#gin was the one in the mask btw

[indigosabyss]

The Stranger On The Bridge (BSD x JJK)

[warning for dazai-typical suicide jokes; spoilers for JJK Culling Game Arc]

It had been three days since the terrible incident in Shibuya. Yuuji was still in shock from it all.

The city was quiet now. Except for the curses, everyone had made themselves scarce. That was why it was so impossible to believe what he saw, out on the bridge.

"Hey, Choso, you see that guy?" He leaned over to ask the Cursed Womb Painting, as they watched the figure in the trenchcoat lean against the support cable, legs dangling off the bridge they had been planning to use as a chokepoint for more curses.

"Uh huh." Choso agreed, "Do we... wait for him to scram, or what?"

"I should talk to him." Yuuji decided, "A bridge like this... even without the curses running around, he might not be in the best state of mind right now."

"I'll keep watch from afar." Choso decided, "In case he tries something."

The guy had some sort of guardian complex that had transferred from his brothers to Yuuji. Given that Yuuji had killed those brothers, and didn't really want to go back to fighting, he wasn't going to acknowledge it.

"It'll be fine." He assured Choso, moving toward the man sitting on the edge of the bridge.

Once he got closer, he realized that the man had bandages wrapped around his neck and arm, peeking out from under his clothes. He was humming along as he swung his legs in the air.

"Hey, man." Yuuji coughed, "How's it going?"

The man sighed dramatically, not reacting slightly to Yuuji coming out of nowhere, "It's going alright. But I think if I jump here, it'll go even better."

"Don't do that!" Yuuji yelped, "There's- uh- a lot of things to live for?"

The guy looked at him in amusement, "Did you somehow miss the giant circle torn out of the middle of Shibuya? We're living in times way too interesting for my taste."

Okay, so Yuuji was going to surrender his life the second he got back to Jujutsu Tech because of the Shibuya thing, so he didn't really have a leg to stand on.

"But that's no reason to-" Yuuji began to argue, only to be cut off by a curse jumping up from the waters and barreling towards them. Yuuji jumped back on instinct, but the other guy reached his arms out wide, almost encouraging the curse to attack him.

The curse was fast. But Yuuji was faster. Before it could touch the man, he obliterated it.

"Aw man." The guy in the bandages pouted, "I was hoping it would kill me."

"You can see that thing?" Yuuji asked.

He grinned, "Of course I can. Got a lot of tricks hidden up my sleeves." He popped cricks in his neck, "I guess I owe you for prolonging this cursed life, so I'll give you my name. It's Dazai Osamu."

Dazai? Weird name.

Then he wandered off muttering about finding death elsewhere, and Yuuji and Choso were able to use the bridge. He didn't think of the interaction at all after that.

-----

Until they were in the Culling Game, and a guy with choppy white bangs and purple-yellow eyes cornered Yuuji.

"You wouldn't happen to know someone called Dazai Osamu, would you?" He asked apologetically. Weirdly meek for someone who had made it this far into the Culling Game.

"Nope." Fushiguro answered for him, incorrectly.

Another guy, with black hair and a jacket that moved oddly in the wind, growled, and the belt of his jacket sharpened into a blade to point at his neck, "I know someone from your party made contact with him, so tell us where Dazai-san is before Rashoumon has to tear you limb from limb-"

"Ah, now I remember!" Yuuji interjected hurriedly, "I met him on a bridge in Shibuya one time!"

"You shouldn't have done that." White-Bangs muttered, "Now he'll think interrogation is an effective information-gathering method."

"I don't see you getting results, Were-Tiger." Carnivore-Jacket hissed before focusing on Yuuji again, "Where is he now?"

"Dude that was a single meeting more than a week ago! How am I supposed to know?"

Carnivore-Jacket was giving them a death glare, but before it could escalate to more than that, White-Bangs and a person with black hair and a white medical mask grabbed him by each arm and carefully guided him away.

[bugbytez13]

hi hello I saw your recent tachihara post, and just thought I’d share something :)) (btw I’m more of a head cold & fever/delirium guy then an emeto person, but I’ll try to think of some of those too)

The most defensive sickie. Ever. Could be swaying side to side, 2 seconds away from passing out, and he’d still refuse help

Has a really insensitive stomach, can eat a lot while sick, if he pushes, however, when it hits him, it hits him bad

He seems like either a restless sickie, or completely bedridden, there’s no in between

*The last bullet point depends on if someone actually convinces him to go to bed, and/or how sick he is. Once again, he’s someone who usually pushes through

Responsible enough to actually wear a mask around the Hunting Dogs and around town, at least

Makes an excuse for the mask

anyway, do you have any for Tachihara?? kinda curious ngl

can i kiss you? can i give you a little kiss? right on the cheek? i love you very much thank you for sending these to me

he would definitely refuse any kind of help!! he just wants to fight through his illness and get the job done. he hasn’t ever been treated with much kindness in his life so i think getting this help is really unfamiliar to him and freaks him out a bit

adding onto the insensitive stomach bit he would not know he was nauseous until like. the last second. he assumes it’s nerves or hunger until he’s like Oh Shit I’m About To Throw Up. often hits him out of nowhere 😭

i feel like he would not want to stay down when sick! but when he does rest you know it’s getting BAD.

and for a few of my own head canons!

as much as he will deny it he does love physical affection when he doesn’t feel well. he doesn’t really ask for it or seek it out since he doesn’t. really know how? but he will melt into the touch of someone checking his temperature or rubbing his belly to settle his nausea.

i feel like he would get migraines very often. might just be projection though 😭

got appendicitis with the port mafia. was extremely terrifying for everyone there because no one knew what was going on since he hid away until gin found him horribly sick one night. he came out alright though 💪

on the flip side i feel like he’d be really good at taking care of others while they are sick? maybe a bit bumbling and clueless but he’d try his absolute hardest

prone to food poisoning because he will often eat whatever he can get his hands on

again TYSM!!! your head canons are so awesome 🙏

[ryescapades]

*ੈ‧₊༺ “SHE’S BEEN DANCING WITH THE DEVIL ALL NIGHT,”

— a casual night out at a party turns wild when you come face to face with a masked man.

characters: ghostface!itoshi rin (bllk) x fem!reader contents: nsfw mdni !!! mention of drinking, unprotected p in v seggs, mutual + guided masturbation, slight oral fixation, a bit of choking, mirror seggs, dirty talk, creampie, college setting, hint of jealous!rin, swearing, clothed seggs, reader wears a skirt

a/n: i didn't write this btw. my inner demon did. (blaming lumi for sending me that ghostface fanart of rin) 2k wc

you feel him before you can even see him.

it’s heavy and persistent, the weight of his gaze pricking the back of your neck like dry needles, except it’s making your muscles lock up tighter, not supposedly the other way around. you look around, eyes roving over the boisterous crowd and taking in the sight of some of them dressed in costumes in some way or the other.

halloween had already ended, but there are people still in the festive mood, it seems.

your roommate had invited you to this huge college party at someone’s house, and with nothing to do with your time seeing as the midterms season just finished, you had agreed to come along. you thought the hang out would only consist of a few chats and drinks with friends, maybe a dance or two, the night ending with you going back home probably drunk and alone.

you just didn’t think some random guy would immediately take interest in you the minute you slid up to the makeshift bar.

reluctantly, you force yourself to focus on the conversation in front of you, barely taking in what the guy is saying. you can’t even remember what his name is and the department he’s from.

jirou… from the medic course? you think? you don’t know anymore. and frankly, you don’t care. you’re pretty sure he was flirting with you - still is, in fact. but again, you’re just not listening. not when as soon as the guy started talking, he appeared in the corner of your eye.

silent yet deadly imposing, he towers over most of the people here like he owns the place. clad in a black hoodie and equally dark pants, he looks almost out of place with those casual clothes, if not for the ghostface mask he adorns.

goosebumps prickle on your arms when you accidentally glance at the inky depths of the eyes on the mask.

“hey, you listening?” jirou’s voice takes you by surprise, and the glass of fruit gin your roommate had graciously requested for you almost slips out of your hand from your flinch, making the cold liquid inside to splash out to your hand.

“shit, sorry! i didn’t mean to startle you—“ jirou panics, but you’re already shaking your head and waving your hand off as you rise from your seat. “no, you’re good. i just - uh, i’ll be right back,” you lie through teeth.

you’d rather spend the next hour rereading the materials for your previous tests than listen to him talk for another minute, if you’re being honest. swiftly making your way to the washroom, you sigh wistfully at your lack of luck in getting a good new company tonight.

you don’t get far, unfortunately.

out of nowhere, there is a hand taking a hold on your elbow, causing you to let out a shriek as you’re being pulled into an empty room. the door closes, your back pressing against it as the culprit of said hand looms over you.

it’s the man from earlier. the one whose gaze had been burning holes in the back of your head from across the room. your body turns rigid, unnerved at the ghostface mask he’s wearing. “it’s you,” you whisper.

he doesn’t say anything, but his hand reaches up to your face, cradling your jaw with his fingers as his thumb places itself on your lip. your pulse quickens when he gently traces the seam of your mouth, pressing onto the plush cushion.

words instantly die on your tongue the moment he uses the same hand to hold yours— the one still sticky from the alcohol from earlier— and brings it to your lips. your breath hitches at the insinuation. “wh-what…”

without any warning, the masked man pushes your middle and ring fingers in, breaching past your lips and into your mouth. a muffled sound rips out from you, one that takes both you and him by surprise.

holy shit, did you just pathetically whimper from having your own fingers shoved into your mouth? yes. yes, you did.

sweet and tangy tinges from the gin hit your tastebuds, and something inside you flares up then. the man lets out a hiss, shamelessly palming his erection with his free hand when you swirl your tongue around and in between your fingers, taking them deeper into your mouth as your lashes flutter from your own action.

there’s a hushed curse, and suddenly you’re being shoved onto the bed in the middle of the room. you don’t fight it. you don’t even want to.

desire pools deep in your core, your body alighting from the sensitized nerves. you can feel yourself getting hotter, the growing wetness between your thighs making your panties feel uncomfortable to be in.

“hands and knees,” your breath stutters at the voice, pussy clenching around nothing as you move to obey his command. you’re doing something wrong, however, when he audibly clicks his tongue. “lower,” he says.

you bite down on your lip, finally understanding before you descend lower, your head laying on the bed and hips lifting in the air as you nervously fist on the sheets below you.

you feel so… exposed. vulnerable. and yet you’re so pitifully turned on you don’t know what to make of yourself.

shivering as his hands drops to your hips, he pulls your skirt further up to bare your ass for his eyes to see. he teases the hem of your soiled panties before tugging them down your thighs, cursing low under his breath at the sight of your wet, dripping cunt.

“play with yourself,” he instructs. swallowing down the nerves, you bring the fingers you’d sucked on earlier to your pussy, tentatively rubbing at your folds as more slickness seeps out from you.

you let out a small whine when you hear the clinging of his belt behind you. “faster,” he orders, and you do. your pussy clenches again, whimpering into the sheets as your fingers get more coated with your sticky wetness.

you can hear him breathing heavily, and you know he’s stroking himself at the sight of you. shoulders rigid against the bed, you desperately want to turn around, to see how he looks like, how his dick looks like.

“please…” you whisper. you almost rejoice then, when you feel the bed dips on both side, his knees appearing beside your own. “god, you’re so soaked i could just push it right in,” he groans.

and that’s exactly what he’s planning to do.

grabbing both of your arms, he pulls you up to lean back against his chest, the soft material of his hoodie a contrast to the hard, throbbing cock against your back. the audible dreamy sigh you're trying to hold back feels fatally difficult after feeling the sheer size of him.

goddamn, he’s gonna make you feel so fucking full.

he rests his head beside yours, bare muscled thighs caging yours in between. “look up,” his voice enters your ears. you bring your gaze up out of mild confusion, and the gasp he elicits out of you is not just out of surprise.

right as you lift your head, he plunges his cock straight into your awaiting hole, straight away hitting the deepest part of you. what you didn’t expect however, is the mirror that sits adjacent to the bed, reflecting the obscene view of you getting railed by a ghostface from behind.

“f-fuck!” your sweet little cry causes his cock to twitch inside, a rough grunt ripping out from his throat. he barely gives you time to accommodate to his size - then again you don’t think you need any. you’re already dripping so much that his dick can easily mold your pussy to the shape of him.

“you’re so tight,” he starts thrusting in and out, cock dragging against your insides in the most delicious way. the needy moan you let out is high-pitched, a keening sound that echoes around the room.

“you love getting fucked like this, huh? love getting ruined by masked men?” he sneers through clenched teeth, one of his arms reaching to hold you captive by the throat and the other slipping under your shirt to keep a possessive hold around your waist.

zaps of pleasure form at the base of your spine, your toes curling from the pure desire coursing through you. your filthy, desperate noises only grow louder when he picks up the pace, bullying his cock into your cunt just as desperately.

“pleasepleaseplease—“ you sob through the tightening of his lithe fingers around your throat, clamping down on him as you choke on the slight lack of air.

you grip onto his forearm like it’s your lifeline, back arching as you can feel yourself getting into the precipice of your climax. the sound of skin slapping against skin bounces off the walls, the loud squelching of your pussy sending your mind into overdrive.

your eyes become heavily lidded, but you hold yourself back from closing them as you both continue to watch in the mirror, the unsettling look of the ghostface mask only adding to the tingling in your stomach.

“that’s it, baby. look at you. so pretty, so perfect,” he murmurs against your ear, clearly enjoying the debauched expression on your face. “gonna fucking destroy this pussy till you cum so hard around my cock, yeah? not even that pathetic excuse of a guy downstairs can wreck you as bad as i do,"

“yes, yes, only you, please wanna cum - mmnghfuck, please,” you slur, incoherent babbles beginning to fill your mouth as the the coil in your stomach draws taut.

he’s hitting all the right spots inside you, ones you didn’t even know existed, and the glimpse of the creamy ring around the base of his cock in the mirror from how much you’re gushing only gets you closer and closer to the edge.

his hand presses deeper into the soft dip of your waist, hints of red dents making their way onto your skin as he slams into you harder and faster. soon enough, the tightening in your gut snaps, your body trembling in his hold with a shattered, wanton sound.

“so fucking good for me,” he growls, feeling your pussy squeeze down on him as he chases his own impending climax. a few thrusts after and he’s stilling his hips, burying himself as deep as he can with a broken moan. warmth spills inside you, filling you to the brim as your pussy clenches down to milk him for what he’s worth.

the both of you heavily pant as you’re coming down from your high, flushed red from exhaustion and icky from the sweat through your clothes plus the bodily fluids dripping down where you two are still joined together.

your eyes, clouded and hazy, trails to the mirror in front of you. chest heaving, your mind turns dizzy as you stare at the ghostface, both of his hands slowly dropping to your hips.

one second your weight is fully leaned back against him, and the next you’re suddenly thrown onto the sheets, a depraved mewl slipping past your lips when your hole is suddenly emptied, thick globs of your mixed cum freely seeping out of your pussy.

he hovers above you, and your heartbeat quickens when he promptly reaches a hand to his face, grabbing the bottom of the mask to pull it off and toss it away.

dark ivy strands and teal eyes greet you, his hand ruffling the hair to somehow fix his disheveled appearance. “rin…” you breathe out, cheeks tinting with a darker crimson.

your eyes lock, something akin to that familiar connection you’ve always had with the striker clinks into place. “i knew it was you,” you mutter.

you knew from the very first time your eyes laid on him tonight, and you’d confirmed it when he’d first uttered a word to you.

his eyes gleam under the dim light of the room, and he closes the distance between you again as he reaches down to strip himself off the hoodie, toned chest and abdomen from all his rigorous soccer training coming into view.

“good. because i’m gonna fuck you without the mask this time,”

ghostface!rin art by @/akatsuha on tt.

never posted two smuts in a row before dawg this is Not me

also not gonna elaborate on how rin even had the mask in the first place :p some ppl forced it onto him maybe (spoiler it’s bcsg)

©🅁🅈🄴🅂🄲🄰🄿🄰🄳🄴🅂. do not steal, translate or repost my work anywhere else !

[sittingupwiththedead]

Historically most gangs started in places and communities where cops would not go, or where dangerously corrupt.

Extortion of protection money doesn't start as extortion it starts as insurance and investigation. If the bodega is paying you protection money they're not just doing it so your guys won't rob them they're doing it so that if ANYONE robs them you will find out who did it, and you will do something about it because the cops sure as hell won't. And by do something I mean find the fucker and put him on the ground because nobody fucks around in your territory. And maybe Vinnie at the bodega is having trouble paying his rent so you buy the building and instead of protection he's paying you rent yeah? and maybe instead of $500 a month or whatever it is You tell him you'll take just under an equivalent value of cartons of smokes this month and call it even yeah Vinnie? (this by the way makes Vinnie complicit in your criminiality because now he has to cook his books to hide the cigerettes yeah?)

The illegal (read untaxed) selling of booze and cigarettes is still an ongoing problem in many both urban and rural areas btw: If you wanted a way to diversify Hood's operations and move him away from the harder drugs hand rolled/stolen cigarettes and bathtub gin/moonshine might be a way to do it. Besides Batman stories are always at their best when there's a hint of the old school gangsters in it. And let's be honest Batman popping open a crate of expecting to find heroin or oxys and instead finds cartons of Malboros is a hilarious mental image.

The chop shop idea is great, especially if he has bounties. "Steal this asshole's car" or "Steal this type of car". Also if it's a personal vehicle you can alot of ID info out of registrations. Use the registration info to hack a bank account and just skim.

If there's isn't a shitty dying high school in/on the edge of the Narrows I'd be shocked so he have him fund the vocational programs. After school clubs, the idea about selling books to make money as well as encourage literacy (Jason also seems like the kind of troll that would make sure a good chuck of it comes from banned book lists). The mechanic class kids who show real promise get jobs at the mechanic shop covering the chop shop, kids in the art class get money to paint murals his gang can hide their tags in. Free breakfast and Lunch programs. Etc

A free clinic he aggressively enforces as a neutral zone and makes damn sure his guys know is a neutral zone. Needle exchanges.

Going back to the free breakfast and Lunch programs food is a fantastic way to create loyalty even in unexpected places. We have documented instances for example that, in certain towns in the Americna West when miners where injured and couldn't work the local brothel, and their favorite workers there seeing to it that groceries where delivered to the men's wives. Also eating together builds inter connected bonds in humans -it's one of the fastest ways to make us pack bond. You could have Red Hood literally hold dinners for his guys with him sitting at the head of the table. Even if he doesn't eat (depends on how you wanna do the mask situation) make him literally-clearly- 'the founder of the feast'.

Just some ideas. Hope it helps!

(I really wanna read this fic!)

The hardship of planning an elaborate fic about Jason and his crime lord-ing is figuring out how tf to run a crime empire with morals. Oof.

[gold-rhine]

Xiao x Gn! Reader

Warnings: not safe for work, but this one turned out much softer than usual. Sub\dom!reader undertones are still kinda there, but give it a try even if you’re not into this dynamic. First time, handjob, anal sex, mentions of voeyrism (kinda? briefly through the dream), I’m gonna say “cock”, but it stands for strap too, it’s just awkward to keep specifying. 

Wordcount: 4,3k

A\N: Repost bc my previous blog got shadowbanned. I was not sure if I knew what to do for Xiao, but then I remembered that one of his themes is dreamwalking and that’s legit my JAM. It turned out less smutty and more of a psychosexual character study, but I’m still quite fond of it. It’s pretty cheesy, but you know what, Xiao deserves a break. There will be some filth under the cut still. Shoutout to “Nothing to no one” by Gin Wigmore and Placebo’s “Protege Moi” for carrying me through this one.

Xiao is curt and intense to the point of coming off as rude, but never more harsh to anyone but himself. Longing for connection, but consciously denying it himself time after time, severity done like a mask to hide the broken, bleeding bones of gentleness, no time for “trifling human matters”, but enough to return a stolen doll to a little girl. Who the fuck do you think you’re fooling, babe.

