#girl talk friends
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GIRL TALK #1:
friends & feeling left out
disclaimer! this Q&A of being left out applies to both friends and co-workers, but mainly applies to with friends. another thing is that this is for people who feel as if they can't really go anywhere right now. for the people who aren't completely unhappy with their friend group, but also want something to change. reminder that if you feel that miserable on a daily basis, the best thing to do is just leave. cut them off and work on yourself. the points i will be mentioning are just "add ons" to the obvious/ main one: self love. if you don't love yourself, don't expect others to either.
ps. summary of the main points at the end!
Question: hi! so how was today?
Vanilla: it was actually pretty good.
Q: glad to hear that! did you feel left out?
V: yes. but i had a much different approach to it this time i realise.
Q: how so? what did you change?
V: okay so usually, when i feel left out i dwell on it too much and it affects the way i think of the people/ certain scenarios sometimes. so the thing is, when i felt left out today, i had to realise that they weren't purposely trying to hurt me. these people were my friends, they cared about me. all they wanted was to just have a good time. it wasnt that deep or personal. it never is!
Q: i love this view on it! was there anything specific that you did/ didn't do?
V: Ooh okay so one thing I didn’t do was dwell on it. And the second thing that I understood was that these people weren’t my ‘forever’. They were not going to be my friends forever! Change is the only constant. Once I understood that, I was able to let loose a lot more and stop being so attached and clingy. And that’s another thing I realised! : stop attaching/ basing your identity on them. YOU are the one who decided who you are and what type of person you are. Not them, YOU.
Q: wow. Some truly inspiring words there! Can you please expand on the 1st point you made? The one about not dwelling on it. How would you go about doing this?
V: don’t overthink it. okay, I know how hard that can be to just “not overthink it”, I am a huuugee overthinker myself. But I guess that after a while, I just god fed up and used to it. Okay, I know how sad that sounds, but what I mean is, after a while, you just get fed up of obsessing over it and caring so much about it that eventually, you’re like “okay.. whatever.” It may still hurt, but it hurts a lot less. Anyways back to the non-dwelling thing: overthinking and dwelling (on the negative stuff) are the killers of joy. That’s it. Let me remind you that YOU are the one that attaches and gives meaning to things!! If something happens that you find yourself dwelling on or overthinking about, then just stop yourself and realise that although you cannot control how others think, act and are, you most definitely can control your reaction to it, and how you think about it.
Q: very nice! I love the way you’ve written this here. So how exactly would you go about “ignoring” or not dwelling on it?
V: by distracting myself. out of sight, out of mind. What I normally do if im in school is just focus on your own work. You go to school to be educated. Having friends is just a bonus. im so lucky that I even get the PRIVILEGE of getting to go to school, so quit whining and make the most of it! Normally, I would just put my head down and get as much work as I can done, while pretending im Rory Gilmore obvi. And once im done, I’ll just go onto Pinterest or Tumblr hehehe
Q: well okay! Thank you so much for being here with us, you really do have some very helpful knowledge and tips!
V: not knowledge, just experience. Im grateful to have helped.
THE END.
summary/ main points:
not everyone wants to purposefully hurt you. not everyone is out to get you.
don't dwell/ overthink it.
realise that nothing is forever or permanent. they too, will leave.
do not base/ attach your whole identity to these people.
Xoxo, Vanilla
#agirlwithglam🎀✨#vanilla self improvement⭐️#girl talk#self improvement#self development#becoming that girl#it girl energy#girlboss#self love#how to gain power#it girl#girl talk friends#friends
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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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Reminiscing about Little Witch Academia.
