it physically pains me to lift the corners of my mouth, lower lip trembling with the idea of how the blonde was behind that brick wall I had been staring at, preparing for the game against the Mystics. Maybe if I stare for long enough she’ll sense me, come out, and let me explain.

“Thank you Zari,” Trey says softly, “let’s head out, game gonna start soon.”

“Uhh, I need some water first,” I mumble, waving the rest of the team away. In reality I didn’t care. I just wanted to stay behind to catch Paige. To make her listen to me. God, why didn’t I just tell her?

The Dallas Wings finally exit their locker room, one by one coming out in a neat line, making final adjustments to their jerseys or hair. Paige is the last one, closing the door behind herself. Suddenly I fix my posture, opening my mouth to talk.

“Paige, can you help?” Satou asks before I have the chance to say anything, her sports bra strap somehow twisted around her jersey.

“‘Course,” the blonde smiles, as if nothing had happened. No dark circles, no shaky hands. She seems like herself, like my absence had no effect on her. Meanwhile the devastation of not having her around was making me hurt everywhere, unable to eat or sleep.

Without even glancing my way, she walks over to the taller girl, fingers working to untangle her. I stare and stare, but no words come out. There’s nothing I can say. I feel like a scolded child who had come back home after failing a test. My green, tired eyes watch Paige, her ponytail flicking off her shoulder as she chats easily with her teammate, without a worry in the world. There, on her long neck where I’d kissed many times, is a bright red mark.

My heart drops, alarm bells going off in my mind. Suddenly it’s becoming very clear why she hadn’t been home all night, why she hadn’t picked up her phone no matter how many times I called. Because she had been too busy wrapped up in some other girl.

“Zari! Was that interview okay?” Satou asks with a bright grin, Paige still working to release her jersey, pretending as if I’m not there.

My eyes well up, tears threatening to spill as I stare at the two girls. Swallowing loudly, I bury the shakiness in my voice and put on a fake smile, slightly too perky to be real. “Yeah, it was perfect. Would you excuse me?”

I push past the girls, biting down on my lower lip. The moment I’m out of sight, the first tears slip down my cheeks. I need to find a bathroom - anywhere to fall apart in peace.

“And another three for Bueckers! Unbelievable!”

The crowd is on their feet as I jog backwards on the court, sneakers squeaking against the hardwood. 29 point game. Ever since the breakthrough game against Seattle Storm I’d been a different player, dropping at least 20 points each night. Chris had finally understood what I needed to be coached. Tough love. It’s what Geno did to make me great. It’s what I needed.

“And the Wings win, defeating the Mystics on their home court!”

I jog back to Chris, my teammates ruffling my hair to congratulate me on another great game. Me and Arike had quickly become an increasingly efficient pair, already being praised all over. The chemistry between us had grown immensely and I truly felt like she was already a sister to me. I had become comfortable wearing Dallas colours, the jersey fitting me just right.

But even with the adrenaline pumping and the crowd roaring I could feel the tightness in my chest and the stirring in my stomach. I could feel it, Izara’s eyes on me, watching for every move. It killed me not to look her way. It wasn’t a punishment or some sort of childish game (though I was known for the silent treatment I gave to those who upset me). I just couldn’t sort through my emotions. Hurt, anger, betrayal, confusion - all of those had been stirring in my mind all night, made their way into my dreams and haunted me even while I slept. It all concluded only to a single question: Why didn’t she tell me?

I had all of this wrong from the start. We were never what I thought we were. It never meant anything to her. That was the only answer I could find. That me, Paige Bueckers, who would die for this girl was nothing more than a rebound. Just something to get her mind off things until she returned back to England, just an experiment until she’d go back to Jasper. Normally I wouldn’t have minded. I get to love on a pretty girl without attachment for a few months before getting the chance to get sick of them? That would’ve been heaven to me even just six months prior. But Izara was different. Izara was everything.

“Paigey!” Aaliyah smiles wide as she approaches me, wrapping me into a tight, sweaty hug.

“Liliiii,” I grin, resting my head on the taller girl’s shoulder. She had hit me with a nasty block, making me tumble down hard in the second quarter but all was forgotten now. It was strange not sharing a jersey or a team with her, but playing against her was nearly as much fun.

“Baby rookie!”

“Yo I’m older than you,” I groan, pushing her off me. She laughs, wiping the sweat off her arms.

“That was a good game,” Lili laughs, squeezing my shoulders. “Looks like you’ve been in the weight room finally.”

“Bro,” I groan, shaking her off lightheartedly. “You wanna come to dinner later? Whole team’s going.”

“Sure,” Aaliyah smiles looking at me for a while. “Look at us huh,” she sighs, smoothing over the Mystics jersey sitting on her body.

“Crazy huh,” I repeat almost sadly, the nostalgia of our days playing at UConn together, the ease of it.

“Who you think Geno was rooting for?”

I scoff. “The Wings, I got him a natty,” I say like it’s obvious. Aaliyah rolls her eyes, grinning slightly.

“Whatever, I know he missed me last season.”

“We all missed you,” I chuckle, sitting down on the bench behind Chris. The taller girl follows me, taking a seat beside mine.

“So, I heard you got a girl?”

My cheeks flush red, a lump in my throat growing at the reminder of Izara. I chew on my lower lip before kissing my teeth, leaning back.

“Uhh, where’d you hear that?”

“KK told me, said you’re in love,” Aaliyah chuckles, poking my bare knee. I smile, of course she did.

“It’s a little, uh, complicated I guess,” I mumble, looking around to make sure no one was in earshot. “Ion know if I’m made for that shit right now.”

“Ion know if you’re made for that at all. It takes work,” Lili laughs, throwing her head back to chug some water. “And talking. You’ve never been good at that.”

Immediately, my eyes glance away onto the court, my head turning to avoid her words. I open my mouth to protest, but stay quiet. She’s right. Even yesterday, even with how much I cared for Izzie, I had no desire to hear her out or to talk it through. To me it might as well be over.

“Miss, we’re here,” the cab driver wakes me from restless sleep, my head leaning against the window. I rub my eyes, glancing at the view of the very familiar front doors of my home building in the scorching afternoon sun. The early flight back home had been just as awkward as the 24 hours before, me and Paige doing everything to avoid each other. It’s funny, it seemed as if we were just as bad at hiding our wrath as we were hiding our relationship. If you could even call it that. I suppose it never was.

Everyone seemed to be aware of the tension between us, Amanda, my assistant producer offering to do content with Paige for me, Arike trying to make it better and get me to come to dinner with the team. It seemed everyone wanted to make it right for us. Even Twitter was filled with rumours of our falling apart based merely on a video where Paige walks by me without touching, or even glancing my way. I never even realised what a rare occurrence that was.

As I step out of the cab, Paige’s one pulls up to right behind mine. I watch as the blonde girl climbs out, grabbing her bags from the trunk while my driver lifts the heavy suitcase for me. It seemed ridiculous, the entire way our cars trailing one another yet we refused to take the same one. I suppose I better get used to it, that this is what it will be like for the rest of the season in Dallas.

I lift my sunglasses onto my head, pushing back my dark curls. Paige is in basketball shorts and a UConn T-shirt, clearly nostalgic from getting to see Aaliyah yesterday. I watch as she lifts the strap of her bag over her head, letting it fall onto her shoulder before adjusting her glasses. The shirt is tight on her arms and upper back, the muscle weight she’d gained in the past couple months already apparent on her slim build. I liked to think I had something to do with that, with the way I was feeding that girl on the daily.

My green eyes practically stare, the cab driving away though I barely notice. Still, she won’t budge, won’t look my way. As if I don’t exist the girl grabs her bags and walks into the building, the red mark on her neck faded but still a cruel reminder of how unlovable I actually was.

Holding back tears I soon follow after, giving Paige enough time to get inside before entering the elevator. I press on the fifth floor, adjusting the cream coloured sweater hanging loosely on my body, revealing the tan on my right shoulder. I couldn’t believe she was acting like this. I thought I meant more - she certainly had made it seem so. Like I meant everything. And she gave up this quickly?

Anger seethes beneath my skin, bubbling and replacing the sadness. Who does she think she is to treat me like this? Just sleeping with some other girl? Not even letting me explain? Not being mature enough to tell me it’s over? She at least owed me that. I needed her to look me in the eye and tell me.

The elevator doors slide open on the fifth floor. My floor. But I don’t step out, my finger reaching to spam the button with the large six on it, impatiently tapping my foot waiting for the elevator to move again.

The moment the doors open again I’m stepping out, my suitcase getting yanked with me. I beeline to Paige’s apartment, pounding on the wood of her door. No answer. She was pretending to not be home. As if I just didn’t see her five minutes ago.

“Paige!” I yell, overcome with anger enough to forget all my inhibitions or to care about the other neighbours. “Paige Madison!”

I keep knocking on the door, my knuckles turning red against the wood. “Paig-”

Finally it opens, the blonde standing there dumbfounded, a towel hanging off her waist and her upper body only covered in a sports bra.

“You crazy?” She says, only irritating me more.

“Now you listen to me okay Paige Bueckers,” I start, brows furrowed in anger. “I do not know who you think you are, but you can not treat me like this. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. I really am. But you didn’t even give me a chance to explain! What, you just throw me to the side that easy? Make me think I actually matter and then at the first adversity you run and go fuck some other girl like I’m nothing to y-”

“Woah, woah, what?” Paige asks, tightening the towel around her waist. “Whatchu talking bout some girl?”

I scoff and cross my arms over my chest, nodding towards the tall blonde. “You think I’m stupid too? Everyone can see your neck.”

“My neck?”

Paige’s brows furrow as she touches the skin on the red mark, rubbing it, eyes widening in realisation. “This is from my bag, the strap made it red.”

Suddenly I feel dumbfounded, stupid even. My ears turn red as I look around, a nice older couple from upstairs making their way down the staircase slowly. Paige and I smile awkwardly at them, the blonde sighing and nodding her head.

