#getting merch here is near impossible sometimes (always)

[sebek-zigbolt]

SILSEBE NENDOROIDS ARRIVED AUGHRRRGHHGHGHHH HRRGGGGGHGHGGGRRGRGGGG AAAAAGHHGHHHRRRRRRRGGRRRRGGRRRRRR *explodes*

[1d-discourseoftheday]

💙 Tues 5 Jan ‘21 💚

Is today's biggest story really a pair of socks I mean WHY NOT am I right, that may as well happen! With impeccable timing, as the fandom and the world went bananas about Ho-livia WildStyle (a drag queen name for the ages right there), the first of the limited edition TPWK socks that people ordered basically on blind faith (you fully couldn't tell what they were going to look like at all on the website, and now we know why lmao) have arrived with a bang: they seemed to come with either blue or pink hearts, but in fact it turns out you get one of two color combos, either pink and white or, uh: BLUE AND GREEN HEARTS. I'm not one to carry on about like jeans and a green shirt or what have you but this is a CHOICE, and if the antis don't have performative burnings of their evil larrie merch honestly WHAT is the POINT; the resale market of the limited edition socks is already booming though so there's always that option, if either side can bear to conduct business across the divide. My question is, did they really time it to play out this precisely on purpose? Unlikely tbh, but if that's a thing they're capable of I have some THOUGHTS about the way other Harry merch takes like 4 months to arrive...

Larrie socks aside however, the real discourse continues to be about you-know-what, with the players out there fanning the flames wildly. There's too much nonsense to bother with it all (the quoted sources in the articles directly contradicting each other's stories also makes it difficult) so let's just... *spins wheel*....okay I landed on 'tabloids say Harry's wedding speech talked about his girlfriend Olivia' here goes. Sjksdfjks WHY would you be talking about your girlfriend of three weeks in a speech for your close friends' wedding, OMG, how uncomfortable and inappropriate is that?? Imagine if any of this were real, that Harry ('I'd take my time and make sure a thing was serious before telling people about it', end quote, I mean that's ALSO a stunt quote (oh the layers) but just pointing out that it's contradictory) starts dating his co-worker who just got out of a huge relationship and is also a famous person with presumably an interest in privacy, and immediately the two of you get to work setting up a big reveal to happen right away (even in a weird fantasy world where any of this is real the possibility that JEFF AZOFF'S WEDDING had the paps present for any other reason than to do EXACTLY what they were told is flat impossible- what pap or celeb outlet can afford to be on Jeff's bad list?!) and then he casually writes her into his speech (a guy who's so anxious and shy about public speaking and what to say that he begs people to write speeches for him and practices endlessly) uh huh, sure Jan. There are so many things about this that are ludicrous, but more to the point, none of the things they're saying hold up to scrutiny any better than this. There just isn't any point in taking them that seriously though; Harry is a closeted artist and, just like the many queer artists that came before him who he repeatedly reminds us are his icons, he both lets us know all day every day in a million ways that he's queer, and also plays the industry game and winkingly gives the press their Straight Guy Harry fodder. You don't have to like it, or indeed anything at all in this world, but people do need to accept that whether they like it or not is neither the point nor anyone (including Harry)'s responsibility to respond to or do anything about.

Like I said I can't cover every detail but! I always have a little space for the absurd: today, our best entrant is the possibility that the whole wedding we saw was a sham– fans ask, was this public spectacle Jeff and Glenne's actual wedding? Listen if anyone would be up for it it would be this crew, and if they did stage it I'm sure they had a good laugh! Suspicion has been cast on Glenne's dress (allegedly an untailored 2018 off the rack number), the small guest list (wouldn't they just wait and have a huge event?), and the fact that they invited paps there at all. It would make the no explanation robe pics EVEN FUNNIER though if you imagine that was for our benefit but left totally unadressed (undressed). ANYWAY Don't Worry Darling filming is back in business and Harry was papped some more today, out for a casual not at all pap walk hike with a work associate and multiple items of his own merch (including an unreleased hoodie design.) On the topic of DWD, sometimes a different perspective can be interesting-- for example considering whether Harry is the point of all this at all? Or is he but a bit player in the real DWD publicity drama, an elaborate and very public dramatic reconciliation between Olivia and her ex husband? Either way, he's neither a clueless dupe, a helpless pawn, or anyone's 'boy toy', so please: can we rein in the hand wringing and pointless Olivia bashing a bit?

Let's talk about something else shall we? For example! Liam's setlist, just released for the upcoming LP Show Act 4. Look at that song selection! Fireproof! Strong!! Through The Dark!! More exciting 1D faves! Plus Slow and Home With You off his EP, NICE, singles and more, it looks awesome. The Hugo Man fragrance relaunch is less exciting, featuring the dopiest possible articles full of chat about his skin care routine (oh shucks I'm just  manly man, I don't have one at all... *names two products and refers to 'multiple moisturizers'*), trademark accidental candor (“I’m quite tired!”), and of course trying to describe a fragrance, always an entertaining gymnastics (“every time I spray it, it kind of takes me back to being on that rooftop in Berlin”), but also there are manly new pics of Lia.

A new song Niall co-wrote is coming out! The JC Stewart song, Break My Heart, will be out this Fri! Charlie Lightening posted pics from a year ago on the Walls music video set, featuring an intent Louis in the sun (and fashion voter underrated excellent Looks), and Louis commented on Dave Allen's post (“top man!”)-- the famous boxer is offering to help friends through lockdown by facetiming 3or 4 people a day for home workouts, damn, and also aww. That shitty Doncaster secondary school turned out some really sweet dudes, against all odds tbh. With Los Angeles experiencing some of the worst COVID surges we've seen since the beginning of the pandemic, Grammys organizers have elected to postpone the (already limited) ceremony. Originally scheduled for Jan 31 it is now TBA, tentatively for March. Harry's stalker, who menaced him in and near his London home in 2019, is being charged with violating his restraining order by attempting to contact Harry via social media, Global Fund for Women thanked Harry for donating, and HLDaily and other accounts were suspended for posting pap pics, always a risk, but one trick potato Jeff is on the job; HSD is back up and running, cause they can't have a proper stunt season without their most faithful mouthpieces. Niall continues to vote for himself on twitter threads about what to listen to in the New Year.

[fragileizywriting]

the stars are nothing (compared to your constellations of freckles)

pairing: Adrien / Marinette word count: 7,521 chapter: 1/1 rating: G summary: “I used to have a huge— huge— crush on you when we were younger. She took hold of it and has been running with the idea that we’re perfect for each other ever since then.” Adrien nearly choked on his drink. “Really?” “It was embarrassing.” Marinette placed the cup down and rubbed her fingers together for warmth. “B-but trust me, the crush is gone now, don’t worry.” “G-gone?” Was the sky spinning, or was he just seeing things? Was he melting? Even while sitting, he felt like the world had been pulled out from underneath him. She used to have a crush on him. She used to have a crush on him. Only to give it up so she could— so she could— Date Chat Noir. Date him. His breath crumbled in his lungs, suffocating and painful in the cold air. AO3 link

He heard her first before actually seeing her. His back turned to their tent in the cool, chilly night— he knew just by the sound of her voice she had tucked herself into her knitted cap, and layered long sleeves to keep the cold air from permeating into her skin. “Oh— Hi, Adrien.”

“Did I wake you?”

“No, no. Just— just looking for something to do for a little while. Couldn’t fall asleep?”

He poked a bit at the firepit with a metal prong, watching the flames lick the sides of the sticks he’d put inside the bowl the way Nino had taught him to do. He sat back onto his little floor cushion, turning just so to catch a hint of Marinette’s pink lips pulled into a shy smile as she zipped the tent behind her closed.

He shook his head, warm in the chest as Marinette pulled out another cushion from the small laundry bag they had brought to store them in, and she sat close to the fire. Close enough for him to wrap his arms around her, if he were any bolder, or if he was any less terrified. “Not yet. Nino is moving too much, and I can’t find his phone to stop the music blaring from his headphones— I’d follow the wire, but they’re bluetooth. He’s going to go deaf in his sleep one day from how loud it is.”

Her laughter filled him to the brim with warmth, and he couldn’t stop himself from letting his own smile form.

“What about you? What are you doing out here instead of sleeping?”

She laughed to herself, rubbing her hands together, trying to keep herself warm. He wished he could reach over to her and warm them for her— but he was nothing more than a stranger to her. He turned his attention back to the fire to keep himself from acting on impulse. “Oh— well— It’s embarrassing to admit, really.”

He smiled into the collar of his sweater. “Try me.”

Always up for a challenge, Marinette’s eyes sparkled as she took his bait. “I move a lot in my sleep, too. I’m a hugger.”

“Oh really?” Adrien wanted nothing more than to tell her that he knew exactly that. He knew what Marinette looked like tucked under his chin, arms somehow making it to his hair and petting behind the ears. The sweet smell of milk soap on her skin making up for the headbutts he’d get as she tossed and turned in his arms. The way to only manage to get her to hold still for even a brief period of time was to sleep on top of her, blanketing her in his own weight.

He knew that she hated his fake snoring. He wasn’t sure if he did it for some backwards irony to make up for the lack of sleep he always got, but he loved the sweet and generous laughter he got out of her from it.

He knew that her laughter was contagious past nine at night— where her smile would take form into one of the most beautiful sights he’d ever seen, where her eyes would twinkle like stars.

He knew that when she finally did sleep, and finally did stop moving for the night, her weight was comforting on him— assuming that somehow she’d flipped their positions throughout the night to rest her head on the space on his shoulder. She’d always complained about the sleekness of his hexleather costume and how it was impossible for her to feel comfortable without slipping off, and yet she fell asleep for hours on him without having her head slip off him uncomfortably.

He knew that her hair tickled his nose when she slept, and that he only slept well when he could smell the easy scent of her shampoo pressed up against him.

And he knew that Marinette only slept well when she could press the meat of her palm on the space just below his clavicle, letting her hand rest where his chest rose and fell.

“Oh, yeah. I’m a total annoyance— Alya hates it— she feels claustrophobic whenever she sleeps near me, so I’m letting her get some sleep before I head back in.” Marinette sat back, humor lining her own voice, completely oblivious to the way Adrien was buzzing in his seat with yearning— wishing to the point it hurt to just reach out to her and kiss her. “How long have you been out here for?”

“I’m not sure. An hour, I think?” Adrien poked at the fire again, flipping one of the sticks over to the other side and watching the fresh bark crumble and burn. Ever since they’d tucked in for the night, he hadn’t been able to sleep. It’d been a long while since he had to sleep without Marinette with him, and the experience was foreign.

His hands had gravitated so much towards the other heat source in bed— Nino— looking for a hand to hold or someone’s neck to nuzzle. He’d nearly pulled Nino onto him like he was used to doing with Marinette— and while he was sure Nino wouldn’t mind, Adrien had left the tent before it had gotten embarrassing. He missed her warmth.

He didn’t know heartache could be so strong.

Marinette fiddled with her phone, swiping through her conversation on her apps, waiting for the circle bar to finish loading and refresh for new messages. Nothing. Adrien tried not to pay attention to what was on her phone— he was just a friend, she didn’t know him— but he couldn’t help himself watch her refresh their conversation over and over again on a blackened messenger app, lilac pink chat bubbles jumping back and forth on her screen with every refresh.

Waiting for a response from him.

Him.

Chat Noir him.

But not Adrien him.

She sighed to herself, biting her bottom lip, accepting the lack of internet. “I guess there’s no signal out here?”

“I tried sending out a couple of messages already,” He nodded, admitting to her face that he had tried to respond. She didn’t know he was referring to that— was it obvious in his eyes at how much he wished he could say it to her? “Nothing— uhm— nothing went through.”

They break eye contact after a moment.

His heart felt heavy.

“Oh, wow. The service here must be a lot worse than I thought. I hope we don’t need to contact anyone this weekend, or anything like that.” Marinette crossed her legs in front of her, wiping her palms on her pajama pants. Chat Noir paw-prints dotted all on the legs— a gift from him last christmas. He’d bought it off of the original fan merch website after spending a while looking for what to get her. She’d laughed about it, given Chat Noir a glare that had dissolved into laughter as he had opened his own gift and confetti had ruptured out of the small box.

He loved the bed slippers she had given him, and always made sure to hide it away under his bed or in his closet whenever his friends came over.

It wasn’t a gift for Adrien. Because it wasn’t for this half of him.

It was a gift for Chat Noir— and he made sure to keep it away from his civilian friends. The mint green color for the bunnies was incredibly endearing.

She wore her own gift for laughs sometimes, always finding it incredibly humorous that he’d gone out and bought his own merch. He always made sure to pepper her face with kisses every time she wore it, telling her that she looked like she was his biggest fan. It never failed to make her laugh to the point of losing her breath.

Adrien never felt so far away from her than sitting right next to her in front of the fire.

It made him want to cry that Marinette had put it on willingly, unknowing that he was here, most likely for the simple reason to have a bit of him with her while she left the city for the weekend. Adrien blushed to himself, staring away from Marinette’s hands, who he’d gotten entranced to looking at the way they moved. He wished he could hold her hand. His voice felt weak. “W-well I’m sure we won’t need to call anyone for a while. We brought enough food to last for a week, Nino’s decision. If we hike up more of the mountain tomorrow, we’ll probably have more signal.”

A private smile filtered to her face, one that he shouldn’t be able to read. But he knew everything about Marinette now. She was excited to have service. She wanted to text him. She curled her legs in closer to her, holding herself tight, resting her forehead and tired eyes on her knees. The small lock of hair that escaped her cap fell from her shoulder, spilling softly onto her collarbone.

Adrien tried not to stare, the words he so desperately wanted to say and had practiced for the entire night getting stuck at the edge of his throat. He— he couldn’t do it.

Coward. Coward.

Marinette would hate him, wouldn’t she? She’d trusted her entire life with Chat Noir— but he was a nobody to her when he was Adrien. What chance did he have to ruin her trust like that, and hope that it turned out okay?

“I won’t be able to send a goodnight text tonight. I hope… I hope that’s okay.” Marinette murmured to herself, speaking into her knees. Adrien wondered if she missed him as much as he missed her— regardless of her being right next to him.

He wondered if he’d be able to tell her the truth like he had planned to. His mouth refused to move, his tongue pretending to be made out of cement. He’d fought countless of Akumas, stared at death hundreds of times— he faulters now. Here. An entire galaxy and universe between them, even as they’re just centimeters away from each other.

He pretended not to hear her, favoring on bringing the subject back to the cold. He poked a bit more at the fire, letting a fresh new stick fall into the pit, enjoying the way the flame licked the surface. “Hey, I think there’s hot chocolate left in the container from dinner. Do you want to share the rest of it?”

“Oh, that’s a great idea. Let me go find it. It’s in the cooler, right?” The fire coated her cheeks rosy pink. She’d gotten so much better at communicating with Adrien him the last two years ever since Chat Noir him had shown up at her doorstep— and while she was finally able to maintain eye contact with Adrien without squeaking, she was always outspoken with him whenever he was covered in hexleather as Chat Noir— always so opinionated and passionate. Adrien couldn’t help himself by falling in love. Smitten as a kitten.

Marinette would’ve loved that pun. He wished he could tell her it.

Just three words. Just three words. All he had to do was just say three words.

He poked at the fire listlessly, trying to hype himself up to tell her the truth. She deserved to know. She deserved to know that it was him. The boy who showed up at her door every night was nothing more than her classmate that she had managed to finally stop sputtering in front of. He wanted to tell her that he loved her outside of his suit— he wanted to tell her that he wanted to be with her always, hexleather or genuine skin— he wanted to fall asleep with her tucked underneath his chin every day for the rest of his life.

He continued to poke at the fire with his prong. He couldn’t tell her.

Marinette found her way back over to him and she pushed her floor pillow closer to him with a foot, trying to balance her phone in one hand and the camping insulation bottle in the other. Her smile shy, she sat down before she had even made up her mind. Adrien tried not to scare her off.

She passed him a cup, and Adrien wept on the inside at their fingertips touching each other. Why was he such a coward? Why couldn’t he turn to her and tell her— “Adrien? Everything okay?”

“Sorry,” He dropped the metal fire poker in his hand, leaning forward to give her better attention. She held the hot chocolate bottle in between two mittened hands, smile soft and curious on her face. He tried not to dissolve into a blush, cursing himself for letting his thoughts run away without him. He bit the inside of his cheek as she poured his drink for him, the sound of the fire crackling and hissing loud against the silence of their breaths.

He hadn’t been joking when he had said that Nino’s music had been too loud. Even when Adrien had originally gotten over trying to cuddle with Nino under the covers, the music blasting in his headphones was enough to wake Adrien up from the edge of sleep. Leaning back against the fallen log, cradling the cup of hot chocolate in his hands and looking into the fire, Adrien reasoned that he could fall asleep in the position he was in. He was sure his back would protest the hike they would go on the following day if he did, but at least he wouldn’t be waking up to his hand searching for body warmth.

“I feel kind of bad for the both of them.” Marinette pulled her legs up to put her chin on, hugging her knees with her arms.

“Who?” Adrien took a sip out of his cup. Lukewarm and agonizingly sweet from all the undissolved sugar that sat at the bottom of the bottle. Perfect for the chill. Perfect for him to get his mind off of things for a bit.

He could see from the corner of his eyes that Marinette was gazing into the fireplace, the strings from her cap falling across her shoulders. He wanted to reach over and tuck that stray piece of hair under her hat— brush her bangs back and kiss her forehead. “Alya and Nino. I feel kind of bad that they have to sleep in separate tents because of us.”

“I’m sure they don’t mind it.” He kept his tone polite, trying not to devolve into his usual banter of flirts. I wouldn’t mind sharing another bed with you. He was Adrien. He was just a friend. She didn’t know him well enough. She didn’t know how well their fingers intertwined.

