#go out to eat at a nice place
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What thing do you subtly hint at so Asahi gets it for your anniversary?
Honestly, I don't think I would need to hint for Asahi to get something. He's already so thoughtful and observant that he'd always know what to get.
Totally not saying this because I never know what I want for any special occasions. Yep. Yep yep yep yep yep.
#i think I'd be happy spending quality time with him#go out to eat at a nice place#a day with just the two of us doing cute stuff#i spent a good 15 minutes thinking what I'd want him to get but it was just 15 minutes of my brain being uhhhhhhhhhhhhh#I'm not big on gift receiving but i love thoughtful and creative gifts#dont care about monetary value but def care about sentimental value#which i feel like asahi would EXCEL at#king of giving cheesy and romantic and thoughtful gifts and I'm queen of receiving them#still cant think of anything in particular though lol
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Making a birthday cake for a friend tonight (something I haven't done for a while), and I forgot how much I love baking & cake decorating. I'll post pics when I'm done, I'm very excited. 🥰
#archivist talk#the archivist regrets starting nursing school#the archivist#the archivist is a tad stressed but also this fun thing is happening so that's just dandy#i think i might have to give up on the kitchen being a place where one can sit and eat#i never use it for that personally#not because i don't want to#it just lacks the space for it and i don't have a real dining room#(my kitchen is long and narrow)#if i can figure out a good reasonable way to re-arrange the living room such that i can have both a living room AND a small dining corner#i may do that#however given the amount of bookshelves i've got going on & all my other lusts i imagine this won't happen#le sigh#i love my apartment so much#i think if i had a small dining area/dining room that would make the kitchen perfect#and if i had a den that i could put my desk/file cabinet/all adulting work in#that would free up my bedroom to be even more coquettish & focused#and also entirely comfortable#that would change a lot actually goddamn#but alas this building is not going to change#so maybe if one day i could afford a 2 bedroom that had a den .... bonus points if it has wood floors#and those arched doorways that i so love#i would be in heaven#i have to finish nursing school so i can pay for things with less stres#and also help my siblings more#and then maybe so i can get a nice home that would be super cool#but for now i must simply chill as they say
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The maybe-sorta-not-really-almost blowjob scene, because I don't think I've drawn them together before and this is probably the best place to start.
(Tumblr ate my quality :( pls click to rescue it)
#ik the pose is not canonically accurate but my composition demanded as much.#alternatively it could be done with the same pose as Germanic Warrior with Helmet but thia took long enough no full body paintings for me.#and it took. so long. I've been at this since may.#probably over 25 hours total.#please please please zoom in. look at the details. make an artist happy.#anyways! does anyone else associate Ouyang with red? specifically rust red.#Esen and Baoxiang are blue and dark blue respectively.#while Zhu is yellow/orange.#so Ouyang being red works in my head bc it places him opposite to Esen's blue.#with red and navy blue being commonly put together despite being very different and even clashing (Ouyang and Baoxiang)#red is right next to orange on the color wheel#and red/yellow/orange mix into each other to become the same colors with Ouyang and Zhu#hence the colors of this piece#plus dark rust red/crimson being both assocoeged with antagonists and blood. both of these fit Ouyang I think.#Ma is also red in my head to go with zhu as well#but she's specifically bright ruby red that goes more towards purple than orange.#so it doesn't overlap with Zhu’s color region#just hangs out next to it.#this also puts Ouyang and Ma as sort of paralel to each other which I think is fun#anyways. i am hungry! i will go eat! it is 4am holy crap–#the radiant emperor#he who drowned the world#zhu yuanzhang#general ouyang#also i lied earlier only evil baoxiang is navy blue. normal non evil wbx is a nice cool green.#same color family as Esen still but lighter/more femenine/less generic#(Esen is specifically Boy-Coded Blue)#WBX being green also has him as complementary color to Ma and Ouyang.#okokok now im done fr.#my art
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I may have spent all my life until this moment wasting both mine and God's time, but from tomorrow on, for sure, i swear it, i will change my ways and be better. And it'll be different from all the other times i said the same thing🧎♀️
