#like genuinely i don’t think im anxious attached i think im secure attached and really good at reading people

[supergraphicultramoderngirl]

am i anxiously attached or is my intuition of someone pulling away in favor of someone else just always fucking dead on.

[lovelylonelymuse]

2:15 am

You are my favorite person. You have become the first person I think to tell news to. You do make me happy. But you also make me so…insurmountably sad and confused. I don’t think you’re a bad person, or that you do it on purpose. At this point I’m just not sure you are emotionally willing to show up for me in the ways you claim to want to. Maybe you aren’t capable, and that’s not your fault. I’m so sorry if you ever felt like you couldn’t express your emotions or that they didn’t matter to people they should have mattered to. I really wanna tell you that all of this is okay, but it’s not. Your words and your actions don’t match up and it is deeply painful.

I want so badly to believe you when you say things to me, but then…you disappear or seem so cold and uninterested with no explanation, and that is triggering for me. My triggers are my own problem and my own responsibility, and I do my best to keep it in check, but sometimes I fall short. I’m sorry for that. I know it can be too much.

We have a pretty severe communication problem which usually ends in exactly this: me typing out my unbelievably loud feelings at 3 am and you getting overwhelmed because it’s a novel. But a lot of the time I don’t feel like I can openly communicate with you without you disappearing and avoiding whatever it was for days on end…I know that sounds a little harsh and critical but I’m not trying to be. I’m just trying to be honest.

I never expected you to be as disgustingly open and vulnerable as I am. Most people aren’t this way. I don’t know how to be any other way. I didn’t expect you to just hand over your trust or your time or your heart. I was willing to try and earn that. I just never felt like anything I did was good enough. I didn’t expect instant serious commitment or that we needed to be attached to each other 24/7. I like talking to you, I’m genuinely interested in what makes you you and how you live your life. I think a big part of my problem with being too much is that you do keep yourself so closed off from me, so when do share things with me it’s exciting and I just always want more of that. I apologize for that too.

I am…a lot. We both know that. I can be impulsive and thoughtless, reckless and selfish and loud and basically…insane. But im also really capable of truly, deeply loving someone, and being a safe space. I will always be that for you, just in a different sense i suppose.

I do wish we could figure this out. I wish I was more secure, less anxious and messy. I wish you felt safe and comfortable and able to trust me, and talk to me. I’m so sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t. I will always regret that.

This isn’t me leaving, I’m not doing that again. This isn’t me trying to attack you. I’m always going to be here for you and I’m always going to love and care for you. I just…can’t take the “you seem to want me one day, you don’t the next” anymore and I’m so sorry for that... I told you a few weeks ago that we could be friends who check in if that’s what you want/feel more comfortable with, and we can. But I think I need to draw some pretty severe boundaries with you, and god I hate that so much… this is turning out to be so much longer than I thought and I apologize for that too. I wasn’t sure when we would speak again and sending you all of this would be absolutely insane. being as this is where we started, it seemed fitting.

lol I’m gonna sleep now, okay byyyyyyeeeeee 🖤

[yesimwriting]

Hi! I have been having an off day I’m kinda exhausted and anxious slightly snappy haha. I was wondering how would the darkling react to an anxious reader that he cares about. 😊

a/n ive been a little MIA but im working i promise!! i felt really apathetic about writing for awhile bc of some personal stuff but ive been trying to get back into it bc im genuinely happier when i write :)

--

- ok so i think how he reacts to an anxious person that he cares about depends on where you're at in the relationship,, which might be kinda a 'duh' but it needs to be said for how im setting this up lol

- bc if he's kinda just starting to figure out his feelings, i think he'd be so surprised by how much he cares that he has to hold back his immediate reactions, bc he may have his faults but he's def protective once he realizes something is affecting/hurting the person he sees as the sun

- that protectiveness stems from wanting to be what makes you happy, he wants to feel like he's your shelter so that he feels like he's good enough for you. He wants you to be happy so he can feel your warmth but he also really wants the redemptive feeling that comes from knowing that he's your protector in a way.

