#genuinely cannot get over how intentional the song is to them

[absolutely-not-my-main-blog]

If you like Piña Coladas...

And at last, my third, main, final and favourite piece for the beautiful The Gang Finds Their Pride Zine over @its-always-ziney-in-philadelphia. Everyone go check the full thing, it is jam packed with so many incredibly skilled and talented people, and it was an honour to be part of it.

[luvrxbunny]

sweet

pairing: bf!Eddie Munson x f!reader

summary: Eddie is trying to see what it takes for you to ask him for help.

warnings: 18+ MDNI, praise kink, dry humping, cum in pants (lmk if i forgot anything)

wc: 2.2k

a/n: i blacked out after two sentences i have no clue where the rest came from. apparently i was too horny to give a proper ending?

Eddie can see your hyper-focus on your hands, his heart is melting at the way you’re trying so hard to follow what he showed you even though he knows you can’t focus when you’re high. 

It’s 10:37 pm, you and Eddie are high and he’s been trying to teach you the chords to his new song for 20 minutes now. He’s chuckling quietly as your fingers fumble over the strings again, drawing a frustrated whine from your mouth. 

“Aww, It’s okay, baby. You’re doing much better than you were earlier! You’re actually picking this up way faster than I thought you would.” Eddie is genuine when he says it but it’s your reaction that changes that.. that changes his intentions. He watches your face as he praises you, he watches your eyes glaze over, and your lips part gently as a soft smile spreads over your face. 

“Th- Thank you, Eddie. That’s so nice of you, thank you.” You sound so out of it. It shocks Eddie for a moment but makes perfect sense. He thinks of all the time you ask him for help with your studies, even though he knows you know the material. He thinks of all the time he cheers for you after getting the right answer, how he praises you and calls you his smart girl. He thinks of all the times you bake for him, asking for him to taste test them even though you’ve made the recipe a million times, he thinks about his exaggerated moans of delight, how he would get on his knees and beg you to make him a batch. 

He thinks about times exactly like this one, when he’s playing his guitar for you and you beg him to teach you. He thinks about how quickly you pick them up and how you beam at him when you finally get it. The only difference now is that you’re higher than he’s ever seen you. 

You wanted to celebrate for midterms so Eddie rolled you a blunt instead of his usual joints. Of course, his little lightweight got high out of her mind. You got so soft and cuddly that he could’ve never denied you when you asked him real nice to teach you the new chords. 

He comes out of his thoughts just in time for him to hear you nail the part you’ve been struggling with, perfectly. His blood rushes to his cock when he notices the way you look up at him, expectantly, almost… desperately. “Such a good job, baby.” It comes out more sultry than he meant it to but he’s never been able to hide his emotions with you. 

He watches your eyebrows, twitch in confusion but you don’t break his gaze. You’re waiting for more. He has to take a deep breath as his sensitive tip presses against the zipper of his jeans. His hands are twitching at his sides as he gets up, leaving his desk and making his way to where you sit on his bed. “That was amazing, honey. You’re better than I am, you’re perfect.”

He watches your thighs tense, trying to rub together as your hips lift to press you against his guitar as you get a faraway look in your eyes. You’re looking right at him as you grind yourself into his guitar, he doesn’t think you even realize you’re doing it. He lays down next to you, watching your bottom lip tuck under your teeth as you shake your head with a small smile. “No, not better than you, Eds. I could never beat the best, baby.” 

Eddie has to actively bite back a moan at the pet name, he feels like he’s gonna fucking pass out as all his blood rushes south. He knows you’re trying, he knows you’re trying to turn him on, asking him to make you feel good without actually saying the words. 

He’s told you time and time again how hot your pet names get him, he knows it’s silly but he cannot help it. Every time you speak to him with any ounce of sweetness he’s fattening up in his jeans. “But you’re perfect then?” He presses his hips forward, loving the pressure your plush thighs provide against his throbbing cock. His eyes almost roll back as he watches a silent moan fall from your mouth as your hips twitch, forward first against his guitar but back again to press into his boner. 

He smiles and raises an eyebrow at you, challenging you. You never initiate. He knows you’re shy, he knows it’s hard for you. He knows he’s all of your firsts but he needs— he craves to hear you beg him- to hear you ask him to touch you. He’s insecure, he can’t have this be so one-sided. He wants to see how far he has to push you before you say something. 

You’re nodding at him desperately. “Yes- Yes, I’m perfect.” He’s smiling so fondly at your agreement, his dick twitching painfully in his pants. He knows you feel it by the way your hips twitch, pathetically confused and you whine. It’s short and cut off as you turn to put his guitar away, placing it gently on the ground. You brush his cock and give him a beautiful view of your ass in the process. He’s silently begging you to say something, he doesn’t know how long he can keep this up. 

You turn back around and just stare at him, waiting for him to say something. He watches confusion bloom over your face, your head tilting like a puppy. He mimics your action with a teasing smile. “Do you have something to ask me, baby?” He watches realization and dread spread over your features. 

“Eddie…” Your thighs are rubbing together, nervously or for friction. He doesn’t falter, just looks at you expectantly as you pout. His hips are subconsciously thrusting up into the air, getting hot under your gaze. You press your hand to your forehead, astonishingly stressed at this seemingly simple task. Eddie considers letting up as he analyzes the distress on your face but you speak up. 

“Eddie can you-” You whine and avert your gaze. “Can you make me feel good? I—“ You huff out a breath of embarrassment. “I want you to make me cum… please.” His heart bursts at how nicely you ask. He’s taking a slow deep breath, trying to calm himself before answering you but you take his silence as a demand for more. “Eddie please!” You sound so upset, it's so cute. It makes him so hard. “Please, I- I need it. I need you, Eddie, please.” You’re still not looking at him as you whine. 

Eddie turns your head and smashes his lips into yours just to shut you up. If you had kept rambling about how bad you need him he would’ve cum in his pants. “Yeah. Yeah, I can make you feel good, baby. What do you wanna do, pretty girl? We can do whatever you want. You asked me so nicely, honey. You’re so sweet.” 

He’s desperate and all over you as he speaks. His hands are in your hair as he kisses all over your face and down your neck. You feel like you could suffocate in his need for you, it rushes over you and makes you need him more. “Your- Can we- Eddie.” 

He’s biting into your neck as you try to answer. You can feel him smirking in your neck as you struggle to answer him. “ ‘M sorry, baby. Go on, talk. You’re doing so well, honey.” He pulls himself closer to you so he can press his bulge into you again, his eyes fully rolling back at the pressure this time. “I want you to…. fingermeplease?” He moans at the way you rush out the last part of the sentence but still manage to use your manners. 

“You want me to finger you, baby? Fuck, yeah. I can do that. Mhm. You wanna sit between my legs? Let me open you up and play?” You’re nodding frantically and whining against his face as he lets filth spill from his lips. “Yeah? Will ‘ya squirm, honey? No, no I bet you’ll stay put like a good girl, huh?” 

He pummels you with his embarrassingly arousing words as he gets up to take his pants off (as you do the same), leaving his boxers and situating himself against the headboard. His thick thighs spread wide over his bed, leaving room for you to crawl between them. You don’t move though, you’re too mesmerized by the way his cock is pressing against the fabric, leaking into it and leaving a rapidly spreading dark spot. It can’t help but twitch as you admire him, he can’t take it; the hungry yet somehow innocent look in your eyes as you crawl towards him. 

Normally this is the part where you turn around, your legs spread and trembling over his as he shoves his fingers in your pretty pussy over and over until you’re quivering around his fingers, moaning and gripping his hair behind you desperately. Normally this is the part when he presses his boner to your lower back, thrusting against you in time with his fingers, imagining that it’s actually his cock inside you and willing himself not to cum when he pictures it for too long. 

Instead, you lift yourself to your knees. His face becomes level with your panties, his hips thrusting into the air as he groans at the pink bow resting on the band. You put your hands on his shoulder and slowly lower yourself onto his lap, letting out the sweetest moan as his soaked cock pushes into your dripping lips. His hands come up to your hips and force you down to him rougher than he meant to when he hears the sweetest whimper of “Oh, Eddie” slip from your throat. 

“Oh my fucking god, baby. You feel incredible, so fucking perfect. I can’t take it. Mm- Oh— What happened? I- I thought you wanted my fingers, sweetheart?” He’s throwing his head back and groaning when you collapse into him, leaning your weight on his bulge. You’re huffing out like you’re gonna cum, looking up at him with your pretty, glazed over, fucked out, high as fuck eyes. 