And it’s not like he doesn’t know what he wants, oh no, he does, he just won’t admit it even under torture

Friendship lvl3: “Desire? Ha. Do not judge adepti by your mortal ideals. I have no desire.”

Friendship lvl5: “Hiding? I'm hiding nothing. I just won't speak of desire to others. Do mortals not have a rule about spoken wishes never coming true? Hm? What do you mean that's not the same?”

So you admit it, you just fucking lied at lvl3 when you said you “have no desire”?? You just gonna casually go from “Foolish mortal, I have no desires unlike you” to “Of course, I have desires, I want them so badly I won’t even speak them out loud for the fear of jinxing them.” yeah, no, that checks out, SURE.

In Xiao’s world, you don’t communicate what you want, you bottle that shit up and hide it deep inside, and you don’t even admit this bottle exists, let alone tell anyone what’s inside. You don’t believe these wishes will ever come true and you don’t think you deserve it, but because deep down you know you are a weak, corrupted creature, you still hope against all hopes and despise yourself for this foolishness. 

Speaking of which, Xiao collects reasons for self-hatred like it’s his ascension material.

Like, “My only worth is as a weapon, so normal people should not interact with me because I only bring corruption and I am good for nothing outside of bloodshed”

This prickly pride of being a skillful weapon is a double-edged sword of discarding himself as being useless for anything but battle.

Like you have their little training course interaction with Ganyu during her story quest, which btw she receives positively and is grateful for his help, and Xiao’s line about it is:

“You believe a Yaksha who knows nothing more than how to massacre countless souls and emerge unscathed is a suitable mentor for such an individual?”

… babe, can you chill for like, three seconds? You made a defense mini game with like 20 slimes for her, it’s not gonna turn a cocogoat into a cold-blooded killer,

And this dismissal of self-worth outside of combat ties in nicely with bottling up a volatile mix of yearning, loneliness, frustration, despair and innate sensitivity that couldn’t be dulled down even by centuries of self-hatred and pain, and only letting it all out in an incandescent rage in battle, which leads to

“I only feel alive when fighting, which means I’m a monster who only thrives on bloodlust,” despite like, refusing himself all positive stimuli 

“Thriving on bloodlust” somehow not contradicted by the fact that he yearns for beauty and hates this miserable existence so much that he’s legit jumping at the first opportunity to go out in the blaze of glory if it even has a chance to be helpful to other people, and could only be stopped by his dad's Zhongli’s intervention and all off his new friend group going “we’re would be really sad if you died”

Then he’s like “ok i’ll keep on living i guess :\”

(i’m still so salty that they didn’t let Itto talk at all, his story quest speech about sacrifice being an easy and cowardly way out to discard responsibility that doesn’t fix root problems fits Xiao’s situation SO WELL argh) 

Yeah no, all other yakshas talked about wanting peace and his own namecard describes dreaming of peace and donning the mask to dance instead of killing, but yakshas are inherently bloodthirsty species, so there’s no hope for him, that checks out, sure.  

So to summarize, despite how direct Xiao seems at first glance, interacting with him is actually a complex navigation between things he says out loud that he knows are not true, things he says that he can’t admit to himself are not true due to self-loathing, and just general tsundere bullshit. You’ll need a LOT of patience.

Like, does he want to be accepted and loved? Desperately. Will he accept someone trying to do so straightforwardly? Absolutely the fuck not. 

If you try to straight up compliment him, he’d be like “L+ratio+you foolish mortal + You think a killer who devoured countless souls can be cute? + you have bad taste actually + that's disrespectful to the ways of the adepti”

Echoing being unable to voice his desires, Xiao can only accept warmth in indirect, stolen moments, half-glances, throwaway remarks, because connection feels too fragile to be named directly. And remember, spoken wishes never come true

The rituals are *very* intricate

You’re not just walking on eggshells around him, the eggshells are aggressively throwing themselves under your feet and biting at your ankle to make you crush them, so he can be like “see? I don’t deserve love anyway, i was right to hate myself”  

like one comedy article said, “It’s good if a man is skittish and terrified of affection, like a beautiful horse that appears on the edge of a frozen lake one day and you have to tame it by bringing it a handful of food every day until it slowly comes to learn your scent (but with sex)”

That’s Xiao in a nutshell, but you’re bringing seeds to a bird-feeder and the bird has chronic pain and is scared to hurt you

Here’s the thing though. You’ll know he’s yours when he starts showing interest in your perspective on everyday things. He’s curious by nature, but never lets himself wonder, unless he’s sure beyond the doubt that his participation is wanted. 

“Xiao: I have no intention of getting close to the lives of mortals.

 Xiao: But I know that you often enter and leave the city, walking amidst the crowd.

 Xiao: The stories of these times, or their joys... If I don't experience such things myself, it'll be hard to understand your thoughts.

So... you're doing this for me?

 Xiao: Yes, to understand you.

 Xiao: I had a feeling that it would be difficult, but after having such thoughts, I can't simply sit back and do nothing.”

He’s inquisitive and quick thinking, but very socially awkward and prone to hiding his true desires. So even before asking you to include him, he starts scouting your dreams.

It’s nothing invasive like devouring dreams or dragging projections into the real world. Just catching brief, fleeting glimpses,carefully pressed against the soap bubble of your dream. Even in short flashes, it helps to see things from your point of view.

…and sometimes, rarely, he catches images of how you see him, so bewilderingly different from what he’s used to, not the corruption-ridden creature with ugly lines of the fanged mask etched onto his face and blood staining his hands, but instead…

Sharp turn of his head when you call out his name, and the sun illuminates him from behind, brilliant halo shining through the messy dark hair, and he can’t even recognize himself in this memory, golden-eyed and gorgeous, so he bundles up this vision, hides it deep inside among other unattainable, undeserved, unspoken wishes. 

It’s self-indulgent, a bit pathetic for the adeptus, but ultimately harmless, like a weakness for the almond tofu. A spark of sweetness to get him through the misery of his everyday life.

Until one night he catches a dream where you’re fucking him.

It throws him off balance so hard, he flees immediately, not just from the dreamspace, but teleporting to an isolated mountain peak.

But the image is seared into his retinas nonetheless.

It’s because he’s offended, he tries to tell himself. How extremely disrespectful. As if an adeptus like himself, who has no interest in the foolishness of mortal desires, would want to be sprawled under you, dizzy with pleasure, held and kissed and caressed, like he’s the most beautiful and wanted thing in the world, like touching him brings joy, like…

He has to teleport again, but it doesn’t help. Horrified, he realizes he’s aroused.

It’s a tough couple of weeks for the both of you.

He’s even more sullen and jumpy than normally, and when you ask him if everything’s okay and if there’s anything you can do to help, he gets a panicked look of a deer in headlights and vanishes.

You decide it’s probably some yaksha angst and it’s better to give him some space

You don’t remember your dream, and even if you did, you wouldn’t think much of it.

He can’t stop thinking about it. It resurfaces, uncalled, in the most inopportune moments, no matter how hard he tries to push it down. The obscene view of himself, arms over the head, parted lips, back arched and legs spread wide with you between them. 

He didn’t stay long enough to catch more, but even this is enough to drive him up the walls, sometimes literally, to make him want something he can’t properly name. He was used to tolerating the constant gnawing pain of the corruption, but this needy ache is maddening, fading and reappearing when least expected to throw him off kilter.

He alternates from watching over your dreams intently to being unable to even glance at them, but on the nights when he does look, there’s nothing similar.

Which is good. It means you were not serious about it, it was just a fluke. Minds of mortals are notoriously fickle, especially in the dream state, and can produce all sorts of ridiculous fantasies and ideas that mean nothing.

Of course it meant nothing, who would seriously see a weapon for eons steeped in blood and corruption as a lover?  What pleasure could you expect from someone whose very nature and purpose is slaughter? It could only lead to disappointment. Repulsion, even. It’d be preposterous to even think about it.

Which is why it’s outrageous that he *is* still thinking about it.

But now it’s been a few weeks and the pulsing want dulled down, lost a terrifying thrill of possibility of being reciprocated, and is almost ready to become another weak, shameful yearning, bottled up and shoved into a dark corner. 

And then his heart jumps into his throat when he sees you dreaming of Wangshu Inn’s balcony drowned in moonlight, and he’s in your arms as you’re sitting by one of tables, he’s straddling your thighs, your mouth and hands wandering over his naked chest and collarbones.

The half-drowsed ember of desire roars back in thrice the force, and feverishly, he thinks of an idea. What if he took place of his own image? Then he could learn what it feels like. He could finally stop wondering what would happen and just get over this maddening sickness. And you won’t even notice the switch. You’ll probably end up unsatisfied because he would not be able to give you the pleasure you expected, but it’s all a fleeting, momentary dream for you anyway, not worthy of remembering in the morning.

He spent centuries hunting dreams, but never tried to become a part of them, so he doesn’t realize a simple truth: a dream cannot be entered without being shared equally.

The first thing that changes in your dream when he becomes a part of it is actually the sky, but you don’t notice it because the responsive, pliant body in your arms suddenly becomes woodenly tense. At the same time, your awareness deepens, dream becoming almost lucid, as you gain control over yourself, but not surroundings. 

What confuses you even more is a barrage of strange emotions coming down at you out of nowhere: anxiety on the verge of panic, fearful anticipation, needy, smoldering fervor of desire. 

You look up at Xiao’s face to see him looking almost severe if not for the heavy blush and refusal to meet your eyes, breath held nervously, and realize in an instant - this is actually him, not the figment of your imagination, it’s his thoughts and emotions you can now glimpse like he usually does with others when dreamwalking.  

And also, that if you even try to acknowledge this, he’ll bolt to the other end of the world, so you don’t say anything.

It’s tempting to claim his mouth, but he’s too petrified, his jaw clenched tightly. Instead, you trail the line of kisses down his throat and feel the sharp pang of his relief at supposedly not being discovered. 

You caress him slowly, carefully, moving tenderly over his arched neck, sharp curves of the collarbones, chest that rises fast and feverishly in shaky breathes, taste nervous flare of his pulse in the deliciously delicate hollow of his throat, until the warm pleasure spreads under his skin, melts frozen rigidness into a different kind of tension, a taut bowstring, drawn tightly, trembling at every touch. 

When you nuzzle at the underside of his jaw, he moves his head abruptly and presses his mouth against yours, tense because he wants this so badly, but doesn’t know what to do with himself, an awkward angle and all teeth. But you take your time, slide your fingers into his hair and tilt his head, kiss his lips until he finally relaxes and opens up. When you slide your tongue against his, he makes the tiniest noise, barely audible tremble caught in his throat.

He was worried about how inexperienced he is, but when he’s too lost in the kiss, desire takes care of this easily. Without realizing, he’s arching in your arms, grinding against your legs. When you slide your hands lower, over his stomach, hips, stroke his thighs, he moans into your mouth and opens his knees wider, thrusts against you, already hard.

You slide your hand into his pants and close your fingers over his cock and he shudders, breaks the kiss, realizing what you are doing, what he was doing, how easily he’s losing control, his wild yellow eyes wide and uncertain.

“It’s okay,” you tell him softly. “Everything is going to be okay. Let me take care of you, baby.”

He catches your affection, shared through the dream, and the narrow vertical slits in his eyes widen, blackness flaring up against gold. With a short, shuddering draw of the breath, he relents, leans into you to nuzzle at your cheek. You can feel his blush heating up against your skin, flutter of the eyelashes. 

You start stroking his cock slowly, holding him with your other arm, whisper sweet reasurings into his ears, understanding how hard it is for him to show vulnerability, even under the supposed disguise. 

His hips start moving again, now in rhythm with your hand, and you quicken the pace. Suddenly, you realize he’s naked except for the gloves, because the dream lets things happen easier, removes inconveniences, requiring nothing but mutual intent. You can’t help but smirk, press a wet kiss to the side of his jaw and twist your hand over the head of his cock. He lets out a stifled gasp, his tip throbs and starts leaking in your palm. He lifts his arms as if to grasp at your shoulders, but stops before he can touch you, lets them drop. 

But you notice that something is wrong with his hands - the gloves are a part of him, darkness etched painfully into his flesh, and instead of the slender fingers you know he actually has, his hands end in ugly sharp claws, covered in splotches of dried blood. Your heart breaks a little when you realize this is how he sees himself, this is what he thinks his touch would feel like. But you cannot argue directly, can’t say that it’s not true without breaking a fragile silence between you, acknowledging that it’s actually him.  

So instead you catch his chin in your free hand. “Hey, look at me.”

He meets your eyes, his own hazy, feverish with need, but he looks at you intensely. “You are so good,” you tell him quietly, holding his gaze even as his eyes widen, your hand over his cock moving faster and faster. “You are so beautiful, baby. I wouldn’t want anyone else in the world here instead of you.” 

He cries out, sharp and surprised, almost pained with helplessness, like a hawk shot in the air midflight, and comes undone. When he unravels in your arms, his old, half-forgotten, buried dreams spill out too. 

So when he falls back, tugging you with him, he lands not on wooden planks of Wangshu Inn’s balcony, but on the soft cover of tangled lush grass. Tall green stalks meet over your head, as if trying to protect, hide a secret from the world.

A strange word from the ancient, dead language surfaces in your mind, a word that meant “sea of wind” - a name of vast grasslands that once covered these plains, endless green waves that rolled under the breeze from horizon to horizon. 

His body is pale under you, dappled in moonlight that manages to get through the hover of softly wavering grass. Flickering light of the fireflies, green and lemony-yellow, doesn’t illuminate anything, but only makes the dark emerald shadows deeper in-between the narrow stalks where they move. But his golden eyes are very bright, still quietly shocked, searching, never leaving your face like he’s afraid you’ll vanish if he looks away.  

You smile, lean down to catch his mouth, and he kisses you with abandon, still awkward, but with sweetness that neither you nor him knew he was capable of. The air smells faintly of warm earth, fresh grass and bittersweet Qingxin flowers. The moments stretch for eternity like only dreams allow for, full moon halting in the dark starry skies above. 

He wants more, but he doesn’t know how to ask for it, doesn’t have the words. But in this state of bewildered, warm haziness, drunk of both lust and certainty of your desire, his shame evaporates. He remembers the first dream he saw, the image that haunted him for weeks, and recreates it - arms thrown over head, arched back and spread legs.

Except he looks infinitely better, countless details that the fantasy could not account for, - breathless, tangled in green shadows and silver moonlight, lithe and wiry-muscled, heavy flush of his cheeks contrasted to the eager, glowing gold eyes, arm flexing under tattoo as he clutches at the grass to keep himself still, subtle tremble of his open thighs, hard, pulsing cock, leaking on the tense stomach, already stained with cum.

In the waking world, you’d spend considerable time preparing him, given how inexperienced and sensitive he is. Even without that consideration, another time you’d want to go teasingly slowly, make him writhe on your fingers, plead for mercy.

But right now, in these stolen moonlit moments it feels too ugent, too desperate, and the fever of a dream lets you skip the steps, sweep right into sliding into him. This time he arches under you not for show, silent gasp and widened eyes.

You pause, letting him adjust to the feeling of your cock inside of him, ravish him with kisses in the meanwhile, feel him squirm, overwhelmed and gratified by both sensations and your hunger for him. When he finally bucks his hips against you, you start moving, first carefully, then turning to the hard, firm pace, and it runs through him, echoes in choked grunts and feverish drum of the heart. The dream bends to this steady beat, light of the fireflies pulsing in tact, and somehow he’s both on the grass beneath you and rising up, in the same rhythm, sharp cyclical thrusts upwards.

Suddenly, sky spills all around you, the lights of stars mingling with the fireflies in between the narrow grass stalks, and golden wings of the wind that takes you upward beat in the rhythm of your movement. The sky around you is too vast and sharp, the depth and freedom you’ve never seen before, and you realize this is what it feels like to taste the joy of a creature born to soar.

He’s too lost in the pleasure, looking up at you, the sky opening up for him with every thrust, every lunge. He can’t remember the last time when he took flight just for the joy of it, when he looked up instead of down to track the enemies and come crashing in a flurry of broken spears. All these centuries of being sure he was made for violence, and suddenly it sheds off him like dust, all this time thinking he can only feel alive during battle, and now his body sings so easily, so naturally, and it sings of wind and starlight, not of rage and blood. 

When he reaches the peak of the ascent, time slows down for a weightless, breathless moment, a precipice after which he usually turns flight into a controlled, violent plunge. Instead, with a quiet, helpless moan, he closes his eyes and lets himself fall.

Stars burn under his eyelids, ancient, forgotten constellations flaring up, mixing with the current ones, until it’s impossible to tell them apart, entangled like your bodies in the soft grass that was destroyed centuries ago, a new celestial atlas that exists only for the two of you.

Even as he curls against you after, soft and sweet, you can feel bitter, ashen current staining the dream: he thinks this is the only time he gets to feel happy. And in the moment, it seems absolutely ludicrous to keep the pretense of not knowing that it’s him and let him wallow in his angst.

“Xiao,” you tell him quietly, gently stroking sharp knobs of his spine, “it’s okay. You can be mine. The world is not going to end.”

He freezes for a second, his eyes going wide in panic, and then vanishes abruptly. Dream shatters into a thousand shards, and you wake up with a gasp.

You give him a few days to process and then, on the moonlit Wangshu’s balcony after all the guests have left, you quietly call his name.

He appears on the other side of the balcony, arms crossed, looking sullen and severe, which could look intimidating if you didn’t know him and if not for a little detail.

“You don’t have to stand that far, I can still see that you’re blushing.”

 He scowls. “What do you want?”

“I thought we should talk about what happened.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. It was foolish. For both of us.”

“Talk for yourself.”

“No, it was extremely foolish for you too,” he says with sudden, agitated passion. “You knew what I am, I’ve told you from the start to keep your distance. I’ve never asked you to… I’ve warned you to treat me as a weapon, and…”

“Oh, don’t give me that crap again! I’ve tasted your sky. I know the violence is not your only nature.”

He chokes on his breath, looks away, then says quietly.

“It may not be, but it is the only thing I’m proficient with. So what does it matter what was once my nature? There are many others, more suitable for you to…”

“Well, that’s not for you to decide. You don’t get to tell me who I want. You can only choose for yourself.”

He glances at you very quickly and looks away again with a quiet “Hmph,” but you can tell how torn and unsure of what to do he is.

“Xiao,” you say softly, reaching out to him. “Come here.”

He looks at you for a long moment and then vanishes. You curse under your breath and flop down on a chair in frustration. But then suddenly the air smells sharply of ozone and in a flurry of teal and black, Xiao appears on top of you.

He looks incredibly irritated and refuses to meet your eyes, but he’s straddling you, so you grin and grip his hips. His hand instinctively moves to cover yours, but he stops himself before he can touch you. This time you don’t have to pretend you don’t notice.

You catch his hand and gently pull off the tight-fitting black glove. He finally looks at you, surprised. 

“What are you doing?”

“Hm?” you fake innocence, because two can play the ‘not acknowledging true subtext of the actions’ game. “I don’t know what your plans were when you landed on top of me, but sex generally requires undressing.”

He frowns in confusion, then freezes when you bring his hand to your mouth. His pale fingers are long and bony, and you hold his gaze while pointedly kissing each angular knuckle. It only fully hits him when you turn his hand and press your lips to his scarred palm, then move them down to the tender skin of his wrist.

He doesn’t say anything, but his narrow pupils widen in an instant, and when you kiss him, you can feel his hands slowly, hesitantly sliding over your shoulders.

[rhine-gold-archive]

I love your sub headcanons so much, do you have anything for Xiao?

Xiao x Gn! Reader

Warnings: not safe for work, but this one turned out much softer than usual. Sub\dom!reader undertones are still kinda there, but give it a try even if you’re not into this dynamic. First time, handjob, anal sex, mentions of voeyrism (kinda? briefly through the dream), I’m gonna say “cock”, but it stands for strap too, it’s just awkward to keep specifying. 

