#god I miss sweden right now

[cold-earth-connection]

Sunday, hope you're well friends X

[woso-dreamzzz]

Call Up II

Hardersson x Teen!Reader

Part of the Big Adventures Universe

Summary: Zećira and Frido's reactions

You sit out the front of Millie's house, staring down at your phone.

Zećira's smiling contact picture looks back at you. Your finger hovers over the call button. You're not too sure how to start this off. You can see Morsa pacing up and down the road, as she talks to moster Frido and you look back down at Zećira's picture.

"Hey," She says when the call is picked up," What's up? You never call."

You laugh a little awkwardly. "I..er..." You definitely didn't think this far ahead. "I actually have some news."

You can practically hear Zećira's eye roll. "Don't tell me your mothers are doing something stupid again. I can only take so much of Magda falling out of trees."

"It's about me, actually."

You could hear the moment Zećira went serious. There's some rustling on her side of the phone as she moves about.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," You say, biting at your lip," I was just wondering if you want to come watch me play."

"For Arsenal? Sorry, y/n, I know the derby is tomorrow but I'm busy until lunch. I won't be able to make it."

"No," You say," During the international break."

"Oh, then yeah, I'm free. So long as you get Pernille to send me directions. I'm telling you the roads in Denmark aren't natural. They-"

"In Sweden, actually," You cut her off," With the senior team."

There's silence for a moment and then an odd little squeaking sound.

"For our senior team? For Sweden?"

"Yeah, for Sweden."

Silence again.

"You got called up?! When?!"

"A few minutes ago," You reply," There's three friendlies. One for each keeper so I'm actually going to get game time."

"Are you serious?"

"Would I lie?"

"You sort me out with tickets, do you hear me? And...And...You're going to be wearing a Sweden shirt?"

"No more wearing yours," You laugh.

"When do you go back home? After the derby? I'll send you something. I don't know what but I'll send you something, okay? Have you told Frido yet?"

"Morsa's calling her now."

"Okay...okay..." She takes several deep breaths. "Video call me tonight so I can sort everything out, alright? God, I'm so proud of you."

You had just dropped the call when Morsa comes hurrying over. She shoves her phone into your ear.

"Congratulations!"

"Thanks, moster."

"I called it," Moster Frido boasts," I said to your mothers that we'd see you in a Sweden jersey one day. I love being right."

You laugh a little bit in disbelief. "You can't have known."

"I did," Frido insists," Although, I did assume it would be as a forward."

You roll your eyes. "But you're fine with it being as a keeper?"

"Well," Frido says with a laugh," So long as when your kids are named Frido, we have enough to fill all positions, I'm happy with you as a keeper."

You huff in amusement. "Bold of you to assume they'd be named after you."

"Bold of you to assume that I won't be front row watching you next month."

You perk up. "You're coming?"

"You think I'd miss your first game on the senior team?" Frido asks back," I don't know if they'll be selling your shirts yet. I'll have to DIY my own."

Your cheeks go a little red at that. You hadn't thought about people selling your shirt. They didn't sell shirts at the youth level. It had never really crossed your mind.

But you also knew what moster Frido was like. You knew how embarrassing she was.

"Please don't."

"I will," She promises," Just you wait."

Momma pops her head out the door. "Millie said dinner's ready."

"I have to go," You say to Frido," I've got a match tomorrow. I need to eat."

"Alright," Frido says," I'll see you soon, alright? Front row."

"Front row," You confirm," Love you, moster Frido."

"Love you too, little monster."

[pitchsidestories]

Girls like girls like boys do II Kyra Cooney-Cross x Reader

a/n: The tiktok video was our inspiration for this oneshot. We hope the person who requested a KCC oneshot ages ago likes how it finally turned out. ❤️

arsenal women masterlist I word count: 1965

"Saw your face, heard your name Gotta get with you Girls like girls like boys do, nothing new Isn't this why we came? Tell me if you feel it too! Tell me, girls like girls like boys do Nothing new"

~ Hayley Kiyoko, Girls Like Girls

Three beaming australian players were strolling along at London Colney while you were busy preparing the set up for the upcoming tiktoks.

You really enjoyed your internship in the social media departement of the Arsenal Women Football Club. It was a joy and pleasure to work with such a talented team off and on the pitch. Moreover, working here really sparked your creativity which you thought you lost a bit during your studies at university.

With a bright smile on her lips, Steph Catley was the first of the three players to greet you: "Hi, y/n got a new aussie to work with you today."

"Hi.", Kyra Cooney-Cross waved at you. Her cheeks were slightly blushed as she took a closer look at you. "Hello, nice to meet you, Kyra.", you said in a warm tone, trying to make her feel comfortable and less nervous about her first days with a new club.

A real smile appeared on the young australian midfielder's face: "Nice to meet you too."

With a cheeky grin Caitlin Foord striked different silly poses in front of you which made everyone laugh: "So what are we supposed to do ?"

"No, worries Cait, I already have an idea how to introduce the newest aussie member to the Arsenal family.", you told the striker before you winked at the latest addition who came from Sweden.  Curiously Steph glanced at you:"You do?" "Yes and it goes perfectly with Caitlins goofy mood.", you replied. "That’s the best videos.", the striker declared. Excited Kyra was clapping her hands: "I can't wait." "Yes, let's go.", the defender announced equally motivated.  "Great, so let's get started.", you nodded, ready to show them the ideas you had in mind for them.

After all the filming was done Kyra was nervously licking her lips as she turned her face to the fellow Matilda teammate:"I don't know how to, Cait." "Don't know what?", Caitlin asked friendly. From afar she spotted you, so the young midfielder mumbled blushing: "Doesn’t matter."

Later in the evening Kyra arrived at her new flat, which was still relatively unhomely with all the cardboard boxes still being around, that was the moment when she started missing her former Hammarby teammates.

The ache intensified, as she saw Katrina Gorry video calling her, while taking the call the young player could see the older Australian woman’s face lighting up: “Hi, little one.” “Hi Mini.”, Kyra replied softly.

Smiling brightly Katrina told her: “Harper and I saw the Tiktok Arsenal made with Cait, Stephy and you.” “You did? Tell Harper I said hi.” “I’ll, she loved it, the woman who lived in Sweden admitted before changing the subject with a bright grin on her small face, But now back to you, you wrote something about a cute girl.”

A nervous cough escaped from the younger midfielder’s lips: Yeah…” “Tell me about her.”, the older player encouraged her, looking very cozied up in her chair.  Slowly Kyra opened up: “She’s the social media manager?” “Means you’ll have plenty of opportunities to get to know her.”, Katrina winked at her. The tease was enough to make the new Arsenal player blush: “I can’t.”

“Why not?”, the young mum asked slightly irritated. The response came quickly from the other side: “She’s working for Arsenal.” “So do you.” “Yeah. Isn’t that a problem?”, Kyra played with a loose string of her hair to calm down her nerves.

Empathetically Katrina shook her head: “Not at all. Oh my god, you’re literally so cute Kyra. You know that you’ve players in your team who date each other, right? So that’s not much of a difference, you see.” Mini as she was lovingly nicknamed by teammates and fans felt the motherly urge to hug the younger woman, but was kind of sad about the fact that she couldn’t do it in this particular moment.

Kyra frowned; “I do think that’s very different.“ Katrina on the other end just sighed; “Okay.“ “You don’t think that?“ “No, you should give it a try.“, replied the older football player sternly. Kyra bit her lip; “Seriously?“ A small smile appeared on Katrinas lips; “Only if she wants to too of course.“ But not even that wiped the doubtful look off of Kyras face; “But I’ve never asked a girl out.“ “Oh, trust me, it’s not very different to asking a boy out.“, Katrina laughed. With a shy smile, Kyra admitted “It does feel different. Actually, boys used to ask me out.“ Her team mate sighed; “Yeah, I know. But fuck the patriarchy.“ Katrina barely finished her sentence, when her eyes went wide. She turned to her two year old daughter; “Shit, Harper, you didn’t hear that!“ But it was obviously too late. “Fuck the patriarchy!“, a childs voice repeated enthusiastically. Now this finally made Kyra smile brightly; “At least this time, it was you and not me.“ She thought about the world cup and the times she had to swallow the swear words she was about to say because Katrinas daughter was around.

“Do you want to hear about my first time asking a girl out?“, Katrina asked, obviously interested in changing the topic quickly. Kyra nodded; “Sure.“ “Alright. So, I was so nervous I stumbled over my own words. I couldn’t get out a full sentence. But the girl knew where I was trying to go and said yes anyway. What I’m trying to say is, you probably won’t be as awkward as me. Or if you are, it might just run in our family.“ “You know we’re not actually related, Mini.“, Kyra snorted. Katrina smiled softly into the camera; “I know but we’re found family.“ “Thank you. That means a lot to me.“ “You’re welcome. Call me after you asked her out, okay? I have to take Harper to bed now.“ The toddler was currently trying to climb onto her mum’s lap, rubbing her eyes, so Kyra waved into the camera; “Good Night, you two. Love you.“

With a bright smile on your face, you greeted the newest Australian signing on the next day: “Good morning, Kyra.” The grin intensified as you followed her gaze, catching her looking at your sports bag: “Oh yeah, I’m playing too, amateur football tho, later we do have a game, that’s why I carry this around.” “You’re playing too?”, Kyra asked, her mouth feeling suddenly dry from that unexpected but equally lovely news. “I’m a midfielder just like you, but not that good.”, you answered, your cheeks turning red. The arsenal player replied warmly: “Oh don’t say that. We all started there.” “I guess that’s true, and I really like my team, you stopped before suggesting boldly, Maybe you want to watch a game of mine someday so you can judge for yourself.” “Really? Yeah, sure. I’d love to.”, the young midfielder was clearly delighted by that opportunity to see another side of you. “Cool, when do you think you can make it?” “Oh, probably not today.”, Kyra nervously licked her lips. Quickly you reassured her: “I did not expect you to that’s why I asked.”

Later the young Australian player was sitting next to Caitlin in the changing room after the training for the day was done. The older attacking player raised up her eyebrows: “She invited you to watch a game of hers? That’s almost a day.” “That’s not a date..”, Kyra whispered. Meanwhile Steph joined them and suggested: “If you want to we can go to the match together. What do you think about that?” “Really? You’d come with me?”, the youngest of the three looked very relieved by that prospect.  Encouragingly Caitlin nodded: “Of course.” “How about next week? Before the season starts?”, Kyra asked them excited. Smiling Caitlin promised her: “We’ll be there.”

The next weekend, when Arsenal had a free day, Caitlin picked Kyra up to go watch your game. “Let’s see how good our content creator is.“, she said excitedly as they entered the football pitch together. Kyra was trying to find you, so she only realized that Steph joined them when Caitlin added; “Oh my god, you brought Calvin with you, Steph?“ “Of course I brought him. Couldn’t leave him at home.“, she laughed. Kyras face immediately lit up as she crouched down to pet the dog; “Hi cutie!“ “He says Hi, auntie Kyra.“, Steph replied for her dog who was trying to lick Kyras face.

But as soon as the first whistle was blown, the attention of the three Australians shifted towards the game. “She’s really good.“, Kyra noticed after a few minutes of watching you. Caitlin sighed dramatically, eyes wandering over the pitch; “God, I miss this.“ “Me too. I think I’ll try to go here more often. It’s fun.“, Kyra grinned. Steph nudged Caitlin with her elbow; “It’s so cute, Cait. Kyra is crushing on her.“ The younger player shot them an offended glance but Caitlin didn’t take her eyes off the grass; “And I’m crushing on this grassroots football, Steph. Don’t you ever miss playing like this? Just for fun?“ “I do. But look at Kyra.“ Arsenals newest signing was back at watching you, ignoring her two team mates. “She’s enjoying this.“ With smirk, Steph nodded; “Not only the game.“ “She said it’s not a date but it basically is a date.“, Caitlin agreed, laughing.

As soon as the final whistle blew, you walked over to the side of the pitch to hug your visitors; “Hi, my three favourite aussies.“ “Hey, great game.“ “Yes, it was great to watch.“, Steph and Caitlin offered their compliments. “Thank you.“, you smiled gratefully, before turning to Kyra who went suspiciously quiet, “Did you enjoy the game too, Kyra?“ “Oh, yes, I did. You were amazing.“, she answered fast, almost stumbling over her own words. Your smile only got brighter; “I’m glad that you did.“

“Caitlin, let’s go. Calvin needs a walk now.”, Steph dragged the forward with her, feeling you two needed time to talk alone in peace. For a second Caitlin gave the defender an irritated look: “I thought he just was on one!, when she realized her teammates plan behind that move and added quickly, yeah, okay, see you two tomorrow.” “Bye girls.”, you waved at them, still smiling while shaking your head at them. Nervously Kyra went through her hair with one hand: “So…” “Yes?” “I know this is weird but.. would you go out on a date with me?”, the Australian midfielder asked, her cheeks turning pink. Immediately you tried to calm down her nerves by saying: “Kyra it’s not weird at all. I’d love to go on a date with you. Do you want to get something to eat with me after I changed into normal clothes`” “Yes sure.”, Kyra nodded happily. A huge grin appeared on your lips as you said your goodbyes for now: “Perfect, see you in a few minutes.”

From afar Caitlin and Steph were watching you two. The forward turned to the defender visibly amused: “So I guess we don’t have to take her home now.” “Right, come on Calv, time for us to leave.”, Steph said, the dog himself could not wait to get back to his place after this adventurous day for him.

A few days after your first real date Kyra decided to video call her national teammate because she could not wait to tell her the great news. Curiously Katrina glanced at the younger footballer:“ So, what did she say?” “She said yes and she’s my girlfriend now.”, the Arsenal midfielder confessed. Excited Katrina lifted her arms up into the air: “I fucking knew it.” Her swearing made her wife looking really annoyed at her, so she tried to defend herself, sorry love, but thank god, Harper is asleep so she could not hear me using those words to express my excitement.”

