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gravityfallsreaderinsert · 2 months ago

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Mr. and Mx. Mystery

S1E2 - The Legend of the Gobblewonker

MasterList

In the kitchen was Mabel, Dipper and Y/N. The twins were at the table eating pancakes, really it was Mabel who touched the pancakes you made them, as you were at the stove making more for you and Stan. You finished and placed your share on a plate. Deciding to watch the twins have their fun, you leaned against the counter, plate in hand. You watch as the twins sat in their chairs, maple syrup bottles in hand.

"Are you ready for the ultimate challenge?" Mabel exclaimed holding a Sir Syrup bottle in her hands. "I'm always ready!" Dipper replied with just as much enthusiasm, holding a Mountie Man bottle. "Then you know what this means!" They both turned their bottle upside down in the air, mouths open trying to see who would get their syrup to fall first. "Syrup race, ahh!" They both shouted, cheering for their respected bottles.

"Go, Sir Syrup!"

"Go, Mountie Man!"

"Go go!" They both shout as the syrup in Mabel's bottle starts coming out faster than Dipper's. She then taps the bottom of her bottle, the syrup dropping first. "Almost... almost... Yes," Mabel coughed as the syrup dropped in her mouth and placed her bottle down. "I won!"

Seeing that Mabel won, Dipper put down his bottle and picked up the newspaper he had on the the table. "Hey, Mabel, check this out." He scoots closer toward her, leaning the paper over so she can see. Mabel's eyes light up from looking at an ad in the paper. "Human-sized hamster balls? I'm human-sized!"

"No, no, Mabel. This," Dipper then points to a different ad in the paper that was advertising a photo contest. "We see weirder stuff than that every day. We didn't get any photos of those gnomes, did we?"

"Nope, just memories. And this beard hair." Mabel then pulls out a tuft of white hair from her sweater. Dipper looks at the hair she’s holding in disgust. "Why did you save that?" Mabel shrugged.

"Mabel drop the hair..." Y/N told her, their face also holds an expression of disgust. She lets the grip of her fingers go, laughing as the hair falls to the floor. After the twins are done talking, Stan comes into the kitchen with his own newspaper in hand. "Good morning, knuckleheads. You three know what day it is?"

"Um... Happy anniversary?" Dipper questions, when he does you put your finished plate in the sink and exclaimed. "If it is, I didn't get anything, I have enough pride to admit that." Then Mabel shouts her own guess, "Mazel tov!” Stan then hits Dipper and Y/N on the head with his newspaper, "Ow!"

"It's family fun day, ya geniuses!" Stan walks over toward the fridge. "We're cuttin' off work and havin' one of those, ya know," Pulls out a carton of milk and takes a whiff of the inside, "Bonding-type deals." He walks over toward the table again about to take a drink of the milk, until you take it out of his hands and replaced it with the pancakes you cooked him. Dipper looked over at his Uncle and asked, "Grunkle Stan, is this gonna be anything like our last family bonding day?"

Stan and Y/N stood over the twins as the two kids were painting on counterfeit money, a bunch of finished one are hanging behind them to dry. You were guiding the twins on how to draw what was needed as Stan criticized them.

"You call that Ben Franklin? He looks like a woman!"

"I don't know, I kinda it." Once you said that, red and blue lights started flashing outside of the shank with sirens making you all turn towards the window.

"Uh-oh!"

Mabel shivered, "Ohh! The county jail was so cold." You walked over to where Mabel was sitting and rufffle her hair as you closed your eyes and sighed in content. "You have to admit though, being held together made us closer, sweetie."

Stan scarfed the rest of his pancakes down and placed his own plate with yours. He walks over to the table and wrapped his arms around all three of you, "All right, maybe we haven't been the best summer caretaker. But I swear, today we're gonna have some real family fun. Now, who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?"

Everyone cheered, throwing their arms in the air until Dipper processed what Stan said, "Wait. What?"

