#getting 10 people from different fandoms was incredibly challenging

[the-hurdy-gurdy-man]

tagged by @hoshimagico ‼️

rules: list your ten favorite characters from ten separate fandoms, and then tag ten people! (yes. separate. orz)

The first half are characters who are my type, the second half are characters who on some aspect, I identify with, but beyond that, these are not in particular order, since a lot of these fandoms I am no longer active in (or just like this one character)

Itadori Yuuji (Jujutsu Kaisen)

Kyle Broflovski (South Park)

Trafalgar Law (One Piece)

Waver Velvet (Fate/Zero)

Kamado Tanjiro (Kimetsu no Yaiba)

Hiiro Amagi (Ensemble Stars!!)

Grian (Hermitcraft)

Itoshi Rin (Blue Lock)

Makima (Chainsaw Man)

Komaeda Nagito (Danganronpa 2)

gonna tag anyone I can think off off the top of my head??? let's see. Of course this is optional 👍👍 only do if you want!

@sleepyblessing @saechisei @distortedwhite @letheldosage @monarchbatz @kitkatkatjes @metanoeins

[stovetoast]

pillow tpot headcanons (long ramble expanding on the ocd part under the cut)

ok so first warning: i am not a psychiatrist. this isnt a super educated essay on ocd, just me projecting my lived experience onto an object show character. this is just an observation. if i get something wrong feel free to correct me, ill add it here. (its also worth noting i am self diagnosed. not "quick google search" self dx though, ive gone over it with a therapist and everything)

and that leads into the second warning: this ramble will get a tad bit personal sorryyyy

and finally the third warning: i put she/it on the ref but im just using she/her for simplicity (+ i forgot LOL(

anyway so yeah i think that pillow has ocd and is basically the embodiment of "letting intrusive thoughts win" except like. actually. this headcanon didnt stem from the killing or the strange impulses though, i think she has it because of her fixation on good and bad luck in tpot 10.

for me it manifests in a few different ways. my main one is counting—i have good luck numbers and bad luck numbers. i need to take a specific number of snacks every time i have a bowl of them. i have to shake medicine bottles a certain amount of times before taking them. i am always counting the "syllables" of whatever im doing, and it always has to land on a multiple/factor of my lucky number. and if i break any of this, i (generally, if i cant convince myself its fine or if i dont notice) have to count to my lucky number otherwise something bad will happen. hell, i added more flags to this ref because the number of them was my unlucky number.

i have a few other things that affect it that are completely unrelated to counting, though. like a particularly bad one is that i straight up cant wear certain articles or clothing anymore because theyre bad luck. or my ungodly long night routine (which is probably more of an autism thing tbh. but certain parts of it are absolutely influenced by the ocd, like having to say goodnight to my dog).

that ^^ is what i saw in pillow. she was distraught that her team lost in 9, because not only did she think she was doing the challenge right, but killing people (bringing death) was good luck for her.

i think her killing people was a compulsion, and her whole thing in 10 was her scrambling to find a new one after that stopped working.

and before anyone tries to be all like "oh thats fucked up why would they portray ocd like that," one: i dont think this was on purpose this was just an observation, two: i mean..... fuck dude if i lived in a world where revival was incredibly accessible and one of my compulsions were to kill people, id do the same thing. death is fairly normal in bfdi, to the point everyone literally has a kill count on the fandom wiki (hers is 13 as of tpot 11 btw, a commonly unlucky number ironically enough. if she gets eliminated in 12 with an unlucky kill count thatd be so funny). once they get past the pain, its. really just an inconvenience to them.

when it comes to ocd, you. HAVE to do these things. its not a choice until you can get some outside help with it, and oftentimes its an inconvenience to those around you. i dont think its right for her to be going around killing her team, but when i get past the fact that is literally what made her my favorite, i get where shes coming from. shes trying to help in a way she "knows" will work.

or maybe shes just silly idk

[jpegsthatmove]

I just gotta say, I understand why people are upset. And I was disappointed! But the longer I think about it, like, the choices have really not mattered that much from game to game. The biggest example of a choice mattering is if Stroud shows up for you in Inquisition, because it dramatically changes the narrative stakes of the choice around him.

Ultimately, large chunks of Origins got retconned, big events of DA2 weren’t really addressed at all, and it’s been 10 years. The new audience isn’t going to HAVE those choices, their weight, their context. But also, the number of significantly impactful choices to the political makeup of Thedas the player had in Inquisition is high and could be radically different. If they acknowledge even just the most obvious choices then they are locked into creating a Canon way to play inquisition (an important side note for those who weren’t there, people were extremely not happy about the fact that DA Keep had a default world state)- to avoid that, you have to let the ramifications happen off screen except for the choices that have the most direct and immediate impact on the action of the story (which has been centered around Solas from the jump).

And I get that people still wanted their little throwaway lines and cameos, but I think the challenge with the idea of “choices matter” is that after 15 years and three triple a games, there’s too many potential combinations and conflicts for the logistics. It might just be a line or two to acknowledge each choice, but someone has to write, record, animate, code, debug those lines.

And maybe there’s a way to do it, but not for a game that’s been restarted from scratch three times and a dwindling team at a studio that corporate ownership is actively gutting. They’re in a lose lose situation, and they had to make a choice about what will make the best experience for the most people, not just the small group of diehards (of which I am one!!).

I think it’s incredibly common for fandoms to become myopic about decisions that aren’t their preference. Just because you’re disappointed doesn’t mean it was the wrong move.

Like, if you want bespoke narrative choices in a living world that build on each other over time go play a table top game tbh, recreate all your blorbos in 5e no one can stop you. there is no way for a mass market video game product to perfectly perform to that expectation

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is: Afewproblems! @afewproblems has 17 fics in the Stranger Things fandom and 16 of them are in the Steddie tag!

Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by @afewproblems:

The World is Upside Down (The King has Lost his Crown)

You Can Only Remember What You Want To Forget

A Quiet Confession

Essential Songs to Woo a Metal Head

A Clear and Present Threat of Tongue

"I love Linz and her writing. Even though she's not as active as she once was, I think she should still be celebrated. As a fandom, we tend stop interacting with authors when they aren't actively making fic, and that's disheartening." -- Anonymous

Below the cut, @afewproblems answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

I love the ship! I think it’s mostly to do with the characters and the romantic archetypes they represent. You have two people from different worlds, different social stratas, and completely different personalities that still find common ground in one another. It’s Grease, Wuthering Heights, Titanic -these characters not only balance one another out, but they challenge one another to rethink their preconceived notions about the other. Plus, for that one forrest scene in the Upsidedown to have inspired an entire ship and fanon about these two - chefs kiss, 10/10.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

Oh there are so many! For Steddie specifically though, I really like reading stories that explore the fanon around Steve’s not so great childhood. I process a lot of my own stuff through fan works so reading about Steve going through the same thing and managing to create his own found family and finding love hits hard in the best way.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

Hmm I don't know if it's so much a trope as it would be considered a genre for fan fiction but I love to write hurt/comfort and angst -angst is my bread and butter! Nothing better than putting your blorbo in an emotionally fraught state and then having someone hold them for a little while.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

I could be honest, I could be human by GerryStAmour. The angst, top notch, the descriptions are so well done! The writing is so great, please check Gerry out as a writer, his works are incredible! I also really love the Cousin!AU by @strangersteddierthings her work is absolutely incredible, please check her stuff out!!

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

Hmm Possibly soulmates I think or soulmarks would be very cool!

What is your writing process like?

So i’ll normally get an idea and kind of turn it around in my head over and over until I can't stop thinking about it and have to get it on the page. Then the snippet or scene will begin to grow and take on more of a life of its own, it's like ‘okay this scene is great, but how did we get here’ kind of thing, that makes me want to flesh out the idea which in turn makes the story and characters expand and grow. I never plot out the whole story before starting, I let it grow from a starting point and let the story kind of take the direction that it needs to go in.

Do you have any writing quirks?

I typically write with Steve as the main character going through as much pain as possible!

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

I try to get a few chapters written out before I post my fic, I find it a bit easier to keep myself motivated that way. I don't think I'd be able to keep up with a schedule.

Which fic are you most proud of?

I'm definitely proud of all of them but I think the first Steddie fic that I spent several months on, Warm My Cold and Tired Heart, is still one that I am incredibly proud of and really happy with how it turned out. It was my big jumping off point for the rest of my fics and love for the pairing - which is another point in it's favour!

How did you get the idea for You Can Only Remember What You Want To Forget?

It was inspired by a blend of two prompts in an ask from the awesome @zerokrox-blog “Things you forgot to say and things you were forced to say”. The prompt was a challenge to mix but I wanted to have one prompt reflect Eddie and the other reflect Steve. Eddie forgot to tell Steve the truth and Steve was forced to simply react. The story completely took on a life of its own after that though and quickly snowballed!

When writing You Can Only Remember What You Want To Forget, what was something you didn’t expect?

The table! It was a bit of a throwaway line about the Hellfire club noticing the crack and worrying that they damaged the table, only for it to culminate in Eddie’s apology and confession to Steve when he fixed it. Probably one of the best little ‘Setup’ and ‘Payoff’ moments I’ve ever attempted.

What inspired A Quiet Confession?

This was also inspired by a ask prompt that came in from an anonymous user, ‘You weren't supposed to hear that’. i loved the angst potential of someone saying just how much you love someone, while worrying they don't feel the same for you. Juxtaposing that with the intimacy that normally comes with napping with you partner and you have A Quiet Confession.

What was your favorite part to write from A Clear and Present Threat of Tongue?

Definitely the confession scene. The whole fic was based on the episode from New Girl where Jess and Nick kiss for the very first time and I loved writing down the garbled speech that Nick says when he stumbles over his words. I just had to give that to Eddie - it fit way too well!

