#girl talk friends

[agirlwithglam]

GIRL TALK #1:

friends & feeling left out

disclaimer! this Q&A of being left out applies to both friends and co-workers, but mainly applies to with friends. another thing is that this is for people who feel as if they can't really go anywhere right now. for the people who aren't completely unhappy with their friend group, but also want something to change. reminder that if you feel that miserable on a daily basis, the best thing to do is just leave. cut them off and work on yourself. the points i will be mentioning are just "add ons" to the obvious/ main one: self love. if you don't love yourself, don't expect others to either.

ps. summary of the main points at the end!

Question: hi! so how was today?

Vanilla: it was actually pretty good.

Q: glad to hear that! did you feel left out?

V: yes. but i had a much different approach to it this time i realise.

Q: how so? what did you change?

V: okay so usually, when i feel left out i dwell on it too much and it affects the way i think of the people/ certain scenarios sometimes. so the thing is, when i felt left out today, i had to realise that they weren't purposely trying to hurt me. these people were my friends, they cared about me. all they wanted was to just have a good time. it wasnt that deep or personal. it never is!

Q: i love this view on it! was there anything specific that you did/ didn't do?

V: Ooh okay so one thing I didn’t do was dwell on it. And the second thing that I understood was that these people weren’t my ‘forever’. They were not going to be my friends forever! Change is the only constant. Once I understood that, I was able to let loose a lot more and stop being so attached and clingy. And that’s another thing I realised! : stop attaching/ basing your identity on them. YOU are the one who decided who you are and what type of person you are. Not them, YOU. 

Q: wow. Some truly inspiring words there! Can you please expand on the 1st point you made? The one about not dwelling on it. How would you go about doing this?

V: don’t overthink it. okay, I know how hard that can be to just “not overthink it”, I am a huuugee overthinker myself. But I guess that after a while, I just god fed up and used to it. Okay, I know how sad that sounds, but what I mean is, after a while, you just get fed up of obsessing over it and caring so much about it that eventually, you’re like “okay.. whatever.” It may still hurt, but it hurts a lot less. Anyways back to the non-dwelling thing: overthinking and dwelling (on the negative stuff) are the killers of joy. That’s it. Let me remind you that YOU are the one that attaches and gives meaning to things!! If something happens that you find yourself dwelling on or overthinking about, then just stop yourself and realise that although you cannot control how others think, act and are, you most definitely can control your reaction to it, and how you think about it.

Q: very nice! I love the way you’ve written this here. So how exactly would you go about “ignoring” or not dwelling on it?

V: by distracting myself. out of sight, out of mind. What I normally do if im in school is just focus on your own work. You go to school to be educated. Having friends is just a bonus. im so lucky that I even get the PRIVILEGE of getting to go to school, so quit whining and make the most of it! Normally, I would just put my head down and get as much work as I can done, while pretending im Rory Gilmore obvi. And once im done, I’ll just go onto Pinterest or Tumblr hehehe

Q: well okay! Thank you so much for being here with us, you really do have some very helpful knowledge and tips!

V: not knowledge, just experience. Im grateful to have helped.

THE END.

summary/ main points:

not everyone wants to purposefully hurt you. not everyone is out to get you.

don't dwell/ overthink it.

realise that nothing is forever or permanent. they too, will leave.

do not base/ attach your whole identity to these people.

Xoxo, Vanilla

[inkskinned]

we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.

"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."

i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.

you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"

i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.

what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.

i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.

"don't make a big deal about this," you said.

this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.

"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.

you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."

the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.

afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."

[bixels]

Reminiscing about Little Witch Academia.

[manichewitz]

i think its funny how everyone in the fandom calls magneto all his different names, like he’s magneto and he’s also magnus and he’s also erik, but i rarely hear anyone actually call professor x professor x, like no, that’s way too formal. that man is Charles

[artist-rat]

Guys do not ask how this group is still together.. I'm too afraid to ask (the answer is magic of friendship and ✨Delusion✨)

[fappellmoan]

[twinstxrs]

so much happened in this whole episode but i’m still on fig infiltrating ruben’s dream, making it look like the place where his friend was murdered, and then disguising herself as kipperlilly & repeatedly saying different variants of “somebody needs to take the fall for this, and it’s not going to be me. it’s going to be you.” while adaine as the elven oracle shows up next to her. can you imagine waking up from that, the idea of a horrible truth being pinned on you by your friend to save her own skin while the personification of fate and destiny stands there, almost as a promise that this is GOING to happen to you. we don’t even know if this kid is guilty. my god.

