#I’ve been a fan since the comeback song. I’m a real one

[gaysforbyler]

I have no idea how to start this post, so I’m just going to do what I do best and ramble.

Firstly, the most important stuff. I want to say thank you to anyone who has ever read get him back, even if you hated it and immediately clicked off. I genuinely was not expecting anyone to actually read it, let alone engage with it at all. I love the little community that has built in my comment sections, you guys are seriously the sweetest people in the world. Receiving comments has been the highlight of my week these past six months (six months!). I just can’t believe that people were actually interested in my little story, especially since Will had a boyfriend, which the fandom (including me) tends to hate.

When I first came up with the idea, I was only about 25% sure I was actually going to do it. Part of the reason was because I had exactly four ideas for it: Will has a toxic boyfriend, he forces Will to drink, Will is emo, and Mike graffitis Will’s boyfriend’s car. The first eight chapters were literally improvised on the spot, idk how you guys put up with that.

The second reason was because I was never really a writer. I had tried writing in the past (when I was like 14 😐 and again a little over a year ago) but I was very bad. I really didn’t think I would be able to manage as big of a project as this, especially since my attention span is so tiny, but I decided to go ahead with it anyway.

Not to be Mike Wheeler, but that might have been the best thing I’ve ever done. It sounds stupid, because it’s literally just fan fiction, but I’ve had more fun doing this than I have in years. Get him back means the world to me, and I would love to keep posting an infinite number of chapters, but I’m burnt out and I kind of want it out of my face. If you didn’t see before, I might (probably) be doing some little stories to go along with it, because I can’t just leave this fic forever. The characters are my babies and I love them dearly.

Anyways, to wrap things up, thank you to everyone who supported me through this, I love you so much <333. Special shout out to my beta, you are seriously the only reason I was ever able to finish this. I have no idea how you read the messes that were chapters 1&2 and decided that was good enough to be locked in for life, but thank you so much!

I’m getting emotional now, I need to stop talking. I love the little guys I’ve been hyper fixating on since I as was 12, obviously shout out to them. My beautiful beautiful sons, love laugh love Byler.

[aubaee]

SERENITY: Schedule One

word count: 1354 SERENITY | next

synopsis: Who knew ‘We Got Married’ would bring back the heat for this upcoming season with an “ACE” couple, let alone a couple who ended terms with each other before their debut. Would their old flame spark once more or would they pass each other instead? With the exciting news starring Lee Heeseung from ENHYPEN and Choi Areum from SERENITY, would the old lovebirds be able to show us their profound partnership through challenging missions under one roof?

[Ari POV]

"Congratulations ladies! You did amazing out there," Yui exclaims as we enter our dressing room, the stylists surprising us with confetti thrown into the air. We grin triumphantly, it was our fifth win for our comeback promotion 'Eyes On Me' from our tenth album ‘Yours Truly’. All those sleepless nights of producing the songs while on tour were definitely worthwhile seeing our fans enjoy our music. It’s always fun having to interact with them during pre-recording as they show us their undying love and support.

Jaemi, our leader, raises the trophy excitedly waving it in the air, "Our hard work is paying off! You know what calls for tonight~"

"Sleeping in?" I joke half-heartedly, earning a 'are you for real' look from Lihua. "What? I just miss my bed." I continue to pout.

“Anyways,” Hyejin continued, dismissing my joke as she shook her head, “Why don’t we celebrate by eating good tonight with delivery?”

“That sounds like a good idea. I’ve been craving fried chicken these past few days,” Lihua gestures to her stomach, rubbing it in circles. "We should also add tteokbokki and ramen to the order."

“Should we also go on Weverse for a bit?” I suggest, earning a nod of approval from our leader.

“We should, especially since we won an award today,” she said, “I’m sure they’d enjoy that. We can go on while we wait for delivery.”

"Since your promotions will be ending next week, I'll have the company request a short break for you girls soon after the scheduled activities. You've worked hard for the past year during the world tour. It's about time you deserve a break," Yui announces, quickly taking note of it on her phone. However, I doubt the company will even acknowledge how overworked we have been since the tour. Our fans, Aurora, have been active on social media platforms regarding the demand for a vacation to our company. I've noticed how tired my members are despite the facade we display for our audience. I'm worried that it will become too late and the public will be outraged by the company's neglect. I sigh, eventually, our voices will be heard before anything serious happens.

"Hopefully we'll be able to go somewhere with no cameras," Lihua said while removing her in-ear pieces, setting her mic down in its case. "I still need to go to Monaco from my bucket list. I need to see Lando at least once in my lifetime."

"Honestly, I doubt that. We've been the hot topics for news articles since last year," Hyejin states, quickly dismissing our hopes of privacy. "Especially since all eyes are on us during promotions."

"If only these paparazzi could leave us alone, we'd get a sense of peace of mind," I interject, my hair stylist quickly adjusts my hair for our photo to be taken soon for our twitter page.

"Maybe one day there will be world peace," Jaemi counters with a shrug. "Should we head out soon to take our photos?"

"Whoever is done touching up can take their solo selfies first," Yui announces, "We do have a dance challenge with a few groups today."

"Alright, I'm taking off first then," Lihua raises from her seat, quickly taking her phone and trophy in hand, with quick snaps on the camera roll with a variety of different angles and poses.

"I'll favorite the ones I like," Jaemi announced as it was her turn to take photos with the trophy.

"Which groups are we doing the dance challenge with again?" I ask, tilting my phone upwards with the trophy by my face. I smiled, quickly giving different types of facial expressions on camera.

"We'll be with Stray Kids and SEVENTEEN today," Hyejin answers before taking photos of herself.

"Ohh, that means Lihua gets to be with her boyfriend~" Jaemi teases as she nudges by her side.

Lihua shakes her head with a smile, "Don't get me started with you now."

Jaemi laughs, her brows raised in response, "I'm just saying, I'm glad that our fandoms were happy for you and Mingyu. Shoot, I was scared when the company officially announced your relationship with Mingyu."

"Oh shush, don't remind me. We were both in a pickle at the time," with a groan, Lihua pinches Jaemi on her side. "Knowing our fandoms, they're very respectful and considerate to us."

About six months ago before our world tour began, Mingyu and Lihua were caught by paparazzi during one of their late-night dates which caused a stir in the industry. Not long after the release of their article scandal, causing distress to some netizens regarding their relationship status, our company made an official announcement confirming their relationship to the world and that they’ve been an item for over a year. Of course, not everyone was pleased to hear the exciting news from the agency, but that didn’t stop the couple from showing their affection for one another, which quickly gained massive support from both fandoms and non-fans. Now, they’re known as the “VISUAL CHEFZ” couple, earning the nickname from their fandoms.

"Alright ladies, let's take the group photo now," Yui interjects their banter, catching our divided attention to our manager. "Go out the halls and take the photos by the stairs. Let's go."

"Yes ma'am," we all say in unison, walking out of our room together.

***

"Thanks for your hard work," the girls, Lihua and Hyejin, bow towards Mingyu and Soonyoung after quickly finishing the dance challenge for each other's promotions with the approval nod of our manager.

“Congratulations again on winning!” Mingyu grinned sheepishly, opening his arms for Lihua, which she returned with a hug. If this man isn’t the most obvious person on earth, he is so love-struck for Lihua. I chuckle at his demeanor towards her. It’s so cute looking at their interactions.

Do you want to know the story of how it all started for the couple? I'd say it was all due to us playing Cupid, by 'us' I mean Soonyoung and I. We became close after doing a couple of dance challenges together, with him quickly adding me to one of his group chats with other dancers.

I was shocked to see a text message from him one day, asking me about Lihua, which I assumed Soonyoung wanted to be more than just friends. Turns out it was actually Mingyu who wanted to get close to her.

From passing each other through the company hallways to doing dance challenges together, Mingyu finally received the courage to ask Lihua for her phone number.

I look towards Soonyoung who also glanced towards me with his eyebrows raised, a playful glint in his eyes. "Oh boy," I muttered under my breath, "Here comes trouble." Soonyoung tilted his head toward the couple who was too busy in their own world to acknowledge his presence as he slowly crept up to them, or rather Mingyu specifically. Soonyoung bumps into Mingyu from behind, sending him to corner Lihua on the wall with his arms trapping her in between. She looks up with a surprised look as Mingyu briefly apologizes to her with a quick kiss on the cheek, quickly chasing down a mischievous hamster down the halls. Ah, I can’t wait to relax and finally be in bed.

***

[SERENITY Dorm]

"Wait a minute," I say, trying to digest the announcement coming from my manager Yui, "So, what you're trying to say is that the reality show I'm selected for is We Got Married."

I stood up from my couch in disbelief, "You're kidding with me right?" I say, my eyes pleading for Yui to say it was a prank. My streak of not getting into a dating scandal quickly crumbles down the drain. Knowing how dispatch and the netizens react, they'll automatically assume one of us is in a relationship or spread rumors like usual. "I can't get out of this can I?"

"Oh honey, I wish it was. The director personally chose you as the next star to go on." Yui states, giving me an apologetic look. "You'll have to sign the contract tomorrow first thing at the company. The director will have a brief meeting with you in the morning." Ah, I wish I was in Monaco instead of being here.

a/n: first chapter is here~ i hope you enjoy and look forward to this smau series 🥹

pls like, comment & reblog ♡

[dustedmagazine]

Camera Obscura — Look to the East, Look to the West (Merge)

Photo by Robert Perry

A plangent guitar, a shuffle of drums and then the voice. The crystalline clarity slightly weathered and more lovely for it. After the 2015 death of keyboard player Carey Lander, Traceyanne Campbell and Camera Obscura took an extended break before reconvening for some live shows in 2019. On Look to the East, Look to the West, their first album since 2013, Campbell’s voice and her ear for melody remain undiminished. As does her ability to write and sing lines that take your breath away, make you well up or smile, the eye for a telling detail that encapsulates everything about a person or situation. Joined by guitarist Kenny McKeeve, bassist Gavin Dunbar, drummer Lee Thomson and new keyboard player Donna Maciocia, Campbell dissects love, loss, and heartbreak with elegant candor.

That opening track “Liberty Print” tells the story of the classic bad boy now passed. The humor is gentle and self-directed playing on the band’s twee image —  “then you’ll see I like Liberty Print/Is that shallow of me?”  The song fills out and the tempo quickens as Campbell builds the narrative of regret for lost love. Her denouement is devastating in its simplicity “I had to visit your mother/You were her only son/I went to visit your mother/You were her only son.” The band eschews the perky jangle of their previous albums for a country soul feel. Guest pedal steel guitarist Tim Davidson echoes Campbell’s Patsy Cline crying notes over Thomson’s brushed snare railroad rhythm and Maciocia’s almost honky-tonk piano on “The Light Nights.” On “Big Love” McKeeve lays down a wandering Nashville riff as Campbell describes a watching a friend’s tortured relationship (“We watched you swoon/As she peacocked the room”) before switching perspective with the repeated closing line “Just let your hand slip down, imagine I’m there now” over Hammond organ and harmonizing sighs. The loveliest moments come during “Sugar Almond” in which Campbell memorializes Lander. Maciocia provides minor key accompaniment as Campbell remembers her friend -  “I was always such fan of your rabbity eyes/Sugar-coated almonds as grey as Glasgow skies”  and sings her loss with “I’ll match Bette Davis drink for drink/I’ll cry like Tiny Tears over your favorite pink/I’ve had the worst thoughts I could ever think/Won’t you sing to me, Carey”

Camera Obscura’s comeback album is a thing of real beauty. Campbell writes movingly about memory and friendship. Looking at what was rather than regretting what might have been with an honesty that goes directly to the heart of things. Look to the East, Look to the West is one of the most poignant albums of the year so far.

Andrew Forell

[callmecayce]

Happy Donghae Day!

2011 | 2012 | 2013 | 2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022

Well, we’ve made it through another year and it’s time for Donghae Day! To be quite honest, I don’t know that I thought I’d still be such a big kpop fan in the year 2023 - I’m not sure I was even thinking about 2023 when I became a kpop fan back in 2011. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that 12 years have passed and then other times it seems it went by in a flash. But here we are - on the 12th annual Donghae Day!

For those (very few) of you who are new - October 12, 2011 was the day I learned about kpop. I’ve been celebrating this day in various ways since then. Prior to 2016 (when I was working 2 jobs), I usually went out to dinner with friends or treated myself to something nice. Since I started my full time job in 2016 (!) I’ve taken the day off almost every year (except 2020) if I was working. And this year is no exception! I don’t have any real big plans, except to go to H Mart and maybe Trader Joes. My life is so exciting, I know.

But that’s been the theme of the past few Donghae Days, ever since the pandemic took over our lives. I am one of the few people who still doesn’t go out (I haven’t really been sick since 2019) and see people that often, though I am seeing people, so I am not a complete shut-in. But Donghae Day isn’t to talk about these bad things (and god, there have been so many this year since the entire world is on fire). Instead, it is to talk about things that are good and happy - because those do exist.

Most every day (unless I’m off visiting my dad), I fire up my watch later and listen to the most recent releases (kpop and others). There’s a lot of great music out there and finding it and consuming it makes me happy, as does sharing it. That’s why I still do my song-a-day playlists! Every day since Kpoptober 2020, I’ve been posting one song a day and it’s still going. My first kpoptober was 2019 and I’d originally meant to just post in October, but after the pandemic, I decided I wanted to share music every day, so here we are. It’s a true labor of love, since all the tracks I post are ones I like (and sometimes adore). You can find links to all of the playlists (YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Music) by year here:

song-a-day playlists

Also in 2023 (some sad stuff happened: Moonbin, I miss you) - there were new groups that debuted and others that had comebacks, but for me there were a few specific comebacks that made me really happy:

Teen Top

Infinite

EXO

ONF

It’s hard to explain, but I don’t know that I thought either Teen Top or Infinite would ever come back, in spite of the fact that neither group had ever mentioned they were disbanded. Both of those releases were great and I am so happy they’re still making music. EXO coming back was also quite a shock (especially considering all the drama surrounding them and their contracts). However, their release was enjoyable as well (and in the process, my favorite members changed again - don’t ask or maybe do). And, of course, the rest of of ONF returned from the military - what a delight! Their release was also wonderful (and I think their albums might arrive today, which how perfect!) and as great as their previous ones. And while, sure there are plenty of other groups who’ve come back with great release this year (Just B, I’m looking at you), these four really meant a lot to me.

Over the past year it’s not just music that I’ve been consuming. I’ve made my return to watching kdramas and watched a couple of Chinese dramas as well. This year (2023) I’ve watched (and finished) 6 dramas (see them here), not as many (yet) as 2021, but more than 2022 (when I watched none). I’ve also been watching a lot of anime, both with the (virtual) anime club I am a member of and on my own, which has been a lot of fun. I’m reading more and have found my way back to Animal Crossing again, which has been a lot of fun.

But the real thing that keeps me going are my friends and family. Donghae Day only exists because my journey as a kpop fan hasn’t been alone. I have made so many wonderful friends, some have come into and gone from my life, but many others are still here. Not all are connected by kpop, some are people I’ve known for years (online and off), others I’ve only gotten close to recently and still others I've known only through places like Discord. I am forever grateful to these people, close friends and acquaintances alike. They have made my life a better place and I hope that I’ve done the same for them, even in just the tiniest of possible ways.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading! And if this is your 12th post or even your first, thank you for joining me on this journey, whatever form it may take. I hope to see you in 2024!

[yeahnadya]

[TRANS] HYO’s New Expressions and Hues in Comeback Single ‘Picture’ (2/3)

Girls’ Generation’s Hyoyeon aka HYO has officially made her comeback with her latest single ‘Picture’, released on August 22nd. ‘Picture’ is HYO’s latest release in a year after the release of her mini album ‘DEEP’ back on May 16th, 2022.

The single was released along with a music video which has garnered millions of views. The music video shows HYO as the center of attention as dozens of photographers try to take a picture of her face. 

Each scene depicts the exciting and energy filled rhythm of the song, while the lyrics speak of falling in love and the hope to stay together forever, just like a picture.

HYO describes ‘Picture’ as a way for her to express new music and genres that she has wanted to show for a long time. 

In her correspondence with CNNIndonesia.com, HYO expressed that she has worked hard in preparing for this comeback so that the fans will enjoy it.

The singer whose full name is Kim Hyoyeon also shared her 16-year experience of working in the Kpop industry, as well as other interesting stories.

Q. Congratulations on your comeback! How do you feel releasing ‘Picture’ and coming back after one year? HYO: It’s been a year since I released ‘DEEP’ and now I’m back with ‘Picture.’ I really enjoyed the process of preparing this song.

This is a genre that I’ve wanted to try and express as best as I can, and I’ve put a lot of thought and effort into it, from the concept to the hair and make-up.

A lot of the meetings were fun! I hope you will also like ‘Picture’ as much as I do, and please show a lot of support.

Q. What is the inspiration behind ‘Picture’? Is it a song based on personal experience? HYO: When I was active as a dancer, I really liked the Samba genre. So when choosing a DJ setlist, I often choose genres like Moombahton.

From there I realized that I wanted to show the Moombahton genre not only through my DJ setlists, so that’s how ‘Picture’ was created.

Q. How would you describe ‘Picture’ in one sentence? HYO: To me it would be, “Let’s have this moment last forever as a picture.” I tried to express the song lyrics in one sentence.

Q. When is the best time to listen to ‘Picture’? HYO: I know the perfect time to listen to ‘Picture’, which is when the sun is shining.

