#ghoul fuckers you people are barely even monster fuckers

[thewitchqueen281]

I know a lot of people liked the show but also a lot of people liked fallout 4 so idk if any of you mfs can be trusted

[giggle-shade]

I wanted to drag out watching the Fallout series a little longer but I had a day off and binged the last 5 episodes I had. 😭 I cried to out to the screen when it ended and my fiance was like *yes sugar I'm sorry it's over for now* (He knew why I was sad. Because I couldn't see Coop anymore 🤣)

I'm glad he supports my obsessions and Fandoms and my monster fucker tendencies and the MASSIVE lady boners I get for fictional characters. Especially the ones with serious skin conditions that most people would *audible vomit noises* over. I mean, he gets to reap those benefits anyways.

Thankfully I know I'm not alone in my love for The Ghoul 🥰🥰

Speaking of The Ghoul 🥵

What I wouldn't give for him to smirk at me like that🫠

I'm going to make a hell of a serious attempt to write some smutty fic about this mean old man soon. Especially since it's been.. a few years now since a character has hit me like a train like our good ol' cowboy here has.

But it's funny really. No one expected less of me when he first appeared on screen. Especially not my fiance, he knew what was coming. I'd seen most people making posts about Coop with this one in hand ⬇️

But I knew better, the moment he first spoke and his accent hit my ears and his face was barely illuminated before me..

And no one was shocked. I've even received a few messages from friends already. "Have you watched the fallout series yet?" Why yes I just finished it why do you a.. *sends me gifs of Coop being Coop* again, NO ONE was surprised. I come from a tight friend group who has known me for so long, thick and thin of me bouncing from character to character. Monster to monster. Loving them all. And not being ashamed to say I'd let them fuck me into oblivion.

But yes the very moment he appeared on screen I knew what was coming from within myself. My fiance paused the show and I'm patiently, quietly sitting there

And he just cocks his head, glances at me and chuckles.. my face goes red hot.. "WHAT?! CAN I HELP YOU?" I shouted, staring at him angrily for pausing it. And he just... laughs at me. "You think he's hot, don't you?" "YES OF COURSE I DO. CAN WE MOVE ALONG PLEASE?!" chuckling at me again

Yuck it up chucklefuck and buckle up to. Because I've gone feral and you're going to have to deal with it. 🥰

[boxheadpaint]

Nonsense to remove later (It is me being incredibly mean about things that literally DO NOT matter). Pardon me for going absolutely off the wall with whatever the fuck this is, sorry

Man cause i dont want to go ape again part two its on a public blog this time, But even with the term monster its just like... obviously i dont even really like the term but with a lack of anything anymore positive might as well go with the one thats been softened to the point of whatever in ye moderne times.

A cartoony monster, a ghoul, a shifting mass, some kinda shuffling mass, those are all cute. Those are all fine to me. Those are all what i feel drawn to. And i hate to say something like things that are “Out Of The Norm” because that sucks! Things unfamiliar, maybe?? Fuck if i know

But i sincerely hate how “monster fucker” has become a thing as in like... like thats just a dude. Thats just a normalass mermaid with a regular “””conventionally attractive””” top half (yet another term i fucking hate with a Passion but again have NO better descriptor for). Or that’s just a dude with a little more hair on him, or straight up just a wolf furry. Or just a dude you can slap a label on like *normalass muscle dude with tiny fangs* This is a vampire :-) God and i hate having to say “normal” too. Like what the fuck. maybe the term is more like, things “accepted” as normal

I hate “monster fucker” for a lot of reasons, one of them is that its just. kind of annoying and grating, but i guess one of the most important is that its like... most of the people who even apply the term to themselves are just like ?? barely going in with it. nothing out of the comfort zone, keeping it to Oh these are monsters sexy lol *picture of a dude that youd see on one of those amazon monster romance novels* . like if you get what im saying

and i dont want to put any particular person on blast by accident, but i wont have this post up for long anyway . just like

is this really what you would consider monsters. and i mean monster in the endearing way, which doesnt fucking exist because of course it doesnt. but you know what i mean. actual monsters and not just.... what, accepted “conventionally attractive” skinny people that are maybe just like... green or something.

