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miss-kittys-magical-library · 4 years ago

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Into The Mystic

(Leon x Honey one shot)

Warnings: smut and fluff

A/N: Honey and Leon get what some people don't, another chance at their first time. It's my birthday, and I'll continue getting my faves laid if I want to!!

Leon felt uneasy about their move to Manhattan. Honey had spent several years on the run from the FBI. But she slipped her old neighborhood on like the coat he bought her their first Christmas. It was warm and familiar to her.

Leon, on the other hand, was anxious. He still looked over his shoulder the last few weeks. He was unable to let go of the idea that they were squared up with both organizations. Honey and Kidman got them to out bet one another based on all the documents Leon had hidden in his belongings when they left London after.. Not only were they clear, they got to keep the money. But not without an ominous warning that the couple might owe them a favor in the future.

In The Village, Honey and Leon's flat was spacious. They had a massive kitchen and living area. A clawfoot bathtub and shower and both of them could spend time together without banging elbows. There were two bedrooms and a walk-in closet. A room too large for an only child like Selina, but there was hope more kids may one day follow. There was a fire escape for plants and smoking weed late after the little one went down. Most importantly, they had a king sized bed and a master room they never had to split with anyone.

Leon sat on the edge of their giant bed and waited for Honey. Whatever it was she was doing in the closet. He waited for her with patience for the last year, the last few weeks, these last hours until Selina went for her nap.

Despite being together again, he hadn’t actually been WITH Honey. He forgot how much he loved sex with her. He was always too high since she and her pregnancy left London for India. He stayed faithful and wanked to the photos she left behind. Or the erotic letters she wrote. So much had happened, he settled for her kisses and held her while she slept.

“Fuck yeah! I found them! Ok just a few more minutes, alright. Sugar did a number on my body, not sure if they’ll fit.” Honey shouted out at Leon from the depths of the closet.

“Your body is quite lovely,” Leon claimed. “All soft curves ‘n’ such. You haven't given me a go at seeing you proper naked since everything. I miss it. Bring it out here, lemme get a toss in?”

“That's what I'm trying to do, you knob!” Honey waved a hand from inside the closet. Her arm covered in leopard print. “I'm just nervous is all.”

Leon's eyebrows raised, “You taking the piss? Honey Comb, nervous about sex. With me? I reckon you're the sexy one between the two of us, yeah? Those hips and tits, like a sculpture. Bloody hell I'm built like a baby deer. You made me shave, and I look like a mental teenager.”

“Fuck’s sake, Leon! You look exactly like you did the day we met. That's what is doing me in. Of course I've got nerves, we haven't had sex in over a year. It's like, our second first time or something.”

He never thought of it like that, but she was right. They were getting reacquainted. Having to adjust to new roles as parents and partners. Leon had to adjust, Honey had six months on him with the baby. It was gobsmacking how quickly she settled in as his number one thought. How his brain now switched automatically from having sex with missus to his daughter.

Selina with her big, dark eyes like Mummy, but Leon's wild curls. The way she hardly fussed and loved being bound up to his chest as they walked the city. She would stare at him and tilt her head around to make sure Honey was still there too. Then she would smile around her pacifier, and that was Leon's too. A much better picture to fill his head at night than the agent with an axe protruding from his back and dead bodies he stepped over as they hurried away.

Leon clenched his eyes shut from the memory. He inhaled deep and exhaled slow, but his hand trembled with a craving for opium or or anything. Except he went cold turkey the moment they got in the back seat of that Mustang Kidman stole. He was clean, except the odd joint. Honey said that wasn't the same, it calmed his nerves. Healthier than a head shrinker.

“Close your eyes, alright?! I had to set up the record player. God I hope watching my godmother paid off.”

Leon obliged, “Done!”

He could sense Honey in front of the bed as the music started. A giant, dopey grin spread across Leon's face when he opened his eyes, “Alright, doll.” He leaned back to watch.

Honey started to twist her body to the ground with her back to him. She held the leopard coat tight around herself as her hips started to sway to and fro hidden by the giant jacket. She opened one side to reveal a bare shoulder that she rolled to the music. Then repeated again with her other shoulder before she dropped the coat enough to show her bare back right above where a bra strap would be. Leon bit down hard on his lip.

Honey covered herself and spun to face her partner. She opened the jacket to reveal a strapless bra, high waisted black panties and thigh highs held up by a garter belt. Leon squirmed in his spot when she placed a foot beside him on the edge of their bed.

Her hips never stopped their movement as she unsnapped one stocking and started to roll it over her leg and over her knee. She stepped out of it and hung it over Leon's shoulder. She switched to the other side and placed that foot beside Leon now. He grabbed her ankle, but she slapped at him playfully and shook her head. Her finger wagged back and forth.

Now Honey leaned her body forward like she was going to sit in Leon's lap. It was so quick, he almost lost balance. She did this rhythmically a few times before presenting her garter belt to him and gestured he undo this one. He was all too happy.

Leon started to pull the nylon forward once it was freed. He palmed the soft skin of Honey's inner thigh and the back of her calf as she let him take this side off. He couldn't help bending to kiss the same spot on her body where his hand had been. She didn't stop him as his lips trailed her knee and calf. In fact she forgot herself when he looked up at her with his bright, verdant eyes.

“Stop!” Honey’s cheeks were pink and hot with embarrassment. “You're making me forget what I'm doing! I'm trying to make this special for you.”

Leon’s hands traveled up Honey’s hips and waist and splayed out along her back under the fur coat. He buried his face between her breasts and showered them with kisses that moved down. His fingers alternated between massaging her back and backside all while his tongue traced the line in the center of her stomach and dipped teasingly into her navel.

“We have a daughter together. I'm your husband, and you’re my wife. Blimey, you chose me for some reason. That's the biggest mystery of this bloody universe.”

Honey’s fingers tangled and untangled and tangled again throughout Leon's hair. She melted her body into his as he spoke. She held his head to her chest. “What's a mystery?”

Leon unhooked her bra with little effort. It fell to the floor so he could lose himself one more time in her cleavage. This time his hot mouthsucked on her hardened nipple. He switched to the other and teased it with his tongue. Honey's grip tighter on the back of his head as she urged him back towards her stomach.

“That you love me,” Leon’s response muffled. He bit at the waistband of her panties and tugged it down and off with her help.

Honey was naked under the big coat and stood exposed to her husband. A body she wouldn't show him the last few weeks. Leon drew her foot back up to the bed. His eyes gawked at her breasts and her stomach and her pubic hair. She couldn't tell what he was thinking, but all of her own thoughts rushed out of her head when he suddenly slid two fingers inside her.

“Fuck!” Honey cried out and dug her nails into Leon's shoulder.

He dove them in and out of her body. Hooked them just a bit and kept pumping at the wetness and her slit. His eyes on her sex as he did it almost fascinated by how deep they went. His middle finger found her clit which he fondled momentarily before he replaced his fingers with his mouth and tongue.

Leon flicked his tongue back and forth like a snake. He held Honey's backside and pulled her onto his face. His mouth and tongue worked together to elicit cries of pleasure from the woman in his arms. It goaded him into going faster until he knew she couldn't take anymore. He withdrew his tongue and sat back to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. A satisfactory grin dimpled his cheek.

Honey got her hands on Leon's boxers and yanked them down and off. She went to take the coat off but he shook his head. His eyes begged her to leave it on. So she did as she straddled his willowy body and took his cock in her hand. She positioned it just outside her entrance and teased the head with it. She ran it just outside and Leon agonized in her grip.

“Honey,” that familiar drawn out whine like music to her ears before she sank down onto him.

Leon's hands splayed out across Honey's back once more as she started to ride him. Her hips undulated back in time with the rhythm of the record that had started over in the background. Arms draped in a lackadaisical fashion over his shoulders.

Leon raised his hips to just immerse himself inside her walls as she bucked on his lap. His hands on Honey's waist to aid in the powerful back and forth motion.

Neither was sure if it was the build up or how long it had been since their last time, but Leon didn't last. That was ok Honey kept reassuring him as he let go of everything and came. A tremble coursed through Leon as she hugged him tightly, both their hearts beat wildly and out of control. Honey didn’t cum, and that was alright too.

Then Selina began crying from the other room, and Honey's breasts started to leak milk on instinct. Leon's chest was wet, and he held his wife back to stare at them as they did the other function boobs were meant to perform.

“Right on,” he said simply with a nod of his head.

Honey stopped being mortified right then of the way it looked, or the things her body was doing because of the baby. Their baby.

This sweet, intelligent, passive, lithe, sexy man beneath her with the eyes like moss and angled jaw and fuzzy eyebrows and messy hair wanted her. Leon would always want Honey. At 23. At 25. At 36 and 43 and 57. For now they were just getting re-started.

Tag list: @robertsheehanownsmyass @elliethesuperfruitlover @frogs--are--bitches @super-unpredictable98 @slutforrobbiebro @badsext @nightmonsters @bisexualnathanyoung @rob-private

#robert sheehan #robert sheehan character fics #leon #leon x honey

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myth-lord · 4 years ago

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Why don’t you just DIE! (already)

Sometimes when you kill an enemy it isn’t exactly the end of the fight, sometimes it is just the beginning!

These are all the monsters from my list/project that can metamorphic into a new form after you seem to have beaten them.

KHALKOTAUROI

First Form:

Much like a mechanical/golem-like bull made from metal, strange red fiery spiritual fire leaks from its cracks, eyes and nostrils.

Reborn Form:

After you destroy the mechanical body an full HP Aatxe spawns, this red bull spirit was trapped inside the metal shell and is more angry than before.

ALP-LUACHRA

First Form:

Like a very pulsing big human, almost bursting and very disgusting, intelligence isn’t in its eyes, it just wants to eat, instead of a tongue however an Olm/Amphibian-like creature bursts from its mouth, seemingly controlling the human host.

Reborn Form:

After killing the human host, the small Alp-Luachra bursts from the corpse and is forced to fight for itself, it tries to enter the bodies of your playable characters, so you better kill it fast.

MANANANGGAL

First Form:

Much like a female version of the Aswang, which are demon-possessed humans in my project, much like the creatures from the movie Evil Dead.

Reborn Form:

After you do enough damage to the Manananggal it will turn into a different form, it sprouts bat-like wings from its back and its torso rips itself free from the lower body, its intestines dangle beneath it and it can use these organs to attack enemies with.

Third Form:

Doing even more damage to this flying form will morph it into the final form, which is just a head with bat-like wings instead of ears, much like a more crazy and scary looking Chon-Chon (my other flying head which is unrelated to the Manananggal), in this final head-form the Manananggal is extremely desperate and it attacks with tentacles which dangle from its neck.

AWD GOGGIE

First Form:

Like a horrifying giant green caterpillar.

Reborn Form:

After you seemingly kill it, it will turn into a cocoon, and while you may think this will turn into a butterfly monster you are wrong, the Awd Goggie is loyal to its giant Caterpillar form and will become an bigger, more colorful red spiky caterpillar, it gains very different attacks and abilities in this new form. You can destroy the cocoon before it hatches, so the second form can be stopped, if not, it is a pretty tough enemy to fight!

EINHERJAR

First Form:

Much like a bigger Berserker (wild humans bred for combat and war) with stronger armor and instead of two small axes like their Berserker brothers use, the Einherjar uses a giant axe.

Reborn Form:

Even after the death the Einherjar won’t stop fighting, it turns into a Draugr first, which is a zombie-fied version of the Einherjar, it behaves much like the Draugr-enemy, but it can’t re-spawn as a Draugr after being killed, as it has a third form as well.

Third Form:

Killing the zombie form of the Einherjar also doesn’t stop it from fighting, now it will turn into a powerful spirit and picks up his axe again to fight once more, instead of striking flesh and bones the Spiritual Einherjar targets and destroys the soul/spirit of its victims.

BINAYE AHANI

First Form:

These twin aberrations are also found as a duo, you can target each of the two twins separately.

Reborn Form:

The best way to deal with these monsters is trying to kill them both at the same time, as when you kill one of the twins first the second will go berserk and transforms into an even more abominable and powerful form, raging with anger and emotions after losing its other half, it gains some new lightning-based abilities in this new form.

BUBAK / TATTY BOGLE

First Form:

The first half of this monsters fight is mostly magical as it seems to be just a scarecrow hanging from the famous wooden crosses they are mostly found on in real life, in this form it just summons fear-magical attacks, illusions of your worst fears and supports the other enemies on the battlefield with its evil magical buffs.

Reborn Form:

After doing enough damage to a Bubak it will turn into a physical attacking enemy, it will jump from the wooden cross and now replaces the magical attacks for physical attacks, it’s attacks can still cause the fear-effects on your playable characters.

DJIEIEN / DEATH WEAVER

First Form:

While still alive, these macabre Lich-like spiders look pretty much like giant monstrous spiders, while they have undead features, they aren’t really undead, YET.

Reborn Form:

After being killed the Djieien’s own necromantic poison automatically reanimates its corpse into an undead, much like a lich, but instead of a human it is a giant spider. While alive the Djieien are already terrible horrors with abilities to create undead minions with their necromantic poison, but in their undead forms the creatures becomes even more powerful and harder to defeat, it can create mummy-like minions with its magical webs and only critical hits can fully destroy them.

FAFNIR / GREED DRAGON

First Form

: Vile but beautiful, that is the best way to describe these golden dragons of extreme greed. A Fafnir looks like wingless golden dragon surrounded by its own treasure and covered in precious jewels and legendary items of value.

Reborn Form:

Even after the death these dragons can’t part with their own treasures, their avarice-cursed spirits will possess their treasures and animate them into a living treasure heap. While not as powerful as the dragon itself, this form gives the Fafnir a second chance to defeat their foes and still being in control of their treasure.

GOBLIN / ELOKO

First Form:

At the start of the battle these green, envious, small humanoids start in a trio, standing on each other’s shoulders, the highest Goblin on top uses a ranged weapon to attack.

Reborn Form:

After some damage is done, one of the three goblins dies and they are now a duo, this changes their entire tactics and they use a new weapon together, they use a very long saw (used to saw through trees) together, they run through enemies both holding the saw on one side.

Third Form:

After receiving more damage the second Goblin also breaths out his last breath and joins the dead, leaving a single Goblin behind to fend for its pathetic existence, in this form the Goblin mostly tries to escape, leaving the players characters without the deserved exp, so you have to kill the Goblin before it escapes.

SPRIGGAN

First Form:

Spriggans are Goblins infected with fey-energy, this mostly happens to goblins that live in the fey forests or which have friendships with fey. They have blue skin instead of a green skin, but they are still pathetic like their goblin cousins, however when they become scared or angry they turn into their reborn form.

Reborn Form:

When angry or scared (in other words when their HP is almost depleted) these blue fey goblins increase in size and strength and become a giant version of their former self, pulsing with fey magic. Why the Spriggans gained this ability is unknown, though wizards think it has something to do with the goblins/and/spriggans envy for the size of bigger creatures, fey magic helped them in achieving this goal, though the progress of turning so large isn’t without pain and stress for the otherwise pathetic creatures. After their anger or stress has gone away the Spriggan will shrink in size again.

HEIKEGANI

First Form:

I’m still experimenting with this creature, but I think I have a start now: The first form of the Heikegani in my project is of a human-corpse which head is replaced with the body of these demonic crabs, the crabs replaced the victims head and ride the corpse like a rider would ride a horse. The reason the Heikegani are so obsessed with “wearing” human bodies is because the fact that humanoid hands can hold weapons, and Heikegani are addicted to fighting and weapons, mostly swords and katanas.

Reborn Form:

After you reduce all the Heikegani’s HP its mounted body will perish and the small crab-creature will have to fend for its own, it has some nasty painful attacks even in this form though, so it isn’t defenseless to say the least.