There are songs that are nice to listen to before you go to sleep, or during a sunset, but for ‘Picture’, the best time is from when the sun rises to just before the sun sets. 

Q. What are the most memorable moments when preparing for this comeback? HYO: The most memorable moment is when I listened to the song for the first time. I felt something in my heart and I will never forget that feeling. 

Other moments are when I was shooting the music video. The location looked like a vast coastline, but the real location was a horse stable.

We shot during the rain and kept shooting until the sun set. It was a really fun experience.

Q. Congrats on the 16th anniversary of Girls’ Generation! How do you feel after reaching this milestone? HYO: Girls’ Generation has reached our 16th anniversary, and last year on our 15th, we held a special fanmeeting and released an album as a full group. It’s all very meaningful.

This year for our 16th anniversary, I’ve also seen many fans post congratulatory messages on social media. Thank you and congratulations to our fans as well.

Q. What are your favorite moments both as a Girls’ Generation member and as a solo artist? HYO: I have many favorite moments as a Girls’ Generation member, but the most memorable one is when we were all on tour together. That’s when we all got to be together physically and met with the fans often.

Besides that, other memorable moments are when we would put on an amazing performance on stage.

As a solo artist, when I’m active as DJ HYO, I get to travel abroad and meet a lot of fans. It’s so fun to see the audience enjoy my setlist and dance together.

[let-them-read-fics]

What Could've Been

Requested By Anon: "pls do a rosé or jennie imagine where the reader is into them but they just keep rejecting her. then they just cross the line one day and say hurtful things to y/n so the reader just ended up stopped pursuing them. then someone else (could be the other rosé or jennie also of yk what i mean) became interested in y/n and they get all petty and jealous yk djajdua,, COULD BE ANY ENDING HFHSHAU I'M JUST A REAL SUCKER FOR IMAGINES LIKE THIS TYSM"

Pairing: Love Triangle -- Jennie x Fem!Reader and Rosé x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~ 7,333

Warnings / Misc. -- Angst, Pining, Rejection, Crying, Fluff

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: ⚠️ Important ⚠️ Class, gather round -- we have some things to discuss. I'm not angry, just... disappointed. *dramatic music*

First off, I want to address something with asks: as I've stated before, there's no certain amount of time that any one request will take me. Sometimes I'm more inspired by one than others, and sometimes I legitimately lack the time or brainpower to write a piece that holds true to my standards.

Please, refrain from messaging me multiple times about a request. Once is fine, especially if it's been awhile since you first asked, but I'm doing my best to give you starving fans the content you wish to see, and that takes time.

To those of you who continue to be patient with me: I sincerely appreciate it.

Secondly, I hope you enjoy this. ♡ Happy Reading ♡

PS ~ Anon, I still love you. Now enjoy this fic or you're grounded.

PPS ~ It gets better as it goes on

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

"Thank you," you politely say to your driver, handing him some money before stepping out of the sleek black car and onto the sidewalk. The bottoms of your shoes crunch lightly as they come in contact with the concrete, steadily announcing your course towards the performance hall. 

You let out a breath as you stand in the elevator, alone with your thoughts in the small space as it ascends. 

Your hands nervously palm the fresh bouquets of flowers you purchased on your way here -- the girls just finished a comeback stage, so you've decided to surprise them and show your love. You spent time picking out a personalized batch for each of them, making sure to mix their favorite colors and types, but you went even further for Rosé: you hand picked a larger, special array, choosing them based on their meaning and how much you think she'll appreciate them. Over the years, you've made sure to note her favorite ones; that came in handy tonight, and the florist assisting you definitely appreciated your attention to detail. 

Too chicken to go to her first, you decide to bring the other girls their gifts now and save Rosie for last. All of them are unwinding independently in their dressing rooms right now, enjoying some much needed alone time before coming back together later to celebrate. 

"Jisoo-yah!" You sing-song, rapping lightly on the door. It's slightly ajar, but you still knock out of respect for her privacy. 

In an instant, the door swings open to reveal a very happy unnie. "Y/N! I've missed you!" She nearly shouts, pulling you in for an eager hug. A surprised noise leaves her lips as her hands come in contact with the bundle behind your back, crinkling the plastic slightly in her excited state. 

"I got you a present," you say, smiling softly. Jisoo can feel the way your cheeks raise up, brushing against the skin of her neck as your head rests there, and her heart melts. After pulling out of the embrace, she wiggles her eyebrows at you.

"Well? Let me see!" You do as she asks with a chuckle, pulling her bunch out of the hold of the rubber band that's keeping them all together. "I got your favorite." You grin, sticking them out for her to see. Her eyes widen at the sight, and she's touched by the kind gesture. Flowers aren't particularly unique in terms of what companies and fans send them, but seeing the effort you put in makes it incredibly special. She couldn't be happier. 

"Y/N, you're the best." She presses a small kiss to your cheek as a thank you, and invites you in right after. Jisoo considers you to be one of the closest friends she has, so being apart hasn't been easy on her. You're the only person she's okay with venting and crying in front of, and she's been needing that lately. Sensing this, you pull a chair up to her vanity and let her fill you in on all the mayhem you missed out on during your time away, holding her hand for reassurance. When she gets a little frustrated, you rub her back gently, telling her to take her time. 

Jisoo is beyond thankful for you, and that becomes more and more apparent the closer you two get. Times like these hold a special place in her heart and remind her of why she loves you so much. You truly are a great friend to have, and there's no one she'd rather have in her corner. 

----

"Incoming! 3...2...1…" You call out, standing in front of Lisa's door, ready to knock it down and barge in. The greeting is an inside joke between the two of you, though neither of you know where its origins lie. 

"Yah! Hold on!" She shouts, nearly tripping and falling from how quick she rushes to the door. You laugh at the sounds of chaos coming from inside, wincing slightly when a thud rings out. Hair slightly disheveled, she opens the door with a huff. "This had better be good, because I almost died." 

Wordlessly, you reveal her present and smirk as the halfhearted scowl on her face disappears completely, giving way to a dopey grin. "You remembered?" She asks quietly, running her fingers over the petals of her all-time favorite flower. The fact that she sounds so shocked makes you sad -- not many people take enough time to notice the little things. They'd rather focus on profiting off of the girls' talents than actually caring enough to get to know them. 

"Of course I did, Lisa. You're one of my best friends; how could I forget?" The maknae pulls you in for a meaningful hug, allowing the gesture to tell you all the things she doesn't know how to express. She's not always the best with her words, but she makes up for it with her actions. 

"I really love you, dork. You know that?" She asks as she pulls away, ruffling your hair lightly. She cracks that smile that seems to make the world stop, and you just shake your head. 

"You'd better. Your flowers were the most expensive!" You tease, dodging her when she reaches out to grab you for that one. 

"Get back here!" She shouts, chasing you down the hall like a 5 year old, planning to get her revenge. 

---

"Jendeukie, open up!" You squeal, pounding on her door while throwing a look over your shoulder. Lisa is dangerously close, ready to tackle you as she continues charging down the hall. 

"Y/N?!" She exclaims from the other side of the door, clearly not expecting you to be here. 

"Hurry!" You can hear footsteps eagerly rushing towards the door, and just as she opens it, disaster strikes. 

Lisa's arms wrap around your waist, pushing you forward and right into Jennie. The three of you fall into her dressing room in a messy heap, limbs splayed in various positions as you yell together on the way down. You manage to keep the flowers out of harm's way, thankfully, and your arm remains stuck out just in case Lisa tries anything else. 

"Hello to you, too, Y/N." Jennie groans with a chuckle, the words coming out a little strained from all the weight on her. Lisa stands first, pulling you up right after, and you turn to help your best friend up as well. 

"I sure know how to make an entrance, huh?" Your lopsided grin makes Jennie weak in the knees, much like it has ever since she met you all those years ago, and she has to fight to contain the blush that rises to her cheeks. After bantering with Lisa for a few more moments you eventually push her out of the room, shoo-ing her back to her own in order to give yourself some one-on-one time with Jennie. 

You stick your tongue out at the maknae one final time before shutting the door and turning around, finding a very soft looking Jennie peering back at you. Her cheeks are pulled back in her signature gummy smile, and the fluffy sleeves of her Chanel sweater engulf her small hands as she cradles her face in them. 

Perhaps, if circumstances were different, you'd be hopelessly pining for this 5'4" angel instead of Rosé. Love knows no logic, though, and you're stuck chasing after a certain Australian beauty that never seems capable of giving you the time of day.

"I missed you," she pouts, pursing her lips adorably as she steps forward to wrap her arms around your shoulders. You pull her in and pick her up with a spin, smiling into her neck when she giggles in your ear. 

"Well, I'm here now. And luckily for you…." you start, allowing for some anticipation to build, "I come bearing gifts. Well, a gift. Singular." Jennie chuckles at your rambling -- it's one of the traits she finds most endearing about you, and she always hates it when people cut you down for it. It's adorable in every way. 

"Oh?" She asks, intrigued as she raises an eyebrow -- she's keeping the act up for you, of course, too fond of the cute smile on your face to tell you that she already knows what it is. You hand over the flowers with a little jig, too excited by how happy she looks to contain yourself. 

"They're beautiful, Y/N." She stops herself from adding a, "just like you," to the end of the phrase, wishing she was able to say things like that. You deserve to be reminded of how special you are everyday, and she knows her bandmate fails to do so. 

"So, what've you been up to?" You amble over to the couch that's tucked away in the corner of her dressing room, plopping down onto the cushions with a small bounce. Rosé's flowers lay beside you, and Jennie eyes them. 

"Same old, same old," she says, finally looking back at you with a tiny grin. "Practice for the comeback has kept us really busy lately, and somebody hasn't been there to tell us jokes at 3AM and keep us going." She playfully rolls her eyes, pretending to be annoyed. 

"My most sincere apologies," you hold a hand over your heart in mock regret, bowing your head with closed eyes. "On the bright side, though, I'm back in town for next month or two. I finished the business deals we had to handle abroad, so now I'm all yours." 

She knows you didn't mean hers, but that doesn't stop her from pretending. 

A happy noise of approval slips past her lips, and she claps excitedly. The sight reminds you of some of the childhood videos she's shown you, the two looking eerily similar to one another. No matter what may happen in her life, Jennie will most certainly remain that innocent young girl at heart, getting scared by everything that moves and loving with her all. She's an amazing person to know, and part of you feels sorry for everyone who'll never get the privilege of knowing her personally -- after all, everyone deserves a Jennie Kim in their lives. 

"Are you celebrating with us later?" She asks from in front of her mirror, now brushing her hair to busy herself. She runs the risk of making her feelings too obvious if she doesn't keep herself occupied. 

"I was planning to, yes. But that might depend on Rosé." You inform with a nervous chuckle, an anxious smile playing on your lips. When you look up and find her brows furrowed, you elaborate. 

"I'm gonna try to ask her out today when I bring her these flowers." You lightly chew your bottom lip out of habit, rubbing your hands together. The mere thought of such a task is daunting, especially with your not-so-perfect track record when it comes to her. You still try to cling to what little hope you have squirreled away in your heart, wishing with all your power that your sweet present will convince Rosé to at least give you a chance. 

Distracted by your thoughts, you don't notice the way that Jennie's face falls. Her heart is breaking in silence, splintering into pieces far too small to put back together. She knew this day would come eventually, given that you're a determined person and head over heels for Rosé, but that doesn't mean she was prepared to find out like this. The lovesick glimmer in your eye hurts Jennie even more, knowing that you're probably imagining what it would be like for her to say yes to you. This whole time, Rosé has been stringing you along -- giving you just enough hope to keep coming back to her, using your devoted acts of kindness selfishly -- and Jennie would do anything to make you see that. You don't deserve what she puts you through. 

"...Earth to Jennie!"

The brunette snaps back to reality and clears her throat, attempting to gather her thoughts again. 

"Sorry, just got lost there for a second." She says, looking back into your eyes after a moment. A curious look plays in them, and she can practically see you debating on whether or not to question her further. She lets out a quiet sigh of relief when you accept her answer, choosing instead to smile at her. 

"It's alright. But what's not alright, is that I've been sitting here for 5 minutes and you haven't come over to cuddle me. I mean seriously, a girl's gone for forever and her best friend doesn't bombard her with love?" You shake your head with an amused smile, throwing your hands in the air. 

Oh, the things she would do to change that title. 

Successfully suppressing the pang of longing that runs through her, Jennie quips back, "A month and a half is hardly forever, Y/N." 

"It felt like it, though. I missed seeing you." 

She finds you pouting, your arms folded across your chest like a toddler, and her heart melts. Any amount of time without you is too long for Jennie's liking, and she's happy to know you missed her as well. 

"Fine, I guess I can spare some cuddles." She pretends to be put out as she approaches you, really playing the part by huffing and looking uninterested. Inside, though, she's celebrating. She can't wait to hold you close again, even if it may lead to her hurting herself with the what-ifs and scenarios that play in her mind. 

"Yay!" You shout, pulling her into your lap before laying your head on her shoulder. Her heart beats rapidly at the proximity, and she prays to every higher power in existence that you don't notice it. 

She relaxes after a moment, releasing the tension from her muscles as she sinks into your embrace. It's warm and comforting, and she never wants you to let go. Her head rests on top of yours, and she's content just running her hands through your hair, feeling your calm breaths against her skin. 

She's so in love it hurts. 

-----

This'll convince her, you whisper to yourself, attempting to sound confident -- key word: attempting. If there's one thing you know about Rosé, it's that she loves to be difficult with you. You caught feelings for her years ago when you were first introduced to each other at a company event, and ever since then you've done nice things for her nonstop, hoping that she'd fall for you with time. The longer you wait, though, the more discouraged you get. Regardless, those times that she appreciates your efforts make up for all the rest, and you'd gladly take 100 instances of the "bad" in order to have even just one of the "good". 

After taking a deep breath, you knock on the door a couple times.

A sigh can be heard, sounding like a complete 180 from the reactions of the other girls. The subsequent footsteps are heavy -- like she's dragging her feet, not even wanting to get up in the first place -- and they work to dishearten you a bit. Nevertheless, you imagine how happy she'll be when she sees the surprise, and a small smile makes its ways onto your lips. All you want to do is brighten her day, if only for a moment. 

An indifferent expression rests on her face when she first opens the door, likely expecting someone else to be standing in your place. Not much changes when she realizes it's you, though a sliver of a smile does quirk up at the corner of her lips. 

"Hiya Rosie," you greet sweetly, unable to contain how wide your smile grows at seeing her again. She makes you feel like a giddy school girl, and you can't decide if you love it or hate it. 

"What's up?" She asks, more out of common courtesy than anything else. Her body leans against the doorframe, her left arm resting behind the door. She didn't throw it open or invite you in like the other girls, so that tells you that she probably doesn't want visitors. 

When you take too long to answer, she asks dryly, "Are you just gonna stare at me?" Her voice is laced with a slight undertone of annoyance -- one that makes you shrink down a bit. You can practically hear how exhausted she is, and part of you feels bad for disturbing her with your presence. 

"N-no, sorry." You curse yourself for looking like a fool. "I got you something that I think you'll enjoy." Her eyebrows raise slightly and you can tell she's intrigued, even if she may try to deny it. 

"Here." You declare, nervously fixing the plastic as you hold the bundle in front of you. You want it to look perfect for her. 

"I, uh, hand picked it." 

"Thank you, it's lovely." She says politely, taking them from you and bringing them up to her nose. She admires the gentle, pleasant scent of them, and smiles appreciatively at you.

You blush under her gaze, slightly tripping over your words as you respond, "Of course, I'm glad you like it." 

Now, the part you dread: when the conversation dwindles down, threatening to end entirely unless you step up to keep it going. 

"Well, how've you been?" You cringe at the overused question, but you're willing to employ it in order to hear her sweet voice for a little longer. 

"Look, Y/N, I really appreciate the gift and all, and I'm really happy to see you again, but I don't feel like talking right now. I just want to enjoy myself for a little bit." Her denial makes you scrunch your face up, embarrassed beyond belief as her words sink in. You should've known that flowers wouldn't suffice. Perhaps that last line stung the most -- you try not to read too far into it, but the idea that she doesn't enjoy herself when talking to you nags at your heart. 

"Yeah, yeah. For sure." You scratch the back of your neck, awkwardly taking a step away from her door and back into the hallway. 

"I'll see you at the get together later though, right?" You ask, kicking yourself when you realize how hopeful you sounded. You have to get better at hiding it. 

"Sure," she nods, sending you a smile and little wave before saying goodbye and shutting the door. 

Well, that was a bust. Damn. Back to the drawing board, it is -- though your ego will need a few hours to recover. 

---

"Lisa, I swear to god, if you come near me with that I'll punt you across this room." 

Your very serious, totally-not-exaggerated warning evidently worked against you, because the maknae soon raises her head to look at you, grinning like a maniac. Frosting from the cake she just messily cut into covers her hands, looking threatening as she wiggles them at you. 

"I mean in!" You shout as a last resort, slowly backing away. You accidently bump into Jennie in the process, but you fail to realize that it was part of the plan all along: she and Lisa are in cahoots. When the maknae lunges, swiftly striding across the room towards you, you attempt to move out of her path and get somewhere safer. Steady hands on your waist keep you anchored in place, though, and you try to fight them. 

"Jennie?! Let me go, she's right there!" You squeal, trying to pry her fingers off of your hips one by one. She merely laughs, whispering a sorry into your ear right before Lisa's hands run across your cheeks and neck. You squirm, leaning further back against Jennie to evade the younger girl as she does her worst. 

