#get that iron dick gurl!!!

[moodymisty]

I've written a very messily written blurb (is this how is it called?) and thought to talk about the plot in the form of those 4chan anon post

> Be me

> Be Ferrus Manus, the Gorgon; tallest and strongest amongst your brothers

> Be a total badass and kill a creature

> When its Necrodermis skin marked you, think it would be funny to bust a nut

> iron dick now

> Meet an Medusan noblewoman

> She's a 47-year-old widow? ZAMM!!

> Begin to secretly court her

> She jumps onto the cock on the first date

> She's excited that it's iron????

> Experience the best sex ever (virginity was taken)

> Try to build a healthy sex life while she wants to have sex everyday and then honck my tits and hump my biceps and belly and then make biscuits with my sons

> Sons love her, dick aches for her

> Marry her yaaayyy

> She brings two kids with her yaaayy

> Have sex dialy and be very in love with eachother :33

We need more dumb 40k 4chan formatted memes on Tumblr this was hilarious xD

[talkfantasytome]

Finally Reading 'The Cruel Prince'!

Yes, you heard that right! 😄 I'm about 12-13 chapters in and I'm invested!

Now, I present to you my real-time thoughts/commentary, as sent to some friends in slack as my form of "live-tweeting". I am tagging with "the cruel prince spoilers", for those that don't want to see these.

I will also note that I am reading this with the knowledge that Jurdan is a thing on some level...whether I just follow people that like that ship and it's not canon, or it is canon, I have yet to find out and have now appropriately blocked those tags (and some other books, but I need to work on that cause I keep getting these types of spoilers 😫).

On chapter 4. I like Locke.

Tournament happened, loved her little speech, I hope Cardan understands the irony. But, considering they're, like, allergic to iron or whatever, I'm guessing not. (Sorry, not sorry, I think I'm hilarious.)

Locke is a secret sweetie, and it's so cute! But I can't figure him out. He's reading Cardan well, and still giving Jude smiles that thrill her...I really don't want some weird love triangle. But I'm hopeful cause I was told to not approach this book as a romance.

Also, mortal land chapter...dayum gurl. I can't remember if this is the one that has a sort of corruption arc, but it feels plausible and I'm here for it.

And Cardan sucks, but their conversations keep just sounding like heavy dom talk and I blame my friend on tumblr and her stupid, glorious toxic Nessian AU (we all know who, but I won't tag her cause she hasn't read this yet)

Omg, the prince wanting her to lie. Do it again! 😂😂

Also, PHEW! I honestly thought Dain or whatever was about to ask Jude to be his wife...but just his spy!

I hope she accepts

Yesssss!

Oh fuck

He can control her

I'm happy and worried...like, madoc's not there, there's a reason, and idk that it's good

WAIT! Is HE gonna turn out to be the cruel prince??? 👀

Awww...Locke wants to see her again. 🥰 But Cardan was furious and then stabbed her finger to help her become disenchanted or whatever...👀

Clearly Jude doesn't understand she's in a book when she enters Cardan's room. From the moment she mentioned annotated papers and piles of books I was like "I betttt"

Then Alice in Wonderland - so obvious, but she had to see the clothes 👀

Struggling a bit with the way some things are written. Like, it's right, but certain things given early on imply something other than the way the world is actually built and, like, it just seems like it could've been an easy thing to avoid. But it's pretty minor.

Response to a friend who said Cardan has mostly been "kind of being a dick" up to this point: Always being a dick 😂

They're all scheming! What's up with Balekin?? I thought he was also a drunk?? But instead he is trying to teach Cardan by abusing him? And why must these dark characters always have some deep horrors. Is it too much to ask for a dick to just be a dick and have her fall for him anyway?

I'm sure I'll update more later when I have time to read again.

[solastia]

Day 5

Feel So Right, Yoongi x Reader, 3/? Chapters, 5.8 K words so far, mention of Domestic Abuse

Ok, so I was trying to hold off on writing about this one, but like...I have no self control, hehehehe. It kept calling my name and I said fuck it, I’mma read it again right freaking now. 

If anyone, ANYONE, comes at me for liking this fic because it’s a cliche Knight in Shining Armor fic, I will punch you in the throat! Let me live in my beautiful, rose tinted delusion. Thanks!!! And if I ever feel the need to be rescued by a man, please believe I’mma let it be Yoongi. 

Ok, let’s start with some extremely endearing details I just freaking love in this fic. Yoongi ruffling his hair early in the morning, wearing Iron Man jammies, the MC’s Bulbasaur slippers, and ofc the fact that the chubby pug in the story it PoTAEto. I know it’s not written that way in the story, but that’s how my mind read it. :D

UUGH HOW CUTE CAN THEY BE?!?!

Ok, let’s get into this beauty!

Warning to anyone reading this, there are mentions of domestic abuse, please skip this if it bothers you.

“She was sporting a few bruises that she must have gotten during the move, making him wonder why she didn’t have help.” 

I’m ready to throw down. This ONE statement coupled with an earlier one about screaming...GURL I am ready to throw down for our MC. We don’t even really know her yet and I’m ready to throw hands for her. We know where this is going! You are able to very quickly have the audience rooting for our MC. Amazing!

Ok, our MC’s “man”. Talk about wanting to punch people in the throat. You could feel her light diminish the instant he walked in. And Yoongi was ready to throw down too! Bless his heart. AHHHH and now for chapter 2…

Our mans Yoongi over there being able to gauge our MC’s mood by what she’s playing on her guitar :D 

Someone is smitten!!!

And I have to ask, that one comment about our MC liking the Chainsmokers and Yoongi  being “highly offended”. This was before our boys collabed with them, right? Any comments about this line? Lol

The banter between our MC and Yoongi is so freaking sweet. His comments still have a little bit of bite to them, because it’s Yoongi of course. But you can see that it’s all playful, and she reciprocates. It’s so freaking sweet and cute AHHHHH!

“Yoongi snorts and brings two heaping bowls of stew to the table, purposely ignoring the giant wedding photo above it. He’d already inspected it a few too many times; his wayward imagination often envisioning himself next to the beaming beauty draped in ivory lace.”

YOONGI...my man...maybe you’re waay past smitten. Dayum our boy has fallen hard in just a few months!

“He smiles softly as she enthusiastically eats the food he made, every now and then releasing a pleased moan that made his pants feel a little tight.”

:]

I’mma just leave that right there. Enough said, really.

“She quirks her eyebrow and waves to signal ‘go on you slow asshole.’”

OUR GIRL HAS BITE TOO! YESSS! I love female characters who are complex like this. She has a personality! She’s funny, sweet, smart, and cute! You flesh her out with just a few descriptions and lines. Something you do very well! Do you plan all this out in advance, or do you just wing it?? I’m curious!

“As they enjoy their dessert together, Y/N spends the time asking about the song and trying to get a feel for the emotions behind it so she would know how to play. Yoongi did his best, describing the sense of melancholy and wonderment behind the words without giving himself away. Words of adoration and every other emo emotion that Yoongi felt poured onto paper. 

Words about her.”

Just like...kill me now. I cry. I CRY.

Wow, our boy is a goner, waxing poetically about her skill, her smile, her scent. Your descriptions are gorgeous. Madam...are you the reason I now have a double bias??? (Please don’t tell Jimin, it would crush him lol) 

“It was against his very nature not to speak up over some injustice he saw.” Why you gotta make him so damn perfect!?!?!

“Your nose has gone all scrunchy. You’re either hungry or you need a nap. Maybe both,” she giggled as she exited the booth and sat at his desk.”

AAAAHHH SHE ALREADY KNOWS HIM SO WELL. Gurl, throw that pile of garbage to the curb, you got a whole Yoongi pinning over you!

“I’ve never even been allowed to work before” This hit me hard! She has become completely dependent on that asshole husband, and he did that shit on purpose. Do you understand the implications of all of this ( I mean, I know you do, but do the readers realize it?!?). IF Yoongi makes his move and she reciprocates his feelings, she’s going to be apprehensive about becoming dependent on another man. Poor Yoongi, he’s already in deep and IF she leaves him, she’s going to need time to heal. But I hope she gets a taste of Yoongi dick before that happens. I’M JUST SAYING SHE DESERVES SOME GOOD LOVIN BEFORE TAKING TIME FOR HERSELF.

“You make me want so many things I shouldn’t, Yoongi.”

YES GURL, GET ITTTT!!!!

“Fuck, you have no idea how much I want you. I know I shouldn’t, and I try to fight it. I would treat you so well, baby. So gentle. Give you the whole world and the only marks would be from my lips.”

Yoongi….I’m right here. I am literally ready for the taking, come get your girl!

“The first time I make love to you, it’s going to be while we’re both sober and in my bed where I can take my time”

I literally cannot be more in love with this man. 

“I’ll be here if you want me to be”

Do y’all see what he’s doing?? He’s telling her that he’d be there for her, but it would be under her terms. He is giving her the power! He’s saying that he’ll back away if she wants him to. HE SAID FUCK YOUR TOXIC MASCULINITY. This is how you win a girl over!

Ok, I am emotionally exhausted, but I love it!!!

I don’t even know what to think about what’s to come for this fic because I feel it’s going to HURT! Can I ask for a happy ending please? They don’t have to end up together, but I need them to be happy in the end!

Until next time!

💜💜💜 Puppee Anon 

*Potato the pug is a real boy. My pug’s name is Potato, and yes, I usually call him Tae.

*I did write this before the Chainsmoker’s collab. This has happened a few times where I write about something and then something related happens with BTS and I’m starting to get concerned lmao. But I did fully enjoy how obvious it was that Yoongi didn’t like dealing with them at all.

*It IS going to have a happy ending. I think this story only has one full chapter left and an epilogue. I’ll get to it soon 😘

[cloudystevie]

I read the concept for your Stevie hcs and was super into it... I scrolled down to the picture and he is looking fine... but I had to pause from trying to read it because I'm laughing at Tony in the background of the picture. Iron Daddy is judging me for wanting to get railed by Stevie

LMFAOOOO THANK U FOR POINTING THAT OUT CUZ I MISSED IT WHEN I ADDED IT BUT NOW I CANT STOP LAUGHINGGGGG you know what tony? mind ya business a gurl is trying to get dicked down by steve🙄🖐

[adecila]

Game of Thrones – 8x04 “The Last of the Starks” episode analysis – or who the fuck ever let D&D write stuff

You know I am pretty much like this dude here –

so I will be the woman to lead this ship or so help me all the old gods and the new.

Spoilers, d’uhh.

Aftermath - but everyone has their wardrobe on fleek, hair looking fab and they even had time to clean the entire field of Winterfell

The episode starts with the funeral pyre and how DARE you make me love Jorah even more and twist the knife in my heart. And did you have to show me Theon, Beric, Edd’s and Lyanna’s bodies??? 

RUDE.

Jon is doing a big speech and it is nice and drove the sobbing further, but I get it this is Jon’s turf so he has to be the one making the big speech. That is such a Dany thing though, and I can’t help to think, when put into perspective with the rest of the episode, that it’s yet again a thing Dany has lost. But more on that later. 