KERIT / CHEMOSIT

First Form:

While Kerits appear to be just Black Bears, the real creature is actually an alien parasite made up from only pink and purple tentacles, they thrive inside the bodies of bigger predators, in general most are found in bears, but big cats or wolves are also possible, some were even found in predatory fishes like sharks. Anyway, in my projects game-sprite the Kerit is always a Black Bear, just to make things less complicated. While they appear to be just black bears, three tentacles sprout from their maws, hungry for the brains of other creatures, as Kerit (the parasite) needs brains to stay intelligent and alive.

Reborn Form:

After enough damage is done to their bear-host the pink/purple tentacles burst from their fleshy-shell, the creature now appears like a messy undead bear with a LOT of tentacles coming out of its torn-off lower-maw and from its belly, the largest tentacles replaced the bears sluggish locomotion. In this new form the Kerit gains more psychic attacks, and it can hit multiple enemies at the same time.

LOU CARCOLH

First Form:

This giant horrifying snail still has its shell on its back during its first stage.

Reborn Form:

After doing enough damage, the shell will break and the entire slimy snail creature is visible, while it loses a lot of defense in this shell-less form, it gains speed, and its slime-like abilities become more powerful in this stage as well.

MOROI / VAMPIRE

First Form

: Much like a vampire from twilight (just kiddn), more like a vampire from Interview with the Vampire, a beautiful man/woman (my project has both these) holding some (blood) wine in a royal-looking glass, it is dressed in fine clothes and both the male and female Moroi look like noble and rich humans.

Reborn Form:

Doing enough damage to these undead however, will release their real forms, which are far less noble and pretty, more monstrous and hungry for the blood that was denied from them, you see, the Moroi needs blood on its skin regularly to stay this pretty and civilized, without blood it turns into the monstrous, bestial undead it was intended to be.

STRIGOI / NOSFERATU

First Form:

The parents of the Moroi, these look more like the Nosferatu (cool and actual-scary vampires for newbies) and they embrace their monstrous nature, they have the power to control the blood of themselves and others, this gives them their ability to control animals, mind-control and such as well.

Reborn Form:

While already monstrous and ugly in their first form, their true form is even more bestial, they sprout giant fleshy bat wings from their backs and their fangs grow even more out of proportion, their power over blood becomes also stronger in this form, as anger turns the Strigoi more powerful.

OTSO

First Form:

In this form they are just bears with a row of green hairs running along their backs, just a cool looking bear, while they don’t have any magical abilities in this form, nature seems to protect them and after every physical bear-attack the Otso makes, nature makes a move for it as well, this can be healing the Otso randomly, giving it more strength, or summoning plant-based creatures to aid it, the Otso has the intellect of a real bear, so it doesn’t even realizes it is being helped by higher spirits.

Reborn Form:

After you kill this beautiful bear creature however, nature will embrace the bear and merges its spirit and corpse with the plant matter around it, turning the Otso into a bear made from wood, plants and other natural material, now the bear doesn’t need nature anymore to fend for itself, as it became a force of nature, natures protector, natures soul warrior, it gains intellect of its own and many magical abilities involving plants and nature, while its first form is a BEAST, its new form is a PLANT.

POLONG / CARNAGE

First Form:

What seems to be just a bloody zombie is actually a horrible blood-parasite in a corpse shell. In this form the Polong is actually very weak, and its true form is far more dangerous.

Reborn Form:

After you destroy its corpse-home, the Polong bursts out as an water elemental-like creature made from blood, the blood of murderers, thieves and other criminals to be exact. A creation of the vile Strigoi, these blood parasites gather more blood to grow larger and split into multiple Polongs after they absorbed too much of it. In this form its far more dangerous, it can harden its own bloody mass into red obsidian-like spikes to do some serious damage to its victims and enemies. The worst thing is that after another enemy or playable character dies the Polong can enter the corpse again and regenerate all its lost hitpoints, be sure to first kill the Polong and then any other creature on the battlefield.

POLTERGEIST

First Form:

These psychic spirits (also called Psychic Elementals) can enter and animate almost any tiny, small and medium object they encounter, I’m not so sure what object the Poltergeist in my project is found in, but it is probably some furniture like a chair or maybe cutlery.

Reborn Form:

After you destroy their inanimate shells the psychic spirit of a child burst out, it is a very vague humanoid spirit though, more like an insane mind of a child coming to life, it loses any physical attack it had in its object form, but gains powerful psychic abilities in return, if you keep it alive for multiple battle-rounds, it sometimes finds another object and becomes a physical attacker again.

DYBBUK

First Form:

While the Poltergeist is the psychic energy and soul of a paranormal child, the Dybbuk is the psychic energy of a demon, unlike the Poltergeist which can only possess inanimate objects, the more powerful Dybbuk can possess almost any living creature weaker than itself, it is hidden in random other enemies, and gives these monsters/creatures not only more HP but also powerful psychic abilities.

Reborn Form:

After you kill this other monsters the real Dybbuk bursts free, now losing any psychical attack it had and focusing entirely on its extremely powerful psychic abilities, it can also posses other monsters now, and if not protected by spells, your own heroes/characters can also be possessed if they are unlucky. The Dybbuk’s real form is even more insane and disturbing than the Poltergeists form, much like a demonic mind gone wild.

POLUDNICA / LADY MIDDAY

First Form:

In their first form these Nymphs of Light, sunrays and heat are still pretty, hiding their burned faces underneath their golden waving hair, almost appearing like Hesperids, the gentle nymphs of the sun or even muses.

Reborn Form:

After these ladies become angry and almost perish however, their real nature becomes apparent, their hair turns into solar-like fire, and now their burned faces become visible. Their already deadly scythes become even more deadly and become double-sided and they glow like the sun, an aura of heat becomes visible and everything around them catches flames, you really shouldn’t anger these ladies!

RAIJU

First Form:

Being playful shapeshifters, the Raiju is mostly encountered as a tanuki/badger/small predator in the wilds, in their true form they aren’t as cuddly though.

Reborn Form:

After being attacked a lot the Raiju sheds its fake form and turns into the lightning elemental it was born to be, just a wild mess of lightning and electricity without any form of its own. This Raiju isn’t as playful anymore as it is now angry that you hurt it, all it wanted to do is play with you, it didn’t know nor cared for its lightning hurting its playmates in the progress… These lightning elementals are very hard to hit and magic or magic enchanted weapons are needed to dispatch them once and for all, earth magic does great against them.

RAT KING

First Form:

Rat Kings are bizarre creatures, they appear to be just larger-than-usual rats with bright red eyes that collect swarms of non-intelligent rats around them to become a living swarm of rats (not bound by the tails though, like in the real folklore, I left that bit out of my version). All the rats in the swarm are controlled by the Rat King and they are more than willing to fight and die for their “King”.

Reborn Form:

After defeat is in range, the desperate little creature rapidly starts to devour all the death rats that made up its swarm, increasing the Rat Kings own size until it rivals the size of a bear, in this form I like to compare it to the Ugjuknarpak, a giant rat from Inuit myths. The rats that were still alive swarm all over the now giant Rat King like a living coat, functioning as a living armor of suicidal rodents.

RAUDKEMBINGUR / TROLUAL

First Form:

These red-painted monstrous whales make Moby Dick seem like a wussy, their biggest hobby is destroying ships which they use their entire mass upon, one of the biggest enemies in my project, the Raudkembingur in Mythica is like all the Evil Whales (they are all found in ABookOfCreatures) into one in my project, spare for the sharp-finned Sverdhvalur which most important feature (its sharp dorsal fin) I gave to the Japanese monster shark Isonade.

Reborn Form:

Sometimes when you defeat/kill a Raudkembingur it will turn into a Bakekujira/Ghost Whale, born from vengeance these ghostly skeletal whales never stop attacking and tracking their killers. Bakekujira are also found in the seas on their own in my project, but they can also spawn from killed Raudkembingur on the spot.

GASHADOKURO / BONE LORD

First Form:

A gigantic skeleton, nothing more, nothing less. They are created from the merged combined bones from the victims of starvation, a vile creation of the Horseman of Famine (Limos in my project)

Reborn Form:

After you defeat these giant skeletons, they will fall apart into a small army (5) of lesser skeletons (called Spartoi in my project).

STELLA

First Form:

These small Crown Of Thorns starfish monsters are burning with heat, in their first form they are red with almost red-hot spikes covering their bodies, Stella can control their own temperature and turn the water around them very hot.

Reborn Form:

After they are defeated however, their temperature and abilities changes to colder climates, they now can freeze the water around them and also the blood in their enemies bodies, their color changes to a beautiful blue with almost frozen spikes covering their entire starfish bodies.

SUCCARATH / SU

First Form:

See the artwork for what it looks like.

Reborn Form:

The Succarath doesn’t really change into a different form, it just spawns its children on the battlefield, and when you kill the Succarath while there is still a child alive, the soul of the Succarath will be transformed into its psychic child, morphing it instantly into the Succarath itself, you have to kill all the children first to really defeat this creature.

BOLOTNIK

First Form:

These fat, lazy and spoiled toad-humanoids sit on a mobile-throne which is carried at all times by four lesser Vodyanoi (frog-humanoids), the Bolotnik do all their magical attacks, which involve water, mud and quicksand, from their throne, using their magical muddy staff.

Reborn Form:

After you do enough damage, the poor four Vodyanoi slaves of the Bolotnik will perish and the mobile-throne will fall apart, so now the Bolotnik has to fight without it. It can still use magical attacks but also adds physical attacks to its list.

WENDIGO / WINDIGO

First Form:

The first form of the Wendigo has it hovering in the air, wearing the skull of a stag and mostly bestowing terrible magical curses of hunger and cannibalism on its victims/enemies and allies as well, which become more dangerous during the battle as they become more hungry for your flesh, it doesn’t attack physically at all during this stage.

Reborn Form:

After you do enough damage to the Wendigo its skull-mask breaks off and its true form becomes visible, the Wendigo falls from the sky and turns into a raging, hungry ghoul-like horror, instead of influencing others to become hungry it becomes gluttony incarnate itself, attacking with powerful claws and horrid overgrown teeth. You see, you can please both fans of the Wendigo at the same time! In my version it still wears the skull of a deer, but turns into a more accurate-to-the-real-myth version in its second form.

SLUAGH / WRAITH STORM

First Form:

Like a living swarm of spirits/wraiths, hovering together in an enormous tornado of souls and evil.

Reborn Form:

After you defeat the Sluagh, it turns into three ordinary Wraiths, the last three wraiths that survive, much like a spirit-version of the Gashadokuro turning into Spartoi Skeletons.

DRAUGR

First Form:

Draugr, in my project, look like veteran zombie warriors, arrows sticking from their bodies and into their eyes, daggers and swords are stuck in their undead flesh and it doesn’t seem to bother them at all, they only make great use of all these weapons and arrows inside them in their attacks and abilities.

Reborn Form:

The Draugr doesn’t change form at all, it just has the annoying ability to not stay dead for long, it has a 50% chance of resurrecting itself during the battle, and this can go on FOREVER if luck is on the Draugrs side, of course there is the option to just escape from battles.

@rtwork of Succarath and Heikegani = Paizo/Pathfinder

#Mythology #Folklore #Monsters #Fantasy

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possiblyawesometmblr · 4 years ago

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Unus Annus: A Complete Ranked List

well, now that every single video has been released, i’ve compiled them all into a complete ranked list, from best video to worst! this took way longer than it had any right to. (also, please note this is just my opinion, and in all honesty, this list was really hard because so many of these videos are fantastic. you could tell me that you’d rearrange anything in the 50-250 range and i’d probably agree with you.)

And if you don’t feel like going through the whole list, here’s Unus Annus ranked by month!

If the video is in: Top 50: 5 points 51 - 100: 4 points 101 - 150: 3 points 151 - 200: 2 points 201 - 250: 1 point 251 - 300: 0 points 300 or below: -1 point (Any ties settled by which month had the highest ranking video overall.)

November: 93 October: 72 December:70 September: 66 February: 66 August: 63 June: 60 January: 59 July: 53 May: 43 March: 37 April: 1

The Truth of Unus Annus (Oct. 31st)

Ethan Finally Becomes a MAN (Jan. 10th)

Phasmophobia in Real Life (Oct. 25th)

Mark and Ethan Attempt an Escape Room (Dec. 6th)

Hunting HeeHoo (Aug. 29th)

DIY Geriatric Simulator (Jan. 18th)

Recreating Every Single Unus Annus Video (Nov. 4th)

Mark Teaches Ethan to Read with Hooked On Phonics (Jun 6th)

Ethan Gives Mark a Viking Funeral (Dec. 9th)

Cooking with Sex Toys (Nov. 15th)

Mark Reviews the Impossible Burger But There’s a Looming Sense of Impending Doom (Dec. 13th)

Helium Therapy (Nov. 29th)

2 Truths and 1 Lie -- Waxing Edition (Nov. 26th)

Ethan Will Be Kicked in the Balls (Nov. 22nd)

Being Brutally Honest With Each Other (Nov. 3rd)

Would Chica Save Us From Drowning? (Jul. 24th)

Mark and Ethan are Now Fathers (Mar. 22)

Ethan Kidnapped Mark (Oct. 30th)

Mark’s Outdoor Escape Room (Aug. 28th)

The Unus Annus Last Supper (Nov. 2nd)

Mark and Ethan Go Casket Shopping (Jan. 11th)

The Sensory Overload Tank (Jan. 7th)

Mark and Ethan Summon a Ghost (Nov. 25th)

Mark Knows What Ethan Did… (Sep. 22nd)

Pee Sauna (Jun 17th)

We Made Nude Paintings of Each Other (Dec. 14th)

All of Our Video Ideas that Never Happened (Nov. 5th)

Mark Teaches Ethan How to March in a Marching Band (Sep. 4th)

Hiding Our Sins From Amy’s Holy Peepers (Jan. 2nd)

Our Perfect (and last) Valentine’s Day (Feb. 14th)

The Barrel - Official Music Video (Mar. 9th)

Edward Pumpkin Hands (Oct. 26th)

This Video Is Completely Unedited (Oct. 17th)

Ethan Teaches Mark How to Swim (Jun. 28th)

The Unus Annus Annual Sleepover (Nov. 12th)

Everything’s Legal if You’re Dead (Nov. 10th)

Harnessing Our Dogs’ Unlimited Energy (Dec. 23rd)

2 Grown Men Attempt the Presidential Fitness Test (Dec. 31st)

Learning to Breathe Underwater (Jan. 13th)

Playing Children’s Games in Total Darkness (Aug. 17th)

The Unus Annus Annual Costume Contest (Oct. 28th)

Saying Goodbye to All Our Guests (Nov. 9th)

We Got Pepper Sprayed (Mar. 10th)

The Cryptid Olympics (Oct. 24th)

Mark and Ethan Get Into a Fight (Mar. 8th)

Mark Punishes Ethan (Jan. 27th)

Ethan Watches as Mark Achieves the Impossible (Sep. 29th)

Drunk College Party Simulator (Feb. 15th)

God’s Fitness Test (Nov. 8th)

3 Big Boys Attempt the King’s Royal Fitness Test (Feb. 18th)

The Beginning of the End (Jul. 26th)

Mark Cooks Blindfolded While Ethan Guides Him Through FaceTime (May 22nd)

Pitching a Tent in the Woods But There’s a Bear 15 Feet Away (Aug. 22nd)

We Forced James Charles to Run a Military Obstacle Course (Mar. 23rd)

We Tried a Labor Pain Simulator (Mar. 20th)

The Bad Kind of Cupping (Nov. 20th)

Ethan Destroys Mark’s Van with a Bat (Dec. 7th)

Duct Tape Crucifixion (Amy, Please Don’t Watch This Video) (Dec. 29th)

A Bear Attacked Us in the Middle of the Night (Aug. 24th)

Mark and Ethan Look at a Puppy for 10 Minutes (Jul 7th)

Building the World’s First IKEA Boat (Jun 27th)

Goat Yoga (Feb. 22nd)