Now, practically having a face mask of frosting, you step away from the girls and glare at them. 

"Bullies, I tell you." You say to Jisoo, groaning when she busts out laughing. It doesn't take a genius to know that you look a mess, and you'd probably laugh at yourself if the roles were reversed. The others soon join in, and a chorus of belly laughs fill the air around you. 

"Go ahead, laugh it up," you tell the girls, nodding your head, "Just wait til I get my revenge. I'm coming for you, Manoban." You point a finger at her as you exit the room, grinning when you hear the oooo's that they let out at your threat, and you make your way to the bathroom at the end of the long hallway before you.

On your way back, you hear Rosé's voice filtering in from one of the lounge rooms that branch off of the main corridor. Intrigued, you stop walking and listen in. 

Big mistake. 

Your ears perk up when you hear your name roll off her tongue, though her subsequent sentences crush your spirits. 

"...I know, right? She's honestly so annoying. Like earlier, I was finally getting cozy after our performance and then she just showed up."

Too shocked to leave now, you stay where you are and try not to let her words hurt you too much. She listens to the person on the other end of the line, laughing at something they said. That sound -- one you’ve grown to love more than anything else in the world -- is turning into something you hate. It feels like she's laughing at you; which, in hindsight, she probably is. 

"Exactly! She had flowers for me, as if I don't get those almost everyday already, and I guess she really thought that that would win me over. It was sweet but, c'mon, you know?"

Every insecurity you have is nagging at you, and you can't stop the few tears that roll down your cheeks at her brutal honesty. She's really hurting your feelings, and you can't help but want to call her out for it. So, you do just that: you step into the open room, one that lacks an actual door, and say, "Next time you wanna talk shit about someone, maybe you should make sure they're not around to hear it." 

Her smile falters slightly, and she spins around to face you. A hint of guilt plays on her features, but you're sure it's only because she got caught -- she definitely meant everything she said. 

"Y/N--"

You don't stick around to listen to what she has to say. Her change of behavior surprised you, and you can't trust that she's even sorry for it. 

Your pace quickens as you hear her voice become clearer -- she's in the doorway now, calling after you, but you don't even turn around. The salt of your tears greets your tongue, and you're once again reminded to wipe your face as you rush down the hall, rounding a couple corners and darting past countless doors on your way. You just want to get out of this place and be alone. 

A new voice slows your strides as it greets your ears, feeling like a security blanket in its gentleness. It's Jennie. "Y/N? Why are you crying?" She came to look for you when you took too long to return from the bathroom. 

You're far too embarrassed to look at her, so you simply sniffle and raise a hand up in her direction. "Don't worry about me, Jen. It's not important." 

"Hey, yes it is. You're upset and that matters." She steps towards you, saying the words that you had no idea you needed to hear so badly. Your heart aches, still shocked by the fact that Rosé would say such things about you. You thought you were friends, if nothing else, and yet that's never felt further from the truth than it does right now. 

When you don't move away, Jennie takes that as a sign to bring you into her arms, cradling your head against her chest. The kind act hurts your heart more for some reason, and you want to pull away. Jennie senses this and decides to rub soothing circles on your back, her warm embrace comforting you as she says, "I don't know what happened, Y/N, but I'm right here. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, either, but please don't leave like this. I hate to see you upset." 

Something about the way she's holding you, so close and tenderly, is comforting beyond belief and you can't find the desire to leave anymore. 

"Can we at least go to your dressing room? I don't want everyone to see me like this."

"Of course, sweetheart. Come on." 

Sweet phrases of reassurance are whispered to you as she leads you away, keeping you safe from prying eyes the entire time. Jisoo appears in the doorway of the party room, raising a concerned brow when she sees the two of you approaching. Jennie shakes her head at the unnie before she can utter a word, giving her a silent answer as she uses her eyes to communicate what's happening. Jisoo eventually understands, and she offers a sympathetic nod when you pass by.  

-------

7 Months Later

"Hey Jennie, do you think you can go answer the door? I'd do it myself, but…" Jisoo trails off, glancing down at the bowl of partially mixed dough that sits in front of her on the counter. Her hands continue to knead the mixture as she looks up at the younger girl, subtly sighing in relief when she agrees. 

There's more than one reason behind having Jennie be the one to answer it. 

The brunette grabs a pen as she pads her way over to the door, ready to sign for a delivery package -- that's usually the only thing they get at the dorm, considering guests are discouraged for the most part. Screw YG and their rules. 

Being a bit clumsy, Jennie accidently knocks her phone out of her own hand as she opens the door, muttering out a quiet “shit” as she bends down to retrieve it. Her eyes trail over to the stylish boots that set just a few feet away, and her breath hitches. 

"Hi baby." You greet with that healing smile that she's missed so much, peering down at her with a look in your eye that makes her heart trip and stumble over itself. 

"Y/N!" She shrieks, jumping up from the ground and right into your arms. 

"Uumph--" you let out in surprise, making sure to catch her and prevent her from falling. Ever since you two began dating a few months ago, leaving has become harder and harder. Jennie is beyond thrilled to have you back again, and she tries not to think about the next business trip you'll have to take. It's a methodical rhythm -- a month or two abroad and the same amount back home, then you're left to repeat the cycle over and over. Both of you hate it, and you'd much rather spend all your time with her instead. After all, ever since the incident with Rosé all that time ago, Jennie has steadily worked her way into your heart and become someone you can't live without. You were close before, but you've reached a new level now -- and that's about the only thing you can thank Rosé for. By hurting you and showing you how little she cared, she effectively pushed you right into Jennie's waiting arms.

"I'm so happy you're home." She says with a sigh, truly grateful to have you in her arms again. You wrap your arms tighter around her waist and sway a little bit, both of you content with just holding each other for a while longer. The weather outside is dazzlingly perfect; signs of summer apparent in everything around you. Birds chirp their looping songs as they fly through the air, feeling the sun's gentle heat on their wings all the while. 

You move your head enough to be level with hers, bringing her in for a long-overdue kiss. She smiles into it, cupping your cheek with one of her hands as she languidly moves to deepen it. 

Rosé should've stayed in her room. She should've ignored her stomach's incessant grumbling for a snack; but she didn't. 

She gave in, and now she's stuck, rooted in place as she watches Jennie kiss you, the one that got away. It's like watching a train wreck: she can't look away, and part of her psyche knows she deserves this. The apple in her hands is the only thing working to distract her, and she grips it tightly within her clutch to comfort herself. You look good -- so good -- and Rosé doesn't know whether to be happy or not. She knows she didn't treat you right -- then or ever -- but for some selfish reason that she doesn't dare give voice to, she wants you to still be hurting. She wants you to be suffering like she is now, crying into your pillowcase at night when she crosses your mind. She wants you to miss the good times, though there may not have been enough of them, and she wants you to want her again. 

You've turned the tables on her, and she doesn't know how to cope. 

She realized what she had once it was gone -- once you were gone, too busy falling in love with Jennie to pay her any mind anymore. She misses how devoted you were to her and how much care you put into everything you did; she misses the consistency that you offered; she misses every sweet thing you ever did for her. Hell, she even misses hearing you ramble and seeing you blush when all she did was smile at you. 

But you're gone now, destined to be with her member when all she wants is another chance. She'll never get it, certainly not after everything she's put you through, and she resents herself for treating you so badly. All you ever did was care, and she was too self-centered to give a crap. 

She deserves this. She deserves to see you happy with Jennie, happy in a way she could never make you. For you, she deserves to hurt; to silently cry in her room when she hears the two of you on call, laughing about whatever new thing you experienced that day. Because it wasn't just the one instance of pain she inflicted on you; it wasn't just that one night at the performance hall -- it was a steady build up of rejection and half-assed excuses, and even she can't blame you for getting tired of it. She wishes she hadn't been so stupid to deny you. 

What's worse is that she's actually fallen for you now; she imagines what could've been, what would've been, had she given you an honest chance. She's never tried to deny how gorgeous you are -- that's a given -- but now you're bruisingly beautiful, shining with the happiness that Jennie's worked hard to instill in you again. Shining with the love you hold for that 5'4" angel. 

Maybe, if circumstances were different, you'd be in Rosé's arms right now. Perhaps in another life. 

---

"Do you want to come in? Jisoo's working on some dessert for the lunch we just made. We can heat you up a plate in the meantime…" Jennie trails off, hoping to persuade you. She knows it's risky, considering the tension that feels almost tangible anytime the three of you are together, but she doesn't want to let you go so soon. 

"I don't know…" The uncertainty in your voice is clear, and Jennie watches as a slight grimace crosses your features when you look past her and into the dorm. Luckily Rosé had already found the will power to move to the dining room, so you're spared from seeing her just yet. 

"If things get weird or uncomfy we'll leave, okay? I promise." She says, knowing she's convinced you once you give her a little nod. 

"Okay. But I'm only doing this because I missed Jisoo's cooking." A playful glint shimmers in your eye as you quirk your head to the side, teasing her. 

"Hey!" She groans, pushing your shoulder as the two of you walk down the little concrete path that leads to the front door. "I'm kidding! I missed Lisa's jokes, too." 

You laugh at the gasp she lets out, and you make sure to turn around and press a kiss to her temple to stop her from pouting. 

--

"So, Y/N, where did you go this time?" Jisoo asks, leaning against the marble island of the kitchen as she pops a piece of tanghulu in her mouth. The crack of the sugary coating pulls your attention away from Rosé, where it had momentarily been -- she looks awful. Bags rest underneath her eyes, her normally vibrant features crestfallen now as her gaze scans across the food on her plate. 

You look at Jisoo as you answer her. "The states. We worked with some local companies and small businesses to get more promotional material out in front of people. It's actually pretty amazing, guys -- you're blowing up over there. They love you." The girls smile at your words, feeling a sense of accomplishment swell within themselves. Back when they were trainees they never imagined that they'd end up this far, and yet here they are, seeing their dreams come true, day after day. 

You're just happy to be along for the ride. It's not easy by any means -- people often crack under the pressure and get discouraged by the hustle and bustle of everything that such a major operation entails -- but you've never been more thankful for a position in your life. 

"As they should," Lisa smirks, looking self-assured with the little cocky motion she does. You almost choke on the piece of food you just stuffed in your mouth, laughing at how ridiculous she looks. 

After successfully not dying, you look at her and shake your head. "Lisa, what is wrong with you?" She puts on her infamous meme face, pretending to be shocked by your question, and you cackle again. The sound makes Rosé jealous; she wishes she were the one making you laugh like that. 

Another hour or so passes with the 5 of you just relaxing and snacking together at the table, taking turns trading stories and jokes in the meantime. After finishing your dessert and complimenting the unnie's cooking skills, you make your way towards the kitchen with a groan of, "I'm so full" thrown over your shoulder. 

You begin washing the dishes, finding it only fitting seeing as they spent all that time preparing such a good meal. It's the least you can do. A smile tugs at your cheeks when you hear the door open, followed by light footfalls against the hardwood. Jennie. 

Warm arms snake around your waist as she hugs you from behind, resting her cheek against your back. Your brows furrow when you notice an unusual thing -- either Jennie grew a few inches in the last 5 minutes, or someone else is holding you. Their cheek reaches a place Jennie isn't tall enough to, and it all hits you.

It's Rosé. 

You go to shut the water off and step away, but the sounds of her quiet sniffles give you pause. "Please don't." She whispers into your shirt, bunching the material up within her fingers against your stomach. A pang of sadness pulls against your heart strings, the long forgotten feeling reignited by the waver in her voice. "Rosé," you start with a sigh, ready to launch into the practiced speech of how happy you are with Jennie now and how you've moved on. She tugs at your shirt, slowly turning you around, and you can't find it in yourself to break her heart even further in this moment. Her eyes are filled with what tears have yet to stream down her face, brimming with the salty liquid you hate to see. 

Even after everything, you can't stand to see her cry. 

So, perhaps stupidly, you allow her to lean forward and rest her head against your chest; you let her fall into your arms, sinking into the embrace she never intended to miss so much. 

It was innocent. Completely, utterly innocent, but Rosé couldn't stop herself -- not when you were there again, right in front of her, looking so good it hurt. She wrapped her arms around your neck, pushing her lips against yours in a kiss you weren't prepared for at all. Her mouth moved quickly against yours, knowing you'd be shoving her away at any moment. But she was okay with being selfish again -- she needed you then, and you allowed her to keep kissing you until you realized what was happening. 

As you go to stumble away and put distance between the two of you, the door once again opens; only this time, it's actually Jennie. Her eyes immediately dart between the two of you as she notices how Rosie's hands are still holding you close, both of your lips swollen from the kiss. All at once you realize how the situation must look, and you begin panicking. You knew this was a bad idea from the start. 

"Jennie, no. I promise this isn't what you think." You shake your head, finally freeing yourself of Rosé's grip as you take a couple steps towards your girlfriend. She takes an equal amount back, scoffing lightly at the memory of the scene she just witnessed. 

"Yeah, okay," she says, sounding anything but convinced as she makes her way towards the door. You go after her, but she holds a hand up -- after knowing her for so long, you've learned that that signal means to give her some time alone. Both of you know you'll go after her again later, but she needs some time right now. As she leaves the dorm, the heavy sound of the door shutting is the only noise that cuts through the palpable tension. 

"How could you do that?" You ask, voice small, not even turning around to look at Rosé. You doubt that she's even sorry. 

She isn't sorry. At least, not for kissing you. It felt good to have you like that, and she doesn't regret it. However, from what angle of your face your side profile offers to her, she can see how upset you are. That's what makes her feel the slightest bit guilty for her timing. 

"I spent so much time trying to get you to notice me, and now you choose to do that? You're unbelievable, Roseanne-- I'm finally happy, and what, you want to ruin that?” She takes the blows as they come, staying quiet. “If you've ever cared about me at all then you'll stay away." You set your jaw, willing the tears to go away. You've wasted too many on her, and you'll be damned to look weak right now. 

"Y/N, I-" 

"No. Don't apologize when we both know you don't mean it. You've always been selfish, Rosé." You bite back, not caring if the words cut her down like her old ones always used to do to you. Earlier, before her little stunt, you were starting to feel sorry for her; clearly though, that was yet another mistake on your part. 

You leave without another word, praying that she doesn't further complicate the situation by following after you. Jennie is the only thing on your mind as you hop in your car, having an idea of where she might be.

--

"Jennie, no. I promise this isn't what you think." 

Your worried voice replays in her mind for the millionth time, further tormenting her. She's been cheated on before, so that phrase isn't a new thing to her. 

She was always afraid this would happen. She used to lay awake at night, overthinking as usual, wondering when the beautiful thing the two of you created would ultimately come crashing down. It was too good to be true, and she curses herself for foolishly believing any different. 

The better part of an hour passes by as she sits on the park bench, reminiscing on all the memories you've made here. The idea of ending things with you and starting over with someone else sinks in, and she hates the feeling. She only wants you -- she's only ever wanted you -- and the thought that things could really be over now hurts her more than she cares to admit. 

Your eyes scan across the park, ghosting over the playground equipment until they zero in on her, sitting near the fountain that you shared your first kiss. Such a sap, you smile bittersweetly. 

You ruffle through the plastic bag that sits in the passenger's seat, moving the receipt out of the way so that you can pick up what you're really after. Returning your hands to the steering wheel, you grip it while giving yourself a little pep talk before exiting the car. You press a kiss to the present in your hand for good luck, hoping this encounter will go well. 

Water spouts from the top of the fountain, the sound growing louder the closer you get to Jennie. Her back is turned to you, and for that you're thankful -- you're not quite prepared to see how she'll be looking at you. Now just a few feet away, you say, "Marry me."

You’ll do whatever it takes to show her how crazy you are about her.

Her head whips around, completely taken aback by your proposal. She thinks that there's no way you're serious, but when she looks down to find her favorite flavor of ring pop in your hand, her eyes widen. You're sick of wasting time, and seeing that she hasn't yelled at you or turned you away yet, you take advantage of the situation. 

"Marry me, Jennie," you repeat, taking small, careful steps towards her until you're right next to the bench. "She kissed me, but I tried to push her away. I told her that you're the only one for me." 

She blinks, taking in your words as she notices you nervously toy with the plastic wrapper of the candy. She knows you're telling the truth; you're a terrible liar, and you wouldn't be here right now if you didn't want her back. If you wanted to choose Rosé over her, you had the perfect opportunity to do so back at the dorm.

But you don't; you want Jennie, and now you're standing in the middle of your favorite park, proposing with a piece of candy to prove that to her. The things you do for love. 

"It just scared me, Y/N. Seeing her wrapped around you like that--"

"I know, baby. I know. But I promise I didn't want it, and it meant nothing to me. I'm so in love with you, Jennie Kim." 

She smiles at the dopey grin on your face, seeing how smitten you are. 

"Okay," she answers back, yet again looking at your hands. 

"Is that a yes?" You ask, slowly beginning to tear open the wrapper. 

"Yes, dummy. I'll marry you." She declares, nodding her head with a laugh at how slow you are sometimes. 

"Yay!" You shout, stepping forward to pick her up in your arms. You set her back down with a smile, slipping the ring onto her finger as your heart soars. 

Jennie kisses you, letting the action convey all the emotions she's been through in the past few hours. "I love you." She sighs, resting her forehead against yours. 

"I'd surely hope so, jagi," you smirk against her lips, giggling at the squeal she lets out when you playfully pinch her side. Her kisses are replacing all traces of Rosé, and she's comforted by the fact that you'll so adamantly choose her, everyday. 