A short chilly breeze cut through their conversation, sending a plume of smoke from the fire into their general direction. The two of them parted, jumping quickly off their cushions as they tried not to laugh too hard. The smell of smoke burned in his nose and stained his clothes— no doubt his hair smelled like smoke, too. He should’ve worn a hat to keep the smoke smell off. Too late now.

Marinette laughed from the other side of the firepit, the light bright enough for him to see how sparkly her blue eyes were. He could probably see stars in them, if he got close enough— he knew that they lived there often whenever she was with him. “Was that the fire telling us to go to bed?”

“Not a chance,” He kept his voice low, and took a sip from his cup. It just barely tasted like smoke, which was a good sign to keep drinking. “But it may have been the fire telling us to get warmer. It’s freezing out here.”

As if she’d noticed only when he said it, she nodded in agreement, suddenly shivering under her three layers of clothes. He hoped she wouldn’t catch a cold from how much shivering she was doing.

He passed her the handle of his mug and asked her to wait, unzipping his tent to grab for his blanket. He almost hit the back of Nino’s calf in search for an end of the blanket to pull on. He brought the blanket’s edge around his shoulders, letting a big portion of the fabric drape across his shoulder as he accepted his cup back. He held the rest of the blanket with his long arm and shrugged his shoulder, beckoning Marinette to come closer and share the blanket with him.

As a friend. Just a friend. Always a friend.

He was miserable without being able to touch her.

They sat back down on the pillows, shoulders barely touching. She accepted the other end of the blanket with a thankful smile, and draped the remaining fabric over her thin frame. They sat in comfortable silence, letting the smoke billow up and the blanket cover them from the chill. He sipped from his cup contently, trying his best to stay at ease with her next to him.

Soft, strained laughter made its way out of Marinette’s throat. “No, I don’t think Alya’s okay with sleeping away from her boyfriend. Alya’s been trying to get me to change tents with Nino the entire trip over. This was supposed to be their getaway from home, you know. I’m sure she doesn’t actually mind sleeping in another tent, but I think she’d like it a lot more if they were together.”

“Is that what the both of you were talking about in the back of the van?” Nino had wanted to drive for the majority of the car trip, saying that whoever drived was always considered the designated controller of the speakers. Alya had sent him in the passenger seat, claiming that his kilometers of model-legs would cramp in the back seat no matter how much space he was given. His chance to try to warm himself up to talking to Marinette had been squished.

Marinette and Alya had spent the entire car ride talking in hushed voices in the back of the van, and Adrien wasn’t able to hear them over the sound of the speakers. Marinette had been stained permanently red from whatever blush had come up throughout the trip by the time they had made it to the park they were camping at. At the time, Adrien hadn’t understood what the fuss was about.

“Y-yeah.” She took a sip from her own cup.

“I’m sorry.” He found himself speaking before he was able to think of something to say, fingers white-knuckling around his mug. “Uhm. I know I make you uncomfortable sometimes— so the switch— it wouldn’t have been ideal.”

Marinette turned to him as best as she could on her floor pillow, trying her best not to jostle her hot chocolate. “No— no you don’t— make me uncomfortable. Honestly— I— I’m just really shy.”

He knew that wasn’t true. He knew for a fact that Marinette wasn’t shy with anything except when it came to Adrien. Marinette was vocal about everything and anything with everybody— he’d seen her bicker with akumatized people just as he showed up to take her away from trouble, and even when tossed over his shoulder to run she’d continue to ask them to let go of the akumas in them. Marinette was brave— and he knew that— and she knew that— but she couldn’t tell Adrien.

He wanted to cry. He was a coward who couldn’t tell her.

“Still though,” He cleared his throat as he felt a wave of tears threaten to take over his voice. “I don’t ever want to purposely make you uncomfortable, Marinette. You’re one of my closest friends. Being in a tent together would’ve made you uncomfortable, wouldn’t it?”

And incredibly difficult to explain if he had pulled her on him in the middle of the night, like he usually did under the context of being Chat Noir. It was one thing to explain doing it when he did it all the time. It was another to try to make an excuse when he was just his civilian self.

“No, no! I promise— I promise you don’t make me uncomfortable. Alya’s just been pressuring me to pair up with you since the beginning of time, it feels like.” She ducked her head, shy. Her cap’s strings bobbed at the movement, and she pulled at her collar as if she was struggling with admitting it. “I used to have a huge— huge— crush on you when we were younger. She took hold of it and has been running with the idea that we’re perfect for each other ever since then.”

He nearly choked on his drink. “Really?”

“It was embarrassing.” She placed the cup down and rubbed her fingers together for warmth. “B-but trust me, the crush is gone now, don’t worry.”

“G-gone?” Was the sky spinning, or was he just seeing things? Was he melting? Even while sitting he felt like the world had been pulled out from underneath him. She used to have a crush on him. She used to have a crush on him. Only to give it up so she could— so she could—

Date Chat Noir.

Date him.

His breath crumbled in his lungs, suffocating and painful in the cold air.

“I mean it’s been years now, and we’re good friends like you’ve said and— well I just— well— I have a boyfriend.” He saw her visibly bite her tongue at that. Her eyes widened at what she’d just said, nervously patting at her Chat Noir pajama pants, finally realizing that she’d admitted to having a crush on him. “I don’t think— and the tent is so small— it would be like sharing a bed and—”

“I— Oh— you do?” He had no words, staring at her with wide, slow-blinking eyes. Marinette had never referred to him as her— her— oh. Oh. Wait. Hold on. “But Marinette I would never— uh— and I never knew— I’m sorry—”

Something rattled in his chest, threatening to make him cough. Inhaled the hot chocolate into the wrong tube, he reasoned, but he couldn’t focus on it now.

Marinette referred to him as her boyfriend.

She used to have a crush on him.

The firepit was too loud in his ears. It was too hot under the blanket, surely that was it.

She smothered her nervous laughter into her cup, gazing behind her to see if Alya stirred at all in her tent. They didn’t have to worry about Nino, with his noise-canceling headphones. A bear could come in and take all their food and Nino wouldn’t notice. Or a boar. Many boars. Wolves. Cows. An entire procession of cows. With cowbells.

Adrien could scream at the top of his lungs— and he was very close to doing it— and Nino would be completely deaf to all of it.

“No, no, I didn’t— I didn’t mean to suggest that you’d do something, oh my god I’m so sorry, that’s not what I meant at all— I know you wouldn’t.” She groaned. “It— I just meant— it just wouldn’t feel okay to me.”

“Right. Yeah I’m— sorry. I never knew you had a boyfriend— god— I’m so sorry for—” Adrien couldn’t breathe, trying to clear his throat. She had a crush on him. Had. The stars in her eyes were blinding. “How— uh— how? How long, I mean?”

She blushed. How was he supposed to survive this? Oh— and she’d never called him her boyfriend before, at least not to his knowledge. They kissed a lot, they played video games, he helped her study and she would let him catnap on her chaise during the afternoon sun, but— well— there was only so much dating they could do when one of them was masked as one of the Heroes of Paris and was also a coward that couldn’t tell the girl he loved and dated that he was a civilian that she knew and— Adrien wanted to kick himself.

“Two years, maybe. That sounds about right, I guess?” She spoke so softly that he almost missed it in his turmoil.

He felt faint. “Two years?”

“We don’t really have an anniversary.” She had the idea to be sheepish as he stared at her, scratching the back of her neck with her fingers while she worried her lip between her teeth. She broke eye contact with him in favor of looking down at her cup which was only left with the small dots of undissolved chocolate spots. Adrien couldn’t stop staring at the way the firelight illuminated her face.

“He’s… very lucky to have you.” Adrien managed to say after a long pause in the conversation, his hands flexing hard around his own cup. Thoughts of being called her boyfriend so casually to anyone else made his entire body heat up in warm thoughts, and it made him want to take off his sweater from how sweaty the back of his neck was starting to get. If he could drown himself at the lake, he would’ve.

“He’s a private person,” She tried reasoning to him, under the impression that he was upset. “I don’t mention him because I don’t want to overwhelm him.”

Only half-true. Everyone knew who Chat Noir was, and even Marinette herself knew that he talked about his life as best as he could under the circumstances of not being able to reveal his secret identity. It would make him absolutely delighted to hear Marinette mention him even more in casual conversations like this.

“I can relate to being a private person,” Adrien chose to say, leaning hard onto his life-of-fame outlook. “Does Alya know about him?”

Marinette frowned. “Oh, god, no. Please don’t tell her— she’d never let me hear the end of it of how excited she is and the double dates and so many things we could do. We’ve never really discussed if we were ever going to tell others but I think it’s for the best we don’t. Alya wouldn’t be happy finding out that it’s already been two years, we’ve dug ourselves into a pit with this one honestly.”

Especially since it was Chat Noir. Alya would suffocate the both of them. The fact that he could envision it with such clarity made him grit his teeth.

He winced sympathetically. “I get you. Don’t worry, Marinette. Your secret’s safe with me. I promise. And don’t worry about your— ah— boyfriend. I hope he’s a nice guy.”

She nodded a bit too enthusiastically. “Oh. He’s wonderful.”

She gladly took his cup once he was done drinking the rest of the hot chocolate, and stood up to bin it. His hands clammed cold against the fabric of his pajama pants, and he wiped them against his thighs. He needed to tell her.

Seriously. He needed to tell her.

It wouldn’t be okay to continue this lie in front of her— especially since she called him her boyfriend to his face even though they’ve never talked about it— god what was he supposed to say to her when they saw each other again back at her house? How was he supposed to continue doing what he was doing now that he knew that she had a crush on him once?

He was going to faint.

He pulled out his phone while she pittered behind him, and cursed at the blinking empty spot on the top left corner of his screen. No signal. He couldn’t even text it to her even if he wanted to. He refreshed the messaging app just as a last measure, looking for anything that could come through. Nothing.

It wasn’t as if he hadn’t tried earlier today, hitting refresh over and over on the app looking for new messages. He’d typed and then untyped messages on how he would tell her what he’d been trying to prepare himself to say for weeks. Everytime he thought he had gotten a message that looked perfect, he thought of the way Marinette smiled and laughed, and realized that he would break into a thousand little cataclysm pieces if he messed this up and lost it. Lost her.

Was he a coward? Could he truly not just turn to her and open his mouth and say the words that he’s been trying to say all night ever since he came out of his tent and started poking at the fire, longing for her to be right next to him and happy that they were together? And not have to hide behind a stupid hexleather domino mask and have Plagg complain to him that he was being too much of a lovesick idiot to do anything about it except just continue to go to her house?

Was he not able to confess his true feelings to a girl who had literally just spoken about having a crush on him to the point that their friends had tried to set her up on numerous occasions with him? And yet, his mouth remained shut. Coward. He was a coward.

“Marinette?” He turned to look for her, surprised that she was returning to her seat with an apple. He pocketed his phone, shy. He watched her eat, battling his mouth and brain for words to form and speak and say it.

“Adrien? Everything okay?” She looked as nervous as he did.

“Yeah. Yeah, everything’s okay.” His tongue felt too big for his mouth. He didn’t want to ruin this. She was the greatest thing to happen to him. He couldn’t do it. Even if it made him flounder and upset at his cowardice, he couldn’t tell her. If something happened to their relationship because she was upset about it being him, Adrien would never be able to live it down.

“Are you sure?” He watched a trail of juice from the apple curl down her wrist.

“Oh, yeah. You should tell me more about him.” Adrien almost thunked his head back into the log behind him, disappointed in the way his voice sounded desperate. Anything to get Marinette from questioning why he looked like he was about to faint.

She looked up at him in between long lashes, adoration so crystal clear on his face. No. He definitely couldn’t tell her that it was him. “He’s my best friend. He’s my whole world.”

“More than Alya is?” He hoped he didn’t sound winded.

“Absolutely more.” She passed the apple between her hands, the puff at the end of her cap bobbing with her movements. “Oops. Don’t tell her that.”

He grabbed for the metal poker, letting his hands fidget with the sticks and the slow crackle of the fire. “What makes him your best friend?”

“He just knows so much about me. We spend so much time together. We’re hardly ever apart.”

“What’s your favorite moment with him?”

He knew her well enough to recognize her nostalgic gaze up to the starlit sky. He recognized her smile— reminiscing with such raw longing that Adrien had to give a double take in her direction. He wondered what specific moment she was thinking about. He wondered what moment he would pick if she ever asked him.

He remembered the days he would show up at her trap door, looking for somewhere to stay after a fight with his dad. Back when things were simple and Marinette was the only thing that could fix it.

Who was he kidding? Marinette was still the only thing that could fix it.

He remembered after the first few Akuma fights, when he would show up at her door just as a courtesy to check in if she was okay— the Akuma fights where Marinette would be in the middle of the fight begging the akumatized person to change their mind— and he would stay for hours. Under the pretence that he was concerned for a citizen of Paris, of course.

He remembered when she cried on his for the first time— something had happened at school that he had never understood because Marinette was a silent cryer when she cried, and didn’t speak other than the occasional curse word. He remembered when he cried on her for the first time. That was when he found out that she smelled like milksoap— and the scent had clung to his nose like a blanket for the entirety of the following day. The following school day he had felt that he was floating, drifting away in a cloud of milksoap.

He’d been useless during that following Akuma attack.

He remembered their first kiss— how could he not? The memory was seared into his head for the rest of time. It was one thing for him to lay on her bed while they watched cartoons together. It was another to lean towards her, hogging her body pillow, while she looked at him with wide expectant eyes. She wanted something from him, and he wasn’t sure what. A gentle little smile. Her breath caught on something. He couldn’t stop looking at her. What other choice did he have but to kiss her in that moment?

In her soft pajamas? Hair down? Cherry lip balm? The smell of hot chocolate on her breath? He wasn’t a fool. He had never been more sure of something in his life.

He still couldn’t remember what the cartoon was about.

Plagg had made fun of him for the entire day following it. He couldn’t help himself. All he wanted to do for the rest of his life was kiss her.

“My favorite memory would be… well. There was a day where he found out I have freckles.” Her voice took him out of his thoughts, and he nearly missed it.

“Your— your freckles?” He tilted his head, trying to give the impression that he had been paying attention.

Marinette’s eyes softened towards the fire, completely lost in thought. Adrien tried not to lose his breath. Even wind-chilled, and lips chapped, she made his heart hurt. “It was late, once. I think we were watching a movie at my place.”

It had been his idea to watch the movie. He had been absolutely certain that she would’ve loved the movie— and he was still sure— but they’d never finished. The entire time he had completely ignored it in favor of playing a game with her on trying to put his head on her lap without her trying to push him off the bed. She had laughed the entire time while he was trying, advocating on closing the movie app in favor of letting him cuddle. He’d gotten too close to her face, in the process— her laughter had died down. Her eyes were so much more bluer up close.

She had freckles. He remembered counting them— a smattering of dots across the bridge of her nose and the tops of her cheekbones. He’d lost track after twenty, since she’d broken away from him, stammering over her words that reminded him of when she talked to him as Adrien. It hadn’t taken a lot of brain power to realize that their movie night was done. He’d gone home after apologizing, and could barely look at her in the eye the next day.

“He looked at me like he had finally realized what I looked like,” Marinette laughed to herself, taking a bite of her apple. She was nearly done with it, Adrien noticed too late. She was going to get up soon. Maybe even head to bed. “It was the sweetest little moment we had, I feel like. I think about it all the time.”

Adrien could only keep the polite smile on his face for so long. Was she yearning for him? Did she know how much he wanted to burst from being so close to her but having to be a complete stranger? Did she know that he wanted to drown himself in the lake from how awake he was? If they parted for the night, he wouldn’t be able to sleep for the next week and a half. Plagg would never stop teasing him about it for the rest of time. If only she knew what he was going through. He tried not to choke on his tongue as his mouth ran over itself. “Marinette? I want to tell you something.”

She turned away from the fire to look at him fast enough to give him whiplash. “Oh. Did I— I’m sorry— did I over talk?”

“No, no not at all!” He could hear the strain in his voice. I’m here. I’m right here. It’s me. “I just. I just. Uhm.”

She tried to appease him. “Oh. If it’s about me having a crush on you, it’s okay. We’re just friends.”

He was an idiot. A huge idiot. Say the words. Say them. She was right there. Hugging distance. Kissing distance. He wanted to kiss her so badly. “No— well. It’s about the ‘you having a crush on me’ part, yes, but not just that.”

“Go on?” She winced at the weakness of her voice.

“I’m sorry.” Oh, he really wanted to drown himself now. What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he say it? He fought akumas harder than this, and he had bruises to prove it. Why couldn’t he just say the words? His hands were shaking in his lap. He was freezing and on fire. His miraculous ring was never more interesting than it was as he twisted it on his finger with his other hand.

She frowned, not at all understanding. “What are you apologizing for?”

“I’m sorry for not knowing you had a crush on me when we were younger.” He was the emotional equivalent of grasping at straws, desperate for himself to be able to say the words in the most graceful way. Chat Noir was a coward. He wondered if Ladybug would be mad if she knew that he was floundering on telling a girl his true feelings.

“Oh— oh. That’s— that’s fine.”

“It isn’t. I should’ve realized.” He was nervous enough to rake an entire hand into his hair. “I should’ve seen the signs. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize. I thought you had been just a best friend at the time.”

“Seriously— it’s— it’s fine.” She waved him away. “It was such a long— long— time ago. We were children.”

Adrien could do nothing but be silent for the following minutes. Marinette had a boyfriend now. Of course she would be over him. Even though she was still dating him. What a confusing mess…

Would she still be over him after he told her? If she walked away, or zipped herself in her tent? The following day of hiking would be awkward and terrible. Oh, God. He didn’t want to lose her. If he sat here and ignored everything— continued to stare into the fire, with her at his side— would he be able to withstand the rest of the weekend? She was understanding, and she was kind, but he couldn’t help himself from trying to preserve one of the best things to happen to him.

Would it hurt if he fell face first into the fire? Anything would be more bearable than this. He would never be able to model again— no more money, fine. Who cared? He’d be dead. Maybe. He could feel it bubbling in him, threatening to escape his mouth in whichever way it could.