im already letting this bullshit post get way out of hand but im still going i guess! because then there is like, oh, Conventionally attractive, or Normal, or FUcking whatever. I hate that shit. i hate saying those things and i hate using the word monster for so much of this. maybe theres something stupid i could say like Oh well features that are accepted by society to be “abnormal” are applied to monsters, and when youre someone with those kinds of features or anything you find yourself drawn to them. and then when the accepted “normal” features are suddenly being applied to what you seek of course youre going to be frustrated. But idk that sounds kind of .... overly simplified to me, i suppose

i love monsters. i hate calling it that. I hate calling myself that. i hate having nothing easier to say. and i Hate that people think that this is what “monster” means, in the loving and beautiful sense. these arent monsters. These are just the same thing i see every goddamn day

but im guessing if i want to find what im actually looking for, i have to turn to horror. and i do love horror, but....... man. you already know what i want to say, and hundreds of people have said it before me. Im running out of steam and i have to take a bath now, desperately

What’s supposed to make a “monster” a Monster? why have we assigned so many normal things as “strange” and “monstrous” features? why is it that when the romanticization of “monsters” becomes more known, theyre made palatable for the people that called these things monstrous to begin with?

i dont know. i think im basically talking out of my ass. I enjoy beautiful ghouls and beautiful people. It’s the same thing. you ever been to chilis

also adding this in really quick, again, i have no idea what im doing. this is in no way a personal attack on the people who designed stuff like the monster game above, im just very tired

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 4X19 Jump the Shark

Oh hey is this the illegitimate brother plotline

boy I love me some sweet sweet ANGST

whelp she's fucking dead

picture of JOHN?

Sam's peacefully brushing his teeth and Dean's Not a Morning Person

boy he's having a bad morning

to be fair, living out of the car is kinda not fun either

"I'm his son" Dean: I'm gonna fUCKING KIL-

he's..premed?

they're going to ruin his life too aren't they, Aren't The-

Dean is taking this really well

I mean he did get the brunt of John's Issues, so I get it, yike

ASDFPIHP them discussing their dad's ~sex life~ is very funny though

Dean was...preteen? when this kid was born? Sam was under ten definitely

Dean Please

No that's your Actual Brother guys PLEASE

hunting accident "ah fair enough"

"who is a nuclear family these days" FEELS SO LOADED

Dean...Dean please don't fUCKING KILL HIM DEAN

THE IMPALA NOOO

"he took you to a baseball game" IDSFHAPF

He's Trying not to CRY OH MY GOD NO WAIT

Sam resonates with the away from college thing oh NO

Dean is trying SO HARD not to snap

at least he's...trying..to keep adam out

corpse snatching => HEY LOOK IT's THE BONE STEALING WIT-

I think I need to stop being online jesus christ

the [both sigh] was so good

well...that's a lot of blood

How the hell do you break it to your illegitimate brother that you're ~technically Wanted by the FBI

at least he's not an idiot

HE'S SO MUCH YOUNGER THAN THEY ARE

I mean obligatory dead mom

"do i get a say in this?" "NO!"

no..no SAM DEAN HAS A POINT

Middle sibling + younger sibling gang up on elder

"have u thought about eternity" "bro i've literally been to hell Idk what to tell u"

Dean doing it solo but Sad is...:(

Oh he worked the old case, that's neat

"so it's over for you" welllllll

OO THE TRUCK SHOT WAS COOL

dean + long dark coat truthing tonight HE LOOKS G O O D

it wants revenge

YOU FUCKERS AND YOUR REVENGE BELA WAS R I G H T

and Adam Instantly wants revenge, you sir are definitely a Winchester

"it's life" WELL IT SHOULDn'T BE

the stupid isolationism I hate it

NO GO CONNECT WITH PEOPLE KRIPKE WHY

Sam's becoming his dad, and Dean isn't

...SAM WHAT THE FUCK

DAD MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT DO RIGHT BY YOU

HIS GODDAMN GRIEF SPIRAL GOT BOTH OF YOU

LET HIM BE NORMAL! HAPPY! IT IS TOO LATE FOR YOU RIGHT NOW(NOT ALWAYS)(Also very close to the thing with zachariah in placement(eye emojis) BUT LEAVE HIM ALONE!

