#give me a video about whales

[kirkgarden]

Whales, the majestic giants of the ocean, encompass various species, each unique in its characteristics and distribution. Here's an overview of some prominent whale species, their vocalizations, and global habitats:

1. Blue Whale (Balaenoptera musculus):

- Known as the largest animal on Earth, blue whales inhabit oceans worldwide, preferring deep, open waters. Their vocalizations include low-frequency moans, pulses, and groans, which can travel vast distances underwater, aiding in communication and navigation.

2. Humpback Whale (Megaptera novaeangliae):

- Recognized for their acrobatic breaches and haunting songs, humpback whales frequent both polar and tropical waters during migration seasons. Their songs, characterized by complex sequences of moans, cries, and chirps, are believed to play a role in mating rituals and social bonding.

3. Sperm Whale (Physeter macrocephalus):

- Sperm whales, renowned for their deep-sea dives, are found in all major oceans, with a preference for deeper waters. Their clicks, used for echolocation and communication, are among the loudest sounds produced by any animal, enabling them to navigate and locate prey in the dark depths.

4. Orca or Killer Whale (Orcinus orca):

- As apex predators, orcas inhabit diverse marine environments, from polar regions to tropical seas. Their vocal repertoire includes clicks, whistles, and calls, utilized for communication within pods during hunting and social activities.

5. Beluga Whale (Delphinapterus leucas):

- Belugas, often referred to as "sea canaries" due to their high-pitched vocalizations, reside primarily in Arctic and sub-Arctic waters. Their sounds consist of whistles, chirps, and clicks, facilitating social interactions and navigation in icy habitats.

6. Gray Whale (Eschrichtius robustus):

- Gray whales undertake one of the longest migrations of any mammal, traveling between feeding grounds in the Arctic and breeding grounds in the warmer waters of the Pacific. Their vocalizations are less studied but include low-frequency rumbles and grunts.

7. Fin Whale (Balaenoptera physalus):

- Fin whales are distributed across all major oceans, favoring deep offshore waters. Their vocalizations consist of rhythmic, low-frequency pulses and moans, often referred to as "songs," which likely serve communicative purposes during migration and social interactions.

8. Minke Whale (Balaenoptera acutorostrata):**

- Minke whales are found in both polar and temperate waters worldwide, often near the coastlines. Their vocalizations are relatively simple compared to other species, consisting mainly of pulsed calls and short bursts, possibly used for navigation and communication.

These descriptions offer a glimpse into the rich diversity of whale species and their vocal behaviors across different marine habitats. From the haunting melodies of humpbacks to the powerful clicks of sperm whales, each species contributes to the intricate tapestry of oceanic life, highlighting the importance of conservation efforts to protect these magnificent creatures and their habitats.

https://youtu.be/gbWQSONI3Fg?si=Y_zhdECcu_HbMQ1y

[mechawolfie]

I made two more dragons w the intent of coloring them however I realize that will be A Task and will take 1 bajillion years so. here are the initial sketches until then

[sysig]

Hhhhhhhhh 👀✨

[gothamundernightlight]

Random Shit the Waynes Do on Social Media

Dick:

- The white whale of D1 and Olympic gymnastics athletes; always stitches their stunts and challenges, executing them perfectly, but no one knows who he is or who trained him

- Shares pictures of random children, and the whole internet becomes a detective trying to figure out if Bruce Wayne adopted another kid or if his gymnastics students won another trophy

- Photo montages of Haley being the cutest, which slowly transitions into Haley in whatever cute hat the internet can send to Dick’s PO Box

- Random video of him skydiving while giving tips on what to do if your chute doesn’t deploy. He never deploys his chute doing the video and no one can tell if it’s a bit or not.

Jason:

- AI Voiceover text posts providing surprisingly insightful analysis into classic literature

- A full six part rant on the Broadway adaptation of “The Great Gatsy”

- Random selfies complete with wildly made up backstories of any and every new injury he has

- Prank war on Damian specifically (this was intended for Talia but his finger slipped and now the whole internet loves it)

Tim:

- Randomly goes live to do study/work/research with me sessions complete with an actually decent Lofi soundtrack that no one can find (He totally mixes it himself but won’t admit it)

- Did ONE social media vlog for WE’s marketing division and it went so viral he gets forced to do more. The dead eyed stare he gives the camera with every stupid dance the intern teaches him makes the video top-tier

- Cute couples videos with Bernard

- Skateboard tricks (and fails)

- Screenshots of text conversations between him and his siblings discussing the most random shit??

Cass:

- Dance routines/pre-show/GRWM videos

- Shakily filmed videos of her kicking Dick’s ass and everyone just calls her a baddie in the comments. She doesn’t know what that means but she appreciates the love.

- Her and Steph’s late night food runs with the two of them just belting out to a song in a dark parking lot

Steph:

- Posts riddles and puzzles and how to solve them. She’s really good at it. Riddler hates her.

- Apartment tour of all the purple shit she owns. She’ll never admit that the room she’s showing off is her Wayne Manor bedroom, so everyone believes she just has a moderately sized loft apartment somewhere and she just never shows the kitchenette

- Her and Cass’s late night food runs with the two of them just belting out to a song in a dark parking lot

- POV shots of her going up to the boys asking them random questions. Dick matches her energy. Jason tells her to fuck off. Tim is barely conscious. Damian always has an overly rational answer to take the fun out of it. Duke just stares blankly at her (he always comes back later with a proper answer now that he’s had time to think about it). Bruce just stares blankly at her

Damian:

- Art reveals that never get many views but he’s still proud of nonetheless. Dick always comments on them to hype him up

- Accidentally recreates a popular vine that went viral and it’s just him insulting fellow GA kids under his breath but one of them says hi to him and he’s instantly polite back. His most popular video

- The multi-part experiment of him trying to Pavlov Tim, and when it actually works, Tim just chases Damian around the manor. The video cuts to black frames after Tim takes a flying launch at him

- All the pet videos. There are so many. People try to cancel him for exploiting them, but Damian clearly demonstrates that he would never force his animals to participate for views and how they will just leave if they don’t want to do something. Batcow is in the background just two-stepping unprompted

Duke:

- Every morning without fail, he posts a daily sunrise pic of Gotham, with a positive affirmation caption. One day he’s sick and he wakes up to a thousand messages of people panicking because their favorite poster has disappeared. He never misses a sunrise again

- Passionate rants about local government. Will not shut up about it. He might be an anarchist, but he’s forever remain optimistic that one day the systems that define society will one day actually work for all people. Bruce has every single one saved so he can implement Duke’s ideas into reality

- Boxing videos of him training with Luke. It’s never meant to be a thirst trap…but sometimes it is

- Dumb selfies. Duke unironically loves taking them, no matter what face he pulls, what filter he uses, not even caring where he is. This gets him in trouble the one time he posts one of him leaning off the edge of a high rise roof

Babs:

- Constant lectures on cybersecurity and internet safety. She teaches this at the library as a volunteer but feels she can reach a lot of people by building a platform

- Computer build stuff. Brands reach out to her for her reviews and she thoroughly discusses each product in length

- Rarely posts about her disability, but absolutely tears people to shreds when they make ableist comments about her. The only time she brings it up first is when City Hall takes over a month to fix their elevator and she calls them out on it

Harper:

- Electronics repairs. She constantly takes things apart to teach people how to fix it, and this can range from toys to cars. On more than one occasion , her video has been interrupted by someone who planned to be using the vehicle she’s just taken apart

- 2 AM hair dye/maintenance sessions. She constantly gets comments from men being like “Therapy works too, y’know” or “No, you’re so beautiful? Why would you do that to yourself.” She responds to the comments with a video of a gun pointed at the camera with the sole caption being “Fuck Off.”

- Gym videos. She and Dick work out together and he’s the ultimate hype man

- Outfit montages of her getting ready for a random gala and she’s always pulling off the most masc-looking suits that look gorgeous on her

Helena:

- Target practice. She does all kinds of trick shots and crazy crossbow stunts in a wide variety of outfits. Her most popular video is of her in a corset and platform heels.

- Her and Steph bonding over all things purple

- Outfit of the Day posts. The girl has expensive tastes and she absolutely shows it off.

Bruce:

- Occasionally does promo stuff for WE (because Tim refuses to do all of it, and their social media intern won’t back down)

- Shares absolutely wild stories from his college years that somehow always get proven to be true even when the whole comments section is just like “this seems false???”

- Kid tour. He saw one mom do it and felt sad bc he’s never get the kids to agree, but somehow they all did (Alfred bribed them.)

- Shares everything from each one of the charities he’s involved with. Has reposted every single one of their posts on his own personal channel. It raises them hundreds of followers each time.

- One of the kids posted a video montage of Bruce being Brucie and it’s so utterly humiliating? But he won’t delete it because all of the comments say he’s their favorite billionaire and that’s more than his own kids will say.

- Random Pride Month post. Every year it catches people by surprise and every gossip magazine always wonders if Bruce is coming out. He’s just being an ally (and potentially is in denial).

Alfred:

- Prefers not to use social media, but one of the boys filmed him doing random things to teach the internet how to do things properly, like making the bed, doing laundry, etc. Is the internet’s favorite grandpa.

[plaguedocboi]

I’m strongly considering making a YouTube channel. My first video would be me dressed in my Ahab costume giving a detailed summary and commentary about Moby Dick (the book not the whale). After that I imagine I would do other book and movie reviews, both positive and negative, in costume when applicable. Would you guys be interested in that

[jay-the-fatty]

I love pigging out late at night with greasy foods or sweet treats. I ate quite a bit before this video of me eating cake I had 3 hamburgers and 1 chocolate donut with sprinkles. After eating all of that I feel like an absolute beached whale on my bed. While lay down letting the food digest I give myself some well needed belly rubs. I also whimpered and moan a little about how stuffed I was but I also very happy about it because at the end of the day it even with the little pain in belly it’s all worth it because I know i’m getting fatter fatter like a absolute gluttonous piggy.

[tpwkwriter]

different situatons where h gets jealous and possesive of reader

i just imagined it and im gonna dieee

Ooohhh🤭 another headcannon coming your way!

Warnings: cussing, mentions of Alcohol, drunkeness, jealousy, violence😭

————————jealousy, jealousy—————————

Because of his high status and his constant surroundings of celebrities, fans, paparazzi, TMZ agents harry always had a watchful eye of his girl.It’s not that he didn’t trust y/n, it was the eyes of others he didn’t. Harry’s love for y/n was something so different, he had never felt such love and pride in his girl, he truly loved y/n.

“The returning ex”

Despite this man of y/n’s past being long gone and simply a college fling it still never made sense to why he would occasionally pop back up in Harry’s and y/n’s shared life.

It was a friends birthday party being held at there usual club, y/n remainder sat on a barstool at the bar happy to watch the room of drunks and dancers while Harry was socialising with various friends and work mates around the room, still cautious and aware of his pretty girl sitting at the bar.

“Y/n” a familiar voice heckled.

“James” y/n muttered under her breath.

And there he was the man who took everything from y/n and left within 1 night, despite his actions being many years ago y/n still couldn’t bring her self to be nice to him.

