#get yourself someone who doesnt judge you for your likings

[nyan-koii]

I have a confession .. I’ve been obsessing over Seb’s body so much 😭😭 specifically these shots are so..

My reviews of the pics :3

1. first of all the shirt - too big and almost down to his elbows. It is like pressed against his stomach so it’s FLAT and legs and arms are soo tiny 😭😭 like little pookie get off that football field y need to be in bed w mark and Jense rn

2. .. no words honestly he’s just so tiny and manhandable. Like I can just imagine Seb just being moved around by the mechanics, being in the way unknowingly and they just wrap their hands around his entire upper arm and picks him up and moves him idk. Like the mechanics groping him and like just touching him makes my brain go brrr. Also anyone on the 2010 grid with big hands like Fernando, Robert, ofc mark and Jenson just like moving him around and finding out just how tiny he is and UGHHH

3. IH MY GODDDD his arms are soo fucking tiny compared to Mark’s and I can’t like formulate words.. like it’s half the size of his. Idc if it’s the angle or not that man is a TWINK and he needs to be fucked and grabbed and chocked and-

Also just imagine someone covering Seb’s ENTIRE body part with their HAND. Like .. he would malfunction and cum in his pants. Probably like whimper and just like die on the spot or something

Td;lr

Rbr seb is tiny and needs to be fucked until he can’t speak

(I can’t believe I’m sending this unanon but :,) ye)

HIIIII TRASHTEENKIDD (idk what to call you lmaoo 😭)

THE PHOTOSSS OMGGG THOSE PHOTOSS !!! I ONLY SEEN THE SEBMARK ONES BUT THE OTHER TWO OMFG,,, I MOANEDDDD

1. YESS !!! look at the size of the shirt its not made for his size or is he into larger shirt that can cover his body because well um 😏 you know why, he likes the feeling of being small??? Mhmmm the way the shirt covers his butt too AND YESS his tiny legs and armss seb youre not supposed to be there indeed ! Get your ass on the bed now !! Also i love how red his ears are ngl. I think most of the time its always red which make me think if its like that on the other parts too 🤭 imagine him all flushed up and redd oooooo what a sight actually i need him...

2. AURGGHG PLEASE YOUR WORDS IM HAVING BRAIN DISEASE OVER IT. EXTREME HEADACHEEEE i always like the idea of the crew gangbanging on seb especially during his torro rosso eraa !! The boy is so so petite you can carry him everywhere and its as light as a feather ! Want him to be handled like a ragdoll every single second. Also the fact that he arrives at the grid first and is the one who usually leaves the last because he wants to hang around and 'learn' more from the crew.... doesnt that make you think thoughts???? Because i sure as hell do ! Insane honestly, GET HIS ASS RESTRICTED HES GOING TO GET PREGNANT GUYSS

like look at these 😭😭😭😭 HES SOO EASY TO BE PICKED AROUND !!! The mechanics would definitely also manipulate him during sebs str era im insane i need to be put at a hospital.... i want more gangbang seb fics...

And yes definitely 🤭🤭 the 2010s grid is using seb as a free cumdump as repayment for letting him win the wdc hehehheheheheh seb you're completely tangled yourselves with evil men, get out of thereee (dont)

3.

HE ISS TINYYYYYYYYYYY HES SOO OMFGGG YOU CANT SEPARATE TINY AND SEB NO NU UH THEY LITERALLY CAME IN PAIR EVEN IF ITS AM SEB !!! THATS A TWINK

Sebs amazing for putting up a brave attitude around mark like if they got in a fight, mark would definitely beat him to a pulp but seb knows mark cant do ANYTHING to him, knows that seb has more power than him and in some cases marks just too tired to reciprocate his energy. Sebs taking marks kindness and manipulating it to his own likings for example mark fucking and releasing his anger on seb because he hates the german boy so much but its actually what seb wants, to be used and to see mark crumble in front of seb aauuurghhhh, hes a twink but hes an EVIL twink.

Also... look at michael's thigh.... its the same size as sebs waist..... im completely normal about this

Sebs definitely sensitive to touches too mhmmm !! Sensitive and desperate to be touched at all time its embarassing because he cant live without receiving physical touches from his boyfriends. During day, he finds comfort in their hand but at night, its the only thing he prays about while they continue to bring him close to heaven.

Yesss rbr seb, seb in general, deserves to be fucked until he cant think straight anymore. Much like those anime hentais, i want seb to be fucked until theres love in his eyes and hes all drooling in pleasure 🥰 my love language actually.

And dont pressure yourself ! I admire your bravery reallyy for not anon-ing yourselff. Its good to see who im talking to and that i know you guys are comfortable to share these thoughts with me 🙏 keep em coming guyss !! This is a safe place for everyone <3

[spotsupstuff]

ur grading people and if they get an f theyre blocked? my main you aint a kindergarten teacher this is a microblogging platform

yeah, that's why there's that function called blocking! :) cuz this is a microblogging site! that's what microblogging platforms have! :) so you don't have to put up with people's shit! :) interesting that kindergarten teachers where you live are capable of blocking people in real life, hope you had fun with that

[littlelovelunette]

concept: Mechanics and Grinding

Contains suggestive themes, grinding, dry humping, Sevika being a smartass

“Youre too much of a princess to understand,” Sevika shakes her head and takes a sip of her drink. She coughs but she still smokes the cigarillo. You take her by surprise when you said you wanted to learn the mechanics of her metal, Shimmer-infused arm. Of course, she doesnt expect someone who had pretty manicured hands like yours to be interested in the mechanics of her arm, but then again Jinx exists proving that all sorts of inventors do. So, she is considering info-dumping you.

“Dont judge me already, we've barely been in bed together.” you take a comfortable seat on her lap, “Now, start talking.”

Sevika rolls her eyes, “Bold.” she exhales the smoke, “Might take you on that offer if that means I get to be judgemental.”

“Youre an asshole.”

“You really wanna know how this thing works, huh? Fine but don’t blink.” Sevika eyes your dress as it hikes up your mid-thigh, giving her a provocative view but she tries to focus instead. “Shimmer is a substance that should be heavily controlled in general, can be toxic if not refined,” Sevika pauses before adding, “But refined right, and balanced with just the right mix of stabilizers, it’s a power source. The core chamber—”

She shows you where the shimmer tanks are situated around her bicep and shoulder joint, you position yourself in a way that your legs are wrapped around her waist to see properly,

“—pumps shimmer through reinforced veins, and uh, there's synthetic tubing...” Sevika's breath hitches when she feels your warm crotch against her thigh, she swallows down the snide comment she wanted to make. “Shimmer heats and pressurises giving me enhanced speed, reaction time and uh—... Strength.”

Sevika isn't used to having to explain the way her mechanical arm works to others, no one ever cared to ask. Maybe that's the reason shes stuttering? It's either that, or the fact she could feel your wetness leaving a damp patch on her pants. Her own clit throbs.

“What's this do?” you whisper, pointing at her elbow.

“There’s a pressure regulator near the elbow. Gotta keep the shimmer flow stable. Too much, and it overheats; burns me from the inside. Too little, and I lose torque. That’s what this dial on the side’s for—manual override.” Sevika holds your waist so you don't topple over when she shifts.

You giggle and stare intently at her lips, “Keep talking...”

Sevika flexes her mechanical fingers, “The fingers? Precision servos. Each one’s wired with sensory feedback. Swear, I can feel it.” she trails off, feeling your wetness against her thigh, “Uh, Janna, you're enjoying this.”

You grin. “Dunno what you're talking 'bout.”

“The plating's titanium alloy with a copper coating—tough enough to take just about anythin’... And uh— that sound it makes when it charges? That’s the arc capacitor kicking in, builds kinetic energy before I strike.” Sevika takes another inhale from the cigarillo, “Maintenance is hell. I gotta strip it down every few days, clear the lines, re-stabilize the shimmer tank, replace burnt-out coils.”

“Mhm, and I bet you're really good at reaching in all of the tightest places.” you smirk, lips parting to form an ‘o’ when your clit pressed against the rough material of her pants, even if you were clothed, it felt too good.

“Thats where we're headed, doll?” Sevika chuckles with a shake of her head before she grabs your hips and forces you to grind harder against her. You moan and put your head on her shoulder. Small moans leave your mouth as your hips roll and pleasure shot through your body.

You whine when you felt Sevika's mechanical fingers hold your waist with ease, moving you forward and backward on her thigh, your cunt aches with need, arousal soaking the cotton fabric of your white panties. “Come on, already, fuck me,” you say causing Sevika to let out a hearty laugh.

“Are you that desperate? Do smart women happen to turn you on or are you simply horny for all women?” Sevika squeezes your ass before she forces you to hump her thigh.

It wasn't long until you felt the knot unravel in your lower tummy, your body going still as you came undone, soiling the white, pristine panties you had on.

[k-aemi]

blue lock ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ doctors note.

obsessive behavior, a bit erotic but no smut, self-harm, use of force, multiple mental illnesses exposed, some mischaracterization but its for the plot pls forgive me :<, traumatic events(?)

a/n: haii so this might not be accurately correct im no expert in this category but if you guys catch any mistakes ive made pls tell me thru asks or message me ^^ id like to improve anything and fix.

this is part 1! i will be writing more if you guys like it

for context youre a psychiatrist that works by yourself....kind of. its sort of a family business owned thing. but youre the main worker with the degree, your family was just there to assist you with checking in patients and cleaning around the small facility you owned.

though, it did seemed youd have to relocate else where, you were barely getting patients because of the unknown location you were at, and judged from the outside. just because your place was small doesnt mean you sucked! you were top of medical school!

just on a random day you get over 10+ appointments. you werent sure if someone had mis-clicked and meant to only add one. but there were a list of names, and all their information...

you werent even sure what to do, you dont think youve gotten this many patients at the same time before, possibly 3 at best and that was all.

the one who even assigned all of them to you was some person named Ego Jinpachi. youve heard of him, hes one of the workers of blue lock wasnt he? that football facility not too far from your place. youve found out hes bringing in football lunatics whos suddenly lost their minds. he says if you can, keep them confined in here until theyre able to function properly. this isnt the mental asylum!

he told you hes only chose this one because of the lost of money due the change of behavior in his players, investors soon losing the interest in investing in blue lock. he only has so much to spend.

so he asks you, which of course youll get two percent of what blue lock makes as soon as his players are back in top notch shape, which will make blue lock shine again.

you have no choice but to accept, this is your job anyways! its time to show your full potential!

patient #1: isagi yoichi.

checking in on isagi yoichi. who is dealing with severe anxiety. as hes constantly overcoming obstacles to try and exceed his performance, success and ability to meet beyond expectations. this always leads to him overthinking and anxious in high pressure situations.

he must becomes the best, but he fears falling behind his peers. he sets these expectations himself. his anxiety could worsen if hes pushing himself too hard, he wont be able to take care of himself for the future.

poor boy, always comparing himself with the geniuses surrounding him, he self-doubts himself, he thinks if he cant live up to their level, he cant be number one. he wants to be the best, he wants someone to recognize his talent in order to keep his drive to become number one striker. even an ounce of feeling ignored by the dominant players on field, he doubts his worth in football.

he was only the stepping stone to evolve rin and kaiser? he hates it. it feels like hes left alone in the dark. he wants to be the best, even with his best efforts, he cant do it! only there to unlock others potentials...but what about his?

getting to know him better, you fully understand as he warms up to you. you know the feeling of being left out, having that passion but never recognized for what youre worth for. he looks so drained and you feel so bad about it, for a doctor you feel like you get more sentimental than your patients.

he thinks youre always so patient with him, you would never pry into him forcing how he feels, or force positive thoughts into him. you patiently guide him through it and makes sure to take it step by step. sharing methods that could help with the anxiety.

your voice is so soft and youre not too much for him to handle. he thinks your presence is calming and warm, like he can forget all of his problems with you in there. every time you see a little improvement in his anxiety, youre always there to validate him. you just think with the praises, itd help motivate him!

oh and it does. to the point he lives for your validation. he thinks its a change of pace since youre no competitor from blue lock. he thinks of you as a safe space. you listen to him with no judgement, even when he thinks his diagnosed anxiety was for a stupid reason.

you view him not just as an athlete, but someone with emotions and vulnerabilities. he thinks thats the charm of you. he doesnt even notice it himself, but he starts to depend on you to make sure he doesnt feel rejected from society.

whenever youd come into his room to ask your daily questions, hes always asking further "are you happy im doing well..?" just to hear your sweet praises fall into his ears. hes love to hear it from you. thats his only source of living comfortably right now.

"yes 'm so happy 'ichi! im so excited to see you back onto the fields!" you clasped your hands together. the way the nickname rolls off your tongue makes him feel hes important to you, normally when someones important to someone, they love them right? you love him dont you? just as much as he does?

"[name..] you care about me right...? like a lot?" hed randomly ask you when youre checking up on him. it was very out of no where considering you were talking about the very famous franchise kamen rider shows. "hm? yeah care about you s'much!" you flashed your sweet smile at him.

your presence feels so warm...he...he wonders what its like for lovers to kiss is like, which is what he assumes you are to him. he cups your cheeks, staring intensely at your lips. youre a tad confused, you wondered if he just wanted to grab hold of something. not until you see him lean him and your eyes widened. coming back to your senses, you hands came in between your lips and his, stopping the kiss.

isagi can only look so confuse. what are you doing? youre his lover arent you? he can kiss you. why are you refusing him? his affection? are you rejecting him?

"i-ichi...what are you doing..?" you awkwardly back up and you see his gaze darkened. "this is what lovers do right...? we have to kiss. or are you rejecting me like everyone else does. am i just a background character to your story too?!" he lashes out on you.

"no no-what-lover..?" you should of perhaps saw this coming, in some rare cases it happens. your trance of thoughts were interrupted when isagi knocks down the vase on his nightstand.

"fuck-! knew it. fucking knew it. youre just toying with me too huh? youre rejecting me." he growls. the vase shatters you hurriedly try to pick up the pieces, youre scared isagi might try to hurt himself with these shards, if you dont take action fast, hell do it, so youll pick it up with hand first, the broom is kind of far and if you come back to him in a worsened condition, it can only lead to the bad.

you cut yourself on accident and you hissed at the pain. isagi immediately notices, grabbing hold of your finger...looking at it intently.

"u-uh ichi..?" you try to retreat your hand from him, but his gaze leaves you fazed. those eyes of his were so scary. isagi licks the blood that spills from your finger and licks it tenderly. sucking on the digists, tasting your precious blood which he thinks is sacred.