10 Strange Amazon Products Ethan Bought Mark Because He Doesn’t Know How To Spend Money Responsibly (Feb. 16th)

Top 10 Worst Things Your Friend Could Possibly Spend Their Money On (Feb 29th)

Fixing Mark’s Hole with Ramen But Every Time We Add Glue We Get 5% Closer to God (Jan. 14th)

Being Attacked By a Fully Trained Bodyguard Dog (Feb. 19th)

Preserving Ourselves in Wax (Dec. 26th)

Santa’s Mukbang (Drinking 1 Gallon of Eggnog) (Dec. 24th)

The Unus Annus Space Program (Jul 11th)

Ethan Explores Mark’s Haunted Basement (Dec. 17th)

Dummy THICC for Dummies | A Tale of Two Butts | Pushing Our Butts Even Further Beyond (Jul. 4th)

DIY Bungee Jump (please don’t try this) (Jan. 4th)

Unregulated Axe Throwing (Feb. 7th)

Making the Ultimate Unus Annus Burger (Sep. 15th)

How to Rescue a Cat from a Tree (Aug. 23rd)

Beer Sauna: Turning a Portable Sauna Into a Portable Hell (Mar. 16th)

The End of Unus Annus Is Almost Here… (May 15th)

We Accidentally Made an SCP While Amy Was Away (Sep. 13th)

We Play The Newlywed Game While Consuming That Which Will Kill the Other (May 23rd)

Building IKEA’s Hardest Piece of Furniture Without Instructions (Jun 18th)

Recharging Our Phones Using Only Brute Strength (Jul. 30th)

Eating Only Onions for 24 Hours: How Many Onions Does It Take to Kill a Man? (May 8th)

The Candy Bra Challenge (Jul 6th)

We Bought Every Grinch Costume on Ebay (Oct. 13th)

Only UNUS-es/ANNUS-es May Watch This Video (May 28th)

Only Watch From 2:25-6:11 --- DO NOT WATCH ANY OTHER PART OF THIS VIDEO (May 29th)

We Force Mark to Swim in the Ocean (HIS GREATEST FEAR) (Oct. 22nd)

Recreating The Miracle of Childbirth (Mar. 21st)

Making Our Own Sensory Deprivation Tank (Nov. 18th)

Turning Mark into an E-Boy (Feb. 2nd)

The First Annual Unus Annus Roast (Nov. 7th)

Reacting to Your Hilarious Green Screen Memes (Jun 5th)

The Ultimate Trolley Problem (Feb. 21st)

We Looked at Unus Annus Memes (Apr. 30th)

Exploring the Unus Annus Subreddit for Your Delicious Memes (May 16th)

BLACK LIVES MATTER: Resources and How You Can Help In The Description (Jun 2nd)

The Chubby Gummy Challenge (Dec. 4th)

Who Can Teach Their Dog a Trick the Fastest? (Mar. 5th)

Taped and Afraid (Dec. 20th)

We Played Strip Poker (May 20th)

Consuming the World’s Hottest Chip (Sep. 30th)

Mark and Ethan Learn About the Human Body (Jan. 26th)

1 Man 100 Accents (Dec. 1st)

Mark Steals Ethan’s Face (Jan. 15th)

Chickens Teach Us About Life and Death (Feb. 17th)

We Lubed Our Floor for a Sliding Competition (Aug. 3rd)

Mark Conquers His Fear of Night Swimming (Oct. 11th)

The Ultimate Paper Airplane Showdown (Jun 20th)

We Pierced Each Other’s Ears (Sep. 11th)

Crushing Watermelons Betwixt Our Mighty Thighs (Jun 3rd)

7 Minutes in Heaven | 7 Minutes in Hell (Nov. 11th)

Two Men in a Trench Coat Teach You How to Save Money at the Movies (Jun 26th)

Having an Adventure in VRChat Because We Can’t Go Outside (Mar. 27th)

Preparing a 5-Star Meal for Our YouTube Famous Dogs (Jul. 16th)

Mark and Ethan Shave Chica (Aug. 8th)

The Wubble (Aug. 7th)

How to Start a Fire (except don’t…) (Aug. 27th)

Unus Annus (Nov. 15th)

This Is Goodbye (Aug. 5th)

Puberty Simulator (Aug. 13th)

This Video Went Completely Out of Control (Oct. 1st)

This Video Will Never Make Sense (Sep. 23rd)

Blowing Our Souls into Some Hot Glass (Feb. 28th)

We Attempted to Create THICC Water (May 10th)

Brick Soccer (Sep. 19th)

Accepting the Truth (Nov. 1st)

Drinking Real THICC Water...How Bad Does It Taste? (May 19th)

How Far Can We Chuck a 16lbs Rock? (Sep. 10th)

Recreating Ourselves as a Cursed Mannequin (Jan. 8th)

Recreating Childhood Photos (Jun 13th)

Nutball: The Most Dangerous Game (Feb. 10th)

Mark Teaches Ethan How to Play the Trumpet (Aug. 1st)

How to Safely Bury Your Friend (Aug. 25th)

Mark Breaks His Nose on an Aerial Hoop (Oct. 4th)

DIY Bed of Nails: OH GOD, PLEASE DON’T EVER TRY THIS (Jul. 20th)

Pee Soda (Sep. 17th)

We Had to Drink Each Other’s Pee (Dec. 16th)

Creating Mark FISHbach (Jun 21st)

Making Our Own Gravestones to Prepare for Our Inevitable Demise (May 11th)

We Made Fanart for Each Other (Jun 11th)

Bear Trapping 101: An Elegant Knot for an Elegant Beast (Jun 25th)

Pressure Washing Our Sins Away (Oct. 21st)

Literally Finding a Needle in a Haystack (Oct. 8th)

We Ate Dog Treats so You Don’t Have To (Sept. 12th)

Giving Away Our 1,000,000 Subscriber Gold Play Button (Dec. 18th)

2 Idiots Get Crushed By 18-Ft Giant Snakes (Mar. 15th)

We Cryogenically Freeze Ourselves (Jan. 20th)

DO NOT OPEN UNTIL 2080 (May 27th)

Fighting Fish to the Death in the Deep Blue Sea (Oct. 23rd)

DIY Teeth (Jul. 17th)

We Attempt to Make UNHOLY Water (Sep. 24th)

We Attempt to Make Holy Water (Sep. 20th)

DIY Cheese (Jan. 29th)

Making an Indoor Tornado to Flex on Mother Nature (Feb. 9th)

Literally Eating Fire (Feb. 6th)

2 Absolute Beginners Experience the Dancing Glory that is Salsa (Jan. 17th)

Team Building for 2: Trust Fall, Tug-of-War, and More! (Aug. 26th)

The Great Ice Cream Cake Race (Sep. 27th)

The Unus Annus Confessional Booth (May 26th)

Blood Bath (Oct. 27th)

2 Dirty Boys Wash Their Filthy Mouths Out With Soap (Jun. 30th)

Who Can Make Themselves Taller? (Jan. 6th)

Mark and Ethan Share a Drink (Aug. 6th)

2 Adults Take a 4th Grade Math Test (Sep. 6th)

Bobbing for Literally Anything But Apples (Oct. 16th)

Momiplier Teaches Self Defense (Aug. 15th)

The Human Mop (Jul. 21st)

We Attempt Pottery Without Amy’s Help (Sep. 8th)

Becoming One With the Horse (Jun 19th)

Wikifeet: A Tale of Two Tootsies (Apr. 4th)

We Found Websites That the World Forgot About (Apr. 11th)

1 Gallon of Jello Nearly Broke Us (Aug. 20th)

We Finally Drank Our DIY Wine (Sep. 5th)

We Do It Better Than Icarus Ever Could (Jul. 25th)

We Turned Our Bodies Into Art (Jan. 25th)

You Blink, You Lose (Dec. 30th)

Can You Bake a Cookie from Cookie Dough Ice Cream? (Jul. 13th)

Mark Turns Ethan into a Mummy to Prepare Him for the Great Beyond (Dec. 3rd)

Ethan Turns Mark Into a Werewolf (Oct. 29th)

Making Soda with Literally Anything But Soda (Sep. 16th)

Dunking Oreos in Literally Anything But Milk (Jul. 15th)

Making Snow Cones With Literally Anything But Normal Flavors (Sep. 7th)

How Many Slaps Does it Take to Cook a Chicken? (Sep. 2nd)

Play Doh Thanksgiving (Nov. 28th)

Hot Dog’d to Death (Nov. 17th)

Mark and Ethan Build a Scarecrow (Oct. 20th)

Transforming Mark into the Eighth Wonder of the World (Aug. 16th)

Unus Annus Try Pole Dancing (Jul 8th)

Mark Teaches Ethan to Wrestle (Sep. 28th)

Ethan Teaches Mark Gymnastics (Sep. 26th)

Who’s Cutting Onions in Here? (Nov. 6th)

How to Escape from a Hostage Situation (Jul. 18th)

Are We Already Dead? (Feb. 13th)

Bored? Press This Button (Apr. 27th)

Judging Your Terrible Unus Annus Ideas (Aug. 10th)

This is for FUN and NOT a Fetish (Oct. 10th)

This is What Being Tased Feels Like (Jan. 21st)

Learning the Ancient Art of Chinese Archery (Feb. 20th)

Tearing a Phone Book in Half With Our Huge Manly Hands (May 31st)

Beating Inanimate Objects to Death (Dec. 27th)

Edible Slime was a Mistake. (Feb. 23rd)

We Eat Bugs (Jan. 3rd)

Amy Sent Us a Mystery Box (Sep. 21st)

Hydro Dipping a Baby (Aug. 11th)

The Egg Smashing Game (Jul. 12th)

BEYBLADE NUTBALL (Sep. 14th)

Discussing the Idea of Murdering Each Other But It’s Just a Joke and Definitely Not Serious Haha (Feb. 12th)

Mark is Guilty. Ethan Has the Proof. (Jul 1st)

Learning How to Lockpick (FBI Please Don’t Watch) (Jun 22nd)

Mark Needs to Rub Ethan and Only His Mom Can Help Him (Mar. 14th)

Learning to Use the Force (Sep. 18th)

The Secret Unus Annus No-Touchy-Touchy Hand Shake (Apr. 25th)

We Google Each Other to Find Our Darkest Forgotten Sins (Apr. 6th)

Shooting Archery ON A HORSE (Oct. 6th)

Ethan Redefines Male Beauty (Feb. 3rd)

Ethan Roasts Mark for 15 Minutes Straight (Jun 7th)

Playing Cards: The World’s Deadliest Weapon (Aug. 2nd)

Morphing Our Bodies Into Superhero Poses (Jun 4th)

Becoming a Master of Mime (Feb. 11th)

This is the Most Dangerous Children’s Toy Ever Made (Jul. 23rd)

A Serious Conversation Under the Stars (Jul. 29th)

Is Mark a Masochist? (May 1st)

Literally Laying On Literal Broken Glass (Feb. 8th)

Bad, Bad Beans (Jan. 23rd)

DIY Wine (May 30th)

2 Men 200 Accents (Apr. 18th)

DIY Boob (May 24th)

Mark and Ethan Go On a Drum Date (Feb. 27th)

10 Miracle Products to Give YOU the Thiccest Jaw On Planet Earth (Jun. 29th)

Ultimate Horseshoes (Jul. 28th)

Mark and Ethan Get a Full Body Scan to See What Secrets Lay Hidden Within (and learn their body fat) (Mar. 13th)

Acupuncture is NOT Painful (Dec. 11th)

What the Hell is a Pink Trombone? (May 2nd)

Donating Toys to Charity w/ Jacksepticeye (Dec. 22nd)

Poopsie Sparkly Critters (a slime surprise…) (Nov. 27th)

The Great Meat Mistake (Dec. 10th)

DIY Minesweeper (Oct. 7th)

Popping Popcorn with a High Powered Laser (Aug. 12th)

Bobbing for Apples but the Water Keeps Getting Thiccer (Oct. 3rd)

We Buy a Professional Hypnosis Video and React to It (Dec. 5th)

Long Hair, Do We Dare? (Feb. 25th)

Recreating Mark’s Childhood (Jul. 2nd)

Professional Fire Cupping (Going Even Further Beyond) (Feb. 4th)

An Extremely Sour, Not-at-All Sour Meal (Feb. 5th)

Purging Our Sins with a Neti Pot (Nov. 16th)

Attempting to Build IKEA Furniture Without Instructions (Jun 9th)

The Annual Unus Annus Dunk Contest (Jul. 27th)

Our Fans Try to Scare Us With Their Homemade Creepypasta (Jun 12th)

There’s Something Horribly Wrong With This Picture… (June 8th)

Too Many Pickles (Aug. 21st)

5 Products to Grow Your Patchy Beard (Jul. 31st)

What is the Least Viewed Video on YouTube? (Apr. 10th)

Baby Hands Operation (Nov. 24th)

Mark Builds a Pillow Fort for the Very First Time (Apr. 2nd)

Are Reptilian Humanoids Living Among Us? (May 6th)

Mark and Ethan Bet Everything on a Wikipedia Race (Apr. 15th)

We Will Churn Thy Butter (Sep. 25th)

We Take a Lie Detector Test to Uncover Our Darkest Sins (Jan. 12th)

Drawing on Each Other’s Backs in Total Darkness (Oct. 9th)

Drawing Memes from Memory (Nov. 30th)

We Made Every YouTuber Battle in the Hunger Games (Apr. 5th)

Ultimate YouTuber Boxing Showdown (Mar. 30th)

Tasting Weird Food Combos: Pickles and Chocolate? Ice Cream and Soy Sauce? (Jul 10th)

How to NOT be the Perfect Boyfriend (Apr. 13th)

Help Us Break a YouTube World Record (Apr. 17th)

Momiplier Tells Us True Scary Stories from Korea (Oct. 18th)

DO NOT TRY THIS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES (Aug. 9th)

The Most Dangerous Shave (Jun 23rd)

We Took the Polar Plunge (Jan. 1st)

2 Complete Amateurs Enter a Body Building Competition (Jun 1st)

Does This Magnetic Skincare Routine Really Work? (Jul. 19th)

Mark and Ethan Milk a Goat (Oct. 5th)

Pumpkin Spice “Challenge” (Oct. 19th)

Doing Each Other’s Makeup in the Dark (Nov. 23rd)

We’re Better Than Dogs (Aug. 18th)

We Have the Best Bellies on YouTube (May 25th)

The Good Kind of Cupping (Nov. 19th)

Hacking the Very Fabric of the Universe (Jan. 30th)

Where in the World is Unus Annus? (Apr. 1st)

Mark and Ethan Become United States Citizens (Jun 10th)

Mark and Ethan Desperately Attempt to Feel Something (May 4th)

We Took an IQ Test (Jan. 9th)

Mark Teaches Ethan Korean (May 13th)

Lost Omegle Video (Mar. 31st)

Finding the Most Cursed Image on the Internet (Jun 15th)

Amazon Shopping for the Apocalypse (Mar. 28th)

Desperately Trying Not to Touch Our Faces (Mar. 24th)

Going on an Internet Scavenger Hunt (Mar. 26th)

Reading YOUR Scariest True Stories (Apr. 21st)

The Scariest True Stories on the Internet (Apr. 12th)

REAL Ghost Hunting At An Abandoned Zoo (March 2nd)

Bleachus Annus (Jul. 14th)

Pumpkin Taste Tier List (Oct. 14th)

Floating in a Real Sensory Deprivation Tank (Dec. 12th)

Was 2020 a Bad Year for Unus Annus? (Aug. 30th)

Speed Reading 1000+ WPM to Gain a Complete Understanding of All Human Knowledge (Apr. 9th)

We Give Each Other Tattoos Blindfolded (Mar. 11th)

Mark’s 1 Weird Talent Leaves Ethan Absolutely Speechless (Apr. 3rd)

Learning to Jump Higher in 16 Minutes and 16 Seconds (Oct. 15th)

You Breathe You Die (Jan.16th)

