#genuinely I’ve never been a part of a fandom with this big of a toxic cesspool

[futuristiccrystal]

Bit of a rant here we go!!!!

PSA to any Redacted fans that follow me:

I do not keep up with anything in the fandom anymore for this reason, so just know that I will not be listening to a single complaint about any future redacted fanart of mine unless it’s a genuine design critique

I literally do not care that you get upset over a non-visual character being portrayed as a certain race, ethnicity, gender, or body type. Each of us have our own interpretations and that it the beauty of being an artist in the ASMR/Audio drama community space. So, if someone drawing a gendered listener genuinely triggers a trauma response in you? That’s on you, not the artist.

If you genuinely believe that artists making their own versions of these characters is actively harming you, and you find yourself having meltdowns over it? You have an incredibly unhealthy attachment to this media. Either you’re a lonely middle/high schooler who’s anxious about your future, or you’re an adult who uses these audios to unhealthily cope with your own stress.

Audio dramas are made for the sole purpose of inviting one’s imagination into the story taking place. And while they can be used as a quick-fix to relax, if you can’t fathom that other people have their own versions of the story, it is not their job to fall to their knees and ask for your forgiveness when you start projecting your discomforts/insecurities onto their personal work.

I’m calling out RedactedASMR fans specifically here because I genuinely cannot believe so many of you are as miserable as you are in this fandom. Leave artists alone. Leave writers alone. And especially? Leave Erik alone

I stg he literally makes these audios because they’re *his* passion project, and yet EVERY episode there’s like 50 of you complaining about how you had a panic attack because of a hyper-specific trigger that genuinely would not happen if you learned to properly cope with your own personal issues. He slaps so many content warnings on his work so you guys won’t be distressed, and yet you listen to it anyways and get butt-hurt when it actually bothers you.

Listen y’all can be absolutely amazing, but there’s a reason why Erik doesn’t interact with any of you anymore. I’m sorry that you went through however tough of a life you’ve had, but that is not any of our faults. Leave the artists and writers alone dude. Block them if you seriously need a clean FYP, but don’t make your personal struggles our collective problem

[bekolxeram]

No, OMG! I'm so sorry if my ask came off this way. I was genuinely curious if there was any way this could work, hence the question. I used to believe it was Tommy who flew the plane, but once I saw your explanation, I actually subscribed to your view. It does seem more believable. I wish it was Tommy, but I think you're right, it wouldn't make much sense. I was just curious if Tim and the writers were to confirm in the future that it was indeed Tommy who flew that plane, whether it would be at least somewhat believable. That was the purpose of my ask. I didn't mean to disregard your theories. I'm sorry. I LOVE your aviation analyses; I even sent you a coffee from the Kinley cafe 🫣 I hope you don't stop. Whenever I see you posted something, I have this huge smile on my face because I know I'm about to read a banger of a post. It's all so interesting!

Noooo, it’s not you. I actually really appreciate your asks. And thank you for the Kinley Café order, you have no idea how happy it made me.

I don’t get asks often, but since the 8x02 title reveal I’ve gotten a few, all aviation related. I’ve been… honestly, elated. I have the chance to yap about my passion and do deep dives on stuff that never crossed my mind before. Sometimes I get carried away, I’m very much incapable of being normal about planes. Ever since I saw those planes in bts photos, my brain has been bustling with ideas, and at times I click rb/reply before thinking because I get too excited. I would worry later that I might’ve forced my theories on others without being asked about them. But it’s not like they’re harmful rhetorics or antagonistic hot takes, just an info dump about a lot of planes. So people can ignore and I’ll move on.

I especially enjoyed doing research on that C-130 in 2x14, I learned a lot about aerial firefighting in the process. I didn’t pay attention back then, but I noticed the lack of airplanes when Tommy was giving Buck the tour in 7x04, so I went back and found the line from the TV reporter saying it was CAL FIRE.

I suspect that line was shoved in there last minute, because some technical consultants told them firefighting air tankers are never used in an urban environment, the weight of water/fire retardant can flatten cars, houses, it has gotten multiple people killed. I can think of more instances where the emergency seems unrealistic at first, but then there’s a passing line making it kind of possible, just exaggerated. I know we always joke about Tim writing soap opera level surreal emergencies, but I feel like all the other people involved in the making of this show don’t get enough credit, especially those designing the opening big disasters.

I’ve noticed multiple times that shortly after posting stuff about Tommy’s pilot career, a post would pop up in the tag asking people to stop obsessing over timeline. I paid them no mind before, they were probably not personal I thought, a subsection of the fandom does have the habit to use Tommy’s age to call him a predator. But this time, well, my theory was mentioned by name, so they were talking about me.

I can handle bad takes or even attacks from the toxic part of the fandom, I don’t value their opinion at all. Seeing rb after rb from people on our side of the fandom, some of whom I admire, basically telling me to stop being so obsessive over realism, being compared to fans who nitpick certain actors’ accents, tattoos, grooming choices, that one stings harder than I thought.

I know I’m being thin-skinned, I’m making everything about me, I’m fully aware that I’m a disaster. But I find myself hesitating to answer the other aviation related asks in my inbox, one of them particularly asking about the possibility of certain scenario in real life. I’m just not sure my input is welcomed here. I have this fear of unknowingly annoying people with my over-enthusiasm. I feel like that kid who keeps yapping about trains at school that everyone secretly hates again.

I just really, really love aviation. I thoroughly enjoy uniting these 2 things that I love and maybe learn new things from it. I don’t mean to impose. I was very excited this morning when I received asks in my inbox, but now it feels like being slammed back onto the ground, and it’s not a good feeling. I don’t know, maybe it’s time to uncouple these 2 things.

[gaysforbyler]

I have no idea how to start this post, so I’m just going to do what I do best and ramble.

Firstly, the most important stuff. I want to say thank you to anyone who has ever read get him back, even if you hated it and immediately clicked off. I genuinely was not expecting anyone to actually read it, let alone engage with it at all. I love the little community that has built in my comment sections, you guys are seriously the sweetest people in the world. Receiving comments has been the highlight of my week these past six months (six months!). I just can’t believe that people were actually interested in my little story, especially since Will had a boyfriend, which the fandom (including me) tends to hate.

When I first came up with the idea, I was only about 25% sure I was actually going to do it. Part of the reason was because I had exactly four ideas for it: Will has a toxic boyfriend, he forces Will to drink, Will is emo, and Mike graffitis Will’s boyfriend’s car. The first eight chapters were literally improvised on the spot, idk how you guys put up with that.

The second reason was because I was never really a writer. I had tried writing in the past (when I was like 14 😐 and again a little over a year ago) but I was very bad. I really didn’t think I would be able to manage as big of a project as this, especially since my attention span is so tiny, but I decided to go ahead with it anyway.

Not to be Mike Wheeler, but that might have been the best thing I’ve ever done. It sounds stupid, because it’s literally just fan fiction, but I’ve had more fun doing this than I have in years. Get him back means the world to me, and I would love to keep posting an infinite number of chapters, but I’m burnt out and I kind of want it out of my face. If you didn’t see before, I might (probably) be doing some little stories to go along with it, because I can’t just leave this fic forever. The characters are my babies and I love them dearly.

Anyways, to wrap things up, thank you to everyone who supported me through this, I love you so much <333. Special shout out to my beta, you are seriously the only reason I was ever able to finish this. I have no idea how you read the messes that were chapters 1&2 and decided that was good enough to be locked in for life, but thank you so much!

I’m getting emotional now, I need to stop talking. I love the little guys I’ve been hyper fixating on since I as was 12, obviously shout out to them. My beautiful beautiful sons, love laugh love Byler.

[running-tweezers]

You know, I never really talk about the specifics as to why I’m so cautious about fandom and what I get involved in on here. And also as a result why I’m often really scared to interact with people. But I was recently talking about my experience with a friend and doing a lot of unpacking with myself. And as tough as it is, I think I want to share, in case it might help someone.

CW: threats of death and sexual assault, unwanted romantic/sexual advances, suicide, toxic relationships

I will try to make this as concise as possible but no promises lol

It was around 2014. I was about 19/20. I had recently started being more active in a fandom that will remain unnamed. This fandom was by far the biggest one I’ve ever been a part of, but not a big super fandom, like Superwholock or Marvel or whatever was big at the time. And this piece of media was everything to me. I kept up with new content religiously. I went to conventions. I cosplayed. I have beloved memories with irl friends attached to it. It brought me such genuine joy, and there’s a part of me that’s sad it’s been so poisoned for me that I can’t look at anything related to it anymore.

I was just starting to dip my toe into the online fandom aspect of things, and I was looking for people to follow. I saw someone make a post about my favorite character, and I agreed with the take so hard, it was as if I wrote it myself. So I followed instantly. Not long after, that blog followed me back, and sent me a DM. We’re gonna call him G.

G introduced himself and asked me if I followed him because I read his fanfic. I didn’t even know he wrote fanfic. Turns out G was a WAY bigger deal in the online fandom than I realized. He had written what was, at the time, the longest running piece of fanfiction for this fandom. He was what some might consider a “Big Name Fan”. I was so shocked that someone that big wanted to follow me, a tiny blog who was better known for posting about musical theater before getting into this fandom.

We talked about my favorite character for a while, and then started talking in the DMs more regularly after that. I was so excited that I was making a friend within this fandom. And someone so well known! It was crazy! I did read his fanfic, it definitely wasn’t for me, not my cup of tea, but that was fine! I didn’t need to tell him that, that would be rude! So I lied, and told him I loved it. I also told him I loved one of his favorite ships, even though I was pretty eh on it, didn’t care one way or the other. But I couldn’t hurt his feelings! This was a new friend!

That was mistake number one, but also maybe what ended up saving me.

