#glad you got the postcard
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violentlydefending · 1 year ago
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adventure time comics good actually [id in alt!]
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loverbang00 · 8 months ago
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my pulls!!!
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dotdot-is-here · 1 month ago
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Heart to Heart pt.1
Hi!! This is a short fic i made inspired by @citricacidprince 's take on the Relativity Falls au. I love their version so much!! This was originally a single fic but i thought it would be better to cut it in half and post both parts separately. The second part is about Stan and Ford and I'll post it in a few days
Summary: On the aftermath of the portal opening for the last time, both sets of twins have some conversations
"look at us, when did we get so old?"
"...that haircut makes you look like mom."
Mabel recoils in mock disgust. "Eesh! Don't say that!" She protests as she hits him lightly on the shoulder. It's a half-lie and he knows it. Even with the grey jacket and short hair, every little accessory on his sister is so undeniably Mabel that it makes something in his chest ache a little. He's seen countless colorful dimensions, but none of them are as colorful as his twin's fashion sense.
They're not the only thing old here, Mason notes. The mirror looks aged. Hell, the entire house looks aged. He briefly wonders how many things have changed just inside these walls. If he were to walk around the halls, would it be the same layout he asked to built more than 30 years ago?-
Mason inhales sharply. The kids should be sleep by now. They need to address the elephant in the room.
"Mabel listen. You can keep pretending to be me until the end of the summer. I know you have a business here and all. We'll... Figure out what to do once the boys are back home."
Mabel nods, but as soon as she looks him in the eyes the world seems to stop for a moment, as if holding its breath. Her eyes start to get watery. Before he knows it, his twin is pulling him into a hug.
"I'm so glad you're okay.."
Mason freezes, the reality of it all setting in. He's back.
His arms wrap around Mabel in slow motion, as if by pure muscle memory. By the time his chin meets her shoulder, he realizes he's crying too.
The words slip past his lips before he knows it. "I'm glad you're okay too."
"I'm sorry."
"Me too."
"It was an accident, i swear-"
"I know."
I love you
I love you too
(i started to think i would never see you again)
"I missed you Dipper..."
He sniffs, "Mabel- oh hell it's been so long since you've called me that."
They both let out a breathy, bittersweet laugh at that.
"I didn't mean to wrap you up in all of this Mabel, but i just- i-"
"You needed help. It's fine, really."
Was this about a postcard and a 20 hour drive? Was this about 30 years lost in between the mystery of dimensional travel and identity theft? Did either of them know?
They let go, reluctantly, because it's late and Mason can't remember the last time he's slept on a real bed. Mabel forgot completely about preparing the guest room so he gets to watch her flip over the house in search of fresh blankets. Even once the guest room is ready, they stay at the doorframe just a little longer.
"I got you back." Mabel whispers hesitantly, as if checking if he's is still real.
Dipper smiles "yeah, you did."
──⊹∆⊹──────⊹∆⊹──────⊹∆⊹──────⊹∆⊹───
Upstairs, the door to the attic that had been just slightly open during the heartwarming conversation closes fully. Eavesdropping is easier through an open door, after all.
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velnoni · 3 months ago
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Jesus, I LOVE how you interpret ford. Can NOT emphasize how much I enjoyed reading ur hcs for demi!ford! (and then I also have a much more personal appreciation as someone who’s prob demi. so, I’m excitedly shaking your shoulders a little.)
So how would things progress romantically for demi!Ford and reader, building off ur last set of hcs??
It's so nice to hear this, honestly 💓 and ofc, I'm glad you can enjoy these hcs on a deeper level! This ask is also gonna be a long one so buckle up.
Ford x Reader Romance Headcanons
Link to previous headcanon mentioned in ask
As mentioned in the last post, the two of you would consider a romantic relationship after Ford finished traveling with his brother. Something like traveling the world for anomalies would definitely take a minimum of a year to be frank. And you genuinely missed the guy. You missed the way he fixed his glasses (why doesn't he get a new pair?), the sassiness that came with him debuking theories, and his deep voice. Work wasn't the same without him.
Seeing postcards of him and Stanley always made you happy. And sometimes you would trace his clean penmanship in the letters he would mail to you. There would be days when you would receive multiple pages consisting of findings, personal life, and so forth. And you'd do your best by updating him about the Mystery Shack, your job & your own life in return. Because it was mail, there would be delays in the messages, but nothing neither of you could handle.
As time passed, the letters continued to pile in your drawer. You couldn't help but wonder if Ford and his brother would make it home safe. How does puncing an octopus in the eye even save the day? Those twins were such rascals, you swear.
Sometimes, you will dry out flowers and spray them with a light fragrance before mailing the letters away. Flower language is a wonderful thing, and on a particular night, you placed a chrysanthemum in the mail for the twins' safety. You were sure Ford would understand immediately.
The next letter you got back had a hydrangea. At some point as the days grew longer, you'd recognize your feelings towards Ford, especially after Mabel learned one summer you were the pen pal Ford spoke so fondly of.
When the brother touched back to land, you didn't find out until a couple of days after, both twins greeting you after work. You were incredibly excited over their return, noticing the differences in their behavior and how happy they both looked. The sea did them well, especially Ford. If your eyes lingered on him for a second longer, he didn't notice, but Stan will.
When Stan retires to bed, he shoots you two a wink, you being perplexed and Ford grumbling from his chest at his brother's implications. With the two of you alone, it reminded you both of when y'all started hanging outside of work. The night consisted of jokes, bantering, stories, and one too many cans of soda.
"May I be frank with you for a moment?" he asked. You turned your head in his direction and nodded, "What is it?" Ford would look away for a moment and then clasp his hands together, playing with his fingers, a tick of his when nervous. "S-Stan had told me recently you seemed interested in me. Ahem, well, allow me to elaborate. Romantically. Typically, I don't listen to Stan's gibberish, but he pointed out some discrepancies in your behavior." You made a small show of it by looking at Ford brown eyes and the way his peppered eyebrow creased in presumed concern. Leave to Stan to catch you red-handed. You reach out for an open bottle of soda and sip on the lukewarm contents. Ford was kind enough to be frank with you, and you appreciated that, a pro from a man of science.
"Yeah well...he's not exactly wrong." You swish the soda around in the can, wishing the sloshing sound could be more distracting than Ford's lips parting in surprise. "I genuinely do like you. You're a good man and company, Stanford. Got a few skeletons in the closet, but who doesn't? You're kind, enthusiastic about your work, and you're doing your hardest to move on. It's so easy to speak to you, and I really enjoyed your letters. It made life more bearable, y'know? And yes, I also see you as cute, but that's beside the point."
You glance at Ford, noticing how the tips of his ear were beet red and gave a tiny smile of reassurance. "Look, I wasn't planning on telling you at all. If this makes you feel uncomfortable, I can—" your cut off mid sentence when the older twin raised his hand to stop you.
"I'm sorry, I—" he coughs a bit and stares at you, clearly ready to speak. You prepare yourself to be let down gently. "I...I also feel this way towards you as well." You could hear the anxiousness in his voice and see how his lips turned down.
He would continue to confess about how you were someone he didn't want to let go of. But that even though he was confident enough that he had romantic interest, he was unsure how to go about it or if he wanted to tap into the potential of such a thing. It's been so long...
You reassure him he doesn't have to do anything and that you're happy he would be so open about it towards you. You can't help but chuckle at the irony of it all— the both of you felt like teenagers. He questions you about relationships, your experience, expectations, and so forth, and you answer to the best of your ability.
In the end, you two decided to give it a go. For Ford, he would like to go slow with the dating process, preferring outings that didn't require much physical contact. This could consist of book dates, picnics, movie marathons, dinner, etc.
For the most part, this worked great, Ford is very calculating even while dating, but you hope he'll be more comfortable eventually. It would be months until Ford kisses your cheek, and if it weren't for the scratchiness of his stubble, you wouldn't have noticed. It happened after watching a movie, and you returned the kiss. Ford will shyly cup his large hand into yours.
Ford at first will overthink everything in the beginning of the relationship, wondering if he's competent enough for you or if he's asking for too much. You reassure him that's not the case but sometimes he'll worry.
He's a superstitious man at heart and would prefer for your relationship to be quiet but not out of embarrassment. Half a year will pass before he would be okay enough to cuddle with you in a bed (clothes on). The most you two would do is give small kisses and tight hugs that led into the best naps.
He's an old man, he's bringing flowers when he picks you up for date night because it's classy and he enjoys the smile on your face when you smell them. Sometimes, he will offer you a ride home as well.
Please don't play Mario Kart with him...
He likes when you give him back massages (sweater on) and will gladly return the gesture.
Arguing with him is a nightmare, though. Man is stubborn as an ox and will not listen until you both properly calmed. And even then, he has his pride to uphold—something that has to run in the Pines family. Try to bribe him with hot chocolate if there needs to be a sit down.
Are sexual encounters on the table? Yes but he'd appreciate a discussion about it and if he even feels comfy enough to do so at the moment. He's trying his best to be more open minded and honest, you're his safe place. He's the type of guy to schedule sexual intimacy and no I'm not joking, he's a stickler for time. You don't know whether to be flabbergasted or amused. Probably both.
All in all, expect a simple and healthy relationship with Ford. He's learning just like you are.
Thank you for the ask! Please like and reblog, I'd greatly appreciate it.
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toournextadventure · 5 months ago
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our little secret pt.v
Summary: Letters to you.
Word Count: 4.5k Warnings: swearing, mention of possible suicide (slight mention, nothing happens), mental instability, mental spiraling, religious talk (Southern Christianity) Pairing: Lorraine Day x Reader (Masterlist) A/N: this is like a little filler, just having fun trying out something different. Don't worry, there's still a giant chapter left! Also? When Lorraine signs the letters to you, she puts a little heart over the i <3
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June 15th
I thought you said you’d always be waiting. But I come home to hear from your momma that you’re on a vacation with Roy? Why didn’t you tell me before I left? I would have given you a proper goodbye.
It’s probably a good idea, though. Roy could definitely use the break and I’m sure you can too. I know the past few weeks have been… rough. I’m sorry. I didn't know it was going to happen. But we can talk more about things when you get back. For now, make sure you have some fun, okay?
Your momma said y’all went out West. If you could write me back and let me know where, maybe I can meet up with you. We can have a proper vacation for once. Do y’all have any real plans, or are you just traveling? I’m sure either one will do the job. You always did want to get out of town for a bit.
Our shoot went well. Max and Bobby-Lynne asked about you the whole time. It doesn't sit right with me when they're constantly checking up on you. Maybe I'm just jealous. It's probably nothing compared to how you feel. At least they mean well, I suppose. They send you their love. Maxine sent… a little more than love, but I’m not telling you about that.
By the time you get this letter, it shouldn’t be too long before you’re back home. I’ll be here waiting for you, okay? Don’t forget to send me some postcards. And if you find anything cute, don't forget to buy it for me! I'll pay you back, I promise.
I'll see you soon.
Yours, Lorraine
—---
June 29th
Having too much fun?
We all thought you'd both be home by now. The 4th is next week, you know. We never miss the 4th. Daddy said he would cook out this year. He's making your favourite and Beau and Huck got the good fireworks. We can take the truck out and watch the show, just you and me. RJ will be out so we can be free for a bit. That’ll be nice, right? A nice little break. So you better not miss it.
Speaking of, Beau isn’t too happy that you’re not home yet. He’s been doing a lot of pacing and mumbling a bunch of nonsense. I think he’s being a bit dramatic. He’s not happy that you left without letting him know. Said he could have told you a few places to go to be safe. I think he just misses you. We all do.
We haven’t been out to a shoot for a while. I’m glad. It hasn’t been the same since RJ proposed. Nothing has, really. Things just don’t feel the same. There’s guilt in everything I do now, I don’t know how to explain it. I just don’t feel comfortable with anything, even daily chores. Did you ever feel that guilt? The one that sits deep in your belly?