"i love you so much [name]...you feel the same way dont you..?"

patient #2: bachira meguru.

focusing on bachira meguru. a bit energetic...well thats probably an understatement, he really is energetic. studying him for a while it seems he has borderline personality disorder.

bachira who longs for deep connections may connect to fear of abandonment. he always struggled with loneliness and was always called weird by the other kids. as a coping mechanism, it led to him creating his "monster" he talks about to deal with the isolation hes faced.

he has an intense fear of being alone, even if its all in his head, he hates it. hes really dependent and have a strong sense of attachments to certain indivduals, just like isagi. he saw isagi as a crucial part to his well-being, knowing he can play football with him, hes like him, he has a monster too.

he yearns for someone to understand him. creating a sense of acceptance and validation from others. if he cant play football with anyone else, who else can but his monster..?

he doesnt even know who he is, he relies on others to define himself. just like how he relies on isagi a lot. whenever he sees isagi becoming more independent in his plays, he feels left behind because he thinks thered be no one else to play with him. :(

without the monster inside of him, he doesnt know how else to see himself. hes sees himself within that monster, without it, he struggles to find his true self.

whenever you come to visit him, hes always mentioning the monster to you. saying he wants to play, but you must help him get better first so he can succeed without the monster!

of course, you always ask him about the monster, you want to slowly try and make him self aware he can build other connections than his inner monster. you try to understand what triggers or triggered this abandonment, and when he tells you, you start to tear up on the inside!

you tell him to jolt down whenever he feels lonely or abandoned. or when his monster appears, what does it say? what does it do to him? giving him a little journal and a cute little pen with a sunflower on top to match his golden locks that touch the tips.

"you can tell me anything in this journal ok?" you flashed a smile at him. and he finally feels like youre the only one who understands him and this monster. honestly, if you were trying to make him to stop depending on the monster, hell just depend on you instead, thats the only reasonable thing to do right?

he sees you as a special person he doesnt want to lose. youre always so caring and give him the comfort he needs when he crys in the middle of night, saying he just feels so alone, he needs you to be there for him :(

hes never had this sort of comfort before aside from his mom. but having you and going through the process with it, he thinks this is what love feels like. he was always too silly to form a crush on anyone, or to even get a girlfriend, but with you by his side, this was definitely the love he yearned for, you understood him better than anyone. youre the only one for him.

he thinks whenever you visit him, its like going on a date! youre always coming in looking so pretty (you dont even have makeup on and youre in casual clothing www) for him and you look so happy to talk to him just as much as he does, he loves his doctor girlfriend<3

you dont even realize hes falling in love with you. you just think its his playful manner and excitement! youre so naive. what the hell did you mean you didnt know when he told you "you know if you werent my doctor id totally make you mine! kidding.." sticking out his tongue, hes so silly you just laugh.

sometimes hed randomly text you things outside of professional settings if you werent available right now, either out food shopping or helping out family matters. not that you mind, but itd be super random. "i drew two dogs. its us! :D”

even when hed say some "weird" things you suppose, something along the lines of him complaining why you have other patients. he tells you to just tend to him! you can only raise your eyebrow in confusion. "you do know its my job right?" you giggled a bit. "mmm... dont care. youre my doctor. and i hate sharing."

bachira always comes up to hug you first thing when you open the door to his room, he hears your footsteps from the hallway so he just stands to the side and jump at you when you enter in.

"[name]!!!" he nuzzled against your neck, the thud was so loud you think your sister probably heard it like 3 rooms away. his head rested above your chest as he rubbed his face on it, holding you tight around the waist.

"megu...stop doing that! im gonna get a head concussion one day!" you playfully bonk his head and he let out a soft grunt. he only giggles before inhaling your scent. god he loved this smell, it was at least better than the smell of antiseptics and disinfectants, it made his head hurt a bit.

"but missed you s'much.." he pouts. how did you not see the signs? you let out a content sigh, flashing a smile to him before patting his head, ruffling his hair. "sorry sorry, i was really busy. lets get you checked up yeah?" he nods eagerly. getting up to help you by handing his hand out, you grabbed it as he pulled you up. you never really realized how tall he was, judging by looks, he doesnt even look that tall!

but your trance of thoughts is immediately interrupted by a soft pair of lips on your cheek. did bachira just...? you back away, rubbing the part he kissed.

"im so excited for our date! were gonna talk lots and lots of things!" he grips your wrist, dragging you to the stool next to his bed. but you didnt budge an inch.

"hmm whats wrong? why do you look so upset?" he leaned closer to you but you back away. he notices this and doesnt take it so lightly.

"why are you avoiding me now..? do you think im weird? do you see me as a monster?" he starts to overthink it, as he clenches onto your shirt with a pained look. whats with this sudden demeanor?! you were never like this...so why now? was it the kiss? he thought you loved him so he thought you wouldnt mind!

"of course not megu...but you really cant just-" youre interrupted with a kiss on the lips. he didnt want to hear it. he was too dependent on you already, and youre gonna leave him like you guys had nothing? like you didnt have a single ounce of feelings for him either?! hes furious. how could you.

"dont leave me now [name]...please...i need you."

patient #3: chigiri hyoma.

onto the next model-uh patient. chigiri hyoma. seriously did he come from blue lock? he looks like a model with that beautiful hair of his. you accidentally mistook him for a woman! recording his actions and behaviors, you assume he suffers from ptsd, or post-traumatic stress disorder.

you found out that he had a acl tear and it was a traumatic event he just cant seem to forget, it nearly destroyed and shattered his dreams of being the best striker. sure he recovered, but this shaped his behavior and caused him emotional distress.

he was most confident in his speed, and for it to just be taken away from him again makes him scared. it would mean losing who he was as a player. stripping away that confidence and sense of security. poor baby.

hed never told anyone about this event. making it even hard to process having to bottle up is fears. even with his body healed, his mind didnt, still facing the fear and hesitation. :(

that traumatic event always replay back in his mind, and the words of his doctors still echoed inside of his head. hearing those devastating words that of he were to tore his acl again, his career of a soccer player is over.

whenever out on the field he gets the image of the injury happening, which he hesitates to show his full potential. whenever hed see someone to fall or hurt their knee, he cant help but feel that trigger, causing fear. it reminds him of what had happened and he cant escape from it.

just even thinking about running full speed, he hesitates and starts to hyperventilate. he gets so scared, he doesnt want to quit, he wants to keep playing! it gets so bad to the point hed have to be switched out with another person.

all he can do is run away from his fear, he wants to protect himself in order to keep playing. but how can he keep it up if his speed is what defined him? he wants to, but hes too scared of the risk.

he sees his strength in his speed. without it, hes nothing. hes nothing worth more than lead. he hated the feeling. the feeling of being weak, the feeling of being so scared. he hates himself. with his hesitation, he cant help but always feel like hes dragging his teammates down.

because youre his doctor and not one of the blue lock competitors, he thinks it might be alright to just fill you in, but he ended up telling you everything, and how he felt. he even cried, knowing he was weak after he lost his sense of self.

you sob listening to his story. youre determined to make him feel like he will be the best without having to worry! youre the first person hes ever told anyone outside his family. you give him the reassurance youll never tell a single soul about what happened to him.

to start off you think itd be best if you can help change his mindset! you help him challenge the negative thoughts that may occur in his head with confidence! "sure your speed is your gift, but its not the only thing that defines you! you need to remember just because it happened once, it wont happen again!"

hes never even thought of it like that, this whole time all he could think about is how hell destroy his body, and that stops him from showing his full potential.

you guide him through training to increase his comfort with getting used to full speed movements to boost his confidence his knee is strong and the past wont control him anymore! you give him some methods and techniques on to calm his anxiety before matches so that he wouldnt be so hesitant anymore.

you hope hed focus on the present, than cling onto the repeat of the past.

knowing youre the first person to know about his knee, you understand the weight of his trauma and you see past the talent he was gifted, he was more than just a speedy person! thats what he enjoyed about you. he feels like youre his safe space.

he gets these stir of feelings, hes confused on what it is. it happened when you told him..."you dont have to prove anything to me! whether you run or not, youre still the chigiri hyoma i know" followed by a giggle. what...what was this burning sensation in his chest. he cant wrap a finger around it.

he feels like around you, he can show his most vulnerable state. whether hes crying, angry, or scared. he can show it all to you without feeling judged. that always led to him wanting to seek your reassurance all the time. outside of football, he can be himself if youre around.

he loved how you were able to help him overcome his fears, even if it took a while, all throughout his whole years of liviing he was able to feel better about himself. due to his avoidant ways, he feels such a deep connection with you, causing him to think, maybe this is the feeling of love. he may thinks its admiration but he shrugged that feeling. its definitely love.

he starts to take mental notes of the little things you like or do. oh you prefer to use the air fryer than oil fry your food? its noted. you like to pick out the tomatoes from your burgers because you think the texture is gross? hes got it down. you like this certain movie at this specific time? you know it.

he loves your approval. everything you say to him puts in a trance really but he specifically loves whenever you help train his knee, seeing his progress, you tell him, "im so proud of you hyo!" his heart will always skip a beat.

he thinks the only patient you should tend to is him. i mean...you look like you enjoy his presence a lot, it means youre his favorite right? thats what he sees at least. so whenever youd leave his room, hed just mutter under his breath. "arent i better than them..?" with his furrowed eyebrows.

he knows the rules, he cant be a patient that falls in love with his doctor, but can you blame him? youre so caring and nice to him, its such a reliever from all of the egoists from blue lock. you dont think hed at least build some sort of dependency on you?

"alright hyo! im so happy youre recovering, i know its a long process but just some progress is a lot!" clasping your hands together to show your happiness. he knows its genuine, i mean you cant fake a smile like that. its so warm...youre like the sun to him.

"[n-name]...." he suddenly called out to you as he was sat on the edge of his bed, gripping onto the sheets with fear. he wants to tell you how he feels. i mean, you could potentially have feelings for him too right? theres no way a doctor is this nice to their patients unless theres one reasonable explanation. you like him too.

"yes hyo?" you didnt look up from your clipboard, jolting down some notes and writing some important details. you can hear some slight hesitation in chigiris words. but didnt really pay no attention to it.

"please just...listen...i..think...no scratch that..i know i have feelings for you." he would rub the back of his neck, slowly trailing his gaze from the ground to your eyes. he hated being vulnerable but for you, and for this opportunity, he couldnt waste it. he loved you so much.

you can only just stare at him dumbfounded, your pen dropping to the floor. you didnt expect him to openly express his feelings. you didnt even think he would have feelings for you. he most of the time had a stoic face to him, it was kind of hard to read him, but you still got through him.

you struggle to say the words you want to say. youre an extreme people pleaser and youd hate to hurt another patients feelings. "im glad youre aware hyo, but as your doctor, its a built on trust on your healing process. if i crossed that line, id be failing you. i wont dismiss or disregard your feelings like its nothing, youre important to me and i care deeply about you." you frown at him and you can see his eyes lower as his lips quivered.

you figured hed try and undestand, but he just persist, and it maybe fueled his anger. "so...thats it? just because...of some fucking stupid rule? is this your excuse? just fucking tell me you dont love me. at least make an exception! for me!" he lashed out and you kind of get scared. youve never seen him raise his voice at you. he hyperventilates as he continues with his fuel.

"you cant just tell me, just because youre my doctor...youre telling me we didnt have a thing going on? because it sure as hell didnt feel that way. i cant just pretend youre werent the only person who truly understood me! tell me...how to do that." he walked up to you, hovering over your figure.

you didnt dare to look at him, knowing youd be met with his cold gaze. you just bit your lip and clutched your clipboard in anticipation. until he took hold of your shoulders leaning down to your level and meet your eyes.

"fucking tell me [name]!" his eyebrows furrowed as his teeth grit. youre so scared, you feel threatened, but youre not sure what to do, hes much stronger than you. theres nothing you can do in this situation.

when he sees your trembling figure, he loosen his grip on you and sighed. hesitantly wrapping his arms around your neck when he sees you wince a bit. he soften a bits before letting out a content sigh.

"'m so sorry...didnt mean to... i love you, you know that...?"

patient #4: itoshi rin.

the brother of itoshi sae, itoshi rin. you could of swore you treated to itoshi sae once. but thats for another story. judging by his actions, you think hes suffering from depression.

this patient sure was a bit difficult. he rarely talks about his feelings. instead its mostly hatred he expresses it as. hes always talking to himself, "its not enough.." repeatedly you dont even know if hes aware youre still in his presence.

when he wants to get away from the suffering, he fixates on sae. he hates the way sae just did him like that, seriously his only goal was to play football to become the second best aside sae. now he wanted to change? he doesnt matter in saes life anymore? how could he. how fucking dare he.

he cant express his sadness so easily. even if he tried to, it turns into anger, lashing out on others. but he doesnt mean it, it just happens. he doesnt mean to push others way.

hes so harsh on himself, he thinks every loss granted feels like a personal failure, making him hate himself even more. when you had first tried to help him, he could only scoff to himself. "dont ask me stupid questions." you kind of cried from that harsh tone but dealt with it (www).

hes always keeping his distance. hes so focused on winning, he barely express genuine joy and rarely smiles. but its not like he wants to. he wants to prove himself the best of the best, after what had happened with his big brother. hes terrified of being betrayed again. he cant just let people walk into his life, just to be betrayed.

he will never allow himself to feel good enough. every failure and loss of his will only increase his self-loathing. he pushes himself, pass his limit, to the point hes at the passing out point. but he must do what he must, hell never rest. you know his excessive training? he thinks for not being strong enough hell punish himself with it. thats why hes so well built.

hell never waste time, meaning he runs to little to no sleep. how could he when he has people to exceed. he must train harder than ever before, push his limits. when you question why he does that he gives you an annoyed glance. (makes you cry on the inside) "only the weak rest. i dont have time for that."

he cant ever forget that night. how could he? its a wound hes not able to stich up. rin hates sae, but on the look of his eyes, he yearns for saes validation. it only fuels when he praised isagi. shattering rins heart. he cant stand it anymore.

no matter how much he can do, hell never be better than sae, he never feels enough. he thinks the reason why sae is gone is because hes too weak, it hurts, it really fucking does.

though rin was a difficult patient to get a hold of, you never had the thought to give up, everyone has their breaking point, even for someone like rin. youd be so patient with him, even if it felt like everyday was a failure to try to get him to open up.

rin hates how persistent you are. he hates being vulnerable towards others. but you never shut up do you? why cant you just give up. but this feels all too familiar. still persistent yet no where close to the main goal. he can only punch the wall, leaving a hole in the room hes assigned in.

you think the most effective way to help him was to challenge his toxic thought patterns by questions. "if you think losing makes you worthless, why do people respect those who lose but improve?"

rin can only halt for a moment and rethink his harsh self judgement. he tries something to counter it, but nothing comes to mind at first.

rin never directly told you, but you can imply someone important has either left him or betrayed him of some sort. was a friend? girlfriend? parental figure of some sort? youre not sure.

