#gets his arm bitten off by a shark

[tennessoui]

there’s so much emphasis on modern anakin being a racecar driver but i need more emphasis on him being like. a professional surfer. going after the most insane waves. thrilled with the speed he can pick up and the slight danger. he’s already got the hair for it! and he would look nasty good in like a partially undone wetsuit, tits out and tanning while he sends cow eyes at lifeguard kenobi just think of the bulge in the front of the wetsuit

[mrs-elsie-barnes]

Omega Ours - Part 1 | Alpha!Cassian x Alpha!Nesta x Omega!Reader| Short Series 2.7k

After fighting your way out of every potential mating offered to you, your village sends you off with the High Lord. Rhysand, tired of dealing with the Alphas living in the House of Wind, gifts you to Cassian and Nesta in the hopes that it'll settle all three of you down.

Warnings: 18+ sexual content, language & themes. Omegaverse dynamics including Alpha & Omega and the sexist assumptions/implications that go along with it, heat/heat cycles, forced proximity, d/s themes, only one bed (and only one chaise), lots of tropey tropes! No use of YN but liberal use of pet names.

Divider by @firefly-graphics & @reveriesources

Cassian & Nesta - from Pinterest

Created for @polyacotarweek - prompt 5 faveourite tropes (Omegaverse, only one bed, forced proximity, sort of insta-love)

Part 2 will be posted on the 13 (Free day!) follow @illyrianlibrary for updates ❤️

Part 2 | Masterlist | Poly Fics | Cassian

The only way to describe the couple stood before you was - handsome. 

The High Lord and Lady who’d brought you here were beautiful, elegant. But this couple could only be described as handsome, strong, Alpha. 

You knew them, of course. General Cassian of the Nightcourt and his mate, Lady Nesta. Lord of Bloodshed and Lady Death, they’d called them in the camps that circled the Illyrian villages like pilot fish on a shark.  

“I’ve brought you a present,” Rhysand drawled, pointing at you. “Well, it’s a favour and a present. The last unmated omega of the season. She's  from the Western Isles, I thought it might help to tamp down your behaviour if you two had a project.” He grinned and you turned to look at Nesta and Cassian again. 

It was true, you’d rejected every mate offered to you, bitten some of them, in your desperation to get away, and that’s how you’d lost your freedom. Fighting the boys from the village was one thing, fighting an Illyrian was another. They’d hauled you into the camp in front of the High Lord on his last visit and demanded compensation. 

Rhysand, ever flush with jewels and gold, had paid them and then had a set of cuffs and leathers made for you. Nightcourt black velvet, red stitching and silver buckles. But restraints were still restraints, no matter how soft they felt against your wrists and ankles. He’d had new clothes made for you as well, traditional sheer panels of matching blood red that hung in gossamer curtains down your legs, pooling around you as you were forced to your knees in front of the Lady and General. 

“I don’t know what you mean,” Nesta studied her nails, her air bored but her eyes kept flickering towards you. 

“Come now, Nesta, we both know you and Cassian caused quite the stir the last time you were both in heat.” 

You were right then, you could smell it on them anyway, that raw power and strength that designated them as Alpha. 

“Still -  you want us to take care of your problems?” Nesta huffed. 

“Of course not, she’s a gift, for you and Cass, if you happen to tame her enough that she stops mauling my men then that’s a bonus.” 

You looked between them, it was undeniable how attractive they were. Better than the mud caked idiots from the village at least, but you still railed against the hand that dragged you back to your feet. 

Cassian kept his hand under your elbow, pinching your cheeks with his other hand. “Come on, Nes. She’s cute, isn’t she?” He angled your face up towards his mate. 

Nesta shrugged one shoulder and you snarled, snapping at Cassian’s fingers. 

“Feisty,” he gave a deep chuckle, “I like that, that’s how Nes and I got together.” He hauled you over his shoulder, your legs and arms dangling, the panels of your dress slipping dangerously. 

“Put me down!” You beat your fists on his back. 

“Should have thought of that before you tried to bite me,” he teased, jostling you. 

You scowled at Nesta, who followed, laughing, through the halls of the palace and then tried using the only knowledge you had about the Illyrians. You reached out and grabbed his wing, squeezing as tightly as you could. 

He growled back, the sound travelling up through his chest into yours, vibrating your very core. 

“You want to play rough? Good.” 

Cassian shouldered a heavy door open and suddenly the sweeping corridor was gone and a dark, warm room wrapped itself around you. 

The walls were an oxblood red with thick velvet curtains that lay heavily in front of the eternally open windows. The soft jasmine breeze that circulated through the house was mixed with the cleaner scent of mountain air and the crackling of a fire, rich and inviting. 

The general set you down, his gaze travelling slowly down your figure. He clenched his jaw and then instantly turned to his mate, cupping her cheeks in his large hands and kissing her roughly. She growled in response, leaning into his embrace and allowing him to lift her against his body. You watched as he carried her across the room to an open archway, almost hidden behind a large tapestry, and then they vanished again. 

Tentatively, as much as you could with the thin chain connecting your ankles, you crept across the room to the curtain, now brushed back and curling heavily on the polished floor. 

Nesta and Cassian were tangled on the bed, the heady scent of their arousal lay thick in the air, the bedsheets already rumpled as if they’d been interrupted before, the room in disarray. 

On both bedside tables there were stacks of books of various genres, a pitcher of water on one and dagger on the other. 

“Either come in or go,” Nesta groused from the bed, hair messy, one of Cassian’s hands still tangled in the long golden-brown strands. 

“Play nice, Nes.” The general laughed, biting at Nesta’s earlobe. “You can join us or you can sleep,” he said over his shoulder. 

Sure enough there was a small chaise made up with blankets at the end of the bed. You shuffled over, and fell heavily onto the soft cushions listening to the sound of their love making. Each grunt and moan made you press your thighs together harder. Each stifled sigh had your hands twitching, itching for something more. You may have rejected every attempt at a mating, but you weren’t completely without feeling, without desire and needs and lust. 

You lifted your hands to cover your ears, the chain between them digging into the bridge of your nose, and fell into a confused sleep. 

 You awoke to the sound of moving bodies and cloth dragging on the floor. 

“She’s asleep, let her rest, Cas.” 

“What if she’s cold?” The footsteps came closer and you tensed on instinct. The steps stopped, but a gentle weight floated down on you, a large cotton blanket, awash with their scent, settled. 

“I’m going to wash,” Nesta’s voice faded as she walked away but there was no other movement. 

“I know you’re awake.” His voice was loud in your ear, closer than you’d expected and you jumped again, almost sliding from the chaise. Cassian’s arm caught you, tight around your waist and his bareskin was so warm against your own. You cracked one eye open and looked around the room as best you could with his wings blocking out the faint candlelight.

His arm was speckled with tiny scars that twinkled against his tan skin, the hair that decorated his forearm was as dark as the long tendrils that brushed over his shoulders and this close, his chin almost resting on your own arm, he smelt heavenly. That mixture of his own scent and Nesta’s even stronger in his proximity and, no doubt, enhanced by their earlier activities. 

“If you want, you can borrow some clothes.” His voice was a sleepy rumble and you resisted the urge to let your omega instincts take over and push yourself back into his chest, seek out that warmth, that comfort - but you didn’t respond. 

The sound of running water in the other room stopped, replaced with the gentle pad of Nesta’s footsteps and then she was in front of you. Surrounded by them again you had to fight back every urge to give in to her wicked mouth, her lips plump and kiss bitten. 

“We’ve left you some things on the chair, choose what you will. If you want to join us on the bed, you can.” Nesta moved away taking Cassian with her and you assumed from the gentle rustle of sheets they were back in bed. 

The chair that sat opposite their grand fireplace was strewn with clothes, silky looking negligees and billowing linen shirts, some cotton leggings and a pair of woollen socks. 

Waiting a moment, hoping they weren’t looking, you rose from the chaise and rushed for the chair. The translucent dress the High Lord had had you wear left your skin cold and bare, exposed and vulnerable. Cassian’s shirt was a welcome relief, covering your body from view, although the two slits in the back for his wings did feel slightly odd. The socks were warm and fluffy, long enough to reach almost to your knees. Redressed, you turned to return to your chaise and tugged the blanket up to your chin. 

