#genuinely attached but it's fine!
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Ceramic/Fox :D
Info as a magical creature:
KIRAMIX is an animated ceramic elemental with an ability to adapt its element based on what is inserted inside its pot like back.
The shape of it is stiff and hard like a baked clay but it can move its segments any way it wants, often mimicking the animal or creature the form is based off of.
It can project and shoot out applied elements from it's "neck" hole, as long as the item that holds elemental properties sits inside it.
Kiramix comes in various natural colors but is most often seen with custom ones, as well as different patterns that can be changed by the artists any time they wish.
This elemental is sturdy but it can break or take damage, thus could and should be taken for repairs, prolonging its life a little more.
:
Additional info if adopted as a Fakemon:
Kiramix: Kit + ceramic + mix Rock + ??? (type adds when the Plate, Gem or Stone is inserted)
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Link to the ko-fi will be added in the reblog if asker does not buy the adopt first!
#creature#design#fakemon#adopt#fox#elemental#october design challenge#I love this one so much!#genuinely attached but it's fine!#it's just my recent cravings for sculpting talking hahaha!#also chipper let me know if you want this fella or nah!
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thinking about when guts sent a bunch of his men directly into zodd's meat grinder without even knowing demons like him existed. and that moment after the fight where casca runs to griffith unconscious on the floor and tells guts it's all his fault. and the time gambino tells him he's bad luck and should have died instead. and about how he tells griffith he cares about his men, and how casca doesn't seem to see it. and the time guts is thinking about casca telling him it's all his fault (after he got griffith hurt) and then griffith comes to him and says (like it's nothing) do i need to give a reason every time i come to save you? or whatever. like he's worth it. like he's worth dying for, and like it can be a choice people make because they value you. like he's a good luck charm, like griffith needs him to reach his goals, his full potential. like griffith is not enough to make it without him. like griffith finds out when guts leaves. fuckin.g gnawing someone else's legs off because i still need mine to run into traffic
#so guess who's rewatching berserk 1997 lol#berserk#i hate griffith i hate him i hate him he's bad i hate him (<- deeply tragically attached to him. im so not normal about him it's fucked)#aghhh can't wait until break so i can read more. i've ended up just consuming the golden age arc over and over for various reasons#and it's so good it fucking rules i just need to keep reading past that too bc that's Also good#and i have! i just have more to read oh hey it's midnight my paper's due haha#(it's fine it doesn't matter genuinely i will be fine)#anyway my older sibling's been buying those bigass tomes they sell and he got a bunch more a while back so like. more to read more to read#also side note but they smell so fucking good it's actually unfair#but anyway i keep on being like nooo i gotta go start over so i can get the momentum and then i get brainstuck/distracted and don't actuall#get very far past the lost children subarc (which i've read i think 1.5 times now)#ANYWYA. berserk good. no i don't ever make content for it but every like 4 months or so it infects me quietly
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i got so sick of feeling like a third wheel and hearing every other banter w lucanis and neve being some flirty horny shit, that i just. stopped putting them in the same party. that shit just got annoying.
and youre telling me THEYRE LIKE THAT EVEN IF YOURE ROMANCING ONE OF THEM?
BIOWARE THATS INSANE
#dragon age the veilguard#im fine w taash and hardingtho sometimes i also was like GET A ROOM#w them as well#lucanis and neve are relentless however#genuinely feels like the writers got so attached to the idea of their OTP!!!!!#that they forgot to put the romance in for the player#the romance is kinda lacking in this game#and then to find out that lucanis and neve have very little?#but then have this w each other constantly??#come the fuck on
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Atp it’s gotta be something abt me
#why do I only ever get the guys who send mixed signals#why can’t I get a boy who actually seeks me out#also it would be fine if these guys didn’t get me to care about them#but to make me care#and then make me feel like you never liked me at all?????#what the genuine fuck#I mean atp it’s gotta be something up with my attachment style#or the type of guys I go after#I don’t know anymore#but what an asshole move#to switch up so drastically and so fast#and how dare a BOY!!! a MAN!!!! make me feel so stupid???? I’m not stupid#it’s so over
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am i anxiously attached or is my intuition of someone pulling away in favor of someone else just always fucking dead on.