“Come inside Iz,” she sighs.

Exhaling loudly, I shake my head, still way too angry. “No. You’re lying. You weren’t home the other night, I tried knocking. Or were you just ignoring me? Like you’re some sort of child?”

“I was at Rike’s and Lala’s.”

“Bullshit.”

“Ask them,” Paige says matter of factly, grabbing her phone from the side table. “Go ‘head.”

I don’t even touch the phone, mostly because I don’t want to be proven wrong in front of her. So I divert.

“Why are you acting like this?” I ask, annoyed.

Paige chuckles bitterly, rolling her eyes and grabbing the door. “I’ma go shower, Ion got time for this.”

A jolt runs through my chest, making my hand grab the door handle. I knew her enough to know her annoyance was only covering up for the hurt I caused.

“Paige,” I sigh, looking up at her with pleading eyes. “I’m sorry. Please, let me explain. Please.”

The blonde throws her head back, looking up at the ceiling. She takes her time contemplating.

“I dunno,” she mumbles, almost like to herself. “Not much you could say.”

“Let me try,” I offer softly, begging to God she’d look back at me.

“Ion like being played with,” she suddenly replies, voice breaking just enough to hear. “Don’t wanna be a rebound or something. Some sorta experiment or some shit like that Iz, I just, I don’t want that.”

“It’s not like that, just let me come in Paige.”

Finally, the blonde lets go of the door, turning her back on me and walking into the bedroom. I step in, dragging my suitcase with me. Enough adrenaline pumped through my veins that I couldn’t feel the exhaustion in my body.

Soon she emerges, sweatpants replacing the towel around her waist. I stand awkwardly by the entrance, as if I hadn’t been nearly living in this apartment the last month or so. Wordlessly, I follow the taller girl into the living room, both of us taking seats on the opposite sides of the couch.

The silence that falls upon us is filled with tension and regret, the steady hum of the AC and quiet sounds of the road somewhere below making its way inside. She still won’t look at me, and it’s breaking my heart.

“Paige-”

“You were engaged?” She interrupts me.

I swallow, before nodding. “I was.”

Paige licks her lips, nodding too. “You left him?”

“Couple weeks before I flew in.”

She takes a deep breath, mulling it over in her head.

“And I was just sumn fun to do, right?”

“Wh- no. Why would you think that?”

“Just sumn to fuck around with,” she adds sternly, not interested in answering my questions. I’m quiet, chewing on my lower lip.

”No, Paige-”

“Some sorta experiment before you got back to your straight girl life in London?”

“Fuck you.”

I get up from the couch, heavy steps walking towards the door, my heartbeat loud in my ears. It’s making me dizzy, the blood rushing all over my body.

“You’re just leaving ‘cause you know I’m right,” Paige follows me, her voice angry.

I turn to her, tears burning in my eyes, pooling over my dark bottom lashes turning them wet and black. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to find out!” I yell. My voice sounds strange, strained, angry. I never yelled. But something about it felt almost good. It was liberating to not think.

“Find out what?” Paige spews back, blue eyes watching me standing by the front door. The distance between us felt a million miles away. “That I mean nothing to you?”

“That I’m unlovable!”

The truth crashes into us like a wave against rocks on a shore, leaving only silence in its wake, as if we’re both drowning beneath it. My blue eyes lock into her green ones as they suddenly fill with tears. A tender pain pulses in my chest as Izara breaks down in front of me, crouching on the floor as her petite hands cover over her crying face. But she can’t hide the sniffles and quiet sobs escaping her mouth.

Guilt washes over me. What was I thinking? Why did I say any of that? I dig my blunt fingernails into the palms of my hands, trying to distract myself from my heavy conscience. Did she really feel like that? It was hard to believe that Izzie, perfect, mature, funny, kind, generous Izzie could ever feel like that about herself. It made no sense to me.

“Hey,” I mumble. My voice now is soft and comforting, a stark contrast from before. I walk over to the crouching girl, sliding down the wall onto the ground right by her. The anger I felt for the past few days simmered away as quickly as it arrived. “Izzie.”

My fingertips reach for the skin on her arm, brushing against it gently. Finally, Izzie lowers the hands covering her face, lifting her gaze to look at me. Her face is puffy and red, long dark lashes wet.

”Why would you say that?” I ask, my heart breaking at the thought that she really feels this way.

Izzie laughs in a self-deprecating manner, shrugging. ”It’s true.”

I shake my head. ”It’s not.”

”See, that’s the problem,” Iz sighs, running her hands through her dark hair and staring at the floor. ”You put me on a pedestal. You think too highly of me. I’m not that person. I’m not the person you think I am.” Her voice is breaking, words coming in between deep breaths to calm herself down.

”You gotta gimme a lil more credit than that,” I say.

Izzie shakes her head, wiping the snot off her nose. ”I just fooled you like I’ve fooled everyone. But Jasper knew. Yeah he was awful but I deserved it. Because I’m awful too.”

”Whoa, no Iz, don’t say that baby. Never say that.”

”It’s true,” she cries softly, green eyes staring at her own hands. ”I’m controlling and particular and I don’t know how to compromise and I can’t handle change in plans or routine, I need to plan the foods I eat a week in advance for crying out loud!”

”And I love all those things about you,” I’m quick to reply because it’s true. ”Iz you’re not a bad person.”

”I am.”

”No, Jasper just got you fucked up ma, that’s not you at all.”

”He’s the only person who ever knew all of me,” she sniffles, wiping her dark hair off her face.

”Then show me Iz,” I plead, eyes locked on her face. ”I wanna know all of you.”

Izara shakes her head, finally glancing at my eyes. ”No, you’ll hate me.”

”I could never hate you,” I mumble, heart aching so badly I can’t help myself when I wrap my arms around the girl and pull her onto my lap. She lets me, resting her head in the crook of my neck as she sobs into it. I hold her like that, rubbing her hair and back, comforting her on the cool floors of my apartment. My faded grey UConn shirt becomes wet with Izzie’s tears but it’s okay. It’s the least of my worries.

”I mean it Iz, I just wanna know you,” I reassure her, whispering into her hair. ”Could never push me away baby.”

”I’m just scared,” she finally admits, pulling back to look at me. Our gazes meet, and I feel a strange jolt of something stronger than I've ever felt for anyone rushing through my body. It feels strange, but good, whatever it is.

”I’m sorry I didn’t tell you Paige. I was just scared that you wouldn’t want me like that. I’m just someone’s damaged goods-”

”Don’t say that shit. I want you, Ion care about your past. Wanna make this work with you.”

Izzie swallows, licking her lips before leaning in for a gentle kiss. I feel as if I can finally exhale, tasting her salty tears on her lips.

”Me too,” Iz murmurs against my lips. ”I’m done being scared.”

For a moment far too short we merely kiss, making up for the lost couple days until Izzie pulls back again.

”Wh- what will we do when, you know, the season ends?”

Oh right. The dreaded question that had been haunting me ever since I realised I couldn’t bare life without her.

”We can do long-distance for a bit, money isn’t gonna be a problem so we can just fly back and forth, right?” I suggest carefully.

Izzie’s listening to me wide eyed, hanging onto every word.

”And then, I dunno, Linda really likes you. I’m sure you could get your job back next year. I mean if you want.”

”Yeah, maybe,” she nods. ”She does like me.”

Who wouldn’t?

I smile down at the girl, a grin growing onto my face at my thoughts. ”We could also just run away and get married. Getchu that visa ma.”

Izara laughs (and I think finally), slapping my arm playfully.

”You’re such a lesbian,” she giggles and I nod proudly.

”So are you mama,” I grin. ”With the way you’ve been eating pussy I’ma say just as much as me.”

”Paigeuh!” She gasps, sitting up on my lap. ”Besides, no one loves eating pussy like you do.”

”Mm, that’s right,” I smirk, pulling her into a kiss. Izara giggled against my mouth, the vibrations sending jolts to my heart. ”Lemme eat you.”

”Stoppp,” the pearls of her laughter echo around the apartment as I kiss on her neck, nibbling it playfully.

With a struggle, I get us both up from the floor, carrying the girl to my bed with ease. She pulls me on top of her with a needy whine, kissing me lovingly. I hold her carefully, like she’s made of frail porcelain, my hands brushing against her sides.

Izzie pulls away to breathe, fluttering her green eyes at me. I feel like I could burst. The idea that she genuinely felt unlovable broke my heart. I had to convince her otherwise. Make her see what I saw. My sweet, beautiful, kind and hard headed girl.

”Paige?” Iz whispers, her nails brushing against the back of my neck causing goosebumps to rise.

”Yeah baby?”

”Am I your girlfriend?”

Time stops, much like my heart, a shaky exhale involuntarily spilling out.

”D-do you want to be?” I ask carefully, my voice hoarse.

”I don’t want to force you in-” she stutters

”I want you to be my girlfriend Izara.”

taglist:@wbbgetsmewetter@thaatdigitaldiary@pb524830@bueckersfive@lupinqs@sierrale8ne@d3arapril@lovegalor333@avvwritesstufff@rosemariiaa@bueckers22@taylynbueckers44@unadulteratedcyclepaper@rizzlerbuckets@wosolipa@bridgetloveswomen@paiges-1vur@slut4uconnwbb@xxloveralways14@bueckersbitch@janaelalfysblunt@omg-imtumbling@angryflowerwitch@ohbueckers @enchantingesme @ohmybueckers @potatobears-world @st4yyyy @wnbawag @maryjanewatsons @naeswrrldd @she-is-my-unrequited-love34 @paige05bby @paigebaby5

#so it goes #lilas writing yaps #paige bueckers x oc #paige bueckers x reader #paige bueckers x smut #paige bueckers fanfic #paige bueckers fic #wlw x reader #wnba x oc

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alchemistc · 1 month ago

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"Dispatch, can you get me on a channel with Firefighter Buckley?"