The pyres are lit, sad music, more sobbing from me. OOOPS BUT DID YOU CATCH THAT JONERYS EXCHANGE OF LOOKS? Because I did! I can’t help but think how he looks at her for reassurance and she feels it and she turns and she is just.so.broken. And then she cries and I cry again. 

A feast for crows the survivors 

And then we get a feast and suddenly everyone is happy and stuff… ok, I guess life goes on. Maybe Sandor’s crass remark, under the guise of a funny moment, was meant to make us think on it. But maybe that’s too deep for D&D who the fuck knows. 

Let’s talk about Gendry’s legitimisation. 

Dany does it quite publicly, and small exchange between her and Tyrion makes sense. Honestly, if she hadn’t done it herself then and there, it would have come up at a later point, but with 2 episodes left there’s no time. S.ansa does her shady looks because she throws shade and Bran just stares into the void smh. 

In which I am the Hound unimpressed and eating his chicken. 

Davos x Tyrion

The Lord of Light fucked off into the sunset when he saw D&D’s piss poor writing and honestly same. He probably fucked off when he saw Melisandre was still getting his prophecies wrong. 

Every time S.ansa comes into frame my soul leaves my body a bit more because whY THO. 

Tyrion x Bran the 3ER

Cool beans Bran, that’s how you use you abilities? OMG JOJEN FUCKING DIED FOR YOU–

“I mostly live in the past now” - to me this means Bran has become this empty shell of a man and he just visits the past and checks out cool shit. It’s like a kid who gets access to YouTube for the first time. Heck he can even see his dad or whoever else he misses if he feels anything at all now. Because if he doesn’t even have “wants” then? What was the point of it all? God I swear the writers will not rest until they will have reduced all characters to tropes and empty shells of their former selves.

Tormund and the gang around Jon; Tyrion with Jaime ; Dany alone

This scene right here was the beginning of the end. Remember when Tormund was a dude who was in awe by strong women? D&D don’t. He suddenly is so far up Jon’s ass nothing could take him out. Guess it pays off for him in the end since Jon just gifts him Ghost.

S.ansa just fucking stop OMG PLEASE STOP WITH THE FUCKING LOOKS JFC.

But where was Missandei??? Why was Dany alone? And what the fuck was that look, VArYs?? Someone give Dany a hug because my god the isolation is real. Fuck. STOP. TAKING. EVERYTHING. FROM HER.

Never have I ever… thought the writers would stoop so low but here we are

So it’s all fun and games until it isn’t. 

Poor Tormund. Jaime never deserved Brienne and that’s a fact. 

And the mystery of Willa, the sassy Northern girl has been solved! Bless!!!

SanSan, but with more misogynistic undertones than you ever thought

Yeah you know what, I am not touching this scene. Fuck D&D for daring to say that.

Gendrya - or the moment Gendry decided to pull a Ted Mosby 

I feel so bad OMG they did this ship so dirty. However. Arya saying that was expected. But I call bullshit on her never rethinking her decision. Girl’s got a list and she just can’t NOT try to finish it, I mean, wouldn’t you? After you killed such a big boss as the NK? 

At the same time, they would be trying for faux feminism, pulling a Arya doesn’t need a man to be happy. Guess the sex was just to try it? Wow can you believe they cheapened this ship and that beautiful moment like that? 

I’m so sorry babies, you deserved much better. Guess Gendry was always meant to have his heart broken by a Stark girl once he became a Baratheon. Wow. 

Weirdly enough!!! And spoiler maybe?? Leak? Idk. But I feel like Gendrya will prevail (also because she looks heartbroken to reject him like that…). When asked if Gendrya will rule the 7K, Friki said no, these two aren’t made for ruling anything. For what’s worth, Friki mentioned he does know Arya’s endgame and shebis confirmed alive in the Dragon Pit in 8x06 :)

Oathsex

Uff yeah I did not like that. It felt wrong in the context and it felt cheap and I…. yeah IDK. And then Jaime leaves. He could have at least told Brienne that he is he only one who can kill Cersei or IDK, but not leave her like that. Jeesh dude my poor Knight, she is gutted by him. 

Jonerys makeout and chat and hey who wanted angst? Turn on your location I just wanna chat. 

Sooo flip side: I somehow, for the second time, predicted a thing in my fic. HOWEVER D&D keep only getting half my fics because GURL DID YOU NOT GET THE SMUT MEMO? AND THE FLUFF MEMO?

So Dany goes to find Jon, again, who is tipsy, and Jon suddenly remembers to give Dany some comfort for having lost Jorah… 

The set up for Dany saying ILY it’s a bit .. ehh. But her actual words: “He loved me, but I couldn’t love him back, not the way he wanted it. Not the way I love you. Is that alright?” 

A+ scene. I love how he can’t help himself and as soon as she is in his arms’ range he just pulls her into him, BEFORE she asks “Is that alright?”. 

Uff emo side note here, this scene and this phrase reminded me of this song. Listen and sob. you’re welcome.

On that depressive note, wow that make out tho. Two things I learned from this scene: 1 - Jon is horny drunk, which same; and 2 - Jon is a tiddies guy like he dove in and went for the tiddies, which also same. Am I Jon? Is this why I keep guessing his fucking reactions but D&D won’t give me the rest????? We’ll never know.

And… then Jon stops and pulls back. And I KNOW that in the BTS we are told he is disgusted or whatever along those lines, but to me?? That look means he is CONFLICTED. And listen, if y’all wanted it to make it to mean "disgusted" then you should have made Kit do it differently since YOU KNOW HE WAS FAKE GAGGING TO EMILIA EVERY OTHER MINUTE. YOU CAN’T KEEP ADDING SHIT LATER YOU FUCKING DUMBASSES YOU EITHER PUT IT IN THE ACTUAL  SHOW AND THE ACTUAL ACTING OR STFU.

But I guess to me that rejection was more for the general audience than for us. C’mon he clearly loves her, his dick was so hard he was about to nut then and there. Stop bringing your 21st century considerations into a feudalistic fantasy where you have Royals and dragons. Also FUCK YOU VARYS BECAUSE EVEN IN THE NORTH AUNT AND NEPHEW MARRIED SO FUCK YOU BALDIE.

I digress. Then Dany echoes what Jon himself thinks/said - wishing she would have never known. And then we get something that I felt when she was alone and sad at the feast. “I saw the way they looked at you. I know that look; the same way people looked at me, but never on this side of the sea” - yeah so I need a break.

This here - cemented for me what I think the show is doing: stripping everything away from Dany: her armies, her children, her people and the love her people have for her… then Jon. And I don’t mean that as in the sense of some bullshit fleak. No, I mean it in the context of this episode. Because Jon never says I love you back (and maybe @normalisjustafairytale is right and Jon is afraid to say it after Ygritte), and he rejects her, and he says he can’t NOT tell his sisters, even if Dany begs him not to. So in a sense, for now at least, Jon is being taken away from her. So you have all this isolation and losing and losing and then what does she have left? The only constant in her life? The fucking Iron Throne. Because at the moment there is nothing else for her and she probably feels like she will be nothing without it. Hence why she presses to go and take Cersei down. I won’t lie to you, it is cheap writing and very lame and honestly I have read fics a million times better than this bullshit, but they will, at one point, hit us with the boatie reveal, and when that happens, and when Jon fucking finally pulls through and stands by her side, she will have something else, a different constant in life. Moreover, because she realises that the people here in Westeros will never love her, she will have even more of a reason to bow out, say a big fuck you, take her boatie and her hubs and get to her house with the red door. 

This is not just wishful thinking, it is very much D&D, and they will of course “humble the powerful woman” (I puked in my mouth by writing that). But also, my consolation is that with this episode, heck even the people who weren’t necessarily her fans, are on her side and asking her to burn KL down. Which I don’t think she would, but more on that in a different post. God this post is already long.

*bathroom break*

BAck. Then Dany echoes what I also said in my fic ugh I hate myself what we all know and are thinking: it doesn’t matter if Jon doesn’t want it; it matter that there are people out there (fucking S.ansa jfc this fucking UGGHDGugduzdahidfg) who don’t like Dany and will support Jon immediately over her. She is right and he is stupid for not seeing it. 

I guess I also got my bending the knee from my fic. Kinda. FUCK.ME.

I cannot believe that my Queen had to BEG him and Jon had to be so naive. BOY DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE LESSON FROM YOUR FATHER? Two can keep a secret is one of them is dead, Jonno. Did you not watch Pretty Little Liars??? Why the fuck do you think Ned Stark didn’t tell his wife?? LMAO she would have sold him just like S.asnsa blabbed on you, guess the J___sas were right, it was a bit of a Ned x Cat parallel, probably Cat would have sold Ned also in a fucking instant. Dany is absolutely right. This shit cannot be contained because you don’t know how people would react to it. 

“She’s not the girl you grew up with” … BOOM.

I love how he cradles her face into his hands MY FUCKING HEART MY HEART.

Pause. The part where she begs remind me of this traumatic moment:

… fuuuuck. Anyway.

And I love how she turns the tables on him. But Jon… is still Jon for plot reasons I guess. Maybe he didn’t understand why Ned had to keep the secret for so many years. 

The end of the Northern plot - BYE NO ONE WILL MISS YOU

The Starks can choke. They are cancelled. 

Yeah no. Bye. Fuck S.ansa or Sandra, who the fuck this OOC shitty ass character is. Fuck every single one of them. Wow, emotional manipulation at its finest. I just love how they basically called this episode the last of the Starks because they just character assassinated all of them. Edit: LMAO you know what this is? The shitty family that pulls over one member and tries to break him up with his wife, for the sole reason they don't like her. Because fuck their brother's happiness. Because they are fucking selfish people.  

Jaime x Tyrion x my headache

Let’s add to the list of cancelled people Jaime and Tyrion just for that fucking chat.

“I will pay you double” ex machina, and that’s how the Bronn issue is solved. Just as Friki said, btw. 

Arya x The Hound

So I guess Arya just fucking lies through her teeth now smh, since she was guilt trippig JON JUST MOMENTS AGO and she just up and leaves BECAUSE FUCK FAMILY I GUESS 

Tyrion is suddenly afraid of Dany so I guess we are supposed to excuse Sandra’s petty shady jealous ass 

Sandra is fucking jealous and insane. Littlefinger will be proud. Her face though. This fucking bitch doesn’t like that he is a Targaryen LMFAO she is scheming so hard bahahahahah

She is fucking cancelled. They murdered her character the moment they took her out of the Vale. FIGHT ME ON THIS I FUCKING DARE YOU.

Jon x Tormund x Ghost - say your goodbyes

Hey hey hey so that line where Jon belongs in the North? The real North, which for Tormund is North of the Wall since he calls Winterfell the South? Guess where those waterfalls from 8x01 are?

Jon is the worst dog owner KILL ME.

