#gift gotten! little sun and moon pin

[sunshineram]

for letting him talk about all his trinkets theyve gifted you one of em :) @brosif40

[cipher-the-sidhe]

Based on @pure-plum’s prompt: First gifts between Sun, Moon, and the diver.

(I also want to do that other prompt, but haven’t gotten to it 👀)

What the Tide Keeps AU, Moon-centric

word count: 1,984

You have a shelf in your apartment dedicated to the growing collection of gifts Sun has given you. A few tiny, beautiful shells he’d managed to save when they washed into his enclosure with the tide. The long, pristine flight feathers of a seagull that had gotten a little too close to the surface of the water. Then, once he’d been able to get out into open water they’d evolved. Bits of sun-bleached coral, sparking sea glass, and even a single, gleaming pearl that he’d presented to you with a look of deepest adoration.

They all sit neatly arranged, along with an over-exposed polaroid selfie you’d taken with the golden mer. It makes you smile every time you see it.

Another shelf sits blank on the other side of your bed, save for a blurry photo of your other charge taken from above, swimming through a patch of fading sunlight. Moon hasn’t seemed interested in gift-giving the way Sun is, but you feel like it’d be favoritism not to have a place for him here, the way you do his counterpart.

That’s not to say there hasn’t been progress. Moon has come a long way from the snarling, snapping creature that you’d first met. He seems to trust you now, at least. Well, for the most part. He still has a tendancy to shy away from your touch, outside of medical care, which he holds himself ridigly still for in a way that makes your heart clench in mourning for the abuse he and Sun have had ot endure.

He doens’t seem to have a probem touching you, on the other hand. Quite the opposite. Which is why you’re currently pinned under the heavy length of a rough, shark-like tail drapped over your lap, with a blue-black and silver arm wrapped around your middle, trapping your arms down at your sides. Moon has your back pressed snug against his chest and his chin resting against the top of your head, a low, constant sound somewhere between a purr and a growl vibrating his chest. You strain your neck trying to catch a glimpse at his expression. His ruby eyes are narrowed into thin, sleepy slits but you can see that his pupils are angled away from you. Well, until he senses you staring at him. Then, he glares at you with a grumble and his maw opens in a wide yawn, showing off his dual rows of razor-sharp shark teeth. He presses his chin into your hair, forcing you to look down and away from his face. You give in with a good humored huff. Best not to push your luck with him.

It’s an hour past sunrise, long past his usual bedtime. Sun has made himself comfortable on his usual flat rock near the shore of the cove, warming himself in the first golden rays of morning. You fight the urge to stroke Moon’s tail where it rests over your lap (making your legs fall asleep more every minute, but you allow it), knowing that, unlike Sun’s smoothe scales, Moon’s rough skin would cut up your hands like sandpaper. Instead, you lean your head back against him and hum softly.

“ You’re up pretty late, Moonshine. Something on your mind?”

He gives no indication that he heard you. That’s okay. You know to be patient with him.

It’s another several minutes before he responds at all, and even then it’s not with words. He shifts with arm holding you up to your shoulder, flopping backwards and taking you down with him, rolling onto his side in the sand and curling around you with a deep sigh that he muffles in your hair. His other hand in pressed in a fist against the sand, stretched out in front of the two of you.

You chuckle and pat the arm holding you in a steel trap against the midnight mer.

“Moon, honey, as cozy as this is you really shouldn’t fall asleep out of the water like this. We don’t want you getting any more sunburns.”

You keep your voice playful, but there’s an underlying concern you don’t fully manage to mask. It’s hard not to think about the weeks of painful treatment he and Sun had had to endure for the blistering sunburns they’d suffered. Moon’s had been worse by far, being a creature not meant for hours of prolonged sun exposure like his counterpart. There are still scars healing on his shoulders and back, months later.

Moon grumbles and coils closer over you, his tail fin slapping the water where it rests in an agitation you don’t understand the cause for.

“Hush,” he rasps into your hair, claws plucking thoughtlessly at the collar of your shirt in a familiar, resltess fidget.

Your brow furrows. Something is clearly bothering him, but what? You’d thought the night had gone really well, actually. From the time you’d shown up at midnight to now Moon had seemed to be in a remarkably good mood, relaxed and playful (meaning you’d gotten yanked into the water more than a couple of times, but hearing his hissing laughter had been well worth it). It wasn’t until shortly before sunrise, when he’d usually be curling up in a shaded part of the cove over a bed of soft sea grass, that he’d started acting agitated. He wouldn’t look you in the eyes, even though he became especially clingy. And while his verbal responses were usually pretty short and clipped, certianly less verbose than Sun, even that had been reduced to only one or two word replies, when he deigned to reply with words at all. He didn’t seem to be mad at you, but his sudden withdrawl is making you nervous none the less. Had you done something wrong?

You debate with yourself which is better: to relent and indulge whatever mood this is for a while longer, or to gently encourage him to talk. You don’t want to push him too much, but if you don’t nudge him now and then you don’t know if he’ll progress.

You decide to push, just a little.

You stretch your hand out towards the fist he has extended from you two and press your fingertips featherlight against the underside of his wrist in gentle encouragement.

“Moon?”

In a blink, his hand captures yours, one finger and his thumb pressing the back of your hand into the sand while the other two fingers stay curled closed. You feel the sharp edge of soemthing in his hand pressing into your palm, just barely, but you can’t focus on it for long because Moon cranes his head down and nips at your ear, sharp teeth barely scraping your skin but the clipped snap of his teeth right by your ear making you yelp anyways.

“M-Moon!”

His gravelly chuckle cast moist, salt-scented breath over your ear and blood rushes to your cheeks in a furious burn. You grumble, indignant and embarassed but secretly relieved to hear his laughter.

“That was entirely unncessary.”

“Pushy. Nosy.” His voice is a teasing purr nuzzled against the side of your head, despite his words, and he unfurls the rest of his fingers to lace his with yours, his much larger webbed hand dwarfing yours and completely obscuring the small object he presses into your palm as he drags your joined hands through the sand closer to you both.

You bite your tongue to keep from sputtering at the onslaught of unexpected affection, but you can feel your face heating more. You squeeze his hand, feeling the edges of the thing in your palm. It’s sharp, and feels triangular.

“Only a little. I was woried about you, you giant fishstick,” you huff, but the smile is audible in your voice.

Moon’s answering laugh is a raspy wheeze and you yelp, flailing a bit, as he rolls over so he’s on his back again and you’re laying right on top of him, held fast by his unrelenting grip over your waist. He grins up at you with a bear-trap maw and mischief in his sleepy crimson eyes.

You rest your chin on his chest and squint at him in suspicion.

“Whatcha got here,” you ask, giving the hand he still has entwined with his own a little shake.

His smile strains a bit at the edges, but he presses the mystery object into your palm and slide his hand away from your’s, looping it around your waist to join his other arm. His eyes soften looking at you, pupils fading until they’re almost indistinguishable from the brighter red of the rest of his eye.

“For you,” he says, blinking slowly and a little out of synch. You feel the corner of your mouth twitch into a smile at how cute his sleepy expression is before you register what he actually said.

You wrap your fingers around the little object and pull it close to inspect it. “For me?”

In your palm is a sharp, pearly shark tooth, curved and perfect and familiar. You glance back up at Moon and he flashes you a grin full of two rows of the very same kind of teeth. You mouth pops open in a little ‘o’ of surprise, lookign back and forth between the tooth in your hand and his face.

“A gift,” he expalins, and the claws on your back fidget, betraying his quiet anxiety.

You run your thumb over the smoothe, shiny surface of the tooth, admiring it. “This is one of your’s?”

Claws gently tap against your spine, and he nods, watching your reaction. You don’t need to play it up at all. You beam up at him in pure, honest delight, clasping the tooth close to your chest.

“It’s beautiful! Thank you, Moonshine.”

He only grumbles, looking away from you, but you see the way the white frills that frame his face perk up and shiver in delight, and you can hear the water stirr at the twitch of his tail fin.

Without warning, Moon shifts his grip on you and slide you off of him and into the sand, flipping so that he’s looming over you, the nightcap-like appendage on the back of his head draping over his shoulder and swaying next to your cheek with a faint glow. He grins down at you and chuckles at your surprised expression before reaching a clawed finger up and bopping you on the tip of the nose with it.

“It’s time to sleep,” he hums,  tilting his head to-and-fro so that the bulb on his appendage taps you on the cheek with each movement. You playfully bat it away and he grins.

“Nighty night, Moon.” You smile up at him, clutching his gift close to your chest.

His expression upturns and he taps his forehead against your’s (a first, and it makes your mind blue screen for a solid minute) before leaning away and pulling himself back into the water. He lashes his tail fin as he turns to go, spraying you with a splash of salt water. You sptter and toss a handful of sand after him, but you can’t stiffle your laughter. The tooth feels warm in your hand.

That night when you’re crawling into bed you glance over at the shelves you have set aside for your mers. Sun’s little treasure trove of carefully, lovingly selected gifts almost crowd out his shelf, and you heart swells with warmth and appreciation as you realize you may need to put up another shelf for his gifts. On the other side is Moon’s shelf, and sitting right in the center, right in front of the photo of him, is one of his own teeth. He’s never been much for gift-giving, for finding just the right trinkets to show his affection. But this was something of his, only his, and he gave it to you.

You fall asleep with the stupidest smile on your face.

[springfallendeer]

More Mer!AU tings uwu some spicy things

Actually no, just casual pinning after yn pls and thx

(Your gifting lore really made me swoon)

Hmm. Choices. Choices. @juicyyyboxxx enjoy~

In the weeks following the incident with Sun, you had come to realize a few things.

Those things being that the friendly, helpful behavior of the Poly-viathans was not entirely as innocent as it seemed. You had been foolish to assumed as much.

All of those times that the creatures had been bringing you food and resources, they had not merely been trying to help you. They had been trying to provide for you. To care for you.

Or in other words, they were flirting with you.

Their gifts were some sort of a mating display. One that had flown over your head because of your own foolish human perspective.

But Sun and Moon are not human. For as intelligent as they are, they simply do not exist in the same mindset as you. They have been shaped by the realities of a world that constantly tests their ability to survive.

And what was the ultimate goal of survival?

Reproduction.

These strange alien creatures had, for whatever reason, come to the conclusion that you were a desirable mate. You had no idea why. You were small and frail, compared to them. Not to mention completely different from them from a biological aspect.

Yet here they were. Bringing you little gifts. Delivering to you things that they knew you needed or wanted, because that was how they were conditioned to flirt with you.

And now you knew that they were flirting with you. Because they had seemingly realized that you were unfamiliar with their seduction tactics.

That was why Sun had jumped you the way he did. You had been reciprocating his advanced, on some level. But you had never actually flirted back. So he had gotten bold and made a move on you to, and you had accepted his advances then.

Everything had gone so fast. Everything had gotten messy. But it would be a lie to say you didn't enjoy it.

Just as it would be a lie to say that you didn't find their flirting endearing, in a way. Strange as it was, it was very sweet.

You can't help but smile as Sun swims over to you, a fish securely held in his claws. He doesn't offer it to you immediately. Rather, he swims in a small circle around you, spinning about a bit as he does.

He's showing off his body. Displaying himself as a healthy, able bodied male. He fans his long, luxurious fins. Sunlight dances across his scales. His body seemingly glitters like fire and gold as he dances through the light. All the while he trills at you sweetly.

He brushes against you with his tail as he draws closer. Until finally he comes to a stop beside you.

His body has twisted and bent so that he arches around you. He holds the fish close to his chest, sweetly smiling at you.

This is all part of the courtship. You realize it now. He shows shows off his skill as a hunter by catching you a meal of a suitable size. Then he further shows off his physique by performing an underwater acrobatic dance around you. Then he waits for your approach. He waits for your approval.

Approve you do. Though you don't need the fish, you accept it. He willingly relinquishes it to you, trilling louder as he does so. He's excited. You secure it in your inventory to assure that it won't escape, and he watches as you do so.

Then he ushers closer to you, breaking that small distance between your bodies. He wraps his arms around your smaller body, pulling you flush against him.

He shares his body heat with you. Comfortable and warm. A stark contrast to the chill of the surrounding water.

You feel his chest vibrate as he squeaks and whistles. The pattern he uses is very specific. You haven't figured out if its his way of calling your name, or if its his way of saying 'I love you'. Either way, you enjoy it.

He nuzzles the top of your head as he makes these alluring sounds. You respond in turn by teaching him something about human courtship.

Risky as it is, you pry off your breathing apparatus to expose your face.

Kissing is such a simple thing, and yet it seems that his kind don't partake in it. They nuzzle, and they lick, and they use their teeth to scrape against each other's skin. But they do not kiss.

Still, he seems to enjoy when you press your lips against him. He recognizes it as a sign of affection.

He's a little overeager in returning the kiss, but you don't mind. You like the way he presses his mouth against yours. You like the way his lips seem to vibrate slightly as he continues to click and trill. He sings his enthusiasm to you as you walk him through the process of a passionate kiss.

If not for the fact that you had to breath, you would have kissed him for longer. But you're inevitably forced to break the kiss to put your breathing apparatus back on.

He lets out one last trill before letting go of you.

Just like that he bolts away. Either intent on catching himself a meal, or intent on finding something else to return with. So that he can flirt with you all over again.

Regardless, you're left with the feeling of his warmth. With the taste of saltwater, and his lips, upon your tongue. Your blush hidden only by the mask that you wear to allow you to breathe as you explore these watery depths.

[chasingrainbcws]

@truearchangel sent: They were doing bonding exercises. Though typically Michael does not partake in Charlie’s redemption exercises (he’s an angel he doesn’t have to) today was different. He did wait till everyone was done, so he could watch and observe properly. But once it was over and the mess was being cleaned up, he made her a little something while he helped organize the hotel. Everyone else ran off the moment she dismissed them, but Michael stayed to help. He felt it was rude, she does all the work and has to pick all of it up too? That certainly wasn’t virtuous of them, but slow steps. That’s what she likes to say. Slow, meaningful steps, to make the progress she wants. Michael used the left over chain, gold foil and a bit of beads to make a small little hairpin. It wasn’t much, and it was shaped like a birds wing. The chain wrapped around the paper he cut it out of and colored a soft vibrant red like her clothes with a golden outline from the foil. Being made of paper he had to solidify it somehow. So he pushed his magic into it until it became a solid object weighted in his hand. He felt it over, checked it looked alright, and then turned to Charlie. Turning to the Princess of Hell he stepped up to her and blocked her path. “Can you lean down for me?” He waits patiently, for his niece to comply and then he reached up to slid the pin into her hair. “There. I’ll take the trash out for you, relax a bit. You did a good job today.”

It had been an exhausting day, but such a rewarding one ! She'd stirred with the sun, and spent the entire morning preparing for the day's bonding exercise --- arts and crafts ! She had purchased dozens of different bits and baubles for the participants to make whatsoever they desired ------ the only rule being that it must be a gift for someone, and that it couldn't be mean. She's never been very good at setting strict legislations... perhaps Michael could be of assistance with that. Everyone had done so well, and they'd seemed to have a decent time doing so ----- once they'd gotten started, anyway. The hours of tireless organization, of setting up the largest table in the dining hall with all sorts of foils and strings and ribbons and beads and stickers and glitter and gemstones and feathers and crafting paper and ----- ... take a breath, Charlie --- it had all been worth it ! She hadn't expected anyone to stick around and help her clean up... much less Michael, but she was grateful for the assistance.

--- She also hadn't expected him to present her with a gift.

Blood-moon eyes draw wide as she stands stock-still, looking up at the archangel in pure shock and confusion as the beautiful pin is slipped under the heavy fringe of her side-swept bang... and helps to lift it up, keeping it out of her face. It's... gorgeous --- and she can hardly contain her emotion between pursed, trembling lips pulled in a smile, eyes shining with adoration, gratitude, joy, and unshed tears.

❝ --- I... --- thank you, Michael... thank you so much. I love it ! ❞ She'll never take it off... --- now she'll have to make something for him !

[heikablackstern]

The Christmas Episode

With Christmas, it's nice to receive presents from the ones you love. But what about giving presents? There's something about seeing the ones you care about react to a gift you specifically chose for them.

Well to robots aren't any different as you give both Sun and Moon a present on Christmas Eve.

You weren’t entirely surprised that during the holidays, Fazbear Entertainment went all out with the decorations. They started popping up the day after Thanksgiving (how typical) in waves. The main lobby had a massive Christmas tree that was littered with colorful changing lights as the ornaments that hung from the fake branches sported every animatronics face; you even caught sight of the S.T.A.F.F. bots having their own ornament. There were large ornaments hanging from the ceiling in the band's main colors along with the classic Christmas colors. There was garland, mistletoe, and additional ribbons displayed along the walls of the entire area; you even found Christmas presents strewed about the place. Within the main lobby, the gift shop had switched out their normal merchandise with holiday themed attire to better fit the holiday season. You even found that the animatronics were starting to be devoured in the holiday season as their instruments and attire slowly started to change.

Freddy was wearing a Santa hat that covered his top hat, with a little golden bell at the end of it that flopped every time he walked. You knew the top hat was there because the bear showed you, apparently it helped keep the hat in perfect shape atop his head. It was a cute addition that drew a giggle from you every time you saw him walk by, finding that bell faintly jingle with his large steps. What made his look a little more funny was the fact that he was instructed to wear a Santa beard and a red jacket, making him look like the jolly fellow so many children loved during Christmas. Freddy had already gotten so used to the beard that he started stroking it whenever he was lost in thought or simply out of habit. Of course they would make Freddy, the leader of the band, dress as Santa Claus–he certainly had the personality to match.

Monty didn’t seem thrilled with the dress change from what you could tell. Maybe it was because he wanted to be dressed like Santa Claus or because he no longer looked as intimidating as before, his costume nearly ruining his image. Monty, the poor gator, was dressed to look more like Frosty the Snowman than a vicious gator. His star-shaped sunglasses were replaced with snowman shaped ones instead, with the lens being white rather than purple to match the snowman. He had a top hat like Freddy except it was much bigger and had a flower pinned to the material, though… it rested on top of his hair instead of pushing it down. You heard from Roxy that he was supposed to have a scarf but it had been ripped to shreds the moment management gave it to him. The only other thing he kept to fit the theme was a wooden smoke pipe that he wore between shows, when in his room, or whenever he was spotted walking around the Pizzaplex. Bubbles would come out of it on occasion yet you weren't sure if it was because of Monty or if the pipe was programmed to spit bubbles out. It was cute but you would never tell him that if you wanted to stay alive.

Roxy resembled that of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, she didn’t need any additional costume features when her black muzzle was now painted white. Except that didn’t stop management from adding a few more touches to the wolf’s overall appearance. Her makeup was changed to a lovely shade of red that matched her new nose. Her outfit was completely changed, replacing her red metallic clothes with brown and white, the white matching the rest of her stomach. The purple leg and wrist warmers were changed to the same shade of brown as her claws were now painted black. You assumed the black was to resemble hooves instead of claws but… she was still a wolf just in deer’s clothing. Roxy didn’t comment on the costume change but her smile certainly brightened when a child realized who she was supposed to be. 