"who is this person you wish to surpass? i noticed you tend to say "i will destroy him." you had hope this could maybe expose his intentions? but rin only scoff.

"that man...i swear ill destroy him hell regret everything he said to me that night.!" he raised his voice. honestly you dont know who else can it be.

"is it perhaps your older brother, itoshi sae?" and his ears perked up. you notice his change of behavior. guessing it was him. "why did sae leave you?"

"theres nothing to talk about."

"then...just hearing his name, why does it make you angry? if he didnt matter, you wouldnt care." and rin cant even run away from his feelings. he knew he had to confront them sooner or later.

rin only knows how to push himself, he doesnt have any healthy coping mechanisms. poor boy. rin would sometimes refuse to talk to you, only resulting to telling to him to write down his feelings to realize whats going on and see that hes actually harming himself.

as he writes his feelings down, he starts to read aloud what he writes to you and your heart lights up, youre so happy hes able to warm up to you even after a whopping of two weeks. once you validate his feelings, he finally learns...maybe allowing being able to express himself doesn't make him feel weak.

though you did need to help his other unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as not getting enough sleep and punishing himself for being so "weak". youd give him advice to try an improve those coping methods. "if youre trying to improve yourself please dont push yourself. you need to recover too. you need to take care of yourself okay? in order to beat sae." at least to match up with his goals to motivate him to change his unhealthy ways.

rin generally thought of you just as a doctor who has to tolerate with his issues. hes emotionally distant and refuse to acknowledge any pain or feelings. but just seeing your ways of helping him puts him in a sense of comfort.

youre always calm and non-judgmental, someting rin isnt used to, due to the environment hes in and because of his brother. with you around he feels like he can slowly open up. not fully but just...slowly.

the more he talks about sae, the more he expresses his struggles. throughout his whole life he was incapable of expressing himself, but with you around, you create that space for him to open himself more.

the more and more he talks, he doesnt even realize it himself. he just lets himself go, is it because youre here? he feels like time goes by fast when hes with you. he finds...comfort within you.

as your job, youre always here to remind him to care for himself, something he heavily struggles with. whenever he seems to be so stressed out, you give him the upmost attention which rin doesnt realize he likes when youre showing your concern for him. at first he feels its weird when he receives your comfort, but he lets down his guard with you within time.

sometimes when he realizes hes becoming too close to you, he wants to push you away. well he does. when youre trying to pry his feelings out, he just makes excuses to end the session early, or just refuse to talk to you.

even with his refusal you dont give up on him, which is what he hates. whenever you keep up at it, he feels sting at his chest. he cant even describe what he feels. was this a bad feeling? good? scared? he cant get a hold of it.

its subtle but he does show he cares for you too. he would notice the eyebags under your eyes and the way you would slur your words a bit in sessions. hed only get a bit ticked off, "stop pushing yourself so hard. its annoying seeing you like this." honestly its so unexpected of him, but you just figured hed want a more professional doctor instead of a tired one.

sometimes when he does catch on with what he does, he tries to distance himself, skipping sessions to see if the feeling will go away. but it only worsens and lingers, he wants--no, needs to see you.

at a session, he does seem to be uncooperative, not like its anything new, but you do see that somethings been on his mind. you wonder what could it be. "everything alright rin? you seem to be on edge today. whats bothering you?" you cross your legs tapping on your clipboard.

rin can only scoff with his jaw clenched. just seeing you made him even more frustrated. "obviously. you." you halt your movements in confusion, oh no did you do something wrong as his doctor?

"me? im sorry can you recall what you dislike?" you leaned back on your chair in anticipation of his response. "i hate it. its confusing. i dont get why i always think of you. why i feel like i cant stand being here, but also the idea of not coming back. i dont know anymore. everytime i leave this room, its like i leave something behind. and i dont want to go." clenching his fist as his gaze falls to the floor.

you think hes just expressing his frustration, only until his words hit you cold. "its more than that. I-" you cut him off. you already knew what was to come. "rin please. i care about you, but i cant be that person for you. i am only here to better your wellbeing."

he didnt like that answer. it only fueled his anger in fact. slamming the table in front of him before angrily scurrying off. "rin!" you called out to him, but hes already left your office. you can only sigh frustratingly before continuing to note down some information.

its late at night. and your up in your office, just up to finish some work for the other 10 patients you need to tend to....its such hard work! only until someone opened your door and it was so unexpected you jumped. but its only rin, and you sighed. "rin? your session was over hours ago."

he can only click his tongue before walking up to your desk. "i needed to talk." he says with his stoic face. "you know its late, i cant make exceptions." now standing in front of your desk, the only light that emitted was from the door, and the white from the computer screen. "you do it for other patients." he shifts his gaze to the side.

"rin, if its about that-i care about you as my patient, but thats all there is to it." "i know." you frown, you hated confronting your patients, it always felt so mean but you had to! "then why are you still here?" rin can only clench his fist. "because i dont believe you."

his eyes flickered with determination and desperation as he grits his teeth. "if you didnt feel the same, you wouldnt care this much. i know it. i know you can feel it too, dont you?" he really did try to make you admit you did have feelings for him. you dont even know what to do anymore! "you treat me different than others."

"i treat my all my patients equally."

"liar. you hesitate when you look at me. you dont do that with others! i know how you look at me." he kept eye contact with you, slowly walking to your figure.

"Rin-"

"youre scared how i make you feel." he interrupted. "you think you know how i feel. but i know exactly what it is." his arm would reach out to caress your cheek, but you grip is wrist. his eyebrows furrowed in annoyance.

"rin, i care about you a lot than you think, but not in the way you want me to!" but he could only swat your hand away before taking hold of your cheeks, as he forces you to stare at his teal eyes.

"liar. i know you feel it. the connection we have. its stronger than any other patient you have." he closes in. you turn to face the other direction, avoiding his ways with you.

"stop refusing me already! look at me." he whispered to you, in a calmer tone to convince you. but his patient wears thin. he was always impatient. "i said look at me!" forcing you to look at his eyes. fear in your eyes, youre scared he might hurt you at this point.

"thats a better look for you." eyeing your lips, he feels some sort of excitement, that flow. your lips quivered, but its okay, rin will comfort you now, its to repay you back for everything youve done for him.

he leans in kissing you. his knee rested in between the negative spot in the chair, as his arms rests on the sides.

"see..? this kiss proves our connection."

patient #5: mikage reo.

from the mikage corp, reo mikage. for such a once bright person hes so gloomy and unmotivated now. hes always talking about your other patient named nagi seishiro. was there some sort of conflict between the two? the way he talks about him leaving, it seems like he has dependent personality disorder.

reos entire motivation for football intiailly revolved around nagi it seems. he always believed they could achieve such greatness together and that nagi was his treasure. he fixates a lot on their relationship and uses that to define his own worth.

but thats when his whole world shattered when he left him for isagi. really, was he not good enough in nagis eyes to partner up with him? he struggles to cope after that whole event. hes not confident in his ability alone, and refers himself nagis partner only, not as a person himself.

you know how he lost to isagi and nagi? and when nagi didnt choose him? he panics so much when nagi chooses to move on without him. he feels lost and betrayed. why didnt he choose him? the way he pleaded nagi just shows the fear of him being left behind. he doesnt want to succeed by himself, he wants--no...needs to do it with someone by his side.

observing reo more, he seems more of a follower than a leader himself. always relying on nagi rather than himself as a striker while lacking the self confidence without his partner. he feels as if hes not enough on his own. showing that part of his dependency needs.

he feels distressed when he thinks nagi will leave him behind and abandon him. he doesnt know how, but he just wants to keep nagi close to him. he was always perfect with everything, but he cant even keep his relationship perfect with nagi.

he needs nagis guidance in order to succeed, whenever out in the field, he looks for nagi for confirmation or approval of some sort. showing that lack of confidence in his own judgement.

he does have goals of his own, but he buts his own needs behind nagis. he finds nagis well being more important than his, he sacrifices his needs to make sure nagi feels secure, even neglecting his own desires. he lets nagi take control of situations because hes scared getting into conflict with nagi :(

taking all of this, you figured why not focus on increasing his self-confidence and help with emotional stability! though you did know this would be a difficult challenge as a lot of people struggle with that.

his biggest issue would be his worth and purpose to other people, which in this case was nagi...you would help work on building a sense of self outside of relationships! you would try to make reo aware of his dependency on others and talk about his own strengths when playing football, or just any personal achievements since he was good at anything.

you encourage him to make decisions alone! you start off small though, since nagi isnt there to decide for him, you think it will help build that individualism. you ask for what kind of meal would he like to eat, not what nagi would want. and then youd start with what would he want to do after he has won the world cup. something along the lines of that!

you do take note on what he told you how he felt during nagis "betrayal", you do believe he has a fear of abandonment. so you would try to suggest and develop coping mechanisms for him! you would try to prove to himself he can handle it, control is emotions, and communicate his needs without fear!

you teach him to set boundaries, so he isnt so dependent on one person or fixate on it. but you feel like you just made it worse.

hes never received such emotional support for his feelings, he thinks the way you treat him like hes so delicate makes him feels such things. youre one of the first people to listen to him, guide him, and see him more than just the mikage kid from a rich family who can do anything. but you see the side where hes most vulnerable.

he feels less alone venting his emotions to you, he develops that attachment. somewhere close where nagi lies.

he loves your reassurance that you give when he tries to work on his independency. but its not like you do that to make him rely on you, you just want him to be more confident in his healing progress! "Reo, you can do this, you dont need anyone to be strong." youd flash that sweet smile of yours and he gives you a soft look. "you really think so..?"

the more time you guys connect, the more he just sees you more that go beyond that patient-doctor bond. he admires the way you talk, the way you comfort him, and your sweet smile. hed always be in a trance when you speak because your voice is so soft, sometimes he doesnt even realize you asked him a questioned and youd have to shake him to come back to reality.

"reo? you okay?" you raised your eyebrow in confusion and concern. but hed only be startled, avoiding your gaze. "y-yes...just thinking." hed cover his mouth with his hand with such a flushed face. just from that moment, hes not just attached, but in love.

but hed always tried to reject that possibility. no no, hes not in love, he just really appreciate you for trying your best to help him...yeah thats it. he justifies his feeling as you just doing your job and you help him a lot. like when hed want to talk to you more often than scheduled sessions...or when youre so kind to him. sure everyones been super friendly with him, but you were just so different from others.

finishing up your session you click your pen and settle down your clipboard. "reo, youre making such great progress! you should be proud of yourself!" you clasped your hand together with that cheery face of yours. reo really didnt care about feeling better anymore. he just wanted to be with you at all times. sometimes he might even slip up to make his feelings for you obvious, but your naive self just take it as him still in the healing process.

he wouldnt want to try and make it obvious, but how could he make it known that he did love you? ah, thats right. money! hes rich, he can basically use that as a way to win your affection, its worked on others, itll work on you too.

at first hed test the waters, buying you such expensive gifts that not even you can afford or would even have thought of buying. designer clothes, watches, or some sort of vacation, telling you that you deserve a break from your hard work. (the trip will just be you and him www).

hell donate to the clinic, he tells your family members to keep it a secret from you because he doesnt want you to know hes funding your workplace, youd probably just try to refuse the money, but he just wants to make your life easier! and by that...he also wants to help with any bills you have under your name or debts you need to pay off like medical school.

he thinks its his way of showing his newfound "love" to you. everybody loves money dont they? its perfect. whenever hed suggest giving you an abundance of money, you just refuse, shaking your head.

"reo, i cant accept this," youd frown while crossing your arms.

hed get nervous from the way you react, why are you rejecting his money? no one ever has. "just let me do something nice for you. its a way of repaying back." hed laughed it off, but hes so scared you might catch on. whenever you reject his gifts, he gets so frustrated. he thinks even his money isnt enough for you. or was he, himself whole wasnt enough?

if you werent going to tend to his advances, he might as well just...say it to you right? hed gaslight himself into thinking maybe you wanted him to directly say it, maybe thats why you refused to take anything from him.

"alright reo, thank you for your time today! im glad to see you almost in shape and youll back to blue lock!" seeing you stand up from your chair, hed take hold of your wrist, not budging.

"[n-name]...i know this is very sudden. but." he stopped in his tracks, standing up looking down at your figure before taking both of your hands in his. hed inhale a breath before making eye contact with you again.

"i see you more as my doctor [name]. you make me feel like i could be the person i truly want to be..." hed caress your hands with his thumb. he thinks he just made it worse for the both of you. the silence is heavy as you stare at him in disbelief.

"im glad i can provide that space for you reo, but you cannot do this, nor can i accept any of the gifts you give me." reo can only frown, his desperation clearly showing.

"why? because im just a patient to your eyes? i can be more than that. you can quit your job and ill provide the money for you. you and your family!" he tightens his hold on you and his look is pleading. but you can only shake your head in refusal. "i must remain professional reo."

after that confession reo would pretend like hes fine, but thats because he was embarrassed and sadden. but its not like hed give up, he just wanted to give off the impression that he didnt care, but he did.

"to think someone could reject me, its refreshing." hed smile it off but you can only sigh, it just seems like hes trying to remind you of that.

he thinks to himself that if expensive gifts wont work on you, hed switch to personalized ones. like a favorite show you mentioned, he would buy merch and give it to you. or if you mentioned a book you wanted to read but never had the time to go buy it, hed buy it for you alright.

hed try to make it hard for you to completely cut him off by just spending an abundance amount on the funds, donations or buying out your workplace...

hes always offering to help, but even when you did refuse hed just play it off as being generous, but really he just doesnt want to give up on you.

he resorts to more desperate measures without even realizing it. "youre the only person who sees who i really am. if you leave too...whats left of me..?" hed caress your hand with his thumbs. lifting the hand to give a sweet gentle kiss to it.

"reo, you have to learn how-" he cuts you off, pulling you in to take hold of your waist.

"why do you fight so much? you care about me, i know you do!" your hands lay on his chest to try and push him off, but he wouldnt budge even a bit! "not in the way you want me to reo. youre my patient." hed stay silent for a bit, biting his lips from your response until blood was drawn. only to let out a bitter laugh.

"so im just another patient for you? just another worthless being you have to fix?!" hed squeeze you tighter, until your bodies connected. "youre not worthless reo. and youre important to me, but it isnt right to do this." youd frown hoping he can finally understand the situation hes in right now.

"then why does it feel like youre the only thing keeping me together..?" hed rest his forehead on your shoulder with his voice cracking. "please. just let me love you. youre my treasure."

this took forever to write and think out i hope it is okay to you guys! since it is not smut i feel like it will flop ( ‾́ ◡ ‾́ )

[purinminmin]

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆ 500 MILLION HOURS -> ushijima wakatoshi !!!

