#give me disaster richard or give me death

[verysium]

what do you read in your spare time? you’re one of the most eloquent users i know, id love to hear how you find the media you consume and what your favorites are

omg ei 😊 welcome back to the inbox! thank you for your sweet words although i'm probably not qualified enough to be considered the full definition of eloquent. i am going to preface this post by saying that i definitely don't read as much as i should, so this list is not going to be comprehensive whatsoever. the last time i even visited an in-person library was like half a decade ago, and since then my spare time has been nonexistent lmao. anyways, here are some of my favorite/most recent reads as listed by author:

POETRY

richard siken: i think siken is already well-known both in the literary world and in whatever booktok deems is popular culture. if you don't already know him though, he is best known for his poetry collection crush, which delves into themes of obsession, gay love, and violent eroticism. i actually read this chapbook unknowingly. as in i was hounding sketchy pdf download sites at 3 AM and saw a man with bloodied lips on the cover and decided to read it. he basically became my summer fever dream after that. the way he juxtaposes images is seamless, smoother than water. only richard siken can talk about violence without making it sound violent. i also enjoyed his other poetry collection war of the foxes, especially "portrait of fryderyk in shifting light." i think light is a common motif throughout most of his poems, and he manipulates it effortlessly. the most recent piece i read from him is "piano lesson." i have nothing left to say that he didn't already say, so i would just recommend reading it for yourself. he is the og big brain when it comes to word play.

ocean vuong: he's unforgettable, and i mean that literally because nobody forgets a person named ocean. time is a mother was exactly what the name suggests: an exploration of grief, loss, and the rewind of time after his mother's death. some of the poems are almost cinematic in quality. "künstlerroman" is my favorite because it feels exactly like watching a video tape in reverse. i think his most famous work is "someday i'll love ocean vuong." it was the first piece i ever read from him, and to this day, it remains my comfort poem.

silas denver melvin: i only recently discovered him through his chapbook grit. i think he's also on tumblr @/sweatermuppet. he writes a lot on the trans experience, and his work gives me a mix of southern gothic and country vibes. would definitely read his other publications if i had the time.

chen chen: one thing about chen chen is that he always comes to devour. my favorite works from him are "self-portrait as so much potential" and "song of the anti-sisyphus." you have to put on your thinking cap for some of his poems, but once you grasp the meaning, everything makes sense all at once.

franny choi: "disaster means without a star" was the entire inspiration behind my first rin fic. i relate to her more personally in regards to the diaspora experience, but her collections are worth reading in general because of the sheer quality.

pages matam: his poem "piñata" was what got me into slam poetry. his work mostly consists of political commentary which i feel is particularly relevant in today's social climate. "on learning america's english" also resonates with people who have encountered the entire losing/learning immigrant tongues experience.

laura lamb brown-lavolie: i've only read one spoken word poem from her, and tbh i only needed to read one. "on this the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the titanic, we reconsider the buoyancy of the human heart" is my two-headed calf poem. one day i will get this tattooed.

brendan constantine: once again, this was the result of me being chronically online coupled with the boredom of an august heat wave. i found "the opposites game" through TED. honestly, i was a bit unsure about it at first, but it's a cute little poem that makes you really delve into the intricacies of craft.

TEEN POETRY & PROSE

yasmeen khan: she could mouth her words onto every square inch of my body, and i would still be coming back for more. ingraining them into flesh is not enough. "movie stars" is by far my favorite work from her. she writes about femininity and womanhood so profoundly. it's tragic, but really i wouldn't have it end any other way.

kaya dierks: her writing is basically middle-of-nowhere small town stoner teenage life but personified. "crushed" is my favorite piece from her. the soundtrack for this work was definitely by ethel cain, and you cannot convince me otherwise.

FICTION

madeline miller: i was first introduced to her when i read the song of achilles. let's just say that book had me nonverbal for the greater half of three months. it was my metaphorical hatchet. i buried it once, and i never want to dig it up again. i read circe a few years later. the first time was during the blue hour at an airport, right between one red-eye flight and another transfer. i don't even remember that experience because i was heavily sleep-deprived. i read it again recently for a literature course, this time for academic analysis. overall, i enjoy the the heroine-centric narrative. typically, i'm a bit wary of novels with heavy feminist themes because they either project their agenda too strongly or they run the risk of misrepresentation. circe doesn't exactly have that problem. it was more about empowerment and less about exercising power over others.

charlotte brontë: as a historical figure, brontë was questionable, but jane eyre most certainly was not. that book rewired my brain, and that is saying something because i have never read any classic by choice. and it is so important to me that jane was the ugliest, plainest girl you could ever imagine. also cus i unironically enjoy angst, and this book was full of dramatic misunderstandings.

yoko ogawa: i love japanese literature, so there is no reason not to include this one here. "a peddler of tears" is one of my favorite short stories. i did not expect the ending at all, but it was welcome. something about violence, body gore, and dismemberment being framed as romantic and semi-erotic just gets to me. sign me the hell up. hotel iris is a hit-or-miss with some people. either you like the fact that art makes you uncomfortable or you shut it down completely. for me, i was alright with exploring some of its darker themes, but read at your own discretion.

NONFICTION

ross gay: he lives up to his name both in optimism and in carefree joy. probably one of my favorite creative nonfiction authors simply based off the accessibility of his writing style. easy to read and understand but still hits you with the full force of a semi-truck. i would recommend his book inciting joy. it's a collection of essays that delve into grief, but since this is ross gay, he makes it seem like a quintessential part of life.

paul kalanithi: sixteen-year-old me was mind blown by him cus before that doctors were shrewish old men with bald spots and sterile coats, not poetic surgeons who dissected the anatomy of word and recited t.s. eliot in the most heart-wrenching way possible. he is everything i want to become in both life and death. when breath becomes air literally does take your breath away.

[lilabella12]

1317 - Day 2

Life is not easy these first few weeks, but at least the family can give each other comfort. Evan is happy that he can provide for his brother's children, but in order to keep that up he has to work at the barracks again. He's a little bit overwhelmed with all of them sometimes.

Evan: "Daniel, I need to talk to you after breakfast, okay?"

Daniel: "Okay, uncle Evan."

Daniel has to swallow hard. Does their uncle want them to leave? He knows it's too much to care for so many children all alone, he knew from the moment he found out about his mother's death that one day he had to step up for his siblings.

They sit down after the rest of the children have gone out for the day.

Daniel: "Do you want us to leave?"

Evan: "What? No, of course not. You don't have to worry about that. I promised your father to help out with whatever I can and your family. My home is your home for now."

Daniel: "That's.... a relief. I wouldn't know what to do otherwise."

Evan: "You don't have to know, Daniel, you're still a child."

Daniel: "What is it you wanted to talk to me about then?"

Evan: "I need to ride Domino to the barracks. I will be going more often in the next few weeks, I still have to fulfill my services. So I need you to look out for your siblings and the twins, of course. Can you do that?"

Daniel: "Of course I can! After everything you did for us..."

Evan: "Okay. So you'll be in charge while I'm gone."

Daniel: "I would like to ask something as well.... Could I borrow Domino one of these days? I.... want to see my... the house."

Evan: "Daniel, I don't think that's a good idea."

Daniel: "I know, I know... but I need to see."

Evan: "Okay.... okay. But do me a favour and wait a few more days. It's all still very fresh for you."

Evan rides out after that and Daniel watches over the children the whole day.

Leah has used up their last supplies to make them some gruel for breakfast. With William now at age 6 they need more food around the house and Leah is desperate - she sees no other option anymore.

Leah: "I'm going out today, I'll go to the market."

Richard: "What are you going to do?"

Leah: "I'll try to scounge up some food for us for tomorrow...."

Richard: "But you said that you used the last of the money last week. How will you pay for it?"

Leah: "I'll try to see if someone is willing to help?"

Richard: "So you mean you want to start begging? You cannot be serious Leah!"

Leah: "There's no other choice anymore, Richard. I don't like it either, but I need to keep you fed."

Richard is quiet after that, but they don't talk before she leaves.

The weather is a disaster and almost no one is at the market today. Leah waits for the whole day and only manages to make a couple of simoleons. She's devastated... how will they ever make it if this famine keeps going on?

| previous | next |

[tonydaddingham]

LWA: Some more idle thoughts about narrative construction and both seasons, prompted by your reflections about AWCW's inability to see consequences and Aziraphale's already-vivid awareness of them.

Crowley's and Aziraphale's pre-Fall selves are already set into their post-Fall approaches to consequences. Aziraphale, given adequate data, is very good at predicting the most plausible consequences of any given action; unfortunately, he's also very good at predicting consequences when he only thinks he has adequate data, which leads to repeated disasters (both the 1862 fight and the end of s2ep6 being the most obvious examples). It's not an accident that he's good at interpreting prophecy. It may also explain the weird Jane Austen misreading, which has nothing to do with how Aziraphale fell in love (past) but everything to do with constructing an iron-clad narrative in which there's a definite, logical romantic outcome (future). AWCW is politically naive, but fallen Crowley /still/ can't predict what ought to be the completely logical consequences of his actions. (Hence perhaps his own misreading of Richard Curtis, which mistakes the climax of a romcom for its inception.) S1ep1 keeps coming back to the fallout of Crowley pitching his stories too well to his demonic audience. He takes down the cell tower and does himself in, turns the M25 into a sigil and both gets trapped on it and temporarily murders an awful lot of people, and...then there's my favorite bugbear. Fans tend to overlook the likely outcome of Aziraphale giving in to Crowley's manipulation and killing the Antichrist, thanks to Madame Tracy stepping in, but beyond the cruelty /this is not something that Aziraphale could have survived/ (figuratively or literally). I was thrown straight out of the S2 episode in which Crowley gives away the entire bodyswap to Gabriel/Jim during his "protective" outburst, because as script-writing goes that there was a decision, but I have to grouchily concede that if Gaiman were to show up and remind me about the child murder business, he would have a point about narrative plausibility.

Crowley genuinely doesn't appear to believe that his relationship with Aziraphale has a developmental narrative. There's no story to be told about it. As I've said here before, his accounts of their relationship do not square either with what's on the screen or with what the actors have said they're playing. For Crowley, they've always been friends, they've always been a couple, they've always had the same kinds of conversations, whereas what's dramatized onscreen is a more heavily-romanticized take on the /book/ narrative, in which they gradually become friends over the course of centuries. There's no sign that /Aziraphale/ believes they've always been friends or a couple, which may be one of the reasons that Crowley's confession doesn't land.* In fact, one of the things that is now starting to bug me is the problem of Aziraphale's relation to Crowley-as-angel, because Aziraphale's problematic assumptions about fallen Crowley's continuity with AWCW (he's not trying to reverse-engineer Crowley, he really believes demon!Crowley effectively still /is/ angel!Crowley, just grumpier) mirror Crowley's refusal to acknowledge that his relationship with Aziraphale has an actual plot.