You didn’t really want to spend the entire night there, but you also refused to give in to the ridiculousness of the situation. No one chose your mate, or mates, for you and you’d rather sleep on the tiny chaise that allow anyone to take that choice from you. 

Thankfully, Nesta and Cassian had turned away, the Illyrian’s large wings spread over the bed,. Shielding his mate from view? Or stopping her from following you around the room with her silver stare? You weren’t sure, but you were grateful as you closed your eyes. 

It was only as you were falling asleep that you realised you were snuggled into the shirt, inhaling Cassian’s scent, and by then it was too late, you were tumbling into your dreams. 

The next morning Cassian and Nesta were gone, but someone had left a tray of food, a pot of tea and a stack of books on the table. The doors to the balcony were open and the jasmine wind blew the curtains back so invitingly you couldn’t resist. 

You were halfway through one of the books they’d left, something by Sellyn Drake that had far more smut in it than you were anticipating. A slice of buttered toast was stuck halfway to your mouth as you stared transfixed at the page, when the door opened. Cassian held the door for Nesta, taking a long sword from her hand and placing it on the table that was perpetually strewn with weapons. His own sword and daggers followed and the two of them began to strip out of their leathers. 

There had been a rumour that Nesta trained alongside the Lord of Bloodshed and the Shadowsinger, trained with other women as well, but you hadn’t thought to believe it until now. 

Her leathers were tight against skin, a sheen of sweat making her sparkle, her long hair was tied up in what was now a messy ponytail and, most surprising of all, she was smiling broadly at Cassian. He returned the smile, cupping her cheek and pulling her in for a kiss, his hands wandering down to the buckles and clasps that held her fighting leathers together. 

Cassian looked equally as powerful, his own armour dark against his tanned skin, his tattoos flowing under the leather before appearing again at his collar bone and trailing over his shoulders towards the vast wings at his back. You set the book down slowly, the lust filled scene already had you feeling hot under Cassian’s shirt even before they appeared. 

The movement caught his eye and he turned, taking Nesta with him and pinning her against his chest. They way they looked at you, like the most delicious prey, had you pressing your legs together. You wouldn’t give in to this, especially not when it was exactly what that smug prick of a High Lord wanted. 

“Good morning, sweetheart,” he cooed, “Would you like to join us?” 

It was Nesta who held her hand out, crooking her finger to coax you forward. “We’re going to bathe, the tub is large enough for three, come.” It was more a demand than a question and, though you longed to see how far down Cassian’s tattoos went and how Nesta would look covered in bubbles, you resisted again. 

With a shake of your head you went back to your book, trying to ignore the sound of them together through the wall. 

You fell into a rhythm, the three of you. Nesta and Cassian continued as they were, training, working in the library and attending meetings, and inviting you to join them whenever they were together. 

Your nights on the chaise were becoming increasingly uncomfortable, but you refused to be worn down by their requests, preferring to stay silent and read alone either on the balcony or by the fire. No amount of reading could drown out the sound of their love making, though. If you could call it that, judging by the bruises both of them sported proudly and the way their headboard banged against the stone wall. 

Despite your protests their allure was difficult to ignore, their playful banter, the care and attention they showed each other, even the way they whispered in bed, dissecting the day's events and, on a few occasions, discussing you. 

This only happened when you were pretending to sleep heavily, breathing slow and steady as you wished for dreams to take you. 

“Nes, did you see the way my shirt fit her today, rolling up her thighs-” Cassian had made a deep, guttural noise, only to be shushed by Nesta. 

“Yes, Cas, stop, she’s right over there.” Nesta hissed in return. 

“I know, God, she’s so fucking close, don’t you think she smells good?” 

“You know I do.” The sheets rustled and you heard Nesta whimper as a wave of arousal flooded you. They could smell you, you knew it and you couldn’t stop it. 

Sleeping in their room, bathed in their scent every day, surrounded by their things, it was like a huge nest and the longer you lingered here the more you wanted to give in and climb into their bed, to be between them and allow them to care for you.

You knew something had changed when you woke up drenched in sweat. As usual, Nesta and Cassian had already left the room, your breakfast arranged in its spot, clothes laid out for you. They’d started adding some new things, items that smelt like neither of them, clean linen and lavender, but you were still drawn to their items the most. Perhaps, it was the way they smiled when they saw you cuddling into one of Cassian’s shirts or standing on the balcony in one of Nesta’s dresses. But you refused to confront that feeling. 

Despite your long, cold, bath you still felt hot and uncomfortable. It was mid way through stripping off your linen trousers that Nesta reappeared. She moved with a preternatural grace that you were sure existed well before her sister’s ascent to High Lady. A smoothness to each turn of her hand, or extension of her arm, she made walking seem like a dance and you were transfixed.  

Nesta stopped as soon as she saw you, her nostrils flared, almost imperceptibly.

“Are you okay?” she asked in that cool, silvery voice. 

“Yes,” your voice felt hoarse. You barely spoke and had gone days without saying anything to either of them, merely existing in their presence. But now, locked by her gaze, there was no escaping. 

“You seem -” she weighed her words carefully, “unwell.” 

“I can assure you, I’m fine.” You took a half step towards the balcony doors, hoping the breeze would cool your skin. 

Nesta hummed, surveying you from head to toe. “I’d feel better if you got into bed.” 

You knew this was as persuasive as Nesta could be, a simple request made in the lowest of tones, an argument not worth having. 

“I-” 

“The bed.” She crossed the room swiftly and turned you towards the large, velvet draped bed that took up a large portion of the room. Since your first entrance into Nesta and Cassian’s suite, you’d done your best to avoid even looking at it. Now there was no escape.

Your hands were shaking, a tingling heat rising from your spine and coiling in your stomach. On this occasion, just once, you’d listen to her. “Fine.” With great difficulty, you pulled the shirt over your head and dropped it to the floor. You were so tired. When had you become so tired?

Nesta’s deft fingers grasped your chin, holding you still so she could look at your pupils, large and frightened. “Get in bed and go to sleep,” she insisted, and you obeyed. 

Part 2

[euphreana]

Ah, a song from Epic: The Musical, taken wildly out of context, in a Nimona AU comic! (Humor me, it's a cute song if you listen to it without the rest of the album.)

Note that I don't plan on continuing this AU, I just thought it would be fun to do this one-off. But if you must know the background I came up with…

Ambrosius grows up as a noble living by the sea. As a kid, he encounters kid merman-Ballister washed up on the rocky shore after a storm, injured. Ambrosius gets the household staff to help him bring Ballister indoors where they dress his wounds and let him stay in a bathtub while he heals up. (Amb's parents are out of town and are none the wiser.)

Bal and Amb become fast friends, and Bal sticks around after he recovers and is let back into the ocean. Much later (as young adults,) they find an orphaned child mermaid they name 'Nimona' and begin to raise together, even as Amb is called away by his noble duties for long and longer periods of time.

One day while traveling with his parents down the coast by ship, they encounter a storm that sinks the boat, Amb being the only survivor, saved by Bal. (Bal gets his arm bitten off by a shark during the rescue.) Now, traumatized by the event and terrified of open water, Amb is stuck on land, seeing Bal even less. That's where this comic happens.

I don't have many ideas further than that, aside from Nimona turning out to be a magical shape-shifter. Perhaps Nimona alternately takes human form and travels with Amb at times, then takes mermaid form and stays with Bal at different times? Perhaps Amb eventually overcomes his fear of water? Let me know what you think!

