#go wasp anon go!

[honey-minded-hivemind]

Hello it me again Wasp anon!

I wanted to know how the relationship between reader and evolution Wanda? Are they close friends? Consider each other as siblings? What does Wanda think of reader? Is it a I hate all X-Men besides you situation or a you should quit the X-Men and join us kinda situation?

I love (platonically) goth angry Wanda and I really wanna know the relationship between the two and how they view each other.

Okay! Let's get started!

Wanda probably sees Reader as just another person at first, a nuisance at best and a threat at worst. It isn't until Reader either a. treats her like a normal teen, or b. helps her or does her a solid, that Wanda starts to see them as a potential friend.

Once Wanda does, though... good luck getting rid of her. You're not. She is doing everything with you. You can do each others hair, pick out goth clothes from her favorite stores, find makeup, pick out the best books, and listen to music in her room or yours. She craves this normalcy she gets with you, and doesn't want to share. She begrudgingly can't get rid of her twin, but she can warn the other Brotherhood members to leave you be or face her wrath, and nonone wants Wanda mad.

If you're with the X-Men, Wanda will either want to join you and them, or if she thinks they're not good enough for you, will want you on what side she considers the most powerful or will win in the end. If she thinks you're in danger with the Brotherhood, then she'd rather you be where you aren't in danger. But if she's with you, then you won't be in danger, so she wants to be with you at all times...

[some-pers0n]

evil women. you agree?

Agree whole-heartedly. I love evil malicious characters and evil women are exactly that

[lover-of-skellies]

I ate a wasp, help

Turn on smooth jazz. I heard bees like jazz, that'll calm it down

[blakebow]

Go watch a different show since it's obvious RWBY was never for people like you. Since, you know the Bees were a foundational element of the show from day one.

We don't need you.

You can do whatever you want to do with your life anon, and i'll do what i want to do with mine. you don't get to come in here and tell me what to do when you're too much of a coward to show your face :)

For the record, i did really enjoy the show. i'm just disappointed the writers would rather pander to the most undeserving, disrespectful side of the fandom for a cheap buck and encourage and romanticize the idea of toxic, dysfunctional relationships, rather than promoting a much healthier alternative. it's like carrot sticks over junk food, you know? basic concepts.

[petiolata]

Bad taste

In what? Coffee, anime, literature...?

I don't play at having refined or elevated tastes. I like what I like XD

[cinderspots]

Miss girl, what the fuck. I'm so flabbergasted, bamboozled, and confused as hell. I don't even know what to say. If your arm continues to get worse, please get medical help. I really want to know how the stabbings happened. (so one day I can use them against you) I'm uneducated as to what compression gloves are for so could you perhaps explain that to me? By the way, stop downplaying your pain, your arm was purple, you're hurting and you couldn't even feel it a minute ago. Obviously I'm concerned! You should be too!

Anyways, Juliet and Shawn were my first straight ship too and I've never watched The Office before.

Genuinely, are you okay? -Deer

It's been almost 2 hours and the arm is normal again so it really is fine. I will not be giving you anymore information on those stabbings. Compression gloves are meant to squeeze the wrist (at least mine) to limit blood flow so sprains are less painful.

Downplaying pain? Damn if you'd been around when I caffeine overdose (one of the SIX times). My instinct is to joke, if I don't laugh I cry 🫠.

[ohdeerfully]

Spoilers ahead for the final episode!

Imagine reader being a healer for others but is cursed to not being able to heal themselves.

Like during the final battle, their skills are heavily relied on while they also fight along side them. Afterwards they rush to find their lover Alastor to heal the wound on his abdomen. Poor thing was so worried about healing him that they forgot about patching up themselves.

hello everybody im alive........... hello hold your applause /j

i got two very similar requests so i combined them into one! hope thats alright with the two anons! hugs and kisses

Stitches

alastor x reader (fluff) TW: nothing serious, just some briefly graphic(ish) descriptions of violence/gore, reader referred to as female but doesnt influence plot

join my discord!

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It was supposed to be “no big deal” for him; that’s what he had promised you. You worried, of course, but knew better than to pester and beg for him to change his mind. Plus… of all demons to hold back Adam, Alastor seemed like the most capable. You had to trust him. He promised.

You were in the midst of slaying an Exterminator of your own, cutting it down with a sword lined in angelic steel, but you couldn’t help that your train of thought kept returning to the Radio Demon, who was currently on the roof of the Hotel maintaining a forcefield that prevented more angels from joining the battle.

You allowed your eyes to glimpse up towards said roof even though you knew it’d be impossible to see him from your position on the ground. You had looked just in time, however, to see the shield that surrounded the battleground begin to dissolve, an opening blooming around the figure of Adam. 

A sickly cold feeling of dread churned down your spine and into your stomach, but you forced yourself to stay focused. Alastor would be fine, surely. It’s not like he said it was an invincible shield. You had other things to worry about, anyway, when you realized a wasp-like swarm of Exterminators had made their way in from the dissolving forcefield, their glittering white wings and shining angelic weapons molding together in a blur.

You fought along a small group of demons from Cannibal Town, providing aid and healing when possible. It seemed to go on for hours; stab an angel, tear one away from a companion, heal, stab, save, heal… it somehow began to feel monotonous and repetitive. Your whole body stung, littered with wounds ranging in extremity, but you couldn’t stop. Not if you were going to win this thing.

That monotony was broken when the chaos halted for a brief moment—not even a second. You had seen Charlie looking up in… fear? Shock? So, you looked, and your breath hitched. It took you a moment to process.

Why was Adam flying above, looming, grinning, analyzing… Why, when Alastor was supposed to be keeping him occupied? The immediate answer that came to mind brought back that sickening feeling from earlier, but increased a hundredfold. It seemed that Charlie also had a similar idea.

You couldn’t ignore the feeling this time and, against your better judgment, took off towards the crumbling Hotel, abandoning your position as healer. They could wait, honestly. The pounding in your ears and anxiety in your body clouded the sensation of angelic spears grazing past you, filling your already burdened body with more gashes.

You were halted by a powerful beat of wings, wind pushing you backwards onto your back. You scrambled into a sitting position, leaning on your arms. All of the aching, stinging pain from the night seemed to rush in all at once because of the interruption, and you could barely keep your eyes steady on the man in front of you.