My take is that Aziraphale could obviously have done a much better job, Crowley-wise, of accepting the Metatron's proposal, but there's nothing to indicate that he could have done anything /else/. It's not just a mirror of Beelzebub's ep1 proposal to Crowley, but a warped mirror, in which the whole point of the "coffee or death" dialogue is that the Metatron is not really offering Aziraphale a choice in the matter.

afternoon LWA, hope you're well!!!✨

i didn't think to look laterally (not to this extent, anyway) at aziraphale and crowley when comparing their pre-fall selves with them later on in the narrative, but that's really fun to consider!!!

i absolutely love this interpretation of aziraphale's inner thought process, because whilst i had never really thought to see aziraphale as having an analytical personality type, he absolutely does; his approach to pretty much anything appears to be very systematic. in fact, im struggling somewhat to think of an instance where im confident that aziraphale reacts completely intuitively... maybe when he squares off against satan (crowley comes up with the time-stop, but where aziraphale chooses to face the devil down feels like he does so without any idea of how it could end)? any other action aziraphale takes, or words he says, feels like they've been very carefully deliberated over before delivery, even if he knows the outcome is going to be... well, shit.

you mention 1862 and ep6 as two examples, but, to me, aziraphale's way of thinking vs crowley's (which i'll come back to) is just encapsulated neatly in the entirety of s1; there are so many examples of where aziraphale consistently reacts to incoming data (when he discovers it or - when he deigns to - when crowley tells him stuff), and acts accordingly, and then immediately cycles back to analysing the result when it doesn't work.

my day-job (GO is practically The Other Job at this point) is largely based around analysis and research, and i regularly use a few thought models (maybe not consciously, but it's second nature at this point) in approach to a problem/question. so looking at the overall context of s1, aziraphale appears to follow a similar process:

scanning (identify the problem: the apocalypse)

analysis (gathering information/data, and identifying mitigating factors or outlying data: e.g. the hellhound conundrum, agnes' prophecy, adam is in tadfield, heaven actively wants the apocalypse)

response (how can the problem/question be addressed, and take into account any extraneous data that may affect the result: e.g. stop the dog, return to tadfield, engage shadwell and the WA, consult a higher authority through the portal, finds a human to 'possess' and get to tadfield)

assessment (the impact of the response, and any splinter effects or conclusions that the response initiated: e.g. realising that they had the wrong boy, identifying the right boy, where the apocalypse would happen, and that he and crowley were alone in stopping it themselves).

the last bit is especially indicative to me of aziraphale being analytical; he hears crowley say that god would not speak to him, but he still tries because it's a viable solution to scrutinise, and when it fails he immediately re-evaluates and then contacts crowley to try out an alternative, and share the information he has, because ultimately crowley ended up - on this count - being correct in his own initial, instinctive assessment.

obviously those phases of problem-solving throughout s1 are non-linear, and instead completely cyclical; aziraphale takes into account different factors and data at individual points in the story, and repeatedly comes up with various options in which to respond to problems as more data materialises - he continuously reassesses. initially, his approach to the problem of armageddon was to Not Act, and allow it to happen, because it was the great plan, and as an angel it was logical to him that whatever god had planned was for the best, was what was always intended, and would only ever be Good because... well, it came from god, right? had he perhaps thought a touch more intuitively, followed his instinct (which is arguably to thwart armageddon, the same conclusion crowley arrived at), he would have probably leapt on the chance to follow crowley's proposal... or possibly even proposed it himself.

but as it stands, he doesn't, and crowley gives him reason after reason to do so. all of this builds as significantly compelling data to aziraphale - to the point that when he's fully analysed (at this point) the potential outcome of Not Acting vs. Acting, he chooses to Act - a conviction that he sticks to. even at the bandstand, he doesnt sway on wanting to stop armageddon, but that the way that crowley proposes they do so not only directly conflicts with aziraphale's moral boundaries (killing a mf child), but also conflicts with aziraphale's sense of logic and reason (running away). and then as a last thought for aziraphale; he goes to instinctively shoot adam when crowley pushes for the last time, and is immediately thwarted by madame tracy - she does it as an emotional, knee-jerk, moral-based, human reaction, "you can't just shoot children!" - but given that that reaction is what aziraphale actually agrees with, it only reinforces that his way of thinking, logically and analytically, is the correct one, just because they happened to arrive at the same conclusion.

but this is where crowley comes in. crowley on the other hand acts very intuitively, instinctively, and i daresay emotionally - his immediate reaction to delivering the antichrist is panic, and to immediately call aziraphale (the narrative at the very least doesn't show any kind of analysis of the issue on crowley's part - would he have arrived at a different response if he had? and plus, as you say, him taking down the phone network was a class A monkey-paw job, well done crowley). but then he goes on to convince aziraphale into stopping armageddon with him (which, admittedly, does work, but only once crowley changes tack, stops invoking the emotional, and instead lays out the logical, does aziraphale agree).

when the issue arises of the hellhound (which, let's reiterate, crowley did not think to tell aziraphale before this point...), and the prospect of their upbringing plan not working because of this, crowley's reflex is to destroy the antichrist completely - but tempt aziraphale into doing it. when aziraphale pushes back on this more resolutely at the bandstand, crowley's immediate instinct is to just run. fair enough, given that crowley ends up being correct that aziraphale's resolution to beseech to heaven will just go ignored, but he similarly doesn't consider that aziraphale needs to test the hypothesis first, engage a more methodical and strategic approach, before resorting to more scorched-earth measures.

but as you say, this definitely harks back to the pre-fall scene. narratively, we still don't have any confirmation on what leads to aziraphale having any concept of punishment, or a sense of consequence; there is no iron-clad context (that I can see anyway!) as to why aziraphale would start to formulate this rationale - that asking questions might lead to a larger, damning (ha) consequence - when we can only surmise up until this point that angels would consider their creator as benevolent and omniscient.

AWCW presumably doesn't mean anything nefarious behind his questions (i think that can be reliably interpreted from his behaviour and delivery), so why would god ever punish him? this is beside the point, however; in any case, crowley tends to rush to a response, to act, without stopping to consider other factors, other data, and the potential consequences. in the pre-fall scene, if he had acknowledged the warning, the 'data', as it were, that aziraphale was giving to him (that something could go wrong if he continue the path he's walking), he might have arrived at the same action but with considerably more caution, and potentially prevented what happened to him (which, in contextual hindsight, is not necessarily a good thing). we don't have the full narrative yet to tell us what exactly happened during AWCW's fall, but it does seem like crowley is a chronic case of "fuck around - find out."

in this respect i personally find it entirely in character - and rather in-keeping with crowley's overall narrative in both s1 and s2 - that crowley reveals the ruse of the bodyswap in s2; he's not thinking about the consequences that it could have, but thinking entirely based on instinct. he's not thinking about whether gabriel/jim might remember the information, whether gabriel (regardless of his presumed reformation of character in ep6) might exploit that information, but entirely acting on the emotional wave that gabriel is posing a direct risk to aziraphale's safety and wellbeing. plus, we don't know how long he was sat in justine's restaurant for; it's entirely possible that he was three sheets to the wind by the point aziraphale happens upon him.

once again! not sure i arrived at a point! but i think in hindsight this is a really interesting way to read the final fifteen; it's fairly obvious that crowley is acting and reacting emotionally during the feral domestic, and aziraphale is - as metatron-aziraphale theories are indicating at the moment - acting and reacting based on a conclusion he's arrived at from data we've potentially only partially seen/data hidden in plain sight. but then we switch to aziraphale saying "i need you!", which is a hitherto uncommon emotional outburst from him, and crowley... saying nothing. is that crowley's way of thinking logically, analytically? because anything he says is not going to change the outcome - aziraphale will ascend, he will not, and they will still be apart?

on the note of their relationship, it's a really interesting dynamic - how crowley and aziraphale both see it from their perspectives. on one hand, you have aziraphale that goes from crush, to acquaintance, to confidant, to friend, to best friend and person he's in love with. crowley's perspective is... well, it is the same, right? so why does he retrospectively suggest that it's something that it, by all accounts, wasn't? look, maybe crowley was in love from the wall, immediately fell for aziraphale when he told him about the sword - but that's not what's actually shown in the narrative, to the audience. so... if he did, did he even realise it? is that why he looks back on their history as being something that, as far as shown to the audience, it isn't?

the s1 flashbacks are all shown from aziraphale's perspective (why am i only realising this now) - mesopotamia, golgotha, rome, arthurian england, 1601, 1793, 1827, and 1941 all show aziraphale first. the scenes are all set up with aziraphale opening them. it's only eden, uz, 1862, and 1967 that show crowley first... and all of them are pivotal moments for crowley's character development, as well as the development of their relationship specifically. that they learn to confide in each other, then they learn to trust in each other, then they learn the extent of what they mean to each other, and then they learn (or acknowledge) the danger of them being together.

so actually - does crowley think that there's no plot to their relationship? or is it that by 2023, he counts on the fact that the plot has already happened? that the biggest problem they confronted in his view - the holy water and the breaking away from heaven and hell - has been resolved (see: it hasn't), and that they've now reached the happily ever after? rather than the fact that we are actually only just getting to the climax of their personal story? which is also likely the stage that aziraphale was at by ep5, and is considering that crowley, by the time of the confession, is still a chapter ahead? "you go too fast for me, crowley."

(christ i don't even want to know the word count of this answer)

and this is similar potentially to how aziraphale sees crowley own angel-to-demon-to-just-crowley development; that he thinks that crowley as a person would want to be an angel again, "just like the old times, only even nicer", because why wouldn't he? he's a good and kind person, why wouldn't he want to be restored to the station and to the place that - in aziraphale's view - inherently embodies that? heaven has been corrupted, and he could make a difference, but heaven was always meant to be the place of good... right?

well, once again, aziraphale is without data - he doesn't, presumably, fully understand why crowley couldn't ever become an angel again, couldn't set foot in heaven again (not in that capacity, at least). so the conclusion he draws absolutely misses the mark; thinks this is the long-awaited happily-ever-after for crowley, when actually crowley is perhaps a chapter or two behind. s2 has shown more that crowley is able to somewhat accept that he is a good person, but he still has a way to go before he fully acknowledges it, and reconciles that with the, we can only guess, full circumstances of his fall.

last point - so glad that someone else spotted the mirror of the beelzebub proposal in ep1 to the metatron proposal in ep6; i think i gasped when i realised the implication of that conversation between beelzebub and crowley!!!✨

[nitrateglow]

Spooky Season 2024: 32-36

Frenzy (dir. Alfred Hitchcock, 1972)

Hitchcock's penultimate film involves Scotland Yard's search for a sex-killer known as the Necktie Murderer. When a divorced matchmaking agency director named Brenda is the next victim, evidence points to her ex-husband Richard, a down-on-his-luck barman who just lost his job. In reality, the killer is fruit-seller Bob Rusk, an amiable sociopath who uses the circumstantial evidence against Richard to his advantage.

Frenzy is Hitchcock's nastiest film. The tone is as bleak and nihilistic as his work ever got, and the violence-- now unencumbered by censorship demands-- remains brutal, even by modern standards. The more I see it, the more impressed I am with the film, particularly its strong sense of time and place. The film captures London in the early '70s, giving it a time capsule quality. The minor characters are all vividly written and performed, coming off as real people and giving the setting even more of a lived-in feel.

Subspecies (dir. Ted Nicolaou, 1991)

Michelle is one of a trio of female college students going to Romania to study the local folklore. Unfortunately, her friends become vampire chow for Radu, a vampire with Nosferatu fingers and sloppy dinner etiquette. And he's got his sights set on her next...

Subspecies is the first in a series of direct to video movies about Radu, a truly delightful villain who toes the line between menacing and camp silliness. To be honest, these films aren't that great, but they're really fun, especially if you watch them with friends.

The Red Queen Kills Seven Times (dir. Emilio Miraglia, 1972)

Sisters Kitty and Evelyn despise one another. Their grandfather, fearing a family curse which says one sister will murder the other, leading to the killed sibling resurrecting then going on a killing spree, tries to prevent them from hating one another more. Unfortunately, a cat fight between the two women ends with Evelyn's accidental death and Kitty's hiding the corpse with the aid of a cousin. However, some time later, a red-cloaked figure with Evelyn's features starts murdering people in Kitty's social circle. Is the supernatural at work or is this the result of a more mortal plot?

The Red Queen Kills Seven Times mashes up traditional giallo tropes with what feels like an old dark house 1920s murder mystery. I picked this as one of my favorite new-to-me movies last year and it held up on rewatch. It's stylish and spooky, and has a phenomenal soundtrack.

The Birds (dir. Alfred Hitchcock, 1963)

When playgirl Melanie Daniels comes to the quiet California town of Bodega Bay, she expects to engage in flirtatious games with local catch Mitch. Instead, she shows up just in time for the bird population to start pecking out the eyes of every human in sight.

What can I say about The Birds? It's a true classic, less a sclocky disaster movie than a character piece about a variety of grieved, fearful characters. I love it more and more every time I watch it.

Kuroneko (dir. Kaneto Shindo, 1968)

After a pair of peasant women are raped and murdered by samurai, they return from the dead as vengeful ghosts sworn to kill the class of men who brought about their deaths. However, they are given pause when a particular young samurai comes along-- a former farmer who happens to be the younger woman's husband and the older woman's son. Can they kill him or will their lingering human emotions win out?

Kuroneko is one of the best ghost movies of all time. It is both heartbreaking and chilling, with interesting moral dilemmas for both the living and dead characters. The visuals are absolutely sublime, with deep shadows and characters emerging from the darkness in striking ways. Honestly, I do not want to spoil it-- it's incredibly good.