Then there was Chica who was dressed like a Christmas elf. She had a Santa hat like Freddy except hers was green instead of the bright red. It replaced her bow but hid the top of her hair entirely. The earrings were changed into 2d shaped presents as the makeup painted along her face was now a deep green to match the hat. Her pink clothes were replaced with a green jacket, similar to Freddy’s except there were bells hanging along the white fluffed collar. Her leg warmers were changed to striped red and white stockings. Like Freddy, she seemed rather pleased with the change as she hung around Freddy and pretended to be an elf. 

Children were enjoying the Christmas spirit that started to waft through the air while the parents looked more annoyed. You could understand why, the new toys and clothes that were out for the holidays certainly caught the eyes of any child but were a tad bit expensive. But then again, this was Fazbear Entertainment. They would do anything for a pretty penny, even if that meant using the kids to convince their parents to buy them something. 

You weren’t given any changes in clothes or added accessories when the holiday changes were being added. But you were not out of the woods. Before one of your shifts a package had arrived at your door from management itself. There was a small typed letter inside that explained that, for the remainder of the month, you were going to wear the new uniform. With a grimace, you threw the new set of clothes on and headed into work.

You had a feeling that Sun and Moon would get a kick out of your new uniform that you were forced to wear. It was an ugly Christmas sweater that fitted the daycare’s theme rather than the main bands, having Sun’s face on it with the word “Nice” written in a cartoonish style; it even matched Sun’s colors. You were a little peeved that Moon’s face wasn’t paired with the sunny animatronic but there was very little you could do to change it. They also gave you a Santa hat with a bell on the end that matched the striped pattern of Sun’s pants.

Yeah they were going to tease you about this till the end of time.

The only plus side of receiving the ugly sweater and hat to match was that you only had to wear it on Christmas Eve rather than right after Thanksgiving like the rest of the animatronics. You wondered if Sun and Moon finally had some holiday changes implemented into the daycare, finding that they were the only robots in the building lacking any holiday spirit to their appearance. There were, however, decorations within the entire daycare but they weren’t as obnoxious or evident as the rest of the building. It was a healthy amount and one that you could easily tolerate from day to day.

Your car is parked relatively close to the front doors of the Pizzaplex as you make your way through the front doors, a bit shocked to find the building full of screaming children and tired parents. The STAFF bot behind the counter takes notice of you as you give it a soft smile and a tiny wave; the bot has been clocking you in for the past several months now which saves you time and hassle. 

The Daycare is just as busy as the rest of the building as parents bring their little ones and sign them in for the day. You catch a few children sliding down the colorful slide into the ball pit where they’re greeted by Sun. A smile stretches across your face as you walk through the set of doors parents go to pick their children up by the end of the day. Your things are settled down on the security desk, that being a rather old and worn backpack that holds all your things… including two small presents you’ve wrapped for Sun and Moon. You would give them their presents later, when there were less children around so as to not upset them they weren’t getting anything from you. The last thing you wanted was a crying child leaving the Daycare on Christmas Eve.

The moment the solar animatronic catches sight of you, you give him an overly obnoxious wave that matches his growing smile. Yet he can’t come over and greet you like he’d want since the children were flocking to him in waves. They were all excited for tonight, at least those that celebrated Christmas, because Santa Claus was coming to town. You shared their excitement for the holiday just in a different way, wanting to give presents rather than receive. Hence the two presents lingering within your bag.

“I’m a bit surprised to see you here on holiday sweetheart!” Sun catches you off guard, nearly scaring you out of your sweater. When he sees the uniform is different, his white eyes shine with glee. “But I must say… I do love the sweater.” He gives you a playful wink and you roll your eyes, trying to ignore the warmth that floods to your cheeks.

You frown at him, “Not another word.”

“Oh but you won’t let me mention the hat? I can tell you, for certain, that Moon loves it!” You give him another glare, wanting to keep your dignity and pride intact (except those things left the moment you started working there). 

His rays shift to the right and settle once more as he leans on the desk between the two of you. “So what are you doing here today? Shouldn’t you be celebrating with your family?”

“I’m seeing them tomorrow when the Pizzaplex is closed plus I’ll be making extra for working today since it’s a holiday–like a Christmas present to myself.” You shrug your shoulders, “It’s not a big deal.”

It’s clear to you that Sun doesn’t really like your answer, his rays remaining still as his hands fidget on the desk, but he doesn’t tell you this. Instead the children come rushing to his side and pull him away from you by his pant leg. He gives you a pitiful look, not wanting to part ways, but you wave him off. You’re now on the clock which means there are plenty of things you need to get done before the daycare closes. 

The list isn’t taxing or as busy as it usually is; Fazbear Entertainment was cruel but for the sake of the Christmas spirit they were being rather kind. You needed to restock the cabinets, clean up the craft section of the Daycare, and make sure both Sun and Moon were wearing their holiday clothes. 

Holiday clothes? That can’t be right… You look through the email again and sure enough, at the very bottom, it tells you to dress them for the holiday cheer. Sun would be easier to keep dressed, Moon would probably rip anything off that you’d try to force him to wear. Which meant you needed to keep things simple, easy. 

Lucky for you, it was rather cold and snowy outside so your animatronic friend could borrow your wintery things for the time being. There was less of a chance of Moon tearing your things to shreds than what management was going to provide. You grab your jacket you shrugged off the moment you stepped into the Daycare and reach into your pockets, pulling out a scarf, a hat, a pair of mittens. They weren’t exactly Christmas-y but they were going to have to do.

“Hey Sunny?” You look up from your warm accessories to find the animatronic asking them about their winter plans. It was an endearing sight to see the children’s eyes light up as they told Sun about their letters they wrote to Santa, what they hope to get on Christmas morning. You remember the countless letters you wrote yourself when you were their age and how excited you were to open presents the following morning. “Sun?” You call again as you walk around the desk. This time the robot hears you and gives him your full attention. He ushers the kids to go play as he takes wide strides to you.

“Yessssss sunshine?” He gives you a wide smile.

“Would you do me a favor?” 

Sun taps at his chin, “Hmmm that depends, what do I get in return?” 

“A hug?” There’s a faint smile forming on your lips as you hold your arms out wide. But Sun doesn’t give you a hug, instead he pokes your nose and his grin only widens. You didn’t like that look.

“As much as we love your hugs, we were hoping for something better as a bribe.” 

You’re a bit surprised by his smug attitude as his eyes gleam in delight at your faulty plan. Usually a hug would be enough to get Sun to do anything. It seemed like the two AI’s were aware of management’s new rules for today and knew exactly what you were trying to get them to do. Which was strange, they were such sticklers for following the rules…

Your eyes glance at your backpack that sits next to both you and Sun. The only bribe you could possibly think of would be the presents that remain hidden in your bag. But you wanted it to be a surprise and Sun was rather an impatient robot. Which was a surprise since he worked with kids every day. 

You sigh, “I can’t tell you exactly what else I could bribe you guys with but I know that you’d like it.”

“And what would you need from us if we did what you wanted?” 

You show him the email management has sent you even though you’re certain he already knows the rule. “I just need you to wear some wintery things so that you fit with the Christmas theme,” you pocket your phone and hold out your winter stuff–mittens and all. “If both of you keep these on until my shift ends then I’ll give you something as a reward.” 

Sun’s rays spin, “A reward?!” You’re lifted off the ground in seconds as Sun begins twirling around in circles with you in his hands. Your things are dropped and scattered around the two of you but a wild bubbly laugh can’t help but escape you at the childish behavior coming from your friend. 

“Alright! Alright! Alright!” A sense of dizziness overtakes you when Sun places you back on your feet and begins picking up your things. “So is that a yes?” 

“It certainly is friend! So long as you keep your promise and give us this reward you speak of then Moon and I shall wear these things until the end of your shift!”

You tilt your head, “And Moon won’t rip my things apart?” 

Sun’s smile twitches, like it’s forced, but becomes genuine once more. He doesn’t answer you but throws on your attire instead. There’s a dull look in his eyes, like he’s not quite there, as the hat is secured to the top of his head and both scarf and mittens are pulled on. Yet the smile that pulls on his face seems sharper and more threatening rather than friendly.

“So long as you keep your promise, your things will be fine.” He says nothing more as he goes back to the screaming children. A shudder can’t help but roll down your spin as you watch him quietly. 

That was… odd. But a deal was a deal.

******

Sun kept the kids busy for most of your shift, the only time you were dragged into one of their games was to partake in a few crafts. You helped a few kids color and decorate their Santa’s, gluing cotton balls around the mouth or scribbling in shades of red for the hat. Some of these items were meant to be hung on their parents' Christmas tree, others preferred them on the fridge, and a handful were hoping Santa would take theirs back to the north pole. Both you and Sun assured the kids that these wishes would come true so long as they behaved; it wasn’t entirely a lie, maybe a bit selfish, but behaved kids were the best kids. 

When you weren’t partaking in the crafts you were doing the rest of your checklist management sent you. The cabinets were filled, certain areas were cleaned, and Sun (and Moon) were dressed to fit the holiday spirit. Sun made sure to be mindful of his rays whenever he became excited, keeping the ones your hat sat on tucked beneath his faceplate. It was sweet that they were staying true to their word because even you were starting to get a little antsy about giving them their presents. Though, you weren’t going to admit that to them. Sun would bug you every hour on the hour about this so-called bribe you were promising them. The entire ordeal was turning into a little game between you.

“Is it glitter glue?” 

“Why would it be glitter glue when you have a cabinet full of that?”

“What about some colorful paper? Can never have too much of that!” 

You chuckle, “True but no.” His rays would sink, like he was sulking, and you can’t help but boop his nose. “Maybe my bribe was patience all along…” It was a weak answer yet one that made the animatronic go rigid. Those white eyes holding faint white pupils shrink into pinpricks as they look you dead in the eyes. But Sun wasn’t looking at you, he was looking through you.

His head tilts to the side, faceplate shifting with it, as his eyes narrow with glee. “For your sake sunshine, I hope it isn’t.” 

Your heart can’t help but pick up at the vague threat Sun tossed to you, the smile that was on your face falling slightly. So, with a forced laugh, you try to save the conversation. “As much as I would love to see your threat out,” One of Sun’s rays on the side of his quickly retreat before being shoved out again, “I promise you it’s an actual object and not a life lesson.” 

Sun let’s out a stream of air from his voice box, mimicking the sound of a sigh in relief. He wipes at his forehead as if he were sweating from how nervous he was, his rays doing a short jitter around his head. “Well that’s certainly a relief! We were afraid that you had been lying.”

“Oh? And why would that be?” 

“Because, friend, you tend to… bend the rules a bit in your favor.” 

You pull at the bottom of the sweater, stretching out Sun’s face and the word stitched into the material. “Now would a rule breaker wear something like this to work?”

Sun chuckles, “Oh you misunderstand! We didn’t call you a rule breaker–”

“That’s what it seems like.” He places a finger on your lips to hush you.

“We were simply stating a fact about your behavior around here.” 

You roll your eyes and turn back to the cabinet you were stocking moments prior. But instead of filling it with more contents, you take an armful of blankets out and shove them into Sun’s chassis. 

“It’s almost nap time and you haven’t set up the floor mats,” You can't help but lean in with a smug look on your face, “I’ll start bringing the pillows out and if you’re patient enough, maybe I’ll give you the reward early.”

His eyes narrow and his smile thins, “This reward is appropriate around the children, yes?”

A sudden burst of laughter escapes you as you shove him away from the security desk. Sun allows you to push him off, pleased with your reaction. If there weren’t any kids around you would’ve cursed him out until he forced you into a timeout. So you resorted to pushing him away to give you a bit of time to stop your fit of laughter and grab the pillows. 

You spare a glance at the animatronic as he begins to spread the blankets around on the open floor, finding his shoulders shaking lightly as if he were laughing. Knowing him, you’re certain he is. The pillows you grab out of the cabinet are thrown up and over your desk and onto the floor; for Sun to start pairing with matching blankets and for you to do the same. The children didn’t need to be called, knowing that most of them were already exhausted from the games and crafts they had done earlier. 

Many start picking their spots as the lights within the Daycare slowly tick off, one by one. You’re on the opposite side of the Daycare when Sun realizes there is absolutely no way he will reach you in time to claim this reward you’ve promised. Instead, he shoots you a rather twisted expression; one that’s both upset and angry with you. You can’t help yourself as you give him a tiny wave and a cheery smile to match as the lights above him go dark.

His rays quickly retract and the bright warm colors on his outfit begin to change into cool colors that fit Moon. The starry nightcap nearly pushes your own hat off of his head but a sudden jerk from the animatronic has him catch it, fixing it on top of the nightcap. The white’s in his eyes become black as a pair of red pin pricks narrow in on your form and you can’t help but swallow the lump in your throat. Yet Moon makes no sudden movements to scare you, instead the whine of a child quickly pulls him away. Those frightening eyes begin to brighten as one because white and the other red, like how they should be. 

You know you’re going to pay for hurting Sun’s feelings later. 

Which means you need to get behind the security desk as quickly as possible. You take long and quiet strides towards the desk as you catch Moon on the opposing side still, tucking in a child and wishing them goodnight. He looks more peaceful this way as a ghostly smile pulls at his sharpened teeth. When the child looks asleep, their chest slowly rising and falling, Moon’s attention suddenly snaps back to you. 

Shit.

Your footsteps only increase, knowing it’s going to be close. Between the playgrounds, you find Moon’s silhouette creeping through the darkness. It’s easy to lose sight of him within the Daycare and before you know it, you lose him entirely.

Shit x2.

This was fine. Everything was under control. You know he can’t necessarily scare you without ripping a scream from your throat. Moon wouldn’t dare to scare you if it meant waking the children up. But there were alternative methods he could resort to, though you weren’t exactly sure what that entailed. When you reached the desk there was a sudden yank against your sweater. Before you could even get a word out, a hand clamped down over your mouth before you were whisked away into the air. 

Shit x3. 

You can hear Moon chuckle behind you as he keeps a firm grip around your stomach and the hand around your mouth secure. You try to elbow, kick, or even bite his hand but those tactics won’t do much against a machine… especially someone like Moon. The two of you are carried on top of one of the playgrounds–the closest one to the children actually–before he drops you at the very top. You push yourself up and off the floor as you fix your sweater and readjust your hat, wanting nothing more than to shout at him for scaring the shit out of you. But your jaw remains tight when you turn around and find him merely inches from your face. His mismatched eyes look over your face as a lazy grin remains etched onto his faceplate. 

He looks you up and down before returning to your eyes once more, “Nice sweater.” 

As you look down at the sweater, you’re expecting to find an image of Sun on it. But, like the animatronics, your clothes have changed as well. This time the sweater is now a deep shade of blue with an image of Moon on it, the word “Naughty” scribbled underneath his face. You wanted to punch management for that one. 

“In my defense, I didn’t know that’s what it said!” You hiss. Moon doesn’t seem to care as the smile on his face only grows.

A hand suddenly finds itself blocking your vision of him and before you can ask what he thinks he’s doing, your hat is pulled over your face, earning a surprised yelp from you. “Sun isn’t very happy with you,” Moon reminds you. 

You’re not surprised, you did trick him. “I still have something to give him, to both of you, I just don’t want to upset the kids.” 

Moon’s gaze follows your gesture back down to the children, who remain still and undisturbed. The two of you could hear a few of them snoring from the top of the structure. The lunar animatronics eyes cast a faint glow over your face as you readjust the cap. 

“What is it?”

“What’s what?” You ask.

Moon’s eyes narrow at you, “The reward.” 

You frown at him and cross your arms over your chest, “I’m not telling you.” 

“I won’t tell Sun.”

Your frown deepens as you poke his nose, “That’s not fair to him.” 

His smile becomes sharp, “What isn’t fair is that you lied.” Moon’s head tilts to the side, the bell at the end of his nightcap jingling from the movement. “That makes you a rule breaker.” 

Oh good, this argument again.

“I’m not a rule breaker, I told Sun that if he was patient then I would give him his gift. Seems to me like neither of you are patient… like children.” Moon’s eye twitches in irritation, you’re definitely pushing it already. But you weren’t scared around Moon, not usually. Those days were long gone. Yet that didn’t stop a pit from forming at the bottom of your stomach and growing with every passing second. “I’ll let you keep guessing, like Sun was, and if you get it right I’ll give you your present. But!” You point a finger at him, “You can’t tell Sun what it is or it’ll ruin his gift. Deal?” 

“...Fine.” 

“Great, now help me down.” 

A look of glee crosses his face as the wire descends from the ceiling and hooks on his back. But he doesn’t grab you, instead the wire pulls him up and into the rafters above, leaving you to fend for yourself. A string of curses escape you as you sulk to the edge of the playground, starting your climb back down. 

You hated when he did that. 

Your descent down the colorful, yet soft structure, took a lot longer than you had hoped. But you managed fine all the same. Moon was waiting for you at the bottom and a part of you wanted to let go of the structure altogether except it seemed like you were treading on thin ice already. Not wanting to push your luck, you helped yourself instead. Your foot touches the foam-like mat and Moon quickly begins guessing.

“Nightlights.” 

“Thanks for helping me down.”

His head clicks to the side, “Night. Lights.”

You roll your eyes and shake your head, “They’re not night lights.” 

“Is there more than one for each of us?”

“Technically no? I mean, you’re both getting the same thing but for different reasons.” 

Moon remains quiet as he follows you back to the desk, thinking about what that hint meant. Both of you know that he could easily steal your backpack and take the presents, knowing that’s where they hid. Yet this game was fun for him and Sun as the two of them thought about what they were both going to receive from you. 

As you round the desk and take a seat, the hinges creaking beneath your weight, Moon perches himself atop of the desk. “Blankets?” 

A smile tugs at your face, “What do you guys need blankets for?” 

“Not us,” he points over his shoulder, “for the children.” 

“The gift is for you, not the kids,” you remind him softly. It was sweet that they continued to think about the children that came through the Daycare but it was also a tad disheartening. “Did you guys think the gift would be used by the kids instead of yourself this whole time?” 

Moon’s silence answers your question and you can’t help but frown at that. It was rather unfair as to how management and the rest of the company treated both Sun and Moon. You knew the two of them had a rocky history but so did the entire company; their records were far from squeaky clean and everyone knew it. 

“A candle,” Moon suddenly blurts out.

You snort, “A candle?”

“People give candles.”

“They do,” you nod in agreement, “but I’m pretty sure candles are forbidden in the Daycare.” 

Moon turns away, looking at the children to make sure they're still asleep, “They are.” His eyes find yours again but he remains quiet for several beats before asking “Are we close?”

You shake your head, “I’m afraid you couldn’t be further.” Those eyes somehow narrow at you. It was still confusing as to how they were able to express so much emotion with very little movement from their metallic faceplate. They were different from the band members, after all. “Would you like a hint?” You offer; the lunar animatronic gives a curt nod. “They say that those that hear it believe.” 

“That’s not a hint.” 

You shrug, “I never said it was going to be a helpful one.”

A static like sound emits from his voice box that sounds like a growl mixed with a groan. Moon readjusts himself atop the desk, resting his head in one hand with the other quietly tapping against his leg mechanically. He’s discussing your hint with Sun, you can tell. His eyes seem a bit dimmer and his movements seem more like a program than a genuine human-like motion. It would be easy for others to miss, to go unnoticed, but you’ve been working with them for quite some time now that the motion was an indicator to an internal change. 

“The hint relates to an old kids movie, if that helps.” The lights in his eyes glow a bit brighter as they find you again. There’s a faint smile that tugs at the corner of his mouth.