Fucking Sam Tarly

Jon was like yeah no don’t name your kid after me. Interesting how he could tell from a hug that Gilly was pregnant. Hope Dany starts showing soon *wink wink boatie is still coming*

The IT or Southern plot

Tyrion x Varys

I cannot wait for Varys to die. Like, he is spewing inaccurate information and then, he is suddenly against Dany and suddenly only Jon is a war hero. Just because he has a dick. Fuck D&D and their sexist asses Also VArys keeps talking about the realm LMAO YOU KNOW WHAT I SEE? I see kings dying all around you, and the only constant it’s you. Who is the problem, I wonder? 

Euron ex machina

Makes no fucking sense. But I guess nobody cares anymore.

Yeah I screamed when Rhaegal died. And I screamed again with Dany.

I guess Dany couldn’t just fly behind Euron’s ship and roast them all for plot reasons. 

Dragonstone mess

Fuck you, Varys. And fuck you, Tyrion. Not you, Greyworm, ILY *hugs tightly*

BONUS: FUCK YOU JAIME FUUUUUCK YOU FOR LEAVING BRIENNE LIKE THAT. BYE BITCH GOOD RIDDANCE.

King’s Landing mess & the shitty ass parley that even Captain Sparrow could have organised better

Ew how much time has it passed since Cersei is already claiming to be preggers? 

“So much for the breaker of chains” - is again, a sign they are trying to strip Dany of everything she has and is. 

Tyrion and Qyburn - ew, but also Qyburn has a point, why would Cersei surrender? Oh and I think the point to save Rhaegal from the NK only for him to die at the hands of Euron is to further handicap Dany and make the Cersei threat real, and have a reason to keep Drogon away from KL - HAVE YOU ALL SEEN THE SCORPIONS EVERYWHERE?

Ugh Tyrion stop trying to get Cersei to love you LMFAO she doesn’t. But I know, it is hard to break from toxic relationships and abusers. Tyrion told Cersei “you are not a monster�� and she literally went “HOLD MY BEER”.

Missandei’s death made me sick to my stomach and traumatised me for life. We should all collectively agree to NEVER give D&D our attention again and never let them write anything again. 

Missandei hatefully spewing DRACARYS as her last words was so strong it made me start crying because holy shit this was a peaceful person, and for her to show this much hate and rage was so gutting…  fuck me. I am crying again. I think she also meant, besides from the obvious, “there is no reasoning with these people, so why bother. Might as well blow it the fuck up.”

And Grey’s reaction wow - again, I was about to puke, despite the scene not being the most gorey on GoT, but it was so intrinsically and viscerally wrong my mind could not deal. 

In conclusion

Poor Dany, she has lost everything. EVERYTHING. She is literally at her lowest. After the discussion with Jon, she slipped back the Queen mask - like you can pinpoint the moment she does so! And she keeps it on in front of everyone else but her dragons.

I am expecting a very very cold (but very fragile inside) Dany in 8x05. I am expecting her to push Jon away. Oh and at the ending of 8x04 she totally just gets up on Drogon and goes back to Dragonstone. No way she does anything yet so soon.

I haven’t watched any of the BTS and Making of videos, nor have I watched the 8x05 promo. Will do soon.

Stay strong, jonerys is still going strong. I am here until the very end and I still think this will end with jonerys together. Will it be good writing? Nope. But it will end well. As I keep saying. We’re missing the “sweet” in this fucking “bittersweet” shit show. Stop saying it ends badly because of 8x03.

If you need me, you know where to find me. Image of me in the fandom. Except I charge nothing.

Oh and PS: FUCK D&D.

[kehideni]

Here we gooooooooo~

welp,... not gonna miss that guy

ok, so ah.... what’s the point of phase 2?

“they might not be our friends anymore” “i won’t hurt Gar” wellllllll you won’t hurt him but you hardly wanted to help him so far so... good for him i guess atleast you don’t view him as an enemy

WOOP NONSENSE ALERT! The gun that blew up your car with the first shot now can’t pierce the very same object

hmmmmm Kory’s like “I’ll deal with him” *gets her arm scratches* “welp... nope”

Dick apparently has super hearing now~ and so do the gurls

atleast the fight looks good.... when they are not obviously cutting scenes together so the viewer wouldn’t see that there was no actual acrobatics involved

yeah that’s... nope, you just fried your own brain

he’s got super healing, why would a stab wound kill him?

ooooohhh so THAT’S phase 2

poor Gar, not only is the game rigged againts him, he doesn’t stand a chance againts Superboy when the game is not rigged

Tigerboy knows how to land on his feet

that animation looked so good until he bit Superboy....

no way that didn’t kill him

Donna’s face ever looking like she just stepped in dog poo

why did brainwashed tigerboy answer to his name?

“are you ok?” binch he just slammed into an iron pipe with the speed of Mach 1, you tell me

“i know they did something to you” ... how’d you guess? “but we need you Gar” sure as hell didn’t seem like it for a whole damn season

yesssss scratch that snotty kid up

honest to god the tiger’s face looks hella good, but when they need to move him the faults come out

“ok Gar, that was not cool!” xD that cracked me up

“i think he has no idea who we are” hmmmmmmmm i wonder why that is HMMMMMMM JUST A GUESS BUT MAYBE BECAUSE YOU ALL HIGHTAILED OUTTA THE TOWER BEFORE HE WOKE UP??? HMMMMMMMM?????? WHEN DID YOU THINK HE’D LEARN OF YOU?

Logically you send Donna, not like Kory could actually speak in his language, you know... like a few episodes back?

huhh... sure just stand there and watch them brawl it out... don’t try to voice your worry or... dunno... try and help

so now you remember you speak kryptonian... also this is a great time to join the fight 1 person at a time... cuz you know... LOGIC

hey Hawk, so great of you to teleport here for no previously established reason

HAHH Dove only held up a broken glass and was more useful than you lot

OOOOHHH GREAT TIMING FOR B PLOT ARGUMENT

nice of you Batman to do something

oh come OOOOOONNN, smiley face???? from Batman???????? someone go and double check the comics if he ever used smileys

Dick, this is not the time to heroicly stand your back to the brainwashed nakama-enemy

good thing we all DON’T know that kryptonite is his weakness

pppsssssssstt.... kinda obvious that the focus point for Ratchel was on the concrete, try having a plush tiger head in the place of the will-be-cgi-tiger-head and maybe MAYBE they will look like they are looking at each other

you couldn’t have said “when you called out for me” or... “when you held my hand” you HAD to say “when you touched me”... writers... i thought you knew that the internet pays attention to goofy lines like these....

thank GOD you didn’t make her say “so i’m gonna touch you” just like that... i can already hear my alternate-reality-self laughing.

thank you for clarifying that you meant his hand, but maybe you could be more specific and say frontal limb

“imma touch your frontal limb cuz i kno you be me nakama” paraphrasing but this be the jist

all these smiling faces.... i don’t remember them, gj writers~ i have no idea why these smiling faces would be relevant to Gar when they spent together- like - maybe a week

When will we get Gar an outfit that won’t tear up when he transforms? Poor kid gonna catch a cold like that

HAHAHAHAHAH that policecar-prop was obviously on a rail x’D

oh noooo... the rope got his shoulders restricted... it’d be a shame if he decided to just... move his arms up and remove it from himself

WHEN did you guys have the time to tell Ratchel that you want her to voodoo Connor to submission?

Poor Connor... he went through the same cruelty Gar did

“concentrate your fire power at subject 13″ hmm one would have thought they would wanna hightail it out of there or like... be precautious and get a kryptonite bullet ready

Anna... you know i love you as Kory but you gotta practice the airpunch... you don’t punch with a straight arm like that

yeah right... they clap for the murderers who just stopped murdering them hmmm, it’s good that everyone in this city has 4th wall-vision

tf did that thing fall over for NOW?

sheeple... always running lenght-wise not sideways when shit start falling down

this. was. HELLA. stupid

x’’’D THIS WAS SUCH A HELLA STUPID DEATH I ACTUALLY LAUGHED OUT LOUD

EVERY REACTION AFTER A STUPID DEATH LIKE THIS BECOMES COMICAL!!! THAT’S NOT HOW YOU DRAMA!!!! OH MY GAWD XDDDDD

I’M DYING FROM LAUGHTEEEER

she’s sleepin’ :’D atLEAST put some burn marks on her or something if you wanna kill her in such a BS way

She’s so pale for all i know she could have died from hypothermia xD

Nightwing, are your clothes made out of plastic that you managed to get her down from the electric post or was this some supervillain electricity that choose to kill Donna but not you

siiiiighhhhh such a stupid scene...

(i haven’t told many people this before but i had to move a dead body once, and eventhough she was a person i could easily lift,i couldn’t manage to get her dead body out of a CHAIR to the BED that was right next to it

you know why? Because they don’t hold their weight for you! Comically enough, a dead body behaves very liquid like, the way Hank holds Donna’s dead body - no matter how strong he is - if he doesn’t have a good enough grip on her(which he doesn’t, the actress helps him a great deal with shifting the weight of her booty, also forcing her own body to roll TOWARDS Hank’s body) the body rolls away from your body

But i put this in parenthesis because it’s not a jab at the show just something interesting i thought i’d tell you... also before you all freak out. It was an old lady that died in my shift from a stroke back when i still worked in a nursing home. She sat in her chair eating her dinner, and the next moment i went to check on her and tell her it’s time for bed, she was dead. And as human dignity after death dictates, i and my colleague had to put her body in the bed, dressed in her best clothes and then separated from outside view with a screen)

I didn’t need Batman’s monologue

what you here for Jason... lol bye i guess

gasp IS THAT A GARFIELD LOGAN SCENE I SEE BEFORE ME?

THANK. FKIN. YOU. GRAYSON! Finally owning up for the BIGGEST mistake he made this season

“all i can do is promise that will never happen again” Gar’s face when he said “thanks”. THAT is what i feel... like... ok, that’s good that you promised but it won’t right the wrongs that happened so far, it’s rain after the fire has died down

oh... Heman and Shera... still boring af

“she died saving my life”.... well if only you’d ran sideways~

does ANYONE have a wet towel? I wanna watch it dry...

“what about Hawk and Dove?” bitch imma borrow the headline of Miraculous Ladybug and say: YOU’RE THE SAME FKIN PERSON, NO MATTER WHAT CLOTHES ARE ON YOU

of course everything is thanks to Batman

monologue time no. 2 ... i would not be this bitchy about this if Donna’s death wasn’t a scene ripped from Monty Python

I’m sure those two kids will be alright 8)

[gabbyhall]

They Never Know

Part 2

Time to begin the routine, as you get your car and drive off. However your mind reflects back to the apartment, to the shower, to your man. Making the right turn straight down at the bottom of the hill you’re now on the Main Street ,Centre Ave. It’s called that ironically enough, and you should be able to head in the forward direction to the hospital to start your work day. A 15 min commute turns into 25, which then turn into 40 minutes. You’ve literally only travel 20 feet in 5 minutes!.” This is fucking ridiculous! Are you really kidding me!...grunting as you grip the steering wheel tightly, watching other cars being WAY TOO polite on the road. “I’m so over this shit!”. As you attempt and successfully merge into the left lane, the light finally turns green,so you make a B-line onto Shady Ave, another ironically named street. It’s one of the many short cuts only city kids know about. Now heading quickly to your destination, at the only red light you noticed the bar that is facing straight head. The neon sign is off, but you still can read the sign “Tequila Cowboy.” A small, slight smirk emerges across from your face. You’ve only been to that bar once, and once was all it took to change your life for good......

