#go play Signalis it's really good

[wonderblundrart]

"Both of us, we are incomplete. Let us become whole again."

So I played Signalis.

[five-one-two-station]

Thinking about how good @arainydancer is, and how lucky the Signalis fandom is to have her. Every little gesture feels so organic, even with the fairly minimal low poly models, and the amount of story/feeling/movement is always *just* right to hit the mark every time.

Look at You Are My One Desire. There's so much going on, but it all makes sense together! It should be visually smashy and chaotic, but there's a thread of poetry to cohere every image. The gory violence wouldn't mean anything without the contrasting gentle intimacy; the gentle intimacy wouldn't be as convincing without the unapologetic sex (and they aren't at odds with each other). The unapologetic sex wouldn't mean anything without the gory violence and gentle intimacy. And doesn't that last shot bring all of it together at once brilliantly?

It's less than a minute long, and it delivers a bigger wallop than plenty of 2 hour movies!!!

And then on the other hand, you've got stuff like Anata Sonata, which on paper is pretty much just Elster playing a bit of halting, rudimentary index finger piano, in a nearly silent room, for the best part of that same 60 second minute. But because of how it's composed, because of the underlying mini-narrative and the confidence in telling it, and because of all the threads of subtext and implication involved, it's really a gorgeously crafted, sharply effective bit of tragic love story-ing, and it knocks the wind out of me every time.

But don't let me forget stuff like the one with Ariane "helping" with repairs. Isn't that just the sweetest goddamn thing you've ever seen in your life? Doesn't it feel exactly right for both characters, even though - in many ways - the game only lets us see them both as their own ghosts? Doesn't the casual, practical body language tell you all about their months, years, of undisturbed closeness? Doesn't it tell you everything about both these two very different people, and how they live life on the ship, and why they would fall in love? Didn't you giggle at the whole cute as hell scenario? 20 seconds! All of that in 20 seconds!

She has the range!!!

Anyway, just taking a moment to rave.

[social---moth]

a love letter to my favorite game

My favorite game is unlike any game I’ve played, comparing it to anything else i’ve played feels unfair, it’s barely a game but it could occupy my top 10 games by itself

It isn’t the most fun, engaging, adrenaline rush ever, ultrakill or titanfall have it comfortably beat in that category

It doesn’t have the most well constructed narrative, signalis has more intrigue and disco elysium is a better character study

but all of those are constructed, you always feel the hand of the author

There are games with better character creators, but they don’t let you actually *play* your characters

in baldurs gate you can change basically anything about your appearance, but at the end of the day the preset dialogue the developers came up with is your only real option for roleplaying

which is understandable, letting a character say *anything* would be basically impossible, there’s no way for an AI to account for every possibility. Though it still feels like half measure, like i’m playing a customized variant of a default character

The trick is to pack 100+ people into a game and let the situation unfold

A simulated space station with simulated air, you need a proper mix of Nitrogen and Oxygen or else you’ll suffocate (or waste oxygen)

your characters body is the most in depth health bar i’ve seen in a game

you have blood, everyone has an appropriate blood type, and getting the wrong type is toxic. If you get shot the bullet can cause internal bleeding, which you need surgery to fix.

The same bullet can hit your bone, breaking it, a broken hand won’t let you hold something, a broken leg will slow you down, a broken skull will be very bad for any important organs that happen to be in it

if you get hurt enough, your body goes into shock

it gets harder to breathe, you gasp for air and collapse onto the ground, struggling to get back up before dying, if you don’t get medical attention you will inevitably die

The Station itself is similar to a body, needing a working engine to pump electricity through the hull, making sure the lights stay on and the doors keep working

Breaches in the hull leak air out, needing an engineer to fix it before the room succumbs to vacuum, if the station computer gets a virus it can pump flammable gas into the same hallways, leading to the most lethal analogue for a fever since plague inc

And every person, the doctor that keeps you from bleeding out, the engineer that keeps the station powered, the security guard that makes sure the law is obeyed

every single one is a real, living human, a person who logs in to the server to play

the stories that this makes is unmatchable, you do something and everyone acts in the unpredictable but sane way that humans do

what happens when a crewmember takes a contract from a rival corporation, or said rival corporation decides that nuking your station would be a good idea

how do people react to a creature straight out of The Thing replacing a crewmate

what happens when a vampire starts abducting people and enthralling them?

what if a Space Wizard attacks?

No round is the same, and I haven’t even talked about half the jobs

There is something to love for anyone

there’s combat with more true to life pacing than dedicated shooters

there’s roleplay with more reactive characters than any constructed narrative

there’s always a way to optimize a system a bit more, always a reason to come back

It is my favorite game, it’s barely a game, it’s a playable movie

I spent my whole life learning lessons from media i watch, because they’re all meant to have a purpose, something to say

but i get really annoyed when someone does something stupid, i wonder what i would have done in their situation, i wouldn’t monologue before killing my victim, i wouldn’t go into the dark hallway with a xenomorph hiding in it

i know i’d find some other way to fuck up, and Space Station 13 gives me the chance to

I see this game in everything, it’s addicting enough that i barely realize i’ve been playing it for 8 hours straight, i have my current *real job* because of this game

and it’s free, short of donating to the people hosting the server, or the people working on the engine itself, you cannot spend money on this game

this game is older than i am, based in an engine that predates Y2K, and nothing released since has captured its magic

Play Space Station 13, you might not like it, it took me 2 tries over 3 years for it to click, but once it did I had hundreds of hours in my first few months of playing

as for where to start? Paradise Station is pretty cool. GoonStation (yes that’s its real name) is way more advanced than any other codebase, at the cost of lag. /TG/ is pretty ubiquitous, at least some code fragments from there are in every server.