I do appreciate Dean Eldest Sibling'ed it up even if he didn't like the kid/was jealous. Goddammit I wish we got connection in this stupid show

I was expecting a jump scare but somehow the squish is worse

sOn oF aBitcH

Ah FUCK NOT ADAM TOO

I do like the little angel Icon though, that's what's Dean's way out

Ghouls is a racist term?what????

no john winchester was 100% a monster

ah it was their father

yada yada father killing circle idk

YAY! DEAN'S INGENUITY IS BACK!

Ghoul!mom is really really good. I liked Scared Adam better though

the slicing sam scene is BRUTAL jesus christ

So...John got his own son killed in the end...

SERIOUSLY HE WAS TERRIBLE

Dean JESUS CHRIST

awww caring Dean is nice

AWW HUNTER'S FUNERAL

"Adam's in a better place" :(

Dean tried to fit himself into the Dad box, Sam's actually him

"you take it any way you want" oh for FUC- HE- I-

he looked so Sad, so like...he's stopped idolizing him

jesus christ.

boy there's gonna be overlap ok here we go.

1. poor dean. Ok couple things: 1) he elder sibling'ed it SO HARd! he didn't even like Adam, but he still tried to keep him safe(I think). he gave him a hunter's funeral! I just. It was nice to see. It was also INCREDIBLY painful to hear the realization of "you were always like dad, I never could be" and the fact that he didn't even see it as a good thing anymore? fUCK man, that huRT me. Dean tried so hard to be something he wasn't, he got probably the brunt of the abuse(because he didn't measure up to that metric like Sam always would), and in the end all it got him was...just. so much pain. Like it felt like John left his Broken children behind to get a new one, and just turned them into his quest for revenge. It was SO So fucked

Hey actually speaking of

2. AM I SUPPOSED TO LIKE BEING A HUNTER/JOHN? WHAT HTE FUCK?

YALL ALREADY MARTYRED HIM BUT UR MAKING HIM WORSE?

LIKE ok listen. John's kinda set up as the ideal of hunting. They martyred him! And I was halfway sold provided they didn't mention him again. Then! he did this thing where he abandoned his kids, seeing them only as tools to fulfill his quest for revenge, literally broke them(that too late thing+zachariah saying "it's in your blood" when really it was just trained from a young age), got a NEW family he treated a lot better. I just. I have...NO idea how I'm supposed to see him as a good guy here. Maybe I just kin Dean, or his plight is WAY more sympathetic(it is, Sam is kinda pissing me off), but John's just...coming off worse and worse and they KEEP doing it!

Also! this whole cycle of revenge thing! about how if you keep taking an eye for an eye, everyone ends up blind! they barely escaped this time, and I think this was the second revenge plot that I can think of with MONSTERS alone! it was a BIG theme! Like!! hunting sucks! revenge makes you end up in worse places! it's like this one episode was made to show how SHIT hunting was!

wait who wrote this

Dabb+lofflin. The hunting sucks always comes from-

this GODDAMN INCONSISTE-

3. Fuck John Winchester

4. Individualism. Ok this is a big one. Alongside the whole revenge plot thing(which is BIG, and a hunting sucks), this one drove home the sheer individuality of hunting. But while some of the writers see that as Badass, this one made it seem lonely, and painful. Like the flip side to American Individualism is American Chronic Loneliness. I know this one was used to process the ennui of the post recession/post 9/11 time, and it's doing very well for that, but it kinda ends up like this show is EVERYONE'S therapy all at once! the gang's all here! and we're gonna traumatize you in the process as well.

EDIT: and yeah yeah yada yada american individualism is King and then so is it’s accompanying loneliness in the post 9/11 post war in iraq post recession world(we were not having fun in 08/09)

and I get that this show is the writer’s therapy and whatever

(I just thing this is phrased better)

5. bring him back. Connect! Look. I know it breaks the core ethos of this episode. But having Weird Esoteric Hunter siblings would have been SO FUNNY!

give me more sibling content! Sam+Adam teaming up against the Eldest Sibling Dean WAS SO FUNNY! I WANT MORE OF THAT

6. SAM WHAT THE FU-. Look. I hate John. I very much hate John. They set up the Sam/Dean dichotomy in regards to John first episode, and Sam acting more like an ass+like his dad is. Not making me like him. Also I feel like this was written to sympathize with Dean. Which makes the finale even more ironic, I feel.