With a smile, Jennie realizes something: never again will she be forced to dream of having you in another life -- her wishes came true, and now she'll have you in this one, always.

[tomorrowxtogether]

YEONJUN: “I hope I can show off all my different artistic sides”

TOMORROW X TOGETHER The Chaos Chapter: FREEZE comeback interview

2021.06.07

YEONJUN mentioned MOA at the end of many of his answers. When he talked about the comeback, end-of-year performances, TV cameo, modeling, singing and dancing, too, he talked about the fans. When asked about communicating with his fans in The Essence of Dancing, his answer was simple: “Because that’s what MOA want to see.”

It’s been seven months since your previous comeback.

YEONJUN: I feel good and I get pretty excited whenever we make a comeback. It’s a shame we couldn’t see MOA, but I think about how they’re watching us from far away and I keep working hard.

You briefly met MOA in person during the FANLIVE event.

YEONJUN: MOA had to wear masks and couldn’t make any sound outside of clapping, which was too bad, but it was great just being able to see them. MOA even put on their own event in the middle. I cried, it was so touching. That was something they all worked on together just for us. They were so kind.

During the down time you made your acting debut in a cameo on the JTBC show Live On. How did it go?

YEONJUN: It was a great experience for me just because I got to try something new. It was like when I learned to dance for the first time—I was nervous because I didn’t know anything, but I loved the excitement of learning something new. And my lines felt like lines that MOA could get excited about, so I practiced to make sure they would.

You really made headlines when you were a model for ul:kin during New York Fashion Week.

YEONJUN: I wanted to do a good job so I lost weight fast. I ended up looking so sharp that I could take a photo from any angle and still look good, and MOA said I looked prettier, more handsome. Some people worried I got too skinny but I took good care of myself to make sure I would look good for MOA. When we were shooting, I changed into 10 different outfits while they kept taking pictures. I was taking pictures with real models who naturally were very professional so that motivated me to strike a greater variety of poses and facial expressions. Now when I do photoshoots the people there say I improved a lot, and I do feel it’s a little easier than before.

You did several cover performances at the end of the year. I get the feeling you’ve always been good at emphasizing details in cover versions. How did you feel about your cover of “Sherlock”?

YEONJUN: I look up a lot of videos so I can follow the original closely. I was always doing Taemin’s part. He’s always been talented and focused on details so I had to try hard to copy every part. I tried to follow the choreography, with all the gestures and details, as closely as possible, but I tried to add my own spin to the facial expressions to make them feel a little different.

You also danced to “Sriracha” during 2021 DREAM WEEK for the first time since you did it for your debut evaluation as trainees.

YEONJUN: I thought the choreography was really difficult back then, and it was difficult this time too. (laughs) Even though we only did one verse this time, it was still hard. It was a full three minutes long when we first did it and we stayed up all night practicing. I got a bit emotional remembering how determined I was back then.

What’s different between now and back then?

YEONJUN: I feel like I’m way better at dancing and I think we tightened up the gestures we used to express ourselves in the song. And when I come in to rap—when we were trainees, it was really cute, but now it’s more like—cool-ish? When I was a trainee, even the gestures were decided in advance, but now if I feel like changing something on the day of, I can change it. They’re small things, but when they come together it makes a big difference.

The members were trainees back then but they’re adults now. When TAEHYUN commented on your message congratulating him on becoming a legal adult, he said, “The things YEONJUN writes now are touching in a different way. I know because I grew up with him.”

YEONJUN: I’ve known TAEHYUN and Huening since middle school; BEOMGYU couldn’t really see his parents while training because he came up from Daegu; SOOBIN started training when he was in high school too; and I did as well, but we all pushed through training at a young age. I’m proud and I admire how much trouble they went through while so young but I also feel bad about how hard it must’ve been.

How do you feel when you think back on yourself during your trainee days? I heard people mistook you for being intense.

YEONJUN: I guess it was hard for other trainees to talk to me because I was always frowning from how tired I was back then. But they said that once they got to know me they thought I was silly and soft. (laughs) And I was short in middle school, I still had my baby fat, and my voice changed late, so I always heard people saying I was cute like a baby, and that made me want to look a little strong and cool, but now that I’m grown up, when I hear people say that, I don’t feel bad. (laughs) So I just said, “Everybody has their own thing,” and moved on.

Your black hair was revealed in the concept trailer. And the video was very cool. (laughs)

YEONJUN: So there’s a part in the choreography where the members slow down and I lean back. I actually couldn’t do it at first. But since I was given that responsibility, I figured I better do it right. So when I had time in the evenings I put down a mat and practiced bending my back and eventually I got it. I guess I realized once again that I just have to try. (laughs)

How did the shoot for the concept photos go? You had to pull off a few different concepts.

YEONJUN: I had said in another interview that I wanted to try wearing a skirt, then I wore something like a dress when we shot WORLD and it was pretty awesome. I thought it was great I could try that so it ended up being my favorite of all the concepts. We shot YOU in Pangyo, which is an area of Bundang in Seongnam City. And I’m from Bundang. The friends I still keep in touch with are from Bundang, too. It was great filming on streets I was so familiar with.

There’s one scene in the music video where you steal the keys to a car and drive away. Were you actually driving?

YEONJUN: I got my license specifically for that scene.

Did you get it after one try?

YEONJUN: First time’s the charm. (laughs) I got it but I’m not great, so the other members were anxious and so was I. (laughs) I drove very carefully.

The way you first kneel in “0X1=LOVESONG (I Know I Love You)” featuring Seori and when you sing “say you love me” in your unique voice feels so sad.

YEONJUN: I was trying to capture the feeling of when you lose your whole world, and you’re sad, and miserable, and have lost everything and want to be saved. I like to keep my dancing simple but I mostly let that go this time and shook my head like I was in a trance, and I used all the strength in my whole body to dance in the part where I had to dance intensely. Then the camera couldn’t even capture it fully, but I think it captured the song’s sad feeling better that way. When I first learned how to sing, I honestly hated my voice so much that I thought maybe I just shouldn’t sing at all. But the label emphasized the unique qualities of my voice and made it special so I practiced a lot to show off my uniqueness. Now I know how to put my own spin on whatever I’m singing so MOA often say my voice stands out, too.

I think your color shines through well when you rap, too. You performed the rap part for “No Rules.”

YEONJUN: Since it’s rap, I try to pronounce the words so they’re catchy rather than carefully pronounce everything. A lot of times I slur my speech and sometimes I rap so it doesn’t even sound like it’s Korean. I wrote all the lyrics to the rap in “No Rules” myself so it matches the way I rap well and my rapping stuck better on the beat.

In addition to “No Rules,” your name is on the credits for “What if I had been that PUMA” and “Frost.”

YEONJUN: I wrote the rap in “No Rules” and oversaw editing for “Frost” and “What if I had been that PUMA.” Hitman Bang, the producer, sent me the lyrics to “That PUMA” that had been completed so far and said, “YEONJUN, I think you can save this. See if you can edit the whole thing.” The lyrics you hear now came from lots of back-and-forth and changes. He took a look and said I did a really good job, so he left “Frost” up to me, too.

Which parts did you change?

YEONJUN: There’s a lot. (laughs) In “That PUMA,” for example, “My EXP’s still at zero (zero),” was originally all in Korean, but I changed it to “my EXP” in English because it sounded cooler, and “experience” is usually shorted to “EXP” in games anyway. And, “careful, it spreads out quickly,” used to be totally different but I borrowed some lyrics from our older “PUMA” song instead.

Which of the parts that you edited are you most satisfied with?

YEONJUN: In “Frost,” “Cross the frozen lake and follow the path / The stop sign way at the other end,” was originally, “Follow the path around the frozen lake / Look for the sign of destiny.” Crossing the frozen lake was more like a fairy tale that painted an adventurous picture than following the path around the frozen lake, so I changed that. Also, the Korean words for follow and wind rhyme with sign and flower. So, that part. (laughs)

You said you like the WORLD version of the concept photos, where you wore the dress, the most. You sure like bold fashion.

YEONJUN: I like to wear things that look like photoshoot costumes as everyday clothes. I bought some clothes that look like they have tattoos on them not too long ago. First of all, it’s fun to challenge yourself with something that’s not too obvious or typical, and to develop my own style from there. I’m trying out a lot of different things. It’d be great if people end up feeling I look good no matter what I choose to wear.

Speaking of self-development, I remember how in your last interview with Weverse Magazine you said you thought you should love yourself more so you decided to try to stop being so timid.

YEONJUN: Well, I am who I am. I have to love myself before I can love anyone else; I don’t think I can do anything at all if I’m unconfident. When I started out with this job I lacked confidence and self-love so I kept cutting myself down. That meant I always felt intimidated, but ever since I learned to love myself I’ve been more confident and relaxed and now I’m one step closer to accomplishing my goals.

I think one of the best videos that shows how relaxed and confident you are is The Essence of Dancing on V LIVE, where you take fan suggestions and do impromptu dances.

YEONJUN: Because that’s what MOA want to see. I thought it would be fun to dance to what they want instead of just what I like, and sometimes I see something and think it’d be fun to dance to, so I do.

When you were talking to MOA on V LIVE, one fan spoke to you informally and you jokingly responded, “How dare you speak to your oppa that way!” And it was amazing how quickly you followed up with, “How dare you speak to your hyeong that way!”

YEONJUN: Well, most of our fans are female, so I said oppa at first, but we have a ton of male fans too, so I said hyeong right after. We have a lot of male fans, too, but it feels like we’re excluding them. Even though they’re all the same.

In your interview with GQ you talked about how you want to fix your habit of daydreaming and how you really dive into details when you’re thinking.

YEONJUN: There’s a lot of times when I get lost in my thoughts or worries and can’t sleep, and a lot of times I get deep into my thoughts and feel bad, whether they’re good thoughts or bad thoughts. You could see it as being thorough but when it eats away at you like that it stops being good eventually. Even for this comeback show I kept filming the fancam till I was satisfied. It stresses me out, forcing myself to do better, but it definitely helps me grow. I’ve never been satisfied with myself and I still don’t think I’m good enough but I think it’s a good idea to have that kind of mindset. Because all of this comes together and brings me closer to the perfect performance.

You said on V LIVE that your ears didn’t become infected after piercing them because you never even had a chance to lie down and sleep properly. Were you up practicing so much because you felt you weren’t good enough?

YEONJUN: If you always get first place, you have nowhere to go but down if you don’t keep it up. So I felt a lot of pressure to hold onto that position. Like, even if I was first overall, I’d really lose my self-esteem when I got second in singing or dancing. I think that’s why I kept pushing myself harder.

I guess titles like BLT (Big Hit’s Legendary Trainee) or Best Trainee could be both a source of pride and a burden.

YEONJUN: Earning those titles helped me think the time I spent practicing was worthwhile. I’m proud I was recognized to some extent, but also, I think I can work even harder. After all, there must be a reason why I got those titles. First off, I think I have to keep working hard on dancing, singing and rapping, and expand on what I can do but keep being a singer. I want to try making my own brand later on and have one of the songs I make be a lead single.

It sounds like you’re doing it bit by bit.

YEONJUN: There’s so much I want to do, but I think I’m taking it all on faster than expected. I hope I can show off all my different artistic sides.

[sxnnimoon]

Bambi Ch. 7

:)

taglist: @multistan30 @hobi-love @pshekalus

@purpleyoongles @gabhrrng @v-6893

@kayjah17 @cutiequeen122 @briii-14

@iiamjungkookwife @maddypool31 @spideyxxboi

You were currently at your studio, well old studio. It surprisingly still looked the same. Nothing was touched, although the equipment looked new. You shrugged it off, you were bored and Yuni was with your mom since her fathers had some last minute preparations for their comeback that was happening and you didn’t feel like partying. Walking around the space you looked at all the memories that were left behind. You tried your best to not let the past bother you as much but with the way things were going, the past would be resurfacing more than you liked. Pulling out your laptop you hooked it up and decided to do a live on instagram. As fans started piling in you were just messing around dancing to the music you had playing. Looking at the comments you decided to answer a few.

“Is that LXNA LXB?” you read allowed, smiling soon after. “Yes it is.”

“New music?” was the next question. “I do have a lot for the future.”

You smirked as the comments went wild.

“Request some songs.” you say looking into the camera. “I’ll sing a few.”

You could barely read them as song after song filled the chat. As it slowed a bit you read a couple.

“I can barely read these comments.” you giggle. “I’m just going to give y'all a sneak peek for a song I'm working on.”

You’d regret this as the song held a lot of meaning but you were always open and honest with your fans, you had nothing to hide.

Pulling up the instrumental you got into the zone.

You know you really something,

yeah

How’d we get here so damn fast?

Only you can tell me that

Baby, ‘cause you know i’m coming

back

You stopped for a bit to read a few comments off your phone.

“Be patient my doves,” you smiled before singing again.

I came to peace with my path

Now you got me off track

I’ve never been this scared before

Feelings that I can’t ignore

Don’t know if I should fight or fly

But I don’t mind

Mmmm

Tripping, falling with no safety net

Boy, it must be something that

you said

Is it real this time or is it in my head?

You paused the music.

“That's all you get babes.” you smirked, trying to hide your emotions.

release it now!!

i need more

whyyyyy

she doing this on purpose.

You shook your head laughing, “I promise once I'm done with work here I will release a few things.”

You sang a few songs that they requested and some you wanted to do. You noticed how the comments were going wild again.

“What the hell is going on.” you looked confused. “All i’m seeing is a ton of ‘HALSEY!!’ comments. Is she watching?”

You waved and blew a kiss, “hiii baby, i miss you. Call me after this, will you?”

“Y’all know what song I gotta do then.” you smirked.

Bad vibes, get off of me

Outta here with that fuckery

Treat my goals like property

Collect them like Monopoly

I probably won’t come if there’s

not a fee

And if they try come stoppin’ me

I show them my discography

I like women and men

Work so fuckin’ much, need a

twinny, twin, twin

You were now talking with the fans, answering some more personal questions when a knock was heard on your door. You looked back at the door and then the stream.

“One sec.” you put up a finger.

Opening the door you see Chan & Yuni.

“What happened to my mom having her?” you stare at him confused.

“She got a call from her old friends and asked if i could bring Bean over.” he smiled. “I hope that's ok.”

“No it’s fine, I'm actually live right now, umm did you wanna just join haha.” you smiled back.

“Of course,” he said, setting Bean down.

“We have a few guests before I hop off.” you say bending down to lift Bean, “Say Hi Bean.”

She reaches her hand out grabbing at the air as if to say hi.

“We do have one more,” you smile, kissing Yuni’s head, “you want an intro or what?”

He nods.

You roll your eyes giggling. “Nowww, don’t let his smallness fool you, he’s the biggest baby of all. My best friend and y’alls favorite Chrisopher.”

He comes into view laughing.

“Hi everyone!” he waves.

You three end the live and head out to get some food. You settled for your favorite cafe that served the best ramen and dessert. Ordering your usual and getting a small bowl to give Bean some noodles. It was quiet and it was definitely what you needed. Having slept with yoongs and hobi you really needed someone to talk everything out with.

“So are you going to tell me what the hell you have been doing? Or am I going to have to pry it out of you?” He raised a brow.

You put your head on the table.

“What am I doing Chris?” you say. “I can’t help but be drawn back to them, for god sake I have a child with them.”

You were defeated.

“I’ve been doing so much to distract myself, but sleeping with them really did it for me.” you looked at him.

“I love you and you know where I stand in all this.” he reached for your hand. “But you really gotta talk to them.”

“It would be easy if they weren’t getting their dicks wet as we speak..” you show him your phone.

“This is the game they wanna play Chan and I will not hesitate to play right back.” you say powerfully. “Could you watch Yun a bit more til my mom is back?”

He nods. You thank him, kiss Bean on the forehead and get up to leave.

You drive back to your hotel. Once inside you make a phone call.

“Hello?”

“You free?”

“For you? Always.”

“Perfect, see in like 15?”

“Can’t wait.”

You gathered a few things in a duffel bag before heading out. Looking at yourself over one more time you close the door and leave.

As you pull up to the house, every ounce of anger you had before had left your body. You didn’t need them right? Whatever the case may be, you were ready to get your mind over it. As they opened the door you smirked, taking in their appearance.

“Shall we?” they said.

“Lead the way.” you smiled.

“You look good.” they smirked. “Really good.”

“You look hotter since the last time I saw you.” you licked your lip.

“You staying the night?” he looks down at you.

“Of course.” you bit your lip.

A couple hours and a lot of photos later, you were currently making out on the couch. Hands were everywhere, lips kissing every inch. His hands never leave your ass. You soon are straddling his lap. You are too entranced with one another to notice the constant spamming going on your phones. As he flips you both over, now lying between your legs he peers down at you. His eyes are dark with lust, the bulge pressed against your thigh proving it.

“You sure this is what you want?” he says softly.

“More than you know.” you look up with pleading eyes.

He nods, dipping his head down to capture your lips one more time.

As the night begins your notifications are going crazy. The reason for it being sweeped away as you were far too occupied to pay them any mind. Beating them at their own game was by far the best thing you could have done. You wished to see the look on their faces as they opened up their social media to see you trending on every single platform. They knew you won, but how long would it stay like that? Only time will tell.

