#gi Joe storm shadow

[phonyphreaker]

These two

That’s all. Just them

[blade-liger-4ever]

Just what I needed!!!

Ah, so glad people remember Renegades!

@gijoe-forever I hope you enjoy this!

[sloaneispunk]

“jealousy jealousy”

stormshadow (lee byung hun) x you

“i told you i’d kill him if he touched you again”

✶ ──── 🀀 ──── ✶

when you joined cobra, you had to take up different missions with different objectives. this time, you had to go undercover as the baroness, earning the trust of the baron so you could infiltrate the secret code for weapons.

“y/n, this is stormshadow. he’s assigned to keep you safe during the mission, i need you two to work together.” your employer said.

your first impressions of stormshadow was that he was reslly goodlooking. he had the perfect facial harmony that somehow complemented his physique as a whole.

“my pleasure, ms y/n.” stormshadow greeted, subtly bowing down as a sign of respect.

“you’ll start in a few hours, you have a date with the baron at 7 sharp! don’t be late!” your employer shouted from a far as he walked off, leaving the two of you behind.

“i’ll come back at 6:30 to pick you up.” the man in front of you reminded.

you nodded and gave him a smile before heading off.

back in your room, you found a box already waiting for you on your bed.

‘picked out a dress for you’ the note said as it laid perfectly on the box.

you opened it, finding a silk, white dress. it was beautiful.

funny enough, it seemed like a total coincidence that stormshadow’s suit also happened to be white.

a while later you were ready for the mission. you looked in the mirror one last time and headed down.

then came a ring of the doorbell.

6:30pm sharp. what a gentleman.

as you opened the front door, you were met with a familiar face, stormshadow. he seemed to had been in awe as you waited for his reaction.

“how do i look?” you asked nervously, biting your lip as you waited for an answer.

“give me a twirl.”

you spun on your heel, watching as the dress flowed almost magically with you.

“beautiful.” he smiled, extending his arm for you to take as he led you to the car.

✶ ──── 🀀 ──── ✶

when you reached the restaurant, your jaw dropped. it was the most luxurious place you had ever seen.

the walls were pitch black, decorated with sleek lights that dimly lit the whole place, causing you to stand out.

“i feel stupid.” you told him as you walked.

you were never used to such affluence. but ever since you had taken this job working with cobra you had been exposed to more and more richness. still, it was like a fever-dream.

“you’re far from that, y/n…” he replied, “now, just entertain him for the night, keep him interested but don’t let him push it too far. if anything goes wrong, i’ll be right there.”

you looked towards where he pointed, it wasn’f too far from your table. he was stationed at the bar.

and with that, the mission had begun.

you tried your best to stay intrigued by the things the baron was saying, you really did. but in all honesty, you couldn’t be bothered. often, you eyes wandered to the bar, hoping to catch s glimpse of stormshadow.

when you did happen to see him, he would give you a reassuring smile. almost as if he was letting you know that he still had your back. and that kept you going for the night.

when the excruciating dinner finally came to an end, the baron asked to send you home. however, you politely declined.

he didn’t take it well.

“c’mon, we can have a little fun at your place to.” he tried but failed to sound seductive.

“oh, no, my driver’s picking me up-”

the baron grabbed your arm.

“i think i’ve earned it.” he insisted, pulling you closer as you gave him a nervous chuckle.

stormshadow watched as his grip on his glass tightened. he thought of interfering but he knew it would compromise the mission, so he sat still, holding back whatever anger he was feeling inside.

“seriously, i shouldn’t. my driver’s outside.” you told the baron in a strict tone, making him finally stop insisting. instead, he put on a fake smile, bringing your hand up to his lips.

“i’ll see you soon, y/n.”

you put on your best geniune fake smile and took off.

once you got into the car you felt like you could breathe again. you let out a loud sigh and kicked off your heels.

then, the door opened, stormshadow swiftly got in to the seat beside you as the driver drove off.

✶ ──── 🀀 ──── ✶

the car ride was painfully silent, stormshadow hadn’t uttered a single word since he stepped in.

you took it as a sign that maybe he changed his mind, wanting to keep things more professional from now on.

when the car stopped, you picked up your heels and left without a word, heading back to your room.

