#getting an insane reaction like the one I just had
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
baptismbaby · 17 hours ago
Text
★ ⁺.𝘜𝘕𝘗𝘜𝘕𝘐𝘚𝘏𝘈𝘉𝘓𝘌
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
toxic!ellie x reader summary: you and ellie are on and off constantly and have been for years. but you can’t stop coming back for more… until finally, you’ve just had enough. warnings: this one is gonna be PRETTY rough. slight age gap but nothing toooo crazy (reader is 21, ellie is 28). ellie isn’t just toxic but she’s also kinda insane. Weird as hell matter of fact. slapping, choking/breath control, hair pulling, strap(r!receiving), fingering (r!receiving). ellie is manipulative. ellie’s bit of a player but doesn’t actually physically cheat. she just flirts w other girls smh my head (fr irritated over this fact as if i aint the one who’s writing her this way) note: listen to unpunishable & crush-stripped by ethel cain. hope u guys enjoy the ride Wc: 5.1k<3
God, you hated and worshipped Ellie at the same time. She was simultaneously the worst and best person you’ve ever met. You remember how infatuated with her you were when you were a senior in high school. She was the town’s local mechanic. The shop was owned by her step dad, Joel Miller, who did a lot for the school you attended. You would see her pretty often due to the shitbox you drove back then. You were only seventeen at the time so she never seemed too interested in you but would compliment you here and there when she wasn’t being dry. You thought she looked so cool with her oil covered hands, marlboro red stuck between her chapped lips, and camo jacket sleeves pushed up to her elbows to reveal her tattoos and randomly placed scars. You thought you were in over your head, trying so hard to catch her attention knowing she was bit of a whore who fucked women and pushed them aside. You’d wear short skirts that revealed your ass with the tiniest gust of wind and low cut crop tops. You’d linger around to watch her work on your engine, eyeing her skilled fingers and later touching yourself to the thought of them. You wanted her to really notice you and give you a chance, even if it meant she’d treat you how she did all the other women. Just a random fuck.
On your eighteenth birthday, you made sure you would run into her at some point during the day to let her know you were officially an adult. You remember being crushed when she laughed and rolled her eyes at you, informing you that you were still too young for her. But it didn’t stop you from getting what you wanted. You showed up pretty often at her job for six months after that until you got a new car. Ellie noticed your absence and went looking for you at your college. When she showed up to your dorm, it was from there the two of you formed a relationship. In the beginning, Ellie was quite gentle with you. It shocked you at first considering her reputation but you adored every second of it. You were fine if she used you too and Ellie knew that. After a while, that was what Ellie really loved most about you. How you were willing to try filthy things with Ellie just to please her, whether you liked it or not, and how you dressed how Ellie told you.
But Ellie always gets bored after a period of time, always needing something to happen so she isn’t in a routine. So she broke up with you right before your nineteenth birthday. To this day, your reaction to the news is still one of the best moments of Ellie’s life. You couldn’t stop blowing up her phone, begging her to come back. Showing up at her job and at her house just to ask her to tell you what you did wrong. It wasn’t until one day, you pushed past her and went straight to her bedroom, that she actually took you back. Walking in to see you fully undressed and on your knees waiting for her made her melt. You were wrapped around her finger completely and would do anything to please her. Even if it meant Ellie was just using you.
Once again, Ellie was acting strange. You knew this meant she was about to break up with you and you mentally started preparing yourself for it. You created scenarios in your head and created a script on what to say when she finally does it and how you would come back to her this time. You often considered just waiting for her to come to you but were too afraid that she wouldn’t. You needed her more than you’d like to admit and it’d kill you if she didn’t take you back or wanted you. 
Ellie took you to the bar to “dance,” she said. But you were left alone for a whole half hour, downing a variety of fruity cocktails until you could hardly see.
“Ellie,” you slurred under your breath, looking side to side to see if she was nearby. “Where the fuck are you?”
You stumbled out of your seat and stood up straight, pulling down on your skirt a bit before slowly walking through the crowd. You kept gently bumping into people which felt like you were being pushed due to how drunk you were. You’d hiccup out an apology before continuing your search. You stopped when you noticed a girl towered over another one against a wall, her hand brushing up and down the woman’s side. You thought your blurry eyes deceived you but from this distance, it looked like Ellie. Ellie was a lot of things but she sure as hell wasn’t a cheater. You began to tip toe over, too nervous for the unknown couple to see you so it wouldn’t seem as if you were being a creep if it wasn’t Ellie. But the more your eyes focused, you could see her camo jacket and messy short hair clearly. Your heart sank to your stomach, tears filling up your eyes and threatening to fall down. But the sadness that engulfed your heart quickly turned into anger. 
“Ellie!” you roared, catching her attention. She didn’t jump or seem surprised. She just sent you a sly smile while backing away from the girl who looked at you like you were crazy.
“Relax,” yelled Ellie calmly over the music. “We’re just talking. Making friendly conversation.”
“Yeah, too friendly!”
“What, I’m not allowed to talk to other people?”
“Who is that, Ellie? Your girlfriend?” the other girl questioned.
Ellie eyed you up and down with a smirk. Perfect, she thought. “Nah,” Ellie drawed out. “Just some chick.”
“Some chick? Some chick?!” you screeched. At this point, the whole bar was watching everything go down. Someone was already out looking for the shit security so they could put a stop to it.
“Yeah, some chick,” Ellie spat out at you. “Go get a ride home and leave me alone.”
Something took over you in that moment. You were used to Ellie’s little games but this was new. This was different. You didn’t care about the other toxic shit she did but this was unacceptable. You didn’t prepare yourself for this and was unsure what to do. Without a second thought, you charged towards her and back handed her so hard she lost her balance. She fell against the wall, her hand clutched to her cheek and eyes wide. You’ve never seen that expression on Ellie’s face before. She was so stoic, nonchalant and cool. You weren’t sure if it was hurt you were seeing or if she was impressed that you actually hit her.
“You wanna be that way, Ellie? Huh? Fine! I’ll leave you to it!”
Before you could say anything else, a pair of strong arms wrapped around you and picked you up. “Hey, let her go, you don’t have to do that asshole!” you heard Ellie shout from behind you. You were steady beating and kicking the man but he kept a firm grip on you. Before you knew it, you were on your back and you yelped out in pain. “What the fuck, man?”
You opened your eyes to see Ellie shoving the security man inside, hearing him say something about calling the police. Ellie turned towards you and kneeled down. “You okay?”
She tried helping you up but you shoved her hand off, getting up on your own and backing away from her. “Leave… me… alone! God, this is all your fault!”
Ellie’s face dropped in anger. “You’re the one who fucking hit me!”
“Whatever, Ellie! I don’t want to talk about this anymore! I want you out of my life!”