[publicurination]

I am listening to nugu/nuguish groups entire discographies and I want to make a post detailing my opinions on each (I already liked a lot of these groups songs so I’m just re-listening to their discographies for some of these)

I may make another one of these

ELRIS

I really enjoyed everything Elris has released especially their debut EP. You and I really stands out to me on that EP. Also their “Elris? Here I am!” Thing is so cute I could put a hole through my wall. I really like how they have different music but it all sounds very ‘Elris’ if that makes sense? I will definitely be following along with them granted they are let out of the basement. Would enjoy another cute concept from them

Favorite Songs:

You and I

POW POW (this is my favorite MV as well)

Like I Do

Least Favorite

Intro (on the ‘Jackpot’ EP)

Member that catches my eye

Bella (jackpot hair just too iconic)

NATURE

I actually don’t know much about Nature girlies but they all have gorgeous voices. Like literally perfect for ballads (which must be why they have quite a few lol) there’s one blemish on their discography imo like I genuinely couldn’t finish listening to the song because it was so awful. One song is no big deal tho because they certainly made up for it with the rest of their music. I kinda wish they were more solid with visual concepts for their albums. Their single album ‘Nature World : Code M’ feels very Nature to me in visuals and music and I love that sort of concept. Idk maybe I’m just not good at spotting and naming concepts lol.

Favorite songs

Allegro Cantabile

A Little Star

Drinkin’

Least Favorite

MORMOR

Member that catches my eye

Saebom

GWSN

I LOVE THEM!!! I���ve been following them since Pinky Star. I love magical concepts like these. Cute(ish) magical concepts are always a plus as well as I am a huge fan of cute concepts. Also their music videos are so good as well. I’m really glad they recently had this comeback because I was really worried disbandment was knocking on their door. Also I think they have some of the best B-sides out there, especially their ‘Park in the Night’ series I own all three albums in the series I love it so much.

Favorite songs

Recipe ~ for Simon

Puzzle Moon

YOLOWA

Literally the entire ‘The Other Side of the Moon’ EP

Least favorite

Red Sun (sorry 😔)

Member that catches my eye

Seokyoung

Yukika

Yes I know she isn’t a group but I love her so much. She needs to blow up in Korea soon for real like she’s never missed with any of her music. Especially Soul Lady like seriously it’s the perfect album to me I feel like nothing bad could happen to me while I listen to this album. Her voice is just so fucking perfect for City Pop and not only that she is so gorgeous. Especially her fit in Neon mv so gorgeous I love her so much.

Favorite songs:

Neon

What’re You Doing Tonight?

Yesterday

A Day for Love

No least favorite she’s perfect <3

Yukika 🥺❤️❤️

Honey Popcorn

Yess I love them I like their cute concept and their message wish we got more music from them tho because they’re basically disbanded as they’ve been inactive for a bit. Love the music they put out tho not much to say because I feel like they couldn’t do typical idol stuff because of the controversy but would be absolutely delighted if they released more music (especially with the cute concept)

Favorite Songs

Violet

Bibidi Babidi Boo

Pretty Lie

Least Favorite

De-Aeseohsta

Member that catches my eye

Yua

( no good honey popcorn gif so enjoy yves break 😌)

SATURDAY

Saturslay cutie girls I love their concept but I hope they can have a chance to really show off more of their strengths more. I do love them a lot I was a huge fan of MMook JJi Bba when it came out and I think I will keep supporting them! Love them doing OSTs booked and busy queens

Favorite songs

MMook JJi Bba

Only You

BByong

Least favorite

In Your Eyes

Member that catches my eye

Sion (former member)

From_is9

Another group I am a big fan of. They don’t really seem that nugu to me but they kind are 😭 I don’t really see people talking about them that much. Nugu but not to the extent of like Nature. They have so many good songs like I haven’t heard a song from them I didn’t like especially their newest comeback I really thought it would shoot them more into mainstream 😰 anyway love them and I want them to succeed so bad

Favorite Songs

We Go

Dkdk

Coloring

Least favorite song

Dancing Queen

Member that stands out to me

Hayoung

Cherry Bullet

Another group I’ve been following for a while!! I honestly didn’t realize they were nugu for a while 😭😭 they’re so good and have a such a cool concept I think they could be HUGE inside and outside of South Korea. They have really good B-sides too I love them I can’t wait for them to take off (if they release another song as good as ‘Love so Sweet’) I’m sure they will

Favorite songs

Ping Pong

Love so Sweet

Hands Up

Least favorite song

Keep Your Head Up

Member that stands out to me

May

Woo!Ah!

I have mostly mixed feelings about these girlies, feel like the nugu version of ITZY, where as in every song sounds like a car accident but I love it. I don’t particularly care for their newest release but I’ll still stream 🙇‍♀️. Also I’m a little surprised they didn’t get more attention after one of their songs got popular on tiktok but what can you do! Hopefully they can get a bit more attention and release another bada bada bing bada boom type song lol

Favorite songs

Round & Round

Woo!ah!

Bad Girl

Least favorite song

Purple

Member that stands out to me

Sora

Purple Kiss

Omg I was so absolutely obsessed with their pre-debut songs I love their aesthetic. Plus all such good vocalists like girlies go crazy!! And the fucking teaser for ‘Crown’??? So good I was hyped forever!! I’m really excited to see more of these girls I think they could be huge

Favorite songs

Can We Talk Again

My Heart Skip a Beat

Hello

Least favorite song

Ponzona (sorry 😔)

Member that stands out to me

Dosie (and also Swan)

[bts-weverse-trans]

201123 Weverse Magazine 'BE' Comeback Interview - Jimin

Jimin: “I’m the kind of person who likes to be loved” BTS BE comeback interview 2020.11.23

When he’s talking, Jimin often starts his sentence with phrases like, “I just,” “it just,” “they just …” But then he immediately goes on to open up about his feelings, always providing a sincere response.

On one V-LIVE session back in October, you wore the clothes that you had planned to wear at the airport if you were to go on tour. Jimin: I hadn’t really noticed, but I think I’ve finally come to terms with the reality of our present situation.

By “situation,” you mean how it’s difficult to meet your fans in person? Jimin: Yes. If we had to go on stage in this situation, or if we had to perform our songs, I’m not sure how we would go about accomplishing that. At the same time, It felt like something that was closed up and blocked was opened up again. There isn’t the kind of excitement we got from tour season, though, so it’s easy to feel worn out. But, just like when we’re making new songs, I try to do whatever I can.

BE feels like it’s all about taking care of your feelings and the process of moving forward. Jimin: I had the role of listening to what the members wanted to include in the album, but it’s more a record of the present than it is about our individual feelings. We talked openly about how we’re having a hard time and how we’re trying our best to get over things, and that became the album.

As the project manager for BE, how did you go about gathering and organizing all the members’ ideas? Jimin: I became the project manager because Yoongi recommended I do it, but I didn’t think I had to lead anything along, more just make sure the other members could do their work quickly and easily. Usually that meant asking about their opinions, or passing opinions back and forth with our company. So I would collect ideas, organize them, say, “These are some of the ideas we got back. What do you think?”—ask them again, if they said okay, pass it on to the company, and if they made a song, I sent that over, too.

How did you prod along the members who were taking too long with their ideas? (laughs) Jimin: I would mention them by name in our group chat, and that got them to reply. (laughs) Any time I said someone or other didn’t submit their idea yet, all the others would chime in with, “Hurry up, guys!” and then they’d give it to me.

Sounds like it’s great for one of the members to be project manager. (laughs) How did you accommodate all the different ideas? Jimin: When we first started, we sat down for about an hour and said: If you feel downtrodden, just make a song about feeling desperate; if you want to give others hope, go ahead and write a hopeful song. Let’s find the topic and work from there. And since there’s seven of us, and the album’s going to be about current events, let’s put in one skit to make seven songs; and let’s not put in any solo songs. Let’s make something that we can all work on together.

That approach must have been different from the way you worked on your other recent albums. Jimin: We never said anything like, somebody will make this song and someone else will make that song. We would just take a song and say, Who wants to do this? Who wants to do that? I became more ambitious, and wanted the other members to recognize the work I was doing. And because it was so fun working together, any time I made something, I wanted to play it for them right away. I also loved when they gave me compliments, so that added to the fun. When the songs are eventually finished, we hoped the fans would be able to pick up on all those emotions exactly as we felt them, although there are some songs that didn’t make the cut. (laughs) It was really fun.

You could say that, while it’s important to deliver songs to the fans, the process of creation itself is also important. Jimin: A little while ago, I learned something new about myself: I’m the kind of person who likes to be loved. Looking back, I realized I do what I do not just for the work itself, but to be loved by my friends, family, the group, and fans. It’s been really hard to hold onto those connections, but I felt a fullness once I was sure of that love and kept those relationships close. It was like getting something of my own.

Rather than simply being loved, is it actually a satisfaction arising from the effort involved and the deep sense of trust it builds? Jimin: I used to think more frequently about what I was getting from them than what I was doing for everyone else. Even if I don’t strictly owe our fans or group members anything in return, I feel a deep and sincere appreciation for all the things they do for me. I also saw some people for who they really are, some people who don’t really care about me. Rather than pushing those people away, I learned how to react less emotionally to them. Likewise, I was able to be more emotionally honest with people who are very considerate toward me.

It’s become difficult to express those kinds of feelings to fans these days. The only choice, really, is to talk to them through your songs. What is your message this time? Jimin: There’s a message in every album and music video we make; but you don’t have to understand the message, I just hope you enjoy listening and watching. That’s the first thing. I hope you really like the songs and videos I created while working to not become complacent, so I took great care and practiced a lot to present something perfect to you.

On that note, I think your singing and dancing are changing quite a bit. Your performances in “Black Swan” and “Dynamite” are completely different, but perhaps because of your changed body silhouette, the feel of your dance has become more consistent. As a dancer, what is it you want to express? Jimin: I just hope my emotions come across. I just want the emotions I put into my dancing, actions, and singing to be felt. So I got a lot of feedback, asked around, did some research and found that for each emotion you might express on stage, there’s a body most appropriate for the job. We all have different body types. In order to get the body that can best express my emotions at my age, I went on a strict diet, but I don’t stick to it nearly as intensely as I used to. (laughs)

If you watch your dance in “Dynamite,” your body, especially when you turn away, looks different from before. You look lighter. What effect did your new body have on your dance moves? Jimin: I look how I want to look when I’m around 58 kg, so I went on a diet and lost 5 kg. That’s when I found the look I wanted to present to everyone. I can’t be objective about myself, but there was a certain vibe that I wanted. In the past I tried really hard to be no-frills, and by focusing less on trying something new and more on avoiding mistakes, I prevented myself from advancing any further. But in “Dynamite,” I tried out expressions I’d never tried before. I wanted people to be able to tell that I was really concentrating on this when they watched the video, so for this song, I tried to be sentimental and—how should I put this—I even tried to look suave (laughs) and funny, too . I ended up focusing on painting a single picture rather than on each of the individual elements.

And what is it you wanted to show off? Jimin: We haven’t been able to put on a real show during COVID-19. I wanted to show that we didn’t waste all that time but rather have kept going through it all, that we keep working hard. But portraying “working hard” through dance would look really tiring, so I smiled and danced throughout filming “Dynamite.”

How was that possible? It couldn’t have been easy to keep the whole team motivated. Jimin: With the spread of COVID-19, it took us a while to really believe our rise to the top of the Billboard Hot 100. When we checked our phones and it said we got first place we were amazed, but it was hard to believe, although we were all crying. (laughs) But when COVID-19 first hit, we said, “Ah, it’ll pass quickly and we’ll be right back on tour.” The reason was that we had said, even if it gets tough, let’s give it our all for the next year. Give it our all and collapse.. That was the plan, but we were really disappointed. What was worse was, when I heard it would be hard to have any performances this year, my head … it sort of went blank. My mind was empty. We couldn’t just take a break either. Other people had it really hard but we could keep working. I didn’t know whether we should be happy or sad about it. There were no answers for anything. It was really tough.

How did you get over that? Jimin: If an interviewer or anyone else asked me what my goal was, I told them my goal is to perform with the members for a long time, and that is probably my biggest goal; but I was really saying that to the group: I want to be with you guys for a really long time. I think we conveyed that feeling well to one another. I seriously worried a lot that the group would get exhausted. But they’d be laughing with one another, cheering each other up. We had a lot more time to chat together, so whatever was going on, we could always talk about it over a drink at our home and work it out.

What makes you take your work so seriously? Jimin: I really want to love this job inside and out. If we just look at work as work, all we’ll be after is money, but I never once thought that our group’s dynamic, or the relationship we have with our fans, was based on that. But I think if you’re exhausted mentally and physically, the work becomes a chore, and then your relationships will inevitably suffer. That’s what I was afraid of.

The song “Dis-ease” is about how each member feels about working. How do you feel about your work? Jimin: I don’t consider my main profession, performing and singing, “going to work.”. But when I’m doing something else with the camera right in front of me,that feels like “work.” Singing and performing for our fans isn’t work—it’s something I really, really want to do.

You helped write “Dis-ease,” correct? Jimin: The bridge. I was recording with Pdogg and there was one part that didn’t have a melody, so—should I call it improv?—I was just singing something without thinking about it, and then he asked me to sing that again. So I asked if he was sure, and then he asked me to write the melody, so I ended up writing it.

Some of the other songs on BE have something like that too, but “Dis-ease” somehow feels particularly like old school Korean hip hop. Jimin: I thought so too. I thought of 20 years ago when I sang it. The majority of the song was written by j-hope, so that might just be my thinking (laughs) but I sang it when there was a question mark on who would sing the vocals. I was really doing whatever I wanted, so I sort of had to be restrained (laughs) but it was fun.

Was there any place the vocals changed while recording? There are a lot of parts on BE where you use almost a normal speaking voice. Jimin: I usually already have the big picture set in my mind when I sing, but this time it wasn’t like that. “Life Goes On,” especially—that song’s not about me, but I couldn’t help but empathize with it, so right from the beginning I performed it without having to think about how my voice should sound. I wasn’t thinking about some particular emotion of mine I wanted to express to you. I just recorded exactly the feelings I had as I sang.

There’s a song titled, “Telepathy.” When you streamed yourselves in production on YouTube, the group mentioned the idea of telepathy which made me think you were sending the song directly to your fans. If you could talk to them through telepathy, what would you say? Jimin: People have kind hearts, and I just hope they don’t let that go. You asked about telepathy, but I think we really do have a telepathic connection with our fans. It’s not crystal clear or anything, but I think if we’re sincere then they can feel it somehow. I think that’s why our fans support us and are always by our side.

And what about the other way around? What would you like to hear from your fans? Jimin: One thing I’m always curious about, about our fans, is what’s the hardest thing in their lives. What each of them is struggling with, what’s making them happy—I’m really curious to know. We face our own difficulties as well, so I always wonder if there’s someone in each of our fans’ lives to ask them if they’re doing okay. I hope things get better soon, that people can keep holding on, and that the adults will follow all the rules. Kids don’t have a lot of options right now to do the things they want to do. I imagine a lot of kids see this as something that’s being forced upon them by adults, so I hope the grown-ups will properly explain the situation to the kids so they can help each other too, to end the pandemic.

The news is saying that they’ve made a COVID-19 vaccine, so you might be able to meet your fans sooner than later. What are you going to say to them when you finally see them again? Jimin: I don’t think we’ll say anything. I think we’ll just look at each other for a very long time. And if I’m able to say anything, I’ll probably say, “You made it. Now let’s get back to having a good time.”

Trans © Weverse

[okskz]

Maknaes.

elsy + yugbam

elsy decides to take out her two favorite maknaes to celebrate their solo debuts.

hope you guys enjoy! please feel free to leave some feedback because it is always appreciated!

[8th Member of Got7/Soloist]

“thanks for joining me, I’m sure the two are going to be happy to see you.” elsy smiled at chan. the two were sat first row of a balcony waiting for Bambam and yugyeom to perform. it had been awhile since the girl last saw them and thought going to their music show was the perfect opportunity since both boys would be there.

she was definitely proud that they finally had their solo debut and showed up for support just like the two did when elsy debuted for solo. it was great seeing her members doing their own thing.

“it’s not a problem, I’ve been wanting to see them for the longest now too.” chan giggled. “you know, since the three of you left me all alone in the company.”

elsy’s mouth fell open as she let out a laugh. “you’re not alone! you have your members and sana and chaeyoung and momo and, god who else are you friends with?”

“if I could be friends with everyone, I would.”

“well aren’t you such a social butterfly.” elsy jokingly rolled her eyes.

chan tsked at the girl. “hey don’t roll your eyes at me just because you had no friends back then besides me.”

elsy gasped out loud as chan burst into laughter. “I’m joking, I’m joking!” he giggled. “I’ll make you feel better by saying you were definitely my favorite.”

“okay, maybe that does make feel a little better.” elsy crossed her arms as she plopped back against her seat. then the lights had became a little dim, meaning someone was going to perform soon.

“it’s starting.” elsy grabbed on chan’s arm. “who do you think is first?”

before chan could answer the question, the lights had shown at the person on stage which ended up being yugyeom. elsy began smiling harder when seeing her younger member ready to perform. “aw! it’s my yugyeomie!”

elsy was too tranced into yugyeom’s performance as she smiled widely at him. she never once took her eyes away from yugyeom until gray had popped up to do his verse and yugyeom had left for a quick second. before she could think about it, the words were already leaving her mouth. “my god, gray is so good looking.”

chan snapped his head towards elsy, brows furrowing. “excuse me? I’m right here.”

elsy slowly turned her attention to chan, realizing what she had truly said. “oh, yeah. my bad.” she chuckled. “but he is very good looking!”

