#getting to highlight other people's stuff is definitely a good motivator to keep me reading because I want to make everyone fall in love!!

[seaglassmelody]

Reflection Ruesday x2

I got tagged in both versions of this today, thanks to @woundedsoul12, @tinyshoopuf and @littlemissgeek8! Thanks everyone :D

So the first version is woundedsoul12's adjusted one, to show off your work or someone else's that you think should get more attention. I'm finally getting time to dig into people's fics and I wanna share @hedwigoprah's The Arrangement of a Soul because Veryl is so very good and I think everyone should get to know her ;A;

and then the original rules: Go through your writing, art, gifs, etc. that you started but never finished and find something you love. Brush it up a bit if you want and share it. Tag me and use the tag Reflection Ruesday (it'll grow on you, I promise) and I'll comment and reblog. Then tag some other folks you think might enjoy it.

I'm bringing back my map of my canon world state Dragon Age Heroes because I worked really hard on this!! My original idea was a sort of pin set of them, though obviously the art is too complicated for an enamel pin haha This is also, fun fact, one of my first dedicated pieces of Sabi!

I'm tagging @mythals-whore, @antivan-sprig, @thedissonantverses (who has done this twice but too bad!), @operative-arrow, and @serstolas if you would like to join in!

[brucewaynehater101]

As someone who is partly deaf, I love that deaf Tim stuff. But hear me out for something that could work for either of them. What if on complete accident when both the Bats and Rouges hear about Tim's disability, the Rouges are the ones who do a better job with not looking down on Tim. Yes they add things to help him, like for Deaf Tim Joker would also use ASL as he monologs to make sure that Tim can understand him or with Blind Tim Riddler makes puzzle rooms themed around telling the difference in textures or he reads all the riddles out loud.

Meanwhile the Bats are. They *tried* ok? But they keep over compensating because they worry about Tim. Unlike the Rouges who don't pull their punches, during training the Bats do start pulling punches and going a little easier on Tim. Dick keeps trying to do things for Tim that Tim knows he can do. Bruce keeps taking him off cases that involve in person investigation. Damian keeps saying things about how all tasks should be left to him because clearly he's the superior one (if it's early Damian, later on when they're on better terms he wouldn't be as assholish about it but also keeps trying to take over tasks for Tim)

I'm really really glad that you vibed with the AU.

As far as your additions, I 100% agree. Having "good intentions" for people can still be harmful and frustrating. That's why, in these AUs, Tim tries to hide his disability until he's able to prove his efficiency. It's dealer's choice whether the Bats choose to acknowledge the evidence or are still doubting his capabilities.

I think the fic from the OG post has a scene where Babs, Cass, and Tim meet up to discuss the microaggressions they face from the Bats due to their respective disabilities. The sequel definitely has cute interactions between Damian and Tim. Damian refuses for anyone to treat his "rival" as weak or incapable. Peak siblings energy.

The funny part I find about this would be the Rogues accommodating Tim's disabilities just so they can defeat him. If Joker learned ASL for Tim, he'd probably research the hell out of how to look intimidating and scary while doing it (since, depending on Tim's hearing loss, Joker can't effectively utilize the vocal tone skills he's trained to be terrifying). Riddler would treat it as another puzzle and mental exercise (his Riddles would likely increase in accessibility for multiple disabilities as time progresses. He wants to challenge folks by their thinking abilities, not by their ability to test within the constraints placed on them. Perhaps, after his research and new implementations, he even starts targeting schools that unfairly places confines on their students [from both a socioeconomic standpoint and from improper accommodations]).

Anyways, I would love a fic that highlights some of the Bats' treatment of Tim and how not to interact with folks of different disabilities. Stuff like infantilizing, doing tasks for the person without permission, assuming what someone can handle, and disregarding them. It'd be cool to watch Tim try open communication (asking boundaries and what level of assistance the person desires) with all of them. For some, that's all that's needed. They have a clear guideline of "that shit was not okay" and the lines of communication are open for them to ask clarification in the future. For others, they listen to Tim, agree to change, and still pull that shit. I personally vote for Tim getting petty.

I feel like Babs and Cass would be the ones to understand the most that Tim can do anything he sets his mind to (he's so incredibly stubborn that he'd probably even be able to steal LexCorp from Luthor if he was motivated enough. He most likely even has plans already drawn for it ready to implement at any point). Duke would probably understand how others' perceptions of Tim affect him.

I also kill for Tim utilizing WE resources to bring aid and accommodations based on more specific audiences (such as how kids in the foster system, LGBT youth, and those with disabilities [both mental and physical] disportionately make up the homeless population).

I'm rambling a bit because sociology is a passion of mine. I'd get a higher education on the subject if I had the money.

Anyways, I love considering such perspectives in fanfiction. Let me know if there's other stuff I should add to this AU!

[ppnuggie]

hello ppnuggie <3

can i have a lost in space match up please :3?

i go by sunny, my pronouns are she/they and im omnisexual!!

i have short, curly ginger hair and a lot of freckles,, im planing on getting little solar systems tattoed on diffrent clutters of freckles which is not really relevant ig but,, freckles

my eye color is a mix of blue and green and people have actually argued over what my eye color is at school lol,, i dont really have an aesthetic but i do have these really cool pants with doodles on them and a little ufo on the back pocket that says "i need space"

i have a very cheery personality around friends and i would literally die for them,, i dont express myself around my family as much because they can be really judgy and im really sensitive,, and if im around someone i absolutely hate/someone who has wronged me significantly, i will let them know exactly how i feel - if i do have an issue with someone i will always try to solve the issue in a civil mannar without hurting their feelings,, i rely on communication a lot and its an important thing to me with different relationships

but other than that, im very friendly with new people and friends, im very open and try very hard not to be intimidating, because as an antisocial and socially anxious person ik how it feel when talking to knew people,, im definitely more confident over social media and texts than i am in person.

im an artist!!! im graduating a year early from high school and going to one of the country's best art schools!! ive had art set as acareer path in my brain since the 5th grade,, art is my life

i also dabble in creative writting, mostly fanfics but its just so incredible to come up with stories,, im a big book worm,, if im not drawing or watching cartoons/syfi films im reading, could be ao3, wattpad, tumblr fics, poetry, or a physical book i bought, i will read it

i love syfi and action that simmer in some romance ya know,, it just hits diffrent,, especially alien robot themed syfi,, idk my brain just eplodes when i see space robots

i hate being surrounded by clutter, my surroundings affect my mental state so i try to be as clean as possible to keep my attitude and motivation up :))

i have anxiety + social anxiety,, especially if im alone in crowded/public spaces- went on a college field trip once in middle school and i had a break down at taco bell because none of my friends were there and i was surrounded by strangers,, students or not,,

i hate broccoli and coliflower and public speaking/presentation assignments

im sorry if this is too much? ive never asked for a match up before but the ones ive seen are kinda lengthy so im not too sure :// i might do another match up ask in the future for tfp if its still open i love those funky dudes

anyways thank you for reading my tf stuff and requesting it was the highlight of my week !!! :D

ahh tysm for requesting !! 🥹🥹🙏❤️ im so sorry i havent been able to reply to the comments and stuff you make on my posts 😭😭 i promise im not ignoring you ,, its just this isnt my main blog but instead a side blog ,, my main one i dont bother or toucb anymore 😭😭 but my dms are definitely open if you ever wish to talk or so <33 and np !! i cant wait to see the finished result for the request :D i like your work so much 🥹 its rlly good !! heres you matchup <33 under the thing ,, and dw ,, you can request again for tfp bc no ones rlly requested so far 😭🙏 congrats on the art school tho ! :D hope you do have fun with that !!

𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 : robot !! :D

𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐃𝐄𝐒 :

• he would stay around you often ,, not bothering to spend time with others and instead stick close to you unless you told him not to

• hes very curious about you ,, lights swirling around inside the glass on his face ,, he finds you interesting and nice to be around

• whilst hes not all that sure about humans just yet ,, as they all act differently from one another ,, he does feel safer and more comfortable around you

• whenever he catches glimpses of your drawings he tilts his head to the side ,, wondering about them in his mind

• he loves to see your drawings ,, how each varies differently from one to another ,, it just makes more memories for him

• he has tried to draw something for you before ,, wanting to indulge in this littke artistic hobby of yours and make something ,, though it was only in the dirt as he doesnt know how to use pencils and stuff yet

• he’ll help you with public spaces and crowds and strangers as best as he can ,, making it known hes there for you shall you need some reassurance <3

𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎

the small stick glided around in the dirt ,, shapes starting to form as he moved it about. he had his mind focused on a plant form ,, gazing back and forth at it as he tried to mimick its shaping. the lights swirled softly inside the glass ,, hand moving to make another shape.

once finished ,, he turned to look up at you. the lights never once stopped swirling ,, a soft hum coming from robot as he awaited for your reaction. laid there in the dirt had been a mishapened flower ,, the one just a little bit in front of you two.

he hoped you liked it somewhat ,, hoping you’ll enjoy his creation as much as he enjoys yours. the lights slowed their pace ,, blue gazing into your eyes as he awaited.

[missmentelle]

Hi MM/Bee! I'm a recent college graduate. I always worked hard in school and I matured a lot at college, but I'm realizing how low my self-esteem is. I'm obsessing over the things I haven't done/accomplished, scholarships I never applied for, my body image, my high school days, "not being as successful as my high school class", an old crush who I never talked to (who is already super successful), and some days I feel like I messed up my life beyond repair. How do I work on self-love? Thank you!

For starters, I think it’s important for you to know that you aren’t the only person feeling this way. I get similar questions all the time, often from people who aren’t even out of their 20s yet. It isn’t even remotely true that you need to achieve wild success by age 25 or you’ve wasted your life, but I can understand why so many people feel that way. 

Our culture is dangerously obsessed with productivity, youth and achievement, to the point that it is actively making all of our lives miserable. It’s not hard to understand where people get this idea that they’re failing in life if they aren’t a 20-something well-travelled millionaire - that is the message our culture throws in our faces all the time - and it’s so unbelievably untrue. We compile “top 30 under 30″ lists, celebrate incredibly young performers and entertainers, and hold up extremely high-achieving lifestyles as something that every one of us needs to be striving for, but we don’t - there is no timeline for “success”, there is no one true definition of success, and people will take wildly different paths in life to arrive at the same set of goals. What you think of as your failure is not actually your failure - it’s a cultural failure that so many of us fall victim to. 

I think it’s also important to remember that you haven’t messed up your life beyond repair: you’ve barely started your life yet. Your college years are supposed to be a time of growing and maturing, and that maturation doesn’t end the moment you cross the stage - you’re going to continue to learn and change and grow throughout your lifespan. And growth means you are always going to mess some stuff up - that’s how we grow. All of us have to make mistakes in this life, and all of us have to prioritize rest sometimes; there are always going to be tests we don’t do so great on, social situations we flub, scholarships we don’t apply for, crushes we don’t confess to, deadlines we miss, relationships we let fall apart and goals we don’t achieve. Nobody speedruns life with 100% completion. And that’s okay. Those missteps and mistakes are what teach us to do better next time, or they give us the time to rest and gather energy for the next goal we want to work toward. 

Of course, learning to accept yourself and let go of cultural conditioning is easier said than done. For many of us, it’s a lifelong journey, if not the overarching theme of our lives. I wish there was a simple way to achieve it. I do, however, have some tips that can help you get there:

Unplug from productivity and self-improvement culture. Going online and seeing “Shakespeare wrote King Lear in quarantine, here’s how to maximize your quarantine time” and “here’s how I became a millionaire by age 22″ is not actually that motivating - in all likelihood, it’ll just make you feel bad about yourself. The internet is an absolute firehose of content about how you can do more, achieve more, squeeze more out of your day, and it’s completely overwhelming; honestly, most of us feel better when we stop pointing that firehose straight at our own face. It’s easier to believe that you are enough when you stop consuming content that tells you that you aren’t. Self-improvement culture looks positive on the surface, but we aren’t actually making ourselves better people by obsessing over our work and productivity - we’re just making ourselves miserable. 

Ask yourself “who benefits from making me feel bad about myself?” It’s not a coincidence that we’ve built a culture obsessed with youth and productivity - that culture is making a lot of people very, very rich. Whenever you can be convinced that you aren’t thin enough, not pretty enough, not good enough, you can be convinced to run out and buy things that might fix the problem. That’s how we ended up with a $10 billion dollar self-improvement industry and a $532 billion dollar beauty industry. Content people are harder to sell to. Of course, knowing that people are profiting off your insecurities doesn’t magically make the insecurities go away - but it’s important to start thinking critically and asking yourself “where do my insecurities come from? Is there really something wrong with me, or is someone profiting from making people like me feel this way?”

Do things that make you happy, just for the sake of doing them. Paint a picture. Plant a garden. Learn to play the mandolin. Read cheesy romance novels. Find some things that you enjoy doing just for you - things that you don’t need to maximize, monetize or optimize. You don’t even need to be good at them. If you enjoy doing it, have at it. So many of us are encouraged to suck the joy out of our hobbies by turning them into a “side hustle” or another regimented form of self-improvement. Find some activities that just make your life better and do them, just for the sake of doing them. 

Examine the role of social media in your life. Most of us don’t post a complete, unedited view of our lives on social media - we just post the highlights and keep the tough stuff - the rejections, the times we got ghosted, the bad hair days - to ourselves. And even if you know that cognitively, it still sucks to log onto social media when you’re having a “blah” week and find yourself bombarded with other people’s engagement announcements, med school acceptances, wedding pictures and photos of the new homes people just bought. Social media forces you to compare your “average” to everyone else’s “best”, all the time. And the numbers don’t help - social media lets you do an exact comparison of how many followers and likes you have compared to someone else, and seeing someone get more positive feedback than you can sting. Working on self-love means taking a hard look at the impact social media is having on your self-esteem. How much of your time do you spend on social media? How do you feel after you use social media? Are you following accounts that make you feel better about yourself, or worse? Do you ever feel bad about the number of likes or followers you have? Do you feel like your time on social media is wasted? Do you follow accounts that make you feel better about yourself, or worse? Stepping away from social media for your mental health is an important move for some people - you can still be happy for your friends and loved ones while acknowledging that it’s not good for you to have their achievements broadcast to you 24/7. 

Surround yourself with good, supportive people. If you find that your circle of friends tends to diminish each other’s achievements, be overly critical of each other or go out of their way to one-up each other, that’s probably not a circle of friends that’s going to be good for you in the long run. Find people who are genuinely happy for you, and make you feel supported and loved for who you are. If that means you need to branch out of your current social circles, that’s okay - you can find great friends in surprising places, and it’s worth the initial awkwardness of getting to know a new person. 

Challenge your definition of “success”. Success does not have to look like a high-paying job and a giant house and expensive cars and 2.5 honour roll children. It certainly can look that way, if you feel that those are meaningful goals for you, but it doesn’t have to look that way. A doctor is not necessarily “more successful” than a poet, and a lawyer is not necessarily “more successful” than a stay-at-home parent. The only person who gets to define what a “successful” life looks like is you. It takes time to unlearn the social conditioning that “money and prestige = success”, but it can be done. Success looks different for all of us. 

Set goals that are personally meaningful to you. It’s important for all of us to think critically about what we want, and it’s even more important to think critically about why we want it. Do we want that degree program or that accomplishment or that job because it aligns with our interests? To impress others? To prove someone wrong? Or because we feel like we’re supposed to want it? Try to focus your energy on the goals that you want, that are personally meaningful to you. If that’s law school, great. If that’s selling homemade jam at the farmer’s market, that is equally great. 

Remember that success does not have a deadline. I know this is very hard to believe in your early twenties, but your dreams do not shrivel up and blow away the day you turn 30. Life doesn’t end when your 20s are over. You haven’t missed your shot, and you don’t have to figure everything out right now. Growth and achievement are lifelong journeys - people find their dream jobs, accomplish their goals, finish degrees and meet the love of their life in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond. The best book I read this year was “Where the Crawdads Sing” a novel that spent 32 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list. It also happened to be the author’s first novel, and it came out when she was sixty-nine years old. Your dreams do not have an expiration date. 

Capture the joy and positivity in your life. I think one of the most important ways to feel better about your life is to spend more time focusing on all the good things in your life, rather than focusing on all the ways you could be better. Rather than fixating on whether you could have applied for more scholarships or turned that B+ into an A-, spend more time reflecting on the happy memories you have of your time in college. Again, this isn’t something that will happen overnight - it’s a learned skill that you need to consciously work on. Interrupt yourself when you are starting to fixate on things you could have done better, and make yourself list out three things you enjoyed about college. Connect with old college friends you haven’t heard from in a while. Try to take more notice of good things in your life as they happen to you - take more pictures, keep a journal, make collages, start a scrapbook, keep a box of momentos. You don’t need to have a perfect life to be happy; it’s okay to work on being happy with the life you have. 

