#give me stuff to write... yeah
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My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.
[id in alt text]
#legend of zelda#loz#twilight princess#loz tp#i'm still reeling that someone sent me an ask about this one.. that they took the time to find my tumblr and tell me they liked it#it really meant a lot; thank you to anyone that stops to leave comments like that. they make me happy#but yeah! here's the usual symbolism ramble:#i thought it'd be cool to have the 'spirits' flowing one way and the cats walking through them the other way#to kinda show the difference in life inhabiting the village in the past and present#link's face is covered because impaz was just waiting for 'the hero' so his clothes are what matters; not his face#and it (hopefully) gives a surreal and intangible sense to 'the hero' she could only hope would actually show up#you can feel free to interpret the glowy blue sheikah as ghosts or just as memories of the past! i couldn't decide either way#the one on the bottom left is oot impa since she's implied to be the village founder. so i guess she would be a ghost actually?#fan art#my art#project stuff#and ahhh the book-- everyone's stuff is so beautiful!!#especially the writing. some of the fics made me really tear up and some were so fun and clever. i really love them#a lot of them captured the sheer burden of the role of the sheikah; all of the time and grief and doubt#i know i always say this stuff about every project but. the people i get to work with in these are truly so skilled every time
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i've been thinking about exactly why people portraying one of the other crew members successfully killing Jimmy as a "for what you did to Anya" kind of thing rubs me the wrong way a bit and it's because like..... this is just another form of taking agency away from Anya, in a way. it's kind of framing her as some meek, shivery woman-thing who's entirely at the mercy of the men around her, either to hurt her or save her.
(i understand these are mostly for wish fulfillment on the audience's behalf because everyone would like to see Jimmy pay for his crimes. whether or not this is the intention of the person writing it isn't really relevant, characterization happens with or without intent. i feel like it misses the point by portraying it as an 'ideal ending'.)
because... Anya is a capable person. she takes things into her own hands when she can. it was partially(?) her idea to get into the cargo,
(before he interrupts her.. remember when she interrupted Curly in the dead pixel segment?)
it was her idea to get the code scanner from the cockpit,
it was her idea to get the medication from behind the foam.
(the chance to do these things herself is not given to her.)
she'd been keeping Curly alive for months in a critical state somehow, her psych evaluations at the start are only so useless because Jimmy refuses to take it/her seriously and Curly is obviously biased when he puts it into his own hands. he's known him a long time, like he said. "I'll just put good for that one."
there's not a lot of material to work with because of how the game is framed, but it's there. we are working with two very biased perspectives and neither one lends Anya what she deserves
there's significant changes in how she speaks post- and pre- crash, and depending on who she happens to be talking to. i recommend re-reading her dialogue, because the difference is drastic
she acts the way she does around Jimmy because he has tangibly done horrible things to her, is actively hostile, and physically could not escape him by any means. she can't take away Curly's agency herself, in my eyes. you have to remember that Especially in the post-crash segments of the game, it's entirely from Jimmy's POV, and he obviously does not (and has never) thought very highly of her or treated her with a shred of respect
i've seen a general idea that she can't bear to hurt other people for any reason, but that doesn't really track to me. this is the real point of the post by the way
it seems based on the parts where she says she struggles to give Curly medication. "It just hurts him so much, I can't stand the noise." "It makes me nauseous."
it's not really the same thing as, say, hurting someone in self defense
this sounds like she did want the gun itself. this never felt worded like someone who would refuse to, at very least, threaten Jimmy with a gun, with violence. if she had been given the agency to make that decision on her own. she wasn't though
she still tries to reclaim some of it even as she's denied it
by the end she's still trying to keep that gun out of his hands
i think some people overly soften her, for similar reasons the game itself is trying to comment on. she's not a tender victim who couldn't cause pain to another out of the softness of her soul, she's a person who's had every last bit of agency ripped from her repeatedly until she couldn't take it anymore. that's the point. that's why framing her that way, "needing" someone to save her, is odd to me
she didn't need Curly to save her, she needed him to take responsibility
she didn't want to escalate things, but she's not an idiot. self defense was absolutely on her mind
but who knows im just saying shit *smiles serenely*
#dib noise#mouthwashing#sorryyyyyyyyy lol#i will defend you anya o7#its been fun to roll this game around in my brain. gives me something to do#long post#could be reaching though. it's unfortunate so much of her screentime is hammering home how poorly jimmy regards her#or her being scared/nervous in his presence#or trying to placate him#yes i know that's the point#are my feelings on how anya is treated by the the characters the fans and the game itself weirdly personal? yeah sorry#unfortunately i do think they didn't get the anya parts as solidly as the rest but oh well#everything has flaws#i've gone through a playthrough of this game like 10 times for this#you KNOW im sourcing my claims!!#not really an attack on the people who made the stuff i mentioned at the start#more of a commentary on how they relate with the source material itself#yes yes i know giving a crewmate a lethal weapon is probably not the best idea to curly#does that make this situation any less horrifying?#remember: these aren't real people. everything they do was written on purpose for a reason#i still need to write down my general thoughts on the game as a whole..#also not about one specific person post image writing ect it's a collection of things and ideas thrown onto one post#I'm not any good at ending posts like thase it kind of devolves by yhe end but thats ok
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Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
