#give her a chance to do something good
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bw1 player character’s mom: ‘maybe i should go on a journey to find my child! oh, but i would feel really bad if they stopped by while i was gone’
#ARGGHKKK#that is the recurring irony huh#yeah don’t make the mistake both they and n made#trying to find someone and just missing them#truly. staying put is the best strategy!!!!#goldie plays pokémon black… 2!!!#and yeah after i beat n and my team was wounded i was like#hmmm where should i go… i know! let’s go to nuvema town and visit that poor woman#give her a chance to do something good#bc i was thinking about the bw1 player character…#sighs. it’s so sad
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I just realized some people are confused about events in the alluded to past in Mouthwashing, particularly about how long the crew has been working together.
The only person who is truly new is Daisuke and it’s why his dynamic with the crew and role in the story is very unique and somewhat distant. Curly didn’t just get Jimmy this job on the Tulpar, he got him the job with the Pony Express. He’s been his copilot for probably a couple of years but still not as long as they’ve been friends. None of them are new with the freight industry, Anya and Swansea especially have been doing this for years, together.
Jimmy is the newest on the regular crew, maybe just a few assignments, but it’s not his first time working with them. I think it’s just something important because this isn’t just one bad mistake that snowballed with giving Jimmy the job. None of them thought Jimmy would do anything, no matter how off-put by him they could’ve been, since he hadn’t done a thing since being there. Generally unpleasantness isn’t a crime and he’d be aware of that.
It was a festering thing and a sort of forced trust they had to give him that he knowingly took advantage of. He was the black sheep and still a wolf under the wool. He expected when he lashed out, that he had been there long enough for it to be looked over completely. Got too comfortable in the space he inserted into and did a lot of damage with his claws when he felt he was going to get shaken out.
#I think acting like if Curly just didn’t give Jim the job this wouldn’t have happened is underplaying that they’ve all been working for PE#for a bit and that Jimmy got comfortable enough to do something horrible like#a lot of factors made the trip being out the worse parts of them but Jimmy was slowly letting his worse parts show and I think people assume#that this was one a few mission he went on with Curly and that he advocated for him completely when it was more likely#he pulled some strings so Jimmy could work right under him and stay out of trouble with a decent job and it back fired cause Jimmy is just#not a good person like I see people acting like his breakdown and choice to crash the ship was because this was probably one of the last#chances to fix his life and he couldn’t admit he fucked up soemthing literally handed to him so badly and cruelly#I think people forget that predators like Jimmy rarely do anything the first day. or week or month or year#they ingrain themselves into the schedule and dynamic and build a sort of stability that make it harder to knock them down or push back#he has Curly’s trust as the co pilot and as a friend#Swansea doesn’t like him but doesn’t trust him and Anya is just wary initially#he doesnt even attack her at the start of the trip it’s implied it happens after the psyche evals and when she confides in Curly how#patronizing he is to her and her position. he’s retaliating against a perceived slight to his stability to him it was pure act of power and#anger because he’s at his core an avoidant bully who can’t take responsibility#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#jimmy mouthwashing#I didn’t want this to be a Jimmy post but it is#more so about how abusers like Jimmy work but I digress cause most of it’s in the comments
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scrolling through novena after novena choosing which saints i think would be most receptive to my frivolous little interpersonal problems
#like heartbreak problems are not something im bringing to joan of arc. i love her. but she would not understand.#life hack (my most psychotic person in the world position secured): do a novena to the confirmation saint of the person making you sad!#tell that saint come get ur boy#he’s acting up#if the person in question is a male and you don’t know his confirmation saint i will give you a hint#it is probably Saint Sebastian#there’s like an 80% chance#and Mary is always a good option because as a Mother she has to listen to all of our stupidest problems#also she asked Jesus to as His first ever miracle and the start of His ministry on Earth make a party better so she gives me the confidence#to ask God for things I know aren’t world changing important#to anyone but me.