The first man, at that—standing all too high-and-mighty above you, a twisted grin curling up his mask. 

“Hey, bitch,” He said almost casually, grabbing you by the hair and lifting you up to be eye level with him. You stifled a pained cry at the sensation, though your eyes filled with tears, betraying both your fear and pain. You hated yourself for looking so weak in front of Adam, but you were almost too exhausted to mask it.

“The fuck did you do to Alastor?” You talked through a mouthful of blood. You spat some out in his face, to which the grip on your head tightened but he seemed otherwise unbothered. You did see a glint of madness in his eyes, though.

“So you’re that fine babe of his?” Adam mocked, looking up and down tastelessly. You didn’t expect much more from the ‘dickmaster’ but you couldn’t help but feel disgusted. “Satan’s daughter told me all about you when she was trying to tell me you gross fucks could be redeemed.”

He started rambling out a multitude of insults and curses. It seemed fitting, you thought, that the stuck-up first man would be too full of himself to keep his guard up and just start going off on a tangent about how cool and awesome he is versus how gross and weak your kind is.

“I mean, the fuck? You all sucked ass at being alive, so why the shit would we let you up into heaven? And, quite frankly, too fucking ugly to live up th—” He choked on the last few words he had, his eyes widening in shock and pain. He dropped you to the ground.

During his rant you had managed to use your heel to kick up a stray spear from beneath you. His tirade had given you enough time to balance the weapon between your feet, aim, and jam it forward into his stomach. The robe he wore darkened, glistening gold seeping into the fabric and from the hole you punctured into him.

“You–” He spat, hovering his shaking hands around the impaled spear. He gingerly pressed a hand against the wound, lifting his bloody palm to his face to look at the mess. He looked up, down, up again, and took a quivering step towards you. There were a million expressions in his eyes all at once; rage, fear, pain, disgust… 

“You fucking bitch,” He took another step, reached a hand out towards you. “You can’t kill me! Nobody can kill Adam! You’re just a worthless, sick, good-for-nothing sinner that couldn’t—fuck!” He stumbled and fell forward, and you jerked away as his fist nearly closed around the hem of your shirt. As much as you hated the guy and wanted him dead, you still cringed at the sight of him falling onto the spear and impaling it completely through his body.

You heard a distant cry of his name, but you didn’t hesitate to see who it was. You took off into the hotel, albeit slowed by a painful limp, and made your way up the stairs towards the radio tower.

There was an ominous feeling in the air as you ascended the ladder into the nearly demolished tower, slowly opening the hatch into the room. An intense, static-y feeling smothered your senses, hair raising and skin prickling at the sensation. You ignored the uncomfortable feeling and peered around the dark room. 

Claw marks and a trail of blood caught your attention, leading your eyes towards a corner where the demon you wanted to see most sat against. He had been wordlessly watching you with glowing red eyes since you entered.

“Al,” You said almost breathlessly as you rushed forward, ignoring the way your leg shot pain throughout your body in protest. You fell gracelessly to your knees in front of him.

“I don’t want you here,” He said rather plainly, a hiss in his voice as he spoke through his teeth and a grimace of a smile. You ignored the comment, eyes traveling over his body before settling on his palm, which was pressed against his abdomen. There was a still-growing patch of dark blood seeping through his shirt and between his fingers.

You reached your hand out towards him, flinched to a halt for a moment when his claws tightened around the fabric of his shirt, but continued. He made no move otherwise to stop you, but you could feel the tension in the air growing as the static ambience got louder.

“I can take care of myself,” He said, his other hand suddenly snatching your wrist. His grin widened, but his eyes narrowed. You frowned at him.

“Yeah, but it’d be a lot easier for me to just fix you now,” You retorted, trying to jerk your hand away from his grip. He didn’t yield. “If you stop being so damn stubborn.”

“I’ve dealt with much worse, my dear,” He continued to convince you to leave him alone, his voice smooth with that manipulatively suave voice he put on sometimes. Unluckily for him, though, you were just as stubborn as him.

“But I’m here this time to help you,” You finally managed to free your wrist from him, your sharp expression unwavering from his own, which seemed equally aggravated. Maybe he was too weak to actually stop you, or maybe he actually did want your help and just wouldn’t admit it, but he didn’t stop you from lifting his bloodied hand from his wound.

You pursed your lips at the grizzly sight, but said nothing. You ignored the stinging smell of blood that flooded your nose. You hovered your hands over the wound, channeling the energy in your body that granted you the ability to rapidly heal others. A faint light flowed from your palm and into the gash across Alastor’s torso, forming glowing stitches that weaved throughout the damaged skin.

Periodically glancing up at his face as you worked, you watched for any sign that told you to stop, but it never came. He stayed silent the whole time, which was… rare, from him. You would never admit this out loud, but Alastor seemed almost… pitiful, in this silent, weakened state. The Radio Demon himself, reduced to a bloodied, passive husk of himself.

After healing so many demons during the battle outside, you had spent so much energy. You were already so weak and exhausted, but you pushed yourself to force just a bit more—

“There,” With a weak sigh, you sat back, admiring your own handiwork. Even though it was magic, it did take some mental ability to know how to use your power. “Was that so hard?” You chided him jokingly.

He gingerly drug a clawed finger down the stitches, analyzing it for himself. 

“I have to admit,” He began, looking up at you. “It would have been nice to have you in my early years as— dear?”

You barely heard what he was saying as all of your senses seemed to get foggy all at once. Your vision blurred and speckled, you ears felt muffled, and you swayed with lightheadedness. You pressed a hand to your face, trying to steady your breath.

“I’m good,” Your voice came out in a quiver. “I think I just—”

You don’t necessarily even remember fainting, but reason that you must have as you stared at the ceiling above you. You woke up ten minutes ago, and spent the time piecing together everything that happened. How much time has passed since then? A couple hours? Days? It was hard to say. Though, you thought as you looked around. The hotel looks… damn good all things considered. 

The door creaked open and your ears perked at the sound of a familiar voice humming some tune that you couldn’t recognize. Considering the atmosphere wasn’t tense, you actually welcomed the prickling, static-like sensation that Alastor’s presence brought. 

