#gege is a monster for what he did

[karasukarei]

I love Nanamin a normal amount.

Funeral standee and netprints.

[saeraas]

I read the chapter, and I do feel mixed about the explanation sukuna gave and what it means to the protagonists and certain other things... but, one thing I do like is that from the moment before his death is that he finally was able to be himself, not the strongest. Him being killed by someone stronger removed that concept that applied to him, caused his loneliness and own identity crisis (Geto's question), and the line people had drawn between him and themselves is why he also used Jujutsu as a way to satisfy himself in that Strongest role. At that point, he spoke in that scene from a place of humility, one thing he hasn't felt in years, if ever.

Nanami mentioned where to go if you want to return to the way you are, you go south and if you wish to make yourself anew, go north. He might go south to return to his blue spring, but it's also likely he could go north at this in the crossroads of the afterlife because this is new to him - that he is not the strongest, but he just a human named Satoru Gojo and he died, surrounded by people he loved and with no regrets.

[tojiscrack]

𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐃𝐋𝐄 𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐋

summary: 22.8k words — it’s a change of scenery, change of friends, and even a change of dynamics. you and megumi go through all of middle school together.

notes: popping this one out at 4am where i live. you bitches better be GRATEFUL after begging for this update 0-0 the next update, before anyone asks, is probably going to take even LONGER bc i have to focus on my levi fic. don’t give me that look — that hasn’t been updated since november 😧

tw: swearing (like, once, i believe).

i do not own any of the characters of jjk, i only own the character of y/n and her mother. the other characters belong to gege akutami.

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.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

2014-2015 sixth grade

'the day's nearly over' you reminded yourself over and over again as you walked down the unfamiliar hallways.

they told you that middle school was different, but nobody warned you about how independent you'd have to be from here on out. you found yourself comparing nearly everything to elementary school, which you were comfortably attending not even six weeks ago. you did not think you'd prefer elementary school, especially not with the monster of a teacher that you were blessed with for two years in a row, but when you found that you didn't share every single class of yours with megumi, you grew more and more disappointed.

you only shared four out of the eight classes you had in a day with him. it didn't help that you ended up picking theatre and he ended up picking art.

so you found yourself walking down the long hallway and taking the first left where you knew the theatre area was (curtesy of the open days you'd attended during the fifth grade) with the comforting conversation you'd had with your mom before she dropped you off at school in the morning.

during the summer, over on friday night dinner at satoru's place (the usual), it had been vaguely discussed how you and megumi would now be able to walk yourselves to your new school without the suffocating presence of one (or even both) of your parents. the excitement of it all came with the thought of starting an entirely new school, though it faded after the familiarity of your normal routine — where your mothers dropped you off with kisses and lots of smiles — changed completely the second your foot crossed over the line that indicated school grounds.

for the first day, your parents insisted on dropping all of you off (uncle ogi included, even though it was only maki and mai's second year here) and before you could follow your friends past the school gate, your mom had rubbed your back soothingly, as if she knew something you didn't.

you realised what it was now — a big change. though it wasn't entirely unpleasant, you just weren't too used to it.

at the end of the corridor, outside of the theatre hall, you could see people going in and out, movement very clear from where you were standing. however, the closer you got, the two stagnant figures at the end if the hall became more clear to you: a boy about your height and a girl taller than the both of you.

you weren't an eavesdropper (in most circumstances) but here, you could tell that there was some uncomfortable tension surrounding the two of them, so you paid attention as you leaned against the wall. you had time till your lesson started, you figured that you could use the spare time for something juicy.

"sorry, no... i don't really know who you are," the girl spoke, her voice soft as silk as she adjusted the singular strap of her bag over her shoulder.

immediately, you became well aware of what was occurring before you — the guy was asking the girl out. and it seemed that, judging from the girl's delicate response, they had only just met.

expecting the boy to back off and leave, you averted your attention to the display board hanging on the opposite wall, showcasing several plays that the school had their theatre students successfully perform. however, even as you found yourself immersed in the talent that was presented in polaroids and printed images, your ears could not block out the heated argument that the boy had then started.

"i never wanted to be with you anyways," he began, expression feral by the time you'd turned your head to see it. "you're a bitch, and you're never gonna get asked out again. i only did it because i felt sorry for you."

your brows had already knitted themselves together as you watched the boy go on a tangent with his displeasure on getting rejected. you silently examined for the next couple of seconds to see if the girl would defend herself, throw in a few casual responses as well, maybe, but when the slightly busy corridor only echoed the conversations of the ignorant teens walking by as if nothing major was happening, you knew she was too polite to say anything.

he opened his nasty mouth once more — perhaps to spew more venomous lies and pointless insults — but was cut off by your cruel intervention.

"look who's talking, with a mouth like yours, that underbite's making it difficult for me to see if you're a camel or human."

you imitated his underbite, jutting out your bottom teeth in a rather aggressive manner. and you weren't done there — you raised a gentle hand over the girl in a hesitant manner, a silent question as to whether you had permission to touch her. when the girl nodded ever so slightly, you continued with your theatrics.

"go out with me," you cried, underbite still exaggeratively visible. "otherwise no one else will!"

"neanderthal-looking motherfucker," a pretty, dark-haired girl added swiftly. you looked over your shoulder, following the sound of the confident voice. she was standing behind the three of you, apparently attentive to what had been happening before her.

you grinned, turning back to the dumbfounded boy once more. "yeah, clear example of failed evolution, guys."

it seemed that the boy had had enough, turning away and scoffing to himself as he pulled up his loose pants and stomped off, fuming. you half expected smoke to flow out of his ears, surprised when he silently disappeared without commotion.

"i hate guys," the short-haired helper commented casually, eyes still focused on the end of the corridor where he'd last been seen by the three of you.

you nodded. "me too."

"thank you so much," the other girl said with a smile, looking more relieved than ever. her blonde hair, which was already tied back in a low ponytail, was tangled between her pale fingers. maybe it was a nervous tic. "he's in my math class, he tried talking to me there too."

"ugh, forget him, you're literally so gorgeous," the fiercer one of the two girls replied with a sigh. "anyway, are you two here for theatre?"

"oh, no, not me," the other girl responded, her pale cheeks now dusted with a light pink. it had been, no doubt, due to the compliment she received. she shook her head. "i left my bag over here so i had to come back and get it, but i'll see you guys around — i'm kat, short for katie."

"y/n," you introduced yourself with a smile.

"i'm nobara," said the dark haired girl.

the pleasantries and small conversations did not last long, for kat had to run off after a short while, hurriedly explaining to you and nobara that her next lesson was in the complete opposite side of the building. the two of you waved off her apology as she scrambled to secure her bag over her shoulder and run off mid-conversation, reassuring her that she was fine and she had nothing to worry about.

when it was just you and nobara left, and she didn't make a move to leave, you knew she was in the same theatre class.

"i don't swear often," she told you, as the both of you made your way into the theatre hall.

immediately, your vision blanked, unable to see through the complete darkness and lack of light. at first, you almost believed that you made it to the wrong room, but after hearing whispers from your other supposed classmates wondering the same (only aloud) you knew you couldn't have gotten it wrong.

nobara seemed unfazed as she continued her incomplete sentence:

"— but guys really irritate me."

you nodded, and then mentally slapped yourself when you remembered that she couldn't see you — unless she had some weird type of supernatural night vision. you almost laughed at that: if megumi were here, he'd complain about abilities as such being 'not real'.

the lights switched on suddenly, blinding you and the rest of your classmates momentarily. you shut your eyes immediately, face scrunched in distaste at the foolish decision made by whoever had turned the lights on without a simple warning.

by the time you opened your eyes, you found who the culprit was — your (apparently dramatic) and first ever theatre teacher: mr white. he was a lanky old man with a bent posture and thin, rectangle glasses that sat on the bridge of his pointy nose.

"don't let him hear you say that," you muttered with a unsuccessful attempt to hide your smile as he introduced himself with a voice way too loud for this late in the day. "he looks like a scientist."

"he's a theatre teacher," nobara pointed out with a raised brow.

"but he looks like a mad scientist," you continued stubbornly.

nobara regarded you with a look of oddity and for a moment, you were afraid that it'd be a whole new situation where she'd snitch on you for saying such a thing (it had happened back at elementary before; that was a story for another time), but she proved you wrong when her face broke out in a grin, not tight to show that it was forced, and not too expressive to show that it was fake.

"i see it," she agreed with a laugh. "good eye!"

and without even realising it, as the two of you sat together by the cinema-like seats and compared your timetables with one another (you shared six out of eight classes with her!), you had made your first new friend other than megumi.

bonus point: she's a girl!

maybe middle school wasn't so bad. especially not when you and nobara had become mr white's favourite to use as demonstrations for the lesson ("...see? for example, let's say... you, what's your name? y/n? lovely! let's say y/n here had to do a performance. she wouldn't be able to say no even if she hated it because that's professio— huh? you would say no? oh... that's bold. oh, did you day something? what's your name? nobara — okay, well the thing is, you can't just refuse to work with men all the time — no you can't hit them if they tell you that you have to, girls").

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

you let out a gasp of shock when megumi and another pink-haired boy approached you and nobara by the lockers. the final lesson on both of your timetables was physical education, which nobara had audibly expressed that she absolutely detested. you weren't bad at sports at all — in fact, you were rather good at things like gymnastics, basketball and dodgeball if you really tried, but physical education as a lesson?

you never took it seriously.

you were sure that during elementary school, you'd cost your team a game because you completely stood still and examined your nails when one of your teammates wanted to pass the ball to you.

but while nobara's concerns were about the next lesson she was dreading, yours were about the two boys approaching you, particularly the bright-eyed, tall, pink-haired one.

pink hair? you thought to yourself with a grimace. what a weirdo.

you could not find it in yourself to believe that megumi fushiguro, ever the stoic and heartless one, made friends with a (you assumed was friendly) pink-haired guy. your mind had to put extra emphasis on the pink-haired part of his description. surely he hadn't actually wanted to dye his hair pink? surely it must've been an accident that just so happened to have occurred just before the first day of middle school — quite like how you and uncle ogi accidentally dyed one half of mai's hair blue while the other remained pink at some point during fourth grade...

but with the way the boy carried himself, his hands casually resting in his pockets as he walked down the hallway with megumi, an unwavering smile plastered over his gentle face, you were under the assumption that the result of his hair was no accident.

weird.

megumi acknowledged you with raised brows the moment he came within hearing distance of you. he barely acknowledged nobara, whose brows had furrowed in a skeptical manner when it became clear that yes, megumi and his friend were indeed approaching you.

"what's your next class?" said megumi, sounding gloomier than usual. perhaps he'd been having the same thoughts about starting a new school as you had — everyone knew that megumi hated change.

the boy next to him raised a hand and waved. you turned back to your childhood friend with narrowed eyes.

"first of all, it's p.e," you said hurriedly, the sound of nobara closing her locker echoing around the halls. people were starting to come out of their classes, heading to their next one. "secondly, did you just replace me?"

megumi released a small exhale through his nose to show his disbelief at your question. through half-lidded eyes, he averted his gaze from you to nobara, scowling. it was clear what he was indicating, and you weren't very impressed with his silent words.

"this is nobara and she's actually better than you, so..." you introduced her without even looking at her.

megumi's pink-haired companion spoke up just after you.

"i'm yuji," he said helpfully, the smile still present on his face despite your very loud claim of megumi having betrayed you by apparently 'replacing' you with this yuji.

yuji... the name fit, somehow.

"megumi," the messy-haired boy replied, barely smiling or making an attempt to seem welcoming at all.

nobara leaned in towards you, uncaring of whether the two boys noticed or not.

"he looks like he used to pick his boogers and eat them," she whispered, her chin lifting to gesture at yuji. before you could put your input on that, her gaze shifted back to megumi. "and he looks entitled — didn't even start with 'i'm' or 'my name is'. you're seriously friends with this guy?"

"oh that's just what megumi does. he's just angry at life for no reason, you'll get used to it!" you clarified brightly.

megumi did not like that. he raised his pale hand to flick your forehead, and you were so invested in making fun of him, you hadn't realised that he was aiming to do it until you felt the harsh sting of the attack just after he'd dropped his hand back to his side.

"ouch!" you hissed, rubbing your forehead and glaring at him. "why did you do that porcupine? i was gonna introduce myself to yuji!"

"don't bother," he responded, teeth gritted as your loose tongue slipped out the embarrassing nickname you'd made for him. "already told him your name —"

"porcupine?" repeated yuji, only further agitating megumi, who had a clenched jaw now. he faced up at your mutual friend — yuji was about the same height as you, and megumi had grown slightly over the summer so it grew a little more difficult to be able to see the the entire surface area of his messy hair as easily as you once used to. but yuji had decided that he'd seen enough when he let out a boisterous laugh. "hey, i see it! you look like a porcupine!"

as you and nobara laughed at the expression on megumi's face, yuji continued to explain what he'd meant, even as megumi glared at him with enough intensity to potentially kill.

"'cause... 'cause your hair —"

"i get it," he snapped, effectively ending the open-day-on-megumi-fushiguro.

"i like you y/n," said yuji, shortly after.

you beamed. "i like me too!"

megumi watched the interaction before him, his mind immediately figuring out a way to piss you off the same way you managed to piss him off. after knowing you for so long, and going through thick and thin with each other, it wasn't hard for megumi to plunge his hand into the pit in his mind where his witty responses remained, and pull something out to at least render you the slightest bit speechless (his record timing of keeping you silent with embarrassment had been five seconds).

"so do we all have p.e then?" nobara questioned, seemingly accepting the fact that megumi and yuji were going to be with you for the rest of your time here at middle school. it didn't mean that she was necessarily pleased, however, but she did like you and would remain friends with you even if it meant having to be around the two boys.

"yeah, but we're not in the same classes," you said, defeated. "nobara and i are though!"

"are we in their class?" yuji cluelessly asked megumi.

the aloof boy shrugged. "i don't know, ask the mermaid."

time stopped for you.

"the mermaid?" both yuji and nobara repeated with confusion.

there was ringing in both your ears, forcing you to grow less and less attentive of the bewilderment surrounding your two new friends. something in your stomach was wiggling, encouraging you to bend over and release the contents of that morning's breakfast down, eyes narrowing to prevent it all. your jaw had become less tense, slowly dropping to allow your soft lips to form an 'o', your expression softening all the while. your vision grew blurry, not through tears, no, but through the growing heat beneath your skin all over your body. you unknowingly clenched your fists, nails digging into the ends of your palms to form half-moon crescents into your smooth skin.

you had never felt such rage course through your body — your soul, even — in the eleven years of life that you'd been living. it didn't come as a surprise to you that megumi would be the reason, but you'd hoped that out of everything he could have said to anyone in the future, it would be anything but that.

his voice echoed in your mind even though you could clearly see his lips remained unmoving.

'i don't know, ask the mermaid...'

'(...) know, ask the mermaid...'

'ask the mermaid...'

'(...) the mermaid...'

'(...) mermaid...'

mermaid.

the scene before you had flashed before your eyes, the embarrassment you'd felt at the end of the day when you'd later failed to convince everyone that you just so happened to be a mermaid.

the shame brought upon you during the family dinner that week, and how easily it was for everyone to make fun of you when usually, it was always you that managed to poke fun at someone.

"megumi fushiguro," you started slowly, cutting through yuji's random theory about what 'mermaid' could have possibly meant. the traitor you were addressing raised a brow at you expectantly. "how dare you."

before he could open his mouth and retort, (nobara began talking: "what are you— oh!") you stepped forward and pulled his hair, your ultimate move as he gripped your wrist tightly, one eye shut and one eye open in pain. you didn't stop there, raising your leg to kick him in the knee. you shoved him away, dusting yourself off as if you'd touched the dirtiest thing the world had to offer.

he regained his composure easily, glaring at you throughout it all.

"ouch," he said, face straight and firm.

nobara gave him a look of disgust, everyone collectively ignoring yuji's difficulty in standing up straight to stop himself from laughing (megumi slapped his hand off of his shoulder when he attempted to use it as a grip).

you threw your chin in the air with a look of something between victory and annoyance.

"don't embarrass me in front of nobara ever again."

nobara would have laughed at that, but she was too occupied with her absolute discontent towards megumi and his reaction to your attack.

"why are you acting like that didn't hurt?" she demanded fiercely.

megumi shrugged, his hands still planted casually in the pockets of his school pants.

"seriously, how are you friends with this guy?" she then asked you, regarding your moody friend with a look of contempt.

"after this? we're not friends," you declared. but your decision hadn't lasted even five seconds before you stared up at him with disbelief. "megumi, where's your friendship bracelet?"

he looked down at his empty wrist. "i took it off."

"oh — oh, i see how it is," you snapped, taking nobara's hand and stomping away.

the boys watched you walk off, megumi looking exhausted and yuji sporting a wide smile. you were glad nobara did not put up any resistance in being dragged away. in fact, she seemed to be pushing further so she could take the lead instead.

"you'll never — see this face — again!" you called out over your shoulder.

for the brief moment you caught each other's gazes, you were submerged in a moment of betrayal when he did not seem the slightest bit upset. megumi merely stared back at you, deadpanned, the further you walked.

"we're going the same way," he brutally commented.

you hated that he was always right. would it kill him to be wrong just for a bit? if only to save yourself from the embarrassment once again?

"i know."

you hadn't. you'd forgotten.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

physical education felt like you'd joined the military here in middle school — why hadn't maki warned you of that? though arguably, when you and mai had spoken about starting the school, she'd mentioned how difficult it would be, and how maki was such a loser that she took this course incredibly serious.

you weren't bad at sports at all. in fact, you enjoyed it. the annual family football game meant that you had to enjoy it because it was a necessity — you remembered how mai found it super difficult to keep up with everyone else just because her interests lied elsewhere. winning was very important to you, so you always opted to choose mai last whenever you ended up being captain of your team.

that being said, all of that wouldn't be believable if anyone saw the stance you were taking now at the dodgeball game coach yaga (a broad, angry man with flattened hair and sunglasses who seemed to dislike you the most) had organised for you all.

though your timetables had made it extremely crystal clear that you and nobara were not in the same class as megumi and yuji were for p.e, coach yaga had all the classes merge for the first lesson ever to play one massive round of dodgeball. you were pleased to find that the four of you were all on the same team, though the coach began to slowly regret his choice, particularly when the first round had started and he'd finally, properly met you, y/n l/n.

the second his whistle went off, every single person in your team (and the one across you) dashed forward to grab at the balls lined in the centre of the field. everyone except from you.

see, you had stayed back and admired the grass beneath your sneakers, fond at how vibrant the green was. the coach was shouting at someone, and perhaps you should have paid attention to who, especially when you saw him glaring in your direction. you looked back, as if trying to see if he was shouting at someone behind you, only to be met with the empty air of space. you turned, raising your brows as you placed your pointer finger on your chest and mouthed a startled 'me?'.

"YES, YOU!" he'd bellowed, arms outstretched in disbelief. "WHO ELSE?"

you looked around, indeed trying to find who else and only growing distracted with how impressed you were at yuji's speed since he'd been the first out of both teams to reach the line of balls and take them.

"go yuji!" you cheered joyfully. "i've got your back —" you announced proudly, and when you tried moving forward to help, a ball missed you by two inches. you stepped back again. "... from right here!"

"what the hell are you, a cheerleader?" coach yaga demanded. "GET ON THE FIELD!"

"i am!" you argued back, gesturing to where you were standing which, indeed, was on the field.

you were growing very frustrated with whoever this damn coach was. the first time he'd yelled at you, you let it slide. now, however, you were starting to get annoyed.

"GET ON THE —" he started, turning away and sighing when two of your teammates had been hit below the waist. "YOU — WHAT'S YOUR NAME?"

oh this is bad, you thought to yourself in fear. the very last thing you needed was a phone call home to your mom on your literal first day of a whole new school. you did not want a repeat of elementary school, but you could see the way coach yaga was glaring at you. it was almost similar to the way mrs davis — your fifth grade teacher — would stare at you: a menacing expression, made to intimidate you, no doubt.

you looked around, trying to formulate a plan in your head. the smartest idea was most likely to simply participate, but with how serious everyone seemed (some blonde dude from the other team literally screamed at another guy for not catching the ball) you had no desire to be apart of it all.

you turned back to coach yaga when he continued to demand your name.

"it's — it's megumi," you lied, mindful of the fact that megumi was at the front of the field, participating with such ease — the importance of that was to make sure that he hadn't heard you: he'd definitely tell the coach the truth instead (especially because your lie was at his expense).

the coach seemed skeptical, raising a brow at you and pushing his sunglasses further up the bridge of his nose. you noticed how his hands were slightly more tanned than his face.

"you don't look like a megumi," he said, as he pointed at another student to silently tell them that they were out.

you did not know what to do then. how else were you supposed to convince him that your name was megumi? perhaps you could grow defensive... make him feel guilty for criticising your fake-name? no, you thought wisely, that would attract attention from megumi.

but it seemed that for the first time ever, luck was on your side — for coach yaga had grumbled under his breath, and through the loud yells of your fellow classmates, you heard each and every word he uttered.