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told my gynecologist how bad my job is and she told me to apply at that hospital and put her down as a reference. we do stan
#she said they might train me to be an or tech which sounds captivating but i'm too stupid i fear i would rather do something not with people#unrelated but why does nobody warn you about the speculum i'm sorry but it feels like theyre ripping your vagina in half#i did almost have a panic attack because i didnt realize there was going to be a physical exam i thought she was just going to talk to me 😭#and the speculum pain viscerally brought back the iud experience. i'm fine though i'm going to go get breakfast#and then i'm going to go to the beach and then i'm going to go home and APPLY FOR GOOD JOBS 😤 AGAIN#she said if you work there you get free medical care 👁️👁️#i did forget to tell her that i still wanted a hysterectomy because i was so caught off guard by having to take my pants off lmao#but i'm losing my medicaid so its not like that was going to happen soon anyway. i'll give the iud a chance to redeem itself#me
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you can always tell the people who give social media advice who are naturally or conventionally attractive even without even having to look at a photo of them cause they're always the ones that recommend showing your face in reels or videos to promote your art and it's like,,, talk about pretty/skinny privilege lol
#it's one of those days folks#brb going on an extreme diet (jk but not really)#okay but really. all jokes aside Even if I WAS thin or lost a bunch of weight...#I'm still just fundamentally unattractive enough that I think i would lose insta followers if I showed my face in reels or posts 🥲#idk I know it's better for the algorithm but eh. i don't want to subject my subscribers to having to look at me lol#and I would wear makeup but I'm so bad at putting it on that I look worse with it on 😭😂#If i was good at make up i legit wouldn't leave the house without it#that said. i do have decent skin health 🤔 I get like. less than 1 pimple a year IF that. So that's something to be grateful for i suppose#but if a genie offered me a chance to be pretty for ONE day but in exchange I had to give up ALL my talents. interests. personality. etc#and i could never get those aspects of myself back for the rest of my life...#I would 100% take up that opportunity LOL 👍#anyway feel free to ignore me I'm not looking for compliments (I don't think anyone on here even knows what i look like?)#(which is by design lol and trust me. be grateful you don't have to look at my face haha)#I'm just venting into the void bc a mutual on insta did a reel where she showed her face and I was like#*shocked pikachu face* oh she's pretty#oh. oh so THAT's why i never should show my face. I'm pretty toad-like in comparison 😂
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me: yeah i didn't project too badly onto taob haha *sees a quote from taob randomly on a tiktok webweave about girlhood*
#HELLO?????? yeah zuko they girlhooded you. yeah no they transed your gender#idk if this makes sense but ur coping mechanisms are just sooo she/her#like do you have any idea how baffling this was like no tags no search no nothing it was just there by sheer luck#i saw it was a webweave about girlhood and i was like ohoughhee this will be good#got a few slides in. hello i recognise thAT FUCKING QUOTE WHAT IS HAPPENING#like it's such a niche quote and out of context like it was it could have been from ANYTHING#AND it wasn't credited which i'll get to in a second#but honestly i felt like a mother identifying her child through something incredibly niche like a single freckle or some shit#bc i was like 'this is such a nondescript quote and isnt a big enough moment for me to remember vividly and yet somehow i Just Know'#and low and behold i double checked with a cheeky ctrl+f on taob AND I WAS FUCKING RIGHT#WHAT THE FUCK#im a tad fuming there was no credit like the person used like 12 images and only 3 of them are Non-Tumblr Writing Quotes#and NONE got credited#like i get it's hard enough to get art credited but i feel with artists there's still a general conensus that you're SUPPOSED to tag them#but with writing people honestly just treat it like it's free real estate and the thing is it kinda IS especially if it's fanfic#but also..... why would you not just say who wrote that? like you clearly like it enough to put in ur little slideshow#so why not give credit where credit is due. annoying. bc now im like if this happened by pure fucking chance#then how many times has this happened when ive literally been totally unaware of it?#how many times have MY WORDS just been flung about tiktok without any acknowledgement that i wrote them?#idkkkk just how writing especially amongst tiktokers is treated as a lesser or watered down artform#that doesn't require the decency given to 'actual' art. i might just be being cynical bc i dont like tiktok tho lol#like girl (taob) what the hell are you doing at the devil's sacrament#taob
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@stellsaria liked this post for a starter with Durge Hope! --- For Filarick!
