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ash5monster01 · 6 months ago

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One’s Hour Has to Come

Dead Poets Society Fic

Summary: A story in which you walk through the timeline of each of the Poet’s deaths and how they faced their end and experienced their lives in all endeavors.

word count: 13.4k

Masterlist

1959

The first time any of the boys experienced a funeral that actually affected them, they were only sixteen turning seventeen. Too young to ever know the unforgiving cold heart of death and how in just seconds it could turn your entire life around. It was seared into each of their brains. How it had snowed that day, how the women cried, how heavy the casket was on each of their shoulders as snow crunched beneath their feet, how the roses already started to wilt due to the cold.

They had lost a friend, a companion, and worst of all someone their age. It was a wake up call, a notion that life wasn’t as dependable as they thought. That at any moment anything could possibly happen to change that. Life wasn’t guaranteed and the timeline was unknown. Hadn’t that been what Keating had talked about this whole time? To make much of time and experience it as one should. So how come his teachings had played a part in the very death of their friend? It may have not been the reason but now that each of them were aware, it already started to feel like the time was running out.

Neil Perry was an irreplaceable soul in a world of people who wasted the hours away. So as each of the boys faced the question of ‘why him?’, they realized death didn’t pick and choose. It was required and could not be changed or erased. Whether you were a saint or devil incarnate, your time was your time, and nothing could get in the way of that. Neil was only on this earth for a mere 17 years and that had to be enough, even if it felt like it didn’t. It had to mean something or the world wasn’t as each of the boys had thought. The world was cruel and unforgiving and happiness could be crushed at any moment. So as they faced the death of their friend together, mourned and lost, they realized one day it would be their turn, and there was no telling when.

1968

Nine years. That was all it took. Barely even a decade before the group had to face another death. Pitts often wondered what it was like for Charlie the day Neil died. The thoughts going through his head as he set his sadness to the side in order to inform all of them. Pitts figured he would never have the answers to these questions until the telegram in his hand trembled. His mind hadn’t caught up with his heart yet. His body reacting as if it had just experienced deep trauma, which in a way it did.

Gerard Pitts,

The Secretary of War desires me to express his deep regret that Sergeant Steven Meeks was killed in action on Thirty January 1968 in South Vietnam. This confirms personal notification made by a representative of the secretary of the army Major General, USA F48 Adjutant General.

He wasn’t sure what to think at first. He hadn’t seen Meeks since they had graduated from Yale, he had briefly heard he had been drafted but what he never expected was this. This meant Meeks had listed him in his emergency contacts and now on this very day he had to face exactly what Charlie had too. So dropping the telegram from his trembling hand he reached for the rolodex in search of numbers he prayed would still reach each of the boys despite it having been years since contact.

That was how they had all ended up here, in a stuffy church among the pews that they once found unbearable in their formative years. The wooden seats have provided nothing but stiff backs and unwarranted lectures in discipline. Now Pitts liked the feeling of it, the pain reminding him that this moment was real as he sat beside Meeks’ parents, who were now worn with age. Mrs. Meeks red hair had now started to fade into white and Mr. Meeks face had begun to sink in. Pitts briefly wondered if that's what Meeks would have looked like if he had made it to old age. He hated that there wasn’t more family here to grieve, just the three of them, yet when each of the Poets walked through the door the weight on his shoulders lifted more and more.

Todd had been able to take off of work a few days, leaving his third graders behind with a substitute teacher. He had really come into his own in college and found a love for teaching, but preferred kids much younger. When you're a kid the world is much less daunting and people are much more forgiving, he wasn’t sure he was ready to take on the responsibility of influential teenage minds. The best he could do was teach them young and hope they did what was best as they grew.

Charlie, now as influential as his father in the business world, left behind the big city and stocks, driving somewhere other than Wall Street to send off a friend. You could smell success on him from the perfect cut of his suit and the expensive fabric. All with a dainty brunette tucked against his arm, the boy had made something of himself whether he wanted to or not. It was comforting to see, not knowing how the boy would end up after he had been expelled.

As for Knox, much to no one's surprise, he came with a still just as beautiful Chris by his side. He had taken over his fathers firm right after college and had been doing well for himself since. He was living the life he always dreamed of having, you could see it in his eyes with the way he looked at the one year old boy in Chris’ arms. They had been married right after college and before he got busy with the firm, it just made sense that babies were on the way. They had eloped, mainly to avoid an over the top wedding provided by his parents, and after their anger subsided they started to live a beautiful life together.

What shocked everyone the most was to see Cameron walk through the door. Still just as awkward as he was as a teenager, slipping into a pew in the back as if not to be seen. He wasn’t even sure himself what brought him to come today. He hadn’t seen Meeks since High School graduation nor heard from him. He was shocked to hear the boy was even in the war let alone lost his life to it. Something deeper though, more important than even him or the other poets drew him here today and if he was anything, he was a man of deep respect. These were guys he grew up with and it was important to offer his condolences, at least to him.

In front of them the Pastor starts to speak, a casket covered by an American flag in the front of the room and Pitts can't bring himself to believe that his friend was now inside of there. His body had been shipped back for the funeral and was to be a closed casket for undisclosed reasons. Whatever Pitts imagined made him sick anyway. Steven Meeks, the army hero, who would've thought? He never imagined what their funerals would’ve been like but if you had asked him years ago, the last response he ever would've had was a military funeral.

When the crowd leaves the church to go to the gravesite, the majority of the boys have found themselves in tears. Todd stands beside Charlie and Knox, their wives behind them as they watch them lower the casket in the ground. Todd flinches when the rifles go off for the Three-volley Salute. This brings Charlie to wrap an arm around his shoulders, tears in Todd’s eyes matching his own. After they all walk through to drop roses on the casket, the group finds themselves off to the side, sharing a moment alone in the memory of their friend.

“Long time no see fellas’ Charlie is the first to say, a prideful arm still wrapped around Todd and his wife. Knox brings himself to smile softly, cradling the small boy in his arms.

“Been too long” he agrees and Pitts finds himself reaching for the child, long fingers grazing along his hairline. It was so odd to him that there could be something so young and safe from the dangers of the real world, that this child was starting on the path of a lifetime with an unwritten ending.

“Clearly, you have a kid” Pitts chuckles, glancing up at Chris who held the same features as the small boy in Knox’s arms. He liked that there was hope for the short lifetime you were given, that you could be with your one true love and live a happy life.

“I did, everyone meet Johnny” Knox offered up his arms, showing off the boy who was just starting life at a gathering over the end of a life. Pitts found tears rimming his eyes just at the thought of how much Meeks would've loved to meet him.

“Hi Johnny” Todd smiled, face a mix of happiness and sadness. He had become quite fond of young life after years of teaching and to see Knox, who once was young, now holding him was unreal.

“Like Keating?” Charlie said with a nod, half question and half matter of fact and Knox smiled as he removed an arm from the child to wrap around Chris.

“Yeah, like the Captain. The man who made me confident enough to chase after the girl of my dreams. Little Johnny wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him” Knox confirms and Todd steps out of the grasp of Charlie who had oddly taken over the role of Neil, making sure Todd was well looked after. He got a phone call once every two weeks, a lot like a mother hen, just making sure he was still alive.

“Can I hold him?” Todd asks and Knox smiles, immediately offering up the young boy to his meek and quiet friend. Todd carefully accepted the child into his arms, tucking him against his chest and admiring the softness of his skin.

“Meeks would've been just as surprised you actually had a kid” Pitts suddenly says and the group freezes, almost not expecting any of them to actually bring up the reason why they were all here.

“I didn’t even know he was drafted” Knox whispers, ignoring Pitts statement and nods came from each of the boys amongst the group. Charlie had once tried writing to him but had never received a letter back, he just assumed he may have had the wrong address. He had no idea the boy was off at war when the majority of them had been able to avoid the draft due to money or ineligibility.

“Couldn’t avoid it, he was a radio operator in the field. Doesn’t surprise me that Steven would be able to make a radio work and contact people in the middle of the jungle” Pitts says with a teary laugh and the boys let this sink in, picturing their small red headed friend in army green and deep in the woods fighting a war none of them could truly comprehend.

“He was too smart for his own good” Charlie says with the shake of his head, remembering all those school years where Meeks had practically carried him on his back though the classes he struggled in.

“He would've been glad we were all here, even Cameron '' Todd says, eyes never leaving the bright blue ones of baby Johnny, because of this he doesn't see how his sentence makes each of them stiffen. Things with Cameron never got smoothed over and they all went their separate ways. Pitts wasn't even sure why he called him, some deeper force out there brought him to do it.