Personally, i recommend Para, but each station i mentioned has an appeal to someone

If anyone who reads this gets a bit curious and does any amount of research into the game, I’ll be happy

thank you for your time, and I’ll see you in outer spess

[meowsequence]

My Signalis experience

Seems like many people in community enjoy reading about other players' painful experience with Signalis. So here is the story of how Signalis wrecked me up, enjoy it you little sadistic junkies (just kidding of course, luv you all!)

[ ACHTUNG! Not really spoilers, but also kinda are… ]

I bought Signalis because of the meme I saw ("fucking a robot so hard they bluescreen" and blushing kolibri's face being only thing across the pyramid of individual needs). I was looking for something mildly fun to get inspiration from. Just so you know how legendary unprepared I was to be hit by that train.

In my defence of the way I chose games to play: the meme face was cute and lewd but the character's armour (to my pleasant surprise) wasn't, so I didn't expect Signalis to be dumb hentai game neither.

I'm not a very emotional type in my day-by-day life and I can't stop noticing when authors try to plant an emotional build-up in me so they can trigger it later. I see what they do and it softens the final impact on me. Fucking… Signalis… didn't go that way. Rose-Engine introduced bare minimum of scenes and conversations that was needed to tell the story. So I was too damn busy trying to understand what is going on and when I FINALLY found out enough, there was only one door left to open in the whole game…

There were no more puzzles to focus on, my mind was nearly blank. I went in. The game showed me short final scene (Promise), then kicked me out to the credits and then to the title menu. Rose-Engine didn't even bother to twist the knife in the wound yet again showing about bare minimum in the final scene. That was so painful. I haven't been sleeping for next 50 or 60 hours, I don't fucking remember... I wanted to play again and even started the game couple of times but I didn't go beyond title menu. Above hitting me on so many levels I was simply shocked by how good the overall story is! Was it always possible to make something like that?!

It was an emotional blast and new experience that triggered not only an avalanche of things to think about and revaluate, but also changed something in the very way I see and approach different things and topics now. And this process is far from being over. Besides that Signalis community keep introducing me different kinds of people I had not enough in common to share before.

Not a bad deal for 20 bucks, right? Thanks, Rose-Engine.

[lintwriting]

i think i really love how visceral the politics of signalis is. not just in the in-your-face propaganda aspects. but like, the way it dooms the narrative.

the whole plot of signalis is based around two entirely disconnected settings -- the Penrose ship and the Sierpinski prison. They are so disconnected from each other across time and space that you spend the whole first half of the game disoriented by the whiplash these two locations give you.

and personally? I stayed confused until I realized what connected them:

they're the two branching paths of Ariane's future.

after her military service, she gets a state letter informing her that if she's not accepted into the Penrose program, she'll be sent to Sierpinski, a "re-education" camp that's actually just a prison mine.

And, to her luck, she "somehow did end up joining the Nation's Penrose Program, the same one on the posters she had seen years prior."

I love and hate the way the wiki frames it, because yes the Penrose space expedition program seemed preferable to the prison camp.Yes, she had seen posters of it and glamorized it as a new start for her. After all, she was an art-obsessed outsider in a world where people molded into being unfeeling machines, where art is frivolous and degenerate except for how it serves as propaganda. Why not dream of a new planet?

But it's all a lie. The Penrose program sounds too good to be true for Ariane-- how can this under-qualified, ostracized freak get accepted into such a prestigious program? -- because it IS too good to be true.

The truth of the program is that it's a glorified propaganda tool, and a useful way to get rid of political enemies. Just send them off into space and tell them it's for the good of the empire, to find new planets to colonize. Then, after 7.74 years of loyal service to the program, tell them:

If you have not found a suitable world for landing by this point, accept that you will not. Find solace in the thought that others might be successful where you failed.

Remenber, you will die having served your Nation by partaking in a glorious demonstration of our power. --- End of decrypted transmission ---

As you are probably aware, your ship's spare parts and rations will soon be depleted.

Penrose is ostensibly about founding new colonies on different planets, but the reality is that these vessels seem to have very little planning put into them, like throwing darts at the wall and hoping one of them will stick. Some people wonder about the efficacy of wasting ships of supplies for this seemingly useless endeavor, but they're missing the point and buying into the propaganda.

The truth is that Ariane was just a pawn for their political power play, quite literally a demonstration of their power, like a horrifying version of The Tallest sending Invader Zim on a useless quest to conquer Earth to keep him out of their hair, like Ozai banishing Zuko off to chase a hundred year old myth. And it cost Ariane her future.