[asmodeus-682]

Hazbin Hotel trio friend group headcanons

The trios shown will have 4 heacanons for each character in the group

The 3 Vees

Valentino Velvette and Vox

1. Valentino sometimes needs help cleaning his room due to his poor eyesight

2. He accidentally ate glue before and had to be rushed to the doctors

3. After seeing the footage of Nifty killing Adam, Valentino became scared of short women

4. Secretly prefers Vox over Velvette

1. Velvette uses a lot of emojis when texting Vox and Val, just to piss them off

2. All her models that work for her are people who are in contract with her

3. Genuinely likes anime but hates manga (she hates it because she hates reading too much)

4. She somewhat sees Vox as an annoying older brother

1. Vox has a shark tail but uses some form of magic to hide it after hitting Val with it one time

2. He doesn't like cartoons all that much

3. Most of the time he'll wake up with Velvette measuring his arms or legs to make him outfits

4. Has attachment issues and is clingy towards the other Vees

Zestial Rosie and Alastor

1. Zestial has a painting of Alastor and Rosie in his home as a sign of theor friendship

2. Prefers tea but will drink coffee if he's stressed out enough

3. Zestial will sometimes drop by at the hotel just to check on Alastor and reports back to Rosie afterwards

4. Rabbits are his favourite animal

1. Rosie has a customised teaset she brings out whenever Zestial and Alastor are over for drinks

2. She bites as a sign of affection

3. Rosie has bitten both Alastor and Zestial, in her opinion they both taste terrible

4. Loves reading horror stories that are bloody and gory before bed

1. Alastor hates tea but will drink it if Risie made it

2. Had to teach Zestial how to work a radio

3. Is a very clingy guy when blackout drunk, he will always cling to Zestial and Rosie

4. Secretly enjoys when Zestial holds him as it reminds him of his mother holding him as a child

Nifty Husk and Angel Dust

1. Nifty collects dead bugs after killing them

2. Has VERY good eyesight and can read very fast

3. It is unsure what really scares her, not even Nifty herself knows

4. She sees Husk as a brother figure in a way

1. Husk sometimes purrs when hugging Angel Dust

2. He has a collection of funky animal skulls in a glass casing

3. Prefers sleeping in Angel's room as the bed is far comfier

4. Sometimes Husk will invite Alastor to drink with him just to see if Alastor will free him while drunk. It always fails

1. Angel adores seeing Fat Nuggets playing chase with KeeKee

2. Sometimes he plays with Husk's wings to fluster him

3. He has an entire diary where he rants about Valentino to get out frustrations, it was a recommendation from Sir Pentious and genuinely helps him

4. Angel will freak out if someone refers to him as Anthony as currently only Val knows that's his real name

[the-s1lly-corner]

*explodes into your request box*

HEY HEY HEY, im back.

Came to ask an platonic Child!reader with the rest of the gang.

BUT HEAR ME OUT

Child reader is like an wolf in sheep's clothing, like reader has an cute expression on their face but when someone tries to touch them, they'll go like: "touch me and ill rip your hand off" in a full innocent voice and that cute smile.

And child reader has shark teeth.

Tyy!

*explodes*

- 🦭

The cast x child!reader (platonic)

throwing this together after waking up from a really nice nap! i still have the kinger request to work on but my brains still stumped.. sobs.. requests are still open by the way! you can find the link to my rules in my previous post, or you can look in my pinned! :O apologies if some sections for the characters are a little short, my brains still a lil okfvokffvovf from waking up TToTT

CAINE:

a child? in the circus?

he doesnt quite know how to make of it, i mean... its not like he has to make any accommodations, the circus is a place for all ages afterall!

i give you this new concept: dad caine

lightly scolds you when you threaten someone, bad manners!

i think he would be like a stereotypical eccentric dad

in house adventures seem to tone down just a touch so theyre not too intense or dangerous for you, keeps an eye on you to make sure you dont get stuck anywhere or flung across the room

rip bubble, you probably pop them when theyre within a foot of you

pinches your cheek only to have his hand comically chomped off ("now now (reader)! what did i tell you about biting! time out!)

POMNI:

similar confusion that caine has, but like, more so

how did a kid even get their hands on one of the headsets??

honestly i think pomni might be the type to be uncomfortable around kids; she doesnt hate them she just doesnt know what to do with them

also kids can possess a different kind of cruelness when they really put their minds to it and shes already in a mentally precarious position as it is

she doesnt avoid you though!

was bitten a grand total of one times, she made the mistake of trying to take you somewhere during an IHA and she didnt make you aware that she was going to put her hand on your shoulder

JAX:

okay you cant swear in the circus, but i feel like jax has some very creative ways to work around that, making these new colorful euphemisms that dont skip out on the crudeness. he teaches you some of his favorites just to watch the world burn

lightning fast reflexes, should you try to bite or hit him; not that hes going to try to put his hands on you

actually

i can see him picking you up via scooping his hands under your arms, or literally just holding you up by the scruff of your next

congrats theres now the image of jax holding a flailing sheep child in our heads. his shins will be kicked in the second you get put down

thinks its funny when people have to do double takes when you let out a threat or say something dark

RAGATHA:

i think she would be a cool babysitter, or big sister figure to you

similar to caine she will lightly scold you when you're being 'rude'

doesnt try to figure out why you dont like being touched, also respects it. respects your space as well, she doesnt totally baby you

she is a little sad that a kid so young got stuck in the digital world, though

even if you could remember things, i dont think she would ask out of fear of possibly upsetting you

likes making you little things (small pillows, plushes, ect) since i can see her being into sewing.. might be because shes a doll, though

KINGER:

i said it once and ill say it again, kinger is dad. like i already hc he had kids before getting stuck in the digital world, but i also like to hc that he and gangle have a dad/kid relationship, at least when kinger was less... paranoid

like he still has the capacity to be a father figure to you, but i think with you being a little... ermrmfl.. he might be a little put off

tells you stories about "being a king" (ie embellishing the one time he was put in charge during an IHA ages ago) and tells you about some previous in house adventures

youre so short he genuinely doesnt see you approaching sometimes so he either gets jumpscared by you or literally trips over you on accident

is so so apologetic once he gets over the initial shock of suddenly meeting the floor

really if you follow this guy around and show interest in his interests hes gonna adopt you

he knows your threats arent empty, even if they arent hes not going to try to find out

ZOOBLE:

zooble seems like the type of person to find some vague amusement in kids swearing or saying out of pocket stuff, i cant explain why

cant teach you swear words thanks to the censoring of the digital world but hey... they can still spell it out...

honestly i hc that zooble themselves doesnt like being touched so hey you dont have to worry about that, they personally get it

cool older sibling energy. while ragatha gives off sweet n caring older sister, zooble gives off the energy of a cool older sibling who like. idfk skateboards or something

zooble skateboarding real

not much else to say here

GANGLE:

similar to pomnis but this is more so because gangle is intimidated by other people thanks to her shyness!

i think gangle would be in the same boat as you and zooble, in terms of touching, but in gangles case its because shes made of ribbon and thus can be pushed around very easily

would cry on the off chance you snap at her :(

she lets you into her room sometimes to let you draw with her! kids like drawing right?

thats her reasoning, at least

i mean hey, it gives you something to do and gives you a break from all the chaos

actually pretty okay when her comedy mask isnt broken, actually makes an attempt to properly get to know you and crack a few jokes

[phazepheonix]

Dteam's injuries

Sapnap needed to have his left arm amputated at the elbow as the net the pair were tangled in was so tight it had cut off blood flow and the arm began to die. Though the rescue tried their best the arm was just too far gone. This also makes him unsuitable for release.

When sapnap has his arm amputated he has to wear a silicone covering to keep the stitches dry and clean but he HATES it and tried to take it off for the entire time it was on. But because of that the vets made a tamper proof one that he couldn't take off without a special tool so he sulks in their burrow for like 2 months until the cover can come off.

It was a pain to get him out of the burrow once he's healed and the cover can come off, they bribed Dream with salmon to get sapnap out of the burrow and into the collection net, Sapnap was mad at Dream for a while but he saved a piece of salmon for when sap returns so he was then forgiven fairly quickly. Sapnap also knew Dream felt bad and saw the salmon as an apology and accepted.

Dream had gotten lucky, he only lost a few of his tentacles around half way and was also in much better health than sapnap at the time of rescue, though not by much.

They both suffered minor sun burns from lying in the shallow waters as well as some bruising from the netting, the pair were also slightly underweight from being unable to hunt for a few days. This was minor however and they gained weight back very quickly.

George is arguably the worst of the three, he lost his dorsal fin to the shark fin trade but escaped before any more could be cut off. After throwing himself back overboard he crawled on the sea bed for days, being constantly bitten by other sharks looking for an easy meal. He washes up on a beach in Indonesia bleeding heavily and battling a huge infection as well as being incredibly malnourished which takes a little longer to resolve than dnap's.