After learning the truth about the tiefling Wyll had been hunting and how Karlach had in fact been innocent, Hope looked at her hands in horror, just as she had when she killed Alfira that night, wondering if it was all caused by the dark urges. However, it didn't seem to shake the immense guilt she now felt for her role in taking down Karlach. She had been trying to do better, to make up for what happened to the bard, but had only jumped ahead instead without thinking things through.
When Mizora had finished rubbing the crime in her and Wyll's face mockingly, presenting a gift, Hope had dashed off, wanting some distance from camp for a bit to process it all. But all she had down was start breaking down, crying. Hearing footsteps approach, she tried sniffled, trying to wipe them away, but it wouldn't stop. "I didn't mean to. I thought I was helping Wyll. Just strike me down now. I don't want to hurt anyone else. I'm sorry...I'm so sorry."
#stellsaria#𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 ⟫ The Dark Urge/Hope#VERSE ;; Resisting the Urge (Bg3)#// I saw that Filarick doesn't like it when you kill Karlach and I was like....oh this is perfect angst#// cause in Hope's playthrough she accidentally kills Karlach because she thinks she's doing good but it becomes a learning thing for her#// and something she regrets forever. it makes her learn to listen and wait and gives others a chance and get the full story before acting
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I actually like the last chapter. I think the ideas are very good. I have my qualms on how some things were managed, as I always do, but I think shonen authors get tangled in the expectations of a shonen to the point it jeopardises their writing, often even when they're not lacking in skills
#I think the nothingness‚ the absence‚ the moving on despite everything‚... is a good if heartbreaking idea#and we do see snippets of it throughout the entire manga‚ yet I think it is mostly lacking in execution#I like the quiet ways in which we see the characters mourn. How Megumi laughs at the letter‚#how Shoko muses about how Satoru should have let her take care of Geto's body‚ the faint smile when Megumi agrees‚#how Shoko quits smoking again‚ Yuuji giving this person hope and a second chance‚ making a reference to him not being executed‚#and giving Sukuna too a chance for him to take one day a different path#All those are very good ideas and all those are very moving quiet ways of grieving. But. It feels in general so lacking#There's so much of everything else in contrast��� even things that have way less importance narratively than this most of the time‚#that it feels lacking. Especially with how one has to dig to find these things. There's so much that could have been done with the same idea#And done so much better. But the idea is good. The absences are good. The quiet presences are good.The nothingness is good if bitter and sad#But it could have been written better#I also think this ending with Yuuji apparently knowing about Sukuna‚ his lies‚ his little hint of softness‚ the potential second path‚...#makes even more believable why he'd try at all to offer him a second chance. And I love that Yuuji knows him and I love that he still...#leaves the door open for that second chance to occur at some point. Trusting that Sukuna would walk that other path next time#And I love that without openly acknowledging Gojo he demonstrates that he hasn't forgotten him in his acting#How he gives that guy a second chance‚ how he jokes about him not getting executed‚ how he wants to make sure people‚ 'problem children'‚#don't get left behind. He doesn't mimick Gojo in his power but in this flippant but caring aspect and thus he's not forgotten#I do like this. It's heartbreaking. Gojo's desire to be forgotten is bittersweet as it's in a way a desire for... normalcy and humanity#To be surpassed. It goes well with how Gege says Gojo can do anything and thus why he does nothing‚ not even hobbies‚#to leave something for the future generations and not being another wall in their achievements#Gojo's desire to be forgotten is in line with the constancy of his writing when it comes to being drunk on his status#and yet resentful of his loneliness. It's a mix of being left behind and not being left behind#For being