“Ah, the sleeping beauty awakes!” He announced pleasantly, setting a plate rattling with two neat little glasses of warm liquid on the bedside table. You eyed them and quirked your eyebrow.

“Seems you were ready for it,” You said, commenting on the fact that he brought two cups.

“Well, what kind of man would I be if I wasn’t au fait to my darling’s status?” He explained, clasping his hands behind his back and leaning over you. He would never admit that he brought up two cups every time he checked on you just in case. 

His overall demeanor seemed appropriately confident and indifferent, but his eyes held an uncharacteristic look of tenderness and worry as he looked over you, analyzing your condition. He sat at the edge of the bed, picking that plate up again and offering you a cup.

You sat up against the headboard and took it with a light smile, warming your hands on the smooth surface. You enjoyed the aroma of the tea, and you realized it was your favorite. How sweet.

The room was silent, save for the quiet sound of a radio that seemed to just… radiate from him… but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Now that you were sitting up, you took the chance to look down and over yourself. Bandages were wrapped tightly over your arms, chest, stomach, legs… basically everywhere. You were suddenly all too aware of the dull ache that afflicted your entire body.

When you looked up, you noticed Alastor had been looking at you rather intensely. His expression was weird and unreadable. You tightened your lips awkwardly at the strangely passionate look in his eyes, looking into random directions to try to ignore it. You tried to concentrate on taking another sip from the cup in your hand, bu, to your dismay, it was already empty. You sat it down on the plate.

“How’s my stitchwork holding up?” In an attempt to dissipate your own awkwardness, you reached towards his abdomen. He caught your hand gently, directing it away from himself. But he didn’t let go.

“No doctor in all of Hell could have done better,” He complimented. He still had a hint of that weird expression. “If only you could fix yourself up the same. Fortunately I have some experience from my time alive…” He trailed off.

You couldn’t contain yourself anymore, jumping forward and tightening your arms around his neck. The static in the air sharpened for a brief second, matching the tenseness in his body, but slowly returned to a normal frequency. After a few more seconds, you felt him slide his own arms around your waist, pressing you against himself.

“You scared the fuckin’ shit out of me,” You said, voice muffled by his coat. “I thought Adam killed you. I thought I was going to find your body buried under the rubble.”

“So you avenged me by killing Adam yourself? I appreciate it,” He remarked lightly, a slight chuckle rumbling from his chest. His voice was low, breath tickling your ear as he held you with a feather-light but somehow still firm grip. 

Alastor was quiet for another moment, and you realized the static in the air had completely dissipated. You also realized the pressure of his arms wrapped around you was getting increasingly tighter.

“You worried me as well,” He said finally. “You were out like a hibernating bear for days. You worried everyone.” You pulled your head out from the crook of his neck and met his gaze.

“Can’t a gal get her beauty rest?” You joked softly, bumping your shoulder against him playfully. He swayed for a moment at the contact, but the eye contact never broke. Wait, was he getting closer? 

Instinctually your eyes closed, and the briefest kiss was placed on your lips, then your nose, then your forehead. Before you could open your eyes, Alastor placed his hand on your head and pressed you back against his chest. He then began rubbing his hand gently on your back in a soothing motion.

Despite being in bed for apparently days, you still felt tired. You sank into him as his claws drug gentle shapes against your skin, careful to avoid bandaged spots. He hummed a quiet tune, and you noticed his microphone of a cane, which was laying against the bedside table, emitted an accompanying song.

“Maybe redemption isn’t all that,” You commented with a sigh, lazily picking at the hem of Alastor’s collar.

“Hmm?” He prompted you to continue.

“Is Hell really so bad if you’re with your favorite soul?” It felt corny to say, but you couldn't really find a better way to phrase it. Plus, you couldn't take this rare moment of tenderness for granted.

His hand paused for a moment, and he gently squeezed your arm in response. You felt him press another light kiss to the top of your head.

“I know, now,” He finally replied. “Just the feeling.”

[bones4thecats]

Jettwins x fembot jet reader, They both fall in love with the reader who is part of the Prime team

TFA! Jet-Twins w/ an S/O on Team Prime

Characters: POLY! Jetfire and Jetstorm (Transformers Animated) Requester: 🔥Anon A/N: Imma call you 🔥Anon since I use that emoji for Jetfire and wanna save the other emoji just in case! I do hope you like this, it was fun to write for these two goofballs <3 ⚠️ Spoilers/Trigger Warnings for: Nothing bad really ⚠️

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╚═════ Jetfire + Jetstorm ════════════════════════╝

🔥⛈️ When Jetfire and his brother came onto Earth for the first time, you were arriving with Sentinel, whom you found driving at a higher speed than normal in Detroit, and were shocked to see Optimus fighting a large mech

🔥⛈️ When Sentinel began to yell at Optimus, you stood up for him, yelling right back into the Elite Guard member's face

"Oh for crying out loud, Sentinel! If you're supposed to be a Prime, a mentor to many up-and-coming Autobot soldiers, you need to listen to others and not just that annoying voice in your processor! Listening to yourself alone is not a quality of an Autobot, it's a quality of a Decepticon!"

"How dare you call me a Decepticon!"

"How dare I?! How dare you treat the only Bot that you have left in your life, one of the rare few who ever truly cared about you, like a hunk of scrap metal?! You need to grow up and quit acting like a sparkling! It's pathetic."

🔥⛈️ The twins were shocked to see how quick Sentinel backed down when you began to get more and more angry. And the way you stood there and glared at their boss, one of the highest-ranking Primes of that time, and scolded him like how a Carrier or Sire would their own offspring

"Just- get out there and find that fugitive!" He barked at the two.

🔥⛈️ After the whole... Wasp-incident... you remained in contact with the twins, sending them some photos you would take around the city. Heck, sometimes you'd go for drives outside of the city with Sari and/or Prowl to get away from the business

🔥⛈️ They loved to look at the scenery of the planet you protected, and from time to time, they would try to get Sentinel to let them go back to Earth to 'check on you guys'. Yeah... Jazz always knew something else was on their mind, Sentinel on the other hand, not so much. He's pretty dumb when it comes to relationships

🔥⛈️ Anyways. They both struggle with certain things when you eventually enter a relationship with them.