“That does help,” he admits, “is it from an animated film?” You narrow your eyes and lean back into your chair, arms folding. 

“Perhaps,” You answer.

“What is it that needs to be believed in?” 

Smart question. There was no way you could give the animatronic a straight answer without revealing what the presents were. Your jaw goes tight as you remain quiet in your seat, trying to figure out how to answer the question but also dodge it. While you were excited to give them the present, you didn’t actually want them to guess what it was. So you’ll be honest.You shake your head and pull two fingers across your lips, zipping them shut. Moon’s shoulders sag and his eyes dim again. 

It was beginning to dawn on you that both Sun and Moon would be able to tell if you were lying. They could read anyone’s vitals and, if you remembered correctly, when a person lied their heart rate changed–sped up. Which meant that lying or tricking them was clearly off the table. Even if you pulled one hell of a poker face they would easily see through it. The wonders of technology. 

You do the last task on your list that management didn’t tell you to do but knew it was an unspoken rule. Since Moon was reestablished into the Daycare and nap time was now in the dark again, that meant you had to file a report daily about his behavior. Did he show any signs of aggression? At any point, when the lights were off, did you feel unsafe? Did the animatronic threaten you at any point? The list of questions went on and on and on. You typically answered them truthfully but, on the rare occasion where Moon had scared you, you did lie to management. It was a dumb choice–unsafe–but you’ve grown fond of the two AI’s and they to you. 

Moon pokes your cheek, pulling you from your thoughts. You hold up a finger as you finish typing out the last answer on the list before turning the bulky computer off and giving him your full, undivided attention. “Is it clothes?” 

You hum in response. One could argue that their present were clothes but you, personally, didn’t see them as that. A shake from your head gives them your answer. “I don’t consider it clothes, but it can be worn?” Your eyebrow furrows, “I mean I’d like to think you guys will wear it daily but it’ll be your call.”

“New ribbons?” To emphasize his point, Moon holds out a wrist with a red ribbon tied to it. There’s a white cotton ball tied to it as well, similar to the one that’s tied to the one at the end of his nightcap. There would be no reason to give them new ribbons when the ones they wore held no tatters or stray threads. 

“No, but you’re getting warmer.” 

He’s about to give you another guess when the sound of a child muffling a cry is heard. Both of you snap your attention to the children sleeping, finding none of them awake, but there is one that’s wrestling with their blanket and holding a look of discomfort, a look of fear. Moon doesn’t waste a second in leaving you at the security desk as he goes to tend to the child who must be having a nightmare. You watch from your seat as Moon tends to a child, scooping them up in his arms and rocking them back to sleep. You’re certain that the robot is whispering faint hushes or playing a soft melody to ease the child back into a peaceful slumber. Warmth begins to bloom in the center of your chest as you watch Moon settle the child back down, pulling the blanket over the kid's shoulder and lightly bumping his faceplate to their forehead. It was an endearing scene, one that you added to your final notes about Moon for management to review. If he found out about the little notes you added, the sweet moments–the ones that truly mattered, he would’ve thrown you off the balcony by now. 

Moon makes himself comfortable on the desk once more, “Nightmare,” he explains. The explanation wasn’t needed but appreciated nonetheless. “New paint?”

You pause, “Do you… need paint?” While you were aware that both Sun and Moon were the most neglected animatronic in the building, besides the S.T.A.F.F. bots, their casing seemed fine. No chipped spots, no grubby fingerprints or shoe stains, they looked good as new… maybe even better. He shakes his head. 

“Is it an instrument?” 

“Kinda,” they’re getting warmer now. “Can Sun see me right now?”

Moon’s sharp smile returns, “Perhaps.” He replies in a mocking tone. 

“Well,” you scoot the chair towards Moon and lean onto the desk, “if he’s not there then I could give you your gift.”

You can hear the fans hidden within the animatronics chassis as the faceplate does a slow, unsettling rotation. He’s unsure if you’re being genuine or if this is simply another trick of yours. To give him more confidence, you grab your backpack and pull out his present.

The wrapping is a deep blue covered in snowflakes of different shapes and sizes, all white or silver. You even found a sparkling silver ribbon to tie in the front, resting alongside a sticker that has his name written in your handwriting on it. It was also more fitting to Moon’s theme than what you picked for his brother, chilly colors and an intricate ribbon–it screamed the lunar animatronic. Holding it up to him was like a taunt but the perfect push Moon needed.

“Not here,” he answers immediately, straightening his back and nearly mimicking Sun’s demeanor. “Sun isn’t happy with you.” 

You hand the present over and sit back, “I know, but he’ll forgive me after he gets his present.” Moon takes the present from your hands but doesn’t open it as quickly as you hope. Instead the present rests in the palm of his hands, as if Moon is afraid it’ll turn to dust the moment he pulls the fabric. “Don’t you want to open it?” 

He nods but refrains from pulling the ribbon undone. His hands twitch like they want to tear the entire present to shreds except he refrains. There’s an unspoken battle tearing him from the inside out, wanting to be good and for things to be the way they were. Moon didn’t want to admit that those times were no longer attainable. He remained rigid and stiff atop the desk with the present in his hands.

“Would you like me to open it for you?” Your tone is soft and quiet, like you were speaking to one of the children. Moon’s movements are slow as he, reluctantly, hands the present back over. You push yourself out of the chair and lean against the desk instead with your back to him. There’s a weight leaning against your shoulder, knowing Moon wants to see what lies beneath the wrapping paper the moment it’s removed. 

The ribbon is pulled and the wrapping is undone as quietly as possible. There was no elegance in your movement nor in the wrapping yet it seemed rather important to Moon. When a black box was the only thing left, Moon held onto the wrapping paper and ribbon. You weren’t sure if he was going to keep it for sentimental reasons or because their programming wanted things clean; you weren’t going to ask. The lid of the box is removed as well and put aside, revealing a gold and silver marbled bell in the center. Your smile grows when you see the familiar bell resting in the black fabric you stuffed into the box. It was to protect the metal, keep it from scratching, but also to muffle the sound as much as possible. You hand the opened box to Moon, his face is unreadable. Panic begins to bubble within your chest like you made some kind of mistake when he says nothing. 

“I thought the bell would match with your shoes, since they have bells on them. Maybe you could tie it to your hat and replace the cotton ball?” His eyes flicker from the bell to you. “I-if you don’t like it then I can–!” 

When you reach for the box, Moon pulls it away from you… as far as he possibly can. “No,” he seethes. The marbled bell is taken from the box as Moon uses his other hand to grab the end of his hat. It wasn’t hard for Moon to remove the cotton ball, a simple hard tug did the job. He begins fixing the bell at the end, “I used to have a bell, a long time ago.” Moon doesn’t explain any more and you don’t push. When the bell is secured at the end, using the ribbon that was on the box to tie it on, he readjusts the hat to rest behind him again. 

“Do you like it?” 

It was rare to see Moon give a genuine smile. It was even more rare to see those mismatched eyes go soft. “I do,” he says. Your smile only grows in size as you lean back into him, the two of you basking in the silence of the Daycare; the bell behind him gently chiming with his slow and mechanical movements.

******

When the lights came back on and the children were awake, Sun became rather antsy to receive his present. You apologized for tricking him but it really was going to be worth the wait. If Moon melted at the sight of the bell then you wondered how Sun was going to react. It was all in due time. Slowly, children were being picked up one by one. Their parents came to the front doors of the Daycare as you handled the parents while Sun rallied the kids. Each child left with a candy cane spun in yellow and blue, with a smile on their face and a reminder to go to sleep if they wanted Santa to come. The parents thanked you (rather than Sun to your displeasure) and left. By the time the last child was signed out and walking out the doors, the solar animatronic was bouncing with unexpected energy.

“What a day!” His voice carries through the Daycare and a chuckle escapes you. You’re by the arts and crafts table finishing up wiping them down. It’s the least you could do for Sun as he skips over to you. “And to think I would be cleaning the entire play area by myself…” 

“You just want your present,” You remind him.

He nods in agreement, “It’s only fair. Moon got his before I did and I technically knew before him.” 

You tuck the dirty rag into your back pocket and turn to face him. “Did Moon tell you what he got?”

“Nope.” 

“Are you lying to me Sunny?” Your eyes narrow in on him, looking him up and down. You couldn’t detect a change in heart beat or scan them to see what their internal temperature was but reading Sun was as easy as reading a book. His rays gave away his true emotions yet they remained still and sprouted. 

Sun shakes his head, “Not at all sunshine! I would never lie to you.” Both of you remain in a silent stare-off as you wait for him to slip up. But, you’ll have to take his word. With a deep sigh, you tell him to take a seat as you retrieve his present.

His present was wrapped in red and white striped paper with the ribbon shining like gold. The pattern was the closest thing you could find to match Sun’s boisterous personality but also stick to the holiday theme. The ribbon was the only thing that didn’t necessarily match yet you chose to keep it since it reminded you of the solar bot. When Sun catches sight of you and the small box in your hands, the rays around his head dance in delight. 

He sits criss crossed on the floor between the tables and chairs you have just wiped down, from both glitter glue and germs. You take a seat across from him, your knees nearly bumping into each other, before handing the present over. Unlike Moon, Sun doesn’t hesitate to open the present yet they both keep the ribbon you tied in their possession. Moon now had his tied to the hat and Sun simply kept his in his grasp. Even though the wrapping paper was quickly removed, not a single piece was truly torn to shreds. His movements were calculated and precise as he sets the large sheet of decorated paper aside and keeps a white box close to his chest. 

It’s when the top is removed does your smile grow. 

Instead of giving him one bell like Moon, there are two in the box. They look the exact same as Moon’s but instead of tying them to a hat Sun doesn’t possess, you figured the bells around his wrist needed to be replaced. They were rusted, dirty, and no longer held their chime nor charm that a true bell should. The ones Sun currently had only seemed to fit him, being gold, whereas silver fit Moon. Which is why you compromised and found marbled bells that fit both of them. Even though the one Moon had was only visible when he was out, the ones around the wrist would fit both of them yet were meant for Sun.

“Where did you find these…?” Sun asks in awe. He gently picks them up in his hands and places the box to the side. You’re surprised that his voice dropped, no longer booming in the room.

You nudge his leg to get his attention, “I found them when I was grabbing coffee one morning… they reminded me of you. Both of you.” Your face can’t help but bloom in embarrassment but it was the truth. 

Upon your confession, Sun tackles you to the ground in a hug as a surprised yelp escapes you. The bells ring erratically as he squeezes you and rocks you around; you can’t help but laugh at the reaction. The animatronic pulls you into his lap and keeps his arms around you, the bells falling into your lap. He makes quick work of the old ones around his wrists except has a hard time trying to tie the new ones around. Your hands gently encompass his as you silently offer to tie them on for him. Sun doesn’t need to give you an answer, his stillness is enough. The touch is soft, featherlike, as you untwine the red ribbon around both wrists to slip the new bells through. With the new bells secure, you retie them to his wrists–giving him a bow at the end of the knot. 

They look nearly identical as they did before but now they hold your bells. 

His arms slink around your waist and give you a squeeze, “I would have never guessed.”

“So you like them?” You give his arm a squeeze, needing the reassurance that neither of them were saying that to make you feel better. “If you don’t I can get you something else instead?” 

“Why would we want anything else?” He pulls away and looks down at you, needing you to crane your neck back to get a better look. Sun’s head lightly bumps into your forehead, like Moon had done to that one child, and your cheeks only darken in color. “We have everything we want right here.”

[clownnstuff]

I'm going to link my AO3 acc and pin it now that i have multiple works out.

my works under the cut

Liminal

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49896784/chapters/125966137

chapters- 7

words- 23,053

Summary-

You're swinging on a swingset with your sister but something goes wrong and now you're in a yellow maze. You seem to be alone. For a little bit. meeting a possible threat and traveling with it is not your ideal situation. but you haven't gotten attacked so far shit you got attacked. And your new "friend" has some sort of family drama you don't want to mess with. and- oh my- look at this, you're now good friends with it. pretty good friends.

Love, Sun

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52788874

chapters- 3

words- 8,482

summary-

“Hello?” You ask, trying your best not to sound like you were just flailing around like an idiot. “Hi! Is this Gary?” A soft tenor voice asks over the phone. There’s a small buzz every couple of words. You really need to buy a newer phone. You’ve had this one since high school. “Uh… yeah. It is, who are you?” You ask, his voice not completely ringing a bell. It could be your half-asleep state or your goldfish memory. “It’s me! Sun, from the bookshop downtown. You visited a couple days ago, remember? ---- This is a romantic comedy between the reader and Sun. I'll write a book about Moon when I'm done with my other fics. I feel like there isn't enough masc reader representation in this fandom, so the reader is a guy in this. The reader is Gary, and you and Sun are very gay for each other.

They still chose me to some degree

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52867051

Words- 625

Summary-

I liked them. I did. I truly did. But I missed my chance. I was scared. I didn’t know if I could. If it was against the rules or something. I should’ve just told him when I had the chance. I’ve had months to tell them. But I didn’t. I practiced. I chose a couple days that had some significance to us, but I chickened out. Valentine's Day was going to be the day I told them. I had a whole plan. The day would go as normal, but at the end of the day, I would tell them. I even had a gift for them. It burns my hands as I hold it. It was special. But now I’d never be able to give it to them. I toss it carelessly into the back of my car. It didn’t matter now. But hopefully, it’ll serve a good purpose to them one day. ---- The summary is more of a bit of background to the story rather than an actual summary. But it has foreshadowing, so imma keep it like that

[flickeringart]

Minor aspects

While the nature of the major aspects in astrology is quite straightforward and has been covered more than sufficiently, there’s still a lot of fog surrounding the nature of the minor ones. There are a lot of minor aspects that can be taken into consideration when interpreting a chart… however, since they are labeled minor they won’t be as obvious and much more difficult to spot in one’s own life. Note that this doesn't mean that they aren't impactful. There’s a lot of speculation and vague terms used when describing them. It seems that every minor aspect is said to have a “spiritual/creative dimension” as if that is supposed to clear up any of the mystery surrounding them. Perhaps, on one level, we don’t want to pin them down too much because certainty is the enemy of exploration. Or perhaps it’s the case that the aspects themselves don’t want to be pinned down? There’s an appeal in keeping certain things mysterious in our lives, to avoid defining and putting rigid labels on phenomena. It makes life alive and beautiful. Many people dismiss astrology is because they are afraid that they’re going to be reduced to a set of characteristics and have their personality mapped up to the point of being able to predict and foresee patterns of behavior and fated themes. The fear of knowledge is not irrational; it is probably healthy to an extent. Knowing too much can be dangerous and rob life of its magic. “Curiosity killed the cat”, as the saying goes. However, this is not the whole truth because curiosity also leads to expansion and better understanding, so let’s not be afraid to concretize these aspects, it's not the same as "killing" their potential. Life is never completely in our hands anyway, there's no risk of knowing it all.

Quintile (72°)/Bi-quintile (144°)

These aspects are said to have something to do with individual style and quality of creative work. It is suggested that these aspects say something about a mental-creative process of imposing one’s mind on a particular subject. It is also linked to talent and gifts the individual would possess that have not been actively learned. Basically, it seems to be indicative of the particular way a person would approach a subject. For example, the quintile would not describe the activity itself - the activity could be painting, knitting, running, cleaning or whatever – the quintile/bi-quintile would point to the way the person approaches the activity.

For example, Ted Bundy (whose chart I’ve explored a bit here), has Neptune bi-quintile the MC. Neptune, being the planet of illusion hints to Bundy’s quality of being a chameleon, deceiving the public as part of his personal style.

Prince Harry, (whose chart I’ve touched upon before), has his Moon bi-quintile Neptune. The Moon can be indicative of the mother figure, and his mother Princess Diana certainly had an elusive style and charm that was a bit deceptive and seductive. Of course, he would have the same thing going in his own life but it would perhaps be difficult for us to spot. He also has Moon quintile Venus and he definitely has a style/quality of emotional-physical comfort. He has Pluto quintile the AC, which would point to a style of showing up in the world that is powerful and intense. He has a tendency to come off as destructive and chaotic at times. There’s also a quintile aspect forming between Mercury in the 8th house and the MC which would hint to a public image that is colored by the “taboo” things he has said about his family in the recent present, but also in the past. He’s a public image that is aligning with the style of the playful amoral trickster.

As I’m going with charts I’ve already explored, let’s look at the quintiles in Meghan Markle’s chart. Her Venus is quintile Uranus and it perfectly describes her style of “wokeism”, that is, appearing to be objective and intelligent about feelings and affective values. She has a style of being “the loving humanitarian”. Whether she is this way in an actual sense is debatable. The quintile aspect is describing the quality and style not the actuality. But, it is disturbingly close to reality that it somehow becomes reality. It’s like the actor who adopts another energy signature in order to portray a different person. It doesn’t really matter if a person is rotten at the core - if he has a loving way of being, what difference does it make? The style is real enough to not reflect and give the impression of love.

Semi-square (45°) / Sesquiquadrate (135°)

These aspects are said to precipitate events. The nature of these two aspects is more immediate than the square aspect (which causes tension and doubt and needs constant navigation). The conflict represented is usually unconscious and is therefore not easy to identify. However, as these conflicts tend to manifest quite abruptly, we can take a look at the concrete problems the person faces. The planets connected by a semi-square/sesquiquadrate aspect will be in conflict but force some kind of release (that may result in an accident because of it’s autonomous/unconscious function).

I have Saturn sesquiquadrate my Moon. Since I tend to unconsciously block my emotional responses, the pressure builds and I am “forced” to get out of a situation, “forced to listen to my emotions”. I have encountered the theory that the sesquiquadrate in particular is manifesting as something that is looked down upon societally. This would make sense considering the aspect forces a breakout of one of the planets and nothing that is immediate and abrupt is ever favorably looked upon when it comes to social-societal structure and predictability. I have been meaning to take on commitments that would further my status in society in terms of formal education (Saturn in the 9th conjunct the MC) but I have not been able to do it without considerable decline in my emotional well-being. So, I have been “thrown out” by unconscious forces every time I’ve tried.

My sister has her Venus sesquiquadrate Saturn. She’s known for her deliberate and strategic way of dressing. She plans her outfits carefully, there’s nothing haphazard about the way she presents herself. However, she has Lilith conjunct Venus so she can push the limits and simply do what she pleases sometimes as well when the pressure of Saturn becomes too much. But, this often causes external judgment. A relative of mine has her Sun semi-square Venus. I can tell that she’s highly aware of her appearance. She is very pretty but there’s always something that is a bit off between what she wears and her self-expression. It’s like it doesn’t quite fit and it’s irritating.

To get back to the celebrities, Meghan Markle has Neptune sesquiquadrate Mercury. Is it possible that this forces distortion and vagueness in opinion and communication? It would certainly fit the bill. She also has Uranus sesquiquadrate Mars. She simply has to “break out of her confining situations”, cut people out of her life and move on in her own way. Uranus is also sesquiquadrate her MC, which seems to point to her unconscious pull to “do what she wants to do” at the detriment of her public image and reputation. Notably, Uranus sits in her 5th house of personal enjoyment and creation.

Prince Harry has a semi-square between Mars and Pluto. When he is angry it blossoms into rage and he can’t see straight. It has gotten him into quite a lot of trouble and societal-social disapproval. It seems that this is a common theme with the sesquiquadrate and semi-square. He also has his Moon sesquiquadrate Jupiter. Isn’t it the case that he tends to indulge in a way that makes him look bad in society?