“How are ya” he asked, helping himself to the stool next to her.

“M’Fine” she blankly answered.

“Good, good” he said sipping on his bottled beer.

“Where is he then? The world renounced Popstar?” He asked clearly getting straight to the point.

“That would be me mate”

James’ figure slouched once he saw his replacement.

“M’harry” he said from behind y/n moving forward so he could shake his hand.

“James” he answered shaking his hand.

Harry took no further time in pulling a stool out and sitting himself as close to y/n as he possibly could and putting his hand around her waist.

“I suppose I won’t interrupt anymore, see ya round y/n”

“You scared him away” she laughed.

“Means v’done my job” he said meeting her lips.

“Stage side drama”

If able to, y/n attended most shows, whether that be backstage, side of the stage, in a tier surrounded by bodyguards courtesy of Harry.

She loved it all so much and it never got old.

The loud intro to kiwi filled the stadium, the lights go crazy and the fans give it all they have.

Y/n was in Harrys peripheral all night, the sight of y/n dancing, singing taking the occasional video/photo and making eye contact with her when a song is dedicated to her it reminded him why he did all this.

Y/n was standing to the right side of the stage watching her lover do what he did very best, it wasn’t until she felt a cold arm snake around her waist.

“Enjoying your night” Micheal Harry’s friend whispered into hair.

Harry regretted ever allowing Micheal meet y/n, he was convinced he would make advances if he wasn’t around.

“Very much so” she replied facing him allowing him to lip read over the speakers.

Harry quickly glanced over to his girl and when he saw his “friend” mindlessly wrapping his arms around his girlfriends waist.

H was already high on adrenaline it didn’t take much to push him off the edge.

After the infamous whale, and endless kisses and ‘thank yous’ to the crowd, and still much to his disgust in his peripheral vision, Micheal was still finding any exscuse to be as close to her as he could.

While waving to the sea of people, he speed off of to the side of stage to finally be reunited with his girl, and do something about this Micheal.

“Baby!!” She squealed removing herself from Michael’s loose embrace and throwing herself into her much more comfortable hold instead.

Without a word he just holds her tighter and presses kisses along her hairline, with two hands gently cupping her head, he pulls her out of his chest so he can rest his forehead on hers and speak only to her.

“Love, can you follow the rest of the band f’me and I’ll meet you on the tourbus alright? M’just gonna find Glenn back here?”

She nods and presses a kiss to him, she’s been meaning to that for a while now, the sound of Micheal huffing and puffing behind them really made Harry satisfied.

“I love you, and make sure you stay with them alright” he says against her lips, before slowly releasing her.

“I love you and don’t be too long” she smiles before hurrying off to find the rest, “bye Micheal” she utters before whipping round the corner.

Little to the girls knowledge Glenn wasn’t even here, he just wanted to have a chat with Micheal, perhaps a kind warning.

“You really got lucky with her man” Micheal laughs.

“Yeah, yeah, I did mate I really did, and because of that I’d rather you keep your hands to yourself” he stated, keeping his calm stature but a serious tone.

“Your Harry fucking styles, you could have any chick in the world, and your mad at me for having an arm round a basic girl” he laughs, not catching the drift.

Say what want about him, but y/n, no that’s the line.

With the adrenaline still flowing through his veins, he didn’t fear much at this very moment. It wasn’t until Micheal was backed against a wall that Harry realised he was getting closer to the idle man.

“Say that again” he coldly said.

“I said tha-“

Let’s just say that Micheal was lucky Harry had various security and staff surrounding the backstage area.

“And they called it puppy love”

Y/n had been practically begging for any sort of pet ever since her and Harry moved in together, a companion to keep her company when Harry’s out on the road, y/n worked from home, and there was a puppy needing a home, what could be the problem?

The problem lies where little buddy (there black Labrador) grew quiet clingy and protective of y/n to the extent where even a hug would set the little man off.

“Fuckin’ hell bud” he said, referring to the pup who was currently barking at Harry because of his hand resting on his mums thigh.

“He’s just making sure his mummy’s safe aren’t you baby” she said adoringly picking up the pooch and holding it to her chest where he happily wagged his tail and snuggles into her scent.

Harry then tried again, seeing that the puppy was snuggled in her neck trying to rest, he this time cuddles into his girlfriends side, resting his hand in it’s original place on her thigh and pressing kisses to her shoulder.

However the bliss only lasted around 3 minutes, before the pup found out and started again.

“Oh bud shush your noise” she gently scolded, moving him carefully onto the sofa space next to her.

However buddy made his way back on y/n’s lap and countinued to bark at Harry making it clear that y/n was his mum.

Tired and in need of some TLC, Harry called it a night.

“Bloody pup, I’m going to bed, it’s clear it’s not me he wants” he says patting her thigh and getting up from his position.

“Babe it’s okay, he needs to get used you being around me-“

“No y/n, as long as he’s here we aren’t gonna get any time together” he huffed as he made his way out of the living room and up the stairs.

“I think daddy’s a little mad…and jealous” she whispered to the pup.

Once y/n gently placed the pup in its bed, she headed up to find her sulky boyfriend who was found still sat up against the headboard scrolling on his phone.

“Harry” she began, sliding herself into her side of the bed.

“C’mere” she softly said.

To which he did, he enjoyed feeling that slight bit more vulnerable around the girl, and slid into her arms resting on her chest, she loved using her fingertips to play with the soft curls that sat above his head.

“M’sorry” he mumbled against her chest.

“Don’t be silly, got nothing to be sorry for” she chuckled quietly.

“I was jealous of our fucking dog, s’not right y/n” he continues.

“Hey, hey, I get it, it’s okay, and we will get round to training him promise” she confirms countinue long to comb his hair.

“I know, I know, jus’ don’t like sharing you, you were mine first” he says a low chuckle leaving his lips.

“S’okay, m’always yours, no matter what”

“Unless we get another puppy..then my hands may be a bit full” she added, a small smile curling on both there lips.

“You’d be so lucky” he groaned

——————————————————————————

[0san-ta0]

SOCIAL MEDIA| a.fredrick part 2

synopsis ★ arthur falls head over heels for george's 'secret' girl best friend pairing ★ fem!reader x arthur fredrick (arthurtv) face claim ★ the GORGEOUS lena mango on instagram author's notes ★ thanks for reading!! ignore any dates or times!!reblogs are appreciated!! <33

liked by arthurtv, tobjizzle, gkbarry and 109,837 others

yourinstagram last day in paradise. I'm gonna miss the sun and the sand but atleast I have the memories. <33

p.s trying out a new photographer and he's kinda iffy let me know what you think @arthurtv

user she is just so damn fine like what!?!?!?!

liked by arthurtv

user I was just about to agree with you but not arthur liking it before me?!?!!?!?

user girl I'm as shook as you are

arthurtv hey! I'm trying my best to capture the true essence of the subject matter

yourinstagram all that waffling just to say I'm pretty...

arthurtv that's not even what I meant

yourinstagram so you're saying I'm ugly?

arthurtv no...no..no that's not what I meant at all

georgeclarkeey now you've gone and broken him

user the candid photos are just gorgeous <<333

user am I the only one seeing these interactions!?!? and now you people will try to tell me that i'm just delulu huh?

user girlie nothing about that interaction says platonic and nobody can tell me otherwise

chrismd_10 if you stuck with your original then everything would've been fine

yourinstagram chrissy don't worry you werent there plus was I supposed to teleport you back?!!?

chrismd_10 could've waited for me if you actually cared

yourinstagram ...sir beauty waits for no mortal man plus I wanted to go swimming

user wifey is still beautiful as always

liked by georgeclarkeey, arthurtv, taliamarr and 193, 595 others

yourinstagram photo dump from vacation plus the cutie arthur fredrick

georgeclarkeey ...so noone else made the cut huh?

chrismd_10 being replaced is a funny feeling

yourinstagram I could never replace you chrissy....george though you can choke on pebble

user arthur in that second pic though!!!! jrfuwrhfwjefiwf

liked by yourinstagram

yourinstagram I aprove this message

user I'm sitting here waiting for arthur's comment

arthurfnhill you're gonna be waiting a while then he's kinda busy blushing arthurtv why are you outing me on the internet arthur!!

arthurtv glad to be of service to you for the short while

yourinstagram don't worry I'll call you up anytime chris is giving me a hard time arthurtv i'll stay ready just for you liked by yourinstagram

liked by chrismd_10, arthurtv, madamejoycel and 129, 438 others

yourinstagram the views on the flight back home were stunning

user why do I think that she isn't only talking about the landscape...

user you aren't the only one. that last pic being arthur seems like a hint

gkbarry my wife is back home!!

yourinstagram honey I'm coming to get you that drink<3

gkbarry waiting patiently for you to come get me <3

user the shoes!?! I NEED THEM!

georgeclarkeey took my boyfriend away from me...for what? to talk about stupid whales?

arthurtv yes, yes she did. and it was an amazing conversation too

yourinstagram see george even your boyfriend loves me more than you. says a lot tbh.

arthurtv best seatmate ever!

yourinstagram can't take the title if it's already being held by you though

user y/n and arthur interacting are so freaking cute I swear!!

user now I need video length content these insta comments aren't cutting it

liked by arthurtv, chrismd_10, freyanightingale and 219,742 others yourinstagram third wheeling is character building if you guys needed to know

user listen if we get married boom no more third wheeling

user not you trying make a move on my woman... user not you both trying to get the mother of my children to cheat arthurtv truth be told I think she's closer to being my woman than you three combined comment has been deleted yourinstagram ARTHUR!??!?!? user is this relationship confirmation?????

arthurfnhill glad to see my friends going out without me

yourinstagram don't look at me. last I heard you were asleep arthurfnhill like waking someone up is not a thing yourinstagram next time....maybe

user I cant be the only one who saw arthur's comment???

user I saw it tooo!! this man is bold bold cause what!?!?

arthurtv those are two dashing young men in the last photo!!

yourinstagram I'm not speaking to you sir. arthurtv what? why? it was an honest mistake!! yourinstagram sure......I'll believe you

liked by arthurtv, gkbarry, chrismd_10 and 219,485 others

yourinstagram when he's a nerd <33 @arthurtv

user this sounds like a relationship announcement

user girl my heart just stopped for a minute

yourinstagram maybe it is, maybe it isn't

georgeclarkeey finally he can talk someone else's ears off about his animals

arthurtv here I was thinking you liked hearing me speak. some boyfriend you are

yourinstagram it's okay sweetheart I'll appreciate you

georgeclarkeey throwing up a little

user is that the natural history museum.....HE GOT HIS DREAM DATE 😭😭

user when I realized it I started smiling way too hard

chrismd_10 two nerds who deserve each other

yourinstagram I can tell why she broke up with you

chrismd_10 that's it I'm ending it

yourinstagram no chrissy I need you please don't jump (do a flip)

arthurtv when she encourages you to ramble<3

yourinstagram forever and always <3

georgeclarkeey I can't take it anymore blocking you both

liked by yourinstagram, georgeclarkeey, miniminter and 182,882 others

arthurtv just goes to show that being smart gets you the girl

user.....AHHHH WE WON Y/NTHUR NATION WE FINALLY WON

user screaming crying throwing up so happy for you mr.television!!

yourinstagram actually it was your cute face but you know whatever you feel like worked

arthurtv so you only saw a pretty face...so all the talk about my brains was a lie!?!? yourinstagram yes. yes it was.

user can't wait for the y/n couples content

user you and me both girlie

georgeclarkeey so happy for you arthur but y/n still bullies me so not happy for her

yourinstagram sir all I said was you looked hotter right after the bike incident

georgeclarkeey @arthurtv see this who you fell in love with

arthurtv are you saying that women can't have opinions george?

georgeclarkeey women can but y/n needs some time in timeout

yourinstagram I still believe you should eat rocks

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

Feb 26th

~*~

1. hi, would like to ask if you know of any fic about the sunshot campaign after a failed golden core transfer. thank you :)

Never Again by Hauntcats (T, 67k, WWX & WN & WQ, JC & WWX, wangxian, graphic depictions of violence, major character death, Canon Divergence, Angst, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Time Travel Fix-It, Not JC Friendly, Dark, BAMF WWX, mentions of abuse, Not Everyone Dies au, XY doesn’t have a happy ending) IDK about failed transfer, but this is a Time Travel AU where WQ travels back to when she was performing the transfer & refuses to go through with it

~*~

2. Hello! I have been reading a fic where the elder Lan Wangji Hanguang Jun time travels into the past time in Cloud Recess during the time when his Younger self and Wwx were studying

And then wwx is all over the older Hanguang Jun fawning and fussing .