How do/did you feel writing Essential Songs to Woo a Metal Head?

I was excited to explore the idea of Eddie completely distrusting Steve and his intentions, which would be fair for the 80s ya know? Why would Eddie believe that a jock and former prom king was being sincere with him, but having Eddie make this mistake and having to turn to the classic 80s rom-com trope of the grand gesture -I loved it! Having Eddie use music the same way that Steve did to confess his feelings originally? I was super happy that it came back around, full circle. (I also worked pretty hard on the music choices for Steve's mixtape so I am so happy people liked this one!)

What was the most difficult part of writing The World is Upside Down (The King has Lost his Crown)?

There were several difficult parts with writing this story, one was figuring out which scenes from the show should be included or left out for the story to make sense and still flow nicely. I didn’t want to spend too much time rewriting scenes to fit the canon divergence but at the same time there were several important scenes that needed to remain in the story for Eddie to specifically react to. Handling Nancy’s character was also difficult but very rewarding. I don’t hate Nancy as a character but I do find her challenging to write. I didn’t want to paint her as a villain either, she cares for Steve greatly but they couldn’t be what the other needed. It was hard to do her character justice but it was really rewarding to get her right - in my opinion.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

I think the scene where Steve smashes the plate in You Can Only Remember What You Want To Forget is up there for me in terms of one of my favourite scenes. Having Steve just completely breakdown, feeling like he's not in control of himself and how frightening that is. It was cool to explore these incredibly intense emotions and having both Robin and Eddie be there to help him process these feelings without looking at him any differently was so so important. It showcased how Robin and Eddie are the two people that Steve could trust with his darkest moments and still love him. Ugh! Still love it so much!

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

Oh! I do have a new project that I am working on, I shared a small snippet a few weeks ago but I will be very excited to share the first part soon. It is a Season Three AU exploring what might have happened if Steve and Eddie met in Starcourt mall that fateful summer of 1985. I’ve also been doing some writing for the Psych fandom to get back into writing after a long dry spell, it’s been pretty fun to explore those characters as well!

Thank you to our author, @afewproblems, and our anonymous nominator! See more of Afewproblems's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[poisonedspider]

Casual random happy day post from Strode. I post one of these every so often, but I've gotten a TON of new followers since the last time I did this, sooooo.

This is just a random thank you. To all of you. And I think, after last night's discussions about OCs, that's what motivates me to post this right now. Thank you all for bringing your characters to life. Whether you have 10 followers or 1000 followers, you are all brilliant writers, and I am so blessed to get to create stories with all of you.

Thank you for accepting my little slut of a son. I know that he's over the top (I'd apologize for all the horny posting but I am not sorry). I know that I don't hold back with him, I'm incredibly raw, and that his trauma and quite honestly terrible attachment disorders can be incredibly challenging to handle and see on the dash. So thank you for accepting him, on every level, including the very very broken that I tend to write and explore.

I don't lie when I say this is my happy space. Are there things that can be hard in the rpc? Of course. I had someone the other day tell me "I have no interest in writing with you, nothing personal", and that hurt like a bitch. I get really in my head and paranoid about what the heck I must have done wrong when people I've never spoken to have me blocked. I get duplicate anxiety, and get sad when I see that my Angel might not be noticed by (insert person here) because they already have their own Angel. I think this is incredibly normal. We are, after all, still human behind these characters.

But this IS my happy space. I cannot even tell you how much I adore you guys. How my favorite part of the day is bed time, because that is when I get to go in my room and finally do some writing. I can't wait to have my surgery in two months because I'll be on bedrest and all I can do is write. I love all the threads I have. The ships. How each take on each character is so different, and therefore how they interact with Angel is different as well.

I love that you all support me in my head canons and my chaos. That (again, for the most part, I know we aren't perfect) this is the most supportive and uplifting community I have been in. Quoting one of my favorite films: "I want to run towards something, not away." For once, I am running, and it's to this rpc every day. Seeing what's happening on the dash. Commenting and supporting one another. Being silly while being serious. I don't have to run away anymore, like I have in past fandoms. I get to enjoy my time here.

And that's all because of you guys. So thank you for being wonderful. Thank you for existing. And if you've been doubting your part in the rpc, or questioning if you make a difference being here - you do. You matter. If I follow you, if I write with you, if I admire you from afar, you matter. You are my happiness. You are my hope. You are the completion of my heart. So thank you.

[mxanigel]

10 some # of characters | 10 some # of fandoms | 10 a negotiable number of tags

thank you for the tag beloved @poetikat <3 <3 <3

1) Hange Zoe + Levi Ackerman -- Attack on Titan. (They're a unit to me, okay?) Hange is an energetic ruthless clever jovial skilled enby who has captured my whole heart. Levi is crude and harsh and strong, someone who needs and deserves love AND HE WILL GET IT.

2) Beatrice the Golden Witch -- Umineko When They Cry. My ultimate "I support women's wrongs" character. Queerqueerqueerqueerqueer. I can't explain too much because MASSIVE SPOILERS but she is everything. ahahaha.wav (Her Japanese voice actress is freaking incredible.)

3) Renne Bright -- The Legend of Heroes series. My beloved Angel of Slaughter. What you've been through. How you've fallen. How you've gotten back up. How you've faced the demons of your past and the unexpected family in your present. You're loved for who you are, not what you could have been, and that's one of the most precious things I've ever seen.

4) Lloyd Bannings -- The Legend of Heroes series. I don't know where to start with this guy. I love him. I know I'm cheating by not choosing a different fandom here (even though he was introduced in a different game from Renne), but he is MY BOY. He sees the good in people and ensures that his actions are driven by evidence and truly cares about those around him. Part of my inspiration for OC Shion Miller tbh.

5) Toothless -- How to Train Your Dragon. Flying black cat who breathes fire. 'nuf said. :D

6) Mara Jade -- Star Wars. Female Force-using badass with a lightsaber and a dark background and red hair and falls for Luke and and and AUGH. She is why I fell for the Expanded Universe. She is why I fell out of love with Star Wars when Disney made those novels not canon. I still love Star Wars. I just can't engage the same way I used to.

7) Qifrey -- Witch Hat Atelier. I'm not even four volumes into this breathtakingly-drawn manga but this man provides one of THE best examples of a mentor-mentee relationship that I've ever seen in fiction. He sees his apprentices as individual, unique humans each with different strengths and different needs. And he teaches them magic in line with those strengths and those needs. While acknowledging that they're human and don't need to be perfect. He's the kind of mentor I want to be to my students.

8) Saeki Sayaka -- Bloom Into You. Oh girl. You deserve the world. And yet you fell for a girl who would ultimately fall for someone else. Despite all the things you did for her. It's fine. You're fine. You'll be okay. You'll find someone new. Who will love you and challenge you and and and I JUST LOVE HER ARC OKAY?

9) Anora Mac Tir -- Dragon Age. Queen. I love Loghain and she loves Loghain and SHE STANDS UP TO HIM. Yet her behavior UNDERSTANDABLY changes depending on whether the Warden spares her father. She deserves the world and more.

10) Ashley Williams + Kaidan Alenko -- Mass Effect. The one-or-the-other Virmire survivors (someday I may install the mod that enables both to live. SOMEDAY). I've romanced them with different Shepards. I've had those Shepards rekindle their relationships post-Horizon or never try. They're amazing wonderful nuanced characters who deserve more love.

Honorary mention: Lae'zel, Shadowheart, and Karlach from Baldur's Gate 3. I'm still in Act 2. There's so much I still don't know about these women. But I love them and I will defend them until I'm out of breath. And someday I will get to know Minthara and fall hard for her too.

no-pressure tagging @saraptor @spindleweedss @mxkelsifer @milesmentis @blightcaller @druckkugelschreiber @nightingalesighs @korblez @dr-paine @captastra @perhapsrampancy @socially-awkward-skeleton @valiantvillain and anyone else who might like to play~

[autisticwriterblog]

I was tagged by @pintsizeninja. Thanks for tagging me!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2345. That's what happens when you've been posting since 2016 and don't study or have a job for health reasons so you've got nothing better to do than write fic. 😂

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

2,682,156 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently it's Alan Wake and Control, with occasional dips into Dishonored and sports anime like Haikyuu.

4. Top five fics by kudos

All of these are old (like over 6 years old) and I'm not that proud of most of them (especially the HP one because fuck it). But they're popular for some reason, so here they are!

Healer - My Hero Academia

The Boggart - Harry Potter

NSFW OTP Challenge: Erasermic - My Hero Academia

"Keep breathing." - My Hero Academia

The Date - My Hero Academia

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try my best to, because I really appreciate every comment I get.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Let's stick with Remedyverse fics for this question. In that case... I'll pick:

Five Times Ilmo Hugged his Brother (and the Time he Didn’t) - because for spoiler reasons, we all know why Ilmo doesn't hug Jaakko at the end. It's otherwise a fluffy or hurt/comfort fic until the end and then bam! Angst!

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, sticking with just my Remedy stuff... let's go with:

The First Step is Always the Hardest - from my Ahti/Norman series.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have done in the past, to the point I've needed to block them on ao3. Just the other day, I got a transphobic hate comment on an old fic. Luckily, it hasn't happened with my current fandoms.

9. Do you write smut?

Quite often, yeah.

10. Craziest crossover?

It's more an AU than a proper crossover, but recently I wrote an Alan Wake fic set in a Zero Escape AU.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

A few times, yeah. It was super flattering to be approached with the offer to translate my fics!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, and I'm not sure I'd want to.