Quincunx (150°)

This aspect is typically found between planets incompatible by element and mode. Basically, they have nothing in common and have a hard time cooperating, which will cause minor stress in the individual because of necessity to work around the incompatibilities. The planets are not in direct conflict but they are uncomfortable with each other.

For example, I have my Moon quincunx Mercury. Every time I sit down to write I’m mildly disturbed by little things like an aching back, a headache, restless legs or whatever. It’s not very comfortable for me but I can still keep with it, however it might take a toll on me health wise. The quincunx has been related to health issues because of the mild stress that it causes. It is manageable and one is usually able to cope with the stress, but it’s not very pleasant. Because it is not as demanding as more disturbing conflicts in one’s life, it’s in the background causing irritation.

Meghan Markle’s Venus makes a quincunx aspect to her MC. This suggests that she has a hard time reflecting her value on a public level, it’s as if how she’s perceived publicly disturbs her sense of ease and comfort. She has an Aries MC with a Virgo Venus and she’s continuously depicted as a bully these days, as some kind a selfish and aggressive bitch (the more negative attributes of Aries). This must be undermining her self-worth immensely, however, it’s perhaps too minor of a problem to do anything about. It is still there nonetheless, harping on in the background, breaking her down and causing slow disintegration…

Semi-sextile (30°)

Planets forming semi-sextile aspects are said to be able to aid each other, to have a better connection than if they had no link at all. Usually one planet is in the sign that comes before the sign of the other; in other words, a semi-sextile might be forming between Mars in Aries and Venus in Taurus. The semi-sextile usually connects consecutive sign like this, but planets could be in semi-sextile in the same sign, like Mars in 0° Taurus semi-sextile Venus in 30° Taurus. In any case, the planet placed at an earlier degree or in the earlier sign can draw on qualities of the planet in the later degree or the later sign and vice versa. For example, Prince Harry’s Venus in Libra is semi-sextile his MC. He can draw on his sense of harmony a diplomacy to benefit his public image. His Mars in Sagittarius is also semi-sextile his MC, which makes it so that he can draw from his Martial qualities of energy and action to influence his career and success.

Parallel/Contra-parallel

These are called aspects in declination because they are measured by latitude and not by longitude. This essentially means that two planetary bodies can aspect each other in a certain way measuring the distance between them north-south of the celestial equator. Two planets at the same degree north and south of the equator form a parallel aspect and can be interpreted the same as a conjunction (some say that it's more obscure like a quincunx/semi-square). Two planets opposite each other north and south form a contra-parallel aspect and can be interpreted as an opposition (some say that it's basically the same as the parallel though).

I have found, looking at my own chart that these aspects only confirms already existing aspects measured by longitude or it confirms the sign that a specific angle is in. For example, my MC is in Aries and it is also parallel Mars. Mars is the ruler of Aries so it emphasizes my already martial MC. My Sun is conjunct Saturn and it’s also parallel Saturn. My sister has a Scorpio MC and it’s also parallel Pluto, the natural ruler of Scorpio. For example, my sister has a wide Moon-Mars conjunction (6°) but they are also in contra-parallel. How is this supposed to be interpreted? I would simply see it as Moon-Mars is connected strongly despite the orb being a little wide with the conjunction.

However, it’s not always the case that parallel and contra-parallel aspects only confirms already existing influences. They can also add themes and connections. My sister doesn’t have any longitude aspects between Saturn and Uranus but they are contra-parallel to each other.

Septile (51.43° - a 1/7 of the 360°)

It is said to indicate a hidden flow of energy between the planets involved, an inner sensitivity to the spiritual dimension of the planets. Another description I have come across is that the planets “darkly interact” and there’s an occult theme surrounding the connection.

I have Venus septile Jupiter in my own chart. Going by the said method of interpretation, it would mean that I have sensitivity to the hidden wealth and underlying beauty and abundance in life. I think it is quite accurate.

Novile (40° - 1/9 of the 360°)

Is said to be describing a contact of perfection/idealization. It also seems to have something to do with spiritual awakening and growth, lack of fear and freedom.

Having Sun novile Saturn for example could be interpreted as a feeling of communion with the world and life itself through responsibility and the control one can exercise through self-expression.

----

There are of course other minor aspects to explore, but I'll stop here for now.

[madcatdaderpydrawer-blog]

Whump 6

“You actually came. I’m surprised.” Vibrant purple eyes popped out of the darkness before they stepped out, long cloak dancing across the floor. Sun grimaced, looking away.

“Do.. Do you have to use him for this?” Because that isn’t her body. It’s Moons. His brothers body, that’s moving and acting without his judgement whatsoever. He had thought seeing the way he had been acting the past several months was disturbing, but this was a whole other level. At least that was still Moon. He still acted at least somewhat like his brother. But now? It was like he was looking at an empty shell. He hated it. 

She snickers, an unsettling smile settling unnaturally on his face as if it doesn’t quite fit right. “I’m not stupid enough to come to you face to face. Besides, I’d say this is rather... efficient, don’t you think?”

Sun can practically feel the smugness oozing from her voice, and he bristles. “Just get to the point.” 

She hums casually, twirling the cloak between her fingers. “I have a deal for you, Sun.”

“ No. I’m not making any deals with you, no no no-no WAY!” Sun blurts out, interrupting her. Whatever sick games she wants to play, he won’t take part in them! She already took his brother from him, and she won’t let him take anything else. He won’t.

She holds up her hands in a mocking gesture of surrender, a coy smile still plastered on her face. “Hey, hey. Hear me out now. I think you’ll be very interested in what I have to offer. It has to do with your brother after all.” At that, Sun tenses. The unease starts to pick back up in his systems, prickling at his anxiety like an exposed nerve. 

“... What is it?”

“Well, I’m sure by now you’re aware that your darling brother has been... compromised. He has been for a long while too. A pity you didn’t notice sooner...” the bell on the end of his brothers hat jingles softly when she tilts her head, the last part coming out as a curious hum. The more she uses his body, the more annoyed Sun feels. That’s not her body, and yet she’s using it so casually! As if she wasn’t taking it away from its rightful owner! 

“If.. if you’re just here to gloat, then...” Sun falters, rays drooping as he struggles to contain his building anger and sadness.

“My, someones high strung right now~ But no, that’s not why I wanted to talk to you.” She fiddles with the cloak, fingers tracing up to the four pointed star pin holding it together. For a moment she unclips it, admiring the little star. Taking a closer look at it himself, it dawns on him where he recognized it from. For their joint 4th birthday, Sun had made Moon a bunch of galaxy themed pins. There had been a new shipment of resin, actual good quality resin to the daycare, and Sun had been so excited try it. Moon practically lit up when he saw the gift. But.. there’s no way he’d still be using those pins considering how strained their relationship has been as of late. Right? Yet there’s no where else he could’ve gotten that pin. It has the exact same holographic glitter sheen he had added, subtle enough that it only really became noticeable when the light hits it.

“You have quite the way of needling your way into his mind.” Sun snaps out of his thoughts, gaze darting up to meet her eyes. Her tone is... surprisingly bitter, and it makes him swell with pride. She probably thought her little virus would keep them separated, that they’d never be able to get along again. And while he wouldn’t say they were perfect, or even as good as they were before, they had been making... progress. He guesses he has that little boy to thank for that, though. He’s talked to his brother more in the single night then he had in months. Moons behavior still baffles him, and he’s still cold most of the time, but he has been trying. In his own weird, awkward way. 

“Despite all the measures I’ve taken, it seems that he’s still too soft. And I have no use for a broken tool. Buut I do know that he means a lot to you. Here’s the deal: I’ll give you back your sad brother. Open some more avenues in his programming, and ensure his safety in the future outcome of my operation.” 

“Really?” Sun perks up at this. Opening more avenues in his programming? Does she mean... would she be willing to ease this hellish viruses control of him, even if just a bit? The thought of getting any semblance of his normal brother back is incredibly tempting. And it would be a weight off his shoulders if he didn’t have to worry about monitoring Moons behavior to keep him from being decommissioned...

“Of course.... but. There is one little thing I need from you in return.”

“Wh.. What is it?”

“ I want the child by the end of the night. And if you can’t deliver on your end, well... I have many ways to make his life a waking nightmare.”

Sun barely stifles a squeak at the sudden drop in tone as she switches from her own voice to his. It only makes the weight of the sentence feel heavier to him, though. There’s no aspect of him she can’t tamper with, is there? What would she do to him if he refused? Possibilities race through his mind, each one worse then the last. It had never really dawned on him the severity of the situation. For so long he’d been thinking that with enough talking, he’d be able to get him to stop, but would she even let him do that? Wouldn’t she just continue to use him for whatever sick crimes she wants, willingly or not? Words just aren’t enough on their own. 

Moons such a strong person, he always has been. Seeing him so helpless.. Oh, he is livid. Livid that she would ever put them in this situation, ever use his own brothers free will as some petty bargaining chip!

“No. No no NO! You rotten, dirty LIAR! Do you think bargaining with my brother would make me just let you hurt an innocent child?! You’re a monster! A psychotic lunatic! I know for a fact Moon would want me to keep this boy safe no matter the cost, not let one die just for the small hope that you might give him some semblance of his free will back!”

A heavy silence falls between the two of them, the tension thick in the air. Sun can’t find himself able to read the expression, and it makes him prickle with anxiety over his outburst. Before he can spiral further, though, Vanny cuts through his thoughts.

“That’s a pity, I thought we could make this easy. He really was helpful. But if you’re not going to accept my compromise then I’m going to have dispose of him and focus on another.” She waves her hand dismissively, as if making a decision about where she wants to eat dinner. Suns chest tightens, heart plummetting into his stomach.

She turns from the horrified jester to leave, offering him a passing glance. “I thought you were smarter then this, Sun. Hadn’t you realized? That this isn’t a deal between mutuals. Think of this as... a hostage negotiation. I expect the kid by 6, or you’ll lose your precious brother forever.”

[whirlybirbs]

✶    —   of gift-giving  ;    d.d.

summary: set post-s2 finale. din deals with the loss of the child. it’s life day. 

pairing: din djarin x mechanic!reader

a/n: happy holidays, babes, enjoy a little emotional blurb on christmas eve. i hope this serves as a happy little distraction from the world tonight. i love you all. stay happy and stay healthy. 

what do you get a man who has just lost his whole world?

before, it seemed like the possibilities for a life day gift were endless.

new modded-out wing thrusters for the razor crest were now out of the question (because the razor crest itself is out of the question), and that set of little, woolen jumpers you’d set aside after a trip to yavin’s third moon have no use. 

and, you seriously doubt din would find little joy in a new blaster. after all, he had enough anxiety resting in the palm of his hand alongside the darksaber — new weaponry would, no doubt, send him into an (increasingly more common) silent spiral.

everything was different now.

you’d seen his face that day, with the horrible moff gideon at your feet as a jedi knight’s robes kissed the polished floor. in the absence of his son — his kin as close as blood — there was something sad that settled into the lines beneath his eyes. if he cried, you did not see. no, you hid your intrigue; when he turned, helmet at his feet, your eyes hit the floor. habit.

but, that is different now.

now, on the eve of life day, you’ve grown accustomed to din’s face and the hot stir the sight of it brings. the feelings you bore for din are common place — they’ve burrowed a home in your heart for cycles, even before the child, back when you were simply an on-hand mechanic from mos eisley. din had taken you into his crew, and... well, you hadn’t looked back.

the kid — grogu — cemented the fact that maybe this was where you really did belong: among the stars, beside a man in glimmering beskar armor. 

at times, it was like he held the world in his hands. eagerly, he showed you what he could. it was one of din’s gifts — silent kindness that seeped deep into his every act. he had a good heart, despite his attempts at seeming more like a stand-offish rogue. 

this place, once home to jabba desilijic tiure, remains unnamed. boba fett has yet to find a fitting name for the sprawling castle in the dunes — but, for now, it is a haven for both din and yourself. fett, in age old warrior wisdom, can see that din is not himself. this period of mourning must be spent in a place of safety. 

every evening, over dinner, you thank fett. every night, those warm, brown eyes — as deep as warm amber — crinkle just a bit at the edges from your words. he can tell you mean it. if not for your sake, then for din’s. 

tonight, dinner is meager, but you happily inhale the ration aside fennec in the main hall. where dancers once leapt over the rancor pit like stars leaping across the night sky, the lot of you eat. 

din is silent. his jaw tenses when fett spares him a wondering look. between the two mandalorians, nothing is said, yet there are a thousand words. din is quick to finish. you watch has he rises, fetches his helmet, and wipes at his chin.

his footsteps lead far from the hall. 

boba speaks curtly. 

“go to him.”

your mouth is full of quickened bread, throat dry as you swallow down the oats that had been scooped up on the piece. you feel like a prey, pinned in place by fennec and fett. yet, no one is going for your throat. it is, in fact, kindness that’s seeped into their gazes. 

boba’s warm voice is cadenced with a gentle tone. 

“... and happy life day, sweet one.”

you find din alone, out the front gate and staring up at the stars. he’s perched on the edge of the long stone slab that once marked the entrance to the palace — but time and the changing tides of the sand have eroded the mound away, leaving a sharp drop off into the dunes below. there is another dune, to the left, that leads up to the palace now. fennec’s footprints remain from the earlier to trek into town. 

you watch as the wind, gentle and slow, begins to brush them away.

the twin suns are hot, still, despite having retired below the horizon nearly half an hour ago now. the sky is pink and hot red and it paints din all sorts of hues.

the little gift in your back pocket feels heavier than ever now.

“din?”

your voice is met with a grunt.

his head turns, slowly and ever-so owlishly, at the call. you near.

“i have something for you.”

when you settle on the edge, hip touching his, you’re comforted by his silence. it’s the usual sort, not the kind tipped with sorrow. you wonder — hopefully — if that’s your doing. or, maybe, you’ve caught him in a good mood.

“a gift?” he asks. his voice rattles through the vocalizer in his helmet and suddenly you miss the warm sound it carries when dancing off his lips, unburdened by the beskar. 

“it’s... it’s life day,” you say slowly, “or, well. tomorrow is, i suppose.”

“i...” a pause, then his helmet tilts, “i didn’t get you anything.”

you wave his words off, leaning to reach into your back pocket. you smooth your tunic and swing your boots. the little parcel, wrapped childishly in some tawny colored fabric you found laying around, sits in the palm of your hand neatly. 

the bundle, in din’s eyes, says a lot about you — about your feelings towards him. suddenly, with the force of a thousand thrusters, din realizes he hasn’t been very kind to you these last few weeks. he’s been frustrated and upset and angry and sad, so terribly sad, but...

he can see, in the lines below your eyes, that you have been too. 

“here.”

he takes it. and with one hand, reaches up to pull his helmet from his head.

the mop of brown hair is always a surprise. it makes you smile. a dash of happiness that comes as quick as it goes. din barely catches it. he wishes, earnestly, it would stay for longer.

“should i...?”

“go ahead, open it.”

he pulls back the delicately tied fabric, and all at once feels his heartstring snap.

it’s the gear knob. 

that stupid, small, scratched to hell gear knob that the kid was so obsessed with. he’d managed to scrap it from the wreck but... 

you’d gotten a hold of it. and you’d fashioned it into....

well, he isn’t quite sure.

you lean. 

“boba and i were speaking a week or so ago about armor,” you say slowly, “he used to have trophies on his pauldron, but he mentioned that some embellishments can be highly sentimental. so...”

din pulls the knob, and realizes it’s welded to a chain and at the end of the chain lays a clasp. 

“might make some noise, clang around a bit but...”

“thank you.”

his eyes are brown. you hadn’t forgot, but still, the sight makes your heart hammer. his nose is sharp and strong, and his lips are upturned in a delicate sort of smile. you wonder how often that look graces his face. how often does it hide beneath his beskar, like the rest of him?

“it’s not much.”

“it’s everything.”

you make a sad sound then. you lean back on your palms. the sand digs into the pads of your fingers. din’s eyes follow you, and he frowns.

“i haven’t been... i haven’t been there for you,” he says suddenly, already moving to clasp the totem to his armor, “and i’m sorry.”

the knob sways. it glimmers in the setting sun and tinkers against the beskar like a bell. 

“we both lost him, din,” you say tenderly, “i haven’t exactly been ready to accept the fact.”

“i know, but,” he lets out a ragged sigh. his gloved hand reaches up to rub his jaw. to din, the action seems foreign despite being a recent addition to his body language, “we still have one another.”

a beat. a slip of silence.

“and i don’t want to lose you as well.”

the admission is soft.

it’s all you really needed for life day. 

you turn your head, eyes pulled from the setting suns, and find din’s. his face is calm. the sorrow there has retired for now. you touch his cheek gently. the feeling of stubble beneath your fingertips feels different — so different from when you’d touch it with your eyes screwed shut in the belly of the razor crest.

you kiss him. and he kisses you. 

everything is different now, but some things are still the same.

[spiltscribbles]

Worth It

~Notes: Oof, I know I have so many prompts in my inbox and I appreciate them so much! But I wanted to write something after dinner in dedication and a gift to the lovely Remus-John-Lupin!!!!!!!<3<3<3 I love you RJ and I appreciate you and your friendship so fucking much, so this is just a strange little gift from me to you in thanks for how kind you’ve always been to me since I joined this crazy fandom, ILY and you’re my favorite slag!!!!

.-

Sirius silently reminds himself that he in fact likes Lily, he thinks she’s a total knock out and is happy that his brother is finally getting to date the girl of his dreams. He likes her damn it,! And one does not commit battery to folks that they like.

Assured that his pure irritation won’t bleed through his words, Sirius tries again in his most charming of inflections. “All I want is his number.”

“No,” she repeats, casually steadfast while poking at her salad— Not even bothering to flick her gaze up at an increasingly irate Sirius.

“Why are you being so fucking difficult!”

“Why are you still bitching about this,” she counters, finally giving him her undivided attention, even if it’s her glaring at him like she’d like to skewer Sirius on a stick.

“Hey guys, let’s chill.” James tries to mediate, laughing awkwardly between the pair of them, hand raised in concession and glasses going a bit skewed.

They promptly ignore him.

“I like him. What is so difficult to understand Evans? Aren’t you like supposed to be some brainiac or some shit?”

“It’s been like two months Black,” she says pointedly, grip on her fork tightening while her mouth curls unpleasantly. “That’s way past your ordinary infatuations, so why the hell do you still even care.”

Sirius bares his teeth, pinning her with a glower that once made an old school yard bully of Regulus’s actually piss his pants. So of course Lily doesn’t even flinch. “He’s cute.”

“You’re a dog.”

“You’re being a total ass.”

“And you’re a bastard.”

“But you love me though.”

“Just barely.”

“So you’ll give me Remus’s number?”

“Dream on.” she says with a lofty sniff and haughty flip of the hair, discarding her barely eaten lunch before swaggering over to where a group of her friends from the STEM club are sat, including Alice Flores and Dorcas Meadowes. 

“Guess you’re back to square one Pads.” James says, unhelpful as fuck, so Sirius only flips him off before snatching back his calculus homework from a pitiful looking Peter.

“Fuck this.”

.-

Sirius thinks of himself as a reasonable sort of guy.