Fic like Vinegar Jug by Dandelion Sun .

Or something similar coded. @lostsoul234

💖 Hanguang-jun’s Husband by lilacevergarden (alittlemorecreative) (T, 6k, wangxian, time travel, bullying ur younger versions, jealous wwx)

💖 From the Future for the Past by friedchickenlord (G, 27k, wangxian, time travel fix-it, first love, love confessions, fluff & humor, denial, pining, happy ending)  

~*~

3. Tysm Mods for all you do to accommodate and keep up with these asks and recs. As well as all your efforts in keeping up this site. We all appreciate it very much.❤️❤️🥰

But, here’s the ittmf ask. I’m looking for longer fics, (30k+ words) for modern cultivation aus. I’m looking for something like the societies portrayed in Truth Will Out (when caught on video) - End_OTW_Racism! byKizuKatana or All Old Things are New Again byThe Feels Whale (miscellea) would be great, but just give me what you’ve got. I’m hungry for more, does anyone have any good ones? @omgnectarina

I feel like I win when I lose by so_shhy (T, 25k, wangxian, modern cultivation, Sports AU, Getting Together, some semblance of a plot, gently implied 3zun, obsessively observing someone from a distance is super romantic, LWJ pls use your words, really WWX cannot be blamed for obliviousness in this one, WC causing trouble, WN is precious, Fluff, Podfic Available)

Hear a song this deeply by so_shhy (T, 87k, wangxian, modern cultivation, music, kid fic, action/adventure, canon typical JGY behavior, slow burn, fluff & angst, happy ending)

🔒 close the door behind me, i'm leaving by thelastdboy (M, 3k, LXC & LWJ, LQR & LWJ, Madam Lan & LWJ, Modern Cultivation, Canon Divergence, POV LWJ, Character Study, Coming of Age, Past Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Neurodiversity, Autism Spectrum, Situational Mutism, Hurt No Comfort)

💙 this river runs to you by sundiscus (T, 53k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Mutual Pining, Dragons, Literal Sleeping Together, Tender wound tending) Idk how close these are to what OP wants, but I've been reading a lot of Modern Cultivation fics recently, so here's my fave so far

something wicked by isabilightwood (T, 13k, wangxian, modern with magic, coffee shop AU, Animal Transformation Curse, Bunji, LWJ is a Talking Bunji, True Love’s Kiss, Specifically the Same Type of Love, Miscommunication, Pining, Jealous WWX, WWX attempts to set LWJ up on dates, LWJ is not having it, WWX is an empath but he’s bad at telling how people feel about him, Friends to Lovers, Moms and WCZ Live, blink and you’ll miss it implied 3zun, Werewolf Baker WN, extremely mild angst, Fluff, minor background WQ/JYL/JZX, Halloween)

The Curse Breaker by NebulusCharlie (Not rated, 34k, wangxian, Curses, soft and fluffy WangXian, past mistakes, school of Cultivation, modern with magic, Definitely a happy ending, not much angst)

Extracts from the diaries of Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, relating to the case of Lan Zetian (Nov. 4 to Nov. 27) by Accidental_Child (T, 6k, wangxian, Modern Cultivation, Case Fic, Epistolaryish, Diary/Journal, WWX-centric, LWJ-centric, Slow Burn, (academic), Enemies to Lovers, academic rivals to Lovers, Mentions of Murder, mentions of abuse, mentions of assult)

And you must keep your soul/ Like a secret in your throat by athena_crikey (E, 48k, wangxian, Modern with Magic, Vampire WWX, Cultivator LWJ, Case Fic, hur/comfort, Angst, Falling In Love, First Time, Reference to Torture)

那些年错过的大雨 (Nàxiē nián cuòguò de dàyǔ | The heavy rain we missed in those years) by PorcupineGirl (E, 29k, wangxian, LSZ & WWX, Modern Cultiovation, Secret Identity, Wangxian Reunion, Dual Cultivation, Sorta kinda soulmates, but not a soulmate au, Consensual Non-Consent, Explicit Consent, Dom/sub, dom LWJ, sub WWX, Wangxian Have a Non-Con/Rape Kink, No Golden Core Transfer, discussion of mental health issues, WWX & LSZ reunion, Scheming NHS, NHS is Sir Not-Appearing-in-This-Fic (except for how his fingerprints are all over it), Content Warnings in Chapter Notes, no lube we die like WWX's asshole)

~*~

4. I've read a few fics with this lovely concept, but may I have more recs with talisman-genius wwx? getting rich/admired as a result of that is a welcome bonus! thank you💚

🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 762k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement) The ultimate Talisman Genius WWX Gets Recognition fic

🧡 One Can Keep A Secret (If He Does Not Know It’s There) by H_Belle (T, 5k, WangXian, Modern Cultivators, Inventor WWX, Secret Identity, Identity Reveal, YLLZ WWX, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Pining LWJ, POV WWX, Background Wangxian Getting Together, Jiangs are only mentioned in the passing, inspired by a tumblr post)

💙🔒 Away from Trouble by Ilona22 (M, 15k, WangXian, Not JC Friendly, LWJ/WWX Get a Happy Ending) 

🔒 The Second Hand Unwinds by trulywicked (E, 46k, WIP, WangXian, XuanLi, Time Travel Fix-It, JC Bashing, Yúnmèng Jiāng Sect Bashing Jiāng Family Bashing, YZY Bashing, Time Travelling LWJ, Protective LWJ, Fluff, Minor Angst, Minor Character Death, Wooing, Inventor WWX, Genius WWX, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, frankencanon, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Protective Gūsū Lán Sect, Supportive LXC, Good Uncle LQR, WWX Protection Squad)

A Thousand Things by tickertape (M, 108k, wangxian, canon divergence, WWX not adopted by Jiangs, developing friendships, miscommunication, misunderstangings, nightmares, hurt/comfort, panic attacks, WWX’s fear of dogs, slow burn, cultivation world bureaucracy)

~*~

5. this is for itmf! (no wips)

A. bottomji fics please

B. fics w lots of cuddling, soft fics (post- canon preferably, but anything is good!!)

5A)

do with me what spring does with cherry trees by jalpari (E, 34k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, No War AU, Bottom LWJ, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sharing a Bed, Idiots in Love, Touch-Starved LWJ)

this bed of love by YaYa (Terabyte_my_ass) (E, 4k, wangxian, Established Relationship, Post-Canon, Rimming, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Tender Sex, super sensitive LWJ, Blink and you miss it humiliation kink, and a little bit of praise kink, First Time Bottoming, Bottom LWJ, POV LWJ, Coming Untouched)

Respectable, Decent, and Quiet by Theotrix (E, 5k, wangxian, Porn with Feelings, Post-Canon, repressed LWJ, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Loud Sex, Emotional release, How about instead of more rules you get your disciples some therapy)

leave all your love and your longing behind by ScarlettStorm (E, 143k, WangXian, Modern AU, no magic, Meet-Ugly, Panic Attacks, autistic lwj, neurodivergent wwx, the neighborhood asshole dog, if you’ve met one then you know, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, Happy Ending, for everyone including the asshole dog, Eventual Smut, switch rights, Sex Toys, horny yearning, Masturbation)

To Know, To Be Known by cqlorphan (E, 38k, wangxian, PWP, Bottom LWJ, Top WWX, Cock Warming, Multiple Orgasms, Marathon Sex, Under-negotiated Kink, Porn with Feelings, Aftercare, Dom/sub Undertones, Established Relationship, let lwj get railed agenda, LWJ Learns Some Things about himself, sex tears, gratuitous use of names, Begging, Kink Discovery, Post-Canon, Top LWJ, Bottom WWX, Switching, Light Bondage, Blow Jobs, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Let wwx get tied up but also let lwj railed, Repressed LWJ, Inventor WWX, Cock Rings, Angst and Fluff and Smut, begging, talking about feelings, Dirty Talk, Rough Sex, Dildos, Rimming, Edging) link in #15

~*~

6. my first time sending an ask! this is for the i’m in a mood for thing, i wanted fics where xue yang ends up in the burial mounds and/or becoming wwx’s protégé, like canon divergence where he isn’t like a full spawn of evil

no one ever said the single-plank bridge had to be walked alone by rosemu (T, 124k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Yílíng Wèi Sect au, Fix-It, Not Everyone Dies, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, Fluff, Angst, Domestic Fluff, Canon-Typical Violence, Found Family, Slow Burn, LWJ and WWX get to be Dads together, the healing power of homoerotic flute/guqin duets, Happy Ending) XY is sent to the Burial Mounds to spy for JGY, becomes WWX's student & switches sides, is still snarky without being evil

~*~

7. Hi! I’m in the mood for fics where WWX comes back in MXYs body but it’s absolute canon divergence from there. Thanks for all your help! @empress-of-elsewhere

Home isn't Where the Heart is. by Hauntcats (Not rated, 7k, wangxian) Technically already an AU before WWX came back, since LWJ noped out of the Lans while he was dead, but might still count for the request

Love Song In Reverse by timetoboldlygo (T, 237k, WangXian, Amnesia, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Falling In Love, Slow Burn, agressively mixing and matching novel and cql canon, No Homophobia, Mentions of Starvation, Parental WWX)

~*~

8. heyyy, do yall have a cross dressing comp.?? if not can u rec some (or put this in itmf?)