After you and Stan put your suits on, he handed you another blindfold, you looked at it then toward his face in disbelief. You placed one of your hands on your hip and grabbed the cloth out of his hands. "When you mentioned the blindfolds I thought you only meant the kids." He chuckled, slapped both his hands on your shoulders and gave you a playful kiss on the cheek, "Trust me, you'll love it!" Y/N placed the cloth in their pocket and started heading towards the car.

The kids are already in the backseat of the car when you and Stan get there, their blindfolds on. Stan got behind the wheel and you in the passenger seat and tied your fold over your eyes.

It's only been a few minutes in the car, when Dipper feels uneasy. As he felt the pit in his stomach grow, Stan leaned over to play with the car radio, not looking at the road making the car swerve. Dipper mutters to himself. "Whoa! Whoa! Blindfolds never lead to anything good."

"Wow. I feel like all my other senses are heightened. I can see with my fingers." Mabel touches Dipper's face, he laughs as he feels her hands on his cheek until the car hits a bump in the road. "Whoa! Grunkle Stan, are you wearing a blindfold?"

Stan laughs, he leans back a little to look at the twins. "Nah, but with these cataracts I might as well be." he squints his eyes towards the front eye, hand over them, "What is that, a woodpecker?" The Twins screamed as you shouted Stan's name, all three of you feeling the car crashing through something.

"Okay, okay, open 'em up." Y/N and the twin take off their blindfolds, seeing the Gravity Falls lake in front of them. "Ta-da! It's fishin' season!"

"Fishing?" Mabel questioned as you clasped out hand together in joy walking over to stand in closer to the dock, "Fishing!" Dipper placed his hands on his hips and looked at his Grunkle in suspicion. "What are you playing at, old man?"

"You're gonna love it! The whole town's out here!" The twins looked over at the lake and low and behold it looked like half the town was enjoying a summer day on the lake. Whether it was one person or a whole family, there were multiple boats. Including Lazy Susan with a pan in his hand, asking the fish to jump in it, Toby taking a picture of a man who caught a giant fish, resulting in the man being blinded by the flash and falling in the lake and one boat had Wendy's family in it with Manly Dan grabbing the fish with his hands and punching them in the boat as his sons cheered. Stan took a deep breath as he took it all in and wrapped an arm around Y/N's waist bringing them closer, "That's some quality family bonding!"

"Uncle Stan, why do you want to bond with us all of a sudden?"

"Come on, this is gonna be great! We've never had fishin' buddies before. The guys from the lodge won't go with us. They don't like or trust us." Stan said as he made air quotations.

Y/N picked the kids up and hugged them tight, the two straining for air. "Oh, kids! This is gonna be fun! A chance to be together that isn't crime related." You then put them back on the ground walking back over to Stan, excited. Mabel turns to Dipper, "I think they actually want to fish with us." She whispered, looking over toward their great uncle and auncle. Stan walks over to the two with his hands behind his back. "Hey, I know what'll cheer you sad sacks up. Pow! Pines family fishin' hats. That's hand-stitching, ya know. It's just gonna be you, me, Y/N and those goofy hats on a boat for ten hours!"

"Ten hours?!" The twins shouted as Stan then pulled out a booked titled '1001 Yuk 'Em Ups'. "I brought the joke book." Dipper grabbed his head in agony, "No. No!" Mabel then grabbed Dipper by the arms and shakes him back and forth, "There has to be a way out of this."

Runs from dock, comes Old Man McGucket, "I seen it! I seen it again! Hoo hoo hoo! The Gravity Falls gobblewonker! Come quick before he scramdoodles away! Ha ha hoo-ah!" He screamed as he crashed into things and overturned a few others. When he stops he starts doing a dance and slaps himself, laughing. The twins walk over to the commotion and as they do Mabel puts her hands together and leaned her cheek on them. "Aw. He's doing a happy jig." McGucket grabbed Mabel by her arms and shouted, "No!!! It's a jig of grave danger!" Just as he did his son comes out from the cabin on the lake with a spray bottle. "Hey! Hey! Now, what did I tell you about scaring my customers? This is your last warning, dad." McGucket flinches from the water being sprayed at him. "But I got proof this time, by gummity!" He then motions everyone to follow him toward the end of the dock.