Wordcount: 4,3k

A\N: I was not sure if I knew what to do for Xiao, but then I remembered that one of his themes is dreamwalking and that’s legit my JAM. It turned out less smutty and more of a psychosexual character study, but I’m still quite fond of it. It’s pretty cheesy, but you know what, Xiao deserves a break. There will be some filth under the cut still. Shoutout to “Nothing to no one” by Gin Wigmore and Placebo’s “Protege Moi” for carrying me through this one.

Xiao is curt and intense to the point of coming off as rude, but never more harsh to anyone but himself. Longing for connection, but consciously denying it himself time after time, severity done like a mask to hide the broken, bleeding bones of gentleness, no time for “trifling human matters”, but enough to return a stolen doll to a little girl. Who the fuck do you think you’re fooling, babe.

And it’s not like he doesn’t know what he wants, oh no, he does, he just won’t admit it even under torture

Friendship lvl3: “Desire? Ha. Do not judge adepti by your mortal ideals. I have no desire.”

Friendship lvl5: “Hiding? I'm hiding nothing. I just won't speak of desire to others. Do mortals not have a rule about spoken wishes never coming true? Hm? What do you mean that's not the same?”

So you admit it, you just fucking lied at lvl3 when you said you “have no desire”?? You just gonna casually go from “Foolish mortal, I have no desires unlike you” to “Of course, I have desires, I want them so badly I won’t even speak them out loud for the fear of jinxing them.” yeah, no, that checks out, SURE.

In Xiao’s world, you don’t communicate what you want, you bottle that shit up and hide it deep inside, and you don’t even admit this bottle exists, let alone tell anyone what’s inside. You don’t believe these wishes will ever come true and you don’t think you deserve it, but because deep down you know you are a weak, corrupted creature, you still hope against all hopes and despise yourself for this foolishness. 

Speaking of which, Xiao collects reasons for self-hatred like it’s his ascension material.

Like, “My only worth is as a weapon, so normal people should not interact with me because I only bring corruption and I am good for nothing outside of bloodshed”

This prickly pride of being a skillful weapon is a double-edged sword of discarding himself as being useless for anything but battle.

Like you have their little training course interaction with Ganyu during her story quest, which btw she receives positively and is grateful for his help, and Xiao’s line about it is:

“You believe a Yaksha who knows nothing more than how to massacre countless souls and emerge unscathed is a suitable mentor for such an individual?”

… babe, can you chill for like, three seconds? You made a defense mini game with like 20 slimes for her, it’s not gonna turn a cocogoat into a cold-blooded killer,

And this dismissal of self-worth outside of combat ties in nicely with bottling up a volatile mix of yearning, loneliness, frustration, despair and innate sensitivity that couldn’t be dulled down even by centuries of self-hatred and pain, and only letting it all out in an incandescent rage in battle, which leads to

“I only feel alive when fighting, which means I’m a monster who only thrives on bloodlust,” despite like, refusing himself all positive stimuli 

“Thriving on bloodlust” somehow not contradicted by the fact that he yearns for beauty and hates this miserable existence so much that he’s legit jumping at the first opportunity to go out in the blaze of glory if it even has a chance to be helpful to other people, and could only be stopped by his dad's Zhongli’s intervention and all off his new friend group going “we’re would be really sad if you died”

Then he’s like “ok i’ll keep on living i guess :\”

(i’m still so salty that they didn’t let Itto talk at all, his story quest speech about sacrifice being an easy and cowardly way out to discard responsibility that doesn’t fix root problems fits Xiao’s situation SO WELL argh) 

Yeah no, all other yakshas talked about wanting peace and his own namecard describes dreaming of peace and donning the mask to dance instead of killing, but yakshas are inherently bloodthirsty species, so there’s no hope for him, that checks out, sure.  

So to summarize, despite how direct Xiao seems at first glance, interacting with him is actually a complex navigation between things he says out loud that he knows are not true, things he says that he can’t admit to himself are not true due to self-loathing, and just general tsundere bullshit. You’ll need a LOT of patience.

Like, does he want to be accepted and loved? Desperately. Will he accept someone trying to do so straightforwardly? Absolutely the fuck not. 

If you try to straight up compliment him, he’d be like “L+ratio+you foolish mortal + You think a killer who devoured countless souls can be cute? + you have bad taste actually + that's disrespectful to the ways of the adepti”

Echoing being unable to voice his desires, Xiao can only accept warmth in indirect, stolen moments, half-glances, throwaway remarks, because connection feels too fragile to be named directly. And remember, spoken wishes never come true

The rituals are *very* intricate

You’re not just walking on eggshells around him, the eggshells are aggressively throwing themselves under your feet and biting at your ankle to make you crush them, so he can be like “see? I don’t deserve love anyway, i was right to hate myself”  

like one comedy article said, “It’s good if a man is skittish and terrified of affection, like a beautiful horse that appears on the edge of a frozen lake one day and you have to tame it by bringing it a handful of food every day until it slowly comes to learn your scent (but with sex)”

That’s Xiao in a nutshell, but you’re bringing seeds to a bird-feeder and the bird has chronic pain and is scared to hurt you

Here’s the thing though. You’ll know he’s yours when he starts showing interest in your perspective on everyday things. He’s curious by nature, but never lets himself wonder, unless he’s sure beyond the doubt that his participation is wanted. 

“Xiao: I have no intention of getting close to the lives of mortals.

 Xiao: But I know that you often enter and leave the city, walking amidst the crowd.

 Xiao: The stories of these times, or their joys... If I don't experience such things myself, it'll be hard to understand your thoughts.

So... you're doing this for me?

 Xiao: Yes, to understand you.

 Xiao: I had a feeling that it would be difficult, but after having such thoughts, I can't simply sit back and do nothing.”

He’s inquisitive and quick thinking, but very socially awkward and prone to hiding his true desires. So even before asking you to include him, he starts scouting your dreams.

It’s nothing invasive like devouring dreams or dragging projections into the real world. Just catching brief, fleeting glimpses,carefully pressed against the soap bubble of your dream. Even in short flashes, it helps to see things from your point of view.

…and sometimes, rarely, he catches images of how you see him, so bewilderingly different from what he’s used to, not the corruption-ridden creature with ugly lines of the fanged mask etched onto his face and blood staining his hands, but instead…

Sharp turn of his head when you call out his name, and the sun illuminates him from behind, brilliant halo shining through the messy dark hair, and he can’t even recognize himself in this memory, golden-eyed and gorgeous, so he bundles up this vision, hides it deep inside among other unattainable, undeserved, unspoken wishes. 

It’s self-indulgent, a bit pathetic for the adeptus, but ultimately harmless, like a weakness for the almond tofu. A spark of sweetness to get him through the misery of his everyday life.

Until one night he catches a dream where you’re fucking him.

It throws him off balance so hard, he flees immediately, not just from the dreamspace, but teleporting to an isolated mountain peak.

But the image is seared into his retinas nonetheless.

It’s because he’s offended, he tries to tell himself. How extremely disrespectful. As if an adeptus like himself, who has no interest in the foolishness of mortal desires, would want to be sprawled under you, dizzy with pleasure, held and kissed and caressed, like he’s the most beautiful and wanted thing in the world, like touching him brings joy, like…

He has to teleport again, but it doesn’t help. Horrified, he realizes he’s aroused.

It’s a tough couple of weeks for the both of you.

He’s even more sullen and jumpy than normally, and when you ask him if everything’s okay and if there’s anything you can do to help, he gets a panicked look of a deer in headlights and vanishes.

You decide it’s probably some yaksha angst and it’s better to give him some space

You don’t remember your dream, and even if you did, you wouldn’t think much of it.

He can’t stop thinking about it. It resurfaces, uncalled, in the most inopportune moments, no matter how hard he tries to push it down. The obscene view of himself, arms over the head, parted lips, back arched and legs spread wide with you between them. 

He didn’t stay long enough to catch more, but even this is enough to drive him up the walls, sometimes literally, to make him want something he can’t properly name. He was used to tolerating the constant gnawing pain of the corruption, but this needy ache is maddening, fading and reappearing when least expected to throw him off kilter.

He alternates from watching over your dreams intently to being unable to even glance at them, but on the nights when he does look, there’s nothing similar.

Which is good. It means you were not serious about it, it was just a fluke. Minds of mortals are notoriously fickle, especially in the dream state, and can produce all sorts of ridiculous fantasies and ideas that mean nothing.

Of course it meant nothing, who would seriously see a weapon for eons steeped in blood and corruption as a lover?  What pleasure could you expect from someone whose very nature and purpose is slaughter? It could only lead to disappointment. Repulsion, even. It’d be preposterous to even think about it.

Which is why it’s outrageous that he *is* still thinking about it.

But now it’s been a few weeks and the pulsing want dulled down, lost a terrifying thrill of possibility of being reciprocated, and is almost ready to become another weak, shameful yearning, bottled up and shoved into a dark corner. 

And then his heart jumps into his throat when he sees you dreaming of Wangshu Inn’s balcony drowned in moonlight, and he’s in your arms as you’re sitting by one of tables, he’s straddling your thighs, your mouth and hands wandering over his naked chest and collarbones.

The half-drowsed ember of desire roars back in thrice the force, and feverishly, he thinks of an idea. What if he took place of his own image? Then he could learn what it feels like. He could finally stop wondering what would happen and just get over this maddening sickness. And you won’t even notice the switch. You’ll probably end up unsatisfied because he would not be able to give you the pleasure you expected, but it’s all a fleeting, momentary dream for you anyway, not worthy of remembering in the morning.

He spent centuries hunting dreams, but never tried to become a part of them, so he doesn’t realize a simple truth: a dream cannot be entered without being shared equally.

The first thing that changes in your dream when he becomes a part of it is actually the sky, but you don’t notice it because the responsive, pliant body in your arms suddenly becomes woodenly tense. At the same time, your awareness deepens, dream becoming almost lucid, as you gain control over yourself, but not surroundings. 

What confuses you even more is a barrage of strange emotions coming down at you out of nowhere: anxiety on the verge of panic, fearful anticipation, needy, smoldering fervor of desire. 

You look up at Xiao’s face to see him looking almost severe if not for the heavy blush and refusal to meet your eyes, breath held nervously, and realize in an instant - this is actually him, not the figment of your imagination, it’s his thoughts and emotions you can now glimpse like he usually does with others when dreamwalking.  

And also, that if you even try to acknowledge this, he’ll bolt to the other end of the world, so you don’t say anything.

It’s tempting to claim his mouth, but he’s too petrified, his jaw clenched tightly. Instead, you trail the line of kisses down his throat and feel the sharp pang of his relief at supposedly not being discovered. 

You caress him slowly, carefully, moving tenderly over his arched neck, sharp curves of the collarbones, chest that rises fast and feverishly in shaky breathes, taste nervous flare of his pulse in the deliciously delicate hollow of his throat, until the warm pleasure spreads under his skin, melts frozen rigidness into a different kind of tension, a taut bowstring, drawn tightly, trembling at every touch. 

When you nuzzle at the underside of his jaw, he moves his head abruptly and presses his mouth against yours, tense because he wants this so badly, but doesn’t know what to do with himself, an awkward angle and all teeth. But you take your time, slide your fingers into his hair and tilt his head, kiss his lips until he finally relaxes and opens up. When you slide your tongue against his, he makes the tiniest noise, barely audible tremble caught in his throat.

He was worried about how inexperienced he is, but when he’s too lost in the kiss, desire takes care of this easily. Without realizing, he’s arching in your arms, grinding against your legs. When you slide your hands lower, over his stomach, hips, stroke his thighs, he moans into your mouth and opens his knees wider, thrusts against you, already hard.

You slide your hand into his pants and close your fingers over his cock and he shudders, breaks the kiss, realizing what you are doing, what he was doing, how easily he’s losing control, his wild yellow eyes wide and uncertain.

“It’s okay,” you tell him softly. “Everything is going to be okay. Let me take care of you, baby.”

He catches your affection, shared through the dream, and the narrow vertical slits in his eyes widen, blackness flaring up against gold. With a short, shuddering draw of the breath, he relents, leans into you to nuzzle at your cheek. You can feel his blush heating up against your skin, flutter of the eyelashes. 

You start stroking his cock slowly, holding him with your other arm, whisper sweet reasurings into his ears, understanding how hard it is for him to show vulnerability, even under the supposed disguise. 

His hips start moving again, now in rhythm with your hand, and you quicken the pace. Suddenly, you realize he’s naked except for the gloves, because the dream lets things happen easier, removes inconveniences, requiring nothing but mutual intent. You can’t help but smirk, press a wet kiss to the side of his jaw and twist your hand over the head of his cock. He lets out a stifled gasp, his tip throbs and starts leaking in your palm. He lifts his arms as if to grasp at your shoulders, but stops before he can touch you, lets them drop. 

But you notice that something is wrong with his hands - the gloves are a part of him, darkness etched painfully into his flesh, and instead of the slender fingers you know he actually has, his hands end in ugly sharp claws, covered in splotches of dried blood. Your heart breaks a little when you realize this is how he sees himself, this is what he thinks his touch would feel like. But you cannot argue directly, can’t say that it’s not true without breaking a fragile silence between you, acknowledging that it’s actually him.  

So instead you catch his chin in your free hand. “Hey, look at me.”

He meets your eyes, his own hazy, feverish with need, but he looks at you intensely. “You are so good,” you tell him quietly, holding his gaze even as his eyes widen, your hand over his cock moving faster and faster. “You are so beautiful, baby. I wouldn’t want anyone else in the world here instead of you.” 

He cries out, sharp and surprised, almost pained with helplessness, like a hawk shot in the air midflight, and comes undone. When he unravels in your arms, his old, half-forgotten, buried dreams spill out too. 

So when he falls back, tugging you with him, he lands not on wooden planks of Wangshu Inn’s balcony, but on the soft cover of tangled lush grass. Tall green stalks meet over your head, as if trying to protect, hide a secret from the world.

A strange word from the ancient, dead language surfaces in your mind, a word that meant “sea of wind” - a name of vast grasslands that once covered these plains, endless green waves that rolled under the breeze from horizon to horizon. 

His body is pale under you, dappled in moonlight that manages to get through the hover of softly wavering grass. Flickering light of the fireflies, green and lemony-yellow, doesn’t illuminate anything, but only makes the dark emerald shadows deeper in-between the narrow stalks where they move. But his golden eyes are very bright, still quietly shocked, searching, never leaving your face like he’s afraid you’ll vanish if he looks away.  

You smile, lean down to catch his mouth, and he kisses you with abandon, still awkward, but with sweetness that neither you nor him knew he was capable of. The air smells faintly of warm earth, fresh grass and bittersweet Qingxin flowers. The moments stretch for eternity like only dreams allow for, full moon halting in the dark starry skies above. 

He wants more, but he doesn’t know how to ask for it, doesn’t have the words. But in this state of bewildered, warm haziness, drunk of both lust and certainty of your desire, his shame evaporates. He remembers the first dream he saw, the image that haunted him for weeks, and recreates it - arms thrown over head, arched back and spread legs.

Except he looks infinitely better, countless details that the fantasy could not account for, - breathless, tangled in green shadows and silver moonlight, lithe and wiry-muscled, heavy flush of his cheeks contrasted to the eager, glowing gold eyes, arm flexing under tattoo as he clutches at the grass to keep himself still, subtle tremble of his open thighs, hard, pulsing cock, leaking on the tense stomach, already stained with cum.

In the waking world, you’d spend considerable time preparing him, given how inexperienced and sensitive he is. Even without that consideration, another time you’d want to go teasingly slowly, make him writhe on your fingers, plead for mercy.

But right now, in these stolen moonlit moments it feels too ugent, too desperate, and the fever of a dream lets you skip the steps, sweep right into sliding into him. This time he arches under you not for show, silent gasp and widened eyes.

You pause, letting him adjust to the feeling of your cock inside of him, ravish him with kisses in the meanwhile, feel him squirm, overwhelmed and gratified by both sensations and your hunger for him. When he finally bucks his hips against you, you start moving, first carefully, then turning to the hard, firm pace, and it runs through him, echoes in choked grunts and feverish drum of the heart. The dream bends to this steady beat, light of the fireflies pulsing in tact, and somehow he’s both on the grass beneath you and rising up, in the same rhythm, sharp cyclical thrusts upwards.

Suddenly, sky spills all around you, the lights of stars mingling with the fireflies in between the narrow grass stalks, and golden wings of the wind that takes you upward beat in the rhythm of your movement. The sky around you is too vast and sharp, the depth and freedom you’ve never seen before, and you realize this is what it feels like to taste the joy of a creature born to soar.

He’s too lost in the pleasure, looking up at you, the sky opening up for him with every thrust, every lunge. He can’t remember the last time when he took flight just for the joy of it, when he looked up instead of down to track the enemies and come crashing in a flurry of broken spears. All these centuries of being sure he was made for violence, and suddenly it sheds off him like dust, all this time thinking he can only feel alive during battle, and now his body sings so easily, so naturally, and it sings of wind and starlight, not of rage and blood. 

When he reaches the peak of the ascent, time slows down for a weightless, breathless moment, a precipice after which he usually turns flight into a controlled, violent plunge. Instead, with a quiet, helpless moan, he closes his eyes and lets himself fall.

Stars burn under his eyelids, ancient, forgotten constellations flaring up, mixing with the current ones, until it’s impossible to tell them apart, entangled like your bodies in the soft grass that was destroyed centuries ago, a new celestial atlas that exists only for the two of you.

Even as he curls against you after, soft and sweet, you can feel bitter, ashen current staining the dream: he thinks this is the only time he gets to feel happy. And in the moment, it seems absolutely ludicrous to keep the pretense of not knowing that it’s him and let him wallow in his angst.

“Xiao,” you tell him quietly, gently stroking sharp knobs of his spine, “it’s okay. You can be mine. The world is not going to end.”

He freezes for a second, his eyes going wide in panic, and then vanishes abruptly. Dream shatters into a thousand shards, and you wake up with a gasp.

You give him a few days to process and then, on the moonlit Wangshu’s balcony after all the guests have left, you quietly call his name.

He appears on the other side of the balcony, arms crossed, looking sullen and severe, which could look intimidating if you didn’t know him and if not for a little detail.

“You don’t have to stand that far, I can still see that you’re blushing.”

 He scowls. “What do you want?”

“I thought we should talk about what happened.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. It was foolish. For both of us.”

“Talk for yourself.”

“No, it was extremely foolish for you too,” he says with sudden, agitated passion. “You knew what I am, I’ve told you from the start to keep your distance. I’ve never asked you to… I’ve warned you to treat me as a weapon, and…”

“Oh, don’t give me that crap again! I’ve tasted your sky. I know the violence is not your only nature.”

He chokes on his breath, looks away, then says quietly.

“It may not be, but it is the only thing I’m proficient with. So what does it matter what was once my nature? There are many others, more suitable for you to…”

“Well, that’s not for you to decide. You don’t get to tell me who I want. You can only choose for yourself.”

He glances at you very quickly and looks away again with a quiet “Hmph,” but you can tell how torn and unsure of what to do he is.

“Xiao,” you say softly, reaching out to him. “Come here.”

He looks at you for a long moment and then vanishes. You curse under your breath and flop down on a chair in frustration. But then suddenly the air smells sharply of ozone and in a flurry of teal and black, Xiao appears on top of you.

He looks incredibly irritated and refuses to meet your eyes, but he’s straddling you, so you grin and grip his hips. His hand instinctively moves to cover yours, but he stops himself before he can touch you. This time you don’t have to pretend you don’t notice.

You catch his hand and gently pull off the tight-fitting black glove. He finally looks at you, surprised. 

“What are you doing?”

“Hm?” you fake innocence, because two can play the ‘not acknowledging true subtext of the actions’ game. “I don’t know what your plans were when you landed on top of me, but sex generally requires undressing.”

He frowns in confusion, then freezes when you bring his hand to your mouth. His pale fingers are long and bony, and you hold his gaze while pointedly kissing each angular knuckle. It only fully hits him when you turn his hand and press your lips to his scarred palm, then move them down to the tender skin of his wrist.