My Leaves Reach Ever for the Sun by nonplussed (T, 26k, WangXian, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fix-It, Crossdressing, Idiots in Love, Sharing a Bed, Canon Divergence, Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies)

Wei Wuxian, Who’s That? by bumbledees (T, 48k, wangxian, crossdressing, pining, sibling feels)

we’ll get him falling for a stranger (or a catfish) by sweetlolixo (T, 38k, WangXian, Modern AU, College AU, Catfish AU, Eventual Happy Ending, Crossdressing WWX, Rich heir LWJ gets catfished by pretty WWX online that’s it that’s the fic, Pining LWJ, Fluff, Humor, lwj is a grade A+ SIMP, Identity Porn)

~*~

9. I've read a few fics with side plots of the lans learning about the culture of yunmeng and seeing all of the cultural differences, and was wondering if there were anymore fics like that? It could be any sect tbh I'm just super interested in the cultural differences between the sects. @reyoffuckingsunshine

~*~

10. do u have some outsider pov mdzs fics (especially if it's like from any of the juniors or lan xichen )

Time, Time, Time by skeletonofaplant (G, 44k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, LSZ & WWX, JYL & JL & JZX, LJY & LSZ, Time Travel Fix-It, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Identity Porn, Identity Reveal, Angst, Fluff, Junior Quartet Dynamics, Time Travelling Junior Ensemble, Junior Ensemble Shenanigans, Humor) Juniors pov time travel fic

Weep You No More, Sad Fountains by athena_crikey (T, 59k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, LXC & JGY, Canon Divergence, Fix-it, Whump, Curses, Fever, Delirium, Stabbing, Loneliness, Confessions, LWJ's emotional repression, WWX giving everything as always, LXC realising sympathy is not support, LQR Being an Asshole) LXC POV

The Story of El-ahrairah and the Rabbits of Cloud Recesses by zylaa (G, 1k, wangxian, Crack, Fluff, literal fluff, it's all about the rabbits) Definitely outsider pov as it's from characters from outside MDZS canon

There's a Baby Loose in the Burial Mounds! by ScarlettStorm (G, 3k, LSZ is the best boy, even the ghosts think so, OCs, But they're all dead, What is a family?, the burial mounds, sentient burial mounds, don't worry wangxian are together and in love, that's just not relevant to anything that happens in this fic, radish truther agenda) POV various ghosts

❤️ The One-Body Problem by metisket (T, 29k, LJY & WWX, LJY & LSZ, wangxian, possession, cohabitation, Mojo’s bookmark) LJY POC

pitfalls of greed by glitteringmoonlight (T, 3k, WangXian, POV Outsider, BAMF WWX, Kidnapping, Violence, YLLZ WWX, not exactly but the vibes are there, Post-Canon) POV random idiots

💖 Lessons relearned by Iamnotawriter (T, 44k, WangXian, LQR & WWX, Not Madam Yu Friendly, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Inventor WWX, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, No Golden Core Transfer, YZY Bashing) LQR POV

Oh, my precious didi! by PrinceInuYasha (G, 7k, wangxian, High School AU, LXC's pov, Misunderstandings, Fluff, Some angst, Protective WWX, overprotective LXC, Rumors, Established Relationship, bad boy WWX, but not really) link in #11

~*~

11. Do u have some lan xichen or jin ling pov fics esp ones that are already not quite so popular on ao3

Weep You No More, Sad Fountains by athena_crikey (T, 59k, wangxian, LXC & LWJ, LXC & JGY, Canon Divergence, Fix-it, Whump, Curses, Fever, Delirium, Stabbing, Loneliness, Confessions, LWJ's emotional repression, WWX giving everything as always, LXC realising sympathy is not support, LQR Being an Asshole) link in #10 LXC POV

Oh, my precious didi! by PrinceInuYasha (G, 7k, wangxian, High School AU, LXC's pov, Misunderstandings, Fluff, Some angst, Protective WWX, overprotective LXC, Rumors, Established Relationship, bad boy WWX, but not really)

climbing up that coastal shelf by Sour_Idealist (T, 15k, JC & JL & WWX, JC & JL, JC & WWX, JL & LSZ, JL & WWX, Post-Canon, Mutually Unrequited Forgiveness, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Family History, Generational Trauma, Discussion of Canonical Abuse, Awkward Attempts at Communication, mentions of past JC/WQ, Fairy is a good dog, Podfic by RevolutionaryJo)

a symbol to remind you that there's more to see by paperminds (T, 9k, JL & WWX, JC & JL, JC & WWX, canon-compliant, post-canon, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Mild/Moderate Angst with happy ending, Yunmeng Shuangjie, Twin Idiots, Reconciliation, JL has too many uncles, JL deserves a hug, JL will save us all, excessive verbosity by yours truly)

To Love What Is Mortal by treemaidengeek (T, 22k, XiSong, Post-Canon, Grief/Mourning, Fluff and Angst, Healing, past 3Zun, past SongXiao, background WangXian, background SL & WN, & LSZ, Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, [Podfic] To Love What Is Mortal by flamingwell)

Gentle Exile by rynleaf (E, 9k, XiSong, Post-Canon, Canonical Character Death, Grief/Mourning, References to Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Character Study, Epistolary, Post-Canon, Exploration, [PODFIC] Gentle Exile by flamingwell, semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona))

🔒hills and rivers are waiting by LtLJ (G, 15k, WangXian, CQL canon, Post-Canon, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, domestic fluff and angst, Family Feels, Canon-Typical Violence, Case Fic, BAMF WWX)

~*~

12. I’m ITMF a fic where it’s a AITA au / where the characters are in a AITA scenario @zerokogane

Am I (Gusu Lan Cultivator, 24 M) the Asshole? by moonwaif (M, 41k, wangxian, Modern Cultivation, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, Oblivious LWJ, Jealous LWJ, Jealous WWX, Misunderstandings, No actual Wei Ying x Others, A "What If Wei Wuxian Figured Out His Own Feelings First?" AU, Hanguang-jun unlearns compulsory heteronormativity, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, give LWJ friends agenda)

~*~

13. hi! for itmf i wanted to ask, are there any fics where cssr's infidelity accusation gets addressed definitively? it's mentioned sometimes but there aren't ever consequences for yzy or the other gossipers, or wwx doesn't get to honor and take pride in his parents (I'll also take any angsty options where the the jfm-bastard assumption gets wwx in trouble) thank you!!

~*~

14. hey admins! i'm in the mood for any fics where wwx is depressed and sad, but people help him? i'm in an angsty mood, thanks!

🔒🧡 rain falls and soaks into the earth series by RoseThorne (T, 53k, WangXian, WIP, Near Death Experience, Attempt Drowning, Madam Yu Bashing, Recovery, No war AU)

🔒 tuck me in by belovedmuerto (T, 4k, WangXian, bed sharing, Hurt/Comfort, mostly comfort, Pre-Slash, Getting Together, Nightmares, expressions of care)

~*~

15. hi! if you dont mind me asking, what is the mdzs/the untamed fic with the best smut you ever read? any kind of fic is fair game

Make me by anaphoricae (E, 180k, wangxian, Modern, Dom/sub, Dominant WWX, Submissive LWJ, Friends With Benefits, Pining while fucking, Co-workers, Praise Kink, Touch-Starved LWJ, Semi-Public Sex, Exhibitionism, Nipple Play, Mutual Masturbation, Overstimulation, POV WWX, In which I trick you into reading about Wangxian falling in love by making you think it's all just a smut fic, Brief Mentions of WWX/Others and LWJ/Others, Bondage, Blindfolds, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Flogging, Chair Bondage, Aftercare, Edging, Jealous LWJ, Facials, Come as Lube, and also lube as lube, Cock & Ball Torture, But it's mild, Coming Untouched, Deepthroating, Face-Fucking, Face Slapping, Choking, Subspace, Couch Sex, LWJ sitting on WWXs lap agenda, Biting, Spanking, LWJ having his cheeks pinched as a treat, So much RESPECT and TRUST this is actually way softer than the tags make it seem, Bottom LWJ, POV LWJ, Rope Bondage, Office Sex, Rope Bunny LWJ, Spit As Lube, LWJ's canonical habit of keeping (stealing) Wei Wuxian's things, Intercrural Sex, Light Angst, Blow Jobs, Snowballing, Service Submission, Lingerie, LWJ's brain going BRRRRR, Jealous WWX, Cock Rings, Cock Warming, Collars, Power Play, Orgasm Control, LWJ and WWX's inability to pretend they're not actually madly in love with each other, slight degradation [Affectionate], Miscommunication, Impact Play, Rigger WWX, BDSM fetish party, Public Blow Jobs, Rope Suspension, Cuddlefucking, Fluff, LWJ and WWX being boyfriends without realizing they're boyfriends, Porn with Feelings, Body Worship) lots of bdsm and stuff so u might wanna check out the tags

To Know, To Be Known by cqlorphan (E, 38k, wangxian, PWP, Bottom LWJ, Top WWX, Cock Warming, Multiple Orgasms, Marathon Sex, Under-negotiated Kink, Porn with Feelings, Aftercare, Dom/sub Undertones, Established Relationship, let lwj get railed agenda, LWJ Learns Some Things about himself, sex tears, gratuitous use of names, Begging, Kink Discovery, Post-Canon, Top LWJ, Bottom WWX, Switching, Light Bondage, Blow Jobs, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Let wwx get tied up but also let lwj railed, Repressed LWJ, Inventor WWX, Cock Rings, Angst and Fluff and Smut, begging, talking about feelings, Dirty Talk, Rough Sex, Dildos, Rimming, Edging)

🔒sleep in your bed by copperwings (E, 12k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Fluff, Humor, Smut, Attempt at Humor, Boys Kissing, Emotional Sex, Anal Sex)

Fentao-laoshi’s Guide to Cut-Sleeve Pleasures by occultings (microcomets) (E, 31k, wangxian, canon divergence, pining while fucking, friends with benefits, first time, cloud recesses study arc, practice kissing, sharing a bed, jealousy, getting together, confessions, happy ending)

~*~

16. Hi! This is for ITMF ✨

I'm looking for two kind of fics:

A) Cloud Recesses Arc where WWX and LWJ are together soon, Happy ending pls. I like longer fics, but shorts ones are OK. 🤗💕

B) Travel time fics where WWX (I prefer WWX but if it's LWJ it's ok too) travel in time to fix everything and save everyone. I love this kind of fics. Please give me all you have. Happy endings, pls. 💕😉

Thanks for everything!! Ily 🤟😊 @wangxiansgirl

16A)

❤️ Gentians in bloom by teawater (M, 251k, wangxian, canon divergence, political marriage, dysfunctional family, implied/referenced self-harm, hurt/comfort, fix-it, implied/referenced suicide, BAMF WWX, eventual happy ending, not YZY friendly, not LQR friendly (kind of), Mojo’s bookmark)

16B)

the cycle of regret by KouriArashi (T, 14k, WangXian, Groundhog Day, Fix-It, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Alternate Canon) LWJ stuck in a time loop

Regrets by antebunny (G, 38k, wangxian, miscommunication, misundersandings, time travel fix-it, temporary character death, angst w/ happy ending, fluff, hurt/comfort) Both LWJ & WWX time travel

Here With Me by iamwish (T, 58k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time travel Fix-It, No war AU, Not YZY Friendly, Somebody Lives/Not everyone dies, Established Relationship) WWX time travels