Best of luck to you! MM

[yeocult]

ATEEZ as students studying

HONGJOONG:

king of self-care! but studies for 15 minutes then take a 2 hour break and calls it self-care (omg he thinks he’s me or smth)

has power naps every single day at least 30 mins because he’s Stressed

always thinking of ways to drop out during the middle of lectures

that one kid that talks to nobody & sits at the back of the class with his hood on to hide his airpods

doesn’t do it anymore bc one time it disconnected and “there’s some whores in this house” blasted out loud & now he’s paranoid

shows up to group studies but lets the group carry him,,, but he puts out One Really good idea to get his name on the paper

only cares about topics he’s interested in, other than that he’s just astral projecting

“yo can you send me your answers so i can compare mine?” but he copies it and says “we got the same answers” (all men do is lie</3)

calculates his marks; “ok so i need at least a 80 on this...oh wait no, a 95...damn okay...”

the type to arrives late with ice coffee

SEONGHWA:

wakes up at 5 am to study instead of staying up

scented candles and lofi music for the ~studying mood~

a linguistic learner

learns best by teaching others so he’ll do group studies often to help other people

teaches people without making them feel dumb

uses grammarly for his emails with 3 paragraphs asking 1 question with a proper greeting and a ‘sincerely, park seonghwa’

professor: ok - sent from iphone

you’ll never see him during exams week, he’s Gone

a loyal user of the outline method

his desk must be cleared at all times! a clean workspace makes it easier to focus

brings extra pencil just in case anyone needs them bc he’s the sweetest person ever (he’s fully aware that he’ll never get them back but it’s okay bc sharing is caring)

does his readings on time (you’ll never catch him slacking)

actually has his shit together for the most part 1/2

YUNHO:

writes “i love you” or “sorry” at the end of his tests (that he bombed)

the type to ask you to print “just one thing real quick” and it’s 15 page and at 2 am

uses emojis like :D & \(^o^)/ when sending emails to his professors

has a bad habit of copying word for word on the slide and he doesn’t actually understand/learn anything

goes to the library bc he thinks that’ll help him be in the ~studying vibe~

it doesn’t. ends up texting or watching youtube gameplay

has never heard of the colour-coding system in his entire life and ends up with a page filled with neon highlight

snacks breaks are the only thing keeping him Normal

leaves himself an encouraging note at the end of the reading page so when he’s finished he feels good !!

friends with all of the professors and uses all office hours

strongest points are his guessing skills in multiple-choice questions (process of elimination ftw!)

he tries his best, doesn’t care about marks that much because he knows it doesn’t determine him (and he’s right!)

YEOSANG:

probably runs a studyblr/gram

has the cutest note ever, his handwriting is so pretty!!

he thinks that buying an ipad pro & apple pencil will make him smarter

likes it bc he can doodle on it then erase them easily :”)

has to wear blue ray glasses because of how he looks at a screen so much

mildliners, muji 0.38 gel pen, 6 ring binder, minimal planner, washi tapes, you name it! he visits muji and daiso every other week

buys wayyy too many planners and notebooks which he never ends up using

only uses pastel mildliners because they’re easy on the eyes. cringes every time he sees yunho’s highlighters v_v

his flaw is that he spends 10 mins writing his header with brush tip pens

mutes the group project gc but gets his part done like the good classmate he is

sweats every time he gets an assignment back, takes a whole ten minute to mentally prepare himself

a visual learner; makes mind maps, flow charts, etc

actually has a working printer that he uses pretty often to prints lessons before class just to be Extra prepare

tells everyone he slept well but his bullet journal habit tracker for sleep says otherwise (plz rest!!)

exclusively uses college ruled paper like the sane person he is

SAN:

uses wide-ruled paper (unfortunately not everyone is perfect</3)

starts off very positive, motivated, and organized

then everything goes downhill by the second week

will definitely set byeol on top of his keyboard, take a picture, and send it to his professor as an ‘excuse’ as why he needs an extension (it works)

can’t sit still for any longer than 30 mins, his legs are always bouncing or fidgeting with pen

flashcard king! spends a lot of time on them but it’s worth it

a utensil chewer (always willing to share his pencil but when ppl saw the bite marks they’re like No Thanks >_>)

can’t study well with groups or himself bc he’ll be distracted,,, so he needs one person that can ground him bc when they’re in the zone, he will too be on his x game mode

sends his assignment at 11:58 pm hoping his professor will take the Hint (plz don’t be afraid to ask for help u_u)

prefers listening to ghibli studio soundtracks but then he either gets emotional or sleepy

sometimes forget to mute his mic and we just hear him groaning in frustration

“haha sorry i just stubbed my toe...”

then mutes his mic and goes back to his mental breakdown

MINGI:

the only person that studies every single day just to get his brain used to the information and running

probably listens to anime op or edm music for that Energy Boost

everyone either hates or love him because...

1. loves him bc he always comes clutched with study guides (and willing to share if he likes you enough)

2. he’s good at everything even if he’s not paying attention/doing it last minute

just naturally good at retaining information and applying them

asks Big Brain question that even the professors are shook

sometimes he gets super into the topic and wants to know Everything

“i’ve never failed an exam in my life” and he’s right! big brain mingi

fetal flaw is that he forgets easily (hence why the last minute) and has to write on his palm as a reminder

clicks his pens All the time so he switched to pens with caps just to keep others from jumping him

takes naps 10 mins before classes

actually has his shit together for the post part 2/2

“if no one got me, i know khan academy and quizlet got me. can i get an amen”

WOOYOUNG:

y’all know that one mf that doesn’t have a pencil?

yea he’s been using the same one someone lend to him before a test and never returned it

it’s been two months and it’s still working well and they’re never going to get it back

a minimalist,,,, but in a bad way</3 bc he carries his stolen pencil and paper that he spilled his energy drink over and that’s about it

just throw loose papers in his bag and forgets about their existence

doesn’t do binders or notebooks, just crumbled up paper

sometimes carries a textbook just to show everyone that he’s got his life together

really noisy for No reason, always wants to know other’s marks

a kinesthetic learner

hides his screen with he gets the kahoot questions wrong (you’ll never catch him slippin)

plays coolmathgames.com during class

doesn’t really know what to study/prioritize so he overwhelms himself with every single topic ever

thinks he’s god by pulling an all-nighter to look at the 60+ slides last minute

Swears he’ll change and do better next semester,,,</3

goes to the cafe, takes pictures of his notes & laptop, post it on his story, then leaves

JONGHO:

thrives off of red bull and ice americanos

gets notes and study guides from his upperclassmen because everyone loves jongho

an audio learner so he’ll probably work out or go on a jog while listening to lessons/audiobook

never pulls all-nighters bc it messes up his sleep schedule and says he’ll do it in the morning but he never does

doesn’t even own a highlighter, he’ll circle or underline stuff with a red or black pen

has never touched a textbook in his life

only the study guides and slides, his textbook is collecting dust rn

his notes are literally Only for him because his handwriting only makes sense to him

has questionable handwriting,,, it’s like decoding

multitasks a lot but it ends up taking a lot longer than he wanted to (bc it’s a myth)

very spontaneous; he’ll grind for 5 hours straight but sometimes he won’t even touch a pencil

works best when he talks about the work in groups and share information with each other, like having a convo about the topic

unmutes his mic Once after the lesson to say “bye”

does his work right after the lessons but then takes a short break & doesn’t even Look back for the rest of the night

-

a/n: tag yourself ! i’m a bit of hohong (i projected myself on all of them in some way lmaooo)

[venusiangguk]

ok. i finished 10 minutes ago and needed a break. prepare for a long message miss stella 🙂

firstly, THE BEGINNING. WHAT THE CUCKSNEKMFKD. THE WORKING OUT, THE WATCHING EACH OTHER IN THE MIRROR, THE SEXUAL TENSION I COULD FEEL THROUGH THE SCREEN. i-

ok but when oc was kinda sad she wasn’t invited i wanted to cry because i get so immersed into the story i forget nari isn’t hers. it’s just cause she’s so amazing to nari that i forget :/ and it’s hard for me to accept she’s not oc and jk’s baby. anyways.

the ASS EATING STELLA. u went in and i’m so happy for that. wait i need to appreciate this snippet:

“As your tongue works over him, he chants over and over again, tells you how hot you look, how good your mouth feels, how wants you to keep going. It’s when you point your tongue a little, just barely pressing into his rim that his hand goes to the back of your head.

He holds your face to his ass, pushes you into him as he melts into the chair, his chest rising and falling with deep breaths that lilt up at the end.

“Good girl,” Jeongguk moans, his eyes blinking open hazily as he looks down at you again.”

WHDKSIWNEJE THIS WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE SMUT FOR ME.

hELP BUT WHEN SHE SAID DADDY AND HE WAS LIKE “no🤨” I SCREAMED … the sir kink i gotta go. let’s not forget how oc was CRYING from the jock. she was so overwhelmed, there was so much happening. like the way u were adding in the little thoughts where we could tell love was brewing 😞 oh and i need to mention him holding her up cause she was completely fucked out… yeah

wait before i get to the hard part, I WANNA SAY JK HAVING A LITTLE AREA FOR NARI WITH A DANCE BAR 😭 sobbing rn

…. ok

now onto the madness.

i just knew nari’s mom was gonna be at the door. like if she wasn’t u would’ve been like “you paid the delivery guy quickly and walked to the kitchen” but the way you were processing every second before oc opened the door.. i just KNEW.

the AWKWARDNESS. we all know oc is gorgeous but we’ve all been there where we meet someone important and we don’t look our best and we’re sCREAMING inside. now oc didn’t seem to care besides the fact she was in jk’s shirt and it was painfully obvious they just fucked (wait i wish oc was like “bitch i ate his ass bet u never did before” ok let me stop)

we all knew dasom was gonna be THAT mom. hardworking, intimidating, classy, beautiful, JUDGEMENTAL. and whilst reading i was angry…quite PISSED OFF i will admit, BUT the more u think about it.. yeah imagine taking your daughter to your ex’s house and seeing a beautiful young woman in a your ex husbands shirt and your daughter reaching for her… what would u do? i’d be petty. so yeah can i blame her? no.

but i still wanted to punch her in the fucking face. like i have a strong hate for her but i also don’t?? it bothers me that her and jk thought having a baby would fix everything. at least they’re both amazing parents. nari’s speech issues hurt me sm. i could feel gguk’s worry. and ngl i felt for dasom when she cried. but also GET OUT OF HERE CUNT!! (i’m bipolar when it comes to her sorry 😁)

but i am mad at gguk for not defending oc. i know he was kinda in shock from the questions about “are u committing to her” but it made me upset. maybe cause i’ve been in that situation. and having someone u care about NOT defend u fucking hurts. a guy did the same to me with his ex. i get it’s a different situation tho, my ex wasnt a hot sexy rich carrying dilf… 

but this is stressful because i understand both sides. i don’t think i’d want to become a stepmom at 22. no matter how much i loved someone and their kid. this is hard for me to say but, i for once would be okay with them not ending up together. (i say this now but if they don’t i’ll be kicking n crying on the floor cussing u out)…. this is totally different than icrlr because here we have both sides communicating their feelings and concerns.

and they are both in COMPLETELY different parts of their life. it hurts.. so bad to say but maybe they aren’t meant to be together.

damn stella you’ve broken me. i’m actually wishing for them to part. look what you’ve done to me 🙂

now i’m not saying i’d be mad if they end up together, but i feel like if they don’t, it makes sense.

but iF THEY DONT POOR NARI WILL MISS HER. oh speaking of nari and oc… the part where she was holding her face while crying i- 😭 ur evil for that. babies r so precious. i’m done. and THE NARWHAL NOOOO 🙁

well i feel like i touched on everything i can remember. i’m sure more will come to mind after some re-reads. thank u my lovely stella, for the lengthy update. 💖💖

(but damn u cant put me thru the ringer like this … my feelings are so fucked up rn)

ahhhh yaz <33 ur reviews always make me sooo happy <333

i too forget that nari isn't oc's sometimes :( (or like i choose to forget about her mom lmao) she and nari have such a special bond </3

yes the ass eating 😤 and yeah okay, when he was pushing her into him i had to pause and like... think about my choices bc something activates me when jk gets so into it 🥴 im glad u liked it, love writing ass eating <3 jk really was like 'no daddy kink ever 🙅🏻' LMAO i feel like this smut was one of their more passionate times, they both were so into it n <33

ur exactly right about the kind of mom dasom is LOL and ur also right about how she reacted, like i feel like i would have definitely acted similarly, if not more petty 😭 but yeah she was kinda bitchy and didn't have to express herself that way. and when they were talking about nari, i really wanted to show dasom isn't a bad mom, and they she LOVES nari... like she's the antagonist but she's not a villain, i wanted her to be very human. (i kinda have a soft spot for her tbh)

it really is so hard because everyones emotions are valid. i know some people will pick sides, but i as the writer understand the motives of everyone a little better so i have a difficult time, although i can understand the flaws in each characters thinking process lol. they have a lot to think about and work through </33

thank u so much for reading and for taking the time to send me this like u have no idea how much i look forward to reading what u think about my stuff, ur opinion is valuable to me friend <33

[jimmymcgools]

good morning / evening / happy timezone! if you feel like it, what are some of your favourite BCS interviews, text or video?

oh man, hell yes! thanks for asking! ♥️

i’ve definitely forgotten some good ones and this is shamelessly biased toward my favourite characters, but hopefully this is a good place to start especially if you’re looking for kim + jimmy talk!

text

How They Made It: The Spectacular Fifth Season of ‘Better Call Saul’

a great article with quotes from everyone. home of the famous “these are two people who got a law office for love and got married for business.” quote from peter, and the lesser quoted set-up which i love just as much: 

“I think if you were to ask her, the character, ‘Well, why are you getting married?’ she would say, ‘Because Jimmy told me that he lies so he can protect me from having to testify against him.’ Which is a very lawyerly reason. But I think they get married because they love each other.” 🥺

How Rhea Seehorn Became Better Call Saul's Greatest Showman (huge props to @scullysflannel​ for totally crushing it) 

And she’s not ready to do that. 

‘Better Call Saul’ Star Rhea Seehorn: ‘It Is A Crazy Ride From Here To The End’ 

more great stuff from rhea and really interesting commentary on kim+jimmy’s relationship in season 4 (up to 4x07). “But Kim’s filling up every second of every day because God forbid she should just sit with her feelings for a minute.”

Better Call Saul star Bob Odenkirk on Jimmy's strange reaction to Chuck's death

short and heartbreaking interview with bob about jimmy’s headspace in episode 4x01

Rhea Seehorn on ‘Better Call Saul’ Season 3 Finale: Is Kim Finally ‘Breaking Bad?’

rhea talking about the end of season 3. 

Bob Odenkirk still has hope for Saul Goodman in penultimate season

i love this one because bob talks about jimmy’s anger and im obsessed with the anger of both these characters

Better Call Saul finale: Michael McKean explains Chuck's shocker

really long and interesting interview with mckean about chuck! most of these interviews have helped guide my fic a lot but my chuck notes are like 90% quotes from mckean in this. definitely worth a read if you’re interested in mckean’s thoughts on what makes chuck tick!

videos

Conversations with Bob Odenkirk of BETTER CALL SAUL

this is my favourite bob interview. i think the interviewer asks maybe three questions, and the rest is bob going ham. they did it towards the end of filming season 5, and i feel like he’s completely in the headspace of the character.

highlights include (starting at about 6:00) recounting his email argument with peter over a line reading -- a line that was written as a statement but bob wanted as a question. he says it’s from episode 9, but my big theory is that he’s talking about the “hundred thousand?” from 1x08, because he does a vince impression when he talks about the episode’s director.

and at 16:00 -- “i love the scene at the graveyard. did you say ‘boo-hoo’?” 

Rhea Seehorn dishes Kim's fate on 'Better Call Saul'

all these gold derby ones with rhea and bob are fascinating and this one really launches right into it. 

such great stuff about kim using silence as a position of power, and kim’s motivation for the chuck takedown (she’s defending jimmy but also she wants to keep mesa verde! “she has her own ego and ambition issues”). and then at 12:30 -- “asking chuck, do you realise that, if this is true, your brother would go to jail? and he’s fine with it. and it’s so disturbing [to kim] that he is that black and white.” 

i love about 9:00 in, too. kim gives jimmy “counsel without judgement, which i think is a very different thing than he’s getting from other people in his life.” 

as you can see i started rewatching and now i’m helplessly adding more and more rhea quotes to this section. it’s so good and every gold derby one is SO good. 

Inside the Writers Zoom with Better Call Saul, hosted by Patton Oswalt

patton interviewing some of the writers! some great stuff at about 15 minutes about the proposal and the kim flashback. 

i’m also forever haunted by mr. peter gould’s twinkly little all-knowing eyes in any interview he’s in. peter tell me your secrets (don’t tell me i want to wait) but tell me 

Conversations at Home with BETTER CALL SAUL

uh this one is just a joy to watch and there’s so many dogs 🐶

hopefully that’s a good amount and not too overwhelming! i’m also looking forward to kicking myself in a week when i think of all the great stuff i forgot to include 😂

thanks again for asking! this was super fun. 

[thenamesseven]

Word count: 3.9k

Warnings: Nothing in this chapter!

A/N: Here is another chapter! The first one got so many likes, I didn’t know you all would like this story so much ^^ Anyways, thank you for supporting it and I hope you enjoy reading this one too!

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Entering one by one, the inmates made their way into the shower room. After waiting for some minutes and allowing the guard by the door to frisk him, Jongho finally walked into the shared showers where everyone cleaned themselves at the same time, or at least, that's what everyone from outside thought they did. 

At the beginning, when he had only spent his first nights locked in this prison, he used to hate this time of the day. He had numerous reasons that would explain his dislike but only two of them could be highlighted. 

The first one was something he noticed as soon as he stepped into this room for the first time, the lack of privacy. Jongho was not an introverted person but he wasn't an exhibitionist either. He had always considered himself as somebody very intimate and private, only selected people had seen him fully naked and those had simply been one nightstands that he never had to see again.

Don't misunderstand this though, insecurities had nothing to do with this. His self-esteem has always been good enough to make him feel confident and Jongho had never disliked himself, in fact, he was pretty happy with his own physique. 

However, when he had to walk into a room full of strangers absolutely naked, Jongho had felt the need to hide himself for the first time. He wasn't intimidated, most of the guys here were in a worse state than he was but it was the way their eyes scanned his muscles, the way some of them whistled when he walked past them what had always creeped him out about this moment of the day. 

The second reason was more obvious. They were left alone in the showers, guards always waited outside by the door in case something happened. Although Jongho had witnessed horrible things during shower time and too little times one of the guards had been brave enough to come inside to stop it.