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me: finally accepting theres a good chance im autistic and starting to work up the courage to ask my parents to see if i could get a diagnoses but being scared to
my mom: do you ever think you have adhd? if you want to do a screening for add next time your at the doctors you can
me:
#for context im terrified of being the person who sees stuff online and diagnosis themselves and then is wrong#which is why it took me so long to accept im —probably— autistic (bc now i have done research and stuff for it)#and id see adhd things that were relatable but i felt i related more to the autism + self diagnosing both felt weird (for me not in general#but now like. my mom is willing to accept i might have add??#(there was a long talk in between her asking if i ever thought i had it and her saying i could get a screening where we both agreed that#—if i did have it— i didnt have the hyperactive part. hence the add vs adhd thing)#and now that kinda through off my plans because like. what if i do also had adhd. or something#so yeah small crisis woo#i need to actually look i to symptoms and stuff for adhd though#because im not saying anything til i know more about it and if i actually do have a lot of the things#but this also gives me a chance go write about the autism things as well bc i told my mom i would look into the adhd#so now i can hopefully find a way to bring that up#ive mentioned that autism is a spectrum recently which i didnt think she knew before#so progress i guess#wow long rant in the tags whoops#jasper’s posts#moots have some jaz lore i guess
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Things I make for myself when insomnia kicks in
Just a chart about what I wanna change up and keep consistent in my art - I mainly wanna draw Raph with a tail because he deserves one, it fits too well. Donnie gets a long tail too because I didn’t realize how dino-like he looks until I gave him one, and now it’s a must for me haha.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#note these are veryyy much for my own art so by all means ignore this completely for your own unless it resonates#these are just my personal headcanons#I’ve been getting more and more fond of the turtles having tails - especially Raph whose design honestly feels more complete with one#I also am now attached to Donnie having a long tail too because 1) he looks cute with one and it really works for him and-#2) I LOVE giving the Brains and Brawn duo more stuff in common#I could write an essay about how many things Brains and Brawns duo has in common in general#but also portal duo as well!!#we already know that Mikey and Leo look a LOT alike#so I think it’s cute when Raph and Donnie have stuff like that in common with each other too#like how canonically Donnie’s sclera are on the yellow side like Raph’s#anyway I’m sorry if this is a random post I am very tired and still have not slept#ALSO yeah i wanted an excuse to doodle April it’s been too long i missed her#I’m excited to finish this comic up to show the OTHER reason I gave Donnie a long tail#I made this in like five minutes because working on my comic was not working out#also Draxum totally has a tail he’s a sheep#I lean away from Mikey and Leo having longer tails mainly because their designs are already so busy#with all the colors and shapes present on them#so to me longer tails kinda takes away a bit#meanwhile Raph and Donnie are more monochrome in comparison so I feel like tails only help them?#I think as well Donnie’s torso/carapace being on the shorter side makes a tail balance him out#(me trying to justify the visual gag im putting into the comic for literally only two panels)#didn’t draw the caseys because I am tiredddd#and they would have just ended up where April is anyway
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the topic of Helpy makes me go insane /pos like I have this headcanon that William/Springtrap just, DESPISED Helpy because William took heaps of pride from the Funtime line of Animatronics, he saw it as his son's crude mocking of HIS creations, when in reality its just Michaelangelo S Afton trying to use humor to once again cope with the horrors™️ Like I've probably said this here before but I headcanon that Helpy found his way into the PizzaPlex's marketing is because after the FNAF6 fire he just was under the rubble remarkably preserved or something and instead of going into the RockStarRow Museum, the FazExecs had dollar signs in their eyes and were like "yeah, that one will make us bank, ong" Ive also probably said this (bad memory sozzz) but a headcanon to go in tandem with that headcanon, is that Glamfreddy sighs in resignation whenever he passes by one of those Helpy monitors (he wasn't paid royaltys <//3 ) AND LIKE I GOTTA KNOW WHAT (glam)MIKE WOULD THINK OF THE ENTITY THAT IS SATAN DISGUISING HIMSELF AS AN AGENT OF LIGHT (Helpi) WOULD HE FEEL SAD? ANGRY? AT THE MIMIC? THE COMPANY?! please the topic of helpy is so interesting PLEAs-
#fnaf#michael afton#five nights at freddy’s#glammike#glamrock freddy#helpy#fnaf helpy#fnaf helpi#uhhhh glammike is like in every single one of my Fnaf AUs so uhh#something something the ghost hunters in the pizzaplex somehow see the original helpy figure from the fire in RockRow#it just showed up (but they dont know that shhhh) so they initially pass by it but then like idk their EMF readers spike their so like#they decide to do a spirit box session next to it#uhhhhhhhh idk maybe michael's spirit can just move throughout the PizPlex and it just#idk makes freddy hard shut down#blah blah they get lots of answers they dont have a clue about but stuff the seasoned lore expert knows#yk for that ghost hunting au maybe Michael's spirit just follows the sam and colby wannabe's thru the PizPlex#yk how like conversing with spirits just kind of wakes them and stirs them?#Yeah Michael spent his life and unlife trying to not do that so like#hes trying to be as directly vague as possible (does that make sense lmao) like hes giving them direct answers right#like “yes” “no” but so direct to the point that theyre boring so that they dont want to prod more#what does this have to do with helpy specifically shhhhh let me write my entire AU in the tags#anyways blah blah “freddy why do you like that weird pink and white bear?”#“hes my son gregory! I have to!”#“like...canonically?”#blah blah anyways Helpy baby boy baby Helpy evil#tag rambles! theyre fun lol#tell me if I should just dump the Ghost hunter au in a different post lol im starting to see gears turning lowkey
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Back to normal Navi
The dreaded post has come...