Ad Oblivione by Baph, HikariNoHimeWriter (M, 70k, WangXian, Time Travel Fix-It, Temporary Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, POV Multiple, Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Identity Reveal, Golden Core Reveal, Cultivation World Critical, Not JC Friendly, Abusive YZY, Angst with a Happy Ending) WWX time travels

A Narrow Bridge by FrameofMind, Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle) (E, 700k, wangxian, time travel fix-it, slow burn, getting together, first time, pining, pining while fucking, burial mounds settlement days, angst w happy ending) LWJ time travels

🔒 Hope series by RoseThorne (M, 59k, wangxian, WIP, Transmigration, Time Travel Fix-It, Illnesses, Family, Scars, Memory Loss, Angst, Crying, Music, Nosebleed, Fear, Recovery, Nightmares, Sharing a Bed, Flirting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Parent YZY, Referenced Sexual Slavery, Blood and Gore, Monsters, Sexual Tension, betrothal, Arranged Marriage, Adoption, POV Third Person, POV Alternating, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Good Parent LQR, Clairvoyance, Butterfly Effect, Kid Fic, Epistolary, Food, Secrets, Resentful Energy, Cultivation Sect Politics, Character Death, Resentment, Anger, Explosions, Yīn Iron, Grief/Mourning, POV WWX)

Wish Me Luck by Starlight1395 (Not rated, 164k, wangxian, time travel, fix it, PTSD) It's the perfect angsty/cute combo time travel fix-it fix! Also fits #16A

And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 139k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together)

~*~

17. Hola! Nice to meet you ☺️

I want to ask for some fics in ITMF. Lately I'm reading a lot of Wangxian fics where they kiss or confess in Xuanwu cave or Gusu cave. I like when they have their happy ending, long fics better. (I'm happy with mpreg and omegaverse too).

Thx!!

💙🔒 Wish I could forget the taste of your skin and the feel of your hands pinning me down by KizuKatana (E, 63k, wangxian, WQ & WWX & WN, modern w/ cultivation, getting back together, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, case fic, pining)

hope dangling by a string by KouriArashi (M, 70k, wangxian, JC/WQ, JYL/JZX, LXC & LWJ, JC & WWX, Alternate Canon, Fix-It, Everybody Lives, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Psychic Bond, Telepathy, Communication, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, jiang family feels, Lan Family Feels, Canon-Typical Violence, canon typical political bullshit, improper use of sacred forehead ribbons, gratuitous hair washing)

Quartet series by WithBroomBefore (T, 69k wangxian, JZX & JC & WWX & LWJ, Canon Divergence, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, WWX's canonical comfort with the prospect of his own death, Hurt/Comfort, JZX makes friends, Eventual Happy Ending, some unhappiness along the way, Canon-Typical Violence, JC keeps his golden core, JYL Lives, WQ Lives, Minor Character Death, Kissing, WWX Lives, no golden core transfer, JZX Lives, Fix-It, WN Lives, Weeping, temporary major character death, Murder Road Trip, Implied Sexual Content, Sunshot Campaign, Nonbinary NHS, Telepathy, platonic group soulbonding, Family, Found Family, POV WWX, Podfic Available, Siblings Sworn Brothers, aroace JZX, Happy Ending, all the Wen remnants live, POV JZX, JGY is less murdery, Asexual Character, Aromantic Character, JZX's social awkwardness, Poison) the first part starts with the Xuanwu cave and confessions/realisations.

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[kyunniebuns]

//Solo Leveling yume

Introducing: Geum Seul-ae!!! Jinwoo's silly mage girlfriend.

Trope: Strangers to Friends to Lovers.

About Seul-ae ୭ 🧷 ✧ ˚. ᵎᵎ 🎀

Age: Same age as Jinwoo

Height: 152cm/5'0

Birthday: 04/09

Mbti: Infp

Rank: A-rank (She Reawakens to S rank later on)

Affiliation: None

Type: Mage

Title: Lady of Bloodied Petals, Her Highness of the sea

Powers: Sacred Primordial Sea, Botanokinesis

Regression ୭ 🧷 ✧ ˚. ᵎᵎ 🎀

Job: Freelance Artist, youtube vlogger><

♡ Seul-ae is one of those cute cozy youtube vloggers who don't share their face and voice on the video. She often posts about her art process + daily diaries as well as showing off her cute outfits<3

♡ Her content is mostly: draw with me, ootd, mundane life things, cooking, walking in parks and taking pictures of flowers or anything she finds pretty

Personality ୭ 🧷 ✧ ˚. ᵎᵎ 🎀

♡ She's a very lovely and sweet girl, though she is very insecure and anxious. Seul-ae stutters in her words a lot and gets tired of conversations easily, leading her to tend to attempt ending conversations without the other person noticing. Of course, she is still polite and very attentive, she just gets drained very very fast.

♡ At first sight, people always mistake her as cold and distant but she is actually a sunshine type of girl. She just has a poker face most of the time^^;;

♡ Seul-ae often imitates people out of fear that she would offend them. She observes how the other people act and tries her best to blend in so that she won't be bullied. Her real personality is quite eccentric in a way that she can't talk about things she loves such as whales and sharks. She often suppresses that side of her so that she can avoid being an outcast. She used to be one of those weird kids who got bullied in elementary and got shaken to the point that she became a people-pleaser. Seul-ae is only comfortable with people she is close to and most especially Jinwoo. He is her safe space.

♡ Seul-ae is not an academic achiever, she is in fact very academically challenged and only has average grades of C and D minus her art subjects. She hates studying anything except for marine life in which she can get heavy detail in.

♡ In her hunter days, Seul-ae was known as one of the kindest and most warm hunters there is. She has fans whom she often interacts with kindly and respectfully. Though she doesn't work with any guild, high ranked hunters like Choi Jong-in often invite her to assist in their raids and she helps willingly even offers to not get paid^^.

Love Story with Jinwoo ୭ 🧷 ✧ ˚. ᵎᵎ 🎀

Their ties go way back to elementary. They have heard of each other but never really interacted. But from what Jinwoo knew, she was one of those eccentric and obnoxious girls who have such loud voices during recess. In middle school, she was known for her absolute avoidance of feminine things. In senior high where they officially meet as classmates, Jinwoo was shocked to find how much Seul-ae had changed in a not good way. She became a loner but was still polite and respectful. He even noticed her having anxious episodes and often avoided conversations with anyone. However, Seul-ae was well known for her artistic capabilities and often won in art contests, which she doesn't really seem to be proud of.

After graduating, they never met again until his E-ranked days. Seul-ae hasn't awakened yet, but when she saw how much Jinwoo suffers trying to work, she offered him what little money she had. Seul-ae often visits Jinwoo in his odd jobs outside of hunting and gives him free food to eat out of kindness. They lose touch for a bit since Jinwoo keeps disappearing. But after a year, Seul-ae became an S-ranker after experiencing double awakening who is also now well beloved, and Jinwoo followed right after her, ascending as shadow monarch this time.

Seul-ae was extremely happy to have met Jinwoo again and wouldn't stop talking to him enthusiastically which he found adorable. And eventually, the two started to date. They didn't really hide it nor did they announce it.

When Jinwoo regressed, he approached Seul-ae in senior high and courted her again before returning her memories with him.

Their trope is just sunshine x sunshine protector<3. I love this trope a lot heheh.

Their Emojis: 🐈‍⬛🪼

[aquatark]

My previous post made me realize that not a lot of people here are aware of Endless Ocean's bowmouth guitarfish glitch fiasco, which I think is a shame because 1) it's an interesting look into this game's history, and 2) I find it really funny... long-winded explanation incoming!

So! you see this guy?

You can place him in the game's aquarium, right? I bet if you've played the game, you've done it without even thinking twice!

...Well, in the initial Japanese release of Endless Ocean (known over there as Forever Blue), you couldn't. In fact, attempting to place this little scrimbly in the aquarium crashes your game.

Now this isn't too bad, since you can just press the reset button and continue your game normally, right? well... if you happen to leave the aquarium and save the game after having opened the creature placing menu, selecting a bowmouth guitarfish, and then closing the menu without placing anything... then congrats! you can never use the aquarium again, because it autoplaces whatever you left in that menu on your next visit! :D

In case you're wondering what this looks like in action, this video taken around the game's launch showcases it well, while also using the game's MP3 playback feature to put some anime music in the background, which I think adds to the experience:

So... how does this happen? How could something like this make it into the final game?

Turns out, this is due to how Endless Ocean categorizes creatures internally. Each creature in the game falls into a category, depending on the movements and behaviors the developers wanted to give them. For example, "migrate" type creatures follow a set of coordinate points creating a route around a stage, whereas "swim" type creatures simply swim around the area in which they are placed within a certain radius. Think of a whale shark's movements versus that of a butterflyfish - they have very different AI telling them how to behave.

Now, trying to load a creature of one type as a creature of another... does not make the game happy, to put it lightly. It doesn't know how to handle the request, and so crashes to prevent further weirdness from ensuing. There is only one byte (literally the second smallest unit of digital information storage you could use) per creature responsible for telling the game what type to load the creature as, and this includes when placing creatures in the aquarium. A slip of the keyboard caused a dev to type the wrong number in this byte, making it attempt to spawn bowmouth guitarfish placed in the aquarium as "swim" type rather than their correct "migrate" type. Literally one wrong number caused the game to crash, and for ears to bleed across Japan.

Since the aquarium is unlocked so early in the game, people discovered this on day one, in their first play session... and since Endless Ocean was a launch game for the Wii in Japan, that's even worse. It's not exactly a great look for your brand new console to have a game break so bad you can't use a mechanic anymore. And Wii game crashes are not pretty. So, Nintendo put out a statement on the day of release, notifying people of the problem, how to avoid it, and saying that a recall would be put in place. A week later, they released another statement, which stated people could apply to have their games replaced with an updated version, which would be mailed to them free of charge, by either phoning in or filling out an application online. This service continued up until 2020, over ten years after release! They really didn't want any copies of the broken version around... good thing we have archives of it!

The updated version even has different box art, with an added blue bar at the bottom, showcased in this incredibly crunchy image:

I love picturing Nintendo executives freaking out after a humble diving game causes such a mess they have to print the game again, losing them a lot of money and causing the game to get a lot of negative press...

I've seen old forum threads talking about the game as if it's garbage before it even came out internationally, because this situation was pretty much the only major news coming out about it. Can't have helped sales, at least...

Anyway, the game was patched to fix this glitch, along with a few other minor tweaks, and it was this version of the game that got translated worldwide. Japanese fans love joking about the whole ordeal, and I can see why! For example, on the bowmouth guitarfish's Niconico Pedia page (for which the closest equivalent in English would be something like Know Your Meme), this is recounted comedically as "...probably the most notable moment for the bowmouth guitarfish in the history of the internet", which is probably true! There's even image macros about it!

So yeah. The bowmouth guitarfish's reputation was forever tainted, and some Nintendo execs to this day probably wince when they see one.

tl;dr - A developer for Endless Ocean typed one number wrong in the code, making the game explode if you place a bowmouth guitarfish in the aquarium. Nintendo had to recall the game, and that specific fish has lived on in infamy among Japanese fans ever since.