When no one responds, Todd finally lifts his head to see each of the boy's eyes cast on the red haired boy who was talking to Meeks parents. It was odd seeing him all these years later. He hadn’t really changed, he was just a touch taller and his eyes weren’t as bright as they once were. That much is true when his head turns to spot each of them, a tight lipped smile crossing his face before turning and walking off in the opposite direction.

“Feels like a lifetime ago” Knox mutters, not really needing to explain his reasoning for the sentence. Cameron had always been uptight but he was once one of them. A young and innocent kid who thought the entire world was his oyster. They were all going to conquer it together until it all fell apart.

“It’s nice, that he came” Charlie says with a cough, eyes darting to his wife in order to avoid eye contact with any of the boys who are shocked by this sentence. Charlie had never had anything nice to say about Cameron, they’d just have to chalk it up to grief over Meeks.

“It’s nice that you all came” Pitts says and the group smiles at him, a sadness in each of their eyes as it finally settled that Meeks was really and truly gone. Charlie is the first to usher them into a group hug, one that each of them welcomes as they accept the embrace of friends they hadn’t seen in a longtime.

“We always will”

1980

Charlie dreamed of the day he would finally receive a letter from John Keating. With how quickly both him and Keating had been booted from school he was never able to find a way to contact him. He had spent many years exhausting searches for a man that more than likely returned to his life in London, too far for a young boy in the 60’s to ever discover. So he gave up, he met his wife, worked hard at his job, and raised his two kids. So when he opened the mailbox one morning, he never expected to see a letter marked with multiple postage stamps, a return address scribbled on the side of a Keating in London. He never moved so fast, rushing inside in search of his letter opener in order to read the first words he’ll ever hear from Keating after all these years.

Dear Charles Dalton,

I’m writing to you on behalf of my husband John Keating who had once teached you for a few brief months back in 1959. I regret to inform you that my husband passed away due to a cancer called Hodgkin's Lymphoma that has been slowly eating away at his life. I want you to know that he did not die in vain and that he was very happy with the life he lived before it was taken from him. He always loved you boys and he never stopped thinking about you once. Up until the very end he would share stories of the best students he had ever taught. Please do not resent him for the distance that he has kept all these years. Despite how much I assured him, he still felt like he took some blame for the death of your friend. Unable to escape that guilt he felt it was best to keep his distance in order to avoid causing anymore harm. My husband was a smart but stubborn man which I am sure you know.

His funeral will be held here in London in a week's time. I know it is short notice but if you’d like to attend or have further questions I’ll leave my number here. Please do reach out, my husband was very proud of each and every one of you and I’d love to get in touch and meet the boys that changed his perspective on a lot of things. He passed very young and had a lot more life to live but thankfully my husband knew how to seize the day and I hope each of you still are too.

Sincerely, Elizabeth Keating

Charlie can’t bring himself to comprehend what he has just read. Tears rim his eyes as he realizes all the possibilities he imagined when opening this letter, not a single one included his death. The death of the very man that single handedly changed his life for the better. He always wished he’d have the opportunity to thank him but now that chance is gone. With his eyes trained on the number written at the bottom of the letter he finds himself picking up the phone and making a call he never thought he’d have to make.

After discussing things with Keating’s wife he went through and called the rest of the poets that he was just realizing now that he hadn’t heard from in almost ten years. He hated that they had all lost touch but that was sadly how life worked. You grew up, moved away, met new people, and as the days go it gets harder and harder to reach out. Charlie didn’t find it hard this time to inform them all of another death yet the part that hurt was how he knew how to do it, He had once broken the news to them all before. When they all agreed to go along with him, Charlie booked the tickets and pretty soon they were off.

Keating’s wife still looked just as she did in the picture that used to be in his room at Welton. Her hair was lighter but she must've still been dyeing it, other than that only a few new wrinkles covered her face. Charlie didn’t expect the tug on his heart when he saw her, especially since he had never met her in person before. For him though, it was the closest he ever got to seeing Keating again which is why he is the first of the boys to pull her in a tight hug.

“We really loved him” he muttered into her shoulder and the small woman slowly rubbed a comforting hand over his back which brought tears to his eyes.

“He loved all of you, the boys that continued his legacy” she fondly says as Charlie pulls back, offering a warm and gentle smile.

“I thought we rather mucked it up” Todd says and Elizabeth turns to see the young blonde boy she could easily recognize from all the descriptions Keating had given her. Yet she supposed he wasn't so young anymore, nearly forty years old now.

“I wouldn't say that, John was quite fond of your book” she tells him and Todd freezes, resembling the quiet boy he once used to be. Todd had never planned to write anything worth reading in his entire life but all these years and nowhere to put his ideas they just fell on a page, as if he had to get them out. The last thing he ever expected was Keating to read it.

“He read it?” Todd asks, voice just as mousy as the seventeen year old boy within him.

“Of course he did. He kept track of all of you. He was quite proud in knowing his young pupils had paved the way of great lives. Todd not only a teacher but author, Charlie the legend of Wallstreet, Knox the head of his own firm, Pitts the successful engineer, and Cameron the strong politician” Elizabeth proudly says, having developed a sense of pride over the boys her husband never shut up about. All four boys follow the gesture of her hand to find once again Richard Cameron among the crowds and Charlie is unable to stop the anger from crossing his face.

“What the hell is he doing here?” he seethes, fists clenching at his side. Meeks funeral was one thing, that was a peer, a friend. This was different, Cameron never liked or understood Keating and was the sole reason blame was put on him when Neil died. If anybody shouldn’t be allowed at the funeral, it was him.

“I invited him” Elizabeth calmly says and each of the boys look to her with shock, confused as to why she would dare do that when she definitely knew it was the boys fault Keating had been fired. Elizabeth laughs lightly at their bewildered faces before deciding to explain. “A few years ago when Cameron first ran for office he found our address and reached out. He apologized to John who never blamed him for what happened. He has been a kind and good friend to us the last few years. It was only right to make sure he would be here today”

“He got to talk to Keating?” Charlie whispers, entire body deflating at the idea Cameron got to speak to him one last time and he never did. It wasn’t fair.

“Keating would’ve liked that we were all here” Pitts says, eyes darting between Cameron and Charlie, just waiting for a reaction he knew they’d have to stop if Charlie got too upset.

“He would, he would've liked seeing how well you all grew too” Elizabeth confirms with a nod and Knox smiles at her, feeling a sense of happiness despite the heavy reason for them all being here.

“My son Johnny, I named him after Keating. I always hoped they’d get to meet one day” Knox tells her and tears well up in the older woman's eyes at the thought.

“How old is he?” she curiously asks, noticing how Charlie still has a glare plastered in the direction of Cameron as he lets the new information sink in.

“Thirteen and he is definitely giving me a run for my money. Especially with his two little sisters” Knox says with a laugh, thinking of the twin girls at home, Clara and Chloe. They were only five and guaranteed neither him or Chris ever got any sleep these days.

“I’d love to hear more about them, in fact I’d love to learn all about each of you” Elizabeth says and the Poets find themselves recognizing Keating in her. That spirit that always made them feel safe.

So that's what they end up doing, they tell her all about their lives and milestones they've experienced over the last few years. Knox explains they waited a while after Johnny to have their girls and now that they had twins it made sense to wait before having anymore. Todd talked about how he just got tenure and still loved teaching third grade. Yet with the safety net surrounding his job he had more time to write now and that was exactly what he did. It all worked out for the best anyway considering the young publisher had caught his eye and they had now been married for four years. Charlie and his wife Emerson waited a few years before having kids, now they had Elijah who was seven and Nell who was five. The young girl named after Neil because from the moment he held her he just knew that she embodied his spirit. He wasn’t sure they’d have anymore kids but he was quite happy with where he was now. As for Pitts he was unmarried and spent the majority of his time dedicating himself to work, yet Elizabeth could see it in his eyes. He hadn’t found a companion yet because he wasn’t looking, he had lost too much.

“I better be off to greet some more guests, thank you so much for coming” Elizabeth says once they've all caught up and the boys smile, bidding her goodbye in various ways as she moves across the room. They had learned Keating didn’t want a stuffy and formal funeral, just a wake where people could mingle and discuss their favorite memories of him. It was interesting to see the differences of the people in the room that the man had touched.

“I’m going to say something to him” Charlie starts, unable to distract himself from the anger held towards Cameron. Yet before he can stomp over there Todd grabs his arm and stops him from making any rash decisions.

“Don’t Charlie, this isn’t high school anymore” he says, voice steady and eyes begging him to not do anything stupid.

