#goal evaluation

[loriache]

"I've been waiting for ages for somebody to unmask them."

This moment tends to elicit negative reactions in a first read through, and I've got some opinions about why where Kabru is coming from here actually makes a lot of logical sense. So I thought I'd elaborate on that.

I think people hear this and go, "He thinks they must be hiding something because they gave money to someone? What a cynic." Or "he dislikes them because they did charity?? What's wrong with this guy!". And obviously, a lot, a lot is wrong with him. But I think this makes more sense than it seems at first glance! What people evaluating this judgement miss is why Kabru is paying attention to Laios and co to begin with.

Kabru knows of the Touden siblings because (he's a little bit of a stalker-) he is keeping an eye on all the relevant parties in events developing on the island, in order to be able to guide them to his preferred outcome. This includes adventurers because they are the ones actually exploring the dungeon! He's well aware that something as minor as internal tensions between party members could be key to the historical events that are developing. (He would love the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.)

His desired outcome is that whatever the rewards are of breaking the dungeon's curse, whether that's kingship or the ancient elven secrets of dungeons, are claimed by:

A) a short lived person

B) Someone who will be a good, effective leader and/or use those secrets and the power they carry wisely, with foresight, and to establish a political bloc for short lived people.

The person he can best trust to do this is, of course, himself. But due to his PTSD regarding dungeons and monsters, he's not able to develop the necessary skills to conquer the dungeon. Once he realises this, he starts looking for someone else who he can support to that end.

But most of the adventurers don't have any intentions of conquering the dungeon, don't have the skills, or are unsuitable in other ways. In fact, it seems like some potentially suitable people are the Toudens. There are a lot of good rumours about them going around - they actually seem to have a very positive reputation! That's what Kabru means when he says "unmask".

So when Kabru is observing something like them giving money to an old comrade from their gold-peeling days, he doesn't consider it a problem because "they're giving money to this person who doesn't actually need it" or because they must have some dark secret if they act superficially nice. I think he actually understands this situation and what it implies about Laios (in particular) perfectly well.

Laios and Falin gave money to an old comrade who got injured and couldn't work. That person then healed up but kept taking their money. Then he used the money to start smuggling illicit goods to the island.

The key is that for Kabru, the problem here is the same as with the corpse retrievers - people using the dungeon's resources to fuel dangerous, selfish, or violent pursuits cause problems for the island, attract more criminals and people with motives other than breaking the curse, and increase the chances of the whole situation ending in tragedy.

Kabru is willing to work with the Shadow Lord of the island if it gets him to his goal - he isn't scrupulous - but the criminal element of the island increasing is something he sees as a major issue.

Also, when you're evaluating someone as a candidate for power, riches, secrets, potentially kingship - then being curious about how the money you give to people is going to be used is kind of a relevant trait!

Interpersonally, Kabru's actually very easygoing - I mean, Mickbell isn't exactly an upstanding guy, is he! But Kabru likes him and they get along well. These traits wouldn't be a problem at all in a friend, or a comrade, or someone Kabru was confident he could use. But he can't get a handle on Laios, and Laios is someone who has the potential to be a major player!

On Laios' end, this is the same as with the marriage seeker who joined their party. She kept asking for things and he gave them to her, because he tries to be nice to others. He even gives her money! It's the exact same thing.

That's fine, but it became a problem because he basically wasn't interested in her motives, didn't notice she was trying to manipulate him, and it also didn't occur to him that the other party members would notice or be affected. We can assume the situation with the gold peeler is the same. When Kabru says that "It's not that they're bad people, they just aren't interested in humans," he isn't wrong.

The extent to which this is true of Laios is linked to his autism imo, (because it isn't just disinterest - he genuinely isn't able to notice nonverbal cues that people are lying to him or have ulterior motives) but to a greater or lesser extent I think it's a very common trait. Most people aren't actually that interested in other people who aren't close to them. Kabru is the weird one here. It isn't an issue except as a leader - which is why we see an immediate comparison to the Island's Lord, because that's how Kabru is evaluating them.

And disinterest in/lack of ability with people to the extent Laios exhibits it, it does, actually, make him a worse leader... it's just that as we see in the story, people can help him out. The rest of the party tell him the marriage seeker is taking advantage of him so he tells her he can't give her special treatment anymore. They're pissed and it's a crisis point - he couldn't have recovered their trust without Marcille and Falin - but that's exactly the point. With Marcille and Falin, he was able to recover their trust.

And he has other good traits that make up for it, such as his intelligence, strategic knowledge, open-mindedness and sense of fairplay.

Kabru doesn't disqualify Laios as a candidate based on what he sees about him from afar, though - he still tries very hard to get close to him, obviously hoping that if he manages he can steer Laios to defeat the dungeon and make up for his lack of people-skills in the aftermath. (Which... he does eventually achieve that goal!) He completely fails until the events of the story, so... definitely I think "They just aren't interested in humans" could also partially be a stung reaction to Laios' complete disinterest in him.