#mari is irrelevant#like genuinely i don’t think im anxious attached i think im secure attached and really good at reading people#bc i will assume everything is fine and going well and communicate regularly until i catch a weird vibe#and usually the vibe is correct. i am not scared of pushing people away by being overbearing bc if they think i am then thats their problem#like i don’t try to be overbearing i literally am just honest about my feelings#at the very least i think i was securely attached until i met my ex and he started being avoidant bc he was cheating#and when he was being avoidant i got anxious bc i knew something was wrong. but now that it’s broken off and im done ruminating#i don’t think i could ever worry abt someone that much again unless they express the same worry over me#because things should be reciprocated in a relationship. that’s the entire point#so anyway. secure attachment for the fucking win
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(:
'i wanna have sex' no you wanna have a close intimate human connection and associate that with a need for sex/feel like you owe the other person sex. I'm not asexual and I do want to have sex kinda but way more than that I wanna have close intimate platonic connections because I love those.
#moodboard#genuine human connection#platonic love#people are so beautiful#im only slightly high#i just wanna fall in love#or maybe have sex#i think the reason why when i get attached to people/people take care of me i want to sleep with them a bit#is because the only adult who cared about me when i was a kid#did bad stuff#iykwim#but like#i don't actually really wanna sleep with them#i would if they wanted to#but like maybe that's bad#is that bad#idk#i just want to be loved#maybe it's an attention issue#like i want all the attention#or maybe it's that they look so happy#and i wanna be part of that happiness#cause ive only ever been with people#who kinda only wanted to make out with me#which is fine#but the quiet platonic intimacy of sharing smokes#and having an arm wrapped around you when you lean on their shoulder#and being ok with leaning on their shoulder#fuck i feel alive and dead#and like im going to die but for the first time in forever i don't want to
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anyway the short lived idealisation of my boss is finally dying thank god turns out she is just random person not my new best friend my bad
#i like her fine ofc but she is just a boss lol i think i really got attached to her a bit bc she was the first#person to be really nice to me in ages like genuinely
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parting thoughts on ragna crimson (first cour)
i think it was... the first episode? that i didn't really vibe with. felt like a decent enough fantasy, but unremarkable in just about every way
THEN A WEIRD GUY APPEAR
iirc it wasn't until the second week that we really met crimson, which is kind of a shame because imo the show doesn't really start to come together until then. i like ragna well enough, but it's really the combination of the two of them that compels me
always love a duo where they have the same goal, but drastically different personalities/values/modes of operation/etc
always extra love a duo that's like "team up with me, a dragon, to kill all dragons then once we've achieved our goal you'll kill me too"
(like vanoe but with dragons. i think. my memories of vnc are actually very hazy)
and always extra extra love when ayu gets to just do his thing, playing guys who are girls who are guys who are etc etc etc
it's certainly not the best of the season, and still overall fairly unremarkable imo, but also not really bad in any way. if there's one thing i find lackluster i guess it's that i feel like they don't lean enough into this... pseudo-past life thing that ragna has going on (with the powers and presumably memories of his 'older self' passed down to him)
like ragna is still more or less his 'normal' self in terms of personality, which is fine, he's got a fun enough personality, but if he had some like... old man tendencies mixed in there, or if we saw more of his memories with crimson maybe? i don't know, just feels like something more could have been done with that fusion of past and present (or rather future and present)
looking forward to the second cour but at the same time... hoping this series won't be too long lol
#crab watches#ragna crimson#parting thoughts#i feel like... this isn't really a criticism but#much like vnc i feel like the main draw for me here is the Final battle#where it goes from ragna and crimson to ragna vs crimson#so it feels like the type of series that really shouldn't be dragged out for too long#unless each of the fights are going to be genuinely exceptional (which they're... not)#(like they're not bad. they're fine. but it's no snv)#anyway i guess it's just. the appeal of this kind of set-up (to me) is seeing these fools work together#possibly get attached#and have a very dramatic/emotional/well-choreographed final fight#toxic doomed yaoi and all that#but ragna and crimson don't really seem to be going in that direction like there's no fondness there lmao#which i actually like!! it's a bit unexpected and makes their dynamic fun in a refreshing way#they're working together but fully committed to fucking hating each other (or at best Not Caring about each other) and i love that for them#but it's just like. well if there's not going to be some intense character/relationship development#then the enjoyment of the series hinges all on the fights which are okay but not Spectacular#so... basically i'm still interested for now but don't think that interest would last for more than like 18 volumes max#and seeing as the manga is already 13 volumes and still counting... well we'll see