“I know but this isn’t right. It isn’t fair that he got to be in contact with Keating all these years and we didn’t. I tried for years to find him and Keating did so much more for us than Cameron. Cameron is the one who wanted to place the blame on him, he didn’t deserve to be the only one who got to talk to him.” Charlie says, the anger turning into tears, words crying out as he practically pleads with Todd to let him go and say something.

“Keating forgave him, Charlie one day you will have to.” Knox tells him and Charlie breaks his arm from Todd’s grasp and wipes away the tears that had streamed down his face. He knows they're right but he hates it, he hates it so much and he hadn’t felt this type of anger since Neil died.

“Let’s pay our respects, '' Pitts says, grabbing his shoulders and guiding him to the casket in the center of the room. It's hard for them to see the face of their old mentor, beat and worn with age. His hair was entirely gray but features were still soft. Charlie always wondered if he’d be able to recognize him if they ever crossed paths and he knew now he would. That Keating hadn’t really changed, not at all, and that fact alone was comforting enough.

“He got old” Charlie snorts, more tears filling his eyes and the boys laugh as they each stand over the casket of a man that meant so much to each of them.

“It’s a nice thought knowing they're all together right now” Todd says looking at his friends with teary eyes and they nod, knowing exactly what he means as they think of their lost friends. Enjoying the very thought they were together and experiencing poetry and freedom in the after life.

“Just like us,” Pitts says, using his large arm span to squeeze the four of them together. The boys smile, now realizing they were depleting in numbers and maybe they don't talk or see each other anymore, but the love was still there. Charlie finds his gaze returning to Cameron one more time who was already watching the four of them say their goodbyes. Cameron slowly moved his hand up in a small wave but Charlie just turned away, not returning the same sentiment and staying in the moment with his friends.

“The way it should be”

2000

The phone that was once in Todd’s hand lays on the ground, dial tone deafening as the words that he just heard continued to ring through his ears. He’s unable to process anything he has just heard, all he knows is that tears are falling out of his eyes and his body hasn’t caught up with the devastation that has just occurred. The last thing he expected when he sat down in his home office was a phone call from anyone, especially Chris Overstreet.

“Todd, it's horrible. He was on his way home, he had just left work. I don't know how it happened. They say it was a drunk driver but it can't be true. He had just called to tell me he was leaving, we have Liam’s soccer game in an hour. I don’t know what to do”

That was when the phone dropped from Todd’s hand, disconnecting him and the blonde girl he hadn’t heard from since the announcement of their son Liam in 1983. He had to be seventeen now. Seventeen, the age they all were when Neil died. Now his father is gone. Hit by a drunk driver at only 59 years old, still half of his life head of him. As soon as these thoughts register he scrambles to pick up the phone and redials the Overstreet number, ready to help wherever he can.

Which is how Todd finds himself on a journey back to Vermont, a series of taxis, trains, and ferry’s, all in order to leave the city and return to a town he hadn’t been in since the day he had graduated. He always wondered how Knox had stayed all these years but as he spots the Fall leaves crumbling off the Vermont trees, he’s reminded of how serene this place really was. It only held bad memories he never wanted to return too, and now sadly he had to add one more. As he stands in the driveway of the Overstreet home he sees geese flying above his head, perfect V formation as they head south for the winter. Todd wishes that was him, flying far far away from here and the sadness he has to face. When the front door opens Chris crumbles to her feet before him and he knows he made the right choice to be here.

A week later after funeral planning and many tears shed, Todd finds himself standing at the front of the chapel next to Chris, Johnny, Clara, Chloe, and Liam. They had all grown so much since he had last seen them. Johnny was thirty three now, was working with his Dad at the firm, and married to a beautiful young girl named Marie. They had a four year old daughter Olivia, and she was adorable in her little dress and small white shoes. It was comforting to know Knox at least got to be a Grandpa, even if only for a short time. Clara and Chloe were twenty five and had been out of college for two years now, they started their own fashion line and had a small boutique in town. Still just as identical, and still a mirror image of Chris when she was that age. As for Liam, he was seventeen, and eerily looked just like his father when Todd had first known him.

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” an older woman tells Chris, Todd's arm wrapped around her as her back shudders with the tears that never seem to stop. That's when he sees Charlie and Pitts greeting young Liam, faces looking an awful lot like his when he realized Liam could be Knox’s twin. You could see it made the young boy uncomfortable, knowing how many people here saw his father in him. Saw the Knox that Todd first got to meet. Charlie had opted to leave the family behind to be there for Pitts who still was unmarried and dedicated to his work. He had designed some of the grandest buildings in the world but still lacked any conviction in his personal life. The boys worried, had tried talking to him even, but Pitts was broken. He gave up on love a long time ago when he lost too many people in his life.

“Chris” Charlie calls out as they make their way down the line of kids and as the blonde girl turns to spot more of Knox’s friends her tears turn to full on weeping, pulling Charlie into a tighter hug then any other guest here.

“I’m so sorry” he whispered to her, hand rubbing up and down her back and trying to keep his eyes off the urn in the center of the room. Chris cried into his shoulder, body shaking harder as Pitts wrapped his arm around them both.

”He really loved you, you know” Charlie tells her as they pull back and she nods, wiping at her eyes which is useless as more tears come.

“He loved you from the moment he saw you” Pitts says with a smile, still remembering that day Knox came back completely smitten over a girl he barely talked to. Chris tries to laugh through her tears but it comes out strangled, any memory of her husband making the crack in her heart grow bigger.

“Thank you for coming guys” Todd tells them and Charlie is quick to wrap the boy in a hug. When Todd had called to tell him the news he wasn’t sure what to think, yet his heart eased when he knew he’d be here for Chris. Once Charlie lets go Todd guides the two boys away to give Chris the space to greet more guests.

“Is the family coming?” Pitts asks Todd, referring to his wife Anne, and their eighteen year old son. Todd wasn’t sure he wanted kids after knowing all the things him and his friends had been through. So he and Anne agreed on one. Not long after that they had a son named Walter and every time Todd looked at him he remembered the quiet boy he once used to be.

“No, Anne had a deadline to meet and Walter had exams at school. My son is a college boy if you could believe it” he tells him and the boys chuckle, Charlie himself knowing all too well how surreal it is to watch you kids grow up. Elijah was twenty seven now and engaged, and Nell was twenty five, fresh out of college and just hired as a big time journalist for the New York Times.

“I can’t actually” Pitts jokes and Charlie and Todd laugh lightly, almost forgetting the heavy reason they were all here. Todd ushers them to the side, allowing more people to shuffle down the line and offer their condolences.

“I saw Cameron is here” Charlie nods, having spotted the boy right away when they walked in the door. Charlie didn’t give him a second glance but Pitts offered a wave, so many years having separated their anger with him now. Charlie still wasn’t entirely over the Keating thing.

“Yeah, I figured he should know and considering he’s been to them all, it seemed only right” Todd tells them, leaving out the part he had a good long chat with the boy who had become Governor of Vermont. Made sense honestly, especially with how much of a rule follower he was back in the day. Cameron had made something of himself and was married with four kids. It was surprising at first but then Todd realized it kind of made sense that Cameron became exactly what he thought he’d be. You had to respect it even if he didn’t let himself enjoy life like he should.

“It’s nice that he comes” Pitts agrees as he spots the once red headed boy who watches them with hope. Dying to talk to them, apologize, reconnect. Yet as Charlie and Todd turn to look in the same direction, their eyes catch another person in the crowd that’s just as surprising.

“Is that Chet Danburry?” Charlie asks, voice a shocked hush and Pitts turns just to confirm that the once meat head boy was now a full grown man with a wife and kids, offering his condolences to his ex girlfriend. The very girlfriend Knox stole from him.

“It is, I never would’ve expected that” Todd says with the shake of his head, watching as Chet guides his family to some seats for the service.

“It’s kinda cool, big of him. Glad to see he isn’t an angry teenager anymore” Pitts smiles, knowing long ago they all cringed at the thought of big ego Chet Danburry.

“Sorry to interrupt boys but the service is about to start. Would you please sit with us?” Chris asks, eyes glimmering with hope and tears. Todd had already planned on it, knowing how much Chris was struggling with the idea that she has to continue to go on and take care of her kids for many years to come, all without the loving support of her husband.

“Of course Chris” Charlie agrees, smiling at the line of kids and legacy that Knox had left behind. Once Chris and her children were sitting in the front row, Todd and the boys shuffled behind and took their seats. Charlie fought tears as he watched Todd squeeze the girl's shoulder to remind her they were right here.