I will not finish this years Kinktober on here. Opening tumblr has become a chore for me more than anything. It sparks no joy, I dont want to scroll dash anymore, I don't bother to keep up with anyone anymore on here.
My interests have shifted greatly over the past few weeks and I found my way back to crafting, gaming and even playing the bass again. At the moment I don't enjoy animanga / fandom on tumblr and wish to no longer participate or create for it.
I'm 99% certain that this is just a mood and I will most definitely be back but as of now I have no motivation or interest to create for tumblr. I'll be here every once in a while and answer asks should I get any and to still do background work in my network but otherwise it will be silent until I found my love and passion for all of this again.
There is no point in forcing myself to write for characters I do not care for, to force myself to keep up with the latest stuff that changes every 2 weeks. I will be selfish now and put myself first until my love has returned- be it 2 weeks, 2 months or 2 years.
- Much love, Luma.
#-ˋˏ ༻sunlit serenade#fuck it got so bad I even turned to religion#yes I have realized that not even my mutuals care anymore and that reblogs were more a thing of give and take#seriously if you don't care and don't wanna read my stuff then don't. unfollow me even I don't care#but I'm not a transactional machine or someone you can use to get compliments#I don't want to end this on a bitter note so uh yeah#im still writing still creating but just not for animanga or fandom. it doesn't feel right as of now#loving you all and thank you for all the kind words and all the connections#im taking like I'm leaving everyone behind and disappear#*talking#im really not gonna do that but it will be uncharacteristically quiet on here#...for a while
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i'm getting towards the end of the skypeia arc, & i'd like to say just how much i adore the way the female strawhats have been treated.
just... every aspect of how the way their characters have been previously contextualized influences the story-line is treated with a masterful amount of consideration. we're given so many layers to both of them that enrich not only their characters specifically, but the arc, and the one piece world as a whole. without nami & robin having their specific skills, and their specific values, without those being built upon, the story would have come to a halt.
you could not have skypeia without nami & robin being who they are as individuals. not just because they never would've gotten there without nami, but also because the way these women think is itself foundational to the machinations of the arc as a whole.
to be totally upfront, if you think any other strawhats were more central to the skypeia arc than nami & robin were you are full-on fucking lying to yourself.
#obligatory disclaimer that i’m aware luffy is the protagonist & a lot of interesting stuff is explored w him. this isn’t abt him though.#part of me wonders if this is an aspect of why people will write off this arc sometimes tbh... like that & the political themes.#but yeah anyway i get why people say that for all there are 100% misogynistic tendencies in oda's writing & character design#it is very very hard to say that he as an individual is an ideological misogynist. like the level of care he puts into his female cast mem#-ers generally speaking & how he approaches what existing as a multi-dimensional individual would look like in their specific contexts is#like... in a lot of ways still something that is unprecedented across all forms of media.#but also not the point but anyone who says nami in particular doesnt get real fights/is unskilled um... no you're wrong read her fight in#alabasta & then all of skypeia.#like in alabasta she takes on arguably a stronger opponent than sanji when considering the structuring of BW. not only that but she does s#with a weapon she has never used before while actively reading the instruction manual. and she WINS. she wins based on sheer intellect &#the ability to utilize skills the audience already knows she has. the pre-existing basic fighting skills she's introduced with are elabora#-ed upon by incorporating her skill w navigation. same with the way her cunning is used in skypeia to cover her lack of sheer brute. &#the best part about it is she's fucking tough in a way that makes sense! she isn't strong/weak just for the sake of positioning her as such#it is thoughtful & it strengthens her as a character rather than just like giving the power-scaler types smth to mindlessly chew on.#like do i wish nami got to fight more & take a more active role in that regard even if i don't think she needs to be a fighter in the same#sense as the monster trio? yes absolutely. i'm guessing this is going to be smth that bothers me potentially even more with robin.#but that does not mean her fights are not masterfully written when she gets them or that she isn't tough as a bag of nails.#respect my darling woman or die.#skypeia#nico robin#nami#grey's one piece tag
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the only gay rep I truly care about is
1. countless lives are destroyed because two proud people can't fully admit their gay crushes on each other
and
2. someone hides being a murderer as a metaphor for also hiding being gay
#miss me with that perfect wholesome gay rep stuff#in theory like yeah its good to have that too but does it resonate with me no#like is it probably homophobic to always make the obsessive weird villains creepy and gay yeah#but is that also by far the most fun yeah usually it is#theres this lesbian couple with basically opposite taste to me in my book club#and we read something with a shitty queer coded villain and im like yay#and they're like thats homophobic#and im like youre not wrong but id rather die than give 5 stars to the h/ouse in the c/erulean sea#i feel the 'bad rep' feels different when its a gay person writing it too... like clearly it is complicated#p
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2?
(important context in tags)
Dani sucks in a breath, and prepares for the worst. "There's no way you're fitting in that."
Blades gives her a blank look, the dress halfway up his thighs. "Huh?"
Even if there weren't love handles spilling over the waistband of his boxers, there's no way in hell Blades is fitting into anything Dani owns. He's taller than her, his shoulders are broader, and he's far more filled out. "You're not fitting in that."
"Why?" Blades asks, seemingly genuinely curious.
Because you're fat, is on the tip of Dani's tongue, but she holds it. Blades isn't even human on most days, she shouldn't subject him to human problems like body image issues. "We're not the same size," she settles on, tapping a beat on her arm. "You're bigger than me. And I'd rather you not rip that dress."