“I— I’m Chat Noir.” He bit his tongue so hard he could taste copper, trying to stop himself from talking. He managed to hold back a string of curses that tried slipping through.

She nearly dropped her apple, which was now mostly cored, searching his face for a joke. “I— hold on— what?”

“I’m Chat. I’m Chat Noir.” He barreled through it like ripping off a bandaid, refusing to make eye contact. “I know you were talking about me being your boyfriend. For two years. It’s— I’m— I’m Chat Noir.”

“Are— are you sure?”

“What?” It was his turn to frown at her. Was she starting to smile? “What— huh? What do you mean ‘am I sure’?”

“Are you sure you’re Chat Noir?”

He had the audacity to look down at his miraculous ring, wondering for a split second if he had hallucinated the past four years of his life. “I think so.”

She threw her hands around him tight, fisting the back of his sweater with her hands. The apple went flying from her hand, past his tent, and somewhere into the bushes— snapping twigs along its path. The fire crackled low as the last stick in the firepit burned, the branding heat leaving way to the chill air. He paid no mind to any of it, his nose full of milksoap, and his hands full of soft fabric from her layers of long sleeves.

Laughter bubbled in his ear as she clung to him— soft, sweet laughter that gripped his heart to the point it hurt. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I already knew, Adrien— I’ve been waiting for you to tell me for a couple of hours now.”

“What? How— how did— you—” He couldn’t help himself from pulling her closer, burying his face into her shoulder, feeling faint and overwhelmed. He couldn’t feel the log behind him, and he couldn’t feel his toes.

She curled her hand in his hair, and Adrien nearly lost his mind. The entire time he had felt guilty about keeping this from her and she’d accepted him with open arms. He would argue that crying was absolutely a valid response. “It’s okay. It’s okay. Don’t cry, kitty-cat— it’s okay.”

He sucked in a breath. “How long have you known?”

“Just today. I found out this morning.”

“What do you mean? How did you—”

“You left early from my house today. You— you told me you needed to get ready for our trip, which was why you left so early from my house” She whispered. “I thought that was your way of telling me that you’re Adrien— but— you never mentioned it when we met up again at Alya’s house so I thought I’d— hallucinated it in my sleep.”

“Why didn’t you say something?” His mouth pinched. “Please— why— why didn’t you?”

She wiped a tear from his face. And then another. And then another. “I— I didn’t know if I’d heard you correctly, Adrien! I didn’t want to give something away just in case— so I’ve been trying to drop hints this entire time, instead.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, kitty-cat. You’re okay. Please don’t cry.”

He smothered her, pulled her into his lap to wrap the blanket around them, sucking in breath after breath. “I hadn’t even realized what I did— I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left you waiting for me to admit it— I’m sorry that I took so long to tell you— I’m so sorry that it took me this long.”

“It’s okay.” She shook her head, the strings of the cap falling across her shoulders again. “It’s okay, Adrien. We’re okay. Everything is okay.”

He tucked the stray piece of hair back underneath her cap, hands buzzing from the ability to touch her. He followed the outline of her eyes with his thumbs— he followed the outline of her cheeks and jawline, as well— petting each individual freckle that dusted her cheeks. “Marinette— my god— I’ve— I’ve been going crazy this entire day— I couldn’t do it anymore. I needed to tell you— I’ve been wanting to— to tell you— for— for the past two years. God. God.”

He tried his best not to squish her while he hugged her, but he couldn’t contain himself as soft peels of laughter mixed with his tears escaped. She laughed, and hugged him just as hard, squeezing all of the air in his lungs out.

Everything was okay. Everything was going to be okay.

“I couldn’t fall asleep without you, Princess.” He managed to say after they’ve cried enough.

“I couldn’t either,” She confessed into his shoulder. “It was terrible— so horrible. Alya hogs the sheets— and then she has the audacity to complain about me moving around too much. I honestly was starting to go nuts, I’m so tired without you. I can’t sleep without you anymore, kitty-cat— I was about to somehow convince you that we needed to sleep in the same area together.”

“I wouldn’t mind sharing a bed with you.” He kept his laughter down at the little pinch she gave him at his side. He couldn’t stop himself from pressing kisses to her forehead, at the edge of where her cap met her hairline when he brushed her hair back— when he kissed each individual constellation of freckles that dotted her upper cheekbones. “I’ll have you know, I’m an expert sleeper.”

She kissed him sweetly on the lips, giggling to the point it looked like it hurt. Adrien tried not to sniffle too hard as warmth after warmth filled his chest. “Believe me— trust me— we’ll sleep fine from now on.”

[purplesurveys]

1390

survey by chasingghosts

What's your favourite amusement park? Don’t have one; never was a fan of amusement/theme parks because I can’t get on any of the rides anyway.

Do you know your social security number (or equivalent) off by heart? No. The only two sets of numbers I know by heart would be my phone number and bank account number.

What would you take to a potluck dinner? Something savory that can be dipped, like roti with butter chicken, pita with hummus, or mini birria tacos.

Do you have any sisters? How is your relationship with them? I have a younger sister. It’s great, we barely bicker and are always joking around with each other and we look out for one another when we have to. My family is generally not emotionally close with one another and we’re all allergic to hugs and heart-to-heart talks, so my current relationship with my sister is actually already as good as can be.

When was the last time you changed your hair and what did you do to it? Last February! I bleached my whole head and now it’s this super light brown shade. Looking to dye it green in the future since that’s what I’ve been aiming for to begin with.

What's the most romantic thing you've ever done? Got a long-term ex a locket with a photo of her family on one side since I knew how much they meant to her; and a small piece of the first flower she ever gave me on the other side.

Do you listen to audiobooks? If so, what was the last one you listened to and did you like it? I don’t. I find it impossible to concentrate with them; I’ve always preferred doing the actual action of reading through text.

Describe yourself in five words. Extremely tired but pushing on.

What was your favourite class in high school? History and all the sub-variants that were taught to us - Philippine history in freshman year; Asian history in sophomore year; and world history in junior year.

When was the last time you did laundry? I’m not in charge of the laundry at home.

Do you own a leather jacket? Do you wear it often? NO that sounds awful to wear around here given the climate, hahaha. I’ll never have use for a leather jacket unless, like, I regularly go to parties and such.

Can you get Chinese food from a drive-thru in your town? Yeah, we have a pretty prominent Chinese fast food brand here and it has several nearby branches.

If you could choose your middle name, what would you pick? I wouldn’t; I already really like the name Isabelle.

Would you rather see a sunrise or sunset? Sunset.

Do you have any plans to buy any furniture in the near future? Yes; I want a loft bed and a customized shelf for all my merch.

When you go to bed, do you go to sleep straight away? Depends on how tired I am. Sometimes I do, and other times I fuck around on social media for an hour or so and watch videos til I feel sleepy.

What do you do for a living? I’m a public relations manager which basically means I handle clients and help lead campaigns for them and do my best to deliver good results for them.

Do you own a suitcase? When was the last time you used it? Where did you go? Yep but I haven’t had the chance to use it for a while now since I’m mostly a backpacker. The last time I *had* to use a suitcase was in 2016 when I went to China, Japan, and Korea.

How many pets have you had in your life? I can’t tell you with certainty since I had a number of goldfish as a kid. But other than that, we used to have a bunny, a chick, a cat, and two lovebirds. At present, we have two dogs.

Is there any soda in your fridge right now? I don’t think so. My mom usually has a bottle of Coke in the fridge but she’s currently under a strict-ish diet so she’s since replaced that with prune and cranberry juices.

Do you call it soda, pop, fizzy drink or something else entirely? Soda.

Do you need to get any groceries right now? What do you need? Technically I do since one of my cousins asked for a pack Shin Ramyun for “Christmas,” so I’ll have to stop by the store to get one before meeting with him tomorrow when my family comes over.

If I was visiting your town, what would you take me to see and do? I’d take you to the upper part of the city and go cafe/bar hopping so we can enjoy food and drinks with a great view of the Manila skyline.

What was the last thing you spent money on? A bunch of pastries and coffee from Starbucks since I offered to pay for Angela’s and Hans’ orders as well. And then I got cinnamon buns for my mom and sister too.

What subscription services do you have? Spotify, Netflix, Rhythm Hive.

Do you like olives? It’s not a favorite and will never be, but I won’t complain about them.

Would you rather be too warm or too cold? Too cold.

What's your favourite name for a girl? Mia. Martine/Martina are slowly becoming favorites, too.

How do you make your coffee? 3-in-1 coffee LOL just dump a pack in a cup, pour hot water, and enjoy.

Do you know anyone who has a matching tattoo with someone? (including yourself) Yeah, probably.

[madame-fouquet]

2020 Anime Retrospective

With the end of the year here, and all the anime that came with it now behind us, I feel like looking back and reminiscing on it. So, following the style of ANN's own yearly retrospectives, may I present my 2020 anime in review! Enjoy.

Best of the year: Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken

    This is actually not the first time Yuasa and his crew of, let's be honest, visionaries have rolled something special out right at the beginning of the year in some weird power move against everything else that has to follow it. They did it back in 2018 with Devilman Crybaby, and then they hit us this year with Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken.     You ever have one of those shows where you're just constantly in awe of everything it does? Where you never found yourself chasing merch or hunting after content based off it online, but you consistently find yourself thinking about it? Yeah, that's what Eizouken did to my brain after I watched it. It was such an earnest love letter to anime and anime production, to animation in general, that I couldn't help but get sucked into its imagination and enthusiasm. The way it was able to so perfectly illustrate that pure, boundless, childlike joy that one can derive from the simple act of creating, I'd be lying if I didn't say that it had a powerful effect on my own desire to continue creating. (Corny as that sounds, it's true.) The sheer amount of love it contains, and the equal amount it puts out into the world make it so I know I am going to be thinking about it again and again for a long long time.

Runner-up: Akudama Drive

    I don't know if it's really quite a matter of my two favorites being opposites, but there are definitely some pretty sharp stylistic and tonal differences between my two top shows this year. Akudama Drive's cocaine-fueled bender of an intro episode made it very clear what it's intentions were and what it wanted us to be prepared for. That doesn't mean I had ANY idea of where it was headed narratively, but I did know I was in for one hell of a ride. And it delivered is spades on that promise.     The twists and turns, no matter how insane, illogical, or steeped in tropes they were, were all such a colorful energetic spectacle that it would be hard to hold anything against the series. Every character was such a force that I didn't really consider any of them a weak point. Yeah, some of them were more or less cardboard cut-outs of antagonistic elements, but when the cardboard cutout looks REALLY FREAKING COOL, it's hard to get too torn up over the details. It's a show that oozes style and knew EXACTLY what it wanted to do and be, and I have to respect that.

Runner-up-up: Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun

    The next few entries aren't really in any sort of order, I actually found it near impossible to sort anything below my top two. Hanako-kun however does hold a bit of a special place for me though because, at least from a stylistic standpoint, it hits so many of my buttons. Just visually this show is the exact kind of thing my younger self would have latched onto immediately, even before knowing anything about the actual content. I suppose not much has really changed though.     I'm absolutely in love with the animation style of Hanako-kun, and I got really lucky that there is an interesting story and delightful cast of characters underneath that visual splendor. Along with the sharp lines, intense colors, and soft characters, I'm also a sucker for contemporary supernatural mysteries. That's a fancy way of saying one of my favorite shows as a kid was The X-files, but both make the point pretty well. The world of Hanako-kun has a lot to offer, and I can only hope it gets a second season so we can continue to delve into it's beautiful and terrifying mysteries.

Runner-up-up: Kaguya-sama: Love is War Season 2

    I know a lot of people will be talking about this one when it comes to “Best of” lists. I know a lot of people were talking about the first season when it reminded us just how funny anime can be back in 2018. Absurd high school comedies (Is that a genre?) could definitely be considered my favorite. Hell, of my top five favorite anime of all time, THREE of them fall under that category. So believe me when I say Kaguya-sama absolutely deserves the deluge of praise it receives. For what describing something as “laugh out loud” is worth, this show had me constantly needing to pause it just so I could finish laughing at whatever ludicrously funny misfortune had just befallen it's cast of lovable morons.     The thing is though, Kaguya-sama understands that you can't just earn love and goodwill on laughs alone, there needs to be a beating heart at the center of all the shenanigans. And when this season had me actually cheering on and feeling sorry for Ishigami of all people, I knew that beating heart was present and accounted for. Look, the cast are all self-centered idiots, but I'll be damned if they aren't also my dear children who I delight in watching slowly grow and become slightly less self-centered idiots.

Runner-up-up: Dorohedoro

    When the Dorohedoro anime was first announced, a lot of my experience was watching a group of people online scream about how they were so pumped that it was finally getting an anime. I had never heard of it before, but the excitement was very real and tangible. And I gotta say, sometimes you need to believe the hype.     I've never been one to shirk a series just because it was CG animation, (Watch ID-0 dammit!) but Dorohedoro makes a strong case for why people shouldn't sleep on something based solely on it's animation. The dirty, grease-encrusted world of Hole is brought to life with plenty of flair and style that, I feel, the CG didn't hold back at all. What I had seen said was that for a long time Dorohedoro was kinda considered “unanimateable” but I think MAPPA did the iconic manga a fair amount of justice. Even if pulpy ultra-violence isn't normally your thing, I still highly recommend giving Dorohedoro a look, it might just end up being a hole worth going down.

Honorable Mention: Show By Rock!! Mashumairesh!!

    I know what you're thinking, but hear me out. The first Show By Rock!! was definitely an indulgence for me. While not something I considered a high level series by any stretch: messy plotting, shallow characters, a weird isekai angle, a lackluster finale, and an even MORE lackluster second season, it still got is hooks into me with its sheer energy and fluffy charm. So despite the, as mentioned, rough second season, I was more than happy to check out the new series in the franchise. And boy was I glad I did.     Mashumairesh!! takes all the heart and sweetness that worked for the first series and dials it up. It then took a hard look at a lot of what DIDN'T work in the first series, and manages to fix most of the issues. Removing the isekai angle and the whole existential threat thing, and just letting the series be a “slice-of-life but in an electric animal filled music world” did wonders for the direction and consistency. Add to that more properly fleshed out characters, and you get a series that is far stronger than it's progenitor.     The next series, Show By Rock!! Stars!!, will be adding back the cast from the first series, and that could very well be a sign that it will be falling back into its old habits, but the presence of the Mahumairesh!! girls gives me hope that it might have a chance of staying the new, far better course.

Worst of the Year: Digimon Adventure:

    This one really hurts to say. What hurt more was how quickly I knew what show I'd be electing for this position. One thing to clarify is that I would not nominate a series that I'd only watched one or two episodes of, that's just not fair. So the award was bound to go to something I had at least dedicated a decent amount of my time too. And in any other year this may have gone to something that was more my “least favorite” or had an ending that disappointed me. But unfortunately I have to be honest and sit here and tell you that the newest entry in the Digimon franchise was easily the worst thing I watched this year.      I have been a long time Digimon fan. Ever since I was but a wee lass watching the original Digimon Adventure premiere on Fox Kids at a family reunion, I have always considered the franchise a sort of cornerstone of my anime fandom. So please understand the excitement I had felt when I found out they were doing a full on remake of that flagship series. Imagine how absolutely pumped I was when the bombastic movie-like premiere of Digimon Adventure: wowed us with everything it delivered, and all the promises of what was to come. And then imagine my disappointment, my despair as the show devolved until it showed us what it really was during the finale of the Fake Tokyo arc.     I would call it a production meltdown, but considering the precedent that got set back in episode 10 during the already shaky Ultimate Evolution arc, has been so clearly informing everything up to the current episodes in the early 30s, I have to be honest with myself and admit: this is what we were going to get all along from day one.     All of the heart that had made the original series so endearing, despite its own flaws, just isn't present here. What you get here is just a non-stop (and I mean non-stop) string of barely related fights with poorly-defined stakes, or sometimes no real stakes at all. It's just one ugly set piece fight after another as the children chase after vaguely implied evils. I think the most damning thing is how much more I could say about just how much this series has let me down. Like I said, this one hurts.

Best Theme-Song of the Year: Night Running (BNA)

     My opinion of BNA as a series is complex. But my opinion of its ED, Night Running, is simple: Its a god-damned bop! I could spend this whole section talking about the artistry of the ED animation itself, its fun and creative use of color, the slight variations for certain episodes, the focus on character, or the fact that it was done by an American animation team. I could even talk about the song's importance to the series as a whole and its place in the narrative. I won't though. The fact of the matter is that even without all that, I STILL probably would've picked Night Running as my best of the year because as a song it is just that much my jam. This is the kind of shit I could listen to on repeat for hours, days, weeks, and still keep coming back to it. Don't get me wrong, Ready To is a damn powerful and catchy tune that goes hard, but at the end of the day, I'm a sucker for a soulful pop tune like Night Running. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWTFfEnMCCc

Best Character: Sayaka Kanamori

    This was actually probably the hardest category for me to decide on. It was stuck hard between Eizoken's Kanamori and Akudama Drive's Doctor. I know those are a powerfully different pair in basically every way, but it was specifically for their startling differences that both characters stuck out to me so much. In the end though, it was the poignant rounding out of, and emotional hooks of Kanamori's character that let her triumph over her delightfully two-dimensional opposition.     Kanamori already had me from episode one. In a show that I wasn't really worried about the usual diversions of anime ingestion like picking a favorite character, Kanamori sealed herself as “Best-girl” from the word go. I have mad respect for a girl who knows what she wants, and has a clear idea of how she's going to go about getting it (See also: Doctor.) But Kanamori was more than a driving desire for success and money. Underneath her unstoppable ambition there was a very real, very relatable driving impetus. She stood apart, and yet still believably vulnerable and invested in the people she associated with. It was always a blast watching her suffer as the only thing keeping the more creative minds on track, and yet she was never reduced to a simple task master; her love and respect for her friends was always clearly visible. I could go on and on about how Kanamori is a nearly perfect character, but I hope I've said enough already without having to resort to senseless rambling.