[bloodbank4050]

2020 look back: a musical compilation of events

(Each number is a significant event in the year!):

Prologue-

“Lead into Demise” Kingdom of Sorrow

“Jackboot Jump” Hozier

January –

“Disco Inferno (Australia Version)” The Trammps [OR “You Cunt” Once Human]

“I Quit” Hepburn

"(Kill Me) Ce Soir" Golden Earring [OR “WW3 Blues” Bob Dylan]

"Impeach the President" The Honey Drippers [OR “Die” Badflower]

"Sportstar" Alex G

February –

“The New Plague” Gwar

“A Woman In a Man’s World” Chaka Khan

March –

“It’s the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine)” R.E.M

"Don't Stand So Close to Me" The Police

"Stock Market Blues" Hank Williams Jr.

April –

"Unemployed" Tierra Whack [OR "Young, Dumb, and Broke" Khalid OR “I Can’t Hug My Mama” Beth Hatchett Norwood OR “Rx (Medicate)” Theory of a Deadman]

“Another One Bites the Dust” Queen

“I saw Elvis in a U.F.O” Ray Stevens

“Locust” Machine Head

May –

"Party in the U.S.A." Miley Cyrus [OR “American Idiot” Greenday OR “Another brick in the Wall part 2” Pink Floyd OR “Disaster Party” Magic Giant]

"Lord of the Hornets" Robert Calvert

“We Didn’t Start the Fire” Billy Joel [OR “Breathless” The Corrs]

“Mr. Spaceman” The Byrds

‘Tutti Fruitti” Little Richard

June –

“Disco Inferno (USA Version)" The Trammps [OR “I Predict a Riot” Kaiser Chiefs]

"Take Me to Church" Hozier [OR “Sympathy For The Devil” The Rolling Stones]

July-

“Killing in the Name Of" Rage Against the Machine [OR “God Save Us All (Death to POP)” Sum 41 OR “Fuck Tha Police” N.W.A. OR “Bat Out of Hell” Meat Loaf]

"Mothers of the Disappeared " U2

"Rocket Man" Elton John

“Nowhere Man” The Beatles [OR “This is America” Childish Gambino]

“Hamilton” Lin Manuel Maranda

“Please Mr. Postman” The Marvelettes

“Robot Man” Connie Francis

“For What It’s Worth (1967)” Buffalo Springfield

August-

“eXplosion” Anitta, Black Eyed Peas

"Wildfire" DeTrek

"Ramblin’ Man" The Allman Brothers Band

"Zombie Zoo" Tom Petty

"Smells Like Teen Spirit" Nirvana [OR “California Love Remix” 2Pac ft. Dr. Dre & Roger Troutman OR “Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard” Paul Simon]

“Rock You Like a Hurricane” (x2) Scorpions

“7 Shots” Volbeat

“Wakanda Forever” Heiakim

September-

“Notorious B.I.G.” Biggy Smalls

“Superbug” King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard

“Sinking Ship” Cake

“I’m Going to Venus” Adam Brand

“1 Sided Love” BlackBear

“Down with the Sickness” Disturbed

“1040 Blues” Robert Cray

October-

“You give me Fever" Peggy Lee

“Runnin’ With the Devil” Van Halen

“Fly on the Wall” Bobby V

“Somthin’ Bad” Miranda Lampert

“The Hopeless Housewife” Bad Religion

“Masturbation Blues” David Allen Cole

“Live and Let Die” Paul McCartney & Wings

“Blue Moon of Kentucky” Elvis Presley

November-

“Wires” The Neighborhood” [OR “Impeach God” Dethklok]

“Four Seasons” Vivaldi

“Here Are Many Wild Animals” A Camp

“I Lost on Jeopardy” Dr. Demento/ Weird Al

“Vaccine” George Lynch [OR “Uncivilization” Biohazard]

December-

"Telescope” Arti Manchinii

[magikalbookie]

Update

Well, well, well. It has been a while since I have posted here. Apologies for the hiatus. I will say that I finished that book, A Tale of 7 Elements, and I have purchased many books since then. I am mostly keeping track of my book reading on Goodreads but not always giving reviews or summaries of what I have read. In the past few days, I was inspired to start writing about the books I’m currently reading, so that is why I’m back. Honestly, I doubt that I will get a chance to finish all the books I’ve managed to collect since I mostly read when I feel inspired to.

Here is a list of books I’ve recently purchased in the past 24 months and I hope to read. They are listed in no particular order other than just by grabbing what’s nearest to me. 1. Andrija Puharich, The Sacred Mushroom: Key to the Door of Eternity 2. Matias Flury, Downloads from the Nine 3. R. Gordon Wasson, Soma: Divine Mushroom of Immortality 4. Willy Ley, Another Look at Atlantis 5. Katherine Routledge, The Mystery of Easter Island 6. David Blaine, Mysterious Strangers: A Book of Magic 7. Mark Wilson, Mark Wilson’s Complete Course in Magic 8. Time-Life Books, The Spirit World 9. Richard Erdoes and Alfonso Ortiz, American Indian Myths and Legends 10. Reader’s Digest, Bizarre Phenomena: Quest for the Unknown 11. Time-Life Books, Utopian Visions 12. Time-Life Books, Mystic Places 13. Time-Life Books, The Mystical Year 14. Arthur Lyons and Marcello Truzzi, Ph.D., The Blue Sense: Psychic Detectives and Crime 15. Patricia Mercier, Crystal Skulls & The Enigma of Time: A Spiritual Adventure into the Mayan World of Prophecy and Discovery 16. Tracie Long, Shamanism 17. Jan Budkowski, Runes 18. Bernice Cockram, Sacred Geometry 19. Joylina Goodings, Auras 20. The Supernatural, Visitors From Outer Space 21. Rav Berg, The Power of Kabbalah: 13 Principles to Overcome Challenges and Achieve Fulfillment 22. Dr. Joe Dispenza, Becoming Supernatural: How Common People Are Doing the Uncommon 23. Preservation Press, Psychic Files of the CIA: Selections From the CIA’s Crest Declassification Document System 24. Arthur C. Clarke, Childhood’s End 25. Jonathan Margolis, The Secret Life of Uri Geller: CIA Masterspy? 26. Sylvia Browne, Book of Dreams 27. Sylvia Browne, End of Days: Predictions and Prophecies About the End of the World 28. Jack Sarfatti, Destiny Matrix 29.Stephen King, The Shining 30. Stephen King, Doctor Sleep: A Sequel to the Shining 31. Dean Radin, Ph.D., Real Magic: Ancient Wisdom, Modern Science, and a Guide to the Secret Power of the Universe 32. Dean Radin, Ph.D., Supernormal: Science, Yoga, and the Evidence for Extraordinary Psychic Abilities 33. Richard Lloyd Parry, Ghosts of the Tsunami: Death and Life in Japan’s Disaster Zone 34. Al Koran, Bring Out the Magic in Your Mind 35. Ingo Swann, Penetration: The Question of Extraterrestrial and Human Telepathy 36.  Byron Janis with Maria Cooper Janis, Chopin and Beyond: My Extraordinary Life in Music and the Paranormal 37. Bradley and Bradley, Psychic Phenomena: Revelations and Experiences 38. Colin Wilson, The Occult 39. Andrija Puharich, Beyond Telepathy 40. Three Initiates, The Kybalion 41. Harriet A. Washington, A Terrible Thing to Waste: Environmental Racism and Its Assault on the American Mind 42. Final Fantasy XIV, Chronicles of Light 43. Kazushige Mojima, Traces of Two Pasts 44. Chocobo and the Airship: Final Fantasy Picture Book I’d be lucky to read half of these. There are more books that I’ve purchased but not listed, as well as books that I’ve purchased and finished reading (which are recorded on my Goodreads account.) I hope not to call this an obsession, but I am strongly interested in paranormal and magic topics due to personal experiences but also perhaps an innate or intuitive calling to learn. The thing is that if I’m reading and I’m not learning something profound or “aligned with intuition” then it is hard to continue reading because it is not as important to me at this time. But I accept that if I don’t finish, or if I take a break, it’s okay. I don’t have to tell myself that I lack discipline, it is just that other information is more important at this time. Anyway, wish me luck in finishing these books!

[out-of-heaven-and-hell]

Things were starting to calm, at least so had Belphegor thought. Thanks to Satan they had gotten all of the injured properly into the hospital and they were all currently being treated. No doubt there was still work to be done, victims to be relocated with their family, many that needed time to recover and that's not even mentioning all the paperwork that needed to be done.

But just like with all disasters, the worst would end and things would settle.

At least, that was until she saw one of her surgeons unconscious being carried out of the operating room.

(Tw; Medical, minor gore, blood and death)

"What happened?" she rushed over, a list of explanations going through her head as she looked over the now fallen surgeon. No outward injuries, she knew this surgeon and they were healthy with no history of seizures, there most certainly wasn't a gas leak and-

"She just collapsed." a male resident spoke, "We were doing an open heart surgery and she just fell over, I think she just fell faint at the damage-"

"She's a surgeon Richard, they just don't collapse for no reason! She's operated several times without issue you can't just-" a pause, the pieces falling into place, "You overworked her didn't you?"

He didn't need to say anything, his face said it all. "I-"

"No! We have discussed this issue several times before, this is a high demanding job and we all work long hours, but we need to rest. Our staff is useless if you force them to go for 18 hour shifts with no break! I-" she was enraged, she was never quick to anger but this upset her on a deeper...personal level. However, for as much as she could lecture and rant, there was someone in the operating room cut open with no surgeon. "You're on suspension until notice! If I find out any other staff are collapsing because you refused to give them breaks you might not have a job to return to at all!"

With that, he was pushed out of the way. Belphegor walked in, practically summoning proper medical gear around her as she walked over to succubi on the operating bed. Dammit, Richard. This woman's lost a lot of blood already and she has so many shards around the nearby tissue, she can only be thankful the heart itself wasn't punctured. But she could not afford to be in surgery for much longer.

"Tweasers, cauterizatiers, now!" she barked at her other medical staff, hands working quickly but diligently. One piece removed at the time, minimizing the bleeding along the way. She might still need a blood transfusion afterwards but she should be able to make it and-

And that's when the body started to shake.

Her eyes widened, the patient was entering a seizure. A violent one at that and her body could not stay still. "Dammit!" she cursed out, this was not the time for this, "I need a dose of Levetiracetam! Go! Go! Go!" she yelled out, the staff running while Belphegor held the patients head, the heart monitor beeping like crazy and the heart in her still opened chest was beating rapidly.

"Stay with me...stay with me....we'll get some medicine, we'll get this settled. We'll-" a sound erupted from the succubi, even without the anesthesia the seizure she was experiencing guaranteed she didn't hear a god damn thing and even if she did there was no way for her to communicate anything and the operation couldn't continue like this.

The bleeding increased, Belphegor placed her hand on top of it gently but she wasn't staying still. Belphegor couldn't force her to stay still and the staff in the room were away getting medication to ensure this seizure would stop and even then depending on her medical condition that might not work.

Blood was rapidly pouring from her. The patient rasped for more air. The other staff arrived. The monitor deadlined.

Belphegor said nothing. Removing her now blood stained hand from the patient, her expression was blank and when in doubt she replied on apathy above all else. Losing this woman hurt, whether she said it out loud or not but she could not afford to be emotional during times like these. Especially with other living patients still waiting on treatment.

"Time of death. 20:15."

[horrorportraitmag]

PUMPKINS ON THE ROAD! By RC Rumple

Night after night, death comes to a small Midwestern town. Young, old, rich, poor … all are targets. Townspeople hide in their homes praying they’ll be safe from the violent murderer lurking about. It’s not a question of if the night will take another victim, but how many!

CHECK OUT THE BOOK HERE

About the Author

Richard “Rich” Rumple currently resides in Indiana, with previous residences in New York, Chicago, Mobile, Baton Rouge, Lexington, and Europe.

With Pumpkins On The Road, he returns to the Thriller/Horror genre after a two-year writing hiatus due to the personal hardship of personally discovering his elderly father dead and then having to clean up and repair a hoarding disaster in that home. During his time away, only a couple of short stories in Horror anthologies could be managed as he experienced the real-life horror of concentrating on removing trash and expired food items, as well as having to repair the damage they had caused to the interior structure and such of the home.

Finally, with these tasks behind him, he was able to return to his writing. “Some of my fans think it strange that I go from performing stand-up to writing horror. Actually, the two compliment each other. Performing helped me to understand audience needs and expectations. Writing helps me take those to a new level.

People need an adrenaline rush from time to time, and creating that gives me one, too. It’s similar to when I did stand-up comedy and got the audience laughing–there is no better feeling than to be able to take their minds off of their daily problems and provide them an escape.”