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ alexandra by reality club

synopsis; in which ushijima slowly realizes he's grown fond of the unexpected, as long as it was in the shape of you cw: fluff/slight angst (?), yearning obvi , ushi doesnt what to make of his feelings , pre!timeskip, unproofread + lowercase, can be interpreted as gn! , self-indulgent , ooc grr... (lmk if i forget something!!!)

"on a park bench, under the moon"

ushijima shouldn't have cared that much.

it was just a hug...right? it didn't mean anything?

enough, he wont torture himself with this. human emotions weren't exactly his strongest suit. he should just stick to volleyball.

but why did he feel his heart race when he looked down at you, with your arms wrapped around him? you who he towered over so easily? one look in your eyes and he found it hard to fight his irrational urge to pick you up and cradle you close to his body. excuse me...where did that even come from?

he cleared his throat to clear his mind, his gravelly voice filling the air.

"you're being clingy right now." yep, that was ushijima. blunt and concise as always. he saw you pull away with a huff, and he couldn't help but feel a pang of regret, maybe. he couldn't tell, all he knew was that he might've wanted your embrace around him for a second longer. his thoughts stopped swirling when you cut through it with your voice, something he always compared to the melodic tunes of a windchime, even as you used it to get sarcastic with him. he never did really get your humor.

"well, you should be used to it. we've been friends for forever."

"it's only been 5 years. besides, we'd both die before we become 'friends for forever.'"

you groaned at him with indignation, did he always have to take things so literally? it was only an exaggeration....you resumed your earlier pace, returning into a stride as you remembered why you were out so late at night anyway.

popsicles were far too good...it was a hot midnight and you craved some after being woken up to a dream of it. naturally, you texted him first. and here you were, sneaking out of the dorms as the both of you walked to the convenience store. you don't know how you managed to convince him to go with you. you didn't even notice how quickly his reply had sent, as if he was waiting for hours to hear from you.

just as you began to retort, he suddenly spoke and clashed with your own words:

"well-"

"you've never hugged me this much."

you cut yourself off to let him finish speaking. the both of you walk in the tranquility of night for a second, as if trying to let that awkward moment float away in the soft breeze.

what? why were you looking at him in that way? he was just being honest....you know he's always been blunt. you wouldn't judge him, would you? he was relieved when you broke the silence, letting out a soft breath. why was he so worried if he weirded you out? it's not like he expected you to run back to your dorm and leave him alone with a broken heart. nope, not at all.

"is it a crime to want to hug a friend? brighten up sometimes, ushi."

before he could say that he was not a flashlight therefore he could not brighten up, and that it was never a crime to touch someone unless it was to an extreme, you shushed him; as if you almost knew what he was going to say already. which you probably did...god, why did that make his heart squeeze?

"a-ba-bah-bah, don't say anything. let's just buy the popsicles.

─── ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ───

he found himself sitting at a park bench beside you, who was noisily slurping up the popsicles you had purchased and was obviously annoyed that it had melted that quickly. well, that's what popsicles usually did in the heat, after all

your beauty was simply divine, even when you were making the silliest faces as you tried to catch the juice that dripped down the popsicle stick. he thought you could rival even the goddess' when he saw the moonlight bounce off your eyes, making it sparkle more so than it usually did.

he noticed that you downed both of the popsicles immediately, leaving you with two plain sticks. he watched you stare at them for a while, before tucking it under your lips to create makeshift fangs.

"i'm dracula, bleh bleh blegh"

then you doubled over laughing at the joke (?) you made, he presumed. he was not getting any better at this.

he doesn't understand you.

he hates it. hates not knowing what you'll do next.

strangely enough, it's what draws him to you. he wants to analyze you. he wants to laugh at your jokes. he wants to know how you wanted to be loved. he wants to learn every single nook and cranny that created the outline of you.

he's aware volleyball was all he's ever mastered.

but you....you make him feel emotions that he didn't know he was possible of feeling. like he could dive in choppy waters and remain unscathed. heck, he felt cocky enough to puff up his chest and say those three special words already.

my god, if he was acting on something he barely knew about, then what was he?

oh no.

he. was. a. fool.

for you, no less.

he so badly wanted to risk your friendship and confess at that very moment, yearned to finally grasp you in his arms the way you did.

no, screw that. he wouldn't know what to do.

so he resolved to wait instead. to wait until you made the first move. to wait until you had shown reassurance that you longed for him as much as he did for you.

if only he knew what was running in your mind as you chewed absent-mindedly on your popsicle stick, then he'd know that his feelings weren't unrequited after all. all you were thinking about was your next move, you had to make it bigger and bolder, because he just wouldn't get it otherwise. the signs were all there, she was so obvious, ushijima. it's a shame, really.

but whatever, he's decided that he'd spend 500 million hours waiting, dedicate all his minutes to you; in hopes that by each ticking second, you would finally find your way to your rightful place:

by his side.

"but in full view of what you are, you’re a goddess, you’re my rock star"

a/n: hahehuhiho i love basing my fics on songs sm. i remember yapping to my friend about creating this fic and said i should go for it...uu have her to thank gyus UGHH I CANT GET OVER HIM I WANNA MAKE MORE FICS WITH THIS KIND OF USHI should i make this into a 3-part fic that ends in total angst

[reverd-ck]

gojo satoru was a very peculiar man, you told yourself. there could be any reason in the world why he would be acting this way, yet you dont even want to try to think about one anymore. 

who did you even have as a partner, a large overgrown cat?

you stare at him as he slumps on the couch, sighing a little too dramatically for it to be considered genuine. 

you roll your eyes as you try to ignore him, but his antics were getting unbearable now.

as he sighed out loud for the nth time, you finally spoke up.

“satoru, what do you want now?!” 

he looked at you with his pretty eyes before proclaiming “nothing much… just sulking…”

“sulking for what, satoru?” you reply, already annoyed because you knew it was for a petty reason.

gojo looked at you before turning away. “no, you wouldnt get it. i guess you cant get me at all anymore…” he says, dropping his head and continuing to slump on the couch.

jesus, what was wrong with him sometimes? 

“satoru gojo.” you call out, getting his attention.

“ooh, full government name. i wonder whats in store for me.” he deadpans.

“what is making you hate me right now?”

gojo scoffs, turning his head to the side and looking at the wall. “oh nothing, just surprised my sweet girl suddenly knows i exist.”

you blink at him once. what was he going on about?

he sighs dramatically again, before once again thumping down on the couch.

“in case you dont remember, someone forgot to say hi to me when she came home.” he says with indignation.

was that seriously it?!

“really, satoru?” you question, wondering if its real or not. well, judging by his character, you were pretty sure he got all worked up simply because you forgot to say that you arrived home.

this stupid, handsome man.

he doesnt respond at all, which confirms his reasoning.

you laugh a little. was this really it? you had hoped it was something as small as this, but there was always a chance you actually did something wrong. you never knew with gojo as your partner.

“look, baby im sorry i didnt greet you when i got home. what do you want now?”

gojo finally looks at you, eyes sparkling just a little. 

“only thing that’ll help are cuddles. right now.”

you start laughing hard as you tackle him on the couch, trying to win back your innocence. you smiled as you finally got an excuse to crush gojo, in all of his 6’2 glory.

“okay okay i forgive you!” gojo says, laughing in between his words. 

as you guys settle down, he laughs and kisses your cheek, pulling you closer to him. 

“you’ve been so busy with work lately,” he pouts, “it seems like i’m no longer your very first priority…”

“oh please, you’ll always be on top of my list.”

“you promise?” gojo asks, arms tightening around you.

“i promise.”

a/n: sorry for not posting in a long time, i don't even have a reason i spend too much time consuming media than producing it.

likes and reblogs appreciated <3

[eighttens]

Elevatorcrush!Yunho x reader

Synapses: so… maybe you’re kind of a stalker, but who wouldnt be over a guy like that?!

Note: inspired heavily by Yunho‘s forehead, lord praise the stylists for letting it breathe this comeback!!!! I love it so much he looks too good im not normal about him at all. Hope you enjoy, please dont be a silent reader- share your thoughts and if you have ideas PLEASE REQUEST MY INBOX IS OPEN!!!!

You had a confession to make. You took the elevator in your apartment complex every chance you could get. Not for any medical or physical needs, not because you were too lazy to take the stairs, not because your bag is heavy, no. None of that. It’s all because of him.

The first few times you saw he didn’t really register in your brain. You only took in his towering height and slender form before focusing on whatever else was on your mind again. Probably because the first few times you really were always too tired to climb the seven flights to your floor.

You’ve taken notice of him again and again since then though. He looked to be a few years, three or four at most, older than you, and judging by the briefcase you thought he worked in some higher profession. The business casual style also doesnt stop your fantasizing, quite the opposite actually. You wont lie, you’ve imagined once or twice what he works as; a doctor? A lawyer? Dare you imagine, a professor? The thought alone makes your head swirl, so you’re quick to dismiss it every time.

Since you started paying more attention to the people (person) on the elevator with you, you may or may not have started to synch up your routines with a certain man your eyes find time and time again. You didnt know much about him, other than that he always got on and off the fourth floor, and the times he came and went.

It started with a simple coincidence. You left a few minutes earlier than usual because you had a project at Uni that required a lot of materials, prompting you to take the elevator for convenience. Lo and behold, there he was again, stepping into the elevator as it made a stop on the fourth floor. You nodded at one another, and he sent you a small, seemingly sympathetic smile as he eyed all the materials you were carrying. Since then you knew that he left for work at 7:15 sharp, and since then you’ve subconsciously started your morning 15 minutes earlier too, to match schedules, but he didnt have to know that.

In terms of the time of return, you didnt have to change much (not that you were changing anything in the first place, you told yourself). You simply had to get home a tad bit faster, and then take the elevator. There, you and him would shuffle into the small space and share a moment of silence before he would step off, leaving you to ascend further on your own.

Today was a day like most other, you made it though all your classes managed to hand in the work that was looming over your head, and your timing was right on the money to see a certain someone. You might be a little very exited to see him, you admit, but you allowed yourself the unsolicited giddiness that spread through your body at the thought of him.

Youre glad you were wearing a bit of a nicer outfit that day, because by some high heavens grace, something in his appearance had changed. You felt stalker-ish for noticing the change, but you couldn’t stop yourself from gushing over it. His forehead. Where normally the black bangs would lie against his skin, kissing his eyebrows, his hair was pushed back for a change.

Your reaction was very normal. Yes, you were feeling extremely normal about this change. Nothing like a man from the middle-ages seeing ankles for the first time, no, nothing like that at all.

You stood a little stiff in the elevator next to him, heels pressed against one another to keep you grounded as you practically buzzed where you stood. Oh my gosh girl get a grip! You wanted to curse yourself, but before any of the self deprivation could really start, the silence in the elevator broke.

He cleared his throat, hand coming up to shield his mouth as he coughed into his fist. Your head whipped over to his and you could see him glancing at you from the corner of his eyes. Never in a million years would you have expected to hear a noise from him, but you would have to thank the heavens later for the cold-seasons. You were content now, happy to have heard his voice.

He really threw you for a loop when he spoke again however, leaning down to match your height, probably make you a little more comfortable. „This might be a little out of nowhere, and i hope i dont sounds really weird and creepy but your perfume is really nice.“ his voice was low, as not to disturb the silence in the apartment complex.

Before you have time to soak in his words, even less to think of a response, the elevator has already reached the fourth floor. He‘s swift in his exit, leaving you reaching out for him dumbly, scrambling to think up some words. No success, so you just watch his leaving form with an open mouth.

Once his words sink in though, your face starts warming, your stomach spinning and your knees becoming embarrassingly weak. „Thanks…“ you say to no one in particular as the doors open again: on the seventh floor this time. You float to your apartment, unlocking the door with a wide smile on your face. What was the chance of something like this happening? Slim to none at all, you think as your smile widens again (if that’s even possible).

Was this the start of something? Only time could tell… well, ten hours and nineteen minutes, but you weren’t counting…

[lightsovermonaco]

Wedding Date, Part 1 (Pato O'Ward)

an: requests and comments always welcome! There will be at least two more parts to this series.

wc: 4900

Summary: Pato is in need of a wedding date, desperately. Despite hating him, and despite him knowing it, he asks you to be his date and you agree.

"I need a date to this wedding next weekend."

"So? Take your sister." You don't bother to look up from the magazine you flip through. Pato is always in need of a date for something and he always takes his sister. If she's busy, he'll take his mother, or a cousin, or another relative until he's exhausted all options. You're not entirely sure why he's pacing in his trailer now like a caged beast, because even if by some rarity they were all busy, there's a slew of women around the paddock that would jump at the chance to go with him... just not you.

Your distaste of Pato began long before you were ‘promoted’ to the glamorous role of being his pseudo-handler. His flirtatious personality, womanizing one liners and general flippant humor surrounding racing rubs you the wrong way. Racing is a serious business and should be treated as such. It's his lifeblood, not a hobby. Some days you question his dedication, honestly- but voicing said opinions isn't your place. 

Oh, and women. He loves women, too. And the occasional man- You don’t judge him on that front, but god would it kill him to be discreet?

Besides- he's so loud, physically as well as mentally. Being around Pato drains your social battery quicker than a meeting with Zac Brown, and that's saying something. All the Mexican driver does is yap- and not in the fun, gossipy way that people do with their friends.  

In short, you cannot stand the man and would rather walk a mile over hot coals than spend an unnecessary minute with him. 

However, unfortunately for you, your exemplary ability to separate your personal feelings from your work made you the prime candidate for being an assistant. If you had to pinpoint the core tenet of your day to day life, it was the importance of separating church and state; wherein this case, the church is a race track and the state is yourself. People like that apparently, because multiple of your colleagues recommended you for your current role when the job opened up. 

Cue your transition to being Pato's personal therapist slash coordinator slash problem solver. 

Pato scoffs and throws his hands up like a child denied their favorite treat, "so she's busy. And last time I took her to a wedding, she made me leave so early I didn't even get cake! It was horrible.”

"Honestly, from what I heard that's not her fault. Who waits until eleven pm to serve the wedding cake?"

Pato pauses, his half undone race suit swaying slightly at the waist as he turns to wag a finger at you "Someone who doesn't want to interrupt the party, that's who. We were all out on the dance floor, having fun and enjoying ourselves!” You roll your eyes, but Pato either doesn't notice or doesnt care as he continues, “And I'm getting kinda sick of having her at every event... she likes to steal the spotlight."

"Here we go," you mumble, flipping the page and preparing for a long winded Pato-themed rant. 

“I love her, but when I'm the one that's invited in the first place I don't want to leave early. I want to enjoy it, you know? This is Felix's wedding, I want to bring someone fun… hey!” Pato snaps his fingers and turns to you with wide eyes and a grin that has you instantly on edge. You know that face; it means he's got a wild idea, particularly one that requires your assistance to complete. 