#personal#delete later#maybe i'll talk about it tomorrow but it's a really cool anime and i'm forever shocked that it was made by trigger#a full cast of teenage girls and absolutely zero fanservice or sexualizing! what a concept!#also i was looking at designs for the bg student characters because they designed a whole student body to fill the school and gave them#names and nationalities and personalities and. there's a middle eastern student who wears a hijab/niqab! how cool is that!!#i don't think i've ever seen rep like that in a mainstream anime and speaks to how they genuinely gave a shit about diversity#you read about all these bg character's details and realize how much they cared about this anime's world#there are these twin from india who are both very protective of their smaller roommate and will get into fights about taking care of her#none of them have lines in the anime#there is a fat side character who is sweet and unapologetically just likes to eat and everyone is friends with her#there is a canonically butch character and an entire episode about her crossdressing as a man
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i think its funny how everyone in the fandom calls magneto all his different names, like he’s magneto and he’s also magnus and he’s also erik, but i rarely hear anyone actually call professor x professor x, like no, that’s way too formal. that man is Charles
#maybe this is just me idk#sound off in the notes my friends#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#cherik#magneto#professor x#xmen#x-men#x men#<- hate that we can’t have one consistent tag. help girl#marvel#alex talks
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Guys do not ask how this group is still together.. I'm too afraid to ask (the answer is magic of friendship and ✨Delusion✨)
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#karlach#wyll#astarion#durge#oc: tavis/noon#onwards to act 3 :)#got the bhaalspawn scene and karlach being like 'you're my friend!!😭choose wisely:(!!' I'm like STOPP MY GIRL TRYINA BE EVIL#wyll's greeting also changing to 'always good to talk to you my friend:)' like cmon#will the power of friendship get the best of her?? more at 6#honestly karlach and wyll are having a surprisingly good time if you ignore the earth shattering fundamental moral clashes<3#karlach has like the 2nd most inspiration right after durge and wyll still has over 80 approval😭#they're just vibing#happy pride month
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#already seeing annoying things about my best friend pj bottoms. hear me out. dontttttttt care. where’s fun people#bottoms movie#bottoms 2023#yellowjackets#jennifer’s body#derry girls#sorry i’m like looking to piss people off be sude#*because i am soooooo tired of listening to people talk about any media#that does not center men. and especially in the ones that do#shut up <3 like please for the love of god#sorry if someone’s done this already
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so much happened in this whole episode but i’m still on fig infiltrating ruben’s dream, making it look like the place where his friend was murdered, and then disguising herself as kipperlilly & repeatedly saying different variants of “somebody needs to take the fall for this, and it’s not going to be me. it’s going to be you.” while adaine as the elven oracle shows up next to her. can you imagine waking up from that, the idea of a horrible truth being pinned on you by your friend to save her own skin while the personification of fate and destiny stands there, almost as a promise that this is GOING to happen to you. we don’t even know if this kid is guilty. my god.
#fantasy high#dimension 20#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#fantasy high junior year#fig faeth#ruben hopclap#lucy frostblade#the rat grinders#adaine abernant#kipperlilly copperkettle#watching fig terrorize him like girl!!! we don’t even know if he’s guilty!!!!#this might just be for me but i do not think 5 teenagers willingly brutally killed their friend idk#like there just has to be some other element to it and i am very scared to find out what that was#what if they were put in a position where they felt there was/there was no other choice… like oh my god#my comedy brain is having fun but my ‘this is a teenager’ brain is in such deep distress all the time this season#the rat grinders i trust brennan to not make u cartoonishly evil so i am holding u as gently as i can in my confused shaky hands#also with the devil’s nectar i’ve been wondering why they all seem so well-adjusted & now i’m curious if they’ve been intentionally-#changing their memories in a way so that either the trauma is lesser or they think they aren’t guilty. idk#but it seems like from how gertie was talking she was making it more recently so the well adjustedness from early jy doesn’t quite add up#they could have another source maybe??? idk i’m just low stakes 4 a.m. spitballing here#there’s also the strong possibility that they’re aware of what happened but they weren’t the ones who killed lucy. idk who knows#the way you could probably devil’s nectar yourself into believing it wasn’t your fault someone died… CRAZY IMPLICATIONS!!! CRAZY IDEA!!!#anyways the bad kids & the rat grinders don’t ever have to like each other but i do wonder if at least some of those kids deserve a chance
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yr so right fr the tgchk/3rdwheel tsuyu thing...,.... 3rdwheel i think underrated dynamic HEARMEOUT. hear me out.
1ly i love me some drama espcially in my freakships.