Breaking Glasses With Our Screams (Aug. 4th)

The 1000 High-Five Challenge (Oct. 2nd)

Becoming the World’s Greatest DJs (Mar. 4th)

Grip Strength Test: Loser Becomes the Winner’s Butler for a Day (Aug. 14th)

Forcibly Turning Mark into Santa Claus Against His Will (Dec. 25th)

We Smell Every Smell (Sep. 1st)

We Wrote a Hit Pop Song in 30 Minutes (Feb. 26th)

Unus Annus Carves the Roast Beast (Mar. 18th)

The Painful World of Aerial Skills (Oct. 12th)

The Koala Challenge: TikTok’s Intimate Couples Trend (Aug. 19th)

Ethan Traps Mark’s Soul in the Palm of His Hand (Jun 24th)

Will We Break the Boards...Or Will They Break Us? (Jun 14th)

DIY Chiropractor (Mar. 7th)

Mark Gives Ethan a HOT (stone) Massage (Aug. 31st)

We Bought a Camera That Can Look Inside Us (Mar. 3rd)

Can Plants Feel Pain? (Sep. 9th)

This is Hiding on Your Body RIGHT NOW. (Jul 9th)

Strange (and legal) Things You Can Do With Your Body After Death (Jan. 28th)

Like It Or Not...This is What The New Human Looks Like (May 7th)

Looking at Long Lost Memes (Jan. 31st)

We Played Mad Libs and Ran It Through Google Translate (Apr. 7th)

Running Internet Drama Through Google Translate (Apr. 24th)

Mark and Ethan Desperately Try to Name a Single State in the USA (Apr. 8th)

Professional Fetish Scientists Rank the Best/Worst Fetishes of 2020 (May 3rd)

Reddit 50/50: Two Player Edition (Mar. 25th)

Mark and Ethan Find the Lost City of El Dorado (Apr. 14th)

Using Google Maps to Find the Lost City of Atlantis (Apr. 20th)

We Hired a Real Hypnotherapist to Analyze Our Darkest Dreams (Jan. 24th)

2 Boys 2 Poops (Sep. 3rd)

This is How We’ll Die... (Jan. 19th)

Nutball Extreme: Taser Edition (Mar. 1st)

You Made Beautiful Music for The Barrel...But Only One Could Win (Dec. 15th)

Can Sound Therapy Heal All Wounds? (Jul. 22nd)

Middle School Science Experiment Teaches Us About Life and Death (Mar. 6th)

Reverse Engineering a Kite to Steal the Idea of Electricity from Benjamin Franklin (Jul 5th)

Ethan’s Relaxing and Totally Normal Nail Salon (Dec. 19th)

Mark and Ethan Take a Personality Test (Apr. 22nd)

An AI Generates Our Worst Nightmare (May 5th)

Learning to Cry on Command to Increase Our YouTube Views (Jun 16th)

How Big Can a Nuke Get? (May 17th)

Granting Access Into Heaven’s Sweet Gates (Feb. 24th)

We Put an Apple Watch in a Rock Tumbler (Jul. 3rd)

Whom Would Eat Whomst First in a Zombie Apocalypse? (Mar. 29th)

Bigfoot is Real and It Ate My Friend (May 14th)

What is the Most Painful Thing We’ve Ever Endured? (Dec. 21st)

Don’t Go In The Ocean....Ever. (Apr. 28th)

An AI Predicts How We’re Going to Die (Dec. 2nd)

Harnessing Our Yodeling Power to End The World As We Know It (May 21st)

The Creepiest Videos on YouTube (Apr. 16th)

What Does Astrology Say About Our Friendship? (Mar. 12th)

Discovering the Secret to Eternal Life (Feb. 1st)

What Happens When a YouTube Channel Dies? (Jan. 22nd)

5 Weird Apps That Predicted Our Death (Mar. 19th)

Emotional Pain vs. Physical Pain...Which is Worse? (Dec. 28th)

How Tall Can a Human Get?: An Impartial Review By 2 Average Height Men (May 12th)

Will AI Soon Take Over Humanity As We Know It? (Apr. 23rd)

Mark and Ethan Hunt the World’s Most Wanted Criminals (Mar. 17th)

The Illuminati...Do They Really Exist? (Apr. 19th)

We Explore the Most MYSTERIOUS Mysteries of Our Wildly Mysterious Mystery Moon of Mystery (Apr. 29th)

Two Male Men Judge Female Women On Their Beauty (Apr. 26th)

We Have the BEST Thumbnails on YouTube and No One Can Tell Us Otherwise (Jan. 5th)

How Much Caffeine Does It Take to Kill a Man? (May 18th)

There’s Still Hope… (Dec. 8th)

Unus Annus ASMR (May 9th)

The Worst Kind of Cupping (Nov. 21st)

#unus annus #unus annus ranked #the og list took me three days to compile please appreciate this #markiplier #crankgameplays #unus #annus

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signor-signor · 4 years ago

Text

S3 Character Appearance Probability

Taking into account the details about the long-shelved third and final season of Wander Over Yonder, including the hints brought up by @suspendersofdisbelief, I have prepared a list of characters and their likelihood of appearing in that third season. While it’s likely that characters who appeared in The End of the Galaxy will reappear in the S3 premiere, most numbers are less than 10 because the probability of certain characters appearing in S3 is unclear.

As we already know...

Wander - 10/10

Sylvia - 10/10

Lord Hater - 10/10

Commander Peepers - 10/10

Lord Dominator (as she appeared at the end of The End of the Galaxy) - 10/10

Emperor Awesome (and his Fist Fighters) - 10/10

3 new unnamed main characters - 10/10

Watchdogs:

Andy - 10/10

Barry - 10/10

Bob - 5.5/10

Chef - 4/10

Drill Sergeant - 4/10

Giuseppe - 4/10

Jerry - 7/10

Moose - 4/10

Pete - 5.5/10

Scientist - 6/10

Ted - 5.5/10

Teddy - 5.5/10

Tim - 5.5/10

Pretty much every other notable Watchdog has a mid-to-high likelihood of appearing in S3.

Oh, and Westley - 4/10

Now for the others (I’ll think up names for unnamed characters one day)...

King Bingleborp and the Binglebops - 9/10

Mother and Child from The Egg - 3/10

Doom dragon(s) - 2/10

Celestial Star Being - 2/10

Characters from The Fugitives (including Rock Lady, Balloon Man, and red and blue ants) - 5/10

Captain Tim - 9/10

Characters from The Good Deed (including rabbit, hufflerumples, Fleeblebort, Marsha, hillbillies, birds, Gracknore, hogs, fortune teller) - 5/10

Badlands Dan and his gang - 7/10

Two-headed bartender - 3/10

Oink and the Motorhogs - 6/10

Papa Doom and the gargoyles - 5/10

Prince Cashmere and the Baa-hallans - 9/10

The Troll - 3/10

Lords of Illumination - 5/10

Giant worm from The Hat - 2/10

Rongruffle - 4/10

Killbot 86 - 4/10

The Potted Plant - 4/10

Beeza and the Ballzerians - 9/10

Buster (Surely S3 might have an episode explaining what happened to him.) - 9/10

Brad Starlight - 5/10

King Dracor and his guards - 10/10

Princess/Queen Demurra - 10/10

D&D's Children (Seriously, what are their names and who was supposed to perform them?) - 10/10

Pit monster from The Birthday Boy - 4/10

Blarpee's Cashier - 8/10

Olive and mother - 4/10

Harvax and Stok - 6/10

Sourdough/Evil Sandwhich and servants - 10/10

Kragthar - 9.5/10

Black Cube - 10/10

Kremlons - 3/10

Princess Cellophania (That’s the name of that invisible lady.) - 2/10

Trudi Traveler and clones - 5/10

Ziziks waiter - 3/10

Planet Janet and Maurice - 3/10

King of Flendar and the Flendarians - 9/10

Bobbles - 6/10

Emperor Awesome’s mother - 3/10

Huckleberry Knucklehead and his parents - 6/10

Lost and Found Guy - 6/10

Princess Galactia - 3/10

Dragor the Destructible - 3/10

Princess Veronicron - 3/10

Jim the Neon Knight of Nalpraxis - 4/10

Any other characters/creatures from The Epic Quest... - 2/10

Intergalactic Guru - 5/10

Destructor - 8.5/10

Destructor's father - 4/10

Destructor's people - 6/10

Thrax and his cohorts - 6/10

Tiki-like beings - 4/10

Electric bird mother and three chicks - 4/10

Little Bits - 9.5/10

Insurgent Generals (General Outrage, Brainz, Wild Card, Clipper) - 7/10

Locksmith - 4/10

Plumber - 4/10

Okeydokian restaurant manager - 7/10

Michelle - 7/10

Okeydokian movie director 1 - 5/10

Okeydokian movie director 2 - 5/10

Other Okeydokians - 4/10

Cluckons - 8/10

Mooplexians - 5/10

Mr. and Mrs. Brittle - 4/10

Ryder - 6/10

Weasel - 5/10

Scuzzbuckets - 4/10

Frederick - 6/10

Dr. Scrivellix - 5/10

Gelatinous Bob, Joey Protozoa, and drummer - 4/10

MOGA Curator - 5/10

Dr. Screwball Jones - 9.5/10

Squills (squirrel-like critters) from The Wanders - 2/10

Alien Queen from The Axe - 6/10

Stella Starbella (We’ve got to find a replacement for June Squibb in case she becomes senile... or worse.) - 8/10

Mittens - 10/10

King of Sherblorg 7 - 8/10

Mandrake the Malfeasant (and his ‘robuts’) - 9.5/10

General McGuffin (still in chicken bucket form) and his wingmen - 9.5/10

Something the So-and-So - 9/10

Some other minor villains - 2/10

Flankarians - 5/10

Zetuons - 5/10

Major Threat/Jeff - 10/10

Schmartians - 9.5/10

Stacy and her new boyfriend - 5/10

Landlord and fast food boss - 4/10

Teen Leader, Weasly Teen, Obvious Teen - 6/10

Tracy (The Black Cube’s new girlfriend) - 8/10

Hooded Refugees from The Secret Planet - 9.5/10

Clancy and Nancy Shmancy - 6/10

Camera family tourists - 6/10

Cloaked refugees - 4/10

Hat Shop Owner - 5/10

Bunny-like beings from The Show Stopper - 4/10

Bot 13/Beep Boop (in picture strip form) - 6/10

Bill, Phil, and Gil - 6/10

Dorothy - 6/10

Gram - 6/10

Sylvia’s father (in a flashback) - 8/10

Melodie, Angela, David, Jamie and Hank - 4/10

Buttler, Gluteus/Todd, and High Gnee Council - 4/10

Major Threat’s right-hand squid-man and minions - 3/10

Admiral Admirable - 5/10

Orbble and Wilmur Wright - 6/10

Chad - 5/10

Princess Remora (alongside Brad Starlight) - 5/10

Slug Boss, Nephew, Grandsons, and Mummy Thugs - 5/10

Ripov - 10/10

Arachnomorph Queen - 2/10

Frankenstein Monster - 1/10

Phantomimes - 1/10

Ms. Myrtle the Eternal Turtle - 7/10

Neckbeard - 10/10

Bitties - 1/10

Robomechabotasquad (from the end tag) - 2/10

Giant Bee - 1/10

Space Ape (Whom I think Wander might call “Hubert.”) - 10/10

2 new unnamed regulars - 10/10

In the case of new minor characters, I’m thinking the following might appear: a karate sensei, a therapist, a madcap sidekick, a ranger, a sentient vehicle, a rapper, a pop idol... that’s all I’ve got for now.

If you have any other thoughts and predictions about who is likely to appear in S3, feel free to share them!

#Wander Over Yonder #SaveWOY #Save Wander Over Yonder #WOY Season 3 #Predictions

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gabriel4sam · 4 years ago

Text

The weeping stone, a little crossover, the Mummy x Star Wars

Beta-ed by @wrennette, a little fic The Mummy x Star Wars.

Under the cut; the fic:

Our story started a long, long time ago and in a galaxy far away and never really ended. There was just a pause. A long pause. Eons passed.

And then it started again, just like that:

Two men, alone and desperately human, fighting against abominations from the dawn of civilisation. Monsters with a taste for human flesh. One favoured his left side. They made their last stand at the forgotten temple of a forgotten goddess, erased from human memory with great care by Ptolemy III Euergetes, his mages and what would become the Medjai, more than two centuries before the modern era. A forgotten goddess now trying to make a comeback heralded in blood, famine, and other happy events.

Those men should have never left the scene, or only in very, very, very tiny bits.

Sadly for the beasts, that sort of situation had become terrifyingly normal for Jonathan and Ardeth.

Not everybody can have exotic dancers as a bad habit, like most of Jonathan’s Oxford friends.

With a yell like a woodsman putting the last axe wound in a giant tree, Ardeth cut in two the latest giant crocodile with two heads. The left head, apparently not the quickest to apprehend new circumstances, continued to flail a moment. Ardeth watched it carefully, with an air clearly meaning: Try it, if you dare.

Since no one glared like Ardeth, the left head wisely died, instead of incurring his wrath again.

“These things definitely don't conform to the traditional representation,” Jonathan remarked, with the blasé attitude of a man who had become sadly used to giant animals with too many heads, resurrected priests and other fun ways to pass the time in the charming country of Egypt. If he didn’t go bankrupt every time he put a foot on the soil of the Mother country, he would have refused to leave England. There, dead things stayed dead and even if Arthur had risen, Jonathan was sure the lad would have been much more amiable than Imhotep.

Perhaps it was a question of the soil temperature…. Would dead English sovereigns rise if transplanted in Egypt? Or Scottish ones? The Scottish ones seemed more fun.

“Carnahan, stop dreaming and come help,” Ardeth ordered and Jonathan thought of protesting. Harvesting hearts of two-headed magical creatures was gory and smelly. Even if it was to stop a giant wave of drought which would devastate Egypt and probably cause a lot of deaths. But Jonathan had seen enough death during the Great War; deaths he could never forget, no matter what new horrors Evy and her brand new husband Rick, and Ardeth, half friend half pain in the ass in Jonathan’s opinion, discovered every day.

“Life was so much simpler without the supernatural,” Jonathan grumbled, but it was weak and he went to help. The sooner they had the hearts, the quicker they could leave, and supposing Evy and Rick had successfully harvested the brains of their own two-headed monsters, they could stop the drought, leave their third lost temple this year and go back to Jonathan favourite way to pass life: searching for a way to earn money.

Preferably without the dead rising, for once.

They stayed with the Medjai for the night, since it would have been pretty stupid to try returning to the city after dark. The night was beautiful, all stars and an enormous moon and Jonathan was finding himself quite enamoured with life. His sister and her husband disappeared into their tent and he hoped they remembered they were not alone and currently surrounded only by cloth.

The Medjai were extremely pleasant hosts, even Ardeth for all his glaring, and whatever the pastries and strange herbal tea they were distributing were almost making Jonathan not care they didn’t drink alcohol… or that Ardeth took Jonathan’s secret stash at the beginning of their current adventure to prepare a makeshift bomb.

Against a giant Mesopotamian…thing, because evidently the local monsters and undead weren’t enough. Some had apparently been imported too.

Jonathan let himself fall into the nest of covers loaned to him for the night. He was sore, but not too bruised, and the satisfaction of saving people had an edge even a cynic like him couldn’t deny.

“You know, the only thing missing is gallant company. Not that yours isn’t charming, old chap, but nothing beat a scandalously clothed lady. With the bosom, you know,” Jonathan said, gesticulating to illustrate.

Ardeth grunted and didn’t answer.

“But perhaps there is a Mrs. Bey in one of the tents? Or several? Are your people polygamists? Because that’s something I could get behind. Never too much of a good thing, you know, even if I always asked myself how it worked. I mean, some men must go without riches for other to have more? Very capitalistic and –“

“Carnahan, stop babbling. And no, there isn’t a Mrs. Bey, as you say. And if there was, you would be literally the last person in this country I would introduce to her.”