[girlatrocity]

yr so right fr the tgchk/3rdwheel tsuyu thing...,.... 3rdwheel i think underrated dynamic HEARMEOUT. hear me out.

1ly i love me some drama espcially in my freakships.

2ly it can be very funny. recently read a fic where one girl is like "shes talkingshitaboutme. shes sooooooo talkingshitaboutme" and her friend is like "OoooKay" (psychologically revealing)

like yeah you are acting like a weird obsessive freak. ackshually. and its funny and i wuv it. yr friends dont want you to kiss but iiiiiiiii do

freakship exactlyyy i love togachako being completely abnormal abt each other and Tsuyu being caught in the crossfire

AND IK PPL HATE LOVE TRIANGLES but wouldn't it be so funny if Tsuyu did have a little girlcrush on Ochako at first but eventually she mostly got over it + assumed she's straight, only to find herself getting dragged along for thinly veiled dates between her best friend and the girl that tried to kill them 1000 times isn't that so silly

[stuckinapril]

I genuinely love not having a crush like I’m not over here feeling physically sick over some mid guy being dry to me I’m literally chilling

[legally-allowed-to-slime]

guess who just spent 15 minutes of their lifetime transcribing a 4 minute clip of pearl rambling about life series on stream (29/10/2024)

anyway i can’t upload the video (too long) here’s the transcript anyway (also long)

Pearl: Um, alrighty. By the way, I wanna— I’m, I’m curious, I wanna know, okay, it— when it came to… Secret Life, why did people think I— I betrayed Gem completely? Wouldn’t me teaming with Gem have betrayed Scar? I wanna know where all this, like, super [word that i can’t place for the life of me. solar???] “Pearl betrayed Gem” came from. (laughs) 

I understand, I killed her at the end. And we teamed up for a moment. But Scar was on our side and not trying to kill my allies. That was my team from the beginning. Gem, was always trying to kill ‘em. So how… how is that not a betrayal in any… like it kinda has to be quote unquote betrayal, but technically Scar was allied with me more? (laughs)

“Scar was distinctly not on anyone’s side” Did anyone watch my finale? ‘Cause, he was teamed up with us. Gem was trying to kill us in that last episode. So, logically, I would fight with the person who’s not trying to kill my team. [Freudian slip]

So I just wanna know, how did I do the betraying in that instance? (laughs) “From her POV it was a betrayal” Ahh, it’s a belief system, huh? (laughs) But it’s funny. I like it. I was just curious what, uh, put the nail in the coffin for that belief. ‘Cause I’ve seen it come up a little bit lately, and apparently I’m the one that betrayed. 

(laughs) I dunno about that one. Curious. Curious, curious, curious. (laughs) Technically, whichever way I’ve gone, I would’ve went— it would’ve been betraying somebody, right? If I’d turned around and killed Scar, I would’ve betrayed him, because he was allied with us at the end. And then killing Gem obviously, same. But, when it came to that, I actually let Scar— I think I hit her once. Otherwise it was Scar. I did one whack, and then I stood back and let him kind of rock and roll. And uh, make it— make it between those two. So it was an interesting finale, that one.

But, something that people have mentioned actually, is that, uhh, another thing was, with, uh, Cleo and Scott in Real Life.

All this talk of Pearlo betraying people, are we not gonna realise that people have betrayed me in the life series? With a split decision? I’m just sayin’. They ain’t innocent. (laughs) Just sayin’, I think— I think 5am Pearl had every right to do what I did. Throw in um, what is it, the fuel on the fire for this one?

Character arcs. It’s cool to see how people analyse them, so I’ve been seeing a little bit of that. Especially with the new, uh, “I don’t love you” line that I got last session. Love you Gem. Always will. Even when you say no. (laughs) Even if you don’t, I’ll still be there. It’s fine. (laughs)

“Do it for the plot, Pearl” Basically.

(clip ends)

[solarockk]

Gege make these two interact i dare you

+bonus

[mymiserablediaries]

There is an ache in my heart for the imagined beauty of a life I haven't had, from which I had been locked out, and it never goes away.

[buggiebite]

Questions from a Curious Child

and there was a tickle fight…the end.

this reblog has lived in the back of my mind for a bit and it inspired me to make this, so thank you @thesweetnessofspring

[geekgirles]

Blitzo and Moxxie reaffirming their friendship:

Blitzo and Millie reaffirming their friendship:

[fatuismooches]

I need to know fellow Dottore lovers, how much of you also love this man 🥺 BECAUSE I DO!!!