And like, that means no matter what, Ariane never had a future. Penrose is death by space, and Sierpinski is death by mines. She never had a choice, only the illusion of one, because she was doomed by the political reality of living in under an authoritarian state that would never value her.

And like, it's so impossible to ignore the similarities of this to the Cultural Revolution in China. I think the retro aesthetic of the nation references that, along with the Chinese characters littering all the walls.

Ariane's story reminds me a lot of Ye Wenjie's story from the 3 Body Problem, as a similarly powerful woman who also dooms the whole world because of the ANGUISH of the Cultural Revolution destroying her future.

Except, unlike Ye Wenjie, we're not going to get a bunch of assholes calling her an Eve, doomer of mankind. Instead, the story actually succeeds at portraying Ariane as a tragedy doomed by the narrative.

[lakemojave]

Hey everyone! Hope you're having a wonderful October and an above average friday!

I come bearing news about things related to twitch! I've been really enjoying my hiatus this month, been catching up on horror movies and playing Persona 3 Reload, and though my mental and physical health have waxed and waned this month I think this break has been really positive! However, over the last couple of days I've had a nearly ceaseless twitch in my left eye. I will not lie, it's kind of driving me crazy. I don't really know what it's about, but my intent is to rest up, eat well, and get a good night's sleep the next few days so this goes away.

That's all, have a good evening guys!

OH you wanted to know about streams. Right. That makes more sense.

I'm coming back soon! Tomorrow we're gonna be going back to Star Wars: Tales of the Rambler, our RP series with Dot, Jordan, Heather and Jill, lead by our GM and proud imperial gooner, Bill! We were gonna have another one of these this month, but unfortunately Jordan got trapped in the trash compactor last week so we had to reschedule a bit.

Anyone got Halloween plans? I do! Because I haven't done any kind of horror games this month I'm planning on doing a marathon of one of my OTHER favorite horror games, one that I've talked about many times but never actually finished on the channel: the blood-soaked space horror classic, SIGNALIS!!! I've played this game a few times and it has never failed to scare the fuck outta me, so if you're around this 31st of October, don't miss it!

HADES 2 GOT A PATCH!!! I haven't played any of it yet! On Friday, November 1st, I'ma sit down and return to Supergiant's latest game with my drink in hand, just like the Olympians of old. I would be a fool not to return to stream with a drunk hades night. This one might also run a little long, expect a night of merriment and unhinged horny chaos!

Hey US folks, I know that every election year really sucks lately, and this one is pretty spicy. Election day can be a huge source of anxiety, so to help provide some honest and entertaining coverage for y'all, me and the gang are gonna do a stream that day too! Not only will we have our ears to the ground for results as they come in on Tuesday the 5th, but Dot, Jordan, newcomer Brett, (and maybe some surprise guests too!) will be conducting a few delightful minigames and segments! We've got tier lists, the campaign trail, a fun hot or not game Dot cooked up, and more!

That's all the upcoming streams I believe! Stay tuned for more announcements for my return in November, including a modified schedule! Very excited to return to you all, see y'all then!

[letsrevince]

hi, sending a random ask because of that post. would you recommend playing signalis? all i really know about it is that it's survival horror and it has those lesbians that you like.

as a guy that has written a couple signalis fics, yeag i can recommend it! Permanently altered me for good, go forth and play it!

[iantimony]

duesday

listening: idk, stuff on my phone on shuffle. some more coral bones youthemism i guess. friends at the table sangfielle, episode 3; i might not actually relisten to the rest of the arcs i already did and just skim the transcripts.

no children (ska remix) by sad snack: im back in my ska era. really funny song to have an upbeat ska tone.

the mountain goats deserters fan album: have not listened to the whole album yet but god, what a cool and unique thing that i don't think could really exist for most other bands. Five Fucking Hours

reading: Polynesian Tattooing Tools, linked from Fairhaven comic

why gen z is obsessed with point-and-shoot digital cameras: it's funny because a few months ago i was considering getting a cheap point-and-shoot to fuck around with. looks like i am not the only one who was thinkin about it.

i'm working my way through le guin's 'the left hand of darkness'! i bounced off it the first time i tried reading it a few years ago but last year i read a le guin short story anthology that had some stories set on karhide and i think that gave me a good enough primer on the world/her writing style to get it to stick this time. i'm enjoying it! it's a good book!

watching: mina le - booktok & the hotgirlification of reading: some good background video for crochet etc. bernadette banner - hand sewing regency stays should be quick...right?: oughhhhh so pretty. bernadette banner - this regency court gown is probably my favorite project ever: i won't lie i got a little misty-eyed at the artisans getting to sign their names on the robe.

rewatched the gay and wondrous life of caleb gallo. i forgot how good it is, it really holds up and is still funny

also, continued doctor who watch/rewatch. i'm ngl i think the way rory and amy were shoved off screen was...really stupid. "he can't go back to that specific year in ny :(" ok, before amy gets zapped back you just go "yo go to new jersey in a few days" and go pick them up. really silly imo

playing: fallow. did buy miserichord, omori, and slay the princess in the steam summer sale. i have signalis, voyager 19, and a short hike in my cart as we speak. more games that i haven't played to feed the steam library let's goooo

making: crocheted some granny squares.

