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"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.." MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#jrwi the suckening#arthur bennett#HEY SO THE REALLY FUNNY THING THAT THE CHARACTER DID THAT SEEMED RLY SILLY N GOOFY IN THE MOMENT?#LIKE THE WHIPLASH BETWEEN SERIOUS N SILLY ALMOST PISSED YOU OFF? WHAT IF I FOUND A WAY TO MAKE YOU SAD ABOUT IT#this was meant to be a scribble that would be a bigger part of a bigger page.might leave it on that page.#but still. bc o that i nearly posted it onto my wacky side blog.BUT NAYY I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME N ENERGY N YOU GOTTA SEE IT#ARTHUR BENNETT DRIVES ME CRAZY. I FEEL LIKE ITS ODD FOR HIM TO BE SO TECHNOLOGICALLY OUT OF TOUCH#WHERE HAS HE BEEN. HAS HE BEEN IN WAR? IS THAT WHERE MAGNUS CAME FROM? WHERE WAS HE WHEN HE WAS WITH EDWARDS CREW?#ARTHURRR I HAVE QUESTIONS ARTTHUUURR!! HEY CAN I ALSO ASK; WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BECOME#DO YOU THINK HE HAD ANY IDEA HE WOULD VEER CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE MONSTER HE DESPISES. ALL BC HE DESERVES IT. OR WATEVER#HE FASCINATES ME SO MUCH. TO LOOK AT THE STONE COLD STOIC FOOL FROM THE START OF THE SHOW#AND TO FIND OUT THAT HE USED TO BE A BAD BOY.. A DELINQUENT... A LIL PRANKSTER.... MY GODDD THATS ADORABLE#I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW MORE.... BUT I DOUBT THE LAST EPISODE IS GONNA ANSWER THOSE QUESTIONS..i love arthur bennett so much....#AS FOR THE ART!! i mostly used the fire alpaca watercolor brush. tbh im not a brush guy. anti aliased default pen tends to be my main game#but LATELY IM SQQQUIRMIN OUT OF AN ARTBLOCK so expirimenting like this is helping#DONT LOOK TOO HARD AT IT!! im still proud tho. colors are fun :3 im also very proud of the backgrounds#I LOVE THE CARTOON THING where the background looks all fancy n painted but the characters are solid colors#what else can i ramble abt. OH YEAH. i looked up the bikes to make sure they were time accurate tehehehe. 1913 to 2012.#almost a century apart!! isnt that neat? ALSO FUUUCK CAN I JUST MAKE A QUICK CONFESSION. DOWN HERE IN MY TAGS.#only the strongest can read my tags anwyay. SO I REALIZED WHY I LOVE ARTHUR SO MUCH. TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE#while arthur is a Stoic and Cool vampire w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORs#THERE HAPPENS TO BE A ROBOT FROM A BAND W A TITANIUM ALLOY SPINAL COLLUMN#WHOS A Stoic and Cool ROBOT w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORS#the fuckkkiiinnngggnn The Spine from steam powered giraffe. WHATEVER. i cant escape from my heart. i guess.#i think The Spine and Arthur could be friends. Arthur saw the band perform back when they were the Steam Man Band#EDIT: WOOPS I DIDNT REALIZE THIS WOULD END UP IN THE SPG TAG. HI GUYS DIDNT KNOW U WERE STILL ALIVE SORREE 4 THE CROSS CONTAMINATION
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temple is an unreliable narrator and is more at fault for biff’s death than he lets on/remembers: juicy. delicious. tragic. what’s the truth? does anyone even remember? how much blame falls on carolina? how much on temple? how much on biff? everyone has a different version of events and they’re all conflicting and no one knows what really happened except that biff ended up dead and temple can never, ever let that go.
