#go get the better dopamine
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Got motivated for one night so far so here's my tip
Stop doomscrolling and go learn things. Please.
Maybe even write them down. Take notes from video essays so you won't get bored. Your brain needs more than the easy dopamine from constant content. It helps with escapism, yes, but is it really helping?
Here's an easy start: go look up things you're interested in. Maybe some silly questions. Like...
"Why do we use the QWERTY-keyboard?"
"How did we decide what numbers or letters should look like?"
"Is there anything interesting in the history of my hometown, country, language, or family?"
Or, on the franchise side of things...
"What can I learn about my favourite game or movie's soundtrack?"
"Is there a greater theme or message in this game/movie/franchise?"
"Do the people working on it enjoy it? Are they passionate? Can you learn from them?"
(There are great video essays on GRIS, Minecraft, Sonic and Hollow Knight at least that have some amazing answers and have brought me to tears lol)
Learning shouldn't be graded and made stressful like in school. It's so fun. Only a few hours in and I'm feeling so invigorated I don't wanna go to bed.
I've been writing down fun facts I could later share with people or have some interesting conversation topics to bring up.
So.
Stop doomscrolling. Wake up your brain.
It'll thank you.
#SDB rambles#doomscrolling#doom scrolling#internet#social media#media consumption#learning silly facts feels so good y'all#i know ppl won't be interested in a lot of them#but learning is the fun part#it's good for the brain#better than the millionth similar video that steals your time and really gives you nothing in return#go get the better dopamine#it doesn't have to be a huge overhaul of your lifestyle immediately#but it's a start#a start many of us desperately need#ok i gotta sleep rant over bye
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Dang, being nonhuman really is just like being trans, where I look back at my life and go, "Ohhhhhhhh, so THAT'S where it came from." It's easy for me to fall into the habit of thinking, "Well I just found this new label but I don't want it to infiltrate my whole life." But... it already has. All those moments pretending to be a cat on the playground, making fake "dog packs" with my friends, wrestling with my dog and laying next to her as if I was just another pup, attaching to my dog and cat stuffed animals, making dog-like noises to supplement my words, pretending I had (and still have) a tail to wag when I wanted, shaking out my "fur" and huffing just because I "liked mimicking my dog"—those were all my nonhumanity shining through. Me identifying with the nonhuman/therian label isn't an outliner, it's just the trend.
#I guess today's just a Therian day#I'm having lots of thoughts about it and it's literally the only thing I can think about so here ya go I guess#“I want to make a long post today” too bad all you can think about is dogs and therianthropy#which is for a reason but I'll make another post about that later today (I have the draft up just editing)#anyways sappy thoughts about therianthropy time#I'm so glad I found this label it's so nice#honestly I feel like if I'd found it sooner I still would've identified with it#just because the accuracy just hits different#and it's so cool seeing other folks feeling the same way#(or feeling slightly different feelings but identifying with the label which is even more fascinating)#so happy I got Tumblr cause all the cool posts my friends were linking were on there#has ultimately enriched my life for the better <3#alterhuman#nonhuman#otherkin#therian#dogkin#dog therian#huskykin#husky therian#(everytime I use these tags I get a rush of dopamine !!!)
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it is so hard to break the habit of consumption but once you start trying, once you really start to ask yourself "do i really need this brand new piece of garbage?" whenever you're at the target dollar spot, or wherever else, it becomes easier and easier to say, "actually, no. this will not bring my life new meaning. it will maybe provide a tiny dopamine rush, and then it will have served its purpose." and you'll start to realize that not only did you not need this $3 piece of plastic whatever, you didn't actually really want it. you'll go home without it and you won't regret it and the next day you won't even remember it
#ive been working on this but i genuinely think ive gotten a lot better just in the last few months alone#something that is so annoying because u hear about it and you're like ugh whatever but then it turns out to be true...#is that getting rid of stuff is a thrill#truly that's where the real dopamine is#cleaning out your closet or picking thru your junk drawers and asking 'why do i still have this plastic whistle from a 2016 street fair'#i feel like i've been holding a lot of space in my mind for plastic junk i dont know what to do with#the answer is get rid of it bitch u dont WANT it#i still have a long way to go#i love clutter and trinkets#but im trying to keep only things that mean something to me#acquire only things that i really truly want#it also helps that im trying to save up for a big trip so almost all my little treat money is going toward that instead#it's amazing what having a goal can help you accomplish??? i cant believe no one told me this before???? lmaooo
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ok i just spent my entire day watching All of the solarballs episodes so here are my immediate thoughts