“I dunno, Eddie. I- It looked like he was- like he was crying for me.” Your hips stutter with a moan as your eyes roll back, Eddie’s hard cock rubbing against your clit perfectly. He feels like he’s gonna cum as you confess. It confounding to him; how you can say the most whorish things in the sweetest way. 

“You are in-fucking-credible, my love. I have no clue how you do this to me. I’m already so close, baby. You’re so amazing, so soft for me, love.” His eyes roll back and he’s losing it.

“You’re gonna make me cum— fuck. Holy shit—faster. Oh-h f-fuck me faster, baby. I love you so much. I- I’m gonna cum so hard. I- dammit. I wanna make you cum first. L-lemme make you cum first- shi-itt.”

You’re rabid against him, your hips moving at a pace that has him weak. You have him questioning who’s in control. He’s wound even tighter when he feels your hips falter, losing their rhythm as your mini whines evolve into desperate moans. “H-Help- Ed—” 

Your breathing is scattered as you whine and twitch against him. “Yeah, I’ve got you, baby.” He grabs your hips and grinds you against him, lifting his hips to meet your heavenly pussy and pressing magnificently into your clit. It has your hands digging into his shoulders, dropping down to his waist as you hug yourself to him. You’re moaning into his ear as he feels your thighs tensing on his sides.

“T-tell me-” You whine higher, more pathetically than he’s heard all night, his cock pulses, spurting out a dangerous amount of pre-cum into his boxers. “Tell me I’m good. T-Tell me I’m pretty—” You cut yourself off with a gasp as you buck your hips against him, a newfound energy coursing through you. “Oh- please- please tell me I’m pretty.”

Eddie’s right on the edge, moaning so loud he wouldn’t be surprised if the whole trailer park heard him. “YES- Yes, oh my god. You’re so beautiful, my love. You’re a fucking goddess among peasants. You’re a flower in a field of fucking hay, you’re my dream. You’re my soulmate.” He dissolves into a whine as you cum against him. You’re moaning into his shoulder, trying to muffle yourself in his shirt but you’re too loud. 

“There you go, fuck yes. Good girl— Oh shit. I’m gonna-” His eyes are in the back of his skull before he can finish. His hips twitching insanely and spurting out an outrageous amount of cum into the fabric of your panties. He’s panting as he tries to come down but you’re deliriously humping him. Forcing more ropes of cum into his boxers, he just can’t seem to stop. 

“Oh. Oh my god- I- I can’t stop. You’re such a good girl. Mine. My good girl. Askin�� me to make you feel good, takin’ what you need. God-” A ragged moan bubbles out of him as his cock finally stops drenching your poor panties. 

thank you so much for reading!! please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all! also if you liked it please take a look at my masterlist!

[imsosleepyofyourbull]

I’m miserable at the knowledge that Gotoge contrasted everything about Zenitsu and Tengen on the surface — the loser crybaby demon slayer with seven ex girlfriends vs. the flashy Hashira with three loving wives — before connecting them with their breathing and their music and their hearing, only to do basically nothing with it. Are you kidding me? Could you imagine a world where Zenitsu and Tengen actually get to talk?

Because Tengen loves his wives and his friends, but they physically cannot understand what it’s like for him to step into a quiet room and still be able to hear every secret around him. To be seen as a sneak or a spy even more than he already is for his shinobi heritage, for a biological factor he can’t control no matter how hard he tries. Or to find music in the sound of the crowd’s blood, heartbeats, and very souls while being unable to share it with anyone unless he transcribes it.

Zenitsu embodies it.

He is absolutely terrified of it, hearing danger that nobody else can sense until minutes after he’s already become aware and forced to contend with the knowledge that he will also be the first to know when someone has died. How many times did he hear a heart stop beating when he was out on the streets as a child? How many times did he hear his allies’ bones and organs break or rupture in their bodies on a mission? How many times has he heard his own? It’s futile to count, but both he and Tengen know what it’s like to be that person.

And I can’t help but think that Tengen would be excited about their connection in a way that Zenitsu can’t be — he’s older, more experienced, and more confident in himself. There’s no doubt that he stopped thinking of his hearing as just a curse a long time ago, and he probably found a way to have fun with it in his music. But that also means that he’s been searching for someone who would know what he was talking about for even longer than Zenitsu. He’d jump at the opportunity the second it arose, because Zenitsu might want to run and Zenitsu might not be willing to hear what connects them… but Tengen can. And he’s not about to let that go over some petty whining.

So he decides to make the boy his student (maybe even his Tsugoku) and begins training him on everything he’s learned about his own hearing over the years. It’s like every step they take forward in building a proper teacher-student relationship is immediately offset by another five steps back. Zenitsu rejects the connection entirely because, at his core, he can’t imagine himself being comparing to Tengen — to the physical embodiment of everything he wants to be and doesn’t think that he can’t. So he shoves more broken chords into their shared symphony than actually fit and his anxiety becomes a constant shadow on the harmony of their song.

It grows distorted from both his intentional and unintentional self-destruction just as much as it does from Tengen’s own frustration. It gets worse and worse and worse, until there’s nowhere for it go anymore; until Tengen unintentionally insults Jigoro for being irresponsible and letting Zenitsu go to Final Selection with only one technique.

It will be the first and one of the only times that he gets to see become Zenitsu genuinely furious.

Because Zenitsu’s relationship with Tengen here is in the same vein as his relationship to Kaigaku in canon — he hates and respects and fears the sound hashira in equal measure. And it’s that last thing that really matters, because Zenitsu’s rage blinds him to the feeling of fear where it becomes all that Tengen can hear in his sound. The image of himself as a child reflected in a little blond boy who didn’t want to train with him (with his father) but did it anyway. Tengen’s wives have to separate them soon enough, and everyone decides that trying again isn’t a good idea.

So they take a break. A long one. Long enough that Zenitsu assumes that his apprenticeship is finally over and he can go back to whoever he was before this mess. He’s wrong, of course, because Tengen knocks on his door the very next day and they go all the way back to the Uzui Estate to try something new. They go to Tengen’s music room, filled to the brim with instruments more expensive than Zenitsu has ever seen, let alone gotten to touch, and they spend the night playing whatever they feel like. Because they’d always known each other by their sounds better than they had their words, and trying to force the latter was their first mistake. They knew better, now.

Music night becomes their ritual. After training, they air out their frustrations with song after song in a conversation only they’ll ever understand. Not a thing spoken. And, eventually, they won’t have to speak at all. Zenitsu once explained that when he tried hard enough, he could hear people’s thoughts instead of just their feelings.

What would it be like for him to not have to try at all with Tengen?

(What would it be like for him to have a mentor in the only other person who would understand?)

[bratdotcom]

Songs that remind me of Invincible characters!! ☆

( this includes some songs from the show/ SPOILERS for S2 so proceed with caution!! )

Mark Grayson - Broken Boy by Cage The Elephant

☆ : you already KNOW this is his anthem it literally played during one of his scenes also it reminds me of him so fucking MUCH that I made it a title in one of my fics ( mark grayson I love you mark grayson you shoulda been at the club instead of what angstrom put u through 😭 )

Eve Wilkins - When You Die by MGMT

☆ : the song and tone read as Eve to ME!!

Go fuck yourself

You heard me right

Don't call me nice again

Don't you have somewhere to be at seven thirty?

Baby, I'm ready

I'm ready, ready, ready to blow my brains out

( from the song btw ^ the singer sounds absolutely done with whoever they're speaking to but still have an upbeat tone that is eve coded to me )

Rex Sloan - Sorry For Party Rocking by LMFAO

☆ : do I even have to EXPLAIN why this song reminds me of him? I've heard this song so many times that the guys singing start to sound like Rex in my head ( 😭 ) also I think he'd say sorry for party rocking unironically to Rudy or something

Donald Ferguson - Starman by David Bowie

☆ : GODDDD his character development in s2 makes me SICK ( I love him so much ) he's the underdog of the show to me and he always puts people over himself not just because of his job, but because he actually, genuinely, cares for people ( donnie I love you donnie )

Cecil Stedman - Man of War by Radiohead

☆ : I'm gonna let the lyrics speak for themselves on this one WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH THIS SONG REMINDS ME OF HIMMMM

Search the whole world

But drunken confessions

And hijacked affairs

Will just make you more alone

When you come home

I'll bake you a cake

Made of all their eyes

I wish you could see me

Dressed for the kill

You're my man of war

( the dressed for the kill and hijacked affairs parts remind me of cecil SO much )

Nolan Grayson - Do The Evolution by Pearl Jam

☆ : the pacing, the lyrics, the way it gets increasingly and increasingly more static/fried as the main vocals say the title of the song remind me of Nolan and his true intentions of coming to Earth - to conquer it.