#i'm getting up at 6 i'll be at college by 8 i'll catch a nice place away from the sun in the library and i'll do so much work#until my classes start and then after the classes end i'm going back to the library i'm gonna set up camp there bc this is obviously not th#way for me. but you know what bothers me now? the fact that the college cafeteria isn't open on the weekends.#you know how productive of a weekend i could have if i could camp in the library 8-12 then eat a quick lunch and go back 13-whenever?#anyway. i changed my surroundings got mood lighting and warm blankets and shukufuku no library on loop#idk what to write for the introduction so i'm gonna write my arguments first and then expand on them#if i can't get myself to do things the right way then i'll do it however is easiest for me and figure out how to make it seem like i did it#the right way. but from tomorrow on i SWEAR#and if i finish my essay sooner than expected (inşallah) ???#i'm writing. the bigbang until i reach the minimum and not a word more until i'm done with finals#and THEN i'm writing what i want to write. because i'm full of ideas to the point that i feel like bleeding over sheets of paper
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it becomes more and more obvious to me as I get older that I really can't tell when people genuinely like me
just had a coworker text me to tell me that another one is distraught that I no longer work wednesdays and that she's been complaining to other people that it sucks that I'm not there ... like people think about me positively and want me around??? impossible
#[static]#i know that people are friendly and i do know that i have friends but even then it takes months or sometimes YEARS before I truly know#like even the ppl im playing dnd with biweekly (and maybe soon to be weekly) ... im still kind of vaguely shocked when they say nice things#or like when one of them wanted to hang out for lunch and offered to drive but then didnt actually end up getting lunch ...#they just wanted to hang out and spend time with me to chat. when i thought that they were just going to the same place to eat#ive dont really verbalize it ever that i function like this but i think it's why i tend to hold people at an arms length#or that i struggle when they say positive things about me to my face#i literally have written documentation that indicate people actively look to me for help and leadership because they trust me and like me-#-but i still often believe that it's one sided (from my side) or that people are just being polite but i have evidence to prove otherwise#idk i dont think i'll ever be able to figure it out but im always trying!
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Sowing seeds of discontent and disharmony by hanging up on my parents birthday phone call the second my mom asked if I gained weight. Hope that sits badly on their minds while they think about how that's the first call I've engaged with them in 2 months and it was for the dogs birthday. Dad scrambling to text me for my mom that she didn't mean it. Like fuck I told her I've been having a rough month and day. She couldn't keep it to herself that badly. Fucks sake
#was already not in a great place mentally but i entertained the call and was actually feeling okay talking to them giving them an update#she just hits me with that. and I'm not normally sensitive about my weight even when my mom harped on me for gaining some a few years back#i genuinely normally don't care bc I'm happy with myself. but i know ive lost weight because I've been on icu and we don't have time to eat#im so fucking mad and im even more mad I'm crying about it#bc what the fuck#i was actually feeling like momentarily safe talking to them and being vulnerable about working on my next life stages#and she just ruined the call. i wanted to talk to my mom and dad more. i do miss talking to them about some things.#i was happy to get to see my family all together even if it was for the dogs birthday. and people were smiling and shit#and ik theyre gonna say i ruined it by being sensitive but jfc#it was literally the 2nd thing my mom said to me on the call after we sang happy birthday#why couldn't she just shut up. why couldn't she have said anything else. why did i let it bother me so much i hung up#I'm just fucking tired and sad and now feeling even lonlier than ever#i just wanted a nice moment with my family god fucking damn is that too hard to ask for#and im even more angry and sad now that i cant call them back bc my mom will get on me about smth else we were previously talking about#that phone call was supposed to be a neutral zone just for the birthday song. and i was going to ride it out but fucking hell#why didnt i just put up with it so i could have talked to my family#and no calling them back isnt an option. they haven't apologized and it would be an un neutral call#which gives them space to harass me about work and shit
