#generalized seizure

[ribbitflings]

anyone have any papers on generalized epileptic seizures triggering a PTSD relapse

I tend to like to collect scholarly papers on various subjects, this being one since it happens to be a more personal subject.

December has been a rough month personally and when it came to seizures, beginning with a lot of relational problems and devastating realizations and so far I have thirteen major seizure events on my calendar, not even including individual seizures during those events (because they can cluster). I ended up having a bad PTSD relapse during this month, pretty sure this is the worst one yet, complete with multiple kinds of hallucinations, flashbacks, nightmares, the works. I even ended up hallucinating in a postictal state and having a panic attack over it after a recent generalized seizure. I have a suspicion that the flashbacks and PTSD symptoms are worse after the more violent seizures as well, which leads me to believe it is the seizures activating these areas.

I'm on zonisamide and keppra and have been watching a little more TV than usual (important because it tends to give me anxiety, especially if what I'm watching has action scenes or is unfamiliar), so the relapse could also be from one of these things, or even the events that occurred at the beginning of the month, or perhaps even everything combined.

My current theory is that the seizures will generalize and activate the areas of the brain with the trauma, and considering my state was already fragile to begin with, it kind of facilitated a collapse. I currently only have one paper (Koubeissi, M. Z. (2012). Vivid recollection of a past traumatic event: A rare manifestation of temporal lobe seizures. Epileptic Disorders, 14(3), 325–328. https://doi.org/10.1684/epd.2012.0530) on the subject from a prior experience this summer that prompted this finding, so it isn't necessarily new to me, but at the same time, just as unsettling and infuriating. Anyway, does anyone else have any more papers on this particular subject?

[whump-for-comfort]

My second entry for the @whumperless-whump-event! This one is two prompts combined.

Day 2: Alt Prompt: Seizure + Day 3: Like a record, baby: Vertigo

Characters: Generic (whumpee + caretaker + medic)

Warnings: None, appart from a breif mention of nausea.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

“Whumpee? Whumpee, can you hear me, love?”

Everything was sore and Whumpee groaned. Their head was pillowed on something soft, yet the rest of their body was lying on the hard floor. Caretaker’s capable hands were carding through their hair, and despite all the pain and the unknowns, they relaxed into the sensation.

“They're coming back,” Medic said somewhere above them, and Whumpee recognised their hand clutched around their wrist. “You ok, Whumpee?”

Whumpee groaned again and cracked their eyes open.

They was lying on the floor, curled on their side. All they could see from their vantage point was the bottom of the bookshelves, Medic's knees as they crouched in front of their prone body, and their own hand curled in front of them. Their other hand was resting in Medic's lap, Medic's fingers over Whumpee's pulse point.

They attempted to move their head to locate Caretaker, but shut their eyes against the barrel of vertigo that hit them. They moaned and curled further in on themself.

“Dizzy?” Medic asked. Whumpee grunted an affirmative; nodding was not an attractive idea.

At least Caretaker’s hand in their hair was a welcome distraction.

“First aid kits still under the sink, right?” Medic asked Caretaker, and Whumpee heard Caretaker's affirmative before Medic stood to retrieve it.

“Let’s get you sitting up, love,” Caretaker said softly. “Come on, you can lean against me. Up you come.”

With Caretaker's hands under their armpits, they helped Whumpee up into a reclined sitting position. Even with their eyes closed, the vertigo made itself known, it was as if they were on board a ship on rough waves.

They were pulled between Caretaker’s legs, their head against Caretaker's chest, cradled in their arms. They relaxed against them and let them take the entirety of their weight.

“What happened?” Whumpee grumbled. They kept their eyelids pressed firmly together; opening their eyes would do no good for their stomach.

“You had another seizure,” Caretaker provided. They rubbed up and down the side of Whumpee’s arm in a comforting gesture and pressed a kiss into their hair. “You might have hit your head on the floor as you went down.”

Whumpee groaned again. “Hurts.”