Damien Darkblood - Hit the Road Jack by Ray Charles

☆ : my entire playlist for him has 1960s songs on it I don't know why but they remind me of him ( 😭 ) a lot of ppl don't want him around, and that's why this song reminds me of him

That's all!! Let me know if you listen to any of the songs and your thoughts on them!! :3

[simplepotatofarmer]

Blog Update:

Hi, it's me, Loyal.

I just want to say first and foremost, I really do love (parts of) the fandom and I'm not going anywhere.

I will, however, not be around as much. One, I'm about to enter an all day intensive treatment plan so I'll literally just be on in the evening. Two, as much as I'm going to keep writing and creating, I have no intention of interacting publicly with fandom as much as I have.

I can't. It's actually fucking insane that it's gotten to this point. I made tribute post and because I used lyrics from Dream's song, I got harassed. The people doing this, acting like this, thinking this way are insane.

So in case it's not clear: Based on my personal lived experience and some information that's come to light, I still enjoy Dream's content. You can approach me personally, off anon, if you want to know my reasoning. If you dislike me for this, that's fine. But I'm done trying to walk this fine line just so I don't get people threatening me, my kids, and my pets. Just so people stop sending me the city I live in, so they stop digging up twelve year old tweets, so they stop calling me slurs and suicide baiting me.

That's absolutely insane. It's horrible. It's disgusting and I was honestly just sitting here, taking it, because I'm terrified of upsetting people and losing friends if I say 'yeah, I'm excited for a new manhunt and I also this song helped me and my kids process my grief'. And the worst part is, it's not an unfounded fear. People have done the most vile shit to me. People I thought were friends jumped on me instead of those harassing me.

I just want to post about Techno and c!Rivals duo and not worry about whether or not this post is going to get me hate. I don't want to worry about how random discord servers are talking about me.

Because that's fucking batshit. Not the worrying, but what these people are doing and I'm tired of letting this effect me. I have enough going on in my personal life. My partner of 15 years almost died. We almost lost our house. I should be able to come online and post about the silly minecraft guys I like and their RP and lore without censoring myself out of fear of literally being doxxed and cyber stalked. I should be able to talk about the racism that effects me without being afraid people will make it about cc drama or calling me slurs or erasing my identity as an Ojibwe person.

The people doing this are the problem. It hurts that so many people are part of this, it really does. But I can't keep letting it get to me. I've always done my best to be kind. I haven't been perfect, especially not lately, because all this hate and stress has gotten to me. I've lashed out. I shouldn't have.

And I shouldn't have had to deal with all that shit in the first place. I hope no one else does. It's terrifying and draining and I'm done.

So I intend to post the things I enjoy, I intend to reblog my friends' art, write the Emerald duo and Rivals duo fics I want to. I want to post about the Syndicate and the new manhunt when it comes out. That's what I'm going to do.

Asks are staying off for the moment because people are too happy to make burner blogs but I'll probably turn them back on at some point as I love answering lore and headcanon questions and, again, it's fucked up I can't enjoy an aspect of the site and fandom because people can't just leave me alone.

To those people: Get help. You're harassing someone because you think they deserve it and that's the most fucked up thing.

To everyone else: So so many of you have been amazing. You've been supportive, you've been kind. That kindness and support speaks volumes and I love you all. I genuinely love you. Dreblr, you've been here for me for over a year at this point and I cannot thank you enough. You are the best part of fandom as far as I'm concerned. And to Dtblr, y'all have come to support me countless times and that means the world to me, it really does. As for all my fellow Rivals duo fans, you people are worth your weight in gold for the joy you bring. A special shout-out to @vpofcookies because you've been here since the beginning, practically, and I love you. There's more but you know who you are.

Anyway, I've been carrying this for awhile and I'm tired. I'm no longer going to give any amount of thought to the people determined to drag me down and harass me constantly.

My best advice is stop focusing on the things and people you hate and instead focus on what you love. That's what I plan to do, from here on out.

[yuseirra]

I really am trying to make sense of hikaru's character, and trying to bring everything I see of him and combine it together in a way that makes sense to form his character but it's actually impossible. I could manage to make sense of it somehow till 161, but I just cannot with what we learn out of him in 162, it has information that contradicts what's previously given to us and it's as if he has split personalities that cannot coexist...

The only way to make this understandable and could be thought of as consistent writing would be that he's ACTUALLY possessed, I'm serious, because what WAS that about him saying he does have fatherly feelings and the fact he funded for the movie, was willing to accept he'd be killed etc, I don't feel those were lies either, it DIDN'T have to be there. It's one of those information that no one would expect out of him so much and had been purposely given to us with intent. Those aren't usually lies because what's the point?; It's bad writing to just throw those info in to confuse the readers, it wasn't enacted in a way to be taken as a lie.

It wouldn't have been a problem if his appearance during the movie arc never existed, then he's perfectly coherent in regards to his previous portrayals, but I always felt that his portrayals in that arc would be fundamental to understand his character, his eyes didn't have the black stars in 154 in reaction to Ai's video either, so I was convinced the reactions he had towards Ai's video was so genuine.

I really want to ask the author if that's it for this one.

I really don't get it for this case, it's ACTUALLY impossible to integrate what's been shown of him as a single character, and it's not like the chapters have been spread out so far that it lead to a lack of consistency, it's been less than ten chapters since these events happened and he's drastically different that I just can't take him as the same person.

Except for the really, really base core of the character like his appearance and age and the fact that Ai is his most important person, it's like he's been completely taken over and shifted. It's so confusing, I really don't want to discard what I made out of his character from after what I saw from the movie arc, but I can't bring it together in a logical way of how things are in 161-162 if this is how he's supposed to go and it ISN'T AN ACT. Either this is bad writing(I'm sorry to say that towards another person's work but from a psychological standpoint, I really, really cannot comprehend what this is) or it's intentionally indicating that there is this outer force that's drastically shifted Kamiki's character in an unnatural way. But would it really BE this? In the case of the latter, Ai's wishes if helping him still makes sense because it'd indicate Hikaru really isn't himself and is influenced by the black stars or whatever. Honestly, that's the ONLY way it'd make sense for me for this character to be this way. It IS very out of character if we bring the movie arc portrayals into account. Does the writer know what they're doing with this character? They must, way better than me, but I'm not sure what they want to do with them because the work isn't mine.

I really really am trying to make do and make the best out of what I can of what's been presented in the source material, I always do, but it's INCREDIBLY confusing regarding this character. Right now... I may have to go with the idea that he's ACTUALLY possessed and not himself as bizzare and illogical that may be, or either disregard a huge chunk of the ideas that was set forth in the movie arc(but I am really convinced those were the truths when it comes to this character!!) It's both such a tough choice to make and I really need answers for this case. They don't give us proper answers when it comes to this character. What are they hiding?? I actually think he CAN really be possessed because, that's what the songs could be indicating and plus, that does let us see WHY Ai would request to help this guy out. It's not entirely out of his own will that he's acting wickedly, but under an influence, that's how he's "lost"... So is THIS it? Is THAT what the author is going for? Well for Hikaru's sake and for the sake of consistent writing I do hope this is the case because I can't understand him perfectly unless it's this!! Things just don't work out. I can't possibly portray him as well and it's so difficult, and I never had this happen to me, ever. It's like having a puzzle piece that's from a different set and struggling to fit it in, but it can't happen because it isn't supposed to be there in the first place.

I want to make the best of it, but that's what's happening to me right now.

[didnt-hear-cold-as-you-live]

I know your boyfriend has family in the States and that’s a big part of why he can’t see himself moving to Australia but…has he even been there? It’s been your dream for forever, you fought so hard to make it good for yourself…it just seems weird that he hasn’t even seen this place that holds part of your heart if he also has part of it. I’m probably biased though because I was very much team cut him loose when all the shit went down before and I’m still genuinely unclear on why you took him back. Wish I had some advice on a good place to land in the US but DC is my favorite city (well, Arlington/Alexandria) and it doesn’t do it for you, so…I guess I’ll second Chicago…it’s my next favorite. Good luck bestie, whatever comes next you deserve to be happy.