[lullabyes22-blog]

Snippet - Breathe - Forward but Never Forget/XOXO

Vi goes against her old grudges.

Forward but Never Forget/XOXO

More Fanfic + Tidbits

Tip Jar

Snippet:

The answers don't come.

All Vi knows is this: the longer she stands there, the more likely someone's going to find her. She needs to go. Right fucking now.

A heartbeat later, a body rolls up to the surface.

The warmason.

He is thrashing, clawing for the basin's rim. The moment his hands seize the ebony ledge, he tries to haul himself up and out. Then the water spumes red, and a half-throttled scream tears loose from his throat. Beneath the water line, more red bubbles thickly black. The warmason's eyes bulge; his face goes from puce to gray. His legs kick frenziedly. A hidden force drags him back under.

This time, there are no ripples. Only deathly stillness. The water is as black as an oil-slick.

A minute passes. Two. Vi's eyes track back and forth, but nothing emerges.

Now's your chance.

They've drowned each other. They're dead.

Get gone—before you are too.

Except Vi isn’t bolting for the exit. She is lunging for the pool.

She doesn't think. A single eyeblink, and her helmet's off, the gun tossed aside. She leaps over the edge of the basin, and straight in. The first hot shock of the water makes her gasp. She plunges through the red-tinged waves stirred by the struggling bodies. Her legs kick; her torso arrows down, down, down  

It's dark.

The blood in the water stings her eyes. The chemical undercurrent of Shimmer burns her nostrils. An aftertaste, fouler, lingers in her mouth. Three potential corpses and Janna-knows-what are emptied into the water, and Vi can't see a damn thing. She can only feel around blindly, lungs screaming, revulsion riding a rill of bubbles to the surface. 

Her fingers touch against something cold and hard. It's like getting bitten by an eel. Vi's first reflex is to jerk away, but she forces her arm to stay put. Her hand curls around a wrist. No way to know who it belongs to. Grabbing hold, she tugs. The weight drags her down. She tugs harder. There is a sensation of two bodies, latched together, but loosely. The heavier of the two is anchored to the bottom. One final tug, and Vi feels the resistance slacken. The second body—the lighter one—comes loose. She kicks upward.

Cresting to the pool's surface is like swallowing sweet wine after a mouthful of rot-gut. Vi's head breaks above the waterline, and she gulps breath after breath. In her arms, a body floats bonelessly. Silco, head lolling, face upturned. His good eyelid is crimped shut. The shark-eye kicks off an irradiated glow.

The after-kick of Shimmer, or a death-flare?

Vi has no idea.

Treading the water, she hooks her arms under his armpits and yanks him to the pool's edge. He is heavy; waterlogged, his body's density seems to have quadrupled. It's no small feat to haul him up and over the pool's slick marble ledge, but she manages.

Dragging him higher, she lays him out prone, the length of his body flat along the tiles.

He is bare-chested and shoeless. His trousers adhere to his legs, molded tight as clingfilm. His skin is the color of marble, and about the same temperature. The Bowie knife, his favorite murder weapon, is still gripped loosely in one fist.

Vi's fingers go to the pulse at his throat. She finds it racing: a whipsaw's tempo. There's a pallor to his face that resembles a hardboiled egg, the shell shucked, a stillborn chick inside.  His lips are flaky white, and his body is shivering violently, and there are bruises deepening everywhere. The nastiest is a livid mottle at the juncture of his collarbone and his sternum. Another, seeping blood, blotches his scarred temple.  

Vi doesn't want to consider the possibility of brain damage, or how much Shimmer-infused water he's quaffed, or what he was doing fighting a Noxian warmason.  She hopes to Janna nothing's hit his frontal lobe and robbed him of—what?

His ever-flapping mouth? His unparalleled gift for double-dealing? His unerring instinct to put a boot up her ass?

His old self.

Blut.

Vi's gut heaves. He's a bastard. A murderous, lying, backstabbing bastard. And he'd probably kill her, if their roles were reversed.

But no one deserves to drown.

Her hands, of their own volition, work the wet hair back from his brow. His skin is clammy like weeping cinderblock. The rest of him's nearly as leaden. With two fingers, she roots through his mouth for obstructions. Then, she pinches his nose shut, seals her lips over his, and breathes.

One breath. Two. She repeats the process.

Not a spasm or a twitch.

Vi's own breath jitters as adrenaline redlines. She can already see the night barreling toward the doomed fallout: Zaun's Chancellor, discovered dead in the hot-house. His murderer, caught in the act. Her fingerprints all over his cooling corpse. Sevika, the Council, Topside's cream and the Undercity's scum, all united in their desire to see her dead.

And Jinx.

Robbed of a sister, and a father, all in one blow.

Fuck.

Silco's good eye stays sealed shut. The bad one stares up from its web of scar tissue: a dead thing in a bed of calcified coral. His mouth on hers tastes of metal and brine. Vi is close enough that she can see the fine tracery of blood vessels branching below the translucent skin of his temples. The man who'd once taught her to sing The Wave-Soaked Maiden—and here she is, trying to pour air into his stoppered-up lungs.

Again, again, and again.

"Breathe." Her hands pump his sternum. "C’mon, you rat bastard. Breathe."

[macabr3-barbi3]

if this isn’t your thing i totally get it… but could you do a fic where alastor finds and adopts a stray cat? i just really want to see him interact with animals; i think he’d treat them like the egg boys lol 😂

literally took me a month I'm so sorry but HERE'S ALASTOR WITH A LITTLE GUY 💕🐈 short and sweet!

Alastor brushes his hands off on his trousers, stepping away from the remains of the demon that lay bleeding on the floor of the alley. When would the denizens learn that he was not to be trifled with on a whim? He toes the body with a distasteful glance- another of those gaudy shark demons, hardly even worth a nibble. A waste, truly, but perhaps he could take some of the flesh home, throw it into a stew with some proper venison like a ‘surf and turf’ of sorts-

A tiny pathetic noise distracts him, and he looks over to see what almost looks like a kitten emerge from behind a dumpster, brown and orange fur patchy and ruined, a clip in its ear. It mewls at him, eyes earnest, and glances over to the body of the demon like it was asking for permission.

“Oh, by all means, little one!” He gestures to the fresh corpse and the creature seems to understand, trotting across the alley and lapping at the pool of blood before digging into the arm of the demon. Alastor watches silently for a moment until the little thing seems to almost be choking itself with its fervor, and he reaches a hand out to wrap about the kitten’s middle and pull it away, to at least swallow before resuming. Honestly, it felt like he was the only person in Pentagram City with manners anymore.

It resists, sinking its teeth further into the flesh. Alastor gives a firm tug, pulls the creature away from its meal, and the blasted thing turns on him, tiny needle sharp claws digging into his wrist and teeth clamping down on his thumb.

Despite the vague anger at being bitten- he had been trying to help the little bastard, after all- he can’t help but admire the tenacity. He releases the thing, lets it drop atop the body of the shark demon, and with the shock of the fall it transforms, body shifting into a strangely colored cardboard box reminiscent of one nearby in the alley, tumbling off the body to the asphalt.

Alastor is fascinated as the creature shifts back, once more becoming cat-esque and clambering back onto the body, mouth again reattaching to the meat of it. He waits until it has eaten its fill and it approaches him, rubbing against the fabric of his trousers and vibrating with something almost like a purr- a little deeper, more of a shake than a vibration. He reaches down and grabs it, brings it up to inspect. He can see now that the features of a true feline are not correct- there are no whiskers, the mouth is a tad too wide, the ears situated a little lower than they would be on Husk, for example. Like it had tried to imitate a true cat but couldn’t quite make the cut. The thing watches him closely, seems to understand that it’s being inspected.

“What a curious creature you are!” He crouches low and sets the beast down on the asphalt. It seems to understand him so he addresses it directly. “What else can you do?” He spends a few minutes conjuring items for the animal to recreate- it’s always just a tad off from what it should be, but Alastor is delighted to see that the items still function as they should for the most part. He ends the test with a small radio, cathedral style, and the teeth of the creature reflect in the patterning on the wood, nose elongating into the display and eyes becoming the dials. It puts up a minor bit of resistance to Alastor fiddling with the latter, but when music emerges it acquiesces, the not-quite-purr adding a nice reverb to the tone of the song.