“Sorry, do you mind?” a voice interrupts and the three look up to see Richard Cameron pointing at the open seat beside them. Charlie can’t help but sneer yet Pitts has already shuffled over to allow him to sit.

“Dad would be happy to see you guys here” Johnny turns with a smile, the four year old girl sitting in his lap and offering them a wide grin. When the Pastor sets Knox’s picture on the easel at the front of the room, the little girl reaches to it, soft giggles falling from her lips.

“Papa” she calls out and Chris starts weeping again, Clara wrapping an arm around her in a hug as she cries beside her mother. Tears stream down Pitts face, Charlie reaching over Todd to rub his back as he fights off his own tears.

“Thank you all for coming today to celebrate the life of Knox Overstreet. Husband, father, grandfather, and most of all, friend” the pastor starts, eyeing the large crowd the boy had brought in. Charlie’s own tears break through as it settles in that his old friend is now gone. His friend that once seemed so unwise about life and had become the most successful at it. As the pastor talks the group passes tissues, waiting to see each of the kids stand to give a speech. Johnny was first, smiling out to the crowd of people who also loved his Dad as much as him.

“My Dad was the best, and I’m being serious. He was always there for me. Never said no when I asked to play ball in the yard, always supported me no matter what crazy thing I told him I wanted to do next. He always let me borrow the car, and was there anytime I struggled at work. He never let life or his job slow him down. If I wanted a treehouse, he’d build it. It didn’t matter that he had no idea how to use the tools and that very treehouse had fallen down a day later with him in it. He just wanted to make sure I was happy. Thing was, he never had to worry about that because I was already the happiest kid for having him as my Dad” Johnny laughs lightly to himself, thankful he had gotten so many years from the man he admired so much. “He will forever be the greatest loss of my life but at least I got to be loved by him, if only for a short time” Chris is in tears, watching her oldest son mourn the loss of her father, trying to manage her sadness and all of her kids' own. As Johnny leaves the stage he smiles at his two younger sisters who stand to take his place.

“Our Dad could never keep up with us” Chloe started, a light smile on her face as the crowd laughed. “The good thing was at least he tried”

“He never got mad when we would try to switch places and confuse him. One time we even switched at school so Chloe could take a test for me. He was more impressed than anything” Clara adds, smiling at her sister with misty eyes. The crowd laughed again, the majority of them knowing that was exactly something Knox would do.

“He did his best. He came to every tea party, let us cover his face in makeup, we even got him in a pink tutu once. He was the best at playing Barbie’s and told the greatest bedtime stories. Most people in life aren’t lucky enough to have even one great parent and somehow we got two. Two parents who loved each other more than anything, well maybe except for us.” Chloe is in tears now, words croaking out as she struggles to get them past the tears. Clara wraps an arm around her sister, struggling to keep her emotions at bay as well.

“We could only hope that one day we get to see him again, dance on his feet like we’re little girls again and laugh when he’d tickle us both. If we had known the last time we saw him was going to be the last, we’d have hugged him just a little bit tighter” Clara finished for them and the two young blonde girls are hugging in front of everyone, tears streaming down. Not a dry eye in the building, attending the funeral of a man who left this earth way too soon.

As Liam ascends the stage Todd recognizes his body language, mirroring his own when he was that age. A fear buried deep in his gut as he looks out to the intimidating crowd of people he now has to share his sadness with. When he catches Todd’s eye in the crowd, he gives him a nod to reassure him, reminding him that this was for his Dad and nobody else.

“My Parents would never admit it but I was an accident” the crowd laughs despite Chris’ mortified face, yet the giggles from her other children quickly reassure her. “It's true, and it's okay. I know most people who have already had three kids and are in their forties don’t normally have more. Despite all of that, my father never wanted me to feel any less than my siblings. I knew he was tired, he was just beginning to move a little bit slower. The thing about my Dad though was he never stopped trying. He came to every game, helped with my homework every single night, reminded me it was okay to be sad” the boy's head dropped as a fresh wave of sadness washed over him.

“The worst thing about all of this, is he would be the only person in the world able to comfort me during this, and he isn’t even here. What happened to us is unfair but it’ll get easier. It won’t always hurt this bad and that’s because I had a Dad that showed me it was okay to have a big heart. I got to love him with all of mine just as he loved me, and because of that I’ll forever get to keep him in here” the crowd watches as Liam holds a hand to his heart, tears rimming his eyes and Todd finally breaks out in a sob he is unable to stop. He had told himself he’d be strong but to see someone who reminded him so much of himself at that age struggling with heartbreak just as he did, he couldn’t help but cry.

The boys turn to face him, memories of the very day they watched Todd breakdown coming back. It was so long ago now that sometimes it felt like a dream, but the old man beside them now looked seventeen years old all over again in the face of grief. Charlie hugs him tightly, crying into his shoulder as he offers any comfort he can. Liam descends the stage just as Pitts grabs onto the both of them too. Cameron reaches a hand out, nearly an inch from touching them but he freezes in place, remembering that it had been a long time since they ever sought any comfort from him at all. With a heavy heart he drops his hand and allows the boys to grieve on their own.

“We're going to offer up the floor to anyone else who wants to speak on Knox’s behalf” the pastor says softly into the microphone, trying his best to accommodate the heavy sadness filling the room.

“I’m going to say something” Todd says suddenly, wiping his tears as the two boys release their hold on him so he can stand. They watch with worrisome looks as he navigates himself past Pitts and Camerons legs just to move to the stage in the front of the room. Todd uses the pedestal to ground himself as he faces the large crowd of people that once would have froze him with fear. If only Keating could see him now.

“For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Todd Anderson. A lifetime ago I attended high school with Knox at Welton. Yes he was just as big hearted and goofy then, he just wasn’t as cool about it,” laughs come from the crowd and it gives Todd the confidence to keep going.

“When we lost our dear friend Neil, Knox took me under his wing. We even roomed together our senior year. He was there for me in ways I never would've imagined when I first met him all those years ago. You could say he once took care of me just as he did his kids. I loved Knox like family and that's why I’m here with them today.” Todd offers Chris a smile who returns it with a puffy red face covered in tears.

“We once had a teacher who taught us about Carpe Diem. In latin, that means seize the day. Some of us took that seriously and others not so much, but Knox, he wouldn't have had this beautiful life if it wasn't for that very lesson. The idea of seizing the day brought him to call Chris for the very first time, I should know because I was standing right there. In every moment after that he seized every opportunity he could when it came to love and life. He married Chris, the girl of his dreams, and got to raise a beautiful family. I’m going to miss my friend more than anything but there is something awfully beautiful about knowing there is more of him in this world and he’ll get to continue on in many generations to come” Todds eyes are glassy from the tears but the smile he offers Chris and her beautiful children is nothing short of genuine. In this moment they feel closer to him than ever, knowing there were still people here who knew their father in the intimate way they all did. He was always telling them about the good old days and it was nice knowing there were still people here that could talk about them.

“Thank you Todd” Chris mouths as he descends the stage and Todd nods in acknowledgment, slowly returning to his seat where his friends greet him with prideful pats to the back.

“Knox would have loved that” Pitts tells him and Todd smiles, looking at the picture of their lost friend. Another Poet passed on to a different life and Todd hopes that whatever is out there after death includes something as beautiful as them all being together again. What a comforting thought it was to think that in the next lifetime and others after that, they would all find each other once more.

“All of them would have”

2007

Charlie sits at his desk at work, readers resting low on his nose, as his eyes scan the computer in front of him. It was odd to think that when he first started in this business, computers weren’t even a thought, and now the entirety of his job relied on it. He hated to admit that it confused him, practically deeming him an old man in mockery. It made sounds and showed things he couldn’t even begin to comprehend. Just as it dings again, a new sound he hadn’t heard before, he groans out in frustration, ready to just give up and call it quits.

“Mr. Dalton, is there something wrong?” his secretary Elise calls from the doorway. Charlie sighs, pulling the glasses from his face to rub a hand down it.

“My computer just dinged and I have no idea what it means” Charlie feels stupid for saying it, remembering when he was once the cool hip guy at work. Apparently berets were long out of fashion and saggy pants were in, who knew?

“It sounded like a Facebook notification sir” Elise said, entering the room and preparing to assist the man because after all, it was her job. Charlie automatically rolled his chair to the side so Elise could save him from whatever mid life crisis he was experiencing. He wished Meeks was still around, he not only would have loved Facebook but he would have at least taught him how to use it.