Hi okay I am getting a lot of anons addressing this topic so I do want to explain bc like, I get this line of questioning.

So, I broke up with him while I was on tour with a band, the tour ended in New York and I stayed on the tour bus and headed to California with the band, because I didn’t want to get dropped off back to our apartment in NYC (as per the original tour plan) under those circumstances. On the way back to San Francisco, we stopped in Chicago for 2 days and I’m standing around in a concert venue while we’re there and who walks up to me but my boyfriend. Once he saw where we were he flew there immediately, and he took me outside and had a very, like, Betty moment and he just poured his heart out and sang me a song he’d written and apologized so profusely and begged me to give him a second chance. Albeit reluctantly at first, I did.

I think the person I am with now is almost a completely different human being than the one I was in a relationship with before, in the best way. You know how Chase Stokes is just so obsessed with and all-in and one of the girlies and biggest cheerleader ever ever ever for Kelsea Ballerini? Or how, a bit less so, Travis is for Taylor? That’s how it is and that’s how it’s been. He’s been so supportive of my every dream and every want and just would bend over backwards to make me smile and is so intentional and clear about those things. To the extent where he’d been paying my rent the first 5 months I’ve been here so that I could be here and be less stressed because he wanted me to have this, at like, extreme financial detriment to himself. And it’s not like my love is something someone can purchase, its more about the gesture and willingness to do that. He is so receptive to critique and is always trying to be better for me. I’ve never imagined being so loved or so supported by someone, genuinely. In my first 5 year relationship I would look at girls with supportive boyfriends like this and think about how that kind of thing was just not something that was in the cards for me. I look back now at how fulfilled I am with this relationship and can’t believe I used to feel that way.

To answer your question, he has been here! We came together in 2018 when we were just friends (he is the ONLY person in my whole life who has met The Australian, ha) and he was just visiting me 6 weeks ago. Unfortunately he didn’t get to be in Melbourne very long (we traveled a lot which I now regret) so I couldn’t really like, broadcast my love of it here onto him, but he has visited and he thinks it’s a great place. He just doesn’t feel any kind of emotional calling to it (other than me obv but I am physically capable of moving) that justifies being away from everything he’s ever worked for and loved in his whole life and every family member and friend he cares about (he’s relatively well adjusted with 90% of his family and fears them getting older, cannot relate at all). Which is, I suppose understandable even though I don’t like it or agree: I’d be giving up my dream if I left. He’d be giving up his dream and his life and his family and every friend he’s ever had.

[pearldog30]

Simon (ghost) Riley head Cannon

So I'm going to try my hand at writing a ghost head Cannon, the most realistic way. I possibly could without making him out to be this monster everybody thinks he is. (also I grew up in a PTSD household iykyk so I think I have enough knowledge to say how I think he would be like from my own personal experience of course!) and I have not written in so long so bear with me this is my first thing I'm publishing officially. Anyways I hope you enjoy this 🖤

Master list

Warnings| PTSD drug and alcohol addiction, mentioned, please let me know if I got the tags and warnings right I'm new at this!

I just want to start off by saying that this is 1,000% ghost love song (if the link doesn't work it's Blood sport by sleeping token)

Since he's a lieutenant in the military he's good at reading people like a book knowing/people's intentions I mean you have to be in that field and with that being said since he can sense your intentions and know they're pure, genuine, and good, he's more open to trusting you and creating something with you rather it be friendship/relationship. ( Even if you are, or aren't, in the 141. But if you're not it will just take a little bit of extra time just be patient with the man he has severe trust issues for a reason ) but don't be mistaken with the open trust there's still a lot you two have to work on and prove to each other.

And with him being military he's used to having things his way/being in control of situations 24/7, so there's going to be a lot of fights. Mostly about him leaving at random times because he needs the space. And about where you are (if you guys are not living together yet) where you going who you hanging out with. This isn't him being possessive, this is him terrified something bad will happen to you cuz he's lost everyone he's ever loved. Which is another reason why he's so protective over the 141, because they're his family. Even though he would never openly admit it.

And with the whole space thing, Which is why he leaves he's not leaving to cheat no. he's leaving to clear his head before he snaps, because when he does snap it's like he's in this PTSD rage and starts yelling. because he has snapped at you in the past, and it was not pretty. of course! Tho he never physically harm you, he can never do that he would hate himself even more if he did that. But when he does the second he sees those tears fall it snaps him back into reality. And you'll get a quick apology before he practically runs out the door to clear his head. But don't worry he always comes back and always will and make it up to you and give you a full apology and do what he can so he doesn't do it again.

Also this is known anyway but I'm just going to go over it. unlike most military people he does not have alcohol/drug addiction, because well his brother and father. he didn't want to be like that and he also saw how badly it messed up his brother and he didn't want to be like that. However! that man does have a nicotine addiction and you cannot tell me otherwise he's the definition of smoke a whole pack of marlboro reds and then run 10 miles and be fine (the fact that I know someone like that and I've seen them do it scares me 👀)

And since he knows he's a lot to handle with how messed up he is and his past he often pushes you away because he doesn't want to burden you with his issues and make you see him as he sees himself a monster.

Even though he loves peace, and quiet, and being by himself. if he's by himself too long it turns bad and he starts punching mirrors because he's reminded himself and his past. (He has tons of cuts and scars on his hands from punching mirrors)

(I've seen other people say this and I have to strongly agree) he does NOT wear his mask off duty not only is it dangerous, but we all know he does not like bringing attention to himself. and wearing that mask off the field/Bass would strongly bring attention to him. And on top of that I don't even think he would wear it at home, cuz it would remind him of himself and the bloodshed, and the harm, he's caused to others and when he's home he doesn't want to be reminded of his past.

And with that being said we all know how his past man's has major PTSD from the military and childhood so he often has tons of night terrors (if he's even able to sleep) which causing him jumping up in the middle of the night but he's thankful for you the fact that you're there and help him to calm down he may not talk about it and seem annoyed. but he really appreciates it.

He's not comfortable with physical affection at the beginning of the relationship but more towards down the road he'll come around start hugging you out of nowhere snuggling into you in bed (low key will give you THOSE eyes to come and give him affection) and he's ESPECIALLY! not comfortable with PDA in the beginning of the relationship. But he will have an arm around your shoulder/waste and maybe hold your hand. he has to let people know you're taken and that you also don't run away if y'all are walking around shopping.

he's a decent cook he's not good, he's not bad, either he's right in the middle. But let me tell you he's the master of tea/coffee (I know coffee is not really a British thing but when you're in the military you need caffeine practically caffeine addicted machine)

Love language quality time, and access service, he's a whole-hearted believer of actions speak louder than words. (Can you blame him though)

Anyways I hope you all enjoyed this. I know it was kind of short but again I'm new at it. and please give feedback if you think my writing shit (in a nice way of course) or if you want to see more honestly I enjoyed it and I thought it was fun.🖤

[killermchann]

mystik spiral rate youre music page

Icebox Woman

by Mystik Spiral

released 1998

recorded 1992 - 1997

2.33 / 5.0 from 70 ratings

Alternative Rock, Garage Rock, Post-Grunge

Grunge, Noise Rock, Power Pop, Indie Rock, Neo-Psychedelia

lo-fi, raw, angry, noisy, lethargic, introspective, dissonant, psychedelic, melancholic, energetic, depressive, self-hatred, nihilistic, existential, occult, rebellious, spiritual, pessimistic, male vocalist, LGBT, atonal

4 Reviews

cumguzzlinggutterslut

★★★✩✩

i liked the part where those 2 guys howled like wolves that part was funny

30000monkies

★★★★✩

takes me back…i used to play at the zon in the 90s & actually met the guitarist after a gig when i went to use the bathroom. nice guy. i think his name was jerry? he gave me a blowie in one of the stalls & sold me the CD for $20. great stuff! would recommend!

dreamtheaterfan8000

★✩✩✩✩

Pure drivel. I cannot recall a single moment during my first (and only) listen of this garbage where I wasn't appalled. HOW DID THIS TAKE 5 YEARS TO RECORD????? Let us delve into the musical septic tank...

Mystik Spiral is yet another perfectly mediocre post-grunge band that has decided to unleash onto the unwitting public the suburban angst they've carried with them and kept latent since middle school. My first question: What the fuck is a Mystic Spiral? Is it supposed to be a metaphor for their career? It sounds like the name of a Doors cover band. Initially I assumed the misspelling of the word "mystic" to be intentional, but after finishing the album I am fully convinced the members are all semi-literate. Take these lyrics:

"The universe is a cold, cold place, black and Bleak like outer space, the wind chill drops below sub-zero, it's not no time to be a hero."