pattern for the yellow one is this lantana square...if anyone has any interesting looking granny square patterns that would be good in one solid color send em my way!

thinking of getting this pattern too.

i realized this past week that my urge to Make has been very stale and derivative the past few years, if that makes sense. like i don't feel Creative, i see something and mimic it - i do paintings based on photos i took, i follow knitting patterns, i come across something ceramic and decide to make one of my own, i find reference images to copy. but no actual, like, Inventing on my own end. i think that's why i haven't done a lot of fanart or fanfiction as well, just no ideas. i know that's just part of the cycle of creativity and i'm just in a "hunter-gatherer" period of amassing skills and references but idk. i'm tired of it. i want to create more meaningful things but i have no actual ideas, the well feels dry, and i'm not sure how to fix that.

eating: fallow

misc: stares at my mom and brother doing politics doomerism re: supereme court ruling in the family group chat. looks away. chants 'nothing ever happens' to myself like a mantra.

[internetskiff]

SIGNALIS SPOILERSSS GO PLAY IT GO PLAY IT IT'S THE BEST SURVIVAL HORROR GAME I'VE EXPERIENCED ... ... ... ... ... ...

I've immediately begun a second playthrough after my first blind one and I've realized something that's probably extremely obvious in hindsight but

technically this is the moment Adler lets it slip that he knows about the loop. He's asked Elster for the picture before she even revealed she had it. He's quite an interesting character to me since it seems like he's the only one who's both aware of the loop and not going insane, or, well, going insane in a different way. Every other Replika's either turned mindless or obsessive but he's still trying to make sense of the loop, and even seemingly trying to maintain it.

Maybe my view of the story is still incomplete since I found out there's more to the game I've yet to see (so far I've only gotten the 'Memory' ending), but what would happen if the loop breaks? Why is Adler so afraid of it? If this is a dream reality, is he afraid that the moment Ariane wakes Sierpinski gets erased from existence? Or, at the very least, this extremely warped perception of the facility?

Also, there's this moment that I can't stop thinking about. I genuinely can't tell if I just didn't take a look at this key before or if Alina's pass photo changed to make her look wounded like this on the second playthrough. I might've just taken the key and booked it because the EULR enemies creeped me out. I think she and Adler are the only people to ever mention seeing an LSTR at Sierpinski, so I'm wondering if they were both just driven mad by bioresonance or if there really was one at the facility at some point. The way Alina talks about her makes it sound as if she was stationed at the facility for a while. Is she just being bombarded with Ariane's memories? Judging from how she mentions off-handedly about feeling sick and she's covered in that many bandages, I assume she was suffering from the same radiation poisoning-like symptoms as everyone else. Genuinely can't stop thinking about this game's story. It feels like absolutely everything connects in some way. It's so fucking good. Apologies if I got anything wrong from what I've gathered so far, trying to be more thorough when it comes to looking at the finer details on the second playthrough. Playing this game mostly blind was the best decision I made, makes me adore every second of it even more.

[quinnydoll]

No quotes from a game have had more layers to me than the initially angsty feeling line, “Perhaps, this is hell”

Let me paint a picture for you. This line came up for me after more than 12 hours of fighting through a host of encounters with what seems to be actual undead cyborgs who all seem to have one singular goal: to kill you in particular.

This whole time, your character has one goal in mind, one singular goal which is her driving force for the entire time she’s spent stranded with a downed ship and a missing partner: Keep your promise. If you’ve played Signalis in its entirety, and at least gotten the “Promise” ending, you know that the promise in question in its literal form isn’t as romantic as one might hope for through the course of the game, but I think there’s more to it than that.

In the end, it doesn’t matter what the promise is, it’s entirely metaphorical, it’s a plot device. The promise is Elster’s driving force to keep going forward, to push to find Ariane. Elster’s promise in the end is to come back, to come home.

I choose to read this line as a rejection of the idea that what Elster is doing is just a pointless hell for the sake of prolonged suffering. Perhaps, this is hell. Perhaps, this is just an agonizing circle of pain, but why should you just let the idea that this world is here to make you suffer make you not fight for what you care about?

anyway, play Signalis if you haven’t, it’s really really good.

[magistralucis]

as someone who also recently played signalis (after over a year of sitting in my library), I'm really enjoying seeing more of it on my dashboard! if you're looking for games that—while not necessarily similar beyond genre and a couple of story elements—are often paired together, I have to recommend 1000xresist. would be very interested to hear your commentary if you decide to give it a go.

Thanks for your message! I hadn't known of Signalis until recently and I was blown away by how good it was 🤩 I'm not a horror game player, generally speaking (I get easily startled), so I'm glad I gave it a chance. I just checked out the Steam page for 1000xresist too and it looks incredible, I will definitely be sure to give it a go 💖

[artversestheworld]

In no particular order they are all fantastic in my eyes! My rating system is based on, Story, Music, Art and Gameplay. 