🔥Jetfire

He is much higher with his voice, meaning he yells more than his twin. So, if you are sensitive to loud noises, do tell him early on so he can tone himself down more often

Jetfire also has issues with his emotions, though it's more severe than his brothers. This was shown when Ironhide tried flirting with you and he went from a happy-go-lucky bot to a glaring and borderline-possessive one

Speaking of possessiveness, he has his moments. It's not severe like others like the Decepticons, but it does appear when he thinks your relationship may be in danger. Even the most arrogant have their doubts

Finally, his fire sometimes flares up when his anger gets out of control. And, unlike Jetstorm's winds, his are far more destructive, so, if he ever gets mad, keep your guard up in case of a metal-melting outburst

⛈️Jetstorm

Like I said earlier, Jetfire may be the loudest twin, but Jetstorm is the more physically threatening despite their similarities. His wind is something he uses to his advantage, since he has to control such a strong energy, his strength is slightly better than Jetfire's

He may be more loose than Jetfire when it comes to your interactions, but he is also protective. One time, you were speaking to Sentinel when he almost blew a gasket, and when he nearly yelled at you, the flying Autobot glared, making the Prime stand down in slight fear

He knows you can handle yourself, but he feels the need to protect you. Sometimes it can seem like he was coddling, and whenever you brought this up to him, he would apologize, and you could tell it was sincere. His Decepticon CNA just messes with his processor like it does with Jetfire

Speaking of his CNA, he may be less showing when it comes to his dark thoughts, but make no mistake; he, much like his brother, would do anything to keep you safe. Nothing would be bad enough to keep their love safe

🔥⛈️ But, despite their flaws, the twins do prove to be good partners. They don't get jealous of one another badly, instead they just pout like sparklings until you pay them the same amount of attention as you did their sibling

🔥⛈️ Jetfire and Jetstorm also like to take you patrolling with them. While it may not be easy to handle, as they were rarely ever free after the Decepticon lock-up, since they were still looking up for any rogue signals, they would try making any time up for you

🔥⛈️ When you returned to Cybertron after getting the 'Cons locked away, you were appointed as a head in the Council, a Bot who would replace Longarm Prime, or rather Shockwave, and would lead the Cybertronian Intelligence unit

🔥⛈️ After taking that position, you managed to get Ratchet back into the medical field as a head medic, you got Bee and Bulkhead into the Elite Guard (though they still had to move up the ranks on their own), you helped attempt to repair the relationship between Optimus and Sentinel (with the help of Jazz), and you got Prowl to be marked down in the history data-pads as the hero that helped remove the threat of the Decepticons from Cybertron that he was

🔥⛈️ It was hard to adjust to such a ranking change and with the additional work that came with said position, but you proved to be very capable of it. And with your future sparkmates by your sides, you could handle any challenge you faced

[plaidos]

previous anon here. i get what ur saying here but i think there’s a fundamental misunderstanding in thinking someone who complains about plastic surgery is complaining about ALL plastic surgery. i think someone joking that “if ur thinking about getting lip fillers/a nose job that’s the devil speaking” (which is usually the main form i see) isn’t the same as someone demonizing life saving procedures. there’s nuance. to use your metaphor, if i hate the meat industry, im going to criticize meat. and there ARE ethical ways of meat production, but the industry at large sucks. and it’s weird to deal with as a trans person who has wanted gender affirming cosmetic surgery, but also hates the way most cosmetic surgeons treat and speak to other trans ppl (especially the ones who aren’t WASPs).

i've said this in the notes and i'll say it again here: i am not misunderstanding that somebody who complains about plastic surgergy is complaining about ALL plastic surgery. i just think that "i hate plastic surgery" is an absolutely categorically unacceptable way to shorten your complex & legitimate feelings on the topic because of the fucking atmosphere around trans surgeries at the moment.

also, no if you hate the meat industry you dont need to "criticise meat" this is the exact same thought terminating nonsense im ttalking about. meat literally itself is not unethical. there is nothing to criticise about meat itself. it is literally the industry and standards throughout society that you should be criticising.

you are not progressive & subversive for saying "i hate plastic surgergy". this isn't a "i hate men" situation, plastic surgery is vital and necessesary for some people to survive, and you are denigrating those people when you callously pretend that "i hate plastic surgery" is in any way a meaningful & believable shortening for "i am against the racist, xenophobic, antisemitic practices rife in the culture surrounding cosmetic surgery". there will never be a way you can say the words "i hate plastic surgery" that makes that opinion justifiable.

[birinboom]

Wind Breaker Boys Reacting to Spam Calls

Sakura Haruka He’s so surprised at getting a call from an unknown number that he picks up without realizing it’s a suspected scam call. Once he realizes -and he only does because Suo and Nirei warned him about scam calls- he cusses out the caller for preying on innocent people and hangs up, blocking the number

Umemiya Hajime, Tsugeura Taiga, Tomiyama Chouji, Inugami Teruomi Each one decide to have fun with it, blabbing on and on like they would to a friend. Gardening, working out, doing the dishes, eating, going to the bathroom, all of it is done while still on the call, talking non-stop. They all feel just a little sad when the caller eventually hangs up. They were getting along so well…

Suou Hayato, Kiryuu Mitsuki They also decide to have fun with it, but they take a slightly meaner turn. Spinning as weird and outrageous a story as they can to see how long they can keep the caller on the line. They justify it as ‘if I keep them busy they can’t bother someone else.’ Oh crap, is that a wasp?? I’m terribly allergic to wasps, if it stings me you might need to call an ambulance… *silent giggles*

Togame Jou He is another person who decides to have fun, but he does it by talking as slowly as he can, pretending to be sleepy and disoriented, and droning on and on about the wrong thing (according to the very frustrated caller)

Sugishita Kyoutarou He purposefully picks up scam calls only to say nothing whatsoever, trying to make the caller as uncomfortable as possible. At most he lets out a heavy, annoyed sigh if they say something particularly egregious

Nirei Akihiko, Hiiragi Touma They both ignore the call. Nirei is too shy to pick up a known scam call and have fun with it, even if he desperately wishes he could. And Hiiragi takes one look at his phone, sighs, and puts it back down with the screen facing downwards. He cannot bring himself to care

Kaji Ren Like Nirei and Hiiragi, Kaji doesn’t pick up. But it’s due to his phone being on silent and he doesn’t notice the call until much later. Oh well, if it was actually important, they’ll have to try again. And again. And again. Boy never picks up

Thank you so much for reading! Likes, comments, reblogs, and asks (on and off anon) are always greatly appreciated! If you like what you’ve read, please check out my other works. Love, Em 💖

Do not repost, redistribute, copy, modify, record, translate, or plagiarize my writing. If you see someone posting my writing claiming it as their own, or posting a narration of my writing, please let me know!