“Your head?” Caretaker began to run gentle fingertips through Whumpee's hair, stopping only when Whumpee winced. “Ah. You’ve got a little bump.”

“And perhaps a concussion,” Medic added as they re-entered the room, presumably with the first aid kit, but Whumpee didn’t want to risk opening their eyes to find out.

The air stirred as Medic crouched down in front of Whumpee. They heard a zipper being pulled and rummaging in the kit, then a click and a burst of light that made the insides of Whumpee’s eyelids glow red. “You’re gonna have to open your eyes, Whumpee. I’m sorry, but I need to check your pupils.”

Whumpee cautiously opened their eyes as if preparing to squint into the sun.

The light burned, and it took all of Whumpee’s willpower to not cringe away from it. They forced themselves to look into Medic's face as they brought the light into their eyes and away again in brisk movements. Whumpee must have made a noise of discomfort, for Caretaker had begun to shush them softly.

“A mild concussion,” Medic reported finally, clicking the torch off again. “You should be alright, but I’d recommend bedrest for the rest of the day. No falling asleep, though. Caretaker, you’ll have to stay with them.”

“Of course,” Caretaker said readily, and Whumpee couldn’t help the affectionate smile that leaked out behind the pain.

With help from both Medic and Caretaker, Whumpee stood on two feet, though it felt like they were falling. They gasped, despite the two strong presences at his sides holding them up.

“Can you walk?” Caretaker asked.

Whumpee shook their head, an action that had them pressing their lips together against the sudden wave of nausea it elicited.

“All right,” Caretaker said soothingly. Slowly, ever so slowly to avoid upsetting Whumpee's head any further, they lifted them into their arms and cradled them to their chest.

It wasn’t long before they were placed gently on the bed, and Whumpee let out a sigh of relief as they were enveloped by soft pillows and plush blankets.

Distantly, they registered Medic's farewell pat on the arm, and then Whumpee and Caretaker were alone.

They felt the mattress dip beside them, and they reached their hand out blindly. Caretaker tangled their fingers together.

“Here,” they felt the nudge of two pills against their lips, which they parted to let Caretaker place on their tongue. They swallowed them both dry; they had gotten quite good at that recently. “No going to sleep, remember?”

“I know,” Whumpee grumbled. They wished they could sleep off the remaining symptoms, but it was not to be. “You’ll stay with me though?”

They heard the smile in Caretaker’s voice. “Of course. For as long as you need.”

[soysaucevictim]

It's a bit above pay grade (more emotional bandwidth than intellectual understanding).

But been talking abt the age old fandom scenario abt Virgil and anxiety medication. And how there's nuances there depending on which class of medication we're talking about.

Like - talk therapies and serotonergics like SSRIs are better for folks who have more constant/chronic anxiety. And the way they work tends to take months/years to fully become effective (because they're giving your brain some building blocks to make healthier bridges with, aiming to slowly tame your anxiety to becoming more appropriate and manageable).

Benzos are extremely fast acting and potent - and are best used extremely short term and on an as needed basis (i.e. someone w/ acrophobia NEEDING to get on a flight for some reason, kinda deal; tho ideally they should be working on other strategies over time to not need the benzos forever). They're very appropriate for acute episodes of anxiety/panic.

But one of the main risks they pose is addiction, because the withdrawal symptoms can render them completely copeless. And this ramble got me thinking abt an intense what if, "What if c!Thomas is experiencing benzo (or other substance filling that specific need, w/ similar drawbacks) withdrawal? What would Virgil and the others be like?"