[billybob598]

Look What I've Got (Sophia Smith x Reader)

Heyyyyy. I did not want to put this gif in because it makes me sad, but I thought it made sense with the story. Also, this is a F1 reader, there was a little vote between f1 reader or swewnt reader and f1 won 8-6 so sorry to anyone wanting the swewnt reader but this is a democracy. I might do a similar one later with a swewnt reader for those people. Anyways, it's a shit title and a shit ending so have fun reading! Remember any feedback good or bad is welcomed! Enjoy!

Word Count: 2.8k (My longest fic ever wooooo!!!)

You were a proud girlfriend right now. Here you were watching your girlfriend of almost two years, Sophia Smith,  playing in her first-ever World Cup. While you missed the group stage games due to the F1 Grand Prix in Hungary and Belgium, you were finally able to come to Australia. Your girlfriend didn’t know that you were here yet nor that you were attending the USA’s Round of 16 match against Sweden. Throughout the warm-ups, Sophia seems laser-focused, so much so that she doesn’t see you sitting in the stands wearing her jersey. Of course, it is instead her best friend Naomi Girma who spots you first. When she points you out you don’t think you’ve ever seen your girlfriend's head turn so fast. Her eyes land on you and she sprints towards you with a blinding smile.

“Oh, my God! Baby, I’ve missed you so much!” Sophia squeals out as she hugs you tightly. 

You chuckle, “I’ve missed you too, love.” When you pull away from the hug, Sophia immediately connects your lips. You reach back and slip your arms around her neck, trying to deepen the kiss. Gagging sounds come from beside you. Sophia groans and tries to chase your lips when you take your lips off of hers, suddenly aware of all the cameras, family members, and teammates surrounding you. You give her a weak smile and slightly push her back to the field. 

“Nooo, I wanna stay with you,” she pouts. You find her pouting adorable, but as much as you want her to stay with you, you know that she has to go continue to warm up. 

“Hi Y/N! I’m your favourite player right?” Naomi yells from across the field.

You wink at her with a cheeky smile, “Oh, of course. Girma on top baby.” Sophia gives her best friend a harsh glare before leaning in to give you one last hug.

“I’m your favourite though, right baby?” She asks quietly. You give her a subtle kiss on her ear while mumbling an “Always” to her. 

As the game gets underway, you watch nervously at every movement the US makes. Each time Musovic makes a fantastic save you can’t help the little groan of frustration that leaves your mouth. You can tell Sophia is starting to get frustrated with herself, whenever she feels she misses an opportunity she puts her head in her hands. The skin around your nails has been chewn. When extra time ends still in a 0-0 draw, your nerves increase tenfold. As Andi steps up to take the first penalty kick, Mollie, Sophia’s mom, reaches down and grabs your hand, squeezing tightly. When Sophia steps up to take a potentially game-winning penalty, you and her mom hold your breath. You can only watch in despair as her kick goes over the bar, her hands going straight to her head as the reality that she missed sinks in.

When the VAR call comes through and Lina Hurtig’s penalty is called good, your entire body deflates. The entirety of the US team breaks down, including your girlfriend. All you want to do is hold her and comfort her when you see her crying. It’s not her fault, you know that, but she’s already got it in her head that she’s to blame for everything. After a couple of minutes of tears and hugs among the team, the players start to make their way to their families and friends. You let Sophia sob into her parents' shoulders for a while. Finally, she pulls away and looks at you. You try to give her a smile and reach for her. She looks away and slowly starts to back away from you. The confusion you feel is represented on your face. 

“I’m sorry Y/N I just need some space right now,” she softly speaks. You nod, albeit confused but trying your best to be understanding.  After a long time in the locker room and taking their showers, the players start to emerge. Sophia shows up, her eyes bloodshot and puffy. She heads straight for her family once again. You hang back unsure of what she wants you to do. Her family leaves the two of you alone when her eyes meet yours. Opening your mouth to say something, you are caught off guard when she speaks first.

“Just don’t, okay?” Once again confusion writes itself all over you.

“Don’t what?” You ask.

“Don’t say that I did such a good job, that it was just unlucky I missed and that I’m still young, or some shit like that,” she says, a bit of anger seeping into her voice. You nod slowly, carefully choosing your next words.

“Okay, I won’t say that. I do think you did a good job, though. But, if you don’t think you did then whatever. All I know is that you made me crazy proud,” you state, trying to cheer her up. You don’t know what happened, but it seemed that sentence had set off Sophia. 

“Well I don’t care if you're proud of me, that doesn’t change the fact that we lost and it was all my fault! If you think that it wasn’t my fault, you’re astronomically wrong,” her voice rising with each word said, “I don’t care if you're proud of me. I don’t even know why you’re here, I don’t want you to be.” Her words sting. You take a step back, trying not to show just how hurt you are. 

“Do you really mean that?” You ask quietly.

“Yes. Yes, I do,” Sophia says harshly. Of course, she didn’t mean it. She has no idea why she’s saying these things right now, her heart cracking at how dejected you look. 

“Oh, okay. That’s fine, I think I’m gonna head back to my hotel I guess,” you whisper, looking down at the ground to ensure that she doesn’t see the tears pooling in your eyes. Quickly, you turn around and make your way to the parking lot. Your eyes stinging and your vision blurring, but you’ll be damned if Sophia gets to see you cry. The second you disappear out of her sight, Sophia feels terrible. Why on Earth would she say that? “I don’t care if you're proud of me,” who the fuck even says that? You flew halfway across the world to spend some time with her during your summer break which was only a few weeks, and this is how she treated you? For the entire bus ride back to the hotel, everyone is silent. Some people are crying, but Sophia is kicking herself over how she behaved towards you. She sends you a couple of texts, which she can see you read but don’t respond to. Then, when the team gets back to the hotel, she tries to call you a few times. Each attempt just gets your voicemail. Naomi, who was aware of the situation, just told her friend to rest and try again tomorrow. Sophia relents and comes to the conclusion that you won’t respond tonight and that she just needs to let you sleep and calm down a bit. 

The next day, as soon as she wakes up Sophia tries to get a hold of you. She calls you again and again. While eating breakfast she’s on her phone, praying that you’ll reply to one of the many texts she’s sent you. Her friends are slightly concerned at how dejected the forward looks after each passing minute with no word from you. Finally, Ashley Sanchez suggests that Sophia goes to your hotel to try and iron things out. Their flight wasn’t until the next day so she had the time. After thinking about the idea for a bit, Sophia decides to just go for it. She does know where you are staying and figures it’s only a fifteen-minute walk over. Sophia plays with her rings the entire time, her nerves only increasing as she gets closer to the hotel. Finding your room easily, she stands outside of it for a few minutes, trying to plan out exactly what she’ll say. Eventually, she knocks and holds her breath. When you open the door, Sophia’s heart breaks at the sight. Your eyes were red and you looked tired. You had heavy bags under your eyes and your hair looks dishevelled. You were definitely caught off guard by Sophia just showing up at your door. 

“Hey,” Sophia speaks softly.

“Hey, what do you want?” Your words have a slight bite to them. Sophia winces at your tone, but she knows it’s well deserved. 

“Um, I just wanted to apologize, you know, for last night,” she says avoiding eye contact with you. You sigh heavily.

“Yeah, okay,” your girlfriend looks up at you confused by your words.

“Okay?” 

“Okay. What you said was totally out of line and right now I don’t particularly feel like talking to you,” your voice is flat and she can sense a hint of anger in it. 

“Oh…” Sophia trails off, now feeling stupid for coming over. Obviously you wouldn’t want to talk to her. “Right, sorry. But can’t we just try and talk about it?”

“What’s there to talk about? I understand you were sad and disappointed in yourself, Soph, but you don’t get to just lash out at someone who didn’t actually need to be there. I chose to be there, for you, and then you say shit like, ‘I don’t want you to be here’ That’s not fair to me and you know it,” you breathe out, happy to finally get that off your chest. 

“I know, and I’m sorry. I’ll do whatever I have to do to show you that I’m sorry. Please just forgive me and I’ll make it up to you, please Y/N,” she begs, her eyes full of tears at this point. Now it’s your turn to avoid eye contact, looking anywhere but her eyes. You hate seeing her cry, more than anything. While your heart aches to just forgive her, you know that you can’t just let it go that easily. She’s said sorry, but that alone is not enough. 

“Soph, I’m sorry. I think I need some space.”

“What? No, no, no, please Y/N. I’ll do anything,” she continues to plead with you. 

“I’m not breaking up with you, okay? Don’t worry. I just need some time. What you said wasn’t cool and I just want to calm down a bit,” you say trying to keep the emotions out of your voice. You feel terrible at how heartbroken Sophia looks. “Sophia?”

“Yeah, yeah. Um, that’s okay. As long as you're not breaking up with me,” she mumbles, wiping at the tears running down her cheeks.

“No, God no. It’s just a break,” you say quickly, wanting to make sure she understood. She smiles slightly at how panicked you looked. With that, she moves to walk away, but not before giving you a hug and a kiss on your cheek. You blush slightly, watching sadly as she walks away. 

For the next few weeks, you and Sophia did not talk. You went back to your apartment in Monaco and continued to train and prepare for the Dutch Grand Prix. Sophia went back to Portland and after taking a week off recovering from the World Cup, rejoined training with the Thorns. Everyone could see how distracted Sophia looked at training and outside of it. They knew that you guys were on a break and that you were not talking to each other. While she was still playing well, her friends noticed that she was a lot quieter and that she didn’t seem to want to spend too much time with other people more than she had to. Your own team could also see how sad and distant you looked. So, a few days before you were due to fly to the Netherlands, your teammate and friend, Lando Norris, suggested you ask her if she wanted to come to the race.

A/N: I know that the race weekend is scheduled from the 25-27th and that Portland has a game on the 27th, but let’s just pretend that there is no game lol.

Agreeing with the idea, you send Sophia a text asking if she wanted to fly out to the Netherlands and watch the race. Sophia, of course, says yes and immediately starts to pack her bags. You send her the tickets for the weekend and the plane. 

As Sophia walks into the paddock, she’s nervous but excited. There was someone from the McLaren team showing her to the garage, and while she had come to a few Grand Prix’s before the car had been terrible then. Since the last time she came, the team had seen a ginormous amount of improvement. Now, you were competing for podiums and top 5 finishes instead of trying to not finish in the bottom 5. She was shown to your driver room and told that you were in a meeting, but you’d be done soon. After waiting for about ten minutes the door opens and you walk in, with your race suit hanging around your waist and the black fireproofs leaving little to the imagination. You stop your movements when you see Sophia sitting there.

“Hey, thanks for coming I know it was pretty last second,” you say sincerely.

“Yeah, it’s no problem. Thanks for inviting me,” she responds. She notices you playing with your hands nervously. Deciding that you need to stop, she stands up and reaches out, grabbing your hands and encouraging you to play with the rings on her hands instead. You smile softly, finding it sweet that she always remembers you like to play with her rings. For a few moments, there was silence. Then you break it with your words,

“How have you been?” Sophia sighs, thinking back to the last couple of weeks.

“I’ve been…okay,” you give her a look, “What?”

“The bags under your eyes say differently.” The US player looks down, embarrassed. 

“Okay, so maybe I haven’t been that great.”

“Mhm, well I guarantee you’ve been better than I have,” you murmur. Sophia gives you a questioning look. “I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t focus, I did terrible in the simulator training. I think some space was good for us, but now I think I’m feeling better.” She smiles at you, raising her eyebrows, encouraging you to continue “Do you wanna get back together?” Sophia smirks,

“I thought we didn’t break up? We were just on a break,” she challenges. Your eyes widen at your mistake,

“Err, well, shit.” She laughs at the expression on your face. “Well, whatever we were on, do you want to stop it now?”

“Yes please,” she requests. You chuckle lightly, before wrapping your arms around her neck. She smirks and rests her hands on your hips then leans in slowly. Your lips meet and start to move against each other. One of her hands moves across your abdomen, your abs tensing slightly under your fireproofs. She runs her tongue across your lips asking for access which you grant. Your tongues fight for dominance as she pushes you against the wall, deepening the kiss. After a couple more seconds, you pull away from each other.

“So, no more break right?” You ask teasingly. She fake ponders the question until you hit her shoulder lightly. She laughs,

“Yeah, yeah. No more break, babe” You grin and connect your lips once again.

For the rest of the weekend, Sophia is by your side. She loves hanging out with the mechanics and engineers. She also really likes Lando, who’s in a good mood for most of the weekend because the car is performing really well. Your girlfriend watches from the garage in excitement as you get your first-ever podium in F1 at Zandvoort. The Internet goes mad when you point and blow her a kiss from the podium, something which she returns. The team starts the post-race celebrations inside the garage while you are finishing up some media and debriefs. When you come running in everybody cheers and there are a lot of hugs and high-fives given out. You go straight to Sophia, holding your 2nd place trophy proudly.

“Babe! Babe! Look what I’ve got! It’s so shiny!” You shout happily. She laughs at the giddy expression on your face.

“Yeah I see it, love. It’s pretty cool,” she says while pulling you into a tight hug, “I’m so proud of you.” The smile that you give her melts her heart. For the rest of the night, you two stay tight together and drink the rest of the champagne in the bottle given to the podium finishers. A couple of weeks ago you thought your relationship was over, but now here you are with your girlfriend proudly beside you for one of your lifelong dreams. It doesn’t get much better than that.