7. Listen. Listen. One of you has to keep track of continuity. Like I know this becomes a WAY bigger problem later in the series, but if a certain writer wants to process/examine a certain part of the Life/Story(and they should, they set up a lot of interesting stuff), they have to keep track! Because then the show becomes everything all at once.

Like this show has ALREADY started feeling like fanfic of itself, where it just kinda does whatever it wants with its own concepts. And the concepts are GREAT! but you can TELL how inconsistent it is, even in the kripke era

like it ends up being Study of X, Riff on X! and I think that's where the inconsistency comes from. It's also why it's so fucking Excellent in places.

whelp this was a lot holy hell.

OH AND ONE MORE THING!

Bela didn't fit the narrative. That's why they didn't like her. I said at the beginning that an Int'l art thief does NOT fit the vibe of "grungy Angsty American Midwestern gothic" and I was right. With the lucifer story and the vibe she didn't fit, and so they just killed her as foreshadowing, and only used her like that. God I wish they'd riffed on her, especially because her callouts were all completely correct

we're Bela Salting again

listen she was preppy Jack Sparrow with some spiritualism, how dare you tell me not to like her.

[sugar-petals]

:: BTS ◇ Being Their Werewolf Girlfriend

NOTE › @.btsxdoll​ reblogged a ‘where are the female werewolves in fantasy?’ post which inspired this. enjoy ♡

↳ warnings 🌙 dom/sub, smut, angst, marking, dash of humor

[ jimin ] ➝ He definitely knows that catchy Shakira song, even the Spanish version. But what a real she-wolf roaming his garden at 3 AM ends up being like will blow his mochi mind. Oh yes. It really is a whole new world. And holy shit, you are one hell of a gnarling beast on that lawn. Jimin will be honest with you: If he could, he’d probably brag on twitter all day that you have gigantic claws. That he’s allowed to touch them when you aren’t particularly wilding out somewhere in the local forest scratching pine trees or off to hang out with a fifteen-member, cigarette-smoking ghoul gang. 

But since it’s classified who you are, no tweets allowed. Sadly, he can’t meet the cool ghouls either. For obvious reasons though, he’d be too tasty a dinner, and he understands that you want to protect him. It’s already hard on you to have a kind of parallel life far from your control. Something so covert, scary, and taboo. Mingling with dangerous cemetary creatures for a night, only to return to a completely normal life. As if nothing happened! But cordial Jimin reassures you. Doesn’t make a hidden werewolf identity make someone the most interesting person ever? He couldn’t be a better boyfriend.  

[ taehyung ] ➝ It’s no secret that sweet Tae loves everything fluffy. The boy can’t lie, he likes your fur and muzzle. Every time you transform, he even keeps a diary entry on it. Keenly documenting everything he observes from characteristics to variations of behavior depending on the environment. You really could say he’s a werewolf biologist. He even discovers that if you eat red cabbage the with the moon waning, the transformation happens a lot faster than usual. Seriously, who could be better at dealing with any canine activity — large-scale, small-scale — than dog lover Taehyung. 

What he’s scared of and prevents a lot of cuddles are your, um, well. Huge dripping fangs and a bite force of five-hundred pounds per square inch to back it up. He has a reason to be careful. However, you’d rather devour some random suburb animals even in your worst of moods. Yeontan excluded. He likes you. It’s fun communicating with him. The world is interesting through werewolf eyes, but since it’s only for one night or two, Yeontan’s perspective is even more interesting since his form is permanent. Rascal sure knows a lot of gossip that would otherwise have never seen the light of day. 

[ jin ] ➝ Now, let’s set the record straight. If there’s one man on the face of this sordid planet who loves sizzling danger? It’s Worldwide Fearless on duty. Jin is the chosen one to have as a designated boyfriend. All his life he dreamed of eerie thrills like that, and it became true. Fate! The first night you were shocked to see your ears grow all fuzzy out of literal nowhere, but Jin knew he made the right dating choice. Your final form has the guy all fired up. He desperately wants to be bitten, growled at, paw-slapped, tossed around, walked on (!), licked head to toe. Long story short, he’s your #1 biggest were-fan.