Woooooow. Didn't know the temperature could drop "below sub-zero," or that poetry you wrote for your Language Arts class when you were twelve constitutes as genuine lyricism. And who still rhymes "zero" with "hero?"

Fortunately, Mystik Spiral is allergic to songs over two minutes in length, making this a much less tedious listen than expected. This compliment is backhanded, as the "songs" are excretions of verse-chorus crap that barely hit the one minute mark.*Yawn.* There is nothing in this album that resembles originality. Why bother writing memorable riffs when you don't even know how to fix that buzz in your amp? Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself.

The playing, if you can call it that, sucks. In spite of their apparent obliviousness to the concept of tuning, or practicing, so-called "guitarists" Trent Lane and Jesse Moreno have discovered an ingenious method: drown everything in as much feedback as possible so nobody can tell how bad it is. I cannot stress enough the fact that Mystik Spiral's sound is that of two college students whisper-arguing on top of TV static while someone living in their basement plays the drums. Props to the drummer, by the way, for managing to keep a simple 4/4 beat to this tuneless nonsense. I don't know why Mystik Spiral has a bassist, though. You can't even hear him, except some songs where he started playing too early & they decided not to do another take. It's like they're so ashamed to have him there they had to bury him in the mix. Or maybe he forgot to turn his volume knob up or something. Then I read that Mystik Spiral didn't even have a bassist until 1996, four years into the recording sessions. Who cares, man? It's called artistic liberty. Such is fate for so-called "alternative rock...." It should be illegal for bands to keep trying to emulate Nirvana and the Screaming Trees. Also Trent is the most bored sounding singer of all time. Also he can't sing. Also was it really necessary to include a 30-minute audio recording of a woman giving birth as a hidden track?

EDIT: After posting this review that took me a week to write I got a lot of messages insisting there was no childbirth recording & that I'm crazy. I swear to God it was there. It took up over half the album's runtime. How on earth is no one else hearing it?????

JesusSaves1968

★★★★★

This album gave me the first erection I've had in 30 years

[ratgingi]

some little doodles and rambles pages :-] bonus Longer Ramble under cut, goes into some general oc stuff as well as kinda how things work in my oc group set up

on the topic of michy, her name is accidentally a nod sorta to her relationship with mingus. since her last name is knight . you can make the connections there but it was Not intentional on my part i just happened to name her that (just like i. named her michelle before finding out that was mingus' original name HJSHBAVJDSAB) and my qpp cress pointed out the potential for it

speaking of names, i got inspired to pick jacksons name based on a tiktok i saw while creating him, with a character named 'chase wood'. i thought it was Really Funny but didnt want to directly rip either of those names so got to work thinking of something. i took the name jackson from the song that sort of inspired his personality (called "jackson, you are dying" by picture us tiny) and grabbed the last name coxx after seeing a randomly generated npc in a video i was watching to complete the joke

also charlie got his last name the same way jackson did in the sense of a random npc in a game video i was watching had it and i thought it was good enough. while i was trying to figure out what kind of name to give him (hed already had the name charlie for a good while, since he was a generic objecthead oc i had but decided should Become a dt one) a character named 'warden steiner' was mentioned like. once. and i thought that sounded close to frankenstein and was like. yeah thatll be cool

also kara has a second major nondateable technically. she may or may not get scrapped bc shes genuinely horrible (i hate. writing her. i made her design pretty nice but i just actually hate her BHJSJHABJD), but shes a rival from karas pageanting days who would lead to two different bad ends if she became real, one of which is. a death end for kara. i dont wanna go into full detail bc again its likely to get scrapped just bc i literally hate the rival but tldr kara gets shot(? or smth idk she eats absolute shit either way) during a performance because the rival convinced the player that the only way to help kara realize performing isnt for her was to sabotage it and it goes Wrong. the other bad end is just kara trying to warn the player that the rival isnt good to hang around and eventually cuts off from the player which would lead to the shit yourself and die end bc player probably gets thrown under the bus by the rival during smth. most likely in a literal sense

i wanna talk about mechanics some now uhhhhhhhh ok so on the topic of 'major nondateables'

i have probably explained how it works before but in order for a character to qualify as a 'major nondateable' they have to 1. heavily effect the route [to the point of interactions with them being able to change its course] and/or 2. heavily influence the route's dateable's thoughts/actions/general motivations during it, sometimes both. they also CANNOT be another dateable in a different route. if i were to apply this to in-game characters for example, mr dickens would be a major nondateable from olivers route, and mayor mingus would be a major nondateable from norms. the majors dont have to have an active presence near the dateable during the route, they just have to apply to the above guidelines. these are the reasons why characters like exie, adelaide, stephan, stop, etc are not considered major nonedateables, because while they are close with the dateables from the routes they have a presence in, they do not change the route or motivate the dateable toward anything. charlie actively changes the route and clearly has a big sway over lillith, oakey would be mentioned several times by kara as a reasoning for why she says or does certain things during her route, and juniper - despite not being close to margo - has the ability to effect the outcome of the route.

and not every route Has to have one obviously . and there are some that would Technically be major nondateables for each other (ex. murr and roe, isaac and vinnie) but Because the other half of the pair is also dateable in a separate route, they do not qualify

also smth i dont think ive talked abt much is the fact that yes outis genuinely does call the ocean his wife. i mentioned he does that a few times when i first made him but there would be several points in his route where he does this (its mostly joking but there would be points where hed be talking abt it and say smth like 'i love my wife a lot but she scares me very much'). also originally i was going to give him a shark tooth on his necklace, based on the one i have irl, but the story for my irl one is a guy punched it out of a sharks mouth and i think if outis found out about that hed start crying and would not want anything to do with it. so shell necklace it was

also the two instances the petstore would show up in are once in outis' route and once at the end of murrs. for outis, you would be accompanying him to his shift that day, and brainstorming ideas for what you can do to try and figure out how to help him overcome his anxiety. kiki would approach you once you arrive and would spend a moment interrogating the player on who they were and what their intentions with her friend were, and would occasionally chime in with her opinion while you talk to him. in murrs route, youre taking him there to introduce him to the idea of maybe getting a pet he can dote on. after he doesnt really connect with any of the animals there would be a little interaction with twerpy where he gives the two of you directions to the shelter that their sister works at and he decides hell go sometime alone. (he ends up getting a cat, her name is darling and hed kill for her. you dont get to meet her bc murr and roe still dont show up in ch3/4 but she Exists)

murrey is a firm believer in the concept of true love and believes hes found it multiple times in the past, and absolutely Despises the thought that some people have of only being able to really find it Once. during his route thats what hes chasing (there would be a point where he complains hes gone so long without feeling true love that he intends to find it again, and the player has the option to tell him you can only find it once - which would start you down one of his bad ends), and the thought that its something you can only obtain once and never again makes him incredibly miserable.

murr is also entirely aware that there are different kinds of true love, but hes been stewing in his loneliness for so long that the romantic kind is the only one his brain will allow him to focus on. this is why his good end sort of helps remind him of that along side dealing with his loneliness in healthier ways

also adelaide has a side job at the shelter as well. when you meet her with margo and juniper in chapter 4 shed mention something about murr adopting darling and inform you that hes a lot happier now that he has the cats company. also margo and juniper are doing better after your help as well bc margo is getting a bit better at communicating and juniper is trying to be less. [gestures vaguely] . shes still an ass bc thats just her but yknow what i mean

also im thinking about making michy my only dateable that shows up in chapter 3. everyone else's interactions that would be in ch3 have been moved to 'chapter 4' but she was my first gal i think she deserves her spot there. youd meet her with norm while heading down to the subway and shed run up to you two after recognizing his voice (shed talk about being on her way to a date with her partners, i Wanna make them show up in person but as they both belong to friends of mine im not confirming anything really bfhdjbfdjs) and talk about how after your help to get out of her parasocial issue shes found true love and is focusing more on her friendships and her happiness. :-]

also funfact i have partial scene scripts for stephan and stops routes somewhere on my laptop. they were both going to be dateables at one point and i wrote a little about what mightve happened + pieces of a scene from each but idk if ill be able to find them nor will i ever show them if i do probably but they are there. somewhere

also !! alex is intersex . i dont think ive ever stated that anywhere bc it isnt really relevant to the story or anything but its pride month so might as well share. good for them

also i am gonna confirm at least ONE of the library dateables is actually a vampire. probably. yall dont get to know who though (my qpp knows but cress keep that info to urself /vlh)

i had more i wanted to say but forgot to write down somewhere so. take this

[gunsli-01]

Hello! I was just reading that post where you answered the ask about who got yuno pregnant (or, from how I'm guessing you phrased it, who yuno got pregnant from [does that makes sense?] and it slowly fell into place for me (i think it kinda makes sense? She wanted to stay with this guy, so the pregnancy, then the man said he couldn't have that, so abortion?)

just wondering, for some of the scenes during teardrop (specifically the one where she's lying down with her arm over her face and a water bottle), how does that fit into the theory? I've seen it be viewed as her getting drugged and stuff like that.

it's probably just me overthinking things and could be chalked up to yuno just being sick or whatever, but I was just wondering!