"Behold! It's gobbledywonker what done did it!" He exclaimed as he pointed at a boat that's been broken in half laying in the water. "It had a long neck like a gee-raffe, and wrinkly skin like like these two right here." He then points to Y/N and Stan. Stan was digging in his ear not paying attention as you looked at McGucket in angry, "I beg your pardon!"

"It chopped my boat up to smitheroons!" McGucket then points at the small island that's on the other side of the lake, "It shim-shammed over to scuttlebutt island! Ya gotta believe me!"

"Attention, all units. We got ourselves a crazy old man." Sheriff Blubs said casing everyone to laugh and Tate McGucket to shake his head and hold it down in shame. McGucket then holds his own head down as he walks away in sadness, "Aw, donkey spittle! Banjo Polish"

"Well, that happened. Now, let's untie this boat and get out on that lake!" Stan said as he walks over to his boat, Y/N following him. When you catch up to him, you see the twins talking to each other, "Stan, there's a chance the twins might want to go look for this monster..." Stan waved his hand at you, blowing a raspberry, getting in the boat. "They wouldn't want to miss this family bonding, trust me." As he said this the twins came over with smiles on their faces. Dipper wraps his arm around Stan's neck and said, "Grunkle Stan! Change of plans! We're taking that boat to scuttlebutt island, and we are gonna find that gobblewonker." The twins start to chant, Monster Hunt! Monster Hunt! Monster-" Then McGucket comes over standing behind them, "Monster Hunt! Monster-. Eh... I'll go." He says with his head down again.

"You dudes say something about a monster hunt?" Soos in his own boat pulls up on the other side of the dock. "Soos!" Mabel then walks closer to the boat to give Soos a fist bump. "What's up, hambone? Kapoosh! Pow! Explode! Dude, you could totally use my boat for your Hunt. It's got a steering wheel, chairs normal boat stuff."

"All right, let's think this through. You kids could go waste your time on some epic monster-finding adventure, or you could spend the day learning how to tie knots and skewer worms with your great uncle Stan and auncle Y/N! So, whaddya say?" As Stan is saying this, you watched the kids put on their life jackets and get on the boat with Soos without a single glance toward you or Stan. You folded your arms in front of your chest and frowned. "Stan... they left." You whispered as you watched the boat leave, turning to Stan who opened his eyes watching them go too. As Soos' boat leaves you hear twins shout, "We made the right choice!"

Stan grabs you hand, making you almost fall in the boat if you didn't catch yourself. You both sit down as Stan continued to watch the retreating boat. "Ingrates! Ah, who needs 'em? We got a whole box of creepy fishin' lures to keep us company." You both stare at the lure and shiver, Stan then slams the box shut.

~ Time Skip ~

"Traitors! We'll find my own fishin' buddies.” Stan then starts looking around the lake, a focused look on his face.

“But, what about us all bonding toget-“ Y/N didn’t finished their sentence as the boat was already speeding in some direction, Stan having found his target. "There's our new pals!"

"Now that we're alone, Rosanna, there's a burning question which my heart longs to ask of you." The man pulled out a box as the woman’s eyes began to fill with tears. “Oh, Reginald!” Before the man could continue Stan slows his boat down behind theirs and stopping.

"Hey! Wanna hear a joke?" The younger man was about to speak because Stan interrupted him, "Here goes. My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is gettin' better! Her aim is gettin' better! Ya see, it's… it's funny because marriage is terrible.” You clapped your hands as you laughed. However the younger couple scoffed and rowed their boat far way from the Stan ‘O War.

“What?!"

You placed a hand on his back as you looked at the retreating boat, "Don't worry, Stan. I enjoy your jokes..."

"Look, when you're threading the line a lot of people don't know this but you want to use a barrel knot. That's a secret from one fishin' buddy to another. Heh heh!" Stan has his arm wrapped around a kid that's in a different boat, the kid looked extremely uncomfortable. "Uh I, uh who are you, exactly?" Stan then pats the kid on the head, Y/N was standing behind his confused as ever. "Just call me your Grunkle Stan!"