“Rude!”

“Sleep, Jonathan. We leave at dawn and I don’t enjoy having to throw water at you to force you to rise.”

“No need to grumble. Also, you totally enjoy it! And I’m sure you’ll find the perfect Mrs. Bey one day and sweep her off her feet. Very heroically, probably. There will be fireworks, old chap! ”

“Thanks, I suppose. But this isn’t…. My friend, there is-“

A snore interrupted him.

Ardeth turned to the side. Jonathan Carnahan had succumbed to the exhaustion of the day. Ardeth snorted, amused despite himself, and happy his confidences to his grating, but strangely attaching, friend had been stopped just in the nick of time. Some words couldn’t be unsaid. And he liked the Carnahan and O’Connell trio, despite their habit of stumbling exactly where they shouldn’t. He went on his last stroll around the camp, saluting the sentinels, as was his habit before sleep, and didn’t think any more of this conversation. Sadly, the sudden interest of Jonathan about his love life distracted him enough – should he tell him the truth or not, the English could be very strange about that – that he forgot for a moment a bad habit of Jonathan, where he pickpocketed everything shiny like an overgrown Oxford-educated magpie, and didn’t go through his pockets like he ought to after one of their expeditions.

Therefore, Ardeth missed the amulet in Jonathan’s vest, found in the temple of the day. And he missed the crystal, strange, shining, definitely nothing he had seen before, embedded in it.

***************************************

A woman was leaning down over Jonathan. She wore the strangest headdress he had ever seen, with two long tails of bizarre material, blue and white, and it was also crowning her, giving her a royal air, despite the blood running down her face. There was something slightly wrong about her face, like the proportions were slightly different from what they should normally be in a human.

“I’m sorry,” she was saying. “I’m sorry, Master, this is the only way to be sure he doesn’t get you too. Someone will come find you. The Alliance has our coordinates, they will find you.”

An older man stepped up behind her and he was bleeding too, the left part of his face a terrible wound, which had taken one of his eyes. The blood congealed on his beard and he used the wall to stay upright. The still intact eye shined with determination despite the probably terrible pain.

“Ahsoka, there isn’t time left,” he said and something sharp came to mask the despair on the woman’s face.

“I know,” she said. She took something from around her neck and it was the strange crystal in the amulet Jonathan had found. She leaned down and placed it on Jonathan.“Anakin’s crystal,” she said. “May you use it more wisely than him.”

She pushed a metal cover over Jonathan and it seemed so much like the lid of a sarcophagus. Jonathan wanted to yell for help but he was paralyzed. The last thing he saw was the woman turning, two swords of white flame in her hands, then whatever he was lying on went far away. There was an acceleration, like a plane taking off, and Jonathan knew nothing but the cold light of stars.

***************************************

Jonathan woke up shivering, his mouth already open to cry out. Ardeth was on the other side of the campfire, getting it going again for the morning tea.

“First time I've seen you up without help,” Ardeth smiled, but his smile died when he got a better look at the other man’s face.

“Jonathan?”

“Just…just a nightmare.”

Ardeth wisely nodded. Even he, who had been trained all his life to protect humanity from what was laying underneath the sands of Egypt and the neighbouring countries, would sometimes be visited in his dreams by the horrors he was regularly exposed to.

In silence, Ardeth offered his water skin for Jonathan to rinse the bilious taste of nightmares from his mouth.

***************************************

The woman was there again. The one with the strange headdress going down on either side of her head. The headdress was smaller and the tattoos on her face smaller too, like they hadn’t been finished. She was silently watching the cold coffin Jonathan was in, agony on her face.

“Oh Master,” she only said. “If only you were there… Really there. More than ever, I need your help.”

A man entered the room. He had brown skin, brown hair too long for even Cambridge and smart eyes.

“The Ghost is leaving in ten minutes, we can’t afford more.”

“I’m ready, tell Hera I will be on board.” The woman with the headdress said. Jonathan wanted to yell at her to take him with her, that he wanted to help, that it was his responsibility to help, but his mouth was cold and his tongue dead inside it, like a block of ice.

***************************************

“Don’t you think your brother is…you know?” Rick asked one morning and Evelyn’s eyes left the reproduction of a Nekhen tomb painting she was admiring, realized she was about to put marmalade in her tea, took her glasses off and turned to her husband. Rick hadn’t put his shirt on yet, a fact she deeply appreciated.

“There are many answers to that question and some of them are about secrets I swore to take to my tomb when we were teenagers, so I will need you to elaborate, darling.”

“Don’t you think your brother is strange?”

“Did he try to convince you to invest in a bar in Casablanca again?”

“If I was trying to start a business with him, I would be the strange one. No, I mean, don’t you think he’s stranger than usual?”

As one, they turned to the patio of the decrepit house they were renting in Damietta.

It was eight in the morning and Jonathan was up.

That itself was strange.

Not that Jonathan couldn’t, in crisis time, wake early. But when they were still recuperating from their latest adventure, he liked to only get up at what he called “the crack of dawn,” meaning something like thirteen o'clock.

Eight in the morning, and he was awake, seeping tea slowly, and trying the meditation Ardeth had once tried to teach him, before pronouncing him totally inept. That itself was strange. The tears slowly flowing on his cheeks were making it unreal.

Jonathan hadn’t shed a tear since coming back from the trenches of the Great War. What he had lived through there had used up all the tears for one life. After, there was only room for laughter, sometimes slightly hysterical, alcohol, and women of ill repute, with the occasional supernatural menace.

“I think the last mission we accompanied Ardeth on was particularly difficult for him.”

“Nobody died!” Rick protested. “Nobody didn’t even almost died!”

“Dear God, we’re setting the bar quite low those last months….”

Rick turned again to Jonathan. At the beginning of his marriage to Evy, he had seen Jonathan more as an unfortunate consequence of Evelyn, someone to endure, until they had bonded with their experiences from the war. Some things they had shared with each other, they hadn’t even told Evy, the most important person in both their lives.

“I’m taking him for a drink tonight with my old buddies from the Legion,” Rick decided. “Mano a mano.”

“That really doesn’t mean what you think it means,” Evelyn smiled and Rick couldn’t resist that smile, never had, and he swallowed an impromptu Latin lesson with a tender kiss, which lead to other things, and Evelyn quite late in her morning program for the study of the Nekhen tomb paintings.

***************************************************

There was a demon, more frightening than Imhotep himself. It was black, prowling in the shadows around Jonathan. The only thing Jonathan could perceive of it, a noise like lethal gas escaping its canister. The thing, the monster, the nightmare, carried a sword made of blood and at its feet lay the bodies of everyone Jonathan had ever loved.

Lost.

All of them were lost, because Jonathan had not been enough.

The despair should have a taste but Jonathan hadn’t tasted anything in years. There was just the cold, the after taste; spicy, of the last thing he had tasted, long ago, months ago, years ago, centuries ago, before laying down in his tomb, silent, vigilant witness of the end of everything and the rise of darkness.

****************************************************

Rick and Evelyn were waiting for him when he got back from his nightly walk. He had exchanged his usual nightly shenanigans in bars for slow walks across the landscape. By day, the sounds of so many people had become a torture and even at night, it was like Jonathan could feel them pressing around him. Only in the empty surroundings of Damietta could he find peace now, following the stars, which always seemed wrong to him, like they were in an incorrect configuration.

“Evy?” Jonathan asked, surprised, because they were always in bed when he came back.

“This is an intervention,” his sister said.

“Oh come on. I swear to you, I haven’t started using again. I know the effect of Forced Marche on me, I wouldn’t…"

“I know, darling,” Evy said with warmth, taking his hand in a gesture of comfort. “I know you wouldn’t do that to me, or to yourself again. But, you have been…you haven’t been yourself, those last weeks. At first, I confess I thought you were, how do I say it-“

“Hitting the bottle pretty hard,” Rick completed with no tact at all.

“But I remembered when you started to change and I called a specialist.”

There was a movement behind Jonathan and he turned and Ardeth was there, his face harder than Jonathan had seen in a long time. And in his hand, cradled like the simple contact was dangerous, was the amulet with the crystal Jonathan had found weeks ago, abandoned on the red sandstone altar in a temple of a forgotten goddess in Latopolis.

“That’s mine,” Jonathan yelled immediately, his hands raising to seize the jewel, but Rick’s arms were around his shoulders, as hard as steel.

“I failed you, my friend,” Ardeth said gravely.

“Ardeth, that’s mine!” Jonathan said again, already suffocating on tears, “That’s the only thing I have left!”

Another Medjai was there, one Jonathan didn’t know, and a foul-smelling cloth was across Jonathan's mouth, and he struggled, but Rick was stronger, and Ardeth was there too, helping Rick contain his thrashing, and the last thing he heard was Evelyn crying.

Beyond his eyelids, for a second, he would have sworn Evelyn’s silhouette was different, her belly round as the sun, and shining too, shining like a newborn star, but it made no sense and he lost himself to the dark of drugged sleep.

********************************************************

The woman was there again. There was a man with her, blond hair, brown skin, a hand on her shoulder, comforting her as she put her two hands on the lid of Jonathan’s sarcophagus. Behind them, there was a man with darker skin and a dash of yellow across his nose and even if Jonathan had never seen him in his life, he wanted to beg him to take care of her, of her and the first man, the blond one, because if Jonathan himself couldn’t, this man with the yellow markings was almost him, brother, support, friend.

********************************************************

Jonathan woke up in a tent. Someone had tied his ankles together, not tight enough to stop him from walking, but tight enough to stop him from running. Ardeth was there, offering him a cup of tea, and even if Jonathan wanted to throw it to his face, his throat was parched. He accepted it.

“Was it poisoned?” Jonathan asked, voice hard with anger, once he had drunk everything.

“No, it wasn’t, and this is perhaps a question you should ask before accepting a drink.”

“Well, not like I can stop you, as the last hours demonstrated!”

“I understand you’re angry.”

“Well, you’re so brilliant to decipher emotion, if Medjai doesn’t work, perhaps you could become a disciple of Mister Freud.”

“We’re here to help you.”

“You have a strange way to show it,” Jonathan pointed out.

At that moment, the flap of the tent opened. Jonathan’s heart jumped in his chest. It was Evelyn and Rick and the sense of betrayal went higher. Ardeth was a friend, a good one, yes, but still only a friend. Rick and Evy were family. Family wasn’t supposed to betray each other.

Ages old grief rose. Older than Jonathan, older than twice cursed Imothep, older than every temple in Egypt, and he choked on the wave of anguish. The infinite sadness was the only thing in his soul and it went higher, plugging his lungs, crushing his heart. On his cheeks tears started to flow again and he would have died of this pain, it was impossible to survive such sorrow.

Hands found his own. Darker hands with tattoos. Ardeth’s hands, scarred and dependable, hands which had saved Jonathan’s life countless times.

A head was against his. Dark hair, the same as his, and their mother perfume, and the embrace of blood, a link he only had with Evey now, their English family dead and buried, but Evy, Evy was there, his beloved sister, and they had survived so much together, from their parents’ loss to the countless disappointments of life.

Strong arms around his shoulder, his waist and the scent of that awful cologne. Rick. Rick, who made Evy happy, Rick who had seen the trenches too, Rick, the brother their parents didn’t have the time to give him.

Jonathan crashed into his body and into reality with all the grace of a drunk camel trying to run across a dune.

“What’s wrong with me!” He yelled, quite strongly, into poor Rick’s ears.

There was some fussing, a fortifying potion poured by Rick into Jonathan’s tea, despite Ardeth’s opinion that alcohol really wouldn’t help Jonathan, then they congregated around the fire with stew and explanations. Jonathan was famished. It was like he had survived only on tea and slow walks across the Egyptian landscapes for days.

“It was a very long time ago,” Ardeth explained. “During the Thinite Confederacy, before even the First Dynasty. One day a great fire fell from the sky into the desert. The tribes which formed the Confederacy sent an expedition to follow the trail of the fire and they found a great stone at the centre of a dune entirely crystallized, like an intense fire would have done. They brought back the stone to the city. Little by little, the members of the expedition who found it began to have visions. They could predict other tribes attack, they could sometimes know where a venomous snake was waiting in a bush, they knew where to go for good game in the hunts…”

“Seems like a pretty friendly stone,” Rick commented. “Very useful stuff.”

“But their new talents had a price,” Ardeth continued, like Rick hadn’t interrupted him. “The ones with the most talent, the ones who could sometimes heal wounds or ease a birth for example, were the most touched. They wept during feasts, they yelled into the night, they were taken apart by-“

“Sadness,” Jonathan said. “Infinite sadness.”

Ardeth nodded. Evelyn’s hand found her brother’s own hand and pressed on it.

“Most of them took their own life, at the end. A temple was built, coming from a vision one of the men touched by the stone had and the stone placed in the sanctuary. Once a year, young people were send to it to earn its wisdom.”

“That’s…that’s quite cold,” Evely shivered, “They were sacrificed. Fated to kill themselves or go crazy.”

“Yes, they were. Officially, they were designed by the oracles, but of course, most were chosen as a way for the most powerful to strike down their enemies.”

“Charming.”

“Some of them survived. They endured and went to become great souls, leading their people, or taking the places of advisors of the proto-kings. They said Menes, the founder of the first dynasty was one of them, that used what he learned from the stone to unify Egypt. They also said that the stone stopped talking to him because of the bloodshed, and that is why he was killed by a hippopotamus, because he had gotten too close to the beast, confident in a gift which had been taken back. They also said that Menes was the only one ever succeeding in opening the stone, and that he never said what was inside. Simply brought back that strange crystal in the amulet Jonathan stole.”

“Liberated, thank you very much,” Jonathan interrupted.

“All of this is fascinating,” Evelyn admitted. “But if we need the stone to help Jonathan…” Her brother was quite touched. For Evy, Evy! To interrupt Egyptian story time like that….

Ardeth nodded again.

“Yes, we need the stone and, praise Allah, I know where it is. The temple is in Thinis. Some said the weeping stone contributed to the abandonment of the city for Memphis as a capital.”

“Then we have a problem,” Evelyn realized. “Nobody has ever found Thinis.”

“The English haven’t,” Ardeth said with half a smirk and Evelyn made the same noise Rick made when he found a scorpion in their bathroom.

“We had this conversation before,” Rick immediately intervened, before Evelyn lost herself in an archaeological rant. “Ardeth certainly doesn’t have to tell you everything his people know and keep from the scientists.”

He kissed her pout. Knowledge was Evelyn’s grail and she could become a little insensitive to indigenous peoples' reasons for keeping secrets in her quest., Nobody was perfect, neither she or he or Ardeth, and their friendship could endure some friction.

**********************************************************

The woman had come back again. On Jonathan's coffin, she placed a strange helmet, white and half burned…

“Cody,” she said, then a long silence and she added: “He was himself at the end. He called for you.” And, in his coffin, Jonathan’s heart wept, like another wound had been added to his burden.

**********************************************************

Jonathan woke up kneeling, his face close, too close to the dying embers of the campfire. Ardeth hands, steel strong, the only things stopping him from burning himself.

A grief too big to bear pulsed in his heart, something so immense he couldn’t swallow it. He turned to Ardeth and saw in his friend’s eyes compassion and support. He didn’t deserve that man’s friendship. Friends could be taken so quickly, died in a flourish of a blade, Jonathan should….No, no, those thoughts weren’t his. Ardeth was a dear friend, yes, but he was in no danger of any blade.

It was such a freezing thought to realize the inside of his own brain weren’t exactly his own anymore.

“How far away is this city again?” Jonathan asked.

***********************************************************

Later, when Jonathan, pale and with too deep shadow beneath his eyes, had been put to sleep by a few drops of a potion made by one the Medjai specialist, Ardeth, Rick and Evelyn divided the hours of day and night between the three of them.

Jonathan couldn’t be left alone.