- he wants to protect and make you happy so bad, sometimes you need to be like 'umm...i really appreciate that you want to torture the person that bumped into me a little too hard on a bad day,, but maybe let's not??' especially if you are still in that phase where he kinda scares/intimidates you bc you know him more as the General

- not only are his more over the top reactions a little scary bc you don't want to offend him by not wanting to talk about it to avoid blowing the situation up,, they're also confusing

- bc you had no idea he cared if you lived or died let alone cared if you were nervous or not?? but sometimes it makes you feel really comforted, bc if someone as hardened as the darkling can care that much about how youre feeling than you can't be as awful as you're feeling

- and it's also comforting bc he's clearly strong and powerful and when he puts a hand on your shoulder and stares at you like you're the only tangible thing in the world and telling you that he's not going to let anything happen to you,, the rational part of your anxiety is appeased to say the least.

- alright but that's at like the first stage of the relationship for him, bc i feel like he def has like twenty stages he goes through before finally being in a committed relationship bc even though he wants an attachment and love so badly bc he hates his eternal loneliness, he has a lot of layers to work through before he feels secure enough in you as a person to risk vulnerability

- so if he's at the point where he's accepted what he feels for you,, but has yet to really act on it, this is where he starts to give himself away a little

- like you'll mention being stressed about training in the Little Palace, or not getting along with someone and he immediately jumps to encouraging you. It's kinda funny bc at first he seems like he's just trying to be a supportive pal bc at this point ur sorta friendly (at least more friendly than anyone else is with the darkling) but then he kinda losses himself in talking about how amazing you are.

- and if youre feeling anxiety/bad bc of someone in particular, you better not mention their name unless you're 100 percent sure you're furious at them.

- sometimes it causes some strain bc you don't necessarily want him to get involved, and he's not above lowkey guilting you into telling him the full story, but it's not really intentional. He just starts talking about how much trust he puts in you and you just let the little things go after making him promise to leave things alone.

- if your anxiety is general,, or just bc of a. bunch of little things and he's at a point in which he's accepted how much he cares about you but has not told you yet,, he'll try to hide how soft he feels, but sometimes he slips up.

- honestly, i wouldn't be surprised if a really big relationship milestone came from that.

- like you crying one night and the darkling finding you, and then him taking you back to your room and promising to stay so that you don't have to feel alone and then the next morning you wake up and he's holding you

- at first ur like ?? but he acts so normal you're like maybe that can be platonic? but then it starts happening more and more and neither of you mention it and then when you two finally do get together youre like 'ohh? im stupid'

- and if your anxiety comes from your worry about him?? wow--he'll have to stop himself from kissing you

- this is a man who is so used to being hated/feared that the concept of someone worrying about him so much they physically don't feel well?? that would hit him STRAIGHT in the chest, and he'd be so quick to pull you to him, and then you'd be like--are you ok??

- wouldn't be surprised if that's how you found out he had feelings for you,, like he'd say something like "i didnt know the brightest star in the sky could want to protect the darkness instead of banish it. You're the brightest light I've ever known, it was more than enough for me that you weren't repulsed by my darkness...and now..."

- anyways,, if you were already established together and you were anxious, he would have no need to hold back

- if he notices your hesitant to let him 'help' he might do a thing or two to reduce sources of your stress without telling you...which sometimes leads to you getting a little mad, but depending on how extreme his actions were, he normally smoothes it over quickly

- i mean,, it's just how he shows that he cares, he's never had someone that could snap their fingers and get rid of his adversaries or reschedule a thing or two to make his life easier

- he sees no harm in it,, and even though sometimes other people may give you a bit of a hard time bc of his evident favoritism,, you know it just means he cares

- if he goes really far, you're more willing to be mad at him, but honestly when youre upset all you want is to be near him bc there's nothing more comforting,, so you agree to hold off on arguing lol

- i mean there are always lines that get crossed, so there are times he cant charm himself out of your anger, but the longer youre together the more he tries to hold off on doing things that make you really angry,, unless he feels like the person really hurt you, then nothing can stop his anger

- if youre actually together he's much more quick to comfort you physically if youre feeling really anxious,, he'll kiss you everywhere until he's all you can think about, which works for when your anxious over small things

- if your problem is larger, he cant exactly kiss it away though i cant say that doesnt help but it's still comforting and relaxing bc duh,, so i feel like he's really touchy if youre upset

- kissing sometimes leads to other stuff,, but that should be its own fic/headcanon bc i have a secret head cannon that feeling needed or like the only one his partner has is a turn on for him bc it returns some of the power he feels like he gives up by letting his partner care about him

- might have to write that fic now that im thinking about it....