“Who am I messaging,” you deadpan as you pull out your phone. No doubt there's some obscure influencer that he's set his eyes on. It'll be up to you then to set up the date (using Pato's Instagram of course, to which you have full access), arrange her flights, ensure her dress is suitable so as to not cause a scandal, and secure two hotel rooms for however long Pato decides his holiday should be. 

“No one! No one- I was just thinking…” Pato’s eyes twinkle like stars. He rolls his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger as he contemplates his request, until finally he says, “why don't you come with me?”

You choke on air at the absurd suggestion. A million reasons flood your mind: because it's unprofessional and because you'd rather endure nails scraping on a chalkboard until the end of time to name a few. 

“I'm not hearing a no,” Pato sing-songs as his stupid grin grows wider and wider. 

“No!” You would like to tell him to fuck off, but your self respect keeps you from doing so. “Where the hell did that insane idea come from-��

“Come on,” Pato holds his hands out in front of him like a beggar in search of pocket change. “Come with me! I'll pay for whatever dress you pick out, the hotel room, flights, everything. I'll take care of it all. Who knows,” Pato shrugs then, the corner of his mouth lifting again in a devilish smile. “Maybe you'll even have fun.”

“Uh, no. Hell no. Even if it wasn't completely unprofessional, I would lose my mind before we even got on a plane. So thanks, but no thanks to being your fake date.”

Pato throws his hands up, the action causing his black fireproofs to come free of his race suit and expose an inch or two of his stomach. Not that you notice. Or care. “Oh come on! Am I really that horrible to be around?”

“Yes,” you respond without looking up from your phone. You make a note on your calendar to have Pato's mental sanity checked before the end of the break, because clearly the music city GP has knocked something loose in his head. 

“I'll give you my race bonus next time I score points.”

That finally gives you pause. You've seen those checks, even deposited them on his behalf once or twice. Tempting, very tempting. Possibly enticing enough for you to throw all thoughts of work-life balance out the window and commit to a few days of torture.

“Can I get that offer in writing?”

**********

“This is insane.” Despite the excessive force you exert on your suitcase, you can't zip the damn thing shut. You've tried sitting on it, rearranging twice, and removing a few things that you decided you don't absolutely need. Maybe the stubborn luggage is the first of many bad omens, the start of the bad luck you've brought upon yourself by accepting Pato's bargain. Perhaps the wisest thing to do is to call him and cancel, even if doing so at the last minute makes you a bit of an ass. 

But doing so would mean you miss an all inclusive, all expenses paid trip to Copenhagen, and who could pass that up? You've never stepped foot outside the Midwest, let alone outside of the country. Passing up an opportunity like this seems wasteful. Anyone else would jump at the opportunity. You shouldn’t let your dislike of the man supplying the credit card stop you from enjoying something.

“Fucking hell,” you mumble under your breath. You can't change your mind now, not after Pato's bought you a dress that's more expensive than the one you wore to your senior prom. The guilt of leaving him to fend for himself and arrive at his best mate's wedding dateless would eat you alive. And besides, you are not returning the dress you picked out. 

“One more go. If I can't get this dumb thing closed in the next three minutes, I won't go.” You tip your head towards the ceiling, “hear that? Three minutes!” 

Your aimless skyward shout is answered by your upstairs neighbor, who stamps their foot. “Ah- sorry Miss. Underwood!” The cranky old woman that lives above you has reported you more than once for bogus reasons; you would rather not have to deal with the front office before your international trip. 

Someone, somewhere must have heard your plea and responded with much more grace than Miss. Underwood, because the suitcase zips closed near effortlessly on your next attempt. “Aha! Finally! God, that was close.”

A message pops up on your phone with near poetic timing, coming not a second after you've dramatically wiped your brow and dusted off your hands. 

I'm leaving now, should be there in about a half hour. You ready?

The idea of riding in a car with Pato alone sounds less ideal than following his strict diet for a single day. Reminding yourself that this is a professional weekend away in Europe and not a personal venture is enough to settle your nerves for now. You can be professional, no problem. Easy peasy.

Yep. I'm still fine with an Uber if you don't want to drive me.

Too late I made up my mind :) see you soon!

“Insufferable.” Dread sets in where excitement lived earlier. You aren't a hundred percent sure you can survive four days with Pato O'Ward in a foreign country. Your limits will be tested, that much you know for sure because you can count on Pato to push every available button you have in order to get a rise out of you. 

Opting for a balance between comfort and style, a simple pair of black leggings and an oversized vintage indy 500 sweater is your preferred travel outfit. Your hair you leave in your usual casual style, not bothering to put in the effort to do anything special with it when it'll likely be ruined by the time you touch down in Copenhagen. 

Pato knocks when he arrives, which seems far too polite to be correct. Part of you expected him to barge in unannounced and make your one bedroom apartment his own. “Hola bella,” he greets with a smile. His hands stay in his pockets. He doesn't invite himself in, despite you leaving the door wide open when you step away to grab your things. 

Interesting. 

“You can come in,” you call over your shoulder. “I have to finish packing up my makeup since you're here early.”

“Oh, yeah sorry. Traffic was lighter than I expected.” It’s odd seeing Pato in anything that isn’t papaya colored or decorated with some sort of racing logo. He wears a forest green hoodie with a little red heart in the center with a pair of matching sweats. It’s one of those outfits that seems cringe on the average person, but works infuriatingly well on Pato.

Pato doesn't venture further into your apartment than the three steps that are required for him to be able to close the door without it hitting him. You purse your lips and motion to the sofa as your hosting instinct takes over, “you can sit if you want. I should only be a few minutes.”

“Take your time, our flight doesn't leave for a few hours. No rush.” You hate it when Pato tips his head and smiles like that because for a split second every time you hate him a little bit less. Thankfully, it all comes back in full force when he looks away from you. 

Despite Pato’s reassurance you do rush, because the idea of him scrutinizing your place is mortifying. Like, ‘oh fuck me I forgot to wear pants to the board meeting' level of embarrassing to know that he’s out there judging your decor or wondering how you’ve shoved so much into such a tiny one bedroom apartment. Sure, it's small, but it's home and you couldn't imagine living anywhere else. While a bigger place might be nice someday, your paychecks remind you to keep your dreams in check on a biweekly basis. 

To be safe and avoid giving Pato time to linger, you sweep the contents of your vanity into a zippered bag and stuff it into your carry on. You do a final cursory lap through the attached bathroom to ensure all hair dryers, candle warmers, and taps are turned off or unplugged. Once satisfied, you drag your overweight suitcase out. 

“Okay, I think I'm ready.” 

Pato stands in your living room checking out the knock off vintage style race posters that decorate the walls. As expensive as authentic race memorabilia is, you can’t exactly afford to spend hundreds on a single slip of paper for the sake only of hanging it on a wall. Only one poster is real and that is the poster you purchased from the first race you were trackside for with Arrow. Pato points to that one with a cheeky grin, “that's the first race you worked with us, isn't it? I remember that being the first time I saw you on track.” 

“Yes, it was. Now can we go?” You shift on your feet, uncomfortable now that Pato is seeing a side of you that you don't normally share with anyone but your close friends and family. Heaven forbid he notices the family photos on the lower shelf, then you'll be mortified when he laughs at how silly you looked in your Halloween costumes when you were little. 

“Oh yeah, of course. I'm sure you're excited to get a move on!” Pato reaches for your suitcase which catches you off guard. You snatch the handle before he can. “I can help, I really don’t mind. You’re doing me a favor after all.”

Your stubborn independence does not allow you to accept unnecessary help, so you shake your head. “Sorry,” you mumble as your cheeks heat. “I can take care of it.” 

“Alright, note to self… don't be too polite or it'll set you off.” Pato winks, then holds the door for you as you both exit. He waits at the stairs while you lock up, then leads the way to the Mercedes parked at the curb. 

“Right, just the one suitcase? You've got your dress packed in here right?” Pato hefts the suitcase into the car and grins. “Actually I know the answer to that. I told you that you could've spent more on a dress. A hundred dollars? That's it?”

“I don't like wasting money,” you snap. “To some of us, that's expensive.” 

Money has been, and always will be, a touchy subject. Growing up with very little means that you now scrutinize every penny, only spending regularly on things that are strictly necessary. Your budget each month is airtight and you are always careful to save a fair amount before you so much as consider treating yourself to something off your wishlist. 

Pato holds up his hands in apology. “Wasn't trying to insult you, just trying to make conversation. You're doing me a favor here so I just wanted to make sure you got what you wanted.” 

“Right, sure.” Spinning the ring on your left index finger has become somewhat of a nervous tick for you. Pato’s eyes flick to your hands, which immediately sets you on edge. Racing drivers are an observant breed, which is something you silently curse the universe for. 

The ride to the airport is filled with awkward silences. The quiet is broken by the sound of the engine and the occasional directive from the gps on the dash. Pato’s playlist is a mix of spanish and english and you willfully ignore when he occasionally sings along under his breath. So you keep quiet with your attention locked on your phone to avoid being dragged into any small talk. 

The plane ride is more of the same: quiet and tense. Which is partially because despite you insisting on a simple, affordable coach ticket, Pato had ignored your wishes and booked both of you in business class. At least the long flight would be comfortable if nothing else. Granted it would be more enjoyable if you weren't sitting next to a five-foot-something racing driver, but beggars can't be choosers. 

“It's a long flight, so I thought I'd give you the window. The sun will be coming up when we're over Europe, and the view is always to die for. I got us seats on the left side of the plane so you can have the best photo opportunities.” 

That's the second time today that Pato has surprised you, though you would rather eat soap than admit that to his face. “I usually like the aisle, but thanks I guess. I'll probably be sleeping anyway.” 

Pato's expression is one of regret, like maybe he's realizing how insane of an idea this is. “Err, right. I guess I should've known that, considering how often we fly together.”

“We don't fly together. When we have to fly to a race, you fly business class and I sit in the back with the rest of the regular people,” you remind him without remorse. You hate when he throws his wealth in your face, like the seat you're occupying doesn't cost a month's worth of your salary. 

“Right…” 

You almost feel bad. But then you remember that Pato has everything he could ever want or need, and you’re right back to where you started. 

Despite how well you think you hide it, Pato is fully aware of your feelings toward him, or rather lack thereof. Where the relationships you nurture with your other colleagues are fun and friendly, the one you maintain with Pato is strictly professional. Seeing you pivot from laughing with Rossi- Rossi of all people- one minute, to relaying instructions to him in a mechanical voice is evidence enough of how little you think of him. 

Pato has no idea why you're so set on hating him. He has no inkling what he might have done to deserve such animosity. It seems like no matter what he does, your frosty attitude only worsens into an arctic chill. He thought that bringing you on this trip might open your eyes to the other side of him, that maybe allowing you to see what he was like outside of the track could prove to you that he wasn’t the devil that you thought he was. 

So far, no dice. You declined his invitation to join him for breakfast at the highest rated cafe in the city this morning, so he'd gone alone instead and relished the fact that not a single person asked him for a photo or shoved a scrap of paper in his face for him to sign. Once in a while it was nice to fly under the radar, to pass by hundreds of people on the street and have them be none the wiser to his achievements. 

The concept of downtime is foreign to Pato. Being alone and unbothered gave him time to ruminate, which is why he generally preferred to surround himself with a certain level of chaos. In the paddock, that generally meant entertaining himself and others by being the class clown. Cameras are everywhere on a race weekend, watching him like a bug under a magnifying glass, so he generally humored them by putting on a bit of a show. In his personal life, the chaos came from the frequent visits to his hometown where he would be surrounded by family and pets that kept him on his toes. 

Now that he has had time to reflect, Pato is beginning to see the foolishness in his impulsive decision. Asking you to be his date was arguably up there with the dumbest things he's ever done, and that's saying something considering he'd once poured honey in Rossi's boots on a race weekend. He understands now, at least partially, why you were hesitant to accept. 

It doesn't bother him, the fact that you can't stand him. Pato enjoys poking you, seeing how far he can press before you snap at him. It's his way of flirting because yes, he thinks you're gorgeous. There's no point denying it so he might as well embrace it. Perhaps his invitation was wholly selfish, his way of trying to cope with the offseason and knowing he likely wouldn’t be seeing you for weeks at a time. You would miss him as little as one might miss the sticky summer humidity, while Pato would miss you like the sun misses the moon. 

Which is fine. It's fine if you don't laugh at his jokes. It's fine if your lip curls like you've smelt rotten milk whenever he speaks and you don't think he's looking. It’s fine that you don’t spare him a second of your attention, even now when he’s brought you on a trip that he thought could be the start of some positive change. That's all fine, because it doesn't matter if you like him or not. 

Okay, on second thought, maybe it does bother him a little. 

If anything, Pato hopes that this weekend will be the start of you at least tolerating him. Salvaging a scrap of understanding from you cannot be impossible, and even if it were, Pato has defied the odds numerous times before. No one believed in him when he was coming up through the karting ranks, but he did. And he believes in himself now, that he can begin to alter your opinion of him one small gesture at a time. 

Pato unlocks his phone to message you. 

Do you have plans today? I was gonna go to a few museums and see the sights if you wanna join. Up to you!

He debates for a minute about the exclamation mark. Is it too in your face? Too cheery or forceful? Eventually he deletes it before hitting send. Better to sound nonchalant than overdo it. 

His phone remains face down on the table until he finishes his tea. Seeming too eager could be his downfall and he is determined to make this seem as casual as possible. Only once an appropriate amount of time has passed does he allow himself to read your response: sure. I guess so but I don't want to blow my entire budget in one day just fyi

That's fair, dw a lot of it is free!

I'll be ready in an hour 

An hour, Pato can keep himself busy for an hour. Popping in an earbud and exploring for a bit seems like a decent option; he spends thirty minutes listening to music and just walking with no real aim in mind. Once back at the hotel, just on time as per usual, he freshens up in his room. 

Bare bones and necessities is what Patp prefers when he travels. He doesn't like the pomp and circumstance that comes along with a suite; the hotel staff treat him differently when he stays in the expensive rooms even if they haven't the faintest clue who he is. He prefers unassuming, single bed rooms that are no fuss, no muss. And that sort of room is exactly what he booked himself in Copenhagen: low nightly rate, plain but clean white bed sheets, and a bathroom barely big enough to turn around in. 

The room Pato picked for you was this room's opposite. The queen suite was available on the website when he made the last minute reservation and he had not seen any reason not to treat you to a taste of luxury for the weekend. Silk sheets, a fully decorated sitting room, and walk in waterfall shower were only the tip of the iceberg. Included in the weekend rate was a night at the in-house spa if you chose to use it. And while Pato is quite certain you won't bother, he thinks the choice might be nice nonetheless.