As a rule Tommy doesn't listen to dispatch when it doesn't involve him, but 217 has been grounded for an hour now. They've been huddled around Donato's phone watching the news, but Tommy's been too busy texting.

If he gets a chance, he'll thank Evan for being such a prolific texter - his thumbs are used to this particular workout, at this point.

The voice that comes over the line isn't one he should be hearing, he thinks to himself. He doesn't know Maddie well, but he can hear the emotion in her voice. What the hell is she doing fielding calls?

"Firefighter Pilot Kinard?"

Is Tommy making up the relief he can hear mixed in with the rest?

God, like it matters.

"Roger, dispatch."

There's a hush from the other end. Words Tommy can't make out. A cleared throat, and he's far enough away from the group that no one has noticed him fastening his belt, but they'll sure as hell notice when he turns the thing on.

He wonders how quickly they'll fire him. While he's still in the air?

"I'm patching you through, Tommy."

So they're all getting fired, most likely.

The ones that survive, anyway.

He dashes that thought far the fuck away just in time to hear the crackle of the comm. He doesn't waste his breath.

"Firefighter Buckley, what's your location?"

He knows too much. Every line of communication he has in this moment can be traced back, investigated. He hopes like hell Jesse isn't stripped of his bars for giving Tommy quite so much information.

Evans voice is... not good. He sounds about mid panic attack.

"I - I'm - there's a -."

Fuck it. They're all gonna be lucky if they're not black bagged and sent to a secure facility. "Evan, can you get to the roof?"

"Uh - the...?" In the span of a moment, he seems to gather himself. "Yeah - yes. I can - but - Tommy -." He doesn't seem to know what to say, beyond that. Tommy doesn't either. He can't exactly blame Evan. That's half his family, in there.

"I'll be the one in the bright yellow helicopter," Tommy says, and tries not to spend too much time thinking about the choked laugh that crackles through the line.

"I, uh - I'll keep an eye out."

Tommy reaches for the array, and catches sight of Melton halfway across the tarmac. Hands on hips, rolling his jaw. They're going to take his wings, for this.

Tommy couldn't give fewer fucks. Everyone in that building has saved his life, in one way or another.

The bird flares to life.

"I'll keep the line open," Tommy says. "If anything changes, you'll be the first to know."

He runs the risk of getting shot out of the fucking sky while Evan listens in, but that doesn't feel like the most pressing issue, at the moment.

"O - okay." Evan sounds winded, like he's already moving. "Okay."

"Okay," Tommy says, and reaches for the cyclic.

#bucktommy #bucktommy fic #tevan fic #911 spoilers #not calling this one spec because theres no way this is how it goes down

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sir-myst-cake · 3 months ago

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First post on here and it's a rant!! If you want more cool takes you should totally follow me as I'll be posting here more often and have totally cool art to share‼️‼️

I'm not completely sure how to tag this? I'm talking about the ships in a positive light so I think it's okay, and besides, I want lots of peeps to see it, I'm aware I probably won't change many people's minds at all, but it's okay lol, I just want Anti's to see they genuinely have a nothing burger and need to leave people alone.

This is a mostly TikTok only problem regarding Beast x Ancient's (thank god) but I've seen my fair share elsewhere like on here. So lemme counter every argument I've seen so far cause you got a lot of time on your hands to be telling people to off themselves over Cookie ships 😭 put that hate into people who actually deserve it.

BILLFORD COMPARISON

Regarding ShadowVanilla specifically, people have compared the ship a lot from both sides, but what really got me is what I've seen here:

"Shadow Milk Cookie is way worse than Bill! He drove Pure Vanilla to insanity! He tortured him!"- This is in regards to how people bring up the fact Anti's are fine with one thing but not the other when it's basically the same thing they're against. Psychological, physical, mental, and emotional torture. I'll be honest I haven't watched Gravity Falls whatsoever, but my friend has, and from what she says, yeah Bill is the definition of a cruel and unusual punishment. He's done some crazy things, absolutely heinous, might even be a little worse than Shadow Milk or on the same level, either way though-

You can't like one thing and then not the other, it's different flavors of the same thing, it's hypocritical. Either you hate them both or you hate neither.

"Those are 2 different fandoms!"- Doesn't matter, it's the same thing, just different media, it's not different whatsoever aside from the universe, there's much torture involved on both ends.

ABUSER X VICTIM

This one I've seen A LOT and I'm just ??

"If you ship Beast x Ancient's you support Abuser x victim btw"- That's a STRETCH. You are reaching FAR. Nobody is romanticizing the abuse, nobody is normalizing it, it's stuff that happened in canon and we acknowledge it but nobody is doing any of that other stuff. I'm not condoning anyone in real life to do that shit lol. It's called exploring, they have an interesting dynamic, romantic or platonic, two sides of the same coin. You can say the same thing about horror movies, they put a lot of disturbing stuff in there. Do the movie producers CONDONE any of that stuff? Obviously not. Goes for Devsisters too, they don't condone body mutilation yet they still made Burning Spice rip off Cheese's wings.

But even so, for the people who DO like it for the angst, I won't say fiction doesn't affect reality because it does in many cases, but this isn't one of them. Not every relationship is going to be peachy and perfect, just like in real life. I can give an example on this one too actually.

GoldenLily, they aren't condoning what Lily (technically) did to Golden Cheese's kingdom, but they like it for all the potential, complicated feelings and emotions that come along with it.

Also, that's basically the same thing with Beasts x Ancients, just turn it around to enemies to lovers.

"This isn't Villain x hero, this is abuser x victim"- Are you saying MOST of media is abuser x victim then? This is in fact a typical hero x Villain trope, it's nothing new. Respectfully, you guys freak out when a Villain does villain stuff, I'd be surprised if there was a villain who DIDN'T cause any trauma for the opposing party. But according to this logic, media is just dead, no more fanfiction, no more what ifs, no more content since it's all apparently problematic and not canon. Even if somebody switches stuff up in an AU, and makes things completely fluffy, that's apparently still not enough.

"oh you had to make an AU to ship them because you know it's toxic"- No, it's just playing around with scenarios. Learn to separate fanon from canon. This specifically goes for the redeemed AU's I see of the Beasts, people still complain, they act as if people can't change. One of the biggest examples I have of that is FlutterCord, Discord did plenty of messed up things, but in the end, he still managed to change. You'll still get burned at the stake for it though.

"You must be an abuser yourself to condone this!!"- Extremely disrespectful and a WILDDD take. Need I say more??

"I ship Beast x Beast rather than Beast x Ancient's"- According to your logic, the Beasts are abusers right? And if we followed the same story, they are not mentally well whatsoever. You'd rather ship 2 dangerously mentally unstable characters together who'd just make each other worse? Destroy each other? Fuck each other up beyond belief? It doesn't make sense does it, nor is it fair for y'all to praise these ships but hate on the others. You like watching the cookies crumble huh 😭

CANON

"The ship isn't canon!"- We know that, everyone should know that. With what I said earlier, please learn to separate fanon from canon. That's what a fandom is, we do non-canon stuff, it's very fun, you should try it.

"It's a Proship/Dark ship!"- Going the canon route, Beasts are Eons old, Ancients are thousands of years old. Big gap yes, but nonetheless all of them are old as fuck. Older than bloodlines. Treating the Ancients as if they aren't grown adults. You're intentionally trying to make it weird. Stop calling ships you don't like proships please.

Also a little off topic but please don't listen to everyone you interact with on TikTok?? I remember one time I was scrolling through a comment section and saw somebody say "Doesn't Mystic Flour Cookie hate Burning Spice Cookie?" On a MysticSpice vid, looked in the replies, somebody asked for proof/where it was implied, and they didn't answer 💀 just blatantly spreading misinformation. Sources around you are way more reliable than people who don't back up their claims.

CONCLUSION

Even despite all this, you still have the right to feel how you wanna feel. Just please stop harassing people for simple stuff like this, in all honesty, I feel like it's more about seeing one of your favorite characters shipped with somebody who hurt them in canon that makes peeps upset. Which I can totally understand because I used to be exactly like that, I LIVEEEE for Dark Cacao Cookie, when Mystic Flour's update came out, I wanted her dead. Quite literally blocked someone because I couldn't stand seeing their MysticCao art. Hated what she did to my baby boy fr.

But then It started growing on me, over time, I just realized it was never that serious.

Even so, notice how I still didn't go out of my way to harass said person about it because I specifically didn't like it? It really is that easy. Block and go about your day.

I also suspect this because of stuff like this 💀

Love that person who replied, but it's not that hard y'all. We all can in fact, get along.

ANYWAYSSSS thanks to those who took the time read, I love you my pookies hope you have a good day or night💕💕

#cookie run kingdom #shadowvanilla #burningcheese #mysticcacao #silentlily #pureshadow #hollysugar #beast x ancient #type shit

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burr-ell · 4 months ago

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re: bh never having faced consequences, what are some moments/things they've done you think there should've been consequences for? i'm asking because i've realized these past couple episodes that i also fear they won't face any consequences for this, but i haven't been able to pinpoint why i feel that way yet

I don't think the answer is that they've done things that demand consequences so much as it is that a lot of elements of this campaign just don't coalesce or feel like they matter. Things feel important and relevant and cool in the moment and then don't get any kind of followup, nor do they have a meaningful impact on the characters. So much of this story falls to the wayside with no followup, if it doesn't have the wind taken out of it altogether.

A lot of plot points wind up mattering more to the fandom than they do to the characters—even good arcs, like the events of the party split arc, don't seem to have left much of an impact. There are fans who still bring up Hearthdell as a point against the gods or Vasselheim, but Bell's Hells have barely mentioned it if at all since episode 65. Laudna derides it as a "pissant town" with "pissant squabbles" and is far less interested in the village and its people than she is in her own trauma and feelings about the Titans. Ashton only brings up what happened there because they're still sore about being judged by an angel. There's still a chance that they call out Vasselheim's leadership for the whole mess, but at no point during Ashton's rant to the Exandrian Accord did they ever reference the blatant encroachment and attempt at a land grab. Molaesmyr fares little better; Chetney is the only character who ever brings it up, and when he does it's in the context of rattling Ludinus personally—a point that only he ever presses, even though Imogen and Fearne were also there. The fandom has been debating off and on about how much the nature of Predathos itself can be linked to Molaesmyr's destruction, but nothing has canonically explained it one way or the other, in part because the rest of the Hells just aren't interested.