temple is an unreliable narrator and is completely at fault for biff’s death and carolina had nothing to do with it: okay well you’ve made it even more boring than canon
#mark temple#rvb#i don’t know how many ppl still have ‘temple killed biff’ theories but tumblr kept showing me some old ones after looking through temple tag#and i’m just. temple killing biff and then blaming the freelancers is so borrrinnnnnggggg you just made him a crazy person#he’s gotta have motives. he’s gotta have a motive that makes you understand why he did this.#you gotta see the vision#it’s also very… i don’t know it feels very like. scrubbing down carolina’s edges?#the fact that carolina would be willing to kill/let sim troopers die is like. that’s a part of her character#that’s a part of ALL the freelancer’s characters#like obviously temple becoming a serial killer with a murder basement is fucked up and not a equivalent retribution#but also. like. i can guarantee you every freelancer in that room took a biff away from a temple.#killing sim troopers was just part of the job#making carolina have no culpability just weakens it soooooo much like. like you’re not actually cleaning her character at all#she definitely killed other sim troopers!#we see her! on screen! killing a bunch of guards who are literally just. doing their job. like they’re essentially civilians.#carolina was complicit in a system that resulted in many innocent lives lost and one of those lives was biff#and maybe temple had more of a hand in it than what he said but that doesn’t erase carolina’s complicity
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Something something S4 shows through Nancy how someone can be pressured into a relationship by well meaning people, how easy it is to project your significant other onto someone familiar when they're gone, something something Nancy only started giving Steve eyes during situations he reminded her of key moments in her relationship with Jonathan, how you could see all over her face that she was going to reject him, how the audiences emotions are lined up with Steve and not her and the fact that Steve wants a girlfriend so badly means the audience wants him to have a girlfriend too bc he deserves it ! He's grown so he can do better this time ! She CAN love him ! Look ! The people who just officially met them this week think they're true love ! But Nancy is in love with Jonathan. But Steve wants a white picket fence life at the end of a cul-de-sac with 6 children, which Nancy said herself is like her worst nightmare. But Steve was never the problem in their relationship. Nancy didn't love him. Nancy is not a prize. He doesn't deserve her for changing. And the people trying to matchmake them DO NOT KNOW BOTH PARTIES WELL. Robin JUST officially started talking to Nancy, all she really has to go off of is whatever Steve has told her and EDDIE met BOTH OF THEM officially like three days ago. All he knows is their reputations really, and that "act of true love" was entirely typical of Nancy's character and she would've done it for just about anyone she cares about, he doesn't know that though because he doesn't know her. And she ended the season in her bf's arms setting up their conflict in s5 while Steve ended the season alone but with his friends.
#ok draft go off#im actually reluctant to post this just bc now I'll only have 68 drafts#this post is about byler. plot twist !#i fear i have no more words. this doesnt usually happen to me#i am SO tired tho so cut me some slack i swear the next time i randomly post smthn the tags will go crazy 🤞 campers honor#stranger things#byler#jancy#nancy wheeler#jonathan byers#steve harrington#will byers#mike wheeler#✋️🙄 pls#ok its the next day and i can think again. this post is abt byler. djbsbd#in the sense that mike was pressured into a relationship by well meaning people who thought they liked each other-#and el was so similar to will that it was easy to project him onto her and when he thought she was gone his relationship w will developed#and when SHE came back he started to recreate what he had with will with her to make it easier to be w her in general#and as she is becoming her own person with her own wants and needs- their relationship suffers for it#also 'you could see it all over their faces' ily speech and he ended the season with will setting up their plot in s5#and el ended it alone (with her family)
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opinions on Tommy
sorry i just like posting polls
#sorry i just like knowing peoples opinions#tumblr shouldn’t have given me a poll option#also my vote is for neutral#mostly#don’t love his character in the flashbacks and wish we got a bit more redemption#he’s a fine character i just personally think he’s a plot device and probs won’t be around for long#idc if he does stay around but i def don’t think he should be endgame for buck#buddie#911#911 on abc#eddie diaz#evan buckley#911 abc#911 poll#tommy kinard#most of my issue with BT is the shippers honestly#not even all of them#mostly just the super intense ones that think we should stop shipping/hoping for buddie#as if all hope for buddie is gone because tommy’s been here for what? 1 1/2 dates and two kisses?#and the ones who want eddie dead so buck and tommy can have christopher#y’all are crazy#probs the majority of BT shippers are nothing like that but i’ve seen way too much to ignore it#nothing against the rest of y’all that act normal#certainly not getting endgame vibes from the way their relationship is being written and framed#it always makes me happy when i can predict the results of the polls#like i try and tag them as neutrally as possible and then guess how the results will go#and it’s fun but sometimes it scares me#like i get anxious when they aren’t going. the ‘right’ way#i have to start taking my ocd meds again this is becoming a problem#bucktommy