On a brighter note, Jimmy and Liz are back in town. They seem to be doing good. And no, they’re not pregnant, thank God. It’s a modern miracle. They had hoped to see you before the summer is over. Of course they will though, it’s not even July yet, the summer is still young. Besides, I know no vacation is more fun than hanging out with us, right? Even Roy would agree, I know it.
Momma is calling me to dinner now, so I’ll wrap it up. I’ll see you on the 4th, okay?
Yours, Lorraine
—---
July 23rd
Hey darlin, I think it’s about time you came home. You’ve more than missed the 4th, and Lorraine ain’t too happy. It’s the first time you’ve missed a holiday, you know? It ain’t like you. I know this ain’t the happiest place for you right now, but your family is here. We’re all here.
Where’d you go anyhow? You and Roy are homebodies, y’all don’t know anybody out West. If you really wanted a vacation, you could’ve waited for us to get home. We would’ve taken you. I’m sure Lorraine would’ve been happy to go too. We could’ve had a double vacation, you know? Like we always talked about?
Huck and I won our competition the other day. Wish you had been there to cheer us on. We wiped the floor with everybody. Best team ropers in the South, just you wait. You’d best come home for the next one. I’d hate to get too popular for you to notice us, you know?
I’ll keep Lorraine calm and happy, but I really need you to get home, darlin. It’s a bit past time to be concerned. At the very least, send us a letter back. I can handle you being gone for so long if I know where you are. I know this isn’t a happy place, but we’re still worried about you. We can make it a better place again, I promise.
Just send me something back, okay? I’d appreciate it.
Love you, Beau
—---
August 12th
Hon, I really think you need to come home. Lorraine and Beau are losing their minds. No one has heard from you or Roy since you left, and your parents don’t seem worried at all. Your momma seems the slightest bit concerned, but your daddy isn’t. Everyone is just acting weird, so you need to come home.
Jim and Liz left for seminary again last week. They were mighty upset they didn’t get to see you before they left. It’s been about since Christmas since y’all were together, right? They miss you both. Y’all are family. Maybe try to write him while y’all are gone, I’ll write his address at the bottom in case you don’t remember.
If I have to listen to Beau and Lorraine ask where you are one more time, I’m going to lose my mind. You know neither one of them knows how to be patient or think logically. They have a single bad thought and run with it. I need you here to help me calm them down, because you’re fine, just taking a break from everything.
No one blames you for taking a break. After everything… it’s the least you deserve. I’m not supposed to tell you this, but Lorraine asked the other night if this is her fault. I told her it wasn’t. We all know that girl loves you to the moon and back. And we all know you love her back. Things can be worked out, but you’ve got to come back home first, okay?
After all this, you had better be having the time of your life, darling. I’m going to assume as much since you’re not answering anybody. Hey, if you can’t write back, can you at least give us a number to try and call you at? Beau said he’d pay any long-distance charges, he just wants to make sure you’re okay.
He’s playing the part of a dutiful boyfriend, you know. Everyone thinks it’s romantic. I know he’s just worried about you, but it’s weird to hear everyone giving him their sympathies. Is this how you feel when everyone talks to Lorraine about RJ? Like you’re in second place in a race you hadn’t wanted to compete in? Because if so, then I think I understand you a bit. It’s… not a nice feeling.
Ah, I won’t get sentimental. We can talk more when you get home. I think I understand you a little better. That’s kinda sad, isn’t it? Took you leaving for me to get a better grip on your feelings? Well, just come home soon so we can talk. As I’ve made clear, Beau and Lorraine miss you. But I miss you too, darling. Enjoy your trip, but please come home soon safe and sound.
With love, Huck
—---
October 9th
This ain’t funny anymore, you know. It ain’t funny, and you need to get home now. You can quit ignoring all our letters, we get it. You’re hurt, you’re upset, you wanna teach us a lesson or somethin. We get it, we understand, just come home.
Lorraine is losing her gotdamn mind, and quite frankly I am too. No one’s heard a peep from you or Roy. You didn’t even like the West, you had always said it was too different. Never liked how they did their food either. So why would you even go out that way anyway?
You’re probably out drinking those fancy beers they try to peddle up there. They’re not as good as ours and you know it. Or you’re out doing those stupid hikes that you never cared for, getting more blisters on your heels because you don’t even like walks. There’s nothing good out there and you need to come back.
You should’ve left us a note before you left. That ain’t like you, you know. You always let us know where you’re going. You couldn’t even go to church camp back in the day without leaving a personalised letter for each of us. But now you just up and leave in the middle of the night? No warning? That ain’t right and you know it.
People keep asking me where you are and I don’t have any more answers. I can only say “she’s on vacation” so many times before people realise it’s a lie. And it is, isn’t it? It’s a lie. You’re not on some damn vacation. If you ran off, just let me know. I’ll leave you alone as long as I know you’re safe.
Did we make you that miserable? Was being around us so awful that you had to leave? You could’ve told us first. We could’ve come up with a plan, something that wouldn’t hurt you so bad. I don’t know what we could’ve done, but we could’ve tried something. Anything at all.
I need you to answer my letters, honey. I really need you to let me know you’re safe.
Please be safe.
Love you, Beau
—---
December 17th
You missed Halloween. And Thanksgiving. Are you going to miss Christmas too? And New Year's Eve? Am I going to have to jump into the new year without you? Please let me know if I am, because I need to be prepared. I’ve spent holiday after holiday waiting for you to come back, for you to spend it with me again. I get my hopes up every single time just for you to not be there.
RJ keeps asking me what’s wrong, and I’m honest with him. I miss you. I miss you so badly my chest aches. But he doesn’t understand. He thinks I just miss my best friend. And I do, you’ve always been my best friend. But you’re so much more than that, and I can’t explain it to him until you get back because I need someone to hold on to while you’re gone. When are you coming back?
Are you waiting for an apology? Because I’ll give you one, I’ll give you as many as you want. I’m sorry about RJ. I’m sorry about the proposal and that I didn’t say no. I’m sorry about Mr. Dylan, he never should’ve touched you. I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye properly. I’m sorry I avoided you after the proposal, I was just scared and didn’t know what to do.
I’ll say sorry for anything you want or need. Just please answer me. Please come home. I don’t want anything else for Christmas, I don’t want any other miracle, I just want you. Please come home.
I miss you.
Yours, Lorraine
—---
January 24th
We searched Roy’s room and found all his guns gone.
I’m done asking, darling, you need to call us or send us a letter. Now. Now, I don’t believe Roy would do anything to you, but your daddy is on a kick about how unstable he was. How he’s still sick from the devil and all that nonsense he would always preach. I know he wouldn’t touch a hair on your head, but I really need you to answer me.
Lorraine has been losing her patience with RJ. She yelled at him the other day just because he tried to hold her hand. Told him not to touch her. It was quite the show. And it’s going to get her in trouble. She needs you, you know? You’re not the only one who has to hide.
I’m sorry, but I went through your room. It’s been long enough, your momma practically gave me the go ahead. You didn’t take any of your letters from Lorraine. Did you mean to leave them? I hope you didn’t. I hope it was an accident, and you didn’t mean to leave us behind.
Beau has a letter for you too, but he’s not done with it. I don’t know how to help him. He’s got himself convinced he should’ve done more. I don’t know what he should have done. I don’t know what he could have done differently. Did you want him to propose? The three of us could’ve moved off somewhere, you know. We could’ve made it work if it’s what you wanted.
Everyone wants you home. They need you to come home. No one is complete without you, it’s like a big part of town is missing. Stevie from the bar finally pulled me aside and asked about you last weekend. I couldn’t even give him an answer. He said he’d pray for you. Said he’d keep a shot of the good stuff saved for when you get back.
Fuck it. I miss you too. You’re one of my very best friends, hon. You’re the one who’s been with me through everything. Hell, you introduced me to Beau. You’re the only one I can truly talk to about things. I need you home too, okay? You’re part of my home, so I need you to come back.
I need you to write back.
With love, Huck
—---
January 30th
You’re an absolute bastard. You know that? You’re a fuckin bastard. A vacation? Give me a fuckin break, you didn’t go on no gotdamn vacation. Where’d you go, huh? Somewhere we’d never find you? Did Roy convince you to leave? He probably did, the prick. Ain’t no way you would’ve left on your own, you’re not stupid.
What the hell were you thinkin? Just up and leavin like it ain’t nobody’s business. Well it’s my business. It’s my fucking business and you should’ve told me. You’re supposed to be my girlfriend. I don’t care that we’re pretendin, I still fuckin care about you and you just fuckin left? Did I mean that little to you?
We had a pretty great thing goin, you didn’t have to leave and ruin it. I don’t care that it was a lie, we were happy. I still had Huck, and you still had Lorraine, and we were happy. You didn’t have to pack your bags and leave like a thief in the night to, what, prove a point? Well I get it now, you weren’t as happy as I thought. You could’ve told me instead of doin all of this.
You’d better answer the gotdamn letter this time. I ain’t playin around anymore. You better answer the letter and get your ass home. And if Roy is readin this, then you better get her home. You’d better have kept your gotdamn hands and your guns away, and you better get her home. Now.
Beau
—---
February 15th
Hey, momma said I should try to send you something. She said you might answer me since I’m your baby brother. Are you and Roy okay? I don’t care what Pap says, I know y’all aren’t dumb, y’all didn’t go do something stupid. Roy probably just grabbed his guns to keep you safe. He’s not crazy.
Gramma came down with something nasty. The doctors think it’s pneumonia, but we’re still waiting for tests to come back. You both should probably get back just in case it’s bad. She misses you. She prays for you both twice a day. It’s really sweet, she just wants you both safe.
Seminary has been alright. Boring. You would’ve liked it more. Heck, you would’ve been better at it. No one knows the bible quite like you, I don’t care what Pap says. If any one of us should’ve gone off to study, it should’ve been you. Maybe once he sees how bad at it I am, he’ll change his mind. Think so? Probably not.
I’m waiting to propose to Liz until you both get back. I’ve got it all planned out and everything, even bought a ring. You’d like it, I think. But I can’t get married without my big siblings, right? Don’t worry, I can be patient. Y’all just get home safe and sound, you hear?
We love you. The both of you. We’ll see you soon.
Jimmy
—---
February 18th
Your Gramma passed away today. The funeral is in two weeks. That should be more than enough time for you to get back.
We’ll see you soon, love.
With love, Huck
—---
March 4th
Your Gramma’s funeral was today. You weren’t there. Why weren’t you there? You meant the world to her. She meant the world to you. You were the one she wanted to see, and you weren’t even there to see her buried.
She would have wanted you to be here.
Yours, Lorraine
—---
April 4th
A police report came in that they found two bodies in the river a few hours away from here. The bodies are decomposed too much to make identifications. I swear to god, hon, it better not be you. I know things were hard. For the both of you. But you didn’t have to go and do that.
It better not be you.
With love, Huck
—---
May 26th
Your daddy practically declared you both dead at church this morning. I guess after almost a year, he’s tired of worrying about it. He was never a patient man. I don’t think anyone really believed him, but who’s going to argue with their preacher? No one in this town, that’s for sure. Momma and daddy said you’re probably fine, just got sick of your daddy. No one would blame you if that were the case.
After church, Mr. Dylan told your daddy you and Roy had tried to kill him the night you left. If that were true, I don’t know why he didn’t bring it up when everyone was asking where you were. Don’t know why he saved it for now, but he did. Said you had both tried to kill him in the church.
He told your daddy you were a queer. Said you were a queer and you were going to infect the town with your sin. Huck hit him. Square on the jaw, knocked him out cold. I had thought it would be Beau. I hope he gave Mr. Dylan a concussion.
Did he really find out? Because I didn’t tell anybody, I swear. We always kept things a secret. At least I think we did. No one was ever around that didn’t already know. I know none of my crew told, they wouldn’t dare. I promise I didn’t tell anyone.
Momma asked me this evening if you really were queer. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what her reaction would be. She has always loved you, I didn’t want her to think any less of you because of what Mr. Dylan said. Daddy said we shouldn’t talk about it while you’re not here. Said it wasn’t right to talk behind your back. I don’t want them to hate you.
I won’t ever let them hate you.