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thinking about how all the rest of blackbeards crew had left by the time stede found the revenge
thinking about how ed was laid out in such a respectful way, like he was someone wanted to mourn
thinking about even after all he said, after mutinying on him, izzy could never really leave ed
thinking about how after all he did for them, all he lost, our crew couldn't leave him either
#thinking about how they would have had the opportunity to leave when everyone else did#and that izzy might have even encouraged them to#but that realising he was going to stay- essentially condemning himself to death- they couldnt leave him#would have fought him on it if he had put up a fuss (i imagine he would)#'we aren't leaving you boss' 'yeah no fucking way viejito'#because theyve claimed him now. hes their family. they arent going to leave him to certain death for any reason#and certainly not as a self imposed punishment for 'killing' ed#they arent going to leave him to rot on that ship with the corpse of the man who put them there in the first place#so they stay. they stay and they lay ed out properly under izzys watch. they stay and they plan a respectful funeral#rather than just throwing him into the sea like perhaps they would like to; because thats what izzy needs#he needs a proper send off for ed in the end and they understand that#they stay and the food runs out. they stay and they eat seagulls#they stay#they stay for izzy- because izzy cant leave; so neither can they#and maybe theyll die here#but theyve been living second to second for a while now#its actually kind of nice to have a deadline#its not so bad really; drifting through the ocean aimlessly. its a nice break after everything#its the quiet up to the end#nyxtalks#ofmd#ofmd s2 spoilers#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#archie ofmd#frenchie ofmd#fang ofmd#jim jimenez#edward teach
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whenever i need a laugh or a smile i go back and watch the early bells hells episodes. like pre-bassuras was such an insane vibe for an adventuring party and the shit they got into? unparalleled. truly just a collection of guys doing shit and sometimes experiencing consequences. and then bassuras came down on them like the fucking sword of damocles. i hope that one day, when this is all over, bells hells will still travel, doing dumb shit and fucking around like they once did for lord ariks eshteross. i hope they find that peace once their questions are answered, but i don’t know if a quiet life is for them. i think they’d just continue on, continue to scheme, do incredibly chaotic shit for forever. just let them throw parties, root out government corruption and little shade creepers every once in a while, and pretend to be ghosts, that’s the proper bells hells post-campaign enrichment plan
#cr#cr3#the idea of a level 20 party just doing dumb shit forever rather than accepting places of power in the world is so funny to me#and SO hells. the level 20 cleric is just a fuckin robot who meets up with his gun robot partner and they eat muffins together#and also the level 20 cleric’s best friend level 20 barbarian continues to get into bar fights for some fucking reason#and then their level 20 fighter friend has to go bail him out but also ends up getting drunk but in a fun way#meanwhile this werewolf blood hunter and incredibly terrifying fire druid lady have been cleaning out a local casino#and there have been rumors of a terrifying flower girl haunting the poker floor#a level 20 sorcerer and a level 20 bard have a nice little game of chess together#and all is right in the universe#so in conclusion fuck you ludinus da’leth you’re in the WAY of my HORRIBLE GREMLIN FUTURE
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I’m becoming who I’m meant to be, slowly.
I’m inhabiting my body as a home as I make it such that it is a home for me.
💖😌✨
Also it’s a lovely studio! Masks required, hepa filters running, quiet area, but still near a bus route, was quiet once some of the people left (my artist was also super surprised that all of the tables were in use when they arrived at the shop too!!) and even though we didn’t chat (they put in their faq basically that they often forget to chat so bring headphones or whatever to do while they work) it wasn’t awkward or anything. It felt like such a safe space and I adore it so much :) (and it’s more local to get to than the other one that I’m definitely also going to go back to too at some point hopefully this year) (yay local queer owned covid cautious studios!!!!!)