"but i remember a megumi from the register..." he looked up at you again. "right. go and help your team!"

your head slowly turned to your fellow teammates, all of whom were working diligently to secure themselves a win. you drew back — dodgeball is never that serious. they were acting like their lives were on the line.

"um — i'm fine over here, actually," you giggled, muttering out a small 'ooh' whilst also flinching at the sight of nobara purposely aiming for that same tall, angry dude on the other team; she managed to hit him successfully.

"that wasn't an option," he spoke, his voice growing in volume with each word, until finally... "GO HELP YOUR TEAM, MEGUMI!"

megumi, who had quite literally just done exactly that by managing to take out the most competitive player of the other team, turned his head at the scolding he'd apparently received.

you had to hold back a laugh, puffing out your cheeks with the breath of air you'd held in to help with that. you were somewhat grateful for yaga's glasses as they made it difficult to see who he was looking at.

megumi, confused at the random scolding he received (one he firmly believed he did not deserve when that blonde girl on his left could barely throw at a proper distance), straightened up and turned his attention back to the game, catching a ball that had been thrown at him and ultimately leaving said-thrower out of the game.

meanwhile, you actually took several tentative steps forward, noticing a ball rolling at your feet. bending down, you picked it up and examined it for a moment. you raised it high, ready to throw it...

— to your teammate because you had no actual intention of participating in this inhumane sport ever.

coach yaga clearly did not like that:

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, MEGUMI?"

the actual megumi turned his head to glare at the coach, who looked extremely irate. megumi did not understand — what was he doing wrong? why on earth was this man distracting him from playing for his team? was he purposely being biased, distracting him for no reason to allow the other team to secure a win?

he was growing angrier for every second yaga continued to scold him for doing the exact thing he kept saying megumi wasn't doing: catching the ball? he'd done it thrice. throwing the ball? he just did. participating? what the hell was he doing the entire game then, if not participating?

all the while, you had to turn away and place a hand over your mouth, your chest heaving every time coach yaga yelled at you and referred to you as megumi. it only grew more difficult to hold back a laugh, particularly when megumi would stand up and glare at the coach.

you somehow ended up in the middle of your team's side of the field, which was not what you wanted at all. but before you could turn and walk back to what you claimed as your designated spot at the very back of the field, you noticed your shoelace untied.

"oh!" you said, hearing coach yaga yell 'your' name as you bent down to tie your laces together again.

unbeknownst to you, when you'd ducked to do your laces, a ball had been thrown, and while it was meant for you, your action had allowed it to fly over you and hit another player who just so happened to have been standing behind you.

that must've been it for coach yaga, because at that time, he'd yelled at you louder than you'd ever heard him do so in the past fifteen minutes.

"MEGUMI, WHY DIDN'T YOU CATCH THAT BALL?" he bellowed, his grip on his whistle tightening so much, you could see his veins bulging. "YOU COST YOUR TEAM A PLAYER!"

the look on megumi's face was outrageous: his brows were furrowed so much that some of his forehead (that was usually mostly concealed by his fluffy hair) was slowly starting to show as he swiped a warm hand across his face in both exhaustion and irritation. he was now under the impression that coach yaga either picked on him for the sake of it, or that he was simply blind. it would explain the sunglasses he wore indoors.

megumi then unconsciously came up with the counterargument that satoru did the same, though he easily countered it with the fact that the white-haired male was simply foolish and incompetent.

megumi truly believed that, unlike satoru, yaga wasn't foolish or incompetent. he liked his strict nature. initially.

now, however, megumi was slowly growing to hate the man for spewing up lies about things that megumi had apparently done (when did he run away from an incoming ball?).

so being accused of costing a team a player when he'd indeed caught a ball and gave the team back a player was where he had to put his foot down. enough was enough.

"i didn't!" he snapped, yaga's head tilting and brows furrowing menacingly. megumi could have sworn that he also looked challenged, in a sense.

yaga let out a noise, something between a scoff and a gasp. he seemed almost confused.

"who are you, boy?"

megumi glowered. "megumi."

you watched the conversation playing out before you, watched as someone caught a ball that had been flying towards megumi's distracted figure, watched as yuji apologised to a girl he'd taken out of the game, watched as your plan deteriorated before you.

you had two options:

you could go ahead and distract coach yaga, turn his attention back to you and make him completely forget that a random, angry boy just lied about his name being yours... or, you could stand back and enjoy the show. after all, it was rather amusing, and you didn't actually believe that your lie could be held out for so long (though you were surprised with how much megumi had tolerated).

you chose the latter. it was fun.

"oh so you're the new class clown, are you?" said coach yaga, and you nearly choked on your own laughter when you saw megumi's offended expression. "nice try — megumi's a girl name."

oh, you thought with amusement. he pulled the perfect card; you watched as megumi's expression had softened (still glowering, always) and spoke under his breath.

"not a girl's name..."

"you trying to be funny, boy?" coach yaga continued brutally. he unfolded his arms. "you're not megumi. she is!"

your cover had been blown: megumi's head turned, leisurely, slowly, almost as if he was hoping, praying to the lord above, that 'she' wasn't who he thought it was.

but when his gaze met yours and found the amusement dancing around your features as you crouched to poorly hide your laughter, he knew his prayers had been dismissed.

of course. why did he even care to believe in hope at this point?

megumi might have been having the worst day of his life, but you were experiencing your best. it wasn't even coach yaga's exclamations that had you reeling (though it was a good contributing factor) it was megumi's realisation, the scowl on his face, the deadpanned look he sent as he sighed loudly, so much so that it almost sounded like a drawn out groan. there wasn't even a point in hiding your laughter from both him and coach yaga anymore, it was clear as day that you were enjoying every bit of this.

megumi was angry.

"i'm megumi," he informed coach yaga. "not her."

coach yaga didn't take that lightly.

"you — megumi is not your name, boy, what are you yapping about?" he demanded, almost growing. he reminded you of that one scene from your favourite anime 'attack on titan' where the teacher — keith shadis — yells at his students, face contorted to form an expression that looked rather funny to you.

"megumi is my name," your angry friend responded, side-stepping away from a ball that had been thrown at him. he glared at you. "that was your fault."

you raised a brow. "how? you dodged it."

he ignored you, choosing to glower at coach yaga instead.

"her name is y/n."

"the hell?"

you thought it was the perfect chance to confuse him even further. you called out to the coach from your favourite position at the back.

"no, no, he's right!" you informed him loudly. "he's megumi!"

coach yaga stared at you, positively startled. "what —"

"yeah, he's not lying! his name is megumi!"

coach yaga pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed loudly. you waited patiently for him to look up, and eventually, when he did, he took his sunglasses off to finally address you, bare eyed and all.

you raised your brows in surprised anticipation.

"right — megumi — y/n — whatever the hell your name is — GET OVER HERE!"

you jumped, turning away and skipping forwards.

"erm — no thanks! i'll just start playing now!"

and true to your word, despite his loud protests (and how very verbal they were), you intercepted and caught a ball, saving a distracted girl on your team, and allowing one of your defeated teammates to return back to the field.

you beamed, waving the ball over your head at yaga.

"see? i did it!"

but you frowned at the sight of a particular player returning to the field due to your impeccable catch. you remembered him to be the random voice yelling at you to 'catch the ball!' or 'help us!'. how ironic.

"um — no, i don't want you back in the game," you said, walking up to him and pointing at the line of players that were out. "not after you shouted at me — don't look at me like that — it's my catch! you can be back in the game," you added to another player.

coach yaga screamed at you from in between the two lines of defeated players.

"YOU DON'T GET TO DECIDE THAT!"

you averted your gaze from your classmate to the coach, slowly regarding him with a look of something in between disbelief and annoyance. you repressed the urge to scoff at him. what ridiculous rules he had made. you didn't remember dodgeball being this strict.

"well i think you should change that dumb rule," you told him, holding the ball beneath your pit and resting your weight on your left leg. "anyway, what are you waiting for?" you asked the other boy you wanted back on your team. "go!"

he was a stammering mess, gesturing from coach yaga to the field, muttering something about 'but i don't think i'm allowed to' or something along those lines. you were growing more impatient with every stutter, with every stammer, with every bit of hesitation.

sighing, you turned to the player that was actually meant to be back in the game, and gestured behind you at the field.

"ugh, you just go because he's taking too long and it's making me tired."

it was funny, because despite coach yaga's fury towards you, that boy had only gone and rightfully joined the game after you demanded so. perhaps p.e lessons weren't so bad, what had nobara been complaining about back when you had a conversation about sports by her locker? p.e was fantastic.

until your ears began to ring again. coach yaga had turned a deep shade of burgundy.

"HEY, THAT'S IT!" he bellowed, and to your complete surprise (and fear), he began stomping forward, making a move for you despite the game continuing.

you squeaked, dropping the ball and running away, unaware of the chaos that had ensued after the referee left his position. you noticed how several players from both teams thought it'd be wise to run back on the field, playing as though they had not quite literally cheated due to the coach's distraction. the thought would have made you laugh had you not been running for your life.

you looked over your shoulder and nearly fell over when someone from the opposing team had recklessly thrown a ball in your team's direction, only for it to hit coach yaga on his thigh.

you stopped, eyes darting over to the culprit who turned out to be a very tall, lanky, brunette kid. his eyes had turned as wide as saucers at the realisation of the gravity of what he'd done. you turned back to coach yaga, shaking your head at him.

"sir you're out," you alerted him helpfully.

you hadn't noticed yuji hovering over your shoulder, megumi standing idly beside him and nobara observing with poorly contained amusement.

"she's right y'know," you heard yuji comment to megumi lowly, but you knew that if you had been able to hear it, coach yaga had definitely heard it too. "he is out —"

you thought you made coach yaga absolutely lose it when he made his move towards you, walking through the ongoing game because he'd just about had it, but you did not know that there was more patience left in him to narrow, not until he stood before you now, fingers half curled inwards and hovering over his own head. you would've assumed that he was going to rip his own hair out, but then you noticed how he didn't really have any to do so.

it was when he started visibly vibrating on the spot, and practically acting feral with untamed indignation, did you fully realise the extent of just how short this man's temper was.

a noise bubbled out of his throat, something akin to a howl. you snorted.

"wait — why's he glitching?" you laughed, watching the odd scene unfold before you.

"oh — he's spazzing out," said yuji, sounding almost concerned despite speaking with a curious air of thoughtfulness.

"men," sighed nobara, eyeing coach yaga critically.

megumi observed his teacher, unbothered. "she broke our teacher."

"i did not break him!" you snapped, but then noticed something that made you clap excitedly. "megumi! he's growling like bear from masha and the bear!" you chortled loudly, slapping away his hand that had extended past yuji to pinch at your arm.

"you couldn't have stopped yourself?" said megumi, eyes half-lidded and seeming slightly bored, not nearly as interested in coach yaga's odd actions as much as everyone else.

you frowned. "huh —"

"it's the first day."

"i know that," you said brightly. "what's your point?"

megumi walked away from you, muttering something under his breath.

it didn't take long before everyone lost interest in the dodgeball game at hand and became more fascinated with the way coach yaga ordered you to get off the playing field and face the other way, apparently in a middle-school version of time out. you scowled. a school for 'big kids', they said. they'll treat you like 'adults', they said.

what lies.

after the twenty minutes of the first round was up, he sent you back on the field with your team, but not before borderline threatening you.

"hey — you," he said, once you'd excitedly waved at nobara. you looked up at him, curious. "you better fix up, or else."

"or else what?"

"or else."

you tilted your head when he left it at that, opting to stare at you in some weird method that was made to, no doubt, intimidate you.

"i don't get it. or else what?"

he groaned loudly. "don't make me shout. get on the field and participate."

you definitely did one of the two things: you stepped out on the field and joined your old friend (and your two new friends) and chatted their ears off with enthusiasm. but as for the latter...

you still faced issues with obeying that particular order.

dodgeball just was not fun when you were so strict about it, so instead of lingering at the back like you had previously done, you joined nobara and stood behind her for moral support.

"i want to get that guy out," she told you, and while it may have looked like you were both conversing about plans for the game to an outsider, you knew all too well that it would only be nobara who formed a game plan.

you side-stepped a lousily thrown ball when you spotted something from the corner of your eye.

"look, nobara! that cloud looks like a bum!"

"what — OW!"

distracted by your observation, nobara had averted her gaze from the opposing team for a single second before she found herself clutching her eye, bulging in pain due to the ball that had made contact with it.

you gasped. her hand hovered over her injury. coach yaga yelled at you furiously.

nobara had to sit out for the rest of the round, a bag of frozen peas pressed against her eye as she lazily slouched on the chair. you scolded the attacker, ignoring the way coach yaga scolded you.

"stop shouting at him when it was your fault!"

"okay okay," you scowled, walking backwards without keeping your eyes off of the coach, your back meeting the side of a warm body.

you turned, startled when yuji's pink hair brushed your cheek.

"oh, careful!" he said, helping you stand properly. he looked over your shoulder, flinching when nobara glared at him simply for meeting her gaze. "damn, nobara seems pissed."

"yeah, it's all that guy's fault," you said, pointing at the boy who had thrown the ball at her.

"wasn't it your fault?" said yuji, frowning at you.

your gaze hardened rapidly. whose side was he on? yours, or that random dude that had the ugliest smirk you had ever seen and was the actual reason nobara was benched for this round? you liked yuji, but you were very disappointed with him now.

"i didn't throw the ball at her."

"yeah but you distracted her —"

you screamed, grabbing yuji by his skinny arms and pulling him in front of you to use him as a human shield. he was surprisingly easy to manoeuvre, moving in the exact direction you had intended with no difficulty whatsoever. half a second later, he had let out a pained groan when the incoming ball met his abdomen just below his waist.

coach yaga blew his whistle.

"you poor kid, you're out," he shouted over the cheers of the other team.

yuji looked at you over his shoulder, incensed and desperate. you let go of his arms and released a long breath.

"heh — erm — thanks for your sacrifice, yuji."

"seriously?" he demanded. "that's what you say after you get me out?"

"sorry, it was every man for himself!" you reasoned with a helpless shrug.

"one of us is a man," he grumbled, making his way towards the line of players that were out.

you waved at him, turning around and then stumbling backwards when megumi's neck had been mere inches from your own face.

"oh — porcupine —"

"don't."

"you scared me!"

he glared at you. "stay away from me."

well that wasn't very nice. megumi never ever expressed his love for you or how you were the greatest friend in the world, which you were used to, that had never been a problem. he definitely insulted you here and there (often) but he gave as good as he got. however, never had he ever said something as rude as that with very little context.

you were not impressed.

"that's rude," you stated with a huff.

"you got those two sent out," he said, quick as a flash. "that's rude."

you rolled your eyes at him. "that's not even true," you said, before pushing his shoulder with yours to walk away from him, only to turn back and add something else. "and i don't even want to stay with you anyway."

"good."

"good!"

"oi, the two megumis!" yelled coach yaga.

the two of you simultaneously looked at the coach. megumi grumbled.

"GET ON WITH IT!"

your ex-friend's head turned to face you once more, and you watched as he scowled at you, his jaw tense and nostrils flaring.

"get away from me," he ordered you coldly.

you raised a brow at him, critical and incredulous.

"no," you said, disbelief hanging onto the single syllable. "it's a free country!"

"i was here first," he responded quickly, with all the passion and excuse of a bratty child.

"yeah well guess what porcupine? i don't care."

"you should. you're gonna get me out somehow."

"whatever," you said, before turning to walk away.

but then you hurriedly turned back, wanting to address something very quickly. megumi had already shaped the rest of his body in a competitive stance, knees bent and arms extended. his brows were furrowed, eyeing the opposing team almost menacingly, though he looked more focused and concentrated than he did angry. he barely moved his head to look at you when you spoke again.

"oh, and by the way," you stated, pointer finger raised to emphasise your statement, "i'm only walking away because i want to. not because you told me to, so..."

"i don't care," he'd said, just as you'd turned your back to him for the nth time within a single minute.

but history showed that the two of you always fought for the last word and you would definitely not lose your two-year-long streak over some stupid dodgeball game.

so you spun on the spot again, ignoring the menacing look he'd sent you.

"i don't want to stand next to you anyways. i'll stand next to someone who actually wears the friendship bracelet i give them —"

you walked off (for real this time) just as megumi stood up straight and yelled after you.

"i had to take a shower!"

"for what?" you demanded, choosing to walk backwards this time so you could continue walking and talking. "you come out looking scruffy anyw— look out!"

he barely budged when the ball hit his leg, seemingly accepting his cruel fate. you froze when he sent you the stink eye, sheepishly shrugging when coach yaga's whistle cut through the tense silence.

"megumi number two, you're out!"

megumi stood completely still, shoulders drooped and eyelids heavy. you thought he looked like uncle ogi when he sat in his special arm chair and simply contemplated his life. it would have been funny if not for the harsh circumstances. megumi only looked up to address the coach.

"it's just megumi —"

"okay just megumi — GET OFF THE FIELD!"

and as he did just that, you did not miss the small 'stupid mermaid' he muttered to himself.

the slightest tinge of guilt that slyly crawled its way into your stomach and sat there comfortably like a turtle in its shell had been fought off by your immune system the second you'd heard him curse you with that stupid nickname. you didn't feel bad about the loss of that dumb porcupine from your team. he barely brought anything to the table to begin with: excitement? he had no humour. personality? he was boring. style? look at his hair.

the next ten minutes of the game had you almost pleasantly surprised: the majority of your team found themselves standing in the line of defeated players, simply observing, watching and waiting for some warrior to come in and catch a ball for them (seeing as you certainly would not). it had become so frequent, so consistent that everyone but you would somehow get hit by the ball, that the rest of the game was barely dodgeball — it was a waiting game.

they were waiting on you.

to either pick up the ball and throw it, or catch the next ball flying at you.

you did neither.

and because you'd done neither, all the balls had ended up on your end of the field, meaning that members of the other team had to wait until you decided to throw a few back.

but really, you spent your time apologising to yuji. you had attempted to do so before, but the other team rudely interrupted you by trying to bombard you with multiple balls. now that all of them were on your court, they wouldn't be able to attack you.

"listen yuji," you said, for (probably about) the fifth time, "i am so sorry for using you as a human shield and then saying that it's every man for themselves —"

when you thought that you would not get distracted by the other team, you had forgotten that the biggest distraction of all could enter both courts: coach yaga.

"OI, PICK UP THE BALL, AND THROW IT —"

"— wait, i'm not done yet!" you snapped, throwing the coach a dirty look before softening your expression to address a bored yuji once again. "where was i? oh yeah! i didn't mean to use you as a human shield, i just don't like to be hit by things. so i'm sorry i got you out, okay? and —"

"— YOUR TIME IS RUNNING OUT  —"

"— and!" you continued over the loud voice that belonged to the bear that just so happened to be your coach, "— i regret it so much. i'm sorry, yuji."

"what about me?" said megumi.

you looked at him, eyes narrowed and head tilted.

"only friends get apologies," you told him, gaze darting down to his bare wrist before meeting his dark eyes once more. "and it's not even my fault you got out — i didn't tell you to stare at me, did i? anyways, i'm sorry, yuji."

"IF YOU WERE REALLY SORRY, YOU'D CATCH A BALL AND GET THAT PINK KID BACK IN THE GAME!"

yuji, who had been silently listening to your honest and true apology, had turned his head to look at the coach with a confused and hurt expression. he looked like a kicked puppy.

"pink ki—" he barely finished his sentence before the pout invaded the previous frown he'd been sporting.

"well i can't catch a ball if they're not throwing any, can i?" you said matter-of-factly.

"ALL THE BALLS ARE ON YOUR COURT, THROW THEM THEN!"

nearly every member of your team nodded and agreed. you thought they were a bunch of sheep but said nothing about it. you rolled your eyes and picked up the balls, walking towards the line that separated the two courts and then simply dropped the balls there.

"what the hell are you — WHY ARE YOU GIVING IT TO THEM?"

you turned, one ball under your pit and the other on your free palm.

"i thought you said you wanted me to give it to them and then catch it!"

"NO, YOU CONFUSED CHILD — I SAID TO THROW THEM!"

you dropped all the balls remaining in your hold and then sighed. "this is too hard — OH MY GOD!"

you'd barely been given the time to adjust to the new rules of the game (that you'd never once heard of) before the players on the other team were throwing the balls you had given them at you.

you scowled after you ducked at a ball aiming for your head.

"hey, i gave those to you!"