Best Moment: Howan confesses her feeling to Himeko (Show By Rock!! Mashumairesh!!)

    By the time episode six rolled around, Mashumairesh!! had already shown marked improvements over its progenitor in basically every area. Not only was the story in a better place by focusing on what had worked in the original series, (Ya know the BAND part of this show about bands) but the cast was also doing a good job of standing out from their seniors and feeling more equally rounded out. Where the original series had just kinda been the Cyan show with guest stars, I felt like I had an actual grip on all four of the main girls now.     There were however the usual issues that come with a cute-girls-doing-cute-things series, chief among them the “ambiguously gay member of the group who constantly reacts with clear romantic interest towards the main protagonist but the writing will never actually do anything with those feelings” trope. Retoree had spent the better part of the first two seasons fawning over Cyan only for nothing to come of it and, despite the increased focus on all of the girls this time around, it looked like we were going to get the same old song and dance with Himeko's feelings towards Howan.     But then the climax of episode six hit and, midst a really intense subplot about Himeko's abandonment complex, Howan comes out with a straight up love confession. And I kept waiting for the usual dead-ends these moments always seem to have. The “I love you! I love the girls too! I love the band!” Or a “I love being with you.” and the dreaded, “I love having you as my most precious friend.” But none of that happened. It was a full on heart-felt, “I love you, Himeko. I want to stay with you forever!” I'm just not used to getting that sort of straightforwardness from my silly little band shows, so I was shocked, but also completely overjoyed. And frankly the series just kept getting better from there.     The evolution of their relationship built off that moment, no dreaded resetting of the status quo. I daresay it was on the power of this moment alone that I wanted to include this series in my top five at all. If there was anything I would want other anime to take from Mashumairesh!! it's that it's okay to introduce radical changes to character relationships partway through a season, and it's okay to let characters unequivocally state their feelings for each other. People will respond positively to that earnestness, I promise.

[slushyseals]

THANK U FOR THE WARNING WTF how could ppl be so mean to wanna scam us seal lovers...

No prob bob…er… mergoth!

General info on bootlegs under the cut!

Amazon has a pretty bad problem with bootleggers, and to make it worse there’s a ton of other places the scammers are posting the knockoffs. Honestly there are a TON of bootleg products out there, this one just hit my niche so it was easy for me to recognize it, and I have a fairly decent number of followers with a similar interest (seals) so hopefully I can warn most people before they’re tricked. At this point I think most people that will be tricked will be people who aren’t super into seals and see one of the random ads. I’ve tried getting things taken down from Amazon before and it is near impossible (someone was selling my artwork on a product), I imagine Facebook is the same case.

I think a lot of people get enough good products from Amazon that they just trust their purchases are the same as going to a legitimate store- Amazon is flooded with bootlegs, many that aren’t just fan art shirts and merch but products (like figma action figures) that the bootleggers disassemble a legit sculpt and make their own molds to cast lower quality figures. Most popular products have a bootleg version, some under a parody name but some that look so identical you can’t tell them apart unless you know the product line really well and have an authentic one to compare with side by side.

(The one on the left is the fake)

The one good thing about shopping on Amazon is you can return products and their customer service is really good, so if you or someone you know got a bootleg off amazon and it’s within the first 30 days, file a dispute. There’s a good chance that not only will you get your money back but you can probably keep the bootleg as well, which will hit the scammers in the pocket book, where it hurts. If enough of us do that Amazon will take notice.

And yeah, I get that some of us like the cheaper option- they shouldn’t be marketing it under photos of the original item; they should make their own design. Looking at all the pictures, I think they bought a real one, cut it apart at the seams to make a pattern, and then did some method of photo copying (that didn’t get all the details and somehow messed up the sizes???) to fabric print on the new pieces. It’s a complicated form of art theft, and bait and switch scamming.Here’s some tips I got from https://goboiano.com/33-bootlegged-figures-will-make-cringe/ about action figure bootlegs

If any part of the figure is shiny, it’s most likely fake. The face of the figure is usually a dead giveaway.

Real figures are very detailed and have little to no imperfections. Bootlegs usually have messy paint jobs and bright coloring.

Order from official websites or official partners ONLY. It’s best to avoid eBay unless you are sure that it sells official figures/merchandise. Stores from Japan are most likely to sell legitimate goods, but this is not always the case.

“Chinese versions” listed as CHN ver. on any marketplace are usually fakes.

Look for an official seal or sticker on a box.

Nendoroids usually run about a base price of $30-$70 dollars depending on the model/ demand for the character. Figmas usually start around $50-$70. Large scale/PVC figures (depending on the scale) usually start at $70 and go into the hundreds. Anything that is significantly less than these prices is more than likely a bootleg. Bootlegs are usually listed at half of these costs.

Prize figures, gashapons, and keychains are cheap and are harder to differentiate the real and fake versions, since they cost less anyways. Be more cautious when ordering these.

Make sure to search the figure before buying to see the overall price. Anything $10 lower is fishy.

The more popular a fandom, the more likely it will have bootlegs. Anything’s game though.

Don’t trust every single anime store, con vendor, or online shop. There are popular conventions that have vendors who sell bootlegs. Sometimes, they will even be the same price as real merchandise! Look up an official partnership list to make sure. For example, Good Smile’s partnership list can be located here.

Not all differences between figures are that apparent. Some may have a really convincing look and paint job. What happens if you buy it, however? Sometimes parts will not fit or it will break almost immediately. Plus, it supports an illegal business and hurts the company.

[youtotallymadethatup]

When we decided to start a podcast that focused on supernatural stories, we looked into other podcasts of the same vein, as well as those being hosted by two women. While it would be near-impossible to listen to all that’s out there, we checked out a lot. And we also read over any reviews available, learning from both the positive and the negative. Oh boy, did we ever learn. 

So we hope you’ll find we’re similar to ones you already enjoy in some ways, but mostly we hope you’ll find we’re different in other ways - and for the better. Read on to learn about our format, things we plan to keep doing, and things we strive to improve upon with each and every episode.

.Here’s what you’ll find…

A skeptic and an open-minder 

While some stories we feature are definitely hard to believe, one of us tends to be 99% skeptical and the other holds out a touch of hope that something spooktacular could be out there. We don’t argue or debate or anything, but the contrast is there and so between us, we hope you find someone to relate to as it concerns your own personal outlook. (Tiff is the hopeful one - Nash reserves that 1% in case ghosts happen to be glitches from a parallel timeline which could someday be scientifically explained, which would be super awesome.)

We’re not historians or folklore specialists 

This can be a pro or a con depending on your perspective, sure. Here’s the thing, and real talk: those peeps, while supremely knowledgeable, can often be a snoozefest. Not all, but some. And they aren’t often surprised by the weirdness - and we absolutely are. We acknowledge the context of the time in history the weird is happening, sure, but c’mon, now. Ridiculousness transcends time, and any people in any time frame are capable of applying critical thinking and using the information available to them at the time to make informed decisions. We can see how they might think correlation = causation, but when presented with evidence and other options, welp - we’re totally going to have some laughs at their expense. We’re okay if this makes us bitches.

Variety under the umbrella of “spooky”

We noticed either a focus on history or focus on folklore or focus on true crime or on mystery/the unsolved, and like we say in our About page, we wanted a little bit of everything. Besides, the spooky stuff often overlaps with a lot of those things, so we wanted to include it rather than leave those parts out. 

The “true stories” part

The stories aren’t just a bunch of rumors that, say, there’s a cryptid in yonder woods and people have said XYZ - no, no, no. We want more than that. We want an actual story, with specific names and places and encounters and whatnot. We want background on these people. We want testimonials. We want the scoop. Oh, and on the topic of the stories, we try to surprise the other with as minimal coordination as we can manage - we want to give you real time reactions.

How we tell you the things

Getting on with it, limiting personal anecdotes, and too much cursing are some critiques that seem to pop up a lot in reviews on other podcasts. We do strive to get into the stories quickly, and not having lengthy openers, and so far, so good. We can’t promise there will never be personal elements because sometimes we’ll have things in our own lives that are relevant, and maybe you’ll relate to them, who knows? As far as language, we’re marked as “explicit”, so this isn’t for kindergartners - we can’t promise we won’t curse if we get fired up, it’s happened already, as you know. But we’re adults, and while we’re allowed to use the verbiage we desire, know we’re not fans of using curses for every single descriptor and interjection. We get it - nobody likes constant potty mouths.

Not over-produced

We do use notes - I mean holy moly, you’ve heard how deep we’ll dig into the topics! - but not scripts, per se, and we certainly don’t script any interjections. Rest assured there will not be any mood music behind our voices. We want this conversational and relaxed, not edited to death - the editing process mostly involves taking out the background noise that can pop up unexpectedly thanks to kids and pets. And of course, burps. There’s been burps. Nobody’s proud.

The technical stuff

And speaking of production, we’re learning more with every episode about sound and editing - we’re in two different states, so sometimes we’ll overlap each other when we try to interject with a comment, and hopefully that isn’t terribly bothersome when it occasionally happens. We welcome any advice on mics and sound and things like this that you may have - we’ve already gotten some, took the advice, and it’s helped improve the quality.

We actually do our research

If you wanted to know what a wikipedia article says, you could read it yourselves. You know those podcasts. We don’t need to name names. And yeah, you’ll see wikipedia pop up in show notes on occasion, but it’s because it can often be a great jumping off point, and lead us to other sources. But never the only source. No, nope, nyoooope.

Sponsors and such

If we get to a point where we have sponsors, we’ve already talked with more than a few friends who listen to podcasts - as well as taking in what some of those aforementioned negative reviewers on other podcasts have stated - about preferences such as placement in the episode and length. Some folks will never be pleased, but ads are often a necessary component in podcasts. We’ll jump off that bridge if we come to it, just know we’ve already given it thought.

We want you to participate

A lot of podcasts limit the participation of listeners to simply donations or buying merch, and hey - if we hit it big, who knows? Maybe some day we’ll have a patreon and maybe we'll sell stuff, we just don’t know. Regardless, one thing that won’t change is that we want to hear from you, we want to know any topics you want us to cover, and we want to hear your personal stories (you know, the stuff that’s happened to you or a member of your family or something from your hometown). We’re also likely always going to encourage you to rate and review, because it helps us climb the charts, and expose us to more potential listeners. 

And on that note - how do you think we’re different? What do we do that other podcasts are doing right? Are there any areas in which you think we can improve? Please don’t hesitate to let us know via the Submit and/or Ask functions. We can’t say it enough: We love hearing from you!

[ibelieveinahappilyeverafter]

Villainous Heroics - Chapter 4

Hm. So. It appears I've accidentally dropped some plot into what was supposed to be a silly little slow burn story. This is where we start to really deviate from what @corndog-patrol​'s AU has already shown, but hopefully you guys enjoy it and I can find out where to go from here because the last scene here was certainly a surprise!

Enjoy!

                  Click here to read the work on Archive Of Our Own.

                    Click here to read the work on Fan Fiction Net.

If you found yourself enjoying this, then check out my writing commissions.

                                          ⍣ I have a Patreon! ⍣                                            ☪ I have a tip jar! ☪

Summary: Eraserhead is an underground hero who is constantly busy and doesn’t have time to be dealing with new villains - even if they aren’t all that villainous and make the night interesting.

Present Mic is the latest up-and-coming villain in the world and he has a point to prove to everyone out there - as long as he doesn’t keep getting distracted by Eraserhead.

Aizawa Shota is someone who soon learns that there is more to someone than the mask they show to the world - especially when it comes to playing heroes and villains.

Yamada Hizashi learns that there is more to heroics and villainy than he could have ever thought - especially in a world where some heroes still care about those lost in the shadows.

(Inspired and dedicated to corndog-patrol’s Villain!Mic AU on Tumblr.)

              <<First/Chapter>> <<Last Chapter>> <<Next Chapter>>

                                               Chapter Four

“Do you think Eraserhead is just a tsundere?” The simultaneous realization and question came to Hizashi in a fit of brilliance as he laid on his apartment floor and thought about his last few fights with the hero on his mind. “I mean, his smiles kind of make me think he’s about to kill me, and all, but he fits the personality type, don’t you think? He doesn’t care what anyone thinks, but then he worries when he breaks my glasses and jokes around during fights, sometimes.”

Hizashi had known from the start that Eraserhead hadn’t had the best of public images - if any public image at all. He had known because he had known Eraserhead before he had set about becoming a villain. Aizawa was an underground hero, yes, but he was still a hero. The world always had its eyes trained on heroes  - hidden or not.

“Maybe he really does like me back and he’s just playing it cool until the right time. But then when would the right time be? I mean, it’s not like anyone would know if he started dating a villain, right? Barely anyone knows about him besides people like me!”

That, at least, was the utter truth. Eraserhead was a name known only to those who lived in rough areas like where Hizashi did, and it didn’t matter if the person was villain, thug, or civilian. When forced to live in the shadows and always watch your back, it was hard to not know about the ones who did good.

The area Hizashi lived in was utter shit with old buildings, poor funding, and a police station that didn’t care about any of them unless they had to please some higher up. The news always started with the latest tragedy that happened overnight and ended with a list of those missing. It was depressing and once someone lived in these types of areas it was near impossible to get out.

Then the news had one day started with a story about how two women had been saved by an unknown hero who dressed in black clothing and used some kind of scarf as a weapon while hiding behind yellow goggles.

“‘S not fair that no one knows about the good he does. I get that he’s underground, but that doesn’t mean I can’t help give him a good image! If that takes three different fan accounts, making my own hero merch, and making stupid online videos, then so be it!” A lot of what he did was just to give him a distraction when his thoughts became too loud for even him, but Hizashi liked to think that his constant social media presence screaming about the good of pro hero Eraserhead was at least doing some good.

“Hey, I didn’t start all this villain stuff just to meet Eraserhead, you know. I did it for more reasons than that.” He had been waiting for some uncaring, high-on-life pro hero to show up that night of his debut so he could make a point, but instead of anyone he had expected, he had been captured in a heartbeat by a scowling man who had made sure all civilians were safely out of the way before giving ‘Present Mic’ any attention. “I can still multitask, though, don’t you think?”

Tilting his head back to face the one he had been talking to, Hizashi frowned as a small, white paw landed on his forehead, a loud meow echoing around his dingy apartment. There was a moment of silence, and then Hizashi felt the hint of claws against his skin.

“If you claw me, then it’s dry food only for the next week, Snowball, and you know I’ll keep my promise.” The claws receded and Hizashi gave a light grunt as his cat, far too large for having been such a tiny, half-drowned kitten a few months ago, jumped onto his chest and settled down. “Thank you for your wise words.” The meow Snowball gave sounded smug. Hizashi both hated and loved it.

“Maybe I’m thinking about this too deeply… Do you think I’m focusing too much on Eraserhead?” It had been a couple months now, after all, and Hizashi had yet to see another pro hero in his area - underground or otherwise. As wonderful as Aizawa was and as much as Hizashi wanted a date with the man, he had to remember his goal. He had to prove just how broken this system of heroes and villains was.

A buzz from his phone had him startling out of his thoughts, Hizashi digging it out before seeing that it was an update on the underground Eraserhead forums he had joined. After a moment of debate, he unlocked his screen and tried not to grin.

It wouldn’t hurt to take a bit longer of a break, and, considering he had nothing pressing to do, Hizashi supposed he could stand to think about Aizawa for just a bit longer.

                                                             ::

“Welcome to Lovely Coffee- Oh, wow, you look awful.” Hizashi had seen Aizawa dozens of times since that first day he had wandered into the shop he worked in, but he hadn’t ever seen him look this bad. The man always looked a few moments away from falling asleep, but right now he looked like he was on the verge of total collapse.

“Aren’t you supposed to be nicer to your customers?” Yes, but what they had was special. Of course, Hizashi couldn’t say that without being found out as Present Mic and, not only would that get him fired, but that would mean he could never hide from Aizawa again. Mostly, though, he just needed to make his rent, this time. “I’ll have my usual.”

“I think I’m legally obligated to stop you from having so many espresso shots. You look like you died and then someone with a Reanimation quirk brought you back to life.” There was a half moment where Hizashi saw Aizawa almost smile before he was glaring at him. Thankfully, Hizashi was near immune to those glares after so much exposure. “Will you at least please order something to eat with your coffee order this time?”

“No. I don’t like eating in the mornings,” Aizawa grumbled, words quieter than they normally were. The man was a pretty quiet person, of course, but this was too quiet.

“You used to always order those cute cat muffins we made here before we stopped making them,” Hizashi complained, starting on the coffee anyways as Aizawa dug his money out.

“Yes. Then you stopped making them.” Yeah, because the boss and owner of the store was an utter cheapskate. “I’ll be fine.”

“No offense, but you really don’t look like you’ll be fine.” Hizashi added only one espresso shot this time, knowing it would be enough to get the man through until lunch and then maybe, hopefully, he would collapse somewhere and get some sleep. “Did you take on too much work or something?”

“You’re nosy.” Ah, his dear Eraserhead was blunt as always. Hizashi supposed it probably did look strange in how curious he was. “And no. It’s just been noisy outside my apartment.” Aizawa must have sensed he was ready to start up a new line of questioning because he snorted as he took his coffee. “Construction work. They’ll be done by next week.”

“Oh, well, I was going to offer my help, but I can’t really do much about that.” He couldn’t, at least. Present Mic, on the other hand… “Are you sure you don’t want a blueberry muffin or anything? They’re my favorite, personally, but the apple cinnamon is pretty good- Oh! The banana scone is great with black coffee-”

“You talk a lot.” Once again, blunt as always. At least the words were familiar ones in his life. “Thanks for the coffee.”

“Oh- Yeah! Of course!” Hizashi did his best to not swoon, but that was the first time Aizawa had ever actually thanked him like that. He was absolutely in love.

Hopefully Aizawa would be, too, once Present Mic showed him just what he could do and, thankfully, that turned out to be a lot.