[bbyboybucket]

One thing I love about psych and neurology is having that “oh holy shit” moment about what I learn and being able to apply it to myself. Like damn, education AND getting to understand myself, a damn 2 for 1 deal

[s-nnoh]

[jt1674]

[thethingything]

trying to work out how much pain is normal after having teeth removed because like, we're in less pain than before the surgery, but we are in pain and weirdly the pain was mildest the day after the surgery and then started bothering us more the day after that.

our gums have felt noticeably better each day, but the pain is mostly in our jaw and that pain has been relatively consistent since day 3, and it's kind of like a dull ache in the bone. kind of a combination between migraine pain (but just in our jaw) and feeling like I've been punched in the face. it's mostly on the left side where they pulled out the molar that the dentist tried to remove in May but couldn't because it was too sensitive.

idk if it's just because the roots on that one were really deep and had like, an awkward curved shape and were apparently very close to the nerve, but it does keep making me paranoid that something's wrong even though I know logically your jaw is in fact going to be painful after having a tooth pulled out and we were expecting more pain than this and seem to have gotten relatively lucky with it

[how-much-for-a-whump]

General Hospital (8/28/18 + 9/4/18)

[foxglove-garden]

I wish people would stop saying that wearing sunglasses inside is disrespectful.

Some people wear sunglasses because of anxiety or just comfort.

Some people wear them to hide a lazy eye or other medical condition that makes them self conscious.

Some people wear them to help with symptoms of vision loss or blindness (some blind people still see light to some extent and bright lights can be uncomfortable)

Some people wear sunglasses to help prevent or lessen the severity of migraines, seizures or other neurological issues.

Sometimes people with glasses break their regular pairs and they only have prescription sunglasses as a backup.

Let people wearing sunglasses be. They're not bothering you.

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

going more into detail on that ‘gravity what now’ au because the summary was a bit vague. ‘everything is terrible and ford thinks it’s targeting him’ and ‘the fact that it takes place in researcher ford era is dubious’ and ‘stan and fiddleford are getting along while ford is suffering’

so here’s a collection of events/general things that started happening to our trio sometime after they got to gravity falls:

-ford has traumatizing nightmares about bill, despite never having met him or even been into the cave yet. without going too into detail, these nightmares give him: a fear of sleeping, a fear of darkness, and severe touch aversion. it is also one of two things that starts to erode his relationship with stan, as a result of the latter not taking the nightmares seriously

-ford tries to curb his newfound fear of the dark via exploring the cave behind the waterfall. it doesn’t work, but he does meet the geodites and become fond of them. he visits the waterfall cave often, as nothing in the woods ever seems to follow there

-it takes eight separate tries for stan to believe ford when he says there’s something dangerous in the woods. it only takes the last time because ford came back with undeniable evidence. this is the second thing that damages their relationship

-ford continually witnesses things in the surrounding woods that the other two never do. this is intensely frustrating for him

-on two separate occasions in the woods, ford comes across fiddleford and stan in rather gruesome states. they are both perfectly fine and have no idea what he’s talking about when he gets back to the shack (not actually the shack but y’know). these two events were very real, they just weren’t actually fiddleford or stan

-stan and fiddleford bond over engineering (stan taught himself how to repair cars, we already know about fiddleford’s robot thing). they also cook meals together. they’re having a wonderful time guys

-ford has seen so many some-type-of-creatures that he’s started talking to them and they’ve started talking back

-one of the creatures has started trying to give him words of advice. it doesn’t take because said creature is unsightly and does it while perched on the trio’s roof like a spider

-ford has no healthy coping mechanisms. he doesn’t have time for them and he barely even knows what that word means anymore

-fiddleford gets really good at making various kinds of treats for when ford has especially bad days. he has no idea what’s going on with him, but that doesn’t mean he can’t try to help

-fiddleford was invited to gravity falls first (so quickly he didn’t even get a chance to meet emma-may). stan was invited second

-both the stan twins are going through it in different ways and fiddleford’s just trying to keep the peace

-ford takes in a stray cat. stan doesn’t approve, fiddleford questions it, neither of them are stopping him. feline lifeline

[tony-andonuts]

God I wish I didnt get ostrasised by all but like 4 of my peers because holyfucking shit am I overworked and need a hug

[flameleads]

Strap in, folks. This will be a post on how Roy Mustang uses his flame alchemy: which hands he uses, how much he moves, how much fire he produces, et cetera. This will be image heavy with GIFs. Because of that, I’m putting most of this under a readmore. As a side-note: iIf you want to see how I broke down the science of his alchemy, I’ve got a headcanon post about it here: link.