“Anything important?” he inquired, leaning forward to see she had brought up the profile his wife had made for him around the time Facebook first came out. She claimed it was a good way to reconnect with old friends but so far Charlie had only received one flimsy notification from Hopkins and another from Spaz.

“You have a message sir, from a Mr. Pitts” the excitement of hearing from his old friend nearly has Charlie knocking the girl over as he rolls back in place to see. He quickly guides the mouse over the message button just to see what his old pal had been up to. It had been since Knox’s funeral he had seen him last.

Charlie, I hope this message reaches you since it was the only form of contact I can find. You should know Gerard passed away two days ago from liver failure. He has been a struggling alcoholic for quite a few years now and never wanted you and your friends to worry. His funeral will be held at the end of the month. Please share with whoever else you think would want to know. Thank you for always being a good friend to my son.

“Oh God” is the first words to fall from Charlie’s mouth and Elise realizes this is her cue to exit since whatever Charlie just read, was not good news.

In the next few moments Charlie has Todd on the line, informing him of the message he just received. As the words come out of his mouth he realizes just how real this all was. When Todd finally calms down he tells Charlie he is going to call Cameron and the boy can’t bring himself to sneer in face of the bad news. Letting him off the line he calls his wife next in order to tell her the bad news and that he was expected in Vermont at the end of the month.

For the entirety of the funeral Charlie finds himself more angry than anything. The anger wasn’t directed towards the universe for taking his friend and it wasn’t directed at Cameron who he sadly had to sit next to the entire funeral. The anger was directed at Pitts himself. Charlie had known to an extent that he was struggling. You could tell since the boy never married or made new friends, devoted his entire life to his work until he ran dry. He was angry that Pitts never told any of them and had chased the bottle for comfort instead. That he had sought a drug to heal wounds that it could only worsen. Pitts killed himself, slowly but intentionally and Charlie was angry. Then he was angry with himself for being angry with Pitts when Charlie knew he could've done more to reach out even if he was busy with his wife and kids.

“I wish I had known,” Todd says, eyes cast over the large lake he hadn’t seen since his Welton days. It was pitch black out, only the moon illuminated the black water beneath them. Charlie chuckles dryly, eyeing the bottle of whiskey in his hands that he can’t entirely bring himself to drink under the circumstances.

“You're telling me” he sneers, tipping the liquid back and allowing it to burn down his throat. He reminded himself he never abused the substance and he was free to have a drink while facing the loss of a friend.

“You could've at least shook Cameron's hand” Todd says as he sits beside him, grabbing the bottle and taking a swig himself. Charlie is impressed that the alcohol doesn’t bother him but he supposed there were a lot of things he no longer knew about the boy.

“I was in no state to play nice, even with Cameron” Charlie tells him, accepting the bottle back but not taking a sip quite yet. He trained his eyes on the soft ripples in the water, the way the wind blew them slowly against the shore. He once used to spend hours rowing in this water and now even just the thought hurt his shoulders and knees. He hated that he was getting old, slowing down, losing his friends.

“Did you notice he turned all gray?” Todd asked with a chuckle, remembering just a few hours ago he saw his once red headed friend with fully gray hair. Not even a sliver of the youthful boy that once used to be.

“We all are, I just tell my wife I’m turning blonde. It also doesn't help that he’s a politician” Charlie says with a smirk even though he hates the wrinkles on his face and the deep bags under his eyes that never went away. Sometimes when he looked in the mirror he could picture Nolan and that thought made him angrier than anything.

“I suppose that's better than getting old” Todd agrees and Charlie sighs, head tipping up to glance at the stars that somehow seem brighter tonight. Brighter than they ever were in all the years he lived here. Tears burn at the back of his eyes as he thinks about his friends.

“I hate that he did this to us” Charlie mutters, chin trembling at the admission and Todd is surprised to see the sadness within his friend. He’s quick to wrap an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close into his side.

“He was struggling, Charlie, no more than Neil,” Todd reassures, feeling his own tears building up at the sight of his strongest friend breaking down. Charlie shakes his head, sighing heavily as he leans to rest his cheek against Todd’s shoulder.

“That doesn't matter Todd, he knew how badly Neil's death hurt us and he still did it anyway. All those years, he was all alone and none of us did anything” Charlie cries and Todd feels his own tears seep out as he rests his head on top of Charlie’s.

“We didn’t know and he didn't want us to know. Losing Neil was hard for all of us and he lost Meeks right after. Loss like that can do a lot of things to a person. Pitss tried to go on and we can’t judge him for how he handled it. You have to remember he hid it from us, all those times we saw him” Todd says, his own eyes casting up to the sky to keep the rest of his tears from spilling out. Even he hated that today he had to face his friend's 90 year old Dad and offer his condolences for losing his son after already losing a wife. No parents should outlive their child, even Mr. Perry.

“He deserved more, they all did” Charlie says with a sad sigh, realizing that in this very moment it was just him and Todd. If he was to be honest with himself, Cameron too, and he found himself briefly wishing that he would go before Todd because he wasn’t sure he’d be able to attend that funeral.

“Promise we keep in touch, I don't need you disappearing on me either” Todd says, not caring if he sounds like a sap or some emotionally unstable old man. His friends were lessening in numbers and the only two left on this earth that understood everything he had been through were too distant for his liking.

“I promise, if not for us but for Pitts who deserved so much more than he got” Charlie says and Todd chuckles even though nothing about this is funny. In reality they were just two old men drowning their sorrows in a shared bottle of whiskey by a lake that once felt like a barricade to a life they couldn't escape.

“To making the most out of the rest of it”

2012

He had just celebrated his 70th birthday. That was all Charlie could think as he ended the call with Anne Anderson. Just last week he had called to wish the boy a happy birthday and now he was gone. Lost to a broken heart or in other words a heart attack. The strain of which his latest book had put on him and all those years of teaching. Charlie briefly wondered if the damage had begun to start when Neil had died. Either way he was brought back to the night of Pitts funeral and he realized that his wish didn't come true. Todd had gone before him and now he had to face something he wasn’t prepared for. Being the last poet alive.

Then it suddenly hit him that he wasn’t. The dread that fills his gut instantly makes him feel guilty because this was for Todd. The grudge he had all these years should not be stopping him from doing what was best for his friend. So much to his dismay he went into the contacts on his phone, doing exactly as his daughter Nell had taught him when he got this dreaded Iphone. He still remembered when you had to spin a dial just to make a phone call and now something as small as this could fit in your pocket and be with you on the go. If only these had been around when he had received a phone call from God.

“Hello” the sadly familiar voice picked up and Charlie scowled before loosening his shoulders and responding into the phone.

“Hey Cameron, it’s Charlie” he muttered and the worn down man quickly perked up because he knew what this meant. There was only one thing in the world that could get Charlie Dalton to call him.

“What happened?” he instantly asked, tears already flooding his eyes. He’s brought back to the very first time he ever saw Todd, how he called him a stiff. He suddenly cringes at the memory.

“Heart attack, Anne said it was a long time coming” Charlie said, suddenly reminded of the very reason he was having this phone call. He had lost Todd, they had lost Todd, and none of it was right. Todd deserved to be here longer, he had more reason to be here longer.

“Jesus,” Cameron said, falling back into his seat. Charlie stayed silent, letting him process the very thoughts he still hadn't come to terms with. Todd was an unexpected friend. They all may have not known him as long but he had been there ever since. In a way he was the last piece of a puzzle that made them all feel close to Neil. That’s when Charlie realizes the two are together again. At least that was a comforting thought during this har time.

“Anne said the services will be held next week, I can text the information as soon as I have it” Charlie whispers, trying to imagine Cameron sad. It was hard considering the two barely knew each other anymore. At one point in time this was the guy he slept in the same room with for years. The last time he saw him was when Neil died and even then his vengeful actions covered up the sadness pretty well. The only time Charlie ever saw him since then was at funerals and even then Cameron was tough as stone, never breaking down like any of the boys had. Face as still as a painting in a museum.

“Thank you Charlie, thanks for calling me” Cameron brings himself to say and Charlie feels seventeen all over again, innocent and excited to be in the real world. If he had known it was this sad, he might've stayed a kid a little longer.

“Yeah, sure” Charlie says before muttering a goodbye and hanging up the phone. As he drops the device on his desk his eyes catch the old black and white photo. The gold frame is a stark contrast to the pale faces of the young boys who had no idea what was to come. Despite the fact none of them had ever stayed that close it was heartbreaking to know that all but two were still alive. He once used to look at this picture and only miss Neil, but now, he yearned for all of them. As much as he hated to admit it, a small part of him yearned for Cameron too.