[roxannepolice]

Oh, I definitely didn't mean to make it sound like I think acting isn't important in making a character, because it absolutely is, and all the examples you brought up illustrate it excellently! Maybe I should make it clearer that this is about my subjective experience: because yes, an actor can make a character out of nothing, but I personally won't say the final result is "great"; I will say "the actor salvaged what they could".

And this is what I mean about writing at least not getting in the way: Capaldi made an excellent character out of sometimes mediocre writing, but not writing that was actively getting in the way of the fleshed out character he was playing. And the few cases where the writing did undermine the character work is, basically why, for all that Twelve is one of my character defining faves, I just can't agree he's the absolutest flawlessest peak Doctor ever. Case in point: no amount of Capaldi's microexpressions when he looks at his face in The girl who died will change the fact the logic of going from "save anyone" to "it's my moral obligation and responsibility to avoid even a single casualty in a conflict I had a hand in, even if that means I'll damn her to immortality that I recognise is not a great fate", a logic made explicit by the writing, is piss poor. The necessary reflections about Ashildr's/Me's life sucking sometimes, or even the fact that she was involved in Clara's death, don't change the general message that this was the right thing Twelve did back then. To contrast, the reason Ten's speech in VOTD works is not only Tennant's acting, imo: it's also the fact that the Doctor is wrong. He's not going to save the lives of all the people he's addressing, in fact he'll save less than a half of them, and one will die specifically to save him. The speech is cheesy and pompous, and Tennant delivers it with all the seriousness of a Greek tragedy because this here is the statement of pompous hubris. If the episode ended with Astrid and Banakaffalata getting married and moving in with Richard Bucket Mr Copper while Slade learns the error of his capitalist ways and gives half his wealth to van Hoffs and the other half to casualties of space travel disasters, then no amount of Shakespeare training would have made the speech actually good, at least in my eyes.

Yk, hands down my biggest problem interacting with any fandom, but especially DW, is that I literally can't even begin to understand approaching a character independently of the writing. Like, the statement "This is a great character, just poorly written" is straight up an oxymoron to me. I sometimes get the impression there's this weird belief in a platonic ideal-like "true history" version of a character that got denigrated by hostile chroniclers and [insert hegemony-adjacent adjective] Hollywood directors or something. Belief based mainly on the fact the actor did what they do for a living. Which is just. Again, something I can't even begin to process.

[noa-ciharu]

'kay i want book recs that will give me psychological damage please!

Here comes the psychological damage! Also I'm so sorry it took me few months to write this out :<

Alright, since it's been a while since I read classics, out of books I can rec: The Stranger (Albert Camus, 1942), Myth of Sisyphus (Albert Camus, 1942), Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dolstoevski, 1844), Notes from Underground (Fyodor Dolstoevski, 1864), The Metamorphosis (Franz Kafka, 1915), No Longer Human (Dazai Osamu, 1948), The Collector (John Fowles, 1963) and let's add Under Cherries in Full Bloom (Sakaguchi Ango, 1966) for absurdity's sake.

Now if you want mangas (which I have a hunch you do), then here are some:

Baraou no Souretsu (Aya Kanno; 17 vols, 2013-2022)

I've read this one a month ago and I still can't get it out of my mind. It's a dark historical shojo tragedy, genre rarely seen nowadays. Story is about prince Richard, who is born neither male nor female - with both sexes actually. From very beginning his mother cast him aside and called a demon that'll bring misfortune to those around him. Needless to say this way of growing up left deep scars on Richard as he cannot accept himself. Manga is based on historical happenings (Wars of Roses I believe), so expect alot of dramas and tragedies. Plot is unique in my opinion, especially the regression of characters where instead of becoming better versions of themselves they fall into their characters flaws. Richard and other characters are extremely well written, struggles he faces regarding love and vulnerability are realistically portrayed. I especially liked Richard's multiply yet all tragic in a manner love interests and bonds he formed with them; one of rare romances in mangas I genuinely loved. Art is beautiful, I fully recommend this manga (although it is very dark and brutal).

Earl Cain/ GodChild (Yuki Kaori, 8 vols, 2001 - 2003)

Again, historical tragic gothic shojo with shonen ai vibes. Manga has two names if that's confusing you; why that's the case however, I have no clue. Set in 19th century England, a young nobleman Cain solves mysteries and crimes; he's followed by his servant Riff and 10 year old half sister Mary. He succeeded position as family head after early death of his father. Series goes on as rather tame for a bit but with dreading feeling of disaster lurking under corner. Once facades drop, they drop for real and series takes on a rather dark, conflicting and dramatic turn. That's all I can say without spoiling things too much. Artstyle is amazing (I mean, it's Kaori Yuki). Characters are amazingly written, especially Clain and Mary. Full with symbolism, even main character's name is a symbol of its own. Once more, series is rather dark and can be heavy to read to it might not be everyone's cup of tea. But in term of psychological damage and drama, as well as Shakespearean tragedy, it's amazing.

Bastard (Youngchan Hwang, 5 vols; 2014 - 2016)

Now I must clarify - I never read this one to the end. Not because I disliked it but because it scared life out of me. Psychological horror, very disturbing and gore. Jin is the quiet protagonist that goes on with his life; however right from the very start you can tell there's something deeply unsettling about him. Quite uncanny atmosphere goes on for a few intro chaps where you're trying to figure out what's wrong with Jin and what's the source of his terror. Then another shoe drops: his father, who is respectful business man on surface, is a deranged serial killer who sells organs and for years Jin had unwillingly been his accomplice. I've googled this manhwa for images and saw pics of him and.... kudos to author how distorted and horrific he's drawn and how effective horror is in his works but I'll be needing therapy. This is a webton, so expect amazing graphic, horror and jumpscares (effective one to the boot) and alot of psychological drama and gore. This webton deranged me, I couldn't sleep for days, I had to drop it for sake of mental health. But I have nothing but praises for it, best of horror manhwas I've read so far. There are few other manhwas by same author, they're all amazingly written and bring chills to bones in a way that lasts, not simply in terms of jumpscares and horror images but tension and terrific atmosphere.

Tokyo Babylon (CLAMP, 7 vols, 1990-1993)

I have to live up to my reputation of Clamp blog. Don't be fooled by bight colors this ain't a happy manga. Jokes aside, this is another dark shojo with psychological and tragic elements. Protagonist is 16 year old medium Subaru who deals with spirits which are left lingering on Earth and unable to move on due to pain. However what sets this manga apart from rest exorcism media is that focus is on social issues, emotional conflicts and psychological elements; social criticism. There are only three characters (beside chap-per-chap ones) so they're all complex and explored; and quite unique both as individuals and trio. Deconstruction of typical coming of age mangas as tragedy is something that's inseparable from wishes and happiness. Manga had darker undertones and looming sense of dread from beginning but it was still somewhat light because of dynamic main trio head; once the other shoe drops and pretense stops, real tragic nature shows. One of most memorable and tragic/ nihilistic endings I've ever seen in fiction. If you've watched Hannibal I'd say skeleton of underlining plot is pretty similar.

Also Tokyo Babylon has a continuation (although both series can be read on their own, but spoilers) and since that's psychological damage on steroids imma rec it too:

X/1999 (CLAMP, 18.5 vols, 1992 - )

Unfortunately this one has been on hiatus since 2003; but imo is worth the read anyways. Starts as regular shojo but really quickly turns into dark apocalypse psychological drama with some gore. Protagonist is teenager boy named Kamui who returned to Tokyo as mother instructed him before dying. There he finds out he's the one who'll decide fate of World: he's given a choice to either protect it or seek change, bring revolution down to Earth and destroy it. But Kamui doesn't want anything to do with it; he's trying to stay away in misguided attempt to protect those he loves as he believes tragedies follow him. However he cannot escape fate and eventually decides to stay with those he cares about and try to protect them, only for things to go wrong again. X is full of symbolism and dark shojo elements; also tragedies since for 18 vols not once could characters catch a break. Main characters are extremely complexly written, plot is intriguing and artstyle in later volumes one of best I've ever seen in mangas. Bonds between characters and self-destructive wishes are core of manga, as well as (presumably) deconstruction of selfless sacrifice in name of love trope.

Monster (Naoki Urasawa; 18 vols, 1994 - 2001)

This one is more famous, you've probably heard of it. Psychological thriller mystery. Dr. Kenzo Tenma is a surgeon in one hospital in Germany. One night he's faced with a difficult decision: twins Joahn and Anna arrive to the hospital in same time some Major does. Johan has a gun wound to the head - Tenma can operate on only one of them. He chooses to save a boy. Major dies as result and Tenma loses his social status. A decade latter series of strange events start occurring, only for Tenma to realize in the end he saved a 'Monster' that night. He vows to fix that mistake. An amazing series and show, I've seen it long ago so I can't recall too many details. Characters are fleshed out and deeply explored along with psychological elements like what does it take one to become a 'Monster'.

Beside those I can rec Neon Genesis Evangelion (this is a heavy watch/read, you need to be in right mindset for it), Erased (was nice until the ending), Killing Stalking (look, rabid yaoi fangirls ruined this one, from psychological horror perspective this is amazingly written; check trigger warnings beforehand), xxxHolic and Higurashi.

[snowyhobbit]

I'm reading Shakespeare's Pericles Prince of Tyre to help with my If We Were Villains hangover and if you think im dissecting every single line to work out what happened after THAT ending? You're absolutely correct. Let's dive right in.

That whoso ask'd her for his wife,

His riddle told not, lost his life

Right from the beginning, the audience is told that, for someone to win Antiochus' daughter as their love interest, that man must solve a riddle or death would follow. What is James' note to Oliver if not a riddle? More than that, like Pericles, he is reaching out to Oliver, asking him for help. The death that would follow Oliver not solving the riddle would be James Farrow since, even if he does live, he'd remain dead to the world - but of course Oliver notices the hidden message immediately.

So sharp are hunger's teeth, that man

and wife

Draw lots who first shall die to

lengthen life

Here Cleon is lamenting the poverty of Tarsus and he notes how couples are deciding who shall die so the other might live. James made that decision withour Oliver's knowledge but, reading more into the words, we have death being treated as a means to continue living. James was suffering in his despair and he would have thought that the only way he could continue living is as someone else. He chose to let James die but, as an actor, he is practiced at letting one name go before taking up another - thereby lengthening his life.

At the beginning of Act II, Gower returns and remarks:

And he, good prince, having all lost,

By waves from coast to coast is tost:

Till fortune, tired with doing bad,

Threw him ashore, to give him glad

The relevance to James here seems pretty clear. Referring to Pericles as good prince seems notably similar to Oliver calling James worthy prince as they concluded their fateful performance of King Lear. The mention of fortune is also interesting as, in the aftermath of Richard, one way James tries to cope is to give up responsibility and blame fate. It's not inconceivable that James decided to give himself up to fate and let the waves either claim him or throw him onto a new shore to start again.

Then we get to the lines James specifically left for Oliver:

the sea hath cast me on the rocks,

Wash'd me from shore to shore, and left me breath

Nothing to think on but ensuing death:

And have no more of life than may suffice

To give my tongue that heat to ask your help;

Which if you shall refuse, when I am dead,

For that I am a man, pray see me buried.

James is giving Oliver a choice here. After the huge sacrifice Oliver made for him, he wouldn't blame him if he refused this plea for help. If he does, he only requests when I am dead...pray see me buried. James could be asking Oliver to let James Farrow stay dead to the rest of the world - even if he now suspects he may yet live. We can't underestimate the extent of James' guilt when he disappeared - he must have felt he had no right to ask Oliver for anything else whilst simultaneously knowing that he would answer his plea regardless because that's just who Oliver is - always generous to his fellow performers even to own detriment.

This was a goodly person,

Till the disaster that, one mortal night,

Drove him to this.

It is no wonder James returned to this particular play in the years of Oliver's incarceration. Helicanus is lamenting how one mortal night has driven Pericles to the shell he has become. A good man wrecked by a single tragic event. If anyone can relate to that - it's James.

This play is about a tragic figure, who thinks he's lost all, eventually being reuinted with those he loves. These lines are from Pericles' reunion with his wife, Thaisa:

O, come, be buried

A second time within these arms.

We know James has been buried once, lost at sea, and in order to go on I shall be telling myself that he will be buried a second time in Oliver's arms. Pericles Prince of Tyre ends with the joy that comes from a reunion after lovers being separated for years - 14 years to be exact which, if Oliver finds James, will be the same amount of time since the two of them first met at Dellecher.