[machveil]

Important marriage question because I just had a spider try to assassinate me while I was in the bathroom with my pants down: How do these strong lethal elite men handle bugs? Do they kill them, scoop em up and throw em outside, call in a third person to handle it? Are there any bugs they refuse to handle at all? Can I pay them in kisses (and other things, I'm willing to negotiate) to come over at 1 in the morning to handle a giant spider I saw that disappeared when I left to get a shoe? I'm desperate, it's getting colder and the bugs seem to think that means it's acceptable to enter my space without paying rent or folding laundry -🐸

wait, because you’re so real for that 🐸 anon—

CoD Headcanon: Man vs Nature

in one corner we have a hunky, beefy soldier, in the other corner? the deadly, vile spider just a common house spider! who’s coming out on top? who’s calling for backup? who is abandoning the room and letting the spider live rent free? find out with our featured contestants: Simon “Ghost” Riley, John “Soap” MacTavish, König

CW: creepy crawlies, bug smooshing, handling bugs, generally talking about insects and arachnids nondescriptly

Simon “Ghost” Riley:

it’s dead.

actually, in all seriousness, I think Simon hates insects and arachnids. it doesn’t matter if it’s considered a ‘cute’ bug, they just freak him out. he wouldn’t let it show, he’ll go about business straight faced, but sometimes you’ll see him flinch if a bug gets too close to his face

as big and tough as he is, I have this one goofy headcanon that it’s late spring on base and the 141 are just takin’ a stroll off duty as a group. maybe they’re goin’ for drinks, maybe it’s just a walk around base, but a bug catches Ghost off guard - rare, I know

what was the bug? a stupid butterfly, it came up behind him and got all up in his face. he definitely flinched back and automatically swatted it away. Soap and Gaz will not let him live that down, Price only brings it up after a few drinks

if you need him to kill a spider or a bug he’ll do it in a heartbeat. he’ll play it off that it’s for you so you don’t have to worry… but Simon just doesn’t like creepy crawlies in the house. he’ll roll up an old magazine or grab a shoe - just like the battlefield, Simon shows no mercy

he despises killing flies, he always misses them and it drives him nuts. he’d rather listen to Soap bring up the butterfly incident than try to hit a fly. ironically, he’s better at getting gnats - in my opinion, the smaller fly

my rating for Simon “Ghost” Riley on this matter is a solid 7/10 - he will get rid of spiders via a swift magazine swat. he’s not the best with flies, but otherwise he’s pretty reliable. I’d say he wins against nature here

John “Soap” MacTavish:

Johnny screams when there’s a spider. is he a bazillion times larger than it? yes, does it freak him out? absolutely. he can handle insects just fine, wasps wig him out though. he’ll curse at a critter before remembering he can kill it

he definitely threatens bugs, “Aye— ya get out, I’ll come for ya wee family next.”, as he’s going to grab a shoe. absolutely panics when he comes back and the bug is just… gone. he’ll quarantine that room, no one is allowed in or out until he finds the stupid thing. it’s high stakes, especially if it’s a spider. he’ll tell you to not come in even if you hear him scream, he promises he’ll get it

he’s definitely the type that feels like his skin is crawling when a bug lands on him. even if he swats it off, Johnny will have to, like, wash his hands a little just so he can feel clean. he really only does that at home, he’ll suck it up when he’s on base or walking around, but he hates feeling icky after a bug lands on him, “I’ll be back, gotta wash my hands.”

he does like the generically cute bugs though, he’ll pick up random bugs and unintentionally terrorize you with them because he thinks they’re cool. he’s brought a handful of pill bugs into the house before - says they’re cute and you should poke one, “Look at ‘em! They jus’ roll up, see—“, panics when he drops one and feels genuinely bad

if a spider is bigger than, like, his thumb he’s calling someone. he’s seen those freaky videos of spiders lunging at the cameraman, he doesn’t want that happening to him. he’d definitely call Ghost or Gaz if one of them is nearby, he’s not afraid to whine about a spider in the corner of a room and ask for them to kill it

my rating for John “Soap” MacTavish is a solid 4/10 - while it’s a little low it’s mostly because he 1) might be too scared to whack a bug for you and 2) he might just bring more bugs into the house to show you. he’ll get rid of little bugs, but if it’s too big he’ll cower with you

König:

there’s a bug? “Ah— don’t worry, Liebling, I’ll get it. Oh, it’s a yellow garden spider, they’re actually called argiope aurantia. They—”, certified bug yapper. I’ll always say it, König is a nature lover. as a kid he definitely went out into the woods to just hang out and get away from people

he probably borrowed a dozen books from his local library on nature, anything from critters to foliage. he’s got a deep respect for animals - even the creepy crawlies. if it’s not venomous or bound to break skin, König has no problem scooping up a bug or arachnid with his bare hands absolute freak. he’ll just walk to the front door and let it outside…

unless it’s cold out, then you have a problem with König. rationally, he knows it’s absurd, but can’t you just let the spider live in the corner of that room? it’s not hurting anyone, Liebling :(

if it’s unseasonably cold, frigid air outside he’ll grumble and grab a tissue - a little bummed about having to kill that house spider. he’d rather you be comfortable in your own home, sure, but it’s just a little guy to him. at least König has a height advantage, no bug is outside his reach

he’s generally a pacifist towards insects and arachnids - the exception being mosquitoes. he knows they play a part in the ecosystem and blah, blah, blah, but they get on his nerves! and skin

he’ll douse you in bug repellent if you go hiking with him, he does the same thing to himself. if he gets bit by a mosquito he’ll complain about how itchy the bite is for days - has to put a bandaid over bites so he doesn’t scratch at them

my rating for König is a crisp 8/10. he’d be a 9/10 if he didn’t insist on letting spiders live during the winter - one time he got away with it for a week before you woke up to it on the wall next to you. he’s slowly given up on letting them stay after that, mumbling apologies while he scooped it up with a tissue