astronomically accurate planetspirit whump my FUCKING HEART i don’t even know what to say. i spend the least amount of time on average on planetspirit stuff because except for earth they don’t actually fall under my definition of personifs but ive spent far more time proportionally crying over them than any other kind of -spirit
i find it really interesting that the core message of the series so far seems to be the nature of redemption and responsibility (europa, ganymede, titan, earth, jupiter, saturn, x, probably more i’m forgetting) considering that unlike personifs celestial bodies in actuality still have no agency, but it makes sense because like. everybody’s gravity affects everybody else’s, and so there’s no way to look at anyone individually and decide anything without considering the destabilization it’ll cause. despite everything there’s no choice but to tolerate everybody
i love the… fragility of life-bearing planets. it’s fine for everybody else to take a few asteroid hits and go on extended trips out of orbit but earth can’t be left alone because his axis’ll freak out, he freezes up even before he leaves the goldilocks zone, he NEEDS luna to take his hits for him, etc. and i wonder if this ever frustrates him. the main issue with x taking jupiter’s place was the risk to him. ik this was already explored somewhat during the moon revolution but still
ganymede vs planet x sounds so incredibly random without hours of context lmfao it’s like that one wttt poll asking whether god or alaska would be more likely to fall for an mlm
i’m noticing common memetics among planet fandoms (i am aware currently of solarballs, the earth-chan thing, planethumans, and the milky way/jupitearth fandom) the way country fandoms tend to fixate on certain events (ww2 and specifically poland’s experience, depicted accurately or not). jupiter is always characterized as a calm, protective figure, and earth is always somewhat egotistical, has a complicated relationship with mars, and is unconditionally devoted to their life forms, which is not really considered a strength. everybody else’s depiction is more variable, i’ve never seen the sun be portrayed as so unstable
i think the unpredictability of my interests is one of the reasons i don’t get as much engagement as i’d like lmfao
#i promise i’ll get back to btiwposting and dc stuff soon#personif meta#i broke my hyperfixation software sort of on purpose i’m much better at controlling it than i was a year ago. trust#honestly personifs are kinda just an interest cheat code i can just say okay we are going to be turning This thing into a person today#and my brain will be like on it boss. loading up the dopamine. you will gain an interest in astronomy#OTJ#planetspirits#solarballs
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might be that i broke my rule of not being distracted by new WIPs until i finished something but. it’s reese’s fault, really, so i should get none of the blame
Air out here’s like sucking breath in through a plastic bag: hot, wet, and suffocating. Draws sweat from every pore, even at this hour, the sun setting deeper the further down the sidewalk Keaton walks. No longer knows where he’s going. Berlin’s directions were too vague, simple and unclear.
Down the road, he’d said, and that leaves a lot of options. Too many.
He’s already passed a nail salon, vet clinic, a 99 cent store, and a shop boasting true psychic readings. Last one’s kind of tempting, but it’s been closed for two hours. Maybe tomorrow, if they haven’t left town yet.
Keaton draws his phone out from his pocket to glance first at the time, then at Berlin’s text to confirm the name of the bar. He’s on the right street, and it’s ten minutes until he’s supposed to be there.
There’s a nervous weight on his shoulders like a stalking ghost, remnants of their argument this morning haunting him all these hours later.
Because nothing’s been resolved.
Nothing’s likely going to be resolved.
#also i might be sick and that’s all the excuse i need for treating my brain to instant dopamine#fun fact : it hurts a lot after this#but then it gets better!#that should be our tagline going forward#‘it’s going to hurt a lot for a while but it gets better! … eventually!’#wip : polyjamory#because we have no other name for it yet
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something invokes the carnal rage in me when a grown man rages like a two-year old over a video game
#it makes me think of the mothers trying to act like theyre defusing an already blown up bomb and it's literally just#idk#it just gives me the ick im srry the moment i hear one 'me' entitled statement and it's not like#clearly burnt out 'i kinda know im being ironic' ventong#venting LMAO#and just genuine sorrow for urself#over a Digital Game#i just cant srry#maybe it's my youngest to an older brother who everyone gets the ages flipped around Not just from looks but actual Acting#syndrome#and of course context plays a part too like if u have a stressful af job and just wanted to rewind? understandable. id be pissed too#but mfers who just Sit there and continue to stink the whole room up is like. ok. get some air or smthin#i do Not fuck around with throwing or damaging expensive shit ESPECIALLY if u did not pay for it#idk im naturally good at video games i think only bcs i only had access to old one that were way above my age audience#so i had to develop a sense of patterning not just to have competition but to just play the game at all#but still i have gotten frustrated at games bcs everyone gets frustrated at smthing#but usually now. at my grown age. (even tho i Rarely ever game anymore bcs i cant rlly so anything not active in my mind#bcs of Guilt and Constant Dread of Judgement)#when i find myself getting frustrated it's bcs im purposefully either playing a harder level/mode/with better ppl so i can advance#and the advancing is just not happening#i acknowledge that and accept not every difficulty can be passed at one time or at all sometimes in my limited time/care so i just either#Shut it Off. or go back down to a pace i know can just be carefree#i DO have a thing where i Need to end on a win. which is not good bcs i do that with everythin (like sports) in order to justify me quittin#but if i have to get out of the rlly competitive lobby to get my dopamine then i will bcs this is meant to give u that#anyways it's just insane. ted complains abt superfocus while being superfocused himself on the concept of superfocus#the neverending story#DO anything not active** idk it's my fear of death maybe that i disease myself with everything needing a purpose when it comes to gain