[jackhues]

william nylander with. you know you're stuck with me, right?" "thank god i am..."

ooh i love this! hope you like it nonnie!

you whistled appreciatively as william entered your house.

he was dressed in a wife beater, leaving his arms bare and his muscles on display.

you were in sweden with him for the nhl global series, and it had been absolutely amazing so far. you'd gotten to spend a lot of time with his family. you got to see the world fall in love with him.

he'd just gotten home from being on a swedish talk show, one that you watched at home.

"did you seriously have to talk about our sex life in front of your parents?" you asked, throwing a pillow at him, which he cleanly caught.

"hey, i was asked a question!" he threw the pillow back lightly. "i had to answer. besides, it's not like they don't know anything."

he looked pointedly at your stomach, where your bump was hidden by willy's your large sweater.

"i'm so happy i wasn't there," you muttered. "well, besides the part where i missed seeing your muscles in person. besides that part, i'm happy."

willy laughed, dropping into your lap. you ran your finger over his biceps.

"you know you're stuck with me, right?" you poked him.

willy snorted, "thank god. i'd be useless without you."

the two of you made eye contact, laughing. there was no way either of you were going to live without the other.

this was a forever thing.

---

send a ❄️, player + prompt (CLOSED NOW)

[witchofimber]

trick or treat 🎃❤️‍🔥

One week after Lily and James broke up – tears, shouting, broken crockery – and six days after Remus walked away from Sirius for the last time – no tears, because nothing they did counted, right? - Sirius opened his door at a horrific half-past seven on a Saturday morning and found Lily, wan and haggard, leaning against his doorbell.

“Dorcas and Marlene only have a sofa and have really loud sex,” she said. “And Mary’s still living with her parents, and my family are – it doesn’t matter, but look, I understand if this is going to break your sacred vows of friendship with James, but - “

“I’m too hungover for this,” said Sirius. “The rents about two pounds eighty, but nothing works.”

“Aren’t you rich?”

“I’m living in bohemian squalor.”

Lily scrunched up her face, possibly catching a whiff of the kitchen. “Is it going to ruin your aesthetic if I fix shit?”

“Please. Do whatever the fuck you like.”

Sirius wouldn’t describe himself as mad at James, exactly.

You couldn’t be mad at James – no, plenty of people could be mad at James, but Sirius couldn’t. Vaguely irritated? Currently blaming most of his life problems on him? Enjoying watching him squirm? Yes to all three. But never anger, not really, which was why he was in The Pickled Stag (terrible pub, chosen purely for the name), signalling the barman for another and saying, “Are you really going to be grouchy because I didn’t let your ex be literally homeless? She’s my friend too.”

“I just think,” said James, “that, given the situation, it really would have been kinder of her to move to Bali.”

“Terrible choice, she’d burn in an instant,” said Remus. “Sweden. Iceland. Those are more Lily-appropriate places.”

“She can’t go anywhere cold, she can’t ski.” James picked up his shot glass, downed it in one, stared mournfully into the depths and then said, tearfully, “I was going to teach her to ski.”

“You can teach me,” said Peter.

“There you go,” said Sirius. “Pete is basically just Lily with worse hair.”

James, on the edge of a sob, said, “Pete, I’ve already taught you to ski five times. You cannot be taught.”

Remus was leaning over the bar, rapidly ordering enough shots to kill an elephant. His horrible trousers were stretched over his decidedly un-horrible arse. Sirius had to fire himself into the sun. He could not, could not, lust over a man in khaki slacks. A man who – dear god – was requesting Nanci Griffith on the tunes.

“Are you serious?” said Sirius.

“I thought that was - “ said Pete.

“Don’t,” said Remus, shaking out his hair. “My mum likes her, ok? It’s soothing music.”

“It’s the sad and sexless wail of the perma-virgin,” said Sirius.

“Not everything has to be about sex,” said Remus testily. “Sometimes things can just be nice, all right?”

“Who wants nice?” said Sirius, aware that he was stumbling into danger but slightly too drunk to stop. “I mean, give me passion any day.”

“Love is a lie,” mumbled James.

Sirius pointed at him. “See? He gets it.” He was grinding salt in the wound, deliberately nasty now. “No love for James. He doesn’t love anyone.”

“I love Lily.”

“He loves Lily,” said Sirius, gleeful.

Remus curled his lip. “The speed and consistency with which you manage to miss the point is genuinely astonishing. Prop James up, I’m going for a piss.”

“Merlin,” said Pete, looking between Remus’s back and Sirius. “What’s up with you?”

“There’s a monastery in St Bartelomo’s,” said James. “Very beautiful view. Lots of sea.”

“Fascinating,” said Sirius, with an intense premonition of dread. He pushed another shot towards James.

“The monks take a vow of silence.”

“Probably not for you, then.”

“What’s the point of speaking if I can’t say anything to her?”

“Human communication. Discussing the weather. Buying booze.”

“The monks of St Bartelomo’s brew their own wine.”

“Do they drink it?” said Pete.

James waveringly raised his glass and studied the irridiscent depths of his sambuca. “Perhaps further study is needed.”

“Perhaps,” said Sirius. “You’d make a shit monk, though.”

“If I can’t have her, perhaps God will comfort me,” said James, and then promptly threw up on his shoes.

[oflights]

top 10 books of 2023!!

thank you for tagging me, @elskanellis! i started drafting this right away, ran out of time to post it on 12/31, and am ~circling back now. i read 50 books in 2023, and these are my top 10 faves!

titles, brief #thoughts, etc. under the cut!

Himself, by Jess Kidd

this was so incredible and heart-wrenching and exciting to read. devastatingly beautiful/cheerful dirtbag lad busts into a small irish village to find out what happened to his mother, who was almost certainly murdered, and turns everything upside down. every character is so entertaining and funny and sharp, even the villains. the ending is incredible.

The Winners, by Fredrik Backman

i'd recommend this whole series, even if you don't care about hockey; it's so, so good and emotionally devastating. at its base, the series is about a hockey team in sweden, but really, this series belongs to the character of Benji Ovich, and it's a masterclass in building up a queer hero. it's unflinching in dealing with all that he goes through, and handles a lot of really difficult topics with deftness. the heart of his story, for me, is the question of what happens when you're in love with your best friend who is actually a despicable, evil person, and how can you ever forgive yourself for it?

The Iliad, translated by Emily Wilson

do i have to evangelize this one anymore? it's so fucking good. i've read it about 10 times at this point, i just couldn't bring myself to be finished with it. it's so refreshing and approachable and makes every single character leap off the page. it doesn't pull a single emotional punch (because homer doesn't! and wilson's like "don't look away!")

A Map for the Missing, by Belinda Huijuan Tang

this is one of those books that really comes together as a whole; i didn't know it was going to be a fave until i was finished with it. a chinese immigrant has to go back home to help search for his elderly father, who's gone missing. as he goes, every single thread of his past is tugged on and unravelled and the complexity and depth the narrative achieves is really astounding. the last few pages are an absolute gut-punch.

A Power Unbound, by Freya Marske

purely here for how it redeemed the entire series for me. i'm actually not a big romance person, though i did read more romance than ever this year; i just usually tend to get bored with the same sorts of romance tropes over and over (probably because that's what i read fic to get, not tradpub novels). this one doesn't do anything new or reinvent those tropes or anything, it's just really, really good and engaging and hot. the romance outshines the magic system/plot by far. i'd recommend the series overall, but this one has the best relationship in it AINEC.

Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Faeries, by Heather Fawcett

why do i always like middle grade authors who pivot to adult books waaay more than YA authors who do the same? like how are they so much better? that's definitely the case here. this is really fun fairy book (i went through a fairy phase over the summer) and packed a surprising emotional punch and a really lovely romance. i think it helped that the main character have major howl and sophie vibes. i'm excited for the sequel to come out in a few weeks!

Slewfoot, by Brom

god this was absolutely horrifying and brutal and also incredible? i actually can't believe this is here because it lost me through some of the worst of the witch trial torture (it goes really hard on it, as a warning, and i almost stopped there. her poor cat :/ i can almost never handle it when a cat dies) but!! i'm glad i stuck through because of the ending, which is phenomenal and makes every other bit of it worth it. the mythology is terrific and terrifying, too.

Small Things Like These, by Claire Keegan

possibly the best novella i've ever read? it just packs an incredible punch; it doesn't waste a single word, every square inch is a devastating look at the magdalene laundries and it doesn't hold back at all. so, so good.

Half a Soul, by Olivia Atwater

i'm so glad i discovered olivia atwater this year! this was during the Fairy Phase and it was just really fun and engaging. again, big howl and sophie vibes (this is such a high compliment from me) and i really love the second book in this series, too. it's just a really fun world to get lost in, and i'm excited to read more from this author this year.

He Who Drowned the World, by Shelley Parker-Chan

i had some problems with this, and i didn't love it as much as the first book, though i actually think most of those problems could've been solved with a third book and a longer runway. really wish this was a trilogy. that being said, this was still incredible. i loved every single narrative thread, there were zero emotional punches pulled, and i still think about these characters all the time. read this series if you haven't!!

[hana-the-ghostieee]

haii!! so um not sure what to post but like all i can think of right now is um the correlations between Dakara Boku wa Ongaku wo Yameta and Elma so um here! have a list of the different ways Elma (the album) references the diary, letters and the album it responds to

(if i miss some let me know please)

and dearest mobile users i will spare you so have a cut

edit: so @just-nonsense-bungaku said some stuff in the replies (thank you so much!) and all the songs after 8/27 (or the Nautilus MV) were written by Elma when her anger lost steam and she started to process her grief. explaining why Ame to, Yuu, Kokoro and Amy sound so different from the style she used (or copied off of Amy) from pre-8/27

and another edit: @teamsavingmyles said some stuff in the rbs, thank you thank you thank you!!! i've been thinking about Yuunagi's references recently cuz i've been working on translating both albums but i never really got around to it so yeah thanks!

edit: i just changed the order of stuff because i forgot well. each song would be written on different days, so for example Koe wouldn't refer to Kokoro, more like Kokoro was inspired by Koe and Yuunagi's metaphor for a hole in the heart

1. 8/31 & 車窓 (Shasou/Train Window)

...they're instrumentals :P (seriously i find no connection)

2. 藍二乗 (Ai Nijou/Deep Indigo) & 憂一乗 (Yuu Ichijou/Only Sorrow)

the concept of i to the power of 2 (and however that relates to Amy's feelings about Elma)

also the first kanji of both titles sound like "i" and "you"

edit: so Ai's chorus' motif is about how blurred the world is, because of Amy's tears, while Yuu's chorus motif is how transparent the world feels to Elma, now that Amy's gone

edit: Yuu takes the phrase "I don't need anything" from Hachigatsu, but for a completely different reason. i think in Hachigatsu, Amy says he doesn't need anything to show his life will ends soon, so like what's the point of anything. in Yuu, Elma says she doesn't need anything besides Amy. she just wants to hear him sing, just one more time (or something)

i mean other than that there isn't much, they sound so different

(like seriously. Ai is like TADA. TADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-- and then Yuu makes suis sound like she's about to cry. dakede *sobbing*)

3. 八月、某、月明かり (Hachigatsu, Bou, Tsukiakari/August, A Certain Place, Moonlight) & 夕凪、某、花惑い (Yuunagi, Bou, Hana Madoi/Evening Calm, A Certain Place, Fireworks)

so first of all both seem to stem from one memory of watching fireworks in the summer (according to a summary of Letters and Diary i read some time ago)

edit: re-reading Diary and it was Memory 17

Yuunagi was the first song Elma wrote, which is why it sounds so similar to Hachigatsu (INTENSE electric guitar, softer at the verses, picks up at the chorus, drops again)

also unrelated note but Hachigatsu is by far the angriest song i can think of. at least by Yorushika

edit: one of the last lines of Yuunagi may be what inspired Kokoro, "In my heart, a hole opens"

Yuunagi also references Ai, in the line "this song has about ___ characters" and the phrase "drowning in flowers" is seen again in Ame to

4. 詩書とコーヒー (Shikaki to Koohii/Songwriting and Coffee) & 雨とカプチーノ (Ame to Kapuchiino/Rain and Cappucino)

...coffee

okay seriously though, both also sound somewhat similar to each other (but from here on out, Elma's developing her own style :DDD)

in both songs they do struggle to keep up with memories of each other, in Shikaki Amy states he forgets things like dreams, things like Elma's mouth and eyes and in Ame to Elma tries not to let anything, literally all of her memories of Amy fade away. (reminds me of the reason why Elma kept a diary for her trip to Sweden)

5. 7/13 & 湖の街 (Mizumi no Machi/Lakeside Town)

...they're also instrumentals

6. 躍ろうぜ (Odorouze/Let's Dance) & 神様のダンス (Kamisama no Dansu/Dance of the Gods)

um the titles have "dance" in them???

not sure really. in Odorouze, Amy pretends everything's fine when he's still struggling with his memories of Elma and depression and whatever and in Kamisama no Dansu Elma is PISSED OFF about the fact that she decided to follow Amy's footsteps considering his values. i mean i don't blame her i don't feel like being told i'd have about a year left to live and just LIVE AND GO DO STUFF and go to Sweden before realizing "dang. i screwed up. can't talk it back now--" *oofs self on some random dock*

oh also a discussion i had w/ nonsense-bungaku on Kamisama has changed my beliefs slightly; Elma is still mad at Amy (and herself) for following his path and beliefs but she's also kind of done trying to create music with "value" and "purpose", just creating music because it's fun, because the process of creating music is something one can derive joy from

edit: Kamisama does take a line, "名もない花が綺麗とか" ("Nameless flowers are beautiful") and a slightly altered version of the line "そんなのどうでもいいから" ("I couldn't care any less about that", being "どうでもいいことばっかだ" meaning the same thing) from Yoru Magai

Kamisama also references Yoru Magai in the lines "I keep my head down, like I'm scared" because in the verses of Yoru, in the fifth lines, Amy talks about keeping his head down, so he can't see how blue the sky is or so he doesn't understand everyone's feelings.

another unrelated note, Kamisama no Dansu is still freaking good. not that it wasn't good before but like there's something about it that i really like and would talk about until i fainted from loss of oxygen.