"Sir sir! Why are you talking to our son?! If you don't leave right now, I'm calling the police!" The mother shouts as she stands behind her son, making Stan let go of the kid. "Oh no you don't!" You pushed Stan behind you and placed your hands on your hip, leaning over towards their boat, trying to get in the woman's face. She backs up a little but still tries to stand her ground, "I will!

"Ha ha! Ya see, the thing about that is, Arrrr!" Stan starts the engine and zooms the boat in a different direction, almost making you fall.

"Go bother your own kids!"

Stan moved the boat towards the middle of the lake, looking defeated. You looked around the lake, seeing that most of the people and their boats are starting to pack up. You sighed, turning towards Stan and saw him leaning his arms on his knees, head in hands as he looked at his own reflection in the water. You moved over to sit closer to him and wrapped your arm around his shoulder. Stan looked from his reflection to yours, he sat up and wrapped his arm around your waist, the both of you now leaning on to one another. Moments of silence went by until you broke it.

"Hey honey, how you holding up?" You rubbed circles in his shoulder with your thumb, you felt his body sink more into you. He waved his hand, staring at the water.

"I just... I wanted this day to go well. I wanted us to bond with the kids, try to get them to see that we mean well, ya know. To show that I actually care for those like brats. I don't want them to think that we're just a couple of criminals." Y/N sighed and looked back into the water.

"Well, sure today didn't go the way you planned but we still have the rest of summer. So, we have time to bond with them and I don't think they see us like that all the time. Yeah, we have our moments, of course, but I don't think they see us just as that."

"Oh yeah? Ya wanna know what the first thing they did when they first got here was," he glanced over at you, raising his eyebrow. When he saw you nod your head, he removed his arm from your waist and put his head in his hands again. "They were debating on if they should turn us in to the FBI and jump out the window to escape and they asked an eight ball if they should or not... A eight ball, Y/N!"

Y/N removed their arm from Stan and folded their hands in their lap, looking down. "Oh, I didn't know... Well, even if they don't really warm up to us, we have each other still. But, I would still like to try and build some relationship with them and even after today I know you would too." Stan rolled his eyes and groaned, waving his hand at you. "Forget it, those little suckers chose to hang out with Soos instead of their own family. We don't need them," he pulled out a piece of wire and starting to try and tie it into a knot. "Like you said we have each other and fishing! Er, ugh, gah! Mollycoddling..." He complained as he failed to tie it.

"Oh, Stan..."

"Can you please tell me more funny stories, pop-pop?" You and Stan turned to see a grandfather and his two grandkids in a boat. They seem like they were having a good time together, much to Stan's and Y/N's annoyance.

"Anything for my fishin' buddies!" As the the grandfather laughs he pats his grandchildren on the head. Stan growls as he folds his arms over his chest, staring at the family. "Arghh!" Y/N gently placed their hand on Stan’s back, "Stan, just don't look at them."

"Pop-pop, I just weawized that I wuv you." Stan stands up and cups his hands around his mouth, "Aw, come on! Boo! Boo!"

The grandfather stands up in his own boat, hands on his hips. "Hey, there! What's the big idea?" The grandson then looks up at his grandfather with a pity expression and says, “Maybe they have no one who wuvs them, pop-pop."

"Yeah, well, I-I nahh! Ahhh." Before he could say anything Soos' boat speeds past the Stan 'O War soaking him and Y/N. You hold on to the boat to keep your balance as Stan throws his hat in the boat, puffing out in frustration as he sits down and sighed with his head in his hands.

~ Time Skip ~

As Y/N and Stan sat together in silence, you both hear Dipper's voice. "Hey! Over here!" The S.S Cool Dude pulls up next to the Stan 'O War and Dipper takes a picture of both Stand and you with his camera. You and Stan look at each other in surprise then back at their boat or what's left of it anyway. "What the kids? I thought you two were off playin' spin the bottle with Soos?" Stan said crossing his arms, trying to look like he wasn't happy to see them.