Pato had selected that room without a second thought and gone as far as requesting your favorite drinks be stocked up in the suite fridge for your arrival. Since arriving last night, you haven't mentioned the room. Which doesn't matter, because Pato doesn't need the praise; in fact, kind words would feel slightly out of place from you. 

The elevator takes Pato to the top floor, where he finds your room at the end of the hall. It's not hard to find, considering there's three doors in the entire hallway. Pato knocks twice, then steps back to wait. 

“Yeah, coming,” comes your muffled call from inside. The brass room number plate on the door reflects a slightly distorted version of Pato. He can't make a decent impression looking wonky with his hair a mess; how unattractive is hair that stands up on end in every which way? Pato runs his fingers through his hair to loosen up the extra putty he'd applied. The door opens suddenly and you catch him red handed, one hand in his hair and the other holding his phone. 

Perfect.

“I guess I'm never escaping the vanity accusations huh?” Pato's laugh is shaky, awkward even to his own ears. He drops his hands and does his best not to let his gaze wander over you, as tempting as it is. He's determined to make a good impression this weekend, and blatantly checking you out probably wouldn't help his case. 

“Nope, never.” You shake your head and let the oak door click shut behind you. “Well then, you're the man with the plan. Have you been to Copenhagen before or are you just going to the typical tourist places?”

“Hold on, hold on. I think that's the most you've ever said to me at once that wasn't work related. I need a second to process this- you have a personality? This is big news!” Pato grins, hoping to ease into things. He knows it's bad when you don't immediately return the smile. 

Pato doesn't really tend to think around you,  hence the near constant shitty jokes. His brain takes a break from its normal high strung, ping ponging thoughts and empties itself of unnecessary noise. When in your presence, Pato is unfiltered and unapologetically himself. 

When you started at McLaren, he quickly learned that you were safe. Judgment was not something you leveled lightly upon someone. Your prickly exterior was a way of ensuring you don't let the wrong people get close enough to hurt you, but Pato knows that's not all of it. Regardless of how you presented yourself to the world, Pato knows you care deeply for those you choose to include in your life. He also knows you'll always be there when he fails, a steady shoulder for him to lean on- which is more than he can say about many of his previous driver assistants. 

Being comfortable is freeing, but it also gets him in trouble with you more often than he would like. Judging by your current deadpan, he's qualified deadlast as far as ‘appropriately timed humor’ is concerned. “That was a joke,” Pato says after a pause that stretches for an eternity.”

“I am aware that was your attempt at being funny.” You cross your arms and Pato notes the tiny papaya indy car embroidered on the cuff of your cream sweater. “Has anyone ever told you that you're insufferable? You know what, on second thought maybe I'll just stay here.” 

All at once, Pato flies through fear, regret and guilt in the half second it takes you to turn towards the door. He fucks everything up, doesnt he? Gets a good thing going for once, finally convinces you to spend some one on one time with him, and he winds up spilling the marbles. This isn't racing; he can't act on instinct and expect the best outcome. He has to be calculated, hold his tongue and not speak until he's sure the words are the one he wants to say. 

“No wait.” Pato’s fingers brush your arm to stop you. “Look, I'm just trying to be sure you enjoy your time here. I've never been here before,” he adds in answer to your earlier question. “I'm as much of a tourist as you are, so having an exploration partner would be good.” 

“I don't really feel like doing anything with you if you're going to be a dick. No, let me speak,” you say when he opens his mouth. “No macho bullshit alright? Just be normal. I don't need all the bravado and the jokes that make me feel like shit. Just… be Pato, alright? Be yourself for once.”

Pato knows he deserves all that and more. You let him off easy, really. He's been focused on creating a persona instead of being real with you. So Pato nods, centering himself like Rossi taught him last season. Once he feels like himself again some handful of breaths later, he offers you a genuine smile. 

“Let me start again. They have an aquarium here,” Pato says, voice light. Without willing it, a half smile appears on his lips when you tip your head ever so slightly, indicating for him to continue. “I love aquariums, sea otters are my favorite animal. And the jellyfish are cute too! With their squishy bodies and the tentacles-”

There he goes again, his mouth racing a lap ahead of his good sense. Pato's apologetic wince isn't a proper apology, but you accept it nonetheless and throw him a bone that he'll happily chew on. 

“I like aquariums. That sounds like it could be fun.”

[leah2eroes]

Is it bad/wrong to want to fuck therians as a person/someone who’s not quite sure if they’re therian?

not really? look, different therians will have different views and opinions on their own sexuality and how theyre perceived by others. youre not *wrong* for having attraction. if you yourself are a person (or at the very least are not certain that you are therian) and youre attracted to someone who *is* therian, then imo you should see how they feel about it.

for me, anyone whos exclusively/primarily attracted to me through my physical appearance (which is unsurprisingly pretty humanoid lol) then theyre not attracted to me in the same way as someone who is into me because of who i *am*. it doesnt make them any worse of a person for being into my body. my fiance is very into my body, and is enthusiastic about how attractive it is to xem. and thats great! it feels fetishistic to me only by nature of my body being an object within which i happen to live, and that is fixated upon by those attracted to me. and thats cool! i wont judge u for being into my tits! i mean im growing them for a reason lol

however those who are primarily attracted to me due to my personality and such, which is far far more reflective of my therian identity than my physical body, then the person in question will simply have to contend with the knowledge that theyre attracted to an animal. this is obviously a little difficult for some to come to terms with. however it is a prime example of why zoophilia and bestiality should not be conflated with one another necessarily. if you are attracted to me for who i am in such a way, then categorically speaking thats zoophilic attraction. to say otherwise would be to doubt/deny my identity as an animal. obviously, by no means do you need to claim this label for yourself (though feel free to if you want to). you could call yourself a "theriophile" if you really want; youre far less likely to be accused of animal abuse that way. and i get wanting to avoid paraphile labels due to their reputation, but at some point you have to admit that wanting to have sexual contact with the wolfdog girl who growls and barks and wears a simulacrum of a canine penis as a strap-on, is kinda zooey lmao. and if this is you, then youre also not a bad person! as i said, youre not wrong for having attraction. just dont be harmful or abusive to anyone or anything, and youre good!

if by chance this anon was about some other lucky therian out there, then itd be wise to ask them about it. this is unsurprisingly a contentious issue because many people are still stuck in the weeds of puritanical anti-kink anti-para discourse, and will turn up their nose at the idea of zoophilia being related to therianthropy in any capacity. everyone will have their own take on this, but as a sex-positive animal girl, this makes the most sense to me.

[whole-circus]

Can you do when the Proxies, Eyeless Jack, and Slenderman, find out the reader has a extra appendage like a tail? Although the reader doesn't hide it they just use it like a belt but rarely use it?? (How has your day been? Also please make sure to not stress yourself)

Creepypastas with reader that has a tail!

➥ with "Ticci" Toby, Masky, Hoodie, Eyeless Jack, Slenderman

Hi love!!! Thank you and remember to take care about yourself too!!&lt;3 Im going a bit insane in my room lol But I hope you felt at least okay!

˚　　✦　　　. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. 　　　✦　　˚

"Ticci" Toby

Toby finds you so cool! He wouldnt really notice at first that its actual tail, but how long he can stay clueless? When he finally gets it, he is so excited i swear. You almost make him wish that he had tail instead, but he cant complain since his partner have it! Toby will beg you to touch it and play with it, he is way happier about the tail than you (and you literally live with this things.. with tail, not toby). Loves to lay down with you and cuddle, your tail wrapped around his hand/ leg/just anything. Loves playing with it when he needs to keep his hands busy. Toby would be also respectful if you dont like having your tail touched becasue i can only imagine how sensitive it is, just say the word and he will act like it doesnt even exist congrats, now he will play with your hand!

Masky

Honestly wouldnt make a big deal out of it? Masky is a simple man, and i feel like he wouldnt even noticed at first if you wear it as belt, would just think that you have weird fashion sense but who he is to judge?? But then it turns out that its actual tail? You are person of many suprises, arent you? Listen, he would definitely calls you some of this cheesy petnames like kitten or puppy just becasue of your tail 💀..like please, punch him or something. Overall good boyfriend, will fight for you and stroke your tail??

Hoodie

Good luck with him! Hoodie wants to touch it a lot! Its not like there are a lot of chances in life to pet someone tail, huh? Who can blame him in such cruel condictions..? Even if you use it as a belt, he loves when you just..let it swing by itself! That way he has easier acces to it, and i mean it - boy is in heaven. He would definitely tease you so so much! Hoodie will anno and you can expect at least couple of funny comments about your tail daily (or at least he thinks they are funny). I see him wearing a fake tail just to mess with you to be honest. Hoodie isnt the worst person, you will definitely get a lot of attention from him! Is it good or bad? I will let you decide!

Eyeless Jack

Okay, Jack really enjoyes having "not-so-normal" partner (well, in term of being a human). He tends to be a bit insecure sometimes about what he is, so you make it all a bit easier to him to be honest. Doesnt feel as weird - and of course he doesnt want you to feel this way! He is pretty observant (and well, have amazing senses), so propably noticed it when you used it as a belt, no need to tell him twice! Absolutely loves to make you flustreted!! Will tease the shit out of you, i mean it. Definitely will like to caress it and play with it (pls he is a bit like a cat), later will chuckle in his husky tone when you are embarassed and tell him to stop

Slenderman

Slenderman wont say too much..well not like he is the most talkactive person! He is fascinated by people, loves observing them and to learn about their nature..does it really matter for what reasons? We will just move on with that.. Anyways, if you ask me, Slender as not-human-creature likes seeing how everyone is diffrent event tho he had seen already a lot! There is really tiny wall between his hate and fascination for humans. But dont worry, its you who we talk about! He will ask some questions, but in his subtle and gentlemanly way! It doesnt matter to him if you are a bit diffrent, becasue he sees it more as your advantage than disadvantage! Slenderman would be more into intelect than look anyway i think. Wont touch your tail tho..well maybe not without your consent, but he just doesnt really care, he has seen almost everything in his 'life'.

˚　　✦　　　. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. 　　　✦　　˚　

[autismcatboy]

i hear the sunspot is a story about being human first, disabled second and a bl third. it doesnt flow like a bl and has very brief moments of romance because its not intended to be read/watched a romance.

the mangaka did not write it as a BL because she herself wasnt even familiar with it as a genre until after she started publishing. she was writing a story that just happens to also feature queer romance.

the live drama is not going to end with them getting together. its an adaption of just one series within the story and even at the most current series, they only barely got together.

the story is not unrealistic in how it handles communication (or lack thereof). its a lot easier to judge characters (and people in real life) when you think you have all the pieces, but the reality is we know very little about how others truly feel and when you have a lot going on and pulling you in different directions, its hard to know it yourself.

continued below the cut, spoiler free.

taichi and kohei are busy adults. between work/school, family and personal health, they dont have a lot of free time. many people dont have ways to contact friends they made in school because usually, you just see each other and dont think about exchanging contact information until later.

exchanging contact information is a bigger step to take in japan compared to places like the us. taichi uses a flip phone until hes pushed to get a smartphone after it breaks. data plans are expensive and many are selective about when and how they use them, and chatting apps like line are usually the main form of communication method. many people in the us dont like to give out their number or social media (which is also a feature of line) to people they know, like coworkers or classmates.

theres some pretty big assumptions about japanese culture and what its like to be a young adult by fans watching the drama that, in my opinion, just arent realistic. you're thinking like a bl fan and not like what people actually do in real life.

i hear the sunspot is a story about navigating the awkward, the hardships, fumbling and coming to terms with the things we may not like about ourselves. this isnt just about being disabled. able bodied, fully healthy people have things they dont like, push off and ignore. we see this in taichi, and how he continues to push that hes happy, nothing is wrong, he's just a big goofball and doesn't have anything below the surface and a lot of you have fallen for it.

relationships rarely go "we met, we fell in love, and now we are together and everything is perfect with only mild and entertaining drama." in fact id say they almost never do. people get scared to get close to other people, people dont think about if their feelings are romantic love or not when theyve never considered they might be gay. people get busy and distract themselves from addressing the things theyre not ready to look at and understand. all of these things happen much more often and often subconsciously, too.

people are mean and bullheaded when they feel like their comfort zone is threatened. people *run* when they feel like their status quo might change and they dont know what that will look like.

its easy to say someone is being ridiculous when you dont have their full story or dont stop to consider their circumstances. will it be different from how you'd react? absolutely. you lived a different life and had different experiences shape who you are.

but its equally as ridiculous to assume you know exactly how you'd react better than someone in their situation. no one is perfect, and definitely not 20 something year olds figuring out how to be adults after tough moments completely changed their childhoods. your early 20s, especially, is about thinking youre an adult and realizing just how little you know about adulthood. its easy to look back on when i was taichi and kohei's ages and say "oh there is a /lot/ that i fucked up with and couldve done better".

i hear the sunspot is about being human. the mistakes, the drama, the pain and the laughter. it happens to also have a gay love story but its not written to *be* a gay love story or even to be any love story in the first place.

if youre not willing to wait, and consider all the troubles that come before and during their relationship, this is not the story for you. save yourself the time, its got a long way to go. maybe come back in a few more years and see if the story resonates differently.

theyre not going to dive right into a relationship when they still barely know themselves.

[sbk-zgvlt]

Got this ask I wanted to share, Listen…..what about….Sebek getting a part time job….as some form of training

HE INFLICTS THE TRAINING UPON HIMSELF AND DIASOMNIA HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA ABOUT IT

He hears about Yuu complaining about how their world treats like. Fast food and retail employees and says "their job is literal HELL i dont know how they do it! everyone should treat them with respect" and he's like "HMMM A PERFECT WAY TO TRAIN MYSELF!!!"

So, during winter break, he takes up a job in both a fast food place and a retail store. Alright, hold up right there. Hey. You, the one reading this. Search up "jolibee worker uniform." Yeah. That's right. That's what he's wearing in the fast food place that is unrelated to Jolibee. Yeah.

Everyone in the Not Jolibee thinks he's a PAIN to work with because he does not get how these customers can end your entire career with a single recording. Either he's too loud, or he judges a customer's order, etc.

His boss sets him aside for a bit and goes "customer is always right bla bla bla" and what he doesnt know is that. Sebek treats any higher authority's words as LAW. So his performance suddenly SKYROCKETS and everyone else realizes "oh shit bro he's just a fucking puppy man. a little guy. if a customer starts telling him to refund their order he's going to refund their order now oh shit"

These guys have to work together to make sure that Sebek doesn't fall victim to sleazy customers and Karens. Except Karens have no effect on Sebek because anything they say goes over his head. "I'd like to speak to your manager!!!" "MY MANAGER IS BUSY, BUT I CAN SET UP A TIME AND PLACE FOR YOU!!!"

They get so put off by him that they leave. Everyone cheers. Sebek is now their Karen-repellant.