“what do you think you’re doing?” stormshadow called out to you as he chased you down the hall.

“going to bed.” you said, not stopping.

“y/n, wait.” he jogged up to you, stopling you in your tracks just before you could enter your room.

“what are you doing?” it was your turn to ask now. he shook his head as a smile appeared on his face once more.

“is something wrong?”

“yeah, what’s wrong is you acting all sweet and nice to me since we met but right after dinner you’re like a whole new person!” you almost shouted, throwing your hand up in the air in defeat. “do you want to be professional? we can ditch the whole first name basis then and-”

“no.”

“w-what?”

“i didn’t like seeing the baron touch you like that.” stormshadow admitted, looking away embarrassed.

“but i’m okay, i got away.” you said softly, cupping his face to face you.

“i’ll kill him if he ever touches you again.”

your eyes widened, surely he didn’t mean it.

“you shoulder get some rest.” you told him, taking it as a joke. you brushed the now messy strays hairs away from his eyes. “thank you.”

you slowly leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek before you entered your room.

stormshadow laid awake that night, his mind replaying how the baron had touched your delicate skin. he wanted to be the only one that had gotten close enough to do that.

that night, he made a silent promise to himself that from then on, no one would even come close to touching you unless it was him. he would eliminate anyone that got in his way.

✶ ──── 🀀 ──── ✶

a while later, he had been assigned once again to accompany you to yet another date with the baron.

he was thrilled to be able to see you again, but the thought of you spending time with someone else while he sat there watching helplessly angered him.

the entire time as you were there with the baron, he sulked in a corner, eyes practically shooting daggers into the man that sat across you.

but things took a turn as you followed the baron back to his place.

to you, it was merely so you could gain access to his house, studying the layout and figuring out where he could possibly have kept the secret codes.

but to stormshadow, you were in danger. he knew what men like the baron could do to a pretty woman like you and he was going to do everything he could to prevent it.

“come, let’s go to my bedroom.” the baron said as he took your hand, leading you.

as the two of you got to his room, he started being more touchy with you. his hands wandered from your arm to your waist and to the back of your dress.

but before anything else could happen, he stopped. you cocked your eyebrow as his face suddenly contorted in pain, his mouth agape as he let out a silent cry for help.

then, he had fallen onto the floor at your feet. that’s when you saw it. a knofe was sticking out from his back, blood pooling and seeping into the million dollar carpet.

then, stormshadow came out from hiding, stepping out into the light.

“jesus! did you do that?!” you cursed, seeing the now dead baron at the foot of his own bed.

“i told you i’d kill him if he touched you again.”

you looked up at him in shock, he wasn’t joking.

before you could comprehend the situation, stormshadow grabbed your neck, pulling you flush against him as his lips found yours.

you easily melted right into the kiss, deepening it as he let out a low groan.

the kiss was messy, with teeth and tongue as both your mouths fought for dominace. but before you could’ve taken it further, there was a knock on the bedroom door.

“sir? is everything alright?”

shit.

✶ ──── 🀀 ──── ✶

( g.i. joe: rise of cobra - 2009)

[eeboyysworld]

Genre: smut

Storm shadow X Male!reader

Contains/Warnings: corruption kink , public sex , cream pies, anal sex , coming untouched, uniform kink. Vry short❕

‘This suit is uncomfortable..’ sighing, rolling your neck, satisfied as you crack it.Papers scattered across the desk, pens and pencil out of ink and dull to the tip.

Rubbing the sleep out your eyes, fixing posture, ready to tap away as the computer screen shined along your face.

Few minutes in, close to finish this report your superior needed, a hand slapped your back, flinching, preparing for the worst as you swing the chair backwards, ready to catch whoever was messing with you.

“Relax.. it’s just me!” Sizing the man you called your boyfriend , who was nested in a bright white suit , new scratches littering his face, grin plastered on his mouth.

‘Looking handsome.’ you didn’t admit that out loud , instead ,standing up and questioning him. “ Shouldn’t you be working?” No response. With all the stress you were put under and having no way to release it from the amount of paper work you had, it ticked you off that he didn’t say anything.

Turning around , ready to throw fury for no reasons, you were met with the other’s face, inches away from yours. “Your ass looks great in those pants.” Wow.