#shatters’ tattoos#shatters’ fragments#ok time to eat something else#bc it’s been a while since my last meal even if I took breaks while tattoo#had a juice box for the first break before we drew the plant in there#and then before we did my leg while they were printing out the design I had a granola bar and water#and then afterwards I had a chocolate bar and another juice box and water#and then for the buses home I just had some water between buses but considered if I wanted a fourth juice box today but I didn’t really#but now I’m a bit hungry#today was fucking WEIRD at first#like popping in real quick to work?!?#class!! which I’m actually SUPER EXCITED for and about its great so far#and then walked around with a classmate who’s probably now my friend and popped into a bookstore#but it was super hot by then too#so I went off to get close to the studio#and had sushi in the shade of the parking lot before walking over#and trying to like. drink water and stay hydrated before going in#was definitely intimidated by how many people were in the shop at first#they said that it was highly unusual for all chairs/tables to be in use at once#(and they own the place!!)#but it’s such a lovely and welcoming space tbh#I’ve been to the studio once before for a market#but this is the first time I’ve been while it’s set up as a tattoo studio (it’s usual use)#and it’s just so good 💖#truly made my day really nice at the end#finally got to cool down quite a bit once I was sitting still and then laying down for the tattoos#(…actually I’m a little annoyed I paid $9 for coffee this morning actually but alas anyway)#and it was just. SO NICE#similar vibes but like cozier than the other shop I go to#it has less tables and its more private and accessibility is a huge thing there
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🐇☀️☁️🍦
#im glad i went today to hang out with my friend c:#it was nice to just hang out with another person and talk and stuff#i also just like how considerate she is#and she's accepting and chill. i can like tell her that oh im sorry if im low energy now im just overheated bc of the weather and im feeling#sad. and she'll be like dont worry thats ok! and it also is ok she doesnt get annoyed or anything#plus she doesnt look at me weird when there's awkward pauses and i cant express myself properly lol#i overanalyze too much i know :c but anyway it is always nice talking w her so it was nice today#we walked to a sushi place and then to the library#i only stayed for like 30min at the library even if i wanted to stay longer#i realized that it's bc like she had sushi which gives her energy#but i cant afford to buy things out lol so i never eat and refresh my energy#so after 3hrs i got so low energy and just wanted to go home#i should try to find smth easy and cheap i can bring to snack on so i can stay longer!! T-T ugh.. next time!!#we also met a dog! :o she was just standing alone outside a house and stared at the gate#and we came by she walked up to us and looked at me and was like 'get me inside :)'#so my friend went around the house and the owner came and was like omgggg she ran away again!!!#im glad it was so easy to help the dog bc i could not have left her alone by a street w cars and stuff#but she was so sweet and cute and let me pet her 💗#hmm yeah! then i walked home in the heat that killed me... and now im sitting in front of the fan ^-^#im not cut out for summer!!! anywaysss it was just a nice time#i wish i could've stayed longer. i'll make sure to bring a cheap snack next time so i can hang out more
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pretty sure i just got a spider bite while trying to fall asleep 🧍
#i thought it was just a stray hair on my elbow under the blanket and kept trying to shake it off#and then i finally went to brush it off w my hand and felt a bump there#and then it was unbearably itchy so i turned the lamp on to apply some anti-itch stuff bc it was driving me nuts#and i was trying to see where it was on my elbow bc wtf when did i get bit#and then i looked at it and it was very pale like a fresh bite and then there was some skin torn like a spider bite#i cant tell if theres two little holes or not and honestly idk if spiders always leave two fang marks fjdkdl#but it doesnt look like a mosquito bite unless i tore the skin myself from scratching at it#but the way it is looking... very similar to past spider bites#anyways i just removed everything from my bed and methodically searched Everything. looked all around the bed too. cannot find a spider#so. shrug. <- actually very afraid#but the thing that makes me Really think it's a spider is that the bump was super pale and now after a little while it is regular skintone#so that makes me think it was a brand new fresh bite the way it was a different colour and now its normal looking#which is uhhh scary! to have had a spider possibly in my bed!#and I can't find it so i simply do not Know and that is going to make it so hard to sleep tonight fjfkdl#man i barely ate today too so im just... really not doing well at this very moment fjfkdl#i cant eat anything rn though bc i already brushed my teeth and i dont want to do that again tonight fjfkdl#but i am. so hungry. augh. idk what I'd even eat anyways im too anxious to stomach anything#WHERE IS THIS SPIDER. WHY DID IT CHOOSE MY BED TO BE IN 😭#im in bed so often ... it should avoid places where ppl are ....