He isn’t one for holding grudges or obsessing over perceived slights. He’s brilliant whether he’s playing linebacker on the field or taking a exam in class.

For fuck’s sake, Sirius  can be plumped down in any and all social situations without warning, and can have the room eating out the palm of his hand within the first five minutes.

In layman’s terms, he’s decent and driven and downright charismatic. Mix this all together, and well Sirius thinks he’s a pretty fantastic fucking package— if he does say so himself. He can have his pick of the lot, truly. Especially when walking down the halls flocked by his best friend turned second brother on one end and little Petey, who’s a great hype man, on the other. So its only poetic justice that the one person who’s been able to swallow up all his attention is the one person who doesn’t even give him a second glance most days.

And that’s fucking ridiculous.

This is ridiculous! He is fucking ridiculous! No, record scratch. Remus fucking Lupin is the most ridiculous part of this all!

Remus lupin with his delightfully disheveled hair the color of gold and his crooked grin that’s everything darling in the world, and his big doe eyes that sometimes flare with green specs when he’s especially passionate in class or when he’s chatting with Lily in the halls. Remus lupin who’s only just moved here to Murray Hill from a small town in southern Illinois and who toppled Sirius’s world upside-down while he was at it. 

The first time they met was completely on accident.

It was the week before classes began, and Sirius had only just come back from his family trip to their villa in Rome, and he was only meant to meet James at the coffee shop that Lily was working at now. They were suppose to head to the city and go out drinking to celebrate the start of their senior year.  Sirius was suppose to find a nice, college aged girl to fuck because he’s given up on the boring lot that infests Hogwarts these days. It was suppose to be easy and fun and he was suppose to stay stringless and unattached as ever.

But that didn’t happen.

Instead, Sirius walked into the Howling Moon  and was met by the sight of the most lovely, most gorgeous boy he’s ever met. Hand to God, it felt like one of those slow motion moments in a Romantic Comedy when the disgruntled, wayward lead first sets their eyes on that love interest— the one to out shine all others, the one  who turns everything inside out and makes it all glitter gold.

“Hey there,” Remus had grinned like the fucking sun, slipping the pen from his ear and hand poised over the cups lining the counter. “What can I get ya?”

“Oh, erm— Yeah. Just a caramel macchiato, iced.”Sirius’s ordinarily smooth baritone almost fucking cracked while ordering, and Remus’s beautiful eyes had glittered.

“Would’ve taken you for a dark roast sort of guy.” He said, and Sirius swears that it was playful and flirtatious and a little mischievous too. 

Sirius was in love.

“I’ve been known to partake in sweets, you know, if they catch my eye,” he replied, eyes lingering meaningfully up and down Remus’s slighter frame.

“What a come on,” Remus had laughed, head thrown back to show off his long neck and Sirius was so fucking gobsmacked at how it quite literally sounded like all the most splendid instruments woven together.

He had ducked his head, so unordinary bashful but so beyond pleased. “What can I say beautiful, you bring it out of me.”

“”Cute.” Remus had chuckled, cheeks going a fetching red and scribbling down the order. “Definitely one of the more interesting one liners I’ve gotten today.”

Sirius ignored the flare of jealousy over that, considering that he hasn’t gotten to even kiss him yet, and he should probably take this slow if he doesn’t want to screw it up. “Has anyone of those bastards mentioned how your eyes put the brownies on sale to shame?”

“No one as hot as you if I’m being honest,” Remus retorted, ringing him up and sinking his teeth into his plump bottom lip. And fuck, Sirius knew he was in trouble from then on.

They had talked for over half an hour about nothing at all in that tiny bistro while Remus was busy exchanging the coffee pots for a fresh batch and rearranging the baked goods, and it was amazing.

 Sirius has always been someone who couldn’t sit still, who had to be fluttering all over the place to feel like he was actually headed somewhere, like he was getting something finished. But for the first time in too long, just sitting there, still and silent and besotted while Remus chatted about his hometown and moving half way across the country and his eccentric mother— Well Sirius felt completely balanced, completely calm. He felt like just as long as Remus was their chatting with him and smiling in that beguiling way of his, that Sirius could actually breathe without pressure. Like he knew what it meant to have a center.

So of course, right when he decided that he was going to snatch him up— to ask him out on a date before anyone else from their shitty class filled with degenerates and dick heads could— Lily of all people  had swaggered in, and gave him a caustic sort of glower that plainly said, keep the fuck away.

Ordinarily Sirius would’ve completely ignored her warning, would’ve unashamedly and excitedly chased after the cutest fucking boy he’s ever laid his eyes on with an absurd sort of zeal. But he under estimated just how much sway Lily was able to cater with Remus in the few weeks they worked with one another before he had met him. So instead of starting off the year with a brand new, insanely pretty boyfriend wrapped around one arm, Sirius has just spent the past nine weeks pining like a fucking love sick loser. Like he was starring in some cheesy John Hughes movie from the damn 80s!

And this will not do, this is not all right, not okay at all.

Sirius needs to figure out a way to get close to Remus, and outside of Lily’s overbearing claws. Something that only Remus likes, that Sirius can partake in to prove himself worthy.

As he promenades down the hall towards his free period, Sirius creates a mental check list of the things he knows Remus enjoys.

Remus enjoys poetry, and Sirius knows that he’s part of the school’s award winning Forensics team. But they meet during the football practices so Sirius couldn’t even try to impress him in that arena until the spring. He also knows that Remus likes history, that he’s going to end up majoring in classics in University, but Sirius really doubts his ability to memorize the Iliad in the matter of a few hours— He’s good, but not that good.

“Jesus fuck is this hard,” he mutters nastily to himself, tugging at the ends of his dark hair before ramming straight into a display outside the southern wing of their preparatory school’s building.

He winces, not so much for the throbbing in his toes, but because of Marlene’s snappish attitude when he makes it so that the table shakes.

“Keep your head out your ass Black,” she scolds before going back to filing her nails. And Sirius is about to snipe right back at her— That is until he catches on the bright poster adorned with small rainbows and the words, GSA FOOD DRIVE spelt out in large lettering.

And oh!

“Eureka!”

“Pardon?” Marlene asks, nose wrinkled indelicately as she eyes him like he’s about to puke on her brand new Doc Martens again like last weekend. Holy shit, she should really get over it by now.

But Sirius is smart enough and tactful enough not to mention his thoughts on the matter, only smiles down at her with pure elation. “Marls, what if I said I had a brilliant idea to help our lovely GSA.”

“I’d accuse you to only doing it to try and get in Lupin’s pants since he’s our new VP.”

Sirius grapples for his chest, feigning indignant. “You pain me my old friend.”

Marlene snorts. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

“That’s neither here nor there.”

“So are your chances with Lupin.”

“You’re a sick fuck McKinnon.”

“What do you want from me you gnat.”

“Let me help with the fundraiser.”

“What’s in it for me?”

“I’ll tell Lily to get Meadowes to notice you?”

Marlene glares at him now. “We’ve been fucking for like a month you prick.”

“Oh— Erm, then for some of that good old Bi unity?”

Marlene suddenly looks so very shrewd and Sirius hates how every fucking woman in his life could eat him whole for breakfast. “Absolutely not.”

“Fine, what the fuck do you want.”

“You cover Fabian’s costs for the goods  when we go to that rave for 2KBABY in January.”

“Eh, didn’t you guys use to fuck?”

“Yes. But I don’t see the connection?”

“He won’t even give you a discount on the good shit?”

“Oh he does,” she leers, blue eyes glinting wickedly in the hallway light. “But I’d rather see you pay full price for’m.”

Sirius glares down at her, and repeats himself.  “You. Are. A. Sick. Fuck.”

Marlene just lies back in her seat and returns to manicuring her nails. “Well if cheekbones isn’t worth the bother?”

“Fine,” Sirius all but growls out. “But we do this my way.”

“Scout’s honor handsome,” she absolutely beams, and Sirius reminds himself that this is all for Remus and that’s worth it at the end of the day.

.-

It’s a week later, right before Thanksgiving break hits, and Sirius is sat in front of the cafeteria, smirking at the line of mostly pink faced girls and a few others amongst their midst, who have all queued up in front of him. A dollar in each of their hands, though he does see that a few have fives and even tens or more, and he doesn’t know how to subtly tell them that all he’s promising is a quick peck of his lips, and absolutely no other groping— including of his legendary ass or admittedly perfect abs.

“You’re just really enjoying yourself, aren’t you.” James hisses besides him after the latest girl— a blonde sophomore who’s decked out in Lulu Lemon for their only non uniform day of the week— scurries off. “Just a ego trip.”

“Jealous Jamie darling?” Sirius boasts, tipping back on his chair while Marlene collects the cash from the next five in line so that they can clammer closer towards him.

“I can’t believe all of them want to kiss you,” Peter marvels, round eyes completely in aw. 

“I can’t believe you think this is how to get Remus’s attention,” Lily interjects huffily, lips set in a moody pout while perched on James’s lap to Sirius’s left.

“I bet you would’ve been in line if you weren’t dating Jamie here.” Sirius counters, smug as all get out, and laughing when all Lily deigns as a adequate response is her middle finger.

Sirius is on cloud nine. He can’t believe he didn’t think of this sooner! Remus loves all this shit, from the club to the charity. This is perfect! This basically guarantees that he’ll finally get a good smooch on him. And once their lips finally  touch, Remus will surely feel the swarm of butterflies in his gut just like in those Harleyquin romance novels his cousin Narcissa would always read with a dreamy look on her face during their various Family vacations.

“You’re not gonna get him this way.”

“He’s not gonna know what hit’m Evans,” Sirius retorts, completely self assured.

.-

One should never bet against Lily Marie Evans.

Sirius knows this now. But he still hates it with the passion of a thousand burning suns.

By the end of the lunch hour, Sirius’s earned over sixty bucks to the GSA’s fundraiser fund, and absolutely zero potential boyfriends who look like golden angels and make Sirius’s knees weak.

“I told you,” Lily says in that sing-song sort of voice that is so not appreciated right now. “Remus is not the type to kiss you in front of a huge crowd and after like a bunch of others. That’s not his style.”

Sirius is moody as all get out, and he’s irritated that he’s just wasted five dozen perfectly fine kisses on folks who aren’t Remus, so he doesn’t bother to hide his irritation when he gripes back at her, “Then tell me what the fuck is his style.”

Miraculously, that actually proved enough to get Lily to slow down her stroll, and cock her head curiously at him. “You actually care.”

“What the fuck have I been trying to tell you Evans!” He nearly shouts.

“I just thought— You know. That it was a game.”

Sirius’s face goes stoney, and he juts his chin away from her. “It’s not always a fucking game, all right. It’s not a game with him— I like him. I like Remus.”

“Oh,” Lily says very quietly, her face pulled in a thousand different directions before settling on something akin to solemn. “You should go to the music room for your free period today.”

Sirius quirks a brow at her, frowning while he asks, “Why?”

“Just trust me S,” she says, reaching over her hand to squeeze his forearm.

Sirius watches her walk off, hand in hand with James, and he feels a strange twisting to his heart when he imagines a very similar image— only with him and Remus and punctuated by plenty of kisses to the cheek, and jawline and lips too.

.-

The music room is towards the back of the school, in a separate building along with the theatre and main auditorium.

The early autumnal chill lashes against Sirius’s face while he makes the track to the room, continuously chanting to himself that he actually trusts Lily and this is gonna be worth it if there’s a merciful God up there.

Once Sirius clammers in doors, he rubs his cold hands together, and shakes out his hair. 

The first thing he hears is the soft strumming of a guitar, and finds himself in front of the music room after following its melodic toon. 

Through the window he can spot the form of Remus bent over the instrument, his thick curls getting in his eyes and his steady hands plucking a few chords as he sits cross legged atop the piano.

Sirius feels his heart lodging in his throat at the sight of him, so beautiful and perfect and warm looking in that scarlet sweater. And he knows in his bones that this is some sort of unspoken blessing that Lily’s given him, so with a deep breath, Sirius opens the door and strolls in.

Remus starts slightly, going flushed once his eyes catch on Sirius’s own.

“Oh Sirius,” he greets, the corners of his mouth tipping into a smile that doesn’t ring true. “You pulled away from the haram?”

“That’s a bit much? Calling them a haram,” Sirius says cooly, hitching up besides him and swinging his long legs. “I just did it to help you.”

“Oh— Yeah,” Remus nods. “The GSA appreciates all the help we can get.”  His words are quiet, and he’s rinsing a hand through his curls, so Sirius can tell that he’s a bit nervous. And it’s impossibly cute, but also not on. He doubts that he’ll ever get his kiss if Remus won’t even look at him in the eyes.

Gingerly, Sirius sets the pad of his pointer finger beneath Remus’s chin, lifting his gaze upwards. “Not the GSA— Though I appreciate the club’s work and your part in that.”

“Oh,” Remus says again, lips pursed and his throat pulsing when he swallows down. “Then—“

“I did it for you Remus,” Sirius repeats heatedly. “I did it because I’ve been mad for you since ever meeting you in August, and I can’t get your fucking face or name or lips or ass out of my head. And I thought that if maybe I pulled a dumb stunt like that, you would actually kiss me along with the lot of those idiots who can’t even hold a candle to you.”

“M—My ass?” Remus questions, voice going pitchy and face bright with emotion. 

Sirius laughs, booming and bombastic. “You have the best ass I’ve ever seen Remus Lupin and it’s really obscene.”

Remus shoulder checks him, looking down and then back up through his lashes at Sirius and it’s a sight Sirius wish he can keep with him for the rest of his days.

“So you thought I’d want our first kiss to happen after you’ve just made out with half the school?” 

Sirius grimaces, bending down so that their lips are only inches apart. “Listen, I can be a complete dumb ass on occasion.”

“Don’t forget arrogant.”

“Okay, fair.”

“And brash too.”

“Right.”

“Also you tend—“

Sirius places a soft hand over Remus’s supple lips, glaring teasingly at the other boy, who’s grinning like the cat who’s caught the canary, his eyes teeming with laughter. 

Remus Lupin is going to be the death of  him, Sirius knows it.

“Listen Lupin, I’d like a shred of self respect here, so I can actually muster up the courage to ask you out on a proper date already.”

Remus perks at that, so Sirius moves his grasp.

 “You wanna ask me out?”

“Depends…. You wanna continue that little rant until I’m blue balled and  gutless.”

“Hmm,” Remus inches closer, setting his hand over Sirius’s on the piano. “Nah, I think I’d rather do this.”

He leans forwards and Sirius barely has enough time to gather his bearings when he feels Remus’s mouth over his own and it’s literally every starlit promise and sugar burnt secret and sunlit afternoon all rolled into one. And Sirius feels his heart thud an uneven staccato when he grabs for either end of Remus’s waistline and plunges his tongue into his own and he lets himself get lost in the overwhelming feeling of it all.

[and-the-ocean-burned]

Heyyyyy soooo I'm back with more self indulgent fanfiction that no one wanted or asked for! No real trigger warning for this one, soo enjoy!!

Ronan rolled over in bed onto his side, sneering at the shadowy corner of his bedroom for a few moments, then with a frustrated groan turned back again. How long had he been laying here? How many hours had he spent sleeplessly tossing and turning in the ruins of his sheets?

He didn't know, all he knew was that he was fucking tired. Tired of this, and just tired.

He grunted irritably as he sat up in bed, idly massaging the nape of his neck with a clammy palm and a grimace. "Maybe Gansey was awake," The thought made Ronan feel a little better. He stood up, all of his muscles protested, his body was exhausted. Every attempt to dream lately had done nothing but gotten his ass handed to him by some fucked up nightmare. He was tired of them too.

He opened his bedroom door, and peered out into the pitch of the second floor of Monmouth. There weren't any lights on that he could tell, Gansey more than likely wasn't awake.

A stab of lonesomeness ran through Ronan then, his insomnia was easier to cope with when he was in Gansey's company. He'd listen to music with one or both earbuds in, and occasionally look over to his friend sculpting another streetlight for his mini diorama of Hennrietta, or scrawling notes in the margins of his journal, or gingerly snipping a leaf from his mint plant with the tiny filigree scissors Blue had given him as a gift. It was easier to forget why he couldn't sleep when he was with Gansey.

The refrigerator light tinted him ghostly yellow as he opened it to rummage through its contents. He pulled out a two liter of soda, and chugged several large mouthfuls straight from the bottle before twisting the cap on firmly, and placing the bottle back onto the shelf. 

His nerves still burned, his body wanted him to sleep, screamed for him to sleep. He could feel the beginnings of thick black ooze accumulating at the back of his throat, in his lungs, he could taste it. Instead of acknowledging the dread pooling low in his belly, he scooped up the BMW keys, and trekked out the door and down the stairwell of Monmouth manufacturing.

Ronan didn't know of a cure for his insomnia, his dreams were wicked, terrifying things, and even if he had a good handle on them to start, it only took one small slip up, a single self deprecating thought, to have him submerged in a pool of acid, or helplessly pinned to the ground under a pissed off night terror, or perpetually stuck being walked away from by everyone he cares about. Besides Gansey, there was only one other thing that he knew helped. 

St. Agnes's fearsome silhouette was starting to pierce the horizon as Ronan drove. He let out a tense, exhausted breath, just being close enough to see the church's three vicious spires already felt like it had helped some of the coiling tension in his muscles untangle itself.

He parked. This wasn't the first time sleeplessness had dragged him here by the throat, in fact, Ronan had lost count of how many nights just like this one that he'd found himself here in the archway of the old church. Probably as many times as he'd found himself here on Sunday mornings, he thought.

He dipped the tips of his fingers in holy water, and sat down on one of the ebony colored pews. He pressed his palms and fingers together, and rested his forehead against his thumbs, he prayed.

The moon poured its eerie light over his pale skin through St. Agnes' enormous stained glass windows as he sat silent, painting him a wild kaleidoscope of a boy. Eventually he drifted off, still perched like that, and began to dream.

--

He was outside, everything was all sunbeam warmth, and brilliant white light, and lush grass between his toes. He squinted to focus his vision, Adam was standing a little ways ahead of him reaching above his head to pluck something from a furiously overgrown plant.

Ronan recognized it, the wild blackberry vines growing at one edge of the woods that surrounded the barns. He broke into a sprint, stopping just beside Adam, who turned to him and smiled. Ronan's heart was an underground coal fire of affection for him, his whole body smoldered with it.

Adam offered one of the sun ripened berries to Ronan, who enthusiastically accepted, allowing Adam to place the small fruit on his tongue. He crushed it against the roof of his mouth. Something was wrong.

It tasted like rot.

The air around them dropped drastically in temperature, and the sky dimmed with malice. Adam drew back a bleeding finger, something was egregiously wrong. 

Black began to dribble from the thorn pricked gash in Adam's index finger, not blood, unmaking. Ronan felt sick. He spit furiously. Black. 

Adam's panicked eyes darted up to meet Ronan's, he let the berries in his hands tumble to the ground. The unmaking gushed now, rolling down Adam's wrist and forearm like thick black veins, and poured in several opaque streams from his elbow into the grass between his feet. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Ronan gasped, he couldn't understand what was happening in front of him, he was seeing it, but he wasn't processing it. He could only feel the sick adrenaline clawing up his spine, could only taste decay in his mouth, could only watch helplessly.

Ronan feverishly grappled for his wrist, tugging Adam towards him, and wiping at the cut hysterically. The black just smeared, and welled up from the gash again. Had it been that large before? That open? That deep?