“Fine! I’ll call you an uber and I’ll stay the fuck out of your life!”
While the two of you sat on the ground waiting for your uber, Ellie kept thinking about how happy she was. You hitting her was the last thing she expected and she was proud of you for it. She almost wanted to backtrack and tell you to come home with her, that she’d make it all better. But that wouldn’t be fun. It’s better to see how long it takes for you to break down and come running back. And it didn’t take long at all. The longest time was two and a half days. She suspected you’d think about it and try to hold out for three. The uber finally arrived after what felt like forever. You walked slowly towards it in silence, refusing to look back at Ellie. But once you were in the car, you glanced out the tinted windows. You could’ve swore she was smiling. A real smile, not her usual smirks or pursing her lips together in an awkward “smile” if you could call it that. She genuinely looked happy.
-
Four days had passed since the incident. Ellie was starting to wonder where you were, why you hadn't showed up or called crying. She kept telling herself you were holding out as long as you could.
A week had passed, Ellie was starting to worry. This wasn’t like you. Ellie’s house felt so empty without you, she felt like she would go crazy any second. She started spending the days on the couch in the living room, watching the door carefully and waiting for you to burst through it.
Two weeks. For the first time since she was a kid, Ellie was distraught. Confused. Hurt. Where were you? She was fighting the urge to call and text you. Now, this wasn’t like Ellie. Real feelings, wanting to skip work to show up at your door and beg for you to come back. She’d get on her knees if you asked, she’d kiss your feet and try her best to reason with you. She was willing to feel uncomfortable in her own skin just to get you back. 
Three weeks, Ellie started calling your phone. The first time it immediately went to voicemail. Ellie slammed her phone down on the floor and watched it shatter. Fine, you don’t want to talk? You’ll never be able to reach her again. Now, you’ll have to show up and boy did she want you to show up. She had so many thoughts she needed to let out, she needed to blame you for this when deep down she knew it was her fault.
One month. Ellie had gotten a new phone and was now texting you off an app.
where the fuck are you???
why wont you come over
why would u block me
what the fuck
wheres my sweet girl
i need you.
The texts popping up on your phone concerned you. You knew it was Ellie. You were done with her for good but you weren’t expecting her to reach out to you ever. You were devastated, crying yourself to sleep every night wondering why you were never good enough for her. She was cold. You knew that before you got with her, why were you so stupid to keep trying to get her attention? You just wished you could go back in time and change everything. 
please baby
come home
“Who’s that?” your mother asked as she entered the room.
“Ellie… I think I should go see her,” you said with a sigh.
“Honey, when is enough enough?”
You ignored your mom, walking past her and heading towards your bedroom. You shoved on your shoes and grabbed your keys, once again ignoring your mom’s warnings as you left the house. Maybe it’ll be different this time. It had to be.
-
You parked in Ellie’s driveway, sitting there for a second after turning off the ignition to collect yourself. You weren’t sure what you were walking into. A part of you was excited to see Ellie. You missed her terribly. But the other part of you was scared. Could you control yourself and not fall back into her arms? Is it possible that you really can be independent and move on with your life? You stepped out of the car and made your way towards the door, reaching up to knock. You flinched when it swung open, revealing Ellie with a slight crazed look in her eye. When she saw you standing there, looking exhausted and sad, she let out a sigh of relief. “Baby,” she whispered, holding the door wide open so you could come in. You walked inside and passed her, ignoring her open arms. 
“Come here,” she spoke once again after shutting the door. “Please?”
“Ellie… I just wanted to check on you, that’s all. I wanted to see if you were okay.”
“I’m not okay. You didn’t come back to me. I thought something was wrong.”
“There is something wrong.”
“Tell me,” she breathed, rushing towards you and gently grabbing your face. Her thumb began to caress your cheek, a gesture she hasn’t done since the two of you first started going out. You clenched your eyes shut and let out a shaky breath. You so badly wanted to fall apart. Maybe she’d listen to you this time and comfort you. Maybe she would change. “Baby, please.”
“You were flirting with another girl, Ellie. There’s a lot I can tolerate, a lot I can handle, but not that”
“You know I didn’t mean it.”
“But it hurt me,” you responded, your voice cracking. A tear slipped down your face, Ellie quickly catching it with her thumb.
“I know, baby.”
“You ruined me…”
“Shh,” Ellie cooed, pulling your body against hers and resting her chin on your shoulder. “I know, baby. I know I did.”
“I don’t know why I’m this way,” you wept softly. “When is enough… enough?”
Ellie knew she finally did it this time. It made her heart ache. She was used to seeing you cry but this made her want to cry with you. She realized just how fucked in the head she was, hurting the only girl who ever truly loved her and looked past her flaws. Hurting the only girl she ever loved and still loves. Despite being together for years, Ellie couldn’t remember a time she told you that. It was always you saying it to her, Ellie responding with an “I know, me too.” But she can’t actually think of a time when she said it outright. She had to force herself to face her feelings if she wanted to keep you. She needed to stop playing her little games on you, pushing you away just to drag you along once you came crawling back. Ellie finally understood that she can’t live without you. And that meant having to change for you, do right by you, and be a better woman to you. You changed so much for her, it was only fair for her to do the same.
“You know I love you, right?” Ellie muttered. You froze, your grip on Ellie tightening.
“You… you wh-what?”
“I love you,” Ellie repeated. “I never say it but I do. I’m… an idiot.” She pulled away so she could look you in the eye. “I know I fuck up… a lot. I don’t want to do that again. I want to be better.”
You weren’t sure what to say. It meant a lot to hear that from Ellie. You knew she wouldn’t say it if she didn’t mean it, either. It was obvious to you from the beginning that Ellie was awkward discussing and being open about her feelings. Hell, most of the things you knew about her came from her step dad, Joel. She refused to talk about her past or talk about anything too personal. In all reality, you only knew the Ellie with the walls she built around herself. This was a huge step for her. And you wanted the wall to collapse even further. You wanted her to give herself completely to you as you’ve done with her.
You decided that words weren’t enough. Instead, you pressed your lips against hers, moaning softly at the contact. God, you missed her lips. Ellie’s arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer, deepening the kiss. Her nails dug into your slightly exposed hip bone, causing you to whine. Soon enough, Ellie was picking you up and taking you to her bedroom. She threw you on the bed and crawled over you, eyes taking all of you in before stealing another kiss from you. The makeout session was sorta rough and messy, the two of you clawing at each other and groaning, desperate to be closer. 
“What do you need from me, baby?” Ellie asked between kisses.
“Hurt me… please, Ellie… hurt me.”
