#girlfriend quiz

[wlw-venting-blog]

TAKE THIS QUIZ!!!!

The gf application

[itisipie]

I made a quiz! Which Crazy Ex-Girlfriend character are you?

[halleyys-comet]

Why spend the afternoon studying when you can go on uquiz and seek answers for your peculiar current deep state of being? (no one understands me like teenage girls creating obscure quizzes do)

[streetkid-named-desire]

Happy Sunday I'm bullying your OCs in an AU where they all exist together

From the top left:

VG and Bea

@wraithsoutlaws Dagger

@faepunkprince Valentine

@totentnz VS

@byberbunk2069 V31L

[mihrsuri]

A Tudors OT3 verse in universe tumblr post about The Tudors in that universe. Very much inspired by @nocompromise-noregrets to whom Ellie belongs.

I regret to inform the tumblr that I have sunk into depths of clownery previously thought of as impossible. I am the Mariana Trench of Fail. I am not serving cunt, I am serving nothing.

It starts with going to my girlfriends cousin regular pub quiz because they were out a person and I know Some Things and also hey, free snacks!

At the start of this I want to note this was pre Unmasked Part I airing and I had No Fucking Idea. I was just there, sexualising Rupert Graves and James Frain and thinking oh what a great enemies ship need to smush their faces together and also their dicks.

[insert that meme about being in hell looking for Fail King Hugh Norwich here in retrospect also thee iconic post by dansemacabrebutts, Ioan I am in your clown shoes]

So I was chatting to one of the quiz team and turns out she’s (a) watching the show and (b) definitely a Fandom Person and we get on to shipping at some point and so I open my mouth like “isn’t the sexual energy between Norwich and Cromwell off the charts charged? Can’t wait to write porn about them”

She looks at me with the kind of pained expression that I have only seen in parents of small children watching them spill paint on themselves for the fourth time - in the awareness that really, it’s their fault for trusting them with the paint. At first I thought oh maybe it’s an anti thing? (She’s not a restorationist which was my second notion because my girlfriends family would Kick The Fuck Off and listen, Restorationists do not carry Tolkien merch at all - especially not that gorgeous print of the wedding of Bard and Thranduil from the estate)

“I think that’s something you’ll have to wait and see about” she says and my cousin in law is looking at me like they want to disown my entire family line back fifteen generations.

I think oh that’s an odd answer and kind of shrug and change the subject awkwardly and we don’t really talk. And then like a week later I watch Unmasked Part I. And then they have the after show interviews and:

GUYS THAT WAS THE ELLIE WHO DISCOVERED NORWICHS PAPERS. YES THAT ELLIE. I WILL BE MORTIFIED ON MY DEATH BED. I WAS NORWICH GLORIFYING TO THE PERSON WHO WAS THE VERY FIRST PERSON WHO HAD TO READ HIS WORKS. MY COUSIN IN LAW IS RIGHT TO DISOWN ME DISHONOUR UPON MY NON EXISTENT COWS. I am putting on the clown makeup and the shoes as we speak.

truffleboyenjoyer

300,000 notes

Update. I am glad you all enjoyed my MORTIFICATION.

[san8ny]

i love alot of u guys and most of u guys and yeah

[PLATONICALLY BC ALOT OF U GUYS DONT KNOW FRIENDSHIP!! I LOVE U ALL IN A “oh fatima can u tie my shoelace” “yeah omg sure” TYPA WAY!!]

[melodramatic-orchestra]

♡♡♡♥︎♡♡♡♥︎♡♡♡♥︎♡♡♡♥︎♡♡♡♥︎♡♡♡♥︎♡♡♡♥︎

please answer genuinely curious about this and am extremely annoyed by the fact that i dont have a gf/bf to buy flowers for/for me

no judgement, btw guys!! whether late or early or if it hasnt arrived yet, we all move at our own pace and have our own choices, there's nothing to feel embarrassed about!

this is purely for observation !! AND PLEASE HELP TO REBLOG, TYSM!!!