It had taken a night of careful following – not stalking - to figure out where Aizawa lived, of course, but it had taken no time at all for Hizashi to steal all the keys to the construction vehicles and hold them hostage from the workers. Half of them had seemed to want to beat the shit out of him, but Hizashi was amused by the older ones who just took an early lunch.

There were spare keys and other types of equipment to deal with, of course, and running anytime the police were brought in, but Hizashi prevailed in the end. Well, really he supposed he ended up delaying progress so much that management agreed to stop in the late evening and pick back up in the morning. The workers looked pleased enough to hear that they would no longer be working nights, though, and Aizawa wouldn’t have to deal with loud noises anymore, so Hizashi called it a success.

His attempt to bring back his coffee shop’s cat muffins was also a success - in a way. Present Mic had threatened his boss, which had felt wonderful, but Hizashi himself was the one who had to show up an hour or two early each shift to now actually make the muffins. At least they sold well to people besides just Aizawa, he mused.

It had all worked out wonderfully well and Hizashi was sure he had gotten away with it all until he found himself hanging upside down from where he was tied up with Aizawa’s capture scarf and dangling from a lamppost.

“Eraser! I haven’t seen you in ages,” Hizashi greeted cheerfully, trying not to let himself get motion sickness as he swung back and forth. “I’ve missed you.”

“Stop it.” Before he could speak again, Aizawa was talking over him. “Why did you stop the construction?”

“C’mon, now, Eraser, you know as my greatest enemy you have to be at the top of your game to defeat me!” Alright, Hizashi may have put a bit too much force and cheer in his words as he swayed in the hold, entire world moving around him. He was finding that he didn’t like being upside down. “Could you at least put me on the ground, please?”

“No. Did you follow me home? Don’t answer. Of course you did. You could have cost a lot of people their jobs, you know.”

“And I should care? I’m a villain, you know.” There was no need for Aizawa to know that Hizashi had worried about that and had upped his presence at the construction site so management would have no excuse to blame the workers for the delays. “Besides, the sounds annoyed me whenever I wanted a nightly stroll.”

“You threatened a coffee shop.” Yes, well, he supposed at the core of it all, he did threaten a coffee shop. Before he could defend himself, he squealed as he fell a few inches in the air, Aizawa stopping his descent just before his head hit the ground.

“Was that necessary?!” Hizashi winced as he could hear his quirk at the edges of his words. He quickly forced it down, trying to keep his words even. “And I just had a friendly chat with them!”

“No more friendly chats. The workers there actually make decent coffee and it’s on my way to my other job.” Aizawa sounded uncaring, but Hizashi knew that he was complimenting his coffee skills. His heart could tell.

Besides, it was all worth it where Aizawa was seeming a lot more perked up and well rested - or at least, as close to it as he could get. His eyes were still bloodshot and there were still bags under his eyes, but he looked better by leaps and bounds since the first time Hizashi had noticed. He supposed the constant exhaustion was explained by the reveal of his other job, Hizashi mused.

“Tell you what, hero,” Hizashi cooed out the last word in English, grinning at the glare he was given in return. “I’ll make you a deal.”

“You’ve been trying to capture me for months and I’ve punched you more times than you could probably count,” Aizawa grumbled, voice irritated. Hizashi let the silence sit, trying not to grin when the man sighed. “What deal?”

“I won’t do any villainy for the next week in exchange for a kiss from you,” Hizashi said simply, almost laughing as he saw shock on the other’s face. He had seen Aizawa surprised, of course, but he had never seen him shocked. “What do you say, hero?”

His answer came in the form of a sudden loss of gravity, Hizashi shrieking as he hit the ground and landed on his back, groaning as the world settled down around him and Aizawa walked up to him without quite making eye contact, “As if I would ever kiss you.”

Hizashi had been right. Aizawa was a tsundere. Cracking his eyes open, Hizashi felt his pain lessen when he saw the edges of what could have maybe been a smile on Aizawa’s face. It disappeared, of course, but it had still been nice to see.

Aizawa shook his head with a heavy sigh before speaking, “And what villainy? You aren’t even a real villain.”

“What? Yes I am! I pull off heists and crimes all the time!” Just because he didn’t recklessly attack people didn’t mean he wasn’t a villain.

“Oi, oi, do you even know how to get labelled as a villain?” Aizawa knelt beside him, not worried about Hizashi fighting back considering he was still wrapped up in the capture scarf. He couldn’t even wiggle. “A villain is labelled after repeated use of their quirk in public spaces for nefarious purposes.”

“I do nefarious things in public spaces,” Hizashi defended as quick as he could, knowing it was a losing battle as all the others had been.

“You don’t use your quirk,” Aizawa said simply. Hizashi… Well. Aizawa had a point. He didn’t use his quirk, at least, not in his villain work. He used it in self-defense when he needed too, but he couldn’t just go around using his quirk all the time. It was dangerous.

“Who says I need to use my quirk to cause trouble?” Hizashi shot back. While Eraserhead may have been the only hero he liked and Aizawa was a decent person, he didn’t get to sit there and lecture Hizashi like he was some misbehaving kid. “I can be just as dangerous without it.”

“Dangerous?” Aizawa raised an eyebrow, looking amused. “You’re just loud.” No, he wasn’t. “It’s noisy, but it’s not that bad.” Liar. Hizashi knew what his quirk could do. It was dangerous. It was dangerous. It might as well have been a villain’s quirk. “C’mon. Police station.”

“I didn’t even do anything tonight!” Hizashi whined, not fighting as he was pulled to his feet and properly cuffed.

“Disrupting construction work and threatening the owners of stores is a crime, you know, and those two you haven’t been charged for, yet.”

“Didn’t even get my kiss,” Hizashi grumbled to himself, not fighting too much as he was dragged away. As nice as it was of Aizawa to try and ‘save’ him, there was little point in it.

Hm. Hizashi would have to prove just how pointless it was and show Eraserhead just how much of a threat Present Mic could be. First, though, he needed to remember to call his boss and let him know he’d be running late for work.

Being a villain was exhausting, he was finding.

                                                              ::

“So, I hear you’re the new villain stirring up trouble around here!” Startling at the hand that touched his shoulder, Hizashi carefully glanced to his left to see a man who looked entirely unassuming and had a polite, neutral smile that would be well suited to someone in business marketing.

“Nice to see my name is getting out there!” Spinning around in his chair, Hizashi put on a dazzling smile as he took a quick second to scan the room. The club he was in that night was a busy one and so the music was covering up their voices nicely, drowning them out to anyone who would be trying to listen. The path to the door was obscured by a crowd of moving and dancing bodies and at least three people were casting glances over at them. All of them looked like they could fight. “Oi, oi, if you know I’m a villain, shouldn’t you be running away?”

“On the contrary. You see, I’m someone who likes to help aspiring people such as yourself reach their lofty goals.” The man’s voice was average. Everything about him was average and it was so wrong. This man was dangerous, and that much Hizashi knew for certain. “Tell me, Present Mic, what are you in the business for?”

“I need a reason to have a little fun?” Hizashi laughed loud and bright, trying to keep his posture loose and relaxed even as he shifted his weight around so he could run if he needed to. “I got bored.”

“No one becomes a villain by just being bored, Present Mic.” This one was too smart. He didn’t like it. “I have an offer for someone with a quirk like yours.”

“You need someone to do some screaming?” Hizashi said, tilting his head in feigned cluelessness as he tried to calm his racing heart. Not many knew what his quirk was - and for good reason. “I’m pretty sure there’s a lot of people out there who can scream.”

“Not like you can. Your quirk would be… advantageous to those I work with if you’d be willing to hear more.” Ah… A villain’s quirk, huh?

“And what makes you think I want anything to do with those you work with?” Hizashi hid his fear as he had always done, putting on a pout and pitching his voice into something whiny and childish. He had a feeling his masks didn’t work in front of this man.

“Let’s just call it… belief.” The words were near lost in the thrumming of laughter and singing and screaming in the air, the bass pumping out a rhythm that Hizashi mirrored in the tapping of his fingers. “We’d be willing to help you in return, of course.”

“Help, huh? Who says I need any help?” Before he could move away, a business card with something attached to it was slipped inside his jacket pocket. 

“Well, we could all use a little help. How would you like to make that quirk of yours stronger?” Stronger? Like hell he wanted that! His quirk was already strong enough to bring down buildings if he wasn’t careful.

“Look-” A wild scream from behind him had him turning around quickly, Hizashi sighing in relief when he saw it was just someone who couldn’t hold their drink and had fallen to the floor. Looking back to the man, Hizashi blinked as he saw he and the people who had been watching them were gone.

“Help, huh?” Turning back around in his chair, Hizashi carefully pulled out the card with the napkin his drink had been resting on, wary of touching something that could be laced with who knew what.

It took a few moments, but he managed to see that it looked like a plain old business card that was white enough to shine in the dim lights of the club. On one side was a number and on the other was a single word, along with what looked like a sealed piece of candy at first glance.

Looking the word over, Hizashi frowned as he shoved the card back into his pocket. A stronger quirk…

“Trigger, huh?” He had a bad feeling about that.

[hes-woman]

With All My Heart

*At 2K+ words, this is the longest piece I think I’ve ever written, and possibly my favourite. I was going to hold off on posting until I had something else written, buuuut it’s the last show tonight, and this is based nearly a month ago. So, here’s a huge amount of fluff, from msg night one, which just so happened to also be their anniverary.*

Sat on the edge of the stage, legs dangling over the side as they swayed back and forth, Harry could see the whole of the stadium, from the pit a few feet away from his swinging feet to the seats at the very back. It was a stark contrast to the restricted view of the crowd he'd had less than two hours ago, the only evidence of there being people present past the first few rows being the loud cheers that bounced off the walls.  

Looking around the stadium, he felt small. Without the company of his previous bandmates or that of his current band, the space surrounding him seemed so much larger and more intimidating. There wasn't much time to contemplate the size of the stadium when he was performing, too pumped on adrenaline to pay mind to the feeling of apprehension bubbling within him.  

He felt a tad lonely, as well, although he was aware that he was partially to blame for that fact, if not fully. He'd denied your usual post-concert cuddles, that more often than not turned into a pretty heavy make out session. He'd denied the beer offered to him by Adam, along with the invitation of an evening in the bar a few streets away. He'd denied anyone the chance to properly congratulate him before he slipped back onto the stage. He'd denied himself the comfort of another person's company, with the motive of keeping to himself for a while, to clear his head and sit back in a moment of gratitude. 

"Hey, mister, I was beginning to wonder where you'd got to," you called over to him from the side of the stage. You were clad in a merch shirt that was a few sizes too big and displaying ‘6/21 New York’ at the bottom, tucked into a pair of jeans, your hair in a bun and nothing but a pair of socks on your feet, the vans which you'd previously worn hanging off your fingertips.  

His head snapped up to meet yours, a slightly solemn expression on his face until he noticed the way your features were lit up with a grin on your face. A small smile spread across his own face as he gestured for you to join him, laughing as you seemed to trip over everything in your path, which earned him a glare.

"I think everyone's headed back to the hotel now; well, the rest of the band and most of the crew, at least. I think your mum's nearly ready to go, as well. 'M feeling very awake tonight, though, so I was wondering if you fancied going out for a bite to eat?"

He nodded, leaning his head onto your thigh as you rested your hand on his head lightly to stop yourself toppling over from the added pressure. "I'm not surprised you're awake – tossed and turned all night and then slept in until past noon," he snorted, dodging your attempts to swat the back of his head, "But, yeah, I'm up for food. Saw you eyeing up those burgers in the diner across the road from the hotel earlier, s'that what you want?"

"That's a great shout, actually, sometimes I think you know me better than I know myself," you laughed, accepting the hand he offered to help you sit down next to him. You positioned yourself so you were facing him, legs crossed and fiddling with the laces on your feet. "You've been unusually quiet since you came offstage, something troubling you?" The shake of his head you received in response prompted you to continue further, "You don't have to be happy all the time, y'know? Just 'cause you're doing something you enjoy doesn't mean that you're not allowed to feel a bit down sometimes. And, I think you forget that I can see through your façade, H, you're not exactly a very quiet person, usually."

"Just feeling a little overwhelmed," he started, unable to dodge your gaze or questions, "Six years seems like a really long time, but I've experienced things in those six years that most people don't experience in their lifetime. Last time we were here, things were so different. We weren't together, you didn't even come to see me," he paused momentarily when you let out a little scoff of disapproval, "yes, I know, you came to support all of us, but now you're here just for me. And, you're my wife this time, pregnant with my baby, as well. It's strange being back here on my own."

"You've achieved so much in these past six years, and so much hard work has gone into that. Everyone here tonight came for you, you've earned the support of every single one of them. Out in the crowd tonight, the atmosphere was crazy, and I know I'm a little biased but I don't think I've ever been part of such a united group of people. I thought I was proud of you, but I'm no match for your mum, I don't think I've seen her cry so much until tonight," you told him, glad to see the grin had returned to his face, "And I couldn't think of a better way to spend our anniversary than watching you have the time of your life on the stage of probably the most famous arenas."

"I've been a bit of a shitty husband, haven't I? So consumed with nerves and adrenaline that I've barely even paid any attention to you," he frowned, an exaggerated pout on his lips as he pulled you onto his lap, adjusting your knees so they rested either side of his body, "Just been a bit of an idiot and come and sulked out here, when we should be out celebrating."

"Don't be silly, I don't need anything fancy. I'm happy just going out for burgers and milkshakes, and then having a nice long bath when we get back to the hotel."  

"Now, that, I can do. Might have to stop in a shop somewhere and get some bubble bath and stuff. Feel like we should definitely be doing something more special for our five-year anniversary, though, or our first wedding anniversary, whichever way you want to see it."

"We can always go out tomorrow, or even the day after. Properly celebrate you performing here for two nights, as well as our anniversary. Then I'll have your full attention; can't be having you drifting off into your own thoughts every ten minutes," you teased, twirling the small curls at the nape of his neck in your fingers.

"I missed you tonight, y'know? I very much enjoyed our early afternoon cuddles, feel like I haven't seen you since, though," he grumbled, arms firmly wrapping around your back as he pulled you closer to him. He left minimum space in between the two of you, your chest, covered with a t-shirt presenting an enlarged picture of his face on it, pressed tightly to his.  

"I'm not the one who disappeared for nearly an hour," you pointed out, peppering kisses along the expanse of his neck as you rested your cheek on his shoulder. You ignored the slight aftertaste of salt that came with it, evidence of the sweat that once beaded on his skin. "You took away my opportunity to appreciate these bell-bottoms of yours. Never thought I could find someone wearing such things so hot, but you always manage to surprise me."

A small smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth at your declaration; your fingers pulled at the bow hanging on his chest, diverting your gaze from his. He nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck, using his nose to nudge your face upwards as he nibbled playfully at your jaw. You turned to face him again, your scrunched nose acting as a silent reprimand of leaving marks in obvious places. Lifting your hand to push him away, you were met with his tongue licking a long stripe up the palm of your hand, your instincts kicking in and causing you to jerk your hand away, wiping the sticky residue on the shoulder of his shirt.  

"Sorry, baby," he laughed, lips pressing to yours in a half-arsed attempt to stop you narrowing your eyes at him, ending in teeth bashing together due to his inability to stop laughing. He pulled at your jutted-out bottom lip with his thumb, simultaneously giving you the biggest grin possible, "Stop frowning at me. Can't have anyone be seeing that and thinking I make you angry on our anniversary."

"Stop licking me then," you protested, but let him wrap his arms back around you, "And I'm surprised you haven't given me a nosebleed with how hard you knocked into me, give me some warning next time, yeah?"

"What would be the fun in that?" He teased, thumbs sliding into the waistband of your jeans, "I'm really glad you're here with me; I get lonely when you're not. I had a whole speech planned out when I got home from the last leg, full of hundreds of reasons why you should join me on this one, must have rehearsed it in my head at least fifty times on the plane home. I think Jeffrey was beginning to get annoyed with me, kept going on about how I'd forced him to get on a plane he hadn't wanted to and then wouldn't speak to him. You have no idea how glad I was when you said you were coming with me – I don't know if I could've built up the courage to ask you to drop everything for me again, especially after the argument that followed the last time we had a conversation along those lines."

You stretched your arm out over his shoulder, leaning your head on the inside of your bicep and straightening your legs as you began to feel a gentle ache spreading in your limbs but not wanting to interrupt what he was saying. You were pretty content to just sit there and listen to the low tone of his voice, appreciative of the up-close angle you received. From where you were, you could clearly see the slight stubble present just above his cupid's bow, and the strands of hair which refused to co-operate with the rest. It amazed you how, even from this close, it was near impossible to pin-point any kind of flaw or imperfection. 

His line of view met yours in an intense adoration, almost as if his gaze was burning into your own, implanting the thoughts and feelings currently circulating in his head into your mind. His eyes never left yours, yet he was oblivious to your not-so-subtle scope of his face.

"I think some of my favourite memories of us come from being in a foreign country. Exploring new places we've never seen before, getting lost more often than not; sitting in small restaurants on beachfronts and tasting local cuisine, always being sure to finish every last bite even if it's not to our personal taste; travelling from country to country with nothing but each other and a book or two to entertain ourselves. I couldn't think of anyone better to travel the world with than my best friend, wife, mother of my child, the face in the crowd I look for to keep me firmly placed on the ground, and that's just the beginning of a long list of titles you hold. I'm so excited for us to feel our way through the next chapter of our lives together, but I'm glad we've had this time with each other, along with the next month or so to come, away from our more structured life, to properly soak up the time we have left of just being us. Harry and Y/N. Husband and Wife. If I could, I'd get married to you all over again, without hesitation, 'cause our wedding day was by far the best day of my life to date. Not even performing in stadiums like these could even come close to taking that spot. Happy anniversary, I love you, with all my heart, and don't you ever forget that."