Anyways, Sebek gets whiplash from working in a retail store because there are NO uniforms to follow after. At best you just have to present yourself nicely. But not a single worker in Twisted Wonderland follows this rule because they just dress the aesthetic of their store. So, naturally, Sebek feels the need to follow after them too.

...did I mention that he works in Not Claires. Yeah, imagine that. Put their aesthetic onto Sebek. Yeah, YEAHHH.

Across from Not Claires is the Scorching Point (Totally not the twst equivalent of Hot Topic), and these two stores have NEVER interacted with each other. In comes Sebek, entering the mall in the most blandest outfit ever. But these retail workers see his stoic face, slicked back hair, and think "Oh. Scorching Point guy. Alright"

Imagine their surprise when he enters Not Claires instead, asking for the job. Someone from Scorching Point faints. Before he actually does any work one of the Not Claires employees suggest that he dress up like them for the appeal and to fit in with the general look of the store. Sebek says that he will.

Everyone has NO expectations for what Sebek is going to wear because bro literally went inside a mall looking like he goes there to window shop for household appliances only for their jaws to drop when he comes in with his hair down and decked out in PASTELS (He asked for help from Riddle who asked for help from Cater because "Sebek what the fuck is a Not Claires what is that"). Sebek had to be FORCED by Cater to style his hair down btw

And the thing is!!! Even if he works at Not Claires he ALWAYS goes over to Scorching Point on and off his shifts. Talks to this specific girl for some reason. Everyone else ignores it. The second week that Sebek's been there, a Scorching Point employee finally walks up to the Not Claires girl who always mans the cashier and asks for her number.

A bridge has been made between the two retail stores, carried by two lesbians and the green haired kid they like to gush about their crush to.

...Diasomnia still has no idea about this.

[fipindustries]

my joker

i already made a post where i descrived my personal favourite version of the DC trinity. now, under the light of the joker sequel apparently sucking ass (dont spoil it, i still want to see it) i decided i might as well share my personal favourite interpretation of the joker.

to start with i like to see him as a bit of a tragic figure, and very patently just a man. i have no interest in the current primordial agent of chaos, madness and anarchy that popular culture has been so infatuated with as of lately.

this is going to borrow heavily from the 90's DCAU and the old comics, before we had all this nonesense about the batgod who laughs or whatever. first of all he is a criminal, he commits crimes because they are useful to him. he has two modes, resource gathering and big project. first he steals from banks or extorts rich people or takes parts of the city hostage and demands the police or the mayor to give him money. he then uses the money for some absurd gigantic "prank" on the city. like releasing a bunch of rabid gorillas in tutus and boxing gloves, or making cats and dogs rain. is all about the stupid silly gags. i dont think having him return to silly cartoon gag comedy would necesarily make him any less horrifying since a lot of these things (dropping pianos on people, painting fake tunnels so that cars crash into them, hiding spring loaded boxing gloves in mail boxes that can genuenly kick your teeth out) are sufficiently horrifying on their own when you bring real world consequences into them. but the key thing is that he should be genuenly funny. to us. the readers, safely protected behind the fourth wall. where we can laugh at the jokes because this is fiction and these are just drawings on a page and so we can appreciate that the concept is actually clever and hilarious. i really dont like it when they make the joker commit attrocities and just because they put some smiley faces on top of it is supposed to be funny. is so lazy when the joker's plan consists on throwing a bunch of bombs but because they had the words "HAHAHA" painted on them its conceptually related to comedy. no! the pranks the joker pulls should actually work as funny pranks that people would probably actually laugh at if they saw them in a looney tunes cartoon or if noone died.

i like to think of the joker as someone who is a little lost in his own sauce, as someone who on a certain level doesnt get that his pranks are truly that bad. like sure, he understands its "illegal" or whatever and that people generally dont like to be blown up or poisoned. but also, seriously, what's the big deal? its funny! its all a joke! i dont think someone should go to jail for genuenly funny crimes your honor. is it really that bad is everyone is laughing at the end? and if they are not laughing, well they just didnt get the joke.

as for his relationship with batman, i always loved how they are clearly such a distinct dichotomy. batman is dark and scary but he is good. joker is funny and colorful but he is evil. its the simple irony at the core of it.

and i think this is the main obsession with him, he wants to make the batman get it. Moore already decried the killing joke as flawed and not very good, and i see where he is coming from, but one aspect of it i really take home is the joker trying to make the batman understand. trying to make him get the joke. this is the tragedy at the center of the character, he wants to connect with batman. and if there is one thing that upsets him to no end is that the batman never fucking gets it, he just comes in as a party pooper with a stick up his ass, ruins the fun, doesnt crack a joke, is all grimm and morose and scowling like a bad parody of judge dread and then goes away after putting him in jail. he is personally offended by this, he gets genuenly aggravated, how is it possible? get over yourself dude. dont you see how ridiculous you look? you are dressed like a giant bat! and im a clown! come on, you have to admit this is at least a little silly, you HAVE to at least crack a smirk!

when the first trailer for the dark knight came out there was a beat the trailer kept going back to over and over. a line that now is a popular catchphrase on every t-shirt. when i heard that line, with heath ledger's particular delivery of it, out of context (which made it sound like it was adressed to the bat directly, perhaps during their last confrontation when they are at each other's throats) i thought they got it. i thought i was going to see the joker as i had envisioned him all those years ago. because truly nothing could capture better the feeling of a man trying desperatly to make another understand its all a joke, than the pleading, growling, almost desperate question: why so serious?

[deliciousspecimen]

I would like to request „where the hurt doesnt reach with kyoko, kaede and miu

A/N: Yes, of course! :} Slowly but surely getting through all of my requests.

Where the Hurt Doesn’t Reach pt.5

pt.4 - pt.6

pt.1

Kyoko, Kaede, and Miu x Male!Reader

Warnings: Themes of Trauma/Abuse, Mentions of Assault/Threats, Mental Health Topics, Sensitive Touch & Boundaries, Self-Harm, Social Anxiety/Avoidance, Mentions of Nightmares/Sleep Issues

Word Count: 2930

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kyoko: 

(Y/N) kept his head down in the dorm lounge, hands clenched around a cup of tea that had long since gone cold. The mug felt heavy- heavier than ceramic should- like the memories clawing at his chest had poured themselves inside.

The dorm was quiet. He had planned it that way. Early mornings were the safest. Fewer eyes, fewer voices. Fewer men.

He flinched as the door clicked open behind him.

Footsteps- measured, soft, deliberate- crossed the floor. No harsh breaths. No creaking floorboards from someone stomping in. Just silence.

“Good morning.”

He knew that voice. Soft and clear, like the first breeze after rain… Kyoko Kirigiri.

He didn’t answer. Just dipped his head lower.

But she didn’t mind. She never did.

“Do you want me to sit with you?” she asked.

(Y/N)’s grip on his cup tightened. His lips parted, but no sound came. He didn’t know how to say yes. Not without explaining the panic in his chest, or the constant crawl of anxiety under his skin. Not without revealing how he didn’t trust anyone- especially not the boys in this school, the ones with rough laughs and too-loud voices.

But Kyoko wasn’t like them.

She waited. Silent. Letting him answer in his own time.

“…yeah,” he breathed, almost inaudibly.

She didn’t ask any more questions. Just sat across from him, folded her gloved hands on the table, and looked at him- not with pity, but with understanding.

“You’ve been avoiding the others,” she said plainly, but gently. “The male students.”

His jaw tensed. Shame burned under his skin like acid.

“I’ve noticed,” she added, after a pause. “That’s all. I’m not judging you.”

“…I just… can’t,” he whispered. “I-They remind me of… Someone.”

Kyoko’s gaze didn’t waver. “Your stepfather?”

He froze.

“…How do you know that?” he murmured, eyes wide.

“I’m the Ultimate Detective,” she said softly. “But more than that… I noticed how your shoulders tense when anyone raises their voice. How you instinctively put space between yourself and any guy who walks near you. How you relax, just slightly, when you’re with me.”

(Y/N)’s breath hitched. Tears threatened behind his eyes, but he blinked them back, ashamed. He didn’t want to cry. Not in front of her.

But Kyoko reached across the table- slowly, so gently- and placed her gloved hand near his, not touching, just close. An offering. A silent I’m here. You’re safe.

“You don’t have to explain everything,” she murmured. “Not until you’re ready. And even then, only if you want to.”

The room was quiet again. But it wasn’t lonely. Not with her there.

“I feel… broken,” he confessed, his voice cracking.

“You’re not,” she said, firmly. “You’re hurt. But not broken.”

(Y/N) looked up- really looked at her- and for the first time in days, the crushing weight in his chest loosened, just a little.

Maybe, with Kyoko… healing didn’t have to be loud… Maybe it could start here.

In silence. In stillness.

 In the presence of someone who didn’t demand anything from him- except honesty, when he was ready.

Healing is quiet, but constant.

The halls of Hope’s Peak were always noisier in the afternoon, but (Y/N) found himself in the library. He liked the silence there. The weight of books around him felt grounding, the muffled sounds a safe sort of background noise.

He was flipping through a random mystery novel when a shadow passed the table- and without needing to look, he knew who it was.

Kyoko.

“Hi,” he murmured before she even spoke.

She stopped mid-step, slightly surprised… and then smiled faintly. “Hi.”

She took the seat across from him again, like it had become a silent ritual. There were no expectations between them. Just moments. Just space shared without pressure.

“You’re reading mystery novels now?” she asked, voice laced with a rare warmth.

(Y/N) gave a tiny shrug, fingers playing with the page corner. “Thought I’d try to understand what makes your brain tick.”

That earned him the smallest chuckle- soft and barely there, but real. His chest swelled with something fragile and new. He liked making her smile. Especially when she did it just for him.

“Do you want help solving it?” she asked, gesturing at the book.

He nodded, and they spent the next hour side by side- her pointing things out, him guessing and missing obvious clues, but laughing softly anyway. For a moment, the weight on his shoulders lifted, and it almost felt like he was just… a normal student. A normal boy. With a friend.

No- more than a friend. At least on his end.

He liked her. Liked the way she gave him space, but always showed up when he needed someone. Liked how she never asked about his scars but always looked like she wanted to fight whoever caused them.

Not all pain is visible. But she sees it anyway.

It happened in the courtyard. He hadn’t meant to go out, but he wanted air.

 Then a group of guys passed by- too loud, too close- and one of them bumped into him hard, muttering something under his breath that wasn’t even mean, but his chest clamped down instantly.

The panic came fast. Sharp. Ugly.

His breath caught. Vision blurred.

He stumbled back toward the wall, heart hammering in his ears, the sky spinning above him-

“(Y/N)!”

Her voice cut through the noise.

She was there in seconds.

Kyoko didn’t touch him. She didn’t crowd him. She just knelt beside where he’d sunk to the ground, her gloved hand resting lightly against the pavement, near his.

“Breathe with me,” she said. Calm. Grounding. “In… and out. Match me.”

She inhaled slowly. Exhaled even slower. Repeated. Over and over.

And (Y/N), shaking and pale, tried to match her. At first it didn’t work. His chest was too tight. His throat burned.

But she didn’t leave. Didn’t falter.

“In… and out.”

Eventually, the tightness loosened. The dizziness passed. His hands stopped shaking.

“…I’m sorry,” he whispered hoarsely, voice barely there.

“Don’t apologize,” she said gently. “You’re not weak for surviving.”

Those words hit harder than anything else. He blinked hard, biting down the emotion swelling in his throat.

She sat beside him then, her shoulder close. Not touching- just present. Solid.

“I hate how scared I am,” he murmured. “How small I feel when they’re around.”

Kyoko was quiet for a moment. Then she said, “You’ve never been small to me.”

He turned his head toward her, startled. She met his eyes- clear and unwavering.

“You're brave,” she said. “Not because you’re unafraid. But because you keep going, even when you are.”

And- that was the moment he fell just a little harder.

Kaede: 

(Y/N) didn’t speak much when he first arrived at Hope’s Peak. He flinched at sudden noises, kept his eyes on the floor, and sat in the back of every room, as far from the boys as he could manage. Rumors spread quickly in schools like this- but Kaede never paid them any mind.

She saw him- really saw him- when she stayed after class to pack her sheet music, and he lingered a little longer than usual. Just the two of them in the room. She glanced up to say goodbye, and (Y/N) visibly tensed.

Her voice softened. “Hey… sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

(Y/N) didn’t answer at first. But he didn’t bolt either.

That was enough for Kaede.

The next day, she played a melody in the music room after class, loud enough for the hallway to hear. Just in case he passed by again. She kept doing it for days. Weeks.

Until one afternoon, she looked up between notes… and there he was. Standing in the doorway, holding his arm with a nervous grip, eyes unfocused.

She smiled, gentle and bright. “You can come in, if you want.”

He stepped inside- slowly, like the floor might give out under him.

Kaede kept playing. Nothing fancy. Just something soft and warm, like sunrise through a window. When she finished, she turned to him.

“…You okay?”

“…I don’t really like being around people,” he mumbled, “especially… guys.”

Kaede nodded, never once looking away.

“I get it. You don’t have to explain. But I’m not a guy, and… I promise, I’ll never make you feel unsafe.”

(Y/N)’s lip trembled slightly. But he stayed.

That became their quiet ritual- no words needed. He’d sit nearby while she played, sometimes reading, sometimes just… existing. In a room where no one could hurt him. A place where her music filled the silence he carried like a second skin.

One rainy evening, she asked gently, “Can I show you something?”

She pulled a chair beside the piano and motioned for him to sit.

“You don’t have to play,” she smiled. “I just… want you to feel what it’s like to be near music like that. To feel safe inside something.”

He hesitated, then slowly sat beside her. Their shoulders didn’t quite touch.

She began to play, her fingers moving across the keys in slow, deliberate tenderness. The piece wasn’t just music- it was comfort. A lullaby for someone long overdue for kindness.

Halfway through, she felt it- (Y/N) leaned in, his head resting against her shoulder. Light, like a bird settling onto a branch for the first time.

Kaede didn’t stop playing.

And for the first time in a long, long while… (Y/N) closed his eyes and let himself breathe.

The next day, he was there before her.

Kaede blinked when she opened the door to the music room and found (Y/N) already seated near the piano bench, a sketchbook in his lap. He looked up, startled- like he hadn’t meant to be caught.

“I… I wanted to hear you play again,” he said quickly, almost apologetically. “If that’s okay.”

She smiled. “Of course it is.”

As she sat down at the piano, she peeked at the edge of his notebook. Scribbles- music notes, little stars, a clumsy sketch of what might’ve been her fingers on the keys.

She didn’t comment. Just started to play.

Over time, it became something sacred. She'd play for him every afternoon. And when her fingers rested, they’d talk. At first, he only answered in nods or short phrases- but the wall between them was crumbling, brick by fragile brick.