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jesus fucking christ like I want to be able to go back to school so I can make more than $23 per hour and my mom already thinks we're going to buy a different house together when my uncle passes
#'you need to start investing' WITH WHAT MONEY YOU'RE TAKING IT ALL#and I was like 'hey what about you saying you would pay for my school when he passes'#and suddenly that's no longer the plan??#YOU WANT HELP BUT YOU WON'T HELP INVEST IN ME GETTING A BETTER JOB AFTER SUPPORTING YOUR ASS BECAUSE YOU'RE FINANCIALLY IRRESPONSIBLE#AND TAKE WHATEVER MAN YOU CAN GET BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO FUCKING STANDARDS???#like I'm. Going fucking insane right now#I've been working for the past 10 fucking years to help support HER because she choose a fucking lying thieving bum to marry#adn I fucking hit a massive backslide because I needed a fucking dopamine hit to recover from another shit birthday#fucking IDIOT SUCCUMBED TO FANDOM FIXATIONS#I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW IT CREPT UP ON ME THIS EASILY I'VE BEEN SO GOOD CONTROLLING MYSELF UNTIL NOW#I WANT OUT
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Solo projects are hard because then I have to wait to actually release the stuff to get feedback (to be fair, nobody is forcing me to have a week-by-week update schedule...)
Trying so hard not to spoil my own episodes when I have stuff ready weeks in advance 😔
#I would not last a day in a large scale production#Anyways for those who see this...I am still making more episodes! I usually have them scheduled on Sundays at 3-5:00 a.m CST :)#I have stuff scheduled for like the next 3 weeks#Which honestly I'm not sure if I like because then I get so nervous waiting around#soooo much better to finish something and post it on the same day#But Its probably better to go without the instant dopamine rush#Enough yapping#see you guys next episode! Hope you like it#as always...if you see this yap post feel free to ask questions#Roy's in for a fun time.#not sims#yapping
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people interacting w wgoin in my notes... this would be a rly bad time to say all my writing will probably be on hiatus for the indefinite future huh
#not like it makes a practical difference considering i only upload twice a year at best#but im realising how much my writing is shame motivated and its just not sustainable or healthy#it saddens me that these stories i invested So much time and effort into will probably never get finished#i wanna hold out hope that they will but#i dont want anyones expectations to be too high#bc knowing myself they probably wont#i started wgoin thinking that this would be the story i commit to finishing and not just abandon as soon as i get bored#but that was before i had really realised how my brain works#and for a while writing these chapters have felt very forced#gbgb had a much better run till it crashed and i was just unable to pick it back up#tbh that one could potentially still be saved bc of how open ended it is if i get any inspo for it back whatsoever#bc it had no strict plan i was entirely making it up as i go#and im realising thats how i write best. i tried to plan wgoin so id commit to finishing it but im realising that has the opposite effect#if i plan anything too thoroughly writing it becomes like gnawing on lead#cause i got all the dopamine out of the idea already#i write best when i have nothing but a vague idea or a vibe#gbgb crashed bc i ran out of vibes and ideas but if i find any again who knows#there is the possibility where i scrap the plan i had for wgoins entire plot and make the rest up as i go#which i might try purely bc i love the story sm#and i think i enjoyed writing it most back in the first three parts where i Was making it up as i went#which is why im saying indefinite hiatus instead of discontinued#bc there is hope for them. just not. much#so if u stick around maybe follow me on ao3 if u dont wanna see all my posts n just my stories#maybe in 3 years time youll see another wgoin notif or sumn#sorry to the small but dedicated handful of readers who really loved these fics#i wanted to write more for you guys bc ik its hard to find this kinda fic anywhere else; its why i started writing it#but i am but one unmedicated autist w severe adhd. we r working on the unmedicated part tho#ive learned so much abt how my brain functions now n how to make the most of it tho#i told myself id finish any new writing before i post it. so know anything new Will be complete :3#mischiefing time
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so anyway