It shifts back into a cat-like being and watches him with dark eyes as he scoops it up off the ground and deposits it into his pocket.

He fades into the shadows and reemerges in the hotel, dropping the kitten thing on the bar to stare at Husk while he grabs himself a glass of whiskey.

“The fuck is this?” Husk stares aghast at the thing, which lets out a hiss like an eldritch horror and spits at the bartender, fur raising like it means to strike.

Alastor is delighted. “This is Duke,” he says, having decided on the name in the moment after one of his favorite musicians of his own time. “If Angel Dust is allowed to keep that filthy pig creature in his room I, as the Hotelier, should be permitted to keep my own little pet.”

“That mean you’ll finally leave me the fuck alone if ya got another cat?”

He reaches out to tousle Husk’s fur, the cat scowling and batting him away. “No need to be jealous, dear Husker! I’m happy to find you more tasks around the hotel if you find my attention on you to be lacking. Duke here is merely for entertainment!”

“Right. Charlie know about this thing yet?”

“They’re a new addition to my inner circle,” Alastor says. “I’m sure Charlotte will have no issues with my keeping of a companion, and they will not stray from the Hotel.”

Husk sneers at the tiny creature, which in turn hisses at him again and puffs up, headbutting a nearby glass and sending it hurtling to the floor where it shatters. “Goddamn- keep that fuckin’ thing away from the bar!” Husk shouts, and Alastor scoops Duke up with a tentacle to deposit him back into his arms, making his way to his own bedroom before setting the cat creature down on the floor.

“You’re free to use this space as your own,” he tells it, gesturing to the room at large as well as the bayou dimension. Duke hops up onto the armchair by the fire, climbing onto the back of it to stare at him. “There are creatures that can be chased in the woods, but I warn you; they don’t taste quite as soon as the real thing! Perhaps I’ll take you out hunting with me on occasion, how does that sound?” 

Duke lets out the almost-purr noise again, grating and vibrational, and allows Alastor to sit in the seat below him, curling up in his lap. Unexpected, but Alastor will permit it- he will need to get used to the usual behaviors of being a ‘pet-owner’ if the Princess is to let him keep the tiny creature. He pets a hand down the feline and it stretches, rolls onto its back, and stills, the Radio Demon watching with a content smile.

[cat-mentality]

Back on with my silly qsmp headcanons with zero evidences in canon!!!

The English version:

Foolish has never once in his life tried to pretend to be human, yet people just genuinely think he is like that(tm) and don't question anything he does

As he has shark dna Foolish doesn't need to blink as often as a human, he is therefore great at staring contests (it freaks the fuck out of everyone)

Foolish and Bad keep an score of how many times they have killed each other just to have bragging rights

They have never give an straight answer when someone asks if they have fucked in the past

Bad sings in the shower

Fit is just a regular human but no one believes him when he says it, they all just think he is hiding his true self and he has received MANY talks about "embracing yourself"

Jaiden trauma dumps by accident. She will be having a perfectly normal conversation and then mention something horrible from her past without even meaning to.

Slime can't read a room to save his life, if embarrassement could kill that would be his main cause of death

He once lost control of his human form and left slime goo all over Wilbur right before a concert

Wilbur cannot handle spice.

Neither can Philza actually.

Niki in other hand has bitten peppers before and snacked on them.

Mouse is very open about the fact that she is a demon and she is very pleased that everyone on the Island just takes it in stride, since usually it freaks people out

Mouse is not saying she has partaken in eating human flesh before, but she is also not denying it.

Lenay has a criminal record. No one knows why and she has never answered either.

Tubbo talks with his machines and it freaked him the fuck out when they started to answer him (It's Arin and he is loving this new kid)

Quackity and Mouse once entered a competition on who could hold their breath for longer (The both passed out)

Philza thinks every sickness can be fixed with avocado toast and he will recomend it as legitimate medical treatment

Jaiden talks with parrots and they keep her on loop of all the gossip on the Island

It took Tina literally invoking the powers of hell to people realize she is a demon and not a rabbit hybrid and Mouse was incredibly excited to have a demon bestie

Foolish is in fact jealous

Niki is such a good baker that she has made people cry by how good her food is

Fit spends a lot of his time running around Tubbo and stopping him from poking where he shouldn't, Philza is just glad he has someone to share the babysitting duty

Slime is a light weight, one glass of wine and the man is gone

Niki is an lynx hybrid and she has hissed at people before. She also can sort of understand cats and they follow her around a lot.

Fit is in fact allergic to cats but every cat on the Island seems to really love him

Slime needs his glasses less than his bitch wife so he will sometimes take them off, but it causes a lot of confusion because people fail to recognize him without them

Lenay has a terrible sense of direction, she is just better at following people and hoping for the best

Philza's crows really like both Fit and Tubbo and will sometimes follow them around but get sometimes annoyed that they wouldn't understand them

Bad and Philza were coworkers for a time

Jaiden can't dance but she sure as hell likes to try

Lenay on the other hand is a good dancer but she doesn't usually do it

Tubbo is actually a duck hybrid but literally no ones believes him when he tells them that because all the ducks on the Island hate him

He falls asleep on the most random spots ever because it's less sleeping and more crashing, he doesn't even know where his bed is

Fit will sometimes thrown his mechanical arm at people. No reason but that he felt like doing it.

Bad uses his tail to hit people when they are being annoying.

Foolish once bite his tail in retaliation.

[base0h]

Hiii :D

Wanna req some modern au Kid, Mihawk and Shanks with a s/o who always manages to zone out at the worst time possible, (like they're driving and stopped at a red light, not realizing that what seemed a moment later the light turned green and everyone is beeping at them or they're being late, smth distracts them and they literally just freeze in place lost in the most off topic thoughts ever) hcs or scenario, all's good with me gosh I zone out way too much

Gosh sorry for the long ask and since I'm here I just might remind you to go drink some water and take care of yourself, cuz we need ya and your hilarious writings here, to brighten up our days yk? ( ˙꒳​˙ )

love ya <3

a/n - ERROR HOW HAVE I BEEN LAUGHING FOR A SOLID TEN MINUTES AT THIS ASK SUEBDHBDHDBD 😭😭😭😭 awww I’m so glad that I can brighten up your guys’ days that really brightens mine 🥺💜💜

Warnings ⚠️ - cracky, g/n reader, modern au, shanks doesn’t have an arm (let’s just say it got bitten off by a shark because he thought drinking beer while surfing was a brilliant idea)

- watch him ban you from driving 💀

- last time you decided to drive to a coffee shop was the last straw for the poor man

- “Y/n please keep your eyes on the road.”

- *minute passes, now it’s a green light*

- he’s looking at a newspaper while people behind you guys are honking

- you had taken sight of a beautiful monarch butterfly, cruising around just outside your window

- you didn’t even realize the light had turned green

- Mihawk was about to get out of the car and go punch some people for honking but then he realized the light had been green for minutes, and you two were holding up the biggest line of cars he’d ever seen

- “Y/n! It’s green-!”

- He undid his seatbelt and climbed into the seat with you, hitting his head on the ceiling while simultaneously giving himself a bad back

- he pressed the gas while you stared at the butterfly, and you snapped out of it when you realized the car was moving, and Mihawk’s huge ass was right in front of your face

- “Mihawk what are you doing-“

- he sighed and kept driving forward until the light from before turned red right as he started going

- Cars from the right were about to crash into you too when you started screaming at him to go faster

- “MIHAWK GO GO GO GO GO-!”

- “THIS DAMN CAR WONT GO ANY FASTER! GET ON MY LEFT SIDE!”

- he was saying that to protect you, so that he would take most of the damage if you both were hit

- Luckily, you two made it to the next intersection just before getting hit, and there was a long silence in the car on the way home

- “… you’re banned from driving.”

- “BUT-“ “I don’t want to hear it.”

- “thank you for protecting me, don’t pretend like you didn’t do that 😏”

- “😐😑😐”

- he ignored you for about an hour after that (he wasn’t mad, just terrified)

- shanks is a horrible driver himself, so he gets it! He’s usually drunk while driving anyways!