Okay, I can elaborate on that further. I really like Yuno and discussing her. She's a genuinely nice and well thought out character especially how they handle her occupation.

That phrasing makes sense because there are multiple people that could have been the cause of the pregnancy, I didn't think phrasing it as this is definitely the father would be right of me. Since the father of the child could have turned out to not be the man Yuno wanted to be with but another client. Since she seems to have been seeing multiple clients at around the same time.

This could also be one of the reasons she ended up getting an abortion. If a different client got her pregnant and a prenatal paternity test showed that the one who she liked was not the father, she may no longer have wanted the child as a result. This would play into the possible multiple meanings behind the line,

"I messed up. I found out."

I've discussed how Yuno and Haruka work as a pair briefly. However, I feel it's important to expand upon my previous points. Since at the time I didn't do her or Haruka justice since I was trying to get to the Futa and Muu post. Haruka and Yuno both killed to get the affection they were seeking whether it be from a parent or romantic partner.

Yuno's trial songs and covers reflect this aspect of her character. In contrast to Haruka's familial ties to the person he's seeking attention from Yuno has contractual ties to the person she wants affection from. Affection that cannot be fulfilled with how her relationships are now.

"UNDER” My cord’s being pulled but nothing’s ever enough Contractual desires, oh what to do, FUTURE."

She can't get the romantic satisfaction she's seeking because all of these dates are contractual. This difference in understanding romance and genuine affection between Haruka and Yuno is highlighted within their first written interrogation.

Q.03  What’s the difference between “love” and “romance”?

Haruka: Don’t they both mean liking someone?

Yuno: “Love” is the feeling and “romance” is the state, right?

Along with the difference in worldly experiences between them.

Q.14 What’s an event that’s stuck in your memory?

Haruka: Fireworks.

Yuno: There’s so many I can’t think of just one.

"Desire, bestow, and desire again... The episode reloading on an endless loop. The fading warmth makes me anxious again tear drops succumb and fall."

I've mentioned this before in another post but tear drops/tear drop is spelled wrong in English. In English it's a compound word teardrop like how you spelled it within the ask. However, the word tear on its own means to tear something up basically pull or rip it apart. So, this could be read as Tear Drop to tear and drop something.

A thing we see Yuno explicitly do within her music video as she messes up the room she was in throwing and breaking stuff. This isn't something that can be easily overlooked. A quick google search would tell someone the word isn't spelled this way. Looking in an English dictionary would very easily inform someone this is a compound word.

That coupled with this scene make this spelling choice come off as convenient and intentional wordplay. Sorry, getting sidetracked this does tie into your question though.

You see the pictures comparing the dates we see her photograph in the daytime in comparison to the evening shots we're shown in Tear Drop. Chances are that these dates were all day things as alluded to through the lyrics in Umbilical,

"Is it a day off tomorrow? But, anyway, let’s be together till the morning. “Good morning” “Good night” I want to be with you as many times as I can."

The scenes we see depicted in Tear Drop are more than likely just the aftermath of all the dates we see in Umbilical.

This means that when Yuno is lying down in the car, she more than likely was not drugged but taking a break from working all day. She could have even been waiting for the man she was with to come back out and drop her off closer to her neighborhood but nowhere near her actual house.

A lot of people's assumptions about Yuno's situation can only work if one assumes Yuno is stupid. I don't know how else to put it. One would have to assume that Yuno was in her words a,

"“Poor naive little girl”?" To get to that conclusion.

If it is to be believed that Yuno who has been doing sex work with multiple people was drugged in that scene. That would mean one of a few things happened,

A. Yuno took a random bottle of any sort of drink/ that had already been opened and possibly resealed or had no seal of any kind from this client. Then she did not ask where it came from or to go to a store to pick out a drink herself but instead just drank it to be polite and respectful of her client's generosity.

Because Yuno really cares about being polite, especially in work settings.

20/07/08

Yuno: Hey, Mikoto-san... Don’t you get tired being so conscious of others all the time? I mean, you’re free to do what you want though.

Mikoto: Eh…… Aha, what are you talking about? I’m not being conscious or anything. It’s normal to make sure to get along with everyone, right? I mean, when you put it like that, aren’t you the same, Yun-chan? You’re always smiling and getting on with everyone too.

Yuno: I don’t smile unless I actually want to. Though with you when you’re talking with other people it’s more like you only smile deliberately. So, I kept thinking, don’t your cheeks get tired? Ah, is this just what happens when you become a working adult? ……you see people like that sometimes.

Mikoto: Haha, you don’t mince your words do you. …….that was never my intention, but now that you mention it, yeah, I guess I do.

This might’ve been since I started my job too…… But like, if I was rude to everyone I met, all my efforts would come to nothing, right?

Or in personal settings-

20/08/02

Mahiru: Yeah, I’m asking for what you like in the opposite sex! I mean, with a lifestyle like this we have a lot of free time, right? So earlier when I was talking with all the other girls we got onto the topic! It’s not often you get a chance like this to live with a mix of men and women together, so I thought it might be nice to use the chance to talk about stuff like this in preparation for when we leave.

Kazui: Ah…… Haha, I understand. I can see that’d be the sort of thing girls your age would be interested in, huh. How peaceful. What I like in the opposite sex… I don’t know if what I say will really be a good reference for you…… Ah, you know, since I’m at this age. I like a girl who can just smile free of worries. Seeing that’d make my old, tired heart feel young again.

Yuno: Uh-huh, I see, I see. ……that’s a total lie, right?

Kazui: Haha…… Give me a break here. You sure don’t make things easy for people, Kashiki-chan.

So, at this point her client had given her a random drink and she did not visibly see him get the drink beforehand. She's decided okay might as well trust it what's the worst that could happen. Not a common thing for anyone in her profession to do but she's young and reckless apparently let's throw caution to the wind. Despite that seeming completely out of character let's keep going down this road, maybe she really trusted and had faith in this client.

Even though based on her clothing it's not the client she was attracted to since that's the one she meets in her school uniform. Then after being drugged Yuno leant back the car seat to rest inside the car of the client who had just drugged her. Instead of removing herself from the situation immediately, going to the nearest public area, or seeking medical attention or help of any kind. Zero suspicions about being drugged or questions on why she's suddenly feeling tired nope she's like well I have been out all day.

Next option

B. Yuno at some time during her workday with this specific client left her drink/belongings within the vehicle unattended and the client tampered with them. Upon reentering the vehicle Yuno unsuspecting continued drinking her drink. This leads to the same events happening that unfold in option A.

Outside of it just seeming incredibly out of character for Yuno the other problem with this idea is that we are shown during the beginning of the date in Umbilical that the person or Yuno herself brought a different drink entirely. The one within the cupholder which was full during Umbilical and now sits empty during the overhead night view shot of her in the car during Tear Drop.

This is the same cup showing us that this event is taking place on the same day as the last scene we saw with her dressed the same way. The water bottle is the only new item here and Yuno's purse is now nowhere in the shot. Meaning there is a possibility that Yuno brought a water bottle with her inside her bag that she had at the beginning of the date. She then took out said water bottle for herself before placing the purse within the backseat more than likely after her client asked her to wait in the car.

She could have even snuck out of the car and purchased the bottle from somewhere nearby. However, if this client had the habit of having Yuno wait in the car as some can to avoid being seen with someone that is not their significant other in public. Then she very well could have brought water and food within the bag she arrived to the car with. This seems to be the case because we only see Yuno dressed like this when she is within a car.