left behind and forgotten would mean he is more like the rest. Just another step forwards#And he'd have done what he wanted to achieve. Sorcerers can't stop a long while to grieve but Yuuji takes his words and actions#into consideration and steps forwards. Does the same. Fulfills Gojo's expectations. Walks towards the future. And that's the legacy Gojo#wanted and not going down in history as a legend or the strongest. He was just a teacher. Like Yaga was. He was not even the principal#Just a teacher. His role‚ the role he chose for himself‚ has been fulfilled. Now all this could have done way better#Something of Yuta and Megumi given their dynamics with Gojo would have been good. But I guess Gojo's 'at least one' works well#with Yuuji being the one doing the work. Yuuji was also ontologically alienated since birth and still he too remained cheerful and flippant#despite being so lonely so I guess the final parallel is intentional. But it could have been managed better still. The idea is good though
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Also in the replies of the Steph concept art on twitter announcing she was gonna be in a new project at DC (posted by Travis Mercer), there were at least 3 comments saying "will Tim be there?" I don't care how hard you ship timsteph I'm exploding you with my eyeballs if you do that on my girls post again
#ramblings of a lunatic#taking a step back to acknowledge that my stanning may be getting overzealous#but then again I'm not in ppls quotes or replies I'm vagueing on an entirely different website with no relevant tags. it could be worse#anyway I know tims had it rough these past couple of months ever since zdarsky shifted focus of the batman title to have less tim#but it still feels. idk. just a wee bit uninspired to act like steph can't go two steps without tim being behind her#im ngl i like timsteph when they're cute but timsteph twitter has been. pissing me off a tad lately#the refusal to acknowledge the sexism in dixons robin run and how it impacts stephs writing and their relationships writing#the refusal to acknowledge tims occasional condescension and hypocrisy when it comes to stephs vigilantism#seemingly only wanting her to be spoiler when he wants her around and telling her to give it up most of the time#also the constant disrespect of stephs batgirl era on there weirdly enough?#I've harped on about this on main and in drafts but despite it's flaws it's a good turn for stephs character#she's the focus she gets development (an upward trajectory! which had previously been unheard of for her! bc she did have flaws as spoiler-#-its just that both writers and characters alike seemed to arbitrarily decide she didn't have the capacity to grow past them! but she did!)#hell i saw a BIZARRE take today i just have to bitch about#which was them saying that Batgirl was a ''heteronormative mask'' steph put on#with spoiler being her more authentic self (and this being paralleled to gender expression with stephs isolation from the batfam as spoiler-#-showing how she ''wasnt like them'')#which. I'm not denying you the view that spoiler has a certain genderific swag to her but the needless dragging of her batgirl persona#steph got treated badly as spoiler bc she was A Girl. it's genuinely that simple dixon felt batman and robin would never stand for a girl-#-running around doing the things they did and would need to chivalrously stop her. he's gone on record saying this#she's constantly getting belittled by mostly men (cass also dismisses her but it feels distinctly less gendered)#and in the end it's barbara who learns to give steph a second chance despite her mistakes and they have a positive relationship#something ppl are quick to dismiss as being in and of itself sexist bc they're pairing the two girls off together#as if batgirl isn't a legacy and as if babs and steph don't have parallels in their resilience and refusal to accept when ppl tell them no#for better and for worse!!#like. idk how you took the strongest feminist element in that comic (bc there are elements of sexism here and there! 2009 n all)#and somehow turn it into ''heteronormativity'' YOU PPL ARE JUST SAYING WORDS AT THIS POINT!!!#anyway. someone take away my internet access
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What kind of damn drafts...?