7. 六月和雨上がりの街を書く (Rokugatsu wa Ameagari no Machi wo Kaku/In June, I'll Write About the Town After the Rain) & 雨晴るる (Ame Haruru/After The Rain)

first of all, both of them are about rain (astute observation. round of applause.)

i do think it's really cool how Amy says he'd write about the rain in the town he stayed at but never stayed long enough to write about it, so Elma does it for him. also Elma's style has changed from where she was before, like say, Yuunagi or Koe

also Rokugatsu references Ai Nijou and may be what inspired the creation of Parade

edit: both Ame and Rokugatsu talk about this "ultramarine" which, at least to me, in Rokugatsu refers to the whole memories and the window and in Ame Ha it refers to tears

Ame Ha also references Gogatsu with the swaying curtains, and *potentially* references Hachigatsu in the line "my heartbeat rung out". potentially. if i'm looking too deep and they aren't related don't yell at me

8. 五月は花緑青の窓辺から (Gogatsu wa Hana Rokushou no Madobe Kara/In May, from the Emerald Green Window) & 歩く (Aruku/Walk)

again, not sure how these correlate. though i like how Aruku's chorus is a slowed down version of Gogatsu's chorus.

edit: ...how i didn't notice this i will never know. the frikking Emerald Green/tears metaphor.

Aruku also talks about feeling "asleep", where Elma (as she said in Ame Ha) plays dumb and pretends not to know Amy would die early cuz chronic illness and moveth to foreign country (though Amy did grow up there) and unhealthy mental state. this song and Koe also talk about Elma hating herself for doing so, but Elma and Nautilus think that her playing dumb was pretty endearing

both songs also have this feeling of being "trapped", where Amy feels trapped in this life, and the only way out is Emerald Green, while Elma got left behind and is now stuck looking for at least scraps of the person she loves through these streets

Aruku also potentially references Yoru Magai in the way Elma imitates Amy by keeping her head down, the same way as Kamisama

9. 夜紛い (Yoru Magai/False Night) & 心に穴が空いた (Kokoro ni Ana ga Aita/A Hole Opened Up in My Heart)

i think it's cool how Yoru's main and last line is "I want to open up a hole in you" and then Kokoro's is like "That's why a hole has opened up in my heart" like HOWWWWW HOW MUST YOU HURT ME LIKE THAT

also Kokoro's third line references the song it responds to, as well as Letters 6/26, "a false night, like twilight, painted the town"

also another unrelated note KOKORO NI ANA GA AITA IS JUST SO SAD AND PAINFUL. LIKE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LET ME CRY

edit: how none of you said this gets me. um the line "君だけが僕の音楽なんだよ"、 エイミー ("You alone were my music", Amy) is literally from Ai Nijou (i mean i guess it was too obvious but whatever i'll put that in)

10. 5/6 & 森の教会 (Mori no Kyoukai/Church in the Forest)

more. instrumental.

11. パレード (Parade) & 声 (Koe/Voice)

both incorporate the concept of the God of Art which i think is cool

both are lyrically short

Koe references Yoru in the line "this heavy life is like a machine gun" and may have alluded to the metaphor from Yuunagi - in the line "what I want to draw/picture is the time that hollowed my heart" (and maybe a part of a line got re-used in Ame to Kapuchiino?? does the line "when I cry, it overflows” count???)

Koe also sounds like Parade, just in the key C#, not D

edit: in Letters 7/13, Amy said Parade was Koe

another edit: Parade is the song about the God of Art, right??? well i read @saikisser 's post on how FREAKING SAD PARADE IS AND LISTENING TO IT WITH CONTEXT MAKES IS EVEN SADDER and well Amy also thinks Elma is divine to him (because she's the one that sings the lyrics the God of Art managed to find in his fingers)

also another unrelated note but listen to Parade it's such a beautiful song i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee ittttttttttttttttt

12. エルマ (Elma) & エイミー (Amy)

awwwwww the non-depressing songs!!! i love them sm

um they're messages directly to each other

both were the last songs each other wrote in the story

they both sound sweet and Kumo to Yuurei-esque, but slightly more upbeat (basically just similar to each other)

yeah i love those songs they're the only happy ones by Yorushika i can think of besides Haru Dorobou (which is just SPRING :DDD oooo flowers!!! they're pretty!!!)

anyways.

13. 4/10 & 海底、月明かり (Kaitei, Tsukiakari/Seabed, Moonlight)

another. instrumental. (dw this is the last instrumental)

aaaaaaaand the last one. the one we've been waiting for.

14. だから僕は音楽をやめた (Dakara Boku wa Ongaku wo Yameta/That's Why I Gave Up On Music) & ノーチラス (Nautilus)

so they were both featured at the end of their journeys. (Amy oofs himself on the dock, Elma finds his stuff a year later and cries before going home on a ship like a month later but in that month there's like no lore whatsoever so it's kind of an epilogue???)

Dakara Boku mainly is just. looking at whatever happened back then and how much Amy regrets whatever he did in Letters. he wishes he stayed with Elma cuz then he'd have a bit longer to live but well i guess he really isn't going to make it past the summer. also screaming. aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--

i will say Nautilus was also written by Amy, because at the literal end (just before he wrote Elma, i think. he doesn't write when he says goodbye in Letters and Diary obviously doesn't state when it was written because well Elma doesn't know) he was going about his day before realizing the day he runs out of ink draws nearer and nearer. and he hasn't even considered how Elma felt/would feel after he's gone so he wrote Nautilus as a way to say "it will be hard, but turn away from me and lift your head to the future" and that makes me cry even harder like NOOOO I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU HERE BUT ALSO I CAN'T TAKE YOU WITH ME CUZ YOU TOOK THE BUS TO THE OTHER WORLD CYA

and that's it for the albums! =w=

*pathetic bowing*

[sweetbillwriting]

Love Just Happens

A New Chapter - Part 3

Characters: The future's Bill Skarsgård and others close to him. The rest is my own characters.

Setting: This story is set in the future but because it's hard to say how the world is then (and it isn't that important for the story) the future is similar to our time now, even with fashion and so on.

Warnings: 18+, age difference, smut, ageism, all kinds of talk about pregnancy, serious fluff, jealousy, violence, mention about weight, bullying, gossiping.

Notes: This chapter can be triggering!

Bill sat on the bed, watching Aurora by the vanity table braiding her long hair before going to bed. The clock was just 9 PM so he wouldn't go to bed yet but Aurora had been more tired the last week probably because of hormones but it could also be from annoyance. They were home in Sweden again with his daughters, his youngest sleeping in her room while the older ones were playing Playstation in the game room in the basement. Everything would have been cozy and calm if it wasn't for Aurora's bad mood. He wasn't really used to this dragged out bad mood and attitude and how she ignored him. They haven't even kissed for a week and Bill missed her even if she was so close.

"The clock is just 9 PM…" said Bill with a sigh while dragging his palms over his sweatpants. Aurora gave him a quick look in the mirror but then continued to braid her hair without giving him an answer.

"I get that you're tired… Is it because of the baby? Can I help in any way?" said he with a low voice so if one of his children would be close they wouldn't hear the "B word". He could see on Aurora's reflection that his question just made her more irritated and she twisted a hair tie around the end of the braid aggressively.

"Sure you can…" she said sarcastically and shook her head.

"What do you mean by that?" Bill asked but sounded more offended than he wanted to. Aurora turned around and gave him a pointed look.

"Oh, because you were sooo nice to Derwin."

Bill looked away and poked his cheek with his tongue.

"Derwin…" he said and laughed unamused. Now it was he who was annoyed.

"He will be here tomorrow and I am actually worried you will not be able to act like a grown up! I don't know what you're capable of doing!" She said with a louder voice and Bill hushed her softly, afraid his kids would hear. Aurora rolled her eyes. They were quiet and Aurora got into bed annoyed while Bill tried to come up with something to say.

"He's such a wimp…" said he with a low voice and rolled his eyes. As soon as he had said it he knew it wasn't the right thing to say. Aurora gave him a look.

"God, you're unbelievable! I never thought you would be like this! You said when we started to date you weren't the jealous type but Bill…" she gave him a pointed look. "You're extreme. I don't recognize you!"

Bill didn't want to give her the right, even if she was, but the whole thing with Derwin was freaky. She had paid him to come to Sweden and he had been there twice that week to do some weird tantric pregnancy yoga with her and he had seen him drag his dry hands over her bare waist and stood behind her while she stood on all four. Bill wasn't the shallow person but his whole look made it creep inside of him. That ragged beard and sly smirk.

"It's not every day you see Rasputin pressing his hard on against your wife…"

"Who the fuck is Rasputin?" Aurora furrowed her brows and could just hear some Boney M song in her head. Bill rolled his eyes. In reality he was annoyed at himself and the situation but now he got irritated she didn't know who Rasputin was instead.

"I just don't want to hear you moaning by that gross dude's hands when I come home."

"I've actually asked you to be a part of it. But maybe you will hit him too just like you did on Halloween!"

He had hit his friend. He had no idea where the action came from; it was just something about someone sexualizing his wife's pregnancy. His Lou. But he was also irritated that the dude seemed to believe he would tolerate him talking like that. It was enough when he said a more or less sexual comment about her breastfeeding. Bill wasn't at all the violent type but that was just too much. It had just been a punch over his brow, it didn't become more than that but it had made a scene at the party and Aurora went from being proud over him to needing to excuse his behavior. She wasn't pleased at all but relieved it hadn't leaked out to the press. Some of their fans just searched for a reason to spread out how awful they were as a couple.

"Can you just stop with those… I don't know what you call it, with Derwin?" He said with annoyance but also desperation. Aurora looked at his desperate eyes and sighed.

"Fine, but I do it for our baby, you know."

Bill nodded but it got slower and slower while he took in what she said.

"Do you… Want it?"

Aurora smiled irritated but amused at him. He was so stupid sometimes.

"If it's father stops acting like an asshole."

Bill lit up like he hadn't heard the comment about him being an asshole.

He kissed her hard even if she still was annoyed at him. She sighed with a smile and let his hands crawl down under the cover to feel the bump. Bill forgot about his friend and Derwin while crawling down next to Aurora under the cover. Maybe he believed the worst was over now but a pregnancy with Aurora wouldn't be easy, even if he believed he had the experience to handle it calmly.

×××

Bill had been out running in the snow believing it would be fine but he had slipped on some ice. He succeeded in catching himself but instead hurt his wrist and was now pissed. He thought he would be able to come home with new energy and in a sunny winter mood and wake up Aurora with kisses on her neck. The kids were probably still sleeping so he would have Aurora all to himself but now he just felt sorry for himself and hoped he could find something comforting in the fridge.

When he walked in he heard Aurora moan from the living room and his first thought was that he would surprise her just when she pleasured herself and he felt a stir in his running pants.

"Thaaaat's right Lou… That's right… Looou… Good girl…" he heard a familiar voice saying with low voice. Derwin. That fucking perv. Bill, who already was in a bad mood stomped into the living room with his wet sneakers on. Lou sat almost in a split, leaning forward while Derwin stood behind her pressing her back. It wasn't really anything intimate and Bill felt a bit stupid for coming in with such force. Aurora moaned again when Derwin succeeded to push her even further down, closer to the floor.

"Hey?" Said Derwin with that slimy smile towards Bill and released Aurora from his grip. She looked up at Bill but continued to breathe loudly. Breathing exercises for labor. Bill sighed. He really was an asshole. No one said anything so Derwin sat down behind Aurora, with one leg on each side of her and started to massage her back and hips. Bill looked at them for a while then he walked to the bathroom with heavy steps. He hated the guy even if he helped Aurora with her pregnancy. Even if she had actually asked him at first to help her. If it had been normal pregnancy yoga he would have done it but the thing with Derwin was that he practiced yoga by some cult-like group. Bodya Closer Tantric pregnancy yoga or whatever they called it. He was surprised Aurora had fallen for it. Just like himself she had been really skeptical to all such things but after the contact with Derwin online she had been hooked. Hollywood shit, he thought to himself while standing in the shower. A new trendy concept for people with too much money.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door while Bill was deep in his annoyance and self pity over his wrist. He turned the water off and listened for a few seconds.

"Aa?" He said in Swedish, a sound of questioning. His oldest opened the door a bit without looking at her dad in the shower.

"Who is the creepy dude in the kitchen?"

Bill sighed loudly.

"Aurora's yoga guru or something. Keep away from him."

His oldest looked towards the kitchen where Aurora stood in shorts and a tight sports bra. It seemed like she had gotten a boob job but she didn't dare asking either her or her father. The creepy guy leaned against the counter while Aurora made tea for them. For Bill's daughter it was obvious the dude watched Aurora a bit too closely but Aurora just continued to talk and even swayed her back and threw around her hair. She stretched but it looked more as if she was showing off her ass.

"Dad… You should really come out. I don't like this…" said his daughter and Bill didn't hesitate to listen to her. He put on a robe and walked out of the bathroom and saw Aurora holding on to the counter with her back curved while the man held a hand on the small of her back. The man smirked to himself and was pleased that Aurora's size made it possible for him to shift between looking at her bouncing tits and her ass.

"The work out session is over. My wife needs to rest," said Bill, determined as he walked up to them. Aurora stood up from her position and gave Bill an annoyed look.

"Oh, okay. It would be awesome if you could give her thighs a loving touch, we haven't done…"

"Loving touch?" Bill said angrily. His daughter stood in the door opening and also wondered who this creep actually was and why Aurora even wanted him close.