- if youre so anxious you dont want to be touched, it'll be a little harder for him, but if he reaches for you and you back away he'll try to talk you down and remind you that he's not going to let anything happen and as long as he's breathing he'll make sure you're okay

- if youre officially together and youre anxious about something small, he's actually surprisingly nice to talk to,, before you were close you felt like you were bothering him with small, insignificant things,, but once you know that he cares about you he's a patient listener bc he likes being really present with you when he can bc he's busy so often

- sometimes if youre worried or upset he jumps to anger towards the object of your distress before comfort, but once youre at the dating part, you know that that's just how he is, and anger is how he shows love in a way?? lol, so you just have to clearly tell him that you'd rather him stay with you then rush out and like smite someone, he'll stop and comfort you

- sometimes how much he cares makes him angry at himself bc he begins to question if he'd pick you/your happiness over his goal, if he can't convince himself that you'd never get in the way of that, he gets a little cold until he feels assured in his loyalties or at least assured in the fact that your happiness would never conflict with his goals

- that can happen at any point in your relationship,, i feel like it'd happen more when he's unsure about his feelings bc seeing how much he cares about someone that's nothing to him makes him want to banish his nerves

- overall though,, once he cares about you, whether he's fully accepted it or not, he'd burn the world down to make you feel okay again,, or stay in bed with you for awhile, or both--whatever you want, really

[babysizedfics]

Back at it again with a couple more HC prompts, which imma just dump in one, and you can pick which ones you want. Puddles with the kiddos, family baking sessions when both are regressed, Ro wanting attention whilst Logan is reading, so climbing all over his book, how their reactions to new stuffies differ, regressed versus non-regressed birthdays.... Etc... 👍

okokokokok buckle up everyone

Puddles:

this is the only one where i have to be like .. i don't think so :0 see virgil can get very nervous when it rains because he's so anxious about 'is it gonna storm? will there be thunder? will we be hit by lightning? will there be a flood? what if one of us slips and hurts our head??' that he just cannot relax enough to be able to jump around in puddles because 'WHAT IF I SLIP IM GONNA DIE' and the wetness on his skin sets off the wrong sensory feelings so jumping in muddy puddles is a no for him (as much as he loves peppa pig)

and roman is a fussy little thing, he may not care as much for his appearance when he's small but i think he will still be conscious enough to notice if he gets wet hair and muddy clothes - plus i feel like roman's mood is quite tied to the weather, on dark days he tends to fee a little more gloomy, ao again not sure about this especially if he wouldn't have his baby brother there with him

Baking:

OH BOY so roman is a great cook okay? like chef level he has honed his skills so that he can make romantic meals for handsome princes, but baking? nu uh, too technical, he ain't got time for that. Patton is the baker of the house and makes cookies and cupcakes way too often for Logan's liking (but secretly he loves them of course, he's just concerned for everybody's teeths) but both CGs will cook dinner when the boys are little

When the boys are regressed they're not allowed much in the kitchen anymore. after roman tried to make breakfast in bed for his CGs and started a very small but very real fire he has lost some kitchen rights (ficlet coming to you at some point perhaps) and is not allowed in the kitchen without at least one CG. even if he can switch so quickly between headspaces, he ends up either 1) too stubborn to come out of little space, or 2) a kittle bit clumsy when he comes out of it

but to make up for roman being upset by this slight loss of independence (he is a big kid after all) patton and he do weekly baking sessions! and there's always a theme. most recently they had animal crossing themed cupcakes, a little mermaid themed jello (not technically baking but roman wanted to but little fish gummies in the jelly), and... the next one is a secret because i might put it in chapter 7 (: in fact chapter 7 will feature the first instance of this tradition!!

virgil has pyrophobia (fear of fire) and so is never keen to be in the kitchen while there's food preparation going on (but he was allowed to help with the under the sea jello!!) so roman and pattons baking sessions are an excuse for mama and baby bonding time! the tradition didn't start until after virgil's separation anxiety from patton had eased up a little so luckily there's barely any tears

mama baby bonding time consists of but is not limited to: sitting on mama's lap, doing puzzles together, (vee trying to suck on a puzzle piece and crying when he's told not to), mama reading baby books to vee, vee touching all the textures and flaps in the baby books, snuggles

Ro wanting attention while Lo is reading:

this is 1000% canon!! later in the series logan will often be at work in his room and have the boys with him because patton is busy with something or another. they realise they really do need to keep working for thomas' sake but manage to integrate the boys' littlespaces into it. Eg. logan dangling baby plastic keys from one hand to amuse girgil while he's typing with the other

but when it's quiet time, when patton is in virgil's room because the baby is having a nap and papa wants to watch over him, when roman hasn't been little because he's been working or simply not in the mood earlier that day, when logan is just chilling, just reading a stephen hawking book in the living room, when he's literally just vibing, roman can and will launch himself into logan's lap sending the book flying and logan isn't allowed to tell him off because 'I'm little now! i want attention now!! hi mom!!!!'