Ellie wasted no time grabbing a handful of your hair and yanking it back, forcing you to look at her. You moaned loudly, watching her carefully with your mouth hung open. She used her thumb to part your lips more before shoving it inside, making you suck and bite on her thumb.
“Do you think anyone else would have you if they knew how dirty you are?” Ellie asked in a condescending tone. You shook your head no. “Atta girl.” She pulled you towards her until you were sat up straight. She grabbed the bottom of your shirt and yanked it roughly over your head, throwing it down to the ground. You lifted up your hips to make it easier for Ellie to pull off your pants and underwear in one swift movement. “Fuck, baby. This mess for me?”
“Ellie-” Ellie cut you off with a slap before wrapping her hand around your throat, pressing the sides of your neck gently.
“All I need is a yes or no, got that?”
“Y-Yes,” you whined.
Ellie let you go and leaned forward to give you another kiss before shoving you back down. She hovered over you, her free hand travelling down your body until it reached your throbbing cunt. She pressed a finger against your clit, watching in awe as your body jolted from the contact. “You want more, pretty girl?”
“Please?”
Ellie smirked, bringing her fingers down to your entrance and pushing them in roughly. She placed her thumb on your clit and began rubbing in circles while her fingers slowly curled up inside you, going in and out. You arched your back in pleasure, groaning at the agonizingly slow pace she was going. It felt so good that you were almost lightheaded and the slow pace almost made it feel tortuous. 
“Fuck, I missed you like crazy. I was going insane without you. I was convinced I would die without you,” Ellie whispered in your ear. “I missed your pretty cunt. I missed how desperate you are for me. Are you still desperate for me?”
“Mmm, yes, Ellie, I-I am.”
“Hm.. I don’t think so. If you were, you would’ve been back in my bed weeks ago. You would’ve gotten this every night. Instead, you had your fingers and imagination and that’s just useless. It isn’t me.”
Ellie’s breathing grew heavy as she watched you get off on her fingers, your hips bucking up and down, needing for her to speed up. But she refused. She liked it better when you fucked yourself against her.
“You know I just wanted to piss you off. Tell me you know that, baby. Tell me.”
“I-I know, I know,” you moaned.
“No other woman could ever take your place. You’re my angel,” said Ellie. You opened your eyes to look at her, almost falling apart to see her eyes staring down at you with an unfamiliar softness. Something changed in Ellie while the two of you were apart. It was a good change. A change you hoped stayed.
“Fuck me, please E-Ellie. I need… I need to feel you inside me,” you mumbled out. “Please!”
Ellie wasted no time getting her fingers out of you, sucking them clean and moaning at the taste of you. She began to quickly undress herself, going to the drawer to take out the harness and toy. She slipped it on once she was finished putting it together and made her way towards you. She grabbed your hair, tugging it until you understood that she wanted you to stand up and get on your knees.
“Get it ready, baby,” she demanded, placing the tip of her strap on your bottom lip.
“But Ellie, I-I’m so wet already… please, I need you.”
Ellie gave you a quick yet harsh slap, shoving her fingers inside your mouth to open it. She pushed the strap inside, sighing at the sight of her cock in your mouth.
“I don’t care how wet you are, I just love facefucking you.”
You slowly bobbed your head back and forth, looking up at Ellie through your eyelashes. Ellie placed her hands on either side of your head and began to push you further down, thrusting her hips forward. The sight of you on your knees while Ellie fucks your face was enough for Ellie to believe she could cum by just watching you do this. She knew if she didn’t look away, she probably would. Especially when tears started to fill your eyes. She pulled it out, leaning down to your level to give you a sloppy kiss.
“You’re so beautiful,” Ellie said when she broke the kiss. “I want you to bend over at the edge of the bed, okay baby?”
“Yes ma’am,” you responded, receiving a good girl from Ellie. You stood up and went to the side of the bed, bending over and slightly arching your back. You felt Ellie’s hands caress your ass before giving it a smack. You jumped at the contact and moaned, shivering as a rush of excitement ran through you. You felt the tip of Ellie’s strap brush against your entrance. Ellie thrusted harshly into you, moaning out at the sound of you calling her name.
“Is this what you needed?” Ellie asked, pulling out to thrust into you harder.
“Fuck!” you whined, gripping onto the bed sheets.
Ellie began fucking you roughly, at a speed that was so unbearable yet you couldn’t get enough. “Is it? Hm? Is this what you needed?”
You tried to answer but couldn’t. The only thing you could do was whine louder, the feeling of Ellie’s cock slamming into you making your brain foggy. You could only focus on one thing at a time and answering a question was the last thing on your mind. Ellie wrapped both of her hands around your neck and pulled you back, forcing you to arch even more. You let out a whimper at the sudden contact, unable to breath as the blood rushed to your head.
“You can’t be a braindead whore already,” Ellie spat out. “Tell me this is what you needed or I’ll stop.”
“I.. needed… th-this,” you gasped out, squeezing your eyes shut as you started to feel lightheaded. Ellie let go, smirking as you took a deep breath, your head dropping to the mattress from feeling too heavy. You could hardly think or even feel relief from being able to breathe again. Ellie wasn’t letting up, only fucking you harder and deeper that you were convinced she would tear you apart. The room was filled with the most obscene, filthiest noises. If anyone were to walk by the house, they’d probably think someone was watching porn on full volume. Or that someone was getting murdered.
“That’s it, sweet girl,” Ellie praised. “Taking every inch of my cock so well.”
You felt your legs start to wobble, unable to hold yourself up from how weak you were getting. “E-Ellie, please, I can’t hold m-myself up… anymore… please!”
“You can take it baby, I know you can,” Ellie encouraged you. But you couldn’t. You really couldn’t. You barely raised your head just enough to catch a glimpse of you and Ellie in the mirror in front of you. Fuck, the expression on her face as she fucked you made you whine even more. You couldn’t take your eyes off of her, glancing back and forth between her face and her tits bouncing. It wasn’t long until you felt close, your moans getting raspy as your voice gave out, your breathing uneven and legs trembling.
Ellie grabbed your hair and yanked your head up, forcing you to make eye contact with her through the mirror. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against your ear, kissing it softly and biting it afterwards. “I want you to watch yourself come undone for me,” she whispered. “Hold on a little longer. You’ve been taking my cock so well, keep going, baby.”
“I-I c-can’t!”
“Yes you can, don’t think about anything else. Just let go, I’ll keep you up.”
In a swift movement, Ellie pushed you forward slightly so that your left knee was on the mattress and grabbed your right leg to hold against her hip. While it relieved you to be off your feet, this new and strange position only made her go deeper. You cried out in pleasure, almost going crazy feeling your orgasm build up. You were so desperate for release, ready to collapse onto the bed and catch your breath. Ellie kept your head held up by your hair, her nails digging into your right thigh as she picked up the pace. It wasn’t only but a few seconds after that that you were cumming, screaming out her name and attempting to pull yourself away from Ellie by clawing at the bedsheets. Ellie let go of your hair and leg, wrapping her arms around your waist and pulling you back so that her cock was fully in you again. It was unbearable feeling her still thrusting inside of you, riding out your high.