- zoning out is totally fine because usually he’ll just stare at you and think about how beautiful/handsome you are 🥰

- today you both were driving to a movie, you had gotten a nice cup of coffee just before as well :)

- shanks was staring at his phone, struggling to figure out where the fuck he put the tickets

- you saw the most awesome skateboarder who was doing tricks along the sidewalk, and you managed to turn sharp left, almost straight into the sidewalk

- shanks immediately grabbed the wheel with his arm and swerved back, but the absolute boiling hot coffee cup was slipping through your grip

- poor shanks saw that and was starting to panic

- “Baby i only got ONE ARM-“

- the hot coffee spilled all over his lap and this idiot started screaming at the top of his lungs

- “BABE MY BALLS ARE GOING TO MELT WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS IT SO HOT?”

- bigass man baby woke you up and you started driving normally again, apologizing to your almost crying boyfriend for zoning out

- “My dick hurts.”

- “Please don’t ever say that again.”

- “BUT IT’S TRUE?? IT HURTS LIKE- HELL!”

- “also what were you looking at out there?”

- “some cool skateboarding guy.”

- excuse me-??

- “A guy?..”.

- “THATS WHY YOU BURNED MY COCK OFF BABE?! AM I NOT PRETTY ENOUGH?!”

- he started shaking your arm and you were literally about to crash, “SHANKS STOP IM GOING TO CRASH!”

- pls he’s a terrible driver just because of the fact that he will literally scream and flip someone off for not using their turn signal

- I imagine him to obey every single driving law except for the one “don’t be a fucking asshole”

- he oftentimes will ask for your help when he’s building stuff, like asking for tools and such

- “babe hand me the wrench.”

- “hammer.”

- “nails.”

- “water.”

- that’s basically what your job is. 💀

- he was welding today, and needed your help to place something at just the right time so he wouldn’t either burn your apartment down or burn his arm off

- “Babe, need it now.”

- you were tuned out completely, and of course at the absolute perfect time 🙂

- “babe.”

- he waved his other hand in front of your face to try and get your attention but that didn’t seem to work

- “Y/N L/N HELLO?!”

- kaboom

- smoke filled the room as you coughed and grabbed the thing you were supposed to hand him

- “Kidd you need this thingy yet??”

- …

- your audacity.

- his sllooooooooow turn of his head

- his face was stained with black smoke, a nail shooting out of his work and hitting him in the forehead as he stared down at you with the most dead expression

- you were dead. so dead.

a/n - not me being a little cheeky shit and giggling at my own writing 💀

[snexy-the-snail]

Oops I made it sad

Oops I made it sad

"I'm going to stop wearing these pjs I swear to the gods." Percy grumbles under his breath. Sure it was noon, the middle of the day and he probably should've put day clothes on but pjs were comfy. Besides he wasn't instructing the younger campers through learning how to use a sword so might as well have fun.

That however came at the cost of a god showing up. "What? What's wrong with the sharks, I think they're fun." Apollo asks with a grin. He and Hermes both had the same mischievous grin, he wondered where they got it from. Zeus? The idea seemed laughable.

"The problem is that you're here." He says crossing his arms. He wasn't even sure what Apollo wanted yet but he knew it was something. "Awe, no love for me? I heard from Hermes you were much nicer to him."

Percy narrows his eyes at that, unease building up. "Why are you here?" He asks firmly, tensing up. He really didn't have a good feeling about this. Like at all.

"Oh you know, concern for my little cuz. Heard you're not sleeping well, and I've got a sweet little trick that can help." Apollo grins taking a step forward, amusement glinting in his eyes.

Oh. Hades. No.

"Apollo I swear- don't even think about it." Percy hisses out. He felt a tad cornered even if nothing but the forest was behind him. What was it with random God's deciding he'd make a perfect snack.

With each step back, the taller Apollo got which only furthered his suspicions of what was going to happen. He was not below stabbing a god. "Oh come on, you need rest, I'm a bit curious how a sea kid tastes. It's a win win."

"Sides you let Hermes do it."

Percy scoffs, his body screaming at him to run. He very much didn't like this, his nerves alight with the need to get away. He wasn't trapped, he was fine. He could run off at any time.

"I know Hermes a little better than you." He points out. The who Luke situation made it hard not to know Hermes. Who knew Apollo might care about him too but Percy was getting tired of being shoved into unfamiliar territory.

"Perfect opportunity then don't you think?" Apollo practically purrs, his eyes shining with amusement. His heart started to pound in his chest, the air in his lungs wasn't enough suddenly. "Inside is so cool, just let me eat you post hast, I won't even drool."

"Ugh seriously, don't make this into a haiku." Percy groans. It was bad enough Annabeth had showed him the orientation film with Apollos little solo. He tenses when he Apollo reaches out for him his mind going blank. The god was saying something but the blood rushing in his ears made it impossible to process it.

All he knew was he wasn't letting this happen. He didn't want it to happen. The next thing he knew Apollo yowled in pain and a weird sickly sweet taste flooded into his mouth. He just bit down harder, clenching his jaw as tight as possible.

Everything was blank after that.

He kept his teeth sunk into whatever he had bitten.

Poseidon was not expecting a call from Apollo. It was unsure and skittish when only made him more confused as to what the younger god needed. Until he appeared next to Apollo and saw his sons jaws firmly sunk into the sun gods arm, hands gripping tightly onto the flesh as well.

"So. I ah.. I have an explanation." Apollo says sheepishly, Poseidon crouching next to his son, slipping his hands over the boys, gently guiding them down to his sides. "I'd like to hear it."

Even to him his tone sounded a tad too sharp, but given that Percy had practically latched onto the God like a feral shark pup something had to have happened.

"Just know Hermes did it first!" The god blurts out, Poseidon frowning as he runs his hand through his sons hair, murmuring a reassurance. "You're safe Percy, there's no need for teeth."

"And I didn't realize he'd react like this- but ah right-" Apollo says with a wince when Poseidon gives him a look. "He needs a god to sleep without nightmares and we all know he's not sleeping enough. So forced nap time seemed like a good idea."

If any demigod saw the waters nearly exploded into massive waves they sure as shit didn't stick around to figure out why Poseidon was upset.

"Like I said! I didn't realize he'd react this way."

Deep breaths. He couldn't help his son if he was angry. Poseidon let a breath out, trying to coax Percy to let go. Not answering for a moment. He didn't trust himself to answer.

Finally the boy's stubborn grip loosened and he managed to pull the demigod back into his arms. He tucks his son against his chest just holding him close. "It is not your place. It is not Hermes place either, to care for my son. That falls to me."

Percy leans into his touch, a small shiver running through the boy before he felt hands gripping his shirt with just as tight as a grip as he had on Apollo. "Dad?" Came a whispered reply, sounding slightly hoarse as if the boy just had come to his senses..which he probably had.

"I understand. It won't happened again just.. look out for him. A little closer maybe? No mortal is meant to..survive down there" Apollo murmurs looking away. He had the decency to look ashamed, which good. Poseidon wasn't exactly keen on sharing his son.

"It falls to me." He repeats before focusing his attention on his boy. He sighs, looking down at the dazed face of his son. "You're alright, I'm here." He soothes, wiping the golden inchor dribbling down the boys chin. "I've got you."

[tennessoui]

first of all happy mayday and then also happy mermay

so au where anakin, human, falls in love with padmé, young mermaid queen of atlantis, and he finds a way to become a merman to be with her (she helps him because she's a queen lol it takes a bit of political maneuvering to get the sea witch to do the magic and ok now the sith have a small piece of their own territory in atlantis but it's worth it because they get to be together) but now someone has to show anakin how to be a merperson because it's not intuitive and he's really fucking bad at it like 'got his arm bitten off by a shark because he couldn't figure out how to swim faster that the shark' bad at it

and padmé is much too busy being queen and preparing for their wedding ceremony so...enter her most trusted advisor, obi-wan kenobi

obi-wan doesn't know what he did to deserve this sort of punishment. it's bad enough that the queen went rogue like this, gave the sith their own legitimate territory, and messed with dark magic just to get some tail (lol) but now obi-wan has to deal with it?? obi-wan has to teach anakin how to swim? the correct titles of their royals and how to pronounce them? the correct way to eat? obi-wan has to show him how to dress and deal with his sometimes surly countenance and his incessant need to touch everything he sees, up to and including the bright blue scales of obi-wan's fins--something only mates are supposed to touch??? obi-wan has to put his hands on anakin's waist and move his body to pump up and down and not side to side as humans walk??? obi-wan must carefully brush out his hair and treat it with their special concoctions so as to preserve its curl despite being underwater all the time now???