Let’s get started!

First and foremost, let’s look back to the 2003 anime and Conqueror of Shamballa. We’re going straight to where Roy’s alchemy really shines through for both the audience (us) and those around him: Fullmetal vs Flame.

This is the first transmutation he does when “fighting” with Edward. There’s a bit of a flourish as he flicks his wrist, and he uses three fingers. The result is a large, flashy explosion that sends Edward backwards; after all, Roy doesn’t actually want to use his alchemy on Edward. In fact, Roy generally tries to avoid using his alchemy on other human beings. He almost always uses it adjacent to others, creating explosions to impair the enemy, not kill.

In that episode in particular, Roy is doing one thing that’s worthy of note: he’s using this as a teaching opportunity. It’s a mock battle, so he turns it into a training to teach Edward things he needs to know when fighting. All of his dialogue makes that clear as well when he quotes from The Art of War by Sun Tzu (something he did in the manga as well with this fight and with Lust).

Another note: he makes it dramatic with his taunts and general tone of voice because he also views this as a way to show off what he could do to everyone watching. Flame alchemy is the reason people are afraid of getting on this man’s bad side and why the war in Ishval ended quicker once Fuhrer Bradley issued Order 3066.

The problem with that, as Edward quickly finds out, is that gloves come in pairs. Roy shows that he is capable of using both hands to transmute, and he makes a show of it. He’s just as skilled using his left hand. Three fingers, a bit of a flourish as he flicks his wrist and creates a large and tightly controlled explosion. It’s smaller than the first one due to the distance, and he only wants to destroy the cannon. Nothing else.

And, of course, he’s smirking at this. Someone underestimated him again, and he loves it. He loves showing people that there’s more to him than what they see.

Now, let’s look at another, albeit smaller, transmutation from the 2003 anime:

For those unaware of the context, that piece of paper contained intelligence Roy’s date gathered, and he wanted to ensure no one else got their hands on it. This time, there’s nowhere near as much of a flourish as he raises his right hand, uses three fingers, and creates a small, controlled fire. He’s making a small show out of using his alchemy for this purpose, hence the flourish, but nowhere near as grand as when he fought with Edward.

Again and again, I will emphasize that Roy Mustang is an actor. He’s putting on a show for everyone around him so others don’t see that cunning ambition. He makes his alchemy look dramatic because that’s what he wants other people to see. It’s not just limited to the 2003 anime either.

In the first episode of Brotherhood, Roy goes out to contend with Isaac McDougal, the Freezer Alchemist, head on. With both of these transmutations, Roy puts his entire upper body into it without really needing to, thus putting on a show for the other soldiers watching him. His gestures are dramatic when he only actually needs two or three fingers to make his transmutations happen. He wants others to view him as someone who likes showing off and someone who acts without thinking.

And Hawkeye backs him up. During the first episode, we hear her say, “When will he learn?” She’s reinforcing that belief, and we see her do it again when he faces off with Scar.

Before this moment, Roy does a few things to set the stage:

1. He shoots off his gun to get Scar’s attention. This gives him time to see just how close Scar is to Edward and Alphonse, who are in horrible condition. 2. He confirms that Scar was behind Shou Tucker’s murder. In doing so, he prompts Scar to share some of his motive. 3. He asks Scar why he’s going after State Alchemists in particular. Scar doesn’t give a direct answer to that, instead choosing to tell Roy that if he’s going to interfere, he’ll kill him too.

While he’s doing this, Roy is not wearing his gloves. He knows that getting his gloves wet will make it impossible for him to use his alchemy. As this post mentions, Roy is a war veteran with years of experience as an alchemist. He’s not about to put on his gloves to fight when he can’t use them. That’d be downright foolish.