Next time you use the aquarium, try putting a bowmouth guitarfish in there, and be grateful you can at all!

[decepticon-nerd]

Transformers: Earthspark - Season 3

Personal thoughts and opinions. Spoilers, obviously

1: Breakdown

I am a bit confused by Breakdown’s character in the series overall.

When we are introduced to him, it isn’t as a loyal to the cause Decepticon, it’s as a friend of Bee’s who seems to want nothing other than the freedom to go racing when and wherever he pleases. However, in the last two seasons we see him betray Bee more than once. In the first episode of this latest season, Bee sneaks into the dome with Mo and Thrash specifically to get Breakdown out, and Breakdown turns on him in favor of the other cons. Repeatedly through the show he’s gone back and forth between loyalty to Bee and loyalty to the cons.

I’m willing to accept that perhaps I’m misunderstanding the character right now, but in my (current) personal opinion, he seems incredibly inconsistently written.

2. Tarantulas

There is still no sign of Tarantulas since his first introduction. I am unsure if the character was cut outright due to budget reasons, but I’m disappointed that he does not reappear. A friend of mine stated that he could be dead, but we see no evidence of this in the show. Furthermore, he does not board Prowl’s ship with the other cons to head back to Cybertron. That being said, if he is alive, he is still on Earth somewhere.

3. Fair Maestro

I'm kicking this man right in the balls. He's annoying and he needs to be arrested with multiple unlawful imprisonment charges.

4. Megatron

I don't really give a shit if people like Earthspark Megatron or not, and I don't really care if he could have done more to stop G.H.O.S.T. All I care about is the fact that this man calls Twitch "Little Bird" multiple times and I am just

He loves these children with all his spark and I am experiencing emotions over it

5. Prowl

First impressions: I want to punch his teeth out. In a way, he kind of reminds me of Knockout - he initially calls the humans 'pets' and refers to them as fleshies multiple times. Due to a misunderstanding, he also physically attacks Megatron.

As episodes progress, he verbally attacks Megatron as well, at last until Megatron saves his ass.

He's blunt, he's relatively rude, and he's rough around the edges, but overall I personally think he's written well, and the show does a good job of keeping him from being a copaganda character.

There's also his side profile which made me physically recoil

Sir you look like a beluga whale why is your forehead so big

6. Starscream

This motherfucker got himself stuck in a baby jail of his own making and when we finally get to hear him speak again he's fucking having tea with Spitfire's corpse propped up in a chair across a table from him. Then Jawbreaker bites him, Hashtag kills him, and Prowl arrests him

7. Terratronus

Now we're getting into one of the big things that bother me the most. There is a whole ass green alien dome in the middle of the city. There is a whole ass titan in the middle of the city. Why isn't getting the dome down and making sure there's no civilians stuck inside with cons and a chaos storm one of the Autobot's biggest priorities?

Follow up question, why are the civilians of Witwicky just going about their day to day like nothing has happened?

In this day and age, someone has likely posted video footage to social media. The government should be fully involved by now, yet the most we see is Schloder tailing a road raging Bumblebee after he's infected with the hate plague.

That aside, we do finally get to see Terratronus in all her glory. And also, apparently, the power of friendship can turn this titan into a Valkyrie that can put TF1 Sentinel Prime to shame.

8. The Maltos

I think this bugs me the most, and I didn't even notice until my friend pointed it out. I think they may have whitewashed Mo and Robbie a bit. Not cool, Hasbro

Other things of note:

Ew, human romance and secondhand embarrassment

Oh, Izzy is a quintesson spy. Interesting. What happened to the real girl, then?

The chaos terrans are not dead

Breakdown get your ass back here you left your son behind

Frenzy and Laserbeak are iconic. Love them

Hasbro stop being homophobic and give us a medic you had the perfect opportunity with a FUCKING DRIVE IN THEATER

[burningreactor]

"Blue Whale" - russian suicide game

(also known by "Quiet House", "Wake Me up at 4:20", "Sea of Whales", "Milky Way", "U19", "F57" and others)

A phenomenon from the Russian internet in 2015-2017. Nowadays it is considered an urban legend about groups in Vkontakte (Russian equivalent of Facebook) where you could take a challenge that end with your death.

-poem that teenagers posted on their pages

The blue whale will save me

He will lead me to #quiethouse

#f57 gives us all no peace

#f58 we know that help is coming

#I'll cut one, two, three

#bluewhale save me

In order to start the "game", users post the hashtags (bluewhale, imingame, blue, quiethouse, etc.) on their pages, after which they are contacted by a "curator". The curator first explains the rules: "don't tell anyone about this game", "always complete tasks, whatever they may be", "if you failed, you are excluded from the game forever and bad consequences await you", then the curator begins to issue tasks. There are usually about 50 tasks: one per day. This may be an allusion to Stace Kramer's novel 50 Days Before My Suicide. The curators demanded a photo report from the victims. The pictures had to be sent at 4:20 a.m. In the final, the player was allegedly forced to commit suicide.

The tasks themselves often teetered on the verge of idiocy - the curators asked to draw a whale on a piece of paper, cut the symbols #f40 and #f57 with a blade on arm, go out to greet the dawn on the roof, prick with a needle in their body all day or listen to scary audios. In one of the variations of the "Blue Whale", the teenager was informed on the 22nd task of the date of their death, after which they had to humble and swear allegiance to the game, and then wake up at 4:20 for 20 days, watch psychedelic videos and leave cuts on the arm.

To intimidate the players, the curators threw the player a link with a sniffer, a program that allows you to find out the IP address and approximate area of residence of the user. Teens was horrified by sniffers, especially when trying to leave the game. Curators sent them their home address and promise to kill their relatives. Because of this, some children did not dare to stop playing, although there is no evidence that any of them eventually reached the 50th task and committed suicide.

VK blocked access to the groups the pages of their administrators and thematic hashtags. Many who decided to join the game complained about the lack of messages from the curators. But numerous opponents of the "Blue Whale", calling themselves "dolphins", knocked on them. Their communities and general behavior model are essentially copied from the public "Sea of Whales", the administrator of which Philip Chelov in May 2016 tried to confront Philip Fox and his death groups.

-------------------------------------

Trolls quickly found the suicidal game, including the inhabitants of the anonymous image board "Dvach" (Russian equivalent of 4chan). Trolls have been massively entering the game from fake pages and sending curators absurd questions or catching them on contradictions. For example, they claimed that the whale scratched on the arm with a blade would not be blue, but red, they offered to use drugs together at 4:20 or presented as officers. Some threw sniffer links to the curators, found out their home address and scared the FSB special forces who had already left for them.

Thanks to the trolls, internet community and teens themselves have finally realized the truth: there is no cult in Russia that purposefully drives teenagers to suicide. Moreover, all anonymous curators of death games are often the same teenagers as their potential victims.

-------------------------------------

Novaya Gazeta journalists claimed that between 2015 and early 2016, about 130 children died while participating in the game, but the sources of this information are unknown. Both the journalists of Novaya Gazeta, who spread information about the phenomenon the most, and the journalists of other publications in their articles never provided any objective data on the number of victims of the game. This number of victims is not confirmed by goverment either. The game's popularity peaked in February 2017, when more than 800 users posted the hashtag #bluewhale, waiting for instructions.

The popularity of the Blue Whale is also linked to the death of Renata Palenkova, better known as Rina Palenkova, a schoolgirl who took a selfie before throwing herself under a train in November 23, 2015.

The news of the death groups sent the parents into a panic. They massively disseminated information about the blue whale and asked other parents to be more attentive with their children.

The popularity of the blue whale has spread to other countries. Among them were the countries of Europe and Asia closest to Russia, as well as countries abroad.

-------------------------------------

Roskomnadzor promised to check all the materials set out in the Novaya Gazeta article. On May 20, the Main Directorate of the Investigative Committee decided to initiate a criminal case on the grounds of a crime provided for incitement to suicide.

On November 15, 2016, one of the defendants in the case, the administrator of a number of communities, Philip "Fox" Budeikin, was detained. He and a number of his accomplices are charged with driving at least 15 teenagers to suicide. On the eve of his arrest, Philip Budeikin gave an interview where he stated that he suffers from bipolar disorder. However, a forensic psychiatric examination found him sane. His goal was to purge society of bio trash. On July 17, 2017, court sentenced Philip for driving minors to suicide using social networks to imprisonment for a period of 3 years and 4 months in a penal colony.

-------------------------------------

Since June 7, 2017, Russia has had a law on criminal liability for the creation of death groups, providing for up to 6 years in prison. It is still not clear whether the blue whale had victims, because it is difficult to establish due to the panic that arose at the time, where any suicide was attributed to death groups. Even the famous Rina is not a victim of the instigation of the curator.

[srirax619]

Tell me about your planet

Hey, y'all, how goes? This is a snippet from my AU (still unnamed) were both Pines brothers fall into the portal. I was watching nature videos and got inspired. This is a very short chapter, from around the 3rd quarter of the story. Shouldn't give spoilers, I don't think. Let me know what you think.

“Tell me about your planet… I have never been anywhere but here. What is it like? Is it beautiful? Is it a wasteland?” Mila asked the brothers, her cigarette-like herbal paper wrap dangling from her respiration flaps. 

This was the first time in many years that anyone had asked about their home. Those familiar with Earth usually were not from their dimension, didn’t think too much of it. Those unfamiliar had heard stories of the idiocy of its inhabitants with regard to things like nuclear war and environmental damage. It wasn’t the only planet that was the victim of greed, but it was really all people knew about their home, usually. 

Ford could tell this was a question borne of genuine curiosity and was struggling with how to respond, debating where to start. 

Before he could, Stanley said, “My brother here, he’s got a compulsion to know. To understand. To learn everything possible. I used to joke, when we were children, that he would make his head pop if he wasn’t careful. On our planet, just like others, one of the highest accolades one can get for their intellect, is to get a PhD, to become a doctor. You can become a doctor of many subjects. In general, it takes most people around a decade– that means ten years– to accomplish one PhD. My brother has 12 PhDs.”