It's also that lack of interest that leads to major NPC villains that are almost completely irrelevant to the story. It does not ultimately matter that one of Ludinus's generals is Otohan Thull or that the Malleus Key was defended by Ozo Cruth. The audience doesn't really know who they are, and they don't know because the party had no reason to care and didn't try to get one. Matt has indicated that there's a story to Otohan that will likely be revealed in a campaign wrap-up, and the same is probably true for Ozo, but in the actual story, all they are to the audience is a couple of overtuned stat blocks with swords, and the characters they killed might as well have been gutted by a pit fiend for all it mattered. About the only death that has any narrative resonance is FCG's, and it feels less like they sacrificed themself to kill Otohan and more like the story had to lose an interesting and engaging character to get rid of Otohan.

Even returning antagonists don't escape; both Ludinus Da'leth and Delilah Briarwood, important villains from their original campaigns, have been done a great deal of disservice in this one. Ludinus peaked in episode 51; his gambit with Vax and Keyleth was great, but the longer he got to keep monologuing, in a campaign already full of talking in circles about the same issue, the more insufferable he became. Even his death, karmic as it was, is cheapened by the almost-immediate implication that he's got a way to come back, which might make sense mechanically but is utterly exhausting narratively. Delilah, on the other hand, could have been replaced by an original character and nothing of value would have been lost; there's potential in an undead warlock whose patron is their own murderer, but any of the emotional juice of that story is outweighed both by how tiresome the pacing is and how overreliant it is on maudlin imagery and nostalgia for the original Briarwood arc. We don't learn about why Delilah is here or what her specific goals are until episode 77, 40 episodes after the party confronted her directly and gave her an opportunity to explain herself that she did not take. The corruption arc, again, had potential, but fizzled out as soon as a level 20 wizard dropped the soul anchor solution into their laps, with little actual impact on Laudna herself.

The actual player characters have, for the most part, barely substantively changed. Chetney has solved the mechanical problem of not being able to control his werewolf transformations and he does push big red buttons when no one else will, but he isn't really moving anywhere as a character. Laudna continues to do everything in her power to bounce back to the old kooky fun-scary bit from episode 1 every time anything interesting happens to her. FCG did actually have a great arc with an incredibly heartfelt and moving conclusion, but is no longer a meaningful part of the narrative and the party's grief over their death was not given the space to breathe that it warranted. Fearne has matured a bit over the course of the campaign but is still largely just as aimless and go-with-the-flow as she was in the beginning. Imogen, at the very least, started to take something close to an actual stance on the gods and what to do about Predathos, but every time she has to make a choice, she continues to ask someone else what she should do and then hem and haw when she's told it's her decision. Orym has finally let himself lean on someone else, but has otherwise remained static. Ashton had a very promising arc after failing to absorb the shard, but has since regressed into doing the exact thing they called themself out for doing: looking for someone to blame and wanting to feel like they were robbed. Moments like Shardgate and Swordgate, which in any other campaign would have been major watersheds, have become functionally irrelevant for all the impact they've had on the actual characters.

The elephant in the room here, of course, is Imogen and Laudna's relationship, which has been a millstone around the campaign's neck from the beginning. Shippers have accused critics of being motivated by bigotry, but the arguments deconstructing it are ultimately rooted in this very same issue: nothing that happens to them truly seems to matter. This is intertwined with the issues with Delilah, because every time Imogen and Laudna actually run into any sort of conflict or difficulty, it has something to do with that plot thread: Delilah broke the gnarlrock; Delilah was reawakened when Laudna killed Bor'dor and Laudna was extremely upset and traumatized about it; and Delilah was the one Laudna was listening to when she tried to steal and absorb Otohan's sword. All of those conflicts fizzled out as soon as the immediate surface issue was resolved: Imogen dropped the gnarlrock issue entirely; Imogen kissed Laudna and insisted that she couldn't be a bad person for killing Bor'dor, and Laudna completely dropped the subject; and Imogen, as soon as Delilah was sealed in the soul anchor, immediately took Laudna back after less than a day of mild distance and they went off to have makeup sex. It feels less like their love is so strong it can overcome any conflict and more like they retreat to the same way their relationship was before as soon as they possibly can. Even starting a romance doesn't seem to materially change anything.

There's no interest in unpacking anything that could cause a problem, either. Laudna canonically has no issue with Imogen floating the idea of siding with the Vanguard, even though it was a Vanguard general who killed Laudna in the street to get to Imogen; in fact, she refuses to take a hard stance for or against Imogen joining Predathos because she doesn't want to "hold Imogen back from her destiny". Prior to Laudna attempting to take the sword, Imogen told her explicitly "if you need [Delilah], then that's my answer"—and then instead of addressing that, Imogen blames herself for Laudna giving into Delilah by wondering if she should have given into her own toxic influence so at least Laudna wouldn't be alone. At no point have they ever had a difficult conversation about any of their underlying issues, like the actual material harm Laudna has done to herself or others or the fact that both Imogen and Laudna have repeatedly tossed aside their actual needs in favor of maintaining their status quo of unending support and presence in each other's lives. They both just attribute responsibility to someone or something else and continue to swear that they'll always be there for one another—just like every other conversation they've ever had. There's no challenge and no movement, not from them or from anyone else; nothing has ever upset the idea that this story could be anything less than idyllic, no matter the increasing evidence to the contrary.

A common refrain for a very long time, and perhaps one still around in some circles, was a desire for Character A and Character B to "finally talk", and not without reason. In previous campaigns, A and B probably would have talked. This, however, is a campaign centering on profoundly incurious characters with a narrative that is disinterested in those characters becoming genuinely invested in its setting or each other beyond a bare surface level. Of course they won't face any consequences for releasing Predathos when they didn't need to, nor will they face consequences for not communicating their incredibly risky and contentious plan ahead of time. Why would they? It won't matter. Nothing in this story matters, and that's the entire problem.

#critical role #cr discourse #cr meta #long post #asks #honestly i think vox machina and the mighty nein have faced more consequences this campaign than bell's hells ever will

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ariesangelxo · 1 year ago

Text

mornings - part two

MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI

cw: more angst, still no comfort (i promise it’s coming in the next part), heartbreak, one mention of panic attacks, prescription benzo use, recreational coke use, drinking, arguing, mention of a gun and a gunshot at the end, not proofread lol

an: thank u all SO SO much for all of the love on part one !!! i am blown away and in awe. there also will be a part three for sure <3

part three

the past twenty-six days had not been kind to you. your mornings were spent rotting away in bed until your mom would force you to get up, her expression of concern always made you feel even worse. your days weren’t much better, you forced yourself to detach from your heart and numb your emotions. it was the only way you knew how to keep going. you put on a mask during the day with your parents, giving them occasional smiles and laughs that weren’t the kind that warmed their hearts. they knew you weren’t okay, but they also knew they couldn’t force you to talk about it or you’d shut down completely. your nights consisted of taking a benzodiazepine in order to fall asleep, you couldn’t sleep without them. you tried, it only led to intense panic attacks and hysterical sobs that made your mother’s heart break in front of you.

this morning had been a bit different. you were awakened when you felt a weight in your bed, and in the haze of waking up you initially thought it was rafe. you shot up the moment you remembered everything, eyes widening and heart racing, but you looked over to see sarah in your bed. "oh my god, sarah you scared the hell out of me!" you exclaimed, holding a hand over your chest.

she let out a giggle, "i'm sorry, your mom let me in. i miss you," her tone was gentle. you had become very close with sarah during your relationship with rafe. being over at the cameron's house so often led to a beautiful friendship forming between the two of you. she was like a sister to you, something you cherished deeply as you didn't grow up with a sister.

you felt a pang of guilt in your chest at her words. you knew she missed you, she'd messaged you every single day since your break up without fail, even if you didn't always text back. you had seen her a couple times, but when she asked about what happened, you told her you weren't ready to talk about it. sarah was incredibly understanding, knowing how much you loved her brother and not wanting to push you too far.

"i miss you too, sar. i'm sorry i've been such a shit friend lately." you responded to her. you gave her a small smile, curling up next to her as she sat against your headboard.

"it's okay, i know you're not doing great with everything going on right now," she trailed off with a sad smile, "but, you're going out with me tonight!" she became animated as she spoke.

you didn't have it in your heart to deny her, not when she looked at you like you were the most important person in her world. "you know i can't say no to you. where are we going?" you asked curiously.

"there's going to be a huge party at the boneyard, and you're coming with me. no ifs, ands, or buts." she giggled out, "i need to get you out of your room, you're rotting away in here, babe."

"god, you sound just like my mother," you teased back. "i'll go though, i miss you more than you know. i even miss the pogues a bit." you both laughed, referencing her newer relationship with john b.

you couldn't prevent your curiosity from getting the better of you, "how- how has he been?"

sarah bit her lip, debating internally how much to tell you. "he's been... not great. i don't see him much when i'm home, he's usually in his room with the door shut. he's been a lot more moody too, snapping at literally everyone in the house. it probably didn't help that i told him he's an idiot and he fucked up the best thing to ever happen to him."

you couldn't suppress the laugh that slipped through your lips or the slight satisfaction you felt knowing that you weren't the only one struggling. "i love you sar. thank you." you leaned over, giving her a hug.

"i love you too. now get your ass up and shower. we're getting you a new outfit for the party."

you spent the next few hours strolling through the streets of figure eight with sarah. your arms held multiple shopping bags, filled with clothes she insisted you needed for tonight. you were incredibly grateful that she had forced you out of bed, you actually felt human for the first time since everything happened.

you found yourself in a small cafe, giggling as sarah told you a story from one of her drunken adventures with the pogues.