#battery of peril my beloved#look at it go squeeshy#sly cooper#i'm sooooooooo bored omfgg send me asks or something#i think i'm going to play sly 1 first when i get back home because i've really missed her and then sly 2#sly 2 but only the rajan and contessa levels because the canada & arpeggio levels make my dopamine levels drop#you want me to play 2 levels based on deforestation in 2023 ? don't think so babes#idk about sly 3 yet i think it's too soon and same goes for jak. maybe bust out my ps2 and play ratchet#or better yet Scooby mf Doo mystery mayhem. fucking love that game
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guys idk if u can tell but i did not have english today…
#need someone to inject the dopamine rush from spotting a pattern that makes me go holy shit it all makes sense directly into my veins#save me literary analysis. save me. save me literary analysis.#i did however write 3 hours of exams. very exciting.#kenon.notes#“how do you get better at english” idk man im just insane about it… its like asking a mouse how to get into cheese#that mouse has no idea. anything he says is gonna sound insane to you#because he is already insane. for cheese
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love how we went “look we have these amazing devices that connect everyone to all the knowledge in the world!” and companies went “what if i took that and irreversibly damaged an entire generation’s brain chemistry”
#im looking at you tiktok#i hate it when people use the phrase societal adhd because i have adhd and its not the same#but like#i see where the sentiment comes from#everyone’s attention spans are FUCKED#not to mention whatever the hell is going on in gen alpha#literal children are being HEAVILY influenced by online spaces and its honestly really sad#ive seen 8 year olds at my work with full faces of makeup#some of these kids in laser tag are stringing together lines of obscenities that would make a sailor blush#i had to kick a kid out a little while back because he was screaming slurs at a kid who was maybe 6 years old#mind you the this kid was like 10#its sad really#cuz then those of us with adhd too are double fucked#like i want to delete tiktok so bad but its literally like a fucking addiction#wahoo dopamine!!!#and now#even better#its getting even more heavily monetized!!#this is dystopian
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took me all these years to specifically think wait maybe it’ll be hard to write on days im spending a lot of time online, because social media is a bombardment of information that my brain will attempt to process, and every post i see and every app i scroll through is just stacking something new on top of that, and we are not meant to be consuming this much information at once all the time and maybe consuming this much will make it hard to do a thing that although fun does take brain power, but social media use in this way is so normalised now and ive been doing it for years. literally had a rot in bed on my phone day yesterday which was great i needed it but by the evening even with brainstorming i was like woahh why can’t i get a grasp on any scene in my head the way i usually can. like woah wait a minute. many such cases i think
#it’s like how I feel better if I don’t go online first thing because it’s such an instant dopamine hit#as well as letting myself decide when I’m ready for the info bombardment. every time I scroll after waking up I get in a bad mood
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Am I Understimulated Or Depressed: a novel
And Would Buying the New Mario Fix Me: the sequel
#ooc#i also. need funny relaxing but not too chill game#admin you need better procrastination methods#look churning out media. it's fun but you need to have a buffer or you just have a crisis waiting for the dopamine#and brother am i feeling its loss#but....... still waiting on my TB drive so i can play ffxiv again#but what if i just get burnt out. what then.#i think this is also me going slightly crazy from being alone in everything
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I have emerged for my quarterly tumblr session to recover from MCM Expo. It's been so long since I've done a con and I did Liverpool Comic Con the weekend before. There were so many people going solo to MCM that it really felt quite comfy, just bopping around, running into folks and hanging out. Vibes were impeccable though the timing of things was a bit wonky.
Also Rhys Darby is a gorgeous man and getting to make him laugh is going to be on loop in my brain for life, probably.
#mcm expo#personal#I really need to better at social media so I can actually forge and maintain friendships#get the dopamine going so I can stay on track with cosplay#actually learn about the Discord servers and meetups BEFORE running into people who ask if you're on said Discords and attending the meetup#I went into yesterday very Stede#zero plan#lots of faith in myself#braincells deactivated#just pure enthusiasm for the day ahead
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listening to unpredictable trying to convince my brain i have control over my life
#just gonna save myself gonna save myself honna savw myself on loop in my brain#LMFAO#i think i’m realizing a spot where i can just cbt myself up#like i have enough of a grasp on it now (thanks prof young)#and i know i’ll kinda be gaslighting myself into being more positive but i’m gonna try and make it more. based around what control i have#and what i CAN do and what is within possibility and likelihood#and stop yearning for stuff i have no control over#whether those things go in any positive way is not in my control at this point#all i can do is tru to be good and succeed and be happy without thinking about what love looks like ever and whether it’s within my life LOL#in any case. 5sos upbeat songs until i’ve been injected with enough dopamine to try and get better#mano.mindtalk
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