He doesn’t say anything, but his narrow pupils widen in an instant, and when you kiss him, you can feel his hands slowly, hesitantly sliding over your shoulders.

[ulquiorrapleasecallmetrash]

Sosuke Aizen With A Famous Singer S/o

Ayeee nice to see you again! And no, THANK YOU for that request! It was so fun so write and I laughed so much. 😂 Also you can send in multiple requests I don't mind. I don't really get a lot of requests sadly. Only 1 request a week. 2 if I am lucky. I just love to write afterall. Either way here ya go! This will be modern AU as well!

------

-He is pretty impressed by how talented you are.

- Loves hearing you sing as well.

-I canon Modern AU! Sosuke Aizen being a famous CEO of a huge company or something.

-Watches your music videos secretly when Gin, Tousen and any of the espadas- I mean employees aren't around.

- Goes to your concerts all the time when he has free time.

-hums your songs all the time randomly.

-Sometimes he will help you with lyrics to your songs as well.

-Loves appearing in your music videos. (like P!nk and her husband in the rockstar music videos.)

-I canon Sosuke not being a bad singer as well.

-so that means  you convinced him to sing in a duet at Least ONE time. 

-the song ended up getting 10+ millions of views and was a huge single.

-loves it when you reference him in your songs.

-Always plays your song in the background of his huge office.

-And in the meetings he is definitely playing those in the background as well.

-Gin noticed he only plays your songs and mentioned it to him.

-"So... You've been playing a wholeeeee lot of s/o lately. "

-Aizen will look amused, "Really? Is that A problem Ichimaru?"

-"Oh no sir. Just making an observation. "

-His favorite music videos to make an appearance in are the sultry ones.

-A perfect example is Whore by In This Moment. Chris Motionless looked so FINE in that video. Imagine Sosuke in that bunny mask in that video making sexy, aroused faces, OOOOOOOOO. Might put a gif in here as a reference.

-Hell yeah! Watch that video if you never have!

-That video got 10+ million views and again another HUGE single. 

-All the girls are fangirling over Sosuke BTW.

-The media loves you guys relationship. 

-BEST RED CARPET PICTURES.

-overall I give this relationship an A+++. 💙

-----

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!❤❤❤

[99adelheid99]

cool so since I’m procrastinating anyways on my school work im just going to write a character study on beast! dazai

because I re read it and im sad and asagiri just loves to make everyone suffer

so spoilers for the beast au

((BTW IM SO SORRY TUMBLR MOBILE ISN’T LETTING ME CUT THE POST TO A READ MORE SO IM GOING TO TRY TO DO IT ON MY PC AND HOPE IT WORKS IF IT DOESNT IM SO SORRY;;;; ))

asagiri has already decided to make dazai a tragic character and break our hearts once, but he decided to also rip them out and spit on it.

in the canon world, we see dazai struggle through depression. ever since he was young he found there was no value in living as he says to mori in the fifteen arc. he tries throughout his life desperately to understand just why humans strive to live, why they fight so hard for their lives and work hard to live life to the fullest.

it’s no different in the many other worlds The Book had created, and that lonely hole in his chest is probably much bigger.

as explained by dazai in the light novel, the power of The Book does not effect him because of his ability, since The Book itself is an ability, dazai naturally cancels it out. because of this, dazai can practically “read his own memories” from the canon world. so he knows everything that happens in the original universe, that goes for every single dazai in every single au. every single one.

this in itself is probably one of the saddest things. if people not understanding dazai didn’t hurt enough in the canon world, imagine how horrible it is that the beast! dazai had suffer with this knowledge alone, because as mentioned, it’s not wise for a lot of people to know about The Book since the world they reside in will become unstable, and have a chance of disappearing.

at the end of the light novel we also learn of dazai’s plan. why he captured gin, and why he wanted to bring akutagawa and atsushi together.

it was for odasaku.

because dazai has the memories from his “original” self, he remember odasaku. he remembers how he died, he remembers that they were best friends, he remembers how odasaku was the only person who understood dazai to his core, he remember how much odasaku means to him.

but odasaku of this world doesn’t remember it at all. because to him it never happened. there is only the beast world and the beast world alone.

this is where the angst hits (harder lol)

dazai figures out (at some time idk when) that this is the only universe that odasaku survives (im not sure how exactly, im assuming he can read the memories of the other dazais? Idk)

he remembers odasakus passionate of becoming a writer, he remembers odasakus determination not to kill just so he could write his own novel.

and because I really do believe dazai has a heart shrouded in all that darkness, dazai wants the best for odasaku, dazai wants to make it so odasaku can continue to survive and write his novel.

so dazai being dazai makes this extremely elaborate extra ass plan to make sure it happens.

dazai knows that this world has a chance of disappearing since every time something is written down in The Book in any other au (I think? I believe it can be any one of them not just the canon one) The Book doesn’t create it out of nothing exactly, but borrows from other worlds to create what is written in the book to reality.

dazai’s afraid that this world might cease to exist, and if it does odasaku won’t get to write his novel in this only universe he survives in, odasaku won’t he happy and dazai doesnt want that.

now extra ass osamu here uses a lot of cruel tactics to get to his end goal, and it isn’t right at all, but I still have to sympathize because its just so painful lmao

during akutagawa and atsushi’s final battle, dazai goes to the lupin bar where he meets odasaku for the first time in this world. I feel like dazai fought with himself a lot not to visit odasaku during this time, probably wanting to do nothing else but to run to his old friend that he missed so damn much. and I think he couldnt resist in the end, I think he desperately wanted to see him one last time because from the very beginning he knew his own fate.

one of the many (lol) things that hurts me during this meeting is how dazai immediately jumps happily into conversation with odasaku when he sees him, how he invites him quickly to sit down with him (in which odasaku does but doesn’t sit right next to him, which seemingly hurts dazai, ouch my heart) and how he picks up conversation that dazai would normally have with odasaku in the real world, asking him if anything interesting happened to him that day or telling him about new suicide methods he tried, which leaves odasaku heavily confused as he kind of awkwardly replies to each question.

now because the pov during this scene is in oda’s, we don’t get know exactly what dazai is thinking, but oda describes his posture and reactions well for us to take a guess of how hard it is for dazai to not have probably the most important person in his life not know or care about him.

dazai tightening his grip around his glass, or dazai looking like a happy child in one second to trying to compose his emotion with a small smile in the next, these reactions happen when odasaku keeps bringing up how he doesn’t know dazai and how confused he is. and dazai trying to hold onto something, someone, who made him so happy. trying to ignore the pain he feels and grasp on to the good memories he has but odasaku doesn’t.

and then there’s the part in the bar that asagiri decided to write because he’s a writer and like all authors, lowkey likes to see his audience suffer.

when dazai calls oda by his nickname odasaku once again trying to get him to understand him, the man replies:

“Don’t call me Odasaku. There is no reason of an enemy to call me that.”

yeah I cried

I cried a lot

dazai’s reaction didn’t help either.

The young man suddenly seemed to have trouble breathing…He fought against something invisible.

in this world, dazai probably mastered concealing his emotions (he does in like every world, but he’s much more grim in this one so) he put up this wall and put on a mask for everyone but odasaku, he let his wall down and odasaku didn’t acknowledge it, didn’t bring him some sort of comfort like he did in the canon universe. not intentionally of course, not because odasaku was cruel, but odasaku didn’t know dazai as anything else but his enemy. for all he knows, dazai could be trying to manipulate him.

theyre enemies. they could never be friends in this world. but dazai seems to still try, even a little.

in the end, they part ways. dazai putting on that mask once again, and acting like this whole meeting didn’t just destroy him. because it would be worth it in the end, odasaku would live, be happy, write his novel.

dazai would suffer, but that’s okay. odasaku hates dazai, but that’s okay.

because odasaku is alive. odasaku is happy. and to dazai that’s enough.

we get to the ending that no one wants to read because we’re already in pain and we know asagiri is waiting there with a shotgun to deliver the final blow.

dazai arrives after akutagawa and atsushi’s fight to reveal his reasoning behind his plan. how atsushi and aku have to work together protect The Book to make sure this world doesn’t disappear just for oda, and he mentions how no more then two people can know about the existence of The Book also for the protection and stability of their world.

atsushi decides to so some quick maths then, and realizes in horror that dazai has slowly made his way to the edge of the building.

he pleads with dazai to not do it, but theres obviously no stopping him.

and in that moment I believe for the first time in a long time dazai is truly content.

the hatred towards him is heavy, but it doesn’t matter to dazai because odasaku is safe. he completed his mission.

dazai planned all of this from the very beginning up to his death. now, arguably, despite dazai’s heartwarming end goal he was still an awful person. he was abusive and manipulate. he hurt and killed others to get what he wanted. he was not a good person

but he suffered so much for the sake of one person, he knew his ending wasn’t going to happy, but the end goal was enough. the end goal made it worth it.

osamu could never tell anyone about his pain, not even his best friend. he had to instead put on the mask of the cruel boss of the port mafia. people either had to hate him or fear him. no one could ever love him, no one could ever care for him. and osamu knew that. from the very beginning. asagiri truly wrote a tragic but beautiful character.

now if you’ll excuse me im going to go cry :)))

[fanmoose12]

Hello. I really appreciate your fanfic works and would it be alright to request a tragedy/angst “Hotarubi no Mori e” AU of Levi (taking the place of Hotaru) and Hange (taking the place of Gin) if you’ve happen to watch it? :))

so i’ve never watched this movie, decided to watch it after your prompt and??? this was so damn heartbreaking, i’ve loved it and cried for like half an hour after watching it???

so thanks for your prompt and for recomending this movie!!! i hope my story isn’t so sad btw

anyways, enjoy!!!!

Levi cursed when he realized that he walked by the same tree for the fourth time. He lifted his head and sighed deeply, screaming internally.

Stupid Kenny!

This whole idiotic situation was completely Kenny’s fault. If he was a good uncle or at least a responsible adult, he’d come and pick his nephew from the train station.

But no, he was too busy to do that, and Levi had to walk through the dense forest to get to his uncle’s house.

And now he was lost!

Levi growled and kicked the nearest tree, imagining it was Kenny. Stupid Kenny, and stupid forest, and stupid him for getting lost.

Levi kicked the tree again, harder this time. He raised his leg to do it one more time, when suddenly he heard a voice from up above.

“Oi, what did that tree do to you?”

Levi lifted his head to look for the source of the voice and found… somebody, or maybe something, he wasn’t really sure. It looked like a person, talked like a person, but instead of a face there was some weird mask.

“Go away.” Levi grumbled, crossing hands on his chest and glaring at the person on a tree. He was already pissed off, and he wouldn’t let some masked weirdo bother him.

In the meanwhile, the strange figure jumped off a tree and landed in front of Levi, crouching beside him.

“Are you lost?” the person asked, and Levi fleetingly thought that voice resembled a girl’s. Although it was much deeper than the voices of girls Levi knew.

“Do you know the way out?”

The girl laughed. “I do!” she said way too cheerfully. “C’mon, follow me, and I’ll lead you out.”

Levi nodded, deciding that he really needed help. Even if that help came from a weirdo in a mask. Still, a help from some weirdo was much better than roaming the woods until he starves to death.

“Thank you.” Levi muttered awkwardly and quietly.

The girl smiled down at him, getting to her feet. And Levi realized that she was probably much older than him, as she was almost twice Levi’s height.

“Before we start,” the girl began, as she was looking for something in her pocket. “I’ve got to warn you: you can’t touch me, under no circumstances. Alright?”

Levi huffed. “As if I was going to.”

“I just needed to warn you,” the girl shrugged and then took a long white cloth out of her pocket. She passed one end of it to Levi. “Wrap it around your wrist,” she instructed, doing the same on her own hand. “So we won’t get separated.”

Levi found her request a little weird, but, well, the girl was very weird, and he really wanted to get out of this forest, so he complied, wrapping the cloth tightly around his hand.

The girl looked down on their hands, joined by a white fabric, and started to giggle.

“We look just like a couple on a date!”

Levi raised his eyebrow. “Aren’t you a little old for me?”

“Or maybe it’s you who are too young for me,” the girl chuckled.

And then they started walking, the girl leading the way slowly, but confidently.

She hummed quietly as they made their way through the thick forest, but surprisingly it didn’t irritate Levi at all. On the contrary, he felt relaxed and soothed by her singing.

As they walked side by side, Levi couldn’t help but wonder just who his mysterious savior was. Was she just a girl, who liked to hang out in the woods and wear stupid masks? Or was she living there? Suddenly, Kenny’s tales about ghosts and spirits, which inhabited this forest, came to Levi’s mind.

Kenny told him this story a thousand times, a story of how he accidentally happened upon supernatural festivities, but he did not realize it, because all spirits looked like real people.

Levi shook his head, trying to get rid of such foolish thoughts. Obliviously, she was just a girl and not some supernatural creature. Levi felt ashamed of even thinking about such nonsense.

Maybe he was a rather impressionable child, but he wasn’t a little boy anymore. This winter he would turn nine years old and it was time for him to grow up.

So deeply engrossed in his thoughts, Levi didn’t even notice when the girl led him out to the clearing.

When he finally came to his senses, Levi’s eyes widened slightly, as he took in the scenery around him.

From on top of the hill they’ve been standing on, he could see the whole town below, and if he squinted, he could even see his uncle’s house.

“Thank you,” Levi said again, turning to face the girl.

“It’s nothing,” she waved him off. “But I do want something in return.”

Levi tensed and narrowed his eyes at her. “And what is it?”                   `

“Your name.”

Levi scoffed, but decided to obey her request. She kind of saved his life, after all. “It’s Levi.”

“Nice to meet you, Levi!” the girl giggled. “I’m Hange.”

“I don’t care,” he answered, but before he could turn away and go home, Levi wanted to ask her another thing. “Aren’t you going down with me?”

“What for?” Hange asked, honestly surprised. “I live here, in the forest.”

Levi widened his eyes. Was she actually serious? He looked closely at her, but he could see nothing behind her mask. However, her voice was devoid of the mirth, which was there before. So was she really living in the forest?

“Well, I need to go,” Hange started to turn around. “You can return this thing to me some other time.” She said, pointing to the cloth, still wrapped around Levi’s wrist.

Damnit, he didn’t even see her taking it off.

“What makes you think I will ever step a foot in this stupid forest?” Levi called after her.

“Ah, then leave it as a souvenir, I guess. From your mysterious forest friend. See you, Levi!” Hange finished and started walking away.

Levi watched her until her figure disappeared between the trees.

Then he scoffed, turning around and going his way.

What a damn weirdo he had met today.

                                                                  ***

The next day, Levi woke up to the sounds of his uncle’s friends making some kind of a ruckus downstairs. Sighing and getting dressed, he decided to go for a walk.

Levi hated those disgusting pigs Kenny called friends. They were loud, they were dirty and stinky and they usually came to Kenny with one goal – to get drunk.

As he walked through the town, Levi couldn’t help but remember yesterday’s encounter. And as he thought about the strange girl in a mask named Hange and wondered what she did in that forest, his legs involuntarily carried him on top of a hill.

Levi cursed himself, when he realized he was standing right in front of an entrance to the forest.

“I knew you would come!” Levi heard the cheerful voice, and soon Hange emerged from between the trees.

Levi huffed, turning his face away to hide his embarrassment. “It was unintentional.”

“Well whatever the case,” Hange eagerly clasped her hands together. “Would you like to go for a walk?”

Levi studied her masked face for a while, contemplating his answer. There wasn’t really a choice – it was rather enter the forest with a weird, but probably innocent and friendly girl, or spend his day, cooped up in his room, trying to ignore the vulgar jokes and boisterous laughter from Kenny and his friends.

“Only if you show me a way back here.” Levi said finally.

“That’s a deal then!”

Hange turned around and started leading the way, Levi following after her.

“So you live here with your parents?” Levi asked as they entered the forest.

“Huh? Well, I do have a family, but that’s probably not what you expect.”

Levi stared at her in confusion. She gave him a rather cryptic reply. “And just what do you mean by that?”

Hange turned around to face him. Levi wished he could see what expression she made behind that mask.

“Levi, you know what I am, right?” Hange asked carefully.

Levi looked at Hange’s strange mask and then remembered her words about not touching her.

“You are not just a girl?”

Hange laughed softly, shaking her head. “I am not. I am a spirit, who lives in this forest.”

“So when you said that I couldn’t touch you…”

“I will die, if a human ever touches me. Well, die is probably a wrong word for it, because technically I’ve been dead for a very long time and-“

“Hange.” Levi stopped her. “I got it, stop rambling.”

“Oh, alright,” Hange scratched her head, cocking her head to the side and studying Levi. “Aren’t you scared?”

“Why should I? You don’t look like you’re going to hurt me.”

“That’s right, I’m not.” Hange confirmed rather seriously.

They continued to stroll through the forest quietly after that, the silence around them interrupted only by Hange’s voice as she pointed something interesting to Levi every now and then.

Soon they came to a small bridge, and Levi stopped dead in his tracks when he saw a creature that was standing on the other side of it.

It was obviously some kind of spirit or a ghost, but it looked very different from Hange. Hange looked just like a human, while that thing resembled some kind of a black, slimy cloud. It had no eyes, but Levi felt that it was watching him. He felt a shiver down his spine, and Levi involuntarily took a step back, hiding behind Hange.

“Oi, you’re scaring him!” Hange shouted to that thing. “It’s Levi, he’s my new friend. He’s under my protection, so don’t hurt him!”

“Alright,” the creature said, and Levi closed his eyes at the sound of its voice. It was a horrible sound, which didn’t resemble a normal human voice. Instead the thing bellowed, his voice deep and gravy.

Levi would have pressed himself to Hange, but he remembered that he couldn’t touch her. So gathering all of his courage, Levi opened his eyes and stared at the scene in front of him.

“I won’t hurt him, but tell him he can’t touch you. You can’t do that, human boy,” the creature looked him straight in the eyes.

“I won’t.” Levi promised, willing his voice not to shake.

“Well, we’ll get going,” Hange waved at the creature, gesturing Levi to follow her.

“Don’t worry,” Hange told him, when they were a safe distance from that thing. “He won’t really hurt you, he just worries about me.”

“What was that creature? It looked nothing like you.”

“He is also a forest spirit. I looked like a human, because I’ve been born as one.” Hange looked straight ahead, and her voice lost its mirth and cheerfulness, becoming quiet and neutral. “When I was a child, I was abandoned by my parents. I would have died, if the forest spirits hadn’t saved me. That’s why they are so protective of me.” Hange chuckled at her last words.

Levi just nodded, not really knowing what to say. He had a lot of things to come to grips with after Hange’s story. For example, the fact that spirits and ghosts actually existed, and were not made up by his drunkard of an uncle, who just tried to scare his nephew.

However, the part of Hange’s story, where she was abandoned by her parents, didn’t surprise Levi. His father did the same to him, after all.

                                                              ***

Hange and Levi spend the whole day, exploring the forest, and only when the rays of sunshine were starting to fade, did Hange tell him that he needed to go home.

The forest at night was a dangerous place for a human, she said. And his parents were probably worried about him.

Levi wanted to scoff at the last part. His uncle probably didn’t even notice that he was gone. But his mother could call and ask about him, and she would get worried if Levi wasn’t at home. And Levi hated making his mother worried. She had enough on her hands as it was.

So Levi nodded, and Hange started to lead him to the clearing.

“I’ll come back tomorrow,” Levi said when they were standing on top of the already familiar hill. He purposefully hid his face away from Hange, embarrassed by his own desire to see her again. “If that’s alright with you, of course.”

“Sure!” Hange exclaimed, cheerful as always. “I’ll be waiting for your return.”

“A-alright then,” Levi replied, feeling even more awkward now. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

And then he went home, and the next day he was again standing at the entrance of the forest, and Hange was once again waiting for him in the shadow of a big tree.