Someone would think showers were meant to let them relax but Jongho knew you couldn't let your guard down in a place like this. His eyes had seen too much, from dropping the soap situations to someone getting stabbed out of nowhere. After all, since the guards were out, this was the perfect occasion to hurt somebody if you wanted to.  

That could sum up some of the main reasons as to why Jongho had always hated this time of the day, no matter how hard he has tried to get used to it, he will never succeed in it. Shared showers were not meant for him but it was something he would have to deal with for so many more years. 

A sigh escaped his lips as he shook his head, this train of thoughts wasn't the most motivational one for the situation, in fact, daydreaming wasn't the best thing to do in the showers for the reasons mentioned above. Stepping aside to let his partners walk inside too, Jongho started unzipping his orange clothes in order to leave them in the dirty clothes basket. Some people were inside already and Jongho could feel some of their eyes trailing the outlines of his muscles, the lines of his tattoos, people here were truly unashamed when it came to staring.

It’s not like Jongho cared anymore though, the best way to get through this was to ignore that small feeling in his chest, the one that made him slightly disgusted. Like he usually said, the sooner he showered the sooner he would finish.

With his eyes glued to the blank wall at the end of the corridor full of showers, Jongho made his way deeper into the room with a towel on his shoulder and the bar of soap in his hands. Some of the guys he walked by whistled, some of them ignored him, Jongho just hoped nobody felt in the mood to pick a fight with him tonight, he truly wasn’t in the mood to throw some punches.

"Been working out, huh!?"

Someone shouted from his side, Jongho didn’t even stop to spare him a glance though, he simply kept walking with the only objective of getting to one of the free showers that were at the end of the room. No matter how much he wanted to ignore the guy that had complimented him, Jongho knew that would get him in trouble, so he forced a small smile up to his lips and faintly nodded his head to let the guy know he acknowledged him.

"It’s the best way to kill some time in here" He answered to nobody in particular, stopping as soon as he got the free shower that would belong to him for the few minutes he would take. There was some faint muttering when some of the guys agreed with him as he turned on the water, letting everybody know that he wasn’t up for some conversation.

Luckily everyone got the hint and went back to their respective conversations, leaving him out of them.

Some would define Jongho as an antisocial, he was not a person that socialized with everybody, in fact, he had to change his nature a little bit in order to survive in this place. As in schools, the people in prison divided themselves in different groups depending on their personality or on what they have done but Jongho had been quick to notice that loyalty wasn’t something that was spared in this place, in fact, it was something pretty rare to find. Inmates always wanted to be on the good list of the strongest one no matter what group he was in, they would betray whoever they had to for a little favor and information, gossip as Hoseok used to call it, was gold in here. 

That’s why, despite how many years Jongho had spent locked, the only person he trusted was Mingi and that was only because they were in the same gang. He knew the guy would never betray him but he couldn’t say the same about people like Yoongi or Hoseok. They were valuable friends but they always sold themselves to the best bidder.

“Jongho” 

Mingi’s voice brought him out of the small trance he had put himself into, his eyes slowly rising from the floor to meet his friend’s. Now, Mingi was usually one of the few people that somehow managed to remain happy behind bars, not because he enjoyed living in the place they were locked in but because he prefered staying positive. It helped him get through the boring routine of their everyday life.

“Mingi!” 

Hoseok was quick to follow him, both of them taking the showers near Jongho’s so the three of them could participate in the conversation. Mingi glared at their interruption, frowning softly, letting the male know he really wasn’t interested in whatever gossip he was about to spill but Hoseok ignored him, not walking away.

Guess whatever Mingi had to say would have to wait until they were alone.

“Are you guys signing up for The Ring?” He asked, Mingi rolled his eyes and turned back to face his shower obviously frustrated and not willing to talk about this. “I’ve heard they’re looking for some new fighters since some of them have….”

“We’re not interested in that” Jongho cut him off quickly, The Ring was definitely something Mingi and he didn’t need in their life, no matter how many privileges the guards gave you, they both knew it wasn’t as worthy as it sounded.

“Jaehyun might join” Hoseok said, eyes carefully trained on Jongho since he knew they didn’t get along well “Thought that if one of you joined it could make things pretty interesting, you know, since your gangs are-”

“We’re not getting in The Ring Hoseok” Mingi intervened this time, voice serious and deep, lowkey threatening him in case he decided to insist “Whoever told you we were interested was wrong, look for someone else” Jongho nodded quietly to his friends words, getting rid of the soap that he had spread on his skin and hair as Hoseok simply stared at them quietly.

“Well, if you guys hear of somebody that is interested you know where to find me”

Hoseok then proceeded to walk away, leaving the two friends alone once again. Mingi watched their surroundings, making sure there was nobody dangerous nearby that could hear him and Jongho talk before opening his mouth again.

“I was at the-”

Two loud knocks interrupted him, making Mingi sighed in frustration since that sound meant it was time for them to get out of the shower and start their daily duties.

Guess what Mingi had to tell him would have to wait for a bit longer.

Most of the day passed uneventfully, it was rather calm and you didn’t have anything better to do than keep rearranging your entire workspace, it almost looked like a new place and you couldn’t be happier with the result. 

You got rid of the old and worn out curtains that had been covering the only source of natural light the infirmary had, the window was not too big and the bars behind the glass didn’t make it too cozy but you still thought it was better to leave it uncovered. Thanks to Mingi, the two of you had managed to make the blood stains on the walls disappear with a method he seemed to know pretty well, you never asked how he knew of it, you were sure you didn’t want to know the answer to that question. You also cleaned the entire room, there wasn’t any dust on the furniture anymore and everything smelled like clean. Some of your titles that you achieved in your student years hung on the wall and a family picture along with a cactus you adored decorated your new desk, you didn’t know if you were allowed to bring that kind of stuff into the infirmary but you had already done it. Since everything was cleaned enough, you only had to make a list of the materials and medicines you would need. Some of them had been in the cabinets but were already expired and others were needed to be bought, hopefully there weren’t too many, despite your boss saying he would buy you whatever you needed, you felt a bit bashful to start asking for stuff.

You were scribbling down the name of an ointment you would surely need in case one of the inmates burned themselves when a couple of knocks broke the silence of the room. Mingi informed you yesterday that he wouldn’t be able to help you out today because he had some activities to do, even though he was supposed to work with you, he was still an inmate and he had a schedule to follow, so you were slightly curious to see who was opening your door at the moment.

Maybe this would be your first patient? 

What you honestly didn’t expect was Wooyoung, your high school friend, walk into the infirmary dressed with his guard uniform. Your heart skipped a beat, this could either complicate your plan a lot more or make it easier, it all depended on his attitude towards Jongho.

“(Y/N)” 

His voice was quiet, almost a faint whisper as if he was afraid of scaring you away if he talked too loud. Wooyung’s eyes were glued to you, scanning your features while he slowly stepped inside, he probably was as surprised as you to find you in a place like this, Wooyoung knew you well enough to know working in a prison was way out of your comfort zone. 

“H-Hey” 

You stuttered, standing up from the floor to place the list you had been making on your desk. As soon as the paper abandoned your hand, Wooyoung reached out and tugged on your wrist hard enough to bring you closer to his body, wrapping his arms around you.

Things between the two of you had never been easy, Jongho always said Wooyoung wanted to be more than a simple friend and despite you laughing as if he was joking, you had also noticed the way he looked at you, the way he used to be so gentle and careful around you and how your opinion was the only one that mattered to him. This was also the reason why he and Jongho never got along, your childhood friend never liked him completely, Jongho never trusted Wooyoung like you did and he never hid it. Wooyoung only saw Jongho as an obstacle, he always thought he was the reason why you would never date him.

Maybe he was right.

This wasn’t the time to think about this anyways. Jongho and you were never able to date because he went to jail and when that happened, you isolated yourself and only dedicated your time to try to find the way of getting him out of jail legally, letting the friendship you and Wooyoung had get cold.

“When I saw the name of the new nurse I couldn’t believe it was you!” Wooyoung moved back enough to allow his eyes to scan your face once again, almost as if he couldn’t believe the two of you had crossed paths after so many years. A soft blush made its way up to your cheeks, the corner of your lips tilted upwards. “I mean, it’s been so long...And you’re just...You”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at his words, not surprised by what he said “Yeah, still boring old me” Your reply made him frown but you shrugged nonchalantly.

“I meant you still look beautiful, you idiot” He flicked your forehead, not leaving you time to be stunned at his blunt confession. Wooyoung had always been like this, he was never shy when it came to complimenting you, not even when people were around and that was something that always got on Jongho’s nerves. 

“And you’re still so brown-nosing” You replied jokingly, rolling your eyes playfully as he chuckled “I kind of missed it, I don’t know how my self-esteem survived without you all this years” This time the two of you laughed and for a second you forgot where you were, it honestly felt as if you were back in high school, chatting between classes with him. 

“God, I missed those days” Wooyung said with a dreamy smile, leaning back against your desk as he looked at you. He hadn’t changed one bit, if so, Wooyoung looked even more handsome now that some years have passed and he was way more mature than when you two were teenagers “When we only had to worry about exams”

“And not getting caught when we sneaked out of our houses” You added chuckling, making him smile too

“Oh god, I still remember that time my mom walked into my room right when Jongho-”

As soon as his name was mentioned, the atmosphere in the room turned cold. Despite the two of them being really good friends at the beginning, Jongho and Wooyoung were meant to not end up well, especially considering their choice of career. While Wooyoung worked to put people like Jongho behind bars, Jongho worked hard to avoid people like him.

They were destined to not like each other, life worked like that.

Wooyoung glanced at you quietly, hesitance obvious in his face “Have you seen him?” He asked quietly, hands resting in his pockets casually.

“Not yet” You replied with a small smile. However, when you realized you had walked straight into his trap your heart started beating faster but you tried to remain as calm as you could so he wouldn’t notice it.

“So you know he’s here” Wooyoung muttered quietly, arms coming up to cross on his chest. His posture didn’t look relaxed anymore and you could see the engines in his head turning, probably coming up with different theories as to why you had chosen to work in this prison out of all places “What are you doing here, (Y/N)?”

“Working” You scoffed, laughing it off as if you hadn’t noticed how tense the atmosphere was between the two of you, maybe Wooyoung hadn’t noticed either “Why do you think I’m here?” Your question made one of his eyebrows lift, he was watching you carefully, taking in every gesture you did and every word you said.

“Isn’t it a big coincidence that you started working in the prison Jongho is locked in?” Even though he was right, you couldn’t help but frown, acting offended at his indirect accusation.

“I could say the same thing about you, couldn’t I?” You instantly replied, maybe a bit too quick but at least it was enough to make him back off

“Touché” He simply replied, shrugging as his eyes moved away from you to scan the office “Nice little space you got here” His usual, easy-going smile had finally returned and you let your guard down once again, still acting defensive would only make him even more suspicious about everything.

“Yeah, I had to work my ass off to-”

Your words got cut off when Wooyoung’s walkie talkie started making some noise, you tried to listen in to what the person on the other line was saying but you couldn’t understand anything, it sounded like an entire different language. 

“(Y/N) come on” Wooyoung started walking suddenly, motioning you with his head so you would follow him “You might have some work to do after all”

Even though you hadn’t understood whatever the other person had told Wooyoung through the walkie talkie, you were guessing someone must have hurt themselves if they needed you. With a quiet nod and not asking any questions, you started following him out of the infirmary and through the different halls the prison had, some cells were empty which made you guess that it was probably the time of the day when inmates were busy doing something or outside having a break. Wooyoung didn’t say a word, he was pretty quiet and there was no way of knowing if it still was because of the small yet tense moment the two of you had or because he was simply focused in his work, keeping an eye out for the two of you.

It wasn’t until you reached the door that led to the outside area that you started feeling a bit nervous. One thing was to treat one of them in your infirmary but working out there, surrounded by them was totally something else. What if they tried any funny business?

“What happened?” You asked quietly, eyes searching the area as you tried to distract your mind.

“Someone got hurt playing basketball” Wooyoung sighed tiredly when the two of you walked outside, your eyes found the small group of inmates surrounding someone on the floor, you could hear his grunts full of pain from where the two of you were “There you have your first patient”

Despite you instantly noticed how the bone in his knee wasn’t where it should be, your eyes instantly drifted apart to the person you’ve been dying to meet since you knew you were going to work here. There, dressed in all orange and looking stronger than ever stood your childhood friend Jongho, the one that had literally saved your life. 

He hadn’t changed one bit, Jongho looked exactly like he did four years ago, although there were some black bags under his eyes and his hair wasn’t as styled as it used to be back in your high school days but for an inmate? He had managed to take care of himself pretty well in a place like this. Your stomach turned into knots as soon as you realized his attention was on you and for a second, the whole world froze around you two.

The first thing you noticed was the confusion on his face, given away by the little wrinkles that appeared on his forehead as soon as his eyes landed on you, and then his entire face changed to a surprised one. You could feel his eyes scanning you from head to toe, taking in every single detail, the smile that appeared on his face when he saw your uniform, when he realized you had finished the career you’ve always wanted to study, didn’t go unnoticed. 

And then your eyes met and you swore your heart stopped beating too.

He mouthed a silent hello that made you smile, which only made him smile bigger and suddenly you felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from your shoulders.

He was glad to see you. Jongho didn’t hate you.

You felt the need, the urge to head over where he was and wrap your arms around him, keep him close to you so nobody could ever take him away but you managed to control himself when you saw how Mingi was holding him back from doing the same. Thanks God he was responsible, getting a hug from the guy that was locked in because he killed your abusive father in front of your work mates and other inmates was probably not the best idea.

You hadn’t been careful enough though and Wooyoung had instantly noticed how you slowed down your pace when your eyes landed on him, the little smiles you sent each other were also caught by his eyes.

“(Y/N)?” Wooyoung called out your name forcing you to move your eyes away from him and back to the patient you were supposed to attend. “Is it too bad?” He asked, willing you to focus on something else.

Clearing your throat, you moved your eyes back down to the guy on the floor, his knee was definitely broken and he needed to go on a small trip to the hospital to get that fixed, there was nothing you could really do for him.

���He needs a doctor, there’s nothing a could do here” You muttered, looking down at him, feeling Jongho’s eyes on you “I could give him something for the pain but I think it’s better if we wait for the ambulance” You told him, glancing at Jongho who had moved closer to where you were.

“Alright guys, time to go back inside, no more play time for today” Wooyoung said out loud, eyes trained on Jongho before he dragged them back to you “You go back to the infirmary, we’ll take care of this” 

“Can I just-”

“(Y/N)” Wooyoung’s tone turned authoritative, letting you know he wouldn’t budge in your request just because the two of you were friends “Back to the infirmary”

And just like that, Jongho yand you were forced to go separate ways once again.

This time you had been so close though.

So close yet so far.

Tag list! : @guess--monster​ @cometoceantrenches​ @lovelyvitamin​ @daintysan​

[pit-and-the-pen]

25 and 54 from the prompt list you posted with Neville Longbottom please? If you don't write for Neville, could I get Ron maybe? Thankyou!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “I don’t trust myself around you”

“I’m sorry but it’s very hard to focus when you’re dressed like this

A/n I tried to make this  longer as a sorry of this taking so long to get out. Hope you like it, lovely!

Also, I know I write the whole “I don’t think I’m enough” troupe with Slytherin! Readers. It’s mostly because I want to remind yall that no matter what people think you are all wonderful people and I’m sorry if it doesn’t come off like that. But that’s what I was trying to do. I promise

-Queen of taking should be suggestive lines and making them anything but. 

Taglist:@thoseofgreatambition @ickle-ronniekins @summer-writes @obsessedwithrandomthings @harrysweasleys

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You’re Too Sweet- Neville x Reader

To say this year sucked would be the biggest understatement in all of history. Hogwarts resembled a prison more than a school and every time you walked under the “educational decrees”, you felt yourself wanting to scream. 

The one highlight was that Harry had started to teach some people and you were actually learning a lot from him. Plus you got to see your friends without that miserable toad looming over you. Speaking of which, you definitely had some homework you needed to do for defense. 

Packing up your bag, you decided to head over to the library. Hoping that will give you any motivation to do your work. 

Walking in, it seems like every single other student had the same idea as you. All the tables are filled. You groan and start scanning the room, looking for anyone you knew and could sit with. 

That's when your eyes spot Neville sitting all by himself. The two of you had started hanging out at DA meetings and he was really sweet, and when he wasn’t stumbling over his words, as adorable as that was on its own, he was really funny. Turns out the two of you both really like herbology and find that a common topic to always talk about. He seemed to have every book on plants memorized and it was always really interesting to hear what he has to say. 

“Hey. Care if I join you.” You whisper and he jumps before looking up. “Sorry” You say trying to hold back laughter.

“Uh. Hi y/n..Ye..Yeah. Of course.” He stammers and closes a couple books to make room for you. You smile at him as a silent thank you and set all of your stuff down. 

The two of you sit in silence, the only sound is papers shuffling and quills scratching on parchment. Finally, you finish the essay you’ve been working on and you deflate in your chair. Neville looks up at you, raises an eyebrow before he looks back down at whatever he’s working on with a slight smile. You give his foot a gentle little tap underneath the table and he looks up at you again.

“It’s getting late. Maybe it’s time we called it a night?” You say noticing how it’s just the two of you in the library. “At the very least, I’m going to leave.” 

“Wow. Didn’t realize I’ve been in here for that long.” His eyes are a little hazy and you reach over and close the book he was reading. The front has a picture of a very intricately carved tree. It’s not one you’ve seen before. 

“Yeah. It’s definitely time to wrap up.” You say with a laugh at his dazed expression. The two of you pack up as quickly as possible, both not wanting to get caught around this late at night. 

“Do you want me to walk you back to..?” He asks trailing off at the end. Every now and then he seems to remember that you’re a Slytherin and trips over himself when he does remember. 