Yours, Lorraine
—---
June 1st
I hate you. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, I hate you. I hate you, and I hate Roy, and I hate this fuckin town and everyone in it.
You were supposed to be here, gotdammit. You were supposed to be here, and we were all supposed to grow old together. What the fuck were you thinkin? Don’t you know how much you’ve hurt me? Don’t you understand? We might not have been in love, but that didn’t mean I didn’t love you. I loved you, and you went and broke my heart like this?
We were all supposed to be together, you know. No matter what, remember? I thought you were my Huckleberry. Well what are you now, huh? A coward. You’re a fuckin coward. What, times get hard so you leave? You just pack your shit and leave with your crazy fuckin brother?
What were we to you? Were we just a means to an end? Nothing more than a toy for you to play with? Cause you were never that to me. You were never anything less than my best friend, the only girl I ever loved. And you just fuckin left me. Was I not good enough for you?
If that’s how you feel, then good fuckin riddance. Stay away. We don’t want you back in this town anyway. Go stay with your new fuckin friends that won’t ever fuckin know you or care about you the way we do. No one is ever gonna understand you like we do.
Don’t even bother comin back.
Beau
—---
June 2nd
Please come back. I can’t do this without you.
Beau
—---
June 4th
I broke off the engagement today. It’s all just too much. I can’t even stand looking at him anymore. Every time he looks at me makes my skin crawl. I can’t even stand being in the same room with him anymore. Each time he touches me makes me feel like a piece of my soul dies.
Did I do this to you? Did I push you to leave? If I did, I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. If I had been smarter, I would’ve suggested dating Huck instead. Then none of this ever would have happened. The four of us would’ve been together and no one would have ever known. We could’ve been happy.
Were you that unhappy? I never wanted you to hurt. All I ever wanted was you. Every time I had to fake a smile with RJ, or play nice, I always thought about you. I didn’t care about him, he was just a good distraction so no one would know about us. It was stupid. I never should’ve been afraid of how I felt.
I need you to come home. I need you to come home and tell me everything will be okay. Nothing feels the same without you. Foods don’t taste good, the sun isn’t as bright, nothing is fun. Most days I don’t even want to get out of bed anymore. I would rather rot away than go another day without you.
I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for everything. I’ll take everything back, I’ll tell the whole world that I love you. I’ll hold your hand at the store. I’ll sit in your lap at the bar, and pull you to dance with me. I’ll do whatever you want, whenever you want. I just want you back. I need you back.
I love you. You’re my home. I need you here with me.
Please come back to me.
Yours, Lorraine
—---
July 1st
You took my heart with you, you know. No one else is ever going to have it. Please keep it safe.
Yours, Lorraine
—---
The bonfire was hot against Lorraine’s skin. Far too hot. Combined with the sweltering summer heat, it was painful. She didn’t care. Painful at least felt like something. It felt like something real, something she could focus on. Almost as real as the pile of letters in her hands, all stamped with the same thing on the front in red.
Return to sender.
“I’m sorry,” Max said softly. Her hand was surprisingly cool against Lorraine’s upper arm.
On the other side of the fire, off in the distance, she could hear Beau yelling. Drunken, incoherent rambling that no one could really understand. Huck had given up on trying to console him. After all, how could he console him about something that they couldn’t fix? What would be the point?
Another beer bottle shattered against the hard ground.
You were supposed to come back. You were supposed to be there waiting for Lorraine when she got back from filming. Then you were both going to talk, and you were going to come up with a plan to get out of the engagement, and then everyone was going to be happy. Maybe you could’ve gone out East for real, like the four of you had always talked about.
The letters in her hand felt like lead.
“Do you want us to give you a minute?” Bobby-Lynne asked. She squeezed Lorraine’s shoulders. It was comforting. Grounding.
“No,” Lorraine said softly. “It wouldn’t matter anyway.”
The letters were the last connection she had to you. Your daddy had quickly emptied out yours and Roy’s rooms, labeling you both as sinners and traitors. She had been lucky enough to grab your hat before he had thrown everything out. It sat comfortably on her head right at that moment.
Her last remnants of you.
No tears came as she held the letters over the fire. The flames licked the skin of her damaged fingers. She knew, logically, it should have hurt. It didn’t. Maybe, if she kept her hand there long enough, you would appear and pull her back. You would scold her for doing something dangerous, and then you could both go to bed.
That’s all she wanted. She just wanted to go to bed.
Her fingers pried themselves away from the letters, and she watched them fall onto the bonfire. One by one they caught a spark, turning a dark brown and curling around the edges before igniting. She could see the different handwriting on each page. Beau, Huck, Jimmy. Her own. All filling the pages with their thoughts, their concerns, their feelings. Things they would never dare tell each other.
She watched the fire until the very last letter burned. Your name faded away into the orange flame. You faded away into nothing, and when your name was no longer legible, Lorraine felt her own heart go with it. There was a space shaped exactly like you within her chest. No one would ever fill it, and she didn’t want them to.
You were her heart and soul. Her home.
She would never find anyone else for as long as she lived. And then, she would find you in death.
She would find you in every lifetime. No matter how long it took.
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alex69rockwell · 4 months ago
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Uhmm yeah.....Last year I saw Grunge playlists of @arayashikiii and @upon-lavender-hills (whom I certainly want to thank for inspiring me to create this) and I've been thinking about creating my own ever since, BUT! I must warn you'all that there are quite a lot of dubious songs that I associate with "So much to say" fanfiction, there are also a few songs that are suitable only for Runge or only for Grimmer. Below I will mark who and which song belongs to!!!
GRUNGE
• Nonpareil of Favor - of Montreal
"My lover, I've been donating
Time to review
All the misinterpretations
That define me and you
I'm thinking about you
In my secret language
Because I know you're the only one
Who can help me take it easy
------------
It's like you were always there
Just on the tip of my tongue
And I needed you to happen, yeah
And now that you've happened
And it really, really, really came true
I feel like I ought to thank somebody
So I'm gonna thank you, thank you
Thank you, thank you
Thank you, thank you"
youtube
• Motion Sickness - Phoebe Bridgers
"I hate you for what you did
And I miss you like a little kid
I faked it every time, but that's alright
I can hardly feel anything, I hardly feel anything at all
You gave me fifteen hundred to see your hypnotherapist
I only went one time, you let it slide
Fell on hard times a year ago
Was hoping you would let it go and you did
I have emotional motion sickness
Somebody roll the windows down
There are no words in the English language
I could scream to drown you out
I'm on the outside lookin' through
You're throwin' rocks around your room
And while you're bleeding on your back in the glass
I'll be glad that I made it out
And sorry that it all went down like it did"
youtube
• Strfkr - Rawnald Gregory
"All my life, there you go
Oh please stay, just this once
Anyway
All my life, there they go
Oh please stay, for the night
Anyway
All my life, there you go
Oh please stay, just this once
Anyway
All my life, there they go
Oh please stay, for the night
Anyway"
youtube
• Stars - Your Ex-Lover is Dead
"God, that was strange to see you again
Introduced by a friend of a friend
Smiled and said, "Yes, I think we've met before"
In that instant it started to pour
-----------
It's nothing but time and a face that you lose
I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose
I'll write you a postcard
I'll send you the news
From the house down the road from real love
------------
There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save"
youtube
• Connor spiotto - The villain I appear to be
(I just REALLY love this song, I think it's silly and match Grunge so well)
"Sometimes when I
Wanna run away and hide
When there's no one on my side
And all my pride had disappeared
I take it off my mind
And leave it all behind
Nothin' left to do but
Try to take the leap and follow through
And that's exactly what I'll do
I know to you I don't seem very strong
But, I assure you, before you can find me, I'm gone
So come on and catch me; you've still got a chance
But not for long
I'll be rollin' place to place
Won't stop till I win the race
Although I may have crossed the line
No time to waste on you
I don't plan on slowing
Down; no, I'll keep on going
Even if you think I'm in the wrong
Just know that
Although I may not think everything through
I don't take back what I say or regret what I do
I know that some stay in line and they stick to the plan
But if you leave it to me, I'll do whatever I can 'cause
I know that's what I'm here for
I don't wanna wait around anymore
Even if you can't see
The good inside me
I don't have the time to tell you
Why I do the things that I do
Just please hold on and soon you'll see
That I'm not the villain I appear to be
Movin' along; no, I won't settle down
Until I'm locked behind bars or I'm kicked outta town
So you can keep on a-runnin' around and around
But you will never quite catch up to me!
And I know you think I'm crazy
But I hope that maybe
Now you'll see why
I had to try!"
youtube
• Max Raabe - Ein Tag wie Gold
(This song is also just silly and gorgeous ,BUT IT'S IN GERMAN!!! and I also just think it fits them, sssooooo!!!!!)
"Ein Tag wie Gold
In den Adern hunderttausend Volt
Eine Nacht, wie Samt und Seide
Ein Tag wie Gold
Ihr habt doch alles, was ihr wollt
Eine Nacht, schöner kann es nicht sein
Zwei Schritt' nach links
Zwei zurück, dann nach vorn
Jetzt oder nie
Wir sind zum Tanzen geboren
Alles bebt, alles lebt
Hak dich ein
Kann es sein, dass wir verrückt sind?
Ein Tag wie Gold
In den Adern hunderttausend Volt
Eine Nacht, wie Samt und Seide
Leben, ist es nur ein Traum?
Schön wär's, ich glaube kaum
Dass es wahr ist
Pass auf, weil man sehr leicht vergisst
Nichts bleibt, wie es ist
Ohhh
Grüße nach Moskau, Paris, und nach Wien
Wir winken euch zu
Alles kommt nach Berlin
Alles schrill, jeder will, allen war immer klar, dass wir verrückt sind
Ein Tag wie Gold
Was übrig bleibt, das wird verzollt
Ein Schimmern
Denn was kümmern mich Bilanzen
Lass uns Tanzen!"
youtube
• Tally Hall - Hidden in the Sand
"
-------------
When you had to bid adieu (ooh, ooh, ooh)
Said you'd never love anew (ooh, ooh, ooh)
I wondered if I could hold it
And fall in love with it too
You told me to buy a pony
But all I wanted was you
-------------
"
youtube
• They Might Be Giants - Too Tall Girl
( Silliness kicked in )
"Fall in love with a too-tall girl
Deleterious and delerious
Fall in love with a too-tall girl
With her magazine
Dressed in aubergine
Too-tall girl can see
Past the rooftops and the trees
Too-tall girl can see
Past the crosstown mall and towny sprawl"
youtube
And now, it's only Runge
• Lemon Demon - I Earn My Life
"I'll quit my job the day I die
I'll quit my job the day I die
I break my back and never cry
I break my back and never cry
I'm losing all my hair, losing all my hair
I'm losing all my hair because a man provides
I'm standing on a chair, standing on a chair
I'm standing on a chair because I earn my life
I earn my life, I earn my life
I learned it from my father and tell it to my wife
Jesus Christ, don't tell me not to hurry
I wouldn't be so worried if I wasn't always right
While you're asleep I'm terrified
While you're asleep I'm terrified
I see the end before my eyes
I see the end before my eyes
A marker on a grave, marker on a grave
Marker on a grave and I know I'm the one who died
And underneath the name, underneath the name
Underneath my name it says, "He Earned His Life"
I earn my life, I earn my life
I learned it from my father my father never lied
Jesus Christ, better learn how to forage
Utilities and mortgage are all that will survive"
youtube
Only Grimmer
• That Handsome Devil - Charlie's Inferno
"You can run from your demons until you are exhausted
One day, you will have to stop and find out what they wanted
Keep on running from those demons 'til you are exhausted
You can run to those angels until you are exhausted
One day, you will have to stop and question what they wanted
Keep on running to those angels 'til you are exhausted
"Excuse me, sir! (I don't)
There must be someone you've confused me for (want to)
If I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform (die)
I really don't belong here (please don't)
I know you've heard the tune before! (Let me die)"
youtube
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junosswans · 9 months ago
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I wanted to make postcards with new art, but my progress was SO BEHIND so I ended up polishing a 95% finished one and took this to print instead. Fortunately this piece turned out really good and I love it a lot 🥺♥️
it has all my favourite elements, Taisho era, sakuras, Roy being a meanie..... And I'm honestly quite satisfied with the outcome 🌸💖
Printed version ⬇️
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A bunch of technical issues happened at the printing shop that I went to, so I accidentally ended up with wayyyyyyyy more copies than I meant to order.... And got a few XL sized ones even (because of formatting error).....I have no idea what to do with them lmao
Regardless, I'm quite glad that I took the drawing to print and it makes me giddy looking at the prints. The last time I printed anything was like, 6 years ago and it was rather embarrassing cbjskcmzmxm
Mutuals, if you want one please feel free to DM me!! ♥️ I'll be very happy to send you one.