New stuffies:

AHHHHHHHHH this this this is so so cute!!

roman never used to care much for soft toys before okay? before he was ever a little sure he appreciated disney action figures (he used them to block out scenes he wrote for theatre productions and screenplays and fanfiction) sure he always had a soft spot for Mrs Fluffybottom his childhood toy, but she always just sat on a shelf, he never fet the need to cuddle her or play with her

but when he realises he's little, when he starts playing with vee, when he sees how much vee cares about his soft animals, when patton and logan buy him a present to welcome him to the littlespace family and it's a golden teddy bear (soon to be named Aladdin) with big brown beady eyes and a satin crimson bow around its neck? yeah big kids love stuffies too

and now whenever roman is gifted a new toy (soft or otherwise) he essentially gets the zoomies!!! his brain is going a million miles a minute with all the game possibilities and with the excitement of NEW PRESENT!!! and with the happiness that his caregivers thought about him and he's been a good enough boy to deserve gifts?? yeah he's so so so excited he canNOT stand still he runs around the house for a whole hour flinging his new toy around (yeah he's a bit rough with them and there's been more than one torn limp or loose eye but he doesn't care it just shows how much they're loved!)

Now virgil: this boy is very very very emotionally attached to his stuffies. when he was a "dark side" he couldn't have much soft stuff because it just went against everything the household stood for and he couldn't risk the others finding out about how not-scary he really was, but he allowed himself a single stuffed rabbit that was easy to hide and that he loved with all of his being. it was his security blanket and his one item that could offer him comfort in a oanic attack and his only posession that he felt was true to him and not true to the scary facade he put up to scare thomas and the "light sides" into listening to him

without spoiling anything, that bunny was left in that house when he moved to the "light sides"

and in his new home virgil started collecting soft toys whenever he needed comfort. everytime he felt unwanted, every time he had an anxiety attack, everytime there was a thunderstorm predicted for the next week he would get himself a new soft toy because that was the only way he knew to comfort himself. needless to say he's got a pretty big collection now. you might think he became desensitized to new toys because of how many times he had gotten himself a new one, and you might be partly right.

that is until for the first time ever he is given a stuffie by someone else... when logan buys him a soft toy in apology for accidentally revealing his regression to everyone ((yes i am writing this fic!))

it wasn't really logan's fault, virgil should have been more aware he should have been more careful he should have hidden it all better but the logical side was guilt-ridden nonetheless. virgil hadn't expected much to be honest, the sincere apology was enough for him

but when logan blushed and shyly opened a box and handed him a black cat stuffie? virgil had to fight very very hard not to outright sob on the spot. he simply took it, thanked logan shakily, and prayed that logan didn't point out the fact that tears were falling onto the fluff of his new stuffed friend Jiji

now whenever he gets a new toy it's different than before - it's not because he's upset and needs comfort, it happens less often now but it's more special, it could be for a holiday or as a way of saying he's been very sweet or just because patton simply couldn't resist this one because look at its cute lil eyes! but each and everytime he knows when he is handed a new toy by one of his family members it really means 'i love you'

and he buries his face in its softness - it used to be to hide his tears, but now he just can't help but squeeze it tight and close and let the feeling of love wash over him

Birthdays:

yknow that episode of steven universe where steven wears a regal cape and a golden crown? yeah that's roman whether he's little or not

seriously this kid is very much the 'it's my birthweek!' type

lots of singing, lots of 'but i'm the birthday boy!!' to try to get thtings he really shouldn't be getting (like a third cookie) (and yes patton caves every single time) (patton is eventually banned from making decisions on romans behalf during his "birthweek")

there's not much difference at all between little romans birthday and big romans birthday, he's just an excitable boy whether he's a kiddo or not - this may or may not make the caregivers question whether maybe he actually was a little before virgil's regression was revealed

(irrelevant but patton definitely makes the pun 'you're a little? a little what? finish your sentences silly billy!')

virgil hates his birthday. hates it.

too much attention, too many things that could go wrong, too much pressure on it being a good day. what if his anxiety is bad that day? what if he doesn't want everyone watching him open presents? what if he's genuinely terrified that people think walking towards him with a big grin, singing at him, and carrying a cakeful of literal fire is a somehow a fun activity??