When the day of the funeral comes Charlie finds himself in the back of a taxi alongside his wife Emerson. He’s wearing the same suit he wore for Pitts funeral and he hates that this had now become his death suit. This was the suit he made Todd promise him to go first in and now here he was saying goodbye to him too. The brunette girl shuffled closer to him in the backseat, streaks of gray now filling her hair. They sadly were getting old too.

“Are you okay?” She curiously asks and Charlie offers a weak smile, one she knew well after all these years. She fell for a prideful man but even the happiest of them all had to fake it sometimes.

“I will be” he tells her honestly and she nods, curling her hand into his own and feeling the sadness pour out of him. She had only seen Charlie beam a few times in her life. When she said yes to marriage, their wedding, the birth of their kids, and whenever he talked about the Dead Poets Society. She knew that a loss like this cut deep.

When they pulled up outside of the funeral home Charlie saved face and helped his wife out. He watched as many people passed and entered the building. He briefly wondered who each of them were. It was odd to him that he once knew all the same people Todd did and now every single one of these people was a stranger.

Anne has him pulled into a hug the minute he finds her inside. Crying softly against him and muttering condolences as if Charlie had lost something more than her. Charlie once used to be an important person in Todd’s life but now none of it compared to her. The only girl Todd ever loved. The only person Todd ever loved since Neil. “I’m sorry Annie”

”Hey, don’t be. It’s life and the doc had been telling us for a while his heart wasn’t good” she assures Charlie as she steps back from the hug but Charlie can see the heavy sadness in her eyes, the desperation for her husband. Now he was wishing he would go after Emerson because he never wanted her to wear this look.

“Where’s Walt, is he doing okay?” Charlie curiously asks as Emerson pulls Annie into a brief hug, offering her own condolences. The blue eyed girl smiles and nods her head to the side. Charlie turns to find the spitting image of Todd standing beside a young red headed girl, accepting condolences from other guests.

“He’s holding up, that’s his fiance Ariana. She’s been a big help during this whole process” Anne catches them both up and Charlie wraps his arm around his wife’s shoulders, remembering a time he was once young and flaunting off his beautiful fiancé.

“He’s so grown” Charlie tells her and Anne nods, smiling at her only child who hopefully pretty soon would make her a Grandma. Yet the excitement wasn’t entirely there now knowing there wouldn’t be a Grandpa by her side.

“Walter, come say hi to your Uncle Charlie” and the man’s chest constricts as Anne calls him this, suddenly feeling like the worst person alive for never actually getting close with the kid. The kid who was now thirty years old, much expired from the lessons he once learned at seventeen.

“Hey, thank you so much for coming.'' The boy approached, a smile on his face and Charlie realized just how tall he was, most definitely taking after the bigger side of the Anderson family. He had to have been taller than Todd even.

“Of course, I loved your father like a brother” Charlie nods, feeling the tears coming to his eyes again and Walter chuckles at this sentence because if there was one thing he knew about his father, it was how much he loved all of them.

“Yeah I know, he never shut up about you guys” Walter says and Charlie smiles, head tipping back to avoid the fall of any stray tears. Of course Todd would be the one to continue their legacy, even if the rest of them grew old and got distracted. Todd would always be back in that Welton classroom.

“That’s good to know, especially since there was once a time I couldn’t get Todd to talk” and everyone laughs despite the sadness surrounding them. Two families who had all faced loss and somehow still had each other, even if only briefly.

“Here, I actually wanted to give you this, '' Walter says, letting go of his fiance's hand to rush over to a small table. The group watched as he dug into a bag there, pulling out a stack of white papers and moving back towards them. “It’s a printed copy of Dad’s book. He had just finished it the day before. I’m pretty sure he wrote it for all of you”

“Walter this is so kind, thank you” Charlie says, ready to cry all over again for something entirely different. Walter smiles and nods, knowing that Charlie and his Dad once shared the same sadness and that things like this could be so healing.

“We better find our seats, we’ll catch you after” Anne says, grabbing her sons arms and offering the pair a smile. Charlie and Emerson bid their goodbyes, watching as they moved into the mass of people. Once they're out of sight Charlie looks at the first draft of the book in his hands. It was heavy and for a moment Charlie pretended it was Todd’s hand in his own, bidding him one last goodbye. Slowly he flips the pages until his eyes finally catch something worth stopping for.

For my friends, the Dead Poets Society. My life wouldn’t be what it is without any of you. I once thought no one would understand me and in the end I found six people who did. The powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse. Thank you for being a part of mine.

A tear drops on the page, soaking through the paper and Charlie finds himself unable to stop, staring at the black ink. The last thing Todd would ever say directly to him. It was as if he had known. Charlie hates he wasn’t there to say goodbye to him.

“I’m really going to miss him,” Charlie says, tears streaking down his face. Emerson gives a pressed smile, wrapping an arm around his waist as she watches her husband grieve. She didn’t need to see what Todd had written to know it struck deep with him.

“I know baby, I know” she comforts and Charlie is quick to wipe his eyes, tucking the book close to his chest. When his vision clears he spots Cameron across the room, already looking at him with a sad stare. For a moment Charlie allows his eyes to lock with his own, looking on with no anger or resentment. This time he looked at Cameron with understanding and peace. Cameron stays frozen, waiting for any possible reaction from his old friend, desperate to grieve alongside him. Acknowledge they shared the same sadness. Slowly Charlie offers him the smallest of smiles in which the boy quickly returns. Comforted by the fact that after all these years Charlie had finally accepted him as he was.

“Let’s go find our seats” Charlie urges his wife and Emerson nods, glancing at the man her husband just stared down. If she was correct, that was Richard Cameron, and her husband had just communicated with him in a way she would never understand. They shared a moment meant to be healing for them both.

Charlie and Cameron may always be opposite sides of the same coin but they shared one thing in common that would always tie them together. They once were just boys together.

2033

Cameron hates the way his hands shake as he tries to read the morning paper at the kitchen table in the morning. The very hands in front of him looked nothing like they once did. He wouldn't even recognize them anymore. He was an old man, a lifetime beneath his belt and not many more years ahead. All he had was this old rickety house that he once raised his kids in. Now they were off raising his grandkids and for some reason he was still here, waiting to join his wife in heaven.

As he flips the age of the newspaper he finds he's reached the obituary section. Faces old and young littering the page, people who lived lives just as interesting as his own. It’s when his stare falls on a familiar set of eyes does he freeze completely. The picture is of an old man, that much was abundantly clear, but they were the eyes of a child. Very eyes he had looked into a hundred times in his life that always held a freedom Cameron never understood. A childlike wonder he yearned for even as he got older.

Charles Dalton, 1941-2033. Loving husband, father, grandfather, and friend. Charles Dalton is a proud alum of Welton Academy and Columbia University. He went on to become a very successful businessman, a proud member of Wall Street. He passed on Thursday December 15th surrounded by friends and family. Services will be open to the public on December 23rd. He is survived by his two kids and their families.

Cameron sucks in a sharp breath as he rereads the date one more time. Seventy four years ago to the day Neil Perry had passed. Cameron's eyes darted around the page, much faster than his body was these days. He wonders if it means something, if the universe had connected to the two still after all of these years. He once used to be jealous of the friendship the boys shared and the fact they had spent over seventy years without each other and still had a bond stole his breath away.

Cameron finds his heart stuttering in his chest, trying to comprehend the tears that are coming to his eyes at the realization that washes over him completely. For the first time since 1959 he realizes what a fool he had been. He knew he was somewhat wrong, had accepted the blame, but suddenly all these years later it just clicked. Life wasn’t all about following the rules and leading a path of success. It was about love and friendship, feeling free and tied to the world in unexplainable ways. All these years doing what was thought of him and never enjoying it the way he should.

“God dammit Charlie, you were right” he mutters through his tears as he drops the trembling newspaper down. He no longer wanted to be reminded he was old now, a shell of the boy he once used to be. A stubborn boy who just now at 92 years old realized there was so much more life to live.

When the revelation began to wear off Cameron finally decided to attend the funeral. It didn't matter he now had a cane and every step he took hurt. It didn't even matter that he looked nothing as he once did as a boy. Charlie was the one poet that would have sacrificed everything for them, in a way he did. It was Cameron’s turn to be there for him, especially as the last remaining member of the Dead Poets Society.

“Dad, let me help you” Violet, his youngest daughter of four kids, scolds him as he attempts to get out of the car himself. She was in her 50’s now and the only child of his still willing to help him get around, even if her own kids were now in college.