After a while, our conversations turned a little more personal, talking about our lives outside of fandom. That’s when things started getting weird. G seemed like he maybe wanted something more than friendship. I was pretty clear that I was in a serious relationship at the time and not available (which was true, that relationship is now my wonderful husband) and he would back off a bit. But soon he was back on it again, reblogging my selfies with strings of heart eye emojis, sending me ask game responses straight up telling me that he thought I was hot and he had a crush on me, basically pushing things as far as he could without crossing a line.

Never once did I consider unfollowing him, or blocking him though. Because after we became friends I started to see that G was not afraid of calling people out. He had enough sway that he could turn a large swath of people against someone if he talked shit in a post. And honestly, he was ruthless. If I turned him down outright, or stopped talking to him, that could be me he went after next. Thats when I became absolutely terrified of upsetting him. So I kept putting up with his advances, kept praising his fanfic I didn’t like, kept talking all about this ship he loved, kept listening to him talk shit about people who didn’t agree with his opinions, kept talking to him like we were buddies. But I was scared.

It wasn’t until much much later down the line that realized I was essentially in a controlling and abusive relationship with this guy. The fact that it was platonic and not romantic (at least on my end) clouded that for me in the moment. My life revolved around online fandom, the drama, the discourse, and making sure my opinions lined up with his so he wouldn’t get mad at me.

That’s how it went until shit eventually hit the fan. I was gone for a while and I couldn’t get online for a week or so. I remember worrying that he was gonna get mad that I wasn’t answering him. So when I got the chance to go online again I went to check. And G was gone. Account deactivated. I was so confused, so I went digging in the fandom tag.

Turns out G had been exposed for sending very detailed and personal death and rape threats to people who didn’t agree with him. People who didn’t ship his favorite ship. People who didn’t like his fanfic. He had been sending these threats the entire time I knew him.

I have never felt such retroactive fear in my entire life. I was one of the people who didn’t agree with him on everything. I didn’t ship his favorite ship. I didn’t like his fanfic. I just lied and said I did to placate him. If he was sending such detailed and personal death and rape threats to total strangers on the Internet, I cannot imagine what he might have done had he found out I also didn’t agree with him. Someone he thought was his friend. Someone he was obviously romantically and sexually attracted to.

And I realized that just because he deactivated his account, that didn’t mean he was gone. He could very easily make another account. He could find me again.

That filled me with such dread that I quit tumblr. I left this website and fandom entirely.

The next year was what I consider one of the worst of my entire life mentally. Not all of it was because of this, but I think this experience, plus a lot of things about fandom/tumblr culture in general at the time were definitely the one jenga block I pulled that knocked the whole tower down. I ended up trying to take my own life that year. Fortunately that didn’t happen and I got help that I desperately needed.

I debated coming back to tumblr for a long time. I was gone from online fandom for 8 years. And I missed it. It wasn’t all bad. I missed the joy it was capable of bringing me. So now that I’m nearly 30, I decided to come back so I could join the Redacted community, because it had become such an intense hyperfixation. I figured I had grown, and I knew how to set boundaries and control my time online now. And for the most part I have. There are for sure still times where I see things within this community that trigger old feelings, and sometimes I wonder if coming back was a mistake. But for the most part I’m really proud of myself for coming back and making the experience of being part of a fandom a positive one again.

If you feel like fandom is becoming a place that is hurting you, PLEASE. Set boundaries. Take control of your time online. Nothing and nobody in any fandom is more important than taking care of yourself and your mental health. It may seem so incredibly important but at the end of the day? It’s only tumblr. There is a great big world out there and this is a teeny tiny slice of it. Don’t let that tiny slice ruin everything else, ok? If I can help one single person by sharing this, it will have been worth it.

[dearweirdme]

I think that anyone on twt these past couple of days would say it’s a toxic nightmare.

Kths & Jjk’s are fighting to the death & it’s such a shame - ofc anyone that loves Tae is so sad at the sabotage he has faced & also that the majority of the fandom has moved on so quickly to 3D.

It’s up to us to keep streaming & try to achieve what we can for that gorgeous, talented man.

But that’s not Jungkook’s fault- he wants to get his work out on the world stage & ofc he’s going to take advantage of the huge push he’s getting from Hybe - why wouldn’t he?

Jungkook is hugely marketable & he’s said he wants to be a huge pop star - he’s already taken off like a rocket & I fully expect him to have more bb #1 & probably a Grammy at some point.

During Layover, it became extremely obvious that the majority of Taekookers are Jk bias - numbers don’t lie & Tae, while he’s done so well, could have done so much better.

And now, large numbers of Taekookers are stopping being Taekookers.

But from what I’ve seen, it’s not because they blame Jungkook for Tae’s lack of promotion etc. That’s down to Hybe & no one else.

Sadly, it’s become obvious that Tk just aren’t together anymore.

Because what man would completely ignore his bf’s debut, never like or comment on his tiktok dance challenges or post a single thing for him, while constantly talking about & praising another man & having a holiday with him?

Unless you believe Jungkook is a total selfish dick (I don’t think he is) that behaviour just doesn’t make sense.

And let’s be honest, the whole ‘silent support’ & ‘BH won’t let him support’ rubbish that Taekookers use to self soothe…. That just sounds ridiculous.

Jungkook has told us he does what he wants & makes his own decisions- why would we believe that he can’t drop a like on a tiktok?

Personally, I tried really hard to believe Tk are still together.

But things change, relationships fail & we have no idea what their lives are like.

So yeah, I’m really sad about it (sounds a bit stupid when it’s people I’ll never know🤷‍♀️) & my heart hasn’t wanted to face the truth for months 😢

But they’ll probably remain friendly- 10 years + in the same group will mean there’s always a connection.

Hi anon!

So, this seems to be a hot topic again after Jk's short live. And I kinda get it.. maybe... but I also don't.

The thing that I get is that people are obviously confused about the total lack of Jk doing anything concerning Tae's debut. I also expected him to do something, nothing big, but something... and he didn't. So I get the disappointed and confused part a bit.

What I don't get is the negative conclusions around it. If anything Tae and Jk have been showing us their closeness this year. You think they broke up... but when would that have been? The Dream premiere was very clear, them at Yoongi's show together was all good, Tae supporting Jk at Inkigayo.. all good. So I absolutely don't think they broke up inbetween somewhere. I also don't think Jk doesn't care for Tae.. even if they are only friends... they are obviously very close and Jk loves Tae a lot. I also don't think Jk is selfish and their relationship is onesided/lopsided. Tae himself said Jk will do whatever he asks almost. If you look at Tae and Jk's interactions... Jk loves Tae just as much as Tae loves him. Which bring me to Tae's behavior. Nothing in Tae's character or behavior makes me think he would let Jk use him or let him walk over him like that. Basically... I just have trust in their characters I think. I think they genuinely love each other.

SO what could be the reason for Jk not doing something? I think the clue may lie in his recent live. He was clearly talking pr-strategy when he mentioned not having done a live to make anticipation stronger. He might have also been advised again anything Tae. I know I'm gonna get shit for this, but my reason for thinking so is that Jk not posting anything Tae also doesn't make sense if you think of them as only members or friends.

I know some make this out to be that Jk doesn't want to encourage Tkkrs. If Tae and Jk aren't together as we think and are just close friends... Tkkrs won't be much of a factor in Jk's decisions. Tae as a friend would matter way more to him than a bunch of shippers being wrong.

I don't know what the deal is exactly, but I am quite sure it isn't that Jk doesn't support or love Tae.

[mossyivy]

Hi, thank you for your Eddie alphabet and your take and opinion on him. But I just really feel like every letter is the opposite of what you wrote.

And with most ficus I see on here I think he is more of the type to fall head over heels because he has never had someone who genuinely live him so much and loves to prove it to him. Maybe at first he doesn’t know how to be affectionate but he quickly learns and he is one of those people that simply touching you is so comforting to him. His loud obnoxious self would thrive as usual but the second you walk over to join him that’s when he needs just a small hand touch or hold and the two of you would do the whole 3 squeeze thing meaning I love you as you both fake listen to something Geraeth is saying and then when you get to his place or yours that’s when he or you has to be hanging off each other. He would at first love holding you and being the big spoon and then the one time you hold him and naturally comfort him he is shocked that this could be something and he is obsessed with it.

Sorry I’ve been awake for 4 days and I’m delusional but I just feel like what what you wrote would be more like Eddie not ever having any type of affection so he is scared or nervous and just doesn’t know how to be domestic or affectionate. He was raised by his dad being the typical trash with a different partner every night and only fucking for his relief. And so that’s how Eddie thought he was supposed to be too. Because when he moves in with Wayne, we’ll Wayne never had anyone over. So I can see that as a very realistic Eddie irl. Like if he legitimately when to school with you and what like “why the fuck is this girl always looking at me?” Lmao that is actually the situation I found myself in a few times in high school. Those guys would notice me notice them and because I was the girl who never had a boyfriend but genuinely hung out with every single group. Like I made friends very easily. But when I had a crush I’d try to shrink and turn invisible. So those guys feel like an Eddie that is just not comfortable with a girl not really similar to him at least when it comes to social life and looks so he would be kind of mean and ignore you because you were probably dared to. And if something did happen since he was raised with toxic masculinity he would be that way until he actually falls and that takes a very very long time.

Here's a wonderful post on fandom etiquette before you read!

I'm just gonna start this out by saying I respect your opinion and see what you're trying to say but this just feels disrespectful on so many levels.

This is the kind of thinking that makes people not want to join in on the fun parts of fandom.

As someone who's been in fandom for almost 14 years now it's getting really tiring seeing people try to make characters fit into little boxes. The point of fan fiction is for fans to make content of the media they consume.

FAN MADE CONTENT, BY FANS FOR FANS!

We as fans do not NEED to fit the portrayal of canon content, we are not the creators of the media we consume. And a lot of fan fiction is based around content we don't even get to see.

Like with this anonymous ask, you can interpret a character anyway you feel like you need to. But that doesn't mean you need to push that idea onto other people.

An finally to whoever you are to sent me this ask:

Please don't do this ever again to anyone let alone just me.