(they definitely fall in love which makes them both feel very, very guilty, except the truth is anakin and padmé's match is less true love and more fleeting infatuation now that they get to spend longer than a few seconds together)

[dadvans]

tease tidbit tuesday

tagged by @tiltingheartand, thank you! from an almost finished Tommy POV

They go surfing. Well, Evan surfs, and Tommy just kind of chills from the beach and gets a nice tan. It’s fun to watch Evan show off. He’s still baby deer nervous sometimes with Tommy, like he’s relearning how to walk, or like Tommy is the proctor of a Good Bisexual test, and Evan’s trying a little too hard to pass. But on the water it all fades away as all the overthinking he does melts off him, riding down the line.

He comes out of the water goofy on endorphins after a few waves and collapses cold and wet from the ocean on Tommy, who is warm and dry on his towel, smothering him with a kiss.

“You sure you don’t want a lesson? I’ve been told I’m a very capable teacher,” Evan says, voice dripping suggestively. “Worked my way up and down a few coastlines, you know.”

Tommy likes this side of Evan when Evan lets it out. Maybe they need to go to the beach more, even if he doesn’t really care about getting in the water. “Nah, I’d be shark bait out there.”

Evan rolls his eyes and zips open his wetsuit, peeling it off so the arms hang loose at his hips. “Chances of a shark attack are less than one in three million. You have a higher chance of getting struck by lightning.”

“Should I be worried about you then?” One of the first things Tommy learned about Evan before he really knew him was that the kid was kind of a disaster magnet. What’s the probability of being bitten by a shark when you’ve already been struck by lightning?

“You don’t need to worry about me, not out there anyway,” Evan says with a gentle tilt of his head toward the ocean. He’s delusional. Tommy likes him so much. “Kind of feel like you might have jinxed a second ride out today though. Wanna get lunch instead?”

They wind up at the good kind of greasy seaside bar. Tommy gets the fish tacos that came recommended, but Evan is making love to an oyster po’ boy with his mouth.

“You know,” Evan says, licking at the mayo clinging to the corner of his lips, “I totally fell for the idea of being a pick up artist when I heard about it in high school. Always tried finding new ways to get with girls. I read up on aphrodisiacs once.”

“Are you trying to seduce me, Evan Buckley?” Tommy asks wryly, staring at the half-chewed fried oyster hanging out of his sandwich.

“Nah, turns out it’s all bullshit. Found that out after I took my prom date to this seafood place and ordered us a dozen raw in the half shell thinking maybe I’d get lucky. I looked up at her after slurping down three of them, and you should’ve seen the look on her face. I thought she was gonna puke.”

Tommy snorts the sip of water he was taking back out onto the bar.

“The only natural aphrodisiac I can think of that isn’t like”—Evan lifts his own beer—“or a party drug is ambergris, which is kind of like whale shit, but not really. It’s illegal in the states though.”

“Evan, I’m eating,” Tommy says, but he’s laughing.

Evan, oblivious, continues, “They say it smells like shit on its own too, but something about it has them putting it in perfumes. I can’t remember what. Can you imagine if I showed up caked in whale shit for a date though?”

Tommy looks at him and Evan stares back, smile half-knowing and all hopeful, waiting for anything Tommy is willing to give him.

Just for that, Tommy doesn’t call bullshit. He says, “You think you’re hilarious,” and Evan shrugs, happily taking another bite of his po’ boy.

tagging: @thekookster @plethoriall @marmolita @al-the-remix @rcmclachlan

[the-travelling-witch]

Hello ^-^, I really love the way you write Jade.

I just read your "You light up my World" fic (I just love fics with the twin in their merform in general) and it reminded me of a fanfic idea I once had. I read that you don’t take requests but that we can send you ideas. So I thought that as a fellow Jade lover maybe you would like this scenario as well. And if you're a fan of angst/comfort ;)

"Jade going swimming with his human s/o in the coral sea or visiting his hometown, a beach etc. Then at some point s/o gets attacked by a shark (preferable without any bitten off body parts) and Jade protects them."

[re: you light up my world]

ahhhh thank you so much!! you may have heard of the saying that the way to a man’s heart is through the stomach, but the way to my heart is through telling me you enjoy the way i write characters >///<

speaking of my heart, these slimy tweels have wormed their way in there and i can’t see them getting out anytime soon (not that i’d want them too ofc)

and thank you so much for reading and respecting my rules!! it sounds like such a normal thing but you’d be surprised, so thanks!! ^^;

also yes i am your resident angst enjoyer and have killed both the character and the reader-insert on more than one occasion, so maybe the body part thing is a good thing to tell me; i unfortunately don’t have much time to write in general atm, so i’ll just give my first impressions and thoughts on the scenario you provided

needless to say, i’ve made up soooo many self-ship scenarios where i get to visit the twin’s home, we needed a coral sea hometown event like yesterday

to say that jade would be ecstatic to show you his home would be an understatement, though of course it is as always masked behind a carefully calm demeanour.

he’d love showing you around the place he grew up in, from his room, to his “house”, to abandoned shipwrecks he used to play in and his old school where the twins met azul.

all the while, he’s grinning as he pulls you along, even more subject to going along with his whims now that you’re reliant on him to get around. not that he minds, of course, no the notion that you’re helpless without him… would admitting that it excites him make him a bad person? fufufu, most people seem to think of him as such already, so he might as well indulge, right?

actually, it’s kind of unthinkable that jade would leave you alone for long enough in an area where you could be attacked and he has more foresight and strength than to let something like the current rip you away from him.

but the fact is, it did happen and figuring out who or what to blame for the situation is the last thing on either of your minds as the dark grey body looms above you.

so far you’ve very narrowly avoided the predator, only grazing your arm on its sharp teeth but the pain and the bone-chilling crunch of its jaw snapping something else in half send waves of adrenaline through your body. you have to calm down, you know that, or you scared mind will make reckless decisions but that thought just panics you more to the point where you heart feels like it’ll jump out your chest.

in a morbid stroke of luck, however, there’s someone who knows the smell of your blood far better than any common shark could and he latches on with frightening precision. sure, jade might not be able to deter the shark on size alone but he is fast and uses its fixation on you to drag his sharp claws over the side of the shark’s face, darkening the waters with more blood before the shark swims off with its injured eye.

to you the resolution feels too quick, the threat too fast gone for the feeling of imminent death that ensnared your heart seconds ago. jade, who is used to the violence of his home, very carefully loops around you in the familiar way he always does, giving you something to ground yourself on as he stirs you away from the incident site.

by the time you arrive at his home and your wounds are dressed, you’ve calmed down enough to actually process what had happened and you tear up in residual fear. despite your environment, jaded notices and curls around you protectively, holding you and stroking his webbed hands down your trembling back.

it’s only when you start apologising for not being careful enough, that you endangered him too when you scarped your hand on an old nail that he gently shushes you. instead, he offers his own apologies for not being there to protect you in the first place and how the responsibility naturally falls to him considering you are way outside of your element.

for the rest of your stay, jade is even more careful with you, opting to show you around the shallower parts of the coral sea. not only are the bright waters around the atlantica museum a very pretty sight or stargazing from the ocean shore a lovely date idea, there are also far less dangers around and most creatures are way more scared of jade up here.

the moray is also even more attached to your side now than before (you didn’t think it was possible but here you are). determined not to let your stay in the coral sea be tainted by this incident, he’ll do all the safe activities with you to calm down; be it hand making jewellery from shells and pearls you’ve collected or looking at the bright and colourful plants and schools of fish around.

yes, jade is used to the violence of the deep sea. and yes, normally, it always thrilled him. however, he managed to find something so precious none of the treasures sunken to the sandy ocean floor can compare and he’s determined to keep you by his side.