But at the end of the day, no sexual feelings and acts involved. You’ve talked about that at length. To him, such conversations are normal, but which other couple ever talks about something as touchy. Jin would totally be a monster fucker if you weren’t completely beside yourself after transformation. So there is surely be no guarantee of what could happen. Especially with you being a very hungry lycanthrope raiding the basement. Which he neatly stocks up three days before the big event, and you can feast on it instead of turning this whole party into a literal “EatJin”. God forbid, you’d rather walk on him.

[ yoongi ] ➝ As cool as a cucumber. His mother raised a level-headed boy. When the moon is out there taking its monthly liberty to go off I guess, he sits on the porch with his phone’s lunar calendar and Rolex out, only waiting for shit to go down. Yes, he’s mastered all predictive methods. Sweet technology has made it easy for him. You always joke how Yoongi might as well open a ‘Were-Watching’ tourism business if the world were just a bit more open-minded and capitalism an ethical thing. Anyways. In the meantime, you’re busy hulking out in the cornfields and howling like there’s no tomorrow. 

Usually coming back for breakfast, hornier than the local elks in heat. Still with all rabid instincts half active, ready to pounce on what smells so good lying in your bed without pajamas on. Yoongi thinks he’s just one lucky dude not just getting all marked up, but occasionally salivated on when he’s waking up. Normally, sex would end up casual, but post-transformation banging is guaranteed to be energetic and sweaty beyond what he believed was possible. Which guy has his girlfriend plant herself on top of him baring her teeth like, well yeah, a fucking wolf? And he thought life would be endlessly boring.  

[ hoseok ] ➝ When you first approach him with your secret five months into the relationship, he thinks that you want to act out some hybrid fanfiction or roleplay. You say no Hoseok, I really am, y’know, huge and a dangerous ball of fur once in a while. But to no avail. To him, out of sight, out of mind. The oddly not-like-you-but-actually-you-shaped footprints around the garage don’t convince him. Hell, even the two-day ‘mountain vacation’ you take every four weeks doesn’t make Hoseok question that something very wolfy could be going on. “A wolf? Just drop by then!” he says, all nonchalant. 

So it takes the big wolf lady to knock on his window to prove that she’s not kidding and this is what he signed up for. He will take a while to digest things, reconsider his priorities. Is he prey, is he not? Tongue-in-cheek, you assure him that you only munch on the super built hikers who throw their trash into nature. You surely wouldn’t feel saturated eating a skinny guy. That does help Hoseok feel off limits in an unexpected way. There’s still much to get used to, but his chef talent can deal with your strong appetite surging every once in a while and he helps to remove the footprints so the neighbors don’t worry.

[ namjoon ] ➝ It’s like Fox Mulder seeing actual aliens land on earth. Hardly surprised. “Knew it!” is the final verdict when you confess to RM what’s going on. After some lightheaded pre-full-moon feelings make you rip up a sofa pillow at night. Entirely in a daze and pretty much close to howling already. Namjoon quickly understands the scope of peril and eventually opts for sleeping at Jimin’s if it gets a little too animalistic. Other than that, he’s well-informed. He might as well read ‘Mystic Creatures of Moderity′ in his favorite chair while you’re busy gnawing on a raw steak locking yourself in the kitchen.

Namjoon is happy to have something weird going on in his life to shake things up. It feels like a movie to him. Arguably, to others, it would be bizarre and both of you have to hide everything properly. Blasting funky disco music during your noisier transformations and such. Or pretending you’re a very well-crafted 3D robot Halloween costume which people do buy into. But some paranormal stuff happening in his backyard once a month? A whole lot of shed grey hair clogging the shower the day after transforming? Who gives a fuck, it’s just Joon’s girlfriend having a jolly good time. X-Files case closed. 

[ jungkook ] ➝ Admittedly... a bit obsessed. With seeing your full eight feet tall incarnation, doing some unhinged shit out in the woods. That’s sexy. But JK is also caring — you’re hypersensitive to anything silver and most other human interference, after all. Sure, his scent has been up close for a long enough time not to trigger you anymore, even in your full wolven form. But there are still risks involved. The angel promises to stay by your side regardless. And indeed: He’s gonna camp in a raised blind with binoculars to watch over you in the forest moonlight. No zookeeper will get their hands on you, promised. 