The only reason I'm even responding to you is to use your ask as an example of how to NOT act in fandom. And if you really didn't agree with how I represented a character you could have just not read it.

When writing for Eddie I used my own experiences to go off of from being bullied for quite literally my entire educational experience until college. I find him the most relatable because of what we do know about him. Like a lot of people do because we hardly know anything about Eddie.

So maybe in the future think before you send.

Sorry to be flooding the tags with this, just making sure it's reaching it's intended audience!

[domoroks]

I'm sorry to bother you but I have to say I find Dib's treatment in the show/comics flat out uncomfortable a lot of the time. It feels like his whole role is to get treated like shit and fail at everything and it's not funny to me.

Also the opening of the comics pissed me off, it's basically mocking Dib for being fat and gross, I genuinely don't get why people praise it. There's also issue 5. It made me hate Gaz, it seems she never gets called out for her selfish and cruel behavior.

all in all the treatment for dib is ridiculous in my humble opinion. Of course- if you find it funny i’m not going to pull you apart for it, but his treatment does make me sad, mostly because there’s no bigger picture taken out of it for the show, movie or comics. Any younger children that might’ve been able to see the show, movie, or the comics might actually be bummed tf out because of there being no takeaway lesson- which also makes me sad LMAOO.

I see where you’re coming from!! it makes me upset too. The way all the characters are treated makes me so upset like on an emotional level- but that’s unfortunately how their universe works :((. not defending it or anything you know. Nick canceling the show really ruined any progress we would’ve / could’ve seen in the characters- and when they revived the movie and the comics came out you didn’t get to see much character development either- which- for me- a person who love’s character development- FINDS VERYY SAD. The creator states a couple of times though that the characters can’t really change- which upsets tf outa me. (that’s why my hcs are so heavy for Invader Zim actually.) ((it’s like parenting a thing you enjoy it’s genuinely insane.))

Gaz is mostly mean due to the fact her dad is never around- and Dib seems to be just too much for her. Also- the way her ‘mother’ (if they even ever had one) is never brought up. Though the way Gaz acts has always been pointed out ESPECIALLY by parents who viewed the show when it aired- they complained about her hate for her brother. Another instance of issues not getting to be solved with the time and creation of the show / comics- yet again sad. I’d also argue that the fandom played a big part in Jhonen’s dislike for his own creation. If you’ve known Invader Zim for long enough- the fandom is HORRIFYING. not to drag *it* in again but Zadr / humanxirken shippers tanked the fandom because it’s either a super toxic ship or literally p3d0ph1ll1a. (had to censor the word sorry.)

The fandom also has incest. which is disgusting beyond belief. I’ve only been a fan of the show for about 4 years now- but despite me posting my art for it, i don’t talk about it much with strangers because of it. All of the stuff that’s happened in the fandom drive Jhonen to literally end the comics with a groundhog day. I HATE GROUNDHOG DAYS. YOUR DISLIKE IS VERY JUSTIFIED!!

A bit of a tangent here but I have my whole AU with a more found family. Zim realizes his tallest dont care about him, Dib gets respected more, Gaz becomes a bit less harsh and Membrane fixes his fucking parenting issues. I understand Zim’s an old man but bro just joins the Membrane family and becomes a brother to Dib because he can. That’s just my coping mechanism for the show/movie/comics LMAO. like I said though your opinion is justified!! I don’t get to talk about it ever but the way every character’s treated and handled is honestly kinda sucky and maybe I just have high empathy and don’t like seeing others upset but i genuinely want the best for these little imaginary guys. I want them to be ok.

[atsa-star-wars]

Not my jam, but pretty damn interesting and insightful. Deserves to see the light of day.

mis-mcgifsten (reblog logo) cosmicmechanism

#Fun fan meta

#pro jedi

#i see a lot of people saying that they are an aro/ace culture

#I don’t think their culture is based off of sexuality in general

#their culture is based off of the concept of monasticism in eastern philosophies

#I’m sure if it was obvious they were all women and it was based off of nuns they’d accept the lack of romance without much issue

#the romance thing seems to be the big deal because everyone has Hollywood brain

#but the romance is a part of a material life that the Jedi are supposed to leave behind to pursue high spiritual goals

#that’s why they live apart from their parents and generally don’t have children either

#it’s a wild but generally recent misinterpretation that Anakin went dark because the Jedi didn’t let him have a romance with Padme

#in fact when I speak to people irl about SW they generally seem to get that Anakin went to the dark side because of his secret relationship

#and that they had an unhealthy and toxic relationship that spiraled

#not helped by him being groomed by a Sith Lord

#the blaming the Jedi thing mostly seems to be a fandom thing

#like people who read the EU books and really liked Mara Jade for some reason

#irl people still seem to see the Jedi as samurai monks who don’t have families

#the idea that monks are all aro/ace is one I’ve genuinely never seen before

#I’ve literally grown up around stories of people who become monks and it’s always about the choice to pursue spirituality

#or those who put duty above family life

#it’s always been framed as a life choice not a tradition of chosen sexuality which I kind of find baffling

#like you can not be aro/ace and still choose not to have romantic or sexual relationships

#Previous tags of excellence

Why is it that every time I see an opinion piece for Star Wars, particularly anything regarding the upcoming Rey movie, that the author ALWAYS says that the Jedi Code should be changed to allow XYX (usually romantic relationships and families)?

Like... why?

Why should this Order that has existed for millenia change their core philosophy because a few individuals couldn't handle the simple rules? Why is it always "The Jedi should change" and never "Maybe we'll make a new Organization that allows us to do these things"?

[thequackcity]

Quackity and Schlatt’s Relationship - More Complicated Then You Think

(this is all /rp and about the characters from the dream smp! pls assume i have the dignity not to write analysis of youtubers)

recently there was a bit of discourse surrounding the relationship between Quackity and Schlatt floating around on tumblr. tho i never saw the original post that sparked the conversation, i did see a few posts that were inspired by it mentioning how they disliked that the original post implied that Quackity and Schlatt were mutually abusive and/or equally bad for each other 

since i never saw the original post, i can't be sure if that's what the op meant to imply. it's not really my place to speak about a post that i never got the chance to read. BUT the conversation that was caused by the post in question did get me thinking about how this fandom treats the relationship between Quackity and Schlatt and how little nuance there is in discussions about it

now before i say anything else, i want to make a few things clear:

i don't think Quackity and Schlatt’s relationship is mutually abusive. no need to worry about hearing that from this post

i don't look down on ppl who have different interpretations of their relationship

there will be potentially triggering content in this analysis. i will place a quick warning whenever i think one is needed!

their relationship is romantic in canon and therefore i’ll be treating it as romantic

alright now that we’ve gotten all of that out of the way, we can finally get on with the analysis! i apologize for how long this is gonna be

part 1: let's talk relationship!

i think we can all agree that Quackity and Schlatt’s relationship was not exactly a healthy one. tho it didn't start out that way, it certainly turned into what could be read as abusive or toxic (i personally read their relationship as being abusive in its later half due to evidence provided by the text, but i understand if others prefer to view it as just toxic instead)

but what happened that led to their partnership ending so badly? what caused all of this mess?

well, it was a lot of things. but we will get to that later. let's talk relationship first!

from the very beginning, Quackity and Schlatt’s relationship was pretty one-sided. tho they both clearly liked each other as friends/partners in crime both before and after the election (yes they did interact before the election!) Quackity was also interested in Schlatt romantically- something that Schlatt wasn't fully committed to

as we all know from the infamous date stream and from a few other moments, Quackity and Schlatt enjoyed playfully flirting with each other- tho it was pretty obvious that Quackity was more serious about it then Schlatt was even tho Schlatt considered Quackity to be very attractive

in my opinion, Quackity is someone who wants a long term relationship, while Schlatt is more interested in flings. this can be seen in Schlatt refusing to marry Quackity and rejecting most of his advances while Quackity tried his best to convince him to feel otherwise. Tommy put it best: Quackity is just one of Schlatt’s many bitches U_U

to Quackity, the romantic aspect of their relationship was very important. because Schlatt never actually shot him down or told him that he didn't feel the same way, Quackity took that to mean that they were truly in love. Schlatt on the other hand wasn't very invested in the romantic side of things but clearly valued Quackity’s looks and his support as an ally against Pogtopia so he never fully rejected Quackity’s advances

this might not seem like too big of a deal considering the other things that happened between them, but i think it shows part of the nature of their relationship. there is a lot of miscommunication and, on Schlatt’s end, manipulation of emotions. love is a strong motivator for loyalty and Schlatt is a smart guy who would know how to use that to his advantage

but that isn't to say that Schlatt didn't ever care about Quackity!