14. All time favourite ship?

All time? Hmm... let's go with my faves for my current fandoms, plus a few I've written a lot for in the past/think about a lot:

Ahti/Norman MacDonald - Alan Wake (my incredibly niche rarepair that I love a lot)

Jesse Faden/Emily Pope - Control

Amity Blight/Luz Noceda - The Owl House

Micah Bell/Arthur Morgan - Red Dead Redemption (I like enemies-to-lovers and redeeming utterly hateful characters lol)

Kozume Kenma/Hinata Shouyou - Haikyuu

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I've got a half-written oneshot for Critical Role somewhere in my drafts that I never finished. It's about a character getting hit with the Feeblemind spell and the others looking after him.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I'm good at dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I really struggle with fight scenes.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

If the character drops dialogue in a different language in canon, it only makes sense to do it in fic too. Case in point: the amount of Finnish idioms and swear words I've learned because of Ahti.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

This would've been way back in 2012 when I was 13. On fanfiction.net, I posted (really cringy) fics about The A-Team.

Although, techinically, the first time I wrote a fic was when I was 6. I didn't know other people did it and I certainly didn't share it. But I've got an old story (and illustrations) in a notebook from like 2005 when I wrote about Charlie and Lola, a British kid's show.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Just sticking with Remdyverse again... currently I'd choose:

Episode - part of my autistic Odin series. It's angsty, but also has lots of protectiveness from Tor and Bob being a good friend. i just really like writing about the Old Gods at the moment and I'm especially proud of this one.

Tagging: @quailfence, @koskela-knights, @taniushka12, @hamyheikki and anyone else who wants to do this!

[banannabethchase]

✨Fic Writing Review 2023✨

Tagged by the lovely @aidaronan

Gonna put all this under a cut as it is a doozy. Me? Rambling? It's just as likely as you'd think from the everything about me.

Words and Fics

497,498 words published on ao3 (Jesus fucking Christ - that doesn't even count my ficlets)

101 fics published on AO3

Enough tumblr ficlets that I don't have the spoons to go back and count them all

3 in-progress fics that may or may not be in the yeeted into purgatory sometime soon

3 new fics in permanent purgatory

1 new fic that I killed within 500 words

9 series created/added to

Top 3 by kudos

Hungry Heart - HangMox, AEW

[tie between] Intrigue - HangMoxMatt, AEW and A Convenient Cancellation - HangMox, AEW

I Can't Promise Forever (But I'm Working On It) - HangMox, AEW

(Realizing now that holy cow do my HangMox fics do better than I thought. Also all of those were published before I put my account on lockdown, I think, so that contributes as well.)

Fandom Events in 2023

Threecount Exchange! I mean, it kicked in this year. Everything gets published and finished next year, but still, it counts!

Upcoming Projects

Threecount Exchange fic (no you will not get details mwahaha)

The final installment of the House of Black Magic series, which is also my final square on my Bingo Board

Days 10-31 of the December Prompt Challenge I for some reason made for myself, which includes the finale of a series (I shan't disclose which)

At least 4 more installments in the Matt Experiments universe

The teacher's AU I've been putting off for about a year

Writing reflection

What a frickin' year. I haven't been in a fandom like this since Scorpion which, for those who know, ended poorly for both the whole fandom and me as a person. I was unable to watch the season 4 premiere due to my Dad's death, and then it got cancelled before I could catch up. Jumping back into a fandom head first, after how miserable my last one ended, was scary but incredible.

I beat NaNoWriMo 3 times in one year for the first time since 2016. I wrote two novella length fics and a novel length fic from December 2022 until now. I've made friends with incredible people, learned how to use tumblr in a way that keeps me safe, and learned that I've grown past the person I was when I let other people drive me out of a fandom for writing fic in a way I enjoyed and being autistic. I feel safe in this fandom, not for the lack of drama (lord knows there's plenty of it), but because I've created for myself a space where I know I can trust the people I follow.

I am excited to vault headfirst into 2024. I have no predictions. I have no expectations. I just have hope, and I think that's enough.

But I really do hope I can keep writing, even if it's at a different pace from 2023.

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please do eat glass, I’ve heard it’s good for your gums.

Tagging [please view the rules! I think they are great rules!!! Except the glass thing, don't chew glass. If you don't want to do this, please feel free to ignore completely]: @sarahcakes613, @booboo-eyedbambi, @scissormedaddyass, @rosabellebelieve, @anairbri. As always, if you see this and want to try it, I tagged you :) (And if you don't want to do this, pretend I didn't tag you.)

[marirey17]

So my goal for this year is to get back into writing again. Several things last year kinda of made me realize that the fact that I have trouble with writing isn't not a me problem. It is just how writing is. And that I should give it a try again. So I am going to give it a more serious try. Now the problem of what to fucking write.

Sure I could finish the WIP from years ago but I am not really in that fandom anymore. Maybe one day I will pick it up again. But instead I am just going to write down some ideas here. From one my notebook of fanfic ideas. I should find my other one that has more fic ideas in it.

In no particular order lets go.

Percy De Rolo being pen pals with Anne Riply- I always imagine that the bit of Percy life that we saw in the campaign/show was the cleaner version of the events. I am full conspiracy theory that Percy was closer to Riply before murders. It never really made since that the Briarwoods just somehow got a dinner invitation to a very influenational noble family like the DeRolo's. It makes sense that they planned on how to inflitrate. Corrupting a tree from inside. The betrayel of incredibly smart Percy who feels left out of the family. He isn't the heir, he isn't particulary worldly, or physically strong. He is the smart one. Enter Anne who at first is just humoring then goes 'oh shit' he is smart and tries to corrupt him. Lots of ways this can go. Percy whump is one of my favorite things to read. This is probably only going to be pre canon.

Percy Seven Swans AU - I love the seven swans myth. So family cursed instead of murdered. Definitely not canon. Orthax requireing Percy to make Automatons? Chain mail, Mech hearts? Or resisdium stuff.

CR Campaign 2 Avatar Au - This is so bare boned in my book. All I have is Cad being bullied and a few elements assigned to people. So pass not gonna do this one.

CR Campaign 2 Soc Media AU- Yeaaa noooo I like Soc Media au. But this has even less than the avatar au. Just premise no prompts. Also modern au's are hard for me to write.

CR Campaign 2 - Caleb is a prince of the Dwendalian Empire. This is a headcannon that I have. But it doesn't make much since for Trent to be as obessed with Caleb as he is. Sure Caleb is a flawed prodigy. But to keep him alive for 10 years in a mental ward instead of killing him? Why do that? Makes more sense if Caleb is an illegiatment prince of the Dwendal family. The current heir is a miltary man right? Makes since he might have children out of wedlock. And his wife is looking for a cure to her fertility problems. What better than a prince you have under your thumb? The Cerberus Assembly is a shadow goverment already. But thats it that all my thoughts. And it would have to be a long fic to do it any justice. There are a lot of Royalty AU's in CR2. But most of them have someone else as the Royal. I also like the idea of Caleb becoming King then abdicating and making a democracy.

Next in old Journal is prompts from a year old Whumptober month. So lets see if there are any gems there.

Kaladin Stormblessed having stitches overgrown from stormlight. Ouch.

Sandry fa Toren from Circle of Magic- dealing with isolation. I think sandry has the hardest time connecting with people. Being a noble and having her friends be away all those years. She doesn't fit easily in noble society and the working class isn't at ease with her.

Midorya from MHA - dealing with chronic pain and challenges from all the injuries he has. This is a possibilty but I am so out of the MHA fandom.

Luffy from One Piece - Rubber has got to changed your sense of touch right? Probably dulls it. No wonder luffy glomps on people if all everything is muted.

2 different Log Horizon fic ideas! - Shiroe was in the game for much longer than anyone else. No wonder he is well known. People think he is an npc but he was just there for longer. And second idea Log Horizon Soulmate idea. The other world just has soulmates. Shiroe and Akasuki. I would have to refresh my knowledge of that fandom.

Hopefully this gets my wheels turning. Also anyone is welcome to grab these ideas and run with them.

[bleachbleachbleach]

6/10 - 6/16/2024

Look who made it into the 70s!

One of my goals for this week was to wake up and write first thing in the morning, and get Fanfic Time and a session of Work Stuff done before 9am. The success of this gradually diminished over the course of the week, though, because said success was dependent upon waking up early enough to make this happen, which got harder and harder as the week progressed and I got more and more tired.

I also did modly stuff for a challenge I run in a different fandom. The challenge has been running since 2007 and I’ve participated every year since 2010, which means this will be my fifteenth year! FIFTEEN!! I’m pretty proud of the milestone. In any case, I have a prompt set to fulfill for that this summer. I did not even bother looking at it yet, because if someone is struggling with their prompts and needs alternates, the mods usually offer theirs. In an ideal world, I’ll finish Rukia 10 then take a short break for that.

As far as Rukia 10's overarching premise goes—I know I said that the new version of Rukia 10 was going to make me like Rukia 15 more, but I think really what it does is expand things that aren’t my preference (but do appear to be the fic’s preference) in Rukia 15 so that they’re ALSO in Rukia 10. I dunno how I feel about that. Well, I know how I feel—that it’s cheap and gauche—but I don’t know if that assertion is true or not.

Another challenge is that Rukia is having a crisis about four different people at the same time, which was not planned and is proving difficult to juggle all at once. But this might be fine, because I feel like Rukia might also feel like having a crisis about four different people at the same is itself a crisis. She’s having a crisis about Kaien because although she felt like she’d achieved some closure after Hueco Mundo, it turns out that if the one person who witnessed Kaien’s death with her also dies, all bets are off! She’s having a crisis about Ukitake because he’s dead—but also because there are a lot of conversations they never got to have, and some of them were about fights for life or honor, and what was that. She’s having a crisis about Renji because [redacted, there’s like three reasons], and also Ichigo because

It had felt very adult, pushing Ichigo out and watching the Senkaimon take him. It had felt incredibly right and incredibly wrong. It had felt like Kurosaki Ichigo is seventeen years old. It had felt like—he was owed a life more than he was owed this story, maybe.