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[ID: a digital illustration featuring Luz, Eda, King, and Papa Titan from the owl house. The image is set in the in-between realm. Papa Titan looms large in the background, winking at us with his claw outstretched into the foreground. The hooty in his eye socket also extends into the foreground, staring at Eda (who's in harpy form) menacingly. Her, King and Luz are floating in the space, Eda looking at the hooty unhappily, King faced away and turned back to look at us, one hand outstretched to Papa Titan, Luz looking at stringbean (surrounded by light spells) with tears in her eyes. Written overtop of the image is the lyrics "and here's to you, Mrs Robinson!". End ID]
💫🎶and here's to you, Miss Noceda! The Titan loves you more than you will know, wo oh oh!🪶✨
#the owl house#toh#luz noceda#eda clawthorne#king clawthorne#king toh#papa titan#watching and dreaming#sorry i wrote out all my tags in drafts and then tumblr ate them so i am. keeping this brief#I think a lot about how the show ends with luz technically becoming a chosen one but it's so completely earned imp#*imo#bc it all stems from her connecting with and taking care of this overlooked and lost kid who just so happened to be the son of God#and about how papa titan called himself a ''big fan'' of Eda like#imagine you're someone condemned by society at large and when u meet God (bc you fucking died) he says he wants you to live#even more he wants you to want to live. which is important bc you're fifteen and suicidal#this shows crazy man#i sometimes worry that bc i mostly only talk about what i like about the show ppl think i don't care/don't get it#which is dumb#but like. i talk about what i like about the show not bc i don't have crit of but just bc like. the parts that are good are REALLY good man#i love her (toh) dearly and it fucks me up we're coming up on the 100 day anniversary of the finale. insane#anyway. tumblr pls don't eat this i only have so many years left on this earth
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Just gonna put this here.
#top cut off but its a locg review of abs power origins#aka the john ridley take of waller's origin#and its a mixed bag. and like i appreciate a lot of what hes trying to do in the first bit and retell her original origin which i love to#see. but as i said shes been changed so much its like having bruce wayne become superman to me like 2024 waller has a radically different#set of goals. so telling a story where she would logically have one then pivoting to make her focus on smth totally different at the end#just doesnt make sense. like bc its within the constraints of absolute power and what they need her to be i honestly think theres no way of#telling this story right in the way she deserves at this point in time realistically. like i would love to be proven wrong but thats not#what i see happening#anyways if i was writing this and didnt have to make her crazy 2024 waller id have her learn collins was corrupt after she had basically#secured his victory/gotten him elected (and have had her genuinely BELIEVE in him) only to then get leverage and use him as a puppet to do#some good by voting in the way she wanted. which would then later spark the idea of the suicide squad bc its the same concept (using the bad#people who exist and have power to use that power for good) just on a different scale#etc etc cue events of sui sq 1987#amanda waller#absolute power: origins#absolute power#fuck it ill put it in the tag#wednesday spoilers
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blorbos from my brain
#beloved villainxcivilian wip. i need to draw you#post unrelated to previous few. mostly#if anyone's reading this post and curious: vague superhero/villain-containing setting; mc is a woman who gets out of a shit relationship#w a local hero by selling his work laptop to a local villain and using the money to flee the province/whatever with her cat & suitcase.