Schlatt is a complicated guy and figuring out when he's actually being genuine can be pretty difficult. but i think there are some moments that point to Schlatt genuinely caring about Quackity

when he was alive, Schlatt was pretty paranoid. not as paranoid as Wilbur, but certainly up there. but there were never any times where he truly questioned Quackity’s loyalties after his first day as president. Schlatt also seemed truly upset that Quackity betrayed him, bringing up their status as partners in crime while ranting about how much it hurt him and singling Quackity out while talking about how he had been abandoned during his time of need

Schlatt also spent a lot of time sulking after Quackity betrayed him and whining to Ponk about needing a new bitch. this is in contrast to how angry he was after Tubbo betrayed him- both during and after the execution

there is also the situation with the Big Man Gym 

after being dead for a while, Schlatt contacted Quackity despite them leaving off on bad terms and asked for him to visit him in his cave gym. when Quackity showed up, Schlatt talked about how he valued their relationship and the good times they had together. tho this can easily be seen as emotional manipulation, Schlatt’s a lot smarter than he seems and- if he doesnt have memory issues due to being a ghost- would know that Quackity’s opinion of him was in the dump at the time of his death and most likely wouldn't have improved since then. Fundy has a higher opinion of Schlatt than Quackity does and is someone who obviously craves validation. but Schlatt went to Quackity first anyway and trusted him to help revive him

i think that this is all good evidence that points towards Schlatt truly caring about Quackity as much as someone like Schlatt can care about anyone- or at least valuing him as a companion

i also think that it is pretty common knowledge that Quackity cared about Schlatt- and possibly still does- but i will go over a bit of evidence that i haven’t already mentioned before we move on to the next part

Quackity tried multiple times to impress Schlatt (like when he lied about knowing how to play chess), would attempt to help Schlatt when he was drowning in water, sadly said that they could have had something together while Schlatt was dying in the caravan, and implied that he wouldn’t have left if Schlatt hadn’t taken down the white house. Quackity also willingly went to the Big Man Gym after being summoned there by Schlatt and wanted to revive him long before the revive book became part of the story

part 2: what made it fall apart?

everything i've said so far has been pretty interesting (hopefully) but it doesn't really answer the original question: what went wrong to turn Schlatt and Quackity’s mainly positive partnership sour?

well it comes down to two things in my opinion: their incompatible desires for political power and Schlatt’s deteriorating mental state

Quackity wanted political power from the beginning and wasn't afraid to be open about his desires. he pooled his votes with Schlatt because Schlatt offered him the position of vice president, something Wilbur and Tommy weren’t willing to give to him. tho Quackity obviously cared about L’Manburg and wanted to see good things for it, he also desired power and was willing to team up with someone he didn't fully agree with to get said power

at 32:40 in this video, Quackity talks about how in politics everyone uses everyone so it's alright if Schlatt is using him. he then talks about how he doesn't want to be a man with no power and how he understands that Schlatt’s main goal is also gaining/keeping power. Quackity also shows a bit of his naughty evil side by saying if he overthrows Schlatt then the fun ends too early! 

(side note: these two are pretty evenly matched in intelligence and manipulativeness, i love it!) 

it's a bit of a fandom misconception that Quackity was a love sick yes man during the Manburg era. tho Quackity did want to please Schlatt and was in love with him, he didn't shy away from standing up to or disagreeing with Schlatt when he believed it was needed

at around 26:12 of this video, Quackity and Schlatt meet together in private and Quackity tells Schlatt off for playing down his role in the power structure of Manburg. since this was very early in Schlatt’s reign, Quackity shows no fear towards him and confidently tells him not to treat him like that

Quackity also broke Niki out of jail after regretting letting her be put there in the first place, tried to convince Schlatt to not execute Tubbo, jumped in front of Fundy when Schlatt tried to attack him, tried to stop Schlatt from tearing down buildings, and attempted to protect the white house he built from being destroyed by Schlatt. these are not behaviors of a pure yes man but of someone who, despite fear, has the confidence to speak up for himself even when disrespected by someone in authority

Quackity has always been someone who wanted power and someone who was never a yes man to authority. this contradicts with how Schlatt believed Quackity should act as vice president. in Schlatt’s opinion, Quackity’s one job is to sit around looking pretty while Schlatt does all of the important things and holds all of the power. Schlatt was a big fan of promoting people to worthless positions of authority and its pretty obvious that he considered vice president to be similar to the fake positions he gave Fundy and Tubbo 

in the end, this was a big part of what destroyed their relationship. like it or not, Quackity’s a power hungry guy and always has been. he didn't like that Schlatt constantly shoved him aside and refused to listen to him

now onto the nasty bit...Schlatt’s mental state

cw for mentions of alcoholism, mental deterioration, and abusive behavior  

before i say anything more, i just want to say that i don't think having issues with alcoholism makes someone a bad person. i personally have some issues with such things so it would be pretty stupid of me to say being an alcoholic makes you a bad person. alcoholism does negatively affect your cognitive functions tho and, combined with other health issues, can cause some of the very serious mental problems that Schlatt clearly struggles with

throughout the Manburg era, Schlatt’s mental state rapidly deteriorated. he went from a pretty normal- if eccentric- guy who had a drinking problem, to someone who was delirious most of the time. it's a sharp and noticeable decline that caused a lot of pain for Quackity due to Schlatt often taking his excess aggression out on him by yelling at him and/or belittling him. tho Schlatt often belittled Quackity before he went fully off of the deep end, it was never as aggressive as it was when he was in this delirious state of mind

it was during one of Schlatt’s most aggressive and delirious moments that he tore down the white house despite Quackity’s protests. as we all know, this caused Quackity to snap and kill Schlatt (it's more complicated than that but we will get back to that). as mentioned previously, Quackity implied that he would have stayed with Schlatt if the white house hadn’t been destroyed

in my opinion, these two things combined are the biggest reasons why Quackity and Schlatt’s relationship fell apart. their differing desires for power were not compatible and Schlatt’s awful behavior while his mental state declined caused a rift between them that couldn't be fixed

part 3: how toxic was it really?

cw for emotional and physical abuse 

as i said all the way back in part one, Quackity and Schlatt’s relationship was not healthy. i have provided many examples in the other two parts that shine a light onto why it wasn't healthy, but i didn't show the entire picture

there are many moments that show exactly how Schlatt treated Quackity when he was acting at his worst and none of them are pretty. tho Schlatt was never truly aggressive with his insults until he started to go off of the deep end, that doesn't mean that what he said wasn't negatively affecting Quackity

Schlatt would belittle, insult, and mock Quackity for his appearance not being up to his standards, for his opinions, and for being emotional in ways that Schlatt disapproved of like crying. tho Schlatt would often brush off Quackity’s reactions towards this cruel behavior, it's very clear that Schlatt’s treatment of him has stuck with Quackity in many ways

Quackity is very sensitive about his appearance and it seems to be because of how badly Schlatt hurt his self esteem during their time together. Schlatt tied Quackity’s worth to his appearance and then would claim he wasn't meeting his standards of attractiveness. we can tell that this has stuck with Quackity because of his sensitivity towards people bringing up the scar on his face (something that greatly alters his physical appearance) and he still reacts very badly when Schlatt calls him the mocking nickname flatty patty

speaking of flatty patty- that stupid insult shockingly has a lot of weight in Quackity’s relationship with Schlatt. tho its something the audience is meant to laugh at, the nickname also shows just how little Schlatt respects Quackity because he's constantly throwing it around just to make Quackity upset. Schlatt’s last words are flatty patty all because he wanted to get in one last dig at his ex and ruin Quackity’s day even further 

Schlatt tends to do a lot of things that are intended to make Quackity upset. tearing down the room Quackity made for him in the white house is the biggest example of this- especially since Schlatt mentions how it will upset Quackity while he does it. you can see this moment at around 19:10 of this video

and now let's get into the elephant in the room when it comes to these two: Quackity was scared of Schlatt. tho we never really see Schlatt hit or attack Quackity physically outside of their confrontation at the white house or their confrontation in the caravan, these clips imply that Quackity was at the very least scared of Schlatt physically harming him in some way 

as for actually physically harming him, Schlatt hits Quackity multiple times with a pickaxe and with his fists during their white house fight. Quackity hits Schlatt a couple times too, tho these are all primarily defensive blows since he is trying to protect himself and his property. he also chases after Quackity with a bow after Quackity’s plan to trick him into signing Manburg over to the Pogtopians fails and hits him multiple times during the caravan confrontation

all of this evidence shows that Schlatt was an abusive (or at least toxic) partner towards Quackity and someone who greatly affected him in many ways

tho Quackity did a few questionable things throughout his relationship with Schlatt (such as trying to get Schlatt to have sex with him despite Schlatt not being interested as shown in the later half of this video) and did some downright morally wrong things during his time as vice president of Manburg, no one deserves the pain of an abusive relationship- even a person who has done bad things

as a brief side note before we move on because i know people will bring it up if i skip over it, Quackity did- and most likely still does- want to literally possess Glatt. he brought up reviving Schlatt and using him as a political pawn after Schlatt’s funeral and during their conversation at the Big Man Gym Quackity talked about owning Glatt and having him work at Las Nevadas with no pay

this is unsettling behavior to say the least but this essay isnt about the aftermath of their relationship so much as it is about their relationship when it was actually happening. maybe i will make another post talking more about how Quackity’s relationship with Schlatt affected him even after Schlatt’s death and/or about Quackity’s relationship with Glatt

part 4: final thoughts

i’m not exactly sure why the nuances in Schlatt and Quackity’s relationship get lost when it comes to the fandom, but it’s pretty disappointing to see. hopefully this essay can help people take a closer look at canon and maybe even help them find something interesting that they’d want to explore!

tho the point of this essay is to clear up any misconceptions and hopefully add some nuance to the conversations surrounding Schlatt and Quackity’s relationship, i also wrote it in hopes of showing people how fascinating these two partners in crime were back in the Manburg days. i didn’t cover everything but i think i did a pretty good job for my first analysis post in the dsmp fandom

also since you read to the end, i must say thank you! it really does means a lot to me that you did. i hope you enjoyed and maybe even learned something. this post can be used as a resource if anyone wants to use it as such

here’s a tiny devil Quackity for your troubles <3

[genoc1d3r]

my turn to cry - thoughts on 3-1b

ok this has actually gotta be my favorite chapter cause holy shit so much stuff happened.

I played the Alice/kanna route and afterwards I watched a vod with the reko/shin route in which ranmaru and naomichi died before the banquet, so BIG SPOILER WARNING FOR BOTH ROUTES

Mafia Princess Sara??: Ok so first off, back in the beginning of 2020, I had a theory that Sara was a mafia heiress and that the death game was supposed to be something to “prepare” her. And that her memories were wiped or she was initially supposed to be kept blind to this whole thing (In 3-1a when everybody saw the consent form for the very first time everybody felt a sense of deja vu, except for Sara. Because why would they need her consent when she is the sole focus of the game and it’s all for her) This theory was mainly supplied by my confusion surrounding the hiring of Kai, cause why would mr Chidouin hire a former assassin to protect her?? How did he even know Kai??? But yeah, the whole thing with Shinobu Gokujo and deciding a new don through a death game just adds a lil more validity to this theory.

