#if you seriously ate a wasp then PLEASE go to a doctor or something

[lover-of-skellies]

I ate a wasp, help

Turn on smooth jazz. I heard bees like jazz, that'll calm it down

[musicin68]

Totally Disco, Issue #4

Episode 4: The Butcher's Knife Cares Not For The Lamb's Cry

"Make sure you stay out of the tardigrade fields. They're cute but they'll eat you. " - Janet Van Dyne, Ant Man and the Wasp

One of the things I love about Star Trek is how small they make space feel. It's ridiculous, awful, awful science. Space is big. As Douglas Adams so elegantly wrote, "vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big". On any given day in Starfleet they encounter cosmic storms, nebulae, quantum filaments, spatial rifts, tachyon fields, wormholes, dark matter, rogue comets, and today specifically, the gravity well of an O-type star. And it never fails to make me laugh. Hell, a flagship might run into all of these at once. You know where a ship using a faster than light drive that fell out of a "jump" would most realistically end up? Nowhere. As in "the middle of". Because space is horrifically big! Seriously, as a concept, it is nightmare fuel. Of course, that ship would immediately be attacked by Cylons. But that's a given. They look like us now.

Spoilers...

Oooh! Guest staring Michelle Yeoh! Maybe...oh, it's a recording.

Oh god. They ate her. I am not generally sentimental about death. A body is a body. When a person dies the person part is gone, but I'm still so unhappy they killed her at all it just...ugh thank you ever so much for that image, writers.

And then you go and say something like rage glands. Classic Trek ridiculous. Ripper? Eh, I’m sticking with Alice. The tardigrade is definitely a girl. Aaand, oh look, I don't have to learn Security Chef's name. Glad we're back to knocking off crew members. It was getting crowded in here. 

Pippin, lighter of torches, must give up everything! What does that mean? What is everything to a Klingon? TNG taught me that as a Klingon, if you don't have honor you don't have anything. So definitely going to have to give up that. House Mókai (yup, that name I remember, diacritic and all) are deceivers (sounds like spies to me) according to L'Rell. Lying is pretty dishonorable, but I imagine she would call it practical. She prefers to work from behind the scenes. I bet she likes keeping her head attached to her neck and getting shit done. My kind of girl.

Sorry, I zoned out there for a moment. Where was I? Right, he's going to have to give up everything... oh. Oh! Why did T'Kuvma start this in the first place? To "Remain Klingon". That’s what they all keep yelling. If that's "everything" to him...Pippin doesn't get to remain Klingon. The spies are going to make him something else and change his face like in Trouble with - Holy shit! Lorca has a tribble. It's on his desk. It's been making cute noises, that now sound strangely like Chekov's gun, for the last two episodes! That is awesome!

Wait. Is this why they redesigned the Klingons? And made me read subtitles? (I know. I don't speak Klingon. What kind of Trekkie am I?!) So I wouldn't recognize the spies when they show up on Discovery's crew manifest? I mean Worf and B'Elanna look different, but are recognizable out of full Klingon TNG/VOG makeup. Romulan Troi and Yar still looked like themselves. Ugh. No! It is, isn't it. That is just...insulting. I'm not even sure I can explain why... If your plot twist is that dependant on shock valve to be enjoyable, it's just...I am hesitant to say "bad", but I'm not watching Momento here. I don't know. I was very excited a paragraph ago and now I am disappointed by the presumed execution of a plot point I am guessing at. Okay, Discovery. Please, prove me wrong. Also, if we're talking about makeup, is L’Rell’s name just a play on L'Oreal?

There are some interesting comparisons set up for us between Michael and Pippin. They both once held positions of respect and leadership in their respective cultures and are now outcasts. Their mentors were both people of conviction and principle and are now dead (in the same conflict no less). They have both been offered a way to regain something they’ve lost. I look forward to seeing how they contrast as the story moves forward.

Parting shots: → 1.There are an awful lot of people telling me that Captain Creepy is a bad man and a questionable leader, at best. Chef tells Michael that Lorca’s only interested in what she can do for him, and by extension everyone around him. Saru says that Michael will fit right in with Lorca when she manipulates him to find out Alice isn't threatening. One more time: THESE ARE NOT GOOD QUALITIES. Give me Georgiou or give me...right you already gave me death. Fuck you, writers. → 2. Role call! Burnham, Saru, Tilly, Stamets, Alice, Lorca, Chef, Georgiou, T'Curse-you-for-killing-her, L'Rell - Bridger of Houses, Kol - Stealer of Ships, Admiral Cornwell (Another woman in charge!), Pippin (only figuratively dead, but I wanna cross off more names). There's a doctor too. Are we all here yet? → 3. I'm just going to hook this thing I don't know what it does or how it works to my engines. That seems like a good idea, right? Then I'm going to beam a creature in with it, turn it on, and see what happens. Even after our sister ship had a horrible accident, killing everyone aboard, while doing something similar - we are undoubtably certain this is the best course of action. God I love Star Trek. → 4. Even hologram Georgiou is a better captain than Lorca.