“you know… you should talk to jj tonight. i know he thinks you’re hot.” sarah gave you a mischievous smile as she wiggled her brows.

“funny,” you rolled your eyes playfully at her, “but it’s way too soon for me to get into anything with anybody right now.”

“i didn’t mean start dating him, i just think you would have fun together.”

“i just- i don’t know, sar. i’ve been such a wreck these past few weeks… can i tell you what happened?” you looked up from your fingers to meet her eyes, now widened with shock.

“yeah, of course you can. but don’t feel like you have to if you don’t want to.”

you were grateful for her support, going into your explanation of how the last couple months of your relationship, rafe’s behavior changed drastically. sarah hung on to your every word, needing to know exactly what led to the end of your relationship.

“and so i walked into the country club to surprise him. i spent the whole morning getting ready, did my makeup how he likes, even wore a new sundress that i know he would have loved. but i walked in and…” you looked up as your vision began to blur, “he was talking with some bitch i’ve never seen before bartending. she had short brunette hair, but he fucking smirked at her the way he only does- did for me. and- and then, she basically fucking held his hand while she fucked him with her eyes, and he let it happen!”

you spit the words out like they were poison on your tongue, not noticing your voice beginning to raise with frustration. sarah’s jaw was nearly on the floor.

“what the- what the fuck?” she racked her brain, trying to remember if she’d seen anyone matching your description recently, but nothing came to her.

“god, shit. i’m so sorry, babe. i don’t know what the fuck is wrong with him.” she attempted to console you as you dabbed your eyes with a napkin.

you shrugged your shoulders, “what’s done is done. i just want to forget about everything for a while.”

she nodded, “then let’s go get ready. we can pregame at yours and ride with john b and them.”

after a few shots, a couple hours spent transforming yourself to not look like you spent the last three weeks trying to cope with your break up, and a lot of laughter, you and sarah were ready to go.

you wore a cropped loosely crocheted white sweater over your pink bikini and a white miniskirt that hugged your hips , the strings from your bottom peaking out from the top of it. you were finally feeling good about yourself again, and you’d be damned if you let anyone ruin it.

the ride to the boneyard only lifted your spirits more. it was impossible not to laugh around the pogues, especially when jj did whatever he could to hear your giggle.

you arrived just as the party was beginning to pick up. relief flooded your veins when you didn’t see rafe anywhere. you knew it was a possibility he’d be here, but it was going to be significantly easier to have a decent night without his presence lingering around.

you filled up a red solo cup at the keg, downing the cheap alcohol before refilling it.

“slow down there, or you might not make it too long.” jj approached you, giving you a flirty smile.

you gave him a laugh in response, “i’ll be fine, jay. i just want to be able to let loose tonight.”

“stick by me then, don’t want any of these pervs creeping on you.” the thinly veiled concern in his voice made you smile. you know he’s flirting, but it’s clear he wants to keep you safe knowing it’s your first night out in so long.

you spent the next hour surrounded by the pogues, and true to his word, jj looked out for you. he did so well that you failed to notice who had shown up to the party, the one and only rafe cameron.

rafe, on the other hand, saw you immediately upon arriving. it was impossible for him not to when your presence demanded his attention. he was not happy to see who you were hanging around with. his ongoing beef with the pogues was well known by everybody on the island. he didn’t come to party though, he had other business to attend to as barry gave him a side eye, “fuck are you doing, country club? you can fight for your girl later, we’ve got shit to do.”

your drink had somehow disappeared. your furrowed your brows as you looked down, giggling to yourself as you told your friends you were going to get another one. you were at the perfect level of drunk, not to the point of blacking out or vomiting, but to where you couldn’t quite walk in a straight line and everything was funny to you.

you stumbled up to the keg, starting to fill up your cup when you felt someone watching you. the hairs on the back of your neck stood up, you instantly knew who it was. it was as though there was a chip in you that alerted you to when he was nearby. you took a deep breath as you turned your head slightly, seeing rafe sat next to a man you didn’t know as he handed a small plastic bag filled with overpriced coke to a touron. rafe’s eyes didn’t leave you as he signaled him to leave.

you could hear your heartbeat in your ears, the hand holding onto your cup now trembling and the lump in your throat building. rafe stood, starting to approach you as you froze. your brain was screaming at you to run but your body refused to move an inch.

“what the fuck do you want, cameron?” your words were spat out with venom. your tone clearly surprised you both as he looked shocked momentarily. you were typically one to stand your ground, but never ever was your attitude aimed towards him.

“what do you mean ‘what the fuck do i want’? you fucking up and left out of nowhere and haven’t spoken to me in almost a month.” his voice was filled with anger, his nose flaring as he clenched his jaw.

you let out a humorless laugh, “out of nowhere? you can’t be serious, rafe. you treated me like shit the last few months of our relationship.” you didn’t yet mention seeing his interaction with the bartender at the country club, not knowing if topper and kelce had told him about seeing you when you left that fateful day.

“what? be-because i couldn’t be with you twenty-four fucking seven? like i- i wasn’t out working my ass off to afford nice shit for you?”

“‘working your ass off’ will you stop fucking lying to me? i fucking saw you at the country club,” his facial expression showed confusion, bringing his brows together to try and understand what you were talking about, “you let that bitch touch you, you looked at her how you used to look at me. i spent hours getting ready, i showed up, wanting to surprise my boyfriend for lunch, and what do i see? my boyfriend letting some bartender hang off of him while he flirts with her?”

your voice had raised as you got more and more angry. you were now shouting at him as other partygoers failed to hide their stares and murmuring. nobody ever talked to the kook prince the way you currently were, unless they wanted their face bashed in.

rafe grabbed your arm harshly, pulling you down the beach and away from others. you stumbled behind him, knowing you weren’t physically or mentally strong enough to push him away.

when you looked up at him, you suddenly noticed his blown-out pupils. you felt your heart sink. “you’re using again.” you stated flatly.

he scoffed, rolling his eyes at you. “don’t act like you fucking care.” he spat out at you.

“jesus fucking christ- rafe, when did you start again?”

“don’t worry about it. when did you come to the country club?” his tone was demanding, sparking further irritation in you.

“the day i left. i- i let a lot of shit slide for too long, because… because i wanted to be a good girlfriend and support you when i thought you were just stressed out from work. and, in return, i get to watch my boyfriend make me look like a fucking idiot.”

rafe was silent for a minute, his lips pursed as he clearly was trying to remember what he was doing before he came home to an angry ward and an empty room. then realization hit him, he knew exactly what you were talking about. he brought his palm up to his face, groaning.

when he was about to speak, he was cut off. “is cameron bothering you?” jj’s familiar voice called out. you looked past rafe’s large figure to see all of the pogues standing beside him, looking ready for a fight if it came to it.

rafe gave a humorless chuckle, “stay the fuck out of it, pogue.” he clearly wouldn’t go down without a fight either.

your heart stopped for a moment and your body filled with ice cold terror as jj pulled out a gun that was hidden behind his back in his waistband. it was clear you weren’t the only one not expecting it as the rest of them looked at jj with concern, john b telling him to put it away. “yeah? let’s fucking go, rafe. been itching for a fight for too long.”

everything became blurred. the mixture of shouting, seeing figures suddenly moving towards each other, and the unmistakeable sound of a gunshot, and then everything went black.

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littlelovelunette · 2 months ago

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hey, what about an angst/fluff ex lovers to lovers with vi, like it was a looong relationship, but circumstances made them break up, so when reader goes to vi's place to pick up her things, reader also return the promise ring vi gave to her, but vi ask for a second chance, and i mean, who can refuse? its vi

btw, love your work, hope ur okay! 🩷

Happenstance

"It's been nine months we've been together and now you just want to break things off!?" Your eyes were teary, you were angry but you were also sad.

The building emotions caused a storm inside you, you were breaking on the inside but you couldn't let that show. You couldn't let this breakup tear you apart.

"It's just not working, I'm sorry, I really am," Vi said, looking away as she tried to avert her gaze from you but the tears in her eyes told you a different story.

"I can't believe you," you walked out of the door, abandoning all your belongings in Vi's place, all the memories you shared with her. Dancing in the kitchen while you made waffles together. Sitting by the window while the rain splattered on the glass, sharing stories of the past.

All gone, all broken.

All snatched from you.

You didn't know how far you had gotten from Vi, but wherever you were you didn't recognise the neighbourhood. With a small groan, you reached for your phone in your back pocket, calling your sister.

"Hey, Amber... mind if I crash at yours for the night?" You asked, trying to steady your breathing so it didn't seem like you'd been sobbing your heart out.

"Yeah, sure... Have you been crying?" Amber asked, you could hear the car keys jingling on the other side.

"I-It's a long story," was all you could manage, wiping your tears on your sleeve.

"I guess I'll, yeah— I'll pick you up, send me your address and I'll come,"

"Thanks,"

The next day was a blur, you ringed Vi up with the generic "I'll pick my things up at 8," talk but you could've sworn her voice sounded hoarse like she'd been drowning herself in alcohol and her own tears.

But she couldn't have, right? You knew Vi, she was prideful to the point her ego shot right through the troposphere of the planet, she couldn't have.

Thanks to the terrible traffic, you were thirty minutes late to Vi's house. When you turned the doorknob, you realised that the door was already open.

Who leaves their door unlocked? It's like a silent beggery for robbery.

"Vi?" You called but there was no answer to your voice, only a small sniffle that schoed from the room you once shared with the tatted woman.

A small sigh escaped you and you walked to the room, opening the door with quite a loud creak, you peeked inside.

There she was.

Curled up on the floor, hugging a photo frame you both got for your third month anniversary, the carpet soaked with her tears and an empty bottle of God-knows-what brand of alcohol.