Sara’s real father: I also had a mini theory that Gashu Satou was her real father, but that was mostly cause of their hair color and how it would def make Sara’s hair color make more sense genetics-wise (but kai has black hair, so its most likely that his mother had black hair, which would also disprove this mini-theory but yk im not here to prove it just talk about it). And that Gashu knew of Mr. Chidouin and gave Sara to him, and it would also explain why mr Chidouin chose Kai of all people to look after her and why Kai could only watch her from a distance, in case she realized the truth that he was her brother/half-brother or something. 

GREENBLINGS CANON AAAAAAAA: I love this, I love this so much oh my god. Now I can replay and cry after 2-2 cause nankidai hates us :’). I dont have an issue with this specifically, I’m just a bit bothered by how the whole thing went. There was some buildup yea, and the cg with kanna, kugie, and shin was amazing. And that lil bit about nice hallucinations made me tear up a bit. But, then everybody kinda just moved on? and idk this whole chapter was a fuckign roller coaster I could barely keep up.

Autistic Gin <3: I’m autistic myself and I have seen many characters who are autistic-coded or exhibit many signs of autism but have never been straight up confirmed (Ex: Vera Misham from Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney). And even then, these characters usually share similar personality traits like being aloof and reserved. So it’s nice to see that Gin is representing autism in a relatively realistic manner with his hyperfixations, vocal tics, and issues with socializing. Even after nearly dying like 17 times he’s still doing well and I genuinely wish for his survival and happiness.

Ranmaru’s death: Both of Ranmaru’s deaths, (if you or if you don’t fail the electricity absorption minigame) the death feels so... off? I was really attached to him as a character, yet his death didn’t impact as much as Joe’s or Nao’s did. During his Banquet death, one second he had his really cute smiling sprite but then whoops oh no guys weird drill screw thing kills him (again). I still can barely comprehend it because it all just happened so fast. Like no cg or anything. I was honestly kinda disappointed. The “delayed” one does a better job at his death scene, but again, it was wayyy too quick and completely dismissed as everybody just moves on to defeat Maple 2.0. I at least would’ve appreciated a better transition than Midori just saying “well anyways–”

 Ranmaru’s extremely quick descent into madness in the shin route: I actually liked this idea of Ranmaru willing to go to such extremes for Sara. However, theres barely time for any of this to develop? Like again, everything just happens so fast??? I would've definitely liked if there were little hints around before the body discovery that ranmaru was gonna do something like this, just a little time for development would really be cool.

Mr. Policeman/Mr. Tazuna???: After I finished, I actually looked on the wiki to see if it said anything about his son that he mentioned and I found this: 

But yeah thats cool

The thing about Q-taro: I’m gonna say it now, I’ve liked Q-taro ever since the aftermath of 1-2, and Q-taro haters have added absolutely nothing to this fandom. Everybody saw him as a child-hater, I see him as a guy who’ll do anything to survive and succeed. I mean that wish is kinda what got him into the death game. And yeah he did try to leave that one time, but that’s what getting thrown into traumatic killing games does for you, most people don’t want to die, they want to live, no matter what it takes. We can’t all be the main character and choose to cooperate with everybody and be the “good” person in that situation. Even Sara has those extremely selfish moments and those intrusive thoughts of winning and leaving. 

This whole thing should also be applied to Ranmaru. Ranmaru has gone through so much shit in such a brief amount of time, to the point where he was considering to/actually kill people to escape with the one person he trusted in this hellhole. In that situation, Sara’s kinda at fault here, cause without Joe she’s lost her sense of morality which resulted in her becoming selfish and well... honestly kinda toxic. This emotional manipulation is really what set Ranmaru off, however it was 100% his decision to fucking kill somebody and murder’s bad. Still love him though.

But back to Qtaro, I really enjoyed the extra substance given to him in this chapter, it’s nice to see the development from being selfish to feeling deep remorse to protecting the dolls of the first trial victims, most notably Mai. As he completely forgives her for stabbing him. The chapter did a great job at fueling my already intense love for Q-taro (and it actually convinced my best friend who claims to hate Q-taro with every bone of her body to like him too!) I also love the father-son dynamic between him and Gin. I find this relationship to be really important cause Gin’s father is an abusive alcoholic and Q-taro’s an orphan who’s never had a proper role-model in his life. So it’s beautiful that despite not having anybody there for him when he was younger he can still be a good figure for another child.

Predictions/hopes for the next part: 

I just want to see whether Shin already knew about Kanna being his sister, and if he doesn’t I want a reveal. Right. Now.

A Ranmaru/Joe/Q-taro/Kai/ “Hinako” revival, p l e a se  they died so soon

More info about the people involved in the Hades Incident/Shinobu Gokujo

More info regarding Meister

Sara going on Maury

Who tf is “Hinako”????

I really hope that there isn't any specific good/bad ending. Like I want every ending to be equally bad and good yk? like equal consequences and good stuff.

Yo wtf happened to Sara’s mom?? Is she gonna come back and play a more important role in the story?? Are her parents gonna come back as floor masters???

I want things to actually change  depending on whether you picked Alice or reko, cause so far they’ve played extremely minor roles.

[mcmuppet]

okay i never actually post on here but i saw something yesterday on  @illegalferrariengine page and specifically one of the tags set me off on a rant to @daniallricciardo during my class yesterday, and i am now going to form that rant into an incoherent tumblr post bc im bored at work and still mad about this

so here it goes: a two part rant about f1 fangirls and DTS fans; and why the f1 fandom is actually ostracizing itself and harming the sport it so very much loves, because of how it treats female & new fans

basically, what fully set me off was a tag along the lines of a lot of “fan girls” go into full seb vettel f1 knowledge mode when talking about history, and even know more than a lot of guy fans, and as a new fan, this is something i have noticed in myself. i’m a pretty big sports fan in general, but im new to f1 and unlike any other sport i watch/follow, with f1 i dove head first into not only the current grid/era, but also the general history, which i have not really done for any other sport. (i’ve been watching tennis since i was like 8 and i could not tell you anything in detail that happened on either the men’s or women’s tour since like, pre 2005, i just never cared to learn). but with f1 i did. and for a long time i chalked that up to “its a new sport to me and im fascinated, and my adhd hyperfixation really set in (during a time when im living alone and have nothing else to do)” and i went wild with it.

but yesterday really got me thinking, did i just become so into the knowledge because of how much i like the sport (and don’t get me wrong i LOVE f1 now) or did i get so deep into the knowledge because the general online discourse (especially on twitter which is its own toxic ecosystem) is that if you’re  a female fan, you have to prove that you’re a fan of the sport and not just a “superficial fan girl” and like THATS SO PROBLEMATIC. i realized yesterday (and maybe this is a super obvious thing and my brain was just slow at fully grasping) that even subconsciously, i know that i would be categorized as a shallow fan girl unless i proved my knowledge, especially since, i am a girl! and i am attracted to these silly attractive men driving fast and being silly in press conferences! sue me! but i shouldn't have to justify being a fan of sport!

i was trying to compare this to tennis and soccer (my other two fave sports) and  while obviously there is still bias and misogyny in those fandoms as well, it really does not reach the levels that i’ve seen in the f1 fandom. personally i think that because there are so few drivers (in comparison to soccer and tennis where there are literally thousands of athletes) so we know more about each driver and really get to know their personality (at least the public personality that they portray), which makes the connection feel more personal. it also doesnt help the inherent bias that , yea , a lot of the drivers are conventionally attractive and could probably be models if they didn’t want to be driving. but it just doesn’t sit right with me that i’m being forced to become an encylopedia of f1 knowledge just to show that i am in fact into the sport because i enjoy the strategy calls, the on track drama, and the absolute power that is the merging of a man and machine to create basically a hyper-athlete. you don’t get that in any other sport and i think thats the genuine beauty of f1.

the other part of the toxic f1 fan culture that has frustrated me is the perception of fans that got into the sport because of drive to survive. now, i didn’t get into f1 because of the Netflix show. i started watching because i had a friend who was a huge fan, and she convinced @daniallricciardo to put on a few races, and i decided to stop making fun of the fast cars going in circles and watch a few races with her. and it got me hooked (this is my formal apology to my boss who i used to make fun of relentlessly for watching f1, you were right Doug its a great sport). but i digress. just the fact that i feel the need to clarify that i did not get into f1 because of DTS is PROBLEMATIC IN AND OF ITSELF. to quote @daniallricciardo “it feels like a badge of honor that we got into it without DTS and it SHOULDN’T” 

the point of drive to survive was to attract new fans to the sport, and guess what! it worked! shocker! but the fact that fans who have been watching f1 for years before the Netflix show consider “DTS fans” to be fake fans literally contradicts the whole point of the show and the sport in general. f1 will only continue to succeed as a sport if the fanbase continues to grow. more fans mean more money which directly correlates to the ability to put on races and provide the entertainment that we sign up for as fans of the sport.

this whole rant basically boils down to: misogynistic f1 fans who reject new DTS fans as “fake fans” are literally ruining the sport they claim to love so much. not just by creating a toxic community, but even in a more tangible way, they could end up affecting the f1 bottom line if they continue to ostracize fans in the way that they currently are. i have never felt more insecure as a fan of anything in the way that i have found in the f1 community. and while i will admit that i also love the knowledge side (seb is literally one of my absolute favorite people so a part of me wants to be just like him, f1 history wise), but i wish i could just enjoy randomly knowing who the 1984 wdc was (niki lauda - of course), without thinking that knowing that will put me in better standing with the f1 community. 

this all seems like, super obvious and not at all some kind of big breakthrough and i recognize that. im not pretending to say i got to the root of toxicity in the f1 community and now in gonna work on solving that. but i think, at least for myself, i needed to put this out there, so that, personally, i can start overcoming the internalized insecurities i have about being a fan in a new sports community which has a very interesting little ecosystem, unlike any other sports fandom ive encountered. 

if you got this far 1. im sorry that i took up 1.2k words of your time and 2. thank you for letting me rant, i def needed it 

[baku-bowl]

broke 1,000 followers (the fuck? I don't even make content people), so decided to write up a list of some (but not all, I'll make other lists later) of my favorite Bakugou-centric fic recs. my tastes run towards hurt/comfort, as you'll probably figure from the list. if there are some Baku-centric fics that you've enjoyed that aren't on here, please add them - this is definitely not a complete list of the ones I've read and love, but I'm always up for some recs. <3

fair warning, most of these are wips.