Barely pressing his lips against yours, whispering into you, “ I need you right now..” gripping your hand, slowly bringing it down to his closed crotch, feeling his hard on. “ Look what you do to me baby..” quiet groans left his mouth, forcing your hand to grope onto him.

“It’s only right you help me fix it.” Unsure, as you guys were in a very public place, biting down your lip, face flushed from his eyes lingering on you. “I-i.. there’s p-people here!” Your own eyes flickering across the room to watch out for anyone who may walk in.

A forceful hand gripped your jaw , making you look into the other’s eyes.” People won’t come in-“ the warmth of his hands left momentarily before they were on you again , switching from your jaw to your thighs, pushing you on-top the cluttered desk.

“If they do.. I might let them watch..” shaking your head rapidly, shame filling you up, “I’ll make you feel good.. you know that right?” It wasn’t a question, at the end of the day you were a mess under the man as he loved every inch of your body.

Nodding, nuzzling into the crook of his neck.His hands rubbing down your back, “Words, please?”

As soon as the words left your mouth, you found yourself on your stomach, feet on the ground , pants messily pooled around your ankles. No prep, no nothing, the man leaving marks on your neck , murmuring ‘sorry,’ ‘he couldn’t wait to be inside you’

The stretch hurt, the pain as soon as it was there was gone, the burning sensation brought tears to your eyes. But it felt so good.

Setting a Brutal pace, this is what you get for dating a ninja. Hands searching for anything to hold on to, arching for more access , pleads spilling out your lips.

Hitting the right spot , the ache between your legs bobbing up and down from impact.

Biting down your hand , muffling any noise escaping you, leaving teeth marks behind, worried that anyone could see you two.

A slap bounced off the walls, the rough hand hitting back and forth, red imprints left behind , “f-fuck!”

Sweat dripped down your temple, extra hot as your dress shirt was still on, barely hanging on a thread. Hips rocking into you, dick leaking beneath you , tip a soft hue of red as it was left unattended.

“That suit , l..looked so good on you,” finding your hips bringing you up and down,” hugged all your curves.”

Whimpering, his heat twitching inside you, your own flopping around, it was enough to make you release onto your own desk.

No warning, only the mutters of nonsense leaving the other’s mouth , thrusts becoming sloppier, before liquid filled you to the brim, dripping down , the sound filled your ears as he slowly pulled out.

Pulling your pants back up, helping you stand up , knees wobbly, fixing your disheveled hair , kissing the tear stains away. “ You look so beautiful..” rolling your eyes,”You’re saying that after I’m fucked out?” Playfully pouting.

No response as his soft lips clashed into yours, tongues slipping past. Lasting for a minute before you pulled away , knowing you guys had work to attend and couldn’t get carried away again.

What your coworkers didn’t know , was that you guys were one freaky ass couple.

As you squirm in your seat.Not only the suit pants bugging you, cream spilling out your hole, left to stick to you. Reminding you off what happened not too long ago.

A/N: short but i wanna post something today 🤗

[znivlho]

Out of jealousy.

pairing : storm shadow x male reader

genre: smut to fluff

cw: NSFW 18+, rough sex, anal, oral, rimming, riding, blowjob, creampie

anon's request :

i wish to request please! I've been good crazy for Storm Shadow since the first G.I Joe movie and i quiet have this thought in my mind(i think it'll be quiet long, I'm sorry) so the Reader is one of student in Arashikage clan (most likely like Snake Eyes) him and Storm Shadow had a great relationship, they trained together, studied together, hang out together. The reader was a place for him to come back whenever he get upset or his jealousy toward Snake Eyes flaring.

Storm shadow developed liking for the reader while reader remain think of it as friendship(well, they were a children back then). So when the Hard Master died and Storm Shadow left, he felt betrayed, angry, in pain both from the grief for Hard Master and abandonment by Storm Shadow. But different from other, the reader don't believe the accusation that was thrown to his 'friend'.

Back to current time, the reunion of this two happened, and of course it's full of fight with Reader end up getting kidnapped by Storm Shadow. Other hostages was put in cells while reader was put in his private quarters by request of Storm Shadow himself because the liking he developed in his childhood seem turn to something more (cough obsession cough). So yeah, the confrontation happened and something snapped in him and Storm Shadow end up fucking him hard and rough. I thinking Storm Shadow the type that will leave mark in every spot and places on reader, outside and inside.