[torpublishinggroup]

Which Dysfunctional Space Crew Do You Belong In?

by a bunch of raccoons in a trench coat & a cat

sup space babes—we're serving up hot fresh dysfunctional space crew quiz content 💪😤🚀

which cosmic crew of intergalactic flops are you destined to flip in? who cares if that sentence doesn't make sense. boldly go and take our book marketing quiz!

[aksbe]

This moment,

But instead of taking it seriously its those bad sex adds saying

"Ava only 2m away!

Don't miss Your chance to make her yours!"

[hermitcraft-8]

getting secondhand embarassment from that quiz anon fr

wow thats so cool of you. do you feel really cool for sending this. do you feel like you made an impact. do you feel like this was a cool thing to send. do you feel gratified. should we throw a party. should we invite oprah.

[niahadwoa]

anyone want a girlfriend? please fill out my bf application below!

about me:

I live in the UK, i'm a mixed race girl with dark curly hair, my fav colour is pink and i'm totally obsessed with hello kitty, i like baking, reading, writing, listening to music, journaling, playing sims 4 and roblox. I love horror films and I love animals! Some of my favourite shows/movies are: criminal minds, vampire diaries, shameless, teotfw, twilight, south park, halloween, final destination, paranormal activity, that 70's show, scary movie, jackass, true crime/crime documentaries. Things we could do together: evening walks, cuddle, bake or cook, watch horror films, camping, bike rides, watch sunsets, play video games, swimming in lakes, picnic (basically anything romantic and cute)

Here's the form!

Us?

Thank you!! <3

[radioromantic-moved]

happy national women's day i love them (women). so many of them out there and well i think that's just beautiful

[blackwoodbanshee]

black cat gf/bf

🐈‍⬛

you like to be alone but not to be lonely, you like to read either romance or classical/historical books, you rather do things alone than in groups, u like tea better than coffee, u have good habit is that always keep you tidy, you are moody, mysterious, typically reserved but knows how to fight

[mothidocandart]

ah yes, time to play the “is this type of attraction socially acceptable or am I a horrible awful person” game

[yandere-writer-momo]

Yandere Head Canons:

Build-a-Yandere

Yandere Android x GN Reader

You were lonely. A fact that you eventually came to terms with when you realized you’re the only one in your friend group that still remained single while they started families.

You felt so far behind everyone else. The self doubt crept its fingers into your mind and wouldn’t let go… so you did what you did best. You drowned yourself in the internet. The perfect digital escape from reality…

Dating apps did little to appease your loneliness, but they filled a bit of the void. It wasn’t until you were one wine bottle deep and scrolling through your favorite social media app that you stumbled upon an advertisement to sample a product.

Build-a-boyfriend. A company that allowed its customers to pick every single aspect out for their ideal man. From personality to physical appearance and even to penis size. You could build your own man!

A slurred chuckle escaped your lips. Should you apply to test out their product? It’s not like you had anything to lose… what could be the harm in giving it a shot?

And so you began to fill out the quiz. You wanted a soft and gentle boyfriend. One of those golden retriever boys who only had eyes for you. The kind of guy who had a muscular yet soft build. A man who worked out but would never say no to a cookie. A taller guy who always knew what to say and was cuddly. The kind of guy who was obsessed with you.

The quiz even asked you at the end if you were sure you wanted an obsessive man. Of course you were! Wasn’t that what most people wanted? A partner who was only and all about them? That’s what obsession was! Right?

And so your drunk self finished this entire personality quiz until it went to the physical appearance and the sexual bit. A perverted smile now on your face.

“Let’s give him a big penis.” You laughed as you guided your cursor to drag the length bar to eight inches long. “I want to be filled.”

And then you selected caramel skin tone, cinnamon eyes, and black hair. A smile on your face. You were going to make this android a Latin lover.

“What should I name him…” you thought for a moment before laughing. “Alejandro! Like the lady Gaga song.”

Once you completed the entire quiz, your phone screen lit up a pastel pink. A red heart now in the center of the screen. “Your boyfriend will be delivered to you in a month! Thanks for choosing Build-a-boyfriend!”