And that’s how Levi became friends with a forest spirit named Hange. He spent his every day in the woods, coming in the early morning and going back home when the sun was already setting behind the horizon.

It was never boring with Hange, she always came up with new ways to entertain Levi – they explored the forest, they picked berries, they fished in the forest lake, they climbed the highest trees or they just sat in a shadow, hiding from the sun and talking about everything and nothing. Well, usually Hange was the one, who talked, but she didn’t mind Levi’s silence.

Being friends with Hange was easy, even though Levi had never had friends before. Other kids found him weird, they thought his always scowling face was scary and they didn’t like that he almost never smiled or laughed.

But with Hange, everything was different. She talked for the both of them, and she didn’t need to see his smile or hear his laugh to know that he was enjoying himself and her company.

                                                              ***

Levi was nearly devastated, when at the end of summer his mother came to take him back home. He asked her to wait for half an hour and then rushed to the forest, desperate to see Hange one last time.

He found her at the entrance of the forest, as always. She greeted him with a wave of her hand, as always.

However, she tensed when she saw the troubled expression on Levi’s face.

“Is everything alright?” she asked, unusually serious.

“I’m going home,” Levi breathed out. “I… I wouldn’t be able to come here anymore.”

“So this is a goodbye?”

“No.” Levi replied fiercely. “I’ll come back. Next summer, I’ll return.”

“Alright,” Hange said, but Levi heard that her voice was still sad. She didn’t believe him.

“I will return.” Levi pressed. “And then you’ll show me a million different things. Okay?”

Hange chuckled, her hand coming to scratch her head awkwardly. “Okay.”

“I… I need to go right now. But you’ll wait for me?”

“I’m not going anywhere, Levi,” Hange said in a gentle voice. “Just go already.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m going. But I will be back,” he replied, just to reassure Hange one more time. “See you next summer, Hange.”

“See you, Levi!” Hange said, and Levi let out a small smile, upon hearing that her usual cheerfulness has returned.

                                                                ***

Returning to his hometown and coming back to school, Levi felt utterly bored. He couldn’t wait for summer to come, so he could visit Hange again. He missed her voice, he missed her laugh, he even missed her stupid and weird mask.

Levi wondered if he always felt like that before he met Hange. Was everything so meaningless and pointless before or did he start to feel like this only after Hange showed him what a true life felt like?

Every time Levi wasn’t busy studying or helping his mother, his thoughts wondered to Hange. He wanted to know what she was doing right now, what interesting thing she managed to find that day, was the weather in the forest warm or cold, did she think of him and did she miss him just like he did?

And sometimes, while lying in his bed, unable to fall asleep, Levi wondered what Hange looked like. She had never taken off her mask in front of him, and Levi wanted to know what her face looked like. Did she look like any other girl, or was her face unhuman-like, showing her true nature?

Despite his desire to see what Hange was hiding behind that mask, Levi couldn’t bring himself to ask her about that. It felt too intrusive, too personal of a question to just outright ask her. But Levi was determined to see Hange’s face, when he would return to the forest next summer.

                                                              ***

Levi felt incredibly happy, when his mother announced that he will be visiting his uncle Kenny this summer as well.

Noticing Levi’s small smile and the unusually pleased expression on his face, his mother softly ruffled his inky curls.

“I see that you and uncle Kenny finally started to get along?”

Levi barely resisted from making a gaging sound at his mother’s words.

“Something like that,” he muttered, not wanting to upset his mother. “Mom, I’ll begin packing my things, yeah?”

“Of course, honey,” his mother smiled softly.

                                                               ***

After his train arrived at the needed station, Levi practically ran out of it and immediately rushed to the forest. He wanted to see Hange so badly!

However, he slowed his pace near the forest and tried to return his breathing back to normal. After all, he couldn’t let Hange know he missed her that much.

To Levi’s disappointment, Hange wasn’t waiting for him at their usual meeting place.

“Hange!” Levi shouted, hopping she would be able to hear him.

In the next second, Hange emerged from the forest. Since their last meeting, she didn’t change at all.

“Levi!” she shouted. “You came back!”

“Of course,” Levi scowled, crossing his hands on his chest. Did she really doubt him? “I promised I would.”

“And I’m so happy you did!” Hange clasped her hands. Then she cocked her head to the side, and Levi knew her eyes were studying him intently behind that mask. “Did you miss me?”

Levi felt his cheeks redden under Hange’s inquisitive stare. He turned his face away and scoffed. “I did not.”

“Oh my! You missed me so much! Levi, that’s so cute!”

“Shut it, Hange,” Levi growled, embarrassment making him feel like a fool. How Hange managed to read him so easily all the time? Was it her superpower as a forest spirit?

“I missed you, too,” Hange said, chuckling softly. She took a step towards Levi, her hand raised in an inviting gesture. “Shall we?”

“Let’s go already,” Levi muttered, coming to stand by her side.

They entered the forest together, and Levi hadn’t felt so happy ever since he said goodbye to Hange last summer.  

                                                              ***

And just like that, Hange was back in Levi’s life. It felt so easy and natural, as though Levi wasn’t absent for almost a year. They got along so well, as though they weren’t from two very different worlds.

But still, one thought lingered at the back of Levi’s mind. He wanted to see Hange’s face, but he couldn’t find enough courage to ask her.

And so, one sunny day, as they lay side by side on the warm and soft grass, close enough but not actually touching, Levi got an idea.

Hange seemed so relaxed, her breathing regular, and Levi concluded that she must have fallen asleep. He quietly and carefully rose and outstretched his hand towards Hange’s mask. He knew he couldn’t touch Hange, but she said nothing about her mask, right?

Levi’s hands slightly trembled while he was lifting the mask. However he successfully took it off and Hange didn’t seem to disappear in front of his eyes. Levi breathed out a sigh of relief, and then his eyes focused on Hange’s face.

And to his surprise… she looked completely normal. He expected to see something weird, but Hange’s eyes, nose and mouth looked just like any other girl’s. She wasn’t pretty like some girls in Levi’s school - her lips weren’t full, and her nose was too long, but Levi liked her face. It was Hange’s face, and Hange was his friend, his best and only friend, and to Levi her face looked more beautiful than the face of the prettiest girl in his school.

“Like what you see?” he suddenly heard Hange’s teasing voice, and Levi jumped back in surprise.

“I thought you were asleep!” Levi said accusingly.

“I was just resting my eyes,” Hange defended herself. She opened her eyes and sat, stretching her hands above her head.

Levi was lost the moment he looked into her eyes. They were brown, and warm, and so, so deep. Small creases appeared around them as Hange grinned at him.

Hange noticed his state, and she cocked her head to the side, looking at him curiously. Her brows furrowed in confusion, and she narrowed her eyes slightly. “Is everything alright?”

“Why do you wear that mask?” Levi asked instead.

Hange chuckled, as she scratched the back of her head. “I’m a forest spirit, but I look like a human, so I wear the mask to cover it.”

“You’re such a weirdo, Hange.” Levi deadpanned, making Hange laugh.

He watched with a small smile at the expression Hange made while laughing. She threw her head back, her eyes were closed, and her mouth was set in a grin.

Levi couldn’t look away.

Suddenly he remembered Hange could be withered away by a single human touch. A chill ran through Levi’s spine at the thought.

“Don’t touch me.” He blurted out. He didn’t mean to, but seeing Hange’s eyes at him, he looked back at her, staring deep into her beautiful eyes. “Don’t you ever touch me, Hange,” Levi pressed.

“A-alright!” Hange replied shakily, still staring at Levi in confusion.

“Do you promise me?”

“Levi, I don’t underst-“

“Promise me!” Levi raised his voice. His hands tightened into fists, and he squeezed them so hard, they began to tremble.

“Okay, okay!” Hange raised her hands into a placating gesture. “I promise that I will never touch you. Just calm down already.”

“I’m perfectly calm,” Levi argued.

“Alright, no touches, I got it.” Hange rose to her feet, putting her mask back on. “C’mon, I’ll show you a fox’s nest I found some time ago.”

And Levi followed after Hange, already missing the sight of her face.

                                                             ***

Summer came and went, and then came another one, and another. Levi grew and matured, and Hange remained the only constant in his life.

Every summer he would visit her, and no matter how much he changed, Hange still was his best friend.

Spending time with her was still his favorite thing in the world, and Levi still missed her every time he went home.

And in all those long years Levi had known her, Hange didn’t change a bit. She was the same as the day he had met her, when he got lost in the woods all those years ago.  

And even though, Levi had already grown up, and even though he already celebrated his sixteenth birthday, he was still shorter than Hange.

And that, of course, was an endless source of mischief and teasing for her.

But there was another consequence to Levi’s maturing.

In the school, seeing his pears dating, holding hands and kissing made Levi understand that he wanted the same thing. He wanted to find someone, who would hold his hand, hug his shoulders and softly kiss him on a cheek.

And as Levi was once returning home from school, one of the girls from his class decided to accompany him.

She had long blond hair and big green eyes with long eyelashes. Her lips were full and pink, her smile soft and gentle.

She was pretty, Levi thought. Very pretty.

But looking at her, he felt absolutely nothing.

Maybe, her hair was long and shiny, but Levi liked wild and messy brown curls. Maybe, her eyes were a beautiful shade of green that matched the leaves on a tree, but Levi preferred deep brown eyes, that were constantly shining with mischief and amusement. Maybe, her smile was pretty and delicate, but Levi enjoyed looking at the wide and slightly crazy grin.

As they walked home together, trudging through the snow, the girl came closer to him, taking his hand in hers.

And as she touched him, all Levi could think of was how it would feel to hold Hange’s hand. How it would feel to put his hands on her cheeks, while staring deeply in her eyes and admiring her smile.

Levi wanted to touch Hange’s hair to test if it really was as soft as it looked. And he wanted, desperately, to put his lips against hers and taste her gentle smile.

He wanted to see her so much, and he wondered, not for the first time this day, what was Hange up to right now. Was it also snowing in the forest? Was it just as cold there? Was Hange wearing the scarf, Levi had given her last summer? Was she feeling just as cold without Levi, as he was right now?

Levi thought that if Hange would ever put her hands around him, if she would touch him at least once, then he would never be cold again.

His heart started to beat faster, as Levi realized the truth. He was in love with Hange, and had probably been in love with her for a very long time. Maybe, he fell in love with her the moment he set his eyes on Hange, back when he was just a nine year old boy, who got lost in the woods.

Suddenly, the girl tugged slightly on his hand, and only then Levi remembered that she was still holding it in hers.

He untangled himself gently, but firmly, looking at the girl apologetically.

“I’m sorry…” he mumbled, staring at his feet. “But I don’t feel the same way you do.”

And then he turned around and headed home, his mind still reeling from the sudden revelation.

                                                           ***

When it was time to visit his uncle again, Levi felt uncharacteristically anxious. He didn’t know how to behave around Hange anymore: should he tell her about his feelings, or should he keep it a secret from her?

Whatever he decided to do, Levi knew his wish would never come to life. He would never get to kiss Hange, or hold her in his arms, or even touch her hand. The smallest of his touch would kill Hange, and Levi couldn’t, wouldn’t, let it happen.

When Levi arrived at the train station and headed to the forest, his heart was beating loudly in his chest and his hands were getting clammy.

He fixed his hair for the tenth time today, and then looked down on his clothes, making sure there was not a speck of dirt on it.

For the first time in years, he was actually worried to see Hange, afraid that his feelings would ruin the friendship they had.

However, all of his fears disappeared the moment he laid his eyes on Hange.

As always, she was waiting for him, and when she finally noticed his approach, she began waving her hands happily. And Levi didn’t need to see her face to know she was grinning at him.

He felt his own lips curve into a smile, as his heart was finally at peace, now that he was beside Hange once again.

                                                             ***

“Levi?” Hange called, while they were sitting on a tree branch, their legs swinging back and forth. “Are you busy tonight?”

Beside her, Levi scoffed. “Of course not, what I would be busy with? Why do you ask, though?”

“Well,” Hange faltered, fidgeting with her hands. “Tonight is the night of the forest festival. And I thought… maybe you would like to come? With me, I mean.”

“A forest festival?” Levi wondered aloud. He suddenly remembered the stories, his uncle used to tell him. So it was the truth, and not hallucinations of a drunkard? “Is it a festival for… spirits?”

“Yeah,” Hange nodded. “But it’s a special night. All spirits and ghosts are pretending to be human. They won’t even notice that you are not one of them. And even if they do, I will protect you. You don’t have to worry.”

“I do not worry,” Levi huffed. “I was just asking. Alright, I’ll sneak from the house tonight and come to this stupid festival.”

“Yay!” Hange threw her hands in the air. Levi wished he could see her smile right now, but Hange’s face was obscured by a mask. “I’ll be waiting for you on our usual spot?”

“Of course.”

                                                                ***

In the evening Levi came to their meeting spot. He was surprised to see Hange already waiting for him. She held a lantern in her hand and she was dressed in a bright yellow yukata.

“Oi, you look so handsome today,” Hange noted, smiling and nodding at his dark blue yukata.

Levi felt his cheek burn in embarrassment. “You look good too,” he muttered quietly.

Hange’s laughed delightfully at his awkward compliment.

Before they entered the forest, Levi took a white cloth out of his pocket. He outstretched one end of it to Hange, and he wrapped another one around his wrist.

“So we won’t be separated,” he told her.

“You kept it all those years?” Hange asked with wonder in her voice.

“Of course. It’s a souvenir from my mysterious forest friend.”

Hange said nothing, but Levi saw her looking at their joined hands. He wished he could see what her face looked right now, but Hange was wearing a mask, as always.

They entered the forest, walking side by side.

The quiet and calm atmosphere of the summer night was interrupted by Hange’s sudden fit of giggles.

“We look like a couple on a date!”

“We do.” Levi replied simply, making Hange gasp. She stopped and stared at him in bewilderment.

“When did you learn how to be so suave?” Hange asked, as she caught up with Levi.

Levi shrugged. “I grew up. It’s you who always stays the same.”

“I do.” Hange nodded, and Levi was surprised to hear some sadness in her voice. He wanted to ask her about it, but soon they reached the clearing, and Levi’s eyes widened as he took in all the bright colors and different sounds of the festival.

All around him were shining lanterns and people in colorful yukatas, Levi was surrounded by the sound of music and laughter. It all looked so normal, he saw not a spirit in sight. Everyone looked just like ordinary people - Levi saw children running around, adults, walking in pairs and holding hands, and elderly, sitting down and enjoying their tea as they wore warm smiles, watching the festivities.

“Come on!” Hange tugged on his arm, breaking Levi out of his daze. “There is so much we have to do!”

And Levi let himself be dragged, dutifully following after Hange as she jumped from one fun activity to another. They went goldfish scooping, gun-shooting, ring-tossing and senbonbiki, and Hange tasted a dozen of different dishes from the food stalls.

Levi was barely able to keep up with her, but still he enjoyed his evening, as Hange’s delighted laugh and her squeals of joy made him incredibly happy.

When Hange finally tired out, she offered to walk Levi home.

She was humming softly, while they were walking side by side through the dark forest. Strolling with Hange like that Levi was reminded of their first meeting.

A smile graced his lips, as he thought of how lucky he was to get lost that day.

Suddenly Hange stopped. She took off her mask and put it on Levi’s face. Before he could react in any way, Hange took a step closer to him and pressed her lips to the mask. She lingered there for a moment, and Levi’s hands trembled with desire to touch her, to cup her face in his palms and truly kiss her, with no obstacles in their way.  

“Keep it,” Hange nodded to the mask. She winked, grinning mischievously, before continuing. “It will be another souvenir from your forest friend.”

Levi froze, looking at Hange with helpless eyes. In that moment he knew that it was his last meeting with Hange. Somewhere deep in his soul Levi felt that he would never get to see his best friend or hear her laugh or listen to her stupid jokes.

He extended his hand, reaching for her. “Hange…” he called softly.

But before Levi could say anything else, a couple of kids ran past them. One of them stumbled and Hange caught him with her hand.

“Be careful!” she called after him, as the boy giggled and continued running after his friend.

And Levi watched with wide eyes as Hange’s hand, the hand that just touched the boy’s shoulder, began to disappear in a bright green light.

“That boy was probably not a spirit,” Hange laughed awkwardly.

And Levi still watched, unable to look away and shocked to do anything else. His heart beat wildly in his chest and Levi felt how tears slowly started to gather in the corners of his eyes.

“Levi, come here!” Hange urged him, widening her arms.

And Levi ran to her, almost knocking her down. He closed his hands around Hange, pressing her as close to him as he could.

“I love you, Hange,” he whispered frantically in her shoulder. He could feel Hange disappearing beneath his fingertips, but Levi held on tight, trying to memorize the feel of Hange’s soft skin and inhaling her faint scent.

“I love you, too,” Hange replied, laughing giddily. “I’m so happy that I can finally touch you!”

“I will always remember you,” Levi promised.

Hange nodded, the brilliant smile on her lips, and in the next moment she disappeared completely.

Levi continued to stare at the spot, where Hange stood. The tears flew freely from his eyes, and Levi’s heart was broken, shuttered in a million pieces, his soul already missing Hange.

But still, a smile began to appear on his face, as he recalled Hange’s last moments.

He was right after all, Hange’s touch did make him feel incredibly warm inside.

And staring at the night sky and the millions stars, that shone brightly, but weren’t nearly as blinding as Hange’s smile, Levi knew that even though he would always miss Hange, even though his heart would always belong to her, now that he had finally touched her, he would never feel cold again.

[yuuikida]

I read your RPG kunikidazai fics which are really good btw and thought came to mind “demon lord atsushi x hero chuuya” how do you think that would play out?

Why thank you! I’m glad that you love my RPG fics. Well, this might be a long one so *cracks knuckles*

I haven’t actually thought about Demon Lord!Atsushi and Hero!Chuuya but that is a good idea nonetheless. Let’s see. Hero!Chuuya is not like your average hero. No really, he’s not exactly the most graceful hero but he does get the job done even if it was brute force, he doesn’t really need a sword in some instance, just two fists and he’s good. He’s not a brainless guy though, he has some charisma and skill in fighting, he just has his own style.  His group consists of Gin (assassin, yeah not that original), Higuchi (fighter), and Akutagawa (dark mage that somehow can do some healing magic). They were stuck together for god knows how long but they learn to get along. By the holy priest that is named Mori ( don’t ask LMAO ), the group were to go around and fight demons that dare hurt people and destroy the land.  Atsushi...was an unusual being. He was the 108th generation of Demon Lords and his title was The Moonlight beast because of his transformation magic and his eyes. Though all demon lords are supposed to be intimidating and scary, Atsushi...isn’t. At most he can be very firm but thanks to accident years before that almost wiped his own race from existence, he tries not to get angry and be more respectable and wise for his people. How he and Chuuya met was by accident, at a festival in a nearby town. Atsushi in his disguise and Chuuya wanted some peace and quiet. Love blossoms but oh no, Atsushi had to go before late like Cinderella and Chuuya couldn’t keep up and lost him in the crowd. Didn’t even get anything than his name, shame. Akutagawa is like ‘alright, whatever’ to which Chuuya just screams.  Then the following morning, the group comes into the demon castle and they don’t see the demon lord, they just see some guy who fell over trying to put his mask on and oh no, it’s Atsushi and Chuuya is just mind blown. Akutagawa helpfully adds ‘So, when’s the demon lord coming’ And it goes on from there, idk. I wish I thought further on this but this is what I have on the spot. 

[killianmesmalls]

FINALLY!!! My con recap is... long. And I’m wordy. And it’s long. BUT IT’S HERE! Below the cut for anyone who is crazy enough to read it all. 