"yeah, that's the point," a boy with shoulder length hair responded.

you got used to the constant attacks eventually, so much so that you ended up skipping around your end of the field, immune to the constant background distractions and noise (your classmates and coach yaga shouting, nobara was the only one that seemed careless as to whatever the hell you chose to do with your free will) that it almost felt like a dream. it felt liberating to have an entire field to yourself. the rest of the game had gone really well for you: you spent your time cart-wheeling away from the balls thrown, and if you were feeling particularly cheeky in that minute, you'd also do a front aerial.

but where the game had been going splendidly for you, it had been going very poorly for your poor teammates:

"sir can i just replace her?" megumi volunteered, deadpanned and serious.

coach yaga let out a long sigh, though it sounded like it could also be a growl. "no, kid. that's cheating."

megumi looked up at the tall, buff man and glowered at him. "do rules even apply now? look at her —"

you were now trying to convince the blonde girl on the other team to let you teach her how to do the splits.

coach yaga pinched the bridge of his nose hard enough to scar his own aged skin. he blew the whistle after he spent a few minutes contemplating: he finished the game early, and since it was the final class of the day, you all got to go home early.

the class half hated and half loved you for it.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

you had to give it to yuji's gramps, the interior design of his house was wonderful. despite being completely deaf, it seemed that the man's lost sense had contributed to his heightened sight, for you could not find a single thing to critique when you'd stepped inside for the first time. it wasn't massive or big like a typical rich person's mansion, it was decent sized and homey, a cosy place that made your insides feel fuzzy and warm like the vibe you got after drinking hot chocolate in front of your fireplace with megumi and the rest of the family growing up.

you, yuji, megumi and nobara hung around at yuji's often. it was easier to get away with things because of the sole fact that his grandfather simply could not hear and made no effort in trying to either.

on one special occasion, the four of you had cycled over to yuji's place straight after school — though megumi and yuji had to take quick showers as they'd been left sweaty and sticky after participating in p.e. you and nobara never did much during those lessons, so the two of you had been completely fine.

"i told you," said yuji, marching over to where you'd been standing by the kitchen to replace the dead flowers in the beige glass, "grandpa hates roses."

"how would you know?" you said, admiring the fresh roses you'd brought over as nobara and megumi threw your backpacks in the designated corner of the living room. "has he ever communicated that to you?"

yuji raised a brow at you. "he's deaf, not mute."

before you could snap back at your pink-haired friend, who had also shot up in height over your time in the sixth grade, megumi had cut through your conversation with a sharp insult.

"you guys sound like idiots," he commented idly. "and yuji's right: he hates roses."

"roses are pretty, what reason does he have to hate them?" said nobara, easily coming to your defence.

over the following months, nobara had warmed up to both boys — yuji and megumi — even if she claimed that she still disliked them very much. her cold exterior towards them had been hard to break, as yuji would constantly mention at any chance he got, but you were glad it did: you couldn't argue with the idiot boys all on your own.

"porcupine, stop siding with the dumb pink kid," you said. stepping away from the roses and making your way down the narrow hall to yuji's bedroom.

"jokes on you, i'm okay with that name now!" he called out from somewhere behind you.

you could hear megumi complaining straight after. "shut up, why are you so loud?"

"you're such a grandpa, megumi," said nobara.

you hummed in agreement, reaching yuji's tall black door at the end of the narrow, dark hallway, twisting the knob and then inviting yourself in. somehow, megumi had overtaken yuji in the walk to his bedroom. you could see the outline of his scruffy hair from his shadow plastered over the wall. once you strutted in, you made an attempt to slam the door in megumi's face, forcing it shut behind you.

he grunted, kicking the door open and then following in straight after you. you had assumed that that would be the end of it, but proven wrong when you felt the heel of megumi's shoe dig into the dip of your knees from behind.

you stacked as a result.

it was embarrassing, but you stood back up just as quickly as you had stacked, spinning around to glare at your stoic friend who simply shrugged and walked off, his hands in the pockets of his pants looking as uncaring as ever.

yuji's bedroom was rather spacious. his walls were a dark shade of blue with a large-screen television attached to the left. he had a single massive window presenting the back garden (which was also not nearly as big as yours or megumi's, though you thought uncle ogi would like the look of it). his bed was rather unique and not out of the ordinary — for someone as spontaneous as yuji, that is.

because he just couldn't have a normal bed like everyone else, yuji had a ceiling bed, something that megumi and nobara had felt was excessive. you did too, for sure (which explained why you spent most of your time up there the first few times you'd come over to his place).

beneath his ceiling bed was his gaming console and a bunch of other cool technological things you played around with from time to time.

the couch at the centre of the room was where the four of you would lounge whenever you'd watch a movie together. it was also routine for you and yuji to argue over the single bean bag that sat just in front of the couch on the floor.

"let's watch a horror movie!" yuji announced as you and nobara flopped onto the couch with all of your limbs spread out.

megumi scowled at the two of you, harshly grabbing nobara's leg and pulling so he could make space. she yelled at him in response, using your hands (which you willingly offered) to pull herself back up and use it as a grip so she could effectively kick at him with her free leg without the risk of falling.

megumi did not like that at all.

"that's cheating."

"i wasn't aware that there were any rules —" she made an attempt to kick him again, "— to this."

"there are when you have the mermaid helping you —"

you threw the spider-man pillow you'd been leaning on at his face and glared at him even when you successfully hit your target.

"yeah, so when you don't look like a porcupine anymore, you stupid sea urchin —" you started, but were rudely interrupted by the enthusiastic voice that was yuji.

throughout all the arguing and chaos, he had been switching through different types of horror movies to watch. you hadn't noticed with the raging hot anger you felt towards megumi.

"insidious chapter three," he read out, comfortably slacking against the squishy bean bag. "yeah, let's watch that!"

nobara, now forcefully pushed to the side as megumi took the odd and foolish initiative to sit on you in order to make you move, loudly verbalised her agreement.

"heard it's super scary though," she said. "let's do it!"

"i —" you began, finding it difficult to speak with megumi's back pressed against your face. you shuffled and pushed at his stubborn body. "i a-agree!"

megumi pushed his weight further into you. you coughed dramatically.

"megumi-you-stupid-cow-i-can't-breathe!"

"good."

"what —" you gasped, harshly breathing in as much air as possible, "what did you eat today — an elephant?"

he only pushed down harder at that.

yuji joyfully clicked on the movie, quickly scrolling down the description and the short list of actors that would be present. you spent the time forcing megumi off of you, only successful after more than twenty tries (you were oddly certain about it) and then claimed your seat by the arm of the long couch. corner seats were your absolute favourite; there was no particular reason why, just that it felt a lot more comfortable than being sandwiched in between two warm bodies — megumi was also very stiff, you and nobara collectively agreed, so if you were to be stuck in between two people, you wished megumi wouldn't be one out of two of them.

with the space you'd been selfishly raiding now free, curtesy of your movement to the very right of the couch, nobara easily slid next to you, linking your arms and shifting in her seat so she could get more comfortable to the new adjustment. megumi, however, stood before the two of you, glancing at the only other corner seat that had been meant for him.

"move," he told nobara, demanding and with the manners of a seagull.

her nose scrunched up with disgust at his tone. "what? no."

"i don't wanna sit in the corner," megumi complained while you played with yuji's hair: his seat on his beanbag was right against your knees.

"yeah well tough," said nobara, lifting your interlinked arms just enough so megumi could see them. "y/n's my friend."

his brows furrowed as if that had been the dumbest thing he'd ever heard, though you knew all too well that couldn't be true, not when megumi had strongly proven his disagreement with hilary smith from the fifth grade when she claimed that the government had everyone put in schools to become robots in the future. that was a core memory you wouldn't forget.

"she was my friend first," he countered, looking as though nobara's point had been extremely pointless.

you laughed, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear and attempting to look humble.

"guys, guys," you intervened smoothly, "there's enough of me to go around for everyone —"

"yeah guys," yuji added ungraciously, "there's enough of me to go around —"

"nobody's arguing over you," megumi snapped, silencing him momentarily. he opened his mouth to, no doubt, berate him further when you had cut across him, gazing down at yuji with a scowl.

"what are you yapping about?" you asked your pink-haired friend, relishing in the hiss he'd let out when you pulled at his hair, a look of confusion and disbelief on your face. "just do what you do best and find us a movie. you're embarrassing me."

megumi seemed to have given up on the topic entirely, sitting in the only free space and frowning as he did so.

"i did!" yuji argued back, slapping your hand away from his hair and rubbing his scalp with a frown you could not see.

"no you didn't," said megumi, eyeing the tv screen critically. "why are we watching insidious chapter three before we've even watched chapters one and two?"

"because we can, porcupine, stop complaining," you answered swiftly.

"it's dumb," he said impatiently.

nobara sighed irritably. "yuji, just ignore him and put it on."

"already on it!"

but megumi hadn't quite finished his speech:

"that's like watching the fifth harry potter movie without the first," he said, afraid that if he rolled his eyes once more at your stupidity, they'd be stuck to the back of his head for good. "who does that?"

"um — like — everyone?" you replied, encouraging nobara to hit megumi for you. it was difficult to reach him when the two of you were on two different ends of the couch.

he stared at you, dumbfounded with your stubborn response. "what planet are you living on?"

you grinned. "actually, megumi, the only live-able planet that humans can live on is earth so it's not real if i said mars or something," you told him matter-of-factly, and then looked at both nobara and yuji for certainty, your voice low. "...right, guys? i'm right aren't i?"

both of them nodded:

"yeah i think so..."

"yeah..."

"live-able's not a word."

the three of you stared at him wordlessly.

"that's what you got out of that?" you said, voicing all three of your thoughts and cutting through the tense silence.

megumi ignored you, looking back at the tv screen with disdain.

"you guys are stupid, we won't understand anything happening if we skip the first two movies."

"we'll be fine," said yuji, standing up and stretching as he walked over to his mini-fridge beside his console. he looked over his shoulder as he called out to the three of you. "sprite or dr pepper?"

"sprite!"

"dr pepper!"

"water."

...

"you're so boring, porcupine!"

"yeah, who chugs a water during a horror movie?"

"i mean i have a bottle here but i didn't think anyone would actually want it —"

"shut up. all of you. yeah you too, mermaid."

you barely took the time to actually acknowledge what he was saying, barely took the time to realise that he had called you a mermaid, but it didn't matter anyway. whatever his response would be, polite or not, there was no other response you'd give than one that would insult your grumpy friend.

"i'm half convinced that you're really yuji's gramps."

yuji had come around and handed you your requested drinks with a laugh. he flopped down on his beanbag and lifted the remote with his spare hand to click on the triangle to finally play the movie.

"why am i friends with you guys?" megumi sighed, a tick in his jaw as he glared at the tv screen.

"don't be rude," said nobara, and the hiss that megumi had let out during her loud exclamation told you that she must have pinched him too.

"no nobara, this is development!" you clapped excitedly, the intro of the movie playing before the four of you. "it took him years to admit we were friends!"

megumi extended his arm over the back of the couch to tug at your hair. "i never said —"

"— he said it by accident too."

"i don't like this conversation."

nobara nudged your side and used her foot to do the same to yuji.

"he doesn't like the movie, he doesn't like the conversation. what do you like, huh?"

yuji, who had been blissfully unaware of the verbal battle going on behind him, looked over his shoulder and grinned at you. even in the dim lighting, and the flashes of light in curtesy of the film playing before you all, you could see the mischief underlining his toothy grin.

the both of you answered nobara's question at the same time:

"hana."

three out of four of you burst out laughing, struggling to breathe as megumi rested his chin on his left palm and glared intensely at the poor football plushie on the floor of yuji's room. he angrily shoved off nobara's fingers that had curled around his bicep, grumbling to himself as he did so.

"his fated one," you continued, chortling as yuji threw his head back against your knees.

hana was a girl that the four of you had met during your first few social studies classes at the beginning of the academic year. she had been lurking around the four of you for a little while, it seemed odd how she'd also sit on the table in the cafeteria right besides yours and simply stare. she clearly did not seem to mind that she had been caught (except the first three times it happened, and then after that, she'd had no shame).

after a lengthy discussion, one of which came to all sorts of theories, the most meaningful one being that hana was an undercover serial killer out for you all because of the fact that you had literally accused her of it when you'd had enough of being jump-scared by her mere existence, you found out that she was not a serial killer, she did not want to kill you, and she liked megumi fushiguro romantically.

it took a while for it to sink in:

she liked megumi fushiguro.

romantically.

and she was not shy about it at all, announcing that megumi was her 'fated' one in front of the entire class, being the first to offer herself up as a partner to him in paired work, and so much more. your favourite was when she'd introduced herself as 'hana fushiguro'.

but while megumi had disliked this very much, the rest of your little friendship circle revelled in it, wringing it out like orange in juicer.

there had been one golden opportunity that you used to push megumi and hana together. the task had been to create a poster of knowledge about the certain subtopic the class had been studying for the semester. in pairs.

yuji demanded that you be partnered up with him and you nearly obliged, but when you caught sight of a blonde haired, ditzy girl making her way towards an oblivious megumi, you stopped short of yourself and pushed yuji away from you.

"get away from me, pinkie pie," you said, ignoring yuji's 'rude!', waiting and watching as megumi strode towards you with a fierce look in his eyes. you couldn't help but laugh at his cheeks as they slowly turned pink with embarrassment.

you shook your head at him, silently communicating that you would not be his partner even if it meant that you got paired up with malakai, the class emo who always claimed that the 'darkness was consuming' him (and also visibly glitches when he does not get called by his short name - kai).

"y/n," said megumi, and you even dared to believe that he was almost at the point of begging. however, after being friends with the poor boy, you were well aware of his pesky stubborn nature.

still, that had not stopped you from being hopeful.

"maybe if you got on your knees and begged," you started cheekily.

megumi gawked at you, in megumi-fashion, brows furrowed and jaw clenched.

"you sadist."

"actually, i'm a masochist."

"..."

"..."

"that's not what it means —"

"anyways, my partner's nobara so..." you told him honestly, and the dark-haired girl had supported you as you leaned against her table she'd been seated at. "don't leave hana waiting."

megumi sighed irritably, then turned around to lock eyes with yuji, but the traitor had spun away with a too-loud laugh and babbled about how the darkness was actually very amusing as he seated himself next to malakai. megumi's eye twitched. nobody ever partnered up with malakai. it said a lot about how determined his foolish friends were.

and as if his day could not have gotten worse, miss haqq, the teacher, had finally spoken.

"megumi, why are we not partnered up, huh?" she asked, though not unkindly. "who's your partner?"

"y/n's my partner —"

you slammed your hand on the table you'd been leaning on, nobara barely flinched, and then stood up properly.

"lies!" you stated, angrily staring at your unsurprised teacher.

she let out a small breath. "y/n we're not in theatre class right now. and megumi?"

megumi shrugged, glancing at you. you bristled.

"miss he's lying," you said honestly, facing him again to stare at him critically. "who taught you to do that?"

"you," said megumi, as though it were a question even a year old baby could answer.

you stared at him, his answer recycling itself in your mind over and over again, making you become well aware of the comical silence the classroom had been left in.

"well..." you began, unsure of where you were planning on going with this, "you just... admitted... to lying... so..."

"right, megumi, find someone who's freeeee," miss haqq interrupted swiftly, extending the final letter of her sentence in an almost sing-song voice as her eyes darted left and right around the classroom before they stopped short of someone behind him. megumi wanted to die. "ah, hana's not got a partner. there you go, i knew my counting wasn't wrong."

but it hadn't ended there. megumi had, with extremely low spirits, seated himself next to the blonde girl and tried his hardest on discussing merely work-related things, all while praying that her insistent staring and odd statements would cease to exist sooner rather than later. but the universe didn't seem to be on his side. not when she first confessed to him, and certainly not now.

"y'know," hana began, in that low voice of hers she always used when talking to him specifically, "you have really nice eyes."

megumi continued to write on their large a4 sheet. "thanks," he'd said, uncomfortable. "my dad gave them."

you and nobara had been sitting in front of him, respectively working on your own poster when you overheard the awkward conversation taking place behind you. after exchanging a look of amusement with nobara, you turned in your seat to speak to hana seriously.

"i usually fight the toji... he's your father-in-law by the way."

you turned back around before megumi could spew out any nonsense about you. nobara had been gripping onto your lower arm the entire time, trying not to giggle.

you hadn't seen it, but hana beamed at the distraught boy sitting next to her, eyes radiant and bright.

"i know your dad's name now," said hana thoughtfully, and you couldn't help but think that toji would not be happy about that, but she didn't have to know that, did she? she continued to speak as though she was sitting on cloud nine itself. "it's good, i'll be more familiar with him. this must be a sign, your own friend knows... we're fated to be together."

you pinched nobara's thigh, though not had enough to bruise or hurt her. she took your signal with a small nod and leaned over the head of her chair to address the dazed girl behind her. megumi continued to glare.

"y'know it's funny," said nobara, a weird tone to her voice that megumi did not like very much, "'cause just the other day, megumi told me that fate brought you guys together."

hurriedly, nobara returned back to your a4 sheet and began working as though she hadn't just crafted megumi's doom. the two of you quietly laughed together, though it wasn't very discreet. megumi's head ached with every simultaneous shake of your shoulders.

hana was very pleased at nobara's comment, perhaps even more pleased than what you had told her prior to that. she glanced at megumi expectantly. he sighed, his grip on his pencil tightening, showcasing his blue veins.

"look —" he began, but hana had moved her chair closer to his, the loud screech of the legs of her chair against the floor momentarily leaving him deaf.

"i mean... i said the same thing before, but i never said it to you, so you couldn't have known —"

"actually you said it very loudly," interrupted megumi, trying not to sound unkind, though it wasn't very easy when everyone around him told him that he was naturally rude. "and also i never said that."

hana did not break eye contact with him as she sighed, her cheek resting against her palm lazily. megumi felt something weird simmer in his stomach. was that guilt?

it couldn't be: he had kindly rejected hana's advances countless times. it was starting to irk him now. he was only twelve, what did he know about crushes and romance? and it certainly didn't help that the three idiots that were his friends always pushed the notion that he also felt something for hana. he could not express the thought enough: he did not like hana.

"i'm sorry," he said, when it became clear that she would simply sit in silence and watch him carefully. "i don't feel the same way."

but hana merely hummed in what seemed like content. megumi was used to it. she had this thing where any rejection to her advances would go in through one ear and out through the other. so why did he still feel the slightest bit of guilt circling around his tummy?

"well," she began slowly, palm raised up as she gestured over to the two girls sitting in front of her (you and nobara), "that's two out of three of your friends that think we're good together. i just need one more for confirmation —"

"yeah i wouldn't count on it," megumi interrupted swiftly, his eyes slowly travelling over to the darkest corner of the room where yuji had been forced to sit in in order to accommodate malakai's needs. the emo didn't like sitting in the light, apparently.

but he instantly regretted his choice of movement, for yuji had caught his eye, and megumi did not like the way it gleamed with mischief. he regrettably watched as yuji stood up, addressing malakai before doing whatever the hell he planned on doing, no doubt something to do with megumi and hana.

"all right mal— i mean kai," stammered yuji, wary of uttering his full name by accident. the whole point of his speech was to make the emo feel at ease with yuji's disappearance, not to draw more attention to it. "i got something to do, so i'll be back, all right?" he explained with a grin. "the darkness around here isn't really vibing with me anyway —"

"no."

yuji's wrist had been caught by a hand colder than his mini-fridge when he'd attempted to leave. he flinched, looking down at malakai who was gripping onto him for dear life, snarling. if discomfort was an image, it'd be this very sight for yuji.

"you must not leave," said malakai, creating the very scene yuji had been desperate to avoid.

"dude, let go of me," he started, pulling at his arm to free himself of malakai's grip, but it was iron tight, cold, and incredibly strong. "dude —"

"yuji itadori," stated malakai, and yuji felt an icy shiver run down his spine. no one had ever uttered his name with such spleen. it scared him.

but before yuji could do anything else, malakai had bared his teeth at him and hissed. yuji stumbled back, visibly and audibly frightened, making a harsher attempt at getting away from his partner, an attempt that included knocking the entire table down and pushing his chair back to run.

everyone's heads had turned to the back of the classroom.

yuji scowled as malakai made an attempt to hide under the fallen table. the emo did not like attention. how ironic when he behaved like that.

"well now there's no point in moving," the pink-haired boy sighed, grimacing at the emo's weird actions. "i can just say it from here: hey hana!"

she perked up. megumi did not miss the wink she sent him. now looking at malakai's need to isolate himself from everyone, megumi thought a deep part of him understood it. not that he'd ever communicate that to anyone, and certainly not you.

"megumi told me in the locker rooms that your — er — your light basically — er — con— contradicts! — yeah that's the word — his darkness!"

"you mean 'contrasts'," said megumi, scowling.

as all eyes turned to him, particularly the pressing ones belonging to hana, megumi recoiled, ignoring your praise to yuji at catching him out.

"i never said that by the way," he quickly assured hana, but she seemed to be in her own world.

"really?" you added cheekily, "because you knew exactly what yuji meant."

"shut up, mermaid."

"now that's out of line!" you snapped, standing up and pointing a particularly sharp pencil at megumi.

"stop, y/n," said nobara, momentarily snapping you out of your thoughts as you averted your gaze over to her and slowly dropped your arm back to your side. she was right. perhaps a physical argument wasn't exactly wise. but nobara wasn't finished; she held up her scissors. "use this instead!"

you threw the pencil over your shoulder, uncaring of where it landed and joyfully took the sharp pair of scissors nobara had offered you.

megumi shook his head, snapping himself out of his own thoughts and angrily pointing at the movie playing in front of you all, his other hand fiddling with his water bottle just to have something to do with it, feeling hot and bothered.