He whined brokenly, clasping Adam's slippery hand in his own, tight. Hot tears stung his eyes, Adam cheeks were streaked with them too, only his were the color of midnight. His mouth hung open around a silent word.

"Adam..." Ronan didn't recognize his own voice as it left his throat, only knew it was his because he could feel how it cracked half way through. Adam looked at him then, agonized.

"Ronan-" Adam abruptly dropped his eyes to his chest where glistening black was slowly soaking through his faded tee shirt. Dread flooded Ronan. Adam was dying, being unmade right in front of his eyes, and he couldn't do anything about it.

Adam swayed, immediately losing his footing. Ronan braced him with a slick arm, they collapsed to the ground which was now a filling pool of unmaking as dense and black as asphalt. 

A horrible noise escaped Ronan then, a strangled ugly beast of a thing. His face twisted up with the force of it, his hand clasped the side of Adam's sticky jaw. Adam's glossy, far away eyes flickered up to him, a line of black trickled from one of his nostrils. His lips parted, strings of tar colored unmaking clung to them, and coated his teeth. His breath was shallow, and bitter smelling. 

Ronan wheezed for air, but there wasn't enough. There might never be enough again. "Adam!" He rasped again between more awful sounding sobs. His heart felt dangerously close to shattering.

"This is all your f-fault..." Adam gurgled, coughing once, twice, then trembled violently against Ronan. "You break everything you touch-" Ronan's heart felt like it had been ripped from his chest.

No! This is wrong! He hadn't meant this to happen, please! He would do anything! Just make it stop! Make it stop! Adam!

I'm sorry!

Adam's chest rose shallowly and sunk down once, and then he was very still. His face and body were marred by smudgy black. His eyes were fixed on something above them both, everything adam-like gone out of them. 

I'm sorry…

--

Ronan gasped awake, his chest stung like a bitch suddenly filled with so much air, and his shirt clung to his skin uncomfortably. He couldn't stop trembling, his face felt wet. He caught a glimpse of his hands, black. His heart spasmed, then waking logic kicked in. They had just been in the shadow of the pew in front of him, they were perfectly unmarked upon further inspection. 

Ronan swore, took a few deep breaths, and swore again, wiping haphazardly at his face with the backs of his hands. He was never dreaming again. Sleep deprivation be damned.

He could at least find some small comfort in the fact that he hadn't brought anything back from that nightmare with him. That did very little to settle him though, he was badly shaken. Paranoia nipped at the back of his mind, he couldn't help it, horrible scenarios clawed their way to the forefront of his thoughts. He needed to check on Adam.

--

Adam lived in a quaint little apartment space above the administrative office of St. Agnes. Little meaning that if Ronan stood straight up he'd hit his head on the ceiling regardless of where he was in the room, and quaint meaning that he didn't understand how Adam managed to find reasons to want to live there. But if he never had to have that argument with Adam again it'd be too soon.

The stairs up to the door of Adam's room groaned a protest with nearly every step Ronan took, and the door itself was slightly warped with age revealing uneven slivers of dull light from behind it.

Adam would more than likely be asleep by now, it was late, and a school night. Ronan wasn't sure how late it was, he'd left his phone back at the factory, but he needed to know Adam was okay, needed to see him with his own eyes.

He lifted his knuckles to knock, and all at once every ounce of his nerve left him. His hand dropped back down to his side. He couldn't bring himself to possibly wake Adam when his sleep was so important to him. Sleep was a commodity he got very little of, and therefore took seriously.

Ronan turned back the way he'd come, but a sudden bright light from behind him threw his shadow onto the floor. It rippled wildly against the silhouette of the staircase, inhuman. 

Adam had opened the door so quietly that Ronan hadn't even heard it, and was staring at Ronan when he turned around. Ronan was very visibly relieved at the sight of him.

"Jesus, you look terrible." Adam said.

"Thanks Parrish, you look good too." 

An easy smile spread across Adam's face then. "Sorry," he said.

Ronan shrugged, but his chest felt warm.

"What're you doing here? We have a test tomorrow, shouldn't you be getting some sleep or something?" Adam asked then, his eyebrows had deep wrinkles between them, and his eyes were narrowed, but Ronan knew from experience that it was more out of concern than judgement.

"I could ask you the same thing," Ronan replied with some heat to his tone, but it was all for show, he had no idea who he was trying to fool here. Adam's smile was a barely there thing, clearly he wasn't buying it either.

"I was studying, what's your excuse?" Adam replied evenly. Ronan was silent. Adam held his gaze for a tense moment.

"What was the nightmare about?" Leave it to him to see right through Ronan. He looked at Adam in a way that said Please don't make me say it. Please. Adam seemed to understand that Ronan wouldn't, or maybe couldn't talk about it. He stepped out of the doorway to allow Ronan in.

It was warm, and it smelled like moss and dew and motor oil, which was to say that it smelled like Adam. A slumping desk lamp illuminated the room with a pleasant dimness, a pile of textbooks lay open to random pages beneath it. Grades won out over sleep on Adam's list of priorities.

Ronan navigated the room with the ease of familiarity, seating himself on the edge of Adam's mattress, and resting his elbows on his knees. Adam followed suit, sitting down close enough that their sides and thighs were touching.

"So are we going to keep on acting like everything's fine?" Adam asked bluntly, but there wasn't any anger in his voice, the way he'd said it made the words sound factual. "Or are you going to talk to me about it this time?" The question should've been simple, after all he'd known this was coming, but it seemed like the most complicated thing in the world for Ronan to answer right now. 

Couldn't Adam just leave it alone?

"The first one," Ronan tried to sound flippant, but all his bravado had left him at the door, and they both knew it. 

Now Adam was a little bit angry, he stood up quickly, Ronan's wide eyes followed him. "Why do you even come here then?" Ronan looked both like a hurt puppy, and a cagey dog backed into a corner. He looked ready to cry, or ready to bite. Adam didn't back down. "You always show up looking half dead, or actually half dead, and we just never talk about it! Well I'm tired of pretending like I'm not constantly worried sick how you'll show up next, or if you'll show up at all! I know you Ronan, talk to me please!" His voice broke on please, he looked just as tired as Ronan felt.

I'm sorry…

"You died," Ronan's voice was barely above a whisper, his gaze had at some point fallen from Adam, and was now trained on something invisible in the middle of the floor. If he'd looked ready to cry before, he looked damn near like he might completely fall apart now.

Adam's heart and stomach sank to his feet, "What?"

"You died! In my arms! And it was my fault!" Ronan shouted, he hadn't meant to, but he couldn't help it. All of the emotions of the dream gushed like a fresh wound. "Do you feel better now that you know, because I sure as fuck don't!" His mouth was an uneven line, he hurt all over.

There was a heavy silence between them for a moment, Ronan's eyes burned holes through the floor while Adam's burned holes through Ronan.

There was silence, and then there was the sound of cotton shirts rustling almost inaudible against one another. Adam's arms wrapped around Ronan tightly, his hands possessively, protectively gripped Ronan's ribs and the back of his shaved head. Adam pressed his cheek tentatively against Ronan's, his scent encompassed every fiber of Ronan's being. He melted into the touch.

There was silence, and then there was the sound of Adam's soft, honeyed Virginia accent in Ronan's ear. "Whatever you saw, whatever happened in that dream, it wasn't real. I'm real." Ronan gasped in a breath, he shuttered against Adam. "And I'm not going anywhere."

There was silence, and then there was the indefinite sound of Ronan Lynch crying against Adam Parrish's shoulder. His tee shirt was wet with tears, and hot with Ronan's shaky exhales, which normally would be an incredibly uncomfortable sensation, but he couldn't be bothered to care. He stroked the short, stubbly hairs at the base of Ronan's neck. Ronan looped his arms around Adam's waist then too, and held him back just as tight.

They stayed like that for a long time, long enough that Ronan thought he could see the dawn starting to tint the room orange. He recounted his nightmare.

After Ronan's shaking had subsided, and his sobs had become more or less quiet sniffles, they'd somehow ended up laying in a mess of limbs and warmth in Adam's little bed. Adam dug into his pocket, procuring both his phone and a tangle of headphone wires that he fought with for a few seconds thereafter. 

Adam tucked one of the earbuds away in his right ear, and placed the other gingerly into Ronan's left. Then with one thumb, he tapped his screen in a familiar pattern, unlocking his phone. Ronan's breath hitched as Adam selected a playlist of edm music, and Ronan's bare heart started sounding through the earbuds. He felt exposed, more vulnerable than he'd allowed himself to be in a very long time, but also safer than he'd felt in a long time. Known.

Ronan's other ear rested heavily on Adam's chest, he could feel the thud of Adam's heart against it, could hear his breathing as his chest fell and rose in time with the pounding electronic loops. His nerves tingled and burned.

He let his eyes fall closed, and sleep unfurl over him like a blanket. His dream was this, Adam, and Adam's lips, and Adam's smile, and Adam's freckles, and Adam's hands. Only Adam, and warmth.

[thenightmaregrrl]

Orion's Body 2: He's Back- Chapter 2: Welcome Home

Megatron stood in front of the sign that advertised his old hometown. The cartoony fish’s beady eye bored into his spark, the sun peeking through the clouds, its rays shining on his armor, he had changed his armor up shortly after murdering Elita and her band. He remembers how easy it was, pinning them to the bed or the wall, digging the knife they used to sacrifice Orion into their abdomens and watching pink energon flow from the wounds like a fountain, they tried to put up a fight but he easily incapacitated them, using his newly gifted strength he broke limbs and threw them through tables. He remembers seeing the energon from their bodies splatter the walls. He remembers driving the knife into Elita’s chest and watching her bleed out, then leaving the fancy hotel room they had gotten. He remembers walking down the hall, past a giggling and squealing gaggle of fans, holding CDs and posters for them to sign, only to have their squeals morph into screams of horror as they saw the bloody scene.

He soon began walking, his armor was no longer a silvery white with red accents, it was now a deep dull gold color with blue accents, he saw transports driving past him on the road, he didn’t give them any mind. He kept walking.

By the time he reached town the sun was already setting and the moon was rising. He walked down the streets, they were empty, most likely the people were sleeping, or getting ready for the celebrations tomorrow night. He looked around and saw what has changed.

The mansion that Mirage used to live in was still up, except now it looked unkempt and poorly maintained. The lawn looked gnarly and in desperate need of a clean mow, the silver grass was growing. The curtains were drawn shut, he remembers seeing Mirage’s mother staring out the window shortly after finding out the town’s richest kid was murdered and eaten.

He kept walking, he saw new houses that were put up, making the town bigger than what it used to be. He sees new stores in place of old ones he used to frequent back then. He soon reached a familiar home, and walked to it.

His old home, it looked like it hadn't changed at all. He jiggled the doorknob, locked, but with a little demon strength, he broke in.

His Sire was not inside, he looked around to see nothing has changed.

The kitchen? Same, even with the old radio on the shelf.

The living room? Same, especially with that tacky brown wallpaper. Megatron remembers breaking down in there after Orion terrified him by standing in the middle of the road covered in energon, and jumpscaring him by jumping onto the front of the transport and smashing the windshield.

He sighed, and left the house, he stepped over a pile of unopened mail that seemed to have been dropped unceremoniously onto the front step.

He walked down the steps and went to the other place he was most familiar with.

Unicron’s Kettle High School.

The exterior looked the same, Megatron stared up at the lettering on the entrance, it wasn’t flashy. He went to the door, only to be greeted with it being locked.

He pulled, it didn’t budge. And let out a frustrated sigh. He already broke his house’s front door, he can’t break this one, but how else can he get in? With a casual pull, he broke the lock and easily opened it thanks to the demon strength. He walked in.

All the lights were off, leaving everything in a dark hue of black. He carefully stepped through the halls. His digits tracing a row of lockers, the metal cool to the touch. He walked slowly, peering into classrooms and seeing what has changed.

He peered into Mr. Impactor’s science class, seeing very little has changed, except for a smart board now replacing the old fashioned chalkboard he used to take notes off of. He paused for a moment, seeing the old assigned seat he used to share with Orion. He could visualize himself back then, sitting next to Orion, both of them dissecting animals or secretly exchanging notes during class.

He couldn’t help but sadly smile. Those memories were sweet to look back on, but they were also bitter. In hindsight he remembers doing all the work, Orion busy with doodling in his notebook or checking his reflection, he always was obsessed with his image.

He soon kept walking, and saw that a trophy cabinet was dimly lit, illuminating the inside and a small part of the floor as well. Curious, he approached it.

There were no trophies inside, instead it was decorated with a purple backdrop, with paper flowers on the side. In big white lettering on top read ‘In Memory Of.’ He soon looked down and saw pictures of his former classmates.

First was Mirage, wearing a suit, it was probably from one of the dances the school throws in the fall or spring, he was smiling sweetly in the picture, an arm was around his shoulders, below his picture was a small piece of paper, his name written on it in fancy black cursive.

Next to his picture was Swindle, he was dressed up in his usual attire, wearing his jewelry and such, his face giving an awkward ‘please help me’ expression, he was in a classroom, sitting at a desk, holding a pencil. Below the picture was his name. Megatron smiled sadly, the guilt still there.

After him came Starscream, who was wearing his band uniform, holding his drumsticks, smiling at the camera. He was in the school gym. This was probably at a pep rally before a game or something. Megatron looked at the picture, gently touching the glass casing.

Then he saw the fourth and final picture, and instantly all the guilt and sadness was washed away by a tidal wave of anger.

Orion.

Orion was below the three pictures, in his picture he was in his cheer uniform, he was smiling brightly, looking at someone off camera, his arm up in a wave.

Megatron glared at the picture in anger, Orion shouldn’t be on this memorial wall. He killed those mechs, ate them. He ripped up Mirage behind the school, devoured Swindle in that unfinished house, he knows cause he saw it while having interface with Starscream in what could best be described as visions, he saw Orion ripping open Swindle’s chest, he saw the energon splattering the walls pink. He saw him slurping up the energon like a wild animal. He walked in on Orion biting on Starscream’s neck in the abandoned pool. His picture shouldn’t be in this trophy case. Megatron’s breathing quickened, his gaze locked onto the picture of his former amica.

With a scream of rage, he drew back a fist and swung at the case, the glass shattered into a million little pieces and crumbled onto the floor like snow.

Megatron quickly stormed out, throwing open the doors, breaking them in the process.

[sheepfulsheepyardinspace]

Do you have any Star Wars fanfic recommendations, or have a link to someone else's list? I really wanna veg out.

oh my god, DO I. this may have been the best ask in the world. i’m not really sure what u want a feel for, so i threw together some of my favorite longfics for maximum veg time from the ot/pt and links for swr and swtcw recs. they’re pretty much all luke-anakin/vader centric, since that’s kinda my bread and butter.

let’s start with frodogenic, who wrote the first longfic i ever read in sw and might be one of the funniest authors ever. they once reviewed my fanfic & i nearly cried from joy. anyway. 

The Father, 284k+, complete. “Ten years after ROTS, tormenting nightmares of his unborn child drive Darth Vader to extraordinary measures with unexpectedly drastic consequences. Clearly, experience has taught Darth Vader nothing...” 

this is my og star wars fic and boy oh boy is it amazing. i will never get over this. i don’t want to spoil anything but when i say the final chapters are great? i mean they’re legendary. sometimes i still think about them & wish upon a star that i could be such a great writer. vader’s amazing, han is spectacular, and the ocs are fantastic.

Far More Than Rubies, 70k+, complete. “Nine years after AOTC, tragedy revisits the Lars Homestead. Little Luke Skywalker is suddenly plunged into chaos as the rebel movements discover a secret military project that may make a crucial difference in the war with the Empire.”

the spiritual twin of The Father, FMTR takes a look at padmé’s character and relationship with both luke and anakin/vader that’s hard to beat. it’s darker and heavier than The Father, but it hits those same sweet, sweet emotional beats while raising the age-old question: if padmé had lived, what would she have done?

The Family Tree, 12k, complete. “In which Luke Skywalker is stranded in a tree waiting for a flash flood to recede. Too bad he's got company...”

okay, i admit, this isn’t a longfic, but it is a longshot, and it’s amazing. the imagery and description always blow me away, and the interaction (canon-compliant) between luke and vader just [chef’s kiss] get me. vader’s in full, glorious form, and it makes it all the harder when luke wrestles with the knowledge that vader is his father.

Sibling Revelry, 25k, complete. “After Bespin and before Endor, Darth Vader is shocked to discover that Luke and Leia are twins. He's even more shocked when Imperial Intelligence reports that Organa and Skywalker are, erm, a tad closer than previously suspected.”

this is complete crack and humor in the best way possible. it’s crack treated entirely seriously, and you will be in stitches, i promise. no matter how many times i’ve read this i break down.

KittandChips (@kittandchips) writes what i can only describe as food for the soul. the luke-vader interaction is insanely amazing, the world building of daily imperial life and imperial governance is amazing, and vader just has a special je ne sais quoi that u must read to understand––tragic, funny, and so, so fatherly. they’re currently rewriting the Force Bond Series to fit in with newer canon, so i will joyously binge reread the entire again (including the new Force Bond: Mustafar Weekend).

Force Bond 1: Orphan, 47k, complete. “After Owen and Beru are killed by a mysterious stranger, young Luke ends up as an orphan on Coruscant. It's a race against time as Obi-Wan struggles to find Luke before Vader realizes the boy is his son.”

Orphan kicks off the series, which tracks vader and luke’s relationship through the perils of luke’s teenagerhood while growing up under the eye of the emperor and imperial court. it’s filled with slow growth, struggle and misunderstandings as darth vader tries to single parent, and pay off in every installment. the entire series clocks in around 777k+ and is the most joyful, fulfilling reading you’ll ever have. promise.

darth-nickels (@darth--nickels) writes darker, twistier, and terribly, terribly heartwrenching aus. they’ve got a whole host, but let me introduce to my two favorites. also, check out their faux-academia on vader. it’s amazing and i love it, but i admit i am an academia hoe.

Dooku Captured, Pt 2, 16k, complete. “Dooku is taken alive onboard the Invisible Hand, and Sidious' web is torn. The Sith Lord wonders if death might have been preferable to clumsy interrogation by Anakin Skywalker.”

Dooku Captured is a longshot au told from Dooku’s pov which takes the beginning of ROTS and throws it on its head. it’s a fascinating outside perspective of anakin and obi-wan’s relationship and such and interesting examination of dooku’s psyche and especially his complex relationship with the jedi order, qui-gon, yoda, and palpatine. i cannot rec this one enough.

Black Mirror, 90k, incomplete. “The Ghost crew returns to the Lothal when they hear the Empire is investigating the Jedi Temple there. They learn Vader is alone and decide to take him out-- but what they find could change the course of Galactic history.”

Black Mirror diverges into swr territory, but make no mistake: this is entirely an examination of vader and, later, obi-wan as well as ahsoka. luke makes his appearance later in the game, and boy oh boy will you love luke’s portrayal is a microcosm of luke and vader’s relationship within canon. heed the tags, though.

jerseydevious ( @jerseydevious ) is, first and foremost, one of my favorite people on earth. secondly, though, she’s an amazing writer with a deep understanding of vader’s character and psyche, a flair for beautiful depictions, and the true ability to wring every emotion out of your body.