Jungkook really admires you in every aspect. No judgment. The animal enthusiast in him just can’t help it. Wolves in and of themselves are a huge interest to him, now he gets to know that you can grow paws, a tail and all that, the full package? Wow. He will never not be stunned. Jungkook wants to know everything about your kind. What you eat, how your heightened senses work, how you navigate your territory, what you feel. He also loves the thrill of adrenaline because boy do you go apeshit in the first couple hours of moonlight exposure. JK is a positive type of overwhelmed. The guy’s in love.

© 2017-2019 submissive-bangtan. All rights reserved. Do not repost, translate, or modify.

[antiquechampagne]

Chapter 10

Payne worked with Daisy in her free moments. She found it encouraging to have someone working with her, especially in moments when she lost faith that what they were doing was going to work. Eventually, they even conscripted Irma into their ranks once she caught wind of what their scheme.

“This is never going to work.” Payne looked at herself in the cracked mirror. It was fitting that they were back stage at the Memory Den, given how big of a flop this was going to be. “He’s going to think I am making fun of him.” Payne stared down at her slinky black dress. She felt like a fool.

“You just have a touch of stage fright, love.” Cooed Irma. Daisy was sewing the last few stitches into the ruffled while collar that framed the plunging neck line.

Thank God this party is at night Payne thought to herself. Not only was the neckline revealing, but a lot of her arms and legs were exposed.

“Sit down, we need to get your makeup on before the veil.” Apparently Irma and Daisy had differing opinions on what would be the right kind of makeup, as they bickered and fussed over every inch of Payne’s face. Payne wondered why it was such a big deal… most of it would be hidden anyway.

Once they were both mostly satisfied, they turned Payne to the mirror again. Gazing back at her framed in rolling black locks was a face she barely recognized. Seeing herself brought a flood of feelings that threatened to overwhelm her. She pushed them back. Irma and Daisy, seeing her expression, both put a comforting hand on each of her shoulders.

Shaking her nerves and memories away, Payne stood up. “Now for the final touches, right?” Within moments, the look was complete. Again, they all studied Payne. Payne stared back at her foreign reflection. Something was missing. After a moment’s consideration, she walked over an old foot locker. She riffled through her clothes and equipment.  Pulling out her combat knife and a thin leather belt, she fashioned a holster, securing it high up on her thigh.

“Now we’re done.” She proudly proclaimed.

Irma rapped gently on Kent’s door. “Someone is here to pick you up for the party, Kent…”

“Irma, I told you and Payne that I am busy tonight. You guys go and have fun without me. I’ll be fine…” He opened the door, his eyes scanning the labels of the holotapes in his other hand. “I have to pick which epi...” His voice trailed off as his eyes finally ventured outside his room. Kent stood gobsmacked, his mouth gaping. The Mistress of Mystery stood before him in the flesh, complete with elbow length opera gloves, a sparkling black gown trimmed with a stunning white ruffle and black high heels. Payne’s black hair formed two gentle waves on either side of her face, half which was coyly concealed behind a delicate lacey black veil.

“Kent Connolly, may I kindly inquire that you make my acquaintance and accompany me to Mayor Hancock’s commemorative occasion?”

Kent’s jaw attempted to form words, but only succeeded in flapping like a fish pulled up into the bright morning air. His brain seemed to be having trouble reconciling both Payne and The Mistress of Mystery standing before him.

“Please?” The longer that Kent stood there in silence, the dread that this idea was doomed to fail grew.

“Of course!” Kent stammered at last. Payne let out an internal sigh of relief. She offered her arm and Kent gleefully took it.

“You don’t have to stay long or anything, I just want you to get out and have a little fun.” Payne whispered. Kent gave her arm a gentle affectionate squeeze in thanks.

Walking through the dark streets, Payne noticed there were only a few Neighborhood Watch out. She caught Ted’s attention walking past.

“Decided to work tonight?”

“Yeah, the boss gives us a nice bit of compensation if we pick up a shift during his annual bash.” He tapped on the box of Grape Mentats in his lapel pocket.

“Don’t get through the whole box in one night!” she ribbed.

Ted tipped his hat and continued on his patrol. “You take good care of her, Kent. She’s one dangerous date!”