Mutuals who aren't into RoyEd, I do plan to draw and print another two or three pieces (1 AlMei and 1 EdWin, still considering the last one, maybe RizaLust?) so please look forward to that too 🥹♥️
I might sell the remaining at a con or online, but tbh I don't think many ppl will be interested 😂
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inklessletter · 2 years ago
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Is it chill that you're in my head ('cause I know that it's delicate)
Read it on Ao3
Steve Harrington has a lot to be thankful for, and he owes his friends almost everything he is at the age of nineteen. He has learnt about humility, self-criticism, tolerance and kindness. He's the best version of himself so far. He has rebuilt himself a few times now thanks to his friends, and there's nothing he can do to express his gratitude but to be as attentive as humanly possible. He doesn't wait for Dustin to ask him to take him to whatever nerdy camp he's going that summer when he's offering to take him across the state; he doesn't expect Lucas to give him a ticket for his next game because he's already bought one; he's front row at any gig of Robin's band; he's at The Hideout on Tuesdays to see Eddie; he shows up to Max's almost daily to help her with her recovery exercises; he offers his place to whatever event, doesn't matter if it's a Hellfire occasional session or Erica's unicorn theme birthday party. It. Doesn't. Matter. Whatever they want, if it's in Steve's power, he'll provide.
And he's happy. He's content with that.
Glad to be of service.
It doesn't really sting that Dustin does not hug him after leaving for three full weeks, or that he doesn't send the postcard he said he'd send. Steve's sure he must have been really busy.
If Lucas glances at him after the game and waves, but doesn't stop to say hello, it's okay. He's been that age, he wants to be with his friends to celebrate.
If after every band concert Robin has this chance to go with Vickie and the others (but especially Vickie) to have a milkshake, he's not going to be upset because good for her. You rock, Robin. She'll tell him all about it later, probably.
If Eddie's bandmates don't like Steve enough to actually spend more than half a beer with him after every concert until Steve makes up an excuse to flee, I mean, maybe he was a jerk to them back in high school. He doesn't remember them, though, but he didn't remember Robin either, so.
If Max only grunts and gets half mad at Steve for forcing her to do her recovery exercises, that's fine, because she's been through so much, she deserves to be cranky. It's not personal.
And if it is not personal the kids not thanking him after the rides, or the parties, or the Hellfire sessions at Steve's (to which he had bought snacks and soft drinks), it makes no sense for Steve to be a little bit hurt. It is not personal, it is not intentional, and Steve owes them so much. They deserve to be spoilt.
It is okay.
It really is.
So, when after one of Eddie's concerts, the metalhead offers Steve to bail and go somewhere else, it's new. Yeah, Steve can do new.
"Are your bandmates going to join us?" Steve asks, beer can in hand, sitting on a bench.
"Nah, I doubt so. We kinda, uh, had a disagreement."
"Yeah? What happened?" Steve jumped in helpful mode way too quickly.
"They were being assholes."
Steve looked away. "Is that so? Were they mean to you?"
"Nop. They were mean to you. So I told them to go fuck themselves."
Steve froze. "You didn't have to do that. I know they don't like me, it's okay. They're not exactly subtle."
"Yeah, Gareth's a bitch when he wants to. And that is, uh, most of the time. And yes, I did have to do that. You've been real supportive showing up to every gig, y'know? I appreciate that. And stayin' after."
And there it was. Steve gulped and the hidden smile faltered when he felt the heavy knot in his throat.
"And so, I realized that we don't spend enough time together. I know it's not ideal I got this conclusion because my friends are absolute jerks, but, yeah. Let's do whatever you want, Steve."
Whatever he wanted?
"Whatever I want?" What the fuck.
"Yeah. What do you do? I mean, apart from being a good friend and stroll around being painfully handsome and shit, what do you do? Do you play a ball game? Read books? Chess? Bowling? If it's any sports, please, remember I wear leather, and I have a reputation to—Steve? You okay, man?"
Steve was far from okay. Steve was listening to Eddie rambling about possible hobbies and Steve was sitting there noticing he almost answered the first question with "I drive the kids around." He was realizing at that moment that he couldn't recall when it was the last time he did something for him. And what was it? He used to have hobbies, didn't he?
He loved swimming, but he hasn't swum in ages. He had intended to take Lucas to play basketball some other time, but Lucas wasn't available. He—well, he liked movies. But he was easygoing, and Robin usually told him that he had to educate him, so he hasn't picked a movie to watch in a very long time.
And those thoughts must have been leaked through Steve's expression, because Eddie was now in front of him looking at him directly.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm—I'm fine. It's just—"
The knot in his throat made it difficult to talk. He was faltering.
"To be fair, I don't have any hobbies."
"Uh-huh."
"I really don't." Steve looked at Eddie, who was gazing back at him with a deeply dramatic expression of incredulity.
"So, you're telling me that all you do is be a good friend and be handsome. I don't buy it."
Steve laughed a bit, and the knot seemed to ease a little, but now his hands were slightly shaking.
"I mean, I used to have hobbies when I was a kid, but not anymore."
"Why?"
"What do you mean 'why'? I'm an adult now, I don't have time!"
"I'm an adult now. I'm literally older than you and I run a D&D club and play in a metal band."
"Well, maybe you organize your schedule better, I don't know."
"Ok, let's say it's a matter of organization. What would you like to do?"
"Are  you serious right now?"
"Yes!"
"Come on—"
"Steve—"
"I don't know! I don't know, okay? I have no clue what I'm into, I—I can't really—I'm just—it's fine if we do whatever you want, Eddie, really."
It wasn't fine. There were a few seconds of silence, but they fell after that in an easy conversation about music, and then they talked about the brats, and then they took another beer. It wasn't bad or awkward, Eddie had the superpower of making interesting any place he was in, but Steve felt uneasy after that conversation.
When he came back home at almost two in the morning, he realized that he didn't know basic stuff about himself, such as what he did like. He didn't recognise himself in the mirror. He got lost somewhere in rebuilding himself; he couldn't even remember who he was, beyond the lingering feeling of shame of his past self.
He cried himself to sleep.
Eddie started showing up unannounced, and Steve found himself enjoying his company. Eddie suggested different shit to do every day. "Let's go to the movies, you pick", "hey, some friends play tonight at a pub, it's not metal, I swear", "I brought these board games, maybe you like them", "wanna go play pool?", and stuff like that. Steve agreed easily to anything Eddie proposed.
He liked Eddie before, but after Steve realized that Eddie was actively trying to find whatever Steve loved, a warm swarm of butterflies settled in Steve's stomach with no intention to leave. It's not like Steve hasn't questioned his sexuality before, especially after knowing Robin's, but this new dynamic with Eddie made it really easy for him to acknowledge that he wasn't fully straight. Eddie made him feel warm, and safe, and cradled, every single time. And that was also absolutely frightening.
That day, Eddie had suggested staying home and baking a chocolate cake. It was the first time Steve actually asked if it was okay to leave the TV on, he wanted to watch the basketball game. While baking, Steve cheerfully told Eddie about the rules, and the strategies, and the teams, and that this was a final. Eddie actively listened, asking for some demonstrations of some things Steve explained, like a dunk, and Steve would use some dough and Eddie's arms in a circle position to actually demonstrate. The kitchen was so messy, it never stood a chance, but Eddie had never seen Steve laugh so freely, so sincerely.
The cake was in the oven, the kitchen smelled so good, and Steve and Eddie were cleaning the absolute disaster they've made. Steve's cheeks were a little pink.
"I'm gonna remember this", Eddie said.
"Hm?"
"This, as in baking and basketball. We should do it again."
Steve bit his smile, and focused on cleaning the countertop. The butterflies in his stomach were rioting.
"There's a game every week, you know."
"It works for me."
The week went agonizingly slow until the next game night. He had considered telling Robin about his feelings, but he wanted to keep it in a little bit longer, a little bit before speaking it out and it becoming real. A thing to deal with.
Just one more date.
The knock in Steve's front door stirred up the butterflies. Eddie was here already, it was game night.
When Steve opened the door there was not only Eddie, but the whole gang.
"Steve! We're baking carrot cake and cheesecake today!" Dustin shouted, lifting a bag with groceries. The kids said hi coming into Steve's house. Some went to the kitchen, some others were looking for the game on the TV. Still in the front door, Eddie smiled at Steve.
"What's going on?"
"See, I was hanging out with the gremlins at Hellfire a few nights ago and I might have told them you were into game night and baking, and they all wanted to come."
Steve was speechless.
"But why?"
Eddie grinned, full heartedly.
"I have the impression that the brats want to be part of your life, too. I might even dare to say they—we love you, Steve", Eddie's voice was low, and his gaze was fully pinned to Steve's eyes.
Steve smiled, shaky.
"Really?"
"Yeah, really," Eddie said.
There were a few seconds of silence, leaning faces, full of smiles and flustered cheeks.
"Come on, Stevie. The game is starting and there are unsupervised kids in a room where they can easily make a fire," Eddie said, closing the door, and taking Steve by the hand towards the kitchen.
Oh, butterflies, have mercy on him.
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all-hallows-street · 9 months ago
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Official All Saints Street Nick/Lynn and Nini/Lily art from the FRZ fan page
I've mentioned the team battle events between the three sister webcomics under the FRZ umbrella, but there is also a Couples/Ship battle between all of them. And as you can guess, Nick/Lynn is the top WSJ ship and now a days gets second and or third place after more popular Fei Ren Zai ships.
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This illustration comes from the 2019 contest where Nick/Lynn got 3rd place. Not an usual WSJ artist, so I am interested on who created this illustration. They might be an illustrator for FRZ or There are Beasts, so if you have any information, please send me a message!
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These tiny illustrations were for the 2020 ship battle where Nick/Lynn got 4th place, Nini/Lily got 6th and surprisingly Ira/Wenwen got 9th!
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So, you might notice I've posted these ones before, but that is because I got them from the twitter account with no context. This is the context: they are from the 2021 Ship battle where Nick/Lynn got 3rd and Nini/Lily got 4th.
Ok, so for 2022 or 2023 I can't find more ship battles. Guess they stopped hosting them. And as a bonus: Here are some Nick/Lynn and Nini/Lily illustrations for Christmas 2022. Again, would love to know who actually made this.
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And as an extra extra bonus, and because we're on a NiLyn and NiLi kick: I found the highest resolution available for the Uniformed illustrations I was looking for. I would still kill for the physical postcards, but man am I glad I found them.
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As mentioned in the tittle, the source for all of this is the FRZ (official) fan page.
Here are the google drive links for the highest resolution:
Updated link for pfp/avatar/icons:
And I'll be posting the last one in Lingzi's art:
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frozenjokes · 8 months ago
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Please For The Love Of Everything Good, MAKE SOME NEW FRIENDS AND LEAVE ME ALONE. With Love, HotGuy <3 (3/3)
prev
Poultry Man was not the type of bird who liked to speak, or even spoke at all. When Poultry Man had something to say, he did so in the form of egg-based political commentary, usually crimes, but not always. Sometimes when he was pissed off, there wasn’t any commentary at all, just chickens. Gotta keep the people guessing, right? Poultry Man liked elaborate schemes, he liked delivering a message, and he liked chickens.