"Well, we spent all day trying to find a "legendary" dinosaur."Dipper began and Mabel continued. "But we realized the only dinosaurs we want to hang out with is right here."

"Save your sympathy! We been having a great time without ya, makin' friends, talkin' to our reflection-- we had a run-in with the lake police! Guess we gotta wear these ankle bracelets now, so that'll be fun." He said holding his leg up to show the bracelet. You wave your hand nonchalantly, "We'll just try and take them off later."

"So I guess there isn't room in that boat for three more?" Dipper asked.

Y/N looked over at Stan with a worried look on their face as they placed a hand on his shoulder. Stan looked at the water, then back up toward the twins, they both put on the custom fisher hats that Stan made them. Stan looked over at you, smirking, and nodded his head at the kids. Y/N laughed as they leaned over toward the kids, picking them up and placing them on their lap, both of them cheering. "You knuckleheads ever seen me thread a hook with my eyes closed?" Dipper stands up from your lap, pointing his finger at Stan, "Five bucks says you can't do it." Stan points back at him, "You're on!"

"Five more bucks says you can't do it with your eyes closed plus me singing at the top of my lungs!" Mabel exclaimed as she wrapped an arm around your shoulders and you warped your around her side, both you laughing.

"Kids, don't make a bets with an ex con-man." You chuckled as Mabel looked at you still laughing, "But that's what makes it challenging!"

"Plus, I like these odds!" Soos then in the boats, causing both you and Stan two look at him in shock, "Whoa! What happened to your shirt?" Soos puts his hand up and and shakes his head. "Long story, dude." Dipper then holds up his camera standing on one stand of the boat. "All right. Everybody get together, say fishing." the rest of you huddle together and smile and shout, "Fishing!"

"Fishing! Dude, am I in the frame?" Soos asked as the picture gets taking. You all then spend of the rest of the day enjoying each others company. Then as the sun sets you all call it a day and Stan starts to drive the boat toward the dock, all you smiling in content until the boat hits a bump in the water.

Dipper turned toward his sister and asked, "What was that?" Mabel looked at him with a smile still on her face and shrugged. "Mm-mm."

Underwater, the real Gobblewonker swims under the Stan 'O War and eats one of Dipper's cameras.

#dipper pines #gravity falls #gravity falls reader insert #mabel pines #stan pines x reader #stanley pines #stanley pines version #stanley pines x reader #Mr. and Mx. Mystery

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mintmatcha · 5 months ago

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a meet cute

cw: cisfem reader, reader is part gnome, dungeon meshi universe, it's about an insane side character, sorry

A gentle breeze cuts across the shop, just over the front counter. You have to lean into it to get any sort of relief from this summer's heat. Your shop door's bell chimes as a customer walks in. It's unusual that anyone is out this time of day in this type of heat, let someone fully robed, scarf and hat included. He's dressed in dark, rich colors, the types of dye that drip with indigo and money, a contrast to the reddish tuft of hair of his head.

He'd be cute, you think, if he wasn't a gnome.

It's not that you don't like gnomes-- you are one, mostly-- but gnomes around your age are boring. The men nod along to anything you say, try to impress you with pleasantries and tidbits, all with that glint in their eye, they've found their next wife. They are dictated by societal niceities and traditions, topped off with a strange sense of superiority, all while they still eye you like a piece of meat-

But this gnome isn't looking at you like that. No, he's marveling at your wears.

The stranger tilts the glass in the sunlight and rainbows refract across the floor, dancing in looping, wonderful patterns long after his movement has stopped. Figures of dancers twirling around each other, bowing and dipping with ease, disappate into the air. His hands are actually a bit small for a gnome, thin fingers, uncalloused and delicate with the way he inspects the magic.

"The runes on this are subtle," he notes, mostly to himself. "Gnome magic on elven crystal."

"You have good taste." You lean more forward on to the oak surface and he jumps a bit, as if he hadn't noticed you were even there. "And a keen eye."

The man melts into a polite smile. His eyes are downturned and his cheeks are round, tickled pink from the sun. He approaches you, a prickle of chill following suit. There must be some elemental magic sown into his clothing or something.