They left the camp at dawn, escorted by ten of Ardeth’s men. Jonathan was trying very hard to put his persona on, like a mask, and Rick was keeping him company at the moment, so Evelyn guided her camel next to Ardeth.

“Are you here to grill me about Thinis' secrets?” Ardeth asked and she made a face.

“I’m sorry,” Evey admitted. “Sometimes I lose myself in my desire for knowledge and I act harshly. I wouldn’t want you to think your friendship is only a means to me.”

“I know the truth of your heart, Evelyn O’Connell,” the Medjai simply said. “You are a good person, if not a very patient one. Which is a surprise for a woman capable of speaking ten dead languages.”

“Only nine,” Evey corrected and everything in her tone confessed she found it a terrible shortfall on her part.

He smiled and didn’t admit to her he spoke more. Instead, he told her old tales of the lost city of Thinis, stories of the beginning of Egypt, when the Medjai were simply one tribe of several, before the rise of the united country, before the Pharaohs. Evelyn listened, eyes shining. In return, she recited the Culhwch and Olwen to him, translating on the fly from middle Welsh to English and Ardeth was in turn fascinated.

“When Jonathan is healed,” Ardeth said, refusing to entertain the idea that his friend could die. “I think I would like to see your country.”

“I would like to be your guide,” Evelyn answered, “and to guide you to its secrets. Even if we are sadly lacking in lost magic cities.”

“Perhaps we will find them together,” Ardeth said. “Perhaps there are Medjai in your country, keeping its secrets, like my brothers and myself are keeping the secrets of Egypt.”

***************************************************************

There was a child. A small, strange child, with green skin and a bizarre headdress. She was a girl, and young, so young, and Jonathan knew that one day, she would have been his to teach. He had always known and she had too, and sometimes, when he could, he had visited her and the other children, happy to see her grow safe and happy, like every child should.

But a shadow entered the room. A shadow with a cowl obscuring its face, but Jonathan knew. He knew that shadow had been his child too and if his lips were sealed by cold and death, his heart yelled and cried and raged, as the shadow cut in two the one who should have been his sister.

***************************************************************

Thinis slept under the sand but the Medjai knew a way. They always knew a way, custodians of so many secrets. Ardeth guided their small expedition and they started to dig, taking turns, to excavate the entry to the lost city.

“How long since you last dug it out?” Rick grumbled, as he was on the team excavating the sand. “It seems that door hasn’t seen the light of the sun since it was built, with all this freaking sand on it.”

“We haven’t come back since the sixteenth century,” Ardeth explained. “The amulet was stolen from a group of Medjai at that time, and we tracked the buyer, and tried to save his son who had touched the crystal.”

“And did it work?”

Ardet’s grimace told everything of the answer.

“Perfect, just perfect,” Rick growled and he started to work even harder.

Once the path to the door was cleared out, Ardeth left half his men outside on guard with Evelyn and Rick, and entered the city with Jonathan and the rest of the Medjai. Evelyn had protested, and Rick too, and it was Jonathan’s own voice that finally had convinced them. How could he fight the despair in his soul, if he was afraid for his family?

“You’re going with Ardeth!” Evelyn had protested and the Medjai had been touched by this casual inclusion in their family.

“Sometimes attachment isn’t enough,” Ardeth had told the young woman. “We have been trained since childhood for this. We won’t fail your brother. We won’t fail our friend in his time of need.”

The Medjai had been trained for this. To protect the world from everything that slept under the sand. To stand guard, silent, vigilant, between the people of Egypt and the different horrors the past had left. Ardeth thought about that as they progressed. It was his duty and also his honour, but even he found the slow walk into the city buried under the sand difficult.

Not physically.

Here, there weren't any of the traps or undead abominations which had marked his first adventure with Rick and company, when together they had stopped Imothep.

No, the difficulty was in all their hearts and it didn’t come from their own feelings. It was a song of despair, of infinite sadness, a grief which tore them apart and still asked for more. But where men of the past had succumbed, the Medjai didn’t. Perhaps the only ones who wouldn’t.

Duty. A life offered to duty. The desire to protect, even the people who didn’t understand them, who would have spit on their way of life. That was the Medjai way. And whatever was waiting for them in the heart of the city understood that, perhaps more than anything else in the world.

Perhaps even more than infinite sadness.

Duty, even in the time of grief.

For this, the warriors and Jonathan arrived alive at the ruined temple. Gritting their teeth against despair, but alive, if slightly dusty. Ardeth left his men there and guided Jonathan further in. The Englishman couldn’t walk anymore, despite courageous effort. Ardeth, a hand around his waist, dragged him into the sanctuary, and almost let go of him the moment they entered. In the light of the torch, the stone glittered in a way no stone should.

Slowly, Ardeth helped Jonathan to the base of the steps. When Jonathan was sitting down, he went closer to examine the stone. It was no stone, something his ancestors hadn’t included in their reports, perhaps for fear to seem insane.

Ardeth touched it.

It was metal, he was certain of it. A metal he couldn’t identify, but a metal. And there, at the base of it there was….

There was something deformed by heat, by time, by the shock of a crash in the desert centuries ago, but that a modern Medjai could identify where pre-pharaonic and fifteen centuries Medjai couldn’t.

Some sort of handle.

Some sort of door handle….

Ardeth, in a moment of dumb courage his Medjai teachers would have walloped his behind for, turned the handle. It was stuck, but with a bit of effort…

A hiss, stale air, and it opened.

On the stone floor, Jonathan had passed out.

Ardeth looked inside the stone which wasn’t a stone.

There was…there was some strange statue. A man. Certainly not Egyptian, but no people he could identify. Simply a man, very realistic, but only three-quarters of him could be seen, the rest lost in the mass of stone, or metal, behind him, like the sculptor had been interrupted. On the side, there was some metal contraption with lights, all red, and blinking like crazy. And one by one, they were going out.

Ardeth had half decided to throw Jonathan across his shoulders and start running, because he didn’t want to be there when the last one went out, when suddenly all of them failed and went dark.

There was a light, a noise, liquid falling on the floor, and a man stepped out of the statue, into Ardeth’s arms.

“Ahsoka,” he said, opening eyes as blue as the sky in the desert, and then he passed out. At the same time, a fog of grey lifted from Ardeth’s heart and he understood that whatever spell had come from the stone, the…thing, it was forever a thing of the past.

To say the Medjai, Rick and Evy were surprised to see half their team coming back with an extra member was an understatement. Their usual was more: 'sudden monster trying to eat their heart and liver,' not: 'mysterious human with red hair stepping out of a statue.' Nevertheless, camp was established, and Jonathan was examined from head to toe, then the man.

“He looks…normal,” was the very helpful diagnostic.

And he did. Only one head, blue eyes, red hair, red beard.

“He would seem more at his place in England, if not for the strange armour,” Evelyn commented, and then forget a little about their guest, because Jonathan had woken up. A little hungover, exhausted, but definitely himself.

And the stranger slept. Days after days. As they stayed in camp the time necessary to let Evelyn visit the ruins, which was both the sweetest gift the Medjai could give her, and the cruellest. The sweetest, because her soul thirsting for knowledge saw and learned things no archaeologist had ever dreamed off. The cruellest, because she could never talk about it, or publish about it, or even use the knowledge gained. Then they hid the entry of the city again and departed.

Every day, the sleeping stranger was tied up to Ardeth on his camel. Every night, they moistened cloths in milk and water, pressing them between his lips to nourish him. Every day, the stranger’s skin lost a little of his pallor as his health seemed to get better.

Jonathan helped the Medjai care for the man with a patience he hadn’t demonstrated in years. He felt a strange kinship with this stranger who had almost caused his death. How could he blame him when he remembered the depth of his sadness?

Sometimes, late in the night, when the memory of his pain was too much on his heart, he searched for Ardeth. He didn’t remember exactly what had happened in the temple, but he knew the warrior had saved his life and his sanity and he remembered his arms around his shoulders, his silent protection. Late in the nights, they talked.

They talked about Medjai training and Oxford. They talked about what they had seen of the world. They talked about their family, Ardeth’s grandfather and uncle who had led the Medjai before him and his father whom he hadn’t known, killed in battle before his birth.They talked about Jonathan and Evelyn’s parents and how their English family had never quite accepted this union and the children resulting…

One night, Ardeth even talked about why there never would be a Mrs. Ardeth Bey, something no person outside the Medjai had ever known, and Jonathan had thanked him for his trust and admitted some youthful indiscretions, in the terms used by his Oxford peers. This night, there was no more talking but every night they sat a little closer and neither the Medjai or the O'Connell interrupted their time together, happy to see the slow progress of their dance, the seed of happiness.

************************************************************

Obi-Wan woke up.

It was the strangest thing. It felt alien, unreal. Things were definitely quite jumbled upstairs, his brain as scrambled as if he had spent a weeklong bender with what the clones pretended was alcohol, but he knew it had been longer than that, far too long. He knew he had spent more time in carbonite thant he was supposed to for their infiltration of the Citadel. Images were rushing around in his mind, and pain and anger and grief and Padme yelling and Ahsoka, tall and proud, everything a Jedi should be, and Rex’s blood on the floor and Anakin’s eyes a sickly yellow and nothing, nothing made sense.

Obi-Wan called to the Force and pushed himself into healing with the rest of his strength.

He passed out.

The next time he woke up, he could perceive people around him.

Strangers, not Force sensitive, but…friendly? Or at least, not unfriendly. But his body was still terribly weak and again, Obi-Wan called to the Force.

The third time waking was the good one.

Around him, Obi-Wan knew it was night, all souls at rest save one, at his side, and others further away. Guards, probably.

Carefully, he pushed a little in the Force and perceived no other Force Sensitive around, so he latched onto the closest person and slowly, very slowly, tipped them into sleep.

Only then did Obi-Wan open his eyes.

A stranger, dressed for the desert. Human, or humanoid…no, human.

Obi-Wan carefully stood up. Even with the healing, his steps were hesitant. How long….

He stepped out of the tent, silent as only a Jedi could be. Someone had taken his armour, and changed his clothes. He was dressed in blue like the stranger he had sent to sleep. He needed to find his armour and where he was.

But first, and most importantly, his lightsaber. He concentrated, searched into the Force, encountered a sleeping man next to the embers of a dying fire and stopped.

In the Force, not only could he perceive his own kyber crystal in his lightsaber, in another tent, but also Anakin’s lightsaber. Anakin wasn’t there, of that he was sure, the sun of his power would be impossible to miss.

Obi-Wan found his lightsaber easily and his brother’s kyber, not in Anakin lightsaber but in a strange necklace. With a shrug, he put the necklace around his neck. Evading the place where he could feel the guards, Obi-Wan stepped out of the camp.

He had only trekked two dunes when he felt Ahsoka. Strange, more powerful Ahsoka, but definitely Ahsoka. He had already understood time had passed, so when he broke into a run, he thought he would find his Grand Padawan all grown up, regal and powerful, a Knight of her own. Perhaps already a Master!

When he saw her, it was a shock.

Blue and transparent and shining, waiting for him across the dunes, compassion written on all her being.

Obi-Wan had always known he was fated for infinite sadness and he understood the time he had waited for all his life had come for him.

***************************************************************

Ardeth was the one who found him.

It had been easy to track his steps across the sand, once he had found his cousin asleep next to the covers of their strange guest, instead of standing guard.

The man was kneeling in the sand and crying. Ardeth, who already had his knife out against what he was sure was a trap, hesitated.

The man looked up and, like in the sanctuary, the Medjai took the blue of his eyes like a shock. He saw the man shoulder his pain and shake himself, with the fortitude of one who had borne too much burden too often. Then the man stood up and touched his chest.

“Obi-Wan,” he said.

“Ardeth,” the Medjai answered and Obi-Wan bowed politely.

Ardeth designated the direction they had come from, like a question, and Obi-Wan obediently started the trip back. Side by side, they walked, Obi-Wan lost in his thought, and the Medjai observing him.

It had been this man’s pain that had resonated from inside the stone.

What sort of grief could be so terrible….One day, perhaps he would know.

For now, tea and food, for the stranger and for their expedition.

They had time.

As they were approaching the first tent, Obi-Wan turned a last time and saw Ahsoka. She bowed and disappeared, probably going back to the Force, or to the New Republic, which Anakin’s children had made happen, and then his grandchildren, great grandchildren, countless generations while Obi-Wan had been prisoner in the carbonite, the module damaged, stopping him from waking up.

Across the stars, far, far away, there were still Jedi, but what could he do, for people who thought his name was an old legend? People who weren’t even sure Anakin’s Fall and the End of the First Republic hadn’t been a legend for children, with how long ago it was?

Obi-Wan, resolutely, turned to the camp. He knew the world. Whatever the strange planet he had winded up, he was pretty sure there were people to help and things to learn. Starting with their language!

A man whom Obi-Wan had never seen but who was definitely strangely familiar, like Obi-Wan knew the shape of his soul, was running to them and he threw his arms around Ardeth, before babbling something the Jedi couldn’t understand, going beet red. Ardeth answered something, his tone firm, and put an arm around the other man’s waist in return, not letting him turn away. The other man went ever more red.

Obi-Wan smiled. Yes, people were people, whatever the species or the era.

The other man turned to Obi-Wan and again the Jedi had this strange impression of a resonance in the Force. The man wasn’t Force Sensitive, of that Obi-Wan was sure, but he almost could have been tipped in this direction, with just a small nudge from fate. What stayed was a strange connection, when their eyes met.

The man bowed in a fluid movement, ceremonial and old, which was pure Jedi, like he had learned from Obi-Wan himself better than Anakin ever learned it, not interested as he was in protocol, or even in being polite.

“Jonathan,” he said and Obi-Wan gave a bow in answer and said :

“Obi-Wan,” and the man smiled and said something he didn’t understand but which, Obi-Wan would have bet his lightsaber, meant some variations of ‘I know’.

At the side of the two men, the Jedi entered the camp and stepped into his new life.

#star war #the mummy returns #ardeth bay #jonathan carnahan #obi wan kenobi #the clone wars #crossover #my fics

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betabites · 4 years ago

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[Image ID: nine photos of painted miniatures.

The first photo is of two dwarves. One has green clothes and a large barrel on his back. He leans over so the second dwarf, in red, can fill his tankard.

The second photo is of a dark-skinned old dwarf leaning on a barrel. He has a silver and gold tankard of beer, and a blue surcoat.

The third photo is of two barrels, one small, one large. The large barrel has two runic ‘B’s on it.

The fourth photo is of a mimic monster that had been pretending to be a four-poster bed. Its mouth is open wide, and it reaches out with pseudopods that had been the posts of the bed. It is bruise-colored.

The fifth photo is of a very large skeleton in golden full plate armor. It has a black iron mace.

The sixth photo is of two mummies, one male-presenting and one female-presenting. The male mummy has green flesh and is mostly swathed in bandages, except for a brightly colored kilt. The female mummy has dark skin, a bikini top made of bandages, a long loincloth, and a golden snake-headed staff.

The seventh photo is of two frankensteins, one male-presenting and one female-presenting. The male has green skin, brown pants, a long black coat, and broken chains around his wrists. The female has a long red dress, and is made of a patchwork of several different skin tones.

The eighth photo is of a fishing boat made of dark green wood. Across the bow is written ‘Gatorbane’ in gold letters. Within the boat is a set of oars, a net, and a basket. A lantern hangs from the prow.

The ninth photo is of five skeletal warriors. They are armed with axes, swords, and shields, and wear damaged bronze armor and blue tabards. End Image IDs.]

And all the rest of the minis, all from Reaper. I’m trying to get as much as I can done before Bones V shows up and drowns me in more minis. The mummies and frankensteins are technically of a set with the Zubat vampires I did back in October. And, uh, wow, monster sexual dimorphism is A Thing, huh? Admittedly, I did play into it by making the dudes green skinned here, but still, wow. That mummy sorceress is definitely not desiccated at all. And the Bride of Frankenstein couldn’t have been wearing a wedding dress, as opposed to a ‘mwahaha, I’m an evil sorceress’ cocktail dress? At least she’s still really tall?