“Don’t fight it, baby,” she said.
You gave up and crumbled beneath her, letting her slowly thrust into you as you started to come down. “Just like that… good girl.”
Ellie finally pulled out but kept her arms around you, picking you up and setting you on your feet. She turned you around to kiss you, her tongue going in circles around yours. She laid you down onto the bed and broke the kiss to lay next to you.
“Fuck,” you whined out, receiving a chuckle from Ellie. “I thought you were going to kill me.”
“You’re dramatic,” Ellie said with a playful scoff. “I fuck you that hard all the time.”
“Not… like that.”
“Mhm, like that.”
Ellie pulled you against her side, your head now resting on her bare chest. You focused on her heartbeat and smiled. You missed the sound of her heart beating. It soothed you to sleep every night. As if you were conditioned to it, you felt your eyes grow heavy and shut them, wanting nothing more than to fall asleep.
“Hey, did I say I was done?”
Your eyes shot open. Before you knew it, Ellie was pulling you on top of her. “I’m sleepy, Ellie,” you said with a yawn.
“I’ll let you sleep in a minute… I want you to ride me. You haven’t in so long. I know you can take it.”
Even though you wanted nothing more than to ride her, you were pretty convinced that you wouldn’t be able to. You were so weak from before, just now catching your breath.
“You know I’m not gonna push you if you can’t take it,” Ellie reassured. “But if you really think you can’t right now, that’s okay. I’ll hold you while you sleep.”
You gave Ellie a sleepy smile before bringing your hips up and lining the tip of her strap to your entrance. Ellie’s eyes widened. She wasn’t expecting that. She thought you would lay back down. She watched in awe as you slid down her length, whining out at the feeling of her filling you up once again. 
“My sweet girl,” Ellie whispered. “No matter how tired you are, you just can’t get enough of my cock, can you?”
You hummed out a response, slowly bouncing up and down on her strap. Your legs trembled as you tried picking up the pace.
“Hey, c’mere,” Ellie held out her arms, letting you lay down on her chest. “We can go as slow as you’d like.”
You nestled your face in Ellie’s neck as you slowly rocked your hips back and forth, whimpering softly as her tip brushed against your cervix. It was sore but so sensitive, enough to already send you over the edge again. But you didn’t want that yet. This softness Ellie had in her all of the sudden made you want to ride this out as long as you could. Even when you lost her virginity to her, she was gentle but not intimate whatsoever. But this was. You could feel the warmth in your chest growing more and more, loving this new feeling. You were so used to everything else that you never thought you’d want it to be this way. But with Ellie’s hands on your hips guiding you up and down slowly as she pressed kisses along your temple every now and then made you pray that something like this could happen again. You loved the pain Ellie made you feel, you loved being nothing but her fucktoy. But now, especially now, you knew you would need and want this too sometimes.
“Does it hurt?” Ellie asked, bringing one of her hands up your spine all the way to the back of your head. She caressed it gently, making you lift your head up and make eye contact with her. Her brows furrowed at the sight of tears in your eyes. “Wait, is this too much?”
“N-No,” you stuttered. “This is perfect. It’s… new.”
Ellie smiled. You grinned back at her, leaning down to kiss her softly. “I l-love you, Ellie.”
“I know, me…” Ellie paused and shut her eyes for a second. “I love you too.” As you continued to slowly ride her, you kept thinking that this is all you’ve ever wanted. To be enough for Ellie. Maybe you were stupid to feel it now, knowing that at any moment she could pull away again. And because of that, you knew you had to soak this all in. Focus extra hard on the things you don’t want to forget so that when she does leave, and you knew she probably would despite finally telling you she loved you, you’d have something beautiful to hold onto until you were back in her arms again.
180 notes · View notes
bettys-redwinesupernova · 3 days ago
Text
NOT YOUR BRO
drew starkey x fem!reader
Tumblr media
SUMMARY: y/n decides to use some ‘unusual’ nicknames for her boyfriend, drew, except it drives him insane.
based on this ask !! you come up with the CUTEST requests @xoxosblogsblog so thank you for this :) i hope it’s what you wanted, i tried to make it more of a one-shot than a drabble so i hope it’s okay <3
WARNINGS: just some fluffy goodness, one f bomb, and i believe that’s it !! (lmk if i missed anything !!)
WORD COUNT: 1.2k
THIRD PERSON +
The boutique smelled faintly of lavender and citrus, its soft jazz playlist creating a relaxed atmosphere as Y/N and the girls browsed racks of clothes. They had spent the morning shopping, arms now laden with glossy bags from Charleston's trendiest stores. Their conversation had drifted from outfit critiques to relationships as they admired a collection of flowy dresses near the dressing rooms.
"I don't know, it's just hard finding someone who actually gets me," Madelyn said with a shrug, running her fingers over the fabric. "You know, someone who doesn't freak out about my schedule."
"You'll find your person," Carlacia assured her. "Trust me, the right guy won't care how busy you are—he'll hype you up for it."
"True," Y/N chimed in. "Drew's my biggest cheerleader. Sometimes it's annoying how supportive he is."
The group laughed, and Madelyn smiled wistfully. "What do you even call Drew? Do you guys do the whole nickname thing?"
"Oh, for sure," Y/N replied, chuckling. "It's usually just 'babe,' but sometimes I call him 'Drewseph' when I'm feeling extra ridiculous."
"Drewseph?" Carlacia snorted, nearly doubling over. "That's incredible."
"I know, right?" Y/N grinned. "But seriously, I think he'd have a heart attack if I called him anything else. He's so used to those two."
Madelyn raised an eyebrow. "Like what? What would actually make him freak out?"
"I don't know..." Y/N tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Probably something like 'dude' or 'bro.' He'd be so confused."
"Oh my God, you have to try it!" Carlacia said, her eyes lighting up with mischief.
"What?" Y/N laughed, glancing between her friends.
"You should totally call him 'buddy,' 'pal,' or 'dude' tonight—just to see what he does," Carlacia suggested, practically bouncing on her heels.
"I don't know..." Y/N hesitated, though her grin betrayed her intrigue.
Madelyn joined in, nudging Y/N with her elbow. "Come on, it'd be hilarious. You know he'd lose his mind in the funniest way."
"I feel like he'd just be super offended," Y/N admitted, laughing.
"Exactly!" Carlacia said. "That's the point! He'll be all pouty and confused, and we'll all die laughing."