Tears welled in your eyes as you listened to the words he spoke, ones which held so much love and emotion that it was as if they sent out waves of infatuation and intimacy. Moisture gathered on your cheeks, which Harry was quick to brush away with the soft swipe of his thumb. The lump in your throat was too immense, and the tightening of your chest was too great, for you to muster up the courage to utter a response, lacking trust towards how coherent of a reply your mouth would produce, instead settling for attaching your lips to his in a desperate, breath-taking reciprocation of affection. You pulled back, foreheads connecting as you both attempted to regain composure over your breathing.  

"You're too good with words, H. Makes my heart hurt."

[nera-solani]

Truther Tagging Game

Thanks @slytherinintj13 for tagging me; these are always great fun!

RULES – Bold the statements that are true & tag 15 people (I don’t even know so many people lol)

APPEARANCE

I am over 5′5″ / I wear glasses/contacts / I have blond hair / I wear sweatshirts a lot / I prefer loose clothing to tight clothing (no preference) / I have one or more piercings (because earrings count) / I have at least one tattoo (I plan to get my first one, though!) / I have blue eyes (I don’t even know what the fuck my eye color is, it’s just a weird mix) / I have dyed or highlighted my hair / I have gotten plastic surgery / I have or had braces / I sunburn easily / I have freckles / I paint my nails (sometimes) / I typically wear makeup / I don’t often smile (define often) / I am pleased with how I look (most of the time) / I prefer Nike to Adidas (I don’t have a preference) / I wear baseball hats backwards

HOBBIES AND TALENTS

I play a sport / I can play an instrument (I used to) / I am artistic / I know more than one language / I have won a trophy in some sort of competition (no trophies in the competitions I won) / I can cook or bake without a recipe (baking without a recipe is super hardcore and almost impossible) / I know how to swim / I enjoy writing / I can do origami (only like two figures) / I prefer movies to TV shows / I can execute a perfect somersault / I enjoy singing / I could survive in the wild on my own / I have read a new book series this year / I enjoy spending time with friends (as long as I get some alone time in between I’m fine) / I travel during school or work breaks (as much as I can with the little money I have as a student) / I can do a handstand (only for two seconds or so)

EXPERIENCES

I have had my first kiss (no tongue though) / I have gotten drunk (only tipsy) / I have told a crush I like them (no crushes here) / I have traveled outside of the country / I have flown on an airplane / I have stayed awake for more than 48 hours / I have had a near-death experience / I have caught something on fire (I actually don’t remember if I did) / I have performed in a talent show / I have shot a gun / I have been on TV / I have gone scuba diving (I’d like to one day) / I have broken a bone / I have slow-danced / I have gone on a shopping spree (I’m just gonna say merch shopping counts)

RELATIONSHIPS

I am in a relationship / I have been single for over a year / I have a crush / I have a best friend / I have known a friend for over ten years / I have a brother / I have dated my best friend / I am adopted / My crush has confessed to me / I have had a long-distance relationship (am having one right now with my best friend, technically) / I am an only child / I give advice to my friends / I have made an online friend / I met up with someone I met online (while I was on holiday in the US last year)

AESTHETICS

I have heard the ocean in a conch shell / I have watched the sun rise / I enjoy rainy days / I have slept under the stars / I meditate outside / The sound of chirping calms me / I enjoy the smell of the beach / I know what snow tastes like / I listen to music to fall asleep / I enjoy thunderstorms / I enjoy cloud watching / I have attended a bonfire / I pay close attention to colors / I find mystery in the ocean / I enjoy hiking on nature paths (if it’s not too tiring) / Autumn is my favorite season (it shares that place with spring but mostly because of the mild weather...)

MISCELLANEOUS

I can fall asleep in a moving vehicle (only rarely) / I am the mom friend (sometimes) / I live by a certain quote / I like the smell of Sharpies / I am involved in extracurricular activities / I enjoy Mexican food / I can drive stick-shift (I learned driving that way for my license) / I have memorized an entire song in a day / I believe in true love / I dream up scenarios to fall asleep / I sing in the shower (sometimes, when I have a song stuck in my head) / I wish I lived in a video game / I have a canopy above my bed / I am multi-racial (not that I know of) / I am a redhead / I own at least three dogs / I am LGBT

tagging: @h4nnibalism @ialwayscomewhenyoucall @iamnotweirdenoughtobehere @jdragon122 @maggiemaybe160

[lizzzybooo]

Beetles Bath And Beyond

Summary: Phil just wanted a relaxing bath. Just wanted to soak in the warm water for an hour, listen to some music and read some Buffy comics. What he didn’t want, however, was to have his bath with a million beetles surrounding him from all sides, turning his relaxing time into an actual nightmare.

Lucky for him, he had a boyfriend who just knew how to make everything better.

Words: 4539

warnings: smut, rimming, anal sex  

read on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12745041#main

this fic is dedicated to my friend @p-hantasticpheels who’s been having some real life things she needed to deal with. so eve, i hope you like it! <333 (also, go send her some love! she is the best person ever and deserves the whole world!<3333)

“Dan!”

Dan was sitting on the couch with his laptop when he heard a shriek of his name coming from the downstairs bathroom.

He was enjoying some relaxing time by himself, scrolling on tumblr and twitter and letting his brain have a night off from all the thinking and stressing and working he had been doing the last few weeks.

Phil had walked into the lounge half an hour ago, announcing he was going to make himself a relaxing bath, asking Dan not to disturb him.

“Are you not inviting me to join you?” Dan asked with a pout, mostly joking. He knew Phil was at his limit in the last few days. He was constantly worrying and overthinking his and Dan’s decisions and feeling bad for missing on his family vacation and just generally feeling stressed.

They had a lot on their minds. With the approaching tour and new merch and regular video schedule they felt like they might have taken on a bit more than they can chew.

So knowing Phil as well as he did, Dan had no doubt that what he needed right now was some relaxing time by himself, not worrying about anyone or anything other than his own enjoyment.

“Nope. You are not allowed in there, so don’t even try.” Phil said determinedly, crossing his arms on his chest.

Dan feigned offense, just to humor Phil a little. “Oh, I see how it is.”

He turned away from Phil, a bit dramatically just for the effect. “Fine, go have your fantastic bath by yourself, see if I care.” he turned his attention back to his laptop, but couldn’t hold in his smile when he heard Phil’s small giggle, and felt him approaching the couch just to drop a kiss to Dan’s head before heading off to the bathroom.

Dan was glad to finally have some time to relax and unwind. Time to turn off his brain a little and let himself think about nothing and anything.

But even more so, he was glad that Phil was taking the time to do the same.

Because sometime Phil was really bad at taking some time off. He was just a worrier, always had been. Needed to do everything by himself, be involved in every step of every process even when it was someone else’s responsibility. To get him to relax and take a break when things were cerotic like they were now was near impossible sometimes.

He did get better at this over the years, Dan had to admit. They both came a long way in terms of self-care. Both made changes to benefit their mental health and nerves and productivity and their relationship with each other, professional and personal.

But still, usually he needed a gentle push from Dan in the right direction, needed someone to remind him to take a break and breathe deeply and maybe let someone else take charge for a change.

The fact that Phil came to the conclusion that he needed some time off from all that’s been going on all by himself meant that he was probably even more stressed than Dan had originally thought.

That’s why it came as such a surprise when Phil started calling Dan’s name from the downstairs bathroom with a voice that was as far from relaxed as it gets.

The loud shriek made Dan almost drop his laptop from his lap, quickly catching it before a real disaster happened.

“What’s wrong?” he called back, already getting up and heading towards Phil’s distressed voice.

He went down the stairs quickly, a little concerned with the lack of response from Phil. When he got there, he couldn’t help but stare at the peculiar sight in front of him, blinking at it in confusion.

Phil stood with his back to him, appearing to be completely naked, peering inside the bathroom from the door frame, still dripping wet.

“Phil?” Dan asked carefully.

Phil jumped from the noise, turning around to look at Dan with round, horrified eyes. That was when Dan noticed that Phil was holding a very small hand towel, trying to cover his crotch, not really succeeding even at that.

He had to contain his laughter. Whatever it was, Phil seemed pretty shaken up by it and probably wouldn’t appreciate Dan laughing at him.

“Beetles.” Phil said suddenly, sounding mortified.

“Excuse me?”

“Beetles. Beetles everywhere.” He said again, and Dan started to connect the dots.

“Are there beetles in the bathroom?” he asked, a little amused.

“Yes! A million beetles all over the bathroom!” Phil squeaked.

Dan went past him to look in the bathroom, leaving Phil to stand by the doorframe.

Like Phil said, there were small, black bugs all over the walls and tiles. Even though not as many as Phil’s reaction would suggest.

He got out of the room and closed the door behind him, looking at Phil and by this point allowing himself to laugh a little.

“Man, this is just your luck.” He said, patting Phil’s shoulder sympathetically.

To his surprise, Phil didn’t laugh with him, didn’t even smile a little. He was usually the first one to make a joke about those incidents, the first one to call himself a living flop and move on. But this time he looked genuinely upset by the situation.

He dropped his towel on the floor, leaving himself completely naked and covered his face with his hands, groaning loudly.

Dan thought he might actually start crying.

“Hey, Phil, it’s okay. Loosen up!” Dan tried, rubbing Phil’s shoulder some more.

Phil’s head shot up then, glaring at Dan with pink eyes.

“I can’t loosen up! That’s what the bath was for. And now I’m stressed, traumatized and can’t ever take another bath in my life!” he dropped his head to his hands again, shaking it from side to side.

“I’m so tired but I can’t really sleep because my mind is going a thousand miles an hour and I just wanted to soak in a warm bath for an hour and listen to some music and read Buffy comics and then go to sleep. Why is this too much to ask for?”

His voice was small and whiny and Dan felt a little guilty for letting this go on for so long without noticing how much it was effecting Phil.

“Aw Philly come here,” he said, pulling on Phil’s hands to make him show his face and then pulled him closer to his chest for a hug.

It was a little strange hugging a wet, naked, Phil when he was completely clothed and dry, but he didn’t think too much about it.

Phil melted a little against him, not fighting Dan’s hold on him at all. Dan let his hands rub Phil’s damp back with wide, circular motions, trying to calm him down.

Phil slumped just a little to fit his head under Dan’s chin, fisting the front of his shirt and groaning a little again in frustration.

“What can I do to make you feel better baby?” Dan asked.

They didn’t use terms of endearment often, both found it a little awkward and forced at times. But sometimes, in the right mood, it just came natural. Especially since Dan knew that secretly, Phil was very cheesy. Loved sappy words and nicknames when the situation called for it.

And Dan was definitely weak for sad blue eyes and pouty pink lips, willing to do anything to make his boyfriend feel better.

“What will make you relax?” he continued, moving one hand to Phil’s hair, scratching his scalp, feeling Phil move a little towards the touch.

“I don’t know,” Phil grumbled, letting go of Dan’s shirt and wrapping his arms lazily around his waist, leaning all his weight on him.

“Do you want me to make you something tasty to eat?” he asked.

Phil shook his head. “Not hungry.”

“Not hungry? Must be a real crisis then,” he teased gently, pinching Phil’s side a little just to emphasize he was joking.

“Shut up,” Phil said, but to Dan’s relief he could hear a smile creeping up to the corner of Phil’s lips.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” he tried something else, only to feel Phil’s head move from side to side again against his neck.

“Do you want to go to bed and try reading a book?”

“Can’t concentrate, too many thoughts.” Phil said and Dan tightened his hold on his body, kissing the side of his head.

He could feel the curves of Phil’s body against him, could feel the smooth skin of his back beneath his fingertips, could feel Phil’s soft cock pressing against his thigh.

“How about...Me helping you feel good? Taking your mind off of everything?” he said, bending a little to kiss Phil’s exposed shoulder. Phil shivered a little under his lips, but didn’t answer.

“Mm? Would you like that? I’ll do whatever you want.” He continued, his lips still pressed to Phil’s shoulder.

Phil kept quiet for a while, and Dan was about to suggest something else when Phil finally spoke in a small, timid voice.

“Only if you want to,” he said.

And it was so much like Phil to worry about something like this in that moment. To worry that Dan was only doing this because Phil was upset and not because he wanted to.

“I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t want to, now, would I?” He said, but got no response from Phil.

Dan drew back from him a little, cupping Phil’s face with his hands and leaning in to leave a lingering kiss against Phil’s lips.

“I wouldn’t,” he said, smiling at him reassuringly and moving his thumb to press against Phil’s bottom lip, making him smile as well.

“Okay.”

Phil pressed close to him again and hid his face in Dan’s neck, making Dan almost coo.

Dan let him hide for a moment, let him cling and nuzzle Dan’s neck before pulling back from him.

“How about you go to the bedroom and lie down for a few minutes? I’ll be right there.” He instructed, kissed Phil’s temple before pushing him gently away from him and towards the stairs.

Phil went willingly, smiling at him one last time before making his way up the stairs, still completely naked.

When Phil was out of sight, Dan opened the bathroom door and stepped inside.

He hated bags, usually more that Phil (even though he could understand how distressing it must have been for Phil to see them everywhere during his relaxing bath).

But still, he ignored the uneasy feeling he had and made his way to the tub, pulling out the plug and emptying it, making sure Phil didn’t forget to close the tap in his rush to get out. The last thing they needed right now was a leak or a flood.

He got out and closed the door (as if it would stop the bugs from getting out from the room to the rest of the house) and made a mental note to take care of it later. He could spray them, or call the exterminator tomorrow.

Right now he had more important matters to attend to.

He made his way up the stairs and to the bedroom, finding Phil lying on the bed, like he told him to do.

He was lying on his front, his exposed pale body on display for Dan to admire. His arms were tacked under his face and his long legs and back were spread out on the grey covers in a way that made Dan feel his chest tightening and his cock twitching.

Phil barely acknowledged Dan’s presences in the room, only wiggling his toes a little at him.

Dan walked over to him, sitting on the edge of the bed and reaching out to massage Phil’s back a little, earning a content sigh.

He bent down, kissing between Phil’s shoulder blades and letting his head rest there for a moment, cheek pressing to Phil’s damp skin.

“What do you want me to do?” He asked, still rubbing Phil’s tense muscles as best as he could from this position.

“What will make you feel the best right now? Help you relax?”

He knew Phil didn’t like asking for things in the bedroom. Got flustered and embarrassed way too easily. Which in Dan’s opinion was silly, because Dan was probably willing to do anything Phil would ask him (to an extent of course).

Phil moved a little under him, and Dan leaned back to let him turn around to his back and face Dan, head turning to the side, blinking at him with tired, blue eyes. Dan settled comfortably by his side, lifting his feet up from the floor to the bed, knees touching Phil’s.

Phil’s cheeks were pink and his lips a little parted and his eyes glossy and tired. He reached out and traced Dan’s cheeks and nose and eyebrows, still not saying a word.

“Do you have anything in mind?” Dan asked again, letting his fingers wonder to Phil’s soft belly and draw patterns on it. Phil only shrugged in response.

Dan pushed himself a little up then, moving to hover over Phil’s body, one leg going in between Phil’s.

He leaned down and kissed Phil on the lips, slow and deep, just like Phil liked it the most. Lazy, lingering movements with just little bit of tongue.

Phil was pliant under him, soft and willing, letting Dan take the lead with this one.

Dan broke the kiss and moved his lips down from Phil’s cheek to his jaw.

“Do you want me to blow you?” he asked, his lips brushing Phil’s skin.

Phil shrugged again, and Dan could feel his skin heating up under him. Phil wrapped his arms loosely around Dan’s back, moving them up and down a little, and Dan took it as encouragement to keep asking.

“Do you want me to ride you?” he tried something else, trailing his lips down to Phil’s neck, feeling him craning it to give Dan more room to work, but shrugged again.

Dan sucked a little on Phil’s warm neck, careful not to leave a mark. No matter how pliant and willing Phil was at the moment, he would certainly give Dan hell about it tomorrow when he’s out of this mood if Dan would leave a mark.

“Do you want me to rim you?” He asked, and could feel Phil’s body shiver a little, arms tightening their hold on Dan’s back. No shrug.

Dan chuckled a little, kissing down to Phil’s collarbone before lifting his head up to look at Phil’s pink face.

“Ding ding ding, he have a winner,” he said jokingly, delighted by the way Phil’s face managed to get even pinker.

It wasn’t something they did often, at least not that way. Phil got really anxious and nerves sometimes, and when he got like that he couldn’t even properly enjoy himself.

But other times…well, Dan knew for a fact that Phil really, really loved the feeling of his tongue inside of him.

And now, Phil looked a little shy, a little sheepish, but so so turned on.

He looked absolutely delicious under Dan’s body. His hair was still damp and he was flushed down to his chest and his pupils were so dilated and Dan just wanted to eat him up.

Lucky for him, that was just what he was about to do.

He leaned down again to take Phil’s bottom lip in between his own, sucking on it and earning a quiet moan from Phil.

He started moving his hips then, slowly rocking them against Phil’s, pushing his thigh more firmly between Phil’s legs and feeling Phil gasp into his mouth.

“Gonna make you feel so good,” he said lowly, right against Phil’s lips, and Phil whined a little, lifting up his hips from the bed and starting to push himself against Dan’s thigh in the search of more friction.

Dan let him keep doing it for a few minutes, wanting Phil to be as gone as he could so he wouldn’t overthink anything. But when he could feel Phil’s movement starting to get faster, could feel his own cock painfully hard in his tight jeans, he pulled back a little, ignoring Phil’s protest.

“Turn around,” he instructed, getting off of Phil’s body completely to let him do what he asked and to get his own jeans and shirt off, automatically letting his hand press against his hard cock for some relief.

Phil wasted no time following Dan’s request, settling on his front again.

Dan got back to the bed, sitting on his knees behind Phil, reaching Down to trace a line from Phil’s neck down his back and stopping at his bum, squeezing it for good measure.

“Bend your knees for me?” he asked, helping Phil push up his butt and bend his knees under his body, leaving Dan with the lovely sight of Phil’s hole.