"can we watch the movie?" he voiced, visibly annoyed.

the three of you decided that your joint discussion about megumi and hana would be put to an end seeing as you made your poor friend go through enough torment for a day. but while megumi assumed that distracting everyone from the topic at hand would be beneficial for himself, to give himself some peace and quiet and free of any and all annoyances, he found that this simply amplified the chatter out of you.

megumi had been correct, which wasn't a surprise at all.

watching the third movie before watching the first two created a lot of confusion, that of which couldn't have been kept inside you. annoyingly enough, you just had to voice it encouraging yuji and nobara to engage with you too:

"hey, who's that guy?" you thought aloud.

"that's her dad, i think," answered nobara thoughtfully. "i think his name is alex."

"no, alex is her brother," said yuji, pointing at the screen. "her dad's name is quinn."

"no it's not!"

"yes it is! isn't it, y/n?"

"no, the dad's name is elise," you said, matter-of-factly.

megumi inwardly groaned. "elise is a girl name. that's not her dad."

"okay, so explain why your name is megumi then?" you shot back at him, accusatory.

he grumbled something under his breath. you took that as a win. but it didn't end there.

not only were the characters confusing to the three of you, the story was too:

"what the hell is the man who can't breathe?" you voiced, curious and also simultaneously angry. "why won't they tell us what happened to him? how the hell are we supposed to know?"

"right?" agreed yuji loudly. "and why's he wearing an oxygen mask?"

"clearly he doesn't know style," tutted nobara, before leaning further more into your side. "why is the demon after them specifically?"

"yeah, what the hell is that about?"

"i have no idea what's going on here."

you perked up brightly. "actually, i do."

yuji turned around and beamed, though you could see the slightly frightened look in his eyes.

"you do?" he asked, hopeful.

you nodded and went off on a tangent explaining the story:

"yeah, so, basically that girl that was on the screen like a few seconds ago — i forgot her name —"

"oh you mean elise?" said nobara.

"no, not her —"

"quinn?" said yuji.

you clicked your fingers at him and nodded. "yeah! yeah, her — so she's looking to find out why the demon killed her in another life, but like, the guy — her dad, right — he's trying to stop her because he knows it'll break her. and you know dave?"

you waited expectantly. yuji and nobara shrugged.

"i don't remember a dave," your pink-haired friend commented, scratching his head while he spoke.

nobara voiced her agreement:

"yeah, i must've missed him."

"well anyways! dave is secretly the demon, so..."

yuji stared at you before looking away and nodding slowly as if he were piecing the entire plot in his head together. nobara pulled out her phone, unlocking it and muttering.

"i think we should fact-check it —"

"no don't fact-check it," you said quickly.

"idiots," grumbled megumi.

the movie progressed, just as your confusion did too.

"why did that guy beg for elise's help again?" said yuji, but only after chugging a large amount of his dr pepper, burping ungracefully after.

"ew, have some shame," snapped nobara, kicking yuji's side and relishing in the yelp he let out. "but yeah, why did that guy beg for elise's help again?"

you shrugged. "i don't know guys, let's ask megumi."

"yeah that's a good idea —"

"oh yeah, megumi —"

"don't ask megumi."

the three of you stared at him. megumi frowned.

"i don't know who said that."

"cut the crap, porcupine," you said, rolling your eyes. he looked away, guilty. "we all know it was the red-faced demon —"

he stared at you once again, deadpanned. "sure."

you ignored him. "anyways, why's the demon after their family, megumi?"

before megumi could answer, yuji cut in:

"it's getting a little scary, y'know... hey megumi, how did elise become a ghost?"

"i —"

nobara poked megumi's side. "hey, did elise kill josh or something? i don't get it."

"that's not —"

"porcupine why's quinn trying to contact her mom? why can't she just call her instead of doing rituals? ... porcupine? porcupine!"

megumi had left the couch to stand by the door, his phone pressed to his ear and his back to the movie.

"mom, can you pick me up?"

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

2015-2016 seventh grade

megumi had been off. distant. unavailable, in a way.

it didn't seem like an issue to everyone else, but you could see it in the way he zoned out off conversations, found interest in next-to-nothing, and not even malakai's advances to nobara made him flinch. to an outsider, it would've seemed like megumi on a bad day (when he was acting grumpier than usual). to you, it seemed like something different and foreign was on his mind.

you didn't press him for information, not when he'd given you a short goodbye just before home-time, acting as though the two of you couldn't have walked together like normal seeing as you lived opposite one another, and not even when he'd seemed extra quiet during the last friday night dinner at satoru's.

he was always a quiet kid, sure, but something was missing, and though you couldn't quite put a finger on it, you knew you weren't overreacting.

in fact, even yuji and nobara agreed with you. apparently, during the training for the school's next football game, megumi had been completely out of it that he had to be benched for the rest of the game — according to yuji.

at the moment, the two of you were sitting together for homeroom. the day had just about started, and though you had been forced to sit at the very front, right across the teacher's desk (apparently you couldn't be trusted to sit elsewhere) you disobediently sat right next to megumi at the back of the classroom, ignoring his look of confusion, the most emotion he'd shown within the past week.

"what're you doing?"

"shut up, porcupine," you hissed, slumping in your seat so you wouldn't get caught. "you'll draw attention!"

"you'll get in trouble," he said blankly.

you grinned lazily. "that's what you said about... eight or nine years ago when i sat next to you in kindergarten, remember?"

megumi seemed almost dazed, as though he were in a dream. he'd been displaying odd emotions for the last week, but you'd never seen him so pliable like now, eyes focused yet unfocused, drawn to you and only you as if everybody else didn't exist. was it something you said? was it something you'd done?

you didn't know how to go about it, so you merely laughed, just as megumi answered your question.

"yeah," he said, frowning slightly.

"and then you weren't just wrong," you continued carelessly. "you were so, so wrong, that we even ended up becoming best friends! you didn't see that coming, did you?"

megumi stared at you. you were too busy wondering why nobara had allowed malakai into the seat next to her, though perhaps she hadn't actually allowed him. it explained why she was voicing to him an array of all types of colourful threats.

you glanced back at megumi, noticing his dark pupils following every movement of yours. you laughed.

"megumi stop staring at me," you chortled, covering your face and finding it difficult to speak and laugh at the same time. your stomach hurt as a result. "stop why do you look possessed! ... okay megumi it's not funny anymore, you're scaring me."

you frowned when he rolled his eyes at you. at least some part of him was still alive. you had an idea to bring back every part of him, even more so when his gaze landed on you once more, his poker-face falling slowly. he almost looked upset.

"so i came to a revelation yesterday," you told him, smiling. "i think the earth's flat."

you glanced at him from the corner of your eye, expecting a major reaction, expecting a number of colourful insults, expecting him, megumi.

all you got was the silence that had been radiating off of him for the entire week. at least you knew for sure that you weren't imagining things: your friend was dealing with something so big, it distracted him from your outrageous declaration.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

the walk home wasn't exactly pleasant either. you did most of the talking, which wasn't completely out of the ordinary, but before all of this unknown drama circulating with megumi, he had the decency to give his input here and there. now, however, it was simply as though you were talking to a brick wall, barely any response to your comments. if you were lucky enough, you'd receive a small grunt or a nod of acknowledgement. but it was fruitless, essentially.

it was almost boring.

you were never bored with megumi. ever.

you had no idea what had him so occupied, but your attempts at conversation had become so dry, you opted to remain silent the rest of the way, adjusting the strap of your bag on your shoulder as you gazed at the houses you passed by, internally questioning and critiquing the exterior design, knowing that mentioning it aloud to megumi would be less exciting than in your head.

the two of you had made it past the traffic lights by this point, now entering the calm scenery that was your neighbourhood. the roads were empty, only occasionally did a few cars make their way through. the sun had only just started to set, still high in the sky, but vibrant enough to blind you with its soft, orange glow. as the two of you reached the end of the road and turned left to where your houses would be after another few minutes of walking, you spotted one of the houses that had been newly sold to a family of four. it seemed that their moving in process was still ongoing, for the van that carried all their boxes was still parked in front of the house.

you had half a mind to go over and introduce yourselves, find some excitement in forcing megumi to do some socialising with you and relishing in the little scowl he'd sport that nobody but you would be able to notice, but megumi had turned and walked the opposite way before you could say anything.

"let's go this way," was all he'd said, knowing you'd follow him questioningly.

and follow him questioningly you did, turning around and demanding answers for why he insisted on taking the long way home instead of the time-efficient way. it was unlike him. but you'd noticed, within this entire week, megumi hadn't really been himself, had he?

the very last thing you wanted to do was pressure him into telling you what parasite he had become victim to. yet, you had no idea how to approach such a serious topic. the two of you had never tested such waters before. everything you'd been through together had been comical, humorous, never once drowning in the sea of weighty situations.

you just weren't made for it (even if megumi looked the part).

"at least carry me if you're gonna make me walk the long way home," you complained loudly.

megumi didn't respond. you watched him with furrowed brows before giving up the amusing act altogether and sighed loudly.

"what's going on?" you asked him, extending an arm to grab at his and half his movements.

the streets were void of any pressing ears. he had no excuse hiding whatever it was for longer.

megumi didn't shrug you off like you expected him to. instead, he stared at you, jaw clenched and brows furrowed.

"you're being weird," you added, when it became quite clear that he wouldn't respond. your hand fell limp at your side again. "i don't like it."

to your surprise, instead of walking off without a second thought, he shrugged. "don't know what you're talking about."

"don't play dumb with me," you said firmly. "yuji told me you got benched."

megumi's brow twitched. he didn't look too pleased about you knowing, it seemed. you felt like you were walking on eggshells. you hated it.

"fine," you said gently, though your expression remained fierce. "don't tell me. but i —"

you let out a small breath, finding difficulty in searching for the right words to use. you were angry at yourself, but also at the education system. schools should focus on training kids on how to approach situations like these, for you'd never felt so clueless in your life.

"i'm — i'm always here," you struggled to spit out, "if you want to talk."

megumi stared at you with an expression you couldn't quite place. of course, it was the usual monotonous look, the standard half-lidded eyes and small scowl, jaw tense which would have made an outsider assume he was angry. but you knew better. even with that odd mask, there was always something lingering behind it: that was his happy face as well as his sad, angry, confused, shocked face.

with that list came a new addition, the one displayed shamelessly before you, though you couldn't quite place what it was. though as much as you wanted to discover this nameless emotion, time was cruel, and megumi had already cut it short by choosing to walk the long way home.

you took a small step back.

"okay now laugh," you said hurriedly.

megumi recoiled. "huh?"

"laugh," you repeated, unrelenting. "this is so weird so i need you to laugh."

he raised a sharp brow at you. "look who you're talking to."

you slapped your hand against your forehead in shock. "you're right!" you exclaimed, as the two of you began the long trek back to your houses. "if you laugh, the earth would turn upside down!"

"that's not possible."

the walk home had been a lot more pleasant than the ones you'd experienced with him the last four days.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

the sky resembled a painting you'd seen a few years back when you took a trip to the art museum with uncle ogi and your mom: it was dark, very dark, but the sparkles dotted around each cloud illuminated the night sky, brightening it enough for you to examine it better than one who stared at a sky with no stars whatsoever. you'd heard that apparently in some countries, the pollution was so bad to the point where the stars weren't even the slightest bit visible; you couldn't imagine that. what was a sky with no stars? what was a day with no sun? what was a night with no moon?

what were you without megumi?

no, really, where the hell was he? he said he'd meet you up on his rooftop in a few, but you'd been idly watching the clouds move above your head for a good ten minutes. as beautiful as it was, it wasn't much of an experience without your grump of a friend himself.

content with watching the stars alone, megumi had finally decided to show himself, climbing up from the ladder attached to the roof of the house and pulling himself up through the ceiling window to meet you. he crawled his way over, explaining his absence.

"dad needed me to hide the broken vase from mom."

your brows knitted themselves together. "the china one?"

"yeah," he nodded, sitting next to you and hanging his elbows off of his bent knees. "i didn't help him."

"i didn't think you would," you admitted with a laugh. "wasn't it the fonthill dragon jar? the one sold for twelve milli—"

"— million dollars?" he finished off bitterly. "yeah, that's why i didn't help him."

you hummed, leaning towards him slightly to speak in hushed tones for fear of any eavesdroppers that might run off to megumi's mother and snitch.

"it wasn't a very pretty vase, though —"

"just say it's ugly —"

"— yeah it's ugly."

it was quiet then, quiet enough that if one paid close attention to the scene, the sounds of crickets may be heard. it wasn't a chilly night, hence the lack of thick sweaters on both you and megumi, but you didn't feel as warm as one would have expected. you'd been feeling this way for the past week. whatever megumi had been actively hiding from you had caused a small rift, one you weren't very fond of.

you watched him carefully out of your peripheral vision. he seemed less tense, less angry. his shoulders had drooped, as if a bunch of weights that had been accumulating on them had dropped significantly. megumi's jaw had remained tight the entire week, yet as you stared at the line leading up to his chin and mouth, you noticed how relaxed it seemed. in turn, your jaw loosened, the distance between you and him closing. perhaps whatever your friend was going through was now long forgotten, long over.

"i'm gonna tell mom about the vase," he said, breaking the tense silence as the two of you gazed up at the stars blinking down at you. the moon was full tonight.

"i expected nothing less," you replied, chuckling.

"and the earth isn't flat, dummy."

you could feel his eyes burning holes on your right cheek. you repressed the urge to burst out laughing.

at least you knew for certain, now, that megumi was okay. his consistent need to be right finally returning after its long hiatus, and though it had been extremely annoying over the last eight years, you found it rather endearing too (you'd take a bullet before admitting it to him). megumi wasn't megumi without his unshakeable personality.

"so you were listening to me after all," you stated, averting you gaze from the captivating the stars to the moon sitting next to you.

he blinked at you, bemused.

"i always listen."

and for the rest of that night, you couldn't shake off the feeling that whatever megumi had been hiding, it had something to do with you.

you were glad it was in the past now.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

2016-2017 eighth grade

mr andersen's homework had been left untouched on your desk for about two weeks (despite being given an extension because he was well aware just how bad at math you were). you were tired, exhausted, and drained: middle school was no joke. it was times like these — where some random dude decided that adding letters to the already-difficult math equations — that you felt like taking a knife and driving it clean through your heart.

you got up, a lightbulb hovering just above your head as you beamed, scrambling to take your phone out of charge and scrolling through your contact list.

— go-go-go-joe! (27 missed calls) — nobara <3 — yuji :) (1 missed call) — mother — porcupine 👺

there he was — porcupine — you clicked his number and pressed the phone to your ear, lying flat on your bed once again. it dialled for all of five seconds before you heard his grumpy voice on the other end of the line:

"what do you want?"

you sighed, putting on your theatre skills to show.

"megumi..." you groaned weakly, following that with a fake cough.

"..."

you coughed again. "megumi — ahem — i'm sick."

"sucks to be you."

you repressed the desire to start yelling at him, cursing him out due to his lack of empathy. it doesn't matter whether you were faking an illness or not — as a friend, megumi was supposed to offer help, advice, ask whether you were doing well or not. you remembered a time where his mom had to take him to therapy, concerned about his lack of feeling. it was a funny day, that was.

you tried again, coughing twice more this time.

"i think i have a — *cough* — a fever," you said, trying your best to sound as physically weak as possible. you got up, gently swiping your hair away from your face as you slowly made your way to the window. " *cough* — i can't do a-any homework today..."

"that so?" said megumi.

you nodded, almost forgetting that he couldn't see you. you draped one of your arms over your waist, the other hand still pressing your phone to your ear.

it had rained a little while ago, puddles forming by the sidewalk. the grass looked damp yet very shiny and silky beneath the weak light protruding from the sun, its very presence hiding behind the prominent clouds, thick as cotton candy.

"i just — i can't get out of bed right now — *cough* — megumi."

"yeah, must be difficult."

your lip curled. "yes! — i mean — *cough* — yes... i'm so glad you understand."

megumi responded almost immediately. such a good friend, you thought. you almost felt bad for deceiving him, but it just had to be done. perhaps if you had megumi's brains for math, none of this would be happening. so in a way, it was all his fault.

yeah, that made sense. he brought this upon himself.

"you probably can't stand up straight either," he said, and you almost let out a chuckle.

"mhm — it's so — *cough* — ugh, i hate this." you decided it was time to cage the dog. "i was thinking... erm... *cough, cough* ... maybe you could do my homework — *cough* — like last time? i'm really, really sick."

"yeah, sick to the point where you can't get out of bed —"

"yes, megumi! see — *cough* — see i knew you'd understand... you're such a great friend!"

absentmindedly, you fiddled with the fabric of your beige curtains.

"maybe you should look outside to help you feel better," he suggested.

you grinned, looking up without realising it.

"that's a good ide—"

you stopped short of yourself, met with the sight of megumi staring right through your soul from his own bedroom window. lo and behold, one of the disadvantages of living right across from your best friend.

you froze.

"you should probably use your mermaid powers and heal yourself —"

"that's not how it works!" you snapped, furious.

you stumbled, your hands immediately grabbing the curtains and circling yourself with it, hiding yourself from view. and before he could embarrass you any further (because he absolutely would, that was megumi fushiguro), you hung up, heart returning to its usual pace and eyes wide with shock.

you hurriedly unravelled yourself from the curtains and shut them closed, walking off in annoyance.

"creep," you muttered under your breath.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

fear choked you as you gasped for breath, your lungs constricting in on itself, the back of your knees burning with each stride. with every step, the voice in the back of your head encouraged you to continue, reminding you that you had to keep it up; you only countered back with the question of whether it was all worth it or not. it certainly hadn't seemed like it, with the hairs at the back of your neck sticking to your warm skin and your palms growing increasingly sweaty.

running had never been an issue for you. you quite liked it when you were a kid, enjoying such activities like playing tag or red-light-green-light or chasing megumi (that one was, perhaps, your most favourite of them all, despite megumi's disdain).

now, however, as you ran for your life, you hated every bit of it. you hated the way the air slapped at your face in your hasty strides, you hated the way the adrenaline ran beneath your skin with excitement you couldn't quite understand, and you hated the way you could barely breathe, as if a block of wood had been lodged into your throat. you couldn't remember the last time you felt this way. coach yaga had made you run laps before, but none of them were as painful as this.

and it was all satoru's fault, which no one had let him forget the entire marathon towards the airport.

"why on earth did you suggest taking a shortcut here if you were already on time?" demanded uncle ogi, the lines on his forehead becoming more and more prominent as everyone dragged their bags and belongings with them.

you'd finally entered the building after what felt like ten long and dawdling years. the summer heat had already made you feel faint and uncomfortable, and the marathon everyone had been collectively (forcefully) participating in had only made it a hundred times worse. the sticky feeling beneath your pits and arms felt like you'd just emerged from out of a pool of your own seat. your shirt stuck to your skin like glue.

megumi's dad spoke up angrily.

"he's an idiot, that's why."

you couldn't help but think that he barely looked fazed by the constant running. he only seemed to care about the lack of time everyone had to get to the airport on time.

but uncle ogi did not seem to find that a valid reason, abruptly turning to look at him with visible frustration.

"and why the hell did you fools follow him?"

maki, who was running silently in front of both you and megumi, had reached up and pulled at her father's ponytail. his head had practically snapped backwards to glare down at her.

surprised (and pleasantly amused), you stopped in your tracks, taking a moment to not only breathe, but use that breather to let out a loud laugh. megumi was not pleased by this at all; his hand that had been clasping yours for the entirety of the adventure had tightened harshly, pulling at you to snap you out of your reverie.

"stop," he said, looking dishevelled as the two of you fell straight back into your routine and sped past several strangers behind the rest of your family.

"i did," you responded cheekily, complying with each pull and tug of megumi's hand.

despite all the noise ringing in your ears, the chatter of the public the and cries of several babies, you could still hear maki's harsh voice cut through the air.

"stop fussing," she snapped. "you don't have to be here, y'know."

the lines on uncle ogi's forehead disappeared to accentuate the crease newly-formed between his brows as he glared down at her. oddly enough, you thought he seemed to be faring well with all the running, despite his old age.

"i'm the driver, smart ass!" he shot back, silencing maki as she rolled her eyes at him.

he wasn't lying: all of you had travelled in two separate cars to arrive at the airport. in your mom's car, your mom, satoru, toji, megumi's mom, tsumiki (toji's goddaughter), you and megumi had been in. in uncle ogi's car, uncle ogi, maki, mai, suguru, and mimiko and nanako (suguru's adopted daughters).

satoru had messed around with the gps in the passenger seat at some point, insisting that he knew a shortcut with such confidence, your mom had been too lazy to care about the way he'd toggled with it, brows furrowed with the tip of his tongue poking out of the side of his smooth lips. uncle ogi had been following your mom's car, so collectively, everyone ended up being late.

uncle ogi wasn't done there though, his gaze hardening even further before he added his final comment. "and what did i say about pulling my hair?"

maki turned to you and scowled when you kept the smile plastered over your face.