Stanley took a drag from his not-cigarette. He smiled at the young native. “With all of that intellect, all of that collected knowledge, my brother has not BEEN to every place on our planet. He hasn’t seen the dunes of the Sahara, a massive desert on the opposite side of the planet than where we lived. He hasn’t ever witnessed a continent made almost completely of frozen water. There are places with rocks that are pillars, yet hexagonal. There are oceans and lakes and rivers that range in color from black to blue to red. There are creatures on our planet that haven’t even yet been discovered by scientists, like my brother. People that spend their ENTIRE lives in the pursuit of discovery, and never complete their work. There are indeed wastelands, but even they have their own beauty. The majority of our world is green and lush, where there is land, and wide and blue, where there is ocean. The majority of the planet is ocean. People, mostly, live on land. There are places where they have birds– they are a form of avian, like your Makachu– that walk as tall as a humanoid. There are creatures that weigh as much as your house and yet only eat the tiniest microbes. There are hives of insects that have a form of agriculture where they harvest greens to feed to small fungal colonies in order to later eat those fungal colonies. Some places have trees so big that we tunnel into the trees, just to drive automobiles through, and the trees still thrive! There are whales, like your fish but massive, and they breathe air instead of water, so big that you could walk through their organs while standing up. There are bioluminescent krill that make the shore of the ocean glow at night. There is a place where lightning strikes over 1000 times in 365 days– that’s how long our year is on our planet. It’s dangerous, so dangerous that even accidentally breathing water into your nose, even if you manage not to drown, can leave amoebas in your brain and kill you. And yet, there seems to be a plant or an herb for almost every ailment that you can get. I have seen people survive venoms because a doctor had already synthesized an anti-venom by using the original venom. There’s a type of fish that, with a single drop of its venom, can kill an animal the size of your house. And none of that is the amazing achievements of human engineering, some of which are awe-inspiring… some of which are terrible. Human’s, Mila, are the most dangerous creatures on our planet. I’m sure you’ve heard the stories of our pollution or nuclear wars….” Stanley cleared his throat and sat straighter. “For as dangerous as each thing can be, it is without a doubt the most beautiful place I have ever seen, and we’ve been traveling the multiverse for 7 years now.” Stan finally turned to the other two and smiled, genuinely, and with a fond expression. He sighed deeply and looked up at the gray sunset before them. 

Both Ford and Mila looked at Stanley in awe. 

“I couldn’t tell you about our planet if I spent a lifetime on it. But I can tell you that I think about it every single day.” 

Mila chittered affectionately. “It sounds pretty amazing. I have a few questions, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course,” Ford responded automatically, still staring into nothingness.

“What is an ocean?” she asked innocently. Both brothers laughed. She bristled a bit. “What?” 

Ford turned fully toward the young native. “All this sand, the beautiful dunes that surround us?” 

“Yes?”

“Imagine that the sand was all water. Water so deep that it went for kilometers down, so deep that the pressure from the weight of it all would crush you, the further down you went. Imagine that it was so massive, so deep, that the largest creature on your planet could not just call it home, but have so much room to move that for hundreds of thousands of years, that creature was thought to be a myth, for how few of your people had seen it. Imagine water so deep that the equipment you had to attempt to just find out how deep it went would not survive the journey.” Mila’s eye stalks glowed, her species equivalent to whistling. 

“Sounds terrifying.” 

Stan chuckled. “The sailors– that would be people who use vehicles to traverse the ocean– call the ocean and its chaos a cruel mistress. It’s a phrase that implies that she, the ocean, is both a giver and taker of life.”

“On our planet, every life’s evolutionary cycle began in the ocean,” Ford added. “In fact, most life on earth is STILL in the ocean. When life on our planet began, the entire place was covered in water. Imagine that– a place with no land anywhere.” 

Mila snuffed out her herbal stick and stood from her perch. “I would love to hear more about your Earth. It sounds like children’s stories.” She chittered affectionately and turned to walk away. “Hopefully I see you two again. I’ll be back here tomorrow, same time if you’re still around.” 

Once she was out of earshot, Ford turned to Stan and smiled fondly. He switched back to English. “That was the most beautiful description of anything I think I have ever heard from you!” 

Stan smiled, bowing his head. “S’ true. I think ‘bout home every day. Don’t get many chances to talk about it.”

“How do you know so much about the geography of home?” Ford teased. “Awfully nerdy of you.”

Stan scoffed. “I can pick up a BOOK, Sixer.” He waved off his brother. “Used to …well, the library was always free, and if it was cold… ya know. ‘Course they would frown upon loiterin’, so…” Stan cleared his throat. “Truth is, the reason I decided to take a buddy up on a few jobs in South America was… The travel books, them pictures. Moses, Ford… the beauty on those pages… Black and white or not, it was entrancing. It was the real treasure I went for.... And it couldn’t be taken from me.” 

“Every time,” Ford said.

“Huh?”

“Every time I think I know all there is to know about you, I am proven so very wrong.” 

Stan smirked. “Maybe one day you will.” 

“Well it looks like you’ll get a chance to talk about it with Mila, at least. She seems like a kind person.”

“Kid’s got a good heart, or…ya know, whatever drives her species' blood circulation.” The scanner on Stan’s wrist began to give a familiar hum. “Damn… Looks like I won’t get that chance. New rift incoming about one klick from here, let’s get there as quick as we can.” The brothers stood and shuffled quickly in the direction the scanner indicated. 

[bouncybrain]

About Honkai: Star Rail versions 2.4 to 2.7

I haven't sat down to write about the gameplay experience for the last several versions, so I'm going to stuff it all in here. Likely will make zero sense unless you actually played through all Trailblaze Missions. Events will be ignored because I have enough opinions about the story and this is already going to be very long.

Disclaimer: Don't you say a single thing about so-and-such lore being expanded on in such-and-so video because if they wanted us to know that lore so badly, they should put it in their fucking game. I don't care that they do lore in videos, and I don't watch them, because I play the game to learn that, and they shouldn't rely on extraneous materials to explain their lore.

Disclaimer 2: I have passionate thoughts about this but I also have the memory of an 80s computer. I forget a lot, but I'm willing to expand if you want my opinion on something if you remind me of it!

2.4 & 2.5: Finest Duel Under the Pristine Blue & Flying Aureus Shot to Lupine Rue (The Xianzhou 3)

The Wardance was a great idea. I enjoyed that there was a little government intrigue in the middle of all this. And then Yunli and March became a focus and I lost all care for the story, because I despise March 7th on a fundamental level and Yunli is the absolute worst type of character to introduce while pairing her off with March. Yunli's story and character is unbelievably uninteresting and bland for all that she could have been a very interesting person, having come from a different Xianzhou compared to everyone we know, already.

"But Yunli is still young!" and I do not care. She irritated me every single moment she tried to one-up Yanqing for????????? Reasons, apparently! Even the fact that she was there purely to be a rival for Yanqing felt unnecessary and forced. There was no reason for her to be there beyond selling jade packs. Her design is clearly bait for terrible people who are willing to whale for any female character with her toes out. In fact, I hate that her design doesn't wear shoes, because she's supposed to be a fucking warrior. What kind of warrior goes off to fight and step on swords and dance around completely fucking barefoot?

Anyway. Her and March were the greatest deterrents to my enjoyment. Other than that is the fact that Hoyo can't trust their audience to put hints together unless they state it outright six thousand times before the reveal. This does not make it better than the out-of-nowhere reveals. In fact, I think I hate this more. There is no fun in hearing everyone go "ohhhhh she's sick, she's ill, she needs a cure" like three times in five minutes. What's the point in avoiding Feixiao's name if she's just going to pop up and completely ruin the mystery as soon as it's been established?

Feixiao's story was fine, honestly. It was okay. I wasn't blown away by it, or the implications, the lore was just passing. Everyone already said a lot about the war between Foxians and borisin (I completely forgot what they were called and had to look it up). Hell, Jiaoqiu's story, as a healer in the middle of the fight, getting captured and being among the borisin during the escape, was more in-depth over what the borisin are like as a people and society! There just wasn't enough time spent properly building up the history between Foxians and borisin, and Feixiao and borisin, and Jiaoqiu and Feixiao, and Jiaoqiu and borisin, and whatever the hell is going on with Moze.

The largest problem with the overall story update was that they took so long to get to the point that they forgot they needed to spend that time building up to the point.

They completely skip the Player and Dan Heng getting out of the Shackling Prison. They give use two lines of dialogue about Dan Heng's time in the prison. Dan Heng says like two things about it. That's it? Really? This guy spent a significant amount of time in the Shackling Prison, enough to clearly have emotions over going back to it, and we skip all of that just to get to...?

If they spent more time on building up the story and characters, then I wouldn't have as much of a problem with this. Instead they wanted to shove as much as possible into one update while hoping the pacing worked well enough. It didn't. We missed out on so many character moments because they wanted to get things moving too quickly with too many different ideas and storylines stuffed together.

I liked Jiaoqiu's sections, actually. They were a good exploration of his character, demonstrated who he is as a person well, and he isn't fundamentally annoying as hell. Then they went "oh yeah he's blind now lol" and my expectations crumbled, because Hoyo is not known for doing representation well (throwback to the kid who's had autism since he was little). I have no expectations for him if he ever returns in the future.

Why the fuck Moze here??????? Why he look like that??????? That is all, thank you.

"You didn't say anything about the main antagonist of this arc" well that's because he's kind of flat and typical. The only real novelty he brings to the table is his abilities and being a new boss. The borisin are all incredibly tropey, including the one we see speaking the most often (I called him Greasy). In fact, Greasy looked so much like a bad guy I almost started laughing out loud as soon as I saw him. He sounded evil, looked evil, and, surprise! He was evil. That's it. The borisin are little more than tropey bad guys. I liked the designs of the borisin, I did! But honestly that was it. As I said earlier, I totally forgot what they were called.

At the end of the day, this third Xianzhou story arc was actually boring and disappointing for all the great possibilities they gave to us. They dropped the ball on making an important return to the Xianzhou, which is actually very significant because this is the third time we've been to the Xianzhou for a story update. You want to make a story good enough people forget they've been back to this particular location for the nth time.

2.6 & 2.7: Annals of Pinecany's Mappou Age & A New Venture on the Eighth Dawn

I would have liked Paperfold better if Rappa wasn't a thing, honestly. They shoved her in like a circle block in a square hole; she was a bridge across the story happening in Paperfold, but she wasn't the best fit for a bridge for this type of story. I think part of my problem with Rappa's whole "I'm so totally this ninja and everyone else is going to follow along because I won't listen if you don't want to" shtick didn't sit well coming immediately after Yunli's "I'm so much better than you and I'm going to make you think so, too, so shut up because I'm the best and I'll prove it easily" shtick.

If Hoyo so desperately wanted to introduce another Galaxy Ranger with a proper motive for being involved and dragging Boothill back into the story, they could have done this a million different ways without resorting to the exact same forceful personality type they seem to be leaning a little too hard on, these days.

As it is, Rappa's complete disregard for everything and everyone while being forced to go along with her at every turn and being forced into a friendly relationship with her felt awful. They need to stop forcing the players into being friends with literally everyone. It's okay for players to not like all the characters they can pull for. It's okay for players to not want to be friends with everyone. If a player picks a "no" type option, let the player pick no. Unbelievable how often we're railroaded into saying yes even when we say no.

"But Rappa's whole worldview was warped under the experiments she went through!" so a noble ninja is justified in ignoring others' wishes to continue on their mission of... *checks notepad* chasing a guy that isn't even there?

There are too many forceful characters being introduced on top of March, who also bulldozes everyone for the sake of what she (the writing team) wants to do, and who we get stuck with constantly.

I think having more Galaxy Ranger and Boothill lore was nice, and I liked seeing the potential of a prestigious university in the Dreamscape, but... the monkeys are people thing was a little much.

This story quest had me literally sitting back and sighing and rolling my eyes up to the ceiling in supplication more than any other, so far. Rappa, her rapping, her ninja thing, and the painfully obvious cultlike spread of Slumbernana Monkey were ridiculously overdone. Repetition can be successful, but it can also completely ruin the pacing or flow of a story, particularly if it's a video game and you have to sit through 10-15 minute cutscenes or consecutive dialogue cutscenes.