Heading down to the escalator, they saw the bar bursting at the seams with people. Payne wasn’t even sure that there were even this many people in Goodneighbor. She caught faces turning to face them as they walked. Payne now felt over dressed, but this was her part for the evening for as long as Kent would stay, so she didn’t mind the extra attention. Hancock’s red coat caught her eye as he darted in and around people, schmoozing and charming the guests.

They walked to a free small table in the corner.

“I’ll get us a little something to drink. What would you like?”

Payne was surprised that Kent volunteered. “I’m fine with anything, but ask for a clean drink. It wouldn’t surprise me if there were a few specials going around with chems mixed in.” Kent nodded and headed to the bar in the sea of people. She could see him getting ‘atta boys’ from some of the other patrons as he passed.

“So, there is a body under all that leather!” Hancock’s raspy voice teased as he grabbed a nearby chair, turning it backwards as he sat down. “And you managed the impossible! I really shouldn’t underestimate you.” Hancock elbowed her arm playfully.

“Yeah, my womanly wiles are just too strong!” She turned a bit more serious, “I’m just glad he didn’t slam the door in my face. I don’t want him to think I am teasing him or making fun.” Kent returned with a pair of Nuka-Colas. Payne should have known he would be a bit of a teetotaler. She graciously accepted her drink while she snickered inside.

Hancock turned to Kent. “Who knew all it took was a pair of long legs and pretty eyes to get you out, Kent!”

“One can’t refuse the Mistress, Hancock!” Kent was faster on his feet than Payne had thought.

“I’ll keep that in mind, Mistress.” Payne rolled her eyes as this innuendo.

Irma and Daisy made their way to the growingly inadequate table.

“I bet you didn’t know that Daisy was a seamstress in another life!” Payne boasted.

“Hardly… I had a sewing machine growing up. I mended things… but nothing like this Frankenstein of a dress! I bet you can’t tell it is actually three dresses sewn together (it was freaking impossible to find a prewar dress with the length we needed), plus a clean pillow case for the ruffle thing! Oh, and those glove… guess what they are!”

Payne put her hands out so they all could stroke her opera gloves. “Guess!” she egged on.

Hancock and Kent were baffled. “Those are made from a half a dozen old black t-shirts! We used Payne’s regular gloves as makeshift patterns. Luckily the old knit fabric has a lot of stretch… because man, if used correctly that can cover a lot of sins!” Daisy was rightly proud of her work.

“What did you do?” Hancock nodded to Irma.

“I did hair and makeup, naturally. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get the right product get those waves to stay put? Damn near impossible. I hope they just last an hour down here with all the heat.” Payne nodded her head. She had no idea what Irma had used, and she was afraid to ask. She just hoped it didn’t make all her hair fall out by the end of the night. “I also found the lace for her veil.”

Payne picked up the thread. “I mostly dreamed up the scheme. I felt bad that Kent might be missing out again on such a great party, so I hope he doesn’t mind too much.” Kent gave an embarrassed ‘no’. “And I helped where I could. I am nowhere near the wizard with a sewing needle that Daisy is, but I worked on a fair bit of it.”

“I think you look lovely.” Kent said.

“Me too, buddy. I could get used to that view.” Hancock added.

“Put a hand on my ass, and you are going to lose a finger!” Payne playfully drew up her skirt to reveal her knife nestled against her leg.

“Hey,” Payne said. “You guys want something? I’m just about done with my Nuka-Cola.” Kent was still nursing his soda, so she took an order from the other three and headed up to the bar.

Charley was absolutely swamped, his three arms whizzing through the space behind the bar. After a few minutes, he finally turned his attention to Payne.

“The boss got you doing double duty tonight?” Payne asked.

“More like triple! Glad there is an open bar only once a year, or he’d better get me another arm! Whatcha getting?”

“A beer, a bourbon and a triple shot of whiskey.” Charley grunted and hurried away. With all the bodies moving in and around the bar, Payne barely registered a man sitting down next to her before he leaned in close to her.

“I know whaat yur doing…” his words slurred together.

Payne looked at him with a side glance. “I’m getting some drinks.” She tried to ignore him.

“No!, I can see through you, phony. Don’t you think you can fool me.”

“It’s the costume, isn’t it. Damn, you got me! I’m not really a comic book character.” She really shouldn’t be engaging this asshole, but he was really getting on her nerves.