"Vi," you walked upto her, fidgeting with the ring she'd given you once promising the eternity of the relationship she had broken due to unavoidable circumstances yesterday.

"You don't get to do this to me," you said slowly slipping the ring off, "You don't get to break up with me and then play victim."

"Oh, sweet baby, I'm so- hic- sorry," Vi looked up, eyes bloodshot and droopy, her blue eyes dulled with the pain of something you couldn't quite register.

"Vi, we can't," you put the ring on the desk, leaning to pick the handle of your suitcase up, "You have to let me go," you attempted to pull at the suitcase but Vi latched onto it like a crazy ex-girlfriend.

Vi let out a broken laugh, one that cracked at the edges, her grip on the suitcase handle tightening as if it were the only thing tethering her to reality.

"No, no, no, please—" she slurred, her voice barely above a whisper yet filled with so much raw desperation that it made your chest tighten. "I—hic—I didn't mean it, baby. I swear, I didn't."

She tried to push herself up but stumbled, landing back on her knees with a pathetic whimper. Tears streamed down her flushed cheeks as she clutched at your sleeve instead, her fingers trembling.

"I love you," she mumbled, burying her face into your arm, her breath reeking of alcohol. "Please, don’t leave me. I—I'll fix it, I'll fix everything. Just—just don’t walk out that door."

"I can't—" her voice cracked, "I can't do this without you. I don't wanna do this without you. Please, please, please, baby, I—I'm sorry."

Her grip loosened just enough for you to step back, but the moment you did, she let out a strangled sob, reaching for you again, her nails digging into the carpet.

"I'll change," she gasped, forehead pressing against the floor. "I'll do anything, just—" a hiccup interrupted her words again, "Just say you’ll stay. Just say you still love me."

"I'm too sober for this," you mumbled before kneeling down to her, hugging her, "I still love you," you mumbled.

"I love you too, please, don't leave," Vi squeezed you tightly for a second.

You heaved a sigh, just when you were about to get your life together after the breakup, Vi wanted to get back together.

You didn't know what would happen after the alcohol wore off but you were tired too, shifting to get comfortable on the floor.

"Have any more of those?"

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acid-ixx · 3 months ago

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Ellooo! I've been a huge fan of your batfam fanfics, was a silent reader til now cuz I wanted to show my appreciation for it by making some fanart of my reader ver in Halloween costume as mabel pines from gravity falls and a reason on why I chose as such! Sorry if this turns out as a long yap session and again love your works! Also warning for spoilers on adventure time if you or other ppl are not that far into it yet or planning to watch!

Okay so my reason for choosig mabel pines is because since this is child reader, i'd like to think she connects with mabel in a more emotional way. (Yes I also see child reader connecting with dipper but we'll talk about that later.) I'd like to think child reader would pick mabel when they still had some hope for getting some attention and once they slowly lost it or was trying to gain some sort of attention from their family is where they'll see how they can also connect a bit more with dipper pines with how dipper tries to get some recognition and appreciation in the show.

I'd like to also think that my ver of child reader rlly likes cartoons like me since I found comfort in them before and now. Other than that, I also like to think that child reader would sometimes go look at some episodes and stare longily at caring, loving or literally any cartoon family that gave off that the parent figure cared for said child character like with Grunkle Stan and the twins or maybe Simon/Ice King with Marceline.

So let's say childs reader is watching a cartoon, whether it's gravity falls, bluey, or maybe adventure time and child reader would to think 'How can a con man (Grunkle Stan) or a broken/insane person (Ice King/Simon) be a better father than mine?'

I dunno I just see it as a possible thing to happen and again I love your works! I can't wait to see more in the future! Also again so sorrry that this lowkey turned into a yap session for me, the idea has been in my head for a while 😓

— masterlist !

holy shit, this is so adorable and the brush strokes up close are so delicious to look at!!! <333 my one artist friend irl pointed out how there's no sparkle in the eyes and i'm like "what if it's intentional because they're traumatized very early on as a child" and they told me it makes a lot of sense and helps with lore development so i abide by that concept now hehe.

and on god, you fanartists are like the backbones of my series because i kid you not, all your personal designs and headcanons of how the reader is slowly becoming canon. and i agree with you, the reader would probably be used to connect with mabel more back when they still had that childlike spark in their eyes— and she'll probably be their favorite twin back when they used to watch cartoons with their mom through the shabby, static screen of their television. and they'll probably cling onto her enthusiasm and charm until it very much gets destroyed and then suddenly you find dipper more favorable—

all because with just how much your rambles about mabel get ignored, with just how much people, like dick, would break his promise of watching the show with you. the only person available would be alfred, and watching shows with him, no matter how short the time allotted may be, or even if you watch it with him well past the hours of midnight, will probably contribute to how much you compare him with the guardian figures in all the cartoon shows you used to watch.

which brings me to one point:

just imagine your family's envy with just how much you associate alfred with positive characters. how often you idolize characters like simon from adventure time, often comparing him to bruce, pointing out all the details on how despite his relationship with marceline turning strained, there will always be a semblance of familial love between them whilst with bruce there's not.

which brings me to another point:

the jealousy that comes to fictional siblings, specifically raggedy anne and andy, my favorite animated movie where one song (candy hearts and paper flowers) caused me to sob a lot. just imagine the absolute yearning you'd have for someone as affectionate as andy was to anne— imagining those soft moments where it would be dick who holds your head close to his heart, or how you'd share moments with jason where it's him who'll fight the monsters away.

all fantasized back when you were a child.

but because i don't want to end this in a negative light, just imagine conner and you on a date night instead, where he helps you discover and embrace the inner childish version of you, watching those shows together clinging onto his jacket and singing along the musical numbers. he'd be a very supportive boyfriend, who also never really grew up, so your lack of childhood development just manifests itself in the form of bonding together, watching animations together no matter how outdated it may be now.

picture damian seething outside your apartment window, his breath fogging up the glass due to the sheer intensity of his jealousy. because it should be him who's watching those shows with you!!! conner's taking up his space, his territory, his time with his sibling: his rightful side with you!

but really, i personally (as an actual neglected child in real life) love and cling onto cartoon shows. i don't have a childhood at all, so i pretty much relive all the old shows i used to watch now as an adult honestly. tysm for sending this in! the lineart, the colors, and the variety of brushes are very crisp and clean!!!

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oh-no-its-bird · 4 months ago

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You are making me EMOTIONAL thinking about baby kakashi losing his teeth and not having his dad around to ask about things now, not even specifically for fang reasons either 😭😭

I think I was late and lost my first took when I was almost seven and idk exactly when Sakumo died officially but. Idk. Something something the tragedy of potentially not even having a parent around to explain what is going on when you lose a tooth for the first time

I'm so glad u sent this actually bc I was thinking ab wanting to write a post ab this premise but wasn't sure how to phrase or start it

Kid Kakashi struggling through starting to lose his baby teeth after his father dies <33

Google tells me that children start losing their baby teeth around 6, and the general age I've seen for Kakashi when Sakumo kills himself is usually around that same number, so, it works out!!

You bring up such a good and fun point actually in just. Does Kakashi know what's happening to him? Has anyone explained to him that your teeth just naturally fall out when you're little?

One day, Kakashi goes to class and sees Obito, who's a few years older than him, bragging about how he "just lost my tooth the other day"

And Kakashi quietly goes to himself, "wow this guy is so bad at fighting, he got his tooth knocked out and he's happy about it. What a weirdo."

Obito is IGNORING the judgmental stares coming from Kakashi's direction, assuming Kakashi is just jealous of his super cool milestone of growing up

Thinking maybe Obito even comes over to try to brag about it, but Kakashi just goes "??? Why are you bragging about losing your teeth ??? God, you're such a freak"

And Obito is like, "I know ur just jealous BAKASHI. Because you are still a BABY while I am on my way to being a MAN"

And inside Kakashi, still deeply confused and weirded out, is like, 'why the fuck would I be jealous' but outloud he just glares and goes, "I've never lost any of my teeth because I never lose."

To which Obito loses his mind because he's like 9 and to a 9 year old that sounded kind of sick and how DARE Kakashi try and be cool about this

(In the background, Minato is well on his way to losing his mind trying not to laugh. Rin meanwhile is squinting and doing mental math as she tries to tell if Kakashi is joking or not)

But anyways like. Kakashi later losing his own teeth and freaking the fuck out about it. Is he sick? Is he dying? Should he go to the doctor?

Oh my god wait ok but Kakashi cornering Rin after a training session and demands she help diagnose him bc he doesn't want to go to the actual doctor or ask Sensei for help. And Kakashi admitting she's a "good med nin" and Rin is kinda going omg Kakashi conpliment,,,, life goals,,

But also like Kakashi thinks he's dying and she's SUPER flattered he thinks she can help but she's like. 10. And a med nin in training.

So she's kind of sweating like "omg what are ur symptoms, why do u think ur dying?"

And Kakashi is like my "fucking teeth are falling out !!!!!!"

And Rin is like "woah that sounds super scary and seriou— Hold on a second."

Kakashi goes as far as to take off his mask to show her, which goes to show how desperate he is rn because he'd usually never do that.

And Rin is torn between being tempted to pinch his cheek and pull at it like it's Mochi and also like. She's struggling SO hard not to laugh at this point because she knows if she does Kakashi will literally never forgive her

So Rin has to break it to Kakashi as gently as she can (and without laughing or cooing at his cute kid naivety) that don't worry, you aren't dying, this is normal

Kakashi doesn't believe her at first. But when he does he's suddenly overwhelmed by embarrassment. He will never recover. Hes so fucking glad he didn't actually go to the doctor or to sensei because at least Rin he can swear to secrecy FOREVER

Kakashi has to deal with his suddenly too big for his mouth adult fangs and keeps going to Rin to help heal the cuts they keep leaving on his lips ,,,,

Somehow Obito catches wind of this, and hears "Rin + helping with Kakashi's lips (???)" And thinks they're kissing and loses his goddamn mind in spectacular fashion.