"It's just a name for the exercise."

The guy smirked at Bill but gave Aurora's thighs a look while she continued with the tea in embarrassment. Once again Bill was rude and jealous and Aurora couldn't see why. Bill looked at the guy pissed. He was so annoyed that Aurora couldn't see what the guy was actually doing. She just believed he was some sort of harmless hippie but he acted like a predator.

"Time to go," said Bill just to him and Aurora turned around. Her ponytail and breasts moved with the motion and both the men looked at her with heavy eyes.

When Bill realized that there was an audience to Aurora's too small top he pulled her close to his side, covering her with his long arms. He gave Derwin a challenging look who smirked back. He probably didn't know he would be fired soon.

"Namaste," he said as a goodbye with a deep bow and gave Bill a final smug look.

Aurora pushed Bill away when Derwin had left and gave his daughter a look. She knew what it meant and she walked up the stairs. She had learned now that her father actually could do some stupid things, the same things she had seen her own boyfriend do.

Aurora crossed her arms and looked up at Bill pissed. Even if she was much smaller than him in every way he always got nervous when she looked at him like that. He didn't want to disappoint her, he wanted to be the perfect husband but it was hard when people like Derwin were close to Aurora.

"You said you would stop… The yoga thing with him," muttered Bill as he messed with the coffee machine to have something to do.

"Yes, but it felt really rude to do it the same day as our booking," said Aurora and looked at Bill's broad back in the dark gray robe. He didn't say anything but when Aurora continued to fix her tea he turned to her.

"He actually looked at you really… Scary."

Aurora looked up at Bill with a serious expression but then looked at him with sympathy.

"Just because you think I'm… Attractive doesn't mean everyone thinks the same. You must stop believing every guy looks at me 'inappropriately'."

Bill didn't like how she spoke to him. Like he was just paranoid. There were too many men that looked at her, especially now with the boobs but he didn't want to comment on her chest because it would just make her insecure.

"You aren't just attractive Lou…" he said defiantly and leaned his head back with a sigh.

"Neither are you! But I don't treat all the women close to you badly because of it."

Bill sighed. He knew they wouldn't get anywhere with this, instead he leaned down so much he could put his chin on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, okay?"

Aurora looked at his big eyes and dragged her finger along the crease under one of them.

"Yeah, yeah. But you must stop being so jealous. It's not good for any of us. Not this girly either." She laid his hand on her lower stomach and it made Bill smile. He moved so he could stand behind her and drag both his hands over her belly.

"Girly?" He said with amusement. He hoped for a son for obvious reasons.

"You can only make girls. All your sperm are girls, that's why you're such a kind, soft man."

Bill made a sound, a mixed sound between a laugh and a grunt but then started to kiss Aurora's neck and dragged his hands up to her chest. They hadn't slept with each other for so long so even if they knew his daughter was up they took the risk and moved to the laundry room to connect.

×××

Aurora was in a bad mood again. This time because of hormones. To make herself calm and happy she watched the most girly comedies she could find but instead of laughing she cried during every cute scene, every happy ending. Bill's daughters looked at her strangely while she ate peanut butter from the jar and drank the awful tea she had gotten from Derwin. Bill tried to occupy his girls with baking and Christmas card making but all of them were a bit too interested in Aurora. She had never acted like that before.

"Is she sick?" Asked his youngest. They made bread for Christmas and she stood on a chair next to him by the counter. His middle daughter stood on the side mixing the dough and his oldest sat by the table making Christmas candy. Bill didn't know how to answer his youngest so he stood for a long time looking out the window.

"It's the operation, right? Tuva's sister got all weird after," said his oldest without looking up from her work.

"Operation?" Bill looked at his oldest daughter confused.

"Mm? The boobs?"

"The boobs?" Asked his youngest and looked down at her own flat chest like the answer would be written there.

"What are you talking about?" Bill said with feigned confusion. He knew what she believed but felt it was best to act like he didn't understand.

"The boob job? Her tits are much bigger! Like, on her it's so obvious because of how petite she is but also because of all her tight clothes. And the video? Her tits were the only thing you're looking at!"

He dragged his hands over his face and could feel his younger daughters' worried eyes on him.

"Aurora has just put on some weight. And her weight was placed at her chest. Okay? And don't ask her about it. It's… sensitive." He said at first annoyed but it turned to pedagogic. He knew it was a better way to reach them than annoyance. His oldest looked at him with a smirk, like she didn't believe him but continued with the candy in silence. His youngest continued to look at her chest.

"When will I get boobs?" She asked her dad. Hopefully never, thought Bill to himself.

"When you're older. Much older," he just said and turned to his middle daughter's baking. He really needed a guy in his family.

While the bread was in the oven, Bill walked out to Aurora who sat and watched the movie Never Been Kissed and had moved the piano keyboard to stand in front of her. Her cheeks were wet with tears and her braids were all messy. The sport bra sat tight over her chest and Bill looked at her chest discreetly before saying hello to her. It actually looked like she had gotten a boob job. By a really great surgeon.

"Hey…" said Aurora and moved the piano keyboard away to make room for him.

"Are you okay?" He sat down next to her and let her put her feet in his lap.

"Yeah, it was just that scene where they're throwing eggs at her… In that awful dress you know?"

Bill smiled a little. He would never have known a few years ago but thanks to Aurora he knew the plot for many high school movies.

"It made you sad?" He asked carefully. He knew he shouldn't make fun of her, then she would be even more hormonal. Aurora nodded and scooted closer to him.

"You know… I really want this baby. Because it's yours. Because obviously it's made with love and not like planned and unromantic. This is a love child."

She dragged her hand over the bump and Bill looked at her with love and hugged her closer.

"So maybe we should do a reveal? I am invited to a late show, maybe I could wear a crop top set and just show off my belly? Like just a bustier kind of thing and a little skirt?"

It was not what Bill expected to hear. This was their pregnancy, no one else's.

"Pink, of course. I think Versace had something in their spring collection…" continued Aurora and took her phone to show him. Bill sat quietly and looked out over the room. Everyone would sexualize her pregnancy. Their pregnancy.

"Look! This is cute, right!" She showed him a pink two piece set with the stomach bare from under the breasts down to the hips. Glittery pink with bare shoulders and long sleeves. White silver sandals with chunky heels. It was a Barbie look, as usual.

"It's not meant for someone pregnant," said Bill with a bored tone.

"They can fix that! I can just call Donatella!" She said more happy than she had sounded all week. Bill didn't want to destroy that so he continued to look at catwalk pictures with her. His ex had started to look at the interior of a baby room at this time in the pregnancy, Aurora was looking at glitter mini skirts and sky high heels. He really tried to not compare because they had just decided to keep the baby but it was hard when he had done this three times before. He dragged his hand over the bump and it made Aurora giggle.

"It tickles!" She said and pushed his hand away while giggling. Bill smirked. He should really not compare because Aurora was Aurora. The sunshine girl, pregnant with their love child. They were just like how she sang in her new song "just as perfect for each other like two cherries on the same stem." It was about them, everyone could listen to how much she loved him but he didn't want everyone to also be a part of them having a baby.

"Can't we just….Try to have it private?" He said softly when Aurora had calmed down from the tickling and sat pressed against his side. Aurora continued to look at the Versace outfit then smiled a little sadly.

"You know we can't…"

"It's easier than you think. We kept the wedding private."

"Yes but that was a day, this is months. And I have press, talk shows and public attendances."

Bill sighed and leaned forward. This was a thing they would always have problems with. Aurora feeling the pressure to be so public. She didn't post much on social media but she just jumped into the press bubble as soon as someone asked. After their wedding she had talked about them and even mentioned his kids on a radio interview. He knew she had more nosy fans and sometimes she needed to say something to just calm the rumors down but it was hard for him, he had decided early in his career to try to keep the spotlight on his performances.

"You know I must. I haven't released any new material for a long time. And I want to. I miss it."

Bill himself wasn't a fan of any of the things she had mentioned but he wasn't as trained as her. She was natural and sweet in the spotlight. Funny and sexy in the talk show chair. He still could get nervous. He actually became more nervous after getting together with a young woman that did everything so graciously. His ex wasn't better than him with press and also got nervous and uptight while Aurora walked into the talk shows with the highest heels and played silly games with the host. Of course she missed it.

"You know, the girls think you have gotten a boob job," said he with fake amusement. He knew it was low. He didn't know why he said it, or he did know, he knew he said it to maybe make her feel put off from the spotlight but he felt bad at once. Fuck, he really needed to work at this pocessiveness.

"But it's probably just them. They're kids," he said, trying to smooth it over. Aurora was quiet and Bill hugged her to his side again, afraid he had hurt her.

"No. I put up a silly video of my yoga yesterday and like a million people asked if I've gotten a boob job. But that's what I mean! I can't hide this!" She motioned to her chest and belly. "I should just be open with it." She turned her gaze down to her phone again and continued to look at more pictures of the Versace look. It wasn't what Bill had expected to hear at all but she was right. They would never be able to do this privately even if he wanted to. Maybe if she was on a break but she was releasing a new song on Friday. A new song, pictures and the concept for her new album. In four weeks she would go to L.A. and do press for it. Everyone would see how her body had changed.

×××

Two weeks later they sat opposite Bill's ex in her kitchen. Her and Bill's old kitchen. Aurora didn't like being there because even if she was Bill's wife it felt like walking into something that wasn't completely ended. His ex has pictures of all five of them together and also a collage their oldest daughter made when she was younger of a picture of her and Bill embracing. His ex had given her a tour once, showing her their daughters' room but also pointing out nostalgic stuff in the apartment. Aurora had looked at the bed and wondered if it was the same as when Bill lived there. It had been six years ago now since they separated so she hoped, for his ex's sake, she had bought a new one.

Now they were here in secret while the kids were at school. Bill still tried to be less intimate with Aurora when they met with his ex, just out of respect so he didn't even have his hand on her thigh. Aurora had been annoyed in the beginning that he couldn't just touch her, hold her but she could now see how it would be a bit much. There was no reason for them to shove their happiness in her face, especially not now when she was single again and they were married with a baby on the way.

"We must tell the kids before they hear it from another source. But of course, we want to have your opinion on this," said Bill to his ex. Aurora sat quiet and looked at his ex with big brown eyes. Bill's ex had accepted her but there were many things that annoyed her; the giggle, the fame, everyone's interested in her, the cute outfits, her height, the perfect manicured nails but maybe mostly the doe eyed look. She shook her head of annoyance when Aurora looked at Bill and he gave her a calming, loving look.

"Fine but… I heard about Halloween. Bill, I don't know what's affecting you so negatively but you can't be in fights. The kids don't need that."

"They don't know any…"

"What do you mean by that? 'What's affecting him negatively'? If you mean that I affect him negatively you can say it!" Aurora was upset. Bill looked at her shocked. She wasn't a confrontational person at all but maybe the person inside of her was. His ex looked just as shocked at Aurora and laughed nervously.

"It was a stupid jealous thing. Bill is the same as he has always been, just protective," continued Aurora with an attitude and leaned back in the chair with crossed arms like a teenager. Bill smiled a bit uncomfortably and looked between his wife and his ex-girlfriend who looked at Aurora with raised brows and at Bill like she expected him to react the same.

"It's just that. Bill isn't jealous. Right? You are not jealous?" Said his ex.

Bill sat quietly because he knew the answer to the question but didn't know how to say it.

"I'm not the jealous type but it's… Different with Aurora…" he heard himself, how it sounded but looked at his wife who he couldn't see a flaw on and knew he couldn't say it another way.

"It's not just me that thinks she's perfect…" he said with a low voice, his thoughts running out his mouth like liquid. Aurora turned her eyes towards Bill and smiled at him with love. Her eyes were shiny and he understood it was more difficult than he had understood to control her hormones while together with his ex. His ex looked at them with disgust but in reality it was hurt feelings. He had never fought for her, never seen other men as a threat but with Aurora he acted like a knight in shining armor.

"So when will you tell them?" She asked so Bill and Aurora would stop looking at each other with sugar sweet lovey dovey eyes. Bill turned to her but took Aurora's hand in his so she would calm down.

"I guess tomorrow night, at dinner. We have a doctor's appointment today we want to go to before. You know, ultra sound and such things," said he and tried to hide the smile that wanted to burst in his face. His ex knew how much he loved that part but wondered how much he would love it with Aurora then. She sighed but smiled. She had accepted Aurora. Even if she was just a kid compared to Bill but she was good with their kids and was sweet and kind. Except now.

"Okay, okay… But, no more fights. And remember that they can't keep a secret," She said about the kids, she believed Bill would smile knowingly at her, an inside joke, instead he just sat and watched his wife like she was made of gold and diamonds.

Bill and Aurora walked hand in hand directly from his ex to the woman’s clinic. Bill smirked to himself and rubbed his eye over and over and Aurora looked at him with a questioning smile. Bill thought about something, something that made him smirk but also looked a bit embarrassed.

"What is it?" Aurora asked with a silly whiny voice and played with his hand between both of hers. Bill exhaled deeply with a smile and then looked down at Aurora. He rubbed his eye again and with his thumb and forefinger he wiped the corners of his mouth.

"It's just… It's silly really," said Bill but stopped talking to watch the blue sky. "How in love I am with you. I didn't believe I could be like this. No one believed that, probably. And…" He shifted between smiling and furrowed his brows in confusion. "And, fuck. I should really check myself so it doesn't spill out in front of others."

Aurora gave him a warm smile but with a hint of disappointment.

"I want you to be messingly in love with me in front of others too. I know you have been all private and collected with your love life before… " she thought back to his ex's face while she watched Bill be dopy in love. "But we have more than that. Our love is too big to be that sort of love. I know your love for me spills over just like my love for you spills over. My love for you is my fuel. I can't hide it."