Two and a Half Men (with a baby), 13k, incomplete. “After a long day of bargaining with Hutts and attempting to ignore his past, Darth Vader is nearing the end of his rope. When he discovers his two-year-old son, it's the straw that breaks the semi-rational Sith Lord's back; in a rash act worthy of the Skywalker name, he scoops his son into his arms, steals a shuttle from his own fleet, and punches in random hyperspace coordinates to a destination on the other side of the galaxy. Unfortunately, father and son are not the only ones on the ship.”

Two and a Half Men will stick with you, dude. like no other. i promise. it’s a whirlwind ride with obi-wan, vader, and piett and as funny as it is heartbreaking. it touches on some heavy issues and doesn’t shy away from looking at the damage done to vader––again, heed the tags.

Helioseismology, 4k, complete. “Luke gets shot down on a supply run and caught in an ice storm. It's extremely lucky that his father followed him there.“

i’ll admit. im completely biased about this one because it was a birthday gift to me and i am sucker for litcherally anything when jd puts pen to paper, but believe me when i say you will be awed by the depth and tangled relationships between these luke and vader that jersey can illustrate in a stroke of the paintbrush. im love. always.

izzythehutt ( @izzythehutt ) i am blown away by the intricate dialogue and characterization, always. and the latin puns? im sold. im also a sucker for latin puns, but that’s a story for a different time.

In Loco Pirates, 34k, complete. “A down-on-his-luck Hondo Ohnaka manages to capture the unicorn of all bounties--Luke Skywalker, which sends Darth Vader, Lord of the Sith, on a painfully familiar trip to the planet Florrum to collect his prize. The failed negotiations leave Vader in the awkward position of being stuck in a besieged pirate bunker, trying to balance keeping his wayward child safe (and in his custody) with controlling the tongue of a loose-lipped pirate who--to the surprise of no one--has a bad habit of telling 'amusing' anecdotes from the Clone Wars.”

hondo, aka the best character of swtcw, is brought to life just as vividly on paper as on screen. his entire personality brings luke and vader’s difficulties in a sort of incredulous light, which makes it as funny as it is vulnerable and tragic. the sequel, Palpatine Ad Portas, brings piett into the spotlight, and oh man do his interactions with palpatine and vader bring u all the uncomfortable vibes. relish in it.

sparklight ( @littlesparklight ) man. lemme introduce u to an amazing prolific and detailed writer. i will never get over the series they’ve written & neither will u.

Where Our Intrepid Hero Doesn’t Get Away, 122k, incomplete. “One-shots surrounding either AU situations of canon/legends works where Luke would normally have gotten away (or Vader is simply inserted into the action to come pick his child up) but in these instances doesn't, or completely new scenarios of the same. There are no deep ruminations on consequences of the situations here, just our awful Sith dad picking his son up when he'd rather not be.”

exactly what it says on the tin. u know those glorious moments of fanfic where luke’s gotten captured and ur on pins and needles, waiting for vader to show up in a moment of dark glory? here’s the moment. here’s all the moments.

Space Race, 122k, incomplete. “Owen gives in to Luke's wish to attend the Imperial Academy and Obi-Wan is too late to avert it, though he's not too late to make sure Luke leaves Arkanis before Vader can gets his hands on him. Luke spends over a month running around the galaxy before his father gets him, and from there...”

this story relishes in chase and boy is it fun. it will keep you on the edge of your seat and it’s an amazing ride.

The Suns of Tatooine, 85k, complete. “Luke ends up on a moon swamped in dark side energy after a mission goes wrong, then his father appears... and then they go on a bit of a learning experience. This could've been the only thing that would come of getting through a Sith complex with his father, but thanks to going to free Han earlier than the gang did otherwise, more revelations are had. Will that change anything?”

this series is a thoughtful, contemplative piece examining the nature of the force and the relationship the skywalkers have with tatooine. the descriptions are beautiful, the inventiveness is amazing, and you’ll be thinking about it for long afterwards.

an additional few…

Between Flight and Longing; 34k, complete. “Luke Skywalker and Han Solo journey to the planet Balen'ar on a desperate mission and find more than they'd bargained for.”

a classic and it is for a reason. the interaction between han, luke, and vader is so spectacular and the slow trudge of going through the forest with your greatest enemy and best friend is something hilarious. the end is bittersweet and fantastic.

The Sith Who Brought Life Day, 13k, complete. “An Imperial officer loses a bet and has to get Darth Vader a present for Life Day.”

somewhere between terrifying and dull, this fic presents a canon-compliant look at the hunt for luke and the grinding wheels of the empire. the oc is amazing and it echoes in true star wars spirit: sometimes it’s just some dude who can change the galaxy.

Quintessence, 5k, complete. ‘“Well, Master, I think I’ve found the one positive aspect of this situation.” “Which is?” “The Temple won’t have to pay the costs for our funeral pyres.”’

pure hilarity and shenanigans abound in pre-aotc obi-wan and anakin hijink goodness. lemme tell u––u will deeply sympathize with mace windu afterwards. additionally, check out the rest of the author’s oneshots! they’re deeply thoughtful and the interactions the author writes between obi-wan and anakin are always gold.

some extras & shameless self-promotion

here’s a full list of recommendations for star wars rebels fanfic in case this is what you’re looking for (remember when this used to be a swr blog, lmao)

i’ve also written sw fanfic, both swr and luke-vader centric. drop by and tell me if it’s any good!

[evilzoldyck]

No Strings Attached

You hated being alone.

Throughout all of your life the people you held dear to your heart had left you in the pursuit of their own goals and achievements. Born into a competitive and eccentric world where miscellaneous and bizarre adventures are just at the corner of the street took a toll in holding a stable relationship with just about anyone. Your own parents left you once you were at the age to be able to fend for yourself, moving through various countries and cities in search of new opportunities also meant that you couldn’t make lasting friends, and with no siblings to interact with, you were mostly just by yourself.

Now at the age of adulthood, you managed to establish a close circle of friends as well as a stable job in a comfortable city where the hustle and bustle of it all seemed never-ending but remained unchanging. After years of failing to build some sort of bond with anyone, you developed a sense of fear of abandonment. To make matters even worse, you craved an intimate connection with someone you could share with for the rest of your life.

In juxtaposition of the contrasting characters you possess you were then extremely susceptible to being taken advantage of. There were often too times where you couldn't help falling for their saccharine words, the way they approach you at the bar with their charming and rugged features while offering you only the sweetest drink. However that was all it was, just an illusion powdered up with dishonest sentimentality. 

Your friends would often reprimand you for how easily you’re swayed by their empty promises, how quickly you fall heads over heels, how hastily you give yourself to them. It's no wonder that with your childlike innocence and overzealousness in finding love had gotten you nowhere but more pain and suffering. Founding out the hard way that they never considered a real relationship with you but would rather keep up pretences just to get a taste of what you felt like.

Once they’ve gotten what they desired it was just natural that they leave. You've lost count at how many nights you lost crying over dumb little boys until daybreak, staying in your room until you couldn’t tell the difference between the moon or the sun anymore. You were still young, naive and sensitive; your heart ached from only giving love and receiving nothing in return. 

But was it really that wrong for you to want something you never had? You weren’t quite yet giving up but with the countless series of unfortunate experiences in dating, you harboured quite a stigma around fair looking guys with silver tongues. It was at that moment you met him. 

Jispa.

Despite his boyish looks and charismatic smile that was just so contagious and bright, he was everything you despised. His coy conversations, his flirty demeanour and adventurous spirit told you all you needed to know should you return his stubborn feelings for you. Everything about him reminded you of your exes. Guys like Jispa didn’t have a penchant for caring much about relationships or basically anyone but themselves.

Nevertheless, he was relentless in his own pursuit, showing up wherever you went, showering you with unctuous platitudes and surprising you with small yet thoughtful gifts. It was by far the most anyone had ever done for you, recounting at how quickly they would retract once you reject their offer for a drink to save face.

But not Jispa, he was shameless with his emotions and careless in how he wields it. No matter how many times you’ve turned him away he always came running back optimistically with that gleam in his eyes, hoping that this time you would reciprocate.

You knew you couldn’t let him get too close to you, for if you did you’re afraid you might never recover if he left. People with an innate sense of adventure never tended to stay for too long, just like your parents which you learned well from early on.

However you couldn’t deny that you loved and craved his ardent attention on you

Throughout his incessant interest and amidst of your own solitude you ended up having quite a unique relationship with the said man, one with no strings attached.

Was it strange? Cruel? Ironic? All of your friends seemed to thought so, sleeping with a man who professed his fondness for you while you exploited his affections and used him liberally for your own personal gain. But wasn’t the reason he was after you the exact same thing all men wanted?

At first you thought what you did was completely harmless, in fact you decisively considered that this give and take contract would be beneficial for the both of you. One where you would partake in the enjoyment of each other’s pleasure while remaining completely detached in the emotional aspect. You figured he would tire in your company and move on to other things like so many had, and yet instead after a month of this particular exchange, you would find him still as smitten as the first day you met him.

You knew better than to let your feelings dictate your actions. He was here for a good time and so were you, treating each other more as a convenience rather than proper lovers.

Which is why you were here this evening, dressed at your best from the dress you picked out since last night to meet someone. Sitting alone at the designated café, you checked your phone to see that he was twenty minutes late.

Sure, things can happen during the road, it wasn’t that big of a deal. You made a note that the highways can get pretty congested during the evenings, one of the adverse effects of living in the city was that the traffic could become unbearable during the prime hours. These kinds of thoughts would’ve easily calmed you down but the way he hadn’t responded to your texts all day had your stomach turn into knots.

No way would your friend confidently introduce you to would turn out to be the type to do something like this. She said that he was exactly your type, someone who was also serious about relationships, someone kind and charitable, educated and progressive, someone who valued trust and teamwork. From the way she pitched this guy, he sounded like the one for you.

Quickly texting him another message, you decided to wait for ten more minutes.

Bouncing one of your legs up and down in anticipation, you watched the sky got darker and darker turning from bright orange to a deep purple haze as the minute passes while mindlessly sipping at your drink which became diluted from all the ice melting.

“Excuse me, are you using this chair?” A girl requested politely in a soft tone as if not to startle you. You looked up from the window at the sudden voice and gathered yourself quickly from your daze.

“Oh sorry, I’m waiting on someone.” Shooting her an apologetic smile she shyly apologised back and returned to her group of friends in search for another extra chair somewhere else. The girl may feel a bit self-conscious at your rejection but nothing could compare to how embarrassed you felt.

Getting up from your chair you don’t head for the exit but instead the counter, buying another glass of your favourite drink from this place. The barista took your order where you paid and returned back to your table, scrolling idly through your phone.

The ten minutes you told yourself quickly turned into forty minutes.

After today you would have to look for another establishment that made pastries and drinks as good as this one for you knew you could never show your face here again. The same group of teenage girls who jovially exchanged conversations had soon finished and left the place passing by you and though they didn’t say anything or particularly looked your way, you could feel shame starting to set in at the still clearly empty chair.

You felt as if all eyes were on you, wondering why you were here for so long, who you were waiting for. The workers in this café probably knew that you got stood up, they most likely even knew from way before. This was the third time this week something like this happened to you, actually you hadn’t had much luck in even meeting anyone, after days worth of promising talk you would suddenly never hear from them again.

Anger, resent, humiliation.

Those were the emotions that were raging inside you. You wished you hadn’t been so blinded by false hopes again, you wish you hadn’t spent so much time preparing yourself for the date, you wish you hadn’t listened to your friend, you wish you hadn’t gotten out of bed at all.

The city had now turned on all the lights as the midnight sky settled in for the night. Blinking back the tears you looked up at your contacts and texted a quick message wondering if they had any plans.

Instead of texting back the person called you immediately after the text was delivered.

“Hey, I got your message.” That’s right, Jispa always preferred calling over texting. “I’m at the gym, do you need something?”

Biting the inside of your cheek you held on to the little pride you have left and replied, “no, just wondering.” Deflating once you knew that he was doing something else.

“Are you doing anything right now?”

“No.” Jispa let out a breathy laughter through the phone which sounded so damn attractive that you scolded yourself for thinking so.

“I get it, you just miss me that much,” you could practically see his smug face and teasing grin from the sound of his voice. “Even after we did it so many times yesterday-”

“I’m hanging up,” you retorted back as he mirthfully laughed once more and begged you not to.

“Drop your pin for me babe, I’ll come get you right now.”

“But what about your training session?” you couldn’t help but ask, masking your contentment as soon as he made his mind up on skipping his night time workout routine.

“And pass up the chance to see you? I think you should know me better than that by now.” You could never get over how easily he throws you compliments, nevertheless you started to ease yourself the more you talked to him, your loneliness slowly creeping away from you and making you feel whole again.

You ended up giving him your location at the end as he arrived just minutes later on his infamous motorcycle. Showing you his dazzling smile before making a quick comment on how pretty you looked, he took of his jacket and handed it to you- well more like draped it over your shoulders.

“It’s cold,” Jispa nonchalantly said. You rolled your eyes at his cheesy attempt but thanked him regardless as you got on the back of the seat. You had your hands at his sides before he suddenly intertwined his fingers with yours and pulled you closer so that you hugged him tightly. Sighing in initial reluctance you couldn’t help but rest your weary head against his back as he drove through the streets, enjoying how comfortable this was.

Meanwhile Jispa couldn’t wipe the smile off his face- actually the moment you called he wasn’t able to contain his excitement. Hearing you reach out for him and implying all your needs to be with him made him drown out his thoughts to calm himself down before he goes all loony over you.

Though when he picked you up from the side of the café, he couldn’t help but let guilt eat away at his heart. To see you so heartbroken made his heart ache just as much. It made him wish that he hadn’t let the guy go so easily with a broken nose.

To be able to hold you, touch you and spend countless of passionate nights together is already a blessing, but it seemed like it was never enough for him. He always wanted more from you, whether it was time or sex he could never satiate his desire nor need for you.

Of course he couldn’t let you know he was behind all these unsuccessful dates for the past month, trading information from all the connection he could get to scare these losers one by one. He was the reason they refrained from ever seeing you again. Apparently the chance to go on a date with you or facing the brunt of his anger seemed a bit too risky for all of them to consider.

But he just knew that they wouldn’t treat you right, none of these guys could ever begin to fathom just how precious you are. They could never understand you like he did and love you just as much he does. Why you even bother trying to make it work is beyond him. In his eyes, he couldn’t see anyone but him worthy enough to take such a title.

Often he thinks he’s completely entitled of you, almost treating it as a birth right. To deny him of such privilege is like a crime to his rightful claim.

After turning off the engine, he lets you in all too happily while chivalrously opening up the door for you to enter first. You visited his place many times to become quite acquainted with yourself at the familiar surroundings, even going so far as to know the brand of toothpaste he uses.

Spearmint, a fairly popular brand.

Taking his jacket off and putting it to the side, you heard him close the door before enveloping his arms around you from behind. Gently kissing down the nape of your neck you felt a mix of feelings stirring down inside you. After a rough time back at the café you were elated that there was someone you could spend your time with, however you just weren’t up for some mindless sex at the moment.

Jispa made you feel so good about yourself even in the brevity of the exchange you could feel yourself finding solace in his embrace. During the height of the most passionate moment, you had never felt loved, so wanted by another, to be revered and worshiped that even the gods themselves would shake in envy. But that feeling never lasted, instead it wavered and passed quickly once you’re back at your own apartment the next morning; instead this time, it was really company that you wanted.

Before he could unzip your dress from the back, you turned around abruptly and flashed him a sympathetic smile. “Can we not do this right now? I changed my mind,” you asked, pulling his hands down from you. “I’m really sorry I called you for nothing.”

If he was disappointed Jispa didn’t show it on his face, rather he griped your hand that was subtly pushing him away and squeezed it affectionately. “Hey it’s ok, I don’t mind,” he quickly replied, brushing away some loose strands from your face as he ducked down enough to lower himself to your eye level. “We can always do something else…”

Your eyes flickered up towards him at his suggestion. Something else? Was that against the rules? At first you both came up with arrangements in order to make sure that this was kept strictly professional, but within days you’ve already broken so many rules. Initially you both promised to keep kissing out from your contract, yet Jispa just whispered, ‘sorry’ before pressing his lips against yours. It felt so good and intimate that you let him continue anyway.

Another rule you agreed was that you couldn’t spend the night over at each other’s place, but there were days where he would make valid arguments countering that policy saying that it was too late, too cold, too dangerous that he, in good conscious, could not let you go home.

Already pushing the boundaries of what’s meant to be simple, you’re afraid you’ll cross a line in which you could never turn back, the line you have is already this hazy and you don’t know when you’ll draw a clear one with him.

Jispa could feel your apprehension as a conflict of interest between your mind and your heart occurred inside your head. While rubbing soothing circles at the back of your hand, he couldn’t help but feel pitiful towards you. Before him, there were many others willing to use your naivety for their own benefit that he couldn’t blame you for keeping your guards up around him. Years of neglect and abuse had rendered you to be so sensitive when it comes to the subject of these matters, he couldn’t jeopardise his chance to prove himself to you.

 “We could watch that new movie instead, I’ll even order takeout from that restaurant you like so much,” Jispa prompted cheerfully, amping up the suddenly sullen atmosphere as you laughed in disbelief at his idea.

“I thought you wouldn’t touch anything that goes against your dietary regime,” you remarked, knowing full well that this man cares too much about his health and fitness to even consider fast food as a proper meal.

“I’ll coax myself to eat anything just to have something nice with you,” he grimaced playfully at the thought. “So how about it? Totally platonic.”

“Platonic,” you repeated back after him with a soft smile dancing on your lips. “Sounds good to me.”

His eyes brightened once you agreed, leading you to the couch where he quickly put on the movie as you made yourself comfortable beside him.

Progress, that was all it was, a step by step process on breaking down the wall that’s created such distance between you two. But for now he couldn’t just freely tell you the truth on just how much he liked you, he wouldn’t want to scare you away. Truthfully he knew that threatening these guys to break your heart was eating away at your self-esteem, but if that’s what it takes to make you reach out to him he’d gladly put your feelings aside just this one time.

It seemed like there wasn’t much difference between him and all your past exes. It was a bitter irony, though he claimed that his intentions for you were nothing but pure or that he was the one that wasn’t going anywhere, at the end of the day he would still selfishly take advantage of you just like the others previously had.

[handswritteeen]

(i actually used picrew for this because i didn’t have time to whip something up TT. here’s the link: https://picrew.me/image_maker/1003923 by umasan_hi)

(for @witchhazelbazel​ ‘s oc event!!)

divine name: Lunaria

goes by Akari

age: some kind of old...

height: 5’1 (because irl I’m shorter, this gives me pride)

pairing: up to you haze!

moon archon, archon of darkness/shadows/solitude

Bio: Born out of the darkness of Celestia, Akari is the archon of the moon. Although she was born into a family of immortals, she is one of the remaining archons originally from Celestia, along with her younger twin brother, Haruki. She did not take part in the archon war, seeing that her place in Celestia will not be taken away from her anytime soon. Mortals need the moon, nonetheless the waters must move somehow (which is why she doesn’t have a nation either).