Only minis I’m actively working on at the moment are Yang and the giant dragon from Bones IV. I’m doing the dragon as a red; got a basecoat down tonight. Gonna try for a quick paintjob, because it’s just too big for anything else.

#Reaper miniatures #miniature painting

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virtual-toast · 4 years ago

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Scream Queens VH1 recap - Season 1 Episode 2

Michelle, Sarah, Kylah, and Jessica come back from the grand ballroom and the rest of the girls are shocked and/or pissed that Jo-Anne went home instead of Kylah. Lindsay says “This house will mourn the loss of Jo-Anne” and Sarah, in tears, calls her “such a sensational actress”, which are both super melodramatic reactions, you knew Jo-Anne for three days, but okay. Meanwhile Kylah has no idea why everyone is upset that she’s still there haha.

The following day sees Kylah declaring the house has been divided into the “queen bitches” (herself, Michelle, Lina, and Angela) and the “more homely girls” (Marissa, Lindsay, and Sarah). I’m assuming she’s put Tanedra and Jessica in the latter category too but she doesn’t mention them specifically. The bitchy girls talk shit about the other girls behind their backs, specifically about how they think Sarah didn’t deserve to win the previous episode, that she’s ugly and annoying, etc.

The girls meet up with Shawnee who tells them they have 15 minutes to dress themselves up and impress a casting director (Kelly Wagner, who seems pretty cool tbh) with the winner getting a guaranteed callback. While getting ready, Michelle and Angela mention that if the winner is not one of the bitchy girls, the competition must be rigged. An awful lot of confidence for week 2, lol.

The girls go back into the room with Shawnee and meet Kelly. They take turns doing a sort of one on one interview / audition, which I’m gonna summarise in dot points because they each get a small amount of screen time:

Lindsay talks about being a child actor and Kelly says that means she probably actually has a harder job than someone just starting out. Lindsay is wearing a weird sort of frilly top and skirt with polka dots but it somehow doesn’t really work for her shape, and Kelly mentions it as well as Shawnee straight up calling her frumpy. True, but also, rude.

Lina goes up and immediately shakes Kelly’s hand. She doesn’t even get a word out before Kelly is like “yeah no, don’t shake casting directors’ hands, personal space / germs” etc.

Kylah talks about playing Price is Right with her brother which Kelly says is a bad choice because she’s automatically associating herself with being a model rather than an actress. Kylah proceeds to mention that she wants to “get ugly, get dirty, like Halle Berry did in Monster.” cringe

Marissa gets up and starts off on this huge spiel about how horror films are like modern Greek tragedies and everyone is just staring at her like GIRL WHAT.

Michelle introduces herself and Kelly asks if she primarily does theatre because of her big personality. Michelle proceeds to brag about being Miss Teen Texas.

Jessica is wearing a smart-casual outfit of jeans and a simple white top with her trademark giant hoop earrings. Kelly comments on her look being unique. Jessica is kinda speaking like a cute little girl who doesn’t want to let the evil out??

Angela mentions how she thinks she has the stereotypical horror “look”. Her outfit isn’t relevant but I have to mention it anyway - it honestly looks like she cut the top off a blue evening gown to wear as a shirt?? and then just jeans. Like idk.

Sarah introduces herself and Kelly immediately comments on her unique nasally voice.

Tanedra tells Kelly that she has no formal training. Kelly says “And you think you can beat out all these girls?” and Tanedra’s like YES. Fuck yeah get it girl.

So Kelly goes ahead and gives her overall impressions - Kylah has no personality, Angela has the best horror look, Lindsay looks like the best friend rather than the leading lady, Marissa is the one she didn’t remember, and she liked Jessica’s personal style. Ultimately she gives Jessica the guaranteed callback, and also sends Lindsay and Marissa for makeovers which Michelle finds hilarious.

The girls go back into the house and Kylah proceeds to have a tantrum about not winning, stating that if the casting director was a man the results would have been different. But get this, she DOES NOT CHANGE EXPRESSION THE ENTIRE TIME. Even when she’s yelling “I’M ABOUT TO CRY” she literally just has this blank look on her face like is she actually made of wax?? Meanwhile Lindsay and Marissa have their makeovers, Lindsay gets a cool short reverse A-line bob cut and looks really badass, while Marissa gets her hair dyed jet black and cut in choppy layers. It looks fine but you can tell by her face Marissa is not happy.

The girls go to Homa’s class and since the week is all about first impressions, they have to do freeze frame shots of particular expressions, I guess so they can see what they actually look like vs. what they think they look like or something. Most of the girls do pretty well, Tanedra kills it again, Marissa bombs, and Kylah once again LITERALLY DOES NOT CHANGE EXPRESSION. What the fuck.

Back at the house the girls are all gushing over Lindsay and Marissa’s makeovers, Michelle voices her jealousy despite earlier thinking it was hilarious, and Angela is mad that she’s no longer the only one with her “look”, even though she and Marissa don’t look the same at all, the only similarity is the colour of their hair?? Marissa goes and has a cry about her hair because she’s now lost all her confidence and honestly it’s actually kinda sad / hard to watch.

The next day they find one of the rooms in the house has been filled with creepy dolls and of course one of them is actually a person that jumps out and scares them because omg what a funny prank haha. The “doll” tells them their director’s challenge is a photoshoot which many of the girls are stoked about. They’re basically given generic horror themes and have to shoot the poster. Dot points again!

Lina gets “Tie Die” and her costume is literally a length of rope that’s wrapped around her. She immediately cracks the shits and goes into full blown diva mode, complaining about her costume, how apparently difficult her theme is compared to other girls, telling the makeup and hair people how to do their jobs, etc. Whaaaaat, Lina is a bitch?? This is brand new information!! Unfortunately she still does a really good job with the photoshoot.

Lindsay gets “Blinded By the Fright” and her costume is a hospital gown and white contact lenses, which she has difficulty putting in but is EXTREMELY polite about it with the makeup lady (a nice juxtaposition to Lina’s bitch fest). Lindsay also does really well in the photoshoot.

Kylah gets “Thin Skin” which she comments sounds like a porno, lmao. Her costume is literally just black liquid latex painted all over her body and the other girls are fucking FROTHING with jealously. Kylah proceeds to completely bomb the challenge, giving absolutely no emotion and James literally has no idea how to direct her.

Michelle gets “Don’t Go in the Water” and is basically just wearing a bikini, but then James dumps a bottle of cold water all over her. She does really well in the photoshoot.

Sarah gets “Blood Skate”, her costume is just a bloody ice skating outfit, and she does okay.

Tanedra gets “Prom Scream”, she is wearing a bloody prom dress, and she does really well.

Jessica gets “The Butcher’s Girl” and she’s literally wearing a hat, gloves, no shirt, just an apron and shorts? And there’s blood? This one confuses me. She does okay.

Angela gets “Monster’s Wedding” which some of the other girls (correctly) complain is SUPER easy - she’s literally in a wedding dress posing with a bloody hand prop. She does fine but I mean all she has to do is stand there and smile??

Marissa gets “Mummy Maker” and she’s wrapped in what I assume are bandages but it looks like toilet paper? She’s pretty covered, including the bottom half of her face, and she’s supposed to be seductive but honestly it kinda just feels like an awkward interpretive dance??

The next day back at the house, Marissa vents to the other girls about her insecurity with her new hair. Like I know it’s just hair but it’s kinda sad, they completely changed her look which obviously fucks with her confidence. The girls get their photoshoot posters and everyone is stoked except Marissa (rightfully) and Lindsay, who basically has an anxiety attack and hates hers even though everyone is telling her how great it is. Whoo boy I relate to Lindsay so hard. Jessica reads the list which summons Marissa, Kylah, Lindsay, and Lina to the grand ballroom. They all think they’re at the bottom except Lina, who of course thinks she’s top shit.

In the grand ballroom, Lina gets pulled forward and despite doing well in the challenge, the judges straight up read her for being a bitch, which is hella satisfying let me tell you. Lindsay gets pulled forward and the judges tell her that she did an awesome job and that she needs to go easier on herself, before awarding her the week’s leading lady. Marissa and Kylah are predictably the bottom two, Marissa gets told she’s overthinking everything and Kylah just that she’s completely emotionless. Kylah gets the axe and Marissa lives another week.

Stay tuned for Season 1 Episode 3!

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brokehorrorfan · 4 years ago

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Giant from the Unknown will be released on Blu-ray and DVD on January 19 via The Film Detective. The 1958 sci-fi horror film has been restored in 4K from the original camera negative.

A limited edition bundle is available to pre-order from The Film Detective until November 13 ($64.95 for Blu-ray, $59.95 for DVD). Scheduled for delivery by December 13, the set features a Giant from the Unknown lapel pin, bookmark, magnet, deck of cards, 13-month 2021 cult film calendar, bonus mystery film, and a 1-year subscription to The Film Detective's streaming service.

The cult classic is directed by Richard E. Cunha (Frankenstein's Daughter) and written by Ralph Brooke (Bloodlust) and Frank Hart Taussig. Ed Kemmer, Sally Fraser, and Buddy Baer star. Jack Pierce (Frankenstein, The Mummy, The Wolf Man) designed the makeup.

The Blu-ray includes a booklet with liner notes by film historian Tom Weaver. Special features are listed below.

Special features:

Audio commentary with film historian Tom Weaver and guests

Audio commentary with actor Gary Crutcher

Interview with actor Gary Crutcher

The Man With A Badge: Bob Steele in the 1950s with film historian C. Courtney Joyner

Trailer

Booklet with liner notes by film historian Tom Weaver (Blu-ray only)

Dr. Frederick Cleveland and his daughter Janet are joined by scientific researcher Wayne Brooks in the pursuit of ancient artifacts from Vargas, a giant 500-year-old Spanish conquistador. When a lightning storm interrupts their search, the team finds much more than artifacts when the long-lost Vargas returns to life, with a murderous rage and an axe to grind!

#giant from the unknown #horror #sci fi #50s horror #1950s horror #1950s science fiction #50s sci fi #science fiction #cult classic #b movie #the film detective #dvd #gift #jack pierce #frankenstein

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nightofnetter · 4 years ago

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Time to finally share this...

My Favorite Unus Annus Episodes

Ethan will be kicked in the balls

Baby hands operation

Drawing memes from memory

An AI predicts how we are going to die

Mark turns Ethan into a mummy

We buy a professional hypnosis video

Mark and Ethan attempt an escape room

Ethan destroys mark’s van with a bat

Ethan gives mark a Viking funeral

The great meat mistake

Floating inside a real sensory deprivation tank

Santa’s Mukbang (Drinking 1 gallon of eggnog)

Hiding our sins from Amy’s holy peepers

DIY Bungee Jump (don’t try this at home)

Recreating Ourselves as a Cursed Mannequin

This is How We’ll Die

We Cryogenically Freeze Ourselves

Bad Bad Beans

We Hired a Real Hypnotherapist to Analyze Our Darkest Dreams

Looking at Long Lost Memes

Ethan Redefines Male Beauty

Literally Eating Fire

Unregulated Axe Throwing

Literally Laying on Literal Broken Glass

Making an Indoor Tornado to Flex on Mother Nature

Nutball: The Most Dangerous Game

Becoming a Master of Mime

Are We Already Dead?

Our Perfect (And Last) Valentine’s Day

Drunk College Party Simulator

The Ultimate Trolly Problem

Goat Yoga

Granting Access into Heaven’s Sweet Gates

Mark and Ethan go on a “Drum Date”

Top 10 Worst Things Your Friend Could Possibly Spend Money On

REAL Ghost Hunting in an Abandoned Zoo

Becoming the World’s Greatest DJs

Who Can Teach Their Dog a Trick the Fastest?

Mark and Ethan Get Into a Fight

The Barrel - Official Music Video

Mark and Ethan Get a Full Body Scan to See What Secrets Lay Hidden Within (and learn their body fat)

Mark Needs to Rub Ethan And Only His Mom Can Help Him

2 Idiots Get Crushed by 18-Foot Giant Snakes

Unus Annie Carves the Roast Beef

We Tried A Labor Pain Simulator

Mark’s 1 Weird Talent Leaves Ethan Absolutely Speechless

We Made Every YouTuber Battle in the Hunger Games

We Google Each Other to Find Our Darkest Forgotten Sins

We Played Mad Libs and Ran it Through Google Translate

Speed Reading at 1000+ WPM to Gain Complete Understanding of All Human Knowledge

We Found Websites that the World Forgot About

The Scariest True Stories on the Internet

How to NOT Be the Perfect Boyfriend

Mark and Ethan Find the Lost City of El Dorado

Using Google Maps to Find the Lost City of Atlantis

Running Internet Drama Through Google Translate

The Secret Unus Annus No-Touchy Touchy Hans Shake

Two Male Men Judge Female Women On Their Beauty

Don’t Go in the Ocean... Ever.

We Looked at Unus Annus Memes

Is Mark a Masochist?

Are Reptilian Humanoids Living Among Us?

Like it or not... This is What The New Human Looks Like

Eating Only Onions for 24 Hours: How Many Onions Does It Take to Kill a Man?

Making Our Own Gravestones to Prepare for Our Inevitable Demise

How Tall Can A Human Get? An Impartial Review by 2 Average Height Men

Mark Teaches Ethan Korean

Bigfoot is Real and It Ate My Friend

We Explore the Unus Annus Subreddit for Your Delicious Memes

We Played Strip Poker

Mark Cooks Blindfolded While Ethan Guides Him Through FaceTime

DIY Boob

The Unus Annus Confessional Booth

Only UNUS-es May Watch This Video

Only ANNUS-es May Watch This Video

Reacting to Your HILARIOUS Green Screen Memes

Attempting to Build IKEA Furniture Without Instructions

We Made Fanart For Each Other

Will We Break These Boards... Or Will They Break Us?

Creating Mark FISHbach

Ethan Traps Mark’s Soul In The Palm Of his Hand

2 Men In a Trench Coat Teach You How To Save Money at the Movies

Building the World’s First IKEA Boat

Ethan Teaches Mark How to Swim

Mark is Guilty. Ethan Has the Proof.

Recreating Mark’s Childhood

Unus Annus Try Pole Dancing

The Unus Annus Space Program

The Egg Smashing Game

Dunking Oreos in Literally Anything But Milk

How to Escape From a Hostage Situation

The Annual Unus Annus Dunk Contest

Ultimate Horseshoes

Recharging Our Phones Using Only Brute Strength

Mark Teaches Ethan How To Play a Trumpet

The Wubble

Mark and Ethan Shave Chica

DO NOT TRY THIS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES

Hydro Dipping a Baby

Popping Popcorn With a High-Powered Laser

Puberty Simulator

Momiplier Teaches Self-Defense

Playing Children’s Games in Total Darkness

Too Many Pickles

Mark’s Outdoor Escape Room

Hunting HeeHoo

Mark Gives Ethan a HOT (stone) Massage

We Smell Every Smell

How Many Slaps Does It Take to Cook a Chicken?

Mark Teaches Ethan How To March In A Marching Band

Making Snow Cones With Literally Anything But Normal Flavors

We Attempt Pottery Without Amy’s Help

Learning to Use the Force

Brick Soccer

Mark Knows What Ethan Did...

This Video Will Never Make Sense

Ethan Watches as Mark Does the Impossible

This Video Went Completely Out of Control

DIY Minesweeper

Literally Finding A Needle in a Haystack

Drawing On Each Other’s Backs in Total Darkness

We Bought Every Grinch Costume on EBay

Learn to Jump Higher in 16 Minutes and 16 Seconds

Momiplier Tells Us True Scary Stories from Korea

We Force Mark to Swim in the Ocean (HIS GREATEST FEAR)

Cryptic Olympics

Phasmophobia in Real Life

Edward Pumpkin Hands

The Annual Unus Annus Costume Contest

Ethan Kidnapped Mark

The Truth About Unus Annus

The Unus Annus Last Supper

Being Brutally Honest With Each Other

Recreating Every Single Unus Annus Video

All Our Video Ideas That Never Happened

Who’s Cutting Onions in Here???