So if, like me, you've been a little broken by unanswered questions since finishing that last page take heart because I am now more convinced than ever that James and Oliver will be crown'd with joy at last.

[thorinswaggerson]

I am absolutely Bagginshield trash right now and I think it’s because this ship has SO MUCH GOING FOR IT. Here are my thoughts on why. Numbered, because I’m a massive dork.

1. it’s enemies to friends to (in fic) lovers, and that is catnip for me. YESSS fight and grump at each other. Don’t trust each other until the trust is EARNED. Then slowly grow to like one another until the liking evolves into a deep, mutual respect and strong affection, peaking in absolute, feral I-would-die-for-you loyalty. And then KISS EACH OTHER. I am fanning myself like a little old lady in church. I fucking love it.

2. It’s a perfect example of ‘the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one’ trope, or ‘cinnamon roll loves disaster man’. Bilbo is so soft and earnest and sweet and (at first) afraid of his own shadow. He doesn’t want to leave home without his handkerchief for Christ’s sake. And Thorin is such a tough, grumpy cynic. He’s all spiky on the outside, but goes all gooey when he falls for Biblo and I just... I just can’t. Help me

3. SIZE DIFFERENCE KINK. I love a big chonk falling for a little smol. I just do. I am weak for it. And Bagginshield delivers. 

4. Tragic, unrequited love that ends in the most romantic death possible in canon. Just rip my heart out and step on it. Over and over. No, it’s OK. I love it. Please don’t stop. Thorin dying in canon, in Bilbo’s arms, while they (let’s face it..essentially) confess their love for each other? *screams and falls over and continues screaming* So much fix it fic! So much angst to play with. YES PLEASE AND THANK YOU SIRS

5. Gold madness. YES. I am a slut for barriers to love. You must pine and yearn and hope and wait and pine some more, and then there must be misunderstandings and angst and separation and then MORE PINING. And the gold madness is just a perfect device for this. It’s almost like PJ wrote these screenplays while watching endless romantic comedies. Oh no! Bilbo and Thorin like each other! They’re getting really close emotionally! Lets make sure and shove a barrier right in there so we can make them pine even harder. Just fucking end me now. 

6. The chemistry between Richard and Martin is palpable. You can’t fake that sort of thing. They work well together, and so Bilbo and Thorin work well together. It’s magical. 

7. Thorin Fucking Oakenshield. How sexy is it possible to make one dwarf? I know he looks nothing like the original novel intended, but if you give me Richard Armitage in an armored tunic, with long, silky, rippling hair and big, broad shoulders, I will absolutely lose my shit and go off the deep end. I am gone on him. Thorin 4ever.

[annecoulmanross]

Top Ten Historical Figures Done Dirty by The Terror (2018)

So, we all know and love Dave Kajganich and Soo Hugh’s beautiful show, right? Of course. But it’s important to set the historical record straight, especially when there are real people’s life-stories and legacies on the line. 

(NOTE: this list is biased heavily toward upper-class individuals because the historical record does a better job preserving those voices for us. Was the real Cornelius Hickey as nasty a person in real life as he was in the show? Almost certainly not – which is why we’re given “E.C.” as a nod to the fact that we shouldn’t assume these characters represent real historical villains, even when the narrative makes them antagonists; HOWEVER, not everyone in the show was given the same courtesy as the OG “Cornelius Hickey.” Which is why this post exists – to show you the best sides of some people you might not otherwise appreciate for their full humanity. That being said, keep in mind the sources used – and, for instance, who has surviving portraits and who doesn’t.)

Thus, below the cut, I give you this list, (mostly) in order from #10 (honorable mention, only somewhat slandered) to #1 (most hideously maligned) – my list of characters from The Terror who deserved better. 

(Please don’t take this too seriously – I know there are reasons why choices had to be made in order to make this show work on television, and I do very much love the end product. But I also genuinely think it’s a good idea to remember the real people behind these characters, and think critically about how we depict them ourselves.) 

Bottom Tier – The Overlooked Men of the Franklin Expedition

#10. Richard Wall – & – John Diggle

We’re combining these two because they had a lot in common, historically speaking! Both were polar veterans, having served as a Cook (Wall) and an AB-then-Quartermaster (Diggle) on HMS Erebus under the command of Sir James Clark Ross in the Antarctic expedition of 1839-1843. Certainly we do get some good scenes with them in the show, but there was plenty more to explore there – for instance, Captain Ross was apparently so taken with Richard Wall that he hired him on as a private cook after the Antarctic expedition. (One imagines that Sir James may have regretted letting his friends of the Franklin expedition steal Wall out from under him.)

(If you want some more information on Diggle, the brilliant @handfuloftime​ found this excellent article on him – fun facts include the detail that Diggle’s only daughter bore the name Mary Ann Erebus Diggle.) 

#9. John Smart Peddie 

Now, I don’t think we should go as far as the Doctor Who Audio Drama adaptation of the Franklin Expedition, which makes Peddie into Francis Crozier’s oldest friend, someone “almost like a brother” to Crozier (no evidence of ANY prior relationship between the two existed, contrary to whatever the Doctor Who Audio Dramas would have you believe!) but Peddie probably earned his place as chief surgeon, however fond we may all be of the beautiful Alex “Macca” MacDonald, who was, in fact, the Assistant Surgeon, historically speaking. It’s hard to find information about Peddie, but someone should go looking! I want to know about this man! 

(If you want to know more about the historical Alexander MacDonald, there’s a short biographical article on him from Arctic that you can read here.)

#8 James Walter Fairholme

The only one of the expedition’s lieutenants who doesn’t really get any characterization in the show, which is a travesty! The historical Fairholme (pronounced “Fairem”) was, as they say, a himbo, and the letters that he wrote home to his father are positively precious. He loved the expedition pets (lots of kisses for Neptune!), and he needed two kayaks because he couldn’t fit into just one with his beefy thighs. Fitzjames loaned him a coat when all the Erebus officers had their portraits taken, and then called him a “smart, agreeable companion, and a well informed man,” and Goodsir singled Fairholme out as “very much interested” in the work of naturalist observations. Just a lovely young man who could have gotten some screen time, you know? 

(Also, as @transblanky​ discovered, four separate members of the Fairholme family gave money to Thomas Blanky’s widow when she was struggling financially in the 1850s, making them, combined, the most generous contributor to her subscription.) 

Middle Tier – Franklin’s Men Who Didn’t Deserve That

#7. William Gibson

Alright, I want to talk about how uniquely horrible the show’s William Gibson is: this is a character willing to lie and accuse his partner of sexual assault that didn’t happen. I get there were extenuating circumstances, but if I were a historical figure who died in some famous disaster and someone depicted me doing something like that? Let’s just say I’m deeply offended on the real Gibson’s behalf. 

What do we know about the historical William Gibson? Not much – but we know a little. Gibson’s younger brother served on an overland exploratory venture across Australia in the 1870s… from which he never returned. (God, the Gibson family had the worst luck?) This description of a conversation that young Alf Gibson had with expedition leader Ernest Giles only days before his death is VERY eerie: 

[Gibson] said, “Oh! I had a brother who died with Franklin at the North Pole, and my father had a deal of trouble to get his pay from government.” He seemed in a very jocular vein this morning, which was not often the case, for he was usually rather sulky, sometimes for days together, and he said, “How is it, that in all these exploring expeditions a lot of people go and die?” 

I said, “I don't know, Gibson, how it is, but there are many dangers in exploring, besides accidents and attacks from the natives, that may at any time cause the death of some of the people engaged in it; but I believe want of judgment, or knowledge, or courage in individuals, often brought about their deaths. Death, however, is a thing that must occur to every one sooner or later.” 

To this he replied, “Well, I shouldn't like to die in this part of the country, anyhow.” In this sentiment I quite agreed with him, and the subject dropped.

(From Giles’s Australia Twice Traversed which you can read here) 

Beyond that, one thing we do know is that William Gibson was probably friends with Henry Peglar – they had served on ships together before, and Gibson may possibly have been the poor fellow found cradling the Peglar Papers, according to researcher Glenn Stein. So we might imagine the historical Gibson as a much kinder man than the show’s depiction of him – this was someone who befriended the clever, playful Peglar we all know and love from the transcriptions of his papers, so full of poetry and linguistic jokes. It’s a shame we didn’t get a chance to meet this real Gibson, who actually knew the Henry Peglar whom we love so well.

#6. Stephen Stanley

Look. There’s that one famous line in James Fitzjames’s letters to the Coninghams about how Stanley went about with his “shirt sleeves tucked up, giving one unpleasant ideas that he would not mind cutting one’s leg off immediately – ‘if not sooner.’” And certainly Harry Goodsir had some mixed opinions of the man, saying was “a would be great man who as I first supposed would not make any effort at work after a time,” and that he “knows nothing whatever about subject & is ignorant enough of all other subjects,” whatever…. that means…. 

But Fitzjames also had some rather nicer things to say about him, that he was “thoroughly good natured and obliging and very attentive to our mess.” Also, the amputation comment? Very likely had a quite positive underlying joke to it – Stanley may not have been much of a naturalist, but he was actually an accomplished anatomist, who won a prize for dissection in 1836, on account of his “bend of the elbow,” which was “a picture of dissection,” according to Henry Lonsdale, who also called Stanley his “facetious friend” and “a fine fellow” (Lonsdale 1870, pg. 159). So, the real Stanley probably was rather droll, but the perpetually cruel Stanley of the show misses some of the real man’s major historical virtues and replaces them with historically unlikely mass-mercy-murder. 

#5. John Irving

Now we’re getting into the territory of characters who did get some good development, but are missing a bit of historical nuance. As I’m sure many of you know, the historical Irving was indeed very religious, but the flashes of anger (i.e. against Manson) we see from Irving in the show don’t seem terribly consistent with the Irving depicted in this memorial volume, where John seems more like a quiet, bookish, mathematically inclined young man, with a self-deprecating sense of humor and a gentle sweetness. It’s really not at all far off from the version of Irving we see with Kooveyook in the show – I just wish we could have seen more of that side of Irving. 

Top Tier – The Triumvirate of Polar Friends

So, these three DO have many good things to recommend them in the show, but because I’ve done such deep research on them, it can be quite jarring to watch certain scenes in which they behave contrary to their historical personalities, and I find myself pausing when watching the show with friends or family to explain that NO, they wouldn’t do that! 

#4. Sir James Clark Ross

First thing – we LOVE Richard Sutton. He did a beautiful job with the material given to him. (This is true of all the actors on the list, frankly, but it’s doubly true here.) But that scene at the Admiralty where Sir James tells Lady Franklin “I have many friends on those ships, as you know,” to shut down her argument for search missions? At that time (aka 1847), historically, Sir James Clark Ross was actively campaigning for search missions, planning routes and volunteering his services in command of any vessel the Admiralty even vaguely contemplated sending out. You could see this real-life desperation in Sir James’s morose attention to his whiskey glass in that scene if you’re really trying, but I think the more historically responsible thing would have been to make vividly clear that James Ross risked life and limb, as soon as he possibly could, to try to rescue Franklin and Crozier and Blanky, men he’d known and cared about and bitterly missed – and, in the case of Crozier, “truly loved.” 

#3. Sir John Franklin

The historical Franklin had plenty of flaws – his contributions to British colonial rule certainly harmed no small number of people, and we should question the way that heroic statues of Franklin are some of the only memorials that serve to honor the lives lost on Franklin’s expeditions – especially considering the steep body count of not only Franklin’s final voyage, but his previous missions in Arctic regions as well. (DM me and I’ll scream at you about counter-monuments! Is this a promise or a threat? Who knows!) With that said, most contemporary accounts agree that Sir John Franklin treated his friends, his family, and those within his social orbit with kindness, and his cruelties were systemic, not personal. In this light, the image of Sir John viciously tearing into Francis Crozier’s vulnerabilities in the show feels very off. Though there was certainly some friction over Crozier’s two proposals to Sophia Cracroft, historically speaking, there’s no evidence at all that Sir John discouraged her from marrying Francis – Sophia may have had many reasons of her own (*clears throat meaningfully in a lesbian sort of way*) for not accepting any of the several marriage proposals offered to her (from Crozier as well as from others), and we ought to keep in mind that she remained unmarried all her life. The notion that the real Sir John would have considered Crozier too low-born or too Irish to be part of the Franklin family isn’t grounded in historical fact.