------------------------------------------------

Social Media 101 by WindsChild8178

Part 1: Survival Guide to Fucking Up

[Solely Bakugou’s point of view]

Katsuki Bakugou doesn’t have a gentle bone in his body. He’s aggressive in everything he does and does everything with 100% of his heart in it. After the Sport’s Festival, Katsuki starts to get harassed by strangers for his unheroic demeanor. It starts with letters but it doesn’t end there. The moment Katsuki realizes the harassment has entered dangerous territory and he needs to tell someone, it’s already too late.

Part 2: Post Traumatic Life Disorder

[Point of View opens up to Bakugou, teachers and classmates]

When the Dorms are finally built, everyone is settling in well, but things become tense as people begin to realize something isn’t right with the recently rescued Bakugou.

[Cannon compliant right up to after the License Exam]

hands down my favorite fic in the fandom right now. it’s the one that converted me into a Bakugou lover. if you have any fondness for Bakugou as a character then it’s likely you’ve read this one already, but if not, I can’t recommend it enough. incredibly depressing, but with the hope that comfort is coming soon in the next few chapters.

The Kids Will Be Alright, Eventually by NotWithThatAttitude

Bakugou is spiraling in the aftermath of Kamino and his friends are starting to notice. He's stubborn, aggressively independent, and less than willing to dig into his past, but after a breakdown that ends with a painful secret revealed, he starts to get help.

Whether he likes it or not.

Meanwhile, a new kind of villain threatens an uneasy peace following the loss of Allmight. Whispers build as a new narrative slowly takes shape:

Hero society needs to change.

Feat. Therapy, Dadzawa, best boy Kirishima, dysfunctional families, healing, growing up, and the mortifying ordeal of being known

guys.. the medical accuracy of this fic is just... *chef’s kiss*

I rarely see mental health genuinely handled well in fics, but this one goes above and beyond. kudos to the author for doing such excellent research into psychology, and making the application of it in here not-boring. also, while this one does have abusive!Mitsuki, it’s done in a way that feels realistic, and how I usually will see it occur in real life, rather than just for the hurt/comfort feels.

fair warning, the fic can be incredibly triggering (themes of severe depression, PTSD, panic attacks, rape survival, abuse survival, suicidal ideation/attempted suicide, among other things), so be safe and heed the tw’s if you decide to read. legitimately one of my Top Favorite fics in this fandom.

Lock and Key by autochorystalize

Bakugou made a choked, gravelly noise before croaking out a low, “You can’t be serious.” His fingers ached to blow up everything in the room.

“I’m sorry, young man, but you can’t change reality! This sometimes happens.” Recovery Girl clicked through his file, adding a new symbol in a previously empty slot.

- - -

A pair of eyes discreetly locked on to an explosive blond plowing his way forward, parting people in his path. He recognized the kid, of course. Anyone in the underbelly of society would recognize him, after the publicity of both UA’s Sports Festival and the events leading up to All Might’s fall. The uniform he was wearing cast away any doubts about the young man’s identity.

It was a bit of a surprise that the little firecracker presented as an omega.

- - - - - - - - -

Or: there are certain types of evil that seemed too distant, archaic violations and perversions that would never actually threaten bright-eyed heroes-in-training in the clean, modern world...but sometimes those evils aren't as distant as one might think.

remember when I said that I love a/b/o fics that are full of plot and world-building and gender-induced tension? that’s this one. the OC’s are fabulous and you love to hate ‘em. also, it’s the fic that made me fall head-over-heels for the TodoBaku dynamic, so it’s got a special place in my cold, dead heart. 

be warned, there are rather explicit non-con scenes between an adult (OC) and a minor (Bakugou) in this one, but the author warns for them in advance, and you could likely skip those parts without missing too much if you need to.

Never and Always, Eventually by Wawa_Boonliang

"Katsuki can remember the exact moment that he and Deku…that he and Midoriya Izuku became friends. He can also remember the moment he and Izuku became fierce rivals, a time when they were almost enemies.

However, what he remembers most clearly about their relationship is the moment that they moved passed rivals and became something more close than mere friends. Something more like brotherhood, something forged in fire and secured in the middle of a battlefield or in the midst of natural disaster where the number of the dead was climbing ever higher. And then it was torn from him."

Katsuki is given a second chance. A chance to save everyone. A chance to change everything.

But should he?

y’all. I’m a slutty, slutty whore for time travel fics. a time travel fic with autistic!coded Bakugou? it was love at first read.

Lessons Learned by Sif (Rosae)

Rather than the police station, Katsuki's friends bring him to a hospital after rescuing him from the villains. His wounds were minor, but it didn't make having them treated any less important. As it would so happen, Best Jeanist was also brought to this hospital after the attack.

Sometimes, small choices have a big impact on how a story plays out.

classic Bakugou hurt/comfort. this fic opened me up to the potential that could be a genuinely good Best Jeanist & Katsuki mentor-mentee relationship, and I kind of dig it and search ravenously for it in other fics now. I’m also a huge fan of the behind-the-scences Pro Hero Chat group.

Slope by sunfleurmoon

“I’m not a hero. Or a good person,” Katsuki says, giving Aizawa a pointed look, “So leave me alone. I don’t care about the League or UA, or you—” The two years he’s been away have been fine, more than fine, fucking fantastic actually if you ignore the bi-monthly near-death experiences. He doesn’t need this place. He doesn’t miss this place.

And yet, longing, a childish desire to tear up, or maybe blow something to bits, they all twist in his chest like a band of traitors regardless. “—I just want to go home.”

Or: the one where Katsuki and Izuku fail the first term exam, Aizawa discovers their pasts, and Katsuki is booted from UA. Featuring questionable descriptions of villain organizations, a slightly illegal moving shop, and your favorite emotionally constipated badass in distress with a newly discovered penchant for collecting strays.

paaaaaaiiiiiiiin. the hurt is ALIVE in this one. lots of tortured, angsty exploding child goodness. the OC’s are excellently crafted, and the Bakugou & Eri relationship? beautiful. definitely deserves a read.

Ground Zero by WindsChild8178

In the wake of Kamino, Katsuki is tested more than anyone could imagine. Bound by a villain’s quirk to keep his silence or die, he lives each day knowing it might very well be his last. He continues to work towards becoming a hero, keeping his secret from his classmates and teachers, focusing on making it through each day and trying not to allow the panic or depression to get the best of him. When the villain finally corners him with demands in exchange for his life, there is really only one answer Katsuki Bakugou can give.

honestly don't know which I want updated more - social media 101 or ground zero. this author's fics are amazing, and I really wasn't expecting the twist in this one. can't wait for windschild to come back to this fic some day.

The Defect by LadyGreenFrisbee

"Why do you want to win the Sports Festival so badly?" 

Because I want to see if the defect could usurp the masterpiece.

(In which Endeavor holds a terrible secret and Bakugo has to suffer since childhood for it.)

a great concept, and I adore the shouto and Katsuki sibling interaction here. hoping the author will come back to this one some day.

A Name That You'll Remember by Heronfem

Kirishima Eijirou is a Hero. Bakugou Katsuki... is not. Trapped in his toxic workplace and increasingly desperate to get out, Red Riot's days are only brightened by a new villain known as Caution, who's not exactly villainous and keeps accidentally doing good deeds. But when a real villain appears, a threat from the past that demands that Red Riot make the ultimate sacrifice to keep the public safe, Bakugou is forced into saving the day... and eventually, Red Riot himself.

sob story good guy villains are my weakness, this fic is a gem, and I'd kill for the sequel.

Our Hero by AnonymousTwit

He felt everything jerk to the side and throw his balance off before he saw anything, dust clouding his vision and irritating his lungs as the earth itself opened up to swallow them whole. For a single moment, in a millisecond's time, his wild eyes locked with Raccoon Eyes', hers alight with fear and adrenaline-fueled desperation. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realized that it was the first time she'd looked at him with something other than long-deserved hatred in days.

And then he was free falling.

Or

After a particularly nasty encounter between childhood friends, the class learns about Bakugou and Midoriya's dark history and practically ostracizes Bakugou while trying to defend Midoriya. An earthquake during an outing has all sides regretting their decisions.

just fucking tear apart my self-sacrificing faves in every way imaginable while their loved ones watch on in terror. 💖🥰💖 this one is heavy on the Bakusquad and Class-1A feels, and VERY heavy on the Mina & Bakugou relationship (platonic).

Running back the tape, watching it replay by Faralyne

For someone ripped from their time, ripped from the few but strong relationships built by time and personal development, by self-reflection and swallowed pride, ripped from the one thing that made him feel worthwhile and needed and put-together, and forced to forge everything over again—Katsuki thinks he is handling it pretty fucking well.

Or

A villain’s quirk sends a 29-year-old Bakugou back in time to his middle school days.

am I a sucker for time travel? yes. am I a sucker for vigilante!bakugou? also yes. am I a sucker for this fic? literally refreshing the page in wait for an update as we speak.

Liability by sandelf

After All-Might dies rescuing Bakugou from the League, Bakugou is determined to prove it wasn't for nothing.

But the world is against him, his grief is overwhelming, and his stability is splitting at the edges.

very self-indulgent bakugou angst. tw for harassment, severe depression, and suicidality.