"you wait till we get home —"

"ogi stop threatening maki!" megumi's mom called out from ahead, her voice faint yet every bit demanding.

your legs had long since given up on their own. each movement they made only felt like someone had sent multiple bullets to drive themselves into you, tiring you out and evoking so much pain from you. you couldn't go on any longer, not with the feeling of your shirt practically suffocating you amongst the heat of the crowded airport. you ached to feel some cool air brush against your warm skin, however, the longer you continued to run, the less likely that would ever happen.

you raised your head slightly, chest heaving as you eyed the muscled back belonging to none other than toji himself. your left hand, feeling too warm in megumi's, had been released from its gentle shackles when megumi immediately stepped away from you, almost as if he practically sensed the exact thought you had in mind. you didn't complain, bending your knees (ignoring the momentary burning sensation it brought you) and jumping up, arms gripping onto toji's broad shoulders, ignoring his surprised grunting and struggling as you adjusted your hold on him.

"that's better," you sighed, grip iron-like as he shook himself in a failed attempt to throw you off. to someone watching from afar, they probably thought he looked like a dog.

"get off me, gremlin —"

"it wouldn't kill you to hold her for a bit," said megumi's mom, and that in itself was enough to silence toji. he begrudgingly jogged with you on his back, making no attempt to hold onto your legs as he dragged his — and his wife's — suitcases along.

your mom looked back, no longer running and now confused at the statement before seeing your face hidden in the tall man's shoulders. she sighed.

"y/n, get off of—" she began, before turning away and catching up to suguru, who was running beside his best friend whilst carrying nanako and mimiko, each girl under each arm. "ugh, i tried to care."

jumping onto toji's hard back was probably the best idea you came up with all day. looking down at everyone made you feel superior. the fact that you no longer needed to run along with everyone made you feel superior. the burning at the back of your knees had started to dim, and simultaneously, your heart beat had slowly started to return back down to its normal pace. however, now there was a slight strain in your arms, curtesy of toji being completely unhelpful in keeping you propped up on him, forcing you to hold onto him with all your might. though you'd still argue that this was far better than all that dreadful and tiring running.

you surveyed everything else around you, watching it all pass by in a blur: you could barely tell that the blue waiting seats were, indeed, blue waiting seats with how fast toji seemed to be sprinting. once at the back of the group, now you were nearly at the front, and through it all, megumi still seemed to be at your side, considerably shorter than you were used to.

you laughed, kicking his side with your foot.

"i'm taller than you now, porcupine!"

you couldn't tell whether he was scowling or not, but you'd bet your life that he was.

"normalcy has been restored," you sighed dreamily.

"hey, which gate?" asked megumi's mom, her hands bare and empty since her husband silently offered to carry her things. that was before this entire predicament. you imagined that he definitely regretted that now.

you couldn't see satoru's face, only met with the sight of the back of his head, but you heard him well nonetheless.

"terminal four," he'd answered, and even suguru stared at him in bewilderment.

"yeah, we know that," said toji, already frustrated as it was. "what gate?"

silence only followed after that. satoru's dark haired companion turned back once more with a scowl, gently lowering his two girls back to their feet despite their obvious discontent.

"for fu— he doesn't know what gate," he stated, annoyed. he then shoved the white-haired male. "give me back our tickets —"

"what?" satoru riposted, shocked and angry though he had no right to be. "why?"

suguru looked like he wanted to throttle him. "'cause you can't be trusted, idiot!"

everyone had stopped running by this point, meaning that there was no use for you to be held up by toji's useful back. he seemed to acknowledge this as the adults began to argue, shaking you off with more force than prior. you got the message, hopping down from your personal vehicle and stumbling into megumi's side. the boy held onto your arms to stop you from falling, and you pushed him away in thanks.

"the hell?" he questioned lowly.

you shrugged, observing the adults with a look of mild curiosity.

"does that mean you'll miss your flight?" you commented briefly.

"this is so embarrassing," mai added lowly, turning away from the unhinged people that were your family. "why did we even have to come along if we're not the ones leaving?"

"to say goodbye," you responded, as though it were the most obvious thing on the planet.

there were a lot of things you liked about mai, but equally, a lot of things you also disliked about her too. how entitled she acted, how rude she could sometimes be, how maki was just all around the better twin, though you never admitted this out loud. though your silence did speak volumes, even if you didn't know it.

"we'll see them again in a few weeks," she said airily. "how long are you staying there, megumi?"

he shrugged. you didn't think he was too fond her either. although, megumi didn't really like anyone, so that wasn't a fair argument. when this entire trip had been planned, the main issue he had was the fact that the only people that would be going that are his age are mimiko and nanako, and over the years, there was this unspoken competition between satoru's kids (you and megumi) and suguru's kids (mimiko and nanako). as amusing as it was to the adults, megumi took it quite seriously. he didn't think he could deal with them on his own.

you weren't accompanying him on this trip: it would be just him, satoru, his mom and dad, tsumiki, suguru, and mimiko and nanako.

he wouldn't communicate it to you, he wouldn't even text it to you, but he didn't think it'd be very enjoyable without you.

for one, he would have to deal with satoru's constant teasing all on his own (on the very rare occasion that you'd argue against satoru, you were quite helpful). he would be forced to interact with the twins on his own by his mother (usually his mom made the both of you do that, together). there were multiple other things he'd have to do alone on this trip. none of them would be as... dare he think... exciting as hanging out with you.

even throughout all of that, he was beyond grateful that he at least had tsumiki tagging along with him.

it still wouldn't be the same without you since you and tsumiki were not alike. though you were both kind hearted and held very highly in megumi's good graces, tsumiki was an entire grade older than the two of you and held this motherly nature around her despite it. she was, in better terms, like the sister he never had.

"maybe you won't be separated from us after all, porcupine," you said, gesturing to the adults that were still arguing (suguru had satoru in a headlock somehow, when did that happen?).

"yeah, you'll just miss your flight," added maki, nudging your side. that was probably her biggest way of showing affection. you'll take it.

you watched the scene unfold before you: toji and satoru were absolutely ripping each other apart with insults thrown back and forth. megumi's mom seemed to be the one trying to calm things down with the aid of suguru who usually never sided with toji on anything, but seemed to have no choice but to. all the while, uncle ogi was taking up his anger with your mom, who seemed to only care about leaving this place sooner rather than later.

"i'll sit on you," toji had threatened, fist raised at the blue-eyed male.

satoru stood up straight, head to head with him in response.

"yeah?" he challenged, smug. "so what, you're saying you're fat then? is that it?"

toji recoiled. if you squinted your eyes hard enough, you would probably spot the smoke flying out of his ears.

"what?" he demanded, voice carrying around the area.

"hey y/n!" satoru had randomly yelled, addressing you but his eyes refusing to leave toji's.

you froze, unsure of whether you liked where this was going. you had half a mind to step behind megumi and use his tall frame to conceal yourself. knowing your friend, you knew he'd probably be a traitor and step away from you instead.

"y/n! he said he's fat! did you hear that?"

you wanted to jump into a hole and just lay there as time went on and as the world moved on. nothing was more embarrassing to you than that horrific time where you truly believed that toji fushiguro was a 'fat man'. praying daily for everyone to forget that ever happened was deemed useless now that the issue arose again.

"i will sit on you, gojo," toji threatened again, eyes narrowed. "i will do it—"

"okay fatty!" sang satoru, speaking over toji's threats. "fatty, fatty, fatty, fatty—"

"— i'll sit on you —"

"— fatty, fatty, fatty —"

"satoru stop it, you're causing a scene!" megumi's mom ordered, voice harsh and authoritative.

he went as far as placing his hands over his ears to block everyone else out while he continued to sing the words 'fatty' repetitively. your mom stepped away from the scene, looking very much sheepish and uncomfortable.

toji glared at suguru, raising a pointer finger at him as satoru continued to sing. "you better tell him to stop it right now or i'll squash him like a bug!"

suguru's eyes widened, both shocked and angry. "the hell am i supposed to do about it?"

"oi!" interrupted uncle ogi, gripping satoru by the ear and twisting.

the singing had stopped, though the commotion hadn't.

"ow, ow, ow!" whined satoru, his head being pulled down to uncle ogi's height with each twist of his ear.

the whole ordeal had grabbed the attention of passersby, and several of them at that. a lot of the lines were empty due to the late arrival of the family, however, for the strangers that had stayed behind for whatever reasons, each of them seemed very invested in the drama unfolding before you.

maki and mai had both stepped forward to calm the arguing, though it only proved useless when it started intensifying at their involvement. you and megumi approached tsumiki, still glancing at the rest of your chaotic family with critical expressions.

"i'll miss you guys," you said thoughtfully, and you meant it even if you didn't mention it much. you would never say that to one person alone, tsumiki's mere presence brought you the comfort needed to express your thoughts with a little more freedom.

"we'll miss you too," tsumiki quickly added, briefly glancing at megumi. "won't we?"

"no."

tsumiki smiled nonetheless. "he's lying."

you smiled. "i know. megumi's the biggest liar ever —"

"look who's talking," he scoffed sourly.

you and tsumiki both ignored him as though he hadn't said anything insulting at all.

"i don't think you'll be missing this though," she continued, amusement clear in her soft voice as she regarded the loud argument.

with toji threatening to kill satoru, satoru came up with a very unique rebuttal:

"see this?" he said loudly, lifting up his phone, the latest model. he turned it over so the back of his phone was presented to the angry man. he jammed a pointer finger at the flawed apple. "i'll turn you into that, yeah? i'll turn you into an apple —"

"why you little —"

to make matter's worse, a security guard had stalked over, smaller in height yet bulky enough to make up for it.

"hey! what's going on here?"

"oh — no — they're family," said your mom, finally walking back to the group to ease tensions.

satoru turned away with a scoff.

"i'm not related to that pumbaa look-alike," he'd snapped, jamming his sunglasses further up his nose.

toji stood up straighter. "yeah i'm not too crazy about being related to skinny santa over there either."

satoru's jaw dropped, his hand enclosed around the bottom of his hoodie. he lifted it up despite the protests from around him.

"you wish you had these abs —"

uncle ogi slapped the back of his head. "put it back down you damn harlot —"

tsumiki laughed behind her hands, only forcing megumi to somewhat scold her for her amusement.

"it's not funny," he said, frowning. "they're being dumb."

"yeah you're right, megumi," she agreed, too quickly. you caught the knowing look she sent you once he turned his head to look back at the scene. "they're being very dumb."

tsumiki didn't wait for megumi to catch on to her teasing, walking off towards maki and mai to observe the argument from a closer distance. her low pony tail swung itself left and right as she walked, her hair shining under the different lighting.

it didn't take long before the argument had ceased to exist: suguru examined the tickets thoroughly (after quite the argument with satoru to get them off of him to begin with) and even approached a person of higher knowledge to help everyone with finding the correct gate and so on. it only meant one thing for you: the time for you and half of the family to part ways had caught up to you all.

you hadn't expected your goodbye to be so rushed when megumi's mother called the two of you over and nearly broke all the bones in your body after wrapping her arms around you. you didn't get much time to breathe before you found yourself squeezed against satoru's side in a one-armed hug.

"aw, don't cry, y/n —"

you looked up at him, raising a brow. "i'm literally not even —"

"it's fine, i'll be back in a few weeks!"

you shoved him away. "just get away from me."

suguru seemed to be the only normal person, hugging you briefly before rubbing the top of your head affectionately.

his daughters didn't get the same treatment you gave him. instead, you urged them to come closer and gave your request in hushed tones.

"take as many ugly pictures of megumi as you can."

before they could question you, everyone was called over to cross the gate for the flight.

that was it, then, you realised, as the twins hurried over to follow their dad. you wouldn't be with everyone for the next three to four weeks. everything was going too fast — megumi's parents had already crossed the gate, along with tsumiki who was closely followed by suguru and his kids. uncle ogi, your mom, maki and mai had all stepped back to watch them leave.

though they'd be back after the four weeks, it only just hit you like a whiplash how different your summer would be. you spent most of your time with megumi, and if not with him, then with the rest of this family, coming up with crazy adventures that even yuji and nobara would tag along with. the friday night dinners that was a weekly routine for everyone would be abolished temporarily, because they were always held at satoru's place and he'd be gone on this vacation.

tsumiki wouldn't be able to help you with your homework (or rather, do it herself) when megumi would refuse to over the phone. you wouldn't be able to gossip with megumi's mom as often either, nor bother megumi's dad in your free time with satoru.

you could hardly turn around to find megumi before you stumbled back at how close he'd randomly appeared behind you.

"don't miss me too much," you said, to cover up how he practically scared your soul out of your body a second ago.

"don't blow up my phone," he shot back, a small jab at how even the distance between your homes was too far for you, resulting in the spamming of his phone with memes and random texts.

your shoulders dropped with a sigh.

"i'm going to miss you," you said at last, and if it wasn't going to be him, you'd break the ice yourself and cut to the chase.

megumi's lips parted as if to say something back. you didn't wait for his response, stepping forward and doing something you'd never actually done before:

you hugged him.

and it didn't feel forced. it certainly didn't feel awkward. megumi, despite his cold exterior, held this warmth around him that you felt touch your skin when your arms wrapped around his neck and you stood on the tips of your toes to be able to rest your chin on his shoulder. if you'd known this earlier, perhaps there would have been several hugs that would have happened sooner.

relishing in the feeling of his presence felt good just as much as it felt bittersweet. it wasn't as though you'd never see him again, you knew that he'd be back; it was the fact that since you met him several years ago, you unknowingly lost the ability to function without him.

it felt stupid to even think about. you were certain he didn't feel the same way — you didn't really care much if that was true.

your porcupine would probably grow another few inches over the weeks he'd be away from you, and you wouldn't be able to fuss and throw a tantrum about it in his presence.

megumi's hands had remained motionless for the next few seconds, seemingly confused about their position. you felt the gentle touch of his hands just above your waist and nearly laughed at his hesitation. you had half a mind to tease him about it, but felt that time (or lack thereof) was on his side.

"you better bring back lots of candy," you said, smiling into his shoulder. "the kind that we don't have here, okay?"

"you'll get a cavity," you heard him murmur.

you grinned.

"we'll get a cavity," you corrected, pulling away and staring up at him with wide eyes. "you'll be eating them with me, porcupine."

he raised a hand and flicked your forehead. you expected it. you let him do it (and that would be the first and last time you'd ever allow it to happen). when he muttered 'dumb mermaid' under his breath, you didn't step on his foot or pull his hair or even twist his ear. although the voice at the back of your head encouraged you to cause a scene, you thought that your family had already caused enough damage and drama. the security guard's face in the corner of the room told you exactly how exasperating that already was. there was no need to make his job even harder than it already was.

you stepped aside as a silent opening for megumi to finally leave. he made his way towards the gate, carrying his suitcase with him.

"megumi," you called out to him.

he looked over at you without hesitation, cheeks slightly pink. you couldn't blame him, the summer heat was almost unbearable.

you scratched the back of your neck.

"can you just hurry up and go? i'm getting this intrusive thought about going past the gate."

he scowled at you. he didn't know why he expected anything different.

"you can't."

"exactly," you said, as though it were the most clearest thing. "but i absolutely will —"

"m/n —" he said calmly, your mother immediately responding by wrapping her arms around your neck from behind you.

"go on, megumi," she told him.

he joined satoru, who had been waiting for him to finish his goodbye session with you, silent throughout it all. it was odd for his character, really. satoru was the loudest and most disruptive person you knew yet he never once intervened with your conversation with megumi. or maybe he was just distracted with the picture of that pretty woman on his phone, who knows?

"you were taking years," you heard satoru tell his godson. "i think my whites were starting to turn into greys —"

there was a pause as satoru peered down at megumi, his glasses easily sliding down the bridge of his nose as he tilted his head.

"hey," he began, with innocent curiosity, "why are you so red?"

"shut up i'm hot," megumi snapped back, awfully defensive.

satoru's brows furrowed. he was used to megumi's bites. he found it all too amusing, enough for him to force it out of him on purpose. he knew he was successful when megumi would resort to barking at the height of his anger... however, this time, he was barely trying to aggravate him. this came as a surprise.

but when satoru thought about it — really thought about it — he found it as satisfying as putting the two final pieces of a puzzle together, as amusing as the click of the charging wire being pushed into his phone, as fascinating as colour co-ordinated books on a library shelf.

and he found it funny as hell.

"oh," he said at first, getting used to the idea before it really hit him, like the soccer he'd accidentally kicked into the face several years ago of a special girl he knows. "OHHH —"

"shut up," growled megumi, glaring at satoru with a sideways glance, not fully staring up at him head on like he usually would because he was embarrassed.

megumi fushiguro was actually embarrassed! what beautiful thing had satoru done in his past life to witness such a thing?

"i see now —"

megumi wanted to snap satoru's neck. "i'll hurt you," he threatened sharply.

but satoru was in his own world, grinning like a maniac and showing off his pearly whites. "megumi has a cr—"

"kfc."

satoru nearly broke down right there and then. megumi thought it served him right, meddling in business that wasn't his. teasing him about something he'd never actually thought off.

it was safe to say that satoru had remained angry at him for the rest of the flight (he even developed an attitude towards suguru, who was left utterly confused with the random change in mood from his best friend).

megumi had never loved the silent treatment more that day.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

bonus scene:

the family returned from their vacation on a friday but were so jet lagged, they spent all of that day and the next sleeping off with no contact. it was on a special sunday that everyone had gathered at megumi's house to reunite, share gifts and experiences, and become one again. even your dad had come back from his travelling spree and brought back a ton of stuff for the rest of the family to go through.

megumi had brought over the candy he'd promised, along with a lot of other stuff he discovered over the course of the four weeks he was gone for. currently, it was being held captive by toji who was refusing to give them to you until you 'behaved' — whatever the hell that meant.

so to take your mind off of that (you planned on retrieving them later anyway) mimiko and nanako had showed you all the pictures they'd taken of megumi as promised. going through them with tsumiki and his mom by the kitchen was the funniest thing. somehow, one of the twins had managed to draw a moustache on him while he was asleep. you had a feeling that the morning after wasn't very pleasant.

but after going through everything and having lots and lots of conversations about what everyone got up to over the summer, you'd grown antsy and restless over the things toji was keeping from you.

enough was enough.

"can i have my gifts now?" you said, eyeing the possessive hand he'd placed over your box of unknown things.

he regarded you with a look of annoyance.

"no," he answered coldly.

"why not?" you whined, desperate.

he was sporting a glass of alcohol. perhaps he was just drunk and taking whatever anger he'd gotten from his testosterone out on you.

"you changed your ways yet, kid?" he questioned vaguely.

you looked around, clueless and in shock. why was no one coming to your aid? couldn't they see how unjust and odd this was? what the hell was he even talking about?

"what does that even mean?" you said loudly, gaining the attention of the rest of the family around you.

"you're not getting anything till you start fixing that attitude, brat," he decided, firm. "looks like you never will though, so you'll get it when pigs fly."

you tilted your head at him, mildly confused.

"but you just got off a plane two days ago."

every bit of chatter had died down, silence radiating around the large room. someone could drop a pin on the floor and the sound would simply echo tumultuously. even mimiko and nanako, who were both always engrossed in their phones, had glanced up to pay attention. you could only hear the sound of toji's loud breaths. when you met his gaze, you thought he looked like someone had pissed in his cereal.

there was a snort from somewhere behind you. if you had to guess, it was probably from satoru, though you wouldn't be too surprised if it actually turned out to be suguru or even mai.

stupefied, stunned, and shocked, toji lifted your gift, enclosed in messy wrapping paper, and threw it out of the window, all without ungluing his eyes from yours.

you didn't question the first action that came to your mind. running to the window to throw yourself after it, ignoring the yells of your family and the arms that had held you back once you'd made your jump — your father's, you'd noticed, when he laughed at your foolishness instead of scolding you.

everyone had turned to scolding toji instead:

"seriously, toji?" his wife said, expression grave. "did you have to go that far?"

"you know she'd go and dive after it," your mom added with a pressing look.

toji grimaced. "since when did you care about anything?"

"since my daughter nearly threw herself out of an open window with no protective gear on —"

and all the while, you lingered at the back of the room with your gift unwrapped, grimacing when satoru rubbed your head in praise for coming up with a response as 'sick as that' — his words, not yours.

the joke continued to exist, even after several months. toji never lived down the day that you had made him look a fool in front of several people. some things just never change.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・

notes: spam ty in the chat rn bitches

previous chapter :)

next chapter :)

taglist (send an ask or comment to be added):

@1l-ynn @shaigimo @shuupiu

© tojiscrack (previously ack4rwoman)

if you enjoyed my writing, i’d really appreciate it if you tipped me — tumblr no longer has the tip function, so maybe here in my tip jar :)

i do not own any of the characters of jjk, i only own the character of y/n and her mother. the other characters belong to gege akutami.

[lxmelle]

Gojo was once described by Gege as a “man of resignation”.

It is a facet of enlightenment - in which the concept of “non-attachment” is a big part of (attachment is viewed as the root of suffering).