“That's sweet, but I think I’ll be good. Have a good night Neville.” You say softly. He just smiles and waves as you walk away. It might be the long night but you swear you hear him mumble “I guess there are good ones after all.” 

You decide to brush it off and try to keep the tiny out the tiny skip those words threaten to add to your step. 

You knew you were in deep trouble. The smile that you couldn’t wipe off your face evident of that. But was it really that bad if you were falling for Neville?

Tension just seemed to keep rising throughout the castle as Umbridge kept cracking down and O.W.Ls fastly approaching. The only thing that made it any bit bearable was DA. It’s not because you get to see Neville

You kept trying to say to yourself. 

A few of your friends started to notice you two sitting in the library all the time now and how you were always waving at him, blushing like crazy when he looked away. 

“Of all the people. Really?” One of them commented which you just responded with “piss off”. You knew it was probably useless anyways. The odds of him, basically the poster boy for a perfect Gryffindor would never see you that way. That feeling would always hang around in your gut but you tried so hard to ignore it. 

You finally reached your breaking point one day, in DA you all were practicing simple disarming spells. After Neville finally seemed to be getting the hang of it, Harry decided to pair you two up to work on it a little more. 

“Expelliarmus” He tried again, voice shaky. Nothing happened. You tried not to focus on how his voice sounded. You were used to nervous Neville, but he sounded 

That probably hurt more than anything he could ever do with a wand. You fire the spell back at him and his wand goes soaring backwards. 

“Maybe I just need a new partner?” Neville says to Harry as he comes up to see what the issue is. 

That was it. You’ve had it.

“Damnnit, Neville. Why won't you duel with me?” You all but scream. “If this is because I’m a sl..” 

“I don’t trust myself around you” Neville shouts over you, effectively stopping whatever you were going to say. The whole room goes silent. Neville never raised his voice, they all seemed just as shocked as you were. He obviously meant it in the most innocent way possible but your cheeks still redden. “I’m miserable at all of this and I don’t want to hurt you if I do it wrong.” He continues. 

Your eyes flicker over to Harry and he tries to redirect the group's attention as you walk over to Neville. 

“You’re not miserable. You just don’t trust yourself. Plus, if something happens, I heal.” You say, trying to hide the fact that you’re just happy it’s not because he thinks you're going to hurt him. In fact it’s the exact opposite. 

“You’re actually doing really well. Up until you got paired with me, you were nailing it every time.” You say grabbing his arm lightly. “Just pretend I’m like everyone else.” Winking as you say this, you catch a glimpse of his ears getting pink. 

“I really don’t think I can do that.” There's no way he just said that. Your whole face heats up and you're thinking of something witty to respond with when Harry dismisses everyone. 

“That’s all for today. Good work today.” He says and starts to walk over to where the two of you are both still frozen. 

“Everything okay?” He says, looking to Neville. When neither of you respond, he looks at you and all you can do is nod. Sensing there’s something going on, Harry crosses his arms.

“Neville?” He says, a little more serious. You look at him and he just has this mortified look on his face and something in you breaks a little. Snapping you out of whatever fantasy you thought you were living in.

“Yeah. Harry, everything is fine.” Even you can hear the iciness of your voice. “Don’t worry. I know you didn’t mean it like that.” The tears are burning in your eyes and you have to get out of there before you start crying. 

“y/n!” Neville calls out as you grab your bag to get the hell out of that room. You pick up your speed as you feel the first tear drip down your face. 

“Y/n! Please!” He calls one more time. You freeze and turn around to see him running after you. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you upset.” He says, panting as he catches up with you. That makes you let out a mix between a sob and a laugh.

“You didn’t make me upset. No. I did. For thinking this could be a thing.” The tears were falling faster than you could wipe them away. 

“What do you mean?” His voice is small, smaller than you’ve heard before.

“I don’t know. I just got my hopes up for a second that maybe you felt the same way about me.”

“Yo...You. Like. Me?” Every word punctuated. 

“Would I be sitting here crying like this if I didn’t.” You take a deep breath and try to calm yourself down. “Don’t worry about it. It’s not your fault. You were just being kind like you always are.” A laugh slips out and it’s a genuine one. Realizing just how crazy it had been to think something would come of this. 

You turn to walk away when you feel him grab your hand.

“Please tell me you're serious. Like you’re not just messing with me?” His voice is shaky, like earlier. You only shake your head to let him know you were, in fact, far from messing with him. 

He lets out a deep breath and you see him visibly relax, he lets go of your arm.

“When I let that slip out earlier, you just froze. I thought I had read the whole situation so wrong and felt awful. Then you snapped at Harry and I just didn’t know what to think.” He starts to ramble. 

“OKay now you have to be messing with me.” You interrupt him.

“Y/n/ I’ve liked you since I first saw you. I just never thought you would notice me.” You can tell he’s serious. “You started talking to me in club and I knew it was only a matter of time until you saw how utterly pathetic I was.” You decide to just go for and leave a soft kiss on his lips to stop that sentence. It was short and sweet but it made you both smile. 

“Let me take you to hogsmeade this weekend to make up for all of this. For making you cry.” He says after a few seconds of you two just staring at each other. The only thing you trust yourself to do is nod and the smile you get in return could knock you off of your feet. 

You feel so stupid. Somehow your friends were actually really excited for you and spent most of the day playing dress up with you. Settling on a too-low-cut for your liking sweater dress with some tights underneath. It was winter afterall. Your friends refuse to let you walk by yourself and the whole time you just feel the nervous butterflies in your stomach and you are starting to regret the whole thing. You’re just waiting for the moment when you wake up and realize this whole thing was going to be a cruel dream. 

When you get to the door of the three broomsticks, you freeze. Your friend shooting you a concerned look. 

“You can always turn back around.” Your best friend chimes.

“No. No. I want to, just..Do I look okay?” You can't keep the nervousness out of your voice. 

They all just laugh and open the door as you walk into the warm crowded bar. 

Neville is sitting with someone, talking. You catch his eyes and you see him freeze. 

You shoot him a smile and the guy he was sitting with, who you vaguely think is Dean Thomas, nudges him on the shoulder before getting up to go sit with whoever he came with. 

Your friends giggle behind you and go grab a table somewhere else.  

“Hi.” You giggle at his still shocked expression. 

“Hi.” He says back, standing up. You unbutton your coat and he asks you what you want to drink. Responding back with butterbeer, he smiles and you sit down. Looking for your friends, they all shoot you a double thumbs up and you laugh again. 

He comes back with two tankards of butterbeer. He looks up at you and suddenly seems to trip over nothing. Spilling both of them onto the floor. You laugh before going over to him and offering a hand to help him up. 

“I’m sorry but it’s very hard to focus when you’re dressed like that.” He exclaims and you blush. As he stands up, you give him a quick peck on the cheek.

“You’re two sweet.” He gives you a big dopey smile and you laugh, nudging him with your shoulder. 

“I’ll grab the butterbeers this time.” He laughs and you go up to grab a replacement for the two glasses. When you look back at him, you notice him watching you. 

You could definitely get used to this.

[ectonurites]

a very very genuine question: so its bad to repost art but no one says anything when people repost things from the source material/creator's sketches.....why?like sure everyone who likes it may recognize the style but there are plenty of fan artists i recognize immediately, new or old art, with or without. to me it just feels the same, like either dont repost art or people should be able to repost stuff, i dont see how they can work at the same time. and this isnt me saying people should be allowed to repost and all that bc i do understand the theory of why reposting hurts artists, just that the logic doesnt seem to fit once it extends to famous artists/creators. just bc its official and easily recognizable makes it okay? how does that work? again, there are plenty of fanartists who are easily recognizable and lose no money when people repost their work (bc they posted it for free) and from my own observation, it seems it just, somehow, makes them want to do art less (from what i have read from artists themselves). why do we not consider that when it comes to official creators? wouldnt they also feasibly be less motivated seeing their hard work plastered across the internet for free when thats the sole way they make their income? and its not a system where its solely sticking it to the man bc it hurts the artists income, as well. but if it makes them happy to see people enjoying and sharing their work with others, drawing interest, why isnt it the same with fan artists? people often repost art, not out of malice or intent to claim credit, but bc they enjoy it + want to share it, esp on social media where sharing isnt a feature (instagram, for example) again im not trying to justify reposting, just confused about the contradiction

First of all instagram does have a form of sharing posts- stories. Which yes they are temporary by default, but you can use the highlight feature to collect your favorite things you’ve shared from people right there on your own profile AND it links back to the original post and can permanently be on your profile as long as you keep it there. You can even label them and everything! But then moving on to answering more of your actual questions

To start: this is a very complicated thing. And I feel everyone trying to answer it might have slightly varied opinions. 

I personally see a pretty clear distinction between ‘Officially published/released’ works (like comic book [as like you’ve probably seen I frequently post comic panels] or other materials that may have been released in creator guides, official video game art, promotional art for things, etc etc) as opposed to like, personal work and fanart. Because with official works:

There’s usually a source to buy it and you should if you’re referencing it a ton (while I don’t own every comic I’ve ever read I do have a lot and if I did read something first through illegal means [because some comics are just straight up hard to find due to age/being out of print] and enjoyed it I try to seek out a physical copy after if possible)

There is a level of far wider recognition (I know you personally might find fanartists’ styles recognizable but like, things that are in mainstream media.. have just such a higher profile. it’s not really comparable) 

If you’re not supporting the official release you’re harming the big company that published it far more than the individual artist (like, the individual artist probably also wouldn’t appreciate it, because it can effect them for sure as well, but they’re not gonna be taking the brunt of the damage unless it was entirely self-published work, which I’d definitely categorize differently from what I’m mainly talking about here.)  

Often fanartists/professional artists who aren’t that well known, in addition to wanting to just create work for the sake of it, also want to build their own platform, to have an audience that they interact with. Or like, if they’re offering commissions, a bigger platform puts you in a position where people will actually see the art and want to commission you. When you say reposts of smaller artists’ fanart doesn’t ‘loose them money’ because they didn’t charge to post it, you’re missing the fact that it makes them loose out on proper linked-back-to-them exposure. Especially like, when a repost account on insta or something says ‘ah yes credit to [username] on tumblr’ the vast majority of people who see it aren’t going to then open up a whole different website and look for the artist. Some people might! but if there’s anything i’ve learned from working professionally in arts marketing it’s that people want things that are convenient and directly in front of them. Someone who wants to see more works because they liked one is significantly more likely to click on the username of someone who posted it rather than opening up a browser or a different app and searching a separate name put in the caption. 

Then honestly, I do feel weird about reposts of professional artists’ more personal works unless the artist has stated they’re fine with people reposting with credit. It should be about the comfort level of the artist. I think a lot of professional artists who aren’t in a position where they’re as worried about building a platform, because they already have one and might have professional connections/opportunities already lined up, might not really care about reposts especially on a website they don’t use. (Like tumblr. I’m coming at this mostly from a comics artist perspective here, but most professional artists I see are waaaay more active on twitter and instagram than tumblr) If it’s a website they don’t use, it’s not taking away from the platform they had been building there for themselves. And also, some artists really just don’t give a shit, which is their choice they can make with their work! But that’s not a universal thing. One artist being fine with their personal art being reposted =/= all artists being fine with it. 

In my own experience as a fanartist, when I see my art reposted without credit, especially when it’s art I’ve also already posted on the same platform... it’s definitely disheartening. Even worse is when the repost gets even more attention than my original post. (something that has happened to me multiple times!) Like, it can get so upsetting!  Because it lets me know that someone else was using my art to build their platform and I got exactly zero benefit out of it. Then when it’s reposted with credit it’s a little less annoying, but I still don’t... get much out of it. Especially if it’s an instagram repost and they credit my tumblr not my account on there, since insta captions don’t actually do links unless it’s to other insta accounts. Also with insta for example, I have a 'business’ account set up so I can look at and track popularity of my posts and see how they’re doing as something to keep in mind when considering posting times, etc etc. When other people repost my art there I have no control over it. That sucks a lot! Also, when I quite literally ask people not to repost my art (it is IN! MY! DESCRIPTION!) and they still do, it’s just straight up disrespectful. I asked for a boundary to be respected with my work and people have just completely ignored it. That doesn’t feel good at all.

But, conversely, I’m gonna talk about my more professional irl work for a sec. I’m a graphic designer, so I do things like posters, logos, etc, When I design a poster for a client that is meant to be advertising something, even if it’s got my own original illustration or something as part of it, I know my name isn’t necessarily going to be attached to it the same way as it is with my personal work. I get a credit line somewhere, but that’s in a fine print probably not even on the poster itself at all, but that’s like, part of what I signed up for. I already get paid separately, I am giving permission for my work to be out of my own hands in that way. Professional work for a client is often setup in some way similar to this. I don’t get mad when I walk down the street and see a poster I made up somewhere without it directly ‘linking’/referencing back to me (aside from maybe my signature if it had an illustration), in fact I go ‘OMG ITS THERE ugh wait i see one pixel is off oh noooooo” and then move on with my day. It’s just an entirely different situation because that kind of work has a different arrangement from the start, where you know it’s going to be put in a different type of circulation.

So yeah, my word isn’t god here, but I definitely see official releases as having a different set of permissions based on the fact that they are published in an entirely different situation. And I think reposts of personal art aren’t cool if the artist isn’t okay with them, no matter how big a platform they have. Other people probably approach this with a slightly different perspective, but that’s mine!

[deardragonbook]

BetaBooks Experience

So, you heard of BetaBooks? 

It’s a program for beta reading your book. As you may know, I write books, it’s a thing, not my profession or anything, it’s actually quite expensive and addictive and perhaps beginning to be a problem (I am joking) but it’s definitely a thing I do. 

And one of the important steps to getting a book out there, is beta reading. 

For my first book I gave pdfs to some and printed (like on A4 printer paper, nothing cool) copies to others. The pdfs got barely any comments, just a general opinion at the end. That was still very helpful! I’ve said it before on many platforms, but I’ll say it again, hearing the first beta reader, who read the whole thing in two days, fangirling over the characters and world had me nearly in tears and motivated me to keep going much further than I probably would have without it. 

And my grandmother was an English teacher, so she really helped with grammar and spelling! 

But I want to take this seriously. So I knew I wanted a bigger more varied group for my second book. So, I’m using BetaBooks to help. And here are a couple of things I’ve noticed. 

PROS 

-Being able to filter feedback. You can filter by user, chapter and marks. You can also search keywords. This is really cool because you could go say to chapter 2 and see everybody’s feedback. Or perhaps there’s one person who’s feedback isn’t relative to this chapter (for whatever reason), you can get rid of that. 

It’s definitely a comfortable feature that helps. 

-I find inline commenting really useful. Browsing my chapter and seeing the highlighted text that informs you of a comment, hovering over it and seeing who’s it is and what it is. It just works really well for me. It helps me to understand what’s going on. 

-Reader directory. Basically a place where you can browse through beta readers, read what they’re into and whatnot and send them a preview and synopsis of your book. I currently have two beta readers from this option. It’s a useful feature. (Editing Hannah here, although I do have two beta readers from this option, neither of them have actually started reading so perhaps this feature isn’t as useful as I thought). 

CONS 

-So, with your own comments or notes you can mark them as unmarked, ignore, consider, to-do, done or keep. This is really useful. However, I can’t mark the comments that my betas have added with this same tags. Which would be really useful! But no, I can’t do that... 

-I can’t respond to inline comments. Instead you have to reply via an end of the chapter discussion. Not a big deal with most beta readers of mine who don’t comment too much, but I have one who will leave like 72 comments on a chapter (he is the most amazing beta reader one could ever dream off), but it’d be nice to respond to individual comments so that things are easier to understand without me having to first specify which comment I’m referring to before, responding. 

-This isn’t a big deal but I do find it super annoying, so, on your track readers page, it shows you what chapter a reader is on and which version of that chapter. It’s a useful feature because it also shows how many comments they did on that chapter and some other stuff. But bellow that is the list of your readers, and it includes the last time they connected. Why do I need to know this? I don’t. And I don’t care. I’d rather they remove it. Not because I feel like a stalker just by having this information, but because it’s not even correct. I was so confused when someone had last been connected the day before I actually sent out invites to beta readers. 

I think it looks a the local timezone of the reader. But because I of course don’t know what timezone everybody lives in, it’s absolute useless information. Other than the fact that one of my readers either went to bed really late or got up really early to read this book. I know what it’s like to get stuck in a fantasy world while reading but I hope you get some more sleep. 

-It gives me the option to do questionnaires, useful, right? Except, it’s just another block of text just like every other chapter. And people can respond in the same way. So this feature is... literally useless. Maybe it doesn’t count towards the word count of your book? It’s the only thing I can imagine this being useful for. 

-It limits you to 20 readers per book. Which is a lot. But if like me you’re a new author, you don’t really have a reliable team and although I have some amazing readers, most have accepted the invitation but not actually read anything, meaning the slot is taken up but I don’t get feedback. This is something you should probably consider if like me you’re new. 

I know the cons list seems bigger. That’s because it’s easier to talk about the problems and the things I wish were better. Despite this, I do think beta books is working well for me. Especially in-line commenting, I just love reading through a chapter and hovering over text to see people’s reactions. It’s also way more comfortable to send out an invitation than to send emails and stuff. 

Also, I’m beta reading another person’s book right now and I can say that the user experience on an ipad is good as both a writer and reader! 

As usual,  check out my socials and book here.

Have you ever done beta reading? As an author or a reader? How was your experience? 

[i-believe-in-soriku]

Essay Part 2: The Deepest Relationship

Now that I have explained how Riku is a strong character with is OWN development and his OWN personanity, I can talk about his relationship with Sora. Sora is also a developed character, even if his evolution is less spectacular than Riku's. I'm not here to talk about Sora so I'll probably give you links to wonderful analysis I've read.