This is my request, I'm sorry if it's so long but i appreciate it a lot if you write it 🙏🏻🥲

~

i love this request so much that i had so many ideas on how to write it, thank you so so much anon, please accept this emoji ⭐️ as a gift and please use it if youll request again🙏

NSFW 18+, read at your own risk.

you suddenly woke up, blinking your eyes open as you stare at the ceiling with a dim light open. where are the others? why are you even laying down on a bed while the others fight? is it over?

many thoughts lingered to your mind as you looked around the room, but then you saw a familiar figure beside you, staring at you with those fierce eyes of his. those eyes who you missed to look at every single day since you were kids.

"storm..?"

you called out, seeing your childhood friend who wore an white shirt along with a short sitting on the floor beside you, but you can feel his eyes stare at your soul. you were frozen on the spot, he was now infront of you, the man who you waited in your whole entire life since he left.

"w-where have you been?? youre all grown up.."

you sat up as you asked worriedly about him, seeing him after many decades that you though he was dead. the last words turned into a whisper as you slowly reached your hand to his cheek.

"why did you left..?"

you spoke up, you have many questions in mind about him. but he kept quiet, suspiciously quiet while staring at you with those eyes of his that you cant explain what is it express.

"why are you with snake eyes?"

he finally spoke up, but not the question you expect. you cant explain to him, how you were with the man he hated so much since he show up just for him to be replaced and the hard master left him out like he never existed.

you were also caught by snake eyes. the more the latter has been hanging out with you the more you and storm became distant.

"i.."

you slowly pulled your hand away from his cheek, but he suddenly and swiftly pulled you closer to him that your faces almost touched.

"why?"

his grip around your wrist tighten, his eyes were fiercely staring straight into your soul. he wasnt like this before, he changed a lot.

you looked away, trying to look away from that stare that you thought it would gouge your eyes out if you kept looking at him.

well, thats a wrong move for you to make.

his hand went up to your chin as he agressively pulled you closer, his lips connected to yours hungrily that he craved it for a very long time. his hand pushed you down to the bed on your back agressively, pouring out all of his anger that he take up back then.

his tongue went straight into your mouth, exploring each corner and crevice he can feel inside. biting your bottom lips hardly until it bleeds, making you whine in pain. his teeth captured your tongue, biting it hard enough that it left a mark that was gushing out blood.

you were in pain but it felt too good. you cant understand why you cant stop what he was doing to you even though it hurts that you gave in. the more he kissed you hungrily and agressively, the more you got used to it and the more you became more desperate.

his hands roam around your body, ripping the fabric that was on his way to your skin. the both of his hands felt your body for the first time in many decades he wished he would touch, roaming around like it was looking for something.

your body was fit to his own hands, muscular yet so tiny beneath him. holding your waist with both of his massive hands make him feel so satisfied, he cant choose which part of your body was his favorite but instead he would pick all of it.

he leaned away but then he started attacking your neck like his life was depending on it, so desperate he had to mark every inch he touches with bite marks and hickeys. most bites were hard and deep that he made it slightly bleed on purpose, sucking it after till it was swollen then move to a next skin he would find. he wouldnt leave an inch without his mark and he didnt care if people sees it, he wants everyone to know.

meanwhile, you were a mess below him. whimpering and moaning at every action he made that made you feel pleasure, sweat dripping down along with strands of hair curled around your forehead. you never thought that you needed this, that it was that thing that made you feel pleasure for the first time.

he leaned away as he looked at you full with swollen marks and hickeys around your neck down to your collarbone and ended to your chest, your hair all messed up to the pillow as you look at him with those desperate eyes of yours made him turn on so much.

but he still not satisfied with the marks he made, and he would love to put more around your skin.

he leaned down to your chest, playing with your nipples that are desperate for touch, he sucked on it like a newborn who seeks for their mother's milk.

it was the sensitive part of your body, your voice betrays you as you let out questionable moans. even though he cant see your full face, he was satisfied with those sounds that went through his ear like music.

he bit down both of your nipples, making it both have the same mark as it pops up swollen up from his sucking. he went down to your lower torso, your fine toned body was perfect to him he cant stop marking at it.

he then suddenly leaned into your head again as he lifted you up, making you lie down on your stomach while his hard breathing was loud next to your ear.