Dan could feel that Phil was a little tense in the new position, could see his back and leg muscles straining. He knew Phil didn’t really like to feel so much on display, especially when he couldn’t see Dan’s face. But Dan was definitely going to make this worth his while.

“You look so pretty like this,” Dan praised, leaning down to kiss one of Phil’s butt cheeks, and then biting it with no warning, earning a yelp from Phil.

“Relax baby,” he whispered, rubbing Phil’s sides for comfort when Phil’s body remained tense.

“I just want to make you feel as best as I can, yeah? We can do something else if you want, everything you want.”

Phil took a deep breath, releasing it slowly.

“No, I’m fine, sorry. I want this, if it’s okay.” His voice was soft and warm and a little shy and Dan felt his chest so full of love he was afraid it might actually explode from the feeling.

“Of course it’s okay, whatever you want.” He said again, kissing Phil’s butt cheek one more time before reaching for their nightstand, opening it and taking out a bottle of flavored lube they had bought for occasions like this.

He lubed up his fingers, rubbing them to heat them up a little, before pressing them to Phil’s hole, circling it a few times to let Phil get ready for his actions before pushing one finger in slowly.

Phil’s body was used to this part, didn’t even resist to the intrusion of one finger.

“You good?” Dan asked, just in case, moving his finger in and out of Phil’s hole slowly. Phil pushed back on his finger a little to make it go deeper, humming in response.

Dan took it as a cue to push in a second finger, slowly and not too deep at first. At this point Dan could feel some resistance, stopping his movements to let Phil get used to the feeling.

Phil took a deep breath, wiggling his bum a little. “it’s okay, keep going,” he said, relaxing around Dan’s fingers.

Dan resumed his movements, pushing his fingers deeper now and with purpose. He curved his fingers, in search of Phil’s sweet spot, knowing immediately when he found it.

Phil’s whole body spasmed and he let out his first real loud moan of the night.

“There you go,” Dan said softly, a little cockily, pleased with himself.

He kept it up for a while, wanting Phil to get desperate. Pushing his fingers in an increasing pace right into the spot that drove Phil wild.

Phil was whining and moaning and pushing back on Dan’s fingers. But when Dan bent down, this time letting his tongue circle around his fingers and Phil’s rim, Phil’s whole body shuddered, and he let out a noise that even took Dan by surprise, making him retrieve his tongue and stop the movement of his fingers.

“No no no don’t stop,” Phil was chanting, whining, pushing against his fingers to get Dan to keep going.

And Dan was so incredibly turned on, he felt like he could have climaxed only from the noises Phil was making, from the sight of him so desperate and pleading for Dan.

He wanted to say something. Tease or praise, anything really, but he couldn’t find his voice. So instead, he took pity on Phil, starting to move his fingers again and leaning down to lick against Phil’s hole.

He scissored his fingers, trying to loosen Phil’s hole as much as he could before pushing his tongue inside beside them, licking against Phil’s walls.

Phil all but screamed at the feeling. His hand found its way to his cock and he was moving it desperately while pushing against Dan’s face with force.

Dan tried to keep up. Tried to push his tongue as deep and he could while pushing his fingers right against Phil’s prostate, letting them massage it for a few seconds a time instead of pushing them in and out, knowing that the feeling was really intense, but one that Phil absolutely loved.

He let his tongue alternate between licking persistently inside of Phil and pushing it in and out of his hole.

Phil was getting really close now, Dan could tell. His breathing was erratic and his hand on his cock was losing its rhythm and all his mouth could form was pleads and cries of Dan’s name.

So with one last effort, Dan grabbed Phil’s hip with his unoccupied hand and pushed himself as deep as he could inside of Phil, working his tongue and fingers as fast and as purposeful as he could.

Phil came with a shout, releasing all over his hand and the sheets under him.

Dan worked him through it, slowing down his actions gradually until Phil was done, slowly pulling out of him, and letting Phil collapse on his front.

Phil was breathing heavily, and Dan was so desperate for his own release he let his hand go straight to his own cock, pushing it inside his pants and feeling an overwhelming feeling if relief.

He let out a loud moan, moving his hand up and down himself, feeling already close to the edge.

Phil perked up at the noise, craning his neck to look behind him, looking at Dan with sleepy eyes and making a small noise of disapproval.

He got up then, suddenly, pushing Dan’s hand away from his pants.

He pushed Dan back, turning his body and trying to make him lie down against the headboard, pushing his pants off his body completely. Dan went willingly, thinking that Phil probably wanted to give him a hand job himself, or maybe even a blow job if he was lucky. But was really surprise when Phil straddled his thighs instead, moving up a bit so that he hovered over Dan’s hard, red cock, reaching behind himself and holding it against his entrance.

“What are you-“ Dan’s sentence was cut off when Phil pushed down on him without warning, both of them moaning at the feeling.

Dan’s hands shot automatically to Phil’s hips, steadying him on top of himself. Phil’s hands were on Dan’s shoulder, and he used that leverage to start pushing himself up and down Dan’s cock, setting a fast pace right from the start.

Dan was in heaven. Phil’s hole was swallowing him, taking him so well and all he could do was lie down and enjoy it. He knew Phil must be really overstimulated. Knew how sensitive he got after an orgasm, but something about Phil pushing his own boundaries, even a little, to make Dan feel good, was incredibly hot in his eyes.

He was so close. Was close already from the second his tongue touched Phil’s hole. But when Phil leaned down, resting his body on top of his and kissing his shoulder and neck and cheek, whispering “let go,” in his ear, Dan couldn’t stop himself anymore, coming buried inside of Phil.

Phil was chanting in his ear, but he couldn’t really hear it. His blood was pumping in his head and his heart was racing and he felt like his orgasm was spreading through his entire body.

When he finally felt like he could focus again, at least a little, he could hear Phil’s voice saying “I love you I love you I love you,” again and again and again in his ear, kissing his cheek and jaw and neck.

He wrapped his own arms around Phil as tight as he could, holding his to his chest and kissing his shoulder and head and every part of his body he could reach.

“I love you so much, that was amazing.” He finally said when he found his voice again.

“Have to live up to the branding,” Phil answered cheekily. And it was little bit silly, but such a Phil thing to say and Dan just wanted to hold him closer, to hug him tighter, even though it wasn’t really possible.

Phil pulled back then, lifting himself up from Dan’s softening cock, whimpering a little before flopping down again beside Dan.

“Are you okay?” Dan asked, turning to his side to face Phil, tracing his face with his fingers.

Phil took a hold of Dan’s hand against his face, bringing it to his lips and kissing every finger before nuzzling his cheek against it and smiling at Dan with sleepy eyes.

“Are you kidding? Just had the best orgasm ever. You’re like, the best person in the world.” He said, inching closer to Dan and burying his face in his neck.

“You deserve a medal or something,” he added, hugging Dan by the middle and kissing his neck a few times.

Dan chuckled.

“Is that so?” he asked, wrapping his arms around Phil and pulling him closer, kissing his forehead, sweet and lingering.

“Mnm.” Phil hummed in response.

They were silent for a few moments, letting themselves soak in the closeness and content.

“I need a shower, I have cum leaking out of my ass.” Phil said suddenly, and Dan chuckled in response.

Phil was only this relaxed, this unfiltered, after a really great orgasm. And Dan couldn’t help but feel a little proud of himself.

“But I’m too comfortable,” Phil added, a slight whine to his voice. “Don’t want to move.” He rubbed his head against Dan’s neck and chest, tightening his hold on Dan’s body.

“Well,” Dan said, staring to draw patterns on Phil’s back. “You can always go take a bath.”

And Dan couldn’t even be mad at himself when Phil pushed harshly on his chest, telling him to piss off and turning to face the other side. He couldn’t, because it was funny and it wouldn’t be them if they didn’t laugh at each other’s misfortunes, lightheartedly of course.

And besides, he was pretty sure Phil found it funny as well. At the very least he wasn’t too upset, because when Dan moved closer to him, spooning him from behind and laughing into the back of his neck, he didn’t push him away. He just called Dan a jerk and shuffled to be closer to him, mumbling under his breath about filling Dan’s pants with a million beetles in the morning.

Notes:

ha...ha...ha... yeah... i wrote smut again whoops :3

hope you liked it! comments = life

you can still send me prompts if you want :)

[nenesleepyhead]

Original/blank post here

Answers to

be nosy

1. What’s your sexual orientation?

I’m demisexual and heteroromantic :3

2. What are you obsessed with right now?

Horror, I always liked it and I always will 🤔😏

3. Ever done any drugs?

Nope, not at all u.u

4. What piercings do you want?

I love the idea of an industrial but I doubt I will ever do it

5. How many people have you kissed?

Romantically only one, but cheek kisses are something I give to my family members sometimes or to my friends even tho with them it’s more of a hugging thing or some scratches/pat on the head u.u

6. Describe your dream home.

I already live in mine, a nice neighbourhood, near the forest and mountain with chill neighbours

7. Who are you jealous of?

No one there’s no reason to be jealous of others

8. What’s your favorite show to binge?

I’ll say any horror saga I like and the Grimm tv series

9. Do you watch porn?

Nope never only the thoughts makes me feel awkward

10. Do you have a secret sideblog?

Nope I barely manage to keep this one 😂

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

Japan, there so many things there I want to see

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

Can make a living as an illustrator

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

No thanks not a thing for me but good for anyone who had done it

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

Half of it end up on my bank account and the rest are going to be used to buy mangas, things I like, end to pay my house and travel a bit 🤔

15. Are you in a relationship?

Nope, single with the company of my cat and my ghost roommates

16. Do you follow porn blogs?

Nah it’s not something I’m too interested in, I mean porn, never watched one

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

Nope

18. What tattoos do you want?

Well I actually don’t want any tattoos, I think that they wouldn’t suit me. But I love see tattoos on others, I especially love “paint” like ones or black & white, I also have a huge soft spot with traditional/ethnic/tribal ones. If a tattoos has a meaning I find it spectacular so if someone with tattoos ever going to meet me expect to be asked about your tattoos stories I love to hear those 👀 

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

I don’t think I would 🤔 there is a name I like but I don’t think it would fit me per se so I’ll stick to my name or my childhood nickname at most u.u

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

Horror whatever, anything that concern horror is a must for me

21. Describe your best friend.

I got two, one is basically a huge (literally) teddy bear with curly hair and a curly beard the other a bit taller than me, long straight hair

22. Tag someone you think is hot.

—————

23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists?

Slipknot, ice nine kills, motionless in white, wild fire and lastly inflames

24. What are three places you want to travel?

Scotland, Japan and Ireland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇯🇵🇮🇪

25. Describe your perfect Friday night.

Home alone with a horror movie and some snacks or a pizza and some sweet tea

26. What’s your favorite season?

Tie between Spring and Autumn, one because it’s full of flowers and not too hot and the other for the colourful leaves and Halloween vibes :3 🎃🌸

27. What’s your pet peeve?

I’ll say people who got no table manners

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

My friends in general, even during dull days they always manage to makes me laugh :3 💙

29. What’s the most overrated movie?

Mission impossible I’ll say, but that’s just a personal preference

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.

—————

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?

Paper books for sure nothing compare to them

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

Middle-earth for sure maybe in the shire, since basically old time-y Switzerland was very similar to it 😂 so it would feel like home

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?

Full of gothic and merch clothes and dresses :3

34. What’s your coffee order?

Nonexistent 😂 I don’t like coffee at all

35. Do you have a crush on anyone?

Nope and for now I’m good that way :3

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?

Nope, the only serious relationship I had was with a douchebag so I don’t miss him at all

37. Have any tattoos?

Like I said I don’t have any and I don’t think they suit me but I enjoy others tattoos 😏 spam me some awesome tattoos ideas tho maybe some oc will end up with some of those 😏👀✨

38. Do you drink?

Nope I don’t even like the smell

39. Are you a virgin?

Yup

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

Nope

41. How many followers do you have?

44

42. Describe the hottest person you know.

He got curly dark hair and green eyes and like 170-ish cm tall

43. What’s your guilty pleasure?

Indulge me in self insert drawing I make with my favourites characters... nothing nsfw just some fluff things tho u.u

44. Do you read erotica?

Eh some fanfiction about characters I like but nothing else

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

Not really a date but my bf at that time showed up at my house uninvited and wouldn’t let me work on a big school assignment due in two days and after insulting me he left, like it was me who invited him over >.> needless to say I dumped his dumb ass right after

46. How many people do you follow?

294 but actively only with 15 or so

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

I don’t really care too much but... maybe Ken Kirzinger since he got basically all the features I like plus he played Jason Voorhees 🤔

48. Describe your ideal partner.

Tall with broad shoulders and big hands u.u all the rest it’s optional (perfect if with dark or red hair + green eyes or heterochromia)

49. Who do you text the most?

My friends u.u simply as that

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

Rainy days or a not too hot sunny day during spring/autumn

[revertrapes]

Last week my manager asked me whether I could fill him to some meetings that he can't attend in the main office for this monday.

"Sure, why not"

It's not like it's the first time, and also the main office is located in central. Sometimes it's good to move out from your boring office and get some quick escape even tho it's just some meetings.

So here I am, just finishing the last meeting barely past 7 pm. Usually the meeting would take much longer and I had to stay and keep company my boss.

But since is still early afternoon, my boss asked me to visit a storehouse to catch up and check some lists.

"Don't worry, there will be Mr. Simon who will meet you there. There won't be much things to do, just deliver some documents and etc."

"Alright.

.

I thought it was near the main office. Taking the taxi itself took 50 minutes even though the street is crowded as late night rain in mountain.

Finishing the tasks also took more time that I calculated. It's already past midnight, and it's impossible to find transportation back to home.

"Just take a rest here, there's a nearby hotel. Not fancy, but still a hotel"

"Sure"

So Mr. Simon take me to the hotel he mentioned. He booked me a room, and say goodbye after gave me the key.

.

It's a really simple old hotel. Not fancy, barely functioning. Even there isn't any lift, so I had to use steel trailed stairs to the 3rd floor. There isn't much decorations on hall, just a single wilted flower on the corner. The smells isn't bad, but also doesn't feel good. It feels like there's a hidden pile of leaves hidden somewhere.

But at least I can rest and go back quickly in the morning. What you could expect from quick cheap old hotel?

When I enter the room, the interior also doesn't stand out too much. A queen bed, a television hanged on the wall, a working desk and plastic chair, a wardrobe and small rack to place your shoe, I think?

The only decorations in this room are a painting hanged beside tv and some tablecloth.

I throw my bag on the bed and changed my clothes. Good grieves I always bring some extra clothes in my bag. I quickly wash my face, but my luck, the taps suddenly stops.

"Oh come, on!"

Grumpily I take the towel and flung myself to the bed. The bed smells like an old linen. And I wonder how just how old this hotel?

I stare at my ceiling, and realize there's some extra decorations detail in the corner. It looks like a pattern... But the placement is too weird, it doesn't have taste. But it really catches my eyes and it leads to the painting.

I take a closer look to the painting. The classic painting, about a crowded market in the village. There are merch, a beggar, some children, and another busy people. I guess the painter won't take much hassle drawing their faces since they are all on their back.

I go back to my bed and preparing myself to sleep.

"Just take a sleep... quickly fall asleep... And continue tomorrow morning"

.

Or at least that was what I thought.

I can't even sleep. Everytime I close my eyes I can hear a scratch in the walls. Rat, ghost, or even fairy, I don't care, I just can't stand with contrast of the tranquil night and the noise on the walls.

I get out of my bed and take a look to the window. I checked my phone, it's a freaking 3 a.m and I can't sleep. I also notice some notifications and emails, and decide to open my laptop and just do some works.

And that's when the TV suddenly turned on.

"That's surprised me!"

I quickly search for the remote but cannot find it anywhere, so I decided to turn it off by the quick button beside the TV. The last time I got surprised by TV is when I ask the hotel's staff to set up it as a morning alarm since I'm not a morning person.

"Maybe the last setting is still left active"

.

My glance move from TV to the painting again. The painting is made from oil paint, but there's no cover on it. I put my hand on it and swipe it slowly, and I stopped when I feel something texture on it.

The texture is come from a woman face on painting.

"Wait, a face? I thought this painting is consistent about the concept"

I take a closer look, and have conclusion that maybe the woman face is painted later, either by the originals painter or not.

And there's something weird about the face.. Like she looks sad, but actually relieved. The Artist is sure is an amazing one to be able to deliver such emotion in a small spaces.

"Or maybe I'm just over analyzing when the artist just painted it randomly"

I decide to go back to work and hope morning can come faster so I can go back to my own bed.

.

At 6 o'clock I already finished my work and bath, and make up my bed. Being early is easy when you don't sleep at all.

I open the window to get some fresh air and turn on the TV. That's when I realized something on the painting.

Faces.

They all have faces.

Not just a woman, but all the villagers are.

And they have the same expressions.

"Oh shit"

I was debating with myself to keep calm or not, when I realize the woman before is putting some nervous smile.

And she's drawn bigger than before.

I'm sure before she was just a bystander behind the merch, but now she feels like a main object in the painting.

.

That solely send me a cold shiver, and quickly I put my jacket on.

"Let's just have a breakfast outside, let me get out from here first".

I quickly reach my bag and walk outside my room. Walking through hall feels like forever before I reach the stairs.

It was only half way down to second floor when I heard another noise. The handrail, the steel handrail, is making some noise. A noise you made as someone punch the handrail with drumstick as you get down the stairs.

But the noise is getting closer to me.

And faster.

"Oh God"

.

I ran, and ran to the lobby on first floor.

.

Seeing another human never make me feel so relieved before. I ran out of breath, not because the running but more likely from the nervousness.

The hotel staff just look at me without words. When I get my composure back, one of them just calmly said to me

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah... Maybe.. I guess"

.

"I wanna check out right now, please"

"Ok, one second, please have a seat"

I take a look at my surroundings. The lobby is at least better, warmer and has more sense in decorations.