Friday:

By the time the weekend really got started, I had already had the chance to meet up with @lillpon Wednesday evening for a last-day-at-work happy hour and then again when she, @justmilah, and @fraddit came over to my place to hang out, watch Once, and put the totally last minute touches on my Tilly cosplay. (Also, BTW, yes I am using nicknames because 1) I figure it’s easier for people to follow along and 2) I don’t know how much some people want their real names to be attached to fellow crazies and sent into the ether.) We ended up venturing down to pick up the car from my father-in-law, and on the way found a meeting place for @queen-mabs-revenge to gather with us. Now, we couldn’t find her, kept checking to see where she might be, when LO, HERE COMETH A TINY ITALIAN IN A BIG MCFRIGGIN HAT. Yes, she was indeed sauntering down 8th Avenue in her Lt. Jones hat, which was probably the 18th weird thing most passing New Yorkers had seen in the two hours since they had woken up.

We then all tackle each other and me, @fraddit, @justmilah, and @queen-mabs-revenge continue on to meet my FIL for the car, where Mabs was super on board with helping him trek stuff from the trunk back to his apartment after seconds of meeting him. Such a polite. Without much ado, we make our way to the middle of friggin nowhere New Jersey, aided by the very comforting fact that Mabs navigates the way I need to be navigated to. Much thanks. Many appreciate. Wow.

Our first stop once we go around in circles a few times since driving in Whippany itself is a damn adventure was to meet up with @thesschesthair. While Mabs is confusing the front desk dude with her hat, Chesty over there gives us a call and I sneak out, lock eyes across the dingy parking lot of the Red Carpet Inn, by its derelict diner, and leap into her arms. She then comes over to attack Milah and Fraddit before properly grabbing Mabs so hard they were close to osmosis.

I’m not going to lie, it’s at this point through to Monday evening where things sort of blur. Mabs and Chesty requested rooms beside each other and GUESS WHAT. Yep, you guessed it, they had rooms that actually were connected by a door that was hidden behind Mabs’s oversized fridge. Oh! And there was a random toilet just hanging out outside their rooms. Because, why not? When Puh Pah has to go, he has to go. Also, it’s here that Mabs gives us all Alice-themed totes from Poundland (YES, LAUGH, IT’S GREAT) and then we do roundabouts again to get to the Marriott where the rest of us are staying.

Registration was a breeze, and then we collapse into the lounge area where we meet up with @theonceoverthinker and an already-registered Chesty, where she and I are off to the side making inappropriate jokes and then deciding it’s time to wine o’clock this con. Guys? The pub in the Marriott got some play by the Pirate Crew (thank you, @freifraufischer for dubbing us all as pirates), we tried their Poisoned Apple sangria, shot the shit, and then went about checking in and getting ourselves settled while at various points meeting up with @captregina, @lillpon, and @freifraufischer.

At some point (again because all is a blur) we went to Chris’s Q&A where I asked him a couple of questions and honestly blanked on most of the experience because OMFGITALKEDTOSMEE. Then Jared came on, was very much however you’d imagine Jared being, and I was still very much focused on Chris saying how much Smee would love Alice and knowing that Colin and Rose day was tomorrow.

Afterwards, we got autographs, where Mabs’s delightful totes came in handy and I had Gil, Chris, and Jared sign the back of the Alice tote. Gil was nice and I complimented Jared on how much him being open about anxiety meant to people, but it was Chris that, to me, was the MVP. He was incredibly personable, funny, and a total teddy bear. I asked him about the blooper he was in where it seemed like Smee was trying to convince Hook to not duel with Ahab (the one where Colin spat in his face) and Chris said he honestly forgot what was happening in that scene, but he would ask Colin. Still, the one thing he did remember was when he knelt down in front of Colin in the post-duel “Congratulations, Captain, you won!” scene, he split his pants. The camera was to his back, but his treasures were on full display in front of Colin.

I also asked Chris for a hug because, I mean, YOLO, and he obliged! Honestly, he’s a damn pumpkin and I adore him.

Now, there was karaoke night after this, but some of us were bad idea bears and decided to say “f--- this” and went into the pool with some sea salt gin Mabs had brought over. We’re super classy, guys.

...What happens at the pool, stays in the pool. :P

Saturday:

OMG COLIN AND ROSE DAY! COLIN AND ROSE DAY! COLIN AND ROSE DAY!

I was legit saying this and hopping up and down I don’t know how many times. I focused most of the morning trying to make sure I had myself together, getting my tights ripped just right, getting my hair done, venturing to @captregina’s room so I could do her hair (where I met @brave-lassie), doing her eyeliner, doing my makeup, meeting up with everyone, and trying to contain my feelings about COLIN AND ROSE DAY!!!

I missed most of the Wild Bunch Q&A in my efforts to get ready and in waiting for Rose’s photo ops. I lined up with Capt just by where the actors enter into the room they do the photo ops in and got my very first in-person look at Rose.

Guys.

GUYS.

That precious angel GLOWS. I cannot say enough how adorable and lovely she looks and is in person, but I will try my best. She’s insanely precious. Honestly, I was probably a walking hearteyes emoji. I try to keep my cool as I wait for her in line, where I’m set to get a picture with her than a shared picture with her and Capt, and the moment she sees me in my Tilly cosplay she exclaims, “NAILED IT!” Then, like a spastic idiot, I told her I couldn’t help myself since she’s my favorite, and she said, “You’re my favorite!” Bless her. She’s insanely personable and tilts her head to you, and is a personified cupcake.

After that, I brought Capt in for a shared picture with her, where we handed her my bunny mask and Rubik’s cube I had made with the help of Lill as we (plus Milah and Fraddit) had lounged on my couch Thursday night. She geeked out a bit over them, I asked her which one she wanted to hold, and she chose the Rubik’s cube, I held the mask, and Capt and I held a pillowcase she had gotten a while back that said, “We’re all mad here.”

Rapid fire they then did Colin and Chris photos followed by Colin and Rose, where all of us collectively lost our minds throughout. There are some pretty stellar ones people got with Colin and Chris, and then OMFG KNIGHTROOK.

Not going to lie, I kind of blanked on it a bit. I just remember saying “hi” to them both, taking a photo in the middle of them, and then ushering in PERFECT TACO HAT LT. JONES MCMABS in for the second photo, where I pulled a crazy face and she pulled that cheesy salute in that pic of him and Bernard.

Then was Rose’s Q&A, and as you can tell she’s still the embodiment of sunshine with a dash of silliness. I must have had a massive smile on my face the entire time in between bouts of laughter.

Before her panel ended, they called for Colin photos, which I needed to get to early because I had Rose’s meet and greet, but HELL NO WAS I MISSING ANY OF ROSE. Nope. So I stayed, then dashed out, and totally thought I’d be fine because…hey, I had already met and touched the man, how hard could this be?

BEING A NORMAL HUMAN AROUND HIM IS IMPOSSIBLE. I just hope I didn’t sound too much like an idiot when I said another hello and asked, “Do you mind if I give you a hug?”

Tired panda just opened his arms and we took a quick picture, and his face was SUPER CLOSE TO MINE and I didn’t know what to do with myself and suddenly that scruff was AGAINST MAH FACE. I think I entered a new plane of existence at some point but remembered I had feed and managed to use them to walk out and not completely venture to a new reality.

It was probably a good thing I didn’t have time to transcend to nirvana because ROSE’S MEET AND GREET WAS NEXT. It got off to a late start since Emilie was still in the room when we got up there, but I’d wait howmstever long for her.

SHE IS AN ANGEL. I mean, absolute, 100%, grade-A, undiluted angel. She makes an effort to engage with everyone and really make eye contact with you, speak to you for as much as she can, and is just naturally her sweet and funny self. She then took selfies with everyone, where I told her my name was “Carrie, like the movie” which is my default at Starbucks because then people know how to spell it. She fake scared and pretended like she was ducking her head and going to walk out, which we shared a laugh at before our picture.

I missed most of Karen David’s panel, but right afterward was COLIN!!! Tired panda did his best to wake up and be his silly, smartass self, bless his heart. I’m so glad he said he wished there were more to the KnightRook story because he feels like there’s more to explore with that and HARD AGREE, COL! Also massive, MASSIVE shoutout to Overthinker for her crazy awesome questions!!! You are indeed worthy of being his favorite!!! Also, props to @the-girl-in-the-band-tshirt for her original question about craft services. Dudes, the things we don’t think about!!! I need to try a grilled cheese with pickles now, that sounds AMAZING. OH! OH!!! AND HE DID THE WORM! AND SANG! How were we this #blessed?!?!

We then had a hot minute (or roughly 30) before KNIGHTROOK PANEL!!! Guys, those two and their dynamic will never not kill me. THOSE TWOOOOOOO!!!! HOW PERFECT ARE THEY?!?! I think their humor together is priceless and she’s like a damn coffee bean to him. It’s a good thing I like odd things because I CAN’T EVEN WITH THEM. (:smirk:) AS IF THAT WEREN’T ENOUGH he goes and kills us with his Millian answer and I see Mabs and Milah vibrating into the ether.

After that is almost immediately autographs, where they had us line up for Colin then head over to Rose. They tucked tired panda behind this black curtain, and Mabs, Capt, and I coordinated getting various things signed for us and others. When I told him something was for someone who had contributed to the Whitecaps charity, he replied, “Oh! Very good.” Then he got my spyglass and went all childishly curious, peeked inside the box, then raised his eyebrow and gave me a smirk.

Then it was off to see Rose, who was taking more time to talk to fans, which is understandable given the fact that Colin had a longer line and Rose also can’t seem to help herself. Chesty gave me her badge so I could get a second autograph, like a friggin champ, and I had Rose sign the spyglass and also had the title page of the manuscript I’ve written (I NEED TO FINISH EDITING IT) and told her it was a 1920s Alice in Wonderland retelling, and I thought having her sign it would be a good luck charm. She sounded super enthusiastic about it and wrote a long note for me on it, which I will for sure cherish forever!!!

OH! And on my way to get into the Rose line, I hear someone say my name and LO AND BEHOLD, IT’S @leiandcharles!!! HUZZAH!!! I probably sounded like a spaz because I was on a Colin and Rose high and was all over the place but she pretended to not be terrified of the insanity that was me… ANYWAY!

It was then time for dinner. With the pub PACKED TO THE GILLS, especially after there was a bomb scare at a nearby hotel so the people there had to come over to ours for a bit, a group of us went up to Capt’s room to hang out and get pizza. I’m probably going to blank on everyone that was in that room, but I do remember dragging Leia there, meeting @coaldustcanary, Overthinker kicking over my drink and being roasted about it by Chesty (still makes me giggle!), and generally being a nuisance with Capt, Mabs, and Milah while Fraddit, and Lill went off to introduce Chesty to Chipotle. It has since changed her life.

At some point we declare we should hang out at the pub again, and a group of us went to go shoot the shit until Mabs passed out right there in the booth (CALLIN’ YOU OUT, POPS!) and everyone was sufficiently either toasted or tired. Some of us then venture up to my room, and shenanigans ensued. THUS ENDETH COLIN AND ROSE DAY!

Sunday:

While I was sad this seemed like a less crazy day for us, I was also a bit relieved because hot DAMN was I tired after the day before. Still, we didn’t have much time to really collect ourselves because the Mills fam gold panel started at 10, so a group of us wandered down to breakfast.

We then get in to see Andrew, Lana, and Bex, where Lana and Bex were of course hysterical together, Andy looked cute, and you could feel the collective vibrating of all Regina and Zelena fans which was adorable. I mean, I love Regina, but there was some LOVE in that room from her Evil Regals. I do wish Andy had gotten a bit more attention or had been a bit more vocal, but it’s got to be hard to not just let Lana and Bex own the stage.

There was then a decent break before Bex’s panel. That woman, as you all likely know, is HYSTERICAL. She kept the room laughing through most of her panel, and you can see she has nothing but love for her fans and her costars.

After her panel, I don’t have anything I’m too fussed about until 2 (MILAH WAS ROBBED IN THAT VID CONTEST, BTW, JUST SAYING) and so some of us gather together for lunch in, you guessed it, the hotel pub! Dudes, our options were limited and it looked like a library and had loaded potato soup. What more do you want?

It’s then time to MEET LANA, where me, Mabs, and Capt try to strategically settle ourselves somewhere out of the way but close enough to the side door to get a good look at the queen as she walks in. And, DAMN, that woman is gorgeous! Me and Capt then leap into the line where she proceeds to get two very adorable photos done and then I get pulled in to get hugged by Lana (!!!!!!!!!) while Capt hugs her from the back. She was super sweet and patient the whole time with everyone, and you could really see how much she loves spending time with her fans.

We then decide some of us need shots because some of us (*cough* Capt *cough*) are about to pass out from being so near Her Majesty’s presence, and then we wander into the ballroom for Henry Squared’s panel. Andy was adorable, Jared was typical Jared. I’ll be honest, I don’t have anything from that panel that seems to stick out to me as a solid memory, though maybe that was the whiskey shot’s fault.

Then comes Lana’s panel and, once again, you can feel the energy of the Evil Regals in the room. For however silly Colin, Rose, and KnightRook panels are, HOLY DAMN Lana panels are just filled with all sorts of emotions! It was like a damn rollercoaster! I laughed, I teared up, I was generally all over the place. SO MANY FEELINGS, GUYS. It was delightful but also made me just desperately need to laugh about fart jokes with my fellow Colin heathens. WE DON’T KNOW EMOTIONS.

Sadly during the following break, it is time to say farewell to the spun sugar that is Lillpon. I console myself knowing I’ll see her again, but it’s depressingly others’ last time with her, but ONLY FOR NOW. Yes? Yes.

Next up is autos with Andrew and then Lana. Andrew was a sweetheart. I was standing next to Capt and Mabs, where we proceeded to tell him how great we thought he was in season 7 and how much that season and his performance in it meant to us and brought back some love for the show. He seemed genuinely touched and said it meant a lot to him to hear that. Bless that boy.

We then wait a bit for me, Capt, Mabs, and Milah to venture up for Lana’s autos. By the time we got to her, we had this whole strategic thing planned out where I’d bring up S7 Hooked Queen, Capt gets her Hooked Queen picture signed, and Mabs gets the word for Capt’s tattoo. Lana says she did expect when they started that she thought Hook and Regina were going to be a thing but alas. Oh! And Mabs tells her that they’ve got family from the same area of Sicily, where Lana proceeds to say they do kinda look alike, and it is now confirmed #fam.

With everything over, we head once again to, YOU GUESSED IT AGAIN, the hotel pub. Chesty and Fraddit have already settled in and eaten, and me, Mabs, Capt, Overthinker, and Milah get ourselves all ordered up where we both mourn the end of the weekend and still buzz from the high the last three days had given us. A series of more shenanigans ensues, and none of us are ready for the weekend to be over. I’m pretty sure we collectively tried to drag it out for as long as possible.

For one last hurrah, we then venture to the pool again and meet up with @reginamotherfuckingmills and @agntreginaskywalker, where we all debrief and collectively laugh about the weekend, in addition to getting all into our feels about how Swan Queen fans and Hook fans are being all chill and friendly with each other. WHO KNEW PEOPLE COULD HUMAN?!

It was a fantastic end to the weekend, and there were more days ahead that involved ridiculous conversations in the car (Thicc Lady and Pointy Boi! Is this Central Park?! etc), meeting Mabs’s ENTIRE FAMILY, hearing Chesty lose her mind several times, enjoying super Long Island experiences with them, Milah, Overthinker, and Fraddit, and so on. Some of us also went sailing on a tall boat later, where we hoisted the main sail and felt like proper pirates! Then there was just general hanging out, but I won’t bore you further with that.

Instead, I’ll bore you with shoutouts!

@lillpon DESCUSTANG!!! You’re such a damn delight. Both sharing a bed and hoisting the main sail with you was brilliant and I love you forever. YOU MET COLIN!!!

@queen-mabs-revenge What are words? I have none. And if I started I’d probably turn into a mess so FARTS BELLY PT CRUISER POINTY BOI FARTS! I’ll probably emotion at some point and send it to you in private and then go run off to watch bloopers or something to get back to some sort of state of normal.

@fraddit SEVEN?! WHAT’S IN THE BOX?! Resting judge face or no, you’re fantastic, I love you, and you’re forever welcome in my apartment! Or basically anywhere with me.

@thesschesthair You funny asshole, I don’t know what I would have done without you to be there to say jokes as foul as mine. You were such a good sport about me being an annoying shit. I’m keeping my fingers and toes crossed we can celebrate your birthday with a Captain Charming shindig!!!

@justmilah You’re so sweet and so funny and just damn precious. I LOVED going to the American Girls store, traipsing around Rockefeller Center, exploring actual Central Park, getting Millian and Knightrook feels in the AMNH, and wasting time at Johnny Utah’s with you. You’re always welcome!!!

@captregina Mah darling! I’m so glad and relieved that you had a good experience! You earned it, and I’m excited to talk about it over brunch with you.

@theonceoverthinker YOU FAVORITE PHD GENIUS! Stellar questions from a stellar person. It was amazing to hang out with you and we should do it again soon!!!

@the-girl-in-the-band-tshirt You’re a precious angel and it was delightful to meet you! I’m so glad you felt welcomed into the fold. But, of course you were! You’re wonderful!

@brave-lassie From one “mom” to another, thanks! Also, you’re a sweetheart and YOU MAKE AN AMAZING RED!!!

@leiandcharles @freifraufischer @coaldustcanary @reginamotherfuckingmills and @agntreginaskywalker IT WAS LOVELY TO MEET YOU ALL! And thank you for being so patient and awesome with some of the shenanigans.

[dikcijakontra]

1. yes

2. nature (cringe) but i love a lot of artists (writers, musicians, painters, designers...etc)

3. hard rock, metal, indie rock, lo-fi...

4. yes

5. 101% single

6. dark green

7. extraterrestrial

8. piano, flute, drums and a bit of guitar

9. black, dark green and burgundy

10. no, my name is pretty short

11. night-blooming cereus

12. creative thinking, intelligence, empathy, vulnerability, ability to understand things they might have not been through, kindness...

13. one male yorkie

14. yes, loved it every single time

15. english, serbian, slovak, german and wish i could speak french

16. axl rose (in his 20s - 1980s)

17. only when i read or use my computer, because i see better in the distance

18. not sure actually, maybe the one with cherry jam

19. can't pick one, both

20. dark and cool-toned

21. whatsapp and tumblr

22. straight, kinda jealous of bi people

23. no

24. autumn morning mist, tomato leaves and caramel

25. i want to see the whole united kingdom, norway, the netherlands, denmark, russia, france...

26. right now: suspiria (2018) but i also LOVE the king (2019), dead poets society, call me by your name (i love luca guadagnino so so much)... and many more

27. saoirse ronan and jennifer lawrence

28. one exquisite and deep soul

29. writer and/or actress

30. yes

31. so many, gandhi as one of them, also cornelia grimsmo, oprah winfrey... etc. you can learn everything by just experiencing the nature, it can provide all the knowledge you need to thrive

32. i support equality

33. libra sun, scorpio rising, taurus moon, virgo venus, capricorn mars (mentioned only aspects that affect me a lot)

34. yes, very much. writing, as well

35. psychology and organisation

36. ooh, yes

37. my books, crystals and journals

38. thalassophobia

39. yes

40. yes

41. only basic ear piercings (one in each ear) and 0 tattoos

42. yes

43. neither

44. dog person 101%

45. dolphins, horses and dogs

46. yes, it's very simple. i only use a cleanser, day moisturiser, night moisturiser, tonic and salicylic acid once a day and a face mask once a week

47. on a break: midnight - 7am; during university/school: 10 or 11pm - 5am

48. museum tours in vienna

49. 163cm // 5'4"

50. life (idc of it's cringey or not, i truly mean it)

51. no, i live in a flat/apartment

52. not a big fan

53. hazel brown

54. peanut butter/chocolate orange and cider/coffee/green tea/gin&tonic

55. i want to have two kids, one mine, one adopted

56. english and history of art

57. black

58. to any era before-christ of a super-smart civilisation

59. pale white

60. kisses

61. yes

62. yes, but nothing major and i don't do them anymore. it wasn't anything serious or dangerous btw...

63. it depends

64. neither, i don't like summer nor cold foods/beverages

65. flowers all the day

some asks 🌿

• 1. have you ever been in love?