“I would tell Ichigo about this,” Rukia decides.   “Ichigo?” Muguruma quirks an eyebrow. “Why would he wanna know? Hasn’t he heard enough from this place for the next, I dunno, eternity?”

“So he knows we’re okay. There hasn’t been a shinigami in the Living World in months. I don’t want it to feel like—”   Like before. Like those seventeen long months. But maybe it doesn’t. Maybe as long as Kurosaki Ichigo is among ghosts, and among all the difference pieces of what’s inside him, then it could never feel like that, regardless of whether Rukia is one of those ghosts or not.

Still, she doesn’t want it to feel like they abandoned him. Like they used him, and then abandoned him, though that is exactly what they did. But it would be worse still for him to know too much about Soul Society, Soul Society and its stupid problems and the streets that aren’t fixed yet and the fields, still burning somehow, and the fact that they still don’t know for sure exactly who is alive and who is dead. They don’t even know when they will know, or if they will ever know.   If she told him about this trip, maybe it could be her way of telling him that Soul Society will not just be the story of the Thousand-Year Blood War, forever. They’ll keep going. They’re capable of other stories, and they will be okay.

“I’d tell him we went camping,” Rukia replies airily. “There was a vending machine! And a large beach.”   “So you’d lie. That’s exactly how you tell people you’re okay.”   “All of that is true!”

[so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed]

2022 in writing

It's not quite the end of the year yet and I have two more stories coming out, but I figured I'd get on this and look back on this past year of writing! I'm going to include the 2 unpublished fics in my statistics, because I have them both finished even if they aren't posting just yet!

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 17 (-1 from last year)

2. Word count posted for the year: 239154

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction, Zayn Malik

4. Pairings: Louis/Harry, Liam/Zayn, Louis/Zayn, Liam/Louis,

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: now you're in my life (I can't get you off my mind) [398]

Bookmarks: now you're in my life (I can't get you off my mind) [291]

Comment threads: there now, steady love (so few come and don't go) [82]

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): I put a lot of myself into Now you're in my life and I am really proud of the feedback it got and the way it made people feel seen.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): I'm proud of everything I've written this year! I think I have a great mix of works and I am happy with everything I've posted.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: I got a few absolutely amazing comments on Now you're in my life, that brought me to tears. I think one of my favorite ones said is this what representation feels like?? and I think that really says it all.

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: The entire year, to be honest. From about April on everything just seemed to happen all at once, and I didn't get to write at all in May. Coming back from that was hard, and the same went for November, in which life was just incredibly busy. Coming back to my big bang after that was a real struggle.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: My characters tend to always go their own way with no respect for my outline, but I think one of my favourite things I've written this year is LiLo. It was my first time writing this pairing and it surprised me that I could actually see it work in a romantic setting.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

Harry smiles wryly at that. “Don’t let the Pride Committee hear you. We’re all supposed to be proud of our sexuality, don’t you know that?”

Part of him wants to turn around, see the look on Louis’ face, but he’s not quite ready to do that, to be seen when he’s barely able to hold it together. “Is that what you mean when you say you’re broken?” He can hear the frown on Louis’ face make way for understanding, hears the quietly whispered oh as he realises what Harry has yet to put into words to anyone else. “Baby, are you ace?”

Harry isn’t sure what he feels more overwhelmed by, the fact that Louis so casually calls him baby - as though Harry’s given him a right to - or that he puts Harry’s struggle into words so easily, without the kind of contempt in his inflection that Harry would’ve had if he’d been the one to claim that label out loud.

He bites his lip, part of him wanting to turn around and hide his face against Louis’ neck, but they’re definitely not close enough for Harry to scent him, even when Louis smells lovely and comforting. “So you get it now,” he whispers hollowly, his fingers still around Louis’ wrist, Louis’ arms still around him though Harry can’t help but wonder for how much longer. “You get why I’m broken.”

13. How do you hope to grow next year: I've done a lot of things to challenge myself this year (write a new pairing, write different tropes) and I hope to continue that next year with my first ever Zouiam fic. I also hope to be able to write regularly and stay a bit more on top of answering comments, since it's definitely not been happening as often as I want. Aside from that, I just hope I'm able to continue making people feel things.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): I am still so incredibly fond of the amazing Sixt (@foullovehideout) who has been an absolute gem this year. I also really appreciate everyone I've met through the @writerscornercafe server. And as always @jacaranda-bloom and @lululawrence are so wonderful to chat fic to and write with. And I've also really enjoyed getting to know the wonderful Raf, who has definitely been a soundboard these past months! @beardyboyzx you're a wonderful soul and I adore you!

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: The first thing that comes to mind is the bartender that Louis was based off of in serve me up a little hope on the rocks. And as always, my identity is a huge part of some of the fics I write, so any aro or acespec characters have a bit of me in them.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: Last year's advice is still so true: You don’t improve your fics by waiting until you’re good enough to write them. Write that story. It’s the only way to get to where you want to go!

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I just got matched with my artist for the @onedirectionbigbang so I am super excited to work with them and make this story truly come to life! Aside from that, I'm participating in the @zouisfics fest and I hope to write the advent fic that me and @evilovesyou didn't get to write this year. Other than that, I'm going to see what fests come my way!

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read. This is my chance to tag all of the lovely writers in the @writerscornercafe! Be proud of all you did this year, you're such wonderful people! Aside from that (and there might be overlap) I'm tagging @cyantific @neondiamond @londonfoginacup @lululawrence @allwaswell16 @jacaranda-bloom and @beardyboyzx

[kitkatpancakestack]

2022 writing review

I know it's 2023 now but only, like, barely, so it still counts.

Tagged by @ttimbradford and @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels i love you both so MUCH MWAH! <3

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: LMAOO considering I didn't start posting fic until late 2021 like basically all of my fics were posted this (last) year so: 17

2. Word count posted for the year: 201,629 (for serious?!?!?)

3. Fandoms I wrote for: 9-1-1

4. Pairings: buck/eddie, chimney & co., Hen & her Cake Guy

5. Story with the most: 

kudos: Despite it all, Because of it all - 1,511

bookmarks: Despite it all, Because of it all - 622

comment threads: Breathe - 202

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): Wait for me there was the longest fic I've written and gave me the most anguish. I wanted to do a good job with the au aspect while also making the characters true to their voices, and the style of the fic was something new for me. It was so frigging challenging but I'm very happy with the way it turned out.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): I won't use the word "proud," because I'm proud of everything I have written in some capacity, but I guess the work I am least fond of would be Sit with me in the dark. It was pretty well-received but idk, it just never felt like I was able to produce the writing that I wanted for it.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

Nothing specific, but Dev, I always deeply appreciate your reviews, so thoughtful and kind, ily

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: Right now! It is excruciating to get words on a page, and it's incredibly disheartening, so it is something I'm really going to try to work on and make time for in the new year

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Eddie's breakdown in How Beautifully We Fall. I was just sort of plodding along with the fic, and suddenly I was like, "Oh, I'm going to make this man have a whole entire nervous breakdown," and it's one of my favorite scenes I've written.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: umm how about:

This one is from the home inside my chest, my chimney-centric fic, one that is so very close to my heart:

“Everybody has a home inside their chest, and some people have a little one-story ranch house, while other people have sprawling mansions that are always under construction. Everybody you meet who becomes special to you gets a room, whether you move them in or not.” Hen looks at him, lips pulling up in a smile. “I think you need to move Kevin out of that box in your head and into the home in your chest.”

I was also very proud of this part in Hold on, Let go

It was fear.

Stripped down to its bare bones, it was fear. There wasn’t anything deep or insightful or poetic about it. Buck was scared and Eddie was scared and they were too broken to try and be scared together.

So—

The fear: that love exists in dark corners even if you don’t believe it should grow there,

The fear: that it finds you even if you don’t think you deserve it,

The fear: that love begins and ends and begins again and ends again,

The fear: that sometimes love isn’t enough,

The fear: that sometimes it is.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: Allowing myself to write what I want even if it's heavy and angsty, exploring different voices and stylistic choices.

13. How do you hope to grow next year: I don't know! I guess we'll see. Hopefully it will involve writing and not just staring at an empty google doc :D

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc): oh man, all the support you guys give is so amazing and really drives me to be better and sit down to write. shoutout to @ttimbradford @eddiediass @hetrez @rewritetheending @yramesoruniverse and I know I'm missing some of y'all, but whether it was your supportive words, hashing out character points or plot ideas, or just being an ear, I have so appreciated you <3

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: I am in everything I write

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: the best thing you can do is just sit down and start. Whether you're new to writing or in a slump or it's been a while. Be a writer and not an editor; allow yourself to just spill words on a page and forget about if they're the right words or in the correct order or if it sounds good. Just write. Write about anything. Write in any tense you want. Be goofy, be serious, be dramatic, be heavy. Just write.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I have a Lucy Chen-centric fic I'm working on! It's really gotten me back into writing. Hoping I'll be able to write some more buddie as well

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: It's late so i'll throw it to anyone who wants to participate! Please say I tagged you and go for it. Love ya'll, and thanks for the support <3

[mako-mahko]

This is based on a possibly controversial reading of Ed that was brilliantly explained by this post by @chuplayswithfire- it’s a very nice read and made me realize what I am going to talk about in here. 

Something which I find incredibly interesting, especially in the era of queer media being dominated by teenage and young adult love stories, is how the readings of queer characters and storylines have been seemingly skewed by the existence of coming-of-age stories. This, along with the possible absence of knowledge about code-switching as mentioned in the post above, could possibly be an explanation for why certain reads of the OFMD characters seem incongruent for what is seen in the show. This is most prevalent for Ed and Izzy, two characters for whom people tend to fit into typical character archetypes seen in teen-centric media.