#gets set up w a tiny apartment. barely leaves. severe anxiety that she's gonna be tracked down by either her ex or the villain to tie up lo#loose ends#eventually unwinds enough to leave; takes a 3rd shift at an ancient tiny library with old archives#local supervillain (not that she knows at first) becomes a repeat visitor looking over the old city blueprints and hwhatnot on file#eventually unwinds enough to start a mayyybe situationship#he's not blind she's clearly very distrusting n nervous even if she's got a crazy good customer service face so he's very slow abt it#lets her set the pace of whatever they're doing#which simultaneously reassures her and makes her nervous#because it could be a mask. it could be a trap. she literally has no way to really know#gets worse when the truth about his profession comes out#mental breakdown. lots of yelling. butter knife brandished like a weapon (<- taken very seriously)#once shit settles a lot of time is dedicated to figuring out how they want to continue this. if they want to#given that there is realistically a crazy power dynamic between them. she's an immigrant who had to uproot herself from literally everyone#and everything she knows and has; has no support system in a country she is technically not legally supposed to be in;#he is very influential; having both notable scores of money socked away and a potentially a mole in the local policing force#if he wanted to make her disappear in one way or another it would not be difficult for him#much how her ex was becoming. extremely overbearing so to speak#so Yah trying to navigate that. very serious discussions if they can make that work out or if they should split#bc i want a happy ending i think they make it work! not sure about the specifics but theyre good#i think he doesnt realize how badly shes fucked up until at some point after The Breakdown he puts together that she's the reason the hero#in a few provinces away got completely Fucked by the local villain scene#and putting that together with her severe anxiety and not-great living situation. why she would've possibly done that#anyways. the inspiration for this all was mostly out of distaste for most of the romantasy books i have to see in various fandom tags#male love interest who doesn't really respect boundaries VS. m.l.i. who is extremely respectful of boundaries while managing to remain a vi#villain by the laws of the genre/setting/otherwise plot#(and asking the question of what does villainy mean in this context)
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j need to get back into life drawing post haste
#i think im losing . construction in my art#im forgetting how to draw bodies think. idk#literlaly so annoying . its like fun when u get the hang of things but then u neglect one aspect in pursuit of another#and then have to go back and touch up that old skill to try and balance jt and theres that brief period where#eveyrthing is harmonious and then it outpaces itself again and becomes ths juggling act#overall i enjoy it . the drawing sessions but smtimes finding the will 2 get out of bed is like pulling teeth#bc i know im never going 2 walk out of there feeling satisfied but . actually idc#a lot of my pals . my friends there r a couple of decades older than me and they have the best advice tbh#randy. and donna . randy and donna and third guy whose name i forget . -> if u r satisfied at the end of a session did u rly learn anything#always want 2 improve . right right#UARHGHQHHH ill do it ill go . im scared bc i feel like it tends to artblock me#bc i start getting in my head ab what i know/see vs what i can only draw#but im sooo addicted 2 wanting to get better . i want to draw like a million people i see on here who have that great construction and#weight and anatomy and dynamism . i want to be like u . ill work to be like u ill try#and i feel like ive negelcted my basics for soo long .. i need to get ths foam shapes and a lamp . NOWWWW#yotasuke#i miss yotasuke so much.damn. thats crazy . anyways#the way he points out that yatoras dedication/hard work is a talent . like ueah . i agree w him im envious of that r u kidding me#and ytora walkimg arnd like oh u have it so easy ytsk. he needs to shut the hell up smtimes#i meed to see them eviscerate each other blood and all.#spongebob icecream truck- not that yatoras hard work isnt Also a skill but ykwim . if youve read YKWIMM#bc he was always like woe is me im soo untalented and its like no bro u r you just manifest it differently . that natural drive is a talent#but that natural drive also takes skill to foster and nurture else it has no purpose .#no i cant be blp posting in the tags bye
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the worst thing about cybertrucks (aside from all the other Worst Things about cybertrucks) is the fact that the name "cybertruck" is so charming, specifically in that it would be the name of a not-street-legal vehicle created out of spare parts by a scrappy gang of friends in an apocalyptic cyberpunk future. but instead of being that, the fun name got wasted on this stupid thing
#tag from April 29: I just found this in my drafts and you know what. I was right.#the rest of these tags are from whenever the original draft was made:#alternatively: cybertruck would be the name of something in adventure time.#like if you can divorce the name from the concept of the tesla cybertruck? then it suddenly becomes a fun and almost whimsical name#Cyber Truck...#12 year old me would have drawn a picture of a crazy futuristic vehicle with a bunch of gadgets attached to it and hover tech in addition#to wheels#and labeled it as Cyber Truck#and i think that's wonderful#my post
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aaaaaa