Five Years Ago..........

“I’m not going out tonight guys! Y’all acting like I don’t even have work tomorrow am, which by the way is my first day on the job!” You’re elevating your voice on the phone as you talk to your girlfriends, pacing back and forth in your living room wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt. “This ain’t happen! I’m going to bed and gonna get a jumpstart in the morning. I got fucking orientation!” Hanging up the phone and then plops on the couch. Sighing, almost lamenting you made that scene, displaying such phone balls! Once again you’re letting nerves get the better of you. “If you change your mind grandma....we at Tequila Cowboy!!!!” It’s the last text you get for awhile anyway from your squad. So the grandma that you are. You make dinner, clean up, shower and head off to bed. Knowledge in the fact that you did the right thing......no matter how much you LOVE Tequila....and cowboys!!!

A few hours past by and your phone is buzzing stirring you up. “Hmmm.....do I have to get up already!. But wait! It’s only 2:12 am! Squinting upwards at the digital clock glowingly mounted up on the wall in your dark bedroom. “Hel...lo....what’s wrong? Are you ok? Ok ok ok I’m on my way!” Then in a sudden rush you throw on your jacket and sneakers still in your sweatpants and T-shirt, get your keys to drive over to the bar. “Hold up! Where the hell is Tequila Cowboy?!?” Wiping the sleep out of your eyes, you begin searching online for the address and turn on your GPS. “Wow I can’t believe I haven’t gone to this bar before....so fucking close to my house!” Within 5 minutes you make it to the “scene of the crime.” Up ahead a neon sign glares the name of the establishment, with a rider on a bull falling off onto his ass. Chuckling, you enter the bar hearing pulsating Dubstep music playing faintly but increases as you walk down the hall. “Do I need to pay a cover charge or something? I need to pick up my friends.” Giving the bouncer a look as if to say... you better say no! “Nah it’s after midnight so no need! Besides I was gonna let you in for free. Please tell me you friends with that girl!”..pointing off to the left where you can clearly see one of your best friends singing Imagine Dragons “Radioactive” and doing a horrible job at it. “Yeah....that’s my girlfriend.” Shaking your head and slightly covering your face with your one hand. The bouncer waves you in....”I’ve tried to stop her.....but she bit me!!!”....whining like a little child even though he has to be 6’3” and weigh at least 250 lbs.

There’s your girl almost passed out from belting a note flatly. Walking up to your squad, “What the hell happened!” asking giving off that parental tone. One of your other friends explains “I don’t know gurl. We were all on the dance floor, having a good time but we lost track of her, and the next thing you know she starts tripping!” Then your attention goes back to your beyond buzzed friend slurring. “Immma be a star bish youse see!!!...Dis is my time!” Screeching her music dreams in club. “I know honey I know you will be! But first let’s get you home so you can dream about it some more.” Looking at the rest of your squad. “I’ll take her home and get an Uber for you guys, ok?” Your friends agree to the plan, and leave the bar in the UBER. Then, carefully picking your ridiculously drunk friend up from underneath her one arm, providing her support unto your shoulders. Then you notice she’s making this noise. It’s that sound you make just before you lose everything from deep inside. “Oh snap I’m getting you to the bathroom! With no time to waste, you find the nearest bathroom. Not even caring about gender assignments for the moment as you both enter inside. Then your friend “let’s out the beast” and all you can do is pull back her hair as she makes a new friend with the toilet in the men’s bathroom. The stall door closed behind you two for privacy.

Suddenly and randomly the main men’s bathroom door opens up abruptly and you hear passionately moans and shuffling of feet! You may not be able to see...but you can tell there are two more entering in a rush. But in this case, they don’t have time to make it to their car let alone the bedroom!! The sounds of this couple panting and kissing each other feverishly. Then a small thud is heard and you can’t help but now peek through the stall door safely knowing your friend has finally stopped vomiting. As you peek ever so slightly you notice the couple consists of two men. One, only just slightly above average in appearance, more typical of the guy you would see on the street, nothing much particular about him. The other though, is taller and you swear to god he could be a model. The more attractive individual clearly has more experience and prowess. This is because you notice how he manipulated the other throwing him up against the wall, kissing his neck deeply, while his hands reaching for that belt buckle, undoes the buckle, and unzips his pants. His hand slowly stroking his partner’s dick, rubbing the tip with his thumb. Then unbuttoning his partners shirt to place light kisses down his chest. Finally, going down licking his partner along his shaft and then kissing his tip before swallowing him whole. His head moving in and out. While his lover bites his lower lip in agony!

Not knowing what to do though.You want to leave the bathroom with your friend quietly, but becoming slightly aroused by this lustful scene unfolding right in front of you. Wondering how long they’re gonna be in this bathroom together Slowly your heart begins to pound and your eyebrows furrow to stay focused on the bigger picture. “Damn! Why did you cum already?” The taller man teasing as the smaller man nods bashfully. “Hmm I need to teach you a lesson on self control!”....smack his partner on the ass and they get redressed kissing, as they hold hands, and exit the bathroom. Meanwhile you’re astounded. What is a man that good looking doing with some weak ass average joe?!? “Life isn’t fair! Why do the fine ones have to be always taken?!”....slowly asking yourself as you shake your head. Thankfully, the hot model’s boyfriend is a one minute man!

Retaining your focus and now realizing that your friend isn’t responding. She still has a pulse but is unconscious. There’s a sudden panic consuming you. It’s time for a change of plans. Instead of taking her home, you decide that she needs to seek medical care and grabbing your phone call for paramedics. In a few minutes you hear the sirens. As they enter the bathroom your mind is going in a million directions. Worry for your best friend, laying helpless on the gurney and being removed from the bar. There’s also guilt, for not being there with her earlier and for being distracted by a random ass quick sex scene between two strange men. Anxiety about how all of these events will effect your work performance for your new nursing career, which is about to start in a few hours. Then, shame for even thinking about your own stressors that have nothing to do with your friend, who is in her own distress. “I’m staying with her!” Saying adamantly to the one of the EM workers as she nods quietly without arguing. Then quickly rushing off to the nearest hospital, following the ambulance. Coincidentally, it’s the same hospital where you are to start your shift. Entering the Emergency Room you reluctantly have to wait, forced to fill out useless paperwork. All you can do is let the professionals and your future colleagues take over and care for your friend. Sitting in that waiting area, nothing matters. All that matters is whether or not she makes it through. Finally a patient care tech walks in and provides updates and relief rushes you as you find out that she’ll be okay. However, she suffered from alcohol poisoning due to excess consumption. That she will be requiring observation for 24-48 hours. “I can visit her though right?!” The care technician nods and escorts you inside to her exam room. Seeing her looking up at you solidifying that relief and happiness overwhelming you. “What were you thinking? You could’ve been in worse straits....I guess grandma gotta keep you girls in check!” As your friend smiles reassuring you that it will NEVER go down like this again. You let her know that you’ll be here to visit her later on, and that you’ll let the others know that she’s alright. Quietly, you exit the exam room and begin to make those calls.

The new game plan...... grab a thousand cups of coffee, get in your car, rush back home, change, and rush back to that same damn hospital!! It’s amazing what you can when you set your mind to it. Even if your mind is running on only about a few hours of sleep! “It’s no big thing...you got this!” Telling yourself this as you try to find the Biomedical Building. From the email that you received from your HR Rep, you’re suppose to find Room 233. Room 233 is the conference hall, a brightly expanded room with 5 outstretched tables, adorned with the standard breakfast goods. You pick the middle table, first seat. But is only because there’s fresh coffee that is staring you right in the face! So you then grab for your 1000 and 1 cup of coffee, and seat down. It’s 9:00 am in the morning and slowly the rest of the new hires file in. Then, the head doctors and nurses, as well administration enter the conference room. Now it’s time to try to stay awake and learn about all the “fun” stuff. Policies, procedures, blah, blah, blah, blah!!!!

During these series of PowerPoint presentations, one boring speaker after another. You slightly perk up a bit. “This next policy we are going to discuss will involve interpersonal relations in the work environment. The speaker will be Dr. Sehun Oh MD FACS... head chairmen of the Urology Department here at UPMC Shadyside. Please welcome him to the podium.” Small polite applause fills the room. You on the other hand are not clapping. Dr. Oh is tall, slender....with distinguished features and you’re thinking to yourself...”Omg!! That can’t be him. That isn’t him.....why does he look so familiar?” But, you know damn well why he looks so familiar!? This model-like MD, is the same model-like stranger you saw in that men’s bathroom last night! A warm rush of nerves floods your body, as he is speaking. He may not know you from Adam, but you know him from last Eve!!! However, he speaks fluently and directly on how and why romantic relationships are NOT tolerated in UPMC Hospitals. He explains in detail about the levels of reprimands that are to be forced upon employees who break this rules. Listening and comprehending this lecture given by your now superior. You have no choice but to actually pay attention for the first time since you’ve been here, allowing his words to become absorbed in your brain. You ignore your first impressions of him. You ignore the fact that he is handsome and find him extremely attractive. You ignore the fact that he has a sexually dominated personality, but is in a relationship with another guy. You ignore all of this, because it’s none of your business and besides you’re not EVEN his type?.........right!?

[nightglider124]

hey, Night! hope you're having a great day!! you did a fantastic job with all the other drabbles. would you mind writing 12 for Robstar?? thank you so much!!

Hey gurl!! I haven’t spoken to you in so long!! Hope you’re well, m’dear

I feel some may be like Star wouldn’t react this way to what I’m throwing out but… she would. Like, every woman can say ‘I wouldn’t do that’ but you would. A break of trust, no matter how small, is a big blow. This is kinda personal but not something that has directly happened to me.

This is my last request on this prompt meme. Anymore sent through will not be written up. And what a good prompt to end it on. Thank you!

“It’s always been you.”

It was colder here than in Jump but then she had been warned of that, multiple times before they came. Even with her resilience to Earth temperatures, she still noticed a difference.

Snow was falling and covering everything in its path as she sat there, simply watching it. Much like watching rain fall from the heavens, watching snow fall was equally relaxing.

Her breath was like ice and she could feel where her tears had dried against her cheeks.

She felt pretty numb now though; the crying was over and the anger had simmered and now she was left with a dull ache; a sadness that was simply there.

Starfire wasn’t really that sure why she was still here. She couldn’t fathom why she’d chosen to stay sat on the “A” of the “Wayne Enterprises” building. Ironic really, all things considered.

Out of place and alone, that was what she felt being in Gotham. She didn’t belong in Gotham and despite repeating that in her head, each time, it made her feel 10 times worse than before.

She heard his footsteps before anything else. He’d tried to be quiet, dropping down on the letter, just behind her. But, she knew when he was there, regardless of how fantastic his stealth skills were.