Blades' frown gets deeper, but he shimmies out of the dress and pulls back on the old tshirt and jeans from her dad, the only clothes they had that would fit him. "I could get smaller?" he offers.
Dani shakes her head. "No, you can't," she tells him. "You're not... y'know."
"Right," Blades mutters, crossing his arms over his chest. Dani can see the outline of his stomach through the shirt. How can he not be insecure about that? "But I don't like these clothes, I like your clothes. Your dad has no sense of style."
Dani cracks a smile at that. "No, he doesn't. But, uh..." she shifts, staring at the dress crumpled on the floor. Maybe she should've let him stretch out that dress. She always looks a little off in it... "I could take you shopping," she offers, and Blades absolutely lights up.
"Really?" he says, grabbing her hands. "Can we go to the mall? Oh, I've always wanted to do that-" he cuts himself off suddenly, eyes growing wide. "Oh my Primus. You have to buy me a pretzel."
Dani bites the comment on her tongue and forces herself to match his energy. "Of course!" she promises, squeezing his hands back. "You should enjoy your time as human!"
Blades' grin lights up the whole room.
Dani sighs when he turns away, babbling about all his plans and gathering up the clothes scattered on the floor to get an idea of what he wants. He's so excited, Dani wishes she could genuinely match that energy.
Maybe I could stand to learn a thing or two from him.
#this ones short and sweet#blades is the tallest I won't be taking questions#okay so this is not TECHNICALLY an au of an au#but in the smoke and mirrors au I'm planning to write a little story where doc greene creates some like inator or something#and traps the rescue bots in their holoforms#it goes about as well as you'd think#emotional regulation is at zero#basically they get all my sensory issues as they now have to taste and chew and eat food and experience textures and stuff#REGARDLESS#they appear in outfits corresponding to their professions#firefighter gear for heatwave#bulletproof vest and shit for chase#fighter pilot gear for blades#construction gear for boulder you get me#because they're all around the same size at their partners or the other burns kids give or take they kinda dress them in old clothes#but as we know in switcheroo blades really likes dani's clothes#and she's super conscious of her weight and body and stuff#and yeah was in the mood to write that. SO#might write this soon#maccadam#transformers#transformers rescue bots#thanks for the ask!!#s&m ask game#smoke and mirrors au#tfrb blades#tfrb dani#humanformers
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told yall we wouldnt be getting year 3 from allegory
#magic and mystery#allegory_for_hatred#m&m coil#m&m#coil#lmao#but yeah rip original m&m series#hope allegory is doing well#and im sure this fandom will make it's own year 3s anyway#the ending was painful tho#ouch#thank god it wasnt snape tho lmao#i thought it was at first#yeah we're fucked#anyone who continues the series pls know you are legally required to give a happy ending in the end#m&m as a whole cannot end depressingly#it would destroy me#technically coil did but id say that unles a happy ending comes before year 7 then we have until year 7 for a happy ending#ended well tho#godddd m&m is so well written#but painful#but yeah#i hope blaise is okay#he must be dying from guilt#i dunno how dazai would be able to uphold his promise to blaise of writing#but if he doesnt and blaise and him commit murder together#and blaise doesnt even have dazai to talk to...#itd just be rlly sad#luna kinda joined the gang at the end there tho#uhhhhh plently of stuff to talk abt but im rlly sad so im gonna let it marinate and then come back
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I love that, regardless of any other fey nature or trickery, Morri genuinely seems to love Fearne. There's no question in her greeting that she does see her as her own granddaughter, as much as Fearne sees Morri as her grandmother unequivocally.
#critical role#cr spoilers#fearne calloway#like not to say that morri isn't up to MANY shenanigans. she's an archfey.#but she clearly loves and dotes on Fearne without any complicated feelings#and tbh with the time dilation i get the sense that it's not even really malicious or transactional at least not consciously?#like it's just. yeah she's fey. she's up to stuff.#but it does give me the same vibes as frankly both Marion and Artagan with Jester#Jester is so bubbly and a little bit naive in some ways. so everyone just presumes that she must've been taken advantage of.#OR alternatively like if these people loved her then they can't have been wrong about anything else.#but that's more analysis than i prefer to write in full before we properly see Morri next episode#I'll come back to it though lol
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Recommend us some good jjk things u already read 🎀
say please 😐
unfortunately, i don’t read jjk fics… like, at all. i have two main reasons why:
i write them, sure, but i have this intense fear of reading jjk/reader fics (hypocritical, i know, but idc 🌝) simply ‘cause of the fact that i have these characters a certain way in my mind: VERY CANONICALLY-CENTRED.
when reading, i’d enjoy that with only a TOUCH of fanon, seeing as it’s usually romantic, reader-insert, love interest fics, and we’ve only ever actually seen two couples in jjk, and not even in depth — miwa and mechamaru + toji and mamaguro — therefore we can’t exactly say for certain what other characters would be like in a relationship and stuff: what we picture and write here is fanon.
but i did try a couple times. it just wasn’t for me, ig.
secondly, literally every gojo/reader story ever (i say gojo specifically cuz i’m only interested in reading about him and no one else 😭) has smut in it.
unpopular take, but i dislike smut. very much.
so essentially, i’m useless in this department.