The 1st Annual Unus Annus Roast

Saying Goodbye to All Our Guests

Everything’s Legal if You’re Dead

Goodbye.

#nightofnetter nonsense #Unus annus #memento mori #‘twas a good year #sorta.#for the channel #definitely not personally #long post

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youarejesting · 5 years ago

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BTS365 Prompts

[Masterlist]

Please tag me in your work if you use my prompts. I want to see your work. Ever your Jester.

Tell me your birthday and I will tag you on your special day!

═══════ ೋღ ღೋ ═══════

April 23rd - 29th

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Kim Seokjin: DNA

You were visiting your friend. She had given you her address as you both had plans next week but you wanted to surprise her so you arrived early driving into the gated community. It was a whole town fenced off. Weird. You passed through security by dropping the name of your friend you were visiting and headed through.

You pulled up in a guest parking lot and walked to her house knocking. She grabbed you pulling you inside, “who knows you are here, did anyone see you?” “No but why is this place so cult-y I mean that rose business is everywhere the flags the buildings it’s even on that damn necklace you are wearing, if this is a cult I have to get you out. Don’t drink the kool aid”

She tried to rush you out the door telling you to get in your car and you both could leave, “look you have to go quickly out the way you came, if they find you I don’t know what will happen”

You were scared because she wasn’t joking there was no ‘haha just kidding’ no ‘April fools’ this was serious. She was serious. You went to race back to your car when you heard a chorus of howls. You were soon surrounded. By wolves? Pausing as they growled around you. A man coming out and leading you across town.

After the regular interrogation who are you, why are you here? You made it to a large building; it looked like a large frat house. You were led inside and to a door, standing there you smelt something pleasant, a soft jasmine, and cedar with a sharp fresh aqua. The moment you stepped inside you felt his presence, lowering your head like everyone else you felt weak. His back was to you and you didn’t know what was happening but the scent was all over the room and instead of being overpowering like axe body spray. This made your head fog up in the most pleasing ways.

“I heard you trespassed on our land sweetheart?” The word wasn’t spoken with endearment, as he pulled your chin up, your eyes caught his seeing a golden spark fill his dark eyes. He had stilled for a moment, your eyes scanned him over he was devilishly handsome and had broad shoulders, strong arms, his waist was thin and his legs firm. Your eyes met his once more realizing how you were blatantly ogling him. “Mine”

Min Yoongi: Pretzel

“Welcome everyone to the weekly CBM meeting, I see a lot of new faces so let's begin with introductions and why you are here?”

”Hello I am Kim Seokjin, I’m a werewolf, I have been coming here for three months because I accidentally shifted one night and my bonds broke, and they found me lying in the park and deemed it inappropriate. So now I spend every Wednesday for the next six months coming to Creature Behavior management”

“Hi I am Jung Hoseok I um saved a girl from drowning and swam her up to the beach but when I pulled her out of the water and shifted back I had no pants and her father beat me and I am here to prove I am good and I mean I get to meet new friends so it can’t be too bad right?” “I am Min Yoongi, a Zombie, strictly vegetarian, I just wanted a pretzel and apparently it’s considered inappropriate to threaten to eat someone if they try to push in line”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that and the zombie looked at you across the room swinging your legs back and forth on the chair. “I would let you eat me” You giggled watching his pale undead cheeks stain a dark grey. “My name is Y/N and apparently refusing to let a guy get you a drink at a house party makes me a tease and when you refuse their advances, they try to take you to the bedroom anyway, Yet when you refuse again publicly they accuse you of using your succubus powers on them. Then when you actually use your powers on them and force them to make out with one another, they don’t seem to like that”

“Ahh... my undead heart, you are my soulmate.” Yoongi laughed along with everyone in the circle muttering under his breath quietly but you still were able to catch it. “Marry me” “Okay bring the documents baby we can get married” You smiled and he lent forward licking his lips eyeing you up and down.

“How's next Wednesday for you?” “I will wear my best dress” You winked at him and he snapped his teeth back at you.

Jung Hoseok: Scale

Your father was a fisherman, and you spent your childhood years on the water. Sitting on the bowsprit legs dangling as you sang songs dreaming of pirates and mermaids and sea monsters. You would sing songs you made up and sometimes when you looked really hard you could see figures moving under the water. It was all the brilliance of a childhood imagination. But here you were years later a young lady home from the city, your father readied the boat some of the fishermen were new and some of their eyes lingered a little too long for your liking.

You sat on the bowsprit singing the old songs from when you were a kid, it was nostalgia and you remembered every word. Arriving at the usual fishing spot you swear you saw something move under the water. You grinned as your childish wonder had obviously come back to greet you.

You continued singing and playing on the ship sticking to the bow you loved looking over. The waves picked up but they did it so often you barely shifted. Your sea legs had long since been of use. “You might want to go in girl if it’s too scary for you”

You rolled your eyes standing and walking down the bowsprit like it was a tightrope grabbing the thick metal cord standing on the very edge. You were happily spinning around the cord when you definitely saw what looked like a torso. You saw it again. “Man overboard” You called across the boat. Everyone scrambled and you jumped in after him.

Just as you reached the area you had seen him he was gone, you turned to face a giant wave taking a deep breath.

You were pushed down hitting the side of the boat you tried to swim but the force of the wave was so strong. Arms wrapped around you and your eyes flew open seeing him the man in the water he looked oddly familiar. He swam quickly to the surface and held you there to breath.

“I never thought I would see you again,” he grinned and you felt the heat in your cheeks. “You used to sing all the time here, oh there is another wave hold your breath or whatever human thing you do” he tucked you against him and swam quickly under the wave.

You felt him rolling his hips against you and you tried to push him away, you had just met what the hell does he think he is doing. Looking down your eyes widened and looked away quickly. He wasn’t trying anything with you, the roll of his hips was how he swam. He was an actual real life mermaid. “Hang in there darling, I will bring you to the surface” he swam you to the boat.

Kim Namjoon: Pin

Watching the streets, the humans were getting smarter, locking themselves away at night, but what was this? A little girl walking the streets no more than four or five calling out for her mummy. Taehyung held his hand up telling his men to wait now wasn’t the time to strike; they had to be patient. “Mummy” she called crying, she tripped the scent of blood filled the air as she had scraped her knee. She cried hysterically and the door opened.

“Darling are you hurt?” The girl nodded, tears pouring down her face, her little heart beating hard from the hysteria. “Come to me okay” she whispered and the little girl got up and walked over. Taehyung signaled to his people and they dropped down from the roof into the shadows.

“They are coming Abigail bring the girl inside” “Where is my mummy?” She cried “please my mummy?” Men came out guns pointed at the red eyes glowing from the shadows, “is she human?” “She is bleeding, vampires don’t bleed” “Come inside sweetheart” the woman said and the vampires started to attack each human was captured and tied, each dragged back to the castle. “We brought dinner sir?”

“Shut that child up” Namjoon waved his hand and Taehyung did just that and the room fell silent as her body fell limp on the floor. “Okay not only did you steal my prey you snapped my neck?” The little girl shouted and with a loud crack her neck sat normally on her shoulders. She stood up, form changing from a child to an adult. “I spent years perfecting my skills of shape shifting to lure people out and you want to steal my kill.”

Namjoon’s eyes widened, “Restrain her” and she was taken to the cells except being a shapeshifter it didn’t last long even if it was bars of silver. Namjoon was in an important meeting when a cat jumped onto his desk and transformed into that woman again. He leaned back in his chair pissed, she talked too much. His hand gripped around her throat tightly and she smiled unaffected despite the little uptick in her artificially beating heart.

“You can’t kill me” she scoffed “I can damn well try”

Park Jimin: Zipper

Running through the forest on your early morning jog, you let your mind wander. The music in your ears takes you away to another world as you put one foot in front of the other. Before long you realized something was wrong you weren’t on the path.

The tree’s were dense, the air cold and your music cut out your phone battery dying, something was seriously wrong. Walking along scared this is when someone either dies or the early morning jogger finds a dead body, it’s always the joggers. What did they ever do?

The sky darkened and it started to rain, an hour lost became two, three, four until the small glow behind the rain clouds disappeared and it rained on through the night. You were cold but you kept stumbling around looking for the path looking for something.

There was a light in the distance and you strode over without hesitation, behind you it sounded as if someone was singing it was beautiful too beautiful for a creepy night in the forest. You continued toward the fire but the singing got louder.

The voice was angelic and it almost pulled you away but the thought of warm fire kept luring you in. It was a camp, there was a fire and a big pot over it, there were people walking around. On closer inspection the people looked unnaturally long and thin and all you could smell was a bitter rotten scent. You almost stepped into the camp when you noticed hoof prints in the mud. All too soon you realized the singing had stopped when a hand covered your mouth you couldn’t move your body frozen.

“Shh, don’t make a sound or they will kill you” the angelic voice whispered gently singing and walking you backwards. You were entranced by the words flooding your mind and making your head spin. The figure behind you tripped and you fell with an audible groan.

“Run” he grabbed your hand taking off through the trees, those things roared and you heard loud hooves and grunts that seemed so close to you.

The man in front of you was wearing a cloak and had such an agile form he moved like a serpent or cat so smooth and graceful. His body Zipping in and out of the trees, unlike you, who stumbled and tripped hitting every branch along the way. The screech behind you sent chills up your spine and you started to turn to look behind you.

“Don’t look at them! just keep moving we are almost there” Wherever there was you were unsure. There was a weird feeling like you had just dived into warm water and you felt safe and he slowed down.

“We are safe here, come inside you are all wet I will get you some clean dry clothes” he returned and you saw just how beautiful he was. “Please don’t look at me, I know I am nothing like the men you are use to, tall, strong, bearded protectors like that with broad shoulders and big muscles, it’s just Fae are smaller with weird features so I am just”

“Beautiful” you whispered your words shocking him.

Kim Taehyung: Honesty

Kim Taehyung had lived in the elven city all his life and was a little odd for an Elf. His features were a little different for any normal elf as well, his ears stuck out a little more and his features weren’t as pointed as the other elves. He had a strange view of the world and didn’t think the same way as everyone else. For one he was too playful for any young adult elf, he was expected to be more mature for his age and two he had a wolf companion. Mind you it was a tiny thing, a runt of its litter and super fluffy with dark fur that shone in the sun. All this wasn’t passable for a common elf but to make matters worse. He was Prince Taehyung, the middle child he had one older brother and one younger sister.

Walking into the city you were confused, Your parents wanted to unite the kingdom’s and have you marry someone of the royal family. You hated it, of course you had been disciplined every day to act like an elf but you didn’t want to live your life stifled by propriety and poise. You reluctantly waved out the window and stepped out in your frankly too big dress, your father greeted the other elven King and you saw the first Prince step forward and kiss your hand like a gentleman but you hated it he was textbook royalty and just as you hid your disdain behind your lace fan another prince ran in his hair a mess of twigs and from his knees down was just mud and grass stains and following his muddy footprints was a tiny fluffy wolf trailing his own paw prints across the marble floor.

“Please forgive my son” the queen turned to her son and gestured for him to leave and he bit his lip looking upset. “How about we adjourn to the dining room for some refreshments?”

“I would like to bide in my room, if you could kindly escort me whilst on your way to your Quarters? I need some time to collect my bearings after such a long journey?” You used your fake princess act and the younger prince nodded looking slightly alarmed at his family, his mother nodding earnestly and he swallowed, gesturing down the hall.

“I deeply apologize for my current disheveled appearance, I was in the garden” “Your hands seem clean?” You said curiously “I was wearing gloves” he grinned “Ah gloves” Once out of sight you bent down “And who is your tiny companion?” The wolf jumped up placing his dirty paws on your dress.

“Princess!” He looked ashamed “Your gown” “Oh well, it is dirty now, what's a little more?” “Princess I must implore” His voice came out more like a deep childish whine and you couldn’t help the elated feeling it brought you. “Implore all you wish, but I will not yield”

“Stubbornness is unbecoming of a Princess” “Do you know much about being a Princess?” “Sadly my knowledge in that area is limited, but, I believe it shan't be different from the wonders of being a prince.” “You too recite somber balladry and compressing yourself into derisory bodices”

“I don’t know what you just said but it sounded fancy” He smiled sheepishly. “Can we drop the act, I feel you hate being royalty as much as I do” “If I am honest there are not enough fanciful words that can express my loathing for being born royal, I am a laughing stock of the village Prince Taehyung thank the stars he is the second brother he is as odd as he is odd looking”

“I think you are handsome, more so than your brother, I would love to bask in your very presence and gaze upon the pleasantness that is your beauty. Perhaps we should switch places and you can be Princess y/n” “Your room Prince Taehyung?” He grinned

“I see Shall I escort you, to your room Princess y/n?” “How kind of you but I am simply at the end of the hall, do not trouble yourself?” “When we have composed ourselves and our outfits, Can I have the pleasure of escorting you around the uh courtyard perhaps?”

“Perhaps the library instead, if I am caught outside once more the queen will have my head” He took your hand and flushed a little as he pressed his lips to your hand softly. “I will be eagerly awaiting?”

Jeon Jungkook: Batman vs Ironman @yungisseesaw

It had been years since Jungkook’s people and the Human’s world became one, it was strange like two alternate timelines crossed over joining into one. The humans were not so welcoming for the first few years and so growing up Jungkook had people stare and judge him for his differences.

Jungkook was now a Young adult and a big time nerd, he spent his time watching superhero movies and playing video games, going to the arcade and funnily enough playing DND with his friends, all of which were human. Jimin and Hoseok were roommates and they had a really cute neighbor who Jungkook had seen only a handful of times over the fence a few times which meant she didn’t know he was a centaur. So while the others went to get pizza and movies Jungkook was home alone. Him and cars didn’t really mix well, not only didn’t he fit, they made him nauseous. You had chosen that moment to invite yourself over, except in a towel. “Hello, Hoseok, Jimin, are you home, I know you said to use the key for emergencies, but my hot water ran out”

“They aren’t here?” Jungkook said hiding behind the couch she turned and squealed “They went to get pizza and movies” “Oh well is it okay if I borrow the shower, I am freezing”

“Of course go ahead?” You went upstairs and he frowned curling up on the couch trying to curl his feet up and cover himself in blankets and pillows to hide his legs from her. “We are home?” Hoseok shouted and they laid out pizza boxes and drinks. “Why do you look so pale?”

“Y/N, is in the shower right now, her hot water ran out and she asked to borrow your shower” “Dude, you finally talked to her face to face, how did she take it?” “Well I was kind of hiding behind the couch?” They looked down at the fort he had made around himself and they smiled sadly.

“Wow that feels better” “Hey, Y/N, what do you think of centaurs?” Jimin grinned dodging Jungkook’s hand as it was swinging with vengeance “Hmm uh I have nothing against them, they are people too” “Would you ever date a centaur?” Yoongi added that any girl for their best friend had to get through them first.

“I mean yeah, I don’t know how the business would work but if I like someone it’s for who they are and not what they look like, any of you could come out right now and tell me you were one of the Cenpeople and I would still love you all just the same.

Yoongi seemed to approve and ripped the blankets off of Jungkook revealing his horse lower half and his weird four legged lounge pants. “Hyung!” Jungkook tried to grab at pillows and the blanket to cover himself back up but resorted to burying his face in a throw cushion sniffling in shame and embarrassment. His ears were bright red.

You looked over at him and sat on the couch across from him, “Do you know what I have a problem with Kookie, that you think that Iron man is the best rich orphan powerless superhero when clearly it is Bruce Wayne”

“You two are still arguing about that?” Namjoon scoffed “They have been going on about it for three weeks now” Jimin grinned “It’s like their odd way of flirting I think it’s cute”

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