They had stopped outside the women's clinic and Aurora pressed her body against Bill's. Everything she said was true, for her it was so easy to always let love guide her and Bill felt he might have started to do the same. He bent down and took a passionate grip of her face with both hands and gave her a knee weakening kiss. It was silly, all of it, for him still confusing and overwhelming. And now they had a baby on its way.

Aurora sat in the examination chair with her shirt pulled up and her high waisted pants unbuttoned. Bill sat next to her and together they waited on the doctor. Bill dragged his hand over the little bump on Aurora's belly, that was bigger and rounder, while they waited.

"It's nice to see you again," said the same doctor they had met when they thought about having an abortion. Aurora smiled a little but felt shame when she thought back at that moment. Now it felt so natural to keep the baby even if she had never been able to see herself as a mother before.

"So week 19, the time goes fast. I understand it has been a lot for you these past weeks but it's good you're here for a check up now," said the doctor as they fixed the monitor.

"Yeah, hopefully in a few weeks the both of us can go into a slower pace," said Bill and took Aurora's hand instead of having it on her belly.

"That sounds good," said the doctor with a broad smile. Aurora smiled too but it didn't seem completely genuine and it wasn't. She didn't want to go at a slower pace. She wanted to meet people, dance and have passionate hard sex. She didn't want to lean back and be a baby machine, she wanted to show off her belly but also make use of her last moments childless well.

The doctor dragged the ultrasound wand over Aurora's stomach and Aurora looked at her husband instead of the screen. His eyes were big and round while watching the movement on the screen. She smiled a little because of his excitement. She couldn't really see what was so special with an ultrasound but it was special to see him like that. He was so childlike even as he tried to see his fourth child on the screen.

"And there… There it is…" said the doctor. Aurora continued to look at Bill. She could see his pupils move fast but focused on the screen and how the white of his eyes got shiny. He smiled with an open mouth in wonder and moved closer to the screen while playing with her hand in his. Aurora smiled amused at him but didn't look at the screen, she wasn't that interested. All ultrasounds look the same, while her husband's face changed every day and had hundreds of different expressions. Bill turned towards his wife and met her eyes. She giggled a little and shook her head.

"What?" He said and smiled but his eyes were still glossy.

"You're so sensitive," she joked and continued to giggle. Bill smiled amused but turned his eyes towards the screen again. He was mesmerized and just wanted to see the baby's movement. He heard Aurora giggle and after a while he turned to her. She still watched him.

"Are you looking at the screen?" He said with a confused smile. Aurora shrugged her shoulders and gave the screen just a quick glance.

"Isn't it amazing?" Said Bill and smiled carefully. He felt the worry in his belly because of her behavior. Didn't she want this?

Aurora looked at the screen and shrugged her shoulders. She looked at the screen uninterested until she saw the baby actually move and a foot looked like it came kicking towards the screen. Aurora got goosebumps and shook her head with a smile. Tears had started to run down her cheeks and now Bill looked at her in fascination instead. He got it now. She still believed she wasn't like other women, like she wouldn't be as emotional. She wasn't a baby person but now she realized that she was a person that had a fascination for her own baby.

"That's…" She cried so much she couldn't talk now and Bill moved closer to her.

"That's our baby…" she cried and continued to look at the screen. That was really a baby. Their child. Maybe she hadn't wanted children before but now she doesn't want anything else than this baby. She wished she could have it in her arms right then and there.

×××

Bill and Aurora stood backstage on the talk show. A makeup artist made her perfectly glowing while her hair laid in long blown out curls and held back with a thick hair band in the same shade as her dress. Bill smiled at her, because she was so gorgeous but also because she had skipped that two piece Versace outfit. Instead she had a short silky dress in baby pink that showed off her bump. Every person backstage had graduated them, Bill was more comfortable with it then Aurora. She didn't really like that people examined her body up close but smiled like it wasn't a problem. Aurora smiled back at Bill who sat on a high chair next to the make up mirror. They had asked if he also wanted to be a part of the interview but he felt it was a little too private to welcome questions to them both, like they were a part of a reality show. Aurora looked Bill up and down. She had a horny period and watched his biceps in his black button up, his big hands on his thick thighs. She had seen how the stylists looked at him, his height, the hypnotic eyes. She understood people hadn't realized how handsome he actually was until he stood in front of them.

"Aurora?" He said with a smirk when he saw her look at him that way. He knew she was in a horny period, it was obvious because she pushed her ass against his crotch as soon as they were alone.

"Hm?" She said distantly.

"Simone is talking to you." He nodded towards the make-up artist who smiled amused. It wasn't often she met a couple that so obviously thought filth about each other with her in the room.

"I asked how Christmas and New Years were."

"Oh," Aurora smiled and dragged a hand over her belly. "Great. Great." She looked at Bill who smiled warmly at her. It had been special because of her big birthday party in London and then Christmas where his daughters had got the best gift ever. A sibling. Because of her pregnancy his two youngest wanted to be close to her all the time and if they couldn't they got angry, while Aurora's mother stressed about the nursing room, baby clothes and girl names. They did New Years without kids and celebrated it with her friends in New York. Rappers and pop girlies. Bill felt a bit uncomfortable in the beginning of their relationship in the crowd but had found his place now, even if he became a bit of a wise dad with the young guys. He didn't mind it, he was older. Aurora talked with Simone about Christmas and New Years while people dragged her from all directions. When Bill did TV performances it never was such a big thing. With Aurora there were several stylists, PR people and a voice coach surrounding her. Bill himself became annoyed at all the people but Aurora just stood in the middle and let stylists preen her hair and body parts, PR people reading the script and her voice coach helping her do voice exercises. Bill just sat on his high chair and hoped it would be over soon.

He got a bit nervous when he sat in front of a screen backstage. The leather couch he sat on was uncomfortable and the coffee he had gotten was more or less just water. He looked at the screen, seeing the host talk about his girl and knew she stood behind the door listening to the audience's cheers. He was rarely nervous like this but he knew what questions Aurora would get. About her pregnancy, about their marriage and then about the new record. He knew what Aurora would say and it was nothing weird at all. The only thing he was nervous for really was the lift. They would talk about her and Bill's height difference and then talk about how she climbed him like a tree and then she would show the host.

Bill looked at Aurora in her cute little outfit, took off her high heels and stood up by the host that said a funny comment about her height then they moved away to the open floor next to the host's desk. She explained how she used to put her feet on Bill's thigh and how he would bend it and then straighten it out so she came up and could put her other leg on his hip. Aurora and the host had practice on it, Bill had even been there to show how easily she climbs him and how he is there at once to catch her.

Aurora and the host stood in profile so it wouldn't be as easy for the crowd to look under Aurora's dress and stiffly they made the lift. Aurora just giggled at it all and Bill smiled to himself. She was a natural. He was proud of her, oh so proud but he was afraid of what would happen now, when everyone knew they were having a baby.

×××

"No… It was not too much. It was fun. And you looked amazing," said Bill with a big smile. They sat close together in the limo, back home to their suite at the luxury hotel. Aurora had taken off her heels and laid up her legs in Bill's lap and he dragged his hand between her waist and the bump. He didn't remember his ex having such a big bump already in week 22 but he guessed it was because of Aurora's size. Sometimes he was nervous that the baby's coming from him would be too big for her body. Maybe it wasn't logical but he still got a little nervous when he saw how fast Aurora's body changed.

Aurora smiled at his words and kissed him. He kissed her right after and just like that they made out passionately. Aurora could hear Bill's heavy breathing and how he started to grow in his slacks. It was all a real turn on and she could feel herself get really wet by his kisses and sounds. She felt a stab in her belly, probably pre period cramps so she didn't think about it. Sex would always solve that. She had felt it a bit before and during filming too but she could get a belly ache when she was excited. She felt how the pain grew and was forced to take a break. Did you really get period cramps when you were pregnant? And did this even feel like period cramps?

Bill looked at Aurora's pained face and tried to catch her eyes.

"Hey hey… What is it?" He asked softly and dragged his hands over her shoulders.

Right then the pain went from something she could handle to something that took over. She made a loud sound of pain and leaned her head back. Bill watched her face in worry and took a fast look down to her belly and then he saw it. On the front of Aurora's baby pink dress was a red stain that grew while he was looking at it.

×

[torturedalbatross]

surprise songs

usa 🇺🇸

1. mirrorball & Tim McGraw

2. this is me trying & State of Grace

3. Our Song & Snow On The Beach

4. cowboy like me & White Horse

5. Sad Beautiful Tragic & Ours

6. Death By A Thousand Cuts & Clean

7. Jump Then Fall & The Lucky One

8. Speak Now & Treacherous

9. The Great War & You’re On Your Own, Kid

10. mad woman & Mean

11. Wonderland & You’re Not Sorry

12. A Place In This World & Today Was A Fairytale

13. Begin Again & Cold As You

14. The Other Side Of The Door & coney island

15. High Infidelity & Gorgeous

16. I Bet You Think About Me & How You Get The Girl

17. Sparks Fly & Teardrops On My Guitar

18. Out Of The Woods & Fifteen

19. Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve & Mine

20. gold rush & Come Back…Be Here

21. Forever & Always & This Love

22. Hey Stephen & The Best Day

23. Should’ve Said No & Better Man

24. Question…? & Invisible

25. I Think He Knows & Red

26. Getaway Car & Maroon

27. Holy Ground & False God

28. Welcome To New York & Clean

29. I Wish You Would & the lakes

30. You All Over Me & I Don’t Wanna Live Forever

31. Hits Different & The Moment I Knew

32. Haunted & I Almost Do

33. All You Had To Do Was Stay & Breathe

34. Mr. Perfectly Fine & The Last Time

35. seven & The Story Of Us

36. Paper Rings & If This Was A Movie

37. Dear John & Daylight

38. I’m Only Me When I’m With You & evermore

39. ivy & I Miss You, I’m Sorry & Call It What You Want

40. Never Grow Up & When Emma Falls in Love

41. Last Kiss & dorothea

42. Picture To Burn & Timeless

43. Starlight & Back To December

44. This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things & Everything Has Changed

45. Tied Together With A Smile & Message In A Bottle

46. Right Where You Left Me & Castles Crumbling

47. Stay Stay Stay & All Of The Girls You Loved Before

48. I Can See You & Maroon

49. Our Song & You Are In Love

50. Death By A Thousand Cuts & You’re On Your Own, Kid

51. Dress & exile

52. I Know Places & King Of My Heart

53. New Romantics & New Year’s Day

mexico 🇲🇽

54. I Forgot That You Existed & Sweet Nothing

55. Tell Me Why & Snow On The Beach

56. Cornelia Street & You’re On Your Own, Kid

57. Afterglow & Maroon

argentina 🇦🇷

58. The Very First Night & Labyrinth

59. Is It Over Now?/ Out Of The Woods & End Game

60. Better Than Revenge & “Slut!”

brasil 🇧🇷

61. Stay Beautiful & Suburban Legends

62. Dancing With Our Hands Tied & Bigger Than The Whole Sky

63. ME! & So It Goes…

64. Now That We Don’t Talk & Innocent

65. Safe & Sound & Untouchable

66. Say Don’t Go & it’s time to go

japan 🇯🇵

67. Dear Reader & Holy Ground

68. Eyes Open & Electric Touch

69. Superman & The Outside

70. Come In With The Rain & You’re On Your Own, Kid

australia 🇦🇺

71. Red & You’re Losing Me

72. Getaway Car/ august/ The Other Side of the Door & this is me trying

73. Come Back… Be Here/ Daylight & Teardrops On My Guitar

74. How You Get The Girl & White Horse/ coney island

75. Should’ve Said No/ You’re Not Sorry & New Year’s Day/ peace

76. Is It Over Now?/ I Wish You Would & Haunted/ exile

77. Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve/ ivy & Forever & Always/ Maroon

singapore 🇸🇬

78. Mine/ Starlight & I Don’t Wanna Live Forever/ Dress

79. long story short/ The Story Of Us & Clean/ evermore

80. Foolish One/ Tell Me Why & This Love/ Call It What You Want

81. Death By A Thousand Cuts/ Babe & Fifteen/ You’re On Your Own, Kid

82. Sparks Fly/ gold rush & False God/ “Slut!”

83. Tim McGraw/ cowboy like me & mirrorball/ epiphany

france 🇫🇷

84. Paris & loml

85. Is It Over Now?/ Out Of The Woods & My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys

86. Hey Stephen & Maroon

87. The Alchemy/ Treacherous & Begin Again/ Paris

sweden 🇸🇪

88. I Think He Knows/ Gorgeous & Peter

89. Guilty as Sin? & Say Don’t Go/ Welcome To New York/ Clean

90. Message in a Bottle/ How You Get The Girl/ New Romantics & How Did It End?

portugal 🇵🇹

91. Come Back… Be Here/ The Way I Loved You/ The Other Side of the Door & Fresh Out The Slammer/ High Infidelity

92. The Tortured Poets Department/ Now That We Don’t Talk & You’re On Your Own, Kid/ Long Live

spain 🇪🇸 

93. Sparks Fly/ I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) & I Look in People’s Windows/ Snow On The Beach

94. Our Song/ Jump Then Fall & King Of My Heart

france (reprise) 🇫🇷

95. The Prophecy/ Long Story Short & Fifteen/ You’re On Your Own, Kid

96. Glitch/ Everything Has Changed & Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

united kingdom 🇬🇧

97. Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve/ I Know Places & ‘tis the damn season/ Daylight