p.s. that’s not to say that you yourself can’t read other fics and enjoy them the way they are. that’s great for you, and lovely for the author, but my personal opinion is that i just can’t, and that’s alr. i’ll silently move on and write my own :)
#half turned into a rant but oh well 😋#if you asked me for actual book recs and not fanfiction#ooh the stuff i’d give to youuuu#but with fanfics — yeah i’m useless#someone’s probably gonna see this and throw a fit#‘you’re a hypocrite cuz you write jjk stories and-’#i don’t EXPECT anyone to read them#i write cuz it’s fun#it’s a hobby#i also just like writing FOR you guys#it’s not like i’m giving shit to anyone for what they choose to write#i’m a firm believer of minding my own business 😋#and i really did underestimate how much i dislike smut here#like i genuinely hate it#idm if it’s implied that characters sleep tgth#imo i think it’s fine#i prefer that actually#but when it’s just smut and smut and smut and smut#no plot#😀#yeah anyway#apologies i can’t be of any help 😭#but maybe anyone else who sees this can drop some recs for lovely missunrise in the comments?#genuinely apologising for being useless in this department 😔#(even if i wasn’t#if you aren’t a gojo-centric person#i probably wouldn’t have any other recs EXCEPT for gojo/reader ones LMAOOO)#love that man sm
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My comic is so pretty...
The hiatus is letting me take a little extra time on these episodes, and I'm definitely putting it to good use!!!
#almost done with my 8th episode... which will give me. two weeks. of buffer...#id really like at LEAST a month... but to be more comfortable id like two#which means 2-6 more episodes before I come back!#I've got about 7 weeks so its possible. but i do still have to finish book 4#so much to do ..........#I decided for my next comic im doing 3 updates a month.#having 10 days instead of 7 to make an episode is such a huge huge huge difference...#difference in quality and in my health!#anyways the comic is really pretty im really happy with the work im doing rn#the environments especially. im getting to spend a nice amount of time on them and theyre turning out so nicely#its nice to be able to write with a lot of different environments and not have to redo panels when I get to them cause of time#cause every time theres a wild angle? you need a new background...#so sometimes. often actually. there just isnt the time to make the backgrounds for those and i have to make them more flat...#which is fine. it doesnt really affect anything narratively. but. idk. it's kinda sad right?#anyways yeah! 10 days will be much better.#36 episodes a year is about what ive been uploading with my hiatuses on the weekly schedule anyways!#so might as well cut out that super stressful middleman and just commit to that#52 a year is just such a huge difference and i have to accept its not possible to me#i will hurt myself trying to do that. and i want to make comics my whole life!#so i cant push myself that hard now and sacrifice my future. we're gonna go slower after this...#anyways yeah cant wait to come back but also time. if I could get an extra week like a secret one just for me#where theres no chores no nothin just me and my work#thatd be great! so go ahead and do what you gotta do to give me a little pocket dimension#me: ugh i want to return right now...#the more logical me: NO we need the time to finish everything!!!!!! NOT right now!!!!#time and time again#ttawebcomic#comic panels#hiatus stuff#adam and steve
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A Nightmare (a @journey-to-the-au drabble)
Another one! I split this one into two- so that way the people who enjoy fluff and are sensitive to the triggers can pick one or the others. Warning: this is about the Six Eared Macaque and what happens in the Betrothal AU
Trigger warning: Gore, Violence, Cannibalism and Descriptions of the Like. Allusions of SA (nothing happens but if this is a trigger don’t read!)
Did Heaven know of nightmares?
Earth Reaching Willow couldn’t answer that. In all her endless days within the Polestar Palace, among the Orchards of Immortal Peaches, and across the wide clouded bridges and celestial marvels, she had never known anything but tranquility and Peace.
Willow felt the other Monkeys of the troop swirling about her. Mothers bared fangs in fierce smiles while fathers and brothers teetered on grabbing weapons or jumping into the fray. However the being before them, the being that had been living among them, wore a familiar face, spoke in a voice that was warm in tenor.
It was a trusted person, a king of kindness, that had sat before them with grisly gore smeared over his teeth.
This wasn’t Wukong.
The Monkey King slouched, relaxed on the floor of Water- Curtain Cave. The gray stone beneath was dark with the scattered remnants of …
Willow couldn’t. She couldn’t - who had it been? Who had they been ? Willow had spent decades among the troop of Flower Fruit Mountain, years watching her new family grow and flourish. She had welcomed new members, helping mothers tend and care in turn for the babies and teach. She had brought flower petals to scatter upon the bodies of old and fallen friends and family, returning their vessels to the earth and praying for their next reincarnation. Death was not impossible for the Monkeys of the mountain even if age was not a factor now.
Her stomach curled at the scattered red and pink and purple flecks against the gray stone.
Willow had tended and cared for her family. Liu, Rin Rin, Ma, Ba, Beng, Mama Courage, Mama Wisdom, Chestnut- and so many more. She had cared for them because they loved her and she loved them.
Willow cared for them in all the years Wukong had been away. She, wife and friend to king of Flower Fruit Mountain, understood the importance of her position.
This creature that had once been alive was now twitching as it’s body bled out.
Another rending, echoed in the cave. The teeth of this Wukong hooked into the rib cage of the fallen little monkey beneath his foot. The red flesh pulled free of the white bone with a shlap sound. This mimicry of Wukong slurped the flesh and smacked his lips as if in ecstasy.
“Exquisite taste as always.” The voice was so familiar in its sound. Wrong wrong, Willows mind warned, her stomach becoming stone. This isn’t him!