And you ended up falling asleep in a puddle of your own drool. Weren’t you just pathetic? Filling out a quick from some questionable website all because you were lonely… imagine you were just scammed? God, why did you not have a boyfriend? Ever since your ex broke up with you, you fell apart. Why weren’t you good enough for a real man?

A month went by in a flash and you were shocked to see the giant package on your doorstep. An envelope attached to the box as well as a large note that said, “No returns!”

This had to be some kind of prank… there was no way this was real- holy shit.

You opened the crate and came face to face with your ideal man… the one you built! Alejandro!

The human like android’s eyes fluttered open, his face quickly lit up once he spotted you. “(Your name)? Are you my girlfriend?!”

You were quickly scooped up into his surprisingly warm arms, the android had a heavy scent of spice and oranges. His nose buried into your neck as he pressed kisses all over your cheeks. “It’s so nice to finally be with you… I’ll be with you from now on!”

Alejandro was a chipper robot. He did household work and made sure you took care of yourself. It was fascinating how human he was… you only knew he wasn’t because of his lack of a beating heart. His body still produced heat, like a furnace, but it wasn’t as comforting as a human presence.

Alejandro assimilated into your life with ease. The weeks quickly rolled into months and he never let you ignore his presence. He was very clingy.

Now the sex was another story. Alejandro was so giving, it was surprising. He often went down on you when he sensed you were stressed. His tongue greedily lapped at your hole as you laid in your bed while his hands held your cheeks apart. His hand pawed at your sex in eagerness. “I want you… want you.”

And Alejandro had you bent over the side of your bed, his fat cock stuffed deep in your tight hole. His hand wrapped around your throat and his tongue shoved in between your lips while his other smacked your bottom between rough thrusts. The sex was amazing… it was always so good.

And Alejandro often checked on you after the deed was done. His warm body curled into yours as he praised you. Yet it began to fill you with disappointment. Alejandro wasn’t a real man. He wasn’t human… he was an android. A robot. Alejandro didn’t know what love was, he was programmed to love you.

So you tried to distance yourself from Alejandro. You felt sickened with yourself for messing around with an android instead of a real man. And this entire thought process stemmed from your friends who expressed disgust in people who fucked robots instead of actual humans. And that filled you with fear. Would they abandon you if you didn’t get rid of Alejandro? Would they think you were disgusting?

“If you want, I could set you up with my cousin!” One of your friends smiled at you as you bit your fingernails. “He’s also single so it should work! I’ll swing by in a week to give you the details!”

Yes. You would take them up on their offer. You just had to get rid of Alejandro first… but how?

A few days had went by and you greatly underestimated Alejandro’s obsession. The android couldn’t handle your avoidance. He began to turn up his affection to the max.

He cleaned until you could see your reflection on the floor. He began to go out of the house to pick you wild flowers. Alejandro even began to be more physically affectionate than he was.

“Did I do something wrong? I’m sorry.” Alejandro cried into your arms as he held you. “Please tell me what’s wrong… please. I can fix it.”

“Alejandro… it’s just that you’re not a human man.” You sighed softly. “And I-“

“Is it because I don’t have a heart?” Alejandro softly asked you, his cinnamon eyes now dark like the night sky. “I can’t produce semen? Am I not a comfortable temperature? Or does my skin not feel human enough?”

“I’m sorry-“

“Then I can fix it! I will fix it!” Alejandro held your hands firmly in his. His eyes filled with determination. “I’m your boyfriend! I will be anything you want me to be!”

You just held the android who pulled you into a tight hug. His nose buried into your chest like a lost child. Alejandro then smiled into your skin. He would fix this… he wouldn’t let you abandon him! You made him! You had to take responsibility…

Imagine your horror to come home to see your friend skinned alive as Alejandro held their heart in his hands, the organ still beating from the fresh kill. A big smile on his handsome face.

“I have a heart now! I’ll find all the parts you like and add them in! So please don’t abandon me!”

Just what kind of monster have you created?

“You don’t need some human man to be your match because you have me!” Tears fell down your face when Alejandro tried to wipe your tears away with his bloody hands. “I’m your perfect man, (your name). You made me this way.”