Because of all this I believe what Yuno was doing here was just taking a moment for herself while waiting for who she was with to return to the car. Her appearing this fatigued also makes sense given that trial two establishes the fact that Yuno was at a time pregnant. Which can lead to fatigue and nausea throughout the day along with other symptoms. Far before a person ever becomes aware of the fact that they are pregnant.

[wyrmguardsecrets]

(sorry for the length) I haven't been seriously RPing since 2018, and I had taken a full on break from RP all together for this past year and just played the game without it. I have been here for over 10 years in our RP community, ever since Emerald Dream was the place to be. And yeah, I've been through hell and back in terms of drama especially when I was a teenager (I'm not excusing myself btw, I was a piece of shit on a few occasions and I recognize that, I got caught up in drama and wasn't able to maturely handle it).

I decided to jump back into RP this past autumn because I missed it, so I switched from WrA to MG just to test the waters and I've just got to say: I've had a wonderful time. People have been so friendly and welcoming to me and have shown genuine interest in my character and writing. We're building little friendships and plotlines and I am so happy. I don't know if it's the fact that I'm older and have had the time to regulate my emotions and stuff and be more mature in my own writing and interactions, but I just care so much less about OOC drama. I care so much less about being The Best or the most interesting character. And I'm having fucking fun, the most fun I've ever had RPing on this game in more than TEN years of this hobby.

The key is not caring disproportionately. The key is being mature enough to understand the OOC dynamic of this hobby and what you should rightfully expect from other players and knowing what they rightfully expect from you. The key is being able to separate yourself from OOC drama and view this hobby as what it is. It sounds obvious and easy, but it is not, emotions get in the way, people take things personally, it gets away from them. But for example; I used to read this blog like the morning paper and go feral over OOC secrets years ago, and now I skim it and can't even be bothered to give a shit about 90% of them. I peek at it since I've come back out of curiosity but I just find I cannot give a shit about the RP secrets, and it makes the community look way more toxic than it is - I'm not denying that there is very real pestilence among us but you understand.

I've been RPing for about 3 months now again and I've only had a great time and met so many people, been to so many community events (MASSIVE shout out to the people who organize these!! You rock!!) You have a hand in what you'll put up with and how you react to it, and when you figure that out everything changes.

Stay having fun, stay being creative <3 We're all just a bunch of losers playing pretend in a video game. And to my new friends: thank you, even though you won't know this is about you. I'll thank you in person myself anyway. I love reading your writing, I love diving into your stories. I love being able to share creativity with such awesome people all across the world.

If you're frustrated and drained and not enjoying this, remember why you loved it and maybe take a step back. Under the bowling for soup song there is real good here and really great people. (since people read into things with negative intent i would like to state clearly that holding predators and abusers accountable is not at all what I'm talking about)

-

[byanyan]

@chronal-anomaly sent:ㅤ"I need a dress." Her voice is abrupt again in the kitchen, interrupting their quiet silence. Usually she'd wear her dress blues, official business being one of the few reasons to dress up these days. "Was going to go shopping for one tomorrow, you want to come? Could use another eye. Hopeless at this stuff."

ㅤeyes don't leave the screen of their phone when lena breaks the silence of the flat, focus intent on their game, but a single eyebrow raises to indicate that they're listening. her continuation, however, has them hesitating, making them lose the beat of the song and miss a thread of rhythm notes. high score run lost, and the game now the less interesting thing going on, the pause button is tapped and byan finally lowers the phone, their eyes flitting up to lena's face.

ㅤㅤ" ...me? "ㅤthe incredulous response slips past their defences before they have the chance to stop it, before they have the chance to replace it with some snarky remark about lena's difficulty with dress shopping. maybe they shouldn't be so stunned by the invitation — she's obviously aware of their appreciation for fashion, given she's been their main source of encouragement and support to apply for the fashion program at the local college, so why wouldn't she suggest they come along? — but it's so abrupt, so out of the blue...

only once before has anyone ever asked them to come dress shopping with them. a girl they'd been friends with forever ago, who had also been aware of their appreciation for more feminine clothing despite them not having much opportunity to wear any of it at the time. she'd said she wanted their help picking something cute, suggested that they could even try on a few dresses themself, if they wanted. still, they can remember the bubbling excitement they'd felt as the weekend had approached. ...just as vividly as they remember the horror of her mom calling their foster parents at the time to arrange a pickup time, and the look on their foster father's face while he was on the phone.

ㅤthey hadn't been allowed to go, but that was the most mild of the consequences which had followed.

gaze quickly drops back to the phone laid out on the table, one finger busying itself with menus to close out of their game session, and byan clears their throat in a weak attempt at downplaying their initial reaction.

ㅤㅤ" i mean, our styles're pretty different. "ㅤan excuse, entirely to cover for their surprise — their fashion choices are drastically different, but that's never stopped byan from finding clothes that suit another's taste before.ㅤ" most people wouldn't trust me to find somethin' within their comfort zone. but— "

lips twitch, and a teasing smirk that doesn't quite reach their eyes spreads as they lift their attention to lena once more.

ㅤㅤ" y'never have struck me as the sort to care much for dresses. feel like you prob'ly do need all the help you can get. "ㅤthe more they speak, a playful lilt in their voice, the more they return to the present, and the more their features warm as the enthusiasm finally finds its way in. the idea of going to look at dresses with lena, to help her pick one out for whatever event it is that she has coming up, it sounds like fun. to finally have that opportunity which had once been torn from them extended to them all over again, this time with no one to keep them from it... it's kind of exciting. more so than they want to let on, of course, even in front of someone like lena. more careful now in how they present their eagerness, especially after such a lapse in control in all their shock, their grin is still genuine, if also bit suppressed.

ㅤㅤ" yeah, sure. haven't got anything goin' on tomorrow anyway, so why not? but, uh... unless you got a stash'a hidden heels 'round here that i don't know about, "ㅤwhich is unlikely, considering they've snooped pretty thoroughly through her entire apartment,ㅤ" we should take a peek at some shoes, too. legally i cannot let you leave the house wearin' sneakers with a dress. "

[doodleoogles]

Dec 1st

"Don't say anything else." She stopped me mid-sentence, as she pull a cigarette from her purse. "That's not going to work" was all she could say before lighting the cancer stick.

I stared at the half empty bottle of beer I was holding. She knows me too well. Years of friendship meant countless stories about life, love and everything in between. She knew some of my exes, was there during certain downfalls and cheered on the blissful moments when we were still working together. I lost count of how many drinks we had when we celebrated the fun times and even more when things go haywire. We were both survivors in different areas of our lives. I guess that meant if there's one person who can tell what will really work for me when it comes to the guys I choose, it's her.

Of course it doesn't mean I couldn't decide for myself, matter of fact, I've made waaaay too many decisions on my own - some of those resulted in shattering lives of others, worse was my own. This time I wanted so bad to hear it from someone. Despite hearing the answers from other close friends, it's still slightly different when someone says it out loud - straight to my face and with such genuine stare.

"Definitely he could be on the road to changing himself and becoming a man that is long overdue for someone his age." She shrugged, "but then again, men knows no age. They can be over 40 and still think differently".

"True. Couldn't blame the family for being too supportive. That's a really healthy environment to grow up in." I said as I watch at the smoke from her cigarette billowing above our heads. "I told him he could've done something early on to try and give back to them. Not that it's mandatory"

"Or simply put, have some shame." her tone was firm. As a mother of four wonderful girls, I know she understood. "And surviving is not the kind of life to dream about. We should be living everyday. At this day and age, you simply couldn't be living without a stable source of income know what I mean?? Like an actual goddamn job. The reason he's taking all the time he needs is because there's a fallback, there's a support system just waiting to carry him back up if he fails. You'll never truly fight for a good life, if it is being spoonfed but for how long? Can you wait that long?"

I cannot. I felt my head ache for a bit. There is really no love anymore. That's not the person I fell for years ago. I never knew this side of him when we were close friends. If I'd known it, I never would've pursued him and risk ruining everything between us and our circle of friends. It was a mistake to try but how else can I find out what he's really like? I hate to break another good thing going on but then I think about what is actually making me happy in this relationship is not really him. It's the friends we have around us. As much as I want for things to stay the same, I have to admit the fact that they will not be. These people don't need to take sides but there will definitely be changes before everybody moves on.

It's the first night of December. The lights are bright from the Christmas decorations all around us. Christmas songs are playing in the background everywhere you turn. Almost everyone has this irritating lustrous look in their eyes. It's the season of long holidays, family get togethers, forgiveness, celebrations and here I am contemplating on how to break a heart with minimal casualties. I have always been selfish, needy, chaotic ball of a person. Even when my intentions are good, they always come out wrong.