when he first moved into the house he made it very clear that he does not have a birthday so don't even try to throw him a party

naturally roman and patton were devastated, but after a failed attempt at getting virgil to enjoy his birthday they obeyed logan's request that they not try to push the idea on virgil any further

but the first birthday after they become a little family, it's a bit different

they don't push it, not at first, but virgil does wake up to patton already in his room and cooing at him adoringly , immediately sending him into his regressed headspace

then he's given a new soft toy. that wasn't so bad

then roman let him choose what disney film they watched. that wasnt bad either

then logan cuddled him for an hour and they might have fallen asleep together not noticing the smell of vanilla coming from the kitchen

then there was a new paci, a new rattle, another new soft toy, and cake cut up into tiny squares so he could nibble on it with his fingers

there was no loud singing no big surprises no bright lights or fire or anything else that he hated about birthdays

there was only love and toys and comfort. so virgil really didn't mind birthdays much after that

[tanthais]

Thoughts on ep 8 of Why R U

1. So the first thing we see coming into this episode is Fighter and Tutor kissing which are we even surprised at this point. Apparently this scene was a bit of improve from Saint and Zee but it seem extremely on par with their characters so kudos to them for that. Their whole scene was disgustingly cute and very much so just THEM if you know what I mean. It was a mix of horniness and cuteness and affection and just feelings. Fighter begging for kisses and kissing Tutor's finger was the softest shit no lie. And he brought up the beach trip which will basically be their boyfriend initiation we LOVE to see it.

2. Fighter's progress has made me so so proud. He has confronted things that are scary to him and now he's doing his damn best to make things right and amazing between him and Tutor. He's also a big softie like the lingering as he left Tutor's place and the soft cheek kiss and asking Tutor for the same. You could tell how happy Tutor was with Fighter's actions in those scene. And it's what Tutor deserves honestly.

3. The jealousy scene I think made sense and I actually love how it was handled. In most bl and even non bl things jealousy is left to build and handled in unhealthy and toxic ways. Tutor made sure to let Fighter know he was upset immediately and Fighter in response immediately comforted him. They talked and used their words (they grow up so fast :'( ) and the problem was handled then. Proud of both my boys for their growth.

4. Skip to when Saifah was reading Zon's novel we discover our boy is not good at hiding things and quite the terrible liar. We also get some more teasing and flirting and these two will seriously be the death of me. Can't stand them.

5. Saifah meeting Zon's parents. I immediately assumed from previews it would be about their relationship but it was only about the concert. I love that Saifah and Zon's mom automatically bond, and the dad seems supportive of him too. I feel like once Saifahzon are official it's going to result in Zon getting teased to death. Saifah is definitely going to be the favorite son (and probably brother too if Zol can help it)

6. Zon's little breakdown accompanied by Saifah's background music was a little funny to me but also kind of heartbreaking because Zon seemed really devastated. I understand where he's coming from. His parents seem to be holding him to a double standard what he loves they don't support but something that isn't even his passion they stand behind. I'm sure they have their reasons (probably liking that Zon seems to be close to someone and participating in activities since he's apparently a bit of a recluse)

7. Saifah did well at comforting Zon as he usually does. I think he's spent a lot of time observing Zon and seeing what makes him tick or upset and what he needs to feel better. I think he also hates to see the boy upset so he would do anything to make him happy again. He's Zon's number one fan and supporter and it really shows. I think this was also probably THAT moment for Zon. I think he knew he felt something for Saifah but his expression when Saifah tells him his writing is good. I think that was his realization that he was also in love.

8. The practice was pretty cute with all our chaotic side characters and you can tell how much Saifah's prescence calms Zon down. And I mean honestly same. I need a Saifah in my life.

9. The food scene was so cute. First off Sai bought Zon food. Second off the way he woke him up by threatening (and im pretty sure that was our actual first real kiss but you didn't hear it from me) to kiss him. Then Zon's adorable ass begging for Saifah's fried egg and Saifah caving because he's whipped. Then Zon just leaning all over Saifah and them teasing each other like the children they are. Also Zon tends to get angry when Sai doesn't take his side. Cute ass.

10. Next thing I want to cover is the scene where Saifah calms him down. Zon is obviously a very anxious character and it really shows right before the performance. We also get to see how close Saifah and Zon have gotten though. Zon seeks out Saifah for comfort in this situation and Saifah has learned how to read into what Zon needs. Be it help to breathe or a very tight and endearing hug. It's really sweet how they have found comfort and security within each other.