So, when he puts on one of his gloves after tossing his gun to Hawkeye, it’s yet another show, and it’s a tactical one. This scene has layers to it, and I’ll try and tackle all of them.

Hawkeye instantly knows what he’s about to do when he tosses her his gun, and thus she does one thing: she says his name. Scar didn’t recognize him on sight as a State Alchemist, after all, and they needed to shift his attention off Edward and Alphonse to keep them safe. Roy reinforces that he’s the Flame Alchemist, and he purposefully hams this up to make Scar come at him. He even begins to close the distance between the two of them to encourage Scar to do what he wants.

This transmutation obviously doesn’t happen. He moves forward, stands still, and rubs three fingers together to create a puff of smoke. Scar tries to take him out right then and there, but can’t because of Hawkeye. She backed up Roy without hesitating, and she started shooting with two guns once she had the chance. There was distance between the Elrics and Scar now. Shooting earlier ran the risk of Edward getting hurt more than he already was or killed. No one wanted to risk that.

What we didn’t know when this scene happened is Hawkeye’s deep connection to flame alchemy and Roy Mustang. She may not be an alchemist, but she knows the strengths and weaknesses of Roy’s alchemy, the alchemy her father created. The amount of trust Roy placed in her during this encounter is off the charts.

One last thing: Roy didn’t move his arms much when doing this transmutation. No flourish. No extra dramatics. He kept it simple. There wasn’t a need to make it more complex. When Roy isn’t trying to put on a show, and he’s focused solely on the mission in front of him, he doesn’t move much at all.

Barely flicks his wrist as he transmutes, and he creates a powerful explosion that engulfs part of what appears to be a city. This attack is devastating.

Obviously the circumstances behind him using his alchemy are different in this case. With Lust, he had to rely on using a lighter as ignition. There was also the fact that he was seriously injured and in excruciating pain. Had that last one not been a factor, I doubt he would’ve acted differently. Lust even comments in both the manga and Brotherhood that Roy is calm and focused. Again, he barely moves when unleashing a devastating attack, and he kills a creature that supposedly can’t die.

The only dramatic part of this transmutation was the fact that Roy needed to turn to see his target. That’s it. He started the transmutation as he turned, not giving his enemies enough time to try and strike back. Quick, and he disabled them with ease.

Not a lot of movement on this one either. He only moves his hand to direct his shot while using three fingers. In seconds, he kills the Immortal Soldiers that gave Edward and co. a lot of trouble. These were beings that seemingly couldn’t die, and Roy kills them off while making it look effortless. 

He’s not trying to put on a show. There’s no need for it. He’s in the mindset of ending the fight quickly while only using the necessary amount of force. Every single one of these transmutations have that in common: they’re controlled and precise. His face also makes his purpose clear. In all of those shots, he’s frowning or otherwise keeping a serious expression.

In general, we can assume that if Roy’s using his alchemy to stage a performance of sorts, he’s going to be more dramatic with his movements. If he’s using his alchemy with his focus solely on the fight in front of him, he’s going to limit his movement. There are only three exceptions to this. One takes place in Conqueror of Shamballa while the other two are in Brotherhood during the Promised Day.

Let’s tackle CoS first, specifically with this gifset. In that moment, we have to consider all of the circumstances surrounding it. For starters, Roy cannot see out of his left eye, and he hasn’t used his alchemy in years. He’s a bit out of practice. It takes effort to transmute, hence why he puts almost his entire upper body into it. Alchemy transmutations do take energy to perform. Most of the time, Roy only needs to expend mental energy. But, again, due to the surrounding circumstances, he had to expend physical energy too.

Now, onto the Promised Day. Y’all knows what happens right after the Immortal Soldiers. Envy enters the scene, and they reveal the truth that Roy’s spent the last several months searching for: they were the one to kill his best friend, Maes Hughes.