I thought this time would be different but life, as always, have other plans....

[thecorvidrotation]

I posted 508 times in 2022

18 posts created (4%)

490 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@tyrianlynch

@gaybluesargent

@fromchaos

@pnrrish

@hypokeimena

I tagged 507 of my posts in 2022

#queue - 323 posts

#ronan - 173 posts

#gansey - 169 posts

#fanart - 149 posts

#text - 142 posts

#adam - 95 posts

#blue - 90 posts

#quote - 69 posts

#td3 - 63 posts

#declan - 58 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#adam: well as reluctant group-appointed dark chess entity. apparently. i decree that the first person to make sand chess hell gets 20 points

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

professionally (librarian) the trc misinformation trend unnerves me but personally. personally. it is so fucking funny oh my god

9 notes - Posted July 4, 2022

#4

dammit i heard a song the other day that made me feel ronan-feral and now i cannot for the life of me remember what it was

12 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

#3

probably gonna be a month before i get my hands on Greywaren so i’m gonna just say meaningless generalities about the dreamer trilogy that i can’t actually know or prove.

17 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

#2

i was rereading some of my old posts on a whim and now I’ve made myself deeply emotional about Gansey and his friends because like... I said once how in TRB, Ronan and Adam have this interesting dynamic where they still don’t seem to actually like each other very much, yet they understand each other much better than Gansey appears to understand either of them. I think there’s mutual recognition that they are each, at their cores, uncompromising; mutual comprehension that they can’t be shaped into anything other than what they are or (in Adam’s case especially) what they want to be. 

Adam and Ronan don’t appear to like each other much in TRB, but they respect each other – and Gansey respects them no less! He cares deeply about his friends, he trusts them more than anyone else, and he feels the least himself when he’s forced away from them. Gansey’s respect and love for his friends is undeniable.

Yet, he’s perpetually running headlong into their uncompromising natures. 

And it’s not that he’s unaware of who his friends are, it’s not that he’s consciously trying to force them to be what they’re not. No, what’s kicking me in the heart today is that “fixing things,” smoothing things over and making it all look okay, is how Gansey was taught to care. 

Gansey’s first instinct, always, whether it’s his own actions or someone else’s life, is to reduce the amount of fuss and commotion. This is his anxiety and his masking, this is how his WASP family operates. “Fixing” the problem without actually addressing the cause, hiding the issue, smoothing things over for polite company, minimizing the impact, that IS the way the Ganseys show that they care. WASPs are deeply subtextual in how they express a lot of feelings (source: knowing my WASP-adjacent mom for my whole life and still learning how to correctly interpret her many layers of subtext). Care is often implicit, communicated quietly through actions but rarely expressed outright. 

The difference between Gansey and his family is that his family fundamentally doesn’t understand him, making their care for him very abstract at best and disconnected from the reality of who he is, while Gansey’s love for his friends is deep and true. When Gansey tries to “fix” Adam or Ronan’s lives, he’s not being his parents in intention – he’s NOT merely trying to sweep the truth under the rug to hide something difficult from polite company. He is truly, genuinely, attempting to help, and he means well. But he still emulates his parents’ in actions, because it’s what he knows how to do. 

And that’s where the critical miscommunication lies: Because Gansey’s friends can’t see gestures that so run counter to who they are as expressions of care, and Gansey can’t (yet) recognize that he’s copying the same behaviors that have made him feel so stifled in his own family. And thus his confusion and anxiety, as his gestures are rejected, is genuine as well.

95 notes - Posted September 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

there’s almost no way that Stief would leak major top-shelf plot spoilers on social media because (1) that’s unhinged (2) Scholastic’s publicity team WILL hunt her for sport over it if she did, but the implications of Adam asking Ronan if he’s the Lace NOT being a major plot spoiler are still absolutely BANANAS. like good golly what’s the wild ride we’re gonna go on just to get to the point where Adam feels like he has to ask that and it’s NOT EVEN the cornerstone of the plot???? cannot wait to absolutely lose it reading this book.

123 notes - Posted July 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[fadinglights]

she’s  used  to  being  accused  of  the  one  that  burnt  everything  down,  but  his  words  are  fond  with  gratitude.  it  strikes  her  how  far  she  has  come,  from  too  eager  to  ruin  everything  good  to  being  gentle  to  both  of  their  hearts.  “well,  my  mom  doesn’t  call  me  her  little  firecracker  without  reason.”  she  opts  instead,  chuckling  lightly.  “you  couldn't  have  done  it  without  your  already  amazing  talent,  either.”  it  was  a  shame  that  the  chance  slipped  away  from  him  years  ago,  but  life  is  full  of  possibilities  and  sometimes  the  stars  do  align  again  for  the  right  person.  her  smile  is  fond  when  he  speaks  with  conviction  about  protecting  their  relationship.  she  knows  many  artists  that  would  choose  to  yield  instead  and  she  cannot  blame  them  —  it  is  terrifying  when  one’s  career  is  tied  to  how  well  they  are  liked,  instead  of  talent  alone.  while  it  applies  to  her  job  to  an  extent,  the  pressure  on  her  shoulders  is  obviously  less.  her  skin  becomes  flushed  under  his  teasing  touches,  making  it  harder  to  focus  on  their  discussion.  “i’ll  save  you  some.  you’re  the  one  with  the  biggest  sweet  tooth.”  in  the  family.  it  is  dizzying  to  think  that  he’s  become  such  a  regular  at  their  family  dinner  that  they  consider  him  one  of  them.  it  has  never  happened  to  any  of  her  past  relationships.  while  it  helped  that  joonho  and  seonho  were  great  friends  first,  it  is  still  strange  how  much  she  isn’t  resistant  to  the  idea.  she  likes  the  sight  of  them  together  at  the  dining  table,  even  if  the  endless  teasing  comes  with  it.  “how  can  you  guard  me  when  you  won’t  be  there  until  dessert?”  it  is  not  an  accusation,  but  a  genuine  question.  “should  i  just  wait  until  when  you  get  dropped  off?”  she  covers  her  face  again  when  she  thinks  about  how  much  more  ruthless  it  will  be  this  time  with  the  publicised  love  letter  and  songs  that  allude  to  their  bond.  her  heart  beats  faster  from  the  proximity  and  his  inviting  hands  over  the  fabric  of  her  skirt.  shivers  run  down  her  neck  from  the  lips  against  her  ear.  she  leans  in,  with  full  intention  to  take  him  up  on  his  offer.  “guess  we  should  make  the  most  out  of  it,  hm?”  she  whispers  over  his  lips,  fingers  ghosting  over  his  jaw  before  she  captures  his  mouth  in  an  eager  kiss.  maybe  there’s  been  enough  talking  about  how  much  she’s  missed  him.  maybe  it’s  time  to  show  him.  

“You were the one that lit the fire,” Seonho insists, and she had provided him the spark that he needed to move forward. While he would argue that he had been the one to follow her and her initial trail of success, he’s not going to fight her on it when the moment they are having is so monumental. A testament to both of their wills. “I couldn’t have done any of it without you.” He wiggles, a pleased flush tickling his cheeks. All he wants is to continue to make her proud. His determination has never been so cemented, the muscles of his face starting to strain due to how his wide grin refused to budge. “Thanks. They know how established our relationship is, and that I wasn’t going to do anything to jeopardize it for the sake of PR.” While they would not be happy with him if he were to do anything sordid with Jules in public, he can be discreet when it comes to their public displays of affection, something he’s learned over time to be more mindful of anyway since his girlfriend has historically been more subtle than him. Though since they are sequestered in her apartment, Seonho doesn’t hold back, his hand enclosing around her thigh and applying pressure. Mindful eyes watch her expression, his smile morphing into something a bit more coy. He displays his love openly, and he is unabashed about it. “I’ll be a little late to dinner,” He regrets to inform her, scooting until their thighs touch. “I hope to be able to roll up before dessert. Especially if Joonho is bringing one of his cakes.” He has a full schedule with promotions leading up to the album drop. “I’ll guard you from their teasing. I don’t mind taking the brunt of it.” Leaning his head down, his lips brush against the shell of her ear, “I know we both have been busy and will be for awhile,” The price of their shared success has been less time together, and while it’s worth it, he wants to monopolize on the chance to be alone, “but I don’t have anywhere that I need to be tonight…” His free hand cups her hip, thumb digging into the bone.