“I’m fine Vi, I once was nimble” he tells her, trying to muster as much arm strength as he could to pull him out. He doesn't miss the roll of her eyes or the ‘not anymore’ she mumbles under her breath. He lets her hook under his arm just as he gets close to up right and smiles at the big church in front of him. Only Charlie could manage one of the grandest buildings in the city and have it opened to his adoring public. Cameron was just thankful he was never famous.

“This friend of yours was a popular guy” Violet mutters as they approach the church steps, taking them slowly up to a line of the recently deceased family. Cameron’s heart races for something entirely different then old age.

“Thank you for coming” an older boy says when they get to the top and Cameron reaches his trembling hand to shake his own. For a moment it feels like Charlie and he pulls away quicker than intended.

“Of course, Charlie was my roommate many moons ago” Cameron says and suddenly their eyes light up. Cameron hopes it isn’t from terrible stories Charlie had shared of him over the years.

“Cameron right? Back in his days at Welton” one of the older girls says and Cameron nods, shaking her hand as well.

“That would be me, and you are?” he inquires, desperate for a glimpse into the life of a boy he once knew like the back of his hand. A hand he no longer recognized as his own, many years between it and the days it once knew Charlie.

“I’m Nell, and this is my husband Robbie” she says, arm reaching to hook around another gentleman beside them. ‘This is my older brother Elijah and his wife Diane. Our kids are around here somewhere. It hasn’t been easy for them, they really loved their Grandpa” Cameron realizes the boy that had greeted him was a direct extension of Charlie. It was no wonder his hand had reminded him so much of days as teenage boys. He takes a moment to soak them in, noting the features that had to have been Charlie’s and the features that were definitely his wives. “This is my youngest daughter Violet”

“Nice to meet you” Elijah smiles, shaking her hand and Camerons heart clenches in his chest, wishing Charlie was here to see their kids together. Versions of themselves they once used to be.

“I was so sorry to hear of his passing” Cameron brings himself to say and they smile at him, comforted by the fact there was someone still here who knew him as intimately as they did. Someone his age still carrying life lessons that he did.

“He was too. You know our Dad. Always claimed he’d go out with some big bang, a great ending like James Dean. He was so disappointed to know it was as an old man in a bed surrounded by his family” Nell says with a chuckle, still able to see her father so full of life and so loud. It used to embarrass the hell out of her how outgoing he was and now it was all she yearned for in the face of his loss.

“If I knew anything about Charlie he didn’t mind that at all. He was happy to know he had great kids and people who truly loved him as he went out” Cameron says, smiling softly at each of them even though the majority of his face had sunken in with age. “Charlie was good at talking straight out of his ass”

“Now isn't that the truth” Elijah laughs along with him and Cameron laughs hard enough for it to lead into a cough. Violet rubs his back as the group calms.

“You guys got a good man for a father, I always wanted to be him” Cameron says and they smile, knowing this is most likely a statement their father did not get the privilege of hearing. Cameron smiles anyway, happy the Dalton line would continue to live on when he once wished he could remove it from the world.

“Thank you, he really would have appreciated you being here” Nell tells him, knowing he needs to hear it, a deep sadness surrounded by regret clear as day on his face.

As Cameron steps into the church he vows to not waste another day, even if there isn't many left. He’s going to make the most of life and not when he comes to die discover he had not lived. For the first time in seventy years he understands the true meaning of Carpe Diem, seizing the day. For the first time in his life he was actually going to do it. The only thing was he wished the Dead Poets were by his side to finally see it.

Charlie most of all.

2035

Two years. That was all he got out of a lifetime finally living his life the way he wanted. Cameron passed away as an old man with a big beautiful family and an honorable career. He made his life exactly the way he wanted and in the end died with only one regret. That he did not seize every opportunity at its fullest.

A funeral was held for not many people to attend. For he was one of the last people his age to die. So the service was not surrounded by loving friends or thankful peers. It was a memoriam for his kids and the people he passed his legacy onto. None of them would know him for the Dead Poets Society or have no idea what it had entailed.

They had become lessons lost to a lifetime, ones lived in various different ways. Cameron had decided during those two years that if he was not capable of seizing the day, his blood line would. He shared these lessons with his kids and their kids and hoped there was still some chance for them yet. To not lose the people closest to them. No one should watch all their friends die and in the end find themselves with regret. Cameron would always have that, a deep sadness that out of everyone he was the only one to waste it and live the longest.

On his last day all he could think of was Neil. The one out of all of them who deserved the long and successful life. Cameron had lived triple the amount of lifetimes the boy did and yet he was still the biggest part of him that came to him in his final moments. Neil may not be remembered anymore, a flicker of a lifetime that once existed long ago. A boy who faced tragedy in just a few short months. He had deserved to live but life was not that fair. Neil was survived by each of them and that was all there was to offer.

Poets who found successful careers, made families, legacies, and shared the knowledge of living life the way it should be. Living life as your own and not as who people want you to be. Boys who once spent their adolescent years in a small cave bursting with big and hopeful dreams. Freedom becoming the very reason for their being. Saved from a life full of resentment and hate. Now survived by lives full of respect and love. They may all be gone now, lost to nothing but memories told through stories they had shared. In the end there was only one thing.

They were now all officially members of the Dead Poets Society.

Taglist: @octaviasdread @jeantjoque @desire-mona @good--merits-accumulated @theluminoussunflower @pencileraser1 @xxselenite @inamagicalhallucination @ionlycareaboutyou @domorebemore

wanted to include my lovely DPS Discord community <3

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ash5monster01 · 2 years ago

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(I hope you don’t mind but this post inspired a little something in me because I live for tropes where each of the poets come to terms with Neil’s death)

Trapped in Time

Warnings: mentions of suicide, depression, grief, light swearing, all around sad, and I’m sorry.

Summary: after Neils death and Graduation the Dead Poets make sure to keep in touch, not wanting to risk losing another. They help each other through the grief and remind each other that the powerful play still goes on. When they discover Todd still struggles they band together to do the same for him.

Each of the Dead Poets found themselves in different places after graduation and college. Despite the distance they never lost touch and in the end it was a good thing. They had a shared life experience, one surrounded by turmoil and trauma. Not many people in the world went through what they did. They saw the light at the end of tunnel but before they could get to it they lost a friend, their teacher, and some of them a school. So when the torture of the future they tried so desperately to avoid came crushing down on them they had each other. The only issue being the distance keeping them from seeing things right away.

Luckily for Todd, Charlie had ended up in the city just like him. Todd kept his quiet persona but was less outspoken which worked in favor with Charlie’s still boisterous personality. Todd became an English professor at NYU and Charlie found himself on Wall Street, a shark in the business, his father no longer deeming him incompetent considering he was now more successful than him. Either way the two ended up having each other, only a 30 minute cab ride from the other’s apartment. They met weekly for dinner or lunch and it was always nice to have a familiar face.

Charlie had been uptown for work. Meeting with investors and attending fancy lunches and dinner shows. Basically kissing ass and praying they’d shake on the deal. He was also bitterly annoyed when he had to cancel lunch with Todd and make plans for dinner. This bothered him because Todd didn’t have any classes today and without Charlie he would never leave the house. Todd still needed to learn how to live a little and Charlie figured it was fate he ended up near him stead of any of the other poets. So Charlie with a permanent scowl walked beside his business partner in the Broadway district, annoyed he sat through an entire play just for the investors to say they were considering a different direction. So here he was stuck uptown, annoyed about work, and disappointed he missed lunch with his best friend for something as stupid as that.

“We didn’t need them anyways Charles, we have other investors” Benjamin, his business partner pried as he tried to keep up with him.

“I know, I’m just annoyed they wasted my time. I enjoy theater but that was torture” Charlie grunted, realizing twenty minutes into the show the investors were freaks and knew nothing about real entertainment.

“Yeah I could’ve gone my entire life without seeing that” he agreed, knowing full well he didn’t understand a damn thing that happened the entire time he watched the play.

“Idiots, all of them” suddenly Charlie stopped, Benjamin practically running in to him from trying to keep up the entire time.

“Woah, why we stopping?” Benjamin caught his balance and moved back from Charlie where he almost knocked him face first to the cement.

“Todd?” Benjamin looked up to see Charlie catching the attention of a blonde gentleman stepping out of the theater.

“Charlie, what’re you doing on Broadway?” Todd meekly asked, the brunette boy approaching him. Charlie assessed the situation, surprised to see Todd out, that was until he looked up at the sign above the theater. A Midsummer Nights Dream.