2ly it can be very funny. recently read a fic where one girl is like "shes talkingshitaboutme. shes sooooooo talkingshitaboutme" and her friend is like "OoooKay" (psychologically revealing)
like yeah you are acting like a weird obsessive freak. ackshually. and its funny and i wuv it. yr friends dont want you to kiss but iiiiiiiii do
freakship exactlyyy i love togachako being completely abnormal abt each other and Tsuyu being caught in the crossfire
AND IK PPL HATE LOVE TRIANGLES but wouldn't it be so funny if Tsuyu did have a little girlcrush on Ochako at first but eventually she mostly got over it + assumed she's straight, only to find herself getting dragged along for thinly veiled dates between her best friend and the girl that tried to kill them 1000 times isn't that so silly
#3rd wheel tsuyu ily I'm sorry#she's desperately trying to keep an open mind but she's on her last straw#tsuyu tries to sabotage their relationship at least a couple of times before she learns to stop being a hater#but by then there's already a feud between her and toga#toga pulls her aside one day and she's like yk what ASUI 😠 you're not my friend anymore#and tsuyu's like 🐸 okay?#togachako#bnha#toga himiko#tsuyu asui#uraraka ochako#i love these girls i need to read 20000 words abt them#ask#val talks#my artwork#if u can call it that
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I genuinely love not having a crush like I’m not over here feeling physically sick over some mid guy being dry to me I’m literally chilling
#Spring semester of last year was so bad bc I was unironically into 3 guys at once and they were all#Being dry and cryptic to me#And then before that in 2022 I had my horrid situationship#I had a mini obsession arc in dec 2023 over someone but now there hasn’t been anyone since#And my palette is so cleansed#When a girl is like I miss having a crush I’m like you’re literally a masochist#There was very briefly a girl I thought I had a crush on when I realized I’m bicurious but#I haven’t put effort into talking to her bc the idea of pursuing anyone makes me wanna claw my eyes out#I’m pretty sure I ghosted her by like just not responding to her last messsge actually#Not on purpose but more so bc I realized I was feeling the same anxiety I felt whenever I had a crush so I was like#Yeah I’m dropping this for now#I’m also always the most present for my friends when I don’t have a crush so idk#Like I don’t wanna be consumed by anyone I just wanna chill#The solution to not having normal attraction to people is just to not be attracted to anyone at all#I fr cracked it#I always just crave the butterflies out of it and never an actual relationship anyway#But they’re so not worth it#Which is why I always get bored of guys who’re forthright like oh ok you actually WANT something…. U don’t wanna just have fun#Not for me#I think the guys I’m into and I typically diverge in the sense that neither of us wants a relationship but they just wanna fuck me#And I more so just want the butterflies experience / to playact couple for like a couple months but nothing too serious#Which is why it never works#Like it’s not that it doesn’t work bc either of us wants a relationship it’s more that what we want out of the situationship is different#So lame#Ok this was a lot but I literally came to this epiphany while writing these tags
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Gege make these two interact i dare you
+bonus
#jujutsu kaisen spoilers#jjk spoilers#jjk#maki zenin#mai zenin#nobara kugisaki#momo nishimiya#nobamaki#momomai#nobamai if you squit#i think they're funny#maki and momo are grieving and mai and nobara are just shit talking together in hell#i miss my girls#do i still have hopes of nobara coming back? maybe#never back down never what?#anyway yesterday i realized maki and momo should be friends and cried#bc maki of course looks so much like mai#and momo can be brash an outspoken just like nobara#its like they're trying to fill a void#you can pretend im not myself only if i can pretend you're not yourself type of shit#they make me mentally ill#im making this a thing#i dont care if its platonic or romantic i just know its sad#i wanted to call them momomaki but its already a ship in another fandom i think so#makimomo it is#makimomo
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There is an ache in my heart for the imagined beauty of a life I haven't had, from which I had been locked out, and it never goes away.
#female hysteria#girl core#lizzy grant#english#gaslight gatekeep girlblog#girlhood#girlblogging#this is a girlblog#this is what makes us girls#idk how to tag this#femcel#female manipulator#female rage#tumblr girls#girl interrupted#sofia coppola#the virgin suicides#love quotes#relatable quotes#how to manifest#sadgirl#sad thoughts#strict parents#lol#girls supporting girls#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#girls talk#whisper girl#love yourself#friends
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Questions from a Curious Child
and there was a tickle fight…the end.