Special Mentions:

How To Win The Sport Festival: A Step By Step Guide by mhwright

Short re-imagining of the Sports Festival Arc if Shinso had planned a little better and worked a little harder to win the Sports Festival and if the match-ups had been slightly different. Self-indulgent fic of watching him succeed.

this is completely Shinsou-centric, not Bakugou-centric, but I love and adore it and am dying for a sequel. Shinsou is Best Boy here and you'll be rooting for him the whole time.

[thesunicarusfellfor]

Small Actions (Create Big Ripples) CC!Plat!Ranboo x GN!Reader

I've been thinking lately about this little drabble and it makes me a bit upset? Like.. I'm in this position high key but theres nothing I can do about it...

(R/R/n) stands for Ranboo's real name. Also if you're really tall.... No you're not. Shhhh. For plot purposes

You stayed away from social media as much as possible. Now, don't get me wrong, you used to love watching Youtubers play their games and happily interact with their fans.. But growing up, you never seemed to have enough money to donate when they streamed, or go to events where they were.

You had always wanted to tell them how much they've helped you through life, or shaped your personality.. Or saved you. But... They get told that every day by over hundreds of people.. So there would be no real sentiment behind it..

You'd probably just get a simple, "Aw. Happy I could help." Before turning back to their game without blinking twice.

So, you just watched silently. It hurt, you know? Wanting to thank them, or send them something to show your appreciation.. But you never seemed to be able to send it, with the thought that 'it won't really matter to them after five minutes.. You'll just be brushed over. It's pointless.'

Eventually it hurt too much to keep watching the content creators that raised you, so you just stopped and went on with your life.

It was hard, but at least you didn't have to deal with the fact that you would never be able to thank the people you watched for making your life that much better.

As time went on, while you still heard about the creators, it was just... less. Now people were non stop blabbering about these people from something called the DreamSMP?

Your sister was obsessed with it to say the least, and you always heard her mumbling about strange people like Technoblade? Or Sapnap? And apparently some people had children with inanimate objects?! Like a Samsung Fridge and a salmon?! Yeah you didn't even bother trying to understand what she was rambling about most of the times. It just spun your head in circles.

"Okay, I gotta take my mutt to the vet," Your sister and closest friend, (S/n), tilted her head towards the backseat to her dog as you sat in the passenger seat. "You think you'll be good to do the shopping for two or so hours? I'll call when I'm finished, and plus I know how you can get distracted with looking at some things."

"Yeah, I think I'll be good." You nodded slightly, going over the list in your hand of things to get for your classes, food and just some clothing for the changing seasons.

(S/n) pulled into the parking lot and looked you over briefly, "You forgot your mask didn't you?" She watched as your hands flew up to your face to feel for the fabric, but you didn't find it so you fished through the pockets of your sweater before smiling nervously at the driver. "Uuugggggggghhhh. Of course. Okay, I got a new one from the merch store that you can use, but do not damage it! I spent a whole $30 on it!"

Scoffing as you rolled your eyes, you snagged the half white and half black mask away from her, "You and your merch. Honestly, (S/n), your obsession scares me. But anyway, thanks. I won't get it damaged, I swear." You pulled the mask onto your face after giving her a smile and walked into the store as she drove off.

Sighing slightly, you walked in, sanitized your hands, and set off on your journey to find the things you needed. Surprisingly, today seemed to be a good day as you miraculously pulled the card that didn't have the busted wheel!

Humming a soft tune to yourself, you paced up and down aisles in search of (S/n)'s favourite coffee. Pausing for a moment as you scanned the shelves, you finally spotted it and made a noise of anger as you realized it was on the very top shelf. "Oh, I hate it here..." You mumbled, a phrase you had picked up from your sister who was really big on trends like that.

Grumbling to yourself, you stood on the tips of your toes, jumped up and down, even climbed the shelves a small bit, but it just seemed to brush by your fingertips every time. Apparently it had been long enough to the point where someone had wandered into the aisle as well.

"Hey... Uh.. Nice mask? You need help?" A male voice asked very hesitantly making your head turn towards him. He was t a l l and literally could tower over you if you got close enough. He had fluffy dirty blonde hair possibly? It looked a little damp so you couldn't really tell. Rain had been in the weather report, but guess it couldn't hold off long enough. Oddly enough, he was wearing dark sunglasses and the exact same mask as you?

'Maybe he's a fan of one of (S/n)'s fandoms?' You stepped back with a sheepish smile and a blush. "Oh! Yes please! Uhm.. Also, could you tell me about what these masks represent? This is my sister's... And I kinda want to make sure I'm not looking like I'm part of some gang or something."

The tall boy reached up for the coffee before pausing midway through and looking at you in surprise. "You don't know who... Oh, it's just from a Twitch Streamer.." He murmured rather softly as he got the coffee down for you.

With a cheerful "Thank you!" You placed the container in the cart. "Oh? Yeah that makes sense. My sister loves that kind of stuff. Are they... A good person?"

"I-I'd like to think so." He nodded quickly. "Are you not.. Like, a fan of content creators? Like.. Uh.. Dream or (P/F/C)?" (Past favourite creator)

"Well... I mean I used to really like (p/f/c) when I was younger. But it kind of... Saddened me, you know?"

He looked at you again and tilted his head a bit, "Saddened you? Did they do something bad?"

"No no! It's just... I try to avoid joining fandoms, even if they make me really happy while in them despite the toxicity. I really enjoy the people who create content, and I like watching them have fun... It's just.." Were you really gonna spill some personal stuff to some stranger who showed you the slightest bit of kindness? Not originally. But he kept watching you, patiently waiting for you to continue the sentence. "They'll... Never know.. How much they saved me."

"Oh.. I see. Yeah.. I've had that happen a lot. When, I watch this guy's streams," He pulled at his mask for a moment, "People always donate money and tell him how much they appreciate him for getting them through rocky times.. It's heartwarming to say the least but he does sound genuinely thankful."

"Oh that's sweet.. What does he do? Or what's he like?" You asked with a smile, although he couldn't see it, as you crouched down to get something from the sheleves. "Unless you have places to be of course!"

He looked a little surprised at first, "Ah... I got time. It's just.. Kinda nice being able to talk to people again after quarantine..." He trailed off briefly before taking something off the shelf as well and putting it in his basket, "Uh.. The streamer is a popular minecraft player. He recently hit a record during a stream and everyone lost their minds. He's a little painfully awkward at some points but he enjoys playing the games and interacting with his chat."

"Oh he sounds nice! I would definitely want to friends with someone like him!" You chuckled softly before frowning and glancing away. "Oh.. Popular.. So I'd be another comment in the flood of a chat.. Damn. I got a little excited. Oh! My bad, I'm (Y/n). Nice to meet you!" You laughed softly in an attempt to brush off the sad atmosphere you made.

"(R/r/n). But everyone just calls me Ranboo. Nice to meet you too." He sounded as if he was smiling but there was a soft sadness in his tone. "Do you not like popular streamers then?"

"No, it's just... that I had always wanted to tell them how much they've helped me through life, or shaped my personality.. Or saved me.. But... They get told that every day by over hundreds of people.. So there would be no real sentiment behind it.. I suppose it just left me feeling a bit hopeless and like a broken record of every other fan of theirs. So, I just watched silently. It hurt, you know? Wanting to thank them, or send them something to show appreciation.. But I never seemed to be able to send it, with the thought that 'it won't really matter to them after five minutes.. You'll just be brushed over. It's pointless.'.."

Ranboo seemed slightly more upset and he shifted his basket into his other hand, "I don't think it's like that at all.. I believe that streamers and creators truly cherish anyone who even interacts with their videos, and even though they know there's some people in the world who can't say anything or buy their merchandise, the creators still know that they're there. They appreciate everyone who comes along their path, whether they support them by giving them money, criticism or their attention!"

You blinked at how... Passionate your new friend was about this topic before smiling softly. "I guess... It never passed my mind.. Thank you Ranboo.. Hey, you wanna be friends and get to know each other more?"

His expression was unreadable due to the fabric covering his mouth and nose, and the glasses covering his eyes. "Oh! Sure!" He sounded quite happy, so you were guessing that you weren't being too awkward. "Here's my number, as long as you promise to never give it to anyone. Even if someone wants to get to know me, okay?"

You took out your phone and looked at him with a strange expression, but quickly nodded. 'Maybe he is just really strict about his privacy.' Once he gave you the number, you sent a quick text to him to give him your contact in return. "Great! It was wonderful meeting you, I hope we can hang out more often! After.. covid of course."

Eagerly nodding, Ranboo finished writing your contact into his phone and slipped it back into his pocket. "Oh yeah definitely! I'll see you soon, (Y/n)!"

Parting your separate ways, you looked down at the newly added contact, 🤍Ranboo🖤 (Platonic hearts), with a smile.

Maybe small actions weren't as useless as you thought...

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

I have been redirected from lost to ask you about the peaceful ways of this fandom before antis attacked (/hj) cuz as a new person, all I know is discourse.

Oh, hello! (and hi Lost o/)

I can’t imagine what it’s like for new fans joining just now. I am so sorry, hope you’re still finding it fun enough even with all the hell?

It’s kind of hard to conceptualize how big mcyt’s gotten in recent months to be honest. Every time something from this fanbase breaches containment I’m reminded of how painfully visible it all is.

Now...I wish I could tell you about “the good old days” and how they were so good and peaceful and calm, but I think that’d be looking at things through rose-tinted glasses.

To be honest, the thing about sparking up the discourse and the hatred isn’t even that it’s new. It’s just more constant.

My first exposure to DSMP specifically, and I’ve said this before, was the Pizza Hut situation. DSMP wasn’t really it’s own fandom yet? But, the time that I started actually watching and getting more engaged and following along was...well, a bit on the topical side, actually, but it was #kickschlatt. Mid-July 2020.