The corpse of the monkey lay near the entrance of the cavern, splayed out in the pose of a running animal having been taken down by a lion. Upon that corpse, casual foot set against its shoulders, was the monarch of the mountain.
Mama Courage was bristled, fangs flashing and eyes full of fury. For all the rage behind him, the creature that wore the skin of their friend, was unperturbed. Instead he dug his claws into the skin and pulled. The sound set her teeth on edge and her stomach to flipping. Something pink and soft was between his claws- and then down his gullet.
The mothers and the distant warriors around the cave watched in horror. Most of the troop was outside, enjoying the everlasting summer of the mountain. Willow wished she had been just a bit faster, just a bit sooner and she could have been among them.
Instead she was stuck inside a living nightmare.
The Wukong turned his head, eyes alighting on one little of the troop adolescents who came too close. Faster than any of them could react, the Wukong had seized the youngster by his tail and dragged him over. The mothers started forward but froze at the pained screams of the little monkey.
“Curious one are you not?” The Wukong grinned, all threat within that smile. He sat the youngster beside him, petting his fur and pulling it close. “Come! Take a bite! This foolish subject shouldn’t have brushed me in his haste to get by. Now he will serve me in the only remaining way he can~”
“Eat! Eat!” With his free paw he gestured to the slaughtered monkey at his feet. The individual had had his throat cut, the blood pooling beneath his dun fur. The great wound on his side had been inflicted while they had been alive, it had happened right before Willows eyes.
Willow didn’t remember what the conversation had been about before. She had been walking out of one of the stone huts, signing to Wisdom beside her. It was the season for apple picking and they were both in a deep conversation about what foods to make with the apples they harvested.
‘Pies?’ Wisdom had puzzled.
‘And jams’ Willow signed back. ‘Tarts and sauces.’
‘You want to make these?’ Wisdom signed as they turned past a curve in the cave.
‘I want to teach others how to cook them’ Willow explained. She had been baking for years now, testing and trying new creations. With so many different types of fruit orchards and with an ever abundance of rotating bloomings and ripenings, Willow couldn’t resist. Apple pies, peach cobblers, plum puddings, candied pears, and strawberry tarts. So many things Willow could make- so many treats she could spoil her family with.
When Earth Reaching Willow had started making her first treats, the smell had begun to attract some of the denizens of the mountain. Little round faces poked through the kitchen windows, eyes wide and noses inhaling. Willow had passed each little one a bit of whatever she had been making- breads full of almonds, ripe watermelons dipped into sugar, orange juice freshly pressed for the porridge she would make- and they had scurried away, excited.
It had only taken three days for the rest of the mountain to be waiting outside her door, eyes eager and arms full of the fruits they wanted made into treats.
‘Teaching will be difficult.’ Courage signed.
‘How so? I like to teach and I think most will have the patience to learn.” Willow countered gently. Then she suddenly had a thought and amended, ‘Maybe not Ba though. I think he will be the one that will possibly try to sabotage me for a prank or steal whatever I make’
Courage laughed her silent laugh. Her eyes twinkled with mirth. ‘If he switches your fruits I will make sure he gets a thorough fruit thrashing. But no- I have no concern of your ability. Only about how much space we may have in the kitchen.’
It was Willows turn to laugh.
The morning had been going so well.
And then.
The two rounded the last curve of the tunnel, coming up to the roaring waterfall that blocked the main entrance to Water Curtain Cave. It’s soft, silver light soothing to see. It was like the mountains voice, forever roaring by them all. Courage paused, grabbing at Willows sleeve.
Willow looked up.
At the great wide flat stone before the waterfall, stood Wukong. A chill crept up Willows spine.
The Wukongs eyes alighted on the two and he smiled broadly, waving.
“Mother! Willow!” He called in friendly tones. “My beautiful wife is just the person I wanted to see !”
Willow felt that chill touch her veins.
He skipped closer eyes dancing brightly. But something was off. There was a shine to his eyes that looked feverish.
Wukong grasped the limp hand of Willows and kissed it. The press of that mouth over her skin felt hungrier, the eyes of his looking upward into her own with … with an expression of love meant for …
For the bedroom.
Willow took her hand from his palm, plastering a small smile onto her face. A wolf was before her. Wearing sheep’s clothing. Willow knew a wolf when she saw one however.
Wukong and her may be husband and wife but he never hinted or tried at more romantic inclinations when they were away from the cloudy courts of Heaven.
As she pulled the hands from his there was another flash, some sort of color burning in his eyes. What was that?
“Hello Wukong.”
“My Love~” His voice was syrupy sweet. “I have missed your company these few nights. Will you indulge me? I have the perfect place picked out! There’s a pond just south of here- and when the moon is out and the water is still, it turns silver and it’s beautiful.”
“It reminds me of your beauty.”
“I would love to,” Willow felt the repulsion rise. She had to fight the urge to pull back. Courtly edicate. She had dissuaded similar trysts and attempts from far more skilled men than this Wukong. But none of them looked like her best friend. “However I’ve promised to bake an apple pie and show your Mother how to make one.”
Courage nodded, signing ‘We must be off, son. The light will soon be behind the mountain and it will be too dark to see.’
Courage grasped her hand, tugging her away.
Wukongs face fell. Another flash in those eyes.
What happened next was all too quick, all too brutal.
Wukong- the wolf in Wukongs skin- moved to catch her hand-
And Willow had retreated, barely escaping his grasping hand.