“I should be asking you the same thing” he said, trying to read any emotions coming from the boy. Todd went to speak but was caught of abruptly.

“Mr. Anderson, you forgot your coat” a theater worker rushed from the doors, holding out his jacket. Todd happily accepted it. “Maybe you wouldn’t forget it if you stayed till the end of the show for once”

“Thank you Margaret” Todd acknowledged her, wincing slightly that he was caught red handed by Charlie.

“Margaret” Charlie stopped the woman from walking away and she turned with a smile. “How long have you been putting on this show?”

“About a month and a half now. Mr. Anderson here enjoys it so much he comes once a week, sometimes twice if we’re lucky” Todd’s shoulders fell and Charlie nodded and thanked her as she disappeared back into the theater.

“Do you want to explain?” Charlie pressed, Todd struggling to make eye contact with him.

“You know I don’t” Charlie sighed, pressing a hand to his face. Benjamin stood confused but patiently waited nonetheless.

“Do you know how bad this looks? Todd why would you do this to yourself?” Charlie wanted to cry. He never ever wanted to relive that night again. To this day it was still the worst 24 hours of his life and here Todd was trying to relive it.

“I don’t know Charlie?! I just do” Benjamin was surprised to hear someone refer to the man as Charlie and not Charles. Sighing Charlie turned to his business partner.

“Head back to the office, let Clarice know to clear my schedule the rest of the day. I have to deal with this” Benjamin nodded, feeling he already peeked to far into Charlie’s personal life than he ever wanted too. With zero hesitation he rushed off, ready to finish his workday.

“I need you to explain this to me Todd, or else I can’t help you” Charlie pleaded and Todd sighed as he looked down to the coat in his arms.

“Can we at least sit down?” he asked and Charlie nodded, starting back on his pace as he bustled down the city sidewalks to a diner that was sure to appear. He grimaced at the Worlds Best Coffee sign in the window that every diner in this God forsaken city seemed to have.

“You want to explain it now?” Charlie asked as he went to take a sip of the worlds best coffee. Todd kept his gaze on the table, not wanting to meet his eyes.

“It started when you had to cancel lunch since something got messed up at work. I didn’t want to sit home so I went for a walk. That’s when I saw the sign. At first I wanted to run away but then I realized I hadn’t seen the play since that night. I practically knew it word for word since Neil made me run lines with him every chance we got. It felt like I watched it yesterday even though I hadn’t seen it in years” Charlie felt his heart tighten. They had all been at the play but Todd was the one who practiced with him. Todd played every part alongside Neil’s Puck.

“So you went inside?” Charlie egged on, needing to know the dark thoughts in the boys head. They all struggled with the shadow of grief, it’s overbearing weight crushing their shoulders over the smallest things. For Charlie it was soccer. Him and Neil had played together since children and after he died he never played or watched again.

“I figured it would be a good thing. Give myself a new memory but then the end came. It was Pucks big speech and suddenly I couldn’t breathe. That was Neil’s moment, I remember cheering so loud my lungs hurt, then I remembered it was pretty much the last thing I ever heard him say. So I ran out, too afraid to relive it” Todd said and this made Charlie more confused.

“If it was too hard why did you go back?” he asked, leaning forward on the table wanting to know where this was going.

“I wanted to find the strength to finish it. I never could though. After a while it became less about finishing it and more about getting lost in the play. Feeling like that 17 year old kid again who just saw his best friend follow his dreams. It felt like when Neil was still alive” this answer hit Charlie like a ton of bricks. This was torture and he had gone too long without realizing Todd was trapped in an endless cycle of torment.

“Todd-” Charlie held his face in his hands, not knowing what to say. He wasn’t prepared for this, this was worse then having nightmares about that night or crying when it all became too much.

“I know, I know I need to stop. It’s hard though, when I’m home with nothing to do I started remembering and getting upset and when I sit in that play for at least an hour it’s as if nothing ever happened” Todd told him and Charlie nodded, understanding wanting to feel like the people they were before tragedy struck.

“You can’t go back Todd, if you ever find yourself needing to go you call me. I’ll cancel whatever I’m doing, say it’s a family emergency because you’re the only family I have Todd and I can’t let this consume you” Todd nodded, feeling guilty for having kept this secret for so long.

“Okay, I promise” with a content nod Charlie accepted this answer, not needing to have anymore depressing conversation.

After they ate their meals and Charlie made sure Todd got home he found himself unable to stop thinking about what Todd had been doing. Tugging his tie from his neck and getting ready for bed he kept going over it, again and again, wanting to understand how he could put himself through that. Yet the longer he thought about it he realized how little closure they all got. The days after Neil’s death were filled with so many things. In a matter of a few days they went through losing a friend from suicide, a funeral, their teacher getting fired, and for Charlie, getting kicked out of school. Everyone was so focused on finding who to blame, including the Poets, that none of them ever came to terms with the fact that Neil was really gone. So with this in mind he came up with an idea.

Putting the plan together wasn’t hard. Using his connections he found a way. So even though Todd thought this was just a normal dinner for the two of them he actually had no idea what was to come. So Charlie knocked on his door, signature smirk proud on his face as he waited for Todd to open it.

“Hey Charlie-” Todd froze as he saw not only Charlie but Knox, Chris, Meeks, and Pitts standing behind him. “What’s this?”

“We’re all going to dinner, and a show” Charlie reached forward and Todd saw the familiar ticket in his hand. When Charlie had reached out to the boys and told them about what was happening they all agreed immediately to help Todd through this. After all every single one of them needed it too.

“I thought it was a bad idea” Todd said, already growing nervous at the thought.

“I did. I still do. Then I realized the reason you felt that way about the play was because you never got closure. None of us did. So we’re gonna stay to the end, and hopefully when we all get through it we will feel a bit better” Charlie said before stepping to the side and gesturing to follow them out. Todd nodded, still nervous as they left his apartment and made their way out to the loud streets.

It was like deja vu sitting in those seats all together again. Every single one of them remembered the night like yesterday. Charlie nearly jumped as the orchestra started in the pitch black of the theater. Knox squeezed Chris’ hand like his life depended on it. Todd tried to settle his nerves as they waited for it to start. When the actor who played Puck appeared it was as if the whole group couldn’t breathe. He had the same look in his eyes that Neil did all those years ago and Charlie felt himself begin to cry. Pitts and Meeks looked at him with sympathy as they all faced this nightmare together. Suddenly Todd’s hand appeared on Charlie’s back and gave it a comforting rub.

When the end of the play approached Charlie felt the air surrounding him thin. There it was, the feeling Todd had described. This was the last moment they saw their friend with a smile on his face. When he came out for that final bow and looked so fucking proud. Their friend who deserved the world and everything it had to offer because if anyone of them deserved to be in this world so did he. So Charlie sucked in a breath and kept his eyes on Todd who looked like he wanted to flee his seat. All six of them grabbed hands and prepared for it to end and the curtain to drop.

“If we have unearned luck. Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue, We will make amends ere long; Else the Puck a liar call; So, good night unto you all. Give me your hands, if we be friends, And Robin shall restore amends” chills filled their bones as the last line was spoken and the curtain dropped. As Charlie turned to Todd he saw the boy absolutely broken, sobs raked his body. The boys all wrapped themselves around him in a hug. Bystanders clearly confused by their emotional behavior but this was a beautiful moment for the group. They faced their demons and they did it together.

“See Mr. Anderson, the end is beautiful” Margaret said as the exited the theater and he smiled at her.

“It really is, thank you Margaret” Todd told her and she waved as the group followed him out the doors.

“That was intense” Knox sighed, his arm wrapped tightly around his wife.

“I never realized how heavy that moment was until now” Meeks muttered pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“Neil would’ve loved this, going to Broadway and seeing the shows. Hell even being in them” Charlie said and the group nodded as they reminisced their friend.

“He’s with us now, I know it” Pitts smiled and Todd looked up at the sky, barely any stars visible, a violet haze around the earth.

“He changed my life, I wish he would’ve stuck around to see how it turned out” Todd muttered and Charlie tugged him in a hug, thankful he could help his friend.

“He was my best friend, my first friend. The only guy who put up with me until I met you dorks” Charlie said as he pulled away.

“His heart was too big, he would’ve given each of us the world if he could” Knox told them and Chris smiled, never having met their beloved friend. But she remembered him in that play, it was the best local theater she had ever seen and despite not knowing him she knew he would’ve changed the world.

“To Neil, and us. Remember the powerful play goes on and we may contribute a verse”

headcanon that todd goes to see every adaptation of midsummer's night dream as an adult. he leaves the theater before the end every time.

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