#Eigong being confused about her drafts is my favorite bit to do because it's Not A Bit i'm just genuinely confused#because I don't remember anything i write here ever#i got notifications from the previous post i reblogged from the Ruyi blog and briefly went ''huh? what's that'' because i#forgot i made the reblog . if i ever write eigong being confused about/not remembering something she posted#there's a very high chance that it's just me actually being confused and playing into it for the bit#this is why eigong stabilizer arc is good because it gives me an excuse to be wildly incompetent and say it's in character even if it's not
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i cant believe ive played world of warcraft for 20 years
#i should write all my warcraft oc lore into fanfics or something#let tarwas and larevasha live forever on AO3.com#i have a druid (larevasha) nelf and demon hunter (tarwas) nelf and they were gfs before the sundering#then they got separated in the chaos of the legion attacks and sundering itself and both thought the other was dead#before all that tho they were both druid trainees and larevasha was good at it but tarwas was total ass at being a druid#(tarwas was never able to shapeshift)#after the sundering larevasha fully dedicated herself to druidism and got really powerful#but she spent so much time in shapeshifted forms that she has lost a few marbles over time#she gives a bit of a Radagast the Brown vibe#while tarwas said fuck this to druidism and instead chose vengeance#still thinking about wtf she wouldve been upto between the sundering and illidan starting the illidari#but im pretty sure this is where her rocky training montage goes and she gains proficiency with martial weapons and gets angrier and angrier#then she jumps at the chance to become illidari and becomes the slayer (dh leader) while larevasha becomes archdruid#then they both meet at the pep talk circle khadgar gives before the tomb of sargeras raid#but they don't recognize eachother at first because it's been 10 thousand years and they thought the other was dead and theyve changed#they only realize partway thru the raid (i imagine the raid more like a darkest dungeon run where they take short camp breaks to rest)#they both freak the fuck out#queue drama during the raid and final couple boss fights#after the raid and in between all their duties leading their factions they try to make time to catch up#it gets worse before it gets better though and there is not much free time in between saving azeroth and invading what's left of argus#there is a short respite after legion before bfa though and they do a lot of catching up there#then sylvanis fucking burns down teldrassil and tarwas and larevasha and the rest of the nelves loose their collective shit#*sylvanas#all through bfa they remain close and start getting a little flirty again (keep in mind it's been 10k years)#they both go into shadowlands fully intending on supporting tyrande 100% btw#in shadowlands however the slow burn starts cranking up the heat and by the end of shadowlands they're gfs again#then in the few years of no world ending threats between shadowlands and dragonflight they basically get married#(i do still need to look into nelf culture around that but the gist is theyre partners forever)#dragonflight would mostly consist of them holding hands while beating the shit out of the primalists#and i havent played the war within yet but i imagine itll be similar
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You may love your job and your coworkers but always remember your employer doesn’t love you.
#can’t say this anywhere else but fuck my boss#fuck all of them#fuck her#I didn’t want to tell you before Xmas#you think now is better ?#giving me less prep time before my replacement is a good thing#fuck this and fuck you#I knew chances were low and sure I’m moving on to bigger and better things#but I don’t have those things yet#and it’s not like she’s gonna give me extra pay#so fuck me I guess#love having to spend all this money on tires only to find out you’re getting canned#and I get it#it makes you sad#but you know who won’t have a job at the end? me#plus I knew something like this was coming but still#this Xmas excuse pisses me off#unless she had planned on giving me an extra week#which is what you’re supposed to do
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A little art/comic announcement: While Knightfall in Dream Land is still in progress and I’m still working on that I’ve also started plotting out the storylines for both the Daroach backstory comic and the Susie redemption arc comic that I want to do.
Before I started drawing Knightfall in Dream Land I did some very simple pencil sketches with dialogue written on them to get an idea for the direction the story of the comic would go in and get an estimate of how long the finished comic would likely be/how many pages it would likely have. That’s the stage I’m at right now with the Daroach comic and Susie comic. I’m planning to start posting actual pages for both of these comics in January 2025, because I want to get a little bit further into Knightfall in Dream Land first before I launch the new comics. The final length may vary a little bit depending on whether or not I decide to add more stuff or change some of the dialogue I’ve plotted out, but when Knightfall in Dream Land is finished I’m estimating that it’ll be around 34-36 pages, so I’d like to maybe get to page 20 or so before I start posting the new comics. Knowing how slowly I update I’ll probably hit page 20 around late December of this year so January is likely when I’ll be launching the new comics.
Like I’ve mentioned before I’m also still very busy with grad school stuff (I’m working very hard to finish up my PhD in the next year and hopefully get a job lined up if I can so I don’t have to live with my parents when I graduate) so comic updates might get even slower than they already are in the coming months. Thank you to everyone who’s been reading the comic even though I update it really slowly, it really means a lot to me to see people enjoying what I’ve created, and I hope you’ll enjoy the new comics too when I eventually start posting them.