"Okay, but you guys better back me up if he gets mad," Y/N warned, smirking.
"Oh, we will," Madelyn promised, crossing her heart.
"Fine, I'll do it," Y/N said, shaking her head with a grin. "But you owe me if this backfires."
"Deal," Carlacia said, holding out her pinky for Y/N to shake.
As the group headed to the checkout counter, their laughter echoed through the boutique. Y/N could already picture Drew's reaction, and she had to admit—it was going to be fun.
The warm glow of sunset filtered through the floor-to-ceiling windows of Drew and Y/N's spacious Charleston apartment. It was the perfect evening to host the Outer Banks cast for dinner and a game night.
The girls entered the apartment, greeted by the savory aroma of roasted chicken, mac and cheese, and freshly baked rolls. Drew met Y/N at the door, leaning down to kiss her. "How was your day, babe?" he asked, his voice soft and warm.
"Perfect," Y/N replied, grinning. "How about you? Are you a certified chef now?"
"Close," he teased, sliding an arm around her waist. "Go wash up; dinner's almost ready."
The girls exchanged knowing glances behind Drew's back, suppressing their giggles. Carlacia nudged Y/N with a wink. "You better deliver tonight," she whispered.
"Oh, I will," Y/N murmured, smirking.
At the long dining table, everyone was buzzing with conversation as Austin laid down the last plate. Drew, seated next to Y/N, had one arm draped casually across the back of her chair. She eyed the mac and cheese near him and decided it was time to set the plan in motion.
"Hey, can you pass the mac and cheese, please, buddy?" Y/N asked, her voice casual.
Drew froze mid-conversation, his head snapping toward her. His brows furrowed in confusion as he glanced at the plate, then back at her. "Uh, sure... babe," he said, emphasizing the word as he slid the dish toward her.
"Thanks, dude," Y/N replied nonchalantly, biting back a grin.
Across the table, Carlacia snorted into her drink, and Madelyn covered her mouth to stifle her laughter. Drew's jaw dropped slightly as he turned to her again, a mixture of offense and bewilderment crossing his face.
"Dude?" he repeated under his breath, as if the word left a bad taste.
"Hmm?" Y/N feigned innocence, loading her plate with mac and cheese.
Shaking his head, Drew tried to let it go, but the girls' muffled laughter didn't escape him. His eyes narrowed suspiciously, but he didn't press further—yet.
The dinner continued with more subtle jabs from Y/N. "Hey, pal, can you pass the salt?" she asked later, earning another baffled look from Drew. When he handed it to her, she responded with a cheerful "Thanks, champ!"
By the time they cleared the table and set up for games, Drew was visibly on edge, his lips pursed as he watched Y/N interact with the group.
They were midway through a heated round of charades when Y/N delivered the final blow. "Your turn, bro!" she called to Drew, grinning widely.
That did it. Drew stopped in his tracks, tossing the game card onto the coffee table. "It's babe! Not 'dude,' not 'buddy,' and CERTAINLY not bro!" he exclaimed, his voice rising an octave in exasperation. His hands flew up in frustration, and he turned to Y/N with wide eyes. "What did I do? Are you mad at me? Why are you calling me that?"
Y/N couldn't hold it in any longer. She burst into laughter, doubling over as tears welled in her eyes. Carlacia and Madelyn followed suit, collapsing against each other in hysterics.
Drew's jaw dropped further. "This—this was a joke?" he asked, his voice wavering between relief and indignation.
Y/N wiped her eyes, reaching for him. "Yes, babe, it was a joke. The girls dared me to do it to see how you'd react."
Drew folded his arms, pouting dramatically. "That's mean. You nearly gave me a heart attack," he muttered.
"Aww, come on," Y/N cooed, scooting closer to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing kisses to his cheek. "You know I love you, babe."
Drew let out a dramatic sigh but couldn't hide the smile creeping onto his face. "You're lucky I'm obsessed with you."
"Lucky?" Y/N teased, kissing him again. "You're the lucky one, Drewseph."
The guys, still confused about what had just transpired, looked at each other. "Are we supposed to get it?" Austin whispered to Chase.
"No clue," Chase replied, shaking his head.
The girls' laughter echoed through the apartment as Drew finally cracked, pulling Y/N closer and resting his forehead against hers. "You owe me," he murmured.
"Anything you want, babe," Y/N whispered back, her grin mischievous. "But admit it—you love me even when I call you dude."
Drew groaned, shaking his head. "Don't push it."
Tumblr media
(divider by @kodaswrld !!)
betty’s notes ౨ৎ ⋆。˚
this was so sweet and silly !! going to get through to some angst requests soon, i feel like i’ve been drowning you all in fluff which is CRAZY because i’m an angst girly at heart🫣 i have enjoyed writing happy drew & rafe so i can’t complain !!
pls send some angst requests pls !! mainly w/ a happy ending :)
242 notes · View notes
labyrinthofsphinx · 2 days ago
Note
Do you think Al would actually get jealous at Vox getting closer with his female self? I remember him not being threatened, but since it's another version of himself, do you think he would be?
Anon asked: Alastor doesn't get jealous but he got jealous of Velvette right? Is there a reason for that? What would get Alastor jealous?
You know, those are excellent questions! I guess a little talk about jelly Al:
I might've mentioned it before but part of the reason that Alastor doesn't get jealous of Vox's, um, paramours is that he truly thinks Vox is only really interested in men, namely because he doesn't see him flirt with girls with any serious intent while he's around. It's a cover, a front, and any 'relationship' he could have with them is, to Alastor, based upon an impossible to maintain lie. He is very, very much in the black or white view on sexuality because of the time and place he was raised in. Basically, he's not jealous because he doesn't believe Vox would ever want someone else...which isn't too far off from the truth, if for entirely different reasons.
But there's another side to this, that Alastor has never seen Vox with someone he's had an actual relationship with, man or woman. Alastor is far from the first person that Vox has been in love with, though he's the only one that Vox himself admits finally makes feel like that passion and spark unlike anything and anyone before. But he's had other relationships before. Al's also not around to see Vox with his current paramours. Vox keeps it all behind closed doors and for a very brief time. Al might see them 'flirt' at a party, and maybe head off to a hotel together, but he doesn't see all the little things in between. That, and Vox is always back with him the next day.
This is all a long way to say that Alastor...has never been given a reason to be jealous. He's not threatened by people who he is convinced don't have a shot. He thinks he wouldn't be jealous but, oh boy, is he very, very wrong.
Take Velvette, for example. Kinda teased here, but Vel is someone who Vox has a longstanding business partnership/professional friendship with...who may also be interested in him like that. Professional business partners with benefits kinda deal, and they're both mature enough to just leave it at that.