We can interpret “resignation” in so many ways, as it explains so much about his immense capacity for love / acceptance, but also his tendency to... simply resign himself to an outcome / fate I guess - a form of passivity that can be either considered positive or negative, perhaps depending on outcome.

Going with the flow, neither chasing nor halting anything in particular with his immense might and potential. He swayed things to gently influence an outcome. Followed a designated path trying to rebuild the sorcerer world through being a teacher... which he couldn’t fully commit too either, because he had a role as a special grade who had to keep working.

That’s not to say he didn’t achieve anything - because of course he did. But nothing revolutionary. He said so himself to Geto: he didn’t see a point in it. There were just some things he didn’t think would change - someone else would replace the higher-ups.

And thus. Despite his massive strength, he never did ever manage to go all out. Perhaps this is symbolic of an inherently gentle/accepting nature? But there was indeed a monster inside him too - the one that thrived on the thrill of killing and defeating. It was a beast he seldom let out. It was a beast with a thirst.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll paraphrase: like a sprinter limited to go at 8kmph, like a singer who is only allowed to whisper her song, a painter unable to use any paints for their desired masterpiece - how dreadfully, painfully unfulfilling.

So of course it was FUN to have this final brawl with Sukuna - to give it his very best, especially when he also didn’t feel lonely anymore with a bunch of monsters he can pass the gauntlet (his body and his will) onto in the worst case scenario.

But of course Gojo doesn’t have the ability to predict the future, so how can anyone expect that he make decisions and judgements perfectly or accurately? All he can do is consider based on his own judgement. Alone. As the only other person who help him plug those holes in his judgement, Geto, had left him.

It is up to interpretation whether Geto was left behind first, but this really isn’t a competition or about assigning blame… because where do we even start?

One cannot hold Gojo totally accountable for things that happen around him or how others interpret his actions. He was born different to everyone else. Probably treated as if he had this role to fill where people had an idea of what they wanted or needed him to be, but never gave much thought over what it would feel like for him.

Gojo, Shoko, and those left behind have had to suffer the same resignation. After all: What else are you supposed to do but resign yourself, in the face of a reality where even to things you don’t wish to happen, have to happen? All you can do is what you can... and if you can, you wield it with all your might.

Geto tried it to the best of his ability.

He wasn’t Gojo, who could do it if he wanted to.

Understanding that Gojo wasn’t, and accepting that he (Geto) shouldn’t change that about him (Gojo), as he was likely more suited to be at the school - essentially following nanami’s words and “leaving it to him” as Gojo was in his element / thrived on it, but Geto couldn’t be complicit in the system that would lead them to watch their own kind die one by one — Geto left to follow his ideals.

Gojo was referred to as the only one who can take that curse into his own hands. I used to see it as “the only one to kill Geto” after he failed and almost lost his humanity for the sake of power (killing Yuta would go against his principles) but now it also has a new meaning: the only one who can take charge and pursue the ideals to actually change the world.

The curse is the sh*t that is in the world of sorcery in jjk. Gojo seemed to (imho) now feel the need to catch up and hold the reins this time.

It is the end of Resignation Man Gojo Satoru. The emergence of The Monster Gojo Satoru (who Geto assisted in helping Gojo keep at bay through being the “model of humanity” that Gojo could follow) who was then fully ready to take the stand. Like Geto on that stage.

Bye higher ups.

Before, despite his immense strength, he didn’t force his way through. Perhaps this was the outcome of having been forced to be born and live with no choice but to be the six eyes + limitless. You do not actually have freedom.

Unless, you’re willing to become a pariah. To wield these cards that were dealt to you and completely become the extraordinary.

And now, Yuta embraces the same resigned acceptance of becoming a monster. After all... only a few will be able and willing to turn into a Monster.

Out of love. A Monstrous love indeed.

Geto had monstrous motherhood in him. I guess this extends to others now too. To cast away humanity because nobody else will. Nobody else can. So they have to wield it. Become it.

Yuta represents both the old and new world... in some way, he is like Gojo and Geto combined... power / strength + sincerity / kindness. Of course, like the yin and yang, each half has a bit of the other in it - so Gojo and Geto had a combination of power and compassion, but they symbolically represent each,

Arguably, had Geto someone else by his side, things may have been different.

All of this mess… ugh.

It didn’t have to come to this, right? Nor did it have to be the extermination of humans, but it could’ve been a collaboration of the special grades (Yuki, Gojo, Geto) all trying to solve the 3 different factors to the problem: humans as the origin of curses (research), the old-fashioned higher ups + clans, and the elimination of the curses. There may be others, but you get my gist.

But alas, this is the jjk world.

Just some thoughts, I’ll end it here before it’s more word vom.

[thr0wnawayy]

"Canon" Perception: Why MHA's World Building SUCKS!

I figured I'd make this post because it's about time I discussed my views on "Canon" or as I like to call it

The Vanilla-verse

Why?

Because Hori's version of events feel like he opened a choose your own adventure game and clicked the most straight forward options available.

Quirk Awakenings Make No Sense (JJK mentioned)

@bibibbon might like this one.

It's no secret MHA's world building is, lackluster. It feels empty.

Characters not allowed to speak out or back against favored ones, Plot lines dropped, Victims shuffled off to the side.

But where Hori fails most of all is his power system:

But first Jujitsu Kaisen

Similar to Hori, Gege (I hope I spelled that right) also struggles with world building.

Firstly the concept of Cursed Spirits.

Monsters being created from "bad" or negative emotions can work as a concept. But it also heavily depends what is considered bad.

It could allow for the tackling of what makes emotions "bad" and tie in with the shows setting of a restrictive society that forces people to either mold to the pressure or be crushed by it.

Suppressing their true selves and emotions in favor of fitting in with the norm. (to evade social subjugation)

Instead, it demonizes what is a fundamentally intrinsic part of human existence, if nor most sapient life.

It also brings up too many questions that go unanswered: Like the historical implications. If spirits have been around for so long, then why aren't places like Japan (with it's bloody history and bleak present) overrun with then.

Why are spirits trying to replace humanity if humans act as the sole reason for their existance. After all: No Humans = No Cursed Energy = No Sprits

What exactly counts as a "negative" emotion and how much does it take to give birth to a cursed spirit. Stuff like that doesn't seem to have an answer.

[This is also coming from someone who has never interacted with JJK in their life]

Similarly Hori has the same problem with almost every detail in the Vanilla-verse. Stuff like: Eri's bullets, Quirk Singularity, Trigger and so, so much more is never elaborated on.

So pray tell, why did I chose Quirk Awakenings to be the subject of this section.

Because they prove that Hori has no idea what he is doing.

Quirk Awakening or QA's might just he the most frustrating thing in MHA. Doesn't matter if it's in Hori's-verse or someone else's.

It hardly fucking ends well and that's because it's so broad.

Take Himiko's quirk awakening.

At first glance, it seems alright. A tad off but not something to raise hell about.

That is until you look at her quirk.

Transformation is a quirk that relies on blood to work, Himiko cannot copy quirks partially because quirks are stored in the DNA of an individual and Transform can only copy the outward appearance of a person.

She needs to learn the individuals mannerisms and habits on her own, she doesn't achieve those by the default of her quirk.

(The same could be argued for her voice, it would be much more impressive if she trained it)

It would make much more sense then, for the evolution of her quirk to allow her to better mimic people. Expanding the scope of who and what she could change into and how accurately she could become a subject.

It also would fit the theme of 'becoming who you love' with the saying 'imitation is the sincerest form of flattery'

Instead, though. Hori decided to make her AFO lite and it is broken.

If she copies AFO, does she obtain his quirks?

Would her quirk awakening account for other quirk awakenings. Say she transforms into Shigaraki would she be as strong as him post MVA or would she be stuck with USJ-level Decay?

Ignoring the blatant retcon-ex machina of it being dependent on Himiko's connection (not like it mattered during the Forest Camp Raid!), It is massively over powered and it doesn't fit Himiko's themes.

Now, let's look at Twice.

Twice's quirk (Double) allows him to produce identical copies of anyone through a sludge like substance that excretes from the palms of both his hands.

Each copy is a little weaker than the original, if a copy makes a copy then that fragility doubles.

Twice's quirk is ties to his character by his trauma. To the point he's so fearful of turning to sludge, that he actively goes out of his way to avoid conflict.

This guy had to watch himself kill himself, clone against clone and until MVA, Twice isn't even sure he's the original.

Twice's quirk awakening works.

It works solely because of Twice's character and themes, it simply fits.

It makes sense, Twice was so traumatized that he actively suppressed a part of himself and by breaking through that barrier he can begin to grow stronger by accepting himself.

Twice's quirk awakening works because the peice were always there. It wasn't that Twice pulled this out of his ass, he earned it.

He not only unlocked a part of himself, he came back stronger. In this way the formula works

Quirk + Effort/ Character Growth = Stronger Quirk.

Rather than replace or rebuild, Twice's QA works with what was already present and it comes off wonderfully.

I wish I could say the same for our next "challenger"

I have plenty of complaints about Shigaraki as a character, plenty.

His quirk awakening is certainly up there, not on the top. But it's up there.

It takes the weaker aspects of what I mentioned above and uses it as a crutch.

Besides Shigaraki remembering and accepting his past, this QA has nothing going for it.

It's almost boring.

There's only so much you can do with a quirk like Decay.

All it does is expand the speed and radius. And while that works for what Decay is, a quirk made to destroy things. It's really boring from a story perspective.

Seeing Deika and later Jaku was cool, but just that, cool. It only really served to push things forward and what it pushed was horrendous.

Stepping away from the narrative side, let's discuss the In-Universe side.

Post MVA Decay has two advantages. It spreads really fast and it makes things explode:

So why doesn't it work like Twice's did?

Themes. Nothing about Shigaraki's QA ties in with the themes expressed in MVA.

As the protagonist of the arc, we should feel a connection with Shigaraki, but we never do. Mainly because we don't get that much time with him.

Besided the bonding he does with the LOV we are given little reason as to why Shigaraki ticks like he does, there's little to no theme-ing with Shigaraki.

Doctor Garaki says it best with this line:

What does Shigaraki have to show us outside of his past and the PLF.

Hardly anything.

We know he's an avid gamer and likes to destroy things.

That's it.

Even Magne had something before she died, somekind of concrete goal that aligned with her character.

Tomura has nothing we can attach that to and as such his QA falls flat.

And this set the standard for every other quirk awakening in the series, no I'm not counting that monstrosity Hori bulled with Bakugo .

Uraraka's, Midoriya's, Shoto's (implied) Awakening, they all fall flat because they don't match the themes that were set literal years ago. Hori doesn't know how QA work despite having written them.

If your at the point where you, as a writer, don't understand your own in-universe system. Then maybe it's time you take away some stuff.

Why Shigaraki fails as a antagonist (featuring: Nine and Hana)

I already brushed the surface of this topic in the last segment. I'll elaborate on it here.

Shigaraki sucks as an antagonist. I don't like to use Reddit due to the attitudes on there but had found something while looking for information.

I managed to find a post that I think sums up my issues with Shigaraki pretty well, even if I don't agree the rest of the post (mainly blaming Shigaraki for Hori's failures)

The main one being what is the LOV even doing?

Spinner brings up a good point why do they even follow Shigaraki, what can he provide them as a leader that they can't get by sticking it out on their own.

Shigaraki is spoon fed practically everything and once you notice, it kills any possibility of him being taken seriously.

Let's see:

Dabi, Himiko: brought in by Giran, AFO's associate.

Spinner, Mangne, Compress: Came aboard under the false pretense that Shigaraki had cooperated with Stain.

Gigantomechia: Kurogiri has to draw him out, gets arrested while doing so.

The MLA: Has to gain a quirk awakening just to match ReDestro's output and ReDestro hands him the keys almost immediately. Only reason the merger happens is because ReDestro and Spinner planned it.

Every single goddamn thing in this story is because of factors external to Shigaraki. He literally stands around until Garaki gives him a new quest-line like a fucking Bethesda NPC.

It was understandable in the USJ because Shigaraki needed to be introduced. He was at his base form and needed to grow, except that growth never happens.

The story just dances around him, he doesn't need to try because Hori will just force things to happen.

The entire Jaku arc is him throwing a tantrum and the benefits just falling onto his lap. It is sheer luck that the public made that correlation.

Because the Nomu's behavior don't line up at all with Stains ideals. Nor does Shigaraki's "philosophy", and that was what partly triggered the whole Hosu arc in the first place!

Realistically nearly every member of the LOV should have turned tail the moment they met Shigaraki in person and spent time with him for over five minutes.

The LOV only exists and works because Shigaraki takes the backseat.

The entire Camp Raid, the focus is on everyone but Shigaraki who does fuck-all until Bakugo gets captured and we see him at the bar.

You could pluck Shigaraki from the arc and nothing would change because the central focus was on Dabi and the Vanguard Action Squad. How is anyone supposed to take Shigaraki seriously, when he is second fiddle to his own team.

And it's pretty much the same in the Overhaul Arc what does he direct contribute?

Again, nothing. I've heard the term 'Talk no jujitsu' used and it perfectly encapsulates his response to Himiko's anger.

No one in the LOV has any reason to believe him, to put faith in him because the fuck up was so colossal.

Let's review:

Shigaraki knew someone (someone important, a villain) was coming, made no plan if things went south. Dabi had actually left the base to recruit on Shigaraki's orders! Meaning that Shigaraki is primarily to blame for the casualties dealt during this fight.

Already bad, but maybe he does something to reaffirm their belief in him as a leader. Nope.

His revenge plan hinged on Overhaul not deciding to kill two of his team members on a whim, or use them as bargaining chips. Sends them directly into enemy territory with no resources.

Put his teammates on a position where they are forced to kill a hero in order to evade capture, making them a priority target for society at large* and further pushing them away from possible resources. (*A society, mind you that openly mutilates and kills outlaws)

His relationship with his team members is near non existant: from the Reddit Post

Spinner. Shigaraki plays videogames with him off-screen. Never even shows any concern for his whereabouts after Spinner starts losing his mind and almost goes full Nomu off of his quirks.

Kurogiri. Shigaraki never shows any wonder or comment as to Kurogiri's presence, despite the fact that Kurogiri was his babysitter for a long time and he apparently missed him after his capture.

Mr. Compress. Shigaraki never shows any wonder or concern as to his capture.

Dabi. Shigaraki never interacts with him in any way that suggests real friendship.

Toga. Shigaraki never interacts with her in any way that suggests real friendship.

Twice. Shigaraki never shows any kind of wonder or any concern as to his death.

Magne. Shigaraki never interacts with her in a way that suggests real friendship. Side Note: he never really reacts to her death either.

Y'wanna know who does have a relationship with his team?

Nine:

Nine might be one of the few characters Hori has ever created that managed to make me give a shit about them outside of alternative (or fanon) materials.

He is everything Shigaraki tried to be as a character:

A solid goal: To create an ideal world for his allies and himself where their idea of the 'strongest' rule.

Connections: Everything Nine does, he does himself. His teammates ate intertwined with hin through their history, he actually saved Chimera's life and it's implied he also did this for Slice and Mummy.

Effort: Nine puts himself in harms way numerous times for the sake of his allies and their mission. He even goes through with Garaki's experiments knowing he will likely wind up as the experiment himself.

Nine is phenomenal for what he was: A character from a spinoff movie.

And then he was killed.

God Fucking Damn it Hori.

===============================

Something that always bothered me about the defaced All Might statue was the laziness of it all.

In a way it reflected the direction MHA was headed, headlong into a kerosene coatdd dumpster.

I Am Not Here.

That's the best thing you could come up with? The falling action of the Arc and all you could conjure was that!?

When MHA ended, I said no, no fuck that and began putting some of the concepts I had made during MHA's decline to good use.

The logical conclusions went into Crownless Monarchy. Which serves as a continuation to what Hori failed for finish.

The rest?

The rest had been going into a side project of mine called:

I Am Nowhere

Or Nowhere for short.

Total Timeline Derailment is a phenomenon I noticed pop up in specfic works.

It occurs when an author throws out all stages of canon in favor of crafting their own story and shedding the limitations of the source material.

The story of Nowhere starts off modestly, following an alternative line of events where Hana's quirk causes a much larger scale massacre upon it's blossoming and the expands to show just how different this universe really is.

Such changes include: Hana's quirk being named and shown:

Soundwave: evolution of Nana's quirk and takes inspiration from Hana's name meaning (Flower)

Present Mic and Jirou losing their quirks in their youth (or as an infant in Jirou's case)

Himiko's parents making a deal with the Symbol of Evil himself.

Expanding upon Doctor Garaki's past and friendship with AFO.

The Yakuza going a different route (Overhual gets a new brother)

An alternate USJ: Christmas came early

AFO and Garaki both having successors.

And a ton of other things I need to flesh out more!

One may wonder what this has to do with my critiques on Hori's canon.

Besides being a pitch of sorts, this allows me to elaborate on how Hori seems to make mistakes one wouldn't expect of someone with as many years under the belt as Hori.

The one thing Hori always forgets is consequences. In Nowhere, Consequences are everywhere.

Enji shipping Rei off to the mental ward to cover up his abuse?

AFO takes interest and decides to pull some strings to get Rei transferred to Jaku General.

UA slacks on security?

Ok! Just let Hana bring Warmonger (USJ Nomu) along and have her kill Thirteen and nearly kill All Might in the same hour. Oh, and Himiko is playing the insider (of her own volition)

Bakugo rejects Midoriya's hand?

His abuses attract the attention of the Pale Sculptor herself, leading to him loosing both his parents in a "gas leak" ignited when Marsaru clapped his hands and caused an mini explosion to occur. [They get Rei's version of Nomufication] setting Nomufication forward by a decade in the process.

Ideally this story won't leave things out. Speaking of that I have one last thing to discuss

The whole debacle with the Winged Nomu and how some people don't know that it's apparently supposed to be Tsubasa

(yk the obscure character who only shows up twice and who we didn't get a name for until said reveal)

"What a Bomb to Drop", yeah it would have been better to "drop" it without needing to cram it into volume extras.

That right there is what gets me about Hori's writing, the lack of storytelling.

We shouldn't have an entirety different series just to understand why a character is they way they are (I'm looking at you Oboro)

I will say Vigilantes is leagues above it's parent series, even with the glaring flaws that plauge it.

Moral of the story: LEARN TO WRITE!

[squiddy-god]

jjk cuddles

Previously squid-god-supreme, fic re-uploading currently. This is old and was written pr- everything hitting the fan so it should be spoiler free. Magical universe with no angst or gege AU lol

Geto, gojo, nanami, noya but I make fun of him

Cw: fluff, tooth rotting to hide the pain, misogyny being mocked , probably ooc but I dgaf

Geto

Catch me simping-

Ok so like I feel like he's a great cuddle partner

He's big and warm 🥺 and has strong arms 

Perfect to hold you

Likes to be the big spoon and rest his head in the crook of your neck 

Will sometimes playfully pinch your sides

His cuddles are always very secure and snug

Likes it when you lay on his chest 

Not one for initiating cuddles but won't complain if you do

I just want to hug him,,, like aowbwiebeoee big arms go brrrrr 

I bet he's oddly soft

👉👈 please hold me 

Always looks so content when holding 

you, a relaxed smile on his face 

You didn't want to move, the position was too comfortable to consider getting up. Getos arms were wrapped around you, his long hair tickling your cheek as his head rested in the crook of your neck. It was peaceful, almost dead quiet as you laid there together. It was always nice to cuddle geto in the summer, his body running on the cooler side meaning that it wouldn't become stuffy or suffocating. Letting out a small but mischievous giggle you placed a kiss in his head, just a little peck, and another, and another, until he looked up at you with a smirk. "Oh? And what did I do to deserve all of those" geto asked kissing right below your lips. "Hmmmm I don't know, just felt like it" he humed, going back to his previous position, albeit holding you a bit tighter. 

Nanami 

Tired cuddles

Always holds you close before bed and thats 99% if your cuddles

Doesn't say he wants cuddles but it's pretty obvious he's tired and wants you in his arms 

This isn't a negotiation

Nanami's cuddles are very secure and comfortable, but also very loose

He just drapes his arm over you and boom, optimal cuddle position 

Is fine being the big or little spoon but prefers positions where your both holding each other

Likes lap cuddles, weather that's his head in your lap, your head in his, or you sitting in his lap

Peace and quiet, two things that nanami enjoyed. No Annoying Qtip sorcerer trying to mess with him, just you rested snug against his chest. His hand traced loose circles on your back while you listened to his steady breathing. It was times like this when he felt most content, moon high in the sky and day over, no space between the two of you but neither presence feeling suffocating, and it helped that he was warm. With your arms wrapped around his torso you gave a gentle squeeze just to let him know you were awake. He appreciated it, and all the little things you do. 