“You shouldn’t be out here by yourself, Star.”

She kept her back to him, not really ready to see him but she did snort, “I am sure I can manage.”

“Come back to the manor with me, will ya?”

“I would rather not. Thank you.”

He sighed and paced for a moment behind her, “Y’know, ripping your tracker out of your uniform doesn’t help times like this. It just makes me worse. I was worried sick.”

“Oh, I am so terribly sorry.” She replied, in her best sarcastic tone,

“Starfire…” He exhaled,

She sniffled, “Dick, just leave me alone. I do not wish to speak to you.”

“Well tough. You’re my fiancé and I’ll be damned if I’m going to just leave you out here because you’re pissed at me.”

Starfire, feeling more than a little petty pulled off her engagement ring and tossed it behind her without even looking, “There. Now, I am not your fiancé so you can go.”

She didn’t here it ping against the rooftop so she assumed he’d caught it. He was silent for a long time and she wondered if that had been a bit of a too low blow.

“Why did you run from me?” He asked, a sadness gripping his tone,

“You know perfectly well why I left. I couldn’t stay after being lied to by someone I thought I trusted more than anyone else in the universe.”

“I didn’t lie to you-”

Starfire stood up and spun to face him so quickly, he had to rapidly blink. Her eyes were red and puffy where she’d been crying, no doubt and there was a deep look of hurt across her face,

“You never told me about her. Lying or withholding the truth; you did not tell me. Do not try and get out of it on a technicality.”

“I’m not trying to get out of anything. I handled things poorly. I should have told you but I didn’t. I can’t change that but that doesn’t explain why you’re acting so-”

She turned away, hugging herself, “You do not understand… just… go away. I am going home soon anyway.”

His stomach lurched, “What?”

“Do not make me repeat myself.”

“Starfire-”

“Perhaps you can pick things up where you left off with Babs.” Her tone was bitter and a little whiny, making her point very clear.

She didn’t expect his hands to clamp down on her shoulders and spin her around so she was facing him, “Stop it. Babs is just an old friend of mine, okay?”

“She was more than that when you were younger.” Starfire snipped, shoving his hands away from her,

“Look, she was a good friend when I was a kid. Yes, I had a crush on her. Yes, we tried one date that didn’t go anywhere but that was all.”

“If that was all, why did you never mention her!? We���ve been dating for years and talked about previous relationships or lack thereof and you never once spoke of her.”

“I didn’t think it was important. That is why I never told you about her!”

Starfire looked away, out over Gotham skyline, “You looked very comfortable around her; perhaps even more so than you are around me.”

“Star, that’s not true.”

“She knows you so much better than I do. She would be deemed the better woman for you, no?”

Dick crossed the space and grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him. She was only just now noticing that he’d stowed his mask away into his belt. Risky considering they were out in public, despite being on a building rooftop.

“Stop talking. Please, just stop.” He whispered and she could see the emotion gathered in the corners of his eyes,

Starfire sniffled, “I am so ill-suited for you… seeing you with Babs, this girl you used to have feelings for… it simply reinforced what I already know.”

His breathing had gone haggard, “What are you talking about?”

“It bothers me that you never told me about her, truly it does. But… what I believe is worse… is that you and her… you seem to have the extremely good chemistry and comradery. You work well together and I cannot help but think… it is because she is like you. She is human, you are human… it simply makes sense. I can never… I do not… I am not right for you.”

Tears were unexpectedly falling from her eyes and she was powerless to stop them. That was what hurt so much. Of course, there were some dark thoughts questioning his trust but she knew better. She did not believe he would ever hurt her in that way but it simply made her remember what she was or perhaps, what she wasn’t.

They had come here to spend time with the Batfamily, for her to get to know her future family but regardless of their welcoming hospitality, she couldn’t help but feel out of place. And then, storming out after learning about Barbra. She could not go back. It would be too awkward and embarrassing.

“Don’t you dare say that. Not after everything we’ve ever been through. I couldn’t care less if you were human or alien. You’re you and you’re mine and that’s all that matters to me.”

“But-”

He rested his forehead against hers, gazing into her emerald eyes, “It’s you, Star. It’s always been you. And, it’s always going to be you.”

She sniffled, her bottom lip trembling.

“Ever since you kicked that car at my head, it’s been you. You’re the one I want to… I need to spend my life with. I don’t want anyone else but you. Any other girl in my life is like a sister to me.” He whispered, brushing his fingers through her long red hair, “Nothing and no one compares to you, Koriand’r.”

He took hold of one of her slender hands, slipping the earlier discarded engagement ring back onto her finger, marking her as his future bride once more.

“Now… this ring stays on, you got it?”

Starfire blinked, fresh tears dribbling down her face but she nodded. He pecked her forehead and wrapped his arms around her,

“Good. Now, let’s cuddle for a while before we head back. Okay?”

With her face pressed against his shoulder, she nodded and clutched his back as tightly as she could.

[rumdaydreams]

Things I’ve said to Kat about my dating life: SENTENCE STARTERS (pt. 1)

“I had no idea he/she was (muse’s age +12) until I got home this morning and found him/her on instagram.

“He/she texted me while I was at work and I was bored so I made dirty jokes with big words he/she doesn’t understand.”

“I was doing inventory at work last night and all of the sudden there’s this asshole ramming me into the shelf… and it’s HIM/HER!”

“It’s a three way mess and I’m the dick in the middle of it.”

“I’m a fucking tit. I’ve really outdone myself.”

“He/she is still an adorable dork… so fuck?”

“Siri Text Suggestions today: the three ex-one-night-stands-turned-emotional-rollercoasters and my fucking [family member].”

“*drowns trying* It’s all terribly ironic.”

“Oh boy, tonight has been another episode of ‘[muse’s name] Should Lay Off the Rum’”

“He/she said “do you fuck with da war?” I said, “I’d fuck with you.””

“I did a dick thing… well, no, I’ve done many dick things in the past 24 hours, but this one is the dickiest.”

“I need another two players for DICK the game because he/she is ACTUALLY coming over so come through for me bro!”

“This week is kicking me in the balls dude. I don’t even have balls and it’s literally a Tuesday.”

“We have new drunk plans that may or may not require rum or some other equally nautical/Shakespearean alcohol.”

“I know he/she saw it! I saw the little typing bubble pop up.”

“I don’t know, bro, it was simpler when he/she was just a dick.”

“I deleted Tinder and to hell with _____. I am moving the fuck on… audience, he/she did not ‘move the fuck on.’”

“I will listen. Not now. BOI/GURL has landed.”

“Well, sir/ma’am, if you’re on Tinder. SO AM I. And that’s how ____ accidentally happened. Now, how do I get out of it?”

“I’m making bad decisions again.”

“My life is just a bad pun.”

“I’m done with this guy’s/girl’s shit but also not done because fuck me.”

@pelagaios bless you for putting up with my shit. ||| (pt. 2)

[camelopard-alis]

1-60 plz

I LOVE YOU 1. selfieNah I’m gross maybe I’ll post one l8r


2. what would you name your future kids?I have a whole list in my notes lmaoooo but my top three names are Camden, Cade, and Evelyn 


3. do you miss anyone?

I miss my girlfriend a whole fuckin ton ): and also my dog snuggles and also rico and Abbie 


4. what are you looking forward to?

Nikki coming back and also dying 


5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?Nikki omg she like is just ah she makes me smile just thinking about her. Like always. Also Carson, Camryn, and Rico always know how to make me smile idk my dude 


6. is it hard for you to get over someone?At first yes, and then also yes after that, and then I’m good, so then no. It’s a process 


7. what was your life like last year?I was blazed and wearing rose colored glasses lmao

 
8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?This happens a lot especially with my sister Azura yikes 


9. who did you last see in person?My trumpet teacher Patrick !


10. are you good at hiding your feelings?Hahaha I’m actually really good at it, which isn’t always a good thing. Idk I’m working on it 


11. are you listening to music right now?Nah I’m v frustrated w music rn


12. what is something you want right now?A hug and to fucking know how to count rhythms fucking accurately and to stop being a mediocre musician. Oh and also maybe something chocolate 


13. how do you feel right now?REALLY IN LOVE but also Frustrated and overwhelmed and kinda sad but that’s life


14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?Julian hugged me today yoooo


15. personality descriptionIdk a quirky klutz that can ironically run in heels and blogs too much 


16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

Ha this has been one of the biggest problems I [have] face[d] in my life bc of my social anxiety help


17. opinion on insecurities.They are the worst things ever but develop character

 
18. do you miss how things were a year ago?

Mostly no, but in some ways yes I think I do

 
19. have you ever been to New York?Nah I don’t think I really want to go very much either 


20. what is your favourite song at the moment?Waving Through the Window - Ben Platt


21. age and birthday?18 & Dec. 13th


22. description of crush.Okay. You CANT miss her, she’s literally the most stunning girl on the planet, like her description is: glowing and radiant 

But if you’re blind, her name is Nikki and she’s rly kind & funny 


23. fear(s)Buttons and words and auditions 


24. height5'2" help 


25. role model

Mm my mother bc she role modeled to me what I don’t want to be like. And also Santa 


26. idol(s)Shay Mitchell and Jennifer Aniston 


27. things i hateYou probably and playing jazz music also Chris fuckin Ferrari 


28. i’ll love you if…I love everyone despite what I say abt hating you so 


29. favourite film(s)The hours, stonehearst asylum, the craft, and the love witch; not because it’s a good film but because the memory around that film is beautiful and my favorite 


30. favourite tv show(s)PRETTY LITTLE LIARS IM AWFUL and friends and also the voice

 
31. 3 random factsThe only time I ever got grounded was for texting a boy which is humorousUmm I went by the name Daisy for most of my life And once in fourth grade I called the police because my teacher wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom oops 


32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?Girls, I have like 3 guy friends idk sry 
33. something you want to learnHow to play trumpet better 


34. most embarrassing momentO too many. But One time I had a nip slip over FaceTime and that was really the worst ever Idk dog 


35. favourite subjectMath !!