But to Alastor? Who thinks that you can't have one without the other? Oh, he would get so, so jealous if he ever saw the two of them together. Heck, the kisses were already pushing it beyond acceptable. And he doesn't even realize he is jealous/possessive. And if you asked him, he'd deny it, and say that Vel is a woman so Vox can't love her anyways so what does it matter.
His reaction doesn't always reflect what he's saying ;)
Anyways, Vel loves to poke the bear. Hence, manipulating it to make Alastor jealous on purpose.
But, hypothetically, if there was a guy that caught Vox's eye aside from Al...well, they better start running. He might say he wants Vox to move on, but he both, in the back of his head, doesn't believe it could ever really happen and refuses to have someone take his attention away from him. He would torment anyone who got too close...and he probably wouldn't even realize he was doing it.
As I liked to put it, and in a nebulous way, Vox is Al's, but Al is not Vox's.
Annnnd to get to the female Alastor issue...oh boy, would that be a barrel of 'fun'. So, bluntly? Yes, he would be insanely jealous. Not only because this would be the, in Alastor's view, one and only woman who could catch Vox's eye, but also 'Allie' is a lot more aware and comfortable with herself than Alastor at this point.
'Allie's' been married before, and it wasn't a happy experience. She knows that she doesn't 'want' men in that way, and she doesn't 'want' women in the same way either. She hasn't quite gotten that she's aroace, particularly because there isn't a term at the time for it, but she's already figured out what she's comfortable with and what's too much, both emotionally and physically. Vox, to 'Allie', is just about perfect for her. He knows her boundaries without a word needing to be said. His touch doesn't make her skin crawl. She gets to define what their relationship is at any given point in time. There's no negotiation or trying to 'prove' her affections for him. He can love her without needing anything back, just like her Vee. Except he's a man, so she can even fulfill those little promises of a house with a white fence. If he was in her verse, she'd marry him, 100%. Possibly kids too, depending on her own comfort levels.
And that would drive Alastor up the wall. Because how dare. That's his Vox, and, no, he doesn't not care if they're technically the same person because they aren't the same person and-!
So, yeah, in short? He'd be very, very jealous.
Not that he'd really ever needed to be, because Vox would never do anything with 'Allie' that would make Al uncomfortable. All he'd really need to do, with any potential relationship, is tell Vox that he's uncomfortable with it and that would be that.
To Vox, his (but not his) Alastor will always come first.
(Secretly, Alastor knows that too.)
TLDR: Yes, Alastor would get jealous if there was ever a legitimate 'threat'. 'Allie' qualifies for that too, more than most. He's not usually jealous de facto though. And Vox would end any relationship on the spot the minute Alastor asked him to.
Thanks for the asks!
22 notes · View notes
mimiiiiiiiiisstuff · 3 hours ago
Note
Girl I have so many questions about your story it’s actually ridiculous!
(I don’t want to overwhelm you though so imma hold back)
is reader becoming a snake person a reference to snakes preying on bats and birds?( and will the snake being joker’s be important?)
Is Tiffany going to have to put effort into pretending she’s the ✨perfect sister✨ now that reader obviously isn’t going to do jack for them anymore? (Because ungrateful families don’t deserve muffins 😒)
Is reader going to be a hero or villain, or maybe something in between?
will we be able to get an idea of why the batfam treats reader like they’re some sort of pest?( you’d think they’d be more careful since reader could easily expose their identities if they thought about it 😒😒)
and finally.
Tim had a very…different…reaction to reader ‘framing’ Tiffany- is that important?
-🚚
yay ok this is my first like real ask! Yall have been making me so so happy with all the love! It really encourages me! And don't worry about overwhelming me! I can take it :) i'm answering this and then signing off to go to bed because I have the worst flu ever.
Ok so yes! Reader becoming a snake-meta-person does have to do with snakes preying on birds, honestly that was a little easter egg for funsies. Im glad you caught it! reader's gonna eat those hoes up !!!!!!! ( and they'll lock her up right after)
Tiffany will for sure try to imitate reader at first but that will eventually lead to her downfall! she can only keep it up for 6 months and then she'll be discovered. she can't imitate the genuine love and care reader puts into these things so they'll always be off no matter how much she tries. the batfam will end up realizing what they lost and do whatever it takes to get it back.
And yes, the snake being the Joker's will be important bc he's the joker and is so fucking insane that even his snake has to be special! all powers have consequences and these will be heavy. it will put reader through it, but will really shape them as a person.
Im leaning more toward reader being a hero??? but with the snake being literally radioactive it might be a kinda venom dynamic. im still not too sure tbh. with all the angst and neglect and the troubles of being a teen, she might be a bit of an anti-hero! she might pull a jason (ironic, i know) and go around killing all the villians!
the thing about the batfam, is that they don't even realize what they're doing to the reader. they literally see her as irrelevant so they don't notice their neglect or how much it affects reader. she's not even on their minds enough to be perceived as a threat. the only ones purposefully being mean are Damian and Jason, Damian because he sees reader as less than/ a threat and Jason because he is trying to push the reader out his life and not 'taint' her innocence.
Tim's reaction is different because he's suspicious. he thinks he would've noticed if reader was capable of doing something so sneaky and underhanded. he's the only one who is suspicious because he simply doesn't think she's smart enough to do this. he's gonna be the first to see Tiff's true colors.
Goodnight yall!!! i'll be back tmrw morning! keep sending more asks! I take requests so if you have any ideas you want me to write just send them in! I'll yandere platonic or romanitc. SEND THEM IN!!!!!!!!
20 notes · View notes
loserelf · 5 months ago
Text
maybe i do need to go to therapy bc its probably not good that ive been living on autopilot and the last 7 years went by so fast but also bc i was deliberatly Wanting the time to go by to put as much space between me and the events of 2017-2020 as possible all while somewhat knowing my young adulthood was slipping me by and now both my teenage years and my early 20s are gone and i still feel like my 19th birthday was yesterday yeesh!!