[honey-minded-hivemind]

I like the idea of being called wasp anon thank you for giving me a name :)

And more silly ideas for X-Men au's

I've dubbed one "what's one more" because silly names are fun

Reader is a homeless teen who sees the mansion and breaks in one night planning to steal some food and stuff that a rich person wouldn't notice missing, when raiding the fridge one of the X-Men I'm thinking someone with a mutation that effects their looks (Kurt, Morph, anyone else) comes down stairs because of the noise they just think reader is another student they haven't met yet getting a snack reader realized "these people are like me!" And goes along with it in hopes of not getting in trouble.

They offer to walk reader back to their room letting them lead the way, reader who imagine having a mutation that lets them know where people are (enhanced smell or hearing as a part of their mutation) picks an empty room and says that they definitely live there and choses to stay the night and leave in the morning but they don't they meet all these nice people who think there new and they just play along somehow always narrowly missing the telepaths that could learn the truth, leaving the kitchen seconds before Xavier enters, checking out a library book and leaving moments before Jean enters looking for the exact book reader checked out.

Reader plays along because food, a warm bed, clean clothes, and no one judges them because of their mutation.

They take it as far as coming up with a fake schedule for classes and going to study sessions, heck reader didn't even know what and "X-Men" was until they managed to get their hands on one of the schools pamphlets.

Teachers, storm, Logan ect, just think that the email about reader joining their class got lost in the junk folder full of emails from parents screeching about grades or hateful emails from anti-mutent groups that got their emails.

They think they just forgot to mark reader as living in their dorm.

Reader lies about why they don't go in the danger room they just have a horrible medical condition that they conveniently forgot the name of

Reader makes sure to stay out of trouble to avoid having interaction with teachers that could figure them out.

The teens are now really obsessed with their new friend that just seemed to show up overnight their nice and kind and helped Kurt pick his lock after he left his key in his room! (Reader made them promise to never ask where they learned that skill) And they never go to parent teacher night saying their parents are just way too busy and live in another state.

Then there's the adults, reader is this child who showed up one day and started going to their classes and sat alone until they were invited for lunch by the teens they worry about reader they always seem on edge and only had three pairs of clothes until Jubilee invited them to go shopping they offer after school help but reader never shows up even if their failing they once saw reader pickpocket a kid who stole kitty's hair clip and get it back plus the kids wallet (they chose to ignore the theft) they wonder where reader learned these skills but feel it's rude to ask.

Until reader gets hurt one day when playing tag with the teens and they go to email readers parents about the incident they realize reader isn't in the school system infact reader never met Professor Xavier and it all comes to a head with reader sitting in the medical bay in a cast confused as to why every adult is shoving adoption papers in their face.

All in all it's just a bunch of chaotic lies and tactical bullshitting on readers part that they hope people believe.

It can be for literally any X-Men series.

Anyways thank you for listening to me ramble -the newly dubbed wasp anon!

F*ck yes, Wasp Anon! (I apologize for the long wait!)

This seems like maybe it'd fit in my reboot au of X-Men Evolution, X-Men Revolution, or The Animated Evolution, if you combined Evolution with TAS/97...

Reader, a homeless teen who was kicked out, snuck into this loaded house that full of more things than they've ever owned, it doesn't have mold or roaches, and theres food, LOTS of it. They're raiding the fridge, they're on high alert, they're gobbling whatever is closest and easiest to open, and then completely get lost in the fact they're eating for the first time in days and the food is good.

They're so lost in it, they don't notice Morph walk in, hoping to grab a glass of water, only to stumble on... a new kid? Huh. Must be recent. Well, mihht as well introduce themself and make sure they get back to bed, it's a school night! They ask to take a snack to bed, and well, why not? So off they go to find their room... and huh, the one this kid, Reader, they said their name was, lives in is a bit dull... Hmmm... this means a shopping trip is in order! They can do that this weekend! They bud the new kid good night, tell them where the bathroom and shower is, and leave an extra blanket by the door in case they need it.

Reader can't believe their luck. One, they'd didn't get caught; two, they now live here; three, they have FOOD. This. Is. Gold. They better keep this up though! If they get kicked out, they really will be sh*t out of luck, again... Except maybe since that person was weird, maybe this is a place for weird people? Huh...They can work with this-

Kurt is excited to have a new classmate, and they know how to pick locks and climb walls and how to hide snacks! They're so cool! And their mutation is useful, helping them sense where things are and different pheromones and how crowded a room is! It's like a dolphin, or a bat, or an owl, or something! Very rad!

Scott is trying to figure out when he missed the new kid coming in, but he figures they arrived late and just went to sleep. Of course they also know how to jerry rig first aid and are a master at capture the flag and hide and seek training. He wonders if they had to hide from someone before... Hmmm... He thinks their parents shouldn't visit. Or ever be near them again, if they're this jumpy about getting caught with food or hiding their protein bars. He'll try to keep an eye out for them...

Jubilee likes this new kid! They know have to how fun, they can do all kinds of tricks, and they are so good at color matching! They're perfect for shopping trips and picking out clothes to wear and new music to try! She's a bit concerned when they hide, or want to be alone, because that's not healthy signs, according to Xavier and Logan... She knows! She'll be their new friend, and help them break out of their shell! Then they won't be so scared, and she'll have a new friend, and everyone can have fun!

Logan is surprised to see a new kid in his classes, but assumes Xavier added a new student at the last minute. He's a little more suspicious when they happen to struggle with some of the homework. A few tutoring sessions in, and he finds they're a smart kid, they were just missing a few of thr basics. Who taught this kid? They're great when they understand what they're doing, but who forgot to teach them basics like subtraction and how to properly use adjectives in sentences? Sweet Nature, he has some words for their last teacher...