Toddler drama....

Idk where Im really going with this, it ended up taking a life of its own

Uhhh anyways. Moving this conversation entirely:

You can copy pasted this exact concept onto Naruto for a really funny (and kind of awful) au where Naruto loses his first tooth and becomes convinced he's dying

He does actually try to go to the hospital but they try to turn him away, but when he blurts out that he's scared he's dying a particularly mean spirited doctor pretends to examine him then goes "oh no. You really are dying and have a week to live. Boohoo."

Naruto loses his fucking mind and makes a "things I want to do before I die" bucket list and then spends the next week desperatley trying to complete it bc hes convinced he's gonna die on the final day

This list includes but is not limited to:

- become Hokage

- start a family

- eat every single different kind of ramen on Ichiraku's menu

Idk how to make the first and third especially funny but like.

"Starting a family" ending up somehow leading to Naruto very aggressively trying to get literally anyone to hold his hand in a similar fashion to "Uchiha Sasuke's 10 step plan to get revenge" where Sasuke tries to get Shikamaru to marry him in his quest to "live a good life" to get revenge on Itachi, while Naruto hears Sasuke is looking for a husband and very loudly tries to get him to pick him instead

Which is actually a really fucking funny one on its own and now I'm just thinking about that instead, so I'll leave this post here

I got a little distracted, but. Thank you for ur ask !!!

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localwhiskeyuncle · 4 months ago

Text

NBC Hannibal not being able to get the rights to Clarice Starling was honestly a blessing in disguise; they were able to take all the best part of both book!Will and Clarice and make the most glorious version of Will Graham possible and it gave us Hannibal's dynamic with Abigail.

Regarding Will - I loved both characters so dearly, so to have them combined is honestly such a treat. He has book!Will's mind and temperament, but Clarice's fire, drive, and sharp sense of humor. I'm not kidding when I say the absolute best bits of each of their personalities were put into TV!Will and my God does he shine it's no wonder Hannibal is obsessed with him.

In the books Hannibal sees the potential in both Will and Clarice, but he misses his chance with Will, he pushes him too far. When Clarice comes along and is just as quick, and damaged, and bright (but younger and easier to mold), he is determined not to let her slip through his fingers like Will did. So with the two characters being of such similar significance to Hannibal, it is so perfect to blend the two of them together and makes all the sense in the world why Hannibal is absolutely bonkers crazy about Will Graham in the show - he's the amalgamation of the two most fascinating, promising people he has ever met in the source material. The show takes his obsession with two people and puts all that passion into an obsession with one person and it becomes, I think, all the more interesting for it.

Book!Hannibal is obsessive anyway (drawing Clarice as Jesus on the watch face, drawing her as a griffon on the copy of The Tattler in Florence, keeping close tabs on her career from another fucking country for seven years, Clarice being pretty much the only person he talked to Barney about, sending Clarice random gifts, etc.) but to have all of that obsession turned onto one person is delicious because Hannibal clearly finds genuine emotional longing/desire to be sort of grotesque but he cannot help but hope.

They also put some of Clarice's character into Miriam Lass (obviously - I would also say that Miriam's circumstances are a parallel to Jame Gumb's victims), but even more important, they gave some of her character to Abigail.

The books baaaaaarely touch on the Shrike and definitely have no mention of Abigail (WHICH SIDE NOTE - since she exists only in this universe she should've been called Hannah it would've tied into the books soooo nicely bc that name holds significance to Clarice and therefore begins to hold significance for Hannibal), but Abigail has arguably one of the most important pieces of Clarice, the one that kept Hannibal's interest aflame even after years of no contact: the parallel to Mischa. In the books his interest in Clarice is, at first, as a surrogate for Mischa. He attributed his connection to Clarice as a connection to Mischa for the longest time, I think partially because it confused him to feel that way for another person. He has displayed empathy at multiple points in the novels but it still doesn’t necessarily come easy to him. Abigail quite obviously steps into the surrogate sister/daughter role in the show and it's interesting to see how that plays out when you very deliberately subtract the (eventual) romance from the equation.

I guess to sum it up while I love Clarice Starling so dearly I'm glad she was not able to be included bc we ended up with much more complex relationships with the characters that do exist in the show

#the show also very much reads as gay hannibal fanfic like it's 100% something with 32 chapters on AO3 #fuck you bryan fuller but also thank you for that #hannibal #nbc hannibal #hannibal lecter #will graham #abigail hobbs #clarice starling #miriam lass #thomas harris #hannibal books #hannibal series #my post #media analysis #hannibal tetralogy

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beruxyz · 11 months ago

Text

| "ᴵᶠ ˢᴴᴱ ᴴᴬˢ ᴺᴼ ᶠᴬᴺˢ ᵀᴴᴱᴺ ᴵ ᴬᴹ ᴰᴱᶜᴱᴬˢᴱᴰ"

- ꜱᴇʟꜰ!ᴀᴡᴀʀᴇ ʜꜱʀ ᴡᴏᴍᴇɴ x ꜱᴛʀᴇᴀᴍᴇʀ!ɢɴ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ.

- ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ: ᴀᴄʜᴇʀᴏɴ, ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ ꜱᴡᴀɴ, ᴋᴀꜰᴋᴀ

- ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: ᴘᴜʟʟɪɴɢ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪʜɪʟɪᴛʏ ʟᴇꜱʙɪᴀɴꜱ ᴡʜɪʟᴇ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏꜱᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ʙᴀᴅ ꜰᴀɴ ᴇᴠᴇʀ.

- ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: ᴅᴏᴡɴ ʙᴀᴅ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ, ᴄʀɪɴɢᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ & ᴄʜᴀᴛ (ᴡᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴇᴇ ɪᴛ), ꜱʟɪɢʜᴛ ᴏᴏᴄ ʙᴇʜᴀᴠɪᴏʀ?, ꜱᴡᴇᴀʀɪɴɢ, ꜱᴜɢɢᴇꜱᴛɪᴠᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇᴍᴇꜱ

ꜱ/ɴ = ꜱᴛʀᴇᴀᴍᴇʀ ɴᴀᴍᴇ

+ ʀᴇᴀᴅʏ? ꜱᴇᴛ… ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛ!

The light emitting from Y/N's computer being the only source of light inside the small streamer's bedroom. Blinds and curtains were closed while the steady stream of users chatting 'Hello' in their livestream multiplied.

"Welcome back to another stream everyone! I have to be just a little quiet today because... It's night, Dark as hell." Y/N spoke with a nervous grin in their face, Chat just spammed random emotes while others asked what they would be doing today.

"So, If you haven't been on the last streams of me just farming every single nook and cranny in this god forsaken game then we are going to be pulling today!"

"....I have saved for SO long omg.." They muttered while booting up the game, A grin now placed on their face as they finally shared their screen.

"I'm on 10 pity and 50/50 so.. I just REALLY hope she comes home! Please! PLEASE! I have pre-farmed and everything!" They yelled quietly while in the dark abyss of their bedroom. Chat just spammed whatever they felt like as Y/N finally showed the wishing screen.

*warning: This may be a bit off script on Kafka's part*

- ＡＣＨＥＲＯＮ || Self-Annihilator

- Acheron would have never once believed she was made for entertainment, Every tragedy she has seen, Every fight she had been engaged to and won most preferably. Yes, She believes she at least has some reasons to not only be made for 'Entertainment'.

- But here she stands, Back pressed against the invisible box she is caged in along with other people who have never been "pulled" by you.

- Her aloof personality helping her understand that "Oh yes, I see. I was merely created to be a puppet, an entertainment. I see."

- Glitching in all her glory, She had always had her eyes on you. From the very moment she gained sentience. Seeing the puppet you control from reality talking to her, Forcing the trailblazers to do your bidding.

- Always hearing you talking about her, Your absurd comments about her is beyond comparable to those of atrocities. Talking to other beings she never even hear at least once speak, Although a robotic voice she could hear, Talking to you and your loneliness.

- Yet, She can't help but feel endeared about some of your comments, Your presence when she would be talking to the Trailblazer had a sort of calming effect on her.

- Still, She absolutely despises you. Have you no sense of pride or dignity?

- She wonders. Just how far can she go before you truly understand what it means to leave a life of fakery.

*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐༘⋆*ੈ♡⸝⸝⋆*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐⸝⸝*ੈ♡

"Omg look at her!" Y/N gushed as they stared at the splash art of Acheron. Spam clicking on Acheron's face as some sort of wishing ritual.

"Fellas, is it gay to wanna get stabbed by her? I mean, You're literally getting entered on by a woman." Y/N said suddenly with an eyebrow raised, Looking straight at the camera.

"cupcakemangabaker: We officially lost them"

"YouLeftMeHanging: I bet it's neon purple and fades to black at the base"

"IKnowYoureReal replying to YouLeftMeHanging: WOAH HUH?"

YouLeftMeHanging has been put to timeout

"Alright well! Enough of that! We got ourselves a gay to catch fellas!" Y/N spoke in their most southeasterner accent possible. "Yeehaw brother!" They spoke as they finally clicked the 10 pull.

"Hm.." She hummed as a bright light suddenly engulfed her.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" They yelled all of the sudden while standing up from their seat as the ticket had a faded rainbow on it, The music changing signifying that it is in fact is a 5 star. "Omg wait wait, No no... PLEASE OMG! WAIT WAIT!" S/N immediately turned off the background music.

As Pompom finally gets blown away and the doors of the astral express opened, The first thing that came on Y/N's screen was

Harmony.. Atleast Bronya... Yay.

As the screen continued against the streamer's wishes, For a split second, The path immediately changed to Nihility.

"Acheron..." Merely a borrowed name. You know my nature, remember my deeds... Thus, I am Acheron." The voice line played as Acheron showed up in front of Y/N's monitor.

Mouth wide open with a dumb struck look on their face, Y/N was both confused and thanking the hoyo-gods for giving them Acheron.