"mh.. ive been waited for so long.. look what you did to me.."

he huskily whispered to your ear as he leaned his hips to your ass, making you feel how he was hard beneath the cloth he was wearing.

just by feeling it make you jolt by how long it was, how you felt it twitching in the fabric as it touches you.

"seeing you with snake eyes makes me dissapointed, and angry.."

he continued whispering while his hands do the job to pull away the pants youre wearing, his lips biting your ear till it was swollen.

"do you like that bastard?"

he asked as he gripped down tightly on your hair, making you throw back your head just for him to see.

you didnt answer, you cant even for a single word. you can sense he was mad angry inside unlike the emotions he was showing.

he scoffed after not hearing any response from you as you felt a tip aligned to your aching hole.

without any warning, he shoved inside his throbbing cock to you without any lube, any preperation, just straight filling your insides up.

you screamed at the sudden movement, the pain aching around you especially inside. he didnt even move yet but his tip was hitting your prostate.

he whispered to your ear once more as he started thrusting into you hardly and aggressively, hitting your spot every thrust as you felt your insides will tear apart when this continues.

"ill ask that later."

you cant hide your moans, it was getting loud from time to time and he really liked it. seeing you a mess down below him makes him satisfied.

he picked up his pace as you were reaching your climax, his hand held your throbbing cock, teasing its tip as he suddenly matched the pace betwwen his thrusts and his hand going up and down to your throbbing cock.

you cried out a moan as you came, him following not a long after. you catched your breath for a while, but he suddenly flipped ypu together so that hes below you.

he pushes you up to sit while his cock still inside you, making you whimper by the movement as his cum drips down from your aching hole.

"that was just a warmup, (name)."

he whispered to your ear as his hands gripped down to your hips as he raised you up from his cock, then suddenly slammed you down.

earning a loud moan from you, he then continues the agressive and hard pace for a long time..

not only did he cum twice, for 6 rounds he took you in.

{bonus}

after taking care of you, let you wore his fresh clothes, changed the sheets, let you drank water, he crawled in the bed to you as his head rested on your lap.

your hands quickly move to his cheek as you caressed it, moving away his hair that was blocking his face as you leaned on the headboard.

"you know, i-" "we'll talk about that tomorrow."

you cut him out as your eyes were closed as you continued to caress his cheek, only for him to fall asleep quickly.

[blade-liger-4ever]

I always thought Snake-Eyes was cool 😎

Dang Storm Shadow, I texpected you to have better balance!!

After the boat crashed the ninjas are thrown into shark infested water.  The next couple pages are the pinnacle of human achievement.  Of particular note:.

-Snake-Eyes rides and stabs a big shark

-Beach-Head calmly shoots up a bunch of sharks that are an arms length away

- Snake-Eyes rides and stabs a big shark

When I was a child there was nothing I liked more than sharks and G.I. Joes.  Needless to say, this is the greatest panel of all time.  

-G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero #47 (Hama and Whigham)

[daz-zey]

I love it when the actors and hopefully more Korean actresses speak in their language to everyone… mostly the people in Hollywood.

I really love it when Lee Byung Hun speaks both Korean and English. I hope he gets to speak English more. When I heard about him being bullied, I was like what do you guys mean??? He speaks English well, he just has an accent and needs to articulate his next thoughts in another language 😭😭 what the actual hell?

[infinilee]

STORM! SHADOW!

[blade-liger-4ever]

Both of the best ships are here. Awesome, dude!

More pics of Lady Jaye and Flint.

[blade-liger-4ever]

In accordance with @gritsandbrits’ permission, I now present to you...

G.I. JOE INCORRECT QUOTES!!!!

(Also, I censored the swears. Sorry, I don’t believe in using vulgarities to be funny.)

----

Steeler: What's worse than a heartbreak?

Spell-Lunky: Stepping on a cat's tail and not being able to explain that you're sorry.

----

Law, about Steeler: He’s speaking some kind of French.