#2. Lady Jane Franklin

Again disclaimer: the real Lady Franklin left behind a legacy with much to critique. Those who rightfully point out the racism of her treatment of the young indigenous Tasmanian girl Mathinna should be fully heard out. Observations of her own contributions to imperialism are important and valid. Though I tend to see her feud with Dr. John Rae as somewhat understandable – given that Lady Franklin didn’t have the benefit of our hindsight knowing Rae was correct – the levels of prejudice that she enabled and even encouraged in the writing of Charles Dickens when he attempted to discredit Inuit accounts of Franklin’s fate are inarguably deplorable. These things being said, everything noted for Sir John re: Sophia Cracroft goes for Lady Franklin as well – there’s no reason to imagine a scene where Jane would bully Francis Crozier within an inch of his life, seconds after a failed second proposal, when, historically, Lady Franklin felt the situation was so delicate that it required the quiet and compassionate intervention of Sir James Clark Ross, a dearly loved mutual friend to all parties. Tension does not imply aggression; conflict is not abuse. We know this can’t have been an easy experience for the historical Francis Crozier, but the picture is a lot more complicated than what can be shown in one small subplot of a ten-episode television show. Because of this complexity, however, Lady Franklin’s social deftness suffers in the show. (I could also write an entire essay about Jane Franklin’s last shot in the show, at the beginning of Episode 9: The C the C the Open C – TL;DR is that framing is very important, and, at the very last moment, the show reframes Lady Franklin as a mutilated corpse, a speaking mouth without a brain, which is….. a choice.)

And, at number 1, the person done most dirty by The Terror (2018) is….

#1. Charles Frederick “Freddy” Des Voeux 

Look. I’m biased here because I am fed daily information about the historical Freddy Des Voeux from @frederickdesvoeux​ so I’ve become, I think understandably, a bit attached. 

But this is very plainly the clearest cruelty the show does to a historical figure – the historical Des Voeux was a very young man (only around 20 when the ships set sail) known always as “Frederick or Freddy” to his family, and described by all parties as bright and sweet – Fitzjames said that he was “a most unexceptionable, clever, agreeable, light-hearted, obliging young fellow, and a great favourite of Hodgson’s, which is much in his favour besides,” and described him cheerfully helping to catch specimens for Goodsir. Des Voeux is named “dear” by Captain Osborn in Erasmus Henry Brodie’s 1866 poem on the Franklin Expedition (43) and Leo McClintock reported the young man’s well-known “intelligence, gallantry, and zeal” in his 1869 update to his account of the Franklin Expedition’s fate (xlii). None of this is consistent with Des Voeux’s behaviour in the show, especially in the later episodes. 

To reduce Des Voeux to an easily-detested figure, over whose death one might cheer, is not a kindness – the creation of a narrative where his death is satisfying does damage to the memory of a real person, a barely-more-than-teenager who died in the cold of the Arctic and left behind only scraps of a shirt and a spidery signature in the bottom margin of a fragmentary document. 

Television shows may need their villains, but it’s important to remember that real life isn’t like that. Surely the historical Frederick Des Voeux was most likely not a perfect person, and, as an upper class officer contributing to a British imperial project, he does bear some responsibility for the harm done by the Franklin expedition, but it’s not accurate to assume he was any less worthy of sympathy than the other officers who considered him a friend – those men whom we now venerate, like James Fitzjames. So as far as I’m concerned, Freddy Des Voeux deserves at least as much consideration, care, and compassion from us. 

[rw47vr-key]

Princess Queen MC!x Jake

(Part 1/3)

Genre:Fantasy,Mystery,Romance

Warning: dark,angst,mention of death

Synopis: Dark Magic which is known only by royals, becomes forbidden after a terrible war broke to attain the 'Magical Sapphire' among the kingdoms because of the evil Magician'Ravenblack'. You,the Queen of Esmond known as the only young Queen to rule a kingdom in the entire continent,is the protector of that precious gem.But trouble always follows you.

Quick note: Hello my dears!!💖💕 So I tried writing this plot and I'm not even sure how it has come🙈.I'm just an amateur forgive if there's any mistake🙃.Let me know what you think.Take care Lovelies!💗

"Hail to the the future king and queen of Rogers kingdom!"

"Hail to the future king Richard Rogers and future queen Jessica Hawkins!"

"Congratulations on your engagement!!"

"Long live the future king and queen!"(continuous praise)

_inside the Rogers palace_

'I have to see Queen MC!!' , she says her steps pounding with her heartbeat.

A voice in her head whispers,"You can't escape from me.Hahahaha"

She casts a little spell and tries to write something in a portrait of someone , before she completes, a black fog surrounds and she disppears.....

A raven caws as if announcing about the game of nightmare beginning.

___

*Clang*

* Clang*

.....

*clash* *clash* *clash* *clash*

"Hiyaa"

*Clang*

(sword falls down)

"Woah!! Milady! You always defeat me.This isn't fair!!"

"You were the one who taught me sword skills, Knight Anderson"

"Yeah yeah.But still..."

A Maid:"Your Majesty, it's time for your afternoon meal.You didn't have your breakfast too"

You give your sword to knight Daniel Anderson and say,"Ah,yes I will"

"Milady, this is not good! Why are you training without having your meal nowadays!"

"Don't worry Knight Dan, you are used to my stubborness"

You change from your armour to an elegant silk gown and enter the dining hall.

You weren't eating well after all the disasters happening.Princess Hannah,of The Donfort Kingdom ,has gone missing 2 days before and evil magician of the duskwood province " Ravenblack", will anytime try to kill you and take the precious gem which is the symbol of Power,but a dangerous one which could destroy the whole world.

You were barely eating when someone dashed inside surpassing the guards.

"Greetings,Royal Highness. I've something important to ask you."

It was none other than the cunning Lord Norman ,who is in-charge of trade.You gave a death glare as if to engulf him and he immediately jumped in fear but still continued,"M-Myy apologies for disturbing your meal time,your Majesty. But I need to ask you a favour. Please let me take care of the rich clothing, newly opened for the common people.Why did you give that to a rookie, Milady?"

He knows he's running towards a dark tunnel yet he does so.You slowly get up with your fork in your hand,he moves back in fear and you whisper in his ears,pointing the fork in his eyes

" Go against me,and those emerald eyes won't be where it is supposed to be."

"Oh, didn't you try to sell that Art of someone's as yours? How about you pay for that too?"

And like always, he swiftly gets out of your sight screaming.

"I don't know why you still have him here,Milady", Knight Anderson says.

"I know he's crooked but he's of help too in someway",you smirk and put down your fork.

You are frustrated that he ruined your meal and you ask your maid for a cup of coffee.Royals prefer tea but you love coffee more.That's the only thing that'd pacify your mind.

***

This all started when Ravenblack,out of greed ,yearned for taking Sapphire as his own property.For that,he used malicious dark magic.For which he needs to kill one person,and curse another person on a special night of the first moon of a particular year that occurs rarely.He cursed young Prince Jacques Donfort,an illegitimate child of the kingdom who was sadly not cared by his people and he tried to kill you, who was born on that same special day,but a different year.Though you were young that time,your magical power was so strong that you saved yourself,and the whole war was stopped by you.That made the people to crown you as the Queen at a younger age.But still the curse on prince Jacques wasn't gone and since people didn't care, they tried to kill him out of fear of the curse.He still resides hiding away ,people thought that he is dead already, but he is not.And you were afraid that there are only 3 Days for that awaited night.

"Milady" "Milady"

.....

"Royal Highness MCCcc!!"

"Ah! Sir Dan! What?!"

"What are you dreaming ,Milady?.Aaaa fine, here's lovely flowers for the lovable Queen".

Knight Daniel always gives you flowers everyday and even has his own garden that he takes care of by himself.You love it but teasing him too is fun.

"I've got this specially today since that bastard ruined your mood and meal."

You smile and receive,"Thank you"

"Keep smiling like that Milady,if you get furious it's difficult for me to stop you".

***

Next day

Duskwood province is the largest with forests,a beautiful lake and many small kingdoms out of which three main are The Donfort,Rogers, and Hawkins.You are now in the Rogers palace,to visit Jessy Hawkins who is now engaged to Richard Rogers.She is your best friend and sister figure to you and you're visiting her since she's upset that Princess Hannah vanished on her auspicious engagement.Even you who visited the engagement,wasn't able to sense any dark magic and was shocked about her disappearance.No one,even Richard could calm down her.She's still weeping and worrying.

"You are here!",she hugs you and cries like a baby.

You couldn't control your emotions too.You join her and you both let out your feelings and talk for some time.

After an hour,Prince Rogers entered the room.

"Greetings Queen MC!"

You bow just like him and greet" Greetings Prince Richard".

" Ah,I told you to call me Richy"

"And I told you to address me as MC"

You three were best friends ever since you were kids.So it's been like this always.You love them but you're afraid that you will put them in danger.

You have a nice long chat which you haven't had for many days since you were busy playing the role Queen.

"Milady,I have to show you something",Princess Jessy says to you and hands you a portrait of you written in magic as HELP

You ask"Where did you get this?"

"It was in my room which I found after princess Hannah's disappearance.She is the one who uses this type of magic.

Prince Richy: "But we didn't give this to the Donfort King yet.Since it is your portrait,we wanted to inform you first Milady.Do you know what this means?"

You too wondered why.But you had an inkling that it must be because of " magical Sapphire".

"I'll try to find it.Thank you for trusting this to me."

"You needn't thank us Milady!"Sir Richard says and so does Princess Jessy.

You greet them and leave the palace,where the royal advisor Dark,who accompanied you waits.

"My Princess Nesrin! What took you so long?"he asks you.You get angry everytime he calls you Princess 'Nesrin' Which means 'Wild flower'. you weren't Solandis (a delicate flower) and you accepted that fact,but him calling you Princess,as if you're under his control annoys you.

And as to express anger you always use a little spell to hurt him in his head.

He coughs little blood and frowns"Ah!! Sorry Milady.i thought you were in a good mood.So, will you take my advice?"

"What is it?",you ask entering the chariot.

"Like I always say,why don't you use your sapphire to stop this chaos?.You and me can end this my princess!!.Just listen to me!"

You know he wants to rule Esmond and doesn't like a mere young woman dominating instead of him who has been an advisor and great magician of Esmond ever since you were born. You scoff and reply,"You're just my advisor,not the Emperor,and even if you were ,I won't kneel for your command.Just wait and see what happens."

No one can defeat you whether it's sword fight or word fight.

***

That day evening

"MEET ME AT THE ROYAL GARDEN"

-Nymos

You receive a little note in your room.Prince Jacques writes letters to you, though he couldn't express his feelings in it ,you and him still Iove doing this.But he never meet you in person after that terrible incident, fearing that he'd put you in danger.So Nymos,a red eyed young lad ,so younger than you , who always accompanies Jacques brings you those letters and you write letters too .They both get rid of the evil magicians in duskwood forest,but on the outside They disguise as thieves,but they're theives for a good cause,to help the right persons who suffer due to Ravenblack.

You don't love him just because he's a former prince,You love him for being himself.You see a dark figure behind the bushes.

"Hey Nymos.Why did you ask me to come here.Someone will see you",you say.

"It's me,Milady"

You knew it wasn't Nymos.It was the person who makes your heart flutter everytime you read his letter.

"I came to ask about Princess Hannah"

Your heart shattered and so was the flower pots near you because of your spell magic out of frustration.After visiting all these years,he's not asking how do you do or atleast a formal greeting?! You hide your anger and ask"What do you want to know Prince Jacques?"

"I'm sorry if your suprised,and please address me as Jake"

He says so since that's the way his late mother called him."In that case,Prince Jake I've something to show you".

You and him talk there a lot about everything that's gone a disaster and he assures you , he'll end this altogether.

"It's already late Milady,I'll right a letter soon.And I'm glad I could see after a long time",he says and tries to leave.

"That's all you've come for?,I thought I was important to you, doesn't seem like it",you say with anger loudly.

He turns around with sadness and anger in his bright blue eyes that changes to red sometimes Because of the curse,and pins you to the wall and says"You know how much I like you.And how much I can't resist you.Its dangerous for now.Remember that Milady."

He slowly takes your hand and kisses in the hand"And remember, you'll always be My Queen", you stand in awe stuck in wonder.

Jake:"You trust me right?"

You hug him and say"Of course I trust you".

He tells his plan and before you could react he vanishes as always.

" Milady,what are you doing in the garden?!"

" what's the hurry,Sir Anderson?"