this reblog has lived in the back of my mind for a bit and it inspired me to make this, so thank you @thesweetnessofspring
#their love makes me mentally ill#summers day with toast baby girl and she loves to talk like her papa#before she started school and before her new best friend was born#mama!katniss#papa!peeta#Willow Mellark#toastbaby girl#toastbaby boy#peeta and katniss#pre epilogue#Everlark#fanart#buggiebite#the hunger games#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#katniss mellark
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Blitzo and Moxxie reaffirming their friendship:
Blitzo and Millie reaffirming their friendship:
#Blitzo and Moxxie are girl friends who talk things out#and Blitzo and Millie are boy friends who beat each other up after one argument and they're back to being besties#helluva boss#helluva boss season 2#helluva boss spoilers#ghostfuckers#truth seekers#blitzo#helluva millie#helluva boss millie#helluva boss blitzo#helluva Blitzo#moxxie#helluva boss moxxie#helluva moxxie#vivziemind#vivzieverse#vivziepop#vivienne medrano
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guess who just spent 15 minutes of their lifetime transcribing a 4 minute clip of pearl rambling about life series on stream (29/10/2024)
anyway i can’t upload the video (too long) here’s the transcript anyway (also long)
Pearl: Um, alrighty. By the way, I wanna— I’m, I’m curious, I wanna know, okay, it— when it came to… Secret Life, why did people think I— I betrayed Gem completely? Wouldn’t me teaming with Gem have betrayed Scar? I wanna know where all this, like, super [word that i can’t place for the life of me. solar???] “Pearl betrayed Gem” came from. (laughs)
I understand, I killed her at the end. And we teamed up for a moment. But Scar was on our side and not trying to kill my allies. That was my team from the beginning. Gem, was always trying to kill ‘em. So how… how is that not a betrayal in any… like it kinda has to be quote unquote betrayal, but technically Scar was allied with me more? (laughs)
“Scar was distinctly not on anyone’s side” Did anyone watch my finale? ‘Cause, he was teamed up with us. Gem was trying to kill us in that last episode. So, logically, I would fight with the person who’s not trying to kill my team. [Freudian slip]
So I just wanna know, how did I do the betraying in that instance? (laughs) “From her POV it was a betrayal” Ahh, it’s a belief system, huh? (laughs) But it’s funny. I like it. I was just curious what, uh, put the nail in the coffin for that belief. ‘Cause I’ve seen it come up a little bit lately, and apparently I’m the one that betrayed.
(laughs) I dunno about that one. Curious. Curious, curious, curious. (laughs) Technically, whichever way I’ve gone, I would’ve went— it would’ve been betraying somebody, right? If I’d turned around and killed Scar, I would’ve betrayed him, because he was allied with us at the end. And then killing Gem obviously, same. But, when it came to that, I actually let Scar— I think I hit her once. Otherwise it was Scar. I did one whack, and then I stood back and let him kind of rock and roll. And uh, make it— make it between those two. So it was an interesting finale, that one.
But, something that people have mentioned actually, is that, uhh, another thing was, with, uh, Cleo and Scott in Real Life.
All this talk of Pearlo betraying people, are we not gonna realise that people have betrayed me in the life series? With a split decision? I’m just sayin’. They ain’t innocent. (laughs) Just sayin’, I think— I think 5am Pearl had every right to do what I did. Throw in um, what is it, the fuel on the fire for this one?
Character arcs. It’s cool to see how people analyse them, so I’ve been seeing a little bit of that. Especially with the new, uh, “I don’t love you” line that I got last session. Love you Gem. Always will. Even when you say no. (laughs) Even if you don’t, I’ll still be there. It’s fine. (laughs)
“Do it for the plot, Pearl” Basically.
(clip ends)
#she’s so right for the SL thing people pretending scar won alone just because he said “how’d the guy with no friends win”#ever heard of an unreliable narrator guys. guys pearl was right there. guys#so funny when she realises it’s just what gem thinks and goes like ahh okay that makes sense but /why/#also so funny when she says i only hit her once. HELP. girl listen to yourself rn#cleo and scott. man. the way she switches between third and first person and seems to be talking about both DL and RL is very on-brand#also only a hardcore gempearl fan who stalked every tag after wl ep 2 could’ve jumped as hard as i did#when she pointed out the “i don’t love you” line. oh she definitely saw that one fanart#and then obviously the bit about gem. the dichotomy between this and whatever the subnautica clip was#please i’m gonna lose it they remind me of DL zombiewood
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I need to know fellow Dottore lovers, how much of you also love this man 🥺 BECAUSE I DO!!!
#smooches talks#IM TELLING U IVE SEEN A BUNCH OF DOTTORE ENJOYERS CONVERTED INTO RECA LIKERS ON MY TWT FEED#i think this semi happened before with boothill (sharp teeth)#i love mr reca he's so silly <3 and i need soft fics with him <3#AND CAN WE TALK ABT THE ASSISTANT DIRECTOR!!! HIS FRIEND!!!! <3#also i just realized i BARELY posted at all this month#heh... sweats nervously!!!!#i think having classes consecutively for 6 hours and then commuting really takes a toll on a girl yk#im gonna try and write some fluff for today tho !! >.<
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