98. The Bolter/ Getaway Car & All Of The Girls You Loved Before/ Crazier

99. It’s Nice To Have A Friend/ dorothea & Haunted/ exile

100. I Can See You/ Mine & Cornelia Street/ Maroon

101. This Is What You Came For/ gold rush & The Great War/ You’re Losing Me

102. Carolina/ No Body, No Crime & The Manuscript/ Red

103. This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things/ I Forgot That You Existed & I Hate It Here/ the lakes

104. Hits Different/ Death By A Thousand Cuts & The Black Dog/ Come Back…Be Here/ Maroon

105. thanK you aIMee/ Mean & Castles Crumbling (feat. Hayley Williams)

106. us. & Out Of The Woods/ Is It Over Now?/ Clean

ireland 🇮🇪

107. State Of Grace/ You’re On Your Own, Kid & Sweet Nothing/ hoax

108. The Albatross/ Dancing With Our Hands Tied & This Love/ Ours

109. Clara Bow/ The Lucky One & You’re On Your Own, Kid

netherlands 🇳🇱

110. Guilty as Sin?/ Untouchable & The Archer/ Question…?

111. imgonnagetyouback/ Dress & You Are In Love/ cowboy like me

112. Sweeter Than Fiction/ Holy Ground & Mary’s Song/ So High School/ Everything Has Changed

switzerland 🇨🇭

113. Right Where You Left Me/ All You Had To Do Was Stay & Last Kiss/ Sad Beautiful Tragic

114. closure/ A Perfectly Good Heart & Robin/ Never Grow Up

italy 🇮🇹

115. the 1/ Wonderland & I Almost Do/ The Moment I Knew

116. Mr. Perfectly Fine/ Red & Getaway Car/ Out Of The Woods

germany 🇩🇪

117. Superstar/ invisible string & “Slut!”/ False God

118. Speak Now/ Hey Stephen & this is me trying/ Labyrinth

119. Paper Rings/ Stay Stay Stay & it’s time to go/ Better Man

120. Teardrops On My Guitar/ The Last Time & happiness/ We Were Happy

121. the last great american dynasty/ Run & Nothing New/ Dear Reader

122. Fresh Out The Slammer/ You Are In Love & ivy/ Call It What You Want

123. I Don’t Wanna Live Forever/ imgonnagetyouback & loml/ Don’t You

poland 🇵🇱

124. mirrorball/ Clara Bow & Suburban Legends/ New Year’s Day

125. I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)/ I Can See You & Red/ Maroon

126. Today Was A Fairytale/ I Think He Knows & The Black Dog/ exile

uk (reprise) 🇬🇧

127. Everything Has Changed/ End Game/ Thinking Out Loud feat. Ed Sheeran & King Of My Heart/ The Alchemy

128. London Boy & Dear John/ Sad Beautiful Tragic

129. I Did Something Bad & My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys/ coney island

130. Long Live/ Change & The Archer/ You’re On Your Own, Kid

131. Death By A Thousand Cuts/ Getaway Car & So Long, London

usa (reprise) 🇺🇸

132. Tim McGraw/ Timeless & this is me trying/ Daylight

133. Should’ve Said No/ I Did Something Bad & loml/ White Horse

134. Out Of The Woods/ All You Had To Do Was Stay & mirrorball/ Guilty As Sin?

135. Our Song/ Call It What You Want & The Black Dog/ Haunted

136. Espresso/ Is It Over Now?/ Please Please Please & Hits Different/ Welcome To New York

137. Afterglow/ Dress & How You Get The Girl/ Clean

138. The Albatross/ Holy Ground & Cold As You/ exile

139. The Prophecy/ This Love & Maroon/ cowboy like me

140. Cornelia Street/ The Bolter & Death By A Thousand Cuts/ The Great War

canada 🇨🇦

141.

[ilyasorokinn]

if you can, a blurb of samuel ersson <3 (free to do what u want, i would just like to read smth you've written for him)

BIRTHDAY SURPRISE

whoever sent this in, i love you <3 i still love him even if he didn't take my bracelet lmao

you felt lightheaded as you pulled the balloon away from your mouth and tied it off, "how many are left?" your friend asked from the other end of the couch, tying off her own balloon.

"well, we've got 10 here right now, the ones we blew up makes 12, so only 21 more to go." she fell back on the couch and groaned.

"we're gonna pass out before we get this done." she looked over at you, "they could have done this at party city, ya know?"

"yeah, i'm realzing that now." you sighed.

"you know what? i'll go tomorrow for you and get them done, just so we can stop blowing them up before we die."

"really?"

"really. that's how much i love sam." she patted you on the back, "21 more balloons, 11 orange, 10 black, and 2 3s."

"i love you." you sighed, setting down your balloon and leaning back, "i miss sam."

she groaned, "you'll see him tomorrow."

"i know, but that's so far away."

"get over it." she tossed a pillow in your direction, which you caught and then promptly threw back at her.

the next day after work, you got home to find all the balloons already in your apartment. you shot your friend a quick text then set them up in the way you thought looked nice.

you set up the birthday banner and hung it up, then brought the cake out of the fridge and set it up, centering it with all the gifts you got for sam around it. you then ordered sam's favorite food and waited for him to get home.

a few hours later, you had dug into the food already, but you heard the lock turn and your head whipped over just in time to see sam coming through the door.

"your home!" you jumped off the couch and ran over to greet him. he smiled, catching you when you jumped into his arms, "happy birthday."

"thank you, love." he hummed, running a soothing hand up and down your back, "i missed you."

"i missed you, too." you pulled away and looked at him, brushing a stray piece of hair out of his face, "i got you some stuff."

"what kind of stuff?" he asked, setting you down on the ground. you grabbed his hand and led him into the kitchen where he finally caught a glimpse of the banner and all 33 balloons hanging up, "whoa." he let out a chuckle.

"happy birthday, sammy." you kissed his cheek.

"thank you." he hummed, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. you took the cake out and pressed a candle into it, lighting it for him.

you smiled as you sang to him, enjoying the bashful look on his face. he blew it out with a smile on his face when you cheered for him. once the cake was cut into, you watched him open his gifts.

"just some small things because i got you one big thing but it hasn't arrived yet."

"y/n..." he sighed.

"stop, you literally got me concert tickets, so one big thing is acceptable." you playfully glared at him, watching him open the gift. he smiled and profusely thanked you when he opened each gift, a simple pair of cufflinks with his initals, a new hoodie that he had been eying for a while, and a few gag gifts. a shirt with your face on it and a pin that read 'i <3 my gf!' that he immediately put on his backpack.

"open the envelope," you told him, pushing it towards him. he opened it with a raised brow and a confused look. he opened it and read what it said before looking up at you with wideeyes.

"are you serious?" he asked.

"yeah, trips planned for off-season." you smiled with a nod, a smile on your face at the excitement on his, "we're going to sweden!" you cheered.

"oh, my god!" he jumped up and picked you up, spinning you around. you laughed, wrapping your arms around him tighter, "this is insane!"

"you've been talking abot going home, and i know we didn't get to go to sweden this summer, so we're going next year. i planned the whole thing with your family already."

"i love you." he placed a sweet kiss to your forehead as you hugged you tight.

"i love you, too." you hummed happily.

requests are open!

[woso-dreamzzz]

Reunion

Charli Grant x Reader

Summary: Your girlfriend moves to Spurs

"You've got a spring in your step today," The media girl laughed as you came bounding into the reception area," What's up?"

"My girlfriend's joining today," You said with the widest smile you could muster on your face," Did you know? I'm so excited! Charli's amazing, you'll see!"

You bounced into the changing room with an extra pep in your step.

"What's up with you?" Grace asked as you got changed in record time and stood by the door, rocking back and forth impatiently.

"Charli's here today," You replied, not taking your eyes off the door.

"Didn't you see her earlier today?" Grace rolled her eyes in amusement. "I mean, aren't you guys living together?"

"We will be," You confirmed, still waiting by the door," But she crashed at Kyra's place last night. They were having a catch up. It's her first day anyway, it's fine to be excited."

"You're probably more excited than Charli is."

"Who's more excited than me?"

You leapt into your girlfriend's arms instantly. Her hands naturally curled around you, supporting your weight as she wandered over to her assigned cubby.

As she let you down, her lips followed you. Kisses were pressed all over your face as you helped her unbutton her shirt and pull on her new Spurs training top.

Grace whistled behind you both, a low sardonic note as she stared with raised brows. "Oh god," She muttered to Martha," Look at them. They're codependent!"

Your cry of," We're not codependent!" was somewhat dampened by the way that you helped Charli into each of her boots and then helped to tie her hair back.

"You look codependent."

"We're not codependent!" Both you and Charli exclaimed and you inwardly chuckled.

Oh yes, Charli would fit in well with your team.

You missed her a lot while she was in Sweden. You used to play there too which was where you met her. You'd been picked up by Vittsjö almost as soon as you'd left the Spurs academy at eighteen.

At the time, the Spurs team was stacked and they didn't need an inexperienced player like you. You'd received a few offers from teams that weren't in the WSL but when Vittsjö came knocking with more money than you had ever seen and guaranteed game time, you'd gotten on the first plane to Sweden you could find.

You'd been pretty settled in the team by the time that Charli joined, with her good looks and Aussie charm.

It hadn't taken a long time at all for you to couple up. You'd been moved in with each other within the week of your first date (a total cliche, you knew) and were sharing clothes within the hour.

Charli was practically your dream girl in everything she did or said and you were very happy to hang off her arm or be encased in a hug by her if it meant that you just got to soak in her attention just a brief moment longer.

It was the hardest moment of your life a year and a half ago making the move back to England. Spurs were your dream club though. They had been your aim for years now. It crushed you when they didn't want you after you finished your academy training but it was probably the best thing that happened to you.

It brought you Vittsjö and it brought you, more importantly, Charli.

You hadn't thought that Spurs was still watching you until you received the offer to play for them again. It felt like ripping your heart straight out of your chest when you read over the email with the contract.

It was Charli that convinced you to go. She had sat you down one night, listened to how you sobbed over the decision, agonising about leaving her but still wanting to return to England to play for Spurs.

She was the one that spurred on your decision.

She was the one who drove you to the airport and pressed one last lingering kiss to your lips.

It wasn't a goodbye.

Just a see you later.

You flew out to Sweden every chance you got. You curled yourself into Charli's arms whenever you could.

And, now that she was at your club, you could do it at any time you wanted.

Maybe Grace was right.

Maybe you were a tad codependent.

But, honestly, you would have it any other way.

[eyes-of-rock]

Where you going now?

Jack Blades X OC

Summary: Ren was the bassist of a big 80’s band but now it's the 90s and her band broke up. Now she's back in her hometown and she's lost. Where does she go from here?

Note: If people like this I can write a lot based on this! So just let me know!

Nothing has felt the same since I came back. Then again nothing is the same. I was in a successful band, we were touring the world and sold millions of records and now it's all over. Just like that one argument too many and the landscape of music changed and it's over.

Now I'm back in the same Swedish town I grew up in. The one I wanted so desperately to escape and did, only to come back. I missed it. Or at least I thought I did.

I felt some kind of emptiness when the band ended. When the thing I decided all the last ten years of life too came crashing down. I didn't know what to do now. I needed a break.

Then I found out step mother had passed. Leaving my dad and my younger four sisters alone. I realized I couldn't let them grieve alone. I had to be there for them.

So I came back here. I thought maybe this time it would be different I wouldn't want to run. I'd seen the world and I'd lived in a different place. Yet I still want to run. It doesn't feel like home anymore. Yet I don't know where does.

Deep down I do, but it's not a place it's a person. Someone I left behind in America. It was a mistake. I shouldn't have run. I’m just do used to heartache and the distance. The distance. God the distance. It was okay when I lived in L.A. while doing one of our albums, but I knew once I left it could never be. I can't make him his home and I can't be with him. I have to be with my family.

I wish things were different I wish I didn't have to let him go. It's funny to think I would never have met him I didn't start my band. I would never have been on that tour that brought us together and I would never have been in America.

I love my family. I love my dad. He raised me as a single father till I was ten. He worked his ass off to give me the best life possible and taught me everything I know. He never discouraged me. Even if it was ridiculous to think a girl from Sweden could be a rockstar. He is my number one fan. Hell, he made a whole shrine to me in our house.

I have nothing but love and respect for him. Yet I know I've outgrown this place. I had back when I left and nothing has changed. Sure it will always be a part of me but it's not me anymore. I just need to figure out my next move and stop pining for the man I left behind.

“Ren!” I hear my dad call up the stairs.

“I’m coming down Dad!” I call back making my way out of my childhood room and down the stairs.

“Yes, Dad?” I ask looking up and nearly gasping from shock.

There in my childhood home's living room. Sitting right on the couch was Jack Blades. The very American boy I had been pining after minutes before.

This must be a dream. He can't really be here. Why would he come all the way here? Oh my god, he can't even speak Swedish how did he find me?

“Jack,” I manage through the shock. “Why are you here?”

“To see you, Ren.” He says looking at me, getting up and walking a few steps closer.

“How did you find me?” I ask, I mean I never told him the address and Sweden is a big country.

“I called him.” my dad speaks up from behind me. What? How did he- then I remembered.

It was a few nights ago. I was being melancholy as always. Of course, my dad noticed. He asked me what was going on and I told him I was just missing someone. Now my dad being my dad managed to pry it out of me.

I didn't expect he’d somehow find his number and call him up. I can only imagine Jack’s reaction to that phone call. That he'd get Jack here. Hell, I figured he'd leave it be. After all, it is a guy and my dad hasn't always been into the idea of me and guys.

I remember when he didn't like me being in my band because it consisted of 4 other guys and me. Some of which are older than me. Mind you I was like sixteen when I joined. Now I'm in my late 20’s.

“I miss you, Ren,” Jack says, and I miss him too of course but I did what I had to do.