“okay, I’m shutting you out now.”

elsy ignored chan, bringing her attention back to the performance just when yugyeom had hopped back in. and soon it was over and elsy began to clap loudly. “ah, that was amazing! I’m so proud of him.” elsy smiled.

next to perform was bambam, which elsy was really hyped about seeing. especially when she was the first person to watch and listen to bambam’s debut song. it was a very special moment and she was just as proud of bambam like she was with yugyeom.

during his performance, chan had came close to elsy’s ear. “isn’t it a little funny how both of them have different vibes to their songs and performance?” he slightly wheezed.

elsy nodded, never taking her eyes off bambam. “I thought the same when I saw yugyeom’s video.” she said. “really shows their true color. to be honest, in all of us.” thinking about it, almost everyone in her group had something different when it came to their individual. where it was the sound or something else, elsy had noticed it a lot when going their separate ways for the time being.

it was like they had found their true self but when being together, it just seemed to work. and elsy couldn’t help but to want to feel working with her members again. but she knew they were doing absolutely great on their own.

by the time the performance was over and bambam was leaving the stage, chan stood up and looked back at elsy, lending out his hand for her. “I’m guessing you’d like to see them now.”

“of course!” elsy stood up excitedly and as she was walking the mc’s had mention about 2pm coming soon with their comeback. which of course, grabbed elsy’s attention, causing her to come to a halt. “2pm?!” she gasped. “nichkhun?! I have to come back and see them!”

“elsy, come on!” chan dragged the girl away before she could start fangirling. the boy shook his head, knowing how much of a fan elsy was of 2pm since she was a trainee. and he definitely knew about her little crush on nichkhun. “but nichkhun.” she pouted, looking back to see his picture show up.

“it’s like you’re forgetting I’m your boyfriend or something?” chan laughed, looking back at elsy. he still had a tight hold on her wrist.

“of course not.” she reassured. “no one could ever replace you. not even nichkhun.” elsy mumbled the last part but chan had heard her loud and clear.

the two had entered the hallway of where both yugyeom and bambam’s dressing room was located. and they could they had caught them right on time. “yugyeomie! bam!” elsy called out, grabbing their attention.

elsy had opened her arms out for a hug when seeing them jog towards her. but the two boys ended up passing her, going straight to chan. “my boy, chris!” bambam shouted. “bang chan! thanks for coming!” yugyeom shouted after. the three of them were in a group hug all while elsy stared at them in disappointment. she let out a fake cough to grab their attention.

“oh, hey noona, didn’t see you there.” yugyeom joked, going in to finally hug elsy.

“funny.” she scoffed. “but if it wasn’t for me, bang chan wouldn’t have been here.” elsy narrowed her eyes. but then they softened when she went in to hug bambam and yugyeom at the same time. “I’m so proud of you two. you guys did so good.” she kissed them on the side of their heads.

“woah watch it there, noona.” yugyeom smirked. “don’t want to make chan jealous of us two.”

elsy stared at yugyeom before smacking him behind his head. “you fool.” she said before going back to chan’s side and linking her arm with his. “I want him only.”

“well I had you first.”

everyone choked up a laugh, elsy shaking her head at her younger member. but then bambam had spoke up. “actually if you think about it, jin-“

“yeah, yeah, anyways!” elsy exclaimed before bambam could finish his sentence. “now that we’re here, I’m taking you guys out. as a celebration of your debuts.” she smiled at the two.

“free food from elsa?” bambam question with a smirk, making elsy drop her smile from the nickname. “I’m in.”

***

“I forgot to say, but congratulations on winning kingdom.” yugyeom said to chan. “the performances you guys had were insane.”

“ah.” chan chuckled after swallowing his food. “thank you.”

“and you noona, what have you been up to these days?”

elsy simply shrugged. “not much really. doing lots of online shopping if that counts as something.” she said. “and also hanging around with this guy.” the girl smiled, linking her arm with chan’s again.

“ew.” bambam made a face. elsy threw a small fry at him. which was no use because bambam ended up catching it in his mouth.

“no talks in comeback for you?”

“oh!” the girl exclaimed, looking at chan. “now that you mentioned it, yes. I’m slowly preparing for a comeback. we’re just in talks right now.”

“ugh, I’m excited for it.” she squealed.

“damn, we barely made our debuts and you’re already on a comeback. you work fast, elsa.”

“I mean, I did have my debut in like the beginning of the year.”

“yeah, and it was only a few months since you had left the company.” yugyeom said.

elsy shrugged. “then I guess you’re right. maybe I do work fast.”

chan had intertwined his fingers with elsy’s under the table. “do you have like a date or month of when your comeback will take place?” he questioned.

“probably around august.” she answered which caused chan’s eyes to light up. “so around the time my group has our comeback too.”

elsy softly gasped. “yes. that means we’ll get to see each other in music shows.” she ran a hand through chan’s hair.

the two boys in front of them let out a fake cough, catching their attention. “I mean if you wanted this to be a double date, you should of just asked, lee elsy.”

“sorry.” she laughed. “let’s go back to celebrating.” as soon as the words left her mouth, their waiter had came back to their table with four shot glasses filled with alcohol.

“I’m not drinking this.” chan slightly chuckled.

“aw come on man!” yugyeom exclaimed. “you have to.”

“I’m not a drinker.”

“your girlfriend is.” bambam pointed out when seeing elsy gulped down the shot in no time, not even waiting for bambam and yugyeom.

“here.” bambam said, giving elsy chan’s shot glass. “drink chan’s too. show my boy chris the real you when you’re drunk. drink it, drink it now.”

“bambam!” elsy shouted but still took the drink from him. “it’s just a celebration shot. to my favorite maknaes, and your debuts.” she raised the small glass and took the second shot that belonged to chan.

“look at you!” yugyeom laughed. “you can’t even wait for us.”

[thequibblah]

hi so i'm looking for some new music to listen to and i thought you could help because you have great taste!

if this helps, i'll tell you what i normally listen to, which is very basic & basically the same few artists over and over lol

- mostly just taylor swift, she makes up 70+% of my listening probably haha and if i had to pick a favorite genre of hers it would be the folkmore style

- some other pop, like olivia rodrigo and conan gray and lorde & some doja cat but i'm not a huge fan of doja's lyrics

- lyrics are really big for me, so is having a pretty voice and nice melodies

- i love your playlists but the old songs are usually not my style (there's been some though that i really like, ty for that !! <3)

- ceremonials is my favorite florence album

- liability is my favorite lorde song

no problem if u don't want to!

OH i basically recommend things for a living so why not music, eh?

so. what i'm getting from this is that you have three big listening buckets: soft acoustic and indie pop and just plain old pop. so i will divide my recs by those broad genres! i too prefer singable music so i will try to lay off on especially dissonant artists, or mark them as such so you can be prepared (LOL)

acoustic/folksy (i'll admit i am a big indie pop girl so this stuff will be a bit sparser)

phoebe bridgers — admittedly she is more alt-rocky, but see garden song, savior complex, moon song, graceland too, prayer in open D

waxahatchee — can't do much (GOD THIS SONG), lilacs, st. cloud

lucy dacus — also more alt-rocky, but here r some softer jams: hot & heavy, christine, green eyes, red face (a jily song)

anything by first aid kit! start with stay gold and the lion's roar

hozier — i feel like most people on the internet have listened to SOME hozier but check out wasteland, baby! (i tried to pick individual songs and ended up listing most of the album LOL)

kacey musgraves — another artist you've probably listened to already, but try golden hour

brittany howard — stay high must be the sweetest song in existence, and basically all of her album jaime

arlo parks — the whole album but especially caroline, hurt, and black dog

lake street dive — i can change, good kisser (a mary song if i've ever heard one), and i adore their hall & oates cover!

anya marina — this whole album has had me by the throat since like 2013

lucius — just the whole album wildewoman, h/t @figg-anon for putting me onto this!

idk what tf genre fiona apple is but try her out as well!

artists i listen to less of but are in this vein: the lumineers, bon iver, vance joy

u know i had to rec some old people shit (LOLLLL), so in this vein, joni mitchell, heart, judee sills, emmylou harris, joan baez, vashti bunyan

one-off songs you might like: hold you now by vampire weekend, big wheel by samia, i eat boys by chloe moriondo, strawberry blond by mitski (i worship at the altar of mitski but she might not be your speed haha), like i used to (acoustic) by sharon van etten & angel olsen, body by julia jacklin, jackie onassis by sammy rae and the friends, cowgirl bebop by HANA

indie pop BELOVED

maggie rogers — ok i cannot recommend this higher like if u like lorde and conan gray drop everything now and mainline maggie's brilliant debut album

HAIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! — they've got poppier songs like want you back and more mellow songs like summer girl, but honestly i would just recommend a deep dive because they have a pretty surprising breadth within their own alt-rock/pop niche

caroline polachek — can sometimes get way out n weird in the pop sense but so hot you're hurting my feelings is a very listenable pop standard (also it's so funny she's such a clever lyricist also this is irrelevant here but she sounds amazing live), also love look at me now and her cover of breathless

charli xcx is more experimental pop but would rec trying out warm (FT HAIM!!!), blame it on your love (FT LIZZO!!), and official

rina sawayama — technically her album is all sorts of genres but especially XS, comme des garcons, paradisin', bad friend, and tokyo love hotel

orla gartland is a lil softer and i love more like you, oh GOD, and did it to myself

king princess — especially cheap queen, 1950, holy, but basically all of cheap queen

more one-offs: kansas by ashe, comeback by CRJ (full paean in her honour to come in the pop section), i am a big fan of other people covering the bleachers (LOL) especially rollercoaster by charli xcx and i wanna get better by tinashe (full tinashe praise to come too), saturdays by twin shadow (FT HAIM!!!), the kiss of venus and 3 nights by dominic fike (also his interlude on halsey's album), aute cuture and milionària by rosalía, young lover by st. vincent (i love her but again might not be for u haha), good days by sza, backyard boy by claire rosinkranz, slow dancing by aly & aj, hot sugar by glass animals

if ur down to try out something weird witchy and cool, kate bush is like the originator of 9 billion pop and rock genres and hounds of love is a masterpiece

pure pop (we can split hairs on what makes pure pop LOL but basically everything here is based on ur enjoyment of doja)

carly rae jepsen — ok if u haven't listened to her non-radio-hits u may be like "what?? call me maybe lady???" to which i say YES, especially window, stay away, no drug like me, and too much

victoria monet — this may or may not be a selling point to you, but victoria is a frequent ariana grande collaborator and you can absolutely hear it in her music (see also: the mattress spring background noises in dive JUST like they are in positions...), and i love experience, go there with you, and we might even be falling in love, and why not throw in her ariana grande collab monopoly

magdalena bay — how to get physical which i am destined, nay, contractually bound, to put in a jily modern AU someday, killshot, stop & go

tinashe — basically ALL of her new album!!! SO good. i also love rascal (superstar), esther, and old jams like company (and i JUST found out she has a chaka khan cover!)

chloe x halle have the most angelic vocals in the world

this might sound actually demented because WHO hasn't heard love on the brain but rly... go give ANTI a re-listen...

tove lo — especially are u gonna tell her, mateo, and jacques

WAIT I FORGOT TO SAY ROBYN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERY ROBYN SONG!!!!!!!

for that throwback poppy sound u may as well go real throwback KJAHKJA and check out donna summer!

one-offs: right to it by louis the child n ashe, serial lover by kehlani (also more by her but im getting lazy now kdjfhgk), missed calls by max n hayley kiyoko, peppers and onions by tierra whack, idk who hasnt heard this song but circles by meg, todo de ti by rauw alejandro (the way i wanted this to be song of the summer so bad ;___;)

hope you enjoy and pls come back and tell me if you really liked any of these!!!! xoxo

[fyeah-bangtan7]

Jin: “I just hope anyone who likes me is happy”

When you’re trying to speak candidly with someone, it’s not always easy to be pleasant and considerate at the same time. Jin is all those things. “Butter” is staying on top of the Billboard Hot 100. How does it feel? Jin: I can’t really get a feel for what kind of response it’s getting since I can only go to and from work right now. Since all the awards shows are done remotely/have moved online, too, we can’t accept any awards in person or feel the vibe in person or anything. And I don’t use the Internet much, really. Consequently, I ended up feeling less pressure and I could enjoy the promotional period itself a little better. I’m just glad we’re doing well in the meantime.

In your last interview with Weverse Magazine, you talked about the pressure you felt after “Dynamite” topped the Billboard Hot 100, but it seems like you’re mostly over that. Jin: You could say that I cleared my mind, or that I worked through some things. I’m pretty sure I am doing better than then. I’m keeping a pretty regular routine now that I’m getting accustomed to commuting life, even though my schedule is sometimes a bit erratic. When I had to keep working without a single day off, I was sometimes really tired because I had things of my own to do after work before going to bed, but now after cycling through this routine for a while I’m a little healthier and I’m getting a little more sleep, too.

Before “Butter” came out, you released a solo song, “Abyss.” You were very forthcoming about the psychological difficulties you revealed in the lyrics and what you wrote about the song. What effect did releasing “Abyss” have on you? Jin: I felt a kind of relief. I want my fans to picture me as being happy and I don’t actually want them to know that I feel that way, but now and then I feel the need to talk about what’s inside me. It’s been a few years since I expressed it in a song or explained anything about it so I feel a tiny bit relieved.

Part of the lyrics say, “I want to know more about you today.” That overlaps with the line, “I hold my breath and enter my ocean,” to make a song that’s like you’re meeting your own inner self. Jin: Even I don’t know myself very well, and I was also depressed at the time, and that’s how I chose to face that part of myself. I never had a chance to meet myself, and I just feel like I was submerged in my own ocean and came back up to walk on the beach.

It’s not a perfect solution, but just the act itself of trying to go deep into the place with the answer appears to have had a positive influence on you. Jin: I’m trying. I thought that sort of exercise was right for me, but if this doesn’t resolve anything, I’ll try something else, and then something else. If I’m having a hard time, I can ask the label for some time off to do something else. I feel like just being able to do that, even, is a little bit helpful itself.

Is your style of singing in that song related to the message you wanted to convey? You tried to reveal the problems you had in a frank manner and solve them in some way, and the song disclosed your emotions as straightforwardly as the lyrics did. Jin: I handled the overall direction and composition of the song with Kye Bumzoo, one of the producers, and Pdogg, the other producer, directed while I recorded the vocals. We decided I would just go with my gut and not try to make it sound pretty or anything. That goes for the lyrics, too. I prefer songs that convey emotion in a calm, straightforward manner, both when I sing and when I’m listening to music.

Then what about “Butter”? Although it’s also straightforward like “Abyss,” the feelings it expresses are more pleasant. Jin: Seriously, sometimes I think how great it’d be if I could sing this kind of song exclusively—other than the chorus. (laughs) I mean, every song we sing is so high-pitched. If you take out the chorus of this song, I thought I could do this song live pretty comfortably, no matter how hard the dance moves are.

You sing the “Butter” chorus in a light, high pitch. You must have given a lot of thought about how to express yourself for that part. Jin: I felt pressure because the notes in the chorus are particularly high, so I put all my power into singing it, but I actually ended up putting too much power into my vocals, so I kept thinking I have to ease up and chill. When we were doing the first performance in particular, I forgot all of that and put power behind my vocals. I get nervous for every performance, but some make me especially nervous. I feel it sometimes whenever I do those performances. Inside I’m like, Right—Seokjin, you said you would ease up, remember? Anyway, it’s also nice that I get to show off a lot in “Butter.” You know I’m handsome, right? (laughs) It makes me happy that I can show off my handsome face to my heart’s content and show you everything I’m capable of. I wanted to show all of this off in a performance as quickly as possible.

“Butter” opens with you making gestures with your hands while looking cheerfully into the camera. I imagine you had a lot of fun preparing for the performance. Jin: Practice is honestly a burden, though. Usually when we practice, I’m slow at learning the moves. So I’m not very good at it. [And] when I practiced with [performance director Son] Sung Deuk, he was really worried at first. This is tough—can he pull it off? He worried a lot, right up until we got up for our first performance, but when he saw me again after two or three weeks of doing “Butter,” he said to me, Whoa, is this Seokjin, the guy getting all that hot feedback lately? (laughs) He said I was dancing great. At first I hadn’t seen the response, so I asked him if he was teasing me, but he said, “No, everybody’s saying you’re dancing great.” If that’s really true, it’s all thanks to him. (laughs)

In the “ARMY Corner Store” video uploaded to YouTube for FESTA 2021 in celebration of the eighth anniversary of your debut, you said you put a lot of effort into following the songs and dances. Aren’t you satisfied with how “Butter” turned out? I feel like the song was more enjoyable thanks to the character you’ve built up over time. Jin: Well, the song where I’m most satisfied with myself is “Butter,” because I’ve been honing my skills for a long time at this point, and “Butter” is our latest release. As time goes by and we come out with more songs, and if I improve more, my favorite song will be whatever is newest, and then “Butter” might not be as satisfying to me anymore. But it’s the most satisfying one for now.

In what ways have you gotten better? Jin: When I first started this job, I practiced according to the staff’s directions, and even now in the case of dancing I’m still striving to follow along, but it takes me less time to adjust than it used to. When I review after practice, I can see how it’s going and what I need to do. It takes a little less time to line myself up with the beat than before, and I think I’ve become able to refine it a bit better. I was also happy this time around when Hobi told me my dancing really improved.