Akari is quite a childish person when it comes to people she’s close to. While growing up, other archons chose to not take her seriously for the way she carelessly walked among mortals. However, she is respected among some adepti and archons for her skill in battle, wielding a sword crafted from blue moon dust (nothing special, just something random) and crystal cores. Her battle style consists of flips and tricks, quite agile moves and skills. Technically, Akari can manipulate ‘dark magic’ (I haven’t really developed this), but can use any of the elements to her will (usually doesn’t, not that necessary for her though). And of course, her abilities become stronger under moonlight.

Akari would usually roam around the mortal world, either visiting other archon’s nations or just wandering around. Mortals have piqued her interest and Celestia seems to have bored her. Her brother detests her love for mortals, saying that they are feebly souls with a weak body.

Personality: Quite intimidating at first; a glance at her would usually leave you in a stare. She’s actually talkative if you were to walk up to her and ask her something; after getting close, she’s willing to open up. Maybe a bit protective of some things.

Companions of Akari are always in the best care. She’s protective, she’ll look out for you whenever she can. She’s lost many, but none have been as close as others. Getting hurt in the end isn’t her biggest concern.

Values: friendships/relationships, gifts from anyone and everyone

Likes: cats, tends to pet them around Liyue; seelies; hydro slimes; has a thing for Diluc’s dandelion wine; guys with long hair 🤤

Dislikes: formalities, having to actually navigate to certain places, stuck-ups; cicin mages

little short story between why the twins hate each other:

Lunaria and Aelius (Haruki’s divine name) were seen as the next most powerful archons to descend from Celestia. Although Akari tends to wander around mortals and hang out with them, Haruki keeps track of his older twin sister out of spite. Akari started to become more and more distant as others in Celestia had become more uptight and formal. Haruki holds the position of a prime example to all archons, a prim and proper star (except Barbatos thinks he’s a total stuck-up). Awhile after the archon war, Akari started to get closer to a human. A mortal that had the same eyes that reflected the sky and the personality of a protective hawk (he was a very pretty mortal, according to Akari). Haruki was not at all fond of this mortal, simply because it was a mortal after all.

One night, after Akari had stayed awhile with the mortal, she made her way back to the home her brother and her shared. She came back to Haruki scolding, shouting, and pure anger being thrown at her. Haruki didn’t understand why his sister was so carefree, why she was so unbound to immortal chains, how could she trust someone so,, easily? He just didn’t understand. What was so special about mortals? Akari stormed out that night and held hands with her favorite mortal under a blue moon. She didn’t face Haruki for a thousand years, but of course, as time passed, so did her favorite mortal; moving on was just a tedious task at this point.

Eventually, Akari waltzed back home to Haruki, only to be surprised with a mortal women clinging to his side, pushing her breasts beside his arm. The look on his face was pure smitten, the sun archon was absolutely whipped for a mortal. A mortal. As surprised as she was, she greeted Haruki with open arms and apologized for her absence. Haruki was quite monotone towards his sister’s presence but introduced the mortal, Ayano. She had long, purple hair and bright brown doe eyes. Akari sensed that this mortal was after something else, as Ayano smirked and a mischievous glint in her eyes appeared after she had looked at the archon.

Ayano appeared around Haruki almost all the time, always clinging to his side, giggling and kissing his cheek (making the younger twin extremely flustered). Once upon a night, Akari was up late, watching Mondstadt’s winds from above. She heard footsteps stumbling around her brother’s bedroom; prying the door open, she saw Ayano hovering over Haruki, her hand right on his chest, chanting something, like a spell. Ayano’s hand glowed, but then she suddenly stopped after feeling the presence of a figure. Akari had already left the house in search of Morax and Xiao.

Sitting in front of them with a cup of tea in hand, she recalled her sightings to the archon and adeptus, voicing her concerns out of panic.

“She’s trying to steal his gnoses, I know it! that spell she was chanting is supposed to reveal the gnosis right in front of her!”

“Did she finish the spell?” Xiao bluntly asked.

“..No. I think she heard me leaving and stopped.”

“So you have yet to confront her, hm?” Morax hummed.

Akari held her chin up high and nodded. “She’s after his power, nothing else.”

And with that, she left her teacup on the table and rushed home with the thought of exposing Ayano’s facade.

By the time she got there, she found them sitting on the couch, all over each other.

“Ahem.” She coughed into her fist.

“O-oh! You’re back.” Haruki pointed out, pushing Ayano softly aside. Ayano huffed and puffed her cheeks out.

“I need to talk to you, little brother.”

Haruki stayed silent and got off the couch, making his was behind his twin to another room.

“Ayano is not here for you. She doesn’t love you at all. She’s here for power.” Akari explained, crossing her arms.

“What makes you think that? She’s everything I’ve ever wanted! She loves me!” Haruki argued.

“Oh please, I saw her chanting a spell on you last night! Right under the moon!”

“And? She was probably just healing some injuries throughout the night!”

“Healing spells don’t require intricate chanting! The spell she used revealed your gnoses! I saw it with my own eyes!”

“Akari, that woman loves me. You’ve always had this stupid, carefreeness, that I never got! You have everything! Let me have this woman’s heart as she does mine! You once loved a mortal, no? How did that go for you?” Haruki glared at her and pushed her shoulder aside and walked back out to Ayano.

Feeling defeated, Akari made her way to Barbatos, chugging down a bottle of the Ragvindr’s wonderful wine. Akari and Haruki don’t speak for just a couple of weeks.

A disturbance in the Sun’s cycle causes Akari to trudge home with regret.

“It’s the middle of a hot summer and your sun has shined for too long-“ Akari opened the door, sighing, only to see a knife with bright carvings pointed to Haruki’s Adam’s apple.

“Oh? Getting kinky in my home, I see.” Akari smirks. “I didn’t know you were the one to enjoy being subdued, little brother.”

“A-akari, please,,” He shuddered.

“Another word and I think we’ll be done here,” Ayano muttered. “For the archon who controls the sun, you’re so weak for lovely people like me, hm? How simple.”

“Oh please, you took the easy way and had him when he was vulnerable, human. Don’t pride yourself,” Akari rolled her eyes and walked towards the two on the ground. “I doubt you can even wield a gnoses to your favor,”

Ayano growled and plunged her hand into Haruki’s chest. Haruki wailed in pain, Akari stood aside, watching the fiasco go down.

Lifting up the glowing white gnoses, Ayano laughed.

“Watch me, it shouldn’t even be that hard!”

“W-wait, Ayano, you can’t! Y-you’ll-“

“Be quiet brother, let her figure it out, she’s gotten this far, she should know.” Akari watched as Ayano tried to resonate with the gnoses, slowly consuming it with some unknown magic.

“Oh, a witch? You fell in love with a witch? What a surprise!”

“Akari! My gnoses!”

“Maybe you’ll be fine without it.”

“Please!”

Akari turned her attention back to Ayano, who was began to cry out from the power the gnoses held. Akari pushed Ayano off of her brother’s lap and grabbed the gnoses from in between her hands, tossing it to her brother and pinning Ayano down.

“I’ll lock you in the depths of shadows forever,” Akari muttered.

“I’d like to see you try!” Ayano spat in her face.

Suddenly, a bright light blinded the both of them. Akari was pushed back onto the floor, while Ayano was chained with some kind of heavenly material.

“Get out. You have no place in Celestia, nor the mortal world, human. May you wander around light.” Haruki spoke up, his white hair, black cowlick on the top of his head, and red eyes glowing.

Akari brushed her hair aside, sighing as Ayano’s body dissipated, her screams fading into the light.

“Hey-“

“Get out.” Haruki said.

“What are you talking about?”

“Get out. You have no place here.”

“Excuse me? I basically saved your life-“

“JUST LEAVE!” He shouted, turning away from Akari’s face.

And with that, the twins have yet to face each other. The sun and moon still switch places in the sky, yet there is an ominous force that made it seem different than before. Akari goes to Morax after that night, groaning in despair and ranting about her idiot younger brother. Barbatos has heard the story enough to recite a song about it, the tale of a split moon and sun. Xiao has the urge to bring his spear up to Haruki’s neck and make him explain for such foolish actions.

Akari’s love for mortals waver, as her broken relationship with her brother has changed forever. Until, one day, a bright, yellow star falls towards the outskirts of Mondstadt, a traveler of the prophecy will appear.

[eggrestes]

the two of us

the lovesquare through the time.

Find it on AO3!

"I win again, chaton." Ladybug greeted him with a giddy smile. She stood tall, hands on hips, brighter than the moon hidden behind the clouds in the sky. She wore a smirk looking so beautiful and stunning his knees would have buckled if he was on the ground. It was one of those rare nights when Ladybug disregarded her responsibilities and just had fun i.e the best nights. Her smile was a little wider, her eyes twinkling and his heart over the moon.

Chat rolled his eyes. "You got lucky."

She huffed and giggled, turning away to go to the next rooftop. Her giggles were always so adorable, her cheeks a little pink. He smiled at her back. He loved losing to her.

He grabbed her hand and bowed low, placing a feather light kiss on the knuckles. She froze, her eyes rounded and mouth agape with shock. No matter how many times he pulled this trick on her she always reacted just like this.

And just like every other time, she snatched her hand back and laughed, light and easy.

"Silly kitty." She said, flicking his bell, taking out her yo-yo and gracefully swung to the next rooftop.

He followed her, slipping a little on the wet roof, his heart beating fast and loud, his ears tingling with her laughter, sweeter than any tune he had ever heard.

•••

August came with a scorching sun and a lot of changes.

Kagami flew back to Japan for further training. Alya and Nino moved in together (Nora had not been a fan of that idea and had let them know that very loudly and violently). Chloe was going to New York for some acting course. Marinette (who might be Ladybug but he can't go down that lane, not today) had gotten into Esmond and would move in the dorms a week before the semester starts.

And Adrien had moved out of his childhood home, out of his father’s dictatorship, a step towards independence.

His new apartment was quaint and smaller than his room back home but it was warmer and alive. Moving out was something Adrien wanted to do for years but seeing the empty shelves and the cardboard boxes in his old room, it dawned on him that he was going away from a house that contained his mother’s memories, comforting as ever. But then there was his father, who had not been happy with his decision to not continue to model after he turned 18 so that he could commit fully to his course at the University and then to move out. He had not even come out to see him off.

Alya, Nino and Marinette had come over to help him organize but left at his request, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

He regretted sending them away. He was too restless to sleep. He could really use someone's company right then.

And so he jumped to the opportunity to go out when Ladybug came knocking at his window.

Currently, they sat side by side on a rooftop, knees touching, fingers millimetres away, the stars twinkling above. Adrien often wondered why Ladybug brought only him to this place. It didn't offer the best view of Paris but it was private because of the quiet neighbourhood. It always felt like they were secret lovers, hiding from the world in broad daylight (or moonlight as it would be usually dark) when they ended up here.

Their mood was a little pensive. Both were a little lost in their head. It was obvious that his Lady needed some company that night. And so did he.

They both tried to talk a little but eventually gave up , just sat there side by side in solace.

Ladybug's presence calmed him down. She was one constant in his life, always confident and supporting, making his heart fill with hope. She showed her adoration in the form of sweets and gifts, putting so much thought and detail in them it startled him. She picked him up when he felt low and disconnected, putting faith in him even when he often lost it.

And if she was Marinette, then it made her so much more real, human and unattainable. Someone who was as sweet as her and determined as her wouldn't look at him twice. It hurt him a little that his affection would never be fully returned but he was fine with it. As long as he could be with her as a friend, he would be blessed and content.

"Do you ever wonder what would have happened if I had kissed you that day?" The voice was quiet and he would have easily missed it if not for the placid quiet of 2 A.M.

Oh that day.

They were sitting right here, around this time. The mood was light, both talking nonsense and their laughter loud and carefree.

Until Ladybug exclaimed, "I could kiss you right now."

And before either of them could process what she had said, Adrien replied, "Maybe you should."

He hadn't stopped thinking about it ever since.

And apparently neither had Ladybug. Adrien still finds it hard to believe that Ladybug had noticed him, had actually thought about him during the day when he wasn't around and had thought about kissing him twice. His brain went static at that thought. After all he had always longed for Ladybug, even when he dated Kagami, and then later Jean. His feelings for her had started out strong but eventually it dimmed down but never truly went away. The feelings were always there, like the quiet hum of the laptop when it was turned on.

Before he could even blink, Ladybug stood up,muttering under her breath, a little embarrassed.

"It's late. I should go now." She said, not looking him in the eye, holding out her hand. He took it and slowly got up, blood rushing to his ears. He resisted the urge to scratch his neck. She held him close, hand tightening around his waist just before she took the first swing. He hoped that she was not able to hear the erratic beating of his heart.

When they got back to his place, a little winded and their cheeks flushed now because of the wind too. She gently put him down, her hands lingering a little. And then she got on tiptoes and lightly brushed her lips against his pulling back before he could react.

"Good night, Adrien." She whispered cupping his cheeks and then was gone with a zip.

He just stood there stupefied, fingers hovering above his lips, the same lips that Ladybug had just pecked, until Plagg grumbled something about lovesick teens, coaxing his limbs move.

He fell asleep with the feel of her lips on his, the feel of her hands on his cheek, his heart warm.

•••

Marinette was not having a great day.

She had slept through the alarm and had to skip breakfast to get to class. Her designs were heavily criticized and now she had to do it all again. An expensive fabric was ruined when Alya had accidentally spilled coffee on it.

And now she just couldn't get the colours right.

She groaned and flopped down on the desk. Her luck seemed to disappear with her alter-ego's suit. She was so tired, the temptation of just closing her eyes and passing out right at her desk was strong.

There was a light knock on her window and she just grunted in reply. After all there was only one person who entered her room through the window. (Leaving that one time when Alya had actually climbed the three stories on a dare.)

"Long day?" Chat Noir greeted, right at her ear. She was startled and lifted her head just to give him a stink eye. He gave an apologetic smile. She put her head back between her arms on the desk and sighed.

She had told everyone that she was to be left alone that day but he had showed up anyway. She was glad he had but was not going to voice it.

Through her peripheral vision she could she Chat- who was also Adrien, and oh my god why was this fact making her feel things - taking in the disaster that was her room: papers, pieces of fabric lying about, some random pin in between waiting to needle her when she least expected. Then his focus shifted back on her, her hair pinned up messily, her fingers red and eyes heavy with sleep.

His face wore a soft look, his gaze bright and full of affection. Marinette felt a bit self-conscious. Ever since the reveal that her dorky, pun-loving partner was also the boy she had mooned over, things felt a little different. Not uncomfortable but so much more raw and real and intimate.

His face scrunched up in determination, lips pressed thin and how the hell did he look so cute and why did she swoon at it.

Get a grip Marinette, you are 19 now not 15!

"C'mon m'lady, let's get you to bed." He lifted her up in his arms, her heart beating a little bit faster because of that nickname. She loved it when he called her that. He only called her that when they were alone.

She whimpered in protest, trying to get back in her chair. If she didn't figure that now she would never be able to.

He just shook his head fondly at her antics, holding her firmly against his chest.

"That can wait for tomorrow, little lady. You need your beauty sleep." He said carrying her over to her bed, dodging the pins and the fabrics along the way.

She gave up struggling and relaxed in his arms, trying to get as warm as she could. She should have closed the window.

Her thoughts drifted how she was being carried princess styled by Adrien (it's not the first time he has done this but this time she knows.) She thought about her crush on Adrien and his on Ladybug and how they had been running in circles for years. They were so oblivious. And dense. She suppressed a smile. (The funniest bit was that Adrien still doesn't know about her hopeless crush on him though. Nino had told him but he had laughed him off.)

Finally they made it to her bed and he gently put her down.

"Good night, Marinette." He said patting her head, smiling a little.

She took hold of his wrist just when he was withdrawing it. His eyes rounded, surprised, mouth agape.

"Stay." She whispered. "You are so warm. You know bugs get cold in winter."

He chuckled "it's not winter yet." But got in her open arms. She snuggled him closer, burying her head in his chest.

A soft "claws in" and the magical suit was replaced by cotton, claws replaced by fingers, running soothing circles on her shoulder. She drifted off to sleep wrapped in his arms and scent.

•••

Wednesday evenings were spent on Adrien's couch, the two of them finding comfort in each other's presence. It had become a tradition between them when she had one day come over for video games. Mostly they played video games, but sometimes, like today, they just sat in comfortable silence, doing their own work.

Adrien was lying on the couch, head in her lap, his long legs hanging off the handrest. Marinette scrolled through youtube, hoping something catches her eye, while her hand absentmindedly snakes into his head. His hair was soft (when was it not) and he leaned into her touch.

She gave up and closed her phone and looked over at Adrien. He looked at ease, just on the edge of sleep.

He was probably listening to a podfic about astrology which he would tell her about later. He loved talking about the distant stars and possibility of alien life and ranted about it to anyone who would listen.

Stupid nerd.

And now he had been prescribed glasses.

Stupid, blind nerd.

Her stupid, blind nerd.

Alya often complained that she spent more time with him rather than her. It was an understatement. Both of them were constantly in contact through one means or another. If they were not at others place (a very common sight), they would be out fighting an akuma or patrolling. Or they would be texting. Or they would be out stupidly wandering the city, arguing which restaurant or cafe they should try out that day.

Acquaintances assumed they were dating. Her classmate had actually thought that they were engaged. ("You both have matching charms!") Maman gave her a knowing smile when she would pick up some sweets for him. Papa had actually greeted him as son-in-law but he was too scared to correct him. ("What if he gets akumatized again?" He had argued, face pale.) Even Nino had said that being in the same room as them was sickening because of the unresolved tension.

Alya had sighed and told her to just ask him out already and put everyone out of misery. "Besides what's there to lose, 'nette?"

What was there to lose?

Their partnership. The banter. Theses Wednesday nights. The flowers left at random places with a note and a pun. The silly jokes, eye rolls and nose boops. The little touches when they were out with friends. The eyes seeking out the other's even when the room is full of people. The unwavering trust when the other is about to do something reckless. Their quiet conversations at 2 A.M., voices so low they would whisper into each other's ears. The companion she had been confiding in for years and who was so precious, so close to her heart that she didn't know if she could go a day without him.

Him.

Her partner who was lolling off in her lap, wearing ladybug PJs. Whose heart was so pure and full of love she wondered how lucky she got to find him and win his trust, his love. Why was she afraid when she knows that no matter what happens, he would still be there by her side?

His eyes opened when her hand went still at that thought and blinked as if he had woken in a stranger's house. He really did look like a lost kitten. His eyes found hers and he relaxed again, her presence reassuring, sinking back in the couch,eyes closing again

Seeing this made her heart swell, getting so big she thought that it would burst right out of her. She knew that she loved him, her feelings getting deeper and stronger as the years passed. It was a fact when it came to her. But right then she realises how strong those feelings were. She felt like she was drowning in it, too helpless to even move.

Adrien seemed to sense the change in her mood (because of course he did) and partially got up on his hands, a worried look on his face.

"Bug?" he called.

She didn't say anything.

"Mari?" He called, again. "Are you o-"

His words were cut off as she pulled him towards her and bended down to press her lips against his. She had never imagined that she would have to bend down to kiss her horrendously tall partner but then again many things weren't going the way she had thought so why would this be any exception.

He kissed back, a hand cradling her cheeks so tenderly she melted. The kiss was rough as if they were trying to make up for the lost time. And maybe they were. They broke apart gasping for air but kissed again, this time slower, Adrien now sitting in her lap.

Eventually they stopped. She rested her head on his ,eyes still closed, a small smile forming on her face.

They would be more than okay