One moment, Wukong had been trying to grab her attention. Courage had caught her hand, tugging her. Willow had bowed and given her excuses, her apologies. She retreated in relief. And she saw the eyes, finally, change to an ice blue.
The next moment, as one of the many monkeys walked by -was his name Radish or Cloud?- Wukongs eyes flashed.
Wrong-they are blue with red chips within them. Why are they blue ?
It was like the striking of lightning. One minute Wukong had stood, gaze open and full of such a light as to give a dragon nightmares, and the next the world was turned end over end. The monkey had at one moment been brushing past the king and the next he had been pinned to the stone floor. The savage strike had split the side of the little monkey's flank, opening up fur and skin and flesh. Exposing the inner workings of the poor creature in a spray of red so dark as to be black. The Wukong with those painfully bright blue eyes had cleaved the bone of the rib cage as easily as a knife slicing through butter.
The monkey gasped, eyes blinking in confusion. The pain hadn’t registered yet. Only shock. Wukong tugged a bit of pink intestine out of the still writhing monkey and ripped it to shreds.
Blood.
Screaming.
Willow felt her stomach heave.
“I have your attention now ?” Wukong had said.
Not Wukong.
This creature, whoever and whatever it was, was not Sun Wukong.
It couldn’t be.
This Wukong shook the adolescent monkey it had hostage again, yanking at the corpse before him. The noise of the screams had brought the few monkeys still in the caves running, some dragging weapons. Upon seeing however, that the threat was no tiger or jackal or leopard but their own king tearing away at one of his own, had driven all the fight from them. It had left only horror.
The poor monkey face was contorted in a frozen scream. Its eyes were staring sightless. Vacant and grayed over. Gone.
“Come have a taste. I only share the best of meals with the ones I love.” The wrong Wukong spoke, tugging the poor creature forward. He held the flesh closer, eyes blazing blue. The tiny monkey squirmed in his grasp, eyes wild.
“Stop!”
The Wukong froze. The world froze as Willow called out. Her heart raced. Only her heart and the roar of the waterfall dared to make a sound.
She saw the tiny monkey squirming and clawing at the hand that was still about its scruff, whimpering. His eyes, that unusual shade of blue, slanted her way. They burned coldly, wildly, full of one such emotion that Willow couldn’t mistake.
Hunger.
“Oh?”
The Wukong set the monkey back down. He didn’t let go of the poor thing. His eyes were only for her, his attention peaked. Earth Reaching Willow, Eldest princess of the Jade Emperor, threw herself into that woman she had been before her monkey, before Wukong had come into Heaven and offered her the world. She was an actress.
As still as a pond with no ripples. He may be full of a burning ice but I must be colder- I must be that calm within the eye of a hurricane.
Willow pressed her forehead to the floor, bowing. She felt the hands of Courage tugging at her. She kept her head flat to the floor.
I must play this game. Protect my family-
Even from the one who I looks like my friend. For my friend. Wherever he is—
“Has my Wife finally decided to give me attention?” Willow heard the heavy and terrible sound of bone snapping and muscles rending. She didn’t look up. “It has been so long, my love. You’ve left your king….” A harsh crunch of bones, of noise that is the sound of teeth digging into something soft. Snapping it like a twig. “….hungry.”
“Please, let the little one go.” Willow pleaded. She felt the brush of Mamma Courage along her side, Wisdom along the other.
“Lift your head.”
Dread.
She did as she was told, composing her face to serenity. The serenity cannot withstand the horror before her. It cracked.
This Wukongs face is smiling cynically, eyes glacier blue and glowing. In his free hand, the dismembered paw of the poor deceased monkey, cut clean from mid forearm down. The bone had been cracked, the marrow dripping.
“What will you do my Willow?” He asked, shaking the still struggling babe. One of the mother monkeys barked in rage, taking a half step forward. Another stopped her. Willow felt like a mouse caught between a wolf's paws.
“Your husband is very upset at you for ignoring his … advances.”
Nothing. I won’t do anything. I will turn into the smallest speck of sand and let the wind blow me away.
Willow let her fear spin just for a moment. Then she grasped it in her mind and pressed it behind that cold veneer of courtly teachings. She had acted much of her life. She had acted to fool her father, her advisors, the very suitors that saw her as a chess piece to improve their standing within the Polestar Palace Court.
And I will act now- I will hold my horror to best give everyone a chance— a chance to get away. To prevent more deaths.
“I have neglected you husband.” The words smoothly emptied themselves from Willows lips, even as she wanted to snatch them back. Be brave. “It was not my intent to do so. I have been busy helping our family. Forgive me.”
I don't want forgiveness from you. You aren’t my Wukong. He wouldn’t demand attention from me. He wouldn’t ask me for this.
“I’ll forgive you. I’ll be pacified by you.” The imposter sounds almost relieved, as if her words had soothed a burn upon his skin. He shakes the poor baby again, eliciting a squeak and an angry chorus from the other mothers here. Willow is still surprised it is just them in Water Curtain Cave.
A miniature horror show just for them.
“I will even let this little one go, since I am such a benevolent king. No one should say that I, Sun Wukong, didn’t listen to my beloved wife.” He smiled again, staring straight into her soul. “But I want a Kiss.”
“A kiss?”
The Wukong nodded, eyes flickering. A ripple of black and then gone again. “One single kiss. To reaffirm our union. Maybe more … later.”
The ‘later’ sent chills down her spine. But Willow nodded.