EASTWARD: 

Is an action adventure role-playing game. Set in a near future world in which humanity has been nearly wiped out by a toxic plague called the “MIASMA”. You play as John a grumpy old miner looking after a child thats not his, Sam on adventure neither of you planned. But boy is it a good adventure! This is another game that I really wish I could play again for the first time. This one took me about 20 hours to beat and I gave it 10/10.

BREATH OF THE WILD:

You know this one. Everybody love it. Just play it. 

OPUS COLLECTION:

Is actually two games in one, Opus: the day we found earth and Opus: Rocket of whispers. TDWFE is an adventure game focused on story and exploring the stars. There isn’t a ton to this one but the story is very cute. ROW is where the real fun is at, it takes place after an apocalyptic plague in a destitute future. You play a John going out and gathering supplies to build a rocket ship to send the souls of the departed to the moon with the help of a friend you find along the way, Fei. This one took me about 10 hours and I gave it 9.5/10

ORI AND THE BLIND FOREST:

Is a platform adventure game. You play as Ari a small white spirit on a journey to restore the forest after a cataclysmic event. It is probably the most difficult game I have on this list but the death revival is very fast so it doesn’t feel as punishing. It took me about 11 hours to beat and I gave it 9/10. 

GOROGOA:

Is a puzzle game about moving tiles around to create the correct image (you’ll get it when you see it). I don’t want to spoil too much of the story so I will just say you are following the story of a boy life. It is sad and beautiful and full of life. I also hope to forget this game so one day I can play it again. I finished this game in about 2 hours (it was develop by one dude what more can you ask of him) and I gave it 9.5/10. 

DICEY DUNGEONS:

Is a rogue-like deck building dice game. There isn’t really a story to this one. But you progress through dungeons rolling dice and placing them in weapons and shields and other elements in order to beat the creature and progress to the next level. I got addicted to this game and didn’t put it down for like 2 weeks straight. I put about 35 hours into this game before I moved on from it and I gave it 10/10. 

SIGNALIS: 

A survival horror game set in a futuristic time. The story is a time loop centred around your character Elster trying to save the woman she loves and losing her mind in the process. The majority of the game play is searching for keys, cards and other elements to help progress you through the story with resource management. The art style is amazing with its pixilation. Took me 13 hours to beat. I gave it 8.5/10. 

DISCO ELYSIUM:

Is a roll playing game written by the novelist Robert Kurvitz. You take on the role of an amnesiac detective trying to solve the murder of a hanged man with his enigmatic partner. As you progress through solving the murder you start to uncover the detectives past and affect things for his future. The game uses a dice based skills element to bring some chance and some strategy as to which skills you increase. The game is fully voiced by an amazing cast (TW the detective is an alcoholic). I finished the game in 15 hours and I gave it 9.5/10. 

PERSONA 5:

Is a turn based role playing game about the internal and external struggles of a troubled group of high school students who live dual lives as phantom thieves. After school and between their part time jobs they fight demons in what they call the Metaverse. The story to this game is very good and the turn based mechanics are very well done. I think I sunk 70 hours into beating this game and give it 8/10 but looking back it should be 9/10. 

CITIZEN SLEEPER:

Is a role playing game with a deep and well crafted narrative experience. Let’s be honest this one is a bit of a visual novel, but it is a great one at that! The characters in this story really come to life with their struggles and victories. There are multiple ending so keep going after the credits. Dice are used in th game to preform actions based on their rolls. I honestly wish I could play this game again for the first time. It took me 12 hours to beat and I gave it 10/10

[lordfrezon]

An essay about Signalis

Contains spoilers.

I think about myself a lot.

That probably is unsurprising. I have, to put it lightly, a high opinion of myself. If the black guy from Serenity was gonna stab me and ask what my sin was, Pride would probably be the one for me. But more that just thinking “I’m the best” (which I do, every day), I spend a lot of time thinking about what I want in my life and how my self-image is compared to how I present myself.

This frequently escalates around this time of year because of several reasons. One, I’m done with school, so I just have more time in general. And two, it’s Pride Month. Before we go further, no, this isn’t me coming out as something (I have a ton of memes if I ever need to, believe me), but I do think a lot about my identity in relation to gender and sexuality probably more than the average guy. I see memes from trans friends that go something like “do you think about becoming the opposite gender the normal amount? ‘Yeah I guess.’ The normal amount is zero.” This always strikes me as disingenuous because contemplating your own identity seems essential to being happy as you are. If you’re not thinking in present day present time about what your concept of self revolves around, what’s the point?

In Signalis, you are not the person you think you are. The game starts with you being told “Remember our promise” which, uh, you don’t recall any promises, but you somehow recall the face of this woman and she seems important so better go do that promise. You get a picture of what looks like the two of you together (ignoring the face that in your memories she has white hair and in the picture black, and you’re a robot now) so ok, you’ve got her name, gotta go find her.

As the game goes on you learn that the woman in the picture, Alina Seo, is not the woman you are looking for. You are also not the woman in the picture. You’re also not the other woman in the picture. Or the one in your memories, which is to say, your memories are not yours.