When the new kid ends up hurt during a training session, the Professor tries to find their paperwork so he can contact their parents or guardian or family... and discovers none. A bit more digging reveals they are not in fact a signed in student, but a runaway. And he feels sympathy for them. He looks up what he can about their real name amd background, and is horrified horrified find they ran away from home due to developing their gift, and being rejected... Well. That won't do at all. He decides to launch an investigation, and offers to have Reader placed under his or his friends' care...

What do you mean you don't need to be adopted? Yes you do, poppet, now please pick who you want as your legal guardian so we can start helping you get better. No, no arguing. You will rest, and we will talk about it later. Good. Now get some rest, and sweet dreams... We'll wake you up later to talk after a nap...

[lunarw0rks]

hi! im not sure if you do any requests like this but if you wouldn't mind, with ghost or konig, where the reader is depressed and has suicidal ideations and ghost/konig save them before it's too late? ive gone through somewhat similar things and it would be comforting reading someone be there for them!

A/N: I don't mind requests like this, just read with caution, please! To anon, or anyone reading that has gone through this, you deserve happiness and are loved!! "988" is the nationwide hotline ♡

┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° I hope you don't mind, but I chose Ghost since I haven't written for Kӧnig (YET) Italics are Simon's perspective when it's happening at the same time as reader.

Summary: You feel swallowed by depression, but Simon saves you just in time.

Warning(s): depression, talk of suicide, PTSD themes - DO NOT READ IF THIS TRIGGERS YOU!!, established relationship, GN!Reader, no use of y/n, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff at the end

Word Count: 1.5k

꒦꒷ MAIN MASTERLIST ꒷꒦ GHOST MASTERLIST // have a request? ♡¸.•*' | ao3 ver.

In Your Arms // Drabble

The world's weight had been on your shoulders; the constriction on your chest gave you a constant state of crisis, the strain on your heart soon to break it to pieces, and most of all the strain on your mind.

Each waking moment was a gamble of numbness or overdrive. In the instances of numbness, you were withdrawn, coasting your way through meals, laying awake at night with a blank stare. When you were in overdrive, it was like each bad thought physically pilled itself atop you, increasing your irritability and defensiveness.

It was as if the real you were trapped inside somewhere, but you were being overruled by an enclosure of gloom.

Chores, conversations, and the people you loved dearly became a melancholy hassle. You hated every second of it, and most of all hated yourself for behaving like this. At first, you were begging for an out—some savior to snap you out of it.

But now, you felt hopeless—and were making plans to give yourself that out.

You finally had an opportunity, a few hours where you’d have the house to yourself, with Simon out for a few hours. The problem was, gathering the courage. Even though you had the thoughts raining down on you, it was a decision you would never be able to take back.

You were sat in the shared bedroom, on top of the bed you’d just remade. It had been God knows how long by now, and all you could do was stare blankly at the wall ahead, choking back sobs. You looked at his side of the room, seeing the stark contrast between his and yours.

When you thought of him, how he’d be better off this way, it nudged you toward your answer.

Simon noticed your off-balance behavior the day he arrived home. Despite telling you how lovely you looked, he could tell the isolation of his deployment had taken its toll. The bags under your eyes, the dark circles worsening, your sudden change in eating habits—something he greeted like an old friend.

He, of all people, understood the feeling. He just didn’t know how to confront it.

He was never good with his words, or his ability to provide comfort physically; he relied on his crisis training, and most of all, how much he loved you.

When he said he was going out with friends, he was. At first. He found himself sitting in the driveway with a pit in his stomach, his anxieties swallowing him. He was protective, to begin with, but paired with the behavior changes, he was practically trembling at the thought of something horrible happening.

He was white-knuckling the steering wheel, debating on spending his night inside with you. Guilt consumed him for even considering going out anywhere when you’d waited months for him.

His stomach was in knots, twisting and turning, begging him to give in to nausea overtaking him any second. Something was wrong, something was going to happen.

You were fighting yourself again. The thoughts were racing so hard you could swear you heard them buzzing around your head like an angry swarm of wasps, each of them a stinger in your skin.

You reached for the nearest object—the remote—then stood to your feet, sending it plummeting towards the wall in front of you. It shattered the hanging picture frame on impact, sending shards of glass around the bedroom.

It did nothing to silence the thoughts. The sudden rush of fury only fueled them, begging for you to do something more to stop them—the only option you felt you had left.

He had his car door open, gathering his things before he was on his way inside. He’d made his decision, he would rather spend the night with you.

Simon’s trained ear heard the faint shatter of glass, seeing that the upstairs bedroom was the only one lit. There was no hesitation; no second thought to make sure it wasn’t a critter in the garbage can or another household.

He unlocked the door swiftly, a hand hovering over the holster underneath his jacket. The downstairs was clear, nothing askew. He next went up the stairs, leaning in the direction of the bedroom to pick up any sound coming from it.

In his mind, he was fearing the worst, paired with the anxiety he was already having in the car. He’d been here before, with too many people. It couldn’t, no, wouldn’t happen again, not with you.

When the door creaked open, it revealed you, shriveled against the wall with your head in your hands. Beside you, was a broken picture frame, sent flying into pieces around the room. His mind put the pieces together—the irritability, the insomnia, the withdrawn behavior, his gut feeling—all coming together now.

But his worst fears hadn’t come true. You were alive. Alive, and in need of his help. His gut feeling, that painful ache in his stomach when he left, it was right.

His knees dropped to the ground beside you, ignoring the slices forming through his clothes. His entire focus was on you, nothing else.

“Love…” He whispered, grabbing ahold of your knee to make you look his way. When your pooled eyes met him again, he felt like his heart had been ripped in two.

The sight of you, the pain written in your expression. Not physical pain, not heartache, but hopelessness. A specific, known too well by him, expression.

Simon could barely stand it, the person he practically breathed for, fought for, succumbing to their sorry—and he could’ve been too late. The warmth of your flesh under his fingertips, how it shivered, he knew you were still here, still breathing.

He was at a loss for words, even for a man who spoke very little. Angry at himself, not you, for not saying something earlier on. His withdrawal was both a blessing and a curse—a lesson well learned, now that his life with you had flashed before him.

Without a second thought, he scooped you up, setting you gently on the neat bed. He remained standing in front of you, staring down at you with a foggy expression.