[sleepyfan-blog]

Pattern Recognition

Author’s Note: this is the second part of mer-Sirass fic!  Previous.

Next

Tagged: @egrets-not-regrets @kit-williams @bleedingichorhearts @the-pure-angel 

Warnings: mention of illness and parasites (fish variety) 

Summary: Sirass figures out the cause of the sick reef.

Sirass glared down at his bonded, arms folded over his chest as he looks down at you “And why do you not want me to come with you while you are inspecting the sickened reef?”

You sigh and remind him “You can read through the data that we've recorded, collate it and find connections between different incidents much faster than any of the rest of our team. That and… The Reef and the fish and other sea life who depend on it are getting much sicker over the past several months. The number of parasites and sheer variety of them is unlike anything any of us have ever seen. I… I know that you have an incredible immune system and that your armor somehow helps you to survive the depths of space… But-” you reach out and lightly touch the grumpy Iron Warrior's hand with one of your own, squeezing gently “I worry about you. We don't know the source behind these sicknesses. I would feel awful if You came down with something while helping me with this issue.”

“What about you? I know that you've told me that aquatic diseases can't affect you, and that threatened aquatic parasites are unable to penetrate through your swimming gear, but I want to be there to protect you. Besides, despite my many excellent skills, data processing is best left to-” Sirass grumbled before he stopped talking mid-sentence, as a horrified expression appeared on his face.

He swum through the air as fast as he could, large form blurring for several moments as he picked up a damaged piece of diving equipment. His fingers shook a little as he inspected it, face pale and expression unreadable “Do you know how this happened?”

“Yes, Doctor Alenfil had to do an emergency evac to the surface a couple of hours ago after his equipment started malfunctioning out of nowhere. I saw him do the double check myself. He said he was mobbed by dark green creatures that burbled and cackled - two of them sparked electricity and they tried to bite him. Luckily he was able to scare them off by hitting them with his shark baton… Are you okay, Sirass?”

Sirass let out a series of probable-curse words in his native tongue. He darted over to the table and sketched out the rough shape of a strange looking little monster. It has many pointed teeth and three too many eyes for your taste, and small, thin tails “Did they look similar to this?” Heasked, tone urgent and eyes wide.

“I'll have to check with Parris, but from his description, yes.” You respond, alarmed by how distressed Sirass was. You take a snapshot of the picture and text your colleague, who was currently being treated for the bends, having had to go up to the surface to avoid drowning after his oxygen tank had been bitten through. Less than a minute later, you had your answer. It was a simple one word answer, which you passed onto Sirass. “Yes, that's what attacked him, why?”

“Fuck fuck fuck! This is far more dangerous than I first thought. You need to quarantine that reef and the surrounding lands for at least 8 miles in every direction. Fuck! Why didn't I see this sooner?” Sirass growls, swimming back and forth in the air in agitation. “... I'll need to contact the chapter masters. They're likely going to get the Salamanders involved.”

You blink in confusion, asking “we do have the Reef and the surrounding waters condoned off. Why eight miles specifically? What's going on? Who are the Salamanders? What is a chapter master? Sirass! Please talk to me.”

“Eight is a number sacred to the worshippers of decay and disease. I should have known weeks ago this was their doing. Chapter Masters lead the major pods. Like captain's, but on a much larger scale. Salamanders can and will set anything on fire. Which is what we'll need to do.. and where is that… Where is Pollux? He is a Son of Dorn, but will know the danger of the situation and help me in calling for the necessary people.”

“Hold on! No one is setting anything on fire! worshippers of what now?” You were delighted to get confirmation that the different pods of Astartes did in fact communicate with one another more than the occasional snarling hiss exchange with the bright yellow and black astartes who was partners with Doctor Smithson, another member of your conservation team. You still didn’T know who Dorn - nor Perturabo - was. Neither wanted to elaborate. “How would belief cause destruction?”

“... I will explain when I can, my heart. But this is too dangerous, too urgent to pause for explanations. That reef and all those afflicted animals will need to be killed and burnt. To avoid further contamination. As will all of the samples taken. The risk to everyone is too high, even if the samples are kept in lab conditions for study. This is no mere illness in the waters caused by simple waste, temperature or salinity changes. It's far worse. More sinister and deliberate.” Sirass warned before yellowing at the top of his lungs “POLLUX YOU UGLY YELLOW BASTARD! WE HAVE A MAJOR PROBLEM!”

Seconds later Pollux entered the room, scowling. So did most of the conservation team, all looking puzzled. The Imperial fist asked impatiently “What is it now, Iron Warrior?”

“Doctor Alenfil was nearly killed by a Nurgling when it bit through his air tank.” Sirass stated.

Pollux swore explosively in a dozen languages, as he started reaching for his helmet. “This is catastrophic! We should coordinate on who is calling which chapter master.”

“You speak with the Carrion-Worshippers, and I'll handle the Chaos-aligned.” Sirass suggested.

“He is not- you know what? I'm not getting into an argument with you over his holiness, not when we have a budding Garden of Blight on our hands.” Pollux hissed.  Both astartes swam off together, voices tense and unhappy.

The rest of the conservation team descend on you, and you answer their questions to the best of your abilities.

[wordsarelife]

Can you write a George Karim x reader fic with early morning cuddles? 🙏🙏

—daylight

pairing: george karim x reader

summary: early morning cuddles, mostly just fluff

you stretched you arms out, turning around in the bed and facing, what was meant to be your boyfriend. but to your worry, the side of the bed was empty, covers thrown away lazily and no trace of the boy you loved. there was a moment of hesitation, in which you considered just screaming his name, scared that something has happened, but before you could do anything, you heard the familiar scraping of a pen on paper.

as you looked up towards the desk, you could see the back of his head.

"Georgie?" you mumbled, voice still raspy, the tiredness not having left your body just now.

"oh!" he turned around to look at you "you're awake already" he had to snicker at the state of your hair, you always messed it up with your hands while you slept. not even his own hair was safe from it.

you threw a look towards the clock at your right and understood why George was questioning why you were already awake. it was only six.

"why are you up, baby?" you muttered and Georges cheek tinted pink by the nickname. but there was only so much you could see of his face, considering that it was so early and you were living in London. "come back to bed, so we can sleep some more"

George contemplated, before he finally shook his head "I'm sorry, y/n" he said "I really have to finish this"

"ugh" you replied "can't you continue working at like nine or something? if it's lockwood who's--"

"--it's not lockwood" George interrupted "I really want to finish this"

"do it later" you tried again "please, baby. come back to bed"

George had already turned around to his desk, when his head suddenly shot in the air at your words. the usage of the nickname seemed to absolutely confuse and flatter him at the same time. he threw a last look to the writings on the desk, before he got up and crossed the room.

as he came closer you could see how red his face had gotten. he took of his glasses and crawled into bed beside you.

"alright" he said, opening his arms, so you could lay on his chest "just promise me that lockwood won't ever find out about that nickname, okay?"

"you don't like it?" you pouted, turning your head so you could catch his eyes, he was already looking at you.

"of course I do" he took great offence to you thinking otherwise. "it's just-- I mean, you know lockwood. he wouldn't shut up about it"

"lockwood is a dick" you nodded, thinking back to that head size drawing you had done on the thinking cloth. you had never spent as much time fighting a ghost, then you had painting that picture of lockwood getting his head bitten off by a shark.

"I love you y/n" George muttered, while his eyes slowly closed. his hair was tickling your forehead and you smiled at the overworked boy, your overworked boy. glad that he was getting some sleep now, even if you practically had to flirt him back to back

is arms were draped around you, while you snuggled your head into the crouch of his neck, planting a kiss next to his collarbone, before you returned to your position on his chest.

"night, baby" you responded and watched as Georges cheeks grew flustered once again. then you closed your eyes. still wrapped up in the boy by your side.

it didn't even take a week, until lockwood heard of your new nickname for George, making fun of it the whole time the team was on a mission. later that day, you drew another piece of art, which featured lockwood being chased by a killer, holding an axe, while you and George stood next to them, getting married.

hopefully that scenery would come true some day. well at least half of it, you didn't really believe in weddings that much.