"I've been searching for you to give these Two important invitations.One is from King of Donfort and another from Princess Cleo."

You grab Donfort king's invite and looks like he wants to talk about Hannah.

"Why Princess Cleo sends me an invite?That's rare"

"This invite came a week ago.you said you don't want to see it,Milady.Remember? That new waffle and pancake she introduced in her famous restaurant she owns.Today night is that inauguration".

You wonder why the best friend of Princess Hannah,despite her disappearance, didn't cancel the occasion.

"Hmm, strange"

" Of course it is,Milady!. By the way,why is there broken flower pots here?

......

***

At the night food inauguration

Princess Cleo: "Thank you for all who've come here! Enjoy the feast!"

A loud applause is heard in the hall.

Prince Jake in disguise,uses his cursed red flame magic to signal Princess Cleo.She spots his place and approaches,"Hello my love Jake,What brought you here?"

To be continued......(other parts in description)

*****

Hope you like this.i don't know if you noticed some dw fandom references,I included it because I love you guys so soo much (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤ .And this story next part might be slow update.Please forgive me😅.and sorry about that poor sword sound effect...

Have a nice day/eve/night dears!!💕💕🌺

[sparktober]

Sparktober Bingo 2021!

Back for a new generation: Sparktober Bingo!

Instead of coming up with an Atlantis-specific list of prompts, I compiled a bunch of 2021 -tober prompt lists into one google doc here. (Links to original prompt lists are on the google doc.) Add in a list of Atlantis episodes and...

How to play:

Choose a “flavor” from the prompt sets below the cut, then paste it into this fandom bingo card generator.

Adjust your browser size til it looks right and take a screenshot, or use the html script if you’re familiar with using html on tumblr. Tag @sparktober​ if you want us to reblog it so everyone knows you’re playing!

  Sparktober Bingo Rules:

Complete a row/column, corners, or a blackout of your card by November 1, or not! Update as you go.

All fan-works are allowed: art, edits, fic, meta... bonus points to anyone who picks the “sprinkles” flavor and goes full mid-aughts by filling their bingo cards with 100x100 pixel icons.

You are allowed to pull multiple cards until you get one that inspires you, and you can also go through the prompt list of your choice in advance to pull out squicks or things you absolutely won’t write. I recommend not googling unfamiliar words from your work computer.

Use the prompts liberally! Episode titles can be treated as the episode or as generic prompts (e.g. “Epiphany” can be for an episode-related fic or a prompt for an epiphany of your choice).

  Flavor descriptions:

VANILLA: Gen prompt lists from Fictober, Inktober, Trektober Gen, and Trektober Trek.

CHOCOLATE: Zesty prompt lists from Trektober NSFW, Kinktober, and Whumptober. The multiple-prompts-per-day from Kinktober and Whumptober have been broken into individual prompts.

CANDY CORN: Fall / holiday themed prompts from TUA-tober.

SPRINKLES: Atlantis episode list (in order, in case you only want to copy certain seasons), along with characters and a few Atlantis-specific prompts.

TWIST: All of the above! (You can also manually mix and match different flavors, of course.)

Text blocks to copy into the bingo card generator are below the cut. Enjoy!!

VANILLA

“I need you.”; “You have no proof.”; “I’ve waited for this.”; “Fine, I give up.”; “I’m not saying I told you so…”; “Didn’t we already have this conversation?”; “That could have gone better.”; “This is it, isn’t it?”; “There’s no right side to this.”; “It’s so quiet.”; “I swear, it’s not always like this.”; “You keep me safe.”; “The things you make me do…”; “Your information was wrong.”; “I like that in you.”; “Not this again.”; “I’m with you, you know that.”; “This was not part of the plan.”; “I feel strange.”; “That’s what I’m known for.”; “What did I say?”; “No promises.”; “This time, do what I say.”; “Is this supposed to impress me?”; “Do you know what time it is?”; “I’m sure this has never worked, ever.”; “You could have died!”; “I don’t have to explain myself.”; “Why are we whispering?”; “Don’t ruin this.”; “Take me with you.”; Crystal; Suit; Vessel; Knot; Raven; Spirit; Fan; Watch; Pressure; Pick; Sour; Stuck; Roof; Tick; Helmet; Compass; Collide; Moon; Loop; Sprout; Fuzzy; Open; Leak; Extinct; Splat; Connect; Spark; Crispy; Patch; Slither; Risk; Meet-Cute; Amnesia; Age Difference; Pining; Sick Fic; Fake Relationship; Accidental Meeting; Epistolary; Secret Identity; Historical AU; Nightmares; Monster Hunter; Reunion; Soulmates; At Pride; Angst; Seasons; Fix-It; Coffee Shop; Movie Plot AU; Kid Fic; Actor's Other Crossover Work; OT+; Getting Together; Only One Bed; Pirates; Making Up; Forbidden Relationship; Tattoos; Halloween; Prime Directive; Lower Decks / Background Characters; Away Mission; Ship's Bar; Aliens Made Them Do It; Observation Deck; Crew with Family; Holodeck; Science Crew; Character Survives; Headcanons; Diplomacy; Decontamination; Trek Crossover; Replicator; Worldbuilding; Redshirts; Sex / Love Potion; Medical Crew; Transporters; Medbay; Interspecies Relationship; Mirrorverse; Uniforms; Mutiny; Stranded on a Planet; Rec Room; Academy Era; Second Contact; Command Crew; Off-Duty

  CHOCOLATE

A/B/O; Soft; Anonymous Sex; Penetration with Object/s; Sleeping; Intercrural Sex; Restraints; In/Under Water; Group Sex; First Time; Possessive Behavior; Dry Humping / Grinding; Overstimulation; Roleplay; Rimming; Stretching / Fisting; Power Imbalance; Food Play; Fingering; Body Worship; Sex Work; Voyeurism / Exhibitionism; Safewords; Technology; Oral Sex; Omorashi / Wetting; Crying; Underwear / Lingerie; Friends with Benefits; Pain Kink; Dirty Talk; Trick or Treat; All trussed up and nowhere to go; Talking is overrated; Sticks and stones may break my bones...; Trust fall; I've got red in my ledger; Touch and go; My spidey-sense is tingling; Coughing up a lung; Rumors of my death are greatly exaggerated; Oops, I did it again; Just keep swimming; It'll be fun, they said; That's gonna leave a mark; Under pressure; Feed a cold, starve a fever; On a need-to-know basis; Field care 101; The doctor is in; Just a scratch; Lost & found; That's where the blood's supposed to be; They made me do it; You break it, you buy it; One down, two to go; Hide & Seek; You will go down with this ship; “I'm fine, I prom...”; It's (not) just in your head; All work and no play; Digging your grave; Hurt & Comfort; “You have to let go.”; Garotte; Taunting; “Do you trust me?”; Betrayal; Bruises; Helplessness; Pneumothorax; Presumed Dead; Hospital; Adrift; Torture; “This is gonna suck.”; Crush injuries; Delirium; Recovery; “Please don't move.”; “Now smile for the camera.”; Bitten; Trunk; Bleeding through bandages; Cursed; Auction; Self-induced injuries to escape; Escape; Fallen; Passing out; “Good, you're finally awake.”; “You're still not dead?”; Major character death; Disaster zone; Barbed Wire; Choking; Insults; Taken Hostage; Misunderstanding; Touch Starved; Numbness; Exotic Illness; (Blind) Rage; Flare-Up; Drowning; Made To Watch; Burns; Beaten; Fever Dreams; Scars; Hemorrhage; Doctor Visit; Bleeding; Trapped Under Water; Pressure; Demon; Ransom; Flashback; Flight; Waterfall; Vertigo; Nightmares; Too Weak To Move; Left For Dead; Trauma; Bound; Gagged; “Who Did This To You?”; Pushed; Broken Nose; Hunger; Blindness; “Definitely Just A Cold”; Tears; Ice Chips; Dehydration; Begging; Cauterization; Force; Bees; Aftermath; Dread; Cpr; Stabbing; Solitary Confinement; Blood-Matted Hair; Obsession; Pursuit; Revenge; Hiding; Trap Door; Collapse; Panic; Overworked; Ghosts; Prisoner; Losing Control; Threats; Caning; Mercy; Forgotten; Head Injury; Screaming; Comfort; Self-Sacrifice; Trapped; Near-Death Experience; Regret; Tragedy; Battlefield; Anxiety; Gore; Petplay; Bimbofication; Panties & Lingerie; Bondage; Double Penetration in 2 Holes; Breeding; Humiliation; NTR; Incest; Emeto; Omorashi; Free Use; Crossdressing; Public; Three (or more) some; Daddy & Mommy; Double Penetration in 1 Hole; Distention & Cockbulge; Xenophilia; Shotgunning; Watersports; Pregnancy; Lactation; Waxplay; Grooming; Human Furniture; Feet; Prostituion; MacroMicro; Spanking; Cockwarming; Glory Hole; Somnophilia; Body Modification; Temperature Play; Leather; Size Difference; Sounding; Stockings; Tentacles; Medical Play; Stripping; Orgasm Denial; Master & slave; Scissoring; Titfucking; Frottage; Knifeplay; Formal Wear; Breathplay; Fisting; Pegging; Scat; Beastiality; Fucking Machine; Tickling; Boot Worship; Bukkake; Collaring; Foodplay; Non or dubcon; Feederism; Sensory Deprivation; Oviposition; Clone & Selfcest; Exhibitionism & Voyeurism; Impact Play; Sadomasochism; Bloodplay; Praise Kink; Body Swap; Sweat; Branding; Massage; Role Reversal; Armpit; Masturbation; Inflation; Sex Toys; Burnplay; Menophilia; Stuck in Wall; Deepthroating & Facesitting; Dacryphilia; Hate Sex

  CANDY CORN

Birthday; Sick Day; Autumn; Candles; Plaid / Flannel; Leaf Piles; Sweaters; Baking; Cinnamon; Pumpkin Spice Latte; Carnival; Movie Night; Candy; Graveyard; Black Cats; Goosebumps; Pumpkin; Party; Monster; Ghosts; Witch; Vampire; Traditions; Magic; Mask; Haunted House; Trick; Treat; Costume; Monster Mash; Halloween

  SPRINKLES

Rising Part 1; Rising Part 2; Hide and Seek; Thirty-Eight Minutes; Suspicion; Childhood's End; Poisoning the Well; Underground; Home; The Storm; The Eye; The Defiant One; Hot Zone; Sanctuary; Before I Sleep; The Brotherhood; Letters from Pegasus; The Gift; The Siege Part 1; The Siege Part 2; The Siege Part 3; The Intruder; Runner; Duet; Condemned; Trinity; Instinct; Conversion; Aurora; The Lost Boys; The Hive; Epiphany; Critical Mass; Grace Under Pressure; The Tower; The Long Goodbye; Coup d'Etat; Michael; Inferno; Allies; No Man's Land; Misbegotten; Irresistible; Sateda; Progeny; The Real World; Common Ground; McKay and Mrs. Miller; Phantoms; The Return Part 1; The Return Part 2; Echoes; Irresponsible; Tao of Rodney; The Game; The Ark; Sunday; Submersion; Vengeance; First Strike; Adrift; Lifeline; Reunion; Doppelganger; Travelers; Tabula Rasa; Missing; The Seer; Miller's Crossing; This Mortal Coil; Be All My Sins Remember'd; Spoils of War; Quarantine; Harmony; Outcast; Trio; Midway; The Kindred Part 1; The Kindred Part 2; The Last Man; Search and Rescue; The Seed; Broken Ties; The Daedalus Variations; Ghost in the Machine; The Shrine; Whispers; The Queen; Tracker; First Contact; The Lost Tribe; Outsiders; Inquisition; The Prodigal; Remnants; Brain Storm; Infection; Identity; Vegas; Enemy at the Gate; Ronon Dex; Teyla Emmagan; John Sheppard; Carson Beckett; Elizabeth Weir; Rodney McKay; Jennifer Keller; Samantha Carter; Aiden Ford; Radek Zelenka; Kate Heightmeyer; Evan Lorne; Laura Cadman; Kolya; Chuck; Peter Grodin; Steven Caldwell; Lantea; Ocean; Ancient(s); Richard Woolsey; Athosians; Daedalus; Wraith; Nanites; Asurans; Genii; DHD; SGC; Stargate; Earth; Antarctica; Ascension