Anyway, that's my read on what exactly Kabru's "issue" with Laios is. Obviously, once he does find out what Laios' true nature is like - about his love for monsters - he develops an entirely new set of fears about Laios' priorities. But since Laios kept that a secret until the start of the story, he has no idea of that yet.

Given all that, I think it's interesting that he says that he doesn't think that the Toudens are suitable to defeat the dungeon, and that he's hoping they'll turn out to be the thieves. As some of his few potential candidates, people who he thinks may play a big role in the island's future, you'd think he'd hope they would be good people!

I suppose it's better, in his eyes, because it means that he's involved in something "interesting". They haven't just had their stuff stolen by regular criminals (boring, puts them further away from his goal) - they've been caught up in the beginning stages of "a historic event". The desperate and dwindling group forgetting morals in their quest to retrieve their lost comrade probably appeals to his sense of melodrama. Because he also just... loves drama.

Despite it being "uglier than anything he was expecting", he still pursues Laios as the person he wants to conquer the dungeon pretty much as soon as it becomes clear that he won't be able to do it himself and they are out of time. That's because... well, to be fair, there aren't any other options. And he fits standard A: he's short-lived!

and Kabru still hopes he can fit standard B, too, and be persuaded to use the power he wins for good. No matter how many nightmares he has about Laios, or whether he thinks about killing him. He doubts him, but ultimately he puts his faith in him and seems happy after the manga's ending that he made the right decision.

[jodiellie]

Week 1 Evaluation

It's been a week since I've started this journey, so let's reflect on how the first week has been!

First of all, let's have a refresher on what my GOALS for this 30 days initially is~

Fixing my sleep schedule

Incorporate more physical activities (doesn't have to be exercising, can be stretches or walks!)

Drawing more often for practice

Sleep:

I'd say sleep wise, I'm slowly getting better at it. Though, there are moments where I couldn't get myself to sleep and ended up getting worse. But in general, I think I've made good progress than before I started on this journey, so good job me! ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

Physical activities:

I'm pretty proud of my progress for this! So far, I've managed to do something everyday for the past week to get my body moving! Whether it be actually following along exercising videos on Youtube or some stretching to ease some tension on muscles! Again, good job to myself uwu

Drawing:

Now this. I did NOT meet this goal at all during this entire week, which is a shame. I think I was focusing a lot on taking better care of my own body that the thought of taking care of my skill set kinda slipped my mind? Which, to be fair, is kind of expected since even trying to remind myself to do certain basic self care task is difficult in itself. So, it's okay, we'll just have to do better during the following week~

Extras:

Other extra stuff for my health that I think would I've done well is also finally taking my meds and vitamins. Though it's not consistent yet, I'm glad I finally was able to take them more than I was before. This goes for my water intake as well! Sometimes I would go on days without drinking any water at all, which is quite bad... But now that I'm trying to actively record down my days and what I've done to better my body, it serves as a reminder in itself to drink more water, so yayyy another great job done for me °ʚ(´꒳`)ɞ°

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Things I need to improve/add for the following week:

After a week into this journey, I think I'd like to adjust some of my goals and be a little more specific in what I want to achieve for hopefully the next week! This will help me be a little clearer with what I need to do and help myself feel good in the future >:)

Try to sleep 30 mins earlier than the last, but the latest time for me to go to bed would be 3am. I have been doing quite okay with only a few slips here and there on this. So hopefully by the end of the next week, I can somehow sleep around 12am instead.

Still moving my body every single day, but let's try to exercise 3 times this week for at least 30 minutes! It's been a long time since I've exercised that I forgot how good I always feel afterwards both physically and mentally. So yes, I'd like to challenge myself to actually do some exercise more often! ( *` • ω •´)ゝ

Since I have 0 progress on my drawing, I want to start slow and easy myself into it. Since it feels daunting (for some reason), let's try achieving at least 30 minutes per day for 3 days of art practice. Can be anything, like anatomy, color study, or even just my own personal art. As long as it reaches the goal I set, then it's good :>

[goldkirk]

I feel like I’m crazy on and off because of the dissociation ramping back up again, BUT this time I’m still managing to do somatic processing on and off, so I’m still making progress loosening up some muscles and gaining range of motion (and range of sensation and memories). That’s pretty cool. Progress does happen I guess

[ghost-malone]

Death threats are so genuinely insane to me. Like what has to go through your mind to think that's a sensible response to something that has upset you online. I know it's mostly severely mentally ill people or children (because no one with a fairly developed brain would ever think that response even makes sense) but I can't wrap my head around it.

You see it on YouTube and tiktok and you sure as shit see it here too and it's so ridiculously baffling, and to those of us who aren't in a particularly fragile state, absolutely laughable.

What goes through your head? Do you think you're doing The Lord's Work or fighting what you perceive as unrighteous? Do you want to lash out to feel powerful or like your opinion matters? Or are you just angry and waiting for someone online to do something that others object to, thus giving you opportunity and reason to hide in an angry mob and validate your need to.... threaten death?

I dunno, genuinely don't get it. No one normal gets it babe, what are you doing?

[whentherewerebicycles]

a bunch of people have already registered for my mentoring workshop! unfortunately this means i have to plan and host a workshop aaaaaa

[vikingnerd793]

So there was a take on Tumblr that went something along the lines of

"BG3 would be nothing without Astarion, Neil makes this game."

Let me just talk about fucking trash takes like this that no one, including Neil, asked for.

This is, IMO, a great example of the parasocialism that plagues too many of the chronically online, and particularly those who are younger in Fandoms who grew up tethered to their phones and thinking being a Stan means you have to shit on everything that isn't what you Stan because you think that is how you show devotion to someone who doesn't even know you exist. I know it's probably hard to think about things in a grander scheme, putting these things out on the internet achieves absolutely nothing, for no one. It doesn't make you a true fan of Astarion and Neil. It does make you someone who seems like you could use a healthier attachment to both of them where you don't need to diminish other things to elevate them.

Additionally, this is how you get other BG3 fans to go from being lukewarm on Astarion or even somewhat fond of Astarion, to hating that character. And it paints Astarion fans horribly when you act this way. So, again who do you think you're helping with these AWFUL takes?

And speaking of that awful take -- incorrect. BG 3 is GOTY because of the collective. It goes beyond any one actor. It goes beyond any one character. It is a masterpiece of a game IN ITS ENTIRETY. GOT IT? It is absolutely fucked up that you reduced the impact this game has as a cultural phenomenon, and as a game that had shaken the status quo of the industry, to a single character just so you could feel like your favorite comes off just a little "above" the rest. Stop it. Stop it right now.

And I have said it before-- multiple actors in this game including the incredible narrator could justifiably get nominated for awards. Sam? There isn't a scene in the game that beats the Gortash scene. I will die on that hill. That said, that is one of many outstanding performances, but I am hard pressed to think of any performances that weren't great. They all. Deserve. Praise.

Anyway, back to my regularly scheduled fangirling over BG3. I hope some of you seriously get a grip on yourselves and leave those awful takes out of the community. It is so toxic and so unwelcome.

[vixvaporub]

Im so ready for this year to be over

[wellthatsclever]

.

[thefaultinourchickennuggets]

oof. yearly evaluation time again.

[lab-gr0wn-lambs]

writing a self evaluation for an assignment and I got distracted and incredibly sidetracked in the middle of writing a sentence about how I CANNOT FOCUS EVER I'm gonna cry

[thewildmage]

e1s0 acheron and e5 gallagher. i had 1 pity and no guarantee for the limited banner, and 30 pity with no guarantee on the light cone banner. i REALLY ate tonight.

[neff-zhul]

baby steps

[iamthekarmapolice]

i'm reading The Culture Map by Erin Meyer, which I picked up assuming it was about general cultural differences around the world and why they've manifested the way they have, but it turned out to be specifically about cultural differences in a business context. i was initially a little disappointed but the first chapter alone had so many anecdotal examples of misunderstandings that were so relatable to me. i'm an indian from india, and in my work i've actually almost never had indian clients. my clients have been from the US, and a few European countries. and then the clients' team that we work alongside also tends to be pretty international. it's putting so many little incidents here and there into context.

[jessahmewren]

🥮

🥮 do you have any writing milestones you're working toward?

Hi anon! I do! I am working on publishing a book...it's a contemporary romance with a twist. I have pitched it and a publishing house has expressed interest but that's as far as we've gotten. I also work on publishing original writing and try to keep something in circulation all the time. My goal is to publish more in the future! As far as fan fiction my current goal is to finish my series Cee and Ezra for the Prospect fandom and caring in an uncaring world for The Last of Us fandom. I have some more I'd like to write for The Mandalorian too!

Most of all I want to keep writing, however that looks and whatever that may be ♥.

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Do you think anything will come from Harry stunting with a queer woman or is it just like any other beard who is there to push his het image?

I am really struggling with this phrasing anon. Yes of course something will come of it. Something comes of everything - there are already articles - that's something.

Will the fact that she's a queer woman mean anything for how Harry portrays himself and is understood? I doubt it, but this literally happened yesterday so nobody knows how it's going to play out.

[cappurrccino]

I've got one class that's like "brevity is key, and you should be able to explain your point in a succinct and understandable way!" and another class that's like "this should be a minimum of 6 pages for really no reason other than to say it has to be at least 6 pages" and the oscillation between the two is painful