Most queer media being produced now expresses the highs and lows of finding yourself during that period of teenage discovery. As such, there are some formulas typically involved in these stories- the characters will discover aspects of themselves they didn’t know existed, and will go on the journey of self discovery along with the journey of battling first love. As audience members and traumatized members of fandom (through many lackluster, safe, and stereotypical “queer” pieces of media), I think that there is a stigma, one of no blame, starting to form for how the characters will develop within an actually good story that features explicitly queer content. The self-discovery arc, although not something that is impossible for older characters to experience (it even somewhat happens in the show with Stede realizing his love for Ed), is not what a majority of the characters in OFMD have as one of their storylines. 

The main characters in Our Flag Means Death are very intriguing because they exist in a state that I could almost call a constant mid-life crisis. Stede had been unhappy with his life on land, so he took to the seas to become a pirate. Ed was bored and uninterested by remaining Blackbeard, so he pursues Stede, someone new and interesting, and is able to express more of his true self. Izzy is in a state of turmoil due to someone who had been relatively constant in what Izzy believed to be his natural state, Ed as Blackbeard, getting “corrupted” by Stede. These are instances that occur to characters that already have all their character traits and personalities fleshed out. Stede knows he’s unhappy on land, so he leaves and goes to do the things he loves, which is the sea and being a pirate (as expressed when he plays with his children). Ed was already frustrated of being viewed as Blackbeard, and he carried that red silk with him from a very young age (an age at which he already expressed both a love for finer things and more violent tendencies). Izzy maintains loyalty to the ferocity of Blackbeard, and renounces Ed due his personal belief that that is not the correct state that Ed should be in, despite that being another facet of Ed’s personality. 

These characters have already matured to the point of their life in which they know, more or less, who they are. There are challenges to their beliefs, of course, such as Stede’s conflicts with his old life, the party and episodes 9 and 10 in Ed’s case, and Izzy’s entire existence in this show (except for episode ten in which he feels vindicated that the person who he thought Blackbeard should be returned- but that’s for a different post.) 

The characterization that I have been noticing seems to gloss over these previously established character traits and delves into how the character’s development in the show- such as Ed having to take all the parts of himself and express it as being truly him- lends itself to the idea that Ed doesn’t know who he is. And while that’s a viable take, it makes more sense within the show that he needs to figure out how to show all of himself at one time, as opposed to hiding behind a mask or playing up those aspects of himself in order to fit in. The self-discovery arc that teens typically endure throughout their respective stories is one that Ed already has gone through- now he’s attempting to settle what he knows to be himself with how he adapts to fit in with his surroundings.

[quicksandblock]

MCYT Demographic Survey Part 2 RESULTS

IT’S TIME!!!

Once again, thank you so much to everyone who participated! 1,654 people total responded to this - about four and a half times as many respondents as the first survey. It’s honestly incredible. I’m so happy the rest of you are as interested as I am in this stuff :D

The increased turnout is also why these results are being posted two days later than I’d intended. I want to give a HUGE thank you to my friend @quincepastey​ and my sibling @orestes-swimming​ for helping me out, and by helping I do mean they did basically all of the technical stuff for me, because my knowledge of spreadsheets was not up to the task. So thank you to Cupid for organizing all the data from questions 3 and 4 into something comprehensible for me, and thank you to Kal for making the charts! They are absolutely the MVPs and everyone reading this should go check them out. Thank you guys so much <3

Reblogs of this post are very appreciated. It would be awesome if the info about the results could reach everyone who submitted a response, so if you reblogged my first post about this survey, please consider reblogging this one as well!

For your convenience, here’s a link to the results of the first survey I did six months ago. Now - on to the results!

Question 1: What is your age range?

Compared to the results of the first survey, we can see that things have changed a bit! Specifically, the fandom has shifted just a little bit older. The solid majority of the fandom is still in the 15-17 year old range, but it’s gone down from almost half to closer to 40%. Almost a third of the fandom are ages 18-20, up from close to a fifth six months ago. 21-25 year olds have increased from about 10% to about 14%. And the youngest segment, 13-14 year olds, have gone from almost 20% of the fandom down to 12% - the sharpest change of all.

Finally, nearest and dearest to my own heart, there are now 26 whole people in the fandom aged 26-30 and 9 people aged 30+. Old Squad is growing, folks. We are... the 2% 😎 Special shoutout to the person who said their 15 year old kid got them into the fandom. I hope you know just how cool you are.

These results are interesting, but it’s also impossible to say how accurate the data is. This survey and the previous one were only posted on my blog, and they only reached a wider audience through the reblogs of my followers. So do these changes reflect actual changes in the demographics of the fandom as a whole, or is it just that my followers (and the people who follow them) have shifted older? To try to avoid this bias in the future, I may reach out to some well-known younger bloggers and ask them to reblog the next survey I do so that I can reach a more even audience.

Question 2: What is your gender?

Apologies for the small text, but there were so many unique write-in answers that I wanted to include them all. You may want to open the image in a separate tab for better quality.

In contrast to the age question, the gender spread of the fandom has remained pretty much the same. About half the fandom is still female, the nonbinary crowd has increased from 20% to 25%, 7% of us are male, almost 7% are genderfluid, and about 5% are agender. Just like last time, most of the write-in responses fell into the vague categories of either genderqueer or questioning.

No surprises on this one! The fandom continues to be overwhelmingly female and queer. Next time I think I’ll include genderqueer and questioning as options to try to catch some of those people into a formal category. All y’all are so valid, especially the person who wrote in their gender as “soup” <3

The results for questions 3 and 4 will be under a cut, because I don’t want to completely destroy people’s dashes.

Before I get into the last two questions, a couple notes. First, I want to explain how I came up with the list of creators, since a lot of people were either excited or disappointed by the fact that a few different people were on there.

On the last survey, this question was a write-in, and I had to transcribe and collate all the answers by hand to come up with the actual number of people who followed each creator. For this survey, I simply took the list that came out of the previous one and pasted it in! I also added a few people who no one wrote in six months ago but who are much more prominent now (Ranboo being the biggest example). So if you were excited to see your favorite small creator listed as an option, they were there because someone wrote them in last time! And if you wrote in your favorite small creator here, they’ll be an option on the next survey. The list is entirely crowdsourced and it will expand with each survey.

That said, the same also applies for more controversial creators. Specifically, I’m talking about CallMeCarson. Several people questioned my decision to keep him on the list - and to be honest, I considered taking him out. But in the end I decided to leave him in as an option for the sake of completeness and consistency with the previous survey. I want to emphasize that this is not me condoning his actions. But for the sake of the data, I felt that it was best to leave him in.

That said, let’s move on to questions 3 and 4!

Question 3: What creator(s) do you primarily follow?

So, it’s harder to compare with the previous survey on this one, and that’s purely because on the previous survey I didn’t have the help I did here. The chart I was able to make for the results back in October was frankly trash. Also, the fact that I split “followed creators” into two questions - primarily and casually followed - definitely throws things off. However, we can still do a certain amount of comparison!

The most obvious change is Ranboo. He straight up was not on the previous survey at all - I think he’d been streaming for less than a month at the time. Now, about 55% of respondents listed him as someone they primarily follow. The Dream SMP itself has also jumped dramatically. Previously, about 5% of people wrote in Dream SMP. That has increased to over half. Quackity has gone from less than 2% to about 30%. Karl has gone from 4% to 30%. Phil has gone from about 8% to a little under 50%. The SBI have jumped from 11% to over 40%.

Techno has gone from about 50% to over 60%. Tommy has gone from 45% to over 55%. Wilbur has jumped from 43% to 55%. Tubbo has remained steady at about 38%.

Dream has apparently dropped some of his following percentage-wise, falling from 50% to about 35%. However, George, Sapnap, and the Dream Team itself have all jumped from 10-12% to almost 30%.

I’m not going to go over the rest of the list, because that would just get way too long. However, I will drop a link to the spreadsheets of data for this survey and the previous one, so anyone who wants to can do some comparison of their own!

Question 4: What creators do you casually follow?

I won’t do as detailed of a comparison on this question, because there’s nothing to compare it to - this question wasn’t on the previous survey. However, it’s interesting to see how many more people follow Fundy, Nihachu, BadBoyHalo, Captain Puffy, Eret, Awesamdude, and Jack Manifold casually rather than as a primary favorite. Out of the top twelve, Karl, Quackity, Phil, and Tubbo are the only ones who don’t have a major discrepancy between the amount of people who follow them casually versus primarily.

I would be curious to hear people’s thoughts on why that’s the case! Personally, I would guess it’s a combination of each of their approaches to lore on the Dream SMP, the frequency and times of day that they stream, and the people they tend to make content with and be associated with by the fandom. I may go into that more later, but this post is already very long, so I’ll hold off for now. Here’s a link to this question’s spreadsheet for anyone who wants to take a closer look!

...And that’s a wrap! Good grief, this got long. Kudos to anyone who actually read the whole thing because I know my attention span would be challenged. I’m already thinking about the next survey - a couple people suggested that I add in questions about orientation and nationality, and while I want to keep the survey pretty tight in its scope, I am considering it. It would be even more data to process but it would be interesting to know!

I would love to hear people’s thoughts on these results! I’m only one person, so I know there’s interesting stuff I must have missed. Please, please feel free to reblog with your thoughts and observations! A lot of work went into this (both from me and from Cupid and Kal! Thank you guys again!), so I’m really hoping to hear what people think about it :D

I plan to reblog this and reply to some of the things people wrote in at the end, so stay tuned for that. And once again: thank you all for your interest in this project of mine <3 See you with another one in six months!