This was not Poultry Man’s first scavenger hunt, nor would it be his last. CuteGuy the villain was dead (among other aliases), but Poultry Man would live on forever, a shining light in this dank city. A golden egg among other, shittier, stupider eggs- whatever, it didn’t matter. Poultry Man was awesome, and Grian felt awesome as he sat at the end of the abandoned road, waiting. He had his postcards ready, simply waiting for HotGuy to arrive. Today was important. Grian would make it count.
Grian ended up waiting a little longer than he thought he would have to, which he probably should have guessed. HotGuy was known to misread and misinterpret basically anything, and it didn’t matter how neat Grian wrote, dyslexia was one son of a bitch.
But HotGuy did eventually arrive, panting and sweaty, and Grian couldn’t help but chuckle imagining him running from place to place and looking for Poultry Man’s hints. Cute, really. HotGuy lit up when he spotted Poultry Man, perched on the roof of a long broken down car, one that had been here for years, no one bothering to haul it off to the dump. Grian smiled, though HotGuy wouldn’t see it under the mask.
“Poultry Man! It’s- I can’t believe I have the chance to finally meet you! Properly, I mean. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you out and about, hasn’t it.. I know CuteGuy was your friend, but I take it you two probably don’t get along much right now.”
Grian shook his head, writing quickly, then tossing the note at HotGuy’s feet. The cardstock was heavy, so it did go a decent distance instead of fluttering pathetically to the ground like normal paper would; Grian had learned that the hard way. Humiliating. Regardless, HotGuy scrambled to pick up the note, reading with wide eyes.
“You’re still friends? Oh, I’m glad! Really, I am. I was a little worried about you, honestly, but I didn’t want to ask just in case the subject was sensitive. CuteGuy and I.. I mean, I’ve been trying, but he just doesn’t like me very much. We don’t really get along, and I just wish I could change his mind. You see, I really like this guy, Cub’s his name, but he and CuteGuy live together, and I just- CuteGuy hates me! He hates that I like Cub, and doesn’t want us to be in any sort of relationship at all, and I just wish I could show him I’m not all that bad, y’know? I mean..” HotGuy trailed off, looking momentarily hopeful, “He told you I wanted to meet with you, right? Was that recently? Did he do that for me?”
Grian considered him for a moment before nodding, and HotGuy just about melted.
“Oh, you have no idea how happy that makes me. And- and that you wanted to meet me in the first place! CuteGuy said you wouldn’t want to, and that you wouldn’t want to talk to me, and I guess you’re not talking, but you’re here, and I’m thrilled! I hope he told you I don’t want to arrest you or hurt you or anything- I don’t know, I got the impression he thought you’d be offended, but with CuteGuy, it’s a little hard to tell. He’s really defensive on your behalf. When I told him I thought he was a good friend for that he tried to beat the shit out of me. Well, he did beat the shit out of me. But that was also for other reasons. It’s complicated. But you don’t look like you want to kill me, and you guys are friends, so maybe you can put in a good word?”
Grian couldn’t suppress the small chuckle that left his throat, and HotGuy seemed to think that was a good sign, perking up, his already large eyes widening. Yeah. Grian could see where Cub was coming from. Having someone like that look at you like this at all hours of the day? Even a heart as icy and dead as his gave a little. He stopped again to write, throwing the postcard to the ground, and HotGuy scurried forward to pick it up.
“Ah- I did get a little distracted, didn’t I? You’re right, you’re right. So- I know you probably won’t answer, but I wanted to ask regardless.. The chickens? The eggs? Where do you get them? And I mean- you probably shouldn’t tell me, full transparency I guess, because I’d probably try to stop you.. Honestly though! I promise it's nothing against you! Well, maybe not nothing- you are committing crimes, but I’m mostly worried about the chickens? The place we bring them to, the sanctuary- they’re happy there! They’re well taken care of and loved. After your.. stunts.. the chickens end up in a good place, and I thought you should know that I care about them. So when I ask, it’s coming from a place of concern for the animals, yeah? I imagine they’re so confused being put in all these random places, having no idea what’s happening or where they’ve ended up.. Wherever you raise them- I’m assuming you raise them- it’s a good place? In our investigation of your activity, we still have no idea where you’re getting them, and I’d just hate to think they’re somewhere underground, unhappy, y’know?”
Grian cocked his head, a visual signal to HotGuy that he was thinking, considering him. That was.. very sweet. Not something Grian would have expected from HotGuy, especially after watching him try to manhandle the chickens Poultry Man had planted, yelling and flailing and generally being far more afraid than should ever be acceptable for someone trying (and failing, miserably) to wrangle chickens. Grian wrote his note, tossing it to the ground.
HotGuy read it aloud this time, “A man after my own heart..” HotGuy trailed off, smiling, and put a hand to his heart as he looked back up. “Of course. That little farm is a great place, Poultry Man, I’m assuming you’ve seen it.” HotGuy paused and Grian nodded, giving a thumbs up to show his approval.
HotGuy looked pleased, continuing, “I just wanted to offer, even though you’ll probably say no.. They would take your chickens, if you wanted to surrender however many you have left. I know it’s mostly eggs with you, and you don’t come around all too frequently, but if you ever decide to give this thing up, or if you can’t care for them anymore, or anything at all, that option is always available for you. Personally, I’d sleep a little easier knowing you weren’t putting live animals in peoples’ houses, but to each their own I guess.”
Grian smiled under the mask, taking a deep breath, “You have nothing to worry about. Well, not the putting chickens in places people don’t want them, I will still be doing that, but the chickens themselves are well taken care of, I can promise you that.”
HotGuy startled at the sound of his voice, jumping to his toes, and Grian couldn’t suppress a laugh, drawing a hand lazily to the beak of his mask as if to try and hide it. Grian was still no good at disguising his voice, so he didn’t bother trying, fastening his hands to the side of his mask and removing it before HotGuy had enough time to process who was actually speaking. HotGuy’s face was worth every anxiety about revealing Poultry Man’s identity.
“Grian!” HotGuy squeaked, a positively delightful sound, “Why are you dressed up as Poultry Man! That- You tricked me! Identity theft is no joke! This is not cool!”
Grian gaped for a moment, mouth opening and closing dumbly, “I- Are you joking.”
“I just told you this is no joke!”
“I am Poultry Man, Scar. HotGuy. Whatever you’re called. I have literally always been Poultry Man.”
“Poultry Man has been around for years!” HotGuy was so genuine, so annoying- Grian was almost offended. Maybe he was offended, actually- What was HotGuy playing at? Was it so impossible to believe he had multiple alter egos?
“Uh, yeah,” Grian finally huffed, rolling his eyes, “So have I.”
“You’re- why?” HotGuy sounded so distressed, so confused, and altogether Grian just couldn’t help but laugh. It was so stupid! He couldn’t stop laughing, arms across his stomach, kicking his feet a bit, talons scratching up the roof of the already beat up car.
“Come on,” Grian wheezed, “Is it really so hard for you to believe?”
“I- Yes! You guys- Poultry Man is noble. Poultry Man is a nuisance, but he has things to say! He has depth. CuteGuy is just a fucking dick!”
“Wow,” Grian drew the world out in fake offense, spreading his wings as he leaned back on the car’s roof, “Maybe you’ve misunderstood Poultry Man all along. Maybe he’s just as evil and uncaring as CuteGuy. They are friends after all, good friends, close.”
“No! CuteGuy was a bad influence on him, that’s all, he just didn’t have many other people to turn to.”
“You know you’re talking about the same person.”
“I- I know that!” HotGuy seethed, like this was quite possibly the most meaningful betrayal he had ever experienced. The little stories he’d made up about Poultry Man, entirely false. It was almost pitiful, really. HotGuy had no idea how to cope, Grian could see it as clearly as the conflict in his face.
“Oh, you poor thing,” Grian crooned, sitting up to rest his elbows on his knees, head in his hands, “Did you like him? Look up to him, even? And all this time you had no idea it was all just lil ol’ me.”
“I didn’t- I don’t look up to Poultry Man. I thought I could help him. I wanted to help him. I don’t- I still don’t think he’s a bad guy!”
“Nothing like CuteGuy, cold and sharp and mean, no, no,” Grian teased, “Denial is a funny thing, isn’t it?”
“I am serious! It doesn’t matter if Poultry Man and CuteGuy and Grian are all technically the same body, you are not the same people, just like HotGuy and civilian HotGuy are not the same.”
“Uh, pretty sure that’s not true, bud. That’s all just Grian, along with every other pseudonym I’ve held over the years.”
“What- really?” HotGuy stopped short, like this was completely foreign to him, “They’re all the same to you? Wait a minute, there’s more? Is every avian supervillain in this city just you? How many alter egos do you have!?” HotGuy puffed up, and Grian snickered.
“I am so glad you asked! My biggest escapade was probably the whole Mooners cult with Mumbo- do you remember? He was the head of course, but I was his faceless right hand man-“
“You know Mumbo?”
“We are roommates in college. I haven’t talked to him in a while though, and given the ‘retirement,’ I’m assuming he probably wouldn’t want to catch up regardless.”
HotGuy groaned loudly into his hands, “The Mooners were so annoying! Do you even know how much damage you two caused with that? People don’t function right when they don’t sleep!”
“Oh, it was a trip. It was awesome. And don’t think I don’t remember you attending our first couple meetings.”
“Yeah, when I thought it was a fun sleepover event thing- no one sleeps during sleepovers, everyone knows that! You guys were weird and crazy and everyone was partying- it was awesome.”
“Uh huh, and you drew quite a bit of attention to us, thanks for that.”
HotGuy groaned again into his hands and Grian snickered from his perch, pleased.
“Less successful was The Entity, but that was still quite a bit of fun. That massive rock I found just outside of town? It was a cool rock. And suddenly, I’m a prophet! People love a good Horror, and boy did I deliver. Flesh and guts and a horrifying puppet of a man, me. I bet I could have gained a bigger following, but I got bored. Still though, I think my favorite stunt I’ve ever pulled off was blowing up the whole thing and disappearing without a trace. I’m not going to tell you how I got my claws on dynamite, but that whole thing was fucking awesome. In the middle of the night, the whole rock, gone. And after- everyone wanted to know! What happened to The Entity? To its prophet? People were feeling like they missed out, like they wished they could have been there before it all exploded. Maybe it didn’t matter how big the cult was in the first place, but how it will be remembered. You like making history, don’t you, HotGuy?”
“Oh my god.”
“Good story, huh?”
“I just can’t believe that was you. How many costumes do you have? Wasn’t that one like- awfully gorey, right? And you just sat out there covered in- I don’t even want to know.”
Grian preened, incredibly pleased. “It was gross. Cub knows about that one actually, only because I disappeared for like a month. Brought me food when I needed it, though, most of the time I was fine.”
HotGuy sighed, drawing his hands over his face. “Anything else?” He didn’t look particularly like he wanted to know, and Grian’s wings fluttered, deeply content.
“Nothing huge. A long time ago, years actually, I convinced a couple of people they were being haunted by salmon. Pretty funny. I actually brought that back recently, I just tormented this one guy- thought he was cursed by the ocean, it was great. Didn’t make headlines, but sometimes that’s not what matters in life.”
“You are- you’re fucking evil. Recently? When have you even had the time!?”
Grian cackled, trailing off into a snicker, “I make the time. I was also unemployed.”
“Ah. I guess that explains it..” HotGuy sighed, frowning gently, something distinctly distant. Honestly, it didn’t look like he was thinking about Grian at all, which was a little annoying; he’d just confessed to being like five different criminals, if not legal crimes, then surely social ones, and HotGuy didn’t even look like he cared! (And listen, Grian wasn’t some kind of whore for attention, but a little recognition would be nice, yeah? Yeah.) But HotGuy did look back up, some kind of quiet despondency behind those eyes. “And it doesn’t bother you?”
“What? Being a public nuisance? That doesn’t bother me at all.”
“No, your identities I mean. It’s all just.. Grian? Not any more complicated than that?”
“I don’t understand.”
“I feel like I’m lying under every name I take.”
Grian shrugged, “You are, aren’t you? So am I. Elaborate lies, kinda, all under one central person. I like to dress up and play pretend and cause problems, just like basically everyone else in this godforsaken city. We aren’t special.”