#text post#Kirby#my art#I’m still plotting out the storylines for the Daroach comic and the Susie comic but I have some tentative title ideas for both of them#I’m thinking of calling the Daroach comic Second Chances and I’m thinking of calling the Susie comic Incorporated#I have a lot of affection for Squeak Squad as a game since it was the first Kirby game I ever played#and it was one of my favorite childhood DS games in general#so I thought it’d be fun to give a little backstory to Daroach and the other Squeaks#and I know that Susie is a kind of divisive character in the fandom but I really like her and find her interesting#and I always see people complaining that she’s not properly redeemed or is still evil#so I thought it’d be interesting to come up with a redemption plot for her#in my Kirby AU in general I’m portraying most of the characters as no longer being evil or villainous#like they may do shady or immoral things at times but overall most of them got some character development and became better people#the main theme of my AU the SweetVerse AU is kindness/friendship#so basically Kirby was kind to all of these people and it inspired them to be kinder and do better#idk I understand why other people may like portraying characters as still being evil or being jerks to each other#but I personally don’t feel like that’s very fun and I feel like it’s a bit overdone I want to do something a bit different with my AU#I think it’s more fun to consider how all the characters would interact as friends/what that dynamic would be like#instead of just writing about or drawing them always antagonizing each other#I also feel like portraying certain characters as still being jerks literally undoes character development they get during their games#idk I just personally don’t find it very fun or interesting to portray everyone as being assholes to each other#I think the friendship angle is more fun and interesting but that’s just me#doesn’t mean they won’t tease or antagonize each other from time to time but it’s all in good fun it’s not malicious
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Welp, when I said kill all rapists before I was kind of imagining her killing herself. Me thinking about killing her was just a fantasy to make me feel better. But now I know that one day, I'll kill her, and maybe someone who needs a little push in the right direction will hear about it and will kill their rapist, too. Repeat cycle.
Make rapists afraid again.
#honestly it was mostly just a fantasy this past year but it finally feels real.#one day im gonna kill my rapist and i dont give a shit what happens afterwards.#who knows when that day will come. but im going to kill her. and it'll be the greatest day of my life.#gonna make sure i have something to leave behind other than my tumblr though.#id call it a manifesto but that makes me sound like the fucking unabomber or smth#if i get extra lucky i might have the chance to kill more rapists than just her.#“b-but revenge is ultimately self harm!” yeah but at least thats productive#the 3 years i spent starving myself for her only got me raped and strangled#the revenge is a good thing. she deserves to die and her death might send a message to all the other rapists#or even better. their victims. maybe i can give someone the courage to kill their abuser.#trust me when its a queer teenager doing the killing people will never stfu about it#if she killed me people would care for maybe a week. but the world loves their rapists. when i kill her. everyone will care.#and the ones who know im right might get the courage to also do whats right.
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Me seeing clips of swi*ties at the Lisbon shows and seeing paramore clips/gifs/pics from those shows knowing we won't see them for another 13 years and they'll pull some nonsense again then that alienates their EU fans :
#And none of the ppl I've seen post abt those shows that I follow (who went) even mentioned pmore DO YOU KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE#Like who cares abt her I WOULD HAVE MAULED SOMEONE LIKE A BEAR TO SEE PMORE AND UR GETTING THE CHANCE#AND NOT EVEN GIVING THEM THE TIME OF DAY... SICK AND TWISTED#well I hope that sw1ft private jet money was worth it.... Bc I don't forgive or forget#I'm literally so annoyed abt this. They fucked up so bad like I can't believe they thought this was a good idea#My hateritis is flaring up...#wow anna said something#anna's shitposts#Paramore#Idc get tagged lol
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might write smthn for the first time in. what, a year?? two years?? simply bc the thought of clover + feisty five found family, specifically dad starlo, is destroying me so bad and theres like 4 fics tops with that concept and its making me want to chew drywall from a building made in the 70s. im having symptoms.
#and if i do write inevitably ceroba + clover found family dynamic and everything that entails will be written as well#i love you grieving milf. please get out of my head.#her seeing kanako in them and them seeing her as a mother figure almost allowing her to in some sense right what she has done#to her daughter... giving her a second chance to be a good mother and allow her child to live a happy life.. to finally and properly move o#to confront and lighten the trauma of her motherhood and allow it to once again become something beautiful and positive... sighhhh....#was telling a friend abt ceroba and how badly she kills me in every conceivable way and he just went “this is so horrible i hate mothers” a#yeah me too man me too#mommy issues gang#im so. normal..
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