"Thank you."

"No, thank you," you say. "It's my work."

"You have a talented hand for magic, then."

"And you have a talented eye."

His nose wiggles in that delightfully gnomish way that only old men do. "No talent, all practice."

You give him your name, he gives you his. Holm. Classic. Boring. Standard.

"Is this a gift for your wife?"

"Oh, I'm not--" He waves that thought away with disinterest-- which happens to peak yours. "My party mate is getting married."

"An elf?"

"Dwarf, actually." He twirls to glass again and the waltz of light resumes. "To be honest, we aren't very close. I don't really know what she likes, I just think she deserves something nice."

"The effect won't be as brilliant for her, because dwarfs don't tend to have a very good mana flow, but it'll still be pretty. A couple glasses for her and her beau-" You wipe away a bead of sweat that's begun to roll down the side of your neck. "And maybe a bottle of chilled wine. I think that's a very good present for anyone."

He nods, button nose crinkled with delight as he places the glasswork on the table before you. "I'll get a sex then."

A beat passes. You can't help the wild smile that sneaks out. "What was that?"

"Hm?" He hasn't moved, frozen in place, still holding the glass. His expression doesn't change, but you swear there's a touch of pink creeping over his ears.

"You said a sex."

"No, I said a /set./"

"No, you didn't." You cock your head to the side in the way that makes your neck look long and your smile charming. "Are you thinking about sex, Mr Holm?"

He swallows and you think maybe you've gone too far. Your brand of needling is more of a half foot type of humor, which isn't universally appreciated, to say the least.

"I'm- I don't--" Holm surprises you by laughing at him self. "I don't do that."

Interesting. A gnome with a sense of humor. You didn't know those existed. You lean back, trying to bite back your smile as you speak. "What? Think about sex?"

"Or anything else to do with that word."

You inspect him a bit closer. The colors, the hat, the symbol burnt into his pouch-- they're religious symbols. He's a spirit worshipper, one of the religions in the south. You aren't sure of all of the intricacies, but you know the most devout are completely celibate.

Holm shrugs rather casually. "Close enough."

"Oh, you're one of those monk-things, aren't you?" For some reason, you're a bit disappointed. Of course the man you have a nice rapport with is one that won't fuck you.

Not that you want to fuck him.

"So, you must think about sex a lot." You call as you walk to your backroom. There's a couple of different versions of the glasses, so it takes you a moment to find another set of dancers. Really, this guy has nice taste; this is your favorite piece. "Since you can't have any."

"Probably less than you do-" he calls back. "Since you heard is when I clearly said set."

Despite yourself, you laugh. It's not particularly funny, but there's butterflies in your chest and a tremble in your hands. You wrap the glasses in pieces of cloth and ribbon-- purple, to match his scarf-- before bringing them back up. The stranger is still watching you with that look on his face, the crinkle in his eye-

"It's on the house," You slide the gift wrapped presents over to him.

"I couldn't possibly."

"Just come back again some time. Or buy me a beer if you see me at the bar."

You both know that isn't a fair trade. Crystal is expensive, magic work even more so; you could charge him a couple hundred gold if you wanted, but... conversation is sometimes more valuable than money.

"I don't drink." He rubs the back of his neck, almost sheepish. "I eat, though."

The flutter in your chest gets worse. "Food then."

He nods. Taking the gift, he picks it up and starts towards the door, a hum on his voice and a deeper smile creeping up on his face. When he gets to the door, he puts up an arm to open it, then pauses.

He turns back around.

"I want to pay." The strange says, firmly. "I'll still buy you food, but I want to pay for these."

He pulls a bag of coins from his belt and presses them into your hand. It's heavy with gold. He doesn't pull away until you meet his dark, stern eyes and close your hand around the bag.

"I don't want to lead you on," he says, softly. "I find you very..."

He says more with silence than his words.

"Don't worry," you say, even though a worry does creep up your spine. "I'm not so desperate that I'll fall in love with a priest."

"Not a priest, but thank you." His cheeks puff with smile and you immediately know that you may have lied.

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