But HotGuy didn’t look satisfied, eyebrows knitting impossibly tight, “I don’t have a central person. I’m not anyone.”
“Your civilian identity?”
“He’s not real either.” HotGuy looked at his feet, and Grian didn’t really know what to do with that, nor did he understand.
“Oh. That’s wild.”
HotGuy made a bit of a strangled noise before squeaking out a small “Yeah?” He fiddled with his hands for a moment, pulling at the fabric of his gloves, “I don’t know, I didn’t realize.. How did you do that? Not feel.. lost.”
Grian’s lip curled, the question invoking a similar reaction as when he would open the fridge to the smell of something rotting, “I can not even begin to tell you how unqualified I am to talk to you about anything at all. That’s a problem for you and your therapist, pal.”
HotGuy looked briefly indignant at that, then deflated, a more unhappy look crossing his face. “I don’t have a therapist.”
“What? Why not?” Grian sat up, just about as genuinely surprised as someone could be at a confession like that. A lot of things he learned about HotGuy made very little sense, but that just may have been the biggest surprise yet.
“What kind of question is that?”
“A pretty straightforward one I think. There’s no way you’re not all sorts of fucked up, not with the sort of bodily trauma you’ve been through and the job you’re currently holding. And you’ve got, like, infinite money. And you never shut up. Why not pay someone to listen to you.”
“I am not ‘all sorts of fucked up,’” HotGuy scoffed, “I am fine. And I don’t have infinite money, geez. I don’t need a therapist.”
“You say that like you’ve got something against therapy. So you’re one of those guys. Ick.”
“I’m not- no, I am not ‘ick.’ I think therapy is great! Therapists help lots of people, probably just as many as I do, I’d say. They’re the real heroes, yeah?”
Grian rolled his eyes, throwing his head back in a sarcastically languid movement, “Oh, let me guess. You’re the type of person who encourages people to go and see a therapist, but when the same thing is said to you, you say something like ‘Ah, no, therapy just isn’t for me.’ Am I right? You don’t need to tell me, I know I’m right.”
“You are not- Listen! It’s just something that doesn’t work for me, okay? Nothing about that is appealing to me.”
“Have you ever tried it?”
Hotguy pursed his lips, defiant. “..No.”
Grian had to laugh, his voice losing its edge in favor of something more genuine, “Dude, you’d probably love it. I’m serious. You’d go crazy for therapy. I mean, it’s hard work sometimes, and it can be a little bit trying, but then you start hating yourself a little less, and if you’re not in the mood one week, there’s still a very nice lady across from you who you can just talk to about whatever you want! I can’t watch The Bachelor anymore, it’s bad for me, and also bad for Cub, but my therapy sessions have never been more derailed. Good times. Fun! Sometimes it feels like therapists don’t know a single thing about anything that isn’t, like, mental health- I swear I’ve explained things to her I was convinced were common knowledge like- a lot. It happens a lot.”
“You don’t.. You just talk about whatever you want?”
“Yeah! Honestly, for the first couple weeks, I don’t think I talked about myself more than three or four times and I was going twice a week. It’s not uncommon. If you want, I can give you the name of the clinic I go to. I like the people there.”
“I.. I don’t know. I don’t really have the time, and I can talk to anyone about anything if I wanted to for free. I don’t know. And my issues are like- pretty intertwined with my identities, which I can’t really talk about.”
“Sure you can. It’s all confidential unless you’re hurting yourself or others, basically. Like, legally confidential. You can tell all you want about your different identities and your therapist can’t say a thing. I don’t tell about my alter egos for obvious reasons, but that’s not where my issues stem from anyway. But lately, I have been dipping my toes into talking about the superhero business, mostly because it’s pretty relevant to the things I’ve been feeling lately.”
“You talk about me?” An innocent question, one that Grian couldn’t help but laugh sharply at.
“Uh, yeah. You come up. We got a little off track for a minute there, but that’s kind of why I’m here in the chicken costume. I’m about to knock your socks off in a minute, seriously. Eugh. I don’t even want to say it. Makes me a little sick to my stomach, honestly, but I brought you all the way out here and revealed basically every misdeed I’ve ever committed to you, so. Surely this won’t be as hard..” Grian trailed off for a moment, pursing his lips, “No. This is harder. This is so much harder.”
HotGuy threw him an apprehensive smile, shrugging, “You’re making me nervous, here. I’m not actually wearing any socks, but for the sake of this I’ll pretend.” HotGuy ran a hand through his hair, and Grian couldn’t suppress a small chuckle when tiny amounts of glitter floated down.
“Well, HotGuy, I haven’t been very nice to you.”
HotGuy’s eyes jumped up, his attention sufficiently grabbed. He looked awkward then, the hand returning to his hair. “I.. think I would agree..” He took a quick breath, like he was unsure if that was the right thing to say.
Grian gritted his teeth, then let go, breathing deeply, “I want to change that.”
“Oh!” HotGuy threw his hands up in front of his chest, an unfairly endearing reaction of surprise, his eyes as wide as saucers, “I-I mean- You don’t have to-”
Grian threw his head back in a loud cackle, “Seriously?”
“No! No I didn’t mean that. Sorry- I didn’t know how to react to that. That. This is new for me. Did you stop disliking me? Don’t answer that. I’m confused. I don’t understand. I would like very much if you were nice to me. Well. Nicer. You don’t even have to be nice, but it would be cool if you acted like you hated me a little less.”
Grian waved a hand, silencing the nonsense blabber from a very embarrassed looking HotGuy. “I’ve been treating you unfairly, and it has very little to do with you as a person. You’ll never hear me repeat this, and if you ask anyone I’ll deny it, but I don’t think you’re actually a shitty guy. You’re an alright guy, maybe even less bad than I thought you were before we met properly. Maybe even better than most superheroes, but the bar is low, okay, don’t let that get to your head.” Grian took a breath, and HotGuy just stared, stunned, so when he didn’t say anything, Grian went on.
“Jealousy is a tame word I think. Envy doesn’t feel right either. I was.. deeply, viscerally angry, in all the physically animal ways I can not even begin to describe to you. And that’s not.. gone. It won’t leave, it’s just a part of me and I have to find a way to cope with it that’s not being a massive prick to you and Cub, but mostly you. Because you made a move on him before I even understood what I was feeling, feelings I had never considered before because I had never been afraid of losing him like that. I never had a reason to be so possessive before, because I was the only person.. I don’t know. But I think you understand. I’ve been in love, and didn’t really recognize it because neither of us really had anyone else to love, right?”
HotGuy opened his mouth to speak, but Grian cut him off with a shake of his head, “Don’t. Not yet. I’m not done. Yesterday morning I made this decision, that I was going to take him out and try to win him back, yeah? Delusional things, and I knew just as much, but I couldn’t fight it, I couldn’t let it go, and then yesterday afternoon, it kind of just.. hit me. I don’t want to ‘win him back’ from anyone, or anything like that. I just wanted things to go back to the way they were, selfishly, when we were both lonelier, unhappier people. And then I realized, hey, wait a minute, there’s something I want more than that, more than anything I could ever want for myself. I want Cub to be happy. I want him to step out of his shell, date superheroes, maybe even get his heart broken, as long as he’s living, y’know? And I want to live too, I want to put myself out there and meet people and try things I can’t do when I’m at home. Things I couldn’t do before, when it was just me and Cub, kind of miserable and kind of lonely, just stagnating, y’know?”
“You’re saying a lot of words, Grian, and I’m not understanding most of them.”
Grian chuckled into his hand, then sighed, the smile fading, “Cub didn’t want me to tell you this, but I think it’s important that you know, for transparency’s sake. I love him. And he loves me too, yes, like that. And I told him because I couldn’t keep it a secret, because I just couldn’t handle it anymore, and not because I was trying to force my way between you two, and I want you to believe me, so I’ve been honest, I’ve told you everything, all my secrets, all my crimes. I had no idea how he felt, and I don’t think he knew very much either. We’re so close, you have to understand. It was hard to even see it, not before everything was thrown into question, and suddenly things are changing and you’re feeling and you don’t even know what’s going on. But I think I know what would happen, HotGuy, if we acted on those feelings. If we let everything go back to normal, except maybe with a few more stolen kisses, and really, I mean it when I say a few, we are not the most physically inclined people; more lazy than anything.”
Grian stopped himself, realizing HotGuy was looking a bit pale. “Maybe I should cut to the chase. We talked it over for a long time and we both agree we don’t want things to be the way they were before. We don’t want to stagnate and rot away, to have each other, but nothing else, y’know? And I’m afraid of change. I’m afraid of you. But I want to let you in. And he wants you too.”
“Like- Like a polycule?”
“I- No! No-” Grian had to laugh, too startled to do much else, “I guess I could have worded that a little better. No, I mean you and Cub. I think you and Cub should have the chance to love each other, if you still want that.”
“I’m poly, Grian.”
“Goodness- Scar, please, not necessary,” Grian covered his face, struggling to contain his laughter, mostly bubbling up from nerves now, which unfortunately, was painfully obvious, “You don’t love me, and I mean it when I say I don’t want to get in the way. I want you to have this. I want Cub to have this.”
“I could love you. I think I could.”
Grian stared, possibly gaping, though he had no idea. He might have been flustered if his brain hadn’t factory reset itself right then and there. At some point he remembered to breathe, and had to take a couple of moments to do that in silence.
When there was sufficient air in his lungs, he looked up. “But you don’t. And I don’t love you either. And that’s okay, Scar. That’s okay.” Grian felt his voice buckle, the first and last warning he was going to cry, and damn it he didn’t want to, he really hadn’t wanted to cry, but he hadn’t been prepared for this, he was not prepared to be forgiven like it was effortless, to be told he could be loved.
“Grian I- fuck it-” To Grian’s great alarm, HotGuy began to fiddle with his mask, a motion Grian recognized from HotGuy’s first meeting with Cub.
“Whoa! No, no! Don’t- Don’t do anything you’re going to regret, please!” Grian hopped off the car, waving his arms, but HotGuy didn’t listen, breaths coming harshly from his nose. Grian couldn’t stop him before the mask was off, though, even with his face fully bared, Grian didn’t see anything that particularly shocked him. He still didn’t recognize HotGuy from anyone he’d seen on the street, which made perfect sense. Civilian HotGuy probably blended right in. Though a few things stood out, like his eyes, the same striking green as his brother’s, and a few scars that were obscured by the mask, though, that was no surprise. But HotGuy seemed distressed at Grian’s non-reaction, looking near panic as he jumped back.
“Do you- makeup wipes, do you have makeup wipes?”
His panic was infectious, Grian fumbling over his words, “Not on me, I don’t just carry them around.”
“I don’t either!” HotGuy hissed before making a decisive noise, rubbing at his face with his gloved hands instead. “Whatever.”
“HotGuy- Scar, please, you don’t have to do this-” Grian wanted to pull HotGuy’s hands away, but at the same time, couldn’t bring himself to touch the other, “This feels bad, Scar.” But HotGuy didn’t stop, fingers raking over the places where he had covered up scars. And other spots too, where he seemed to have meticulously sculpted lines across his face that just weren’t real- Grian had never noticed, it was so well done.
“I don’t want this anymore! I don’t want to be a secret! I want to be like you, I want you to know me!” But still, Grian was too distressed with this display to properly look at him, which only seemed to upset HotGuy further, growing more and more hysterical, “Grian!”
“I don’t know what you want, HotGuy!”
“Grian, please!” And that was different. Distinctly, world-rockingly different, that was not HotGuy’s voice. That was not HotGuy.
Grian was pretty sure he yelled, soft and then loudly, very loudly, a violent crescendo as he backpedaled anywhere away, away, get away, at all costs get away from the man using Micah’s voice, from Micah in HotGuy’s uniform, frantic and frightened, but above all else, deeply, deeply relieved.
Tripping on flapping wings, it took a second for Grian to be airborne, screaming his distress all the way into the sky, movements uneven and exhausting, but panic did little else but put him in the clouds, flying anywhere as long as it was away.