Technically, the woman in your memories is you, in the sense that physically you’re identical LSTR units. But Elster, the woman in your memories who physically knew the woman with white hair, Ariane, isn’t you. You just look like her, because you’re both robots. This probably seems confusing if you haven’t played the game, which is both intentional on my part (hey you gotta read this essay I wrote about Signalis and how I tie this shit together) but also is just how the game is presented. There are no clear answers, especially to questions of identity and personhood. About a third of the way through the game, you’re thrown down an elevator shaft, only to fall onto a pile of bodies that are... you. Just dozens of identical LSTR units, all thinking they’re the Elster in your dreams. Some of them got further still, lying dead around your crashed spaceship, where Ariane is inside. But they’re not you.

Right?

In 2016 my sister came out as trans. This was not the first time I had thought about the question of my own gender identity, but it definitely forced me to face the question with a lot more that I previously had. For a semester or two in college, today me would have called then me an “egg”, someone who didn’t understand their relationship with gender/someone who was trans but didn’t realize it yet. Look at r/egg_irl and you’ll see at least 5 memes that I would go “yep, that was me back then.”

Today I’m still cis (enough) and very comfortable with my expression of gender and identity, but I said at multiple times during that period that I “was a lesbian in a man’s body” and didn’t really think much of it. I even, for a time, was mildly transphobic, until a good friend asked me how people being trans affected me, whereupon I was like “huh guess it doesn’t, live and let live I guess.” But the question remained: what would me as a woman be like? Would I be me still?

Growing up on the internet in the late 2000s-early 2010s the phrase “there are no girls on the internet” was a cringey refrain that I’m sure is familiar to a lot of you. As a cis straight white guy, the internet of the time was essentially tailor made for me. I never had to deal with issues of people being like “zomg a girl show boobs,” I was just there. I’d see people being gross and feel “well that’s not cool but doesn’t affect me,” and continue on my life. But what if it did affect me? What if I had been born a girl, gay, something other than what I was? What if I chose to become one of those things?

Signalis deals with issues of sexuality and gender in strange ways. Anyone that knows about the game likely knows it’s been embraced by the LGBTQ community for its portrayal of many of this issues and how it embraces its own identity. Elster and Ariane are lovers in a world that forbids even their friendship. Ariane especially faces persecution for who she is, being isolated early in her life, being bullied and tormented by her peers, and choosing a likely lethal option of “freedom” over living the rest of her life as just another cog in an oppressive machine. Rather than following her orders to ignore the LSTR unit assigned as her partner, Ariane embraces the “machine”, striking a friendship with her, which turns into a true romantic relationship. Again, I’m not gay, but I’ve heard how many of my friends have gone through the same issues being gay or trans themselves, so the popularity of the game among that community tracks.

But again, the protagonist of Signalis is not Elster, at least not physically. As the game reveals to you, Ariane and Elster were sent on a journey to find extrasolar planets, and after 10 years of looking, their ship started to fail. It’s heavily implied that their journey was doomed from the start, and that Ariane knew that, but chose this life anyway. While the two women work to keep their ship in operation, its radioactive reactor begins to leak, and Ariane gets sick. Their journey comes to an end, 20 years in and over 10 years after they were told to “spare you[rself] a slow and agonizing death”, Elster puts Ariane into a cryogenic chamber before dying herself, no longer able to function. You find the original Elster’s body. You aren’t her.

So why do you keep going?

One of my formative experiences in high school was learning one of my internet friends and fellow Bionicle comedy writers was a woman. I assumed that the group of us writing were all guys, Bionicle as a thing was heavily marketed to young men, so my base assumption was that everyone on this forum was a guy like me. Learning that was not the case made me question assumptions I had had. How did my relationship with this person change, now that I knew our experiences were different? How did my own prejudices and assumptions influence how I interacted with our common interest? What would I do in the same scenario?

It would take me many years to even come up with semi-adequate answers to these questions, as going to an all-boys Catholic school was not the most conducive environment to answering questions about gender. At the root of all these questions, however, was a fear. If I were a girl, would I still be me? My identity and pride in myself, would those still exist? Would I have lost everything that made me me if a coin had happened to flip on a different side? In her coming out message to me and my brother, my sister made sure to emphasize that she was still her, her interests were still the same and she was still the same person. My concerns about gender and sexuality were likely born from a similar place. Would changing one aspect of who I was change how everyone interacted with me? If so, would this change be good?

While in Signalis, you are not searching for Alina Seo, she is important to you. Your template for your Replika self was based on a “comrade” of Alina’s, and while your original name is never directly mentioned, you get a pretty good idea of who you were. Like with Ariane, your template and Alina were romantically involved. Like with Ariane, you were not supposed to be. Your and Ariane’s appearances being similar to those from decades past is not coincidental. You are physically based off of that woman’s identity, and Ariane and Alina, while both humans, are implied to be descendants of the Empress, a psychically powerful human capable of terraforming planets and bringing humanity together. Let’s not get into that.

As an LSTR unit, you are compelled due to a psychic link with Ariane to find her, to remember your promise. As someone with the memories of Elster, this isn’t just a compulsion, this is you making up for your failure previously. Your “promise”, as we come to learn, is to allow Ariane to die, and by that I mean to kill her. You’ve killed before, people that you might have cared about too, but this is different. This is killing your reason for being. Killing is your reason for being. What happens if you fail to do so? What happens if you succeed?