Spell-Lunky: Let me handle it. I speak Spanish. It's the same thing.

----

Steeler: HEY HEY HEY! DON’T TOUCH THOSE!

Law, touching a figurine: Why? What’s wrong with touching a doll?

Steeler: THAT IS NOT A DOLL! This is a figurine, thank you very much.

Spell-Lunky, from afar: IT’S JUST A STIFF DOLL!

Law: FIGURINE MY BUTT! IT’S JUST A STIFF DOLL— as said!

Steeler: I hate all of you. That is a limited edition figurine I got from a conventio— Steeler: *Drops figurine on the ground*

Steeler: —n. It was $100; all my money just went down the drain.

----

Genevieve Colton: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

Duke: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks, I don't want to hear squat.

----

Duke: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

Genevieve Colton: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

Duke: ...

Duke: You mean ring bearER, right?

Genevieve Colton: ...

Duke: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

----

Genevieve Colton: Duke is playing hard to get.

Genevieve Colton: Little does he know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

----

Gung-Ho: What are you getting Siren Call for the holidays?

Tunnel Rat: I don't know. It's kind of hard buying a gift for your partner when they already got everything they could've ever wanted when they married you. So I'm not sure yet.

Nitelite: I'm getting Siren Call a divorce lawyer.

----

Nitelite: I'm so happy, I could kiss you!

Ripcord: Um...Neat.

*later*

Ripcord, lying face down on his bed: I said "Neat," Siren Call. Who says neat these days? It's not neat to say neat but I said it anyways because I'm stupid.

Siren Call, reading a book: Don't beat yourself up too much, Ripcord. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what I did when Tunnel Rat confessed his love for me?

Ripcord: Didn't you thank him?

Siren Call: *closes the book and looks at the ceiling* I stupidly thanked him.

----

Nitelite: How is the most beautiful person in the world?

Tunnel Rat: *blushing* I—

Gung-Ho, butting into the conversation: Siren Call is perfect, thanks for asking.

(I am now suddenly shipping Gung-Ho and Siren Call XD)

----

Storm Shadow: I think I'm falling for you.

Risa: Then get up.

----

Storm Shadow: Hey, Risa, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?

Risa: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.

Storm Shadow: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?

Risa: Can't really say I have.

Storm Shadow: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring sometimes.

Risa: Sorry, Storm Shadow. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.

(Man, this generator is savage...)

----

Risa: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Storm Shadow: I wrote you a poem.

Risa, already crying: You did?

----

Storm Shadow: I’ve been dropping her the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Risa: Wow. She sounds stupid.

Storm Shadow: But she’s not. She’s really smart actually. Just dense.

Risa: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”

Storm Shadow: I guess you’re right. Hey Risa, I love you.

Risa: See! Just say that!

Storm Shadow: Holy *Japanese swearing*.

Risa: If that flies over her head then, sorry Storm Shadow, but she's too dumb for you.

Storm Shadow: Risa.

----

(They use ASL for these next few)

Silent Knight: How high are you?

Snake Eyes: Mm, I don’t know how to say it in feet.

Spirit: No, she’s asking what drugs are you on.

Snake Eyes: Oh, antidepressants, why?

----

Snake Eyes: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.

Spirit: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.

Snake Eyes: Not when you’re playing with Silent Knight, it’s not. She puts in words like “ephemeral” and I put in “dog.”

----

Silent Knight: Which way did Snake Eyes go?

Spirit: Well, based on the direction of the wind, the broken sticks in the corner, and the slight disturbance in the dirt, I'd guess he went left.

Silent Knight: You could really figure it out from that?

Spirit: No, you idiot, Snake Eyes sent me a text. See?

----

Roadblock: Guys, Shawnee is missing.

Heavy Duty: Good.

----

*Casually in the Middle of a High Stakes/Dangerous Situation*

Heavy Duty: How do you eat pickles?

Roadblock: What do you mean?

Heavy Duty: I mean, there's a whole process. It's not like you can grab them from the jar with your hand, because it's cold and the juice burns if you have a cut, plus, it's pretty unsanitary. And you can't use a spoon because you'll have to scoop it out, and it'll be way too difficult to grab more than three or four without taking 10 minutes along with half the brine in the jar, even if it's one with holes.