We get to be alone with Dan Heng for a little while, this time, at least! Dan Heng finally gets to info dump on us without March asking if she's missing something! He even tells us about new species and a new enemy and--

Anyway!

Mr. Reca is, like, fine. He has potential and he wasn't really present for much of the story, so I think he'll be back around later and I really hope they do him better the next time around. There's a lot of ways Mr. Reca could go, or they can destroy all of that. Also I saw the edits on TikTok but it did not prepare me for Mr. Reca just suddenly appearing on his knees unprompted???

Dreamflux Reef was... okay? It wasn't the worst part of this, just really boring, honestly. We barely got any information about anyone that wasn't Boothill, so it was lacking.

The antagonist was boring. I didn't care, honestly. Negative care! Soylent Green thoughts aside, there wasn't all that much interesting about the evil plan after it's revealed Doctor Primitive has an MO and isn't even the big bad of the current story, because Doctor Primitive isn't even doing anything.

The Slumbernana Monkeys. The song got stuck in my head, of course, and I could have done without having it playing in the background of a cutscene considering we're supposed to be paying attention to something while it's happening. Being turned into a monkey wasn't what I expected, but we are literally in a dream, and it's not that odd in the grand scheme of things. Seeing so many of them is... also fine. The designs for the monkeys aren't terrible, so I didn't mind it much. Hearing all the "bana bana" shit was awful, though. No need to for that. Please.

I also timed my second and final session playing the Paperfold story. I played about 2 hours to reach the end of the story missions, and I spent 1 hour 40 minutes of that sitting there listening to people talk.

Hate that. Hate that so much. I'm playing a game, not watching a movie. "But it's a story--" don't care. Spending 20 minutes of a 2 hour play session is an abysmal distribution of time. This isn't a visual novel! There should be some gameplay!

Paperfold is a nice environment, though, I enjoyed it. Hoyo has a tendency to have One Large School in their games, though....

Which brings me to the newest update, so there will be spoilers for v2.7.

Because we are hanging out with Sunday and Tingyun/Fugue in this section. And that's it. Literally. The "crisis" we deal with here, the climax of this all, is Sunday confronting himself. Tingyun/Fugue's confrontation is the damage done to her by the Destruction, which I think is fascinating, but wasn't elaborated on enough for me to be satisfied.

An interesting idea brought up is that a "try not to laugh" challenge which requires the ingesting of a substance can split a mind into fractured personalities. This idea is then instantly dismissed and made insignificant and will never be used again, just like Sunday's tuning vision or whatever.

The splitting of one's self could have been used in even better ways, I think, considering Tingyun/Fugue was split up into so many different versions of herself. They dropped the ball having Sunday dealing with only one of them, as they apparently didn't think about tuning a person until stumbling on the Express crew and Tingyun/Fugue.

Conflict in this very short update was underwhelming, and we literally just fight Sunday again for the final boss fight of this section. There was no change in the boss fight from the original, outside of the dialogue spoken at the start.

This was clearly supposed to be one of the more emotionally-charged story missions, what with Sunday's "saying goodbyes" or whatever, because he goes through all that trouble... fucking off-screen.

NOTHING HAPPENED!!!!!!

Out of all the story chunks we get in little bits and pieces this is the worst so far! Why? Sunday's all going off on a final circuit of the Dreamscape and we see basically none of it. They cut out so much story and information when previously they've been practically giddy to shove us into different character POVs to explain the empty lore bits to us instead of letting us experience it as the Player Character. I would have loved to see him going around and making his peace with leaving before he gets shoved on us no matter what we say about it at the end, at least, because then we could have more about him. Instead we get basically nothing and a whole lot of dancing around saying goodbye and sorry to his sister when everyone except him knows she knows who he is, because his disguise is literal trash considering someone almost sees through it as soon as we're introduced to his storyline.

And Tingyun/Fugue has so much NOTHING in her storyline that I completely abandoned paying attention and left it to autoplay all the dialogue and cutscenes while I did anything else. Sure, yeah, we see Yukong again, and we get to see a tiny child Tingyun, but that doesn't make up for the absolute nothing-burger we're given in the story. Oh, look, Ruan Mei! Aaaaand we get almost nothing, still. Cool. Fine. Sure.

The fucking room event was more interesting than the entirety of this Penacony finale, and that's pathetic.

I'm also going to say not having to spend six hours playing is fine! I didn't mind that! But it's also too short for what they wanted to do, considering they stuffed Sunday and Tingyun/Fugue together, because ????? They hardly barely matter to each other, and there's no real reason to have the two of them coincide at all, actually, beyond the fact that if it was just Sunday I don't doubt we'd end up with just an hour of content at most.

The missing voicelines (I play story missions with English voices in order to allow me to do literally anything else when I get bored of watching cutscenes) was jarring and annoying, but they made it worse by not even bothering to move the characters' mouths. It's just the details that make things worse. (Yes I know there's a reason, yes I know they're allowed to strike, good on them, but they could... I don't know... animate the fucking characters' mouths?)

Thoughts on the Future

The quality of the story and its characters has been decreasing more and more as time goes on. Not the character designs, though I'd like it if we could have less fucking 1-inch inseam shorts on characters. Considering the next designs released, though, I'm in despair. At this rate, I'll be dropping HSR entirely at some point next year, because I can only take so much.

Even with a new location, path, and character set to become available, I don't have high hopes for the story, character moments, or any new mechanics they might be implementing for the location.

I never really talk about the puzzles and extraneous modes available in HSR, but that's because you can get through the game perfectly fine without them, if you want to. I barely ever do things like Simulated Universe because I just don't want to play the game any longer than I absolutely have to, anymore, and that's part of the problem. At this point, people are more interested in updates to these extraneous modes and events instead of story missions and character moments within them. Obviously there's a problem when your players would rather do literally anything other than the story you've been crafting for *checks calendar* three months? Weeks? Days? Fuck if I know, it's just not nearly enough time.

I stopped playing Genshin Impact because there was too much to catch up with--so much they literally give you the option to skip two regions--and too much grinding needed to keep up. With HSR, I'm pretty much settled into being able to at least mostly keep up since I've been playing for a while, but I just can't bring myself to sit through the story missions long enough to care.

It's boring.

I would be unsurprised if HSR implemented a similar skipping option eventually, too, because if you're implementing a massive skip to your apparently story-heavy game, you've done something terribly wrong.

[non-euclidianavalanche]

One of my favorite things in video games is unclear lore, or just a lack thereof. In a world of Game Theory and hundreds of thousands of lore-centric games throughout history, having one that's just...

Oh! Hey look, it's them again!

Who is this? Neow of course! What do we know about them? absolutely nothing!

Okay, that's not entirely true. But it's so sparse it may as well be nothing. Described as a large whale-like creature with 6 eyes, Neow is some sort of cosmic entity from beyond this plane. She seems to have some sort of vendetta against the spire (You are Slaying the Spire after all...) And resurrects your character's dead body to do it all over again. Roguelikes my beloved, they couldn't make me hate you. There are four characters you can play as:

Ironclad: Look, he's your first d&d character. Human(?) fighter who made demonic pacts after his village was destroyed by a raging fire. (Which I'm pretty sure was also caused by demons but whatever, you do you king) From a martial arts standpoint, it's all forms of fighting. Obviously a sword fighter, but the card art shows all different types of weapons and ways they fight. They're skilled, and are now acting as a reincarnated warrior to forever fight the spire. (While reading through the Wiki I learned they are predominantly featured on a colorless card [can be in any deck] instead of a rare red card, which is pretty neat)

Silent: (my girl frfr) Your second d&d character, a poisoner rogue reminiscent of when you played Skyrim for the 8th time this year. A rogue, her description being "A deadly huntress from the Foglands. Eradicates her foes with daggers and poisons" She has similar head garb to a few enemies, and thematically fits super well. She seems less pushed out of the Foglands as they call it, and more like she was led here. As though her mind was fully clouded and she arrived. She seems to be a sort of bounty hunter, assassin typed beat. But just like... Why? Answers naught to be found.

Defect: Beep Boop, Robot that has fucking magic(?) "A combat automoton which became self aware. Ancient technology allows the manipulation of orbs."

Sorry not sorry but that's magic. (Dope magic too) It is considered self-aware, and based on some events dialogue you find it has one directive. Balance. Now, why in the hell did a robot seeking balance end up in a giant spire? No idea, not a damn thing is said about it. They're just there and awesome. (Defect is my favorite though, gameplay wise. I'm sorry, shocking you with 40+ damage by literally just pressing End Turn in a card game is so funny.)

Watcher: (my favorite by design and it's not even close.) Look at her, she's so pretty and pretentious and holier than thou. (One of the events details her walking into a room where a bloody fight is happening, waiting patiently until it's over, then just going up to the next room. She gives zero shits.) "A blind ascetic who has come to 'Evaluate' the spire. Master of the Divine Stances." She's a monk, and a cool one at that. Her play style is all about switching stances, and really brings out the longer turns and heavier impacts if you know what you're doing. So, you'd think with them releasing desperately from the other characters in the series they'd come with some lore, right?

Right?

Right?

A little bit. But not enough to give us anything we didn't already know.

So sure, yadda yadda, all these characters but what is the spire? The titled spire of which we are to slay?

A big fuck off tower in the middle of nowhere, that leads forever into the sky. And here's the best part, you never even fight the spire itself. Sure, you fight growths and things made by and from the tower. But the final boss isn't the building.

If, throughout your trials of the three floors and multiple bosses needed to get through. You sacrifice a relic from a chest, choosing to meditate instead of rest, and defeat a burning elite. You get three keys, which let you into the final level.

Chapter 4: The Ending

Instead of a large scroll map through the individual nodes, you get a map with one singular path.

A campfire to rest, a merchant to buy any last minute potions or cards, and then an elite fight before the final boss. Remember how I said earlier that you don't fight the spire? You don't, but you do fight growths and eventually its heart.

Fight the tentacle and shield combo that are in the elite fight, (who are both little bitches btw) and you'll come face to face with the Corrupted Heart

This is the final boss. You can only do a certain amount of damage to it per turn, and every card you play deals you 1 damage to you! (2 later in the fight) Fucking rude.

But let's say you do it. Let's say the blade strikes through, or the electricity ceases the heart. You win! Congrats, you get to see a little animatic. (Side note, love the art style of this game) Of the character leaving the spire... And just kinda looking around. Then you get one of my favorite end screens of any game.

So just like... Yeah, you did it! 🎉🎉🎉 Rogue like gameplay says you did all of the things, and you got to the end. But something about not knowing all of it gnaws at you when you look from the surface. This whole post is made with bare bones research (300 hours and a few fandom searches, which is where all of the images are from) and I still feel like I know less than when I started. Sequel coming out early next year, and I'm very excited! That's all.

Oh, totally unrelated! Play Monster Train. It's not this game, but it's very similar. Card games, train going down through hell to reignite it. Very fun time.