One day, he surprised her.

“Do you… remember the first song you played for me?” he asked, barely louder than the hum of the heater.

Kaede paused, then nodded. “Yeah. Clair de Lune.”

“It reminded me of…” He trailed off, swallowing hard. “Of my mom. She used to play music on a little radio in the kitchen. Classical stuff. Before she met him.”

Kaede’s fingers stilled on the keys, but she didn’t say anything. She let the silence hold the space, like the soft pedal of a piano, gentle and unpressing.

“She stopped playing music after he moved in,” he whispered. “After a while, everything got quiet. Like… too quiet. I didn’t think I’d ever like music again.”

Kaede blinked slowly, heart aching.

“But I like yours,” he added, with the faintest smile. “I like… being around you.”

That made her heart flutter. Not with giddiness, but with something deeper. Like trust taking root.

She turned to him, her voice quiet. “I like being around you too.”

From that day on, something shifted.

He started waiting for her outside the music room instead of sneaking in early. He’d walk with her down the hall, always keeping a careful distance from the louder male students, but close enough that his shoulder brushed hers now and then.

And sometimes- when the room was empty, and the song was soft, and the sun hit just right- he’d smile. Not just at the music, but at her.

Kaede would smile back, her heart swelling.

She knew healing wasn’t a straight line. There were days when he still flinched at loud voices. When group activities left him drained and hollow-eyed. But he always found his way back to her.

One afternoon, after a particularly long session, he stayed behind after she packed up.

“Kaede?” he said, voice trembling.

She turned, instantly focused on him.

“…Can I hug you?”

The question knocked the wind from her.

But she nodded, gently, like she was answering a question from a dream. She opened her arms without a word.

(Y/N) stepped forward hesitantly. Then slowly- like a scared animal testing the air- he melted into her.

It wasn’t tight or desperate. Just a quiet press of his face into her shoulder, arms loosely around her waist.

Kaede held him with the kind of care reserved for breakable things. Her hand rubbed soothing circles on his back. “You’re safe,” she whispered. “I’ve got you.”

Miu:

(Y/N) had flinched when Miu first barged into his dorm, voice carrying that usual volume and vulgarity like a storm in stilettos.

 “Yo, pencil-dick! You alive in here or what? You didn’t show up for breakfast and I ain’t got time to invent a search drone with tits just to find your sorry a-”

She stopped. Mid-rant. Her blue eyes scanned the dark room and landed on him, curled up in the corner with trembling shoulders, the edge of his sleeve wet where he’d been biting it to stay quiet. Not because he was hiding from her- but from the memories her voice had triggered.

“…Ah. Shit.”

It was the first time she didn’t call him a name.

Miu didn’t step closer. She dropped to sit cross-legged by the door, fiddling awkwardly with a spare screw in her hand, voice dipping just enough to feel like a whisper.

“Okay, so... maybe screaming like I’m in heat wasn’t the move,” she mumbled, chewing her bottom lip. “You wanna talk or should I just sit here and talk to myself like a damn lunatic? ‘Cause I can do both.”

(Y/N) didn’t answer. His voice was buried too deep behind the fear. But he didn’t tell her to leave.

She took that as permission.

Later that night, after hours of her rambling about new inventions- some genius, some dangerously stupid- he finally managed a small voice. Fragile.

“…Why’re you being nice to me?”

Miu blinked, caught off guard. Her usual grin didn’t come. Instead, she shrugged, arms resting loosely on her knees.

"'Cause I know what it’s like to hate being touched. To hear someone’s footsteps and feel your chest lock up. To build a thousand walls with your bare hands 'cause you don’t trust a single fucking person not to break you again.”

(Y/N) looked up at her, eyes wide. She wasn’t loud anymore. She was... real.

She smirked, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Plus, you’re the only guy who doesn’t try to touch me or tell me to shut up. That’s kinda hot.”

A breathless, broken laugh escaped him before he could stop it.

And that was the first night he fell asleep with her sitting beside him- quiet, steady, and real.

It wasn’t overnight. But it was something.

The next morning, Miu came back. Same knock, a little softer this time. She waited- didn’t barge in. When (Y/N) cracked the door open, she was standing there with a weird contraption in her hands.

“It’s a... uh... noise-canceling headset,” she said, trying and failing to sound casual. “If I yell too loud, it automatically dampens my voice before it reaches your ears. Like a built-in anti-Miu filter. Patent pending, dickweed.”

He blinked at her, then... laughed. A real laugh, quiet and airy, but genuine.

She flushed bright pink. “S-Shut up, it’s not because I like you or anything! I just got bored! You think I sit around all day worrying about your trauma baby brain or some shit?!”

(Y/N) smiled.

“Thank you.”

She looked like she short-circuited for a second. “…Whatever.”

Over the next few weeks, they started eating together- sometimes in the cafeteria, sometimes in his room. He talked more now, slowly. Haltingly. But it was there.

“I used to be afraid of falling asleep,” he admitted one evening, his fingers picking nervously at the hem of his sleeve as they sat cross-legged on his bed, a blanket pulled over both their legs. “If I stayed awake, I could hear him coming. I’d have time to hide.”

Miu didn’t answer right away. She just scooted closer, their knees brushing.

“If you ever need someone to sleep next to you,” she said softly, “I’m right here. I snore and occasionally yell ‘ORGASM!’ in my dreams, but like- other than that, I’m pretty fuckin’ cuddly.”

He laughed again, but this time, there were tears running down his cheeks.

One night, he reached for her hand.

She was rambling about a new sex robot idea (“It makes you breakfast and calls you daddy! Revolutionary!”), and he wasn’t really listening- just watching her, soft-eyed and warm.

His fingers brushed hers. Hesitant. Unsure.

She froze mid-sentence, cheeks blooming with color. “W-Woah. D-Don’t get all handsy on me, lover boy…”

But she didn’t pull away.

And when his grip tightened, just slightly, her own hand squeezed back. Gentle. Careful. A little shaky.

“…But if you wanna hold hands like some lame high school anime couple, I guess I can allow it.”

(Y/N) didn’t say anything. He just leaned his head on her shoulder.

And for once, Miu Iruma- Ultimate Inventor, self-proclaimed genius perv, filthy-mouthed storm of chaos- didn’t say a word either.

She just let him rest there.

[remi-harbinger]

Breaking news: Bingyuan is more toxic than u believe?? (not clickbait) (reaL)

ok so ive been thinking long and hard about their relationship and it doesnt make sense to me its so toxic and idk why theyd be the main pair of svsss that has so much potential for healthy loving ships (re: liuyuan)

Firstly: their relationship as a whole Binghe is notoriously sticky, and because we are sort of reading the novel through shen yuans eyes its an endearing trait. But if you think about it isnt it suffocating? It also shows an innate lack of trust in SY to do his own stuff and come back afterwards because of Binghe’s trust issues (ofc id have trust issues too if someone pushed me off a cliff but still). Binghe needs to work this out because the smothering is so toxic…

Next: love bombing and semi stockholm syndrome? this relationship is so funny to me because its like stockholm but weirder. SY literally lived in fear that LBH would murder him in the future and this causes him to cling to any affection LBH is giving because he’s taking it as reassurance to himself that he’ll live to see another day. Also im going to be honest the way SY treated LBH is sort of love bombing. He acts like a stern shizun at the start of the novel to not be OOC, then suddenly starts treating LBH as the sole star shining in the dark, then throws him off a cliff… It really gives a guy whiplash yk? Especially when you consider that aside from the washer woman, LBH has never been treated with love in his whole life up till this point. Hes been bullied so badly and even his own shizun hates him. He’s a literal child at this point in time, he’ll crave any love given and it is easy to see how this thirst for love could spiral into the more obsessive tendencies.

Now: Binghe and Bingmei I think that as Demons, you could sort of boil both OG!Binghe and Binghe (Bingmei)‘s treatment of SQQ into the base 7 deadly sins. Binghe would be Ira (Wrath/Hatred) and Bingmei would be Greed (Obsession). Their growing years as children under their respective shizuns has shaped their views and their feelings towards said shizuns have been carved deeply into their hearts. You can see how strong these emotions are in both Binghe’s elaborate and drawn out torture of OG!SQQ and Bingmei’s stickiness and overall yandere tendencies towards SY. Judging from the scale of LBH’s hatred towards OG!SQQ and drawing a parallel, current Bingmei’s obsession and greed for SY’s love is off the charts.

So what would happen if SY didnt reciprocate these feelings? If he did something that made Bingmei irrevocably angry? Emotions are wildly changing and never constant, and thus Bingmei’s affections is and will always be a damocles sword above SY’s head. SY may think he loves Bingmei, but he clearly doesn’t trust the constancy of the reciprocated feelings, and he definitely thinks about LBH getting blackened.

LBH and SY’s befuddling relationship dynamics: Now, they started off as master-disciple. This may seem not as important, but in Chinese there’s this saying “teacher for a day, father for a lifetime”. Do you understand what this means now that theyre in a relationship? Its a really weird power dynamic. Not to mention the whole “Demon lord/Person who swallowed said Demon Lord’s blood”. As I mentioned previously, because we are seeing SVSSS out of SY’s perspective, the importance of this is sort of glossed over with a “but its Binghe! Binghe’d never hurt me…”. LBH is able to control the blood to harm on scales unimaginable. He can kill, torture, cause you to be in excruciating pain, etc. LBH forcing his demon blood in SY is equivalent to LBH ripping out SY’s beating heart and holding it in his palm. He can literally crush the heart at any given moment and end SY’s life. Much motivation to convince yourself that you are in love with the one holding your life in his hands, right?

Wrapping this up because idt people will actually even read this: SY and LBH’s relationship may look like love up close, but its really toxic and they clearly lack the trust needed in a relationship. If there isn’t mutual respect and trust, can you even call their relationship love? I personally am of the opinion that it isnt love, especially considering the obsessive tendencies of LBH.

Ofc I have more to say and I hope you guys will discuss with me, but its late now so im keeping this quite short. If you’ve read the entire post marry me and pls still read SVSSS its a gem :)

[my-castles-crumbling]

Anon Advice Asks - April 7

First Binder Anon, galentines anon, caved anon (new), burden anon (new), grounded anon

First binder anon

hi!

it’s first binder anon!

ok so first of all, the charge on my debit card shows up as the company i bought it from, and how much i spent, not what i spent it on (ik it works differently depending on what your bank is but this is how mine works) my parents have never checked mine, to my knowledge. they like to have a very “you do your own thing and you have a right to privacy unless it endangers you or others” attitude.

also! i do my own laundry so that won’t be an issue (pros of doing more chores amiright) and if they saw it they’d prob just assume it was a bra that they’ve already bought for me.

uhhh yeah! ty for your advice and stuff!

Oh awesome!! I'm so glad your parents seem chill! Did they end up asking about the package? I hope you like the binder, I was so thrilled when I got my first one, it's a very exciting experience <3

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galentines anon

Hii its galentines anon

It's my birthday today (yayy closer to college)

so my dad is in one of his moods, cant i ask for one day pls

my mom isnt well but she isnt listening to me to rest

my brother is the only one im not mad at or worried about but even he doesnt let me talk normally has to interrupt 10 times in between (its okay tho he is 7 i can let this much go)

my friends idk they dont seem to give a fuck, i go all out at their birthdays, posting stories at midnight, writing long paras and everything. they couldnt even post anything properly.

the couple of gifts i got were some of the most unthoughtful gifts. like they went to the store and got the nearest thing they saw. you've known me for so long can't you think of one thing ive shown an interest in ?

ik this makes me sound like a pompous and ungrateful prat but this really hurt idek why.

anyways thankyou for listening.

Happy birthday hon <3

I don't think this makes you sound ungrateful at all! It's hard to have moments where you feel unappreciated, or where you feel like you've put more into a relationship than someone else. I wish I could say something to make you feel better, but remember your feelings are valid and I am sending you love <3

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caved anon

i had to buy myself a mobility aid today and its genuinely the most disheartening thing ive ever done. im 20. im barely into my life but im struggling to walk more than 5 minutes at a time some days. i was going to wait until after i could get a doctors appointment but im struggling to get that too so ive caved and i hate it so much. i feel like it makes it worse mentally for me that i was the glass child growing up bc my brother had issues in school and my sister is also disabled (though hers showed more prevalently and since shes older i was 'late to the party') (also not the same disability, just to note) so i feel like i just wont even be believed by my family next time i visit (i dont live at home). plus im scared of how people will look at me in the street. a 20 year old shouldnt need a walking stick and i hate that i do sometimes

Hi hon <3

I can't pretend to know how you're feeling at all, so I'm not going to sit here and give you advice. But I want you to know I'm proud of you for taking care of yourself by getting the mobility aid even though it's upsetting.

Please remember that no matter how people react (your family, people on the street, etc), it doesn't diminish your needs and your reality. Nobody is in your shoes or feels your pain, so they have no right to judge you or look at you differently. sometimes 20 year olds DO need walking sticks and that's okay.

I'm sending you so much love <3

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burden anon

Hi! I could really use some advice!

(redacted)

Anyway, I don't want to burden you, but I just don't know who to turn to.

Hi <3

If you are scared, it's already time to tell someone. I know you're nervous to take a safe person from her, but, to be blunt, if she's gone, she won't have safe people either, and you don't need to keep that guilt forever. You're not burdening me with this, but this IS a burden on you, and an adult needs to know. It's okay to ask for help.

Sending love <3

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grounded anon

Hello again.

Tysm for the previous advice, I don't think k I will pull a Sirius black anymore.

So, things have cooled down significantly since then. Me and my mom have made a deal that if I don't tell anyone I'm gay anymore, shell stop looking through my shit and we'll stop arguing.

The thing is, she doesn't understand that I have found a safe queer community within my school,people who are very accepting and queer themselves. I can't tell her this, however, because I'm not about to out my friends. She also, I'm pretty sure, there away my sketchbook (which I was PROUD OF) because of all the 'evil' in it. (Okay so maybe I had a page full of docs but that was ONLY as a joke istg) and also lots of boys kissing and pride flags. She still has not given me my shit back, and I'm afraid to ask because k don't want to start another argument.

Again, sry if the spelling is shitty (the autocorrect on this thin SUCKS)

-grounded anon

Wow, that's a shit deal, and it pisses me off. The fact that a parent is asking their child to do that is horrible.

Yeah, I don't think there's anything wrong with you having your safe place with your friends, as long as you're careful to keep their identities quiet, especially from your parents. It seems like the goal for you will be to not piss your parents off for the next few years, until you can move out, you know? Which sucks a lot, but I'm glad you're at least safe and you have an accepting group of friends.

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this, you deserve love and acceptance, and I'm sorry about your sketchbook as well. Keep building your accepting community and remember that things will get better <3