My memory of it isn’t perfect — it’s almost been a year now — but to sort of illustrate my point about how the discourse isn’t new but the places it’s coming from are, this situation sparked a huge conflict not really between mcyt fans and non-mcyt fans, but between dttwt, sleepytwt and schlatt’s fanbase. It was a hellhole of infighting. Sleepytwt were angry about Dream banning Schlatt, dttwt pulled one of the first instances I can recall of actually getting a negative hashtag about the SMP trending, which all the CCs thought was immature. But the damage had already been done since everyone mistakenly thought Dream had banned Schlatt because of the hashtag, which...yeah. 

It wasn’t pretty.

The thing about this discourse is that it’s been around for a very, very long time. It’s just that twitter’s not really made much...progress? They’ve just been repeating the same mistakes over and over again as if it would actually end up better this time somehow. They even got a #kick_______ hashtag trending pretty recently and as far as I can tell, most of them hadn't even been there for #kickschlatt. They were repeating history not even knowing they were doing it, and just like last time, it was an ineffective mess that didn’t actually help anything. 

And that, to me, is the big problem here. 

I know we joke about Twitter discourse being six months behind Tumblr, but honestly I don’t think it’s even that? It’s not really that they’re lagging behind so much as they’re just... completely stagnant, really. They haven’t gotten better in a year, they’ve just gotten larger.

It’s the same thing a year later. The thing about it nowadays, is that it’s just the same old crap but more. It’s #kickschlatt but a new one every fucking day.

#kickschlatt didn’t work because CCs aren’t obligated to listen to Twitter, and I really wish the community had learned from that. Instead, they’re just trying it again. Criticism is fine, but you just can’t expect people to always see or hear that critique.

CCs are not your friend. Like, genuinely. Not just for the meme, but actually. And I’m not saying that because of that they’re immune to criticism or something, but when you have people trending ‘tommy neg’ and saying that Tommy’s running from his problems because he’s leaving the app for his own mental health? That he HAS to be listening to them shouting at him or otherwise he’s some sort of horrible person?

That doesn’t sit right with me. 

Like, not to bring out the dreaded p-word, but it kinda strikes me as a little...y’know...slash parasocial. CCs don’t have to listen to you. They aren’t obligated to talk with you or interact with you. You can have discourse and civil discussion amongst yourselves as a community without the CCs even being involved! Hell, that’s how it works on Tumblr. We talk amongst ourselves, we disagree sometimes, but never do we expect a CC to be here watching us saying shit.

Saying that “complaining about Twitter = complaining about minorities” just rubs me the wrong way because like...Twitter’s a platform. It’s a specific community. Minorities aren’t specifically limited to one fucking bird app. When CCs complain about Twitter, trust them to mean that they’re complaining about Twitter.

Yeah...I dunno. Maybe I’m being pessimistic. Maybe it has gotten better in SOME way, but I just haven’t seen it. It’s just gotten more frequent. It’s just gotten nastier and more mean-spirited. For every person trying their best to be helpful and actually educate, there are ten more voices screaming and shouting and drowning them out. The thing about Twitter is that you can’t have a conversation with an angry mob. You can’t turn to a buzzing hivemind of anger if what you’re looking for is guidance.

The thing about the “old days” isn’t that they were without conflict and completely peaceful. It’s just that you had some time to freaking breathe. Nowadays it seems like even something so universally beloved like MCC’s been tainted by that toxicity.

Everybody’s just...angry. all the time.

It’s the natural life cycle of a fandom, I think. When it grows large enough, eventually it’ll have to deal with more and more negativity and hate. Unfortunately for us, a large part of the fandom is on Twitter, which is just...the straight up worst platform you could possibly choose to deal with discourse on.

Tumblr isn’t perfect, but jesus Twitter is built for toxicity. Which is how you get situations like this. It’s how you get entire groups of CCs leaving the app because sooner or later, it gets too toxic to deal with. 

So, here’s a little piece of advice:

This won’t be the last time. 

The next controversy will come, and then the next one, and the next one, and the next one after that. Heck, you probably already know that.

And you know what?

You, a random fan, are not obligated to care about every single thing that happens. Because if you feel like you have to keep up with every little piece of discourse, sooner or later you’re gonna burn yourself out.

So sit back, take a deep breath, relax if you gotta. Fandoms are for fun, not for stress, and I hope you find that here.

(Sorry if this got a little long and rambling!)

[dramionediscussion]

Just weighing in to say I don’t personally find the DHr fandom toxic. I’ve enjoyed it for about 5 years now, through AO3, Tumblr, and most recently Discord, where I’ve enjoyed the chance to chat w some of my favorite authors directly. I’ve read and commented on thousands of fics at this point. Maybe Ive never experienced negativity because, as a reader, I’ve only ever left positive comments? There has definitely been fic I don’t like, and I stop reading/avoid those authors in the future. All of my social media interactions have been positive. I’ve never personally witnessed individual people getting called out for things, but the way Discord servers go, with big groups live chatting for hours, I can imagine what could happen. But in my experience, at least, “toxic” chat is not the norm—I’ve never even seen it. It’s mostly just a love-fest.

Same experience I have. I've been in this fandom over 10 years now, admin for dramioneasks for almost 10 as well. I haven't seen a lot of bad things. Yes there was that blog but again from what was revealed, that seemed more of a a personal attack against one group of people from another, rather than actual dramione fandom stuff. I have seen and participated in discussions about downloading fics, leaving reviews and hate against our fandom. But it never gets bad.

I genuinely didn't know that authors and their fans bully others for disagreeing with what was written. I haven't experienced that myself. I believe it though.

It is very possible to be away from that aspect of the fandom.

Every single fandom has it's toxic part. But like you said, I don't think it's a big part of the fandom.

- Lisa

[camrensrealbish]

Blame it on the fandom

I’ve been thinking about the podcast appearance a lot in the last few days.  I have questions for you, Lauren.

Promotion and Camren headlines

It’s interesting when you look at the ways they used Camren for promotion. In the early Fifth Harmony days, to bring LGBT teenagers to the fandom. Then quietened it with Brad and Austin PRs. Then “I found the girl” was released. And then finally Lauren’s coming out followed by the “never real... ever” tweet. Tweet that btw made headlines and brought Lauren’s name into mainstream, ensuring that the first bit of information general public learns about her is that she was not in a relationship with Camila Cabello. 

And now apparently they’re doing it again, use Camila to promote Lauren, while simoultanously slamming Camila’s gay rumors. Very clever if you ask me.

Toxicity

Are you seriously trying to tell me that there is more blame in teenagers who wrote fanfics, that in people who used two girls’ relationship in whatever way they wanted to sell a product?  

The fandom shouldn’t be to blame, but you know who? The management and the label. People in control of her career and image. People who didn’t give a f*ck about her mental health and didn’t offer any help or support when she was starting her career in LA and everything was happening at once and closeted Lauren started to panic. The people who were “making decisions on regular basis to fuck them over, to make them literal slaves”. Most importantly, people, who’ve worked in the industry for years and knew where all of this would lead to and how to manipulate the story. 

And ok. Maybe Lauren didn’t know better in 2013/14 and the fandom, who was pointing out all the moments her feelings were showing seemed like an obvious target, because she didn’t know how to deal with her feelings for Camila and her internalized homophobia. But am I really supposed to believe, that nothing has changed since then and she’s learnt nothing?

That Lauren, who’s outspoken about the contracts and the bullshit of music industry, even when she’s not supposed to, that this Lauren would blame the fandom and not the people in charge? 

Fake it till you make it

That was some great acting on Lauren’s part (a little bit worse on Becky’s). Girl, maybe you should be the next one with acting career?

I wonder how many times she rehearsed her speech. Because without a doubt, it was prepared with her team and thought through thoroughly. What was our biggest argument against them saying Camila and Lauren were not dating? The way they look at each other and some of Camila’s slips (”Mine’s Lauren”,”Who are you kissing under the mistletoe?”, “Why do you assume it’s a boy”). So they made sure to take all our arguments away.

I also did not have that connection with her. Camila and i were just very good friends at that time, you know what i'm saying, and we respected each other. When each other would talk we would look at each other, we had love for each other, like genuine friendship, you know what i'm saying, and in the latinx culture i don't know about you, but growing up I was very affectionate with all of my friends i was very, like, we would tell each other shit that yeah, maybe you would think we were gay if you were listening over, but we weren't, you know what i'm saying.

It made me really angry, because seriously? You’re gonna use heteronormativity to shove Camila deeper into the closet?

Why now?

That was the first question that popped in my mind right after I recovered from the shock of hearing Camila’s name. Why now after 3 years of ignoring Camila’s existence?

LJ1 is coming. Album with a lot of songs about Camren in it, that you can easily connect with Camila’s side of the story. Why am I so certain about it? Because she made sure to incorporate Camren timeline into the relationship with Lucy. 

I was like, I need to own this, you know? Like, of course she can’t be with someone who doesn’t want to be with her really, you know? That’s traumatizing. As someone who was really queer and accepted that about herself, and I loved that about her. She was so self-assured and who she really was and I really wanted to be like that but I couldn’t give that at the time, so I had to deal with the pain of losing her because of that. Then she came back into my life and we had a very toxic relationship, because neither one of us was healed enough to be together, but we loved each other so much… that happened when I was 18. I wanted to be with her so badly that I didn’t even give her time or me time to even know if this was what I wanted or what she wanted. I was like “no, now we’re gonna be together” so I went all in and was like we’re going to be in this relationship. And I remember my mom being like… She knew, but she also – again, there was a lot of toxicity between this girl and I, this was not a healthy relationship, this was not anything to romanticize what I went through, but also, it was my story.“

Started as friends with benefits, Camila wanted more, but Lauren wasn’t confident in her sexuality, so they broke up and got back together as a couple in 2014. That’s exactly what we were speculating was going on with Camren then, what Camila confirmed in her songs (Feel it twice, Should’ve said it) and even mentioned in Zach Sang interview. 

They really decided to sink the ship this time. They’re not playing anymore, so I’d get prepared for a big shitshow in Shawmila circus, let’s pray it’s not marriage.