“I’m sorry,” You muttered, blinded by the tears.

Simon visibly shook his head, forcing yours into his chest. It wasn’t your fault, and if he could force you to believe that, he would. He didn’t have words to give you, only the comfort of his presence. He just held you; held onto your frame as you wept into his abdomen, soaking through the fabric of his tee.

Tears only teased at his own eyes, but never made it past them. Though internally, he was weeping for you, nearly inconsolable.

It was his job to follow orders, to do his duty. His duty now, was you. He had to be strong for you, always, otherwise he had no purpose left on this Earth.

When the sobs had turned into defeated sniffles, he dropped to his knees to meet your eye level. Him, never one for eye contact, but he couldn’t take his eye off you now.

“I’m here now, I promise.” His deep voice echoed through the room, bouncing off your repines for his comfort.

You were still in shock, how one minute ago you were so close to the edge, but the next he was by your side. The sorrow only subsided for the moment, but with him as a distraction, you knew you had at least one person there for you. One person who understood what you were going through, no doubt about it.

His large hands, the ones stained with the blood of his hands, gently cradling your face until you were lucid enough to give him your full attention. He was there for you, no matter how hard the stubborn thoughts tried to convince you he wasn’t.

They moved from your face, to your neck and arms, then your fingers, searching for any sign of physical injury.

“Let me help you, please…” Simon placed a small kiss on one of the tear droplets streaming down, wiping away the rest with his thumb. His hand went down again, clasping around yours tenderly as he routed you to the shared bathroom.

He grabbed a spare cloth off the rack, wetting it slightly in the sink as he traced it along each tear stain, his other hand on your waist the entire time. He was focused and stiff, but his eyes were gentle.

When he finished, he cupped your face again, touching his lips to yours, then your temple. “You are everything to me, got it?” He whispers against your forehead, eyes still wide, reeling with the shock of nearly losing you.

Your head was in his chest again as one hand remained on your waist, the other holding your head in place. He was savoring this, not taking you for granted for a second.

Deep inside, he was picturing all those months he’d left you alone to feel like this.

How each tear he wiped was a lash of regret. He was going to make up for it from now on. Whether he could help you one on one, or you talk to a professional, he would back you every step of the way.

That was his duty.

[blakebow]

A reminder: Blake and Yang are canonically in love and there's nothing you can do about it. Enjoy stewing in impotent hatred why we enjoy a glorious, beautiful romance. Love always wins against hate.

[deadbeatbirdmom]

Happy Valentine's Day my fellow RWBY fans. This should be a day focused on love. Which is why I'm going to talk about something that's been troubling me for a while. This isn't about any single post, and I'm not singling anyone out. I'd put this under a read more cut but I think it's important enough not to do that. Scroll down for TLDR and a poll.

One of the common courtesies of tumblr etiquette is: don't tag hate with things like a ship tag or character tag. Or should be common, but let's face it, it's more like uncommon.

A good chunk of tumblr users who I end up blocking are those who post hate in tags like the 'Bumbleby' tag, or 'Yang Xiao Long' tag (it'd be the 'RWBY' tag too, but I don't often go there and rarely post in it). No, it's not toxic to block people, it's how you control your tumblr experience. It's how I avoid seeing hate, or try to.

But there are some tumblr users who I don't want to block but also end up putting hate in the tags: some of my fellow fans. It's not intended the same way as those who do it out of spite, but the end result is the same: your fellow fans end up seeing stuff they might prefer not to.

There's another rule, an old one that predates tumblr: don't feed the trolls. Don't give them attention. Please delete anon hate rather than answer it, although I definitely understand how trolling trolls can be fun. Just please don't tag it with the main tags or you'll do the anon's work for them if it's hate about a ship or character.

I see all too much fan art around that gets far less engagement than posts trying to fight back against hate (and unfortunately share the hate at the same time, especially when it's something from elsewhere like reddit or twitter). If you like the art, don't only hit that heart button, reblog it too!

RWBY fandom isn't dead, but we do need to do our part to encourage artists to make and share more art. Likes alone don't help the art get in front of more fans. I don't think everyone looks in the tags to find art, some will rely on those they follow reblogging art. This goes for sharing fic too! And giving fic writers comments (and kudos on AO3).

This is an appeal to keep negativity out of the main tags. I'm not saying you can't post whatever you want, just when it comes to tagging: please spare a thought for your fellow fans who are incredibly tired of negativity. If all else fails, maybe include a tag that can be added to filters? 'Wasps' for posts about Bumbleby hate, maybe?

I don't know about anyone else, but if I wanted to see hate and get angry, I'd be on twitter or reddit. I check tags here on tumblr to find fan art, and to see fellow fans talking about how much they love RWBY and its characters and ships, and find interesting theories and analysis.

I'm also not entirely sure how tumblr works with followed tags and words mentioned in posts. Do untagged posts still show up if the word appears in the post? Does that mean breaking the word with a backslash or something to avoid it showing up? I don't know, perhaps something to consider.

TLDR: please don't feed the trolls and don't tag hate with main tags. Show RWBY fan artists and fic writers some love and reblog their posts, and comment on fics!

One last thing: a poll to find out if I'm an outlier and posting hate is actually normal in this post-twitter world.

[beloveds-embrace]

I hope it's alright to send you like a Thing about my life that I imagine happening with the boys

I'm helping out an elderly neighbor kill an underground wasps nest (so can't use petrol to kill em with fumes) bur I imagine the boys seeing reader our in a raincoat, heavy duty cargo pants and a mask waddling over to the nest while the boys are inside, they just got home and reader doesn't know so she's got a hose and some chemicals and the boys rush out, try to help and get stung but reader kills the nest etc etc I haven't thought that far. I thought of them watching reader in a big yellow raincoat, pants tucked into socks and wellies tucked into an outer pair of pants (maybe one of the boys pair) she stole a spare gas mask from their kit and the boys are so confused

anyone who is willing to go near wasp nests deserves a big applause you scare and amaze me anon 😭 but also!! have you seen those tiktoks of women walking around their partner with a ladder and how fast their partners get up from stress and shock? same exact thing here the boys are immediately alarmed by seeing you like that lolol 😭