Up until this specific moment, Roy never uses both hands at once. He might wear both gloves, but he’ll only use one hand to transmute. Using both hands is excessive force, lacking in mercy, and it requires him to spend more time on calculations. He killed a Homunculus and the Immortal Soldiers with one hand already. He’s proven that he doesn’t need both gloves to get the results he wants. This is the only time he ever uses both.

Not only that, but, unlike with his fight with Lust or the Immortal Soldiers, he doesn’t stay still. He’s putting his entire body into doing these transmutations. Is it because he’s trying to put on a show? Trying to emphasize to Envy that their actions had consequences? Showing off just how powerful he is?

The answer is none of the above. What makes his fight with Envy unique is that he’s also vocal during it. He usually only has dialogue during his transmutations if it’s a performance. When he’s focused on his mission, he hardly says a word. With Envy, not only does he get vocal, but he gets nasty with his dialogue. He goes into graphic detail about what he’s doing, doesn’t hold back with his threats, and he lets emotion come through his voice.

Those emotions—all of that grief that he’s kept buried and masked with anger—are what triggers his need to expend physical energy on this fight. He can hardly contain those emotions anymore, and thus he lets them out with his movements and alchemy in tandem. He stops holding back, and he loses complete control. He gives all of himself to this fight.

His hand shakes before he can get that transmutation out. His breathing is heavy. He’s yelling. This is physically straining him because he refuses to hold back for Envy. He wanted to give them the worst punishment possible.

Flame alchemy is complex and difficult to perform. In order to be effective, Roy needs to maintain tight control, account for many factors in his calculations, and he must never use more force than needed. In Ishval, he saw the consequences of using too much force, and he made the conscious decision to never allow himself to go that far again. He doesn’t even use his alchemy that much save for when he needs to. When he does, he keeps himself calm and focused.

Even later during the Promised Day against Father, Roy has that logic going. Look at this gifset from when he has Hawkeye directing his transmutations. During that scene, she has to tell him not to hold back, to not throttle his flames against the most powerful enemy he’s ever faced. Yes, he’s hesitating because he can’t see what he’s doing, but it’s also because he doesn’t ever want to use more force than needed. He’s careful, and he just saw what happened when he lost control.

We can also tell by his facial expression as he transmutes that it hurts. Fuhrer Bradley put his swords through Roy’s hands, so of course it’s going to hurt to move them. He moves as little as possible against Father. He fights through that pain because it’s important, and because Roy Mustang never backs down from a fight unless he’s forced to (i.e. Gluttony).

All right, let’s wrap this up. What have we learned from all of this?

Roy makes a show of using his alchemy for tactical purposes (short and long term).

He can use both hands to perform with alchemy and get the same results. We can safely assume that he’s ambidextrous.

When focused solely on completing the mission, he makes his transmutations quick.

He tries to keep his emotions out of combat.

Most of the time he transmutes, he only really moves his wrists, not his arms like other alchemists. He doesn’t need to do more.

With the exception of his fight with Envy, every transmutation he performs is tightly controlled.

Thanks for reading through my post overanalyzing Roy’s alchemy. This was fun to write, and I hope you like it!

[fruityfroggy]

Wow, my body really hates me today

That bleach be looking mighty tasty rn

[anarchypumpkincowboy]

I need Heinz Doofenshmirtz to build me a seizureinator so that I can inflict these on the wannabe cult leader cause that fucker just fucking scoffed at me when I was trying to get off the floor after having a bad seizure

I want him to have seizures so that I can point and laugh that he now must deal with them too

[caffeinatedopossum]

Suddenly realizing I've had seizures before :0 but this was just the first one where someone who knew what it was was there to witness it (my girlfriend)

That's so cool and definitely not terrifying /s

[mezmer]

Oh also @sewercentipede I have had minor panic attacks on psilo and it was very strange, they felt happy and intense but still very much panicky. Before I would feel a terrible sense of dread!! So I still get riled up but when I do, my heart rate goes up and I just feel intense. It happens less too. I have not had a seizure since I started and I'm going to be recording that intently