#i feel like such shit rn fjdkdl i just rly wish i didnt have to deal w all these bugs#in the past month I've had a couple spiders and Several(!) weevils and a centipede and a clicker beetle and a couple earwigs#im just so tired of bugs i rly am fjfkdl idk why they choose to come inside and idk HOW they're getting inside#i hate living in a basement!!#i just want to sleep so i dont have to deal w being awake for a while fjdkls but now im all freaked out#i want to curl into a little ball and blink out of existence I'll be so honest rn. im just. idk.#✨ I don't think I have a place in society ✨ i am not a good enough person to exist in the world ✨#i dont want to go to sleep bc what if the spider comes back fjfkdl i wish i would've found it so i could've trapped it#and then let it outside tomorrow! i wouldnt have even killed it. the universe should've given me that one bc im so niceys#unfortunately the universe doesnt play nice w me fjfksl#spider tw
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#i knew the vibes were going to plummet as soon as we left the restaurant#ny dad actually isnt in a bad mood about it#he didn't like the loud music but hes not mad about it#but my mom is like 'i picked a bad place i shouldn't have picked that one i didnt even know they had music#and they just HAD to sit us at the loudest table 🙄'#well yeah. it was the only one open when we got there#and she kinda complained about her food and the waitress 😵💫#she said she was stressed the whole time bc she knew my dad was stressed#well. the difference between them is my dad was stressed about the loud music#but once we left the place with the loud music. he wasn't stressed anymore#my mom was stressed. so she will find every single thing she can to contribute to her stress. and it will remain. for hours#in fact. probably years from now. we will be like remember that nice trip in September 2024 :) and she will be like#'oh yeah the one with the awful restaurant that i picked out that everyone was miserable about'#(she was the most miserable bc she stressed herself out)#and its just.......... :/ im sorry my dad was uncomfortable with the noise. and that my mom didn't have a good time#but. i cannot remember the last time a restaurant caused LESS anxiety actually.#and on a different vacation earlier this year we went to a restaurant that Everyone else wanted to go to#and it was quite literally one of the most miserable experiences of my life#it was SO loud. the dining room was so small and cramped and it was so crowded and everyone was YELLING#i kept headphones in the whole time and sat with my head down and could barely even eat anything#it was like. an hour+ long panic attack. i wanted to cry the whole time#but when that happened. my moms dinner wasnt ruined bc she felt bad i was stressed#so . 😐 im just saying
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youtube
it’s that time of week again…
#and M A N today’s getsuyoubi was extra yuuutsu#first i dropped 2 cup things filled with water. cool. a mess was made. nice.#t h e n my workstation shook by itself and one of the cup things toppled down again. only it was filled with (diluted) acid this time!!!!#i wish it fell onto me bc at l e a s t my bad day would’ve ended with just an acid burn instead of getting worse#bc *then* we found out that we were near-out of [insert reagent here] that we need to run blanks for [test thing] yay!!!!! joy!!!!!!!!!#so we had to use a substitute solvent (sadge)#if only it ended there aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#i left work on time -> waited forever for the delayed bus -> decided to get some coffee or sth as a pick me up t h e n…#the coffee place happened to run out of single bags so i decided to put it into my bag instead (mistake)…#…a n d dropped my phone while trying to prop the stupid drink upright so it wouldn’t spill.#unfortunately for me though... some rando picked up my phone some time within the 30s-1 min wherein i realised that my phone was gone…#…and took it home with him instead of handing it to the customer service counter at the nearby train stations. ha.#called my phone a couple of times with the phone from a customer service counter but he~~ didn’t~~ pick up~~~~~~~~~#and so. long story short. i had to leave the house an extra time to go to this guy’s place to pick up my bb (read: my phone)#bc the dude~~~ can’t~~~~ speak~~~ english~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ so he didn’t understand me when i told him my location~~~~~~~#and now it’s almost 8.30 in the pm. im waiting for the delayed bus to go home from wherever tf i am now. and i haven’t eaten all day :))))#(aside from a small cake thing but it’s negligible tbh)#aND HOLY FK I HATE THIS I FLAGGED DOWN THE BUS BUT IT SKIPPED THE STOP HELP ME I JUST WANNA GO HOME#.am i allowed to cry yet. i. just. i just wanna eat my dinner.#…come to think of it my drink ended up spilling in my bag while i was hunting for my phone. so. there’s that to clean up ig.#ughhhhhhhhh i wish that guy had just left my phone where he found it. s o b s#so yeah. if you read this i hope you had a good monday at least…#this truly is my ✨t r a g i c c o m e d y✨
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burgertron HATE ged prep . burgertron PILEDRIVE WHOEVER MADE IT SO THAT YOU HAVE TO TAKE 4 SEPARATE TESTS TO GET A PIECE OF PAPER THAT SAYS YOU DID IT into THE FUCKING DIRT!!!!!!!
#the captain's rambles#if you couldnt tell im having a bit of a rough time <:']#my mom is like “oh well youre Making it stressful it's gonna be okay” I HAVE TO FUCKING DO SHIT WITH VARIABLES#THIS SHIT WOULD BE STRESSFUL EVEN IF I *WASNT* ALREADY DREADING DOING IT#i HATE education i HATE SCHOOL i hate everything this STUPID SYSTEM STANDS FOR and most importantly I LOATHE VARIABLS#whoever put LETTERS ?? in MATH??? Die.#because now i have to fucking figure out what x and y are on a practice test#i dont even HATE math normally. in every other instance of math im actually okay w/ solving questions#ged math ??? is on some shit#FUCK geds man i hate it here . i wanna just fuck off and go do whatever and be productive with something i Actually Enjoy Doing#not having to sit here and do tests so i can get a piece of paper that does nothing but allow me to apply for a community college#<- a place i am EQUALLY unexcited for and dreading#miserable fucking books i have to do work in. and then i gotta do like 4 different equally fucking miserable tests for each subject#and then i have to pray to god i didnt fail and i got the minimum passing grade of AT LEAST 145 out of *200.*#im going to destroy Everything.#i dont want congratulations for doing this shit either because i didnt wanna do it IN THE FIRST PLACE !!!!!!#im only doing this because i HAVE TO to get my parents off my ass about it not because i WANNA#if it were up to me i'd be doing just art and collecting or other hobbies i ACTUALLY ENJOY and i wouldnt be worrying about academics#but we cant have nice things so now i have to stress abt this shit like a college student studying for midterms#rant over. im gonna go eat now . pray 4 me that i dont kill someone /lh
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米＾－＾米
#weeeeee i’m v 🥰#a few weeks ago work was just burning me tf out#so me and my best friend booked a 3 day trip to one of our fave cities in europe#an we got here at 9am today#n went to our fave cafe for coffee n pancakes#and ordered their banging apple pie#like an entire one just to treat ourselves bc it’s so good haahha#an then we checked in at the hotel n had a nap#n we’ve been here all evening just chilling out#an we chromecasted dan n phil to the tv#and ate sooooo much good food#and tomo we’re going to disney ☺️#feeling v v v lucky and v relaxed#like i have such bad travel anxiety and i’ve been sooo chill today it’s amazing 😭#and i’ve been able to eat so well which is also difficult on travel days an in unfamiliar places#it’s been very good for my brain 💛#very lucky n very privileged and a nice lil break from my current job#and a celebration for the new one!!#bp
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My brother fucked shit up with me bad. Just hearing his voice is revolting now. Having him around me puts me in a bad mood. His fault, really.
#took him out to buy him icecream because he had a bad day#he complained the entire time. told me he hated me and that he didnt want me around him anymore#fine. have it your way#learn that the things he says has consequences. i am not doing anything nice for him until he fucking apologizes for his behavior 👍#he screamed at me for 2 hours straight while we were out. going to a place he Wanted to go. eating what he Wanted to eat#go fuck yourself then
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