Elster is a machine, a Replika, a facsimile of humanity constructed in the model and thought processes of a human to act in predictable ways. Ariane broke her out of this programming and gave her a new identity. As an LSTR unit, you are given that same identity. Is it yours? Do you accept it? There are multiple endings to Signalis, some of which result in you saying no, you don’t. This is presented as a valid conclusion to your story. There is no good ending or bad ending. There’s just life and your choices.

I come back to the question of choice a lot, as anyone raised Catholic likely does. The idea of free will and if it really exists is something that has driven people mad. The questions of what brain chemistry and biology really mean for choices are questions for people that care about those things. My identity is of a 30-year-old cis straight man. I could change that, but it wouldn’t be me. That’s fine. I accept that as I age I’m going to change. Me at 20 would not immediately get what me now wants and why I do what I do. I’m unlikely to understand why me at 40 is making the decisions I do. There is no good ending or bad ending. There’s just life and my choices.

At the end of my playthrough of Signalis I got the Promise ending, where I do indeed kill Ariane, then die next to her. I knew prior to beating the game the vague concepts of the endings and how, generally, to get them. I optimized my playthrough to get that ending because I saw it as the most fulfilling ending, even without knowing the context behind it. Having played the game, I agree with my choice and with that of Elster. But ever so often, I look at Signalis and wonder if I want to try again, for one of the other endings, or for the 4th, secret ending, where you sacrifice yourself so Elster and Ariane can dance once more together. Are those better choices? What would Elster do? Where do her choices lead her, if she knew everything that could happen?

Where would mine?

[seeminglydeathlessredshirt]

Ramblings on Transistor

Didn't expect to be back so soon, but here we are.

So, after the last travesty, I needed something to help wash away the stink. Happened upon a short game I had sitting in my library that I'd heard good things about, so I took a look at it.

Safe to say, Transistor has absolutely blown me away. It's one of the best things I've played this year, and we're talking about a year where I've played both Prey 2017 and Signalis for the first time.

This is going to be a bit shorter than the last because there's only so many ways I can say "this game is incredible," but here goes. As usual, you start with a fairly basic toolset. I thought "oh, these are going to be the starter abilities that I'm going to discard after getting something interesting," and then Transistor revealed its hand. The fact that not only do you get around a dozen abilities over the course of the game, but they can also give every other program(this game's name for your abilities) new functionalities, and that you can also put them in a special slot to provide a passive boost means you have one of the most versatile loadouts I've seen in a video game. There are so many combinations to try out, and a considerable chunk of those are going to be viable. Don't be afraid of sticking to one combination, branch out a bit! Hell, the game pushes you in this direction by ensuring you have to put a program in all three types of slot(active ability, upgrade, and passive) in order to unlock all the lore, as well as by temporarily disabling one randomly chosen active program every time your health gets depleted(effectively giving you four lives, at the cost of needing to take a different loadout for the next fight.) For those of you who like playing risky and taking gambles, you'll be right at home here.

The game is no slouch in the other departments too. Not much of a comment on the music this time around. Come on, it's Supergiant, no shit the music is great. I found the aesthetic of the game really pleasing, it's sort of this mix of cyberpunk and art deco designs and it all meshes together beautifully. Environments feel vibrant and satisfying to look at, it's almost as if they were designed in-universe to be perfect, which brings me to the story. It's probably the weakest part of this game, but that doesn't mean it was phoned in. There's a persistent theme of change on several levels. The city itself is constantly being transformed based on the whims of people, several people in the events of the game transform from physical to digital form, and a good portion of the plot involved trying to stop the transformation of the city into something else.

Despite the significance of what's going on, everyone involved seems to take an almost disinterested tone on what's going on. It creates this almost surreal dissonance that I can't say for certain whether or not I actually like. Regardless, it doesn't overstay its welcome and gets the job done. Fair warning though, the story does involve the use of suicide in a major plot beat, so if that's a topic you struggle with, please tread carefully.

Overall, this is an incredible game that I'd wholeheartedly recommend. There's nothing I'd say is genuinely bad about this game.

It'll be a while until the next one.

[meowsequence]

My Signalis experience [part 2]

No Spoilers this time.

I consider myself to be a lucky one because I live with my beloved @tinyflything (check it out btw, you may find few cute kolibris there) with whom we can talk for hours and on any topic. We are different. I always been more interested in global aspects like history of humankind, society and role of an individual in it (you know, the things that are actually very important and defying our lives more then anything else, but are too complicated and contradictory for a single character's arc and therefore nearly extinct from modern media). Ro, on the other hand loves horrors and arthouse and keep giving me valuable insights about deepest corners of a single persons feelings, mind and soul.

You can guess where I'm going with it… Signalis became the first thing we are equally obsessed about in our 10+ years.

After I shared my first experience of Signalis I just had to show it. You know, my beloved is kinda REALLY BAD in video games >_> The usual gameplay routine would be: bolting in random direction, screaming in panic, die, laughing hysterically, respawn, repeat… So we placed another chair by my screen and finally I was ready to return to Signalis.