36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?To be a genuinely good person, to be successful in whatever I do, and to have like 14 dogs 


37. favourite actor/actressIdk I don’t really have one but I guess Meryl Streep bc she’s 😍


38. favourite comedian(s)

Ppl aren’t funny

 
39. favourite sport(s)What are THOOOSEHonestly just judo and Olympic gymnastics idk 


40. favourite memoryThe day I finally accepted myself for being gay 


41. relationship statusMm idk maybe you should ask my girlfriend (very much taken obvs)


42. favourite book(s)Looking for Alaska and It’s kind of a funny story 


43. favourite song everThat’s a dumb question idk I’m indecisive and lame 


44. age you get mistaken for

Idk people usually think I’m about my age 


45. how you found out about your idolShe was GAY in a tv show that I’m obsessed with and then the other one is also from a tv show and I just think she’s hot and has a good heart 


46. what my last text message says“I LOVE U AH"


47. turn onsGurls


48. turn offs

Dick 


49. where i want to be right nowIn someone in particulars arms 


50. favourite picture of your idolThat’s too much effort rn so 


51. starsignSagittarius (((;;;;


52. something i’m talented atNot being talented(; 


53. 5 things that make me happyLesbian scenes in movies, my dog, my girl, my best friends, and winning 


54. something thats worrying me at the moment

Everything I’m so incredibly stressed out 


55. tumblr friendsUgh the list is too long 


56. favourite food(s)Pho and hummus and acai bowls and salad and pizza and almonds and ESP. Peanut butter and Frosted Flakes (together obvs)


57. favourite animal(s)Giraffe duh 


58. description of my best friend

Kind and blonde and a total badass (Carson) 

Talented and intelligent and also blonde(Katie) A super bad bitch and super funny and amazingly brunette (Aleah) A major chola dork that I down 40’s with and watch a million movies with and an incredibly great musician (rico) And my every so beautiful, talented, genuine, and loving fake blonde girlfriend (nikki) ❤


59. why i joined tumblrKatie made me one and then made me use it in the 8th grade 


60. ask me anything you wantMmm no

[hgfstreamchats]

Birdemic

Welcome to the 'highglossfinish' room. caffienatedconfetti: henlo bby caffienatedconfetti: fair warning the first bit of this movie is like 5 minutes of boring caffienatedconfetti: followed by 10 more minutes of watching a guys doing stuff Knock Out: I can live with that. caffienatedconfetti: i havent watched it yet because i'm not that masochistic but i figured it's bids, so caffienatedconfetti: huehuehuehuehue Zephra85: MOVIE NIGHT YAAS Zephra85: Hi everyone! Jalaperilo: I always forget whuch shade of green I pick for my name Jalaperilo: but hello! Zephra85: Same with gray for me thenightetc: So I understand we're in for a "treat"? Jalaperilo: i think we've been tricked by this film lol

caffienatedconfetti: the first 30 min are pretty boring tho idk caffienatedconfetti: i havent seen it, only watched a reveiw caffienatedconfetti: it looked funny Jalaperilo: the first 90 minutes if boring lol Jalaperilo: *is Cardinal: I'm hesitantly ready! Knock Out: Beautiful! thenightetc: No doubt we can amuse ourselves with mockery :) Zephra85: 'hesitantly ready' is a good way to describe the beginning of these streams caffienatedconfetti: it may or may not be worth it just for the """"""special effects"""""""" caffienatedconfetti: those giant airqoutes sink in? Knock Out: The more air quotes, the better. Jalaperilo: so who has seen this film? Zephra85: Not me, never even heard of it Knock Out: Oh, this will be fun. thenightetc: Ditto.  I thought it sounded like a video game Knock Out: Go away, bold button. Jalaperilo: be bold Knock Out: Scream everything. Jalaperilo: make strangers on the internet not know if you're being ironic or not thenightetc: I don't think bold is screaming per se.  More an emphatic tone of voice, which may or may not be a *little* louder than normal thenightetc: Reverb, maybe. Zephra85: caps is yelling caffienatedconfetti: ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE Jalaperilo: what about bold caps? Zephra85: bold is... a tone thenightetc: Yeah! caffienatedconfetti: IT IS THE ULTIMATE CANTERLOT VOICEW Zephra85: extreme agression Jalaperilo: I'm gonna start a fight with bold capital letters caffienatedconfetti: ON MY WAY TO STEAL YO GURL Knock Out: I'm concerned for the humans involved here. Their lifespans aren't long enough to waste on this movie. Jalaperilo: this is my second time watching it. if i was concerned abour wasting my life, i wouldnt be here caffienatedconfetti: oh dont worry the women in my family live to be at least 100 caffienatedconfetti: i have plenty of time to waste Knock Out: Oh, well, in that case! Knock Out: "Vetnamese." caffienatedconfetti: you mean vietnamese? thenightetc: ...Have you started it?  It's showing as offline for me Zephra85: Same for me caffienatedconfetti: what does that have to do with anything? did i miss something caffienatedconfetti: also yeah same Knock Out: Well, glad we caught that one early! Knockout: Is it showing now? caffienatedconfetti: thar we go~ Knockout: Beautiful! thenightetc: There it is!  I had to click pause and play but it is now Cardinal: I see it! Knockout: Well, not for me. I have to sit through fifteen minutes of that again. thenightetc: There, there Zephra85: Oh pausing and unpausing worked for me too Jalaperilo: im sure you did something to deserve that Zephra85: but I missed the beginning, drat Zephra85: oh well caffienatedconfetti: primus is trying to get your organs to explode thenightetc: Just scenery shots Jalaperilo: i forgot that the film director tries to be hitchcock like in this caffienatedconfetti: is it working thenightetc: God would it kill you to mount the camera on something instead of just holding it Cardinal: . . . Cardinal: Well, it's a thrill ride so far! thenightetc: ...I'm just saying. Jalaperilo: Zephra, you could not watch the first 30 minutes and you would have missed nothing caffienatedconfetti: this music loop is killing me slowly caffienatedconfetti: AGAIN caffienatedconfetti: WHY Cardinal: help caffienatedconfetti: send help thenightetc: It's the only music they licensed caffienatedconfetti: i';m being held against my will my address is123 help Cardinal: it keeps happening Zephra85: LOL Jalaperilo: the director saw Psycho and thought that was the way that all films should begin caffienatedconfetti: if it loops again i swear to god caffienatedconfetti: KNIFE TIME thenightetc: pfffffff Jalaperilo: hahah! thenightetc: At this point it's like a running joke Cardinal: The music is the true villain of this movie. thenightetc: ...That didn't sound like a car door caffienatedconfetti: and here we see the beta male, going out on the hunt for cheap fast food thenightetc: *mildly unsettled* Zephra85: cronch caffienatedconfetti: OW caffienatedconfetti: WHAT IS THIS AUDIO Zephra85: cronch cronch caffienatedconfetti: WHAT IS HER FACE caffienatedconfetti: LOOK BOOBS Jalaperilo: i realised I have blocked out 90% of this film as i forgot how angry i got at its *** cinematography Zephra85: what is going on with the sound editing caffienatedconfetti: "durrrrrrr henlo this isn't creep at all" caffienatedconfetti: nice dud ver classy thenightetc: Did she... pay? caffienatedconfetti: stalker much thenightetc: THEN DON'T. Cardinal: how do you think he knew that caffienatedconfetti: ew Cardinal: ha ha creepy Cardinal: stellar acting thenightetc: wooooooow caffienatedconfetti: "hello person  ive never met let me tell you everything abotut me" Zephra85: legit tho caffienatedconfetti: "here's my phone number, address, and pin number" thenightetc: they're cutting between different takes of the audio aren't they too thenightetc: Oh my god caffienatedconfetti: wait you saw each other 2 seconds ago why did you say hi again caffienatedconfetti: end me Cardinal: WAS IT nice talking to him?  Was it? Jalaperilo: my guess is that they didnt have a boom mic and so just used the camera mic thenightetc: I hope he dies. caffienatedconfetti: IT'S SO EASY TO MAKE AN EFFECT TO MAKE IT SOUND LIKE UR ON THE TV WHY Zephra85: the news announcer has the least stilted acting, what does THAT say about this movie caffienatedconfetti: sorry for babbling its just YIVUJGHFH Jalaperilo: hey knock knock, have you ever shown Megashark vs Giant Octopus? Cardinal: ((At some point we should watch THe Time Machine I Found At A Garage Sale. Knockout: I can't say that I have. Cardinal: ((Legitimately the worst movie I've ever seen. caffienatedconfetti: brb getting a seltzer and flushing my dignity down the toilet Jalaperilo: its a great film that should deffo go on the list thenightetc: "THIS MOVIE WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY CHEVRON" Zephra85: heh Zephra85: the bf and I do that too whenever there's a lingering shot of a brand logo Zephra85: 'BROUGHT TO YOU BY _____' thenightetc: Although in this case I'm willing to believe they were just eating up a little time there. Cardinal: This movie is killing me Cardinal: I don't care about your big fish, fleshie Jalaperilo: *** off Jalaperilo: one mil in a firm like that? Zephra85: yyyyeah that's not happening thenightetc: Oh.  Oh god. Jalaperilo: did no one want to pay the elec bill thenightetc: He's going to come bother her at her work ISN'T HE >:( Jalaperilo: ? Zephra85: hello pufferfish desktop bg thenightetc: *transfixed by the pufferfish* thenightetc: This is an improvement Zephra85: very Cardinal: The pufferfish looks how I feel Zephra85: this pufferfish is portraying more genuine emotion than any of the actors Jalaperilo: the stalker from the restaurant Cardinal: I continue to not like the guy Cardinal: UGH Zephra85: VETnamese eh? thenightetc: Whyyyyy.  Why would she go on a date with that guy. caffienatedconfetti: what happened caffienatedconfetti: where's the movie? Cardinal: The pufferfish ate it Zephra85: it's been replaced by this vastly superior pufferfish Jalaperilo: my guess is the mouse got moved to the bottom right corner that turns all windows transparent Cardinal: I'm sure whatever we imagine them doing is more interesting than what they're actually doing. caffienatedconfetti: where's knockout? thenightetc: God, I hope they BOTH die.  Both these guys. Jalaperilo: it beans our host has left us to suffer alone lol Zephra85: Nuuuu bring back the pufferfish Cardinal: Pufferfish, don't abandon us Knockout: I'm back, and nothing happened! Zephra85: was... was her ringtone a bicycle bell? Knockout: Where did it leave off? thenightetc: the audio is killing me caffienatedconfetti: that awkwa rd  pause thenightetc: oh my god.  why thenightetc: This is the worst editing I've ever seen caffienatedconfetti: everything is going great for everyone: news at 11 Jalaperilo: we're ok withnot catvhing up with what we lost Zephra85: legit Zephra85: yeah srsly caffienatedconfetti: that wheeze tho Zephra85: the sound editing is hurting me more than the video editing caffienatedconfetti: this is sexist to both sexes thenightetc: Yeah, that's what I mean. Knockout: I can see why you all preferred the pufferfish. thenightetc: I hope a bird bites his dick off. Zephra85: I miss the pufferfish thenightetc: That's... what this movie's about, right?  Eventually? caffienatedconfetti: and aslo, sexist to sexes  that don't exist Jalaperilo: i was starting to have a bad evening but the rage i feel at this film has burned up all the anxiety lol caffienatedconfetti: it's a preachy global warming film apparently caffienatedconfetti: oh god please caffienatedconfetti: why this caffienatedconfetti: no thenightetc: Why was there a watermelon carved into a basket caffienatedconfetti: *overly long shot of a roof* Zephra85: because discussing the location of the solar panels he's installing is intregal to the plot Jalaperilo: global warming is fake, the earth is flat and new coke was a marketing ploy to boost sales of coke classic! caffienatedconfetti: what thenightetc: *silent handshake* caffienatedconfetti: oh ok caffienatedconfetti: racist now