#this is becoming a realy bad issue ruining my life but i cant talk to anyone about it :(#even just it in the wild drives me crazy its so bad ...idk where to go about it#uggh...it really sucks. it sucks so bad. like i literally cannot do anything about it. even if i were to have someone i trust enough to#talk to about it its just so fucking...i cant tell anyone...SO im gonna be vague about it sorry x_x i know ppl get so curious#sorry im venting in the tags because i feel bad making an actual post#not like it changes anything lmao but it makes me feel better#i feel really bad venting on here but its kind of comforting. i wont do it again..or..often#i wish icould fix this. one tiny thing and it sends me into this like...spiral. it sucks. it sucks. its so embarrassing#its making my life a hell i try to avoid it as much as possible luckily its easy to avoid but when i come across it it HITS me#it hits me. like right now. i hate it. and it hits me and it makes me realize how bad it really is and it takes up my mind for hours#like seriously? out of every problem i could have why is it this lol#i wish i knew what was wrong with me.. i dont think its normal..but oh well#sorry for venting im fine ill try to not do it again or at least go in depth like this. its just. ruining my life i have to get it out-#-in some way even if its vague like this. i dont know if this makesm e feel better even#i think im pmsing lol which probably makes it a bit worse so im fine#venting on tumblr is so embarrassing but i just. no one i trust i can talk to about this. this is all i got#sorry for clogging ur dash lol#i wish i was normal -_-#thunder roars
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We like to talk about reading comprehension a lot on this site but no one in the history of humankind has worse reading comprehension than the people who were convinced to join the military because of the metal gear games.
#like these people played the games where literally every character rants at length about how becoming a soldier ruined their lives#and someone sees that and goes WOW WAR IS AWESOME SOLID SNAKE IS SO COOL I WANT TO KILL PEOPLE WITHOUT REMORSE GOD BLESS AMERICA#congratulations you have somehow missed the point of one of the most unsubtle anti war series ever made#if you watch the mgs2 GW patriots censorship codec call that’s just before the final boss#and don’t immediately want to destroy the us government for practically letting exactly what GW is describing happen today#or at least think deeply about it in anyway something is wrong with you#also mgs has been calling out video games being used as a propaganda tool for getting people to join the military since mgs2#and especially mgs 4 which is crazy when mgs4 came out in 2008 and call of duty has been getting even more propaganda heavy as the games#go on#sorry for the larger amount of tags I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I needed to rant about it#mgs#metal gear solid#metal gear
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Marineford....... i am so fucking scared.... whitebeard's big ass head and moustache in the volume cover doesn't help
Izou... look at this icon (at least it looks like him)
Just like his fuckass grandpa.... thank god sengoku said it before him I guess
This is indeed so funny whitebeard... look at all these dumbasses.... an army of them
Sengoku noticed because of the d.... fucking hell....
This is so crazy still...... he must have went through it at the moment like damn you want me to be your son??? The thing that cursed me?? Being someone's son???
The way he denies his father but all the love he gets is somehow coming from him one way or another.... luffy is basically his spirit and whiteberd is his best friend... and they are the two people that loved him the most besides his parents. YOU'RE GONNA GET LOVED BY YOUR FATHER WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!!! LOVE TRASCENDS LIFE MY BOY!!!
So whitebeard didnt know about his father.. he just liked his vibes omg.... the father that stepped up for reals. Also first person ever talling him who his father is doesn't matter. Wish he told him about the marine propaganda about him but alas.....
ACE WATCH OUT!!! ACE THE CYCLE!!!
I see what oda was doing with his face but it's still so funny... he looks like a mii
Whitebeard that went hard as hell man.... AKAINU SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
The curse of knowing the future strikes me once again
Alright. Enough. What the hell man.....
It's like he's form Jojo's but he's the only ugly character... no big eyes no big lips.....
I'm doing murder suicide with garp over this no one is coming out alive of this one fucker... in the anime how they put ace's cries as a baby as he went up the stairs killed me dead that was crazy...... but this still gets me
Somebody sedate me
You tell em jimbei
God I know ace is in all types of pain right now... this is like seeing his kid brother running around in a nuclear bomb testing site
Anahdhakshaka garp this is what you get for being a fuckass
Mihawk has been so entertained since the strawhats appeared and he hasn't even gotten custody of zoro yet
Smoker you won't decipher luffys brain don't even try you will get a stroke
GOD!!!!!!! THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I said somebody sedate me!!!!