Roadblock: Yeah, that's why you use a fork.

Heavy Duty: Okay, sure, but what if you don't have one of the big ones clean? It's weird to use a small one. But there is always one of those smaller sharp knives clean.

Roadblock: But the straight edge doesn't really fit the cylindrical shape, and you have to make sure you don' t break it, it's too much work.

Heavy Duty: It makes me feel like I deserve the pickles though. Like, "Yeah, I did it. That's right. Good job me." It's empowering. But even after that, it's not like you can use a bowl.

Roadblock: I get that, it's not ascetically pleasing.

Heavy Duty: Exactly! And it looks weird if you don't entirely fill the bowl, but you also can't eat that many. My solution: Use a mug.

Roadblock: *Nods in agreement*

Shawnee: That is all very interesting, BUT WE'RE TRYING NOT TO DIE RIGHT NOW! USE YOUR LIMITED ATTENTION SPANS AND FOCUS!

Heavy Duty: Sheesh, okay.

Roadblock: Quit yelling at us already.

----

Store Worker: Would a “Heavy Duty” please come to the front desk?

Heavy Duty, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker, pointing to Shawnee and Roadblock: I believe they belong to you?

Shawnee and Roadblock, simultaneously: We got lost.

Heavy Duty: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me—

----

And that’s all for now! We’ll see what I can scrounge up - another day!

[sloaneispunk]

“the calm before the storm”

stormshadow (lee byung hun) x you

stormshadow had been hired by cobra commander to retrieve the warheads from the gi joes. but they failed to inform him that he had to work with a partner… someone he had grown very fond of

༒ ──── 𖣘 ──── ༒︎

“stormshadow, this is y/n. you will be working together to retrieve the warheads.” the commander said, leaving you and him both in shock as he walked off.

“i’m sorry, i wasn’t told i was working with anyone.” you said, breaking the silence.

“me neither.” he replied, “that’s alright, ms y/n? i presume?”

he extended his hand out as he the other slipped his sword back into its sleeve, not wanting to scare you away.

“yeah, stormshadow right? i’ve heard stories about you.”

he nodded, bringing your hand up to his lips as he placed a gentle kiss on it.

“i’m honored.” he smiled.

“c’mon, people! planes taking off!” the pilot announced, making stormshadow take your hand, bringing you to the private jet.

once you were on the jet, you took your seats, stormshadow sitting right beside you.

“so is it true?” you blurted out before you could stop yourself.

“what is?” he cocked an eyebrow.

“you have those little star throwing thingies.” you tried to hold back your laughter, making him roll his eyes playfully.

he pulled something out of his pocket, holding it up with two fingers as your mouth dropped.

“it’s beautiful!” you gasped, admiring the shuriken.

stormshadow watched with pride as you were in awe of his weapon, it was so easy to get your attention, he loved it.

for the rest of the flight, he showed you one by one each weapon he had in him, even giving you one of his shuriken as a gift.

༒ ──── 𖣘 ──── ༒︎

when you landed, the two of you headed straight to the location the g.i. joe’s were camping at.

sneaking into the facility was easy, but for stormshadow he was having a hard time, he couldn’t for the life of him focus. maybe it was the similar white suit you had on that perfectly hugged your body, showing off your curves. or the fact that he was supposed to be doing a mission with the best girl he had ever met.

in-and-out. easy.

naturally, the joe’s had caught on quickly, causing the entire mission to take a dangerous toll. stormshadow was a professional, he knew what he needed to do, and most of the time, he did it all for the money.

little did he expect himself to actually enjoy this particular mission. he stole glances from you whenever he could, making sure you were okay.

when you had gotten your hands on the breifcase of warheads, he guided you every step of the way as the two of you escaped.

however, there was a complication just as you could step out of the facility. the guard must have been hiding, because stormshadow had almost ran right into his arms.

you thought quickly, taking the shuriken he had given you and tossing it right into the guards abdomen, causing him to fold over, lesring your path.

stormshadow halted, making you crash into him.

“where did that come from?!” he asked frantically as he looked around.

“what? what?! that was me!”

“you?!”

“yea! how could you not have seen him! he was practically hiding in plain sight!”