If I mention that, it's because I want to point at something which is very important in terms of writing. To write a relationship between two characters (or more, but here it's two), the two characters involved must be developed. That's important to understand the dynamics between them, why they like each other, why their relationship exists and why it works. And this rule applies to all kinds of relationships.

Indeed, those conditions are filled with Sora and Riku's relationship.

Actually, the producer himself admits that their relationship is the very heart of the series:

"The fact is that the main focus of the series is Sora and Riku; how their friendship develops, but also how they grow up."

Now, let's see how their relationship works. Because it works. Whether you see it as friendly or romantic doesn't matter, it works the same.

The two of them were childhood friends. It is told in BBS and KH: they used to spend all their time together, inventing stories and dreaming about adventures. They kind of promised to protect each other at the really early age of 4 and 5.

Aqua: Sora, do you like Riku?

Sora: Of course I like him, he's my best friend!

Aqua: Good. So then, if something happens, and Riku is about to get lost--or say, he starts wandering down a dark path alone--you make sure to stay with him and keep him safe. That's your job, Sora, and I'm counting on you to do it, okay?

*Sora nods*

As they grew up, a distance has settled between them. I have already talked about what caused that distance. KH is not the best moment of their friendship but, believe it or not, it is essential to its development. Both guilt and love pushed Riku to seek to make amends with Sora, to protect him:

Sora, on his side, wasn't resentful against Riku at all -all he wanted was to find his friend back and make things the way they were before.

But it soon became clear to them that such a thing was impossible. Too many things had changed due to Riku's actions and the hardships they had to face. They had to stick the pieces back, and tried their best to do so. Sora tried to find back Riku during CoM and KH2.

Sora (beginning of KH2): Well, I'm gonna go look for Riku. Then he and I can go back to the islands together.

Riku tried to help Sora recover his memories and he watched his friend during his sleep.

And it didn't mattered to them that one year has passed, their goal never changed. When Sora woke up, Riku kept on protecting him, Sora kept on searching for him. Both of them wanted to recover something that mattered to them - that is to say, their best friend. Is it forced? No. It follow the events of KH. It is the consequence of what happened before.

When they finally find each other during the events of KH2, the feelings expressed by Sora (happiness, relief) and by Riku (shame, doubt) underline how much they care about each other.

Sora: Why didn't you let me know you were okay?

That's not like Sora's and Kairi's reunions, where all we can see is a promise - something that Sora and Riku also share - and mere relief, joy. I don't say Sora is not happy to be reunited with Kairi and vice-versa. It's just that when they do, the poor development Kairi is given prevents these scenes from being as powerful as Sora's and Riku's reunion(s).

Indeed, when they found each other in KH2, after a rough fight with Xemnas, what is the first thing that happens between them?

A heart-to-heart conversation.

That is sweet, and illustrates that, yes, they share a special bond. But what I like the most with this scene in the Dark Margin, is that it's the undeniable proof of what I've said before.

Those boys are trying to line the scattered pieces of their frienship up - and the way they do it is simple, touching. They are just being honest with each other while talking about their past feelings for each other - and also the one they experience in the present moment:

Riku: What I said back there...about thinking I was better at stuff than you... To tell you the truth, Sora... I was jealous of you.

Sora: What for?

Riku: I wished I could live life the way you do. Just following my heart.

Sora: Yeah, well, I've got my share of problems, too.

Riku: Like what?

Sora: Like...wanting to be like you.

Riku: Well, there is one advantage to being me... Something you could never imitate.

Sora: Really? What's that?

Riku: Having you for a friend.

Sora: Then I guess...I'm okay the way I am. I've got something you could never imitate too.

That is so sincere that I don't get why people keep on saying that their relation is forced.

Their story, however, is not over yet. Dream Drop Distance is the the highlight for the writing of their common story. I have already written a post about their bonds in KH3D, so I'll resume what I said, and add new elements. DDD is pretty smart because it depicts the link between Sora and Riku even though they're separated during almost the whole game.

At the beginning of the game, Riku and Sora are at Master Yen Sid's Tower, and he says that they have to pass the Mark of Mastery Exam. It is really important to Riku, but for Sora, it is quite useless. Still, Sora decides to pass the exam with Riku in order to motivate and support him.

Sora: But that's a formality, right? I already proved myself. Me and the king, and Riku--we can take on anything. Right, Riku?

Riku: I don't know. I think that in my heart, darkness still has a hold. Walking that path changed me. I'm not sure if I'm ready to wield a Keyblade. Maybe I do need to be tested.

Sora: Riku... Then count me in. Put me through the test! Just watch--me and Riku will pass with flying colors!

This element shows that the two of them trust each other. Which is the proof that their conversation on that dark beach has definitely recovered their bonds - their trust in each other, the fact that they can rely on each other no matter what.

That is an evolution, not just a "return to the way it was before". Because the dynamic between them has changed. Sora is the one Riku rely on. Sora is the one "in advance". Sora is the one confident and cool. (at least in Riku's eyes). But Riku is not jealous anymore. That's different.

The game has also a lot of interesting scenes. In Traverse Town, for instance, we """learn""" (in case it wasn't clear until that moment...) that Sora is Riku's most important person.

Beat: I just...wanna protect the one person who matters.

Riku: I know the feeling.

On Sora's side, by his own words, they are always together, even when they are separated:

Sora: Don't worry. He's with me--even when it might seem like he's not.

In La Cité des Cloches, the Quasimodo/Riku parallel shows that Riku his still holding back stuff inside of him.

Quasimodo: Master Frollo--he made me live inside the bell tower, but the real walls were the ones I built around my heart. You helped me see that, Riku.

Riku: I was...speaking from...personal experience.

Given the context, it is clear that it is a reference to Riku's feelings for Sora, especially if we take a look at Quasimodo's feelings for Esmeralda, and Esmeralda's and Phœbus words.

In Monstro, Riku says that Sora is his conscience, and even talks about "his stupid grin", what's.. extremely tender?!

Jiminy: You must have somebody--a friend you can talk to?

Riku: Yeah...actually, I do. That stupid grin he's always wearing--he's the best teacher I could ever have.

The Symphony Of Sorcery is also full of elements, like the fact that Sora considers that Riku is always there for him...

Sora: Don't worry. I've got a friend out there who will help. He's always picking up the slack for me.

...which was actually proved in game:

So yeah, the game does not only say that Riku is here for Sora, it actually shows that. And the fact that they share a "heart song" is purposely here to illustrate how strong their relationship is.

Mickey: It's like each of you is holding on to a little part of the other. Your hearts are always in tune, so they're free to sing.

Mickey even says that, when they're together, their heart are "free to sing". And it is true: they can be their true selves together, they know they can trust each other, they are comfortable with each other.

Riku being Sora's Dream Eater is a major point in his character but ALSO another proof that he cares really much about Sora and that it is instinctive, natural - he doesn't even realize it until someone points out this """detail""".

Another scene that, for me, is important to proove that their relationship is NOT forced is the moment when Riku is named Master. Sora is not upset, he's sincerely happy for Riku:

Sora: I knew you were gonna pass with flying colors. This is just so awesome!

Watching his reactions, it's easy to see that he knew how important it was to Riku:

And finally, KH3 is the consequence of this development. Riku and Sora have achieved a balance together, between trust in each other and independence. In this game, Sora wants to protect Riku, Riku wants to protect Sora - and he actually found the strenght to do it. Riku cheers Sora up, believes in him, the same way Sora did for him before:

In the end, Riku is, once again, the one who's saving Sora. In fact, I would say they constantly save each other - sometimes save and being saved is the same thing.

So, yeah, I don't know if it was clear... but what I meant is that every single KH game where those boys are present - that is to say the large majority of them - shows how they both evolve individualy but also how their relationship evolves to become something better, something greater. The way it is written follows a perfect logic, a dynamic that corresponds to the state of the two characters and the context in which the action takes place.

Once again, regarding the care that is taken to tell their story, it is unfair to say that their relationship is forced. ESPECIALLY if it is compared to Sora's relation to Kairi. It is simply incomparable.

Intro • Part 1

[lgchunji]

   MERRY CHRISTMAS, LGC MEMBERS!

     merry christmas, lgc members! oops! this time you didn’t just send something to they mods, they also wanted to send something to YOU!! every single mod, below the cut, has something wonderful for you all to hear! (no, this is not the christmas present side event lol)      our mods deserve all the love in the world, but the members all deserve a little extra love too!      happy holidays and everyone have a good new years!

     admin l, writer of @lgcxjun, @lgcmiso, and @lgcnami says:      1) what is your favorite part about being a mod?      making the members happy. when we put out a new event or implement something new in the rp and members are super excited about it, that's what i like the most.      2) what is the most memorable moment from being a mod in lgc thus far?      hmm.. i think it's when we officially opened the rp for reservations and they came flooding. we weren't expecting this. we thought it would take weeks before we get enough reservations to open and were pleasantly surprised when in 48h we had the 10 minimum. we never expected to have over 50 members, either. so this whole experience has been amazing for us      3) what is the best part about lgc members/writers (characters or muns!)      seeing the characters grow right before our eyes, that's the part i love the most. seeing the progression of each and everyone of you all always make us happy. the admods are your biggest supports, i swear to god. i also love how our members aren't scared of giving ideas and participate in the growth and events of the rp! we always love incorporating our mun's ideas      4) anything else you would like to mention?      thank you for being here with us <3

     admin *, writer of @lgcdanbi​, @lgcnathan​, and @lgctaesung​ says:      1) what is your favorite part about being a mod?      oh gosh… i can’t pick just one! honestly, it’s just being able to plan and create stuff for our members with such a fun and dedicated team like the one we have here! we have so much in store for everyone, and we just hope y’all are as excited as we are for the big things to come!      2) what is the most memorable moment from being a mod in lgc thus far?: for me specifically, it had to be my *first* trimester change as the head of graphics. i literally SLAVED lmfao over our Q4 2020 graphics, and it was so nice to see how much everyone enjoyed the roleplay’s makeover. plus, now that we’re getting closer and closer to Q1 2021, i’m both excited yet SUPER nervous about the aesthetics i want to put out for lgc in the new year!      3) what is the best part about lgc members/writers (characters or muns!): character-wise, i can tell everyone is genuinely invested in their muses’ development and careers here. even though idol krps aren’t anything new, it’s such a breath of fresh air to be a part of a group where people want to see success with their muses from the very start to finish. mun-wise, it’s gotta be activity check sunday’s! seeing people’s live reactions to the queue is DEFINITELY the highlight of my week.      4) anything else you would like to mention?: we’re a small team here (but i swear it feels so much bigger!), and we dedicate a lot of our time in running lgc behind the scenes than in writing for our own characters. it can be a bit of a bummer and can definitely take a lot of muse and motivation out of you, but we’re always so appreciative of how considerate and thoughtful our members are of us. we’re not perfect—no one is!—but despite our flaws, it’s so inspiring to see a place (a home?) like lgc last for over a year and still be going on strong. and we can only thank you guys for all of that! so! thank you!

     admin g, writer of @lgchanbyul, @lgcjaesun, and @lgcyumi says:      1) what is your favorite part about being a mod?      i have a strange love for lists and stats, and so i actually really enjoy the administration part of being an admin. honestly, i would be the type of person to start a roleplay just to do the logistics lol. i enjoy helping to keep things neat and orderly, though admin a. has been doing a really great job of making my processes even better. my strong suits are not events or graphics, so i leave those tasks to the rest of the team. i think because of that, we make a really great team, and i just enjoy getting to see the fruits of our labor week after week and seeing people excited over them as well!      2) what is the most memorable moment from being a mod in lgc thus far?      there are many memorable moments, of course, and this might sound silly … but probably when we received our first application that was not from one of our og staff members. frankly, when we started this group, we were fairly certain no one would want to join, especially with so many other great roleplays around, so to have watched it grow over these last 16 months has been pretty incredible!      3) what is the best part about lgc members/writers (characters or muns!)      i wish i could give a special shoutout to each person, but that will quite literally take me a year so i apologize that i’m taking the easy road out. i think the best part about our members is just their willingness to help, whether it be helping others understand the points process, what is needed for an event, or just any of the other logistics that might lead to confusion. it puts a smile on my face to see that teamwork and selflessness exhibited by so many of you. when we mention that we’re stressed, there is never a shortage of eager hands being raised to offer help, and we always appreciate that. i think it’s not easy being a big group, and it can be easy to feel left out, so i just continue to applaud those who really help to make people feel at home!      4) anything else you would like to mention?      2020 has certainly been a wild roller coaster ride, but it’s certainly been made better by getting to write and interact with all of our members. i hope that those i haven’t had a chance to write with yet that i will get to do so soon! thank you all for your continued support and i hope everyone has a happy holidays and a happy new year! may 2021 be a better year for all of us!      thank you also to leaf for organizing this! you’re truly a trooper for putting together this special treat for our members ( and months ago for doing it for the admin staff as well )! always appreciate your thoughtfulness in spending the time to think of others. ❤️

     admin a, writer of @lgcaeri, @lgceunhye, and @lgcsanghyun says:      1) what is your favorite part about being a mod?      my favorite part is seeing people’s reactions to everything we do in lgc and using some of those elements to help build their character or celebrate their accomplishments. a good example of this are the events that have been revealed in the past and reading the reactions and feedbacks encourages us to think more about what kind of events we can make or improve on!      2) what is the most memorable moment from being a mod in lgc thus far?      i’ve only been here for a short period so i can’t quite name a lot, but the one that i can think of on top of my head is during the end of the trimester. it’s usually the busiest time for us for several reasons, but it feels the most rewarding to me personally because behind the scenes, we really try to make sure that everything goes smoothly. add that everyone is so patient during those times and we really appreciate it! i personally want to take this opportunity to thank everyone for all of the positive messages and support you have sent to us! it really means a lot to us! ❤️      3) what is the best part about lgc members/writers (characters or muns!)      i mentioned this previously in the one year anniversary post, but i would say it’s the community that has been created and developed over time. it’s gone through a lot and the fact that we’re still active now still shocks me sometimes! aside from that, i would also say reading through the solos and posts that we see on the dash (and yes, we see what is going on 👀). while there is so much that i don’t know about everyone’s muses, sometimes it’s nice to just sit back and see what everyone has been up to lately.

     admin c, writer of @lgcxking​ and @lgcjin​ says:      1) what is your favorite part about being a mod?      for me it’s seeing members get excited about events that we put out, and creating new canons based off them. i don’t think i would be able to keep being an admin if i didn’t feel this sense of wonder and excitement coming from everyone!      2) what is the most memorable moment from being a mod in lgc thus far?      i’ve probably mentioned it way too often by now, but when we created lgc we expected it to die off after a couple weeks/months. we never expected to last so long and it wasn’t easy in the beginning, but after a while, i’d say around october/november, we started welcoming a lot of new muns that have become such an integral part of the rp. the fact that we’d have enough members to form a lot more than one group for each gender is amazing in itself. and the 2020 family concert really had me realize just how far we’ve come! to see all of those muns and muses experiencing it for the first time even though they’ve been in the rp for so long and achieved so much.      3) what is the best part about lgc members/writers (characters or muns!)      i don’t want to name anyone in particular because i’d want to talk about everyone and that’s impossible, but like i mentioned above, it amazes me whenever i see everything that the muses have achieved in a year. i think i realize now just how many events we put out LMAO. some muses are fairly new but are already on future dreams or lgc girls japan, others have begun acting, producing, hosting, etc. i always love to see the very detailed plan everyone has for their characters and even though it might take a while to happen ic, it’s important to set goals! some that might not even happen in a near lgc future, but it gives such life to muses. i also love seeing friendships form, relationships grow, suddenly being on dash and realizing that a muse FINALLY confessed to another, or sometimes just discovering important information through someone else because we can’t possibly read every single thread on dash (i’d love to, though, trust me). there’s a ton of people i haven’t interacted with yet on my muses, and i would sooo love to do it but with the amount of work that goes behind the scenes… let’s just say though that we love every single muse and i’m probably a bigger fan of them than you are!!!!!      4) anything else you would like to mention?      small mention to you, leaf, for doing this! thank you for the love and care you put into these types of projects it’s very cute ;; we really liked getting messages from members last time too. also, to anyone reading this, just know that we’re glad you’ve decided to join us on this legacy journey!!!! why do i feel like i’m ending this too dryly but I LOVE YOU GUYS and thank you for all the support, patience, understanding and time investment <333

     admin y, writer of @lgcjaehwa says:      1) what is your favorite part about being a mod?      i'd say seeing members dropping random appreciation posts and messages would be my favorite part! there were times where i tend to overthink and become a mess. although it may just look like a simple ask, random messages like these really makes my day.      2) what is the most memorable moment from being a mod in lgc thus far?      my first 'project'! its something i planned all by myself and to receive positive feedbacks makes me feel proud of it! i'm usually pessimistic when it comes to myself so this is really a big deal for me. this project is not out yet but will definitely be revealed in the future ;)      3) what is the best part about lgc members/writers (characters or muns!)     the best part is of course the community!! i never expect myself to stick to a rp for this long. there is this saying, 'the muns keep the rp running'. without you guys, lgc will not be where we are today!      4) anything else you would like to mention?      i just want to say that although i'm not close with everyone, i do hope i can get to know more lovely people here! and i thank you guys for staying with us throughout this journey. i'm sure lgc will still continue to stand strongly for the months or even years to come <3

[earlgreytea68]

A Review of the Fall Out Boy Biography Inevitably Colored by Shippiness Oops But Really Mainly By My Love for Pete Wentz

I don’t even know who the audience is for this monstrosity of a review, nor do I know the audience for this biography, though, so, like, it’s fitting lololol: 

I am a new Fall Out Boy fan. I say that because, if anybody was in need of a Fall Out Boy biography, you would think it would be a new fan. AND YET. I’m not entirely sure who the market for this book is, because it isn’t really Fall Out Boy fans of any duration, because not only can everything in the book be easily located with the simplest of Google searches but also there’s so much he leaves out. And what he leaves out is just…so incredibly telling. It’s like, the facts he chooses to highlight are often pointless and random (although thanks for telling me that Pete Wentz’s jeans were so tight he had to perform without underwear, I’m going to think about that a lot now), whereas the facts he leaves out are the ones that lend both complexity and context. Like, this whole book could be Exhibit A in how malleable facts can be. Given the same set of facts, this man and I would tell two very different stories.