 TWIST

“I need you.”; “You have no proof.”; “I’ve waited for this.”; “Fine, I give up.”; “I’m not saying I told you so…”; “Didn’t we already have this conversation?”; “That could have gone better.”; “This is it, isn’t it?”; “There’s no right side to this.”; “It’s so quiet.”; “I swear, it’s not always like this.”; “You keep me safe.”; “The things you make me do…”; “Your information was wrong.”; “I like that in you.”; “Not this again.”; “I’m with you, you know that.”; “This was not part of the plan.”; “I feel strange.”; “That’s what I’m known for.”; “What did I say?”; “No promises.”; “This time, do what I say.”; “Is this supposed to impress me?”; “Do you know what time it is?”; “I’m sure this has never worked, ever.”; “You could have died!”; “I don’t have to explain myself.”; “Why are we whispering?”; “Don’t ruin this.”; “Take me with you.”; Crystal; Suit; Vessel; Knot; Raven; Spirit; Fan; Watch; Pressure; Pick; Sour; Stuck; Roof; Tick; Helmet; Compass; Collide; Moon; Loop; Sprout; Fuzzy; Open; Leak; Extinct; Splat; Connect; Spark; Crispy; Patch; Slither; Risk; Meet-Cute; Amnesia; Age Difference; Pining; Sick Fic; Fake Relationship; Accidental Meeting; Epistolary; Secret Identity; Historical AU; Nightmares; Monster Hunter; A/B/O; Reunion; Soulmates; At Pride; Angst; Seasons; Fix-It; Coffee Shop; Movie Plot AU; Kid Fic; Actor's Other Crossover Work; OT+; Getting Together; Only One Bed; Pirates; Making Up; Forbidden Relationship; Tattoos; Halloween; Prime Directive; Lower Decks / Background Characters; Away Mission; Ship's Bar; Aliens Made Them Do It; Observation Deck; Crew with Family; Holodeck; Science Crew; Character Survives; Headcanons; Diplomacy; Decontamination; Trek Crossover; Replicator; Worldbuilding; Redshirts; Sex / Love Potion; Medical Crew; Transporters; Medbay; Interspecies Relationship; Mirrorverse; Uniforms; Mutiny; Stranded on a Planet; Rec Room; Academy Era; Second Contact; Command Crew; Off-Duty; Soft; Anonymous Sex; Penetration with Object/s; Sleeping; Intercrural Sex; Restraints; In/Under Water; Group Sex; First Time; Possessive Behavior; Dry Humping / Grinding; Overstimulation; Roleplay; Rimming; Stretching / Fisting; Power Imbalance; Food Play; Fingering; Body Worship; Sex Work; Voyeurism / Exhibitionism; Safewords; Technology; Oral Sex; Omorashi / Wetting; Crying; Underwear / Lingerie; Friends with Benefits; Pain Kink; Dirty Talk; Trick or Treat; All trussed up and nowhere to go; Talking is overrated; Sticks and stones may break my bones...; Trust fall; I've got red in my ledger; Touch and go; My spidey-sense is tingling; Coughing up a lung; Rumors of my death are greatly exaggerated; Oops, I did it again; Just keep swimming; It'll be fun, they said; That's gonna leave a mark; Under pressure; Feed a cold, starve a fever; On a need-to-know basis; Field care 101; The doctor is in; Just a scratch; Lost & found; That's where the blood's supposed to be; They made me do it; You break it, you buy it; One down, two to go; You will go down with this ship; “I'm fine, I prom...”; It's (not) just in your head; All work and no play; Digging your grave; Hurt & Comfort; “You have to let go.”; Garotte; Taunting; “Do you trust me?”; Betrayal; Bruises; Helplessness; Pneumothorax; Presumed Dead; Hospital; Adrift; Torture; “This is gonna suck.”; Crush injuries; Delirium; Recovery; “Please don't move.”; “Now smile for the camera.”; Bitten; Trunk; Bleeding through bandages; Cursed; Auction; Self-induced injuries to escape; Escape; Fallen; Passing out; “Good, you're finally awake.”; “You're still not dead?”; Major character death; Disaster zone; Barbed Wire; Choking; Insults; Taken Hostage; Misunderstanding; Touch Starved; Numbness; Exotic Illness; (Blind) Rage; Flare-Up; Drowning; Made To Watch; Burns; Beaten; Fever Dreams; Scars; Hemorrhage; Doctor Visit; Bleeding; Trapped Under Water; Demon; Ransom; Flashback; Flight; Waterfall; Vertigo; Too Weak To Move; Left For Dead; Trauma; Bound; Gagged; “Who Did This To You?”; Pushed; Broken Nose; Hunger; Blindness; “Definitely Just A Cold”; Tears; Ice Chips; Dehydration; Begging; Cauterization; Force; Bees; Aftermath; Dread; Cpr; Stabbing; Solitary Confinement; Blood-Matted Hair; Obsession; Pursuit; Revenge; Hiding; Trap Door; Collapse; Panic; Overworked; Ghosts; Prisoner; Losing Control; Threats; Caning; Mercy; Forgotten; Head Injury; Screaming; Comfort; Self-Sacrifice; Trapped; Near-Death Experience; Regret; Tragedy; Battlefield; Anxiety; Gore; Petplay; Bimbofication; Panties & Lingerie; Bondage; Double Penetration in 2 Holes; Breeding; Humiliation; NTR; Incest; Emeto; Omorashi; Free Use; Crossdressing; Public; Three (or more) some; Daddy & Mommy; Double Penetration in 1 Hole; Distention & Cockbulge; Xenophilia; Shotgunning; Watersports; Pregnancy; Lactation; Waxplay; Grooming; Human Furniture; Feet; Prostituion; MacroMicro; Spanking; Cockwarming; Glory Hole; Somnophilia; Body Modification; Temperature Play; Leather; Size Difference; Sounding; Stockings; Tentacles; Medical Play; Stripping; Orgasm Denial; Master & slave; Scissoring; Titfucking; Frottage; Knifeplay; Formal Wear; Breathplay; Fisting; Pegging; Scat; Beastiality; Fucking Machine; Tickling; Boot Worship; Bukkake; Collaring; Foodplay; Non or dubcon; Feederism; Sensory Deprivation; Oviposition; Clone & Selfcest; Exhibitionism & Voyeurism; Impact Play; Sadomasochism; Bloodplay; Praise Kink; Body Swap; Sweat; Branding; Massage; Role Reversal; Armpit; Masturbation; Inflation; Sex Toys; Burnplay; Menophilia; Stuck in Wall; Deepthroating & Facesitting; Dacryphilia; Hate Sex; Birthday; Sick Day; Autumn; Candles; Plaid / Flannel; Leaf Piles; Sweaters; Baking; Cinnamon; Pumpkin Spice Latte; Carnival; Movie Night; Candy; Graveyard; Black Cats; Goosebumps; Pumpkin; Party; Monster; Witch; Vampire; Traditions; Magic; Mask; Haunted House; Trick; Treat; Costume; Monster Mash; Rising Part 1; Rising Part 2; Hide and Seek; Thirty-Eight Minutes; Suspicion; Childhood's End; Poisoning the Well; Underground; Home; The Storm; The Eye; The Defiant One; Hot Zone; Sanctuary; Before I Sleep; The Brotherhood; Letters from Pegasus; The Gift; The Siege Part 1; The Siege Part 2; The Siege Part 3; The Intruder; Runner; Duet; Condemned; Trinity; Instinct; Conversion; Aurora; The Lost Boys; The Hive; Epiphany; Critical Mass; Grace Under Pressure; The Tower; The Long Goodbye; Coup d'Etat; Michael; Inferno; Allies; No Man's Land; Misbegotten; Irresistible; Sateda; Progeny; The Real World; Common Ground; McKay and Mrs. Miller; Phantoms; The Return Part 1; The Return Part 2; Echoes; Irresponsible; Tao of Rodney; The Game; The Ark; Sunday; Submersion; Vengeance; First Strike; Lifeline; Doppelganger; Travelers; Tabula Rasa; Missing; The Seer; Miller's Crossing; This Mortal Coil; Be All My Sins Remember'd; Spoils of War; Quarantine; Harmony; Outcast; Trio; Midway; The Kindred Part 1; The Kindred Part 2; The Last Man; Search and Rescue; The Seed; Broken Ties; The Daedalus Variations; Ghost in the Machine; The Shrine; Whispers; The Queen; Tracker; First Contact; The Lost Tribe; Outsiders; Inquisition; The Prodigal; Remnants; Brain Storm; Infection; Identity; Vegas; Enemy at the Gate; Ronon Dex; Teyla Emmagan; John Sheppard; Carson Beckett; Elizabeth Weir; Rodney McKay; Jennifer Keller; Samantha Carter; Aiden Ford; Radek Zelenka; Kate Heightmeyer; Evan Lorne; Laura Cadman; Kolya; Chuck; Peter Grodin; Steven Caldwell; Lantea; Ocean; Ancient(s); Richard Woolsey; Athosians; Daedalus; Wraith; Nanites; Asurans; Genii; DHD; SGC; Stargate; Earth; Antarctica; Ascension

[archtroop]

So Titans 3x11 opens with a montage of Crane having the time of his life to the tune of a 90s pop song, Waterfalls by TLC.

Apparently, there isn't one person on this blue earth who doesn't hear "Jason waterfalls" as the beginning of the chorus instead of the actual lyrics, "chasing waterfalls". Sometimes people hear "go go" instead of "don't go", it's a disaster, really. There is buzzfeed article on that -

It's so funny and sad, this is literally a song that is cemented as a //mass hysteria type of misunderstanding// for more than TWO DECADES, but like, it becomes even more sad after you read the actual lyrics (see below). It's like, someone on the creative team/score/soundtrack/production was like, "give me a song for Crane's montage, it needs to be pop and fun but I want it to be meta about misunderstandings, digging your own grave and falling from grace and I need it to mention every and each fandom trope associated with Jason Todd*. Oh, and the next scene, I want Crane to be predatory towards the kid while he's literally in bed".

And someone was like, "oh, I know one!"

So like, who the fuck is Jason Waterfalls? Well, nobody, he doesn't exist. Damn, harsh.

Jason, stop water-falling, (verb), aka THE ACTUAL PLOTLINE OF WATER IN THIS SEASON, go-go but don't go,

... Just fucking read this mess:

A lonely mother gazing out of her window

Staring at a son that she just can't touch

If at any time he's in a jam she'll be by his side

But he doesn't realize he hurts her so much

But all the praying just ain't helping at all

'Cause he can't seem to keep his self out of trouble

So, he goes out and he makes his money the best way he know how

Another body laying cold in the gutter

Listen to me

Don't go chasing waterfalls

Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to

I know that you're gonna have it your way or nothing at all

But I think you're moving too fast

Little precious has a natural obsession for temptation

But he just can't see

She give him loving that his body can't handle

But all he can say is, "Baby, it's good to me"

One day he goes and takes a glimpse in the mirror

But he doesn't recognize his own face

His health is fading and he doesn't know why

Three letters took him to his final resting place

Y'all don't hear me

Don't go chasing waterfalls

Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to

I know that you're gonna have it your way or nothing at all

But I think you're moving too fast

I seen a rainbow yesterday

But too many storms have come and gone

Leavin' a trace of not on God-given ray

Is it because my life is ten shades of gray

I pray all ten fade away

Seldom praise Him for the sunny days

And like his promise is true

Only my faith can undo

The many chances I blew

To bring my life to anew

Clear blue and unconditional skies

Have dried the tears from my eyes

No more lonely cries

My only bleedin' hope

Is for the folk who can't cope

Wit such an endurin' pain

That it keeps 'em in the pourin' rain

Who's to blame

For tootin' caine in your own vein

What a shame

You shoot and aim for someone else's brain

You claim the insane

And name this day in time

For fallin prey to crime

I say the system got you victim to your own mind

Dreams are hopeless aspirations

In hopes of comin' true

Believe in yourself

The rest is up to me and you

Don't go chasing waterfalls

Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to

I know that you're gonna have it your way or nothing at all

But I think you're moving too fast

Don't go chasing waterfalls

Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to

I know that you're gonna have it your way or nothing at all

But I think you're moving too fast

....

Oh crap poor Jason Waterfalls.

(*tropes may include but are not limited too: drugs, crime, street life, wayward son, lone mother, death, murder, prostitution, growing up too fast while never growing up at all, wanting everything and having it your way or the highway, getting in trouble, disassociation and/or not recognizing oneself in the mirror, guns etc, etc. Each if those are common Jason Todd fandom tropes and can be found in those lyrics. FFS.)