“we’ll settle this later, we gotta get out of here.” he lightly scolded, grabbing your arm as you took off.

༒ ──── 𖣘 ──── ༒︎

when you got back to cobra base, you were greeted at the front gate by the head commander.

“ah, y/n! i knew i could count on you!” he said, pulling you into a hug as his hand got dangerously low behind your back.

stormshadow didn’t leave his action unnoticed.

“well, i had help.” you awkwardly chuckled as you pulled away.

after some small talk, you retreated back to your room, throwing yourself onto the bed as you let out a sigh of relief.

“if he touches you again, i will kill him.”

you jerked up from the bed, letting out a loud scream as you grabbed your gun, aiming it at the voice.

“whoa, whoa.” it was stormshadow. he stepped into the light, making you throw your gun aside.

“jesus… you scared me.” you chuckled, hand on your chest as you sat back down.

“i thought you were a professional?” he teased, stepping in front of you.

“and by the way, you don’t have to kill him, everything’s fine. he’s just touchy.” you shook your head.

“we’ll see if he dares to lay a hand on you again.” stormshadow replied. “you know, that was some impressive skills back there, you saved me… i feel like i should owe you something.”

you grinned. “it was an easy throw, you’re just getting soft on me.”

“maybe.” he whispered, staring deep into your eyes. “i can’t focus with you here…” he admitted.

“that’s too bad.” you told him. “maybe you should find another job.”

“i don’t think i want to.”

you were now inches away from each other, you could feel his breath panning on your skin, his eyes still never leaving yours.

before you could stand a chance to seal the deal, the door flew open.

“who’s ready for another mission?”

༒ ──── 𖣘 ──── ༒︎

i’m not kidding when i say i’ve watched 3 movies that lee byung hun had starred in in the past 24hours. i am losing my mind.

the movie this is based on is g.i. joe, go watch!

[blade-liger-4ever]

Awesome!

Sword Brothers

[magnetic-maverick]

😍😍😍😍😍

[yatzstar]

I know you didn't work with that in a while but do you have any G. I. Joe headcanons? I'm curious.

I'm assuming you know exactly who my headcanons will be about, judging by what I have on my blog lol. I know it's been a little while, but I'm still working on another story, albeit slower because I have other projects going on as well. However, I do have many little Snakescar headcanons that I haven't put into a story (yet) and I'm glad for the chance to throw them out there! (Side note these are all based on Renegades)

The first time they met, Scarlett held Snake Eyes at gunpoint because she thought he was Cobra. It left quite an impression lol

Scarlett can handle spicy food better than Snake can.

If Duke were ever to find out what Snake looks like, I think his mind would be blown a little bit that the ninja looks like him (blonde hair, blue eyes).

If Snake could talk, he would talk at 500 miles an hour because Japanese is the fastest language in the world and that would carry over to his English as well. He signs fast instead, and sometimes Scarlett can't keep up.

Scarlett made him learn sign language. He didn't want to at first, but he caved as he grew more attached.

Snake has very calligraphy-styled handwriting.

Snake is good at cooking. Once he warmed up to the others, he and Roadblock might trade recipes.

Scarlett, who is very tech-savvy, is physically pained when Snake leaves a thousand tabs open.

Scarlett sometimes sings to herself while she's working, and Snake likes to listen, to her mortification.

Snake primarily gives Scarlett weapons as gifts (some of which he fashioned himself).

She hunts down genuine Japanese food to give him.

In a future where they are on better terms, Jinx would tell Scarlett embarrassing stories about Snake Eyes. He insists she's exaggerating. Storm Shadow would back her up.

In that same vein, there is a long standing semi-serious promise between Snake and Scarlett about going to Japan one day. When they finally do, it's to get married.

Storm Shadow would begrudgingly accept being a brother-in-law to Scarlett. He acknowledges he royally screwed up Snake's life, and she accepts Snake with his scars and makes him happy.

That's all I can think of off the top of my head, though this got pretty long regardless! Hopefully you weren't expecting more widespread headcanons over the Joe roster because these two are my major brainrot fr

[ree-duh]

Repressed Asian representation my beloved

[fuckyeahesadribic]

Snake Eyes vs Storm Shadow commission by Esad Ribic