At least partly this is because he’s a music critic (I glean from the book) and I’m a creative writer. I believe he is a music critic because he takes care to dedicate a paragraph of musical analysis to every song on their earliest CDs (he loses interest in them over the hiatus, and more on that later). I appreciated this, because I know nothing about music, and I learned a lot about how talented Patrick Stump really is, like, not as a vocalist, because I knew that, or as a musician, because I also knew that, but as a smart, clever songwriter. I don’t know how to critique music, and I was happy this guy was full of praise for what Patrick does. He also pointed out musical hallmarks of theirs – like their tendency to drop the music suddenly for Patrick to sing an a cappella line – and that was the first time I’d ever really thought about them.

He was full of much less praise for Pete’s lyrics, though, and I think that’s because he’s a music person, not a word person. Not that he thought Pete’s lyrics were ever bad but he tended to stay very conventional about them: emo, confessional, dramatic, and ingeniously juxtaposed with Patrick’s clear-as-a-bell voice. He’s kind of obsessed with the contrast between Patrick’s voice and the lyrics he’s singing, whereas I’m much more obsessed with the contrast between Patrick himself in sweater-paws and glasses snarling, “I am your worst nightmare,” like, sweetheart, I doubt it. AND YET HE PULLS IT OFF. Like, that’s so interesting to me, how much Patrick can make himself embody Pete, that act of alchemy where he sings on his behalf, but this book talks less about that than I think it might, mostly because I don’t think this guy really wants to think too hard about how incredibly good Pete’s lyrics actually are. The thing about Pete’s lyrics – he does this, and it’s so clever, it’s killer clever – is you can read them so easily on one very obvious and expected layer, and then there’s always one or two additional meanings tucked underneath them, and you might never stop to think about them, especially if you’ve already written him off, but his lyrics reward careful study and a lot of thought, he specializes in triple entendres, a turn of phrase that spins out into so many meanings, that’s so hard to do and he makes it look so easy that it’s such a simple mistake to dismiss it, to not even see how dense his poetry is. The conventional story on Pete Wentz is he’s good at marketing – marketing the band, marketing himself – and so he spun in circles to keep the spotlight on him and away from Patrick, and that’s definitely one take, and another take would be to point out that the same whirligig sex-symbol tabloid-fodder act also had the side effect of undercutting any tendency to take Pete seriously from a literary point of view, like, so much easier to just say that, in keeping with his goth guyliner, he wept into his inkwell and scrawled messily over parchment. So anyway: criticism #1 of this book is that they should have complemented the music-critic-ness with an English major.

Criticism #2 is that I feel like people always get wrong what appeals to girls, to speak in the massive generalizations of this topic. Like, someone somewhere was like, “Hey, girls like this Fall Out Boy band, it must be because Pete Wentz is hot.” And they’re not wrong about that, exactly, but they always seem to miss how many entangled layers often come with attraction. Like, yeah, sometimes it’s just he’s got nice abs but often there’s a million other things happening there, and one thing I cannot forgive this guy for is not just his failure to engage with Pete’s lyrics on any real level, but how little he also truly examines Pete Wentz’s genuine marketing genius. He’s a music guy: His interest is clearly in Patrick, and also in Joe and Andy, because they’re musicians, and he can wax poetic about them. Pete gets his standard paragraphs: Oh, he chose the right management, the right record label, the right deal. He can pick out a good band, like Panic! or Gym Class Heroes. All of that is true, but none of it really grasps exactly how smart Pete really is. Like, the book hardly mentions at all how much Pete realized immediately the value of internet fandom. When I first fell for Pete Wentz – that first weekend I spent Googling him – what really was the death knell for me was stumbling upon the old FOB Q&As he used to run in the earliest days. And it wasn’t actually his constant leaning into the Peterick shipping with such dead-on unerring understanding of fandom that did it for me (although that was pretty charming, ngl). It was how often teenagers messaged Pete Wentz with their problems, and how patiently he took the time to respond. My boyfriend broke up with me. My grandma just died. I don’t feel like I fit in anywhere. Again and again and again, Pete Wentz took these messages and wrote out detailed, laborious responses. And I know he was a guy angling hard to be famous but not all guys angling hard to be famous realized how important something like this is, this very personal connection, like, above and beyond the bantering and the smirks, and even if you’re doing it entirely for ulterior motives, that’s a ton of emotional labor he was performing. I finished reading those Q&As and thought, God, Pete Wentz must have been exhausted.

And I’m not sure that’s something the bio ever really wrestled with, because it never really talked about that aspect of him. I don’t actually think the bio read anything Pete Wentz has ever posted online, like, not even those basic Q&As that are the easiest thing in the universe to Google, never mind the secret blogs he still has scattered all over the internet with nuggets of lyricism buried in there for Patrick to mine. It’s just so easy to buy into the Peter-Pan, devil-may-care Pete Wentz picture, and for all I know that’s the truest of the pictures, but it’s also undeniable fact that the other side to that was either really cunning and savvy or just a nice guy, and either way it’s another layer to Pete Wentz that gets short shrift in the bio. Which isn’t surprising because although the author clearly appreciates Fall Out Boy the band, the author clearly isn’t fannish at all, whereas it’s pretty abundantly clear Pete Wentz is fannish. He’s unapologetically fannish. He speaks fan language with a fluency that is hard to fake. And he’s astonishingly well-versed in tropes. He’s instinctively good at creating a good story, not just in his lyrics (although he, like Taylor Swift, is adept at tropey lyrics, so it’s no surprise they have a mutual admiration society), but in his life. In addition to the Q&As, that first weekend was full of me being like, …How is this the tropiest thing I’ve ever read??? It’s unsurprising that the bio doesn’t point out all the tropes in the Pete Wentz / Patrick Stump / Fall Out Boy story, because the author isn’t versed in tropes, but Pete Wentz definitely is. He knows how to use words, well. And you wouldn’t necessarily know it to listen to him – he babbles and uses tons of filler phrases and never, ever ask him what his lyrics are about, it’s like trying to have a conversation in Wonderland – but that’s all part of the aw-shucks-sometimes-I-scribble-some-stuff-down-Patrick’s-the-real-genius brand.