11. The concert went well and Zol obviously was excited as fuck. Zon thanking Saifah at the end and Saifah's my Zon. Yes baby he is yours.

12. So the scene we were all waiting a week for. First off their excited happiness at accomplishing their song was so CUTE. Saifah blowing on Zon's fingers was the most adorable. We stan. They seem to crave each other's touch because their hands were constantly on each other in that scene. Zon thanks Saifah and I believe it's really genuine. He also wonders why Saifah is so nice to him and Saifah's "well because you already have my heart." Then we get attacked by forehead kiss to nose nuzzles to nose kiss to the actual kiss.

13. I'm a bit paranoid and a skeptic so I got a little bit of off vibes from the last scene. I'm hoping to God it actually happened because I want my saifahzon to be happy.

14. On a side note towards our side couple. I think we got some more dewbluechamp love triangle. Dew went out to the car because Champ asked Blue to come with him. I see you. Then Dew also tied up Blue's hands which resulted in a champblue hug. And Dew and Blue just seem to have gotten a lot more peaceful with each other. So that's pretty cool.

15. My baby tanthai and japan were so strong throughout the episode even if they were more in the background. Tanthai writing Japan's name at the concert preparation. Them being attached at the hip at the actual concert. They are BOYFRIENDS.

16. Heard Zol may be a lesbian which would be cool

[finest-ruca-in-aztlan]

I’ve never felt like this before. everyday I wake up at 5:30am with my man. I make his breakfast and lunch- while he showers. It’s become our routine. I don’t even have to start getting ready until 6:30am. But because I want to spend more time with him and support him, I wake up and start my days with the love of my life. I try really hard to send him out the door feeling good. Even when things feel shaky with us.

I have abandonment issues. I’m scared every time I bring something hard up- or I’m unhappy with something- he’s going to leave.… but he never does.

To be fair- we’ve consistently been dating for 8ish months. Before that I hadn’t seen him in 4 years…and before that I spent maybe a few months with him but like not a whole lot. He was working graveyard and going to school. He made time for me.…

im Trying really hard to move from anxious attachment to secure attachment to hopefully no attachment. He’s his own person. One day he could leave and or one day he will die. And my heart will be so broken. But if I can endure my fathers death, and many a heartbreaks, I know it would be hard- but I would survive.

he just wants love- like me. but because humans are complicated and come with baggage and personalities and lived experiences it makes things spicy.

i used to think I didn’t want to get married. When I first met Jason, he was was adamant about never wanting to marry again.

until we started talking again in April. I know there was some other underlying causes to their breakup. But I was a huge part of it. She thought we were fucking when they first started dating. She was intimidated by me- my beautiful brown skin, beautiful hazel ish eyes, my warm genuine smile. my dope ass body mods- ears stretched…copious amounts of tattoos. great taste in music. What’s not to be afraid of? but then I realized I was her. That’s what happened to Ryan and I. He wouldn’t give up Erin for me. And that’s the difference. As much as I loved Ryan, he couldn’t commit to me and dropping people doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s self preservation. He chose her and their friendship and almost again relationship. And now he’s mad at me? Hurt? Confused? I dunno. I’ll let life be his teacher because god knows I tried my hardest and I’m not a damn therapist.

shelly- if you’re out there. thank you. Thank you for being so insecure you couldn’t bare it. You let the wedge live between you and him. And I hate to say it- as much as you were wrong- we never slept together after a certain time. We were just friends. He did realize he didn’t want to marry you. he knew it wasn’t going to work out with you two- and it just naturally drifted apart. Although you put the icing on the cake with berating him, calling HIM crazy. A woman knows when someone is thinking about someone else. Longing. Im sorry that happened to you- but I’m not sorry for getting the man of my dreams back. He’s a good man, with a good heart. He’s loyal, he’s responsible, he gets his shit done, he’s direct, he’s honest, he’s loving, and omg funny.

thats why he’s with me. We love each other in the ways we need and want. We take care of one another. sex with him is omg *chefs kiss* cuddles with him makes me so insanely peaceful And I feel so safe around him. hes All around a good one. By no means perfect- but a great one.

thats all I have for now. While I sit in my pajamas and drink my coffee in the dark. I’m going to go shower and get ready for the day. Work from 10-7 today. Wish me luck!