caffienatedconfetti: loveluy Zephra85: that hug was so awkward but I bet it wasn't acting caffienatedconfetti: *overly long shot of a ffffuking WALL* caffienatedconfetti: THIS IS NOT ART thenightetc: Self-burn! Knockout: "I have to go all of a sudden." caffienatedconfetti: no none cares Jalaperilo: wanna watch tedious superflouous plot that goes nowhere, watch the 4th film of a certain franchise we all like. caffienatedconfetti: which one lol? thenightetc: it's so conspicuous how the background music is just another 15 second loop and not actually something that would be playing in a restaurant caffienatedconfetti: he looks dead inside Jalaperilo: maybe he is? caffienatedconfetti: that or he's planning her murder thenightetc: Her dog, right caffienatedconfetti: close- a cat thenightetc: ...Okay, I was close Zephra85: oh THAT'S her strategy Zephra85: get out of this awful date by talking about her cat non stop thenightetc: Those, uh thenightetc: Those are some slow and unbeleivable birds caffienatedconfetti: 0those certainly are some graphic Jalaperilo: top of the line computer graphics, brought to you by mspaint Jalaperilo: knock, you gonna fatshame these birds caffienatedconfetti: that is a reenscreen? Zephra85: it freaking was thenightetc: Oh god, did they make them slow-motion so they wouldn't have to make as many frames Knockout: Of course not. My spark goes out to those birds. Zephra85: they live a painful existence of terrible animation caffienatedconfetti: bet you 20 bucks theres a support group for birdemic actors Knockout: Classy. thenightetc: Ugh. thenightetc: Now just stand there outside her house all night. Zephra85: oh god that scene change was abrupt and painful caffienatedconfetti: oh god another old lady Zephra85: that's her mother caffienatedconfetti: no why Zephra85: she looks old enough to be her grandmother caffienatedconfetti: poor lady Jalaperilo: shes pretty good at acting caffienatedconfetti: i thought she said her mom wasn't supportive? caffienatedconfetti: ew????? Zephra85: 'marry rich' Zephra85: 'I love your advice mom' thenightetc: That's funny because I keep getting the impression she's planning a black widow thing and that's why she's putting up with this creep caffienatedconfetti: EWEWEW caffienatedconfetti: EWWWWWW caffienatedconfetti: WHYWHWYHWYWB7JHG thenightetc: oh my god caffienatedconfetti: "THIS SEX SCENE SPONSORED BY IMAGINE PEACE" thenightetc: it's the ringtone they use for those "turn your *** phone off" ads! caffienatedconfetti: ALSO THAT ACENT WHY????? caffienatedconfetti: AUUUGUH caffienatedconfetti: IS HER NOSE STUFFED WITH COTTON Jalaperilo: "oh i phones you during sex? let me keep talking to you' Jalaperilo: a billion??? thenightetc: "a billion dollars" thenightetc: What a nice round number? Zephra85: oh god stop already Zephra85: these cut aways hurt Jalaperilo: "youre all fired" thenightetc: So they make uh........ database software I guess? thenightetc: Please let that be foreshadowing thenightetc: what. Zephra85: this movie is making my soul hurt Jalaperilo: hahaha! thenightetc: Her shirt Knockout: Shoot me. thenightetc: why this. Jalaperilo: no can do. primus/unicron demands we suffer Zephra85: f*ck what they want caffienatedconfetti: I WISH FOR DEATH Zephra85: SAVE US PUFFERFISH Jalaperilo: i wonder what this films agenda is? caffienatedconfetti: PRIMUS YOU *** caffienatedconfetti: oh right forgot about that lol sorry thenightetc: I thought he was going to reject the pitch, he kinda had the look of a guy who was slowly realizing he'd been invited to a multi-level-marketing pitch Knockout: The pufferfish loves you and would help you if it could. caffienatedconfetti: "save the planet, bitchfaces" caffienatedconfetti: was there just a festival in town and they were like "sure lets put that in the movie" Zephra85: I buy it thenightetc: [insert joke about Smokescreen] caffienatedconfetti: also didn't they say it was winter???????? caffienatedconfetti: so many questions Jalaperilo: you can find the answers within Zephra85: oh god what the hell thenightetc: Did they edit in the middle of a sentence Cardinal: ((That's a great thing to hear on a date Cardinal: (("You sound like my mother" caffienatedconfetti: HELLO Knockout: I like the man with the metal detector. Cardinal: This is the part where the birds eat them, right? caffienatedconfetti: I CANT HEAR YOU OVER THIS WIND caffienatedconfetti: ALSO THAT IS VERY CONVINCING DEAD BIRD thenightetc: "Don't touch it!  It's fake!" Zephra85: Give the fake bird an oscar caffienatedconfetti: it's the best actor in this film tbh thenightetc: That's not retirement, it's a sabbatical Zephra85: STOP SAYING RETIREMENT Jalaperilo: it sounds like an interview thenightetc: I was just going to say thenightetc: It's shot like one too caffienatedconfetti: please kill me thenightetc: *total silence* caffienatedconfetti: i'm sorry for suggesting this it was a mistake thenightetc: Suffer with us. caffienatedconfetti: this movie in general is a mistake caffienatedconfetti: also where is the birdemic? where is the shock and terror? Zephra85: yeah seriously can we get to the plot already thenightetc: oh god caffienatedconfetti: end emeeeeeeee thenightetc: That bit right there Knockout: There's a persistent, gentle disgust. Close enough. caffienatedconfetti: did they hire a black guy to dance and pretrend to sing in front of a mic thenightetc: Maybe it's karaoke thenightetc: God, the restaurant is totally empty except for them, isn't it Zephra85: this movie couldn't get the licencing for a single song so they had to write their own Zephra85: it's just as disappointing as the rest of the movie Knockout: This movie's taken something from me I can never get back. thenightetc: I'm sure there's plenty more disappointment in store caffienatedconfetti: your soul? Knockout: Oh, please, no. caffienatedconfetti: OOOOHOHOOH JESUS GOD Knockout: Dear Unicron, no. thenightetc: Why is the tv on caffienatedconfetti: NONONPOE caffienatedconfetti: EW NO caffienatedconfetti: STOP THIS thenightetc: Hey uh if you wanna skip past any of this I'm sure none of us would complain Zephra85: isn't this the same room their friends were getting their bone on thenightetc: I don't know, is there that IMAGINE PEACE sign on the wall? Zephra85: Oh right my bad Knockout: GAAH! Jalaperilo: *** Zephra85: WHAT THE HELL caffienatedconfetti: MY EARS thenightetc: uhhh? Jalaperilo: i fell asleep Zephra85: I BET YOU'RE NOT ASLEEP ANYMORE thenightetc: This is.... sudden caffienatedconfetti: are those kamikaze birbs thenightetc: And unconvincing Jalaperilo: *** myheart Zephra85: HOLY F**** thenightetc: How are they doing that Jalaperilo: i think im dying thenightetc: Birds don't do that caffienatedconfetti: wow look at those graphics caffienatedconfetti: so realistic thenightetc: Pictured: physics probably caffienatedconfetti: i could just reach out and touch them they look so real caffienatedconfetti: RAWKRAWKRAWKRAWL Zephra85: plot twist: no sex happened, they just fell asleep making out caffienatedconfetti: wait what caffienatedconfetti: battery is dead.... in a landline????? thenightetc: They could have, like, started the movie here Jalaperilo: my chest hurts thenightetc: Why do the birds hate them in particular though caffienatedconfetti: yes but then we'd have missed an hour of environmental preaching Zephra85: yeah that's gonna stop them from breaking the glass and getting through the top part of the window Knockout: Just look at them. Jalaperilo: we should have watched The Birds instead Zephra85: Srsly caffienatedconfetti: we could do that next time, it'd probably get the bad taste out of my mouth caffienatedconfetti: "hello stranger thank you for letting us inside your home" caffienatedconfetti: oh god thenightetc: No, I think it's a hotel caffienatedconfetti: clothes hangers caffienatedconfetti: why thenightetc: oh my god Zephra85: wait Zephra85: this looks familiar Zephra85: just this one part caffienatedconfetti: i'm so sorry knockout i made a grievous error thenightetc: That's the only animation they made for them thenightetc: So they have to use it a lot caffienatedconfetti: forgive me Zephra85: ... Knock Out did somebody send this to you at some point as a submission? But like, just this scene? Jalaperilo: thats what you get for suggesting a film you havent seen lol Knockout: That would make sense. thenightetc: They weren't even attacking, just hovering caffienatedconfetti: forgive meeeeeeeee Zephra85: WHERE THE HECK Knockout: The bird noises are upsetting Impact's cats. Zephra85: WHERE DID THOSE GUNS COME FROM thenightetc: You mean you don't carry a gun with you everywhere in case of bird attacks? Jalaperilo: from any atore in murica? Jalaperilo: *store thenightetc: seems legit thenightetc: haha is that a machine gun thenightetc: dude don't gesture with the goddamn gun Zephra85: they're not the kind of guns people just HAVE though caffienatedconfetti: o hello dead dude Jalaperilo: i dont know how gun ownership works. can you tell Zephra85: most unrealistic part part of the movie: a kid willingly sharing his video game with his sister Jalaperilo: ha! thenightetc: Nothing about, like.  Calling the police or something? thenightetc: Just, "oh well these are our kids now" Zephra85: phones aren' working still I guess thenightetc: jesus, what Jalaperilo: grim Zephra85: I feel like I should start drinking heavily in hopes of getting black-out drunk and forgetting I ever saw this movie thenightetc: "welp, he's dead, guess all this stuff is free" thenightetc: So I guess it's apocalyptic now? caffienatedconfetti: idk thenightetc: why are they eating out in the open caffienatedconfetti: i made a grevious error thenightetc: I don't think that's what bird flu does Zephra85: 'good thing I have this dollar-store mask to protect me' Zephra85: oh dear god Jalaperilo: no, the birds are just dicks Zephra85: you'd have to get a whole pig in your arms to match this kind of ham-fisting thenightetc: ikr Knockout: "Orthologist." thenightetc: "the birds know I'm an ornithologist :)" caffienatedconfetti: i am so sorry thenightetc: You should be. thenightetc: some dude in the background just walking on the beach Jalaperilo: time for caffinated to go to the virtual time out corner to think about what they've done Knockout: "Pretty good at ***?" caffienatedconfetti: *sobbing* thenightetc: I heard it too. thenightetc: I think it was supposed to be "shooting" Jalaperilo: that made me laugh Zephra85: oh wow Zephra85: okay Zephra85: w o w Knockout: Point the gun in his face some more. thenightetc: That was... fast?  DId she accidentally shoot her Knockout: Yes. "Accidentally." Zephra85: 'I didn't do anything' isn't very trustworthy first words thenightetc: Just hovering menacingly thenightetc: Like some vast, predatory bird Zephra85: HAAA Jalaperilo: *clapping for the furmanism* thenightetc: *whistles* thenightetc: Are they just... shooting at the bus with a machine gun Zephra85: Nice furmanism Zephra85: HAH thenightetc: ...What thenightetc: Do we want to know aht that was Zephra85: so... a bird exploded, and instead of blood and intestinal tracking they were covered with... vomit? Jalaperilo: gtg. i'm past my limit for bedtime lol. have fun suffering without me x x x Knockout: Run, Jalaperilo human. Run far and fast. Zephra85: Be free, Jalaperilo! Jalaperilo: i will. and I will memorialise your sacrifice in poetry thenightetc: Hahahaha they're just gonna thenightetc: drive off without paying Zephra85: ... it exploded Zephra85: okay that's it I'm drinking thenightetc: The birds have missiles now thenightetc: "bought" thenightetc: hahahahah caffienatedconfetti: its gettin late and i have school tomorrow caffienatedconfetti: sorry icannot stick around and continue to suffer thenightetc: You wimp caffienatedconfetti: well i mean thenightetc: You brought this upon us and now you're leaving? thenightetc: *judgey stare* Zephra85: I feel like I have to see this through to the end now out of spite thenightetc: *so much judgement* Zephra85: YOU WILL NOT BREAK ME, MOVIE caffienatedconfetti: look i'm not dealing with this fallout caffienatedconfetti: they're almost to the treehugger scene and i can't caffienatedconfetti: nooooo thankee caffienatedconfetti: just gonna mosey on outta here thenightetc: Boooooo caffienatedconfetti: maybe change my name Zephra85: Bye!! caffienatedconfetti: great now i feel bad caffienatedconfetti: look i didnt know the movie was THIS boring caffienatedconfetti: btw nice ponytail Zephra85: (blinkblink.blinkblink) Knockout: *Scene missing* thenightetc: ...*Are* those... redwoods? caffienatedconfetti: lol nope caffienatedconfetti: "not enough water" caffienatedconfetti: *running stream in the background* Zephra85: .......... caffienatedconfetti: fine i'll stay\ caffienatedconfetti: despite my tiredness thenightetc: That was like.  A clip from a documentary or something wasn't it Zephra85: w h y caffienatedconfetti: jngkmjnredkvm zzzzz caffienatedconfetti: wait what caffienatedconfetti: mountain lions? caffienatedconfetti: redwoods? thenightetc: "Mountain lions can't climb trees!" caffienatedconfetti: in the same place????? Knockout: Congratulations, caffienated human. You stayed awake and now Treehugger will visit you in your dreams. Knockout: Every single night. caffienatedconfetti: please forigve caffienatedconfetti: i am so sorry thenightetc: *CGI fire* thenightetc: so real.  much danger. caffienatedconfetti: how threaned i am Zephra85: Nobody is ever allowed to give Beast Wars's CGI flack AGAIN thenightetc: behold the folly of man--did the fire cut out just before it changed scenes caffienatedconfetti: KILL ME I DESERVE  IT thenightetc: Your punishment is watching this movie caffienatedconfetti: I HAVE BROUGHT NOTHING BUT SUFFERIIIIIING thenightetc: It's only like 13 more minutes thenightetc: And it's probably going to be 10 minutes of credits with the same music snippet looped forever Knockout: In Birdemic time, that translates to three hours. Zephra85: oh nooo our bf's are dead thenightetc: Uhhhhh Knockout: I choked on fuel. Zephra85: she's still moving and breathing thenightetc: But I thought she died out in the field thenightetc: After whatshername discharged a weapon in her general direction caffienatedconfetti: FACE CUT = DEATH caffienatedconfetti: LOOOOGUC Zephra85: different girl, those two from before were random strangers they met at the hotel thenightetc: Ohhhhhh, right Zephra85: these were their two friends from the beginning caffienatedconfetti: end my life thenightetc: Forgot about that Knockout: How could you forget Imagine Peace human? Zephra85: BUT THERE'S NO FISH TO CAAATCH BECAUSE GLOBAL WARMING KILLED THEM AALLLLL thenightetc: ...That also explains why he's surprised by what's in the van, I guess.  It was their van and they're dead thenightetc: Well I ASSUMED she had more than one shirt caffienatedconfetti: inskifb ukvgm caffienatedconfetti: let's eat seaweed caffienatedconfetti: its clean caffienatedconfetti: probably thenightetc: just eat some seaweed off the ground Knockout: That beach looks polluted. Zephra85: now for a ham-fisted monologue about over-fishing and polution and mORE GLOBAL WARMING caffienatedconfetti: where did they get ball?>???? thenightetc: haha just plop the whole thing right in a pot of water caffienatedconfetti: cooker??? Zephra85: ... sooo you're not gonna gut it or prep it in any way first thenightetc: don't gut it or anything caffienatedconfetti: what is  logic Zephra85: okay then thenightetc: "...YOU eat it first" Zephra85: MOST REALISTIC PART OF THE MOVIE caffienatedconfetti: eewwwwwww thenightetc: Pfff, so much for birds only attacking people in cars Zephra85: in the face of the apocalypse kids complaining that they want junk food caffienatedconfetti: RAWKRAWKRAWK Zephra85: WAKAWKAWAK thenightetc: Ha, he's only NOW run out of bullets Knockout: I'm sure it would have been healthier than the ungutted fish and seawood they found on the ground. Zephra85: sRSLY thenightetc: A happy meal? Oh yeah, probably thenightetc: Are they.... going back for the fist thenightetc: *fish Zephra85: 'We're murdered all but these four humans, our work is done' caffienatedconfetti: winged murder raptors have never been so nonthreatening Zephra85: those child actors look so bored thenightetc: "...oh no they're coming back, BACK TO THE VAN" caffienatedconfetti: nice giraffee neck human dude caffienatedconfetti: oh NOW i canm go to bed caffienatedconfetti: i have suffered enough thenightetc: But the credits :) Zephra85: I think we've all suffered enough for the sake of all existence caffienatedconfetti: thank you caffienatedconfetti: again, i am very sorry thenightetc: Ooooo! caffienatedconfetti: knockout caffienatedconfetti: why Zephra85: Because you obviously didn't get enough birds, Knock Out thenightetc: Dirty bird. caffienatedconfetti: what???? caffienatedconfetti: fat birb caffienatedconfetti: wait what thenightetc: *growing suspician* caffienatedconfetti: oh caffienatedconfetti: um caffienatedconfetti: oh dear caffienatedconfetti: this is 1000x better tho thenightetc: Well Zephra85: oh my god thenightetc: This is amazing caffienatedconfetti: wait what caffienatedconfetti: did they..... did they nail a whole chicken to a tree????? Zephra85: oh god I laughed really loud with that last one Zephra85: I think so caffienatedconfetti: kncokout look up the parrote sketch, monty python caffienatedconfetti: *parrot Zephra85: THE PARROT SKETCH thenightetc: Fantastic choice, Knock Out; it makes up for the entire movie. caffienatedconfetti: this si human humor at its finest Knockout: Whatever helps us all to heal. Zephra85: the first time I heard this sketch it was an audio only caffienatedconfetti: its very british Zephra85: so it was like a radio play Zephra85: it played out perfectly caffienatedconfetti: also john cleese is in it so it's already amazing thenightetc: oh my god caffienatedconfetti: POOOOOLLLY Zephra85: I would have no desire to touch and put my mouth near a dead bird caffienatedconfetti: you can't prove you didn't do that with starscream's corpse caffienatedconfetti: WAAAAAKE UP caffienatedconfetti: SLAP Zephra85: EX PARROT caffienatedconfetti: he's so bitish i love him thenightetc: But... how. caffienatedconfetti: because caffienatedconfetti: oh dear thee goes the fourth wall Zephra85: the fourth wall is overrated caffienatedconfetti: why this caffienatedconfetti: why thios so good caffienatedconfetti: GET ON WITH IT Zephra85: classic caffienatedconfetti: 10000/10 Knockout: Beautiful. Knockout: A much better note to end on. caffienatedconfetti: think of it as my way of making up for my crimes caffienatedconfetti: noiw if you'll excuse me caffienatedconfetti: my bed is calling my name thenightetc: Goodnight! Zephra85: yeah I need to stretch myself out a bit Knockout: Good night. Enjoy a mostly-guilt free sleep! Zephra85: thanks for the stream Knock Out! Zephra85: Say high to the family for me! caffienatedconfetti: oloolololo thanks knockzo Knockout: My pleasure! Thank you for enduring it with me. Zephra85: I feel triumphant that it did not break me caffienatedconfetti: do owls seem less scary now Zephra85: 'Night everybody! caffienatedconfetti: or more scary caffienatedconfetti: because they are, in fact, birbs caffienatedconfetti: heuehehue caffienatedconfetti: lol nvm caffienatedconfetti: just joking around caffienatedconfetti: bedtiiiime caffienatedconfetti: night