Tumblr media
#i do feel like im out of time completely and its kind of.making me insane bc its not fair lol#life could be worse! but it couldve been a lot better too#like on one hand i think i had a normal reaction to exceptionally traumatic shit happening to me with no support system.#and everything that happened was caused by shit out of my control and i Know that bc i spent my teen years specifically working hard to Be#in control#like i did make the choice to give up sure. but that was when absolutely every effort had been exhausted#and theres only so much a human being can take especially when i was so young#but on the other hand!! even when i found a support system and things are better now than they were#i still feel like im trapped perpetually in this Waiting period#waiting for life to begin Waiting for an OPPORTUNITY to make my life begin already#and no effort on my part yields anything so i have no choice but to WAIT#but im TIRED. of waiting#im sick of seeing videos of people way younger than me making art ive always dreamed id have made by now#theres also this invisable wall i have always had built around me that is Impenetrable and i keep hitting it#and its gotta be me but it really feels like the universe has some unseeable chains on me which aounds so stupid#but im not allowed to get passed it#im way past the point of even being capable of showing the agony it causes me now like its just a dull joke#ANYWAY the fact ive typed all this makes me think ok. yeah maybe it is time to talk to someone LOL#carry on im fine this happens to me all the time. helps to get it written out at least
8 notes · View notes
bpdamn · 7 months ago
Text
so it’s not enough for me to struggle mentally i’m also feeling the worst i’ve ever felt physically :)))
8 notes · View notes
nexus-nebulae · 7 months ago
Text
thinking about when i had such intense phantom limbs as a kid i told my math teacher about it
#like. I've had phantom wings since i was a CHILD and I'm not even kidding#i remember specifically saying 'i pretend to have wings so much that i can just Feel them there all the time now'#and he reacted in a way where he didn't want to tell me that's weird bc i was a Kid but also he totally thought it was really weird#which. was a reaction i knew very well at the time. that kind of quiet 'i dont know how to react to that but ok'#the trying not to make a weird face about it#so i shut up about it ever since! and then when i was 20 i found out what otherkin was#i remember them specifically being pegasus wings too we've always loved pegasi it was entirely bc of the barbie movie#i can't remember what the term is. for when you're A Fucking Lot of things all at once? poly something?#but we've always been like that#our first OC was plural coded and otherkin coded to the absolute max it was insane#and she was fully and entirely a self insert (at the time. nowadays she's her own guy)#but like. she could absorb souls on the brink of death and communicate with them inside her head#and she could shapeshift into any of those souls' forms at will#and she was supposed to be some kind of chimera#her 'true form' that i made of her was just all of her different forms crammed into one body#like. one owl wing one dragon wing. a dolphin tail. a fox paw and a pegasus hoof. scales mixed with fur. human shaped body. horns#if we weren't a system at the time then we were at least REALLY REALLY susceptible to becoming one we've always been Like This#and I'm willing to say i was an otherkin kid in the same way i say i was trans before i knew what that was#i didn't say I Am A Boy i just said I'm the closest a girl can get to being a boy (a tomboy)#i always leaned towards boys interests and boyish things. in the same way i taught myself to walk like a cat and meow convincingly#(to a point where i meowed once and my sister yelled at me to put the cat down if she's meowing. i was not holding a cat)#i didn't know what being otherkin was but i spent about as much time as possible being as animal as i could get#and i got offended when my friends didn't want to be animals with me. i had a lot of Horse Girl friends as a result#(hard to avoid horse girls in the middle of rural ohio tbh)
10 notes · View notes
averlym · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
whshdfhfjf.,,,
#close up!! because i firstly Did Not render them with such insanity in order for tumblr's lack of general resolution to make it blur#look at all the lines!!! teehee i still really really like this style of digital painting it's super super fun to do!!! and also secondly#because i went back and added a tag ramble and as i seem to often be doing??? lately?? reached the 30 tag limit and went 'hm ok how else..'#anyway the tag essay on that one is now up and talks about the artwork generally and miscellaneous thoughts!! that said. i need a space to#ramble about beatrix at Length because look you don't draw and paint etc a character for like ten hours without having a lot of thoughts#anyways ! i digress terrifically. tag rambles are more like trains of thoughts masquerading as subways and you get on and it's unfortunately#a rollercoaster track. but this is My Blog and i can do Whatever I Want as long as i don't hurt anyone <- affirmations!! also Harm Principle#lately it's been like *kicks up feet* *opens tumblr tags* *treats it as own personal journal* and tbh Good for me!! anyways back to beatrix#fun fact ! the thing that pushed me over the edge to go watch the musical after looking through the tumblr tag was a very specific poll.#and the fact that the winning option was blue hair and pronouns made me double over laughing so hard i had to go see the source material#mm i feel like lately the academic Context has been tossing me essentially into a blender HAHA ;-; so everyone in adamandi is to some extent#a Mood. but bea-specific (haha be specific)(sorry!)(wow this is the same reaction mechanism of my friend who points out innuendos)(...)#i think it's the wanting to prove herself. like from the whole abuela etc thing there's proof here she's got a Stable Support System of sort#and instead what beatrix continues to do is push themselves. 'i guess u could say i'm married to my work? god that's depressing' // no one#here to enforce that // abuela tells me to rest says i'm constantly stressed and i'll just get depressed like before but i still have to try#like. that shred of desperation that pushes you to the brink to neglect yourself (well i guess physically but also your morals..) and like!!#the whole 'lose half your soul thing' proves she's self aware!! like they know what they're doing is super dubious yknow! but they're still#they're still doing it even if it goes into conflict with their morality system in a way and then they justify it to themselves (see pt 1#of ghostwriter) and the whole wanting to achieve at all costs Despite the self awareness. (i think? this aspect also applied to quincy. but#thoughts on him will come later). more beatrix specific also is the fact that they genuinely adore their work.. 'i just love it here where#you know they'll be printing forever and you are just part of it' because that does kind of resonate with me. also the being behind in the#competition is real!!! i'm maybe talking about Art as a subject because that same drive for it exists on my good days i think. even#even when nothing seems to be going right and you've ended up at the back the intent passion inherent in what you do is still there!!!#the genuine. care she has for reporting. is so !!!!! to me... other beatrix thoughts include 'why reveal yourself at the end' aka vincent's#'u should have stayed silent u had a smart plan' like rip to them but i would not // it feels with bea's complex character i can't imagine h#her Not doing that. like the guilt is real i guess. and i am running out of tags but! smth also about her fervent hope or smth that she'll#eventually get to where she wants. and the resilient determination.. 'i won't let their deaths be pointless there's more good i'm gonna do'#they're so so real for that. i'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing; seeing myself reflected in aspects of characters like this.. but it's#it's there regardless. smth smth just make your peace with the person you are ig!! tldr beatrix campbell my beloved. hehe#adamandi
31 notes · View notes
knaveofmogadore · 8 months ago
Text
So like, imagine this. It's the first big family reunion after COVID restrictions let up, your family took a few years to all get vaccinated, ect. Your kid is 6, so they weren't old enough to take to the last one, this is the first time they're meeting some of these more distant relatives. So you introduce them to Uncle Mike, and you say "This is Uncle Mike. He thinks you're so small and delicious, and that it'd be so easy to pick you up and throw you at the nearest wall and break all your bones." If that 6 year old then power kicks uncle Mike in the nuts and runs away screaming, whose fault is that?