[sergeanthopeless]

female Byleth S-supports ranked best to worst

(keeping my personal feelings about the pairings themselves to a minimum)

(Gilbert and Alois omitted, since those are platonic S-supports)

(warning: long post)

1. Seteth 

This S-support is about as romantic as it can get. This thing just makes my heart flutter every. dang. time. and it’s easily the best S-support in the whole game for female Byleth. There’s a REASON why a lot of people hop aboard the Setleth train after witnessing this masterpiece.

Sure, Seteth lectures his way in and out of the proposal, but let’s be real, if it was any different it would be out of character, and acting the responsible advisor is just part of his charm. Plus, he pledges utter devotion to Byleth for the rest of his existence, and we essentially get wedding vows out of this one. It doesn’t get better than that!

He’s so self-assured during this S-support, and that’s sexy. But he is patient and affectionate with her, and takes the time to make sure there’s no room for confusion. He clarifies that his feelings are not those of duty (which is a problem with some other S-supports), or an interest in perpetuating a Nabatean or Crest-rich bloodline. It’s very clear that he just wants her, and that’s it. But where others put Byleth on a pedestal, this S-support feels like an exchange between equals.

Byleth’s reaction to this one is particularly noteworthy — there’s an unusual amount of emotional expression from Byleth during this S-support, INCLUDING A FRIGGIN BLUSH! Byleth does NOT blush often during these supports. Plus, Byleth asks Seteth to promise that he’ll follow wherever she goes. Unlike some of the other S-supports, it’s very clear that she’s invested in him and wants him.

Favorite quotes:

“I cannot conceive of a world without you in it.”

“I love you, deeply. Will you marry me?”

“From this day forward, I will always be at your side. Through good or ill fortune. Through the greatest of joys and the worst of woes. No matter how daunting the task, I will be there.”

“Courage, my love. Let us go forth and face the world - together.”

2. Hubert 

I was genuinely caught off-guard with Hubert, especially since I haven’t played Crimson Flower yet and have gotten all of my impressions of Hubert from the fandom. A pleasant surprise, though, and pleasant enough to snag the #2 best S-support!

He starts with advisor nagging, which is no surprise since that’s his character. However, he doesn’t take too long to get to the point of the conversation, and everything is straightforward yet sweet. It’s very cute how he flustered he gets in the beginning, and his self-consciousness about his suitability as a husband is really sweet. But what really clinched this for me was the privilege of seeing a BLUSHY HUBERT! This surprisingly lovable psychopath gets so dang worked up and excited over Byleth giving him a ring and proposing to him right back.

Favorite quotes:

“[I’d] rather you be with me rather than some dubious individual.” (Yes, I altered the quote, but let’s be real, he wasn’t talking about Edelgard there.)

“I once thought killing you would be a great challenge, but the real difficulty was declaring my love.”

3. Ignatz 

This S-support starts with an angry Ignatz, which had me worried. Ignatz is one of those characters where I expected his apparent youthfulness to cause a problem in his S-support (it definitely causes problems in other S-supports), even though he’s actually 17 at the start of game like Felix, Dimitri, Claude, Raphael, Ferdinand, and Edelgard. So I was pleasantly surprised by the sheer maturity of his proposal!

While he’s definitely self-conscious and doesn’t even expect Byleth to accept his proposal, it says a lot that Ignatz still had the guts to do the proposing. While he expresses surpassing admiration toward Byleth as someone who supported him through troubled times, he’s not dependent or subservient. Yes, there is a prominent fixation on Byleth’s beauty, but he’s an artist, so I think that adds more meaning to what would otherwise be an extremely shallow point to make during an S-support.

Favorite quotes:

“You are my goddess.”

 “You soothed my troubled soul.”

“My beloved goddess.”

“I want to love you for all eternity.”

“I love you with all my soul.”

Hoo boy, this boy’s got a serious SILVER TONGUE on him! *fans self*

4. Lorenz 

Regardless of how you feel about Lorenz, you’ve gotta admit this is a pretty flawless proposal. He reminisces about and apologizes for the trouble he used to cause as a youth, has a smooth transition into the presentation of the ring, and then his composure falls apart when Byleth reveals she’s been wise to him all along. He’s such a perfectionist, and his determination to propose perfectly is very consistent with his character. But I also appreciate that he made sure of Byleth’s feelings before actually asking her to marry him (ring presentation aside).

This S-support makes it very clear just how much Lorenz admires Byleth, which I feel is extremely important in context of his character. He can be incredibly self-centered to the point of being downright irritating, so the fact that he’s now talking about her and is focused entirely on her shows the sincerity of his feelings and how much Lorenz has grown as a person.

The bit at the end where he gets overexcited and uses his full name is hilarious, but I’m glad the S-support doesn’t end there, which would have taken away from it. Instead, it ends with Lorenz swearing to make Byleth happy and work with her in making the world a better place. Equal partners!

The last thing that really made this S-support for me was the voice acting. The broken voice, trembling, and stammering really added emotional depth to Lorenz’s character in this critical moment, and really brought everything to the next level in terms of overall impact.

Favorite quote: “Pedigree and status are no longer priorities for me. I now know that what matters most is the worth of an individual’s soul.”

5. Felix

The moment I noticed that this S-support was taking place at the training grounds, I knew it was going to be good. And it goes exactly as you would expect with our favorite tsundere, flustered and deflecting and all, but the sheer effort that he ends up putting into it is so endearing. And I adore how Byleth messes with him the whole time.

It starts rough, let’s be real. He just hands the ring to Byleth and tells her to “take this.” Oh, Felix. This poor boy is so. friggin. hopeless. You can practically hear his thought process leading up to this point. “How do I make sure Byleth never leaves?... Ah, marriage — yes, that’ll lock her in!” *facepalm*

But Felix’s body language is what really makes this S-support, starting with the finger point and then ending with the kabedon. Plus, we get a glimpse of something very rare: blushy Felix!

Favorite quotes:

“Fight me for the rest of my life.”

“I want you to be my wife. Please say yes. Let’s get married and stay together until we die. I love you.”

6. Balthus

I really didn’t know what to expect with this one, although to be honest, what expectations I did have were fairly low. Yet despite his faults, Balthus managed to scrape together a rather charming S-support! His nervousness and stuttering is adorable for such a big, tough-talking guy, and I love that we actually get an impatient “Just say it already,” from Byleth.

It was nice to see Byleth’s good influence on Balthus, although I’m not a fan of the woman-redeems-man trope. And considering that Balthus asks for up to 5 years to get his act together…that wasn’t exactly a point in his favor.

What made this S-support for me was all of the classic lines. Balthus isn’t necessarily a smooth talker, but it would be wrong to say that he doesn’t know how to talk to a woman. The proposal itself had me ROLLING: “Marry me, pal!” The voice acting was flawless, particularly when he said, “my love.” Balthus, I’ll say this on Byleth’s behalf: please stop trying so hard. And never say that again.

Favorite quotes:

“It’s time to take the biggest gamble of my life.”

“Comfort be damned! I need you by my side. Always.”

“Let’s get hitched right away! I know a guy.”

“To look after you...and be brave enough to let you look after me. that’s what marriage is all about, right?”

S-support portraits shouldn’t really matter here, but I’m going out on a limb here and saying that Balthus’ portrait is the best one of all Byleth’s S-supports.

7. Dorothea

I have a lot of Dorothea feels, okay? She’s my baby girl. And by this point in the game, she’s so jaded and used to disappointment that it just breaks my heart. So when Byleth proposes to her, you can hear the genuine emotion in her voice. She’s so in love with Byleth, but clearly talked herself out of it long before this moment. “You won the war. You could pick anyone in the world. Why would you…?”

And then she’s so happy. It’s not fancy, but her pure happiness really makes this for me. The hopeless romantic finally getting her happy ending is just really lovely.

Favorite quote: “I starred in so many operas where I captured the heart of my beloved. But I never dreamed that it would feel this wonderful when it actually happened.”

8. Ferdinand

Oh boy, Ferdie. There wasn’t much of a preamble, and the presentation of the ring wasn’t anything special. He’s still full of himself: “You hear noble Ferdinand von Aegir declare his love for you, and all you say is, ‘I understand’?” and this S-support is more focused on him than it is on Byleth, which is exactly the opposite of what happened with Lorenz’s S-support, even though they’re similar characters.

That being said, this S-support has its moments. We get a good reaction out of him (even though it’s over the top), and we get a sign of his personal growth when he reins himself in. The trembling and feeling faint is very cute (10/10), and considering his ambitious nature, him saying that he considers winning Byleth’s heart to be one of his greatest accomplishments is sweet, as is the way he dreams about their future.

In other words, this one starts rough, but ends sweet.

Favorite quote: “I need you as much as I need my next breath — more, even.”

9. Dedue

Can we just appreciate that Dedue chose to leave Dimitri for Byleth? That is so meaningful. Dedue spends the entire game unhealthily attached to Dimitri, and finally he finds something that he chooses for himself. Of course, there is the concern that he will become unhealthily attached to Byleth, but I don’t get that impression from his S-support.

There are so many wonderful little details in this S-support. The tiny, modest ring. The straightforward proposal. Both of them gazing at each other in loving, comfortable silence afterward. Byleth’s blush. And DEDUE’S LAUGH. Just. the laugh. It’s important.

Finally, Dedue invites Byleth to come with him to visit Duscur. TAKE NOTES, CLAUDE!! Anyway…

10. Edelgard

*takes a deep breath and sets aside my feelings about Edelgard’s stance on the Children of the Goddess*

Alright, so this S-support is significant because it’s one of the few where you can tell that there is genuine affection on Byleth’s end. She really takes charge of the proposal, going so far as to use Edelgard’s nickname, “El,” to convey affection and intimacy.