Bugging my mind, I decide to ask the staff

"Excuse me... But I think you have to change the decorations please on the room, especially with painting. It gave you bad vibes to the customer."

"We understand, we humbly thank you for the advice."

"We are planning for some big renovations to the more modern and simple theme, but our late owner still have so many his beloved paintings left in this building"

I give him another confused look.

"Our owner is a painter, his home basically just a museum and he decides to put some of his work here"

"Ah.. I see"

"He is so compassionate with his work. Sadly after his long sick daughter died, he suddenly fell sick and stop all activities"

"But maybe you can change some painting here.. like the one in my room. It feels.. weird, feels like they watch you when you sleep? I know I'm just such a scaredy cat"

I give them my best nervous smile, hope they won't be offended. The staff look at me confused, but then reply me with warm sme

"But, miss... Ah, I think you mistakes something here. Don't worry too much, I think you only a little bit tired."

"...Maybe. I'm sorry."

"No, no, we really appreciate your advice. We hope you have a great rest and experience in our hotel. "

"Okay, I'm gonna book a taxi"

"Here let me help you"

Sigh. Maybe he's right, maybe I'm just overthinking and tired.

.

When the taxi arrived, the staff help me bring my bag and opened the door.

"Thank you"

"My pleasure"

I hold the back the taxi's door when he closed it for me.

"Wait.. Can I ask who is the owner?"

"Sure. The owner is known as RSF. It's his pen name as an artist"

Gulp.

"I know him... He's famous for his landscape painting, right?"

"True."

"Is he... Love to paint people?"

"So far as we know, we've only seen his work in nature genre. Like you only seeing tree, building, and flower?"

"...... Alright. Thank you"

I closed the door and ask the taxi to move.

And make a hard mental note, to not stay in this hotel again

[heddofon-akuta]

Hi!! I saw your pic of all your Takane merch awhile ago and I was wondering where do you get most of it? I've been wanting to make an ita bag for her!! Thanks in advance!

helloooooo!! well, since it’s been kind of a process, i’ll write u up a li’l Tutorial™ on how i’ve gone about getting my takane merch.

well, i’ll just start by saying, it’s not been easy lmao. takane merch is very far and in between as it is, even in japan, so getting it in the united states has been near impossible. it’s taken a lot of luck, time, and even more-so, money. OTL when it comes to ene merch, you’ll have a lot more luck (but she’s still a really popular and iconic character tho, so she can be kinda hard to find sometimes too.)

if you’re looking for just one or two things, try search going on ebay. it’ll be a lot more convenient and easy to use, and cost about the same as alternative methods. i found a lot of my ene charms on ebay for reasonable prices early on. just search “ene” or “takane enomoto” and see what comes up.

there’s also other american sites to buy anime merch on, but they’re not the greatest for kagepro i’ve found, and the alternatives are just better/cheaper. you can try places like amazon, rakuten, tokyo otaku mode, etc.

again, if you have one specific item in mind, i’d also recommend otaku republic (BUT FOR DOUJIN’S SPECIFICALLY!!! DON’T BUT THEIR OTHER MERCH IT’S REDIC OVERPRICED.) it looks like they currently have a couple rarer takane/harutaka/shintaka donjins on there, if you’re interested? i already have them, so i can promise all the ones for sale r worth the prices.

BUT OK. MOVING ONTO THE COMPLICATED STUFF.

for most of my merch, i’ve used proxies and ordered from japanese websites, because that’s the only place i’ve ever (and by rare chance) come across the takane (specific) merch i was looking for. to start, i’d recommend treasurejapan as a proxy service, i’ve used them many times and they’re always efficient and easy to work with (however i also often use a personal consultant otherwise, that i’m able to speak with one on one.) they’ll have a tutorial abt the service on their site. also, when using proxies, it’s always gonna be expensive, b/c u gotta pay them commission, on top of the price of the items ur buying, and also the outrageous overseas shipping cost. just something to keep in mind.

as for the sites i use to find merch, suruga-ya is my go-to place. it’s cheap, used stuff, and they usually have a lot of random finds (and u get free local shipping for orders over 1500yen LMAO.) however, i’ve had most of my luck on mercari—it’s a flea market that also typically runs dirt cheap. i’ve found most of my rare takane/harutaka charms there. but, again, i’ve only seen them go up like once or twice, so……………god speed my friend.

there’s also lots of other sites, like yahoo auctions (it’s basically japanese ebay) and amazon.jp to name a few, but i don’t use them much. also, as for japanese doujin sites, there’s toranoana and pixiv booth!

and as a final note, when searching on japanese sites, you’ll ofc need to type in japanese. u can go on the wiki and easily find any terms you’ll need, but here’s a quick guide to some key searches:

“enomoto takane” is “榎本 貴音”

“ene” is “エネ”

“harutaka” is “遥貴”

“mekakucity actors” is “メカクシティアクターズ” 

“kagerou project” is “カゲロウプロジェクト”

hope that helps!! let me kno if u have any more questions.

[ncmagroup]

By Drew Hendricks

It’s only awkward if you make it awkward. Effective networking at conferences can be both helpful for your business and even a little fun. Especially these days when we are wired to the hilt for digital interactions, it’s easy to lose sight of the nuances of in-person meetings.

If you feel self-conscious meeting with people, remember to emphasize the person you are connecting with rather than yourself; make an honest effort to learn about them in an authentic, meaningful way. With some strong preparation, the right set of supports, and an eye for follow-up, making face-to-face connections can be an effective way to grow your business.

Here are a few handy tips to help you network for success at conferences:

Make a list, check it twice

As the saying goes, “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” Before you head into the thick of it, make sure you’ve looked at the list of attendees and developed a networking shortlist of those you want to connect with. Your shortlist should support your clearly stated business goals for attending the conference.

Do you need more leads for a particular product? Are you looking to hire strong talent for a key role? Is there an influencer out there in the crowd who could bring your project significant exposure? Figure out your reasons for attending the conference and craft your list accordingly. Intentionality breeds confidence and having a game plan ahead of time will make networking less intimidating.

Bring the merch

Having a well-designed, branded image that you can share with people at conferences will help them remember you and connect with your business. The general rule here: the more creative and colorful, the better. Every company has the same run-of-the-mill pens, memo pads, and key rings. Think outside the box with your giveaways.

Bring a flash drive with your company’s logo emblazoned on it with some preloaded decks that share your organization’s key business insights. Give your fellow attendees specially-made business cards that offer discounts or trial access to your product or service as a way to introduce your business. If you’re a more introverted business leader, this is a fantastic way to let your content do the talking for you while sharing items of value that get people engaged with your business.

If you feed them, they will come

Wining and dining often leads to successful networking. Remember that targeted shortlist of people to meet we mentioned earlier? Here’s a great way to put that list to good use. Pick one or two especially important people from that list and treat them to a nice meal. Meals are opportunities to build a strong rapport with a captive audience and offer focused time for more serious discussions.

If an intimate dinner doesn’t work for your situation and you need to appeal to a broader audience, sponsor a breakfast at the conference where you can discuss issues of importance in your industry. While everyone is munching and discussing the topic at hand, provide everyone with a clever hashtag that will get your company’s message out there. You’ll have attendees tweeting and posting pictures of what they loved about the event, and your company’s role will be highlighted as well.

Come with backup

It’s virtually impossible to fluidly connect with every person you encounter. Your best bet to maximize exposure is to bring support with you and always pair up when networking in large groups. If you and your partner are working multiple rooms, you’ll get a feel for each other’s style over time and will be able to play off each other’s unique skills and quirks seamlessly.

Also, networking can get tiring, so simply being able to check out for a few minutes to make a call or grab some coffee will help you keep your energy up while your partner continues to make the necessary connections. Lastly, having someone there to help you synthesize all of the new information you’ve learned and plan next steps can be incredibly helpful to taking advantage of the networking you accomplished that day and leveraging it for your business’s gain.

Follow-up is everything

Arguably the most important part of networking comes after the initial interaction: following up. This key next step is essentially the whole point of making those connections in the first place–to connect later on and support each other’s business goals in some way. A few smart practices for following up include:

Send a quick email to establish contact. That way, you’re in each other’s queue for connecting again in the near future.

Offer some support right off the bat. Figure out what they’re looking for (a lead, job opportunities, connections to people in your network, etc.) and provide what seems reasonable.

Use tools like LinkedIn to formally place people you meet in your network and to get a better understanding of their professional circle.

Schedule a follow-up call. Sometimes you can’t go that deep in the midst of a busy conference, so throw something on the calendar in the following weeks to ensure that time is allocated to discuss the next steps.

While networking can feel overwhelming, simply being prepared, leveraging the right tools, and prioritizing follow-up can go a long way towards ensuring that your time at conferences is well spent. Follow these tips and you’ll be able to maximize your efforts in building the right connections necessary to grow your business.

  Go to our website:   www.ncmalliance.com

  5 Ways to Network for Success at a Conference By Drew Hendricks It’s only awkward if you make it awkward. Effective networking at conferences can be both helpful for your business and even a little fun.

[omgnsfwisnsfw-blog]

NSFW #2.2: Chum

The crescent moon shone in the clear, star-dotted sky above. The warm air blew in a soft breeze, and all around were the whooshing of waves. The scent of salt gave the air a not-unrefreshing tang. And on this beach, far from home, the waves broke over Mike McGuire’s ankles, the Bronx Brawler wearing a black sports-bra like top under a gauzy vest of orange fabric they’d picked up at a trip to the marketplace along with black shorts that went about halfway down to their knees. Along with the moon, a few inflatable lanterns were placed strategically in a semicircle into the sand, giving the scene an air of quiet ambiance. There were thoughts running through their head, thoughts that were totally untoward with the serenity around them. They were bottled, for now, like a storm confined to a teacup ready to be unleashed at the proper time. But for this second, they breathed it in. “Mom used to take me to the beach as a kid. Pool, too. She taught me everything she fuckin’ knew and I took to it like a duck. Not as good as her but most people ain’t.” They sighed, and looked behind them to the person they were speaking to. “Sometimes I really wish I was a fuckin’ shark. I’d just swim all day and eat stupid shit-talking bitches alive.” John Bishop Church was near, also dressed for the setting, in a simple black tank and matching board shorts with green racing stripes down the sides. His arms folded over his chest and he frowned as his mind clicked through how to respond to such an admission. His shoulders slumped as nothing came through. The camera phone, set on a tripod, framed them both in the picture clearly. The scene faded to black. There were precious seconds in this blackness before a voice, John’s, chimed in, “That about sums it up, right, Brenna Gordon?” The picture came up again. A few more lanterns had been thrown in quickly, the inner LEDs glowing orange and green, the lighting a bit brighter now. Mike shook their head, letting out a harsh sigh. “You know what? I am fuckin’ disappointed. I mean, I could go with the standard ‘I thought we were friends’, but I’d just be kidding myself. I thought you were cool enough but facts’ facts, I didn’t really know you all that well. But I did think pretty good of you, enough to know you ain’t to be fucked with, you’re dangerous as shit in that ring, even enough that I didn’t think you were the kind of person to fuckin’ regurgitate the same tired BS already crapped out by silly douchenozzles I pictured you a better caliber of person than. Shows how the fuck much I know.” Their shoulders shrugged in a distinctive ‘oh well’ manner. “To say we haven’t heard all of that before would be an understatement. But I get it,” John nodded, “This is a new audience and so the old idiom of ‘If I haven’t seen it, it’s new to me.’ applies here.” John stepped further back into the water. “So let’s dive in,” his tone was dry but with a lilt of borrowed sarcasm, “This big conclusion, Brenna? I agree with Mike. Whether it's two malcontents in a department store, a braggadocious silver-tongued Texan, or YOU, Brenna Gordon, it all sounds awfully familiar. Because we say we aim to be the best, that we claim to be the best - we are self-righteous,” his gaze narrowed, “So tell us. How are we supposed to approach this?” He turned to Mike. “Mike, I hope we can manage to win. It’d sure be nice but if not, oh well, losing is just as fun.” “Golly gee willikers, Church, that it would. Also I’m sure glad we don’t have any aspirations about leaving this tag division or any others better than we found it. Who wants to elevate the game when the status quo is just peachy fuckin’ keen?” An exaggerated wink, accompanied by an ‘OK’ gesture. The pinky and ring fingers are then lowered as Mike’s cheesy expression melts into a glare. “And just as a side note, a heavy chunk of our merch proceeds go to shit like the Trevor Project, Project Innocence… you know, not that it matters but since we’re apparently playing Selfless Good Guy Bingo here thought I’d educate your lily-white ass. Not like it’s right there on our website or anything.” John stepped back to Mike. He put a hand on their shoulder. “I understand what this is about, though. Doing anything to blur and obfuscate what this is about. With your infinite knowledge, you try your damndest to stake claim to what we are, what we aren’t.  But we are here right now to put this ship back on course. Brenna, your partner Berlin seems to have the right idea. Tag. Team. Wrestling.” “See, I like him. But then, I liked Brenna, so I’m kinda not in the position to trust my initial impressions of people right now. If Brenna’s effect on you is to make you more like her? I’d head for the hills, my dude, before you start acting like you’re perpetually on the rag. But let’s play harpy’s advocate here for a minute. Let’s pretend that we really are writing you off because you don’t meet our standards for what a tag team should be. We’d be walking into an ass kicking. You know why? Because I see something. Something I don’t see very often unless I’m watching tapes of me and Church. Last time I saw it in another team we lost our straps, so you two had better believe the last fucking thing we’re gonna do is underestimate you. But I wonder… do you know what to do with that? Has your chemistry been tested and galvanized like ours has?” “Don’t know. We didn’t know much about Berlin’s history but thanks to him, we have somewhere to start,” and then John raised a finger up, “and yes, one of our golden rules is to never underestimate our opponents. That doesn’t mean we don’t listen and observe. Like what exactly stops Berlin Anderson from learning about us on his own instead of waiting for hearsay from a person who has never shared a ring with us before? Another thing, the greatest tag teams ever? They stood together, brothers-in-arms, and they did not speak at cross purposes.” “Are we one of the greatest tag teams ever? Nah. Despite what you may think we think, we ain’t that full of ourselves. Maybe one day we’ll stand with the Foundations, the Legions, the Busters, the Express. The same dedication to the art flows through our fuckin’ veins, after all.” Another wave broke around their ankles, perhaps a bit shallower as the moon pulled the tide back little by little. Step by step, they emerged out of the water. They both crouched in front of the camera. “One final thing, Brenna Gordon, only my friends call me John. You’ve made it abundantly clear what you are.” “Opponent. Adversary. But most importantly? In our way. Later, chum.” Grinning like a great white, Mike reached toward the camera and cut out the picture. Mike sighed as the extinguished light on the phone signified that their words and actions were once again private. They helped gather up the lanterns, turning off the lights and deflating them until just a couple were still lit. Holding onto one, they sat down on the sand, looking out to the water as it rose up to lap at their toes. “I thought we were done with this bullshit. I know you said we weren’t here to make friends, but not being treated with fucking disdain by somebody I thought was cool - again - would be nice.” Brenna’s words hadn’t been as devastating to them as other words and actions had been in the past. Still, though, it wasn’t pleasant. John sat down beside them. His hand squeezed around Mike’s wrist lightly, “I didn’t want to say but she never was going to get us. She doesn’t know us. Doesn’t need to.” “Does anybody?” It was a gloomy thought, they supposed. But who did they have but each other? Now that they thought about it, they could really count their friends on their fingers and have digits left over. Their fanbase was loyal and always nice to have, but Mike knew better than to equate fandom with friendship. John didn’t think about that too much. He liked what he liked. To a fault, whatever routine he was given, he would adhere to. For better or worse. And so their circle was tight. He deflected perhaps the morass nature of this query, “Sure. But present company excluded, this business isn’t much for that. And maybe we were accountable for some of that. But outside of that? Your family, I’d consider them friends foremost.” Mike smiled up at him in the way they wouldn’t consciously do if there was a camera on them, and scooted a little closer, their head resting on his shoulder. Something crossed their mind then, something they’d asked about once before. They’d gotten a little information then, but something in them always craved a little more. Anything that could get them closer to him. “...can you tell me a little more about yours?” There was an extended period of silence between the two. “Not much to say…” John trailed off. He wasn’t ending the conversation. However, it’d been so long. He had shared with Mike about the lack of contact. Relationship trends would indicate that the little notoriety that John had obtained in the last year in something other than what used to define his existence would draw that sort of attention. John was sure he had extended family. He didn’t live in a vacuum. But, he wasn’t sure. He couldn’t really remember who they were. And while it had been many years since he really thought about her, his mother, always seemed to understand who he was - even if he didn’t. As if in mid memory, he blurted out, “I didn’t want to join the wrestling team in middle school. My mother insisted. Said I had the right mind for it.” He didn’t want to admit that he could barely remember her face. His ties to that life had been washed away. John’s mother may have planted the seed but she never saw her son succeed and grow to love the sport of wrestling, in all its forms. The following tendencies may have sounded familiar to Mike. “I’d fill up notebooks for each event I’d compete in…” He cut himself off, clamming up. Internally, something utterly devastating pushed against him. It was an impossible desire to have something that he could never have. And while the details were blurry due to the passage of time, he could envision the enormity of that very moment that brought this on. John remembered clearly lamenting to his mother that she was the only person who seemed to understand his line of thought. She laughed at that notion. She said that it wasn’t too hard. And that she would hope John could find that elsewhere with someone else. A different bond. He was too focused on the breaking of his routine to attach any credence to what she said. And it was too late to share his enlightenment now. He lowered his head, the impact of that void finally hitting him after all these years.     Mike almost said something. The last few minutes had been nothing but the night wind and the steady sound of the ocean. Someone else might have been confused or annoyed at the drop-off, or have said something by now. They just pressed themselves a little closer. They wouldn’t invalidate his feelings by telling him not to be sad, especially about something like this, but there was no reason he had to be sad alone.