• 2. who is your favorite artist?

• 3. what is your favorite music genre?

• 4. have you ever had a penpal?

• 5. are you single or in a relationship?

• 6. what color are your eyes?

• 7. what is your favorite word?

• 8. do you play any instruments?

• 9. what is your favorite color?

• 10. do you have any nicknames?

• 11. what is your favorite flower?

• 12. what qualities do you find attractive in a person?

• 13. do you have any pets?

• 14. have you ever traveled outside of your home country?

• 15. what language(s) do you speak?

• 16. who was your first crush?

• 17. do you wear glasses?

• 18. what is your favorite pastry?

• 19. do you prefer swimming in a pool or in the ocean?

• 20. bright, dark, or pastel colors?

• 21. what is your favorite social media app?

• 22. what is your sexuality?

• 23. do you have any siblings?

• 24. what is your favorite scent?

• 25. where do you want to travel to?

• 26. what is your favorite film?

• 27. who do people say you look like? (celebrity/family member)

• 28. who is your best friend?

• 29. what is your dream job?

• 30. do you know how to drive?

• 31. who is/was your favorite teacher?

• 32. are you a feminist?

• 33. what is your zodiac sign?

• 34. do you enjoy reading?

• 35. do you have any hidden talents?

• 36. have you ever dyed your hair?

• 37. what is your favorite thing in your bedroom?

• 38. what is your biggest fear?

• 39. can you whistle?

• 40. do you make your bed every day?

• 41. do you have any tattoos and/or piercings?

• 42. have you ever been on a roller coaster?

• 43. surfing or skateboarding?

• 44. are you a dog or a cat person?

• 45. what is your favorite animal?

• 46. do you have a skincare routine?

• 47. what time do you typically go to bed at and what time do you wake up at?

• 48. what is your favorite memory?

• 49. how tall are you?

• 50. what is the best gift you’ve ever received?

• 51. do you have a garden?

• 52. do you like bugs?

• 53. what is your natural hair color?

• 54. what is your favorite food and drink?

• 55. do you want kids?

• 56. what is/was your favorite class?

• 57. what color shirt are you wearing?

• 58. if you could time travel, what year would you go to and why?

• 59. what is your skin color?

• 60. hugs or kisses?

• 61. have you ever drank alcohol?

• 62. have you ever done drugs?

• 63. netflix or youtube?

• 64. ice cream or frozen yogurt?

• 65. succulents or flowers?

[rustdream]

Fanfic Generator, Commentary by Camelia.

[Formal Camelia] Littlebigplanet three: Franz Mesm VS. Newton Pud. off to a good start already.

It was a darj and snowy night. Fran Mesm had been bored, so bored, you wooldn’t bleve it. She had been there together in the room with  and . Normally they could perfectly entertain each other, but not this time. And to make matters worse, it was almost impossible to go to town. It was too snowy, too dark.

[Annoyed Camelia] Spelleng errors GOD.

“Urgh,” said , “I wish Newton Pud would attack. At least we’d have something to do.” agreed, “I agree,” she said and started throwing mobile phone at the wall, just to catch it again when it bounced off. “Uuuurgh,” she then said as well, because she agreed with , “Don’t you know anything to do, Fran Mesm?”

[Camelia] Whats with all the blanks? Are we supposed to have sidekicks? 

Fran Mesm’s gaze went down the room, past teddy Bear and a stack of g-strings. Then Her eye fell onto a lone empty bottle  they had used the evening before.

I know,” said Fran Mesm, “How about we play...............spin...the....BOTTLE!”

“What a superb idea” “Oh year!” and  also peaked up “Yeaaaah!”

[Camelia Laughing] Oh god why? WHY?

So they all sad down and Fran Mesm took the bottle first. Hilariously, it landed on , but Fran Mesm thought  was quite a bit too creepy and really didn't want to kiss the man. She hoped the others might have mistook it for landing on , but judging the howls of laughter and the rising anticrepation in the room, they probably didn't.

[Camelia] Don't. Just don't.

"But but dont you all see it really landed on ?" "Laaawl no, u shuld kiss ," said . The fact that she said it made Fran Mesm feel rejected :(  

But then, all the sudden.... Newton Pud attacked! --- Meanwhile, Fran Mesms mind was wondered back to the past. It was S holy communion party, which everyone was invited too. The party was awesome as always, because  was hosting it.

[Laughing Camelia] What the actual fuck? Did it go from a formal spelling error to a teenage slang?

Fran Mesm was pretty drunk that day. If Fran Mesm was honest, She couldn't remember much that happened. Only something about a staff of power,a rabbi and a traffic cone.

There was one thing that stuck in Her mind though. Something She would never forget. Newton Pud. Newton Pud was wearing a  mask that night

Everyone had come as something or someone else.

[Camelia] Here comes to cringe~ Lets all cringe~

Everyone had come as something or someone else.

WAS DRESSed as . WAS DRESSed as . WAS DRESSed as Fran Mesm. Fran Mesm was dressed as Newton Pud. And Newton Pud was dressed as a phaser.

Fran Mesm was instantly attracted to Newton Pud in Her costume. The way She moved. The way She talked.The way She flicked Her hair. Newton Pud was doing a Karaoke number. It was "500 miles". And She was awesome. She sung like a true seductor.The audience was miasmarised by Newton Pud.

[Shocked Camelia] NEWTON IS A GIRL IN THIS!? I THOUGHT WE SAID HE WAS A GUY!

Fran Mesm got up and sang too. When Newton Pud was singing 500 miles it was like the words spoke to Her. Newton Pud seemed to be addressing each word of the song just to Her. The room faded away and it was just the two of them. No one else in the world. They gazed into eachother eyes as Newton Pud spoke the last lyric. Then silence.

Suddenly, Fran Mesm was woken out of the flashback by the present

[Calm Camelia] At least this one's good-

AUTHORS NOTE: I HAVE SKIPED THE JORNEY BIT, BECAUSE IT WOULD BE BOREING..NO AUTHOR WRITES STORYS ABOUT TRAVELING! *yawn*! ' "We are almost there. " said Fran Mesm as they arrived near there journeys end.' "Arhhhhhhhhhhhh" said  as he fall down a cliff. "Nooooo....." "There there, it will be ok" "No..This is something...you cannot ease" "Why?" "You dont have boobs!" "oh"

"Don't worry, I feel better." What happened next was soo cool you will like it a lot, basically, it went like this:

Only it was even cooler because i didnt have to write it! When it was in my head the words didnt get in the way. btw, Excuse me if i skip the words occasionally, its to save me time. Ok, after they finished with the gin they went to the base where the final battle started when they got there. Dont worry! The bad guy dies!

[Camelia] WHY THE FUCK DOES THE AUTHOR SKIP THE GOOD STUFF! WHYYYYYYYYYY!?

The next time they saw eachother Newton Pud winked at Fran Mesm, remembering what happened at the party.Fran Mesm blushed. Some of the others giggled. Did they know? Fran Mesm didn't care. ---- Now, how to find him? We know she has a castle, but theres so many!"

Fran Mesm said: "I have worked it out. Remember the secret note? Its a code to tell us the address! Look, see I solved it. The solution was very clever, and it all made sense. "Wow, I could have never worked that out, well done" "Yes, well done indeed"

So they went to the base. As they entered there was lots of Robots. So they swung back their trenchcoats and murdercided them all with their concealed ak-74s of awesome(but no one died!). . "Lets take the ventalation shaft!" "Thats a good plan, so we can sneak to the roof undetected" So they got into the ventilation shaft.  

 They traveled upto the roof, ver the ducks, thus avoiding the security systems because they are smart. We are here, said Fran Mesm crawling out the duck, and putting her shirt on. --- Fran Mesm had some time before he had to do anything, so She decided to have another flashback.

It was just after the Karaoke. They had stepped of the stage to loud applause and were now looking at eachother. "Hi" Fran Mesm said, meekly. "Hay" Newton Pud said, also meekly. Their confidence from moments ago had evaporated like alcohol. "Do you want too..." "maybe.." "ok then." So they walked to the cloakroom. It wasn't long before their lips were together. Fran Mesm couldn't remember who made the first move. She did remember the taste though. The taste of Newton Pud. Newton Pud tasted like apricot on a spring noon. Refreshing and salty but also a bit sour. What had they been eating? Fran Mesm tried to work out it. It took much tung work. After a few minutes mouth to mouth pot holing, Newton Pud guessed what Fran Mesm was doing. "I had pineapple for lunch." "oh" "you dont have to stop though" "oh. Good!" Fran Mesm said, with great relief. They finally drew away after what seemed a whole august but was only mere minutes. The taste of Newton Pud's lips  still lingered in Fran Mesm's mouth as they finally looked upon each other with new eyes. Relieved sighs came from both of them as both embraced, Newton Pud snuggling against Fran Mesm's neck as he snuggled upto Newton Pud's torso.

(lots of hugging happened after this).

. They had a lot of..."fun".

"Sorry about that, I got a little carried away" said Fran Mesm. "Thats ok I.....enjoyed it." said Newton Pud blushing in the way they always did. "Tomorrow?" "Yes" said Newton Pud. "I'll bring some of my toys next time for us to play with" said Fran Mesm.

And with that they left the cloakroom and returned to the party. The months that followed were fun but they never told their friends.

--- "So you have come" said a voice booming from the sky A eagle appeared above them. Newton Pud laughed at them from it. "Ha Ha Ha Ha" "I could gun you all down from here with my mace, but I would rather do this...personal style." she leaped down and landed at the far side of the rooftop "Ready?" she said, still laughing.

. Fran Mesm removed her shirt and flexed her abs. "Yes. I am ready. " With that they leaped at eachother, metaphorical guns blazzing (which were littoral machettes). "I kill you dead" Newton Pud head butted Fran Mesm in the chest

Fran Mesm fell backwards in pain punching a few times before crashing to the ground. "Ha Ha Ha Ha" laughed Newton Pud "You could never have defeated me, so why did you even try?" "I had too, for all that is good and just in the world." "Well now you will die. Goodbye." Newton Pud leaned over Fran Mesm holding a large rock.

"Quick Fran Mesm use this!" said Riverview ,chucking a nearby DVDcase towards Fran Mesm. Fran Mesm grabbed it and chucked it towards Newton Pud hard, knocking her backwards....off the edge of the tall bungalow they were on! "Goodbye, Newton Pud have a nice fall!" "ARrrrrgggg"

"We are safe now, she fell to certain doom." and  got out from the bush where they were cuddleing. "Thank you, you saved us all" "Dont mention it."

So they left the tower and went home. They lived happily ever after and had lots of kids. The End

[Camelia] WHY....THIS HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH LBP3!

More CRINGE coming soon!

[uraharashouten]

ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSE SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPPING WORKS ON YOUR BLOG.

REPOST. don’t reblog. TAGGED BY :: @flashkitty​, @nonviiolent​ [[ awww thanks guys! <3 }] TAGGING :: Dang almost everyone I play with has done this one so???

01. WHAT’S YOUR OTP FOR YOUR MUSE? ::

UraYoru (surprise, surprise!)

02. WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO RP WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING? Honestly anything. There are no limits, really. Crack and angst are my favorite genres. I’m willing to write fluff but it’s a struggle. I’m not kidding; it’s the hardest genre for me and I feel like I run out of ideas quickly. D:  I might even try horror if someone wants to (let Kisuke creep you out, or try to freak him out, lol). But there’s only one person in the world I will write smut with and you guys will never see most of it.

03. HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?::

I’m assuming this question pertains to romantic/sexual ships, because canonically Kisuke is basically a dad to Ururu and Jinta and a mentor to a lot of other young people, and I love those kinds of familial or mentor relationships. Age gaps don’t matter in those relationships. Romantically I’m shipping exclusively with @flashkitty​ and Kisuke and Yoruichi are basically the same age so this question doesn’t come up. Having said that, in the past he’s dated women thousands of years older so I obviously don’t really care that much as long as everyone’s a consenting adult! :D

04. ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING? ::

I’m going to say yes, even when it comes to platonic ships, because there has to be chemistry. Sometimes it’s natural and blooms quickly; sometimes it takes awhile. Kisuke’s a private person who doesn’t open up easily. And there are some muses he’s just not going to click with.

05. HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY’RE CONSIDERED NSFW? ::

Once mouth or hands start touching some part of the body normally covered by underwear, with intent to arouse, I’m going to tag it nsfw.  I guess this means you’re safe if you’re just hanging out in the clothing-optional basement hotspring, or playing a game of drunken naked Twister. Which… is probably canon, tbh.  (And now you’re sorry you asked.)

06. WHO ARE OTHER MUSES YOU SHIP YOUR MUSE WITH? ::

My Kisuke’s main squeeze is @flashkitty’s Yoruichi.  She is the love of his life and one smokin’ hot mama. And she is literally the only person in the universe that really understands him. I mean, how’d a nerd like him get so lucky?

But he’s got a lot of platonic relationships. Just off the top of my head, employees/shop assistants MechaGodzilla (@deus-ex-machiina) and Skylar (@hello-hellhound), flower and herb supplier Adelha (@adelha-mathilde), pals Tess (@mckaytriarchy), Kyoren (@lightconsumesall), Nel (@nyota-sungura) and Arashi (@ashipfullofmisfits), mentees Ichigo (@kurosakiichigochouhonnnin, @blackcuttingmoon) and Rukia ( @sncwwhitequeen , @lucxns), special ward Whitey (@moechorr), old friend Ryuuken (@xyuuken), new potential friend Gin ( @ichimaru-gin ), antagonistic demon spawn frenemies @thedemonsnake and @reapersofknowledge. And there are more so I’m super-sorry if I’m leaving someone out!

I do have a wishlist, though. I’d like more (or any) interactions with Hiyori, Shinji, Isshin, Kuukaku, Mayuri, Akon, and Shunsui (and I love how you portray him, @nonviiolent!). That last one is particularly interesting to me because I see a LOT of similarities between Kisuke and Shunsui, and I imagine Kisuke being a lot more like Shunsui in another thousand years.  And also, as a guilty pleasure, more snarky Askin interactions. Wiggling brows at @reapersofknowledge and @levaarik.

07. DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU? ::

If it affects my headcanons about him in any way, yes. This especially means if you want to assume a prior relationship, like old Academy lab partner or something like that (which would be awesome btw). Also, my HC is that he’s an only child and never had any natural children of his own before the one currently on the way with Yoruichi, so I would prefer not to be blindsided by long-lost parents, siblings or children.  If you would like to RP a pre-existing relationship, be it old school chum, previous colleague, present employee, distant cousin or whatever, please definitely talk to me about it first. Otherwise, I’m a huge fan of development and chemistry and like to watch things unfold organically.

08. HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP? ::

What does this even mean? No man is an island. We are all in relationship to someone else (with the possible exception of Aizen) and that’s life.

09. ARE YOU MULTISHIP? ::

Platonically, yes. Romantically, no.

10. ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS? ::

I don’t need romance all the time, if that’s what this question’s asking. And I really don’t need fluff much. I like drama, adventure, comedy… which can all take place in the context of a relationship.

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM? ::

UraYoru. <3  I mean I hate to say it but as much of a trainwreck as the Bleach ending was, I never even cared that much who Ichigo or Rukia ended up with, tbh.

12. FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU? ::

Well, just, you know, hang around, send me asks, try to start things, and if they stick and we both have inspiration to build on them, great! But I’m not going to force it, and my muse is selective and time and inspiration limited. And do bear in mind that while Urahara Kisuke seems like a really friendly guy and everyone’s favorite uncle, seems is the key word, because he’s really an introvert and it takes a lot more to connect with the man behind the mask.

[playstationplayer]

'FUTURE' album review

Attention - this post is long as shit so scroll down if you not intrigued. alright so this is my first time doing a review and I wanted it to be future because it just came out and it would be a good introduction to me doing reviews. I was inspired to do album reviews because of big ghost and his hilarious album reviews (that you should definitely check out btw, the IANAHB 2 review is my favorite) but anyways lets get to it. Feel free to ask or comment any albums that you would want me to do or if you want to help review. So my boy future was hot as a motherfucka like a year ago you couldn't go anywhere without hearing this nigga but after subpar releases like purple reign and project et it left niggas like me wondering would he ever come back with that heat so I was excited to listen to the album so lets get to it. It's better if you're listening to the album while reading. 1. Rent Money - "ya babymama fuck me better when the rent due, I just fucked a rapper bitch I should diss you" my nigga started the album with that gutter shit. This a cool little track tho, it bumps but it's nothing special to me. 2. Good Dope - THIS IS MY SHIT MY NIGGA. It's a hard ass song (to me). I really like the flow on hear and how it goes with the beat. "fuck me just don't kiss me" is a real ain't shit nigga line and I like it lol. 3. Zoom - it's bumpin a little bit forreal but not as much as the first 2 tracks. it's really iight as hell nothing to brag about 4. Draco - when I first heard this song I fucking hated it, but it ended up getting stuck in my head and I fucking love it now. I normally don't like these bubble gum pop type beats but future made it work on this one. Great song 5. Supper Trapper - I thought the song was gonna be good because the title but that's not the case at all. it's catching that skip button immediately 6. POA - now this is hype music. makes me want to smack the shit outta someone grandma. My nigga said he needs the power of attorney on the hook like what the fuck are you talking about my guy but the track so fiya flame I don't care lol. 7. Mask Off - the best overall song on the project. Beat is so soulful and future flows perfectly on it. Never thought I would like a song where the hook is just Molly Percocets, but hear I am bumping hard as shit. 8. High Demand - I like to play this song when I just got out the shower lol. It's a good little track forreal makes you kinda feel like ric flair for a minute. 9. Outta Time - this track caught the big fuck outta here 10. Scrape - I mean if you like hearing skrt skrt skrt skrt the whole song it might be for you but it's catching that big skip 11. I'm so groovy - another track I thought was gonna be hard because of the title. It's not a bad track tho I like it. He says mhmmmmmmm alot and that shit be having me laughing because how it sounds with his voice. 12. Might as well - different type of track from the others a little more personal. I like when future does tracks like this. great track to me got my mans talking about how child support getting heavy on him and how he was selling crack when snoop dropped gin and juice. 13. Poppin Tags - nah I ain't feeling this at all 14. Massage in my Room - this track fucking BUMPING MY NIGGA. got ya boy jigging dancing and doing all type of funny shit it bump so hard. Definitely a standout track. The hook is hard as hell too. Future did the thing on this one. 15. Flip - uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm not feeling this one at all big fella 16. When I was broke - another personal song that you can feel how he was feeling. It doesn't have any replay value tho but it's still a very cool song 17. Feds did a sweep - a perfect way to end the album. This song is so soulful you could sing it at church my nigga. Like I really really like this track, another standout. Overall takeaway - this was a straight up trap album forreal outside of maybe 2 tracks it was just that BUMP that makes you bob ya head and get a little loose. However It's not anything special future still has about 4 projects that are better than this one but it is his best release since EVOL. The tracks for the most part are hit or miss but in a good way. This was a good step forward especially after dropping that bullshit project ET I'm looking forward to more trap future. Standouts are - Draco, Mask Off, Massage in my Room and Feds did a sweep. I rate this album 3.5 child support payments to Ciara outta 5. Again feel free to comment any albums that you want me to review and I will or I'll say fuck outta here, either or. Thanks for reading

[masterdetectivexx]

Rum Arc Discussion Series: The Kohji Case

The Kohji case had a lot of scattered information. Although it’s limited, we have gotten many clues that are worth discussing. Previous Discussion Topic (Wakasa Rumi): http://masterdetectivexx.tumblr.com/post/156214348809/rum-arc-discussion-thread-plot-characters As we know, The 17-year-old double-murder was done by the Black Organization. This was a cemented fact, the moment we found out that Kohji’s name was written in the APTX list(the list of victims that were drugged by the organization’s experimental drug)(File 947). Then, it was established that Rum(BO’s current second-in-command) was the culprit, through Gin(File 953). The victims were Haneda Kohji and Amanda Hughes, and the prime suspect was Asaka. We also know that Akai Tsutomu was involved. In total, we have 5 important players in this case, and I’ll be going though each one of them.