At first I was concerned when I heard Edelgard say, “This ring…thank you, my dearest friend,” and I was like HOLD UP – did Byleth just get friendzoned?? But Edelgard clarifies by expressing that she has romantic feelings too, which saves the scene. But while sweet, the rest of the S-support focuses on Edelgard’s ambitions and generally lacks romance. Fitting for her character? Yes. A satisfying S-support? Not really.

11. Dimitri 

It’s clear from the beginning of this S-support that Dimitri and Byleth have become close friends. I appreciate the way they talk about their wounds, and although talking about Dimitri’s nightmares is far darker than I expected from an S-support, it shows just how much Dimitri has improved.

What disappointed me about this S-support is the lack of emotion on both sides. Sure, the “my beloved” pet name is wonderful. And sure, Byleth isn’t very emotional as a rule. But Byleth shows more emotional in other S-supports. And there is not nearly enough of a reaction on Dimitri’s side. Come on, dude. You’ve been aggressively simping over Byleth since Day 1, and you’re just taking this proposal in stride?? You should be unconscious right now.

12. Mercedes

I’m so proud of how far Mercedes has come at this point. She’s determined to live in a way that makes her happy, outside of her Crest or anyone else’s expectations. That being said, a lot of this S-support feels more like it could have been an A+ support.

Major points to Mercedes to being the one to do the proposing. A lot of people mistake her kind nature for being demure, which is not the case. She is bold, speaks her mind, and knows what she wants. And in this case, that’s Byleth. Her proposal is gentle and respectful, if a bit bland, and her reaction to Byleth’s acceptance is absolutely adorable. She’s so happy yet insecure, and I wish there was more communication from Byleth to reassure her.

13. Hanneman

Hanneman is an academic through and through, and his nature as a scholar comes through strongly in his S-support. He tries to approach things pragmatically, almost ruins things by talking about Byleth’s role in his research, but fortunately realizes that’s the wrong way to do it and takes a new approach with more feeling. It’s very similar to Linhardt’s S-support, but less self-centered and overall better. Hanneman treats Byleth as an equal, and shows enthusiasm in his own way.

Overall, this is an extremely pragmatic S-support, but it’s not without its charms. That being said, it definitely requires an interpretation of Byleth’s character where she has developed a taste for academia.

Favorite quotes:

“I suppose there’s no reason to hold ourselves back any longer.”

“I don’t want the power of your Crest - I want you.”

“I can’t wait to see the results of this undertaking.”

14. Yuri

This S-support is very consistent with Yuri’s character. The scene opens with Yuri trying to repay his “debt” to Byleth, which definitely lacks in romantic vibes, but works in context. It’s nice to see Yuri nervous and out of composure, but I admit I had been expecting…more…from him with how charming he’s supposed to be. Then again, like Sylvain, maybe the fact that he’s dropped the façade is supposed to make it meaningful. At least he blushes! Blushy Yuri is something I didn’t know I needed. The bit at the end where he whispers his true name in her ear is very nice, too.

But yikes…Yuri talks about his death. And considering that in most of the routes, Byleth ends up being most likely essentially immortal, this hits HARD. She is definitely facing the death of her lover in a few decades at most, and that is not something she wants to think about during a proposal.

Favorite quote: “In return for this ring, I ask for you.”

15. Raphael 

Raphael is a pretty clueless, non-romantic kind of guy. But the sudden proposal is very cute. Considering how awful he is at expressing himself, it works really well with his character to simply have him jump right in and get it over with.

That being said, I couldn’t help but feel that his reasoning for getting married was just a little loose. He always wants to be with Byleth and expresses that he wants to serve as her knight. Uh, you realize you can do that without marrying her right, bud? Byleth didn’t seem to be very into this proposal either, although she does have a wonderful little smile in the S-support portrait, which makes up for that. I love how the portrait emphasizes Raph’s size and strength by having him lift her up bridal style. It’s an actually flattering portrayal of him, too.

Favorite quote: “And…I’ll love you. Forever and ever. And ever!”

16. Sylvain 

Ah yes, Sylvain. Our favorite train wreck. The good news is that he’s finally taking charge of his life, and I like that he’s straightforward in this S-support rather than flirtatious, which means that you know he’s being sincere. It’s cute to see him genuinely happy, and his statement that “I’m going to spend the rest of our lives together trying to make you happy,” is very good.

However, the “If you told me you never wanted me to look at another woman, I’d go blind for you” is going too far. I know it addresses his skirt-chasing character, but I just don’t know if they could have a healthy relationship. I know this is rating the support scene, not the ship itself, but I don’t think that’s a positive indicator for the future.

17. Claude 

This S-support gives me so many bad vibes. Yes, he expresses his love for Byleth as well as his utmost confidence in her, but dude, actions matter more than words, and your actions speak VOLUMES. He’s the only one to just run off at the end of the S-support, and while I understand his reasoning — I really do — it’s clear that his own agenda and ambitions will always come before Byleth.

This is what I heard: “Right now, Fodlan is like a newborn... so that’s why I’m leaving, so you have to do all the hard stuff yourself. See ya, sucker!!” Ah yes. Prime husband and father material there. Obviously.

“I’m sorry that I won’t be by your side at such an important event...” Uh huh, yeah right. You’re obviously itching to get out of there.

I’m sorry, Claude stans, but giving Byleth an engagement ring and then running away for who knows how long is LAME.

18. Jeritza

The first thing that struck me about this S-support is the fact that it takes place in the Agarthan HQ, Shambhala. This is super meaningful because it means that Byleth and Jeritza go there together to use their killing prowess to take out Those Who Slither in the Dark post-Crimson Flower. It’s a nice way to tie up the route. The portrait is super dynamic and unique, too. That being said…

He’s still fixated on killing Byleth. If that’s your thing, then hey, I can’t judge. At least we all know that if he hasn’t killed her by now, it’s never going to happen. It’s such an empty threat it’s probably an inside joke by now. But Jeritza’s clearly still figuring out his feelings, which means I’m not sure it really counts as an S-support (it would have made a better A+ support imho). There are also things about this pairing and S-support that have some serious implications for who Byleth has become by this point and what the future is likely to look like. Good storytelling, yes, but as an S-support…not my favorite.

Favorite quotes:

“It is you alone who can slay the demon inside me.”

“To the very depths of hell, I will tumble down with you.”

19. Linhardt

This S-support falls flat for me. It’s like Hanneman’s, but worse because it’s super self-centered. I feel like it’s a really bad summary of Linhardt’s character because so much more could have been done with it. Linhardt has lots of good traits, and this S-support ignores all of them. Instead, we have a one-dimensional S-support that focuses on Linhardt’s laziness and penchant for napping. He’s so self-centered and consumed by his own interests, so saying that he wants to study Byleth for the rest of his life makes her more like an accessory to his life plans rather than a central component. At least when Hanneman says he wants to study Byleth, he makes it very clear that he loves her and wants her as a person.

And the line where he says "I didn’t honestly think you’d reject me” is just…wow. Much disappoint. If I were Byleth I would turn him down on the spot just for saying that.

20. Ashe 

Ashe’s S-support comes off to me like he’s pledging himself to her as a vassal more than actually proposing. Yes, he does take initiative and does the proposing, which is consistent with the fact that Ashe is a gutsy little guy. But he’s so stuck on being helpful that the S-support ends up feeling immature. Plus, Byleth doesn’t seem very enthusiastic about the proposal compared to other S-supports, and overall Ashe’s worship of Byleth comes off as more dependent than romantic.

21. Caspar

We’ve reached the bottom four S-supports, starting with this disaster. Caspar is juvenile, reckless, and oblivious. (Don’t get me wrong — I adore his character and see him like a little brother.) Byleth has to take charge of the proposal, which is not a problem in itself, but then Caspar confesses that he hasn’t even thought about marrying Byleth — or anyone at all! asaslkjasdflk FAIL

At least the victory shout is kind of cute…if painfully cheesy.

And they get worse from here…

22. Rhea

I don’t have a lot to say here. I know I said that I would keep my personal feelings about the pairings themselves out of this, but I feel like there are certain things about this particular pairing that need to be addressed along with this S support.

Age gap aside (because frankly with immortals, age doesn’t really matter anymore), Rhea CREATED Byleth’s mother, essentially making herself Byleth’s grandmother. Incest vibes, yo. Plus, she fully intended to sacrifice Byleth’s life in order to bring back Sothis — which, granted, is a sentiment that wears off, and Jeritza is just as bad in terms of original intent to kill Byleth. This makes any kind of romantic revelation on Rhea’s side just…weird.

There are some good quotes in this S-support, and we get a ton of reveals about Rhea’s character development in a short amount of time. She’s self-conscious of her other form as a dragon, she acknowledges the wrongs she did in the past, and she expresses a desire to repent. She acknowledges the pivotal role that Byleth has played through her choices and accomplishments, rather than attributing them to fate and the “flow of time.” But honestly this would be more appropriate as a final scene at the end of the game, not a romantic S-support.

23. Cyril

Oh boy. Where do I start with this one? It’s so bad...

This boy is BABY. 19 years old after the war? Sure. Attractive design? Yes. But still, he. is. BABY. And the S-support portrait makes it so much worse by making him look freaking TEN.

And he’s so, so oblivious. Even worse than Caspar. He barely has a personality as a character outside of being committed to the servant mentality, and he has had no opportunity to discover himself as a freaking person outside of his obsession with Rhea. It should be illegal to even consider this kid for S-support. One thing would be if it was platonic, like Alois or Gilbert, but Byleth gives him the ring, and that means it’s supposed to be romantic.