Poultry Man was a chicken, afterall.
by the way, if you are one of the people reading only this specific story (as indicated by the 3/3) and are interested to know more or what happens next, there is more, and there will be more after this, and you can find all of it on ao3 here
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laundrybiscuits · 2 years ago
Text
Hawkins all lit up for Christmas is like something out of a postcard. It’s been a warm winter, which means big fat snowflakes piling up in fluffy drifts all over town, and string lights have been going up along every street and building to make the whole town look like a gingerbread fantasy.
Steve remembers it feeling a lot more magical when he was a kid, back when he didn’t have to shovel his car out of the drive or worry about winter tires. They don’t salt the back ways early enough in Hawkins, so on days like this, it always takes him longer to drive to work, going slow and cautious down the main roads, trapped in the Hawkins version of a traffic jam as everyone else does the exact same thing as him.
When he finally gets to the print shop, Donna McCorkle’s waving enthusiastically at him from the parking lot.
“Steven, honey! I’m so glad to see you out and about. I heard—” she leans in and whispers in a way that might actually be more conspicuous than yelling at the top of her lungs. “I heard about you and Laura. Sweetie, I’m so sorry, we all really thought you two would be taking a little stroll down the aisle by spring.”
“Thanks, Mrs. McCorkle,” Steve says. “I’m okay, honest. Just wasn’t meant to be, I guess.”
Jerry nods in greeting as Steve gets in and hangs up his winter coat. “Heya, Harrington. You’re six minutes late.”
“Sorry, boss,” grunts Steve, scraping off his boots.
“S’fine. Considering the circumstances and all. Just don’t get too hung up on her, eh, son? Can’t let some woman get you down. That’s no way for a man to live.”
“Right,” Steve says. “I’m okay, honest. Wasn’t meant to be.”
He shoves his lunch in the minifridge and heads out to his desk to check his messages.
———
He gets beers with Hopper after work. As soon as he slides into the booth, Hop raises a knowing eyebrow and snorts. “Folks around town been up your ass about the thing with Laura today?”
Steve groans. “Don’t even know how it got around so fast. We broke it off just yesterday, and I sure as hell didn’t tell anyone.”
Hopper nudges a bowl of peanuts his way. “Ah, you know how Hawkins is. People just want to see you doing well, kid.”
“People just need to mind their own damn business.”
Hopper’s face creases into a wry smile. The lines around his eyes seem to be getting deeper by the week. “They go a little overboard, sure. But come on, it’s nice knowing people care, ain’t it?”
“Sure.” Steve takes a long gulp of beer. “Nice.”
———
“I’m just—tired, Robbie,” he sighs into the phone. “Feels like I can’t walk down the street without running into someone trying to talk to me about the breakup.”
“It’s been coming for a while though, right? I mean, you’ve been talking about how you weren’t sure about her for a while. Like, actually way too long. Like this definitely should’ve happened six months ago.”
“I know, I know. But we were together for over a year, and it was…I dunno, nice. Easy. Felt like the thing to do. People are gonna start back up asking why I’m not married yet, ‘cause everyone else around here seems to be.”
Robin’s laugh crackles down the line, tinny and familiar. He presses the receiver tight against his face like it’ll bring Robin closer.
“Miss the hell out of you, Buckley. Can’t wait until you get back for Christmas.”
“Actually…” Even through the shitty line, he can tell Robin sounds a little nervous. “I was thinking. Well, me and Eddie were thinking. My folks aren’t going to be in Hawkins this year, they’re visiting my aunts in Vermont, and…we’ve got some friends here who are planning to just stay in the city for the holidays. So. What would you think, hypothetically, about coming here instead of me going there? It could be fun! You’ve only visited like twice, and you haven’t visited at all since I moved in with Eddie. You should come see our place, it’s pretty great.”
It’s true, he hasn’t made the trip out for a while. Robin and Eddie had been talking about moving in together for years, and last spring they’d finally found a place they liked. Steve had offered to drive up and help them move in, but their move-in date was Laura’s cousin’s wedding weekend, so that hadn’t worked out. And then it had just been easy to let his summer and fall get away from him, and just see Robin when she came back to Hawkins, because Eddie never comes back to Hawkins at all if he can help it.
Steve’s not avoiding Eddie. Of course he's not. There’s no reason for him to avoid Eddie, because the thing about Eddie is that there’s not a thing. There’s never been a thing.
But the lack-of-thing, the space where a thing could maybe have been, is something that’s followed Steve around for the last six years or so whether he likes it or not.
It’s not like he thinks about it every day, or anything like that. It’s just that—there was a moment, maybe, back in ‘87. He’d been smoking with Eddie outside in the miserable freeze of February. The grimy slush around them had been half-liquid in a way that was going to be trouble in the morning, after it'd had a chance to freeze over.
“If I asked,” Eddie had said, eyes fixed on the distant gray skies. “Would you come with me?”
Steve hadn’t had an answer, then. He’d thought he’d known, by that point, all the different ways he could be afraid, so it took him a second to recognize the feeling clawing its way up his ribcage and quickening his pulse. His tongue had felt thick and useless in his mouth.
Eddie’d just nodded once in a matter-of-fact way, and crushed his cigarette butt beneath the scuffed toe of his boot. “Don’t worry your pretty head about it, Harrington. I won’t ask.”
And then a week later he’d been gone. So it’s not like there was anything at all, not ever.
“Steve?” Robin’s voice is still kind of nervous. “What do you think? We’d both really love to see you.”
“Okay,” says Steve. “Sure. I’ll visit you guys for Christmas. Why the hell not?”
(continued here)
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the-colourful-witch · 3 months ago
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Hi there I was wondering, when you started doing the Harry Potter character design series that you do in your blog, which characters did you start with and how did you decide what characters to do next and how the art project would develop?
Hiya! What a fun question, I'm glad you asked :)
Start of the Project
It started about a year ago. I was pretty art-blocked after graduating from art school. I was by myself during the summer holiday (or rather, the start of a black void that is creating your own art career, holidays are for students...). I was tired and enjoying some much-needed time off when I doodled this little punk girly on my iPad... She had pink hair and funky outfits and I thought: this is Tonks! So I posted the sketch on Tumblr. I don't even know why. I never posted sketches before, it was just an impulse.
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The funny thing is, I posted (HP) stuff on Tumblr before but never really did anything with it. I had done a few Marauders portraits the winter before but that didn't prompt me to do more. It wasn't until I posted Tonks and I got some enthusiastic reactions that I thought to create more. It sparked enthusiasm in me; I wanted to explore more of these outfit sketches for HP characters. This is fun! So I did Hermione next, then Harry, then Ron. And on and on. Soon, I was taking requests and thought; 'People seem to really enjoy this! Who'd have thought my doodles turned into this?!'
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After about two months, I decided to illustrate every HP character in the books (minus a few extremely obscure ones.. maybe when I get the motivation..). It will probably take a while, but after one year I've done... (takes a moment to count) 45 of them! There are so many more, so it will take a few years to get through them all, I think. Not to mention, all the other illustrations I do, too. The Triwizard portraits were fun! As well as the Weasley family portrait, the Gryffindor Quidditch team... I have a lot more stuff planned :) So, long story short: I'm going to continue for a long long time because there are too many characters to get through and I can't wait to share them all with you! How do I choose which characters to do next? That depends. Sometimes I take a request because I can't choose myself. And other times, I'm planning a few characters in a row. Like, I started with the Gryffindors in Harry's year. Dean, Seamus, Lavender and Parvati... Then a series of Slytherins, a series of Marauders. A series of Teachers, Triwizard Champions, etc. I recently did a series of every Weasley family member and finished that off with a portrait. The same with the Gryffindor Quidditch team; first all the individual characters and then a group illustration. I like doing it like that, it feels organised :)
Future Plans
As for future plans... I'm so thrilled about my plans. I feel like a child on their birthday :) I started the Owl Post Club last month, through Patreon, where I send my patrons a postcard with a Wizarding World illustration every month. I just sent off the first card and the feeling was unbelievable. I received messages that the cards arrived and they were so happy and I'm just beyond excited. I'm hoping to expand my Patreon with more fun projects like this soon. I would like for people to be able to have physical artwork and I'm working on making that possible. The Owl Post Club is just the beginning. Link to the Owl Post Club:
I hope this answered your question(s) :) I'm happy to answer more if you have any.
Magical wishes, Fleur
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passionpeachy · 2 months ago
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I just got the stickers and postcards I ordered from you and I love them! I also love the extra stickers you put in! Your art is so beautiful!
I’m glad you like them!!! 🤍✨
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inkbagel · 3 months ago
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I drew a postcard for my show :) the concert was really amazing I had so much fun. Genuinely one of the best nights of my life.
Idk if people want to avoid spoilers so I’ll put my rants below.
It was so AWESMOEE I have so many thoughts on each and every songgg that was my first concert experience EVER and ohh man it was spectacular
Heathens was SO GOOD LIVE. Was genuinely my favorite part of the show and HEATHENS ISNT EVEN MY FAVORITE!!! like I don’t dislike any of their songs but I have a very long list of favorites and heathens is not in it. However that being said it was spectacular. I had the most fun during that song I think that song was actually made to be played live and not for suicide squad
The transition from heathens to next semester is so so good. I didn’t notice the similarities in those songs until they were back to back. I do really wish they had played all of next semester instead of like. Half the song but it’s okay the rest of the night made up for it
THEY PLAYED GUNS FOR HANDSSS THAT SKNG MEANS SO MUCH TO MEEEE AAAAAAA I almost started crying when I heard the tune it was so so good. That song genuinely like. Made me realize so many things about myself. I’m so glad I got to hear it live
THE TRANSITION. BETWEEN NATN AND HEAVYDIRTYSOUL. NOT EVEN INJECTING IT INTO MY BLOODSTREAM WOULD BE ENOUGH. THAT WAS SO GOOD. GHHSBFBJGKKC i got a recording im so happy
EVERYONE WAS SO NICE DURING TREES!! I saw so many clips from LA and it looked like hell for those two but everyone was really respectful here and Tyler even started picking people around the circle to stand closest to the islands and I thought that was so sweet
FOREST APPEARANCE??? IN 2024?????? I DIDNT THINK THEYD EVER ACKNOWLEDGE RAB AGAIN BUT THEY PLAYED FOREST!!! I’m glad forest has a lot of nostalgia for me
The thing with the lights in mulberry street was so cool. Honestly the whole show was so interactive he kept calling to specific parts of the stadium and had certain people doing certain things I loved it. Tyler really made sure that even the people wayyyy in the back were having fun and that the people in the pit were getting their moneys worth
After the proctologist line Tyler yelled GROSS!!!! Really loudly and I thought that was funny. He then said “you guys are wayy cooler than me. The only difference is I’m on a stage and you’re not you guys are better than me. Anyway we’re taking a photo losers.” I love him
JOSH SANG. LIKE SO MUCH. HE WAS SINGING DURING STRESSED OUT AND HE SANG BANDITO WHILE TYLER SANG PALADIN STRAIT. HES ACTUALLY SO GOOD AT SINGJNG TYLER SHOULD MAKE HIM SING MORE IN THEIR SONGS.
Right before the show started Josh said into the mic WHATS YOUR ETA? TWO MINUTES! And that was really cute
THE CRAVING BACK TO BACK WITH TEAR IN MY HEART I WAS GOING TO CRRYYYYYY AND SCREEAAMAMMMM AAAAA I LOVE THOSE TWO THEYRE SO CUTEEEEEEEBVBB
OVERCOMPENSATE LIVE. HFJSJSJJDK AKAKGKFKDKEJRJFJFJFJFJFJ THAT WAS SO GOODDD. I saw some clips from other shows where he jumped off his piano and caught the microphone mid air and while he didn’t do that here he def made up for it bc that performance was AMAZINGK.