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ARURGRGRHHHHH
#CLAWING AT THE WALLSSSS i havent been this invested in a pairing in so long but this time its PERSONAL.#they make me insane ur honour#im both breq (autism coded + not used to being loved SOBS) and also seivarden (pathetic lost puppy boyfriend gets too emotionally attached)#god bless five + mercy of kalr for bashing these 2 idiots heads together#ancillary justice#.diaries#everything abt this chapter rules. seivarden turning up in only underwear + gloves just to cuddle in medical#breq being like oh well guess im dying in space! and genuinely so surprised when LITERALLY EVERYONE cares enough to rescue her#JUST GRRRRR. I wish I knew other ppl irl into this series so I could grab them by the shoulders and autism stare#also breqs 'ships dont love other ships' :( monologue and seivarden bashing breq/ships heads together bc theyre so stupid#and breq being like I dont need meds 😡😡 I'll be fine with crutches 😤😤😤😤 and immediately collapsing I love bullheaded idiots
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i promise one day i’ll stop going blah blah blah (that’s a kesha reference btw) but i had an odesta fic idea that i need to talk about bc i don’t think i’ll get around to writing it but i feel like it’d be fucking fire
okayyy so i really like exploring the codependent aspect of their relationship. even though i personally don’t think they met as kids, that’s a hc i use a lot bc
1) it’s gives them as much time together as possible (it’s what they deserve)
2) it gives us a larger timeline to see how they went from enjoying each others company to literally feeling like they’re surviving off of it. and that’s not to say that they don’t enjoy each others company anymore—it’s just that spending time apart stops being something they find annoying (as children, as friends, as two dorky 12/13 year olds whose #1 worry is finding a place to hang out without a chaperone breathing down their necks). now, as adults, the other’s absence is all-consuming. it burns
and that transition would probably start when finnick was reaped. it’s something their parents would recognize, i think, so i think they’d be more lenient with how much time they can spend together and for how long. and at first annie and finnick are happy about that, they think they hacked the system or something, but i think they’d realize pretty soon that it’s not enough. annie still has nightmares about finnick being reaped/in the arena and finnick spends annie’s entire shift at her parents store literally just sitting there and helping when needed and they still can’t sleep without the other person breathing their stank sour morning breath into their face. their parents think it’s sappy at best and so fucking dramatic at worst. it’s obviously starting to get bad, and it gets worse when finnick turns 16
then, when annie is 18, it gets to the point of no return (or so it seems… we all know annie raises her kid without finnick by the end of the trilogy). not being able to sleep very well without the other is nothing new. but annie wont eat if he’s not sitting right next to her. finnick cant sleep if he’s in bed and she’s still doing something downstairs… or in the bathroom that’s literally adjoined to their room. they always liked cuddling, but it’s terrifying—like, terrifying—when one of them wakes up and the other isn’t within arms reach. they always hated when someone (read: their parents) put a halt to all their hangouts, but now finnick can only spend so much time away from her before he genuinely (like… genuinely) contemplates killing himself
and that’s really ugly. codependency is very ugly, and i think i kinda leaned too much into the sappiness perspective and downplayed a lot of their habits in the longfic about them, so i am literally fucking feening to go more into depth about that. which i absolutely already did here (i didn’t mean for this post to get so long) but i would love to highlight certain moments of their relationship and use that as a buildup for why finnick reacted the way he did in 13. like, annie obviously wasn’t the only reason he was behaving like that (he has his own trauma that he’s been suppressing for the last 10 years even without the rebellion being in the picture) but the way katniss described him after his reunion with annie is so jarring
#long post#i’m sorry for all the italics but i feel like saying things like “ill just kms ig” has become so casual#and i wanted to be clear that if you’re that attached to someone it’s literally not a fucking joke#like u actually do feel like ur rotting without them and i can’t even imagine how those feelings would be heightened for annie and finnick#i don’t know please don’t hate me for being corny it’s not my fault i’m a fire sign#anyway u know how when u were little kids and ur parents would pick u up from ur besties house#so then you’d hide somewhere like “if they can’t find us i’ll never have to leave“#they very much did that as kids#and then post 65th but pre-70th they also did that but their parents would genuinely start tweaking bc they hid so well#anyway does this make sense i’m feeling particularly emotional on this fine saturday afternoon
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Feeling very out of place with people, the world. I don't know. Like I talk too much but end up being quiet at the wrong times.