Plus, Cyril says that he loves Byleth, but it’s super casual and comes off more like familial or friendship love rather than romantic love. Unless I missed something, I don’t think Byleth ever says that she loves Cyril in their S-support. And the end is just the worst: “Love ya, see ya in the morning.” That’s IT???? There is absolutely no indication of a mature relationship, and that’s just scary and gross.

I just…really hate this S-support. There’s only one S-support that’s worse…

24. Sothis

Forget everything that I said about keeping my feelings about particular pairings out of this ranking. This is a TRULY CURSED S-SUPPORT.

I don’t care that Sothis is technically a goddess whose age is beyond counting or mortal comprehension. All that matters is she looks like a child. She is lolibait. And to top it all off, she doesn’t even have physical form (thank goodness) — she’s just an apparition in Byleth’s head!

And this quote? “I love you deeply! Overwhelmingly! passionately! Ours is a love without an end!” I only have two words: PEAK CRINGE.

It would be one thing if Sothis came back in her adult form. Or better yet, if she had always been in her adult form as portrayed in the fresco in the reception hall. You can do something with that. But that’s not the case, Sothis is portrayed as a pre-pubescent child in both appearance and personality, and that’s just pedophilia vibes, y’all. I can’t believe this is a sincere S-support option.

[hogwartsfirebolt]

Hello everyone! I’m back for my (omg time flies) third yearly drarry rec list, in which I share with you my 30 favorite drarry fics I read in the year, divided in three parts. What a year 2020 was. It was challenging, scary and confusing, and it was also an amazing reading year for me, I read so, so much more than I ever had before, and I’m really excited to share these masterpieces with you! The banner art is by @dragontamerdame who is one of my favorite artists and was kind enough to let me use this beautiful piece, which you can (and totally should) reblog right here. Now, with nothing else to add and in no particular order, here’s my

FAVORITE FICS I READ IN 2020 PART ONE

1. Who we are in the shadows - @quicksilvermaid - 100k - E - What happens when you’re forced to become the very thing you despise? Ex-Auror Harry Potter, tossed out of the Ministry for something he had no control over, has been looking for a way back to his former life. When he comes across Draco Malfoy in the criminal underbelly of Wizarding London and in need of protection, Harry figures bringing him in to face the Ministry's justice is his ticket back to everything he's lost. But nothing is exactly as it seems. Not even Harry himself. And as he gets drawn further and further into Malfoy's world of honour and deception he finds himself questioning everything he thought he knew—about his childhood nemesis, the Ministry job he misses so much, and most of all, about himself. What happens when you’re forced to see that you were wrong?

THIS FIC!!! It was the first one I read in 2020, and it immediately became my favorite fic of the entire year, and one of my favorites of all time. I have since read it two more times, the entire 100k of it. There are absolutely no words to describe how amazing it is, how much it floored me to read their characterizations, their jobs and the roads life took them on to end up where they end up, the connection between them in a time when they don’t even know how to relate to anyone, their sorrow and struggles which, despite being so rooted in the magical world, are painfully human, just... wow. It’s a masterpiece. It changed the way I view their characters, forever, and I suspect I will read it many, many more times in the years to come. It’s that kind of story. If for whatever reason you haven’t read it, this is your sign to take that chance and embark on this amazing journey. 

2. Every Kingdom - @thistle-verse - 7k - E - Every kingdom needs a prince. Every prince needs a good and useful knight. Draco and Harry play their parts and renegotiate some borders while they’re at it.

So, so lovely. Even though I don’t read them very often, alternate universes fascinate me so much, and I am in awe of the author for being able to pack so, so much story, so neatly into 7k words. This features a princely, lonesome Draco, a charming, golden Harry, and a blossoming love that could change everything. It’s beautiful, and I recommend it deeply.

3. The Bucket List - GallaPlacidia - 32k - Draco will die in six months if he can't get Harry Potter to fall in love with him. Since that's not going to happen, he might as well spend his last days working through his Bucket List. Tap-dancing lessons? Rock climbing? Poetry-writing? Threesomes? Cocaine? Getting to know his adorable cousin, Teddy Lupin? Draco will try them all! Feat. Cheerily pessimistic Draco, devoted bitch queen Pansy Parkinson, and a Harry who can't help but notice that something seems DIFFERENT about Draco, these days.

I’m positive that many, many of us got acquainted with GallaPlacidia’s writing this year, and I, too, fell in love with it. This story aches in the most beautiful of ways, the humor happens to be somehow light in such a difficult circumstance that it ends up hurting when you laugh, it hurts when everything is right because it’s also wrong, it aches when it’s supposed to be a happy moment and feels tender and sweet when it’s not. I can’t even imagine the challenge of writing this kind of story, and they pulled it off beautifully. It’s a lovely story, one you will take with you long after you finish it, and, personally, I think it’s a great introduction to the author’s writing. 

4. halcyon days - @the-starryknight - 1.3k - T - Sleepy mornings caught while the sun rises are reserved for silly word games and soft touches and feelings.

Oh my god, the amount of tenderness in such a low wordcount made me weak in the knees. I almost couldn’t take it. Being able to convey such a deep emotional connection in a short story seems like such a daunting task, and the author makes it seem almost effortless. I guarantee that this will make you bring your hands to your chest and sigh with how lovely it is. Reading it will be the best ten minutes of your day. 

5. Clouds That Veil the Midnight Moon - @drarrytrash - 37k - E - According to Harry’s personal narrative regarding the incident, he’d hooked up with Draco Malfoy for purely self-destructive reasons, or out of convenience, or by some unlucky accident. Looking at him, sprawled in the moonlight, Harry is devastated to recall that he’d hooked up with Draco Malfoy because he’s hot. Draco is a secret werewolf and Harry is doing his best and they've got criminals to catch, darn it.

Reading this, I found myself laughing out loud, nodding profusely with how freaking spot on the characterizations are. The dialogue is amazing, so hilarious and real and Harry’s inner monologue is so, so him. I love everything about this story. I have a soft spot for werewolf fic, and this one hit everything I love about it, the case is interesting and engaging, the incidental characters, the OCs, Ron and Hermione, everyone and everything is absolutely perfect and I had an absolute blast reading it. You HAVE to read this and see for yourself what I’m talking about. 

6. Sex Ed for Aurors - curiouslyfic - 8k - M - Some things, you need to learn on the job.

Oh my god this is so freaking good. The premise is, basically, that Harry is accidentally doused with a lust potion while in the vicinity of Draco, and suddenly wants him more than anything. I loved this take on that trope, we’re in Harry’s head, and it’s absolutely hilarious and endearing to experience the near childish glee he feels whenever Draco looks his way, when he smiles, when he feels he’s made him happy, meanwhile Draco and Ron are horrified and doing whatever they can to correct it. This is so funny and such a good time, I can’t recommend it enough! While you’re at it, you should definitely read megyal’s remix of this, which is also a blast. 

7. plasticine porters with looking-glass ties - @bonesliketambourines - 15K - E - Lately, Harry thinks things don’t seem the same between him and Draco. His head is in the clouds when he thinks about what their relationship is now, and where it might be headed—he’s happy with their friendship, but he wants something else. A potions accident over a lunchtime visit to Draco’s lab (what does he get up to in there, anyway?) changes things, though, and accelerates their relationship faster than either of them had ever expected. How are they going to get through this new development together?

Atmospheric, beautifully-written and delicious. Their relationship is tender, just on the edge of something more, when they’re forced to quarantine together and face the effects of a potion that makes them see and feel things differently, which makes for the most intense, visual, gorgeous sex scene I think I’ve ever read. It’s just absolutely phenomenal. 

8. i wake up falling - warmfoothills - 9k - M - Draco’s always leaving, one way or another. Harry’s usually 240 thousand miles too late.

In trying to come up with a way to summarize this story, I’m feeling the overwhelming urge to cry again, just like I did when I read it. It’s just so, so, beautiful, every single word of it aches in the best way, the longing feels deeply authentic and just, the setting and the jobs and everything is so unique and gorgeous. Every single work by this author is beyond beautiful, but especially this one is incredibly close to my heart and I think everyone should read it. It’s a gem. 

9. In Every Universe - @skeptiquewrites - 27k - M - They sent Professor Harry Potter to search for Unspeakable Draco Malfoy. Draco has stolen a Firebird, an experimental magical device from the Department of Mysteries that lets you enter parallel universes as yourself. As Harry traverses from universe to universe, he begins to think Draco might be the one searching for him. A story about whether knowing what's possible makes it possible.

Stories where the characters find themselves somehow hopping from one reality to another are always so, so fascinating to me, and this one is incredibly creative and well-written, so entertaining all around. The mystery of it kept me on my toes, and every single reality was a joy to read. 10/10

10. Life goes not backward - @shealwaysreads - 8k - T - Harry still isn’t used to gifts, but this one is different. A story of coming home, finding safe ground, and the wild courage of putting down roots. Leaving one life behind isn’t always a sacrifice, and sometimes the greatest good comes from embracing the people you love.

My god, there are not enough words to describe how much this story means to me, how beautiful it is, how every single time I’ve read it, I’ve cried. Bella has undoubtedly become one of my absolute favorite writers in fandom. She has such a way with words, there is not one of her stories that hasn’t touched me, that doesn’t feel like an actual, full-length novel no matter the word count. I read so many of them this year, so many of the masterpieces she’s gifted us, but this one especially is so tender, so dear, that I ended up choosing it as my favorite of hers this year. Harry’s charactertization, the unbelievable warmth of their relationship, absolutely everything about this is gorgeous. Go read it, right now, and then binge all her other works!! You won’t regret it.

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Each of these fics is incredibly close to my heart and I enjoyed them immensely. In the midst of everything changing, I really found comfort and solace in the amazing works of the people of this fandom. I hope they give you the same amount of warmth and comfort they gave me, and I’m ALWAYS here to gush about any of them ❤️ Happy New Year!