Now I am not qualified to write a Fall Out Boy biography and also I don’t know these people and also everything I do know comes from Google but that said, I feel like I do know for a fact some primary source materials that the writer just chose to leave out that really does display how malleable stories can be depending on what you highlight or not. Like, if he didn’t want to draw psychological conclusions based on the facts that’s fair enough. But he also pared back the narrative so drastically that it left off the true meat of it, like, if you read this book you would not necessarily think there was much interesting about these people, whereas if you really dig into everything they’ve got out there, well, you could start to think they’re super-interesting people. But I am a creative writer and this biographer was a music critic. He settles happily into the song analysis but I’m busy connecting dots into a narrative, and life is complicated, it is not a simple narrative, but that impulse underlies most biography, the idea that we can assemble the facts into something that has something to say about a human life. But that act really exists in how you assemble the facts.

 ~~~~~~~~TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE DISCUSSION~~~~~~~~~~~

A really good example of this is the way the biography deals with the Best Buy incident. Here are the bare facts: Pete Wentz, in a Best Buy parking lot listening to Jeff Buckley’s “Hallelujah,” took too many Ativan. In a phone call, his manager noticed he was slurring, called his parents, they rushed him to the hospital, he lived. These are the facts that the book gives you, and these are true facts.

If you want to expand slightly upon these bare facts, Pete has given many, many interviews about this incident because he is very open about mental health issues and his bipolar disorder and depressive episodes and anxiety. Pete has said that he’s not sure he was trying to kill himself so much as just make his head quiet for a little while. Pete has said he felt like he was too busy being Pete Wentz for everyone else and he just wanted to rest. These are also facts, although ones I don’t think the biographer truly believes. He does dutifully quote them but he also clearly has his own belief about how much Pete’s telling the truth. Because this is inevitable in any telling of the facts.  

If you want to expand slightly upon these facts, you could point out that Pete’s lyrics reflect how noisy his head is (“when this city goes silent, the ringing in my ears gets violent”), which might color how you understand him when he says he just wanted some peace and quiet. You might also point out that, as the bio has already said, Pete was the driving force behind the band’s strategy and it was about to culminate. You might remind the reader that Pete walked away from other possibly very successful careers to do this band (there is much made in the book of the theoretical ease with which Pete could have achieved a soccer career, which made me raise my eyebrows a bit but, you know, Patrick does say Pete’s really, really good at soccer). You might recall that Pete has these kids relying on him whose parents he literally had to persuade to trust him. You might say that so far everything had gone exactly as he planned and he just needed to stick the landing. You might mention the fact that they kept rewriting songs and rewriting songs and rewriting songs; that Pete was in such utter meltdown mode that he was sliding lyrics under Patrick’s door and then retreating, so that the rest of the band never even saw him; that they had scrapped half the album and were furiously writing new music right up until the deadline – all of which are facts not even mentioned. You might say all of those things, because they are indeed all true facts.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is appropriate at this point to note that many of these things were simply not germane to the story this biographer was telling, which was a music-critic-focused story. But these things are all incredibly germane to the story *I* would tell, about these four people who found each other, lost each other, and found each other again, and the two people at the center whose creative alchemy was by turns either too dazzling or too explosive and in both incarnations needed to find a way to balance to keep the band afloat. This is the story I would tell, but, to be totally honest, Pete and Patrick’s creative partnership doesn’t really seem to interest the writer of this book. He mentions it vaguely, in passing, once or twice, fairly standard surface proclamations about Pete handling lyrics and Patrick handling music, and Pete drawing the spotlight away from Patrick who didn’t want it. Or he’ll say that the true secret to the band’s success is Patrick’s voice and Pete’s lyrics, like Patrick could be any pretty-enough voice, which I think just isn’t true, there’s so much more to the way they clicked together. I read this great New Yorker article once about how, through history, genius exists in pairs, that often two people need to find each other to push each other to be better than they would ever be apart.

It’s fine to not want to get into that too intensely, it’s just that that means that half the story of Folie goes away, if you’re not focused on how the band was creating. Like, there’s so much about the lead-up to Folie to talk about: Patrick’s control over the music to the exclusion of everyone else, Pete’s worsening prescription pill thing, and the way that their creative partnership seemed to disintegrate while simultaneously leaving no room for Joe or Andy in the band. The book mentions really none of this – nothing about the fact that at one point they had descended into physical altercations over chord progressions; nothing about the story the producer tells that Patrick would get so frustrated after phone calls with Pete that he’d throw things around the studio; nothing about the story that Patrick once told Pete, “I don’t care, I’m going to write a song and call it ‘I Don’t Care,’” such a telling little tale when later Patrick comes to hate the song “I Don’t Care” – so the hiatus feels like it descends out of nowhere, with a paragraph about the fans not liking the album. Which, again, is a true fact, but without the other true facts of the way the entire creative process was crumbling around them, around all of them, it sounds less compelling. The bio does get into Joe wanting to flex his creative muscles more but doesn’t connect it back to the Folie era of being shut-out. The hiatus becomes entirely about Patrick not liking being booed.

Even worse to me is the book devotes a lot of time to each of their music videos, which is awesome, because their videos are important and great, but it devotes exactly zero time to the video for “What a Catch, Donnie.” And I’m so bewildered by that, you can have a field day with the symbolism in that video, even if you want to just make a true factual statement about its plot: Patrick collects all of the detritus of Fall Out Boy and all of their friends come and party with him, while Pete goes down with a sinking ship all alone, to a medley of the words he’s leaving behind. Like. That is literally what happens in this video. And then the hiatus starts. To me this is one of the most ridiculously angsty things ever, that they would go out to their own triumphs echoing back at them and the literal death of captain!Pete Wentz. To the story I would tell, this is the most germane. It merits not a single mention in the bio (other than praising the song itself for being one of the strongest on the album, and talking about the Elvis Costello cameo).

Because he’s much more interested in them musically than as people or relationships, he seems to lose interest in them post-hiatus. He details each of their hiatus-era projects with his typical attention to the music criticism side. And then he spends, like, eight pages talking about the guy who wrote the article that triggered Patrick’s “We Liked You Better When You Were Fat” blog post. I’m not even exaggerating. It’s an entire chapter dedicated to the article and the guy who wrote it. Patrick’s response is described and quoted and even praised, but not in nearly as much as detail as the original article, and Pete’s reaction to Patrick’s blog post gets literally zero attention. Which is fascinating since, in some tellings of the story, that’s the entire reason the hiatus ended. Pete has said on multiple occasions that he read the blog post and was upset Patrick was so upset and called him up and asked him to try writing with him again. But if you’re not actually interested in that creative relationship as a relationship, then you don’t see a reason to explain the motivation behind trying again.

You also don’t really see a reason to tackle why they initially struggled to get back into it. Like, truly grappling with the Pete/Patrick relationship leads to more depth than the surface “Patrick doesn’t like the spotlight, so Pete takes it for him.” That’s too simplistic a formulation, as Pete himself has said. It also discounts Patrick’s obvious dedication to Pete, his complete willingness to step in and publicly defend him on many occasions, like, Patrick’s no shy, retiring wallflower when it comes to Pete, Patrick can let loose viciously on behalf of Pete. Their protectiveness is mutual, although the public narrative often glosses over that. (In one of those “why leave that out” details, the biographer notes that Hemingway was Pete and Ashlee’s ring bearer but not that Patrick was Pete’s best man, Idk.) At any rate, I point that out because the struggle they had to find their groove writing together after the hiatus mirrored their initial struggles, to find their way into trusting each other’s strengths, but the book is just kind of like, “The first session wasn’t successful but the next session was. They were out of practice.” They weren’t out of practice with songwriting, not really, especially not Patrick – they were out of practice with each other. And that wasn’t just a hiatus-era souvenir, that went back to Folie, but we didn’t get that part of Folie.  

The biographer also, annoyingly in my view, loses all interest in them at this point. He devotes almost no time to the post-hiatus era, which is fascinating to me, since their ability to launch a comeback as successfully and relevantly as they did is striking, and to do it not by relying on nostalgia but by generating genuinely new hits with a genuinely new audience, and he’s not interested in that at all. Even worse than not being interested in this is the fact that he fails to close the Folie loop, like, he devotes lots of time to Patrick coming to hate Folie because of how much the fans hated it. Then he makes a little note, like, “Maybe someday Patrick will come to love Folie again,” or something, and the thing is, I know the book was written a few years ago now, but there was definitely stuff available about how much Folie had become a fan favorite in the hiatus years. Patrick gave an interview somewhere where he talked about the reunion show and how he read fan reviews of it and the fans were like, “They should have played more songs from Folie!” I always think at that point And then Patrick looked into the camera like he’s on The Office. But, at any rate, Patrick got to see Folie become beloved and that loop could have been closed better and he just leaves it dangling. (I’m almost like, Did he really write most of this book while they were on hiatus and then when they came back he was like, …Goddamn it?)

He doesn’t at all get into the shock of the immediate level of success of their comeback, like, that’s another thing that’s documented, that they were unsure anyone would care and they were so startled by the response that they had to actually add larger venues onto their tour because they’d thought no one would want to come to their shows. He could have talked about how people waited hours outside in the Chicago cold to get into the comeback show, how they started the show with “Thriller” and Patrick says the response was electric and it must have been amazing and he’s just not really interested in it, you can tell that he’s bored. He doesn’t talk about how Patrick hadn’t really thought about having to perform the new songs live because he didn’t think anyone would really care about the new album, so they had to really think about how they were going to make it work, and how he almost permanently damaged his voice having to sing “Alone Together” live and that’s what finally finally drove him to pursue actual voice lessons, like, he mentions none of this, he’s just like, “They wrote Save Rock & Roll, and then they wrote American Beauty / American Pyscho.” He’s just clearly, at that point, bored. Whereas in the story I would tell, that is the most satisfying part, the happy ending beyond their wildest dreams.

Okay, omg, this is SO LONG, but here are some other random thoughts:

·       He never – not once – goes back to source Pete’s lyrics to their original blog entries, which can be very interesting. This is because he’s not interested in the lyrics really, but it’s very frustrating to me because, like, SOMEBODY TAKE THESE LYRICS SERIOUSLY, PLEASE, THEY’RE SO GOOD. It also means that he misses things like “Miss Missing You” and the way it echoes Pete’s poem with the line “I miss you missing me,” like, that’s just a fact ::shrug:: He also says “Hum Hallelujah” is about teenage romance, and that is the most straightforward, surface-level reading, like, “Oh, it says ‘teenage vow in a parking lot,’ that’s what it’s about.” This pains me only because “Hum Hallelujah” might be the most perfect lyrically constructed song Fall Out Boy has, every line is golden and stuffed with meaning and emotion, and he’s just like, “teenage romance,” so dismissively, and I wince, like, “I could write it better than you ever felt it” is a line that deserves more than that. Not to mention “I love you in the same way there’s a chapel in a hospital,” god, or “One day we’ll get nostalgic for disaster,” ugh, do not read this book for lyrical analysis. He also terms the best lyrical line on Cork Tree as “To the ‘love’ I left my conscience pressed / Between the pages of the Bible in the drawer” and, while there’s nothing wrong with that line, I don’t even think that’s the best line in XO (I mean, leaving off the follow-up of “What did it ever do for me? I say” undercuts those lines immediately, imo). (He does at least point out that “Keep quiet, nothing comes as easy as you / Can I lay in your bed all day?” is a devastatingly sexy couplet.)

·       Can I just say, the entire debacle with Hey Chris gets precious little time in this book, which in a way is fine but in a way is like, just by Googling I got way more information on what went down and the weird, weird words that were being flung back and forth (at one point the term “heterolifemates” is used which makes zero sense at all in this context), but this book does spend a lot of time with Chris and Pete pre-Patrick (fascinating, right???) and there’s this weird part where Chris says he hated Pete before he met him and is like, “He should wear pants that fit,” which is just…such an interesting reason to hate Pete Wentz, like, Idk, Chris, coupled with your heterolifemates thing and weird thing about “whose name do you say every night???” which is also weirdly sexual phrasing and also being like “no one knows how to break a heart like he does,” like, everything about this entire situation has so much queer subtext but the book doesn’t touch any of that, ever, in any circumstance, with a ten-foot pole.

·       EVERYONE, THE BORDERS WHERE JOE AND PATRICK MEET IS LOCATED IN EDEN PLAZA AND I AM SO UPSET I DIDN’T KNOW THAT WHEN I WROTE THE DEVIL FIC.

·       I did not know that the producer wanted them to change the “We’re falling apart to halftime” line in Dance, Dance because he thought it was too incomprehensible and I’m just like, That’s the lyric where you thought you were going to lose people??

·       From the bio, describing the Live in Phoenix performance: a strange moment where Wentz inexplicably gets changed onstage. A strange moment? Inexplicably? Okay, like, germane to my telling of the story is how much those dick pics affected Pete Wentz’s public persona, how much he knew exactly what he was there to sell and he sold it with gusto, and how much of a spiral that ultimately sent him on. Instead, this biographer finds it inexplicable that Pete Wentz would take his shirt off onstage, and his analysis of the music video for “This Ain’t a Scene” gives the dick pic storyline only an offhand reference, calling it “making light” of the scandal, instead of really digging into the obvious pain there, like, that’s not a joyful lark there. (Later, much later, years later, Brendon Urie will manage to actually make light of the dick pic saga, both in the Drunk History and also in the joke of the dick pic being the photo that comes up when Pete calls him, as seen in the promos for the tour they did together, and that feels much more genuine. But that bit in “Arms Race” is kind of heartbreaking.)

·       Pete says of their failed attempt to get the Guinness record of the first band to perform on all seven continents that it was the worst feeling he’d ever felt in Fall Out Boy, and the biographer is like, “Really, Pete? Really?” and I kind of want to shake him because Pete Wentz is obviously a dramatic person and he feels disappointments keenly and he made that statement literally just as they were finding out they wouldn’t be able to do it, like, of course it’s just hyperbole! The biographer is weird through that whole section of the book because he never once mentions that, as a consolation to Pete, Patrick stayed up all night with him so they could get the record of most interviews by a duo in a twenty-four-hour period, like, that’s what I would have said about that story instead of trying to get way more out of Pete’s off-the-cuff self-pity (which is just so Pete Wentz, it’s like this writer hasn’t just spend a hundred pages writing about him…).

·       Whenever I read about how many songs Patrick shows up with when it’s time to record an album, I always feel this little twinge of solidarity with him, like, sometimes that’s just how it is in your chosen creative medium, you’re just always endlessly writing.

·       I had never thought before about the fact that Pete says all the time that he was too selfish pre-hiatus, all the time, a lot, that’s how he describes his problem – and the fact that there’s an entire song on Truant Wave called “Love, Selfish Love” with the line “God bless the sad and selfish” and I’m just going to…sit here and think about who in Patrick’s life could be described as sad and selfish.

·       From the bio re: Soul Punk: It’s disarming to hear this garrulous boy-next-door sing so candidly about sex. Yeah, I don’t think you were paying attention to the way Patrick smirks at the camera in the music videos, buddy.

·       Detail I knew but had never really thought about before: that Pete got Patrick to really click into songwriting with him again by giving him a puzzle. Patrick says that sometimes Pete gives him homework assignments, “I want a song that sounds like x, y, and z,” and Patrick will be like, “That’s impossible,” but also so intrigued that he ends up sitting and writing the thing. The fact that Pete knew, after a few mediocre songs neither of them liked, like, “You know how I snag him? This way,” is adorable. Also, the fact that it was Pete who adored the song to come out of it, “Where Did the Party Go?,” and that it was his excitement over the song that made Patrick think, Okay, maybe we can do this, like, it was Pete’s joy that drove Patrick’s optimism, they’re so creatively linked, these two.

·       He does include the detail that Pete was worried he’d fallen behind during the hiatus because he didn’t spend much time playing music and so he committed himself to practicing and improving with metronome work, like, Pete Wentz ugh <3. In a very recent interview that I cannot blame the bio for not including, Pete said that Patrick helps him with the bass because he’s so musically talented and everything about that offhand statement just kills me.

·       I did not know that one of the leaks of their reunion was on a blog that wrote “You can stop refreshing for a journal update,” and I’m in love with that, sorry.  

·       Ugh, can I just say, the fact that Patrick sang all of his vocals for Pax AM Days live with the band is just so unbelievable, he kills me.

·       From the bio: “We were fireworks that went off too soon / And I miss you in the June gloom, too,” Stump sings here, and you can’t help but wonder if the words refer to his public but brief marriage. …I have indeed helped the wondering of that because I have never once thought that about this song lolololol

[catflowerqueen]

Okay, I finished Hiveswap 2 in... basically all one go. I will definitely have to do multiple replays to get all the Steam achievements, but that can wait until I do all my actual work and projects. Thoughts and major spoilers below.

Well Hiveswap 2 was certainly interesting! I can see why it took so long to make, and why Friendisms had to come first. That game certainly gives some more background lore to certain situations, though it also kind of… gave me certain character expectations that I feel were left unfulfilled. Like… given it is Alternia, and Doc Scratch admitted to messing around with everyone involved via his whatever-it-was making people more open to befriending the reader, I guess I’m not entirely surprised how certain situations ended up? Just… severely disappointed.

As far as gameplay goes, I think that the item management system was a little better than in part one, and it was cool that you actually got to switch between playing as Joey and playing as Xefros, and that they each had different commentary when you clicked on things. There is also a replayability factor, which is nice. The music was also really cool, especially how you could tell that the same melody was being used in every train car, just changed up a little to better fit the “theme” of the castes present in the cars. And that even held true when it got a lot darker/more depressing during the final quest! I’m also extremely glad that there was a functional hint system, because there were times when I really, really needed it.

But the bee minigame came pretty much out of nowhere, and the formatting for the directions was horrendous because it gave them to you after the game already started. Not in a tutorial fashion, either! Which meant that I couldn’t really read or understand what was actually going on until I’d failed the game two or three times, making the whole thing really tedious. Also… I’m kind of annoyed at how little actually got carried over when you use the “import Act 1 data” function? Like… inventory was the same, and maybe there were some things I missed, but it didn’t keep the name I gave Dammek’s lusus! It didn’t even use the default name for that option, either, or even throw in a line about Xefros telling you what it’s actual name was at some point while you were fleeing, which would at least explain the discrepancy.

Then there was the jade and teal car… and oh boy do I have a lot of complaints against that car. It’s honestly the one I had the most problems with, from both a gameplay and story perspective. For one thing, it dragged on way, way too long—especially for a middle section of the game. It would have worked a lot better as an endgame thing, I think, just in terms of the way games and stories are supposed to ramp up the action as you play, so things get progressively harder as you go. While there was some nice foreshadowing of how depraved the purple caste really is during that section… like the early game foreshadowing for it, it only really works effectively if you know the source material.

I mean. I guess Xefros’ discomfort in general works and gives it more of a wham/gut-punch for those who don’t know the source ahead of time, but… still.

Anyways, the length isn’t my only complaint with that section. The story was very interesting, I’ll admit, but the execution was not very good, especially when it came to the evidence. Now, I know this is apparently a common complaint with Phoenix Wright games, which that section is based on—that there is a specific order and place you need to use specific pieces of evidence, even when logic dictates that there is a far simpler solution to the problem. Like… at one point you need to come up with a motive for Tegiri to be hanging out by the Jade lockers. Considering that the entire trial has to do with the theft of a “forbidden book on rainbow drinkers,” this is something you find out during the evidence collection phase before the trial even begins, and another piece of evidence collected clearly states (or at least implies extremely heavily) that Tegiri is into rainbow drinker stuff, one would think that piece of evidence would be enough for a motive, right? Wrong. Instead, you have to use a broken action figure… and then you STILL use the other piece of evidence to show that he’s into weird romance stuff and would have been interested in reading the book! And that’s not the only time stuff like that happens!

Not to mention the section in the middle where the trial takes recess. The dialogue implies that what’s happening is you’re getting the chance to collect more evidence and statements… but, no, what’s actually happening is that you’re supposed to be taking this time to accuse other people of actually being the culprit by combining two pieces of evidence. The problem is, it doesn’t tell you this is what’s happening, give you any warning that you won’t be able to talk to the people you’re accusing again if you combine the wrong evidence, or let you use any selection screen aside from the evidence ones when it would be extremely helpful to be able to check on the timeline or suspect section again in order to get a refresher on where everyone was. And one of the pieces of evidence is a diary—but once you have it in your possession, you can’t check the relevant entry again! It only says who the diary belongs to and that some of it is censored. And since there is reason to believe that someone else messed with the diary to implicate the owner, it would be very helpful to actually get to explore that further in depth!

I really do hope that this is a case where there are multiple different endings, since the way it left off on my playthrough left an extremely bitter taste in my mouth, especially in regards to Tyzias’s character, who I actually really, really liked in Friendisms! But here… I got the “Scapegoat” achievement (which is why I’m hoping that there are other ways to complete this section), with the end result being that even though we got our client declared innocent, we also got an innocent (or at least, one heavily implied to be innocent afterwards) person declared guilty—in part because our co-counsel did not inform us of the fact that she witnessed evidence being tampered with and, in fact, knew who the true culprit was all along. And while her “Experiment” was deemed a success—and, I suppose, was technically successful within the set rules and did actually follow the whole “innocent until proven guilty” thing—it just highlighted that legislacerators still don’t actually care about justice. She could have, at any point, chimed in about what she saw, but was more interested in “keeping the peace” afterwards than actually getting the true culprit. And, yeah, baby steps and all, but…

I suppose thematically it does work well considering what happens at the end of the game when reaching the purple car, but…

I just thought better of Tyzias, is all. Friendisms implied that she was a real revolutionary for change, and, yes, I know that this wouldn’t be obvious to someone who didn’t play that game and some allowances must be made for that, but… even so, it just seems really out of character, and I don’t think it can all be blamed on forgetting lessons they learned while hanging out with the Reader/those things not actually happening in this continuity, for whatever reason (though, given how Fozzer was acting, and the fact that Chixie brings up the whole “Mask” persona, I’m pretty sure that we can assume they all remember some things that happened… just in a way that’s vague enough that those who played Friendisms can catch the references while those who didn’t won’t be lost on what’s going on)

…And, in hindsight, the whole thing was probably unnecessary to begin with since the book actually got found before the idea off a trial even came up??? I mean, part of that is because Marvus suddenly wandered in and seemed very interesting in holding one, and they didn’t want to upset him, but… yeah, it’s definitely a case of “this all could have been avoided,” especially since the book is apparently only forbidden for the jades to read. But I’m willing to give that one a pass, since trolls are weird and there were various circumstances escalating the situation.

I still think that Tagora had something to do with it, given what we know about his infatuation with Rainbow Drinkers from Friendisms… but that never actually came up in the game? I see where there may have been an opportunity for it, but it wasn’t a very clear-cut one and, at least the direction my playthrough went—would have required the player to actually have done his route in Friendisms.