#i so desperately wish to be taken seriously#i am so tired of sharing myself#i just wish for some form of compliment that's genuine#not out of pity#not attached to a joke#not an attempt at flirting#i wish i didn't feel alone all the time#but i keep being all jokey because i hate the vulnerability of someone wondering what's wrong#i don't know how to explain that this is just the way i am#i don't think anything can fix that#and i don't want people to feel like they need to try#and i don't want to burden people with the full weight of it all#because it is heavy#i have genuinely never told anyone ever the full extent of all the things that have gone wrong in my life#i'm technically celibate y'know and that's because i don't like people using me#but i keep trying to be someone to be used for fear that i will be forgotten the moment i can't provide entertainment#i'm not really that funny anyway i think#because i get carried away and end up more annoying when i finally have the attention i crave#but am too scared to voice that i need#sorry i'm being mentally ill on the dash#i promise i'll be fine#just overthink when i'm tired and need to get the thoughts out somewhere so i can rest#i'm actually having an alright time drawing#feel like my skills are really improving with just this one piece of art#i also feel like a weight has been lifted off me just from typing this out#yeah#i'm alright#thorn talks
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Okay after freaking out about alhaitham it’s time to be neurotic again that girl is freaking me out sm :D
#like bro I don’t understand wallah I don’t#I’m so confused and it’s literally ruining everything#dora daily#AND I NEVER SAY WALLAH ABOUT ANYTHING THIS IS HOW BAD ITS RUINING ME AAAAAAH#on one hand she’s ignoring me on the other she isn’t and she genuinely doesn’t see any of my posts#on the other she just forgot#ALL OF WHICH ARE SHIT OPTIONS#IT ISNT FAIR#i even tried liking her posts to show her yo I’m alive in case she didn’t see#I TRIED SENDING HER AN ASK ABOUT SOMETHING WEEKS AGO AND SHE DIDNT REPLY#I am trying so freaking hard and it is not working#and it’s fucking me up because what the fuck did I even do man#I didn’t do anything different#why do people ALWAYS do this I don’t fucking get it#it would’ve been much kinder if she just dropped me from the beginning when I was so hesitant with her#before I got so attached because what she’s doing right now is literally not only torture but so incredibly cruel#like I was getting obsessed with this one girl at work once but she ghosted me relatively early on in the very beginning stages of my#obsession coming into fruition and guess what IM TOTALLY FINE WITH IT NOW#BUT SHE LET THE RELATIONSHIP DEVELOP FOR MONTHS#then introduced a third party then now she doesn’t even acknowledge me#she is making me sewerslidal and it’s literally ruining everything#any time I would try to study I think of her and it freaks me out#every time I try to focus I think of her and it freaks me out#even when I go to sleep bro#like 8 ish weeks ago or so it literally was making me so messed up that if I hadn’t gone outside for a necessary out of uni task then my dad#taking me sight seeing in said area I genuinely don’t know what would have happened#because the level of rage I felt or whatever it was#was the most insane form of genuine torture ever#THIS WHOLE POST SEEMS NEUROTIC AND I’m just like I don’t even know anymore man#but what do I even do atp like bro
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i’m at the point where i can villager hunt so i got a plot last night and started hunting, wasn’t finding anyone, fell asleep. After work today i time travelled to what i thought was the same day so the plot wouldn’t autofill and i could keep hunting. Well idk wtf happened but i time traveled back in time, the plot autofilled, and i lost all of the news articles in the nintendo app i’ve had since day 1
#i am genuinely devastated ive been sitting in bed for two hours sulking#i dont even want to play anymore i was being SO careful not to time travel so i could have those newspapers#they had all the memories of every achievement and they’re just gone#i got tbone too who is like… fine whatever but not he is attached to this mistake and im gona hate him through no fault of his own#now*#acnh#new island
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Honestly my headcanoning for The Cursing of Chateau Castle lore continues cooking in my brain like I got more for it but it's all in the microwave for now. Like I got a whole ass storyline for Pierre and Lady Irene. With how hardcore hc-ing I am bout these characters, it makes it seem like they're my OCs but no they're like-- my half-children I think? isat is the other parent of course. I got nothing else to go off of in regards to the chateau trio but the small crumbs and a dream.