“Good! An obedient wife makes a happy life!” He laughed with Wukongs voice, but none of the joy of her Wukong was reflected there. It was twisted, spun into something bent and hideous. A mimicry of joy. A sound to match the horror.
Tears streamed down her face, the only break in the smooth surface of her cool demeanor. Willow leaned forward, about to stand.
“Oh but I am not prepared.” He said. She froze. Something malicious crawled over his face. The imitation Wukong- I refuse to believe this is Wukong- took up the bloody wrist and pressed the still bloody end across his face. Willow felt her horror rise, the gorge in her throat threaten to upheave. He smeared the bloody stump across his teeth, over his lips, across his chin. Like a monsterous paintbrush, this Wukong painted his lips in the blood.
Finally the Wukong drops his captive, the little monkey scurrying up to the group seated before their King. It’s mother scooped them up, pressing them to the soft underside and trying to hide his face from the nightmare. Willow couldn’t look away. Her courtly armor, the thing she had pulled up to cover herself in, shattered into a million pieces as those blue burning eyes fluttered and locked onto her lips.
“What’s the matter darling?” The Wukong holds the arm in one hand, the free one pressed to his face, almost as if he were resting it there. The thing before her must read Willow's repulsion. His smile turns softly, a predator's smile curving away from those gore filled teeth. “Don’t you want to Kiss me?”
#ALRIGHT ITS DONE#part one of this very chilling scene#for journey to the au#sun wukong#jttw au#Betrothal Au#hcwrites#writing stuff#jttw tag#tw gore mention#tw blood#yeah this one’s a bit brutal#the next part is gonna be much softer - I have it written already but Tumblr just takes away all the little formatting I do and FIGHTS ME#six eared macaque#he’s an absolute monster in this#poor Willow I’m so sorry#also I love momma courage so much#I wanted to give her a highlight in this just because she fit so well with the setting#Willow is gonna spoil all da baby monkeys on the mountain with treats she’s learning and can bake and she’s joking with Courage when BAM#Blue spooky eyes bastard pops up.#I Wrote Willow hopefully well.#I Kinda have her some of my own ace perspectives on this#I DONT know how else to tag this lol#no music I listened to this time - listened to an audio book while writing for work.#fluff will come soon I promise#I just have to fight Tumblr#too many tags WOOPS#hcfanfics
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continue being a little mean to toh fans please it is really irritating how some act like its got the best writing of any modern cartoon
Daawwwww I don't have it in me. TOH fans love it for a reason, and there are legitimately good moments! It's just not the most complex or well-written show out there—which it doesn't need to be—but I also totally get your exhaustion. It gets tiring seeing people praise it so highly over and over again when it's just like...fine. It didn't do nothing but it also didn't do something, you know? It's main couple is cute and queer, but that's pretty much all there is to them. It has a fun cast of characters, but they all tend to fall into archetypes. Luz is a sweet main character, but she doesn't have any real flaws and kinda takes a back seat to Hunter and Eda (the white people lol). Her foil with Philip was interesting...but then they kinda backed off and went the "you and Belos are nothing alike" direction.
((I'm also going to answer this anon with another: ))
And It's not that an unsympathetic villian is bad, or that Belos would even be sympathetic with added backstory, it's just that...there were a lot of interesting things to explore with his character that were left hanging.
Like, while he's definitely not at all a good person, it's intriguing that he would bother to recreate his brother over and over again knowing that each time the grimwalker was going to betray him. It's intriguing that he was even willing to kill his brother to begin with (though Caleb was super underutilized in general). Like, you can give a villain depth without justifying or victimizing them (hi Finnegran from tdp, I'll also add Spider Queen & LBD here). So it just feels like a missed opportunity all across the board. It's still surprising to me that we got a confirmation on the Wittebane backstory through an unrelated background character, rather than Philip himself (who had literally possessed a main character, and mindscapes had already been well-established....the pieces were all there me thinks).
And obviously it's like, people can love something despite it's flaws, and they can cherish it for the good it has, but they still don't need to praise it as an ultimate form of media, you know? We don't need to pretend toh was this dark and complex story—it was just a story a lot of people liked and resonated with. Which I'm glad it's there for those people, and I'm glad there are options when it comes to queer pieces of media!
That said the show with the best writing of any modern cartoon is The Dragon Prince (streaming on Netflix).
#Monkie Kid while very good is still not that good. I'm sorry lmk. I give you 2nd place. In my heart <3#Though we'll see. If s5 (or beyond) brings back some stuff from s1 the writing might just be that tight#(aka the skeleton key being given to MK in 1x08 & also the 1x01 seal)#Anyways I feel like I've been too much of a hater recently#but gahhh. toh just did not get that deep. it's like fake deep#Let me explain my thoughts:#Lilith cursed Eda. Spent years trying to force Eda into the coven system to undo her own mistake.#Only to then learn that Belos was never going to heal her sister. And does this impact Eda and Lilith's relationship in any way? Not really#Like yeah sure their relationship improves after Lilith leaves the Emperor's coven.#But I can't help but feel like that situation got boiled down to ''Lilith had a good reason for it so we forgive her :p'' and I'm like NO#WHERE'S THE DRAMA#THAT WAS KINDA SUPER FUCKED UP OF LILITH. A LIFE LONG CURSE THAT SHE GAVE HER SISTER. AND WE'RE GONNA LIKE#GLOSS OVER THAT????#tis not story telling for me. At least not any more at this stage in my life.#asks#toh critical
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