It was one dusk till dawn 9-hours long session and this time I had a luxury of seeing the Game from additional perspective. First of all, I was listed with EVERY SINGLE reference to Silent Hill, David Lynch and many others, lol. But besides that - many new and interesting for me interpretations. And above all: stop analysing and focus on feelings. Think later as much as you want, but don't miss the only truth of Signalis: everything you felt playing it first time was right.

One thing I'm glad Ro pointed out and I want to point out here is how right Rose-Engine depicted authoritarian society. It's not just oppression, propaganda and nazi-like uniforms… There are enough hints to let us know that even oppressors themselves are not benefiting from such social formation. Wardens are under constant control by other wardens, Stars, sisters in arms, oppressing and physically harassing each other on daily basis and all of them scared of being decommissioned and eliminated the very moment they can't fulfil their functions to full capacity. Some of them however made inner peace with that, like Beo… but somehow that's even worse. We know nearly nothing about the Leaders of the Revolution but rest assured, even they have no freedom and live in constant fear of being brutally smashed and replaced by same machine they currently driving. Society is also a Gestalt - something bigger and very different then just a summary of it's individuals. So thanks again Rose-Engine, for doing this part right. I wish more games and movies focus on this aspect, instead of Star-Wars-like "good people just have to kill all bad people and then everything will be good again", which, I have a strong feeling, is exactly how Eusan Nation started.

[corpsegirldick]

The Graveyard... After hours.

So you chose to stay until the sun set. Before we can discuss what you will be getting into, there are some disclaimers that must be regarded.

-This page is a space strictly for adults. No minors are welcome here, and should not interact.

-This page is a home for the freaks, the perverse, and the monster within us all.

-TERFs, Zionists, kinkshamers, and other hateful ideologies are not welcome in this place.

-The things that will be found here are not for the faint of heart. Tread carefully.

With this out of the way, we may begin.

This is my NSFW sideblog to SabreWife, my main page. I felt that making one of these would help me vent my urges, but in full admittance, money is tight. I will be posting pictures of our body, fantasies and microfiction here as a form of expression, so that I can both come to love myself more, and maybe make friends with other kinky dykes so I don't feel as alone here.

In addition to what I will be posting here, I will also be accepting money for customised and more explicit scenes, pictures, and custom stories. Above all other forms of expression, I love writing, especially for and about other trans and queer people. Loving other queer people is my specialty, especially freaks like me. If you can't afford to pay for custom works, I'll gladly do it for free.

Now, let's get into the meat of this, what I'm sure you're here for.

I'm a switch, and always eager for a back and forth. I love other trans people dearly, and any chance to sink my teeth into another dyke or plaything, I often take. I can be as rough or as soft as one desires, plaything or mistress, and as weak or as strong as needed.

Naturally, I'm a monsterfucker, a slut for all things inhuman with little or no humanity remaining. The grace of the machine, the divine touch of an Angel or a Witch, or even the claws of a werewolf, the fangs of a vampire, I seek it out readily.

My preference is typically other things on the dyke side of the scale, but all other trans people are free game for my claws. Won't you let me sink them in?

My kinks extend in depth, and are quite heavy at times, but I am also very accomodating to others preferences.

My limits reside at scat, detransition play, and chaser-esque interests.

Anywho, I believe that covers everything basic. If you want to get to know me a little better, and want to toss some cash my way, continue past the read more. Otherwise, welcome in, and enjoy yourself. Oh, and please tell me if you had a good time. I love knowing if I've made others feel good.

Before continuing further, my Cashapp is $SabreWife. If you want to discuss what you would like, or just chat, feel free to DM me! You shouldn't be shy, I only bite if you want me to.

Anywho, we are the Graveyard System, as a whole. I am the host, Escila. I will be the one running this page a majority of the time, but do not be surprised if my protector, Lilith, or someone else makes a post on occasion. They will tag their posts with their initials. For example, Lilith's posts will be tagged as L.C.

As for my interests, I really enjoy writing and gaming. I love bartending, firearms, and going out into the woods late at night, whether it be for camping or just a nice evening walk. I'm always looking for people to infodump to about my niche little hyperfixations, like Signalis or Ultrakill. As for my writing, I have a lot of original universes and characters, but I also have a bunch of fanfiction for Bloodborne, Cyberpunk, and Signalis. Oh, and you should definitely ask me about Ace Combat and Project Wingman. I love planes and funny plane games.

Apart for that, I am on the East Coast of the US(unfortunately), though I am not from here. I'm Canadian, and I've been living in the US for a majority of my life. Maybe someday, when the world isn't ravaged by oppressive governments and colonialism, I would like to travel and experience everything the world has to offer.

I love music of all varieties, typically listening to anything from synthwave to thrash metal. I especially love punk music from queer authors, and if I could, I would be going to rock venues and dives every night.

I aspire to have a lot of piercings, tattoos, and body modifications, but I don't have the money for any of it currently.

Hm, let's see... I think that's about everything. If you're curious about anything, or even just want to chat sometime, please DM me! I need more friends, especially people like me.