Gojo

I have ✨thoughts✨ about this 

First off he smells surprisingly nice, like he smells like sweets and a bakery 

It's a 50/50 chance on whether you get god tier cuddles or are left wheezing in pain on the floor

Because sometimes he will chose violence and start a tickle war, and how can you win 🤡

Little spoon gojo! He kinda koala hugs you and won't let go 

Asks for lots of cuddles but ends up pulling you into them whenever you walk by 

It's always a tangle of limbs with this lanky boy 

Ah yes, another movie night and another bad horror film; however the monster wasn't on the screen but rather the one tangled up with you on the couch. "Let me go- i'm gonna get more popcorn" pretending to ponder it for a moment, his cheek squished against your chest. "Nope! The only snack I need is you~" oh how you wished to wipe that smirk off his face. Trying to wriggle free from his grasp was impossible, "ah ah ah, I wouldn't try that if I were you~" he said in a Threateningly playful tone, his fingers tapping against your sides. You, not looking to catch those hands, relented, eyes going back to the cheap film. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*.・゜゜・｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆-: ✧ :-゜・．

Noya

Who??? 

W h O??? Who would want this man within 50 feet of them? 

Smh 

Probably smells like to much axe body spray because he doesn't want "girly" scents

If you cuddle this man your asking for it lmao because it's horrible

Always crumbs in the bed (hint: he's the crumb in the bed)

I imagine him with like a really smooth voice but he won't stfu 

Seriously never stops talking

Switches cuddle positions every 5 seconds

Refuses to be little spoon 

"Go back to the kitchen"

[runabout-river]

Thoughts on JJK chapter 268 (spoilers)

So many thoughts. So many...

Sukuna and Megumi finally come face to face and talk with each other but as far as emotional connections and resolutions between them are concerned there isn't much and I will have to say that in that point Gege fumbled the story telling.

He should've put the spotlight on Sukuna and Megumi at multiple points in the story after the possession but he chose to put Megumi to the side which makes his appearance here at this moment less impactfull

But more on that later...

What's really interesting about Sukuna in these first two pages, is him appearing calm and collected in his first panel but then his game is up and we see that through Megumi talking to him

It's really good imagery. Sukuna the shapeless monster that devours everything but then gets reduced to nothing inside the domain between him and Megumi.

I'm certain that Megumi's new will to live actively pushed Sukuna into that state where Yuji was able to punch those two apart.

Again for emphasis:

Megumi pushing Sukuna away is visualized by his words shrinking Sukuna's black soul. If Megumi had completely lost his will to live instead of wanting to fight on for Yuji, Sukuna would've most likely eaten and sank Megumi's soul completely into darkness at that point, leaving Yuji's last soul punch without effect.

Without Megumi fighting back, Yuji wouldn't have been able to separate Sukuna from Megumi's body.

The double page spread was breathtaking and invoked the horror part of this story again.

Sukuna's... remaining form lying on the ground, first looking forward to Megumi and then looking up at Yuji... So striking

Yuji then still talking to Sukuna because he wants to save him after he realized that they had similar beginnings but Sukuna didn't have a grandpa to help turns this moment quite sad

Sukuna backstory when??

And finally Sukuna calls Yuji by his full name while he rejects his offer again, fading into nothing. But he says that he should'n't be underestimated because he's a curse and I made an entire post once about Sukuna ascending into one.

Right now though we have a huge question that needs to be answered: from what did Sukuna die right now? Because when the answer isn't from a CE attack, then he will return as a proper curse.

Uraume meanwhile dies in panels that are strategically placed to not completely answer the question of her (their) gender.

Megumi wakes up and he's scarred. Those scars are not from the battles though. The ones over his right side are from Sukuna's mask and the one under his left eye is from his second eye. Symbolism.

Those are physical representations of the torture he went through under Sukuna's presence and the mark he left on him. Only the torture that was shown... has less impact than I had hoped. Gojo's attack on Megumi e.g. left him suffering UV effect for 1700 years and that's not a factor in any of this apparently.

Megumi has the physical scars but the story behind it is lacking because we didn't see Sukuna and Megumi interacting.

Megumi and Yuji just go back to how things were and that leaves the emotional impact hanging again. Yes, we can explain their psyches on that but in storytelling some things are just more impactfull than others.

Nobara and Yuji wanting to prank Megumi was peak and the last letters from Gojo were also funny but again the emotions surrounding that were a little funky imo

Look at the three they're all scarred now.

Something else I would probably criticize Gege's story structure for is that Nobara's scars have barely any relation to Mahito and that Megumi's scars have no impact from his underdeveloped relationship with Sukuna.

Yuji carries the emotional and structural beats of the manga and that's okay, he's the protagonist after all but that makes the scars on the others look more like paint... Again, in my opinion.

The last panels are about Yuta and whatever he has going on with Gojo's body. We'll see in the last three chapters...

And that brings me to a point I can't stop thinking about.

Is this the actual end of JJK, or is there a Part 2?

Because there are so many different plot points left, things that could easily make an entire 200 chapter story arc. And then comes Gege and adds another new plot in the point of Nobara's mother to the mix.

We have not seen Megumi's completed domain expansion.

There are things missing in the story that deserve their own post and some complaints I have might actually be dismissed when the manga in a new Part continues. And with every new chapter that gets released until we come to the end that gets more and more likely...

[quinnyundertow]

Your writing has made me absolutely fall head over heels in love with Yuta! You write him so well that I look at him in a completely different light now in the manga/anime. Also, I'm very excited for the Toji sequences upcoming in WICYG! xoxo

This made me so damn happy you have no idea! I adore him to know it made you love him more just- BE STILL MY HEART!

I’ve always wanted to write out my Yuta!head-canons and this made me go all in hahaha (Sorry bestie but I hope you enjoy them)

If you forced me to pick a fav from JJK it would 100000% be Yuta. He’s so complex and yet simple as a character. He experienced so much abuse/neglect (from parents, classmates, teachers, even Rika) as a young child due to seeing/having Rika in a non sorcerer environment. Gege said Yuta doesn’t have a close relationship with his parents but is close with a little sister. That’s so easy for me to imagine.

Yuta! Head-canon: His parents are both working full time when the tragedy with Rika happens. They feel so guilty but relieved that their son survived. As time goes on however Yuta won’t stop crying at night about this monster version of his dead best friend haunting him. At first they would pour everything into trying to get him medical help but as the years go by and psychiatrists say he’s seeking attention the care turns to frustration. Probably culminating in a, “Get over it! I don’t want to hear about her ever again!” Type of argument.

Yuta!Head-canon: His little sister would have been a safe person to him. Maybe five years younger than him so they really never talked about that girl Rika who “moved away” when they were little. Rika wouldn’t feel as threatened as she’s his sister and a younger child so I could see her allowing him to form a relationship with him. At least at first. Deep down Rika is kind but she’s still a curse jealousy would crop up or a normal sibling fight could have ended with Rika hurting his little sister only for Yuta to further isolate.

Yuta!head-canon: He is hyper aware of others emotions and if there are changes to someone’s regular personality. He remembers tiny details of everything because that’s how he had to survive growing up. He had to monitor Rika constantly for little changes that could indicate she may explode or cause issues. This aspect also causes him to empathize deeply even with those who may not deserve it. He doesn’t want Rika to kill his bullies because he’s seen the kid menacing him is getting bullied by upperclassmen and understands what that means. That said if they fuck with someone he cares about all that empathy goes out the window and he’s going to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Yuta!Head-canon: Yuta has a circle of people very close to him and once you’re in that circle he is a true ride or die. Ask him for anything and trust that shit is getting done no matter how sketchy it sounds. He is the true definition of unconditional love (We all saw how Rika got and he still deeply loved her. ) and would support and trust you totally once you have proved worthy of it by actions.

Yuta!Headcanon: He is quick to fall in love and quick to let them go. If you give him even the littlest bit of praise or extra attention he’s going to get a crush on you. He can’t help it. He’s always held everyone so far away from him so any sort of domestic or doting affection would make him melt. That said he has always had to create firm boundaries around himself and others to protect people so if you told him you’re not interested or not to text you he would abide by that completely.

Yuta!headcanon his personality is that of self sacrifice. He could never be a yandere. He understands and thinks that your life would be better without him in it. How could he try and force someone to be with him? He accidentally did that to Rika and it plagued his mind constantly and was willing to die to let her rest in peace.

I had so much fun writing these out and sorry I hijacked your post!!! I’m so happy you enjoy the story and Toji’s entry should be fun!!!! Thank you for the ask love!!!

[exo-raskreia]

Thoughts on 261 & More Utahime Potential Ideas

WARNING: MAX COPIUM + MANGA SPOILERS

Ok, I know everyone's been losing it lately. I tried to keep calm when the 261 leaks dropped. I'm very disappointed & shocked as well (Gojo... ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇ‸இﾟ+)ﾟ｡ ).

However... The latest developments have also caused me to ascend to a higher state in Delulu Land & this is my hardest cope yet.

First off, it seems to be implied that Gojo chose to become a monster by killing the higher-ups, thinking that he was finally going as far as (stooping as low as) Geto did for his ideals, but didn't want his students to see. And yet, they wanted to be there with him, not wanting him to carry the burden of becoming a monster alone—they would too by going through with the Horrible Plan™. So, miss me with that "Gojo wanted to die & reunite with his best friend" nonsense. There is too much at stake here & Gojo gave his all for his students and allies. Yuuta is currently risking his life too, for his friends & to carry Gojo's burden (let's go a little easier on him, guys, & Maki too, since she was against this plan; mainly for Yuuta, but still. Hakari looked disturbed too...).

This whole thing's a mess, though. What is Gege doing? Why hype up Gojo only to reveal such a horrible plan? Is he playing with us 'cause he's a sadistic freak or could it be there's something more to it? That he's setting up for something else? I've mentioned this before, but could it be that Gojo is truly meant to return at a crucial moment? When all hope seems lost? As it did feel a bit random to reappear during Todo & Yuuji's fight...

WARNING: Harry Potter spoilers!

Nitta must've stopped any further bleeding from Gojo's brain & Yuuta's body, so he, Shoko, & Amai must be keeping them healed & safe. I wonder if they're keeping an eye on the possibility Gojo could regain consciousness. I once mentioned this in a Tweet, but could Gojo be in a similar state as Harry Potter after getting hit by the Killing Curse, seemingly "dead" but actually in a state of limbo where he had met Dumbledore's soul in a place resembling King's Cross Station?

In Gojo's case, he's at an airport where he met his dead comrades (whether it's actually them or just Gojo dreaming, is uncertain; if he is dreaming, then wouldn't that mean he's still alive?). He's given a choice to metaphorically "board a plane" north or south, to return as someone new or to stay as he is. In the Buddhist-inspired JJK verse, north could mean enlightenment, so will Gojo choose that path, as many have theorized? It's uncertain if going north means choosing to live and/or ascending to a higher state (godhood), & if going south means straight up dying/reincarnating or simply returning to his misunderstood self, but I hope Gojo chooses whichever is best for his return. One that will possibly make him stronger but finally gaining a new perspective that will break the barrier between himself & others? Or maybe weaker but finally able to fight alongside the others (especially if he makes a Binding Vow)?

As such, Gojo's body was healed by both Shoko & Yuuta, & since his head had remained intact & on his body throughout the whole ordeal—which is required for RCT to work—could it be he could regain consciousness at some point with his own RCT? Yuuta only has 5 minutes to fight in Gojo's body but it's unknown what would happen once they are up. There are the risks he could die or stay stuck in Gojo's body, both of which are atrocious. However, in order to survive, could Ui Ui do a soul swap before the 5min mark, if/when Gojo revives? Or could it be both souls would automatically switch back? Either way, if the danger is out of the way, would Shoko then be able to perform the operation again to switch their brains back?

However, do the sorcerers really think they can defeat Sukuna in less than 5mins before Yuuta's back to the operating table? This is so convoluted, so I'm not sure how this would go. 😥

Anyway, I've been delulu theorizing Utahime could really have an important role in the Shinjuku Showdown arc here and here for a while now, whether it's to help in Gojo's revival or something else. Even with this latest shocking development, my ideas still stand.

Once again, neither Utahime, Ijichi, & Gakuganji were present at the strategy meetings in the flashbacks, especially the one with the Horrible Plan™. While Gojo wasn't present either for said plan, he was informed of it later & he commented he didn't intend to lose, so he didn't really care what would happen to his corpse anyway. This could mean that Utahime & the others were later informed too but at that point, it may have been too late to stop it. Maybe that's why Utahime had that somber expression in chapter 222. She knew what could happen and DID NOT agree with it, so while everyone was cheering Gojo on with happy expressions, she wasn't. I wonder if she had expressed her disagreement to Gojo right before meeting up with the others or something, as this other panel still makes me curious.

Gege didn't have to include her here but he did. She looks nervous... I once made a silly post on both GojoHime panels in chapter 222 here.

Anyway, Ijichi wasn't even present which is kind of strange while Gakuganji is typically so serious anyway.

At this point, one's inclined to believe that maybe they really were up to something else. It's too suspicious and obvious that these 4 were not a part of any of the important strategy meetings with the other sorcerers. It seems deliberate on Gege's part. Which is why these new delulu ideas come into play.

MAX COPIUM FROM THIS POINT ON.

Shoko has shocked us all with her very blasé attitude about the Horrible Plan™, that even Gojo said he was hurt annoyed by it. Either she was bottling it all up (she really did seem worried during the battle...), fully trusted Gojo in not losing (but she should've assured him?), or maybe, just maybe, there's a tiny possibility that she's hiding something. Could she have another plan?

Whether she does or not, Shoko is not part of my delulu ideas this time. I'm done. I had mostly brought her up before because of the possibilities & how much others hyped her up for it, but my delusions have always mainly revolved around Utahime. Shoko thankfully did her part already by helping heal Gojo's body & now it's Utahime's turn to take care of the rest.

Sure, Gojo could return on his own through a Binding Vow and/or his own RCT that should be working again, but as I brought up before in my first aforementioned delulu post, what if Utahime boosts his RCT to quicken and strengthen it? Nice and simple, right?

Or, what if Utahime's singing will finally come into play? As I also mentioned before, what if Gojo can hear her in the limbo & will be guided back by her voice? Like the luring of a siren? Will she call him by (first) name? Shrine maidens can summon spirits & gods, so if that applies to the JJK verse, could Utahime perform a ritual to reach & summon Gojo's soul? Especially if he chooses enlightenment? Now, I would hope this wouldn't be a temporary thing...like he returns to help one last time before departing to the heavens in a godhood state or something. Oh, Gege, u better not...

What if her singing does have healing abilities? But even more crazily, what if they're not physical, but spiritual? Could Utahime restore both Gojo's & Yuuta's souls to their bodies? Could she help Yuuta's soul remain safe once the 5mins are up?

For all this to happen, Utahime would have to be in the medical room. Where is she currently? Is she on her way? Is she still out on the battlefield possibly boosting the remaining sorcerers (well, hardly anyone left, tbh)? If she's headed to the medical room with the intent to help Gojo, I imagine it'd shock Shoko & the others. Would they know what she intends or not? Would they think it's possible? Would they try to stop her?

This is super insane & bordering on headcanon (lol, I warned you), but wouldn't it be amazing if she could have possibly managed to achieve Domain Expansion during her long absence in the manga post-Shibuya? What if it was kept a secret from all? What if as soon as Gojo laid his Six Eyes on her after his unsealing, he knew? What if that's one of the things they were cultivating, planning around, during the time-skip? Could it have offensive abilities involving her voice, like a siren? Like maybe she can make the enemy do her bidding or de-buff them? What if it's the opposite & instead has healing/buffing abilities? Any ally inside it would be in a state of max HP? Now, whether she would use it to actually heal Gojo or in combat, who knows.

I once read a wonderful one-shot fic in which Utahime achieved DE by finally accepting everything about herself, which included her suppressed feelings for Gojo. I know it's fully delulu but do we really know Utahime's full abilities? How is she a Semi-Grade 1 sorcerer if she can only buff (unless her CT is seen as good enough to warrant the rank)? Come on, Gege, stop wasting her character potential.

Remember that Sukuna still hasn't been taught about love? Based on Yorozu's version of it, his idea of love is to become vulnerable enough to connect with others & not feel lonely anymore by being defeated in battle; basically, get humbled, lol. He thought only Gojo could teach him how to overcome the barrier between himself & others deemed weak. But how would that be now, if Gojo's possibly in a state of limbo? (Is it another hint to his return?) The only other people that could possibly teach Sukuna are pure-hearted souls like Yuuji or Yuuta, the latter whom has also experienced romantic love. However, Yuuta just "discarded" his humanity by choosing to become a "monster", so Sukuna may throw that in his face. Taunt him & the other sorcerers for going against their ideals to defeat him.

What if it's not one person, but multiple that will teach Sukuna? Nakama power, y'all. What if Utahime could be one of those? She's the most pure-hearted sorcerer besides Yuuji. Her love for her students, helping Gojo whenever he asked despite her "hate" towards him, her not getting that Mei was asking for money to promote her in S2E1 (and Mei didn't even push it as if knowing Uta would never agree), her not being informed about the assassination attempt on Yuuji at the Goodwill Event by Gakuganji & her students (not even by Gojo, who suspected something), & she wasn't even present at the meeting for the brain switch plan...

It's like Utahime is being protected and/or her comrades know that she would never support all this immorality. She's a selfless person, often seen risking her life or attempting to for others in her little screentime. Not to mention that her CT is literally named after a love song. If romantic love were to be addressed at all in this fight, besides Yuuta, could Utahime play a role there? Her giving her all to help Gojo while Gojo had done his all to protect her during his fight with Sukuna? (You know, since it's still too sus that Sukuna doesn't know about her CT... Gojo entrusted Ijichi, the man he trusts the most, to keep Utahime safe for her ritual...)

I've talked about this image before but I may have discovered something interesting: the Angel Number 3612. Gojo's revival could be on the horizon... I elaborate in this post.

(Shoutout to some other amazing theories out there on Utahime's potential in helping Gojo. As a shrine maiden here & here, or even as Buddha's wife here, for example. These are seeming more & more plausible to me now, since Gege mercilessly threw a wrench at us in 261... I'm coping hard).

Having a plan unrelated to Gojo's revival is still possible. One thing I've seen thrown around is what if Utahime & team will try to stop the merger? If we go with the idea that Utahime has healing abilities for spirits, could it be that she could help restore Tengen's soul or something, like at least bring her back to her previous state before Kenjaku took over? Help her regain consciousness if she lost it? (FULL DELULU, I KNOW).

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Utahime's only a minor side character, I know that 😮‍💨. Her having such an important role & any other formidable abilities may seem like a reach, but at this point, I need something to hold onto. I don't wanna lose hope like several others have. It's hard but... As long as it's not 100% confirmed that Gojo's dead, then there is still hope... There's still so much we don't know... His choice of north & south is still up in the air, his answer to Geto's old question, his reaction to everything that happened during his time in the Prism Realm, what happened in the Prism Realm, what he did during the one month time-skip... Gege, come on...

The fact Sukuna still doesn't know about Utahime's CT is something I can hold onto, right? I will ride this wave until it crashes onshore.

[honeycreammilkshake]

Hey so idk if you know about this, but in Japan the politicians are going ham on trying to get BL and GL censored and illegal (???)

And with how gege likes bl, gl, and a lot of queer romances in general, do you think if he didnt play it safe, sukuita would have been canon?

i think i've read about the recent backlash on yaoi/yuri/etc in japan. and i'm really happy gege came out in support of queer series. i feel like it means a lot that they did that.

i also have a feeling that gege knew exactly what they were doing when they made sukuna and yuuji so shippable, but i'm also sure that jjk being a shounen would have prevented sukuita from being canon either way, only because then the series would technically be classified as yaoi or bl instead. and since this was marketed as shounen, it's highly unlikely that the publishers will allow it turn into bl (especially now that there's more censorship of yaoi).

however, gege still (so unsubtly) went out of their way to give us some of the most bl-looking scenes between yuuji and sukuna.

i mean just look at this!!! sukuna is like some kind of lovesick kitten, trailing after yuuji the whole time, yet insisting he's nothing more than an intimacy-hating stray who can't stand any kind of closeness or warmth. but if that's the case, why cling so much to yuuji, who (may i remind you) was the only guy to treat sukuna as human??? i don't know, kinda looks like you're a bit needy for that affection, sukuna.

then there's them constantly taunting each other like boyfriends that can't stop being competitive for one moment. (over the literal smallest of stuff, too. you know the infamous king of curses couldn't care less what kind of crayfish he got if he wasn't with yuuji... he constantly has to show us - so painfully unsubtle - just how much yuuji gets to him.)

but at least he gets to one-up yuuji during archery... though of course the brat isn't as impressed as he should be. (you can just sense the hurt pride dripping off of sukuna's words after yuuji said playing with him wasn't enticing.)

i mean, this whole chapter just made me feel like sukuna is like those tsundere guys in yaoi who can't tolerate having feelings for the cute protagonist everyone loves, so they have to be as edgy-looking and rude as possible whenever their crush comes around. (and then their crush is just 10x nicer to them because of it, which only makes them even more insecure and angry.)

sukuna, it looks like you're repressing lots...

... especially with whatever you got going on here—

(do you think gege drew this with a nosebleed?)

and just when you thought it couldn't get any gayer... these two are pretty much canonical soulmates whose fates have been chained together since before they even met.