“Fuck you! Fahr’s my friend and I don’t let anyone treat her like shit! You’re trying to replace her, weasel into Hancock’s good graces, you pathetic faker! You ghoul fucker!” A few people close by were now taking notice and either moving away or trying to get a better view.

Payne had had enough of this drunkard. Slowly and deliberately she turned to face him, stone faced. As she spoke, the hand further from him moved to her thigh.

“Let me get this straight. You are accosting a person who has traveled from the far west by herself, a trip that can take years, through every kind of hell inspired wasteland filled with monsters you could barely think up in your wildest dreams, who is then hired by the most powerful man in Goodneighbor as one of his two personal bodyguards….“ With a powerful slam, Payne embedded her knife in the bar right in front of the man, the blade penetrating an inch into the ancient wood. He jumped back on his stool, nearly falling. “Or….you are insulting a person who has gained control of most powerful man in Goodneighbor by his cock.” Payne inched closer. “It seems neither of these kinds of people would be smart to piss off, especially at Hancock’s own party.”

The man was quickly surrounded by a few more party goers. As they issued weak apologies, they roughly guided him away, chastising and admonishing him as soon as they were out of earshot.

Charley returned with Payne’s drinks. “Nice theatrics, but what about my fucking bar?”

“I’ll fix it this week some time. Sorry.” She pulled the knife out. While she was glad she had ended that without a fight, it still left her a little uneasy.

Returning to her table, everyone was laughing, even Kent. Hancock nearly double over.

“I guess you guys heard the whole thing?”

“Everyone in Diamond City heard the damn thing!” Hancock roared and slapped her goodheartedly on the back. Payne’s mood finally lightened and she eased into a good chuckle herself. “And everyone knows, if you are going to go ghoul fucking, you might as well start with the finest one!”

Author’s Note: My proofreader was extremely sick when they tried to go through this for me. They did their best, but if you find anything, please let me know!

[mensajeroseis]

so what's the consensus on who the actual milves are 🤔

well, a lot of people’s suggestions were either sensible or considering cougars and milfs to be the same thing. now of course they can overlap ! but truthfully i think a lot more cougars exist in fallout, than milfs. So my personal list is short probably

1. The Lone Wanderer’s mom. Now you may ask, I didn’t consider Nora one, why Catherine. Well, I’d rather list NPCs than player characters. Also James is a dilf, so inherently Catherine is a milf.

2. The Village Elder of Arroyo. Same deal, I just think player character’s parents if included are automatic milf/dilf territory.

3. Rose from FO2. It’s never listed that she has children, though her great niece in FNV gives me enough leeway. Also just her description... “You see a pleasantly plump woman. Her gray hair is done up in a loose bun, and she walks with a slight waddle. You can't help but feel relaxed around her.” ideal milf

4. Tandi. She does have a son, though Tandi in FO2 reaches gilf territory.

5. Kerith from FO2. I have an issue with listing creatures as milfs. I am not a monster fucker. But she talks, and I find the intelligent deathclaws to be very endearing.

6. Ostensibly, Holly from the Family can be a milf. Found family of vampires milf...

7. Leaf Mother Laurel is a milf, and the type that you find at a organic farmer’s market

8. Rosie and Jessica from the Republic of Dave are milfs. Woe The Pain of Weird Narcissistic Man Polygamy

9. Vera from Rivet City has the responsibility of a milf, even though she’s bryan wilk’s cousin. So idk what that label would be

10. Carol is one of the Definitive Milfs of Fallout, god bless her

11. Old Lady Palmer is a combo milf/gilf

12. Sandra from the Pitt is a milf, until I steal her baby

13. Trudy has milf energy, a vibe if you will. Kinda like Rose from FO2

14. Lily is also a combo milf/gilf. I’m not into mutants like that though but for everyone else who is this is just facts

15. Waking Cloud is also one of the Definitive Milf of fallout

17. Penske from Vault 81 reaches adoptive milf territory

and a general list of fo4 milfs : Connie Abernathy, Kessler, Wilhelmina Cabot, Marcy Long, Abigail Finch, Carol Peabody (barely realizing...there are 2 carols who are both ghouls in bethesda fallouts)

so about 23, there are ofc more but i wanted characters of somewhat importance