Haneda Kohji

Haneda Kohji was a shogi-player and had come to the US to participate in a chess competition. The day before the competition, he was killed in his hotel room. What we know from that “Kohji website”(which contained the details surrounding that case) is that he was visited by Amanda Hughes(a huge fan of his), before his death. The reason this was “assumed” was because her fingerprints were found on different places inside Kohji’s room. Since her fingerprints were found on teacups, sofa and knife & forks, it is assumed that they were sitting on the sofa, drinking tea and eating snacks while having a chat(File 948).

After Amanda left, he was later assaulted by Rum, the culprit of that case, and the defensive wounds in Kohji’s arms, including the broken crockery and smashed cups, suggested that he was struggling against him until he was forced with the prototype drug(made by Sherry’s parents). For an unknown reason however, Rum had fled the scene, before cleaning up the messy room in order to make it look like nothing happened(following the BO’s M.O)(948).

Because of this, Kohji was able to leave a dying message, by “cutting” out specific letters from a hand-mirror after putting it under hot water. This was assumed due to the fact that his hand had marks that suggested that he was gripping a pair of scissors very tightly, and that the sink in his room was left open, as well as that a hand-mirror with missing letters was found. The missing letters were “#U# ## MASCARA”(derived from “PUT ON MASCARA”).

As we know, Conan’s(and the rest of the cast’s) interpretation of the dying message was that the removed letters “U MASCARA” was the message itself, and that it could be rearranged as “ASACA RUM”, and could be seen as “Asaka is Rum”. Whether this is the true interpretation or not, or whether the arrangement is even correct, is still a debate, but that it coincides with the names of two important players in this case is a hard fact. There are two incidents that needs attention. The first is Kohji’s clearly highlighted meeting with Amanda, not long before his death, and the second is Rum’s sudden escape from the crime scene. These two holes in the “Kohji website info” most likely plays a big role in the overall case development, since they are left vague by Gosho because he’s planning on filling them in later on. Amanda’s conversation with Kohji therefore carries a hidden development. Going by Haibara’s assumption, Amanda was most likely Rum’s target, and Kohji was most likely targeted by Rum because he was affiliated with her and had met her very recently(which, again follows the M.O of the BO, since they try to erase any potential leads to them). If Kohji wasn’t directly connected to the BO, then there’s no way for him to know about the BO members’ code-name(as assumed by Conan). Considering that Rum left the scene right after his attack(second hole), there shouldn’t have been a moment were his code-name could be heard by Kohji. If Conan’s assumption is true, is it possible that Amanda’s conversation with Kohji(first hole) played an important role in this scenario? Depending on Amanda’s affiliation with the BO, she could have potentially shared information about the BO/Rum with Kohji. This does however raise the question of why she would go to Kohji(of all people), her favorite shogi player that happened to visit the US for a match, to share that dangerous information. From the knowledge that we currently have regarding Kohji’s and Amanda’s relationship, it does seem out of place and too unrealistic to be the case, which by extension makes the assumption that Kohji knew about the BO/Rum, as well as “ASACA RUM” interpretation, less likely. The second hole suggests an interference, or an urgent development, that forced Rum to leave the scene. This sudden development lead to Kohji being alone in the room, followed by him leaving the dying message. Assuming that Kohji didn’t know about Rum/BO(in other words, “ASACA=RUM” is incorrect), it would mean that his message could have been mainly one of three things. The first possibility is a warning. If he for some reason had a suspicion about the killer’s original target, or the next target, then his message could’ve served as a warning for that target(like in File 133). The second possibility is the identity of the culprit. Like the majority of all dying message, this message could have been revealing the culprit’s identity, meaning that Kohji recognized Rum and knew his name(Examples:“karasuma”/“Sakamura”/“Masakura”[a sake name apparently btw]/etc.). In this case, it would mean that Rum is a famous figure, similar to Chris Vineyard(Vermouth). Since we know that Kohji was struggling against Rum, it wouldn’t be strange if Rum lost his disguise(hat/cap/mask/etc) in the middle of it, and ended up revealing himself to Kohji. If Rum wasn’t a known figure however, it’s possible that Rum had distinguishable characteristics/features that Kohji was alluding to in his message(like scar/age-group/gender/symbol). The third possibility is a final word. From the very beginning, this could have been a message intended for a loved one, or someone else that he wanted to relay a final message to. It’s also possible that the message had more than one meaning, but with the restrained time, it’s unlikely. Overall, considering that he had alphabetic letters to work with, and since he’s in the US, it’s not a stretch to assume that the message can be read by non-japanese speakers, but it’s also possible that the message relies on knowledge that he’s the most comfortable with, like shogi and chess(interestingly enough, the numbers in chessboards fits with the number of letters in the message).

Amanda Hughes

Amanda Hughes was an old wealthy and influential person who was Kohji’s fan. Just like with Kohji, she was killed by Rum. Although her name was never seen in the APTX list, her mysterious death suggests that she died from the prototype drug(which leaves no trace after being digested). According to Haibara, Amanda was most likely the organization’s target, due to her powerful position in society, and she even had connections to the FBI & CIA(File 948).

Before her death, as mentioned, she visited Kohji to chat about something. After the visit, she died after digesting the prototype drug. The fact that there was no indication of a struggle, and the that the room was left tidy, means that Rum successfully followed the BO’s M.O, which by extension makes the fact that the Kohji crime scene was a mess even more suspicion. Somehow, Amanda got herself a bodyguard that she called “Asaka”. The bodyguard Asaka disappeared directly after the murder, ultimately making him/her the prime suspect. Even close acquaintances of Amanda were clueless as to how she hired Asaka, meaning that it was done secretly for some reason(948).

In Amanda’s case, we can once again find another important hole in the information. The third hole is the mystery behind the way Amanda hired Asaka, and why. An influential person like Amanda hiring bodyguards(for no reason) is nothing uncommon, but the fact that it was hidden from her close relatives and acquaintances suggests that there was a hidden motive behind it. If she was aware of the BO’s plans to assassinate her, then it would explain her secret activities. For her to be aware of it however, it would imply that she’s connected to them in someway. Seeing as she’s a wealthy woman, it’s very likely that she was investing money to the BO(possibly for their research). The fact that she didn’t seek help from her FBI/CIA contacts(as far as we know) suggests that she might have been avoiding them(possibly due her involvement with a criminal organization). The fact she might be aware that her life is in danger might be due to her doing something that she knows went against the BO’s wishes. It could’ve also been a mistake on her part, that she knew was unforgivable. Another reason could be that she fell under their suspicion, due to her ties with the FBI/CIA being accidentally revealed, leading to the BO losing their trust on her(whether she was spying for them or not). So how did Amanda hire Asaka? Going by Conan’s assumption(“ASACA=RUM”), it would mean that she unknowingly secretly hired Rum, a BO member. But if her secrecy is due to the anticipated BO threat, then that would mean that she hired the “threat” himself to protect herself from it. That kind of mistake is very alerting, since you would assume that someone who’s likely fearing for their life would be extra picky and careful with the people they hire. Also, if she really did that mistake, it would mean that Rum had all the time to kill her, before they arrived in the hotel, but not only did he let her live up to that point, but he also let her meet Kohji, which lead to him having to unnecessarily kill him afterwards(and ultimately make mistakes). Following this line of thought, it’s very unlikely that Amanda hired/met Rum before she visited the hotel(assuming again, that “ASACA=RUM” is true). If this is the case, it also seems quite unlikely and unsafe for someone in her position to meet/hire someone, that she hasn’t met before, in a public place like a hotel(especially if she was aware of the BO threat, hence her secret hiring). This makes the overall “ASACA=RUM” interpretation even more improbable. If we were to ignore Conan’s assumption, then all these inconsistencies that we currently have disappears. This still leaves us with the question of how Asaka was hired. If we consider the the first hole in the “Kohji website info”(Amanda’s meeting with Kohji), then it could potentially fill this third hole(Asaka’s hiring). If Asaka was hired during Amanda’s meeting with Kohji, then it could explain why the hiring was such a mystery to everyone close to her. What this would imply is that Asaka was originally Kohji’s bodyguard, who came with him to the US. As I addressed before, the likelihood that Amanda would reveal dangerous info about the BO to a shogi player, that she happens to admire, is very unlikely. It’s not as unlikely however that she might have addressed general worries for her life during her chat with him. This could’ve ultimately lead to Kohji having his trusted bodyguard Asaka assigned to Amanda, as extra precaution, during her stay in the hotel(if not until the competition the next day), in order calm her nerves.

Asaka

As I mentioned in my Rumi discussion, there are certain contradictions about Asaka. To summarize it, if Asaka is Rum, then Asaka can’t be a woman. The thing that suggested to Hotta, as well as Conan, that Asaka is female is the fact she was seen carrying a hand-mirror. That hand-mirror was most likely the same hand-mirror that Kohji used for his dying message. This is another clue that could help us shed some light to this Asaka mystery.

When Agasa asked if it was Amanda’s hand-mirror, Haibara mentioned that it’s probably Kohji’s and that it’s normal for Shogi-players to care for their looks, but that it also might’ve been given to him by someone(File 948).

This looked a lot like Gosho’s way of alluding to the truth, like he usually does with Conan(when the last thing he points out after his previous points ends up being the correct one). Kohji being given the hand-mirror by someone is most likely the truth. What we also need to take into consideration however is that Asaka was at some point seen with a hand-mirror(File 953).

Again, if we look at it through the “ASACA=RUM” mindset, it would imply that at some point, the hand-mirror went from Rum to Kohji(since Rum fled the scene before Kohji left the message with the hand-mirror, and since the room was never cleaned up, Rum likely never returned). The only possible way for that to happen is if he dropped his hand-mirror during his struggle with Kohji, but that still raises the question of why Rum carries a hand-mirror to begin with. It’s not a rule that only females can carry it, but from Gosho’s depiction of that plot-point, we are supposed to see gender-stereotypes as the norm. Taking this fact into consideration, including the implications that the hand-mirror was most likely given to Kohji, once again lessens the likelihood of “ASACA=RUM” interpretation to be true. If Asaka was originally Kohji’s bodyguard however, it would explain why Asaka was seen with it and how it was given to Kohji. This would imply that Asaka is indeed a female bodyguard, who shared her hand-mirror with the person she’s hired to protect, Kohji. If we were to follow this line of thought however, we come to the realization that even after Asaka was assigned to Amanda, by Kohji, Rum still managed to kill her. The tidiness of the room suggest that a mess wasn’t created, or that he successfully cleaned after himself without interference. Right after killing Amanda, he went straight to Kohji’s room, but what happened to Asaka? If there was never a mess in Amanda’s room to begin with, then it’s possible that his attack on her wasn’t as straightforward as when he dealt with Kohji. Rum could’ve planned out the best strategy to poison her without having to directly force it into her. With this possibility in mind, it wouldn’t be impossible for Rum to have overlooked Asaka(who he didn’t expect to be in Amanda’s room as she unknowingly digested the poison). How he directly dealt with Kohji, using force, indicates that Kohji’s assassination was most likely an urgent last-minute-plan(after finding out about his meeting with Amanda). That’s when the second hole comes into the picture(where Rum, for an unknown reason, suddenly flees from Kohji’s room, after forcing him with the drug), and after Asaka realized that both of them were dead, she likely fled due to all of it looking like she did it(especially since she was in both of their rooms). If Rum directly attacked Amanda as well however, and then later cleaned up her room, it’s also possible that he in fact did attack Asaka along with Amanda, and forced her with the drug, after finding out that she was Kohji’s bodyguard(meaning that Kohji met Amanda). Although we have no clues to shrinking side-effects of the early prototypes made by Sherry’s parents, it wouldn’t be unreasonable to consider the possibility that Asaka shrank, which in turn would explain her sudden disappearance after Kohji’s and Amanda’s death. Pisco’s line about Sherry’s prototype’s shrinking effect suggests that her parents never got their research that far(File 242), but Pisco’s knowledge could’ve easily been limited as well.

Akai Tsutomu

The first time Akai’s father was mentioned was in File 949. Subaru revealed that his father was involved in Kohji’s case and that his involvement was the reason he joined the FBI. When Conan asked if Tsutomu worked with the FBI, Subaru answered:

“He wasn’t FBI, but…”

In this very case(FIle 948-950), there are two important groups that were name-dropped, the FBI & the CIA. These drops were most likely intentionally setup by Gosho for this very hint to be established. Akai Tsutomu was involved for a reason, and it was most likely connected to Amanda, who was targeted by the BO and had ties to both the FBI & CIA. The fact that Subaru left an ambiguous “but…”(as if an alternative answer was underway before he interrupted himself), right after denying that his father worked with the FBI, indicates that Tsutomu must be working with the other alternative, that was recently mentioned alongside the first alternative, the CIA. It’s a clever story-telling tactic to hide the answer while at the same time leaving it right under the reader’s nose. His involvement with a case that takes place in the US(even though his family lives in the UK) further indicates that his father was tied to the country in someway(which makes sense if he was a CIA-agent). Adding to the fact that Akai had an unknown source that possessed CIA intel(File 595) further hints towards this direction. His goal was most likely Amanda Hughes. It’s possible that the CIA picked up on her suspicious activities that connected her to the BO(her possible investments for example). Whatever the reason was, it lead curious Tsutomu to the hotel. What we later find out is that Tsutomu disappeared after Kohji’s and Amanda’s death, similarly to Asaka. Mary reveals that he apparently sent a final message during his disappearance, warning his family that “he made enemies with really horrible people” and that they should flee to Japan and act like he’s dead(File 972). This was followed by Akai, who thinks to himself about his father’s body not being found.

Tsutomu said that he had “made enemies” with some really “horrible people”. This was clearly alluding to the BO, but what is interesting to note is that he said that “he made enemies”. This is a clear indication that Tsutomu stood against the BO during his involvement in the Kohji case, meaning that he interfered with their activities, which lead to him becoming their target. This very situation that he got himself into coincides awfully well with the second hole in the “Kohji website info”(Rum’s sudden escape from Kohji’s room) and could potentially be the answer to it. The reason to why Rum couldn’t follow the BO’s M.O in Kohji’s room and instead fled could be due to Tsutomu’s interference. After finding Amanda’s corpse, Tsutomu might’ve run straight to Kohji’s room and encountered Rum, who had just forced Kohji with the drug. The fact that Akai was talking about “a dead body not being found”, indicates that there were most likely signs of Tsutomu’s potential death(but with no trace of a body). The usual signs of death is if blood is found in a crime scene. If Tsutomu’s blood was in Kohji’s room, then it’s very likely that a fight took place between Rum and Tsutomu, ultimately leading towards Rum’s escape and Tsutomu’s disappearance(after realizing the trouble his family could get into). While Rum was distracted by Tsutomu, Kohji would have the little time that he needed to leave a message, as he’s slowly dying by the drug(similarly to how Shinichi struggles before the shrinking-effect kicks in). This scenario would imply that Akai Tsutomu is still alive(if there’s no future development that would suggest otherwise).

Rum

In this whole case exposition(File 948-954), the only hard facts we have regarding Rum and the BO is that Rum screwed up his job(File 953), and that the BO is aware of the dying message, and that it can be read as “ASACA RUM”(File 954).

This very limited information doesn’t tell us much about Rum, or if “ASACA=RUM” is true, but it does imply that Rum’s mistake is connected to the second hole(Rum suddenly fleeing from the scene). Following my previous potential explanation to that hole, it’s possible that Tsutomu was the cause to Rum’s escape, which lead to all the mistakes that followed with it(The M.O not being fulfilled, Tsutomu not being dealt with and Kohji managing to leave a potentially-dangerous message). Now, taking Conan’s assumption to consideration, the message would clearly pose a problem to the BO. But if we look at it from the second perspective(dismissing Conan’s assumption), it would mean that another weight is added to Rum’s mistake, Asaka. Her disappearance is clearly another problem that highlights Rum’s mistake from 17 years ago, since the “Kohji website” keeps reminding them that one person, that was involved, managed to escape(whether Asaka was overlooked at the moment of the crime or not) and could pose a threat if they(Asaka) possess threatening information. Them investigating anything that involves “ASACA RUM”(the dying message) wouldn’t be surprising, if Asaka is still being searched by them and that the message might be connected to her.

The Kohji Website’s uploader

When Agasa was surprised by the amount of detail in the Kohji website, Conan revealed that the website was taken down multiple times, but the uploader kept putting it up continuously as if they were desperately seeking help(File 948). This was then followed by Agasa emphasizing the suspicious “minute detail” that the website had regarding that case.

This was clearly Gosho’s way to hint us that the uploader was someone that was there and participated in that case in someway. Currently, there are only two players in that case that would have a reason to seek help, Tsutomu and Asaka. Taking once again Conan’s assumption into consideration, it would mean that the uploader is Tsutomu, or someone that Tsutomu shared the details with(which in that case would exclude Mary, since the implications in File 972 suggested that the text was the only thing he sent to her). If we again disregard Conan’s assumption, it would leave Asaka as an option too. The narrative in the website is done as if it’s from a neutral person. This is a clever move if you want to avoid suspicion by the people that’s hunting you. With that in mind, Asaka could’ve easily portrayed herself as the prime suspect, since she’s aware that it’s the first thing an outsider would see her as, after her disappearance(hence why she fled in the first place, if it wasn’t because of a shrinking). If it’s Tsutomu, then he might not even know if Asaka is Rum or not, unless Rum had distinguishable features/clothes that contradicts the Asaka photo. Whoever it was(Asaka or Tsutomu), it’s very clear that Gosho is alluding to that the uploader is someone that was directly involved in that 17-year-old case. Summary: Haneda Kohji

- An important development most likely took place during his meeting with Amanda(first plot hole). - A sudden development took place, that interfered with Rum’s assassination of Kohji(after successfully drugging him) and forced him to flee, before Kohji left the dying message(second plot hole) - The likelihood that Haneda Kohji had prior knowledge on the BO is currently low. - His dying message is more likely to be something that americans can also interpret, but it might also rely on knowledge that he’s comfortable with(like Chess/Shogi). Amanda Hughes

- The way she hired Asaka is important(third plot hole). - She was most likely connected to the BO in someway(hence why she was targeted), and her secret hiring of Asaka suggests that she was most likely worried for her life. - The third plot hole might be connected to the first, meaning that Asaka was assigned to Amanda during her meeting with Kohji(in other words, that Asaka was originally Kohji’s bodyguard). Asaka

- The hand-mirror was at some point with Asaka, and then ended up with Kohji, and the likelihood that it was given to him is high. - If the hand-mirror is Asaka’s, and was given to Kohji, then the likelihood that Asaka is female is high(in other words, Asaka being Rum is low). - If Asaka is female, the reason to her disappearance could be due to wanting to avoid blame for the murders, or that she was also attacked with the drug, but instead shrank. Akai Tsutomu

- Tsutomu is most likely a CIA agent, and he might’ve been investigating Amanda’s affiliation with the BO. - His text to Mary suggests that he took a stand that interfered with the BO’s mission, ultimately making them his enemies. - His interference might be connected to the second plot hole, meaning that he interfered with Rum’s assassination, and ended up helping Kohji leave a dying message. Tsutomu might’ve fought with Rum and bled, but successfully managed to fend him off and flee himself. Rum

- Rum’s mistake is most likely the fact that he was unable to deal with the interference that lead to Kohji successfully leaving a dying message and Rum not being able to clean up after himself. - If Tsutomu was the interference, then his disappearance adds up to Rum’s mistakes. - If Asaka is female, then her disappearance also adds up to Rum’s mistakes, and the BO are most likely still searching for her. The Kohji website’s uploader

- The uploader is most likely someone directly involved in that case. - If Asaka is Rum, then the only alternative is Tsutomu, or someone he shared the info with(excluding Mary). - If Asaka is female, then the likelihood that the uploader is either Asaka or Tsutomu is high.