(EDIT: Apparently there are some different ways to do this trial, according to some things already up on Steam, but they are dependent on some very early choices in the game--which would presumably affect some other choices in later games, and which means that i’m going to have to do many different playthroughs if i want to see everything available--and it still isn’t likely to remove the taint on my feelings towards Tyzias. After all, I’ll know that such capabilities for ruthlessness remain in her character, whether or not they’re actively showing.)

Also, hero-mode Xefros looks a lot older than I thought he was. And apparently joey is old enough to at least be a Freshman in high school??? I thought she was still in middle school!

As for other characters… some I felt were still in-character, some weren’t. Like… for what little we actually saw of Karako’s personality, considering he doesn’t really talk, I thought he was fine… despite being extremely surprised he was actually on the train at all considering his youth and, well, what little personality we saw indicating that he doesn’t really do “civilization” much. But the twins… while they were spot-on amongst themselves (resulting in an extremely chilling and heartbreakingly well-done scene near the ending), they seemed a lot more vicious in regards to their interactions with others. Wanshi apparently developed a real cruel streak in this game, and, ironically, Tirona was actually a whole lot nicer and not actually a suspect of that trial, despite being put on the stand as a witness.

I was also a bit disappointed that there weren’t more of those clever fight scenes we had from Act 1, where there was puzzle solving going on mid-fight—there were only two of them, one being so forgettable that I pretty much only remembered it existed just this second, and only the last one was really clever. There was at least one, maybe two other points where it would have been really cool/creative if Joey could have solved things with dance in a battling format… but her use of her dancing shoes was only plot important at two points in the game—and that first point wasn’t even her doing actual dancing, but, rather, as a buildup for the bee minigame. And then she never even got to use her “bee dance” skills again. At least Xefros finally got to use his bat—but, again, it was only once where it was actually a useful tool. He did get to use psionics more, though.

 And there was a plot point with Skylla that was pretty much completely dropped? I mean… they did bring it up as something that was still unsolved right at the end, but… well, hopefully this just means that they’ll actually solve it for real in Act 3, because otherwise there was a perfectly good opportunity for a solution that Joey had in hand, but which didn’t get utilized. The issue is that Skylla’s lusus is apparently sick. One would think that this means that, assuming you carried over from part 1 (and I would assume even if you didn’t because it looks like a lot of the problems would be game-breakingly unsolvable if you didn’t have certain items you would have picked up through a playthrough of part 1. I guess that’s something to test for next time), this would require you to use the bestiary and vet kit, right? Wrong: I tried that and nothing happened. Apparently, the solution is that you promise Skylla you’ll look for medicine further down, and use that as a reason that Marsti should move away from the door so that you can pass by. But there’s never actually an option for you to look for the medication.

 …Now that I think about it, though, this would be the prime opportunity for some inadvertent (or intentional, as the case may be) foreshadowing from Act 1. Two opportunities, even, with one being far more obvious than the other. One could be that Joey makes some commentary about knowing exactly what to do, having seen a similar problem in her own “lusus”—her pet dog back home. The other could be that Ladyy isn’t actually sick, but is instead pregnant and having little lusus puppies—which would be a callback to that Puppy Surprise doll from Act 1 where Joey hid her keys.

 Still. I don’t like the fact that it never got solved in this part. Also that Vikare didn’t really get to do much (despite how annoying and confusing I myself find him) and that we didn’t get to see Fozzer again on the train even though we got to see several others on the train who we first saw at the station.

I’m also wondering what’s going to happen in part 4? Obviously part 3 is going to be either the party or further attempts to reach the party (and the suddenness of what happened with the ending does lend some more seriousness to the whole “you only have eleven days before everything gets destroyed thing), but… I’d assumed going in that two parts would be dedicated to Joey’s story, and two to Dammek’s, but apparently that’s not the case? If Joey really does get four parts to herself… then what the heck is Dammek’s story going to entail? I mean… those monsters, obviously, and whoever Jude’s “friends” are, but… I don’t know. I feel like it’s going to be hard to top this.

 As far as lore goes… apparently the maturation trials are not the same thing as the exile, since Zebruh mentions already having gone through his, yet he is still on Alternia for what is implied to be… at least two sweeps, I think it was? I think he said he went through them at seven, and Chahut is approaching 9 or ten and mentions being only a perigee away from leaving. So that’s interesting. I guess the maturation trials are the equivalent of a career aptitude test or something?

 It does make me wonder what happens with the Jades, though. Unless there are more mothergrubs on other planets, what do they even do when they’re off world, since apparently they are specifically tested when they are a lot younger to see who actually is assigned to the caverns vs. just living outside with everyone else. I guess maybe they just get jobs that are slightly more prestigious than olives, but still under teals? That would at least make sense for the ones who weren’t assigned to work in the caverns. Though it does make me wonder about Kanaya a little bit—had there been no game involved, would she still be considered “special” like the jades from Hiveswap given what her lusus was, except that because of said lusus she had to live outside of the caverns? It was, after all, implied that virgin mother grubs and their matriorbs were extremely rare. 

Also, considering how full this train was, and the caste segregation going on, I’m wondering why the train from Sollux’s route in Pesterquest was so empty, and how he could apparently just get on any car he wanted. I mean—sure, he ended up in a car that only had an olive on it, but considering they were literally the only other passenger besides reader, that may have just been a coincidence. It can’t have been that there were separate waiting platforms for the different castes, either, since everyone was mingling together in Hiveswap before separating by car. Is it just that everyone was going to the party, but the train otherwise doesn’t get much use, or something like that? Or did it have more to do with whatever the ramifications were for Trizza’s defeat? …Or possibly the fact that the attack on the train at the end just made people still extremely wary about travelling by rail even sweeps after the fact?

 There’s probably some more lore I can touch on, but… honestly, the trial section left me so upset that I can’t really put much of that together right now. I think I was going to say something about how the Jades would also be a good source of keeping culture alive between heiresses, since apparently they’re actually charged with doing so… but it’s hard to tell how much of that culture is just jade culture specifically vs. the rest of Alternia. Or even how much of it was actually serious, rather than a thinly veiled reason to let everyone indulge in things like tabloids, celebrity magazines, and rainbow drinker books.

Oh, yeah, and I’m pretty sure that Diemen at one point implied that his hot dog was actually made out of someone specific, though I’m not sure at this point whether that someone was his lusus, or if it was a troll. Either way, if that’s true, then it definitely explains why he is so protective of that specific hot dog.

EDIT: I remembered what the other bit of lore I wanted to discuss was. Well. I mean, it might not be considered “lore” as such, but... it’s interesting that of the two major rebellions we know of, both were headed by bronzebloods--that being the Summoner and Dammek. At least, I assume Dammek is the one heading the current rebellion. I wonder it it’s just a coincidence, or if there is something in bronzeblood nature that makes them more likely to lean towards these sorts of reactions? We know Dammek’s breed of lusus apparently favors strong leaders, and given the blood color would only be seeking out other bronzes (except perhaps when they hit the “my charge just died/got culled” stage and go looking for someone else to adopt, given what is happening with Joey), but presumably the Summoner had the same lusus type as Tavros. I dunno, it’s just interesting to think about.

Anyways... Overall I did really like the game! I loved the tone, despite how depressing it got at times, and Xefros’ and Joey’s developing relationship is amazing. I look forward to part 3. Hopefully it won’t take as long to come out.

[sternbilder]

Camille Has Many KDrama Thoughts

As some of you have possibly noticed, I have recently fallen into a KDrama hole and I can’t get up, and I have just finished my 10th drama, which seems like less of an accomplishment than I thought now that I say it out loud, but anyway,

As a checkpoint/thinly veiled plug of some shows I love very much, here is a very long post with some of my thoughts on all the KDramas I’ve seen so far, as well as what’s next on my list, in case you too were interested in joining me in nonexistent fandom hell!

So firstly, all of the dramas I have watched to completion, in the order of how much I like them. First, my top five:

1. Sungkyunkwan Scandal (2010). My #1 favorite drama to date. I’ve probably watched it in full 4-5 times, and it’s still an absolute treat every time. Is it the best drama I’ve ever seen? Probably not. But it’s so fun and charming that it’s just gotta be at the top of my list. 

The best way I can describe this drama is Ouran High School Host Club, except in Joseon era Korea, and instead of flirting with girls the main characters learn about Confucianism and solve mysteries and play sports (twice) and end up accidentally involved in a complicated political scandal. Also, that one text post about how Shang from Mulan is bi because he falls for Mulan while he thinks she’s a man...This drama has that, except actually canon. And while I won’t pretend this is show is a shining beacon of representation, there are multiple main characters who are explicitly not heterosexual and several others with very plausible queer readings, which earns it a very special place in my heart.

As for the actual premise of the show, it’s basically about a wonderfully determined and kind and clever but lower-class girl whose writing skills catch the eye of the most stubbornly strait-laced but idealistic aspiring politician-type on the planet. She ends up getting a one-way ticket to the most prestigious school in the country, except she has to pretend to be a man the entire time because women aren’t allowed to be educated at this time. 

It’s a bit of a silly, cheesy show, and here are many wacky shenanigans, but the main cast is full of incredibly highly endearing and multifaceted characters, there is a lot of sexual confusion, the slowburn roommate romance has an incredible payoff, and it’s also full of deeply moving social commentary about class, privilege, and gender roles. This drama is a blast and I could go on and on about what I love about it, I absolutely adore it to pieces.

2. Six Flying Dragons (2015-2016). I debated between this and Tree With Deep Roots (next on my list, to which SFD is a prequel) as my #2 but I do think I want to place SFD higher just because it's the drama that I keep thinking about even after finishing it. of course, it has the dual advantages of 1) being released chronologically later (and having better production value, etc., because of this) and 2) being twice as long, but there’s just so much stuff to unpack with SFD that it makes me want to keep coming back to it. 

The show is about the founding of the Joseon dynasty, and six individuals (half of whom are based on real historical figures and half fictional) whose lives are closely tied to the fall of the old regime and the revolution that brought in the new. It has an intricate, intensely political plotline based on the actual events that happened during this time, and though this may sound kind of boring if you’re like me and not super into history (admittedly, the pacing in the beginning is a tiny bit slow), it quickly picks up and becomes this dense web of character relations and political maneuvering. Though none of the major events should come as a surprise if you’ve seen TWDR or if you happen to already know the history it was based on, the show adds such a depth of humanity and emotion to every event and character that nothing ever feels boring or predictable. As a matter of fact, there are several events that were alluded to in TWDR that, when they actually happened in SFD, left me breathless--because although I 100% knew these were foregone conclusions that were coming up at some point, I still had a visceral moment of, “oh no, so that’s how that came to happen.” 

But though I really enjoyed following the story of SFD and learning about the history behind it, the highlight of the show for me is definitely the great character arcs. I loved TWDR’s characters, too (especially Yi Do, So Yi, and obviously Moo Hyul), but with double the episode count SFD just has so much time for rich, dynamic character development, and I absolutely loved seeing how these characters grew and changed over time when their ideologies and fates collided in this turbulent and violent age: How young and ambitious Yi Bang Won eventually spiraled into a ruthless tyrant, how the naive and kind-hearted Moo Hyul struggled to retain his humanity in a bloody revolution that challenged his values and loyalties to the core, how the fiercely determined and idealistic Boon Yi grew into a pragmatic and capable leader who comes to realize what politics and power mean for her and her loved ones. 

SFD was also everything I wanted as a prequel to TWDR--I loved seeing the contrasts between some of the TWDR characters and their younger selves in the SFD timeline: The hardened and ruthless Bang Won as a passionate and righteous adolescent, the cynical and resigned Bang Ji as a cowardly boy who grows into a traumatized and bitter young man, and my personal favorite character, the comically serious bodyguard Moo Hyul as the very model of the dopey, lovable himbo archetype. And though the ending was controversial among fans (particularly those who watched SFD first), I loved how it closed all the loops and tied it back to the events of TWDR, both providing that transition I wanted but also recontextualizing and adding new meaning to the original work. I think it's still a very good drama on its own, but this hand-off is what really sealed the deal for me personally, because it was not only super emotionally satisfying to watch how the stories connected, but it elevated TWDR to something even greater (suggesting that Yi Do and the events of TWDR was the culmination of everything the six dragons fought so long and hard for), which is exactly what I expect from a good prequel. 

I’ve already talked so much about this drama but I also do need to mention that the soundtrack to SFD is A+, and the sword fights are sick as hell. There is also some romance, though it’s not really a focus--and all the pairings that do exist are extremely tragic, which is exactly up my alley. Overall, this is a hell of a historical drama, coming of age, villain origin story, and martial arts film in one, and I highly recommend it.

3. Tree With Deep Roots (2011). The sequel to SFD, though it aired first chronologically. Although this show isn’t one of those shows that I could rewatch once a year like SKKS or keep ruminating on like SFD, TWDR (much like Les Mis, or Fata Morgana) is thematically the kind of story that just makes my heart sing.

The story centers around the creation of Hangul, the Korean alphabet, by Yi Do (a.k.a., King Sejong the Great, who is the son and successor of Yi Bang Won, the main character of SFD) as well as two fictional childhood friends whose backstories and ambitions become central to the story of how and why this alphabet came to exist. Not only is the actual process of creating this alphabet absolutely fascinating from a linguistic and scientific POV, but the show dramatizes Yi Do’s motivations in a way that’s so incredibly touching and human--portraying the king as a soft-hearted and extremely charismatic yet fundamentally flawed and conflicted figure who tries so desperately to do right by his people. 

The show explores both a number of personal themes like redemption, atonement, and vengeance, as well as broader societal themes such as the ethics of authority, the democratization of knowledge, and the power of language and literacy. Though the show never forgets to remind the audience of the bitter reality of actual history, it’s still a deeply idealistic show whose musings on social change and how to use privilege and power to make the world better are both elegant and poignant. 

Romance definitely takes a backseat in TWDR, even more so than SFD, though this isn’t something I personally mind. There are, however, a lot of interesting politics surrounding the promulgation of the alphabet, including a string of high-profile assassinations--if SFD is historical/political-thriller-meets-action-film, then TWDR is historical/political-thriller-meets-murder-mystery, and it’s an incredibly tightly written and satisfying story whose pieces fall into place perfectly. Though not the sprawling epic that SFD is, TWDR is an emotional journey and an extremely well-written story with a TON of goodies if you’re as excited about linguistics as I am. 

4. White Christmas (2011). My first non-sageuk on this list! White Christmas is, in a lot of ways, an odd drama. It’s an 8-episode special, and featured largely (at the time) new talent. it’s also neither a historical work nor romance-focused, but instead a short but intense psychological thriller/murder mystery. 

The premise is this: Seven students at a super elite boarding school tucked away in the mountains receive mysterious black letters that compel them to remain on campus during the one vacation of the year. The letters describe various “sins” that the author accuses the students of committing, as well as the threat of a “curse” as well as an impending death. The students quickly find that they’re stranded alone at the school with a murderer in their midst, as they are forced to confront their shared histories and individual traumas to figure out 1) why they’ve been sent the letters, and 2) how to make it out alive. At the center of the survival game the characters find themselves in is a recurring question: “Are monsters born, or can they be made?”

If you’ve been following me for a while, it’s easy to see why I was drawn to this drama. In terms of setup and tone, it’s Zero Escape. In theme, it’s Naoki Urasawa’s Monster. It’s Lord of the Flies meets Dead Poets Society. or as one of my mutuals swyrs@ put it, Breakfast Club meets Agatha Christie. The story is flawlessly paced with not a scene wasted. There’s so much good foreshadowing and use of symbolic imagery, and though I’ve watched it at least 3-4 times, I always find interesting new details to analyze. The plot twists (though not so meta-breaking as ZE) are absolutely nuts, and aside from the somewhat questionable ending, the story is just really masterfully written.

Above all, though, WC is excellent for its character studies. Though I typically tend to stay away from shows that center around teenagers because I don’t find their struggles and experiences particularly relatable, WC does such an excellent job of picking apart every character psychologically, showing their traumas, their desires, their fears, and their insecurities. We see these kids at their most violent and cruel, but also their most vulnerable and honest. Their stories and motivations are so profoundly human that I found even the worst and most despicable characters painfully sympathetic at times, as cowardly and hypocritical and unhinged as they became. 

Like I said, it’s only 8 episodes long with probably the best rewatch value on this list. My only complaints about it are its ending, as well as its relative lack of female characters, but otherwise I would absolutely recommend.

5. Signal (2016). Okay, this might be the recency bias talking because I just finished this series but I'm sure but I'm still reeling at the mind-screw of an ending and I feel like it deserves a place on this spot just for that.

Signal is a crime thriller based on a number of real-life incidents that happened in Korea in the last 30 or so years. In short, a young profiler from the year 2015, who has a grudge against the police after witnessing their incompetence and corruption twice as a child, happens to find a mysterious walkie-talkie that seems to be able to send and receive messages from the past. on the other end is an older detective from 2000 who tells him that he’s about to start receiving messages from his younger self, back in 1989. Through the seemingly sporadic radio communications, the two men work together to solve a series of cold cases, which begin to change the past and alter the timeline.

As they solve these cases, expose corruption within the police department, and correct past injustices, the two men (along with a third, female detective who has connections to both of them) also begin to unravel the mysteries of their pasts, as well as why and how they came to share this connection.

Like WC, the story and pacing of this drama were flawless, reminding me of an extended movie rather than a TV series. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time, and the 16-episode run went by in no time at all. I always love timeline shenanigans and explorations of causality and fate and the consequences of changing the past, and this show has oodles of that peppered with the heartbreakingly tragic human connections and stories that the main characters share. The main pairing has great chemistry and gave me exactly the pain I crave from a doomed timeline romance, and the cinematography and soundtrack were also beautiful, which also contributed to the polished, cinema-like feel.

My only complaint is that I wish that the ending felt more like an ending, such that the drama could stand on its own. I do realize this is because there’s a second season coming, but right now the show feels somewhat incomplete, ending on a huge, ambiguous cliffhanger/sequel hook and with several loose ends. I obviously can’t give a final verdict until the entire thing airs (and I typically don’t like multi-season shows, so I will wait for the next season to come out both reluctantly and begrudgingly), but even where the show leaves off I still did enjoy it immensely.

...And now, some brief thoughts on the other 5 shows I’ve watched, because I ran out of steam and have less to say about these:

6. Healer (2014-2015). It’s been a few years since I’ve seen this show, but I remember being really impressed by this drama at the time, especially the storyline. Unfortunately though I don’t remember too much about the drama itself, which is a shame. It’s a mystery/thriller, I think, and there is hacking and crimes involved? The main character is a very cute and sweet tabloid writer and she falls in love with a mysterious and cool action boy who helps her uncover the truth behind a tragic incident that relates to her past, or something. Judging from my liveblog it seems like this was an extremely emotional journey, and I enjoyed the main couple (who are both very attractive) a lot, and it was just overall a cathartic and feel-good experience. I feel like I should rewatch this drama at some point?

7. Rooftop Prince (2012). It’s also been forever since I watched this show but I remember thinking it was hilarious and delightful and I definitely cried a lot though I do not remember why (probably something something time travel, something something reincarnation/fated lovers??). I do remember that the premise is that a Joseon-era prince and several of his servants accidentally time travel into modern-day Seoul and end up meeting the main character who is the future reincarnation of his love (?) and he is hilariously anachronistic and also insufferably pretentious, which the MC absolutely does not cut him any slack for, and they have an extremely good dynamic.

8. Coffee Prince (2007). I watched this around the same time as Rooftop Prince and I remember really enjoying it! it’s basically just SKKS, but the modern cafe AU, and I mean that in the best way possible? It definitely shares a lot of the same tropes--crossdressing/tomboy female lead, sexually questioning male lead who falls in love with her despite being “straight,” very good chemistry and also extremely charming secondary characters.

9. Shut Up Flower Boy Band (2012). This show...Was just OK. I enjoyed it at the time, but I can’t say I found it particularly memorable. As I said, I don’t typically find stories about high school students particularly relatable, and the battle of the bands-type plot was interesting enough at the time but didn’t really leave a lasting impression. As expected, the music was pretty good. I kind of watched this mostly to hear Sung Joon sing tbh?

10. Rebel: Thief Who Stole the People (2017). I wanted to like this show. I really did. I wouldn’t say it was bad, but the beginning was painfully slow, and I only really enjoyed the last 10 episodes or so, when the vive la révolution arc finally started kicking off. The pacing was challenging--the pre-timeskip dragged on about twice as long as it needed to, and I just wasn’t really interested in the Amogae/Yiquari storyline very much. I also really, really disliked all the romances in the show, especially the main pairing, since I didn’t particularly love either the male or the female leads until pretty late in the show. Overall I think I would have enjoyed the show more if the first 2/3 of it was about half as long, and it either developed the romance better or cut it out altogether.

What I’m thinking of watching next:

1. Chuno (2010). Mostly because the soundtrack to this show is so goddamn good, but also because I’m craving more historical dramas with good sword fights after SFD. I was kind of hoping Rebel would fill that need but I was a little disappointed tbh?

2. Warrior Baek Dong Soo (2011). Same reasons as above, honestly. also has a very good soundtrack, and Ji Chang Wook, who is a known nice face-haver, doing many very cool sword fights.

3. Mr. Sunshine (2018). Late Joseon era is something I’ve never really seen before in media so I’m pretty intrigued? Also Byun Yo Han was one of my favorites from SFD and I definitely want to see him in more things.

4. Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung (2019). A coworker recommended this to me and the trailer looks delightful. first of all it’s a sageuk with the gorgeous and talented Shin Se Kyoung in it playing a smart and plucky female lead, which have historically been extremely good to me, but also it gives me massive SKKS vibes, so how could I not.

5. My Country: The New Age (2019). This caught my attention because it’s based on the same historical events as SFD, so it features some of the same characters. I am very very interested in Jang Hyuk’s take on Yi Bang Won, even if he is less of a main character here compared to SFD, and he’s already an adult so he’ll already be well on his way to bastardhood. I also hear it’s very heartbreaking, which is instant eyes emoji for me?

6. Chicago Typewriter (2017). It’s about freedom fighters from the colonization era, which I’m very intrigued by after The Handmaiden and Pachinko, plus a reincarnation romance. I am very predictable in my choice of tropes. Also, Yoo Ah In is in it.

7. Arthdal Chronicles (2019-). Ok, it’s a gorgeous-looking historical fantasy set in Korea written by the same writers as TWDR and SFD, plus it has not just one but TWO Song Joong Ki characters, one of which is a pure, doe-eyed soft boy and the other an evil long-haired fae prince looking asshole who I hear is a complete and utter Unhinged Bastard Supreme. Nothing has ever been more Camille Bait than this, but unfortunately this show hasn’t finished airing, which does pain me deeply. speaking of,

8. Kingdom (2019-). It’s a fantasy sageuk with zombies, is about the extent I know about this show. The fact that it also hasn’t finished airing turns me off a bit but it looks absolutely gorgeous and I also just found out it was written by the same writer as Signal, so,,,,,,,,,

9. Gunman in Joseon (2014). I honestly don’t expect too much from this drama but I just enjoy its premise a lot? From what I understand it’s just Percy from Critical Role, but make it Joseon era.......Like, they just straight up took a Shadow the Hedgehog, “let’s make a sageuk, but guns,” approach, and I kind of unironically love that. Also the soundtrack kicks ass, which like...you can really see where my priorities lie here, huh,

10. Misaeng (2014). I don’t remember at this point why this is on my list but I found it in the Keep note I have of all the media I want to watch?? I have no idea what this show is about, except that it takes place in an office. Apparently Byun Yo Han is also in this one? I’m sorry this is the only non-sageuk or sageuk-adjacent show in this list, I know what I’m about, and it’s fancy old-timey costumes and cool braids.