(i think i'm noticing a trend with how gege draws them like this —back to back, two parts of a matched set, all but fused together.)

it reminds me of those yaoi manga where the protagonist becomes an unwilling (at first) bride to the monster guy everyone else hates but then slowly starts falling in love with him despite everything because oh maybe he isn't so evil after all.

and though the most recent chapter have really made it seem like yuuji has been pursuing sukuna in this way, let's not forget that sukuna was also the biggest flirt with yuuji before all the feelings hit him far too hard.

sukuna, you've known yuuji for only a few days and you're already feeling up his heart? isn't that usually not until the 3rd or 4th date?

so he does something like that but then has the nerve to act all coy with yuuji later on...

"it's annoying" he says but he's smiling. he looks almost excited. (yes, we know you like yuuji looking up at you without permission, sukuna, we get it already. you don't have to spell it out for us so obviously.)

and yuuji, honey, you know he's into that, right? stop falling for his thinly-veiled traps; you know he loves to bait you like this, you're just feeding his ego. (and also i can't forget to mention just how frustrated sukuna gets when yuuji does ignore him!)

oh and remember that fighting is how sukuita flirts, just in case you didn't pick up on that already.

they look so excited to be doing this right now — yuuji's unhinged grin, sukuna's "fight me" eyes... (mappa, it's a crime that you didn't animate this ;-;)

i'm crying, they could have done comedy together.

also... why are they grinning at each other like this?

sukuna's sitting on top of you, yuuji so why are you looking up at him with that completely unhinged look on your face? (i would say get a room but isn't that what innate domains more or less are?)

and again. if we didn't understand it perfectly well enough already, gege doesn't want us to forget that sukuna just loves it when yuuji fights back.

just look at his feral grin at the idea of yuuji trying to take him on... he loves messing with this brat.

and although sukuna and yuuji are never officially married, the fate they're forced to is almost exactly just that. in sickness and in health (mostly sickness) they are bound to each other, and only death does them part.

crazy how they got divorced TWO times...

.... yet they still can't escape whatever threads them together

even if it's not explicitly stated, it's still heavily implied that yuuji was the one to set sukuna on this different path, to remind him of whatever humanity he had left.

he was the one to connect with sukuna as the king of curses was dying.

to hold him gently and remind him that the monster he is was a matter of chance, that they could have shared that same curse if yuuji hadn't had his grandfather to provide him the fulfillment he needed while sukuna didn't have that in his own life.

to even propose that they could live together, even if he alone would accept such a thing.

it's like something straight out of a doomed romance story. i've never seen such romantic dialogue even in actual bl romance.

and if the heartbreakingly, over the top romantic dialogue wasn't enough, this is their official art, too:

like does any of this look straight to you? (also sukuna can't stop trying to get his hands all over yuuji, it's insane.)

i think it's pretty clear that sukuita is essentially canon already. and short of gege drawing them violently making out with each other (which, technically, that's what fighting is like for them) that crazy one-eyed cat made it nearly transparent that sukuita is actually a thing.

gege, you're THE shipper. to think they got away with inserting the most wonderfully messed up and fascinating yaoi story into a shounen series about a boy who literally sticks his enemy's fingers in his mouth is just crazy.

[jarimaa]

Gojo Satoru

I once said that he doesn't prioritise personal connection, but it's more nuanced than that, so very badly worded from my part.

Gojo very much understood personal connections and relationships.

Gojo however loves being the strongest, he loves his strength, revels in it infact and wouldn't give up on it for anything, even if it caused him loneliness and that's why his dehumanisation comes from HIMSELF too. He is fine being a tool and being lonely if it means he can have his strength. Yes, his mindset is fucked up, that's the point.

That's why I never subscribed to all the "bring back nerfed" theories because chapter 236 made it ever clear.

Sukuna calls him (and kashimo) greedy, because unlike sukuna who thinks "love" is worthless, gojo very much wants both connections AND strength.

It wasn't that people were not reaching out to him, it's just that, he wouldn't stoop to their level, he wanted them to become stronger so that they can become as strong as him, so no one is lonely, so that strength doesn't isolate them like it did with him.

He pushes away people while at the same time craves attachment and understanding, but since he would NEVER give up on his strength, that results into largening the gap/distance even more. He causes his own misery and is ready to live with it.

The recent chapter was pretty much very consistent with his portrayal, he fully committed to his role by becoming the monster he was stopping himself from being all these year, for his students. Even in this chapter yuta very much reached out to him, in a way gojo couldn't to geto during that kfc meet, but it's gojo who again decided that it's his burden to bear alone. His was being reached out, it's HIM who didn't close the gap.

People are not ok with him just being treated like a tool and just being seen for his strength, but my point is, when has he ever had any identity beyond being "The strongest," not to imply he doesn’t have any other identity at all, but everyone always prioritized his identity as the strongest, EVEN he himself.

That's the reason why he loved his youth so much and considered it the best time of his life, because then, he had BOTH, strength and a equal buddy (geto), that's why that friendship lasted such huge impact on him. (Also imma just say here, people both underestimate and overestimate his relationship with geto, it's very funny to watch)

People were complaining about characters seeing him as a tool, but they were quite unironically doing the very same thing. Putting him on pedestal, using him to continue being in series for their own happiness and enjoyment of the series, not respecting his wishes from chapter 236, and treating him the same way characters within the story do with him.

Also, you can dislike the way he was treated, that's precisely the point, but don't go around claiming the gege assassinated his own writing because your dislike ≠ bad writing. People are using morality of their real life within a story where everything is being questioned, the so called "good guys" of the story keep repeating that they are not heros, most of them are murderers themselves.

The curses are showing humanity, everything related to normal human morality is being questioned.

So the "he would be happy powerless" doesn't work because thats what YOUR morality tells you (its fine to feel that way), but he most likely wouldn't be happy with it, he isn't a real person either lol. Dude has nasty aspects to him, it’s one of them, they add more to his character, he is selfish (and selfless too), and let him be like that.

In the very end, Gojo very much managed to raise a bunch of students who will carry his will, he is alive in them.

Peace out ✌️

Pretty much my rant after this chapter because of the discourse going around is creating wayyy too many misinterpretations. Also I don't care what you think of the series as long as you just stop forcing your beliefs on others and saying its bad writing, when it's not. I don't think a character can exist outside of the narrative or story he was created in, gojo is amazing because of jujutsu kaisen story, outside of it, who is he?

[2econd2ight2aver]

Are Gojo and Geto gay?

Well it's complicated. Let's set some things straight, neither of them have been confirmed nor denied anything, and a romantic relationship is not expicitely stated, as their relationship is different according to each person interpretation of their interactions.

That said, it's completely fine if you watched the show and thought of them as completely straight and platonic besties. But we can theorize and speculate for fun!

Spoilers for Jujutsu Kaisen

Firstly, I'd like to mention the fact that they both died in the same day. December 24th. That in it of its self isn't romantic, it's just showing us their connection. But in Japanese culture, Christmas eve is considered to be one if the most romantic days of the year. It's kinda like a Japanese Valentines day, where people celebrate love by eating KFC together.

No, I'm not kidding. KFC is seen as a Christmas tradition in Japan, and also a love symbol. And where did our little guys have their little break up infront of? A KFC.

I can't find the real picture so this all you get.

It surely wasn't just a design coincidence, since it was both in the manga and the anime. Gege must've put that intentionally, and I must admit it's funny as fuck.

Also, that scene in Jujutsu Kaisen where GoJo gives Yuuta (fuck that bitch cunt whore I hope he dies thatt little emo fucker killed my fuckung husband because he promises to fuck his monster girlfriend later, fuck him and 60 family generations) his lost ID that Geto found. And Yuuta (the sheer audacity of this man to exist makes me want to forcefeed him fentanyl and chop his balls off) thanks him, to where Gojo responds "I didn't find it, my best friend did. No, my only friend."

I found that weird because why did he call Geto his only friend when Shoko also was his friend? Maybe they had a deeper connection neither of them wanted to admit?

My bitch ass in that scene:

When talking about Gojo and Geto relationship you have to mention that even if Gege wanted to make them gay he couldn't since Japan, ironically is a homophobic country. Many people get canceled for making characters gay and many shows don't get aired in Japan because of the homosexual characters. And imagine what would happen if Gojo, arguably the most recognizable anime and manga character in all modern media was made out to be gay. The reaction that would have.

Gojo also stated in his death that the only regret he had is that Geto wasn't there to give him a pat in the back. (I'm not crying, you are)

The opening of the hidden inventory arc which is Geto and gojo when they were younger has a certain song which if you read the lyrics can actually tell you a lot about their relationship.

The song is Where our blue is:

If you read into the lyrics you'll relative it's mad from the perspective of Satoru talking about Suguru. I will now put some translated lyrics:

There's nothing to block the front of my eyes.

Your silence... it becomes...inaudible

Even if these days fade away

Even if I've come to know your scent,

different from mine,

In the depths of eternity, left behind.

It's like a quiet love in the summer,

Like colours running down my cheeks.

The words that curse you are stuck in the back of my thoat,

Will we meet again?

A voice that cannot be heard.

We were supposed to share everything

But since that day, little by little

The curse of me being different than you grows

The sorrow behind your smile,

Regretting from what I had overlooked.

To you, who blooms and scatters

Like transient flowers,

Goodbye.

Okay, I don't know about you but I personally don't refer to my platonic bestie as a "quiet love in the summer" or "transient flowers".

Also, I wonder that if the lyrics that said :"The words that curse you are in the back of my throat. Will we meet again? A voice that cannot be heard" Refers to when Getos death, Gojo said something we as the audience cannot hear, a voice that cannot be heard and Geto responds to that "Now in my death the least that you could do was swear me with some curses" the words that curse you are on the back of my throat.

Now, I could talk about the airport scene but I would start hysterically crying so not today. But they did meet again. In death. Someone kill me I cannot do this today

So, in conclusion, It depends on your interpretation, but you if want the answer to the question I'll respond that Gege wanted them to be gay but since he can't do that due to the Japanese culture, so he just heavily hinted at that.

[busbybub]

261 jjk no one is born blessed everyone is born cursed and will die cursed that’s the whole storyline baby girls I hate to say it.

A story about powerful men using children soldiers to fight a war they don’t fully understand. Children losing their humanity, dying a bit more everyday until their demise. Not even a cog in a machine just a mere tool, used and easily disregarded once they no longer serve a purpose. Characters that not only didn’t get a chance to live but also don’t even get to die.

Gojo a character created to suffer, a character born with the sin of changing the world for the worst. A character forced to sacrifice everything, to never be given an ounce of humanity. A character that lived purely out of guilt for the suffering his existence caused and did everything in his power to make the world a better place for the next generation.

Geto realising someone has to be the villain, someone who did everything right, everything they were told to do and achieved nothing. I mean he saw Riko choose herself and wish to live get shot right in front of him. A character who sacrificed everything and it still wasn’t enough. Gojo only fully comprehending this after his demise. The anger, the guilt, the unimaginable amount of suffering.

Megumi who never got the chance to reach his potential, who just wanted to keep the ones he loved safe. But instead had to watch his potential be used to destroy everything he held close to him.

Yuta a teenager having to mourn his teacher and himself at the same time. A character that knew he was becoming a monster and wanted to die, forced to live and sacrifice his humanity to be a monster. To be a weapon.

Yuji born to protect forced to be protected. Born to sacrifice himself for others forced to watch others sacrifice themselves. He’s not sidelined he’s simply not being allowed to become the monster he was born to be.

Nobara desperate for freedom and connection flying to close to the sun. Just wanted a chance, a space to belong.

Maki desperately trying to make something of her self leaving her toxic family behind sacrificing her relationship with her sister. Then having to watch her sister sacrifice herself for maki to reach her potential.

Nanami who could never escape his guilt and couldn’t find a purpose away from his trauma. Accepting the responsibility to protect the next generation from suffering his friends fate ultimately accepting that fate for himself.

Not a single happy character huh. The red string of fate is suffocating. Pureeee evil gege. What have you been through?

[kel-lance]

Jjk headcanons/fan theories/ random thoughts/random facts

I made this in a few months time so its prob repetitive

Tsumiki went into her year and 7 month long coma when megumi was 13-14 years old meaning tsumiki missed her sweet 16 :( (she’s a year older than him)

Toji was a good dad in the end (both times) bc he was already dead and told Gojo to take Megumi as a F u/later fix the alliance’s of the clans and to make sure that Megumi would be protected, fed, housed, and taught sorcery bc toji damn well couldn’t much less protect his kids from curses anyhow.

Noaya (and the men of the Zenin clan) abused Mai and maki bc they’re women (implied SA) noaya hinted at asking to beats em up like he used to (could be implied bc he called them hot & Mai has the same face) but he was also possibly teasing since Mai just 💀 but there’s no way he could have known that

It’s worse to be a male Zenin with no cursed energy bc then you’d be absolutely powerless, useless, worthless, etc. no other clan woman would want you and your fam would never coughed for you much less protect you bc why do they have to you were born a Zenin and yet…

So we know Kokichi Toji Mai n maki all were hit with HR but it was just a double whammy to also be twins? Yes. HR hit Toji so hard bc he was the first to be without cursed energy but then Nanako and Mimiko, bc they’re fraternal twins that that’s possible they’re able to both have CE?

Kenjaku stayed in Iori for so long that his stitches healed I’m guessing he planned it all (or saw hat happened which is why he chose Jin (bc there’s no way that’s random) and killed Jin and went to Geto when it was time (did Ken know about the KFC break up too??)

maki had no CE but still couldn’t get in tune with her full potential is bc Mai was there this the twin HR is f’d but there’s probably more chance one could 💀 the other to become powerful but in this instance it was about sacrifice and distance love. Different paths yet they were “the same person” so that’s only with identical twins?

sukuna loves to eat and is a cannibal and lactates and has 4 arms, 6 mouths or more, 20 fingers, many eyes, 4 legs, 10 toes, 3 heads, hopefully 9ft tall in his monster form…. 

stg toji had his divorced dad rock on religiously (nickel back fan don’t even start w me, weezer son nickleback dad)

nobara gonna be used in some way theres no reason to have her status as unknown of not to edge us istg I’ll even take a cursed spirit piloting her to mess with Yuuji more and she’s part of sukuna or some even worse group they gotta fight after the culling game arc

after chapter 253 are maki and yuta dead?? Hopefully Yuta was eaten but on Yutas birthday gege thats foul (I love it) 🫣🤩

It’s past ch253 and we’re waiting for 3/24 for the next chapter but I heard yuta yelled at Hakari to shut up with cursed speech? Or was that earlier 

Maki Mai and Megumi and Tsumiki met probably around the time tsumiki went into that coma/megs entered jjk no wonder hes so formal//doesn’t know them well he was under gojos protection for so long

some jsckass said mais first love is unknown or megumi are you dumb shes in love with her sister no sister kissed the other to give them a sword cooly and die she literally just wanted to be with her no matter what to go to the ends of the earth it didn’t matter as long n as maki was with her but maki knew Mai’s potential to be better than her so she tried to make herself better, leaving Mai behind in the process and they still never hated each other even after all the time away.

mai likes to take care of cacti/the clan favored her over maki bc she has at least some CE//weve only seen maki being affected by her family's rejection (jjk0 makis mom said shed wished shed never have given birth to her as she was a failure and same girlie but my mom chose any and everyone to compare me to) but Mai either didn’t see herself special in that way and put the blame on maki or dealt with it in her own way (maki vs the fam excluding Mai and Megumi // whereas Mai’s version US against the world)

if choso is yuujis brother and kamo is one of chosos distant family, that would mean Yuuji, Choso, Yuki, Todo, and Kamo are all "Brothers" I love the thought of them being super cool and scary together with their cute yuki & Yuuji golden retrievers in a Doberman family

the same people who ship yuki and choso also ship utahime and gojo or shoko and gojo yall have NO comprehension skills at ALL or cant believe men n women b close like Yuuji & Nobara/Power & Denji/ Sasha & Connie/ Nami & Usopp, Franky, or Luffy) 

Kenny planted the first finger by Geto’s twins to Yuuji’s school. they just had to get the finger to the occult club 

Does Kenny have a witch or oracle or even premeditative powers to know the future or did he just plan this out to a T and what is his damn goal 

Yuuji and Yuta are from the same home town bc gege said it’d be easier for the story but then todo also went to Yuuji’s middle school

Nobara dyes her hair lighter and I wonder how often she talks to Fumi back at home. And her grandmother if she’s like me w low contact

Megumi was alone with gojo for almost 2 years (no tsumiki) no wonder he’s so to himself he was probably always with tsumiki before, who decided everything for them (in a big sis way) and he respected it 

Yutas a pos for forgetting how Rika 💀 then trapping her w him bc of how traumatized he was like bruh you also yelled at her the first time u ever yelled at Rika was over another girl and he doesn’t do much else but manipulate like the Pisces man he is (I kin him/made an oc before I found out about his BITCH ass and he got everything word for word but is a dude I’m losing it) 

As an astrologer, I must say Gege’s planning with the character birthdays and everything else I can read from that is incredibly accurate I’ll give examples in the next points

geto’s mission was to go to remote village, he finds curse and exorcizes it, finds the twins the next dy, he kills everyone, he goes back to his pants to get supplies and kills them (prob no his first choice but once again was probably proven right) and runs has been gone for way too long and gojo doesn’t know what th ehhell happened. which is why he was so mad at kfc and geto just had to accept his new role while gojo was still in the past

Toji and Megumi (Kamo, Nobara, Todo) being cancer moons meaning they care about the heart, (todo has other placements making it seem a lil more “shallow” when he just wants a “straight” answer (lmao Megumi)

Yuta being a Leo moon and (outwardly asked) liking the chest

Yuuji being a libra moon liking butts all this makes sense (libra moons are indecisive, will weight out all the possibilities and still want the peaceful side unless there’s such chaos there’s no way for that to happen… then we snap)

Yuuji and Junpei would’ve been perfect friends we already saw but they both just didn’t ask for any of this and chose their own paths, they’re almost parallels of each other 

Geto’s birthchart shows a lot more of wanting to get humanity to evolve where gojos looks more like a POWERFUL cog in the machine 

Yap: Gege basically made this for women I’m sorry boys but why all the beautiful men & perfectly written women & relationships maybe it’s just a rare case where the mangaka actually knows women (or gege is a woman 🤗) & how all the dudes fit a Yaoi archetype & the women,,, they’re perfect & cute & not sexualized (other than maki in jjk0 & the glasses girl in ep 1 getting groped) but everything else is just hot w/o taking ur clothes off kinda energy & thats INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT w everything else going on 

You think something broke in Meimei when she said she wanted to be comforted and Gojo was like bruh I was joking 🙃 

Kirara and Uranme’s gender is yes 👍🏼 

Geto raising the girls as a 17-18yr old is insane same age as Megumi and gojo so for how long was Geto their dad? Inbetween 10 years but when did the girls realize that that wasn’t their dad anymore? I’m guessing Kenny can remember the vessel he takes overs memory or does something to their brain to replace it w him

I doubt a male mangaka can write good women (mostly bc of the stereotype that they’re shut ins but also from just reading/watching with my own eyes and being a woman myself) and add them in correctly, though the thing is in jjk they’re all just in a world but in Naruto and berserk and stuff she’s the add in into /their/ world where they keep fighting bc they miss each other and she gotta be used and a pillar for them or an excuse like Nobara and shoko weren’t used like that by satsug and itafushi they were their own ppl w their own sh like don’t get me wrong vasca and Sakura also were their own people but they really were given the bottom of the barrel sh bc of the dudes decisions. Shoko and Nobara strictly did what they wanted instead of falter to men

They’re literally all kids it doesn’t matter if some are weaker or useless, imagine a god/demon came here rn like the strongest will survive/fight you have to also apply the “weak characters” to irl bc I bet you they’re still stronger than most of us (miwa, Kamo, idk about momo still but she been w them I can’t doubt her skill just cause they had POWERFUL enemies

Gojo not being able to drink makes sense no drugs to impair his power and eyes (maybe lightweight maybe uncontrollable drunk and no one’s really ready or able to control that) 

Gojo isn’t coming back and he wouldn’t bc he half assed the fight and now he’s with his love and everyone has to fend for themselves now 

I like to think Gojo had Megumi and tsumiki, Geto had Nanako and Mimiko and nanami had Nobara and Yuuji in this preschool/parent AU (tojis gojos ex baby daddy) 

All of them are taller than me other than momo and Nobara. (Im 5’4” so gojos 10 years older and a foot taller 🫣) 

In one of Geges book covers it has Gojo in the winter w pink camellias and those flowers mean ily even after death and that flower is also specifically for the birthday feb3 (Geto’s) AGAIN WHY I THINK GEGES A WOMAN RAHHHHH

Maki, Mai, Toji, Kamo, Kokichi were all raised w no love like at all. Yuta had it good til 11, Miwa, yuuji and megumi never fully had it good, todo, Toge (?), Panda, momo, and nobara were just chillin.

HOW DID NOBARA COME UP WITH HER TECHNIQUE THEYRE ALL EMO BITCHES SHE WAS LITERALