#go wildcats!

[mountain-high-philolsophers]

October 31 - First Period Assembly

Whispers and stifled laughter came from the boys (*teacher sorted) of the first period auditorium. They knew today was a day that would be going down in school history, the legendary school assembly to kick off the month of No Nut November. Mark Settledown, president of the Mountain High PhiLOLsophers Club, and Jackson Hardy, school principal, sat together at a table on the stage, each trying to look in charge.

Mark grinned brightly from the stage as his presentation began. He grinned a lot. "Good morning, penis havers!" he said.

"Boys," corrected Mr. Hardy, from beside Mark. "This is the boys assembly."

"Yeah? And could you define 'boy'?"

Mr. Hardy sighed. This was going to be a long month. The manual sent to his office included an enormous list of official definitions, debated and approved of by the best politicians Texas could elect, and after months of legal struggles, his opinions on its contents no longer mattered. He rubbed his eyes and said, "A boy is anyone born with a penis."

"So good morning, penis havers!" repeated Mark, even more enthusiastically. "Tonight at midnight begins a game we will all be playing for the next month, one I'm sure you've heard of, called 'No Nut November'! For anyone who isn't aware, here are the general rules. Save your questions for the end, please..."

The rules were familiar to everyone, they'd been on the news for months. Don't cum, simple as that, and it applied to girls (*everyone else in the school) too. No one could put anything in their cooch or their ass, and none of the boys (*people who didn't want stuff in their butt) were nervous about it. Nervous laughs came from the boys (*penis) in the audience.

"...which brings me to the reason you're all here. This..." he said, whipping out a small package for everyone in the assembly to see, "...is a special condom, issued to everyone in this room. Everyone should have one..."

"And only one," interjected Mr. Hardy.

"...so make sure you get one one before you leave. You will notice it has our school mascot on the outside, and on the inside..."

He tore open the condom and grabbed his water bottle, making a show of fumbling with the condom for a bit before finally putting it on. "Ah!" he said, finishing, "You have to find the right side up and roll it all the way down." Mr. Hardy looked at him, annoyed, as Mark continued.

"On the inside are a series of markings, whose purpose is officially a mystery." He looked at Mr. Hardy, furiously disapproving. "Now remember, you only get one, so make sure to hold onto it until the end of the month. Are there any questions?"

Students raised their hands, and the first question went to a shy student in purple glasses. "I don't really want to talk to anyone about whether or not I jack off," he said. "Is there really no way to opt out?"

Mark shook his head. "Not really, but as long as you give a number, any number, then no one is allowed to bother you about it. Just say one day, you're allowed to lie, dude. No one is going to check. You don't get punished for losing, and you don't get school points for winning. If your friends don't care, then no one will care.

Mr. Hardy clarified. "While legally students may not choose to opt themselves out of class activities such as this one, 'one day' is considered an official non-answer, meaning nothing. However, without a note from your parents, you cannot say 'not playing'. You must either give a number, or say still going."

"But...!"

Mark sighed, and said, "The one day rule gives you a way to be within the rules without actually playing. It's a plot device so the story can be about high schoolers awkwardly attempting to be sexy without technically being forced into anything except social awkwardness. If you don't like the genre of story you're in, get a note from your parents. Next question."

The next questioner was Rodger Harwell, a bully who had at one point punched Mark in the face for breaking the fourth wall. "If it's not graded, then what makes you think anyone will play this stupid game?"

Marked laughed. "It's not graded, but it is a real game, with real winners and losers. Some of you will want to win, and some of you are losers." He made a L with his fingers on his forehead. "Are you a loser, Harwell? Can you even go a whole day without touching yourself?"

Mr. Hardy got mad, and question time moved on.

The next few questions were largely procedural. "What if I get a wet dream?" (As long as it was not a lucid dream), "Are there free passes if you really need to?" (No), "When does the game begin?" (Exactly at midnight), and "Is there a way for readers of this story to ask their own questions if they're confused?" (Yes, send this blog an ask).

The last question before the bell rang was directed only at Mark. His best friend, Abbot Costello, asked him "Do you think you'll make it?" And Mark grinned, and said, "Absolutely. Go Wildcats!" The auditorium yowled, and first period assembly ended.

[ginaporterr]

HAPPY FOUR YEARS OF HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL: THE MUSICAL: THE SERIES (Premiered: November 8, 2019)

the wildcats' first & last episodes (insp)

[everybody-loves-purdy]

I think we can assume that the wildcats are indeed Scottish wildcats?

[kosmicsandshoes]

here we are

oh yea and the banana fucking bus fucking squad

[buds-and-baubles]

wildstorm fans anytime their characters are remembered:

[twilights-800-cats]

trying to figure out whether the wildcats in ivypool's heart are like. Actual Wildcats or Wildcat/domestic cat mixes or just cats that call themselves that and, well, i got my answer in the funniest way:

[theperrylleluniverse]

to be fair to Hamilton, this is the definition of courtroom theatrics

also the judge literally saying "I want to see where he goes with this" is SO FUNNY

[smittyplus]

i miss them.

[ramp-it-up]

IG stories: @rafaelcasal —@maya_hawke Wildcat ❤️

[martyrbat]

batman and wildcat #2

[ID: two panels of Batman in restraints. He has spiked gloves on and a white, full front mask on over his cowl—which prevents him from seeing anything. In the first panel he's kneeling with his hands down between his spread thighs. Two men stand behind him on both sides and are only shown from the torso and crotch down. One demands to the other, “Give him the rules.” The second panel is a close-up on Batman from the shoulders up. One of the criminals is holding an electric baton underneath his chin as Batman tries to turn his head away. END ID]

[cuntwrap--supreme]

Something really empty in the universe knowing Big Cat Scott Henson is dead. Funniest furry motherfucker to ever live. One of the funniest guys in general. Really broke the stereotype about furries being pedophiles and assured the public that furries are degenerates in other ways too. Restored my faith in Canadians. A loss to the indie wrestling scene. Rest in pussy, tiger boy.

[ultraflamz64]

Wildcat.

[justtrashperson]

This was just an excuse to draw hugs

[captainjonnitkessler]

I want to be clear that I am NOT an expert in trade unions: My experience is limited to the IBEW and I’ve only been a member for four years. That being said:

My experience thus far is that 99% of being in one is the same obnoxious bureaucratic bullshit as national politics on a smaller scale. Everyone loves to bitch about the administration: It’s corrupt, they’re just giving themselves raises for doing nothing, the business manager is doing his “recruiting” exclusively in the bar, the negotiators are licking the contractors’ boots, we inexplicably voted to give the golf club ten thousand fucking dollars, they don’t actually care about us, they’re just sitting on their asses doing politics while we work to support them. And then you ask “so are you going to meetings and voting?” and the answer is always “hell no, I’m not giving up an evening a month to go listen to a bunch of bullshit”.

Obviously I 100% support forming and joining unions, they offer way more protection and support than non-union workplaces, and they’re a powerful force for labor rights. Just . . . remember they’re just made up of all of your coworkers, including the ones you hate, and they require the involvement of the membership to actually function. It’s a lot of compromising and politicking and bullshitting, it’s not a magic bullet to fix labor problems. Half the time I can’t even agree with my coworkers on what the problems ARE, much less how to fix them!

[acebytaemin]

happy bday to my number one guy, king of my heart and the true big boss, M @linoguy 💖🤎

[frommybookbook]

Again, the way he comforts his clients is everything to me