“I miss you too,” I tell him. “I just can't leave them.” As much as I'd love to go with him and be with him, I can't leave. Not now.

“Yes, you can Ren.” My dad says firmly in his dad I mean business voice. “We’ll be fine. You’ll never be happy here. You haven't even picked up a bass or made a song. You aren't yourself.”

The truth is I won't be. He's right. I miss playing. I stopped because I got so disenchanted with it all. After everything that happened. After the band I worked on for ten years fell apart I lost myself. I came here trying to relive something. The youth I no longer have, but I'm not that girl anymore. All I ever wanted to do was leave and that hasn't changed. I'm just lost.

I want to keep making music I just don't know how and I don't know if anyone would want to hear it. That’s what scares me most. Doing something for it to become nothing.

“Ren. I'm going on tour in and few weeks. Please come.” Jack asks me, he hasn't let go of my hand since he took it.

I know as much as I love my family staying here isn't how I find myself again. That's all I want, to find myself again. In the last year, I lost me and I want her back.

“I’ll come,” I tell Jack. I think it's the right choice. Plus he came all this way for me he deserves this. I mean California is along way from Stockholm. I also want to be with him. I know that now. I've always known that but I think being apart has made me realize it more. I don't want to not have him in my life. I'm ready to start my new life with him in it.

[tsatsuma69]

EUROVISON SEMI FINALS PT.1

welcome to my heaviliy biased reaction/review :)

its a long one

CROATIA 7/10:

these old men dance funky and fuck nasty

its tacky. its camp. its eurovison

mama ;)

love mr missile man

!STRIP!STRIP!STRIP!STRIP!

vocals could have been stronger + old men could have been more naked

7/10

FINLAND 10/10:

Finland slays as always

VERY cunty

FINLAND WINS LITTLE MISS HEAVY QUEER TECHNO RAVE

love the lil crab dance

wonderful human centipede reference

i know who im voting for in the final

!!!!CHA!CHA!CHA!CHA!CHA!CHA!CHA!!!!

now this is eurovison

10/10 !!CUNT!!

GERMANY 9/10:

GAY GLITTERY VIOLENCE SO SLAY

they rlly got a latex vampire and fucking balls to the wall went for it

scream for me bbgorl

capitol fashion vibes

very eurovison

9/10

ITALY 3/10:

the first of the ballads

very eurovison /neg

(trampolies had me giggling)

glitter doesnt = slay. get better.

he did put his whole pussy into that

it wasnt enough tho

3/10 sure was a ballad bb

NORWAY 7/10:

it's giving Anne boylen????

odd take but slay

solid banger

a whistle note doesnt get u a win bb

eurovison approved :)

7/10

SERBIA 6/10:

go, twink! go!

serbia bringing the drama, slay

hewwo? game owver ;)

i see ur vison. its euro.

I liked his little giggle at the end

6/10

MALTA 4/10:

busting out some sexy sax

are those cardboard cut outs???

bitch dress fancier this is eurovison

!! road trip with the boys !!

theyre having fun in ikea

DID HE JUST DAB

4/10

LATVIA 2/10:

immidaitly funky

ew nevermind

okay wait…?

ew no

mid.

this is eurovison bring the pizazz or go home

2/10

PORTUGAL 8/10:

OH ITS GIVING !! SOMETHING!!! HELLO !!!!

portugal bringing the drama

red <3

could have gone harder. still slayed

7/10

IRELAND 2/10:

please dont be a ballad

fuck. okay. thank god.

stop making eye contact, twink

nice flares its giving knock off glitter elvis

drummer is having fun :)

i didnt like it

2/10

SWITZERLAND 1/10:

ew ballad :(

famously neutral country singing about not wanting to be being a soldier and war casulties

okay…. of all the countries… bbgorl

fun lil outfits.doesnt save u

unfortunatly i think eurovison wil eat this shit up

1/10

FRANCE 6/10:

NEVERMIND france brought the drama

oh the GLAMORE oh the DRAMA oh the EUROVISON

that sure is a Dress

!!SHOULDER PAD ALERT!!

mmmm its good but falls a little flat 4 me

wait where did her dress go

6/10

ISRAEL 4/10:

immidiate DRAMA

ourple :)

unicorn. we're sticking with that…. okay.

guys i think we wanna see her dance

4/10

MOLDOVA 6/10:

u were so good last year dont let me down

okay pop off king

hehe eyeball

love the drums and the headpieces :)

!! HELLO FUNKY FLUTE MAN !!

a bop

6/10

SWEDEN 5/10:

i want her to scratch my back with those nails

……im getting abba vibes???? sounds a little bit like the winner takes it all at the beginning

sweden, sweden, sweden smh

OH the drama of a hydrollic press

cracking vocals crickey well done

5/10

AZERBAIJAN 2/10:

pippin and merri made it to eurovision and theyre indi twinks now

its.okay.

was….that….it….?

2/10

CZECHIA 5/10:

oh this is fun

pink <3

swing em babes

uncanny clone doll vibes /pos

they know their audience (its me and i love barbie)

feminism :)

5/10

NETHERLANDS 2/10:

i just know ur gonna let me down

lo and behold i was right

another fucking ballad

STOP MAKING EYE CONTACT

ew straight people at eurovison

nevermind i think theyre lesbains

but that wont save them

god uses she/her pronouns :)

2/10 forgettable

ballad count: 3

best: Finland

worst: Switzerland

who made it thru:

Croatia :P

Moldova

Switzerland >:(

Findland !!!! :D

Czechia <3

Israel

Portugal :)

Sweden

Serbia (go!twink!go!)

Norway

final thoughts:

GERMANY WAS ROBBED!!! ROBBED !!!!!!!!!!!

i am being so normal about this <3

[talking-tarantula]

Hi! God I missed you so much!) Welcome back!

Thanks! And sorry for getting to answering this late!

Lots have been going on actually in the life outside of Tumblr. I was in Sweden for two and a half month without any Wi-fi and got my hip placed back in place properly.

It was out of place, due to a hiking accident seven years ago and the doctors (of course 🙄) didn't find a thing and didn't know what's wrong with me, when even I could feel a the bone of my hip sticking up against my skin and against my right groin bone.

Due to always only laying around and pumping myself full of strong painkillers (that didn't even help and were very bad for my heart) to at least cope with the daily pain a little better, I got scoliosis and my muscles in legs and back went pretty much bye-bye, which is why I'm still quite unstable and have to wear a corset (which is annoying).

I've also had water in my thighs. In fact, so much that I couldn't even bend my knees properly anymore. And I was pigion-toeing very heavily to the point where my toes would almost touch each other or I would stumble over them often, while I was only walking on the outer space of my feet because of the hip misplacement.

Thanks to the treatment though I can finally walk properly and I'm not in pain anymore. I also lost a lot of weight during treatment with luke-warm lemon water to manage to discharge the trabbed water in my thighs and around my stomach. So now I'm about half my former weight! I lost 18 inches around the stomach.

Since I hope to go to Sweden again someday, I'm currently trying to learn Swedish and it's going quite good so far!

Recent events also had it that I got to care for a carrion crow! I suspect that it's a female and called her Elischeba, or Elli for short. My Mom found her in the morning when she went out for work barely three weeks ago.

Right now Elli is undergoing a worm treatment. These worms are living and multiplying in her lungs and giving her trouble breating, so they got to go.

However, when I made my way to the vet the first time to deliver a poop sample to the vet with my E-scooter, I've spontanously decided to pick beef with the pavement and it went out 1:0 for the pavement (According to a friend of mine the scooter said aveda kedavra 😂). After my tumble to the ground I felt very dizzy, disoriented and very nausous. And my hearing went woosh for a few minutes.

Though the X-ray didn't show a thing and I suspect it's just simply heavily sprained. I still can't move or bend my wrist and it started bruising pretty badly. But I think that it'll be fine in the end.

That was the update so far :)

[american-satanxx]

So to Hell with Good Intentions Chapter 3

Author’s note: Let me know if you wished to be tagged.

Masterpost

Tag list:  @imwithyoutiltheendofthelinebucky

...2018; It: Chapter 2 set Thank God, It’s Friday. by Ice Nine Kills is playing in the background as I’m packing up my makeup kits at the end of a very long filming day. Just as I’m closing up my last kit, there is a knock on the door followed by it opening up. I look in the mirror and see Bill Skarsgard standing in the doorway. “What is this crap you’re listening to?” He questions with a smirk. “I’ve been meaning to ask you all these months.” “The band is Ice Nine Kills. They just released an album called The Silver Scream and all the songs are based off of horror movies. This song is based off of Friday the 13th. “I guess that explains why you’re listening to them then.” He laughs. “Any songs about IT?” “In fact they do.” I reply quickly, turning on IT Is the End. “This is their song about IT. But them being horror based isn’t the only reason I’m listening to them. I did makeup and special effects makeup for them for their music videos for this album. Plus my cousin is friends with them.” “All good reasons.” He muses before walking in. “So now that we’re wrapping, what are your plans next?” “Probably take a break.” I shrug. “Maybe see what my cousin is doing. Either visit him at home, in the studio or even on tour. Possibilities are endless right now since I’m in between projects.” “My offer still stands,” he states. “You’re more than welcome to come to Sweden and I can show you around.” “Been there, done that.” I laugh. “I’m gonna stay away from Sweden as much as possible. I nearly got in a fight there once on vacation. Me and Swedes don’t get along. Other than you, of course.”

There is a loud knock on the door and in comes one of our big burly security guards walking in. Steve has been my saving grace plenty of times when it comes to me forgetting my passes in the beginning of shooting. “Hey Valentine, there is someone at the gates asking for you.” He informs me, causing both me and Bill to share a look before giving the muscular man in front of us. “It’s two in the fucking morning, who the hell is out at the gate asking for me?” I ask him. “Did he give you a name?” “Patrick Bateman.” “The character from American Psycho?” Bill questions before looking at me. “Is this safe? Because he clearly gave you a wrong name.” I just laugh before grabbing my purse. “It’s fine guys, it’s my friend Spencer. Patrick Bateman is my contact name for him in my phone. Don’t ask. He's a horror movie obsessed fanboy which caused me to call him American Psycho most of the time.” “Are you going to be safe with that man?” Steve questions me. “There are scarier things in this world than Spencer Charnas, trust me.” I assure him. “I’ll follow you out Steve, it’s time for me to head back to my hotel anyway.” “Are you going to the wrap party tomorrow night?” Bill questions as he walks out with me. “Nope.” I reply. “Not much of a party person. Besides, the last wrap party nearly got both of us in trouble with our significant others.” I remind him as I lock up my trailer. “I’m going to stop by, get my shit and fly back out to L.A as soon as possible.” Bill pulls me into a hug and places a kiss on my head. “Be safe. Text me as soon as you get to your hotel. I want to make sure you get back alive.” “Again, Spencer Charnas is many things but he’s not actually a serial killer.” I assure him once again as I pull away. ** Steve and I head back to the gates just in time to see Spencer taking a picture with the other security guard. Apparently he’s a fan. “Patrick Bateman? Seriously Charnas?” I laugh, causing the lead singer to look at me; a grin forming on his lips. “I’ve got to keep you guessing, Valentine.” He walks over to me and pulls me into a back breaking hug. “I missed you.” “It’s two in the morning Spence,” I remind him. “What are you doing in Canada at two in the morning? And more importantly, how did you find me?” “Chris. He told me your location. And I wanted to fly out and surprise you, that’s all.” He shrugs. “I’m kinda attached to you and I really miss you.” My heart melts at him saying this. “Let me guess, you don’t have a hotel or anything to stay in.” I assume, earning a nod from the singer. “Follow me and you can crash at my place. It’s a five minute drive from here.” “And when we get there we can watch movies?” He suggests, playfully. “I already have a probably cold pizza in my rental car.” “Sure, you can pick.” I smile as we link arms and walk away. ** “Alright Spencer, what are we watching?” I ask him as I walk out of the bathroom. After my shower I changed into a Scream t-shirt along with short shorts. Spencer looks up at me as I pull my blue hair up in a messy bun. A smirk forms on his lips. “Are you going to answer me, American Psycho?” “Look at your shirt.” He replies. “That should give you your answer.” “Good pick.” I reply as I grab a slice of pizza and sit on the couch next to him. He pulls my legs on top of his, allowing me to lounge on the couch. Causing me to shoot him a look. “What?” He asks, looking innocent. “You’ve been working all day, you deserve to relax.” I just smile as he presses play. “How is work anyway?” “We wrapped today, so pretty fucking great.” I reply before removing my legs from his lap. I scoot over to cuddle up against him instead; this causes the man to smile softly down at me. “What? I like cuddling while watching movies.” He shakes his head, a chuckle escaping as he puts his arms around me, pulling me closer to him. “You’re not going to the wrap party?” He questions. “Do I look like the partying type, Spence?” I chuckle. “Besides, the last wrap party is why my last relationship ended.” “Did you cheat on your boyfriend with Bill Skarsgard?” He jokes, laughing only stops when he realizes I’m not laughing. He pulls away from me, looking at me; kind of shocked. “You hooked up with Pennywise? The girl afraid of clowns?” “You’re acting like I fucked Bill wearing his Pennywise gear.” I laugh. “It wasn’t my finest moment and I regret it. But honestly me and Trever were on the way out anyway. Me having sex with the demon clown only helped end it sooner.” “Have you ever cheated on anyone else?” He questions. “I’m curious.” “Nope.” I reply back quickly. “And that was the only time I ever hooked up with an actor or musician that I worked with. I don’t make it a habit to sleep with the hand that signs my paycheck.” For the rest of the night, a silence washed over us. It wasn’t a bad silence, but a silence that tells me something quickly changed between us. Not sure if that change is good or bad. It’s just different.