Luffy 🥺🥺🥺🥺 omg
So far not making it a single day without crying... alright 👍🏻
ANOTHER ONE!!!
Very poignant in the aftermath of Jinx dying to save Vi... a big sibling's greatest nightmare
I'm just posting this all because what the hell sure.... should we all kill ourselves
This is so funny..... whitebeard is very fond of roger's kids aldhakska
#the first chapter is called ace and whitebeard.... i am not ready...#ace becoming so good so fast is so incredble.... wdym he refused to become a warlord at 18 probably. what the hell.#its so funny he has his flame fruit but uses a knife to try to kill whitebeard akdjksns#whitebeard saying he sent ace to catch teech gets me every time man....#this shit is crazy i see one panel of ace's face and i start agonizing bc i know what will happen am i going insane. is this normal....#also its all double pages spreads?? omg....#vice admiral lacroix.... sure#FUCKING DOFLAMINGO!!! CUTTING OARS LEG OFFF!!!!#the preparations are complete???? what the hell is akainu planning.... is so good having shit memory i remember fuck all#doflmingos speech is so good man.... he knows how things work bc he was the one who decidd how things work....#garp crying.... boo fucking hoo.... i have been crying too. shut the fuck up.....#luffy is here.... this is going to get so much worse now....#the third cup barely being visible in that one panel... sick and twisted.....#the chapters go by SO FAST... if i wasn't agonizing over anything ace does or says they would feel even faster#talking tag#reading one piece#marineford
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being evaluated for adhd by having one of those full psych evals that last like two hours. scared frightened etc.... last time i took it i lied extensively bc i was 13 and thought they might tell my mommy if i said i had suicidal thoughts. and i still have a habit of lying to therapists bc i'm embarrassed......... AGH idk. what if i take it and they tell me that the reason im Like This is bc im genuinely just weird and shitty and not bc im mentally ill at all. SCARED
#which is dumb bc i have been formally diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses i dont think they can just take it back right?????#this is so stupid and cliche but what if i have been faking it........ all along........ Argh.#when i was in res i was put on adderall (bc the house psych just kind of experimented w meds LMFAO) and i had to go off them after like#two weeks bc it was affecting my appetite in a way i couldnt afford at the time lmao. but i do genuinely feel like it helped during that#time.... which is why i want to go on it again!!!! but im scared theyll just be like nah and i wont be able to take any of my meds anymore#is that crazy. am i being crazy rn. idk i truly do think most of my experiences w school and like. life could be explained by adhd and#when i was a kid they thought i had it but the two meds they tried didnt work for me so they just. kind of gave up#and i was really extremely unable to do school and graduated hs w an insanely low gpa and then dropped out of community college. LMAO. not#that people w adhd cant be good in school i just couldnt make myself do homework and couldnt listen in class bc i was too busy focusing on#listening. if that makes sense#IDK. idk. i know it's become like. a trend to have adhd is the issue and everything is being attributed to having it so im worried that ive#like. accidentally fallen in w that? even though ive thought i had it for forever and everyone has been like girl do you have this. IDK!!!!#idk. idkkkk im just like. genuinely scared. it's not the end of the world if im not diagnosed obviously but that means that#im just like this for no reason at all. and there's no way of helping it bc it's just the way i am. and i actually am just shitty n lazy.#epic. which incidentally is the proper name for how fucking long these tags are my bad. if you read this far sorry for being insane 👍
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having a crush is like poison status effect whenever u have to think.
#my ocs#hello yes see i draw#I hate this so much ???????#what the fuck ??????#do u know how much effort I have to put in to not think about it. Like. Should I just kill myself at this point tbh.#and there’s people around me who are purposely trying to get a crush for like. Fun. Why.#this is psychological warfare.#though I guess their goals w crush is have one and never speak to him huh 💭 they just want a guy to think about when bored.#This happened to me by accident 💭 and I am. speaking to him often. I didn’t today though. hashtag winning 💪 (?)#I will get over it. I will speak to no one over midterms week and I will get so over him.#and then I will be so normal platonic about it.#this was supposed to happen in highschool I think I was supposed to get comfortable w this way earlier in life.#I don’t know I don’t care I just need to survive this at this point Jesus Christ.#and hey guess what I was just about to start gushing in this tag it snuck up on me wtf.#I do not want him. (<- affirmations)#I can never let anyone have my Tumblr or my art socials ever god imagine. Anyone seeing this.#it would suck so bad. Guys. I would have to kms.#why did I meet the most attractive and nicest and coolest guy immediately. why is this my first friend in 5 years.#sorry that is gushing huh. god this sucks so bad. I hate. having emotions.#well it’s not gushing it’s like objective fact people will not stop saying he’s won the genetic lottery to his face.#And I get crazy 2nd hand embarrassment every time but also not wrong.#they’re not wrong. ugh. killing myself.#guys why does every tag ramble end this way. guys. why. why am I becoming a real boy I want to be a puppet again actually.#ok. normal time 4 minutes left in movie clean bathroom then sneepy time and I will do so good not thinking about him and will sleep immedia
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honestly. being able to be honest with my loved ones about when i am Mentally Unwell but also Dont Want To Talk About It has done wonders for my mental health
#its nice just being able to tell people “im not okay! please dont focus too much on me tho!” and have them respect it#instead of doing things that will trigger me bc they are uncomfortable w the fact that im not okay#i deeply appreciate others sitting in their discomfort/holding the discomfort with me instead of comforting me#and like i get that ppl who offer space or time or comforts are trying to care for me but tbh its not welcome most of the time#bc when I'm upset often times it triggers deep emotional pain that only i can really manage by taking time to sit and calm down and Feel#(bc if not it becomes a flashback instead of Feelings from being Triggered) and having my attention diverted is actually distressing for me#bc i have to be grounded in very specific ways also that i just dont usually have the energy to explain bc like... i know how to do it?#and like also. i can just be Not okay. it doesnt have to be a Thing for me to acknowledge it#iderk what the point of this tag ramble is#im just like. really glad ive found people who understand that im not Avoidant just bc i have different needs bc of how my nervous system i#also if its not clear: please do not offer comforts for this. i am handling my own feelings and issues i just kinda wanna talk about it#also reminding myself its okay to not want to be comforted and that doesnt mean im Wrong or Bad or Resistant or Harming myself#(also ngl having a therapist who understands that certain coping skills may never go away but can be modified to be more useful is LIFE#CHANGING. DO YOU KNOW HOW FREEING IT WAS TO HEAR SOMEONE WHO ISNT CRAZY SAY “i can see how [these things] can be distressing and if you wan#to stop doing them we can explore new coping skills - AND if the distress from these coping skills is shame related we can work through it#and see what happens and its okay if you come out the other side using the same coping skills with a better understanding of yourself “#when most of my life every coping skill ive ever engaged in has been moralized (esp by therapists) and attempted to be beaten out of me.)#also I'm saying “comfort me” thru this bc even tho it's not actually comforting TO me when ppl do this ik thats usually their intent
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can't lie g/omens fans are starting to piss me off
#cant rlly talk bc i watched it too like#but i cant imagine being so attached to a show that you are SOO desperate for s3 that you don't seem to care that one of the creators has#multiple extremely credible allegations against him. which when they were revealed a lot of his long term fanbase reacted by saying#'yeah that tracks there were rumours about him for years' like hello?????#are you really so desperate for a ship portrayed by two straight men and written by a straight creep to become canon??#remember when people tried to discredit the allegations by saying the timing was suspicious wrt the uk election. wild#also WHY did it take so long for mainstream media outlets to report on it. so weird i wanna know what happened there#like as far as i can see the bbc still hasn't reported on it???#which is crazy atp. he's not a household name but his work was successful and a lot of people would probably have heard of go or coraline#okay so i wrote this post and then googled and found out he'd been fired from the show. which GOOD#and then saved this to the drafts bc i figured it wasn't relevant anymore#but then i went into the tag and saw the fucking destiel meme meme saying 'we're not getting a full season :(' FUCK OFF OMG#the man has such credible allegations against him that even big corporations are refusing to employ him again#and the reaction is 'but we no longer get six hours of tv' oh my god#it's so late and im so tired maybe i won't be so annoyed about this after a full night's sleep#unlikely tho
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