#aria rants#like bout pierre's home life being The Worst ever. and like the internal monologue he'd have after sacrificing their castle#imagine going through all that ordeal. joining the supposed ''heroes' party'' and then betraying The Hero aka josephandre#all for your own family to recognize you as being worthy of being a part of the family. so that you can be recognized as a noble#but in the end it wasnt enough. he wasnt happy. in the end pierre was happiest with josephandre and the others so he#went around. turned their back on the ppl he has spent majority of their life proving their own worth to go back and save#the first genuine friend he ever had in ages and the cost of that being the very castle they wanted to be a part of#so in the end. he never got to actually be called ''lord'' he didnt have a place in the family. he lost the castle#but thats fine anyway cuz he found a home with josephandre and the others BUT THEN!!! he apparently got into a near-death#experience like how horrible is that??? to have your title stripped away from you from birth and then abandon the#one chance and opportunity to have that title for the sake of saving your friend and realizing that it'd be better to just be#with them instead but before that moment can even sink in well enough-- YOU'RE NOW ON THE EDGE OF DEATH!#yea pierre is turning out to be my fave character from like-- that mentions of them betraying the party and then#sacrificing their own castle to save josephandre and then the fate of them possibly dying near the end of the series#like that guy went THROUGH IT. not as much as josephandre but he really did just went through it and im like-- out here#using my brain power to the maximum in filling in the blanks cuz i got attached to 3 characters with only a name and#some information. i got some more in regards to lady irene and josephandre too btw like-- this is for you mirabelle#im spreading the cursing of chateau castle propaganda as best as i can with the crumbs im given
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okay so he does hate me
and they tell me im paranoid
#pfft#hes like#fine#i am#not#OH WELL#my#heart hurts#and my throats all lump and tuvky#oh god#its oke of those#WHY DO I CARE SO MUCH??#ive talked to him#for like#a few werks#that is it#god stop getting so attached to everyone#fucking weirdo#:(#i sent him a sorry#but he#1. didnt see it#which is cair because i send him alot of things he doesnt respond to#maybe he just wasnted me to dtop#if he wouldve just told me i genuinely would have stopped#or 2. is ignorinh it which is really really fair#oh i hate everything
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she has pretty hands :)
DONT SAY THIS RN
#she does have pretty hands i agree 😭 shes genuinely so beautiful but#yh im trying ti get over her#im basically over her ?? idk#however . leading 2 other ppl on for 1.5 yr situationships is insane#god i just had the most insane day w her#...at least it was productive#we held hands for like 2hrs today can confirm they are pretty and soft . she said girlie besties every 2 mins to make sure i didnt forget#that it meant nothing and also i stroked her hair and we leaned agaisnt each orher for a v long train ride#...once again she reminded me repeatedly to not get attached and that she had no romantic attachment to it and we are in fact just besties x#like REPEATEDLY !!! so many times ! anyway#i laughed so so much today#this is all so absurd and funny#im home in bed now and i feel suspense ?? but otherwise fine?#idk if im rly resilient and this is genuinely this funny or if i will end up feeling many emotions tmrw#ah well#...anyway yeah she has very pretty hands and a very pretty face
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