I think he might’ve been feeling a little unwell or smth because he was definitely not as acrobatic as in clips from other nights BUT I DIDNT MIND! HE STILL DID AMAZING ANYWAY and honestly I could NOT be performing like that if I was sick so I think it’s more impressive if he’s actually not doing good. He’s actually insane
HIS GLOWING MICROPHONEEEE ITS SO SILLYYYY
HIS DISAPPEARING TRICK IN CAR RADIO WAS SO COOL. HE WAS KIND OF CLOSE TO WHERE I WAS SITTING AND. HNGNKSKSKF
During vignette he did grab the keyboard and play it on the floor again I’m like 90% certain he knows the fandom thinks he’s a catboy and plays into it. Bc sir. You are NOT beating the cat allegations. Get off the floor and play your keyboard standing up like a REAL MAN /silly I loved that part actually
I actually started crying when he played addict with a pen. It was so good. That song means so much to me.
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I got a really good picture during stressed out which speaking of! THE SKELETON HORSE CAROUSEL?????? THAT WAS SO COOL IT WAS LIKE OUT OF A MAGNUS ARCHIVES STATEMENT WHAT DOES IT MEANN ITS SO COOOLLLLLLLLL
I have not put enough Josh Dun appreciation in this post and for that I am truly sorry Josh Dun you were amazing the whole night you were so energetic your backflip was the best part of the night you were awesome
I think I’ve said it before but everyone screaming “our brains are sick but that’s okay” was so surreal. Like wow I’m sitting in a stadium FULL of people and every single one of them treasures this band just as much as I do. Idk man there’s something so amazing about that. It really felt so amazing. I’ve never before felt like I was the same as a whole crowd of people. We’re all going through our own things but we’re all still here. We’re still alive and we’re still fighting. And tonight we’re fighting together. I loved it
Midwest indigo <3 that song was MADE to be played live I got chills it was so good
This post is getting kind of long and I’m tired so I’m ending it with this picture of Clancy with the glowing microphone I drew :) as a first time concert experience the Clancy world tour was life changing and I am never going to be the same person I was before the concert
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sliced-peaches · 4 months ago
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starry 🌠
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hwang hyunjin | 2.4k
lil drabble (?) bc I love hyun and I love love. funny love languages and confessions. that’s it
barely proofread, no warnings, just a couple of besties to lovers
pls enjoy 💕
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There’s a buzz running through your body, a pleasant one, as you walk towards the car. As you approach the passenger side door, Hyunjin rolls the window down and smiles in a way that has your heart clenching. Full of warmth, a hint of mischief. Just how you like it.
“You wear that skirt just for me?” He attempts to wriggle his eyebrows for extra flair.
You try your best to curtsy, both of you snorting at how ridiculous it looks in a mini skirt. “Mostly for me, but I’m glad you’re enjoying.”
He throws his head back and laughs.
“Get in, loser.”
Once the door closes, he’s reaching into his backseat, fumbling through various items that should probably be in his apartment (or in the trash!) but will probably remain in the car for another month or so. And you’ll complain at least three more times before he finally does anything about it. “Okay, I got you something.”
A giant smile is already forming on your face, expecting a gag gift or some strange souvenir from a museum or vintage shop he’s visited recently. You’ve dedicated a shelf (or two) on the bookshelf in your apartment to the collection of random oddities. From small trolls and rubber ducks, clown salt shakers to a giant drinking glass shaped like the leg lamp from “A Christmas Story”.
You can never truly be prepared for what Hyunjin decides is worth the purchase. The collection goes beyond the shelf though; you have beautiful vases on end tables, old postcards from places that might not even exist anymore taped onto the wall, a few teacups in the cupboard (he has the matching cups in his own). Pieces of wood carved into various animals, like the screaming squirrel he said reminded him of Jisung. He got a good deal on an extinct pinned beetle that’s hanging in your bedroom.
(“Hyun, this must have been expensive!”
“I haggled with the owner for a bit, it helps when they don’t know shit about bugs.”)
It’s hard not having the eyes of your artist friend, you could never curate anything half as insane as Hyunjin. So you try to pay him back by getting his coffee often, being a really good photographer (not like it’s hard, look at him), babysitting Kkami when he’s out of town, making baked good that he swears could rival Felix’s. Anything to make life easier on him, even when he says he doesn’t need you to.
He says he just thinks of you when he finds these gifts, thinks you’d like them or “appreciate the humor”. He doesn’t tell you he also just loves to see you smile at weird things with him. You don’t tell him how your heart almost beats out of your chest thinking about how sweet it is that he wants to share them with you.
It’s like a little game, a willed secret between the two of you, that you’ll harbor as long as you have to, to be able to share these fleeting moments of pure love. He can’t lose your smile, you can’t lose his warmth. So he continues to place strange tokens of love into your hands like a penguin sharing a pebble.
But today, he pulls a rectangular shaped gift wrapped in brown paper. It’s so tame in comparison to everything else, you’re scanning his face to see if it’s a joke. All you find is a small smile, almost shy. A shy Hyunjin is a rare occurrence.
It’s surprisingly light once he places it in your hands. “This one is special. You have to open it in front of me.”
You tsk. “Right now?”
“Yeah, why not?” He adjusts in the seat so he’s facing you, one foot on the seat and his knee pressed to his chest.
You look around and out the back window. “You’re parked illegally too-“
“Hurry up and we can leave!” He hurries your hesitancy along with his hands, practically bouncing in his seat. He’s unbelievably cute like this: nervous, excited and a little pushy. So you indulge him.
Running your hands along the front, your finger stops where he’s written something: to my special friend
“Aw, I’m your special friend?”
He looks away, but can’t hide the way the tips of his ears start to tint red.
“Shut up, hurry up,” He whines while you giggle and you snap a photo of his handwritten note with your phone.
“Okay! Okay.”
You carefully start to unwrap your gift, starting with the small pieces of tape on the backside. Careful not to ruin what’s inside, you pull the paper back slowly (agonizingly so, he thinks). His full attention is on you when you finally pull the paper away, anticipating your reaction.
At first, you’re silent as you stare at what is actually a small canvas in your hands. It’s not hard to make out. Two people sit side by side on a couch, no clear faces. There aren’t many details but the colors.
“Did- did you paint this?”
He nods. “I did.”
“I had to make sure, this would’ve been a crazy find out in the wild.”
He’s chewing on his bottom lip while you continue to study his painting. What if she hates it? “…do you like it?”
“Yes, I love it!” You carefully drag a finger across the picture, feeling the dried texture of oil paint. “It’s beautiful, Hyunjin. I’m sorry, I just can’t get over the colors. The couch is pretty, and the people don’t bleed into it at all. I feel like I’ve seen this before. How did you-“ You cock your head to the side, something about this scene so familiar to you. The slope of shoulders, positioning of bodies. “Is this us?”
“It is.” He slightly adjusts in his seat. He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous, it’s just you, but he feels like maybe he crossed some imaginary line for whatever reason. That he probably drew himself.
“You let Jeongin borrow your Polaroid one of the first few times we all hung out. He took a picture of us on some strangers couch. I can’t even tell you who’s, I got so drunk that night.”
“Dude I remember now because that’s the same night we made a drinking game out of how many times drunk Felix told someone he loved them, that’s why you were so fucked up.” He groans thinking about the hangover the next day. “My bad.”
It was mostly your idea, already three drinks in to Felix’s six or seven when he started to drunkenly tell every single one of his friends how much they meant to him, teary eyed and sniffling. Hyunjin was curled into your side cackling, a weepy Felix curled into the other before Chan had enough and hauled him over his shoulder to get some food in him. You vaguely recall stumbling out of said strangers house, the both of you clinging to each other and laughing because you couldn’t stand or see straight.
That was the first night of many outings with dear friends, but the first night you looked at Hyunjin and realized how bright of a star he was. From his laugh to his smile, to the little sticky note drawings he’d leave for you during classes, the way he cried when he saw monkeys fighting in a documentary, the cute jingles he’d make off the top of his head when you shared a treat. You would never ask the star to come any closer, content with just being able to witness. But you also hoped it would shine in your sky for a long, long time.
“Anyway, Jeongin found the photos from that night, I’ll have to show you the rest later because they’re fucking insane. But the one he took of us was… honestly the best photo of us ever. And I didn’t even know it existed until about two weeks ago.”
“What a find. That’s from, like, two years ago.”
He’s fiddling with the ring on his hand. Placing yours on his shoulder, you squeeze and he looks at you. Just takes a good look at you, eyes full of sincerity when he speaks again.
“A good two years it’s been.”
He begins to unfold and sit in the drivers seat like a normal person, taking the paper from you and haphazardly throwing it into the backseat.
“This is such a special gift, Hyun. Really. Thank you.”
As he brings his arm forward, he ruffles your hair. “For a special lady.”
“Ugh we’re getting sappy today, this is so cute.” You wipe a fake tear from your eye. But your words are honest. “You’re just so talented. I’m honored you gave me this. What a testament to our friendship. I don’t even know if I can match this.”
“Don’t even think about that. You mean so much to me.” He remembers the invisible line. He decides since he might have already crossed it anyway, with no complaints, he might as well just be honest. “More than you know.”
“You mean a lot to me, too.”
Pausing to look at each other, you fall into habit.
“I love you.”
Said a thousand times.
“I love you, too.”
This time it’s a little different.
Something shifts between you two, something like your definitions of love finally lining up to mean the same thing. There’s an unstoppable force causing you both to lean in closer to each other only to stop with tour noses mere centimeters away. Almost as if you’re synced you give each other a three second long opportunity for an out, eyes meeting and looking for any sign of uncertainty, but then simultaneously leaning forward to close the gap. You were both certain, you both wanted this.
Your lips press into his gently, and he smiles into yours, a hand coming up to cup your face. There’s a shared warmth in split into each chest, over bloomed and ready to spill out. Hyunjin’s chest almost bursts open when you lay your hand over his, so he deepens the kiss, hoping you can feel all the love he’s been storing away for you. Love he was uncertain he’d ever be able to expel. Your chest is so full it feels like you can’t breathe, full of love for this beautiful, strange man, that it almost pains you to part from him to catch your breath.
He rests his forehead against yours, the most beautiful smile plastered onto his face. He smiles so big his eyes are crescents, and the brightest laugh erupts from his chest. You can’t help but laugh with him, at him, at yourself, at this. It’s a pleasant surprise, and yet you’re not surprised one bit. Of course this is how it goes.
You kiss his cheek. “I know you know this but you’re gorgeous.”
“It has taken on such a different meaning hearing you say it to me like that.”
“And I’ll say it again.” You kiss him once. “And again.” Twice. “I always meant it before.”
“I know but I wasn’t sure if you ever saw me like that.“ The corner of his mouth twists up, thinking back on how his heart would race when you’d simply compliment him, at the time knowing it was just what good friends do. But from you, it meant everything. “It’s one thing to gas up a friend, it’s another to tell them how truly fucking beautiful you think they are.”
You falter. His gaze is something you’ve seen him give you before, but this time you aren’t trying to convince yourself that it doesn’t mean what you truly wish it did. “You think I’m beautiful?”
With a chuckle, he tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear.
“You’ve always been the brightest star in my sky.”
It’s like hearing your soulmate saying the magic words. Of course these two stars would end up in the same constellation. You should’ve known sooner.
“Ugh, shut up.” And you kiss him again.
“You’ve always been the only star in my sky.”
Pulling away, he feigns offense. “This is not an opportunity to one up my compliments.”
“Get used to it, loser.” You sit back and settle into your seat. “And let’s go. You’ve had the hazards on for like fifteen minutes.”
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epicqtefail · 3 months ago
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I think I've just scrolled through your entire blog and i love it. Every idea and comic you make about dbh leaves me with this odd mix of elation and absolute horror. incredible.
I think about that Christmas card drawing every time I close my eyes and it makes me giggle.
And the way you draw hank is great. You are singlehandedly fuelling my Hank soft spot. In conclusion you're great
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AGHHH THANK YOU!! Seeing all your notifications felt like being a kid on christmas morning!! I'm glad that postcard drawing has imprinted on your mind, i'm still haunted by that nightmarish Sumo when i close my eyes too.
I'm literally kicking my feet this has made me so happy! I'm gonna keep fuckin around! got so much fuckin around planned! So many more Hanks to come and they'll all be dedicated to you.
Thank you, it means a lot <3
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