How was performing for “Permission to Dance”? Jin: I really like the song, but when we perform it, I wish I’d had more time to prepare. We had a comeback in May with “Butter” and then a fan meeting concert in June, so we got ready for “Permission to Dance” at the same time we were filming performances of “Butter.” We didn’t have anything else we had to work on before “Butter” so we had plenty of time to practice it, but we had to practice “Permission to Dance” and get ready for the fan meeting simultaneously. Time’s always tight, but I think I could’ve done even better if I could’ve taken a little more time. I wish I had had more time to put a little more effort in.

The more time you spend practicing, the better the outcome, and the more ambitious you end up becoming. Jin: So, I’m not good at memorizing lyrics, for instance. I think some of the other members can catch on real quick, but it’s not like that for me. So if we do something like a new song or a special one at a fan meeting, I have to spend more time preparing than the others. When a new song’s coming out, I have to practice for at least 4-5 days to get the hang of it.

You performed the rap in “Daechwita” for BTS 2021 MUSTER SOWOOZOO, but it’s really rare to see you rapping. I imagine the process you went through to practice was intense. Jin: It was so hard. I had to do “Daechwita” and “Chicken Noodle Soup,” but it was only about a month before the concert when the set list was decided. During that time, I’d come home after finishing work, turn on the music for “Daechwita” and practice it for 15 minutes, then do “Chicken Noodle Soup” after that, and then go straight to sleep. The next day I’d wake up, go to work, come home and do another 15 minutes of “Daechwita” and more “Chicken Noodle Soup.” I kept repeating that for a really long time. I’m terrible at memorizing lyrics so that kind of took a while.

That’s a lot of time to keep practicing constantly like that. Your work-life balance must also be important, too. It’s difficult to practice beyond a certain amount of time every day without having some time to relax. Jin: Exactly. Like I said, my skills are lacking when it comes to memorizing lyrics, but I think I have other abilities that cover up for what I lack. In fact, I enjoy constantly memorizing things like that. My gift is my ability to enjoy practicing repeatedly, so if I somehow succeed before the deadline, I give myself praise. (laughs) Practicing takes me a long time, so I just decided to treat it as one big project. The way I do it is, when I say it’s time for a break, it’s time for a break, and I rest to my heart’s content.

You seemed to be talking about the importance of time spent outside working hours in “ARMY Corner Store” when you said the measure of your satisfaction is the degree to which you can pass your day meaninglessly. As a member of BTS, you must not have that much time to spend as you please. Jin: Koreans my age have no choice but to self-improve these days. You have to improve your qualifications, learn things, and people even tell you your hobbies have to be productive, even though they’re hobbies. After being taught that way since I was young, I think I need to follow through on that somehow. I feel like I have to do something productive, even when I’m trying to take a break. But if I don’t do a single thing and just loaf around in bed, or do some unproductive, unnecessary activity, I actually end up feeling satisfied. Go from sleeping to waking up, waking up to eating, eating to sleeping again. Wake up from sleep and suddenly want to watch TV, and go watch it. If there’s nothing good on TV, play a game, then look at the clock, and if it’s late, sleep. I think everyone needs days like this.

That time must become all the more important when you’re busy being a member of BTS, since you don’t have much time to spend that way. Jin: When I’m not working, all I really want to do is something I enjoy for myself. In that case, people might wonder why you’re doing things that won’t help you in life, but I think that time’s important for everyone. Society is always seeking out the things that are useful. And that’s good, too, but for our own sake, I think we require time to find stability in our own minds, even if it looks useless in the eyes of others.

Speaking of which, you posted a picture of yourself eating with Bang Si-hyuk, the producer, on Weverse. It’s amazing that two people with so much influence and things to do can take the time to relax together. Jin: People around the office might feel he is unapproachable, but I don’t find him to be like that. (laughs) So I asked him in passing to have a drink and he suddenly said, “Okay, when are you free?” Most of the time, though, I only meet like that on a spur of the moment, so I said, “Uh, I’m busy right now. This day’s all booked up, too, and so’s this day.” (laughs) “Then just give me a rough time and I’ll make time when you’re done.” We talked back and forth like that and he came to see me the next day for dinner when I was all finished with work. And he said he’d cook for me and buy wine, too. Anyway, it was a nice meal.

You couldn’t have felt that comfortable with him before your debut (laughs) but as time passed, many things have changed. Everyone became so successful, too. Jin: You could say that I was in a position where I was looking for a job when I was a trainee. At the time, I thought people who got chosen seemed really cool, but by contrast I had no confidence. I don’t think it would’ve actually happened this way, but I thought if I talked to someone who found work, they would give me the cold shoulder, sort of. So I didn’t feel very confident.

I think you showed that you have confidence with the joke you told on tvN’s You Quiz on the Block about your older brother calling you Mr. Seokjin lately, or when you talked about the mood when an older relative gave you money for Korean New Years on V LIVE. That you can easily accept anyone no matter how they handle you. Jin: Right. If I don’t behave that way, everyone else has a harder time. People I know will say “the superstar is here” as a joke. If I say, “Superstar? What are you talking about? Don’t say that,” and give them a serious look, they’ll have no idea what to call me next time or what to talk about. Honestly, if someone who’s meeting me for the first time or doesn’t see me that often responds in that kind of somewhat exaggerated way, they might think it’s fun. I’m sure that’s the way I’d react if I met a really famous person. So if someone says, “Aha, the superstar is here,” I say, “the superstar has come!” too. As long as I don’t respond in a serious way so everyone can tell it’s a joke, the ice is broken.

Now that you’re a superstar for real—not a joke—is there anything you’d tell the old, unconfident Jin from the past if you could meet him? Jin: I don’t know what I would tell him. I want to tell him to keep his head up (laughs) but if I gave my old self too much to think about, he might end up feeling exhausted after practice and give up. I think it would be enough just to tell him to work hard.

Where do you find the ambition to keep working hard, even now? Jin: From ARMY’s reactions, of course. I’d say I’m trying harder and trying to do well without exhausting myself so I can see people on Twitter or Weverse saying I’ve improved or that I’m doing a good job. And these days we have to do the performances on film, and we shoot them in advance for the sake of quality. Because of that, we usually record the performances long before the songs get released, which means we have to change our looks for the recording. It’s hard to go public with my new look until anything’s officially released for that reason, or else there could be spoilers. That makes me all the more eager to show off the best parts of myself in our performances. If it weren’t for the current situation, I could instantly see our fans’ reactions, so it’s a shame they can’t see me working this hard.

What would you like to say to ARMY? Jin: I hope our fans don’t lose their laughter. I’m not really good at saying those kinds of cheesy things. It’s not in my personality. I feel embarrassed and cringey when I talk like that and I can’t take myself seriously, so I try to keep it to a minimum. But fans watch us as a hobby, you know? Hobbies are all about enjoying yourself and being able to laugh, so I want to look happy for them, not exhausted. I go out of my way to make funny posts or leave funny replies on Weverse to make them happier. I just hope anyone who likes me is happy. And I don’t want them to see anything bad. That’s how I feel about my work.

© source

[nct-lian]

relationships outside of sm

JENNIE + LIAN: JENLI

so iconic omg like how they do it, i have no idea

they hang out all the time and lian is literally ALWAYS on jennie’s instagram

the two of them once had an instagram story conversation over pigtails

like,, jennie posted a picture of lian’s pigtails for that one bicycle performance on her story and captioned it “pigtail baby” and then lian reposted it on her own story with a picture of jennie’s pigtails, captioning it “pigtail eomma”

speaking of eomma, jennie is genuinely her mother

jennie takes her shopping all the time

and in return, lian buys her food

the interactions these two used to have at award shows were SO CUTE

everyone remembers when jennie pretty much yelled out lian’s name and she just came running over to the members of blackpink after taeyong let her leave :(

i’m crying just thinking about it help

jennie also posted a full on instagram post for lian on her birthday and had such a sweet caption with it

it was something like “my daughter is finally 21 today! i hope she has an amazing day and i can’t wait to see her later tonight to give her a gift :) haneullie, lots of love from jennie eomma”

SPEAKING OF THE GIFT,, jennie bought her a whole ass $9000 necklace from chanel because she knew that lian was looking for more

IM IN TEARS AND SO ARE YOU ADMIT IT RN

jenli kpop bestest duo

dispatch once thought jennie was on a date with a girl but it turned out to just be her walking lian home after going shopping with her so they never posted anything about it

they were embarrassed they got something wrong so i get it

omfg when news came out that lian and jinwoo broke up mama jennie was threatening to punch the shit out of him

KEVIN + LIAN: LIMOON

what i’ve been waiting to write for so long okay here we go

so mf chaotic like there are compilations made of these two that scream “go crazy go stupid”

their time as guest mc’s for inkigayo was probably some of the best kpop content we’d gotten in a long ass time

KEVIN IS CAUTIOUS WHEN LETTING HER MEET HIS MEMBERS

cause she’s such a good friend to him and wtf why would he wanna share

“mine mine mine mine” constant dory vibes 24/7

lian thrives off of calling him by his korean name because she knows it annoys him

he’s constantly teasing her for having bagged milk in toronto so he deserves it

the one time lian and jacob talked to each other they seemed to be getting along too much for kevin’s liking so he really went:

“okay lian isn’t it time for you to go” because he WAS GETTING JEALOUSJCLSJX

their styles are pretty much complete opposites and everytime they take pictures together kevin never forgets to mention how off it all looks

“tf is that why are your clothes so boring”

“okay sNaKe pAnTs” because of that one eric moment on kpop daebak show where he said kevin had pants with snakes on them

ALSO BTW LIANS CLOTHES ARENT FUCKING BORING SHES JUST FANCY LIKE THAT

i’m getting heated let me calm down.

they normally speak in english to each other but since lian seems to be stuttering over her words when she isn’t speaking korean, he mixes in a few korean phrases every now and then to help her out

kevin is arguably the most hype every single time lian performs, like he really thinks there isn’t anything better

LIAN MAKES SURE TO UPDATE HER INSTAGRAM STORY WHENEVER TBZ HAVE A COMEBACK SO NCTZENS GO SUPPORT THEM

LIA + LIAN: LILIA

more lian x the canadian line WOOHOO

lia spent her trainee days really looking up to lian and she’s even mentioned before that she’d love for itzy to get the chance to collab with her for a song

she really has her fingers crossed for that btw

they actually met during an award show when ryujin, chaeryeong and yuna all had to leave because it was past curfew

lian decided to sit next to them and during all the intermissions between performances she, lia and yeji conversed to pass time

they ended up growing a friendship together but lian has a stronger bond with lia

she loves all the girls either way but yk

lia and lian love going to cafes together and taking adorable pictures :(

like whenever lia posts on itzy’s instagram midzeys don’t exactly know whether or not lian would be on it too :0

like lian normally posts all the scenery pictures she gets to keep her instagram pleasing whereas lia posts the pictures the two of them take together

my heart </3

lian treats lia like a whole daughter because it isn’t often she finds girls that are younger than her

*screams in the fact that majority of sm’s female artists are all from 2015 and under*

like when i say lian SPOILS her i’m not joking

she will randomly call lia up like:

“hey i’m gonna get you out of that dungeon, come get some chicken with me”

and then they’ll just hang out together

but only if lian is out of the dungeon herself because wbk she ain’t treated very well </3

EUNWOO + LIAN: WOOLI

their chemistry is fucking insane holy shit

like their acting for past to present was seriously so praised, netizens found it hard to believe it was all just for the show

dating rumours follow these two everywhere,, like everywhere

it’s one of the most popular ships inside ncity when it comes to lian and other idols

i kid you not one tweet said “chanhyeok treated jihye so well in past to present, i’m only wondering how well eunwoo would treat lian 👀”

LIKE STOP PUTTING IDEAS INTO PEOPLES HEADS YOURE KILING ME HERE ISTG

but yeah they do look really good together

and they’re an amazing pair for acting

when eunwoo started working with inyeop for true beauty, he said:

“hyung’s dating my girlfriend” because of the fact that both of them have acted with lian and BOTH of them dated her in the dramas

what a coincidence though

we all cried when we saw chanhyeok and jihye kiss for the first time DONT LIE

EUNWOO FOLLOWS HER ON INSTAGRAM

and they wished each other happy birthday on their instagram stories

there’s actually people who like to think that they dated while filming for past to present andddd they radiate big delulu vibes

like you know liskook shippers? wooli shipped are kinda the same, but not as intense (thank god)

BUT CAN WE BLAME THEM LIKE THEIR CHEMISTRY? THE WAY THEY TALKED TO EACH OTHER? PLEASE

they took a lot of cute pictures together behind the scenes (ノ﹏ヽ)

MOMO + LIAN: LIMO

DANCER DUO DANCER DUO

this ship isn’t actually as popular as we would like it to be, but nonetheless people love limo

a lot of interactions during award shows !!

like for example momo’s fancams always captured her dancing perfectly to lian’s choreo

and lian smiling in momo’s direction

i love them

when lian found out about heechul and momo’s relationship, she asked momo if she was her mom now because of how much of a father figure she considers heechul to be JDFJK

“i mean sure”

they’ve actually done a vlive together before (ᗒᗨᗕ)

it was when lian visited her at the twice dorms and they ended up getting bored so they decided to do a vlive in the living room

THEY PLAYED DARE OR DARE AND LIAN HAD TO DO THE TEARS CHALLENGE (so chan whee) ON MOMOS KARAOKE MACHINE

her throat was dry for the rest of the night

after seeing momo’s hair for the i can’t stop me era, lian actually wanted to cut it like that

but she decided against it because she loves her long hair too much

the two of them met on hit the stage where they competed against each other in a freestyle dance battle

after that they just started casually talking over the phone and became great friends

with the way momo talks about lian, you’d think they’re dating-

“oh, lian- she’s so pretty! i love her a lot!”

and the same goes for lian, she loves talking about momo’s dancing skills

JACKSON + LIAN: JACKLIAN

her dad :/

adopted her with amber liu like a year ago so now she’s just his daughter

supports each other like crazy not even joking

jackson promotes her on instagram and twitter 24/7

THEY HAVE SO MANY INTERACTIONS THANK GOD

lian was once given a ridiculously short dress while attending an award show and jackson gave her his jacket to wear over her legs because she wasn’t provided a blanket :(

(keep in mind, she went there without the members!)

lian added all his music to her playlist :)

once got drunk together and spent like three hours doing karaoke but it’s okay cause it was fun

speaking of getting drunk, jackson’s the cool dad that lets her do whatever she wants

he has his protective moments where he’s like “ma’am where are you going on that short of a dress” but he’s also like “hey wanna go get chicken and soju”

they both appeared on a radio show together as guests and they ruined the whole broadcast because they were too loud

like they kept getting out of their seats to go wave at all the fans outside the window and they were just fighting back and forth about whether or not lian’s extensions look real

according to jackson, they’re “NOT AUTHENTIC ENOUGH- LOVE YOUR HAIR FOR WHAT IT IS, LIANNA HANEUL BAE.” lian’s hair lives matter :/

PLSSS WHEN HYOSEOP AND LIAN STARTED DATING- no

jackson was so proud that his good friend was smooching his other good friend but the protective dad instincts really kicked in

“break her heart and you die no cap”

was surprisingly chill when they broke up though, he was just glad lian didn’t cry

SUNMI + LIAN: SUNLI

SUNMI IS HER MOM OHMYGOD

so many interactions

honestly took lian under wing once she debuted as a soloist

female kpop soloists gotta have each other’s backs in this industry man :(

sunmi calls lian her princess SOBS

lian always hugs sunmi at award shows, like if they’re sitting close together

or if they’re standing next to each other on stage

you bet your ass lian is gripping onto sunmi for dear life

did a photoshoot together for marie claire korea

they’re so hot bro

BUT THEY FIRST MET ON WEEKLY IDOL NOT LONG AFTER LIAN DEBUTED AS A SOLOIST

they were kinda awkward ngl uh

but by the end of it they were besties :DD

and they’ve been besties ever since

lian is the ceo of doing dance covers for sunmi’s songs

cmon lian we’re waiting for tail 👀

sunmi has actually met lian’s grandma </3

like her and lian were hanging out at the dorms while the boys were out on a schedule and her grandma just randomly showed up with homemade food so that was definitely a win

BANG CHAN + LIAN: LICHAN

they’ve been friends for a LOOONGGG time

and chain’s known her since dating back to like, smrookies era when lian was still a red velvet member

like at that time she had no idea he existed, but he was keeping up with her daily :(

chan plays her music on vlives all the time and he always knows the dance moves

like he just dances along in his chair and mumbles the lyrics

we love to see it

a lot of fans ship them together

SURPRISE SURPRSIE AH

only because chan gives off big pining energy

lian only looks at him like “:D” whereas he looks at her like “♡•♡”

kinda sad but

lian promotes him on live so often HVKSVU

“my friend chan is coming back with his group soon, you should check it out! :)”

and the way she just says “my friend chan” LIKE ITS SO OBVIOUSLY A FRIENDZONE BUT HE THINKS ITS ADORABLE

he once got a comment on a vlive to react to lian moments, obviously complying because who wouldn’t

there was this one clip of her saying “my friend chan from stay kids!” and whoever edited the compilation added in squishy noises right after while zooming in on her face

AND CHAN BLUSHED SO HARD NOO

“oh- hahaha, uhh, she’s so cute aw hahahah”

ASHLEY + LIAN: ASHLI

oh god not another lian x mom ship

ASHLEY LOVES LIAN WOAH

like she’s submitted lian’s resume to bm so many times so they could be part of the big tiddie committee together

ashley is constantly, and i mean constantly, reposting all of lian’s posts on her story with captions like “LOOK AT HER GO”

and lian has even discovered all the cool instagram filters because of ashley, and now we get the quality content from her that WE DESERVEEEEE

back when lian’s album came out, all ashley’s story really was was just screenshots of her streaming all the songs and calling them bops

when they first met in person after texting back in forth, ashley spammed her instagram story with pictures of lian that she took without her looking

these two radiate a lot of “YES GIRL WORKKK ITTT TURN THIS WAY OKAYYY POSE POSE POSE” energy

lian’s been featured in one of ashley’s youtube videos and it was when they met for the first time :)

they exchange a lot of gifts through the mail

like lian once found a mug when shopping with doyoung and she thought that it would fit ashley’s taste so she sent it to her apartment

and ever since then they just send random little gifts to each other’s houses

it’s so cute

MATCHING BUCKET HATS THEY HAVE MATCHING BUCKET HATS !!!!!!

ashley talks about lian all the time

she always says that for someone so young, she’s accomplished a lot and she’s really proud of her

they wanna do tiktoks with each other but they never have the time </3

lian spam comments on ashley’s instagram like “WOAH” “OKAYYYY” “YESYESYES”

[stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland]

Award shows - ɟ

Heeeelloo, my fellow CS 👋🏼

The idea for this post came to me because I recently saw again that some fans still can’t explain some things about the awards, therefore, I’m going to briefly explain the things I’ve read on which they’re still confused about so that maybe I’ll automatically answer some questions you guys have too.