"Now wait just a goddamn minute. We all saw the Harmony icon right? I wasn't hallucinating that shit?" Y/N asked nervously, Wondering if they just hacked the game despite literally not having any sort of mod in game.

"KinkyKnifeCollector: Imagine it's one of those self aware au's I've been reading lmfaoo"

"IDontDoWellWithRopes: i bet another acheron is behind that one too"

"Oh please, That's never happening." Y/N said while rolling their eyes, Clicking on the skip button as they already got Acheron.

10.

10 Acherons suddenly flooded the streamer's screen, "umm..Guys? This really scary" The streamer quoted as they looked back and forth to their screen and camera.

"This is a dream..probably.. because NO WAY." Y/N was starting to second guess themselves at this point. Did they have a hack client? There was no way this was ACTUALLY possible.

"I mean like come on, If hoyo wanted me to get gangbanged by Acheron they should just make her real!" Deciding to just fully ignore chat, Nervously making jokes to lighten the mood. Specifically their mood, Because what the fuck is this bullcrap?!

"ilovemangaandbaking: OMG HOW?? Please please pull on my account ples please pelase pealase"

"[MOD]AMatchIntoWater replying to ilovemangaandbaking: Brother eugh"

"DisgustRunsThroughMyVeins: I bet it's a man (I'm a man).

As Y/N hurried to place Acheron on their team, They are immediately reminded once more that they managed to get E6.. In a singular 10 pull.

Finally placing Acheron on their team, Switching to Acheron immediately as they finally let the most excited scream ever, Even when they said it was night, I'm sure the neighbors won't mind a few screams of terror.

- ＢＬＡＣＫＳＷＡＮ || Memokeeper

- Black Swan was a bit shocked at first. After all, Who wouldn't be shocked by the revelation that you are created to be played with?

- Still, She had to be composed as always. Talking to this mascot and husk of a person that occupies the player from reality itself.

- When she no longer mattered did she suddenly get transported into an invisible box in the dark void of the abyss. Space was quite literally moving faster than she had ever seen in this.. box.

- It was little uncomfortable, walking on air. Sure, she could pass through walls but at least she had some sort of grasp of where she is and what she's standing on. Now she has no concept of where in the world she is and she feels like a migraine is coming.

- Her only knowledge of people she is stuck with coming from the trailblazer and even then, the information is barely enough to get her to have at least a conversation with most of them.

- A lost child, A soldier, A guardian... The Astral Express. and some.. sassy lost child with another sassy lost child. She's beginning to see a pattern with the Xianzhou Loufu now.

- She absolutely was bewildered with your comments about her. Something about you wishing to be used by her glass hands.. She supposes she should ignore that part unless her mind delves deeper within the meaning of that.

- Will you still say the same thing when you're face to face with her or will you be consumed by fear itself?

*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐༘⋆*ੈ♡⸝⸝⋆*ੈ♡⸝⸝🪐⸝⸝*ੈ♡

"haha very funny chat." Y/N spoke blankly as they pressed on another 10 pull, Who knew such character would be so hard to get! Chat was already betting that they would lose their 50/50 on hard pity.

"everyoneisaddlcreference: I BET 100 BUCKS!"

"IgnoringMeAreWe: I BET MY SOUL!"

"Okay we don't HAVE to go that far with the bets calm down!" Y/N spoke, Their No BS facade crumbling as they let out a huff of amusement. "I would let her fuck me, Peg me just come home PLEASE."

As the streamer finally reached hard pity, Chat was already spamming Ls on them, Cyberbullying was their love language they supposed. "I'm taking the fattest L right now dude.."

"Im..ImTheProtagonist!: Point and laugh everyone."

"sentientcupcake replying to Im..ImTheProtagonist!: ick."

"Im..ImTheProtagonist!: WHAT DID I DO?!"

"Omg... PLEASE JUST GIVE ME BLACK SWAN HOYOVERSE!" Y/N yelled as they slammed their desk, It was mostly for the bit of course but maybe breaking their desk might.. work?

"WITH THESE STELLAR JADES I SUMMON, BLACK SWAN!"

"WHAT THE-"

The ticket had a faded rainbow trail on it, It was barely noticeable but Y/N saw it and immediately screamed in happiness. Fuck them neighbors and fuck chat too, IT IS HARD PITY AND JUST GIVE THEM BLACK SWAN.

"Please! All I beg for is Black Swan, I will treat her right!" The streamer added, They were stood up already, hunched in front of the camera as they clicked past the other lightcones they acquired.

"Y/N.. Intriguing name. Hmm... and a fate that's quite elusive." Black Swan's voice rang inside the streamer's headphone, It felt like her voice was echoing inside their brain as they just stared at the splash art of Black Swan.

"SoldMySoulForPoetry: Oh man, I just lost 150 bucks :("

"YourReality: Why is no one mentioning that bs just said S/N's real name LMFAO"

"somearejustmyfavoritesongs: Probably because"

"SpiderDance!1!!1: Oh shit hoyo-police got to him"

"wow.. I mean damn, What the hell." Y/N mumbled as they finally sat themselves back in their chair, Looking over at their chat before awkwardly clearing their throat. "Damn, What just happened?" They chuckled as they clicked past Black Swan. They should probably end stream, they already had Black Swan now and It was so late anyways, plus they had to hangout with their friends tomorrow.

After saying goodbye to chat, Y/N finally let out a heavy sigh, leaning back on their chair as they began to ponder what the hell was that. No use thinking about it, It's just some pixels on a screen anyways.

"You won't even give me an ounce of your thoughts? How unfortunate."

"WHAT THE-"

- ＫＡＦＫＡ || Stellaron Hunter

- Of course she knew it, Elio and his scripts, it's a ton of fun messing with you in the Space Station.

- But oh how she loved messing with you even more in the Xianzhou Loufu. You're so easy to read, Your questions had always been anticipated by her. Hearing herself say how your her child just left her wanting to laugh straight in your face.

- Thank god for the unbroken codes, She could mask it well. Although it's more or so of her facade that she keeps up, How adorable seeing you worry about her.

- Perhaps it might have even left her feeling a little giddy and endeared by your subtle love for her.

- It's not even subtle but still, It's like a high school crush. Atleast that's what Silverwolf said, "Ugh, What do you even see in them Kafka?", Honestly, she herself does not even know. All she knows is you're absolutely adorable.

- Your words really do leave her breathless, From laughing that is. It's cute seeing you gush about her and literally yell your heart out every chance you see her outside of your quests.

- But now, She has a chance to see you once more. There's not many chances of you seeing her since her banner had been long gone, Too bad you're a new player.

- But don't worry, A few tweaks and tricks by her companion will surely get that job done.

- You'll see her again. again and again until all you see is her. Just Kafka, In your reality. It's not gonna be a dream anymore, no.. no. Just you and her in the endless vast sea of space.

⋆·˚ ༘ <3*⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *🔭!

"Guys, I'm not hacking I swear." Y/N spoke seriously as they checked their second monitor, Wondering how in the world they managed to get on Kafka's banner when it practically ended AGES ago. "This is like.. What is this? What even is this, I am so confused bro."

"I haven't even managed to farm THAT MANY stellar jades yet, I'm still stuck on the Loufu what the hell!" Y/N stated while throwing their hands up in the air, The wishing screen only having Kafka's banner on as well as the signature lightcone. No second banner, No standard banner, JUST Kafka.

"ilikefantasynovels: Guys donate to S/N so they can buy oneiric shard."

"Falckason: they're so poor charity is considered a heaven-sent for them LOL

"ItBoy donated $500: Take the L S/N"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN TAKE THE L, YOU DONATED 500 DOLLARS! also by the way thank you, I really appreciate it." They whispered the last part onto the mic as they put their face cam on full screen so the users couldn't see their credit card details.

"This is not scamming chat, My game is just built different." Y/N spoke with confidence as they finally switched the screen back to the wishing menu. "Obviously, I'm using 500 dollars worth of stellar jades just for Kafka."

"WindResistance: you were gonna get E6S5 Kafka one way or another"

"TRUE! That's sadly but not that sad.. very true. Look I just love her so much is it too much to ask for?!" Y/N yelled dramatically. "If I get her on my first ten pull I will end stream!"

Chat obviously disagreed with whatever stupid declaration S/N was saying in the heat of the moment. I mean come on, They were on 10 pity with literal dogshit luck!

As Y/N finally clicked the 10 pull button, The trail of the ticket glowed with a trail of rainbow, An obvious sign that it was a 5 star. Chat went wild seeing the streamer get a 5-Star on their 2nd 10 pull. Bombardments of 'WHAT' and random emotes flooding the small streamers chat box.

And the first thing that showed on Y/N's screen was...

"Hi, Astral Expressers... Well, you caught me." Kafka's voice line played, Chat spamming whatever emote they felt like while the streamer jumped off their seat and knelt down on the ground, As if praising every God they knew.

Sounds of dramatic yelling and crying were heard far off from the mic as Y/N was spouting nonsense before they immediately stood up and retuned to their desk. "Alright boys and girls! ENDING STREAM!" Y/N yelled once more into the mic before sincerely bidding the chat farewell, Ending the stream completely.

Y/N sighed heavily, A boulder lifted off their shoulders as they sat back down on their chair. Blankly looking at the screen of Kafka's splash art as they let a small giggle of happiness escape them.

"Kafka... Kafka" They hummed as they skipped past the pull, Before being bombarded by 7 different Kafka's and Bronya's light cone. "Oh what the hell?" They mumbled under their breath as they did double-take on their screen, Tiredness was slowly creeping up on them. They didn't even know if this was reality anymore.

"I should.. probably head to bed." They mumbled once more under their breath, Turning off the game and PC before heading to bed. Slowly drifting off to sleep as they laid in bed. Too bad you didn't realize the whispers of a certain someone.

𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨! 𝘐 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘈𝘓𝘓 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘛𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘭𝘳. 𝘉𝘶𝘩-𝘣𝘺𝘦 <3

(Asks are open :>)

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