So this post is about Doctor Who. The patron unknowable Eldritch entity of your country has just spent an entire afternoon telling you that the universe is full of things that are stronger and bigger than you, and a lot of them will happily blenderize your planet for a bit of rocket fuel, or eat all of you for a big Sunday brunch. And he's letting that ship full of slavers happily fly away to tell the entire galaxy about your tiny planet's existence. You are an animal, your empathy and reason only extends to the boundaries of what you can understand, and the Doctor has just told you that the vast majority of the galaxy sees you as prey. Me, personally? I'm with Harriet, I wouldn't stand a chance in that situation, I'd 100% take that shot.
All I'm saying is that if the Doctor wanted to foster empathy, they probably shouldn't have started with enthusiastically explaining how cleverly the aliens were going to coerce them into slavery, especially not to a woman who grew up in Britain as it rebuilt itself from the blitz in a post-nazi Europe
7 notes · View notes
kwyoz · 14 days ago
Text
i finally finished the veilguard and i enjoyed it for the most part, but both lucanis's romance and the way the game ends so abruptly (imo) threw me off ngl.
#cw// spoilers#its lowkey your own fault if you interact with the fandom without finishing the game but i tagged it anyways#i shouldve folllowed my gut and went with emmrich instead bc people have mostly good things to say about it!!!#WHY IS LUCANIS SO UNDERUTUALIZED????#it felt like there was going to be a bigger storyline with spite and just??? nothing ????#and his romance scene is RIGHT AFTER THE PLOT TWIST???#EXCUSE ME??#and the fact theres no option to tell him youre trans even though other companions had it when you flirt??#i know you can mention it before but???#it sounds like theres just no option WHATSOEVER to mention it if you never do before that??#also maybe inquisition just let me eat good with continuing to play after the ending#but the fact you get sent back to the point of no return instead is so disappointing :((#and the way it just... ended made me so confused and idk if it was bc of what option i chosee#does the mythal option just suck ass or do almost all of them kind of just end a bit anticlimactically#also back on lucanis#why does it feel like im just annoying him when i flirt with him like THIS MAN HAS LITTLE TO NO REACTION TO YOUR FLIRTING GRAHHHH#also im going insane for more rook/spite/lucanis content bc the game did them so dirty together#and the fact that apparently one of his scenes is literally just reused from him and neve is just?? why??#and the fact apparently youre suppose to be together but you dont get a kiss scene or nothing until the end of the game basically??#also why does this mfer mention neve so damn much like what am i#chopped liver??#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#kwyoz.rants
4 notes · View notes
privatelife · 23 days ago
Text
been unspeakably horny for like 3 weeks straight im starting to get scared. well anyway. happy year
#scared bc for some reason my brain keeps forcing images of one of my coworker's into my periphery and i do NOT like him like that !!!!!#for once i can confidently say i am not into this man at all in the slightest so i need this to cease before i drive myself insane 🙏#one time like many many months ago idek how long ago me and him and someone else were talking in the office and#idk what it was the angle we were standing or the lighting idk what but he fluttered his little eyelashes and i got instantly wet#it was so weird and sudden and most of all unconscious that i had to walk away#usually i'd have to establish To Myself . In My Brain that im attracted to someone before i have a bodily reaction to them if thatmakessense#ever since then i have been. concerned#but anyway hes a 30-something receding hairline doomer libertarian former army guy. so NO !!!!!!!!#on the other hand he's got rich lesbian moms who already like me 🤔 on the other hand they are old republican white ladies.#on the one hand he's always pretty nice to me even when i dont deserve it and he says yes ma'am when i ask him to do things 👀#on the other hand he will adjust his balls no matter the situation or setting it pisses me off every time.#AND HE STINKS sometimes which is probably the worst of all#but ​above all else he is the spitting image (and personality) of charlie kelly . truly a mixed bag#anyway i think the scary part is i do think that if i really truly wanted to i could fuck him at a moment's notice i get the feeling he'd be#down. but with all the negatives ik i dont actually want to im just lonely and want some validation more than anything else#so i shant do a thing about it. but tell that to my pussy!#2025: i am mature now. but i be knowing things.
2 notes · View notes
moe-broey · 24 days ago
Text
My therapist hasn't killed me yet 👍
#unfortunately i actually. like i had so much to say that i couldn't get an in-depth response#sometimes that happens.#so like. not a negative 'oh you are going to die badly if this continues' reaction. just very thoughtful like#'oh... yeah... that's heavy. but it makes sense' response. which is. honestly. i feel better#even just w that. like. coming from the insane paranoia jumping to conclusions thought crime religion#one million guilt one million years. and also something Wrong w you. die. one thousand deaths#like. it's maybe gonna be okay. maybe i can explore heavier topics w care and consideration#without being shot on sight. or at v least knowing that if i am. i'm not necessarily The Problem here#feels. like an oversimplification. but you know. you know how it can be.#never ever ever wanna get into discourse though. ever. idk if it's irrational but i have always had an intense fear#that someday i'm gonna post something and then get lolcow'd to death.#like. it's not just my upbringing i don't think. it's the whole culture surrounding certain fandom spaces#which is honestly why i don't even consider myself a fandom blog. i'm an autism blog.#you get whatever i'm fixated on. forever. and nearly 100% of the time it's askr siblings#idk i also just think it sucks. that you need to have 'valid' reasons to explore certain subjects#which firstly require you to be a victim and secondly requires you to be a perfect victim.#which puts people in terrible spots where like. what is this a confession booth. i wasn't even cathlolic. get OUT of here!!!!#sorry i still have a lot of Feelings. about it. and ultimately that's what it is. i have a lot of very intense Feelings#they are my own. to protect. to process. i don't want to get confrontational about it. that's stupid.#already this feels like a confession of guilt. is it the christianity? is it the way some online spaces just Are?#i don't know. all i know is i want to make art. it means so much to me. to say what i need to say.#and to be heard. that's been the craziest part. all these things i've been terrified of. but sometimes. i'm heard.#idk idk idk. no more emotional vulnerability. ass hurt. done.
6 notes · View notes
bugsinshoes · 1 month ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
you know when a movie is so bad its almost comically good? yeah well i just watched space guardians 2 and it's just that. also emphasis on almost. i needed to take a mental break every 10 minutes. anyways go watch it now it's so funny (live reaction under the cut)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
5 notes · View notes
bisaster-energy · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
yu yu hakusho is really fun
9 notes · View notes
bedlamsbard · 1 year ago
Text
Now I'm just mad and that makes me sad. :/ I really do try incredibly hard not to hate things in this fandom, which doesn't always work out because, you know, feelings, and I don't want to think about hating things! I want to think about things I like!
9 notes · View notes
dirtbra1n · 2 years ago
Text
I’m feeling regular today Whos going to answer for this
Tumblr media Tumblr media
34 notes · View notes