First of all, celebrities, whether they’re actors, singers, models, heirs, fashion mavens, aristocrats, etc., are notified months before they’ve been invited. Usually, the reason why they were invited is written along with the invitation. The reasons obviously vary. They may have been invited because they were nominated for an award, or because, and they may accept or decline, they were asked to present a category or a performance, or to interview someone on the red-carpet or backstage, or to perform, etc., etc. They can also be added as I like to say ‘+1’. But be aware, there’s a difference between being invited as a ‘+1’ and as a guest.

‘Are they not the same thing?’ you’re probably wondering. No, they are not. Being invited as a guest is simply that. A celebrity who invites their partner, or their kid, or one of their parents, or a friend, as indeed their guest. The +1, on the other hand, is a term that I’m using because I don’t think there’s one to describe when a person who is also a celebrity is invited by another one. You know the seats they show us with pictures of celebrities and how some seats next to it lack these pictures? Those seats without pictures belong to the celebrity guests or their team members. If a celebrity invites another one, then next to their picture there will also be that of the celebrity they invited. Aka, the term I’m using in this case: the +1.

I’ll give you an example:

I’m a singer and my fake PR boyfriend has to perform that night, but I don’t, and neither have I been nominated for any awards and therefore not even invited. Also to keep up appearances of our relationship, I get invited as his +1. This means that you’re gonna see my picture next to his in the seats and the cameras will film me for literally two seconds counted during his performance. It also means that my fake boyfriend and I will be wearing matching outfits, that we’ll arrive on the red carpet together, that I’ll have to show unnecessary PDA out of the blue while one of our managers films us to make us more believable and real, and that I’ll have to pretend to be happy to be his arm candy. Do I accept or do I not accept the invitation?

Yeah, of course I do. It’s a great idea actually, both to show people my support as a cheerleader for him, and as publicity. Publicity not only for us as a couple, but also for myself. Our management, and yes, we have the same management, has arranged interviews for me too on the red carpet, so why shouldn’t I accept that? Plus, I want to go. Helloo? We’re talking about an important award show. Not to mention that my girlfriend performs too the same night and has also been nominated for several awards, so it’s just an extra incentive to want to go and be able to support her. Oohh, how foolish of me. I apologize for my forgetfulness. My name is Lauren Jauregui and I’m talking about the American Music Awards 2018.

See what I did there? 😏😏😏

These events are very exclusive and have an invitation list. If you’re a celebrity and you’re not on the list, then it’s very hard for you to be able to attend. But there’s a way, and no, I’m not talking about finding a way to sneak in. The only other way to get there is by taking the place of someone who had been invited and couldn’t attend.

Let’s say you’re a celebrity and you want to go there. Let’s say you want to go because you’ve been out of the spotlight for a long time and want to make a big comeback with a beautiful dress to show yourself off. The first thing you do is call your publicist and see if there are still seats available. Not all celebrities can attend those events despite being invited because they may have other commitments, or they’re out of town, or I don’t know, they’re on tour or something like that. So there’s the possibility that you can have their seat. If there aren’t any, then your publicist themselves may be looking for another way to get you in. Again, for an X reason, the celebrity who was supposed to present an award cannot go, and therefore your publicist manages to get you the invitation as one of the presenters. If none of these options are possible, then.. well, I hope you enjoy the show watched in the living room of your home.

You want another practical example? Okay, okay, babies, I’ll content you 😏

Latin Grammy Awards 2019. Still me, Lauren Jauregui, hi 🙋🏻 🙈 I wasn’t invited. I had no reason to actually be there, except for one…

I didn’t even publicize and say on my social media that I’d have been there. It was so unexpected and awesome for you nuggets, wasn’t it? Well, my girlfriend was invited but she unfortunately couldn’t go due to other commitments. You can imagine how sad she was not only to not being able to attend, but also to not being able to perform with Alejandro who is one of the people in the industry that she loves and admires the most, right? You can imagine her pout and her kicked puppy face for not being able to sing the song she wrote and dedicated to her little sister, can’t you? Well, I couldn’t bear to see her that way, so I told her: ‘Don’t worry, babe. I gotcha. I’ll go for you. I’ll go to represent you’. Also because her team didn’t need to be there, not even to collect the award which I later discovered she won the same evening. Awards, my beautiful chickens, are shipped months after the night they are received.

And so it was. I went with Brenda (my manager). I got dolled up. I did my interviews, even teasing my fans about my new project with Tainy. I sat in my baby’s seat in the front row. THE FRONT ROW. Front rows are reserved for the evening’s award winners. They NEVER put the winners in the back rows because it would take them too long to get to the stage when their name is called otherwise. And I was there, for her. And in addition to enjoying the show, I tried to hold back my happiness, especially since there were cameras everywhere, both during Alejandro’s performance as soon as my love appeared on the screens, and when they won the Record of the Year. I swear I had to get a hold of myself. I had to restrain myself and concentrate on clapping my hands like a normal person and not smiling too big.

*end of the sketch*

As you may have noticed so far, these are the only ways to attend award shows if you are a celebrity. But, just because you’re a celebrity, there’s no guarantee that you get invited. And you certainly cannot show up there with the hope that they’ll let you in without being invited, or nominated, or without a ticket just because you’re ‘someone’. Security kicks your ass out no matter who you are.

Every year, hundreds of celebrities don’t make it onto the invitation list. Keep in mind that the ‘exclusivity’ of these events is also due to the seats. Take as an example precisely the Microsoft Theater in Los Angeles where the AMAs 2018 took place. It has 7,100 seats. These seats are reserved for people in the show’s broadcast network, the telecast’s sponsors, the production team, the accountants, the legal team, the donors, the representatives, the press and media in general, etc., and THEN for the invited celebrities including singers and their teams, so also their publicists, agents, managers, [and not even all of them have a reserved seat; maybe only one of them has it and the rest are backstage or in the dressing room or not really there], etc., actors, and as with singers, their teams, the team of people who worked on the film with them, etc. See how many people and how few seats?

I’m still not 100% sure about this but, Emmy’s, Oscars, Golden Globes, Tony’s, and Grammy’s are the only award shows where the names of the winners aren’t revealed until the envelope is opened live on stage. All the remaining shows? Pfft, it’s all an organized thing. What you see on TV, the reactions ‘Oh my God, did I win? I can’t believe it!’, ‘I really wasn’t expecting that’, they’re all fake. Yes, the emotion for the win is true, but everything else? It’s all bullshit. Winners are notified long, but very long time before that. Indeed, many award shows only invite winners to attend. Haven’t you ever noticed how in some of them the other artists nominated in that same category aren’t even there? If they happened to be there, it’s because it’s very likely that they had won another category, or were there for other reasons, like presenting a performance or whatever.

Aaaand I’m done 😎😝 I think I’ve answered pretty much all the questions I’ve seen on the subject, even though I haven’t seen them here. If you yourselves have questions about this or anything else (even if you want advice on a personal level), as I’ve already said other times, feel free to ask. I’m at your disposal 😊

And thank you, Mari. It has been a while since I’ve done this, but I hope you know that I’m serious every time I thank you. Therefore, thank you once again for virtually letting me into your world and thank you for letting me continue to have little spaces in your blog 🤗🤗🤗

Thanks also to you babies for reading, liking, and re-blogging my occasional posts. But thanks mostly for her. Thanks to those who follow my friend’s blog with the right intentions. That is, with respect and without attacking her. Thanks to those who follow her because you actually like her and the content she posts, and thanks to those who use their brains before asking or submitting something to her. Thanks for real 🙏🏼

I hope you’re all well and that your holidays are continuing with peace and serenity. Stay safe, please. Stay patient. Keep the boat afloat. As usual, always with love, F ❤️

P.S. since I’m currently on vacation for a few more days before having to go back to work, and since I have a little bit more free time, I’m preparing something else for you based on some information that I was able to found out. Stay tuned for the next post 😉 The initials of the title are U and S, so you’ll know when you see it. Byee 😘

___

I was smiling with every word of this submit. Thanks for this clarification, F. It was awesome as usual

[writingbeary]

Kingdom - Pre-episode

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ATEEZ was seated around a table for a Kingdom shoot for a pre-episode. They weren’t told what they’ll be doing but they figured that it will probably be an interview before the show. Minyoung followed Seonghwa and sat beside him and San, usually she would have sat beside Hongjoong but seeing as the leader was sitting at the edges and near the camera, she opted to sit farther.

“I wonder what we’ll do today.” Minyoung mumbled as she made herself comfortable, leaning on Seonghwa’s shoulder while waiting for the staff to finish setting up.

Seonghwa patted her head smiling “I’m not sure but they said we’ll be watching something.”

“Oh? Were you fired by Minyoung as her pillow?” Wooyoung teased Yunho as he noticed the girl leaning on Seonghwa, making Yunho laugh and play along saying“I wasn’t told I got fired? I demand an explanation. Since when were you planning to hire a replacement?”

“Mhm. Seonghwa-oppa lets me hug him whenever and I feel neglected lately since you have to practice for your drama.” Minyoung put on her saddest acting face, making everyone laugh. It has been a running joke in the group that whenever Minyoung goes to find Yunho it only means one thing: she is sleepy and wants someone to cuddle.

They continued on with their chatter until the production staff asked them to hit the slate, everyone fixing their posture and focusing as the staff explained what they’ll be filming today.

“Top 3 videos? I wonder which videos are included. Would it include San-oppa’s fancam?” Minyoung asked looking to her left at the person in question

“I doubt it. Maybe our debut?” San shrugged

“We’ve done many performances on MCountdown, but <HALA HALA> might be..” Wooyoung started as everyone agreed.

“That’s true. Our fans liked our <HALA HALA> performances and outfits.” Yunho added in agreement

“Or the performance that we’ve done with SF9-sunbaenim?” Hongjoong suggested

Minyoung hummed before talking “Won’t it be our first win stage? Out of all our stages so far, I think they’ll like that one and it’s on MCountdown too.”

[The 3rd highest video of each team is?]

[ATEEZ <Say My Name> 2019.01.17 MCountdown]

“Hongjoong-hyung looks like a baby!” Wooyoung commented as Minyoung giggled nodding.

“Ah. The clothes with fur were so hot.” Yunho laughed remembering how they were all drenched in sweat after every recording

Wooyoung added as pointing towards the video “At that time, all the clothes were so heavy.”

“But Minyoung enjoyed those fur jackets and used them as pillows.” San laughed, teasing the girl

“Ah. That time. I was also filming for the drama and had to go straight from music show recording to drama filming. So I sleep whenever I can.” Minyoung reasoned out

“What are you saying? You still sleep whenever you can now.” at that Minyoung slapped San’s arm lightly pouting but laughed in agreement.

As they watch the whole performance, Jongho commented seeing his part on the screen “This was the first album as soon as Minyoung and I turned 20. We’re still quite a baby. We haven’t even had out graduation yet.” making Yunho and Wooyoung crack up

“You two are still babies. It’s just been two years ago.” Hongjoong piped up, making the two youngest members just laugh at the thought

“I shouldn’t say our concept is cute but...” Yunho started as he laughed seeing how they look on the video, looking real young and dressed in puffy fur coats.

“That stage. It was the first time to feel fire.” Seonghwa pointed out as the fireworks on their performance went out

“The heat sparkled on the head!” Yunho nodded

“Minyoung actually got a bit scared during the rehearsals saying there may be a fire.” Seonghwa chuckled as he felt the girl look at him in disbelief as if betrayed.

“I really thought someone could get hurt! I could feel it on my head and I’m already smaller than everyone.” Minyoung said defending herself. “and it was the first time we had fireworks from above.”

After watching the video, they all talked about the memorable parts of Say My Name promotions sharing some stories with the staff.

“This song was the best in letting everyone know us. Because we kept on saying our name.” Hongjoong concluded as everyone agreed

“Mhm. It repeats in your head when you hear it. Say my name, say my name, say my name~” Minyoung nodded as she sang a bit of the song

“But this is interesting, watching our old videos together.” Seonghwa commented chuckling.

“I wonder what the other two videos are. If this was the first one then maybe we’re completely wrong in our guesses” Hongjoong nodded as he pressed play on the second video.

[The second videos is... ATEEZ <Wonderland> 2019.10.10 MCountdown]

Hongjoong surprised as Wonderland played “<Wonderland>?”

Everyone explaimed in surprise and commenting how long it took to film this performance to achieve the final effect for the show.

“It’s almost like a music video.” Seonghwa commented

“This stage where we had the compass and Minyoung was in the center got viral too. Atiny called it as Alice in Wonderland.” Wooyoung pointed at the screen as he remembered the detail

“Ahh I remember. I remember.” Minyoung nodded and laughing at the memory “My brother also called me to ask why my photos were trending as Alice in Wonderland when I’ve been using my Korean name.”

“One thing I know for sure, after we watched Say My Name...we look better here.” San piped in with others in agreement. They were all satisfied with their stage outfits for Wonderland.

Yeosang who has been quiet throughout the shoot spoke, “Atiny especially loved Minyoung during this comeback.” 

Minyoung tilted her head, wondering “I didn’t really have many lines though, but I did have center position during the last chorus.”

Suddenly Seonghwa’s part played and he immediately commented “The best chorus ever” making both Wooyoung and Minyoung look at him ready to tease him

“It’s the best part because you came out?” Wooyoung laugh teasingly with Seonghwa denying it hurriedly.

Wooyoung continued “You said that as soon as you came out.” then Yunho adding in “He didn’t say that for my part in Verse 1″ having fun teasing their oldest member.

“Wasn’t this the performance where Minyoung cried?” Jongho asked suddenly remembering it when Minyoung’s part in the song came

“Me?” Minyoung looked at him confused

“Ah! It is. As soon as we went down backstage, she was tearing up saying her in-ear fell off during her dance and was worrying if the last part got ruined.” Wooyoung nodded remembering it too

“Ahh. I really thought I ruined the performance. I couldn’t hear myself but since we were recording live, I just continued singing.” Minyoung explained pouting “I was really thinking I’m so screwed and was so nervous when we were monitoring our stage after.” Seonghwa patted the girl’s back as if to give reassurance.

“The thing is <Wonderland> wasn’t out original title song for this album. <Answer> was supposed to be the title song for this album. But everyone agreed to use <Wonderland> instead.” Hongjoong giving some insight on the story behind the song

“I thought <Wonderland> suit better for our full album.” Yunho nodding in agreement

“But if <Wonderland> was our 2nd top video, will Wave even come out?” Minyoung wondered out loud as the check the final video.

[The Top 1 video is... ATEEZ <Wonderland> 2019.10.31 MCountdown]

“Yah. The Halloween version is higher than the original one!” Hongjoong exclaimed laughing

[The youngest team’s top 1 video is Halloween Version <Wonderland>]

“Wonderland even with this concept?” Seonghwa asked curiously as their top 2 video was also Wonderland. “We really worked hard for this performance. We all opened our eyes wide.”

“We just saw the original stage but this is really different.” Hongjoong laughing as the dance break played

“We danced differently as well.” Yunho added in as he danced a bit in his seat “The choreography was changed a bit for this one. Like a zombie on purpose.”

San nodded chuckling as the watch the video “As if we didn’t have any bones”

“I get why people liked this one better than the original.” Minyoung acknowledged as she also finds this performance more interesting particularly after watching both versions back-to-back.

“We can really tell why people watched this one a lot. Like this halloween version, we need to make them watch our stage first to make them know us. So having a hot stage could be one way.” Hongjoong concluded with the others nodding in agreement. “Let’s prepare more stages like this one in the future.”

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ATEEZ Minyoung Masterlist

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. Any portrayal of real people is a combination based on what we could see on cameras and imagination of the author. This is purely fan fiction written for fun. Thank you for understanding.

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Writing Beary Corner:

Kingdom episodes incoming! If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been excited to post these and have actually made this even before I wrote the earlier posts lol

-Mimi

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