[trainerdeijs]

Things i say while drunk

"Ooooohhh a spork...." Opening a box of cinnamon twists "Hey gurl! Let me get your number!!!" Davos from Iron Fist "who's that girl from earlier?" Me, loudly "that's his DICK!!"

[nightglider124]

I'm still not over how cute these two babes were in the movie. Feed me some head canons, m'dear! How does Kory domesticate Dick after they move in together? I'm talkin' bad bachelor habits she's got to do away with! :D

We will never be over it, gurl.

I always imagine Dick would be better than the average guy when moving in with his lady. Like he’s a cool, refined guy but hey. I defo have a few in mind that would so go down.

Constantly telling him to pick his Nightwing uniform up off the bedroom floor.

“Can you eat anything besides cereal?”

She wordlessly hands him his razor when he starts to get even a tiny bit of stubble.

Taking him shopping with her for ANYTHING other than black clothing.

Keeping her up at night with keyboard tapping for cases and she literally starbolts his ass.

WHY IS THE TOILET SEAT UP AGAIN??

“Did you iron the shirt? Go and iron the shirt. X’hal, we’re going to a nice place for dinner.”

He drinks from the milk carton when he thinks she’s not looking but surprise bitch, Kory’s always watching.

“Is it a human custom to pee in the shower?”

He’s only allowed one wall poster in their bedroom and that is his Flying Graysons poster which Kory said would go and stay up without question.

“It doesn’t count as cooking dinner if you ordered it from a menu.”

He tells her he’ll clean whilst she’s training the Titans and flips his shit when he gets a call, she’s on her way home and he hasn’t moved from the sofa.

“No we cannot ‘have fun’ on the balcony!… okay, just once.”

What even are these XD I can so imagine them being the typical couple who live together. It’s kinda both your questions tied in together.

I really hope this is what you meant XD

Bonus: Cute things they’d do that just scream domesticated lovebirds.

Movies nights and popcorn with plenty of butter.

Cooking a gourmet meal with peppers and all the good shit whilst dancing around like the losers they are

Singing together when they’re hovering and/or doing the dishes.

Eating so much that they sit on the sofa with their stomachs out, groaning and just being lazy together.

Massages after a difficult mission

Taking it in turns to do breakfast in bed.

Taking a bath together with scented candles ~Mmm!

Leaving little sticky notes for each other on the mirror or lamp or tv etc

Reading together and holding hands like in “Up”

Watching the traffic and stars at night out their front windows. (dey huge windows did ya see em’)

Pack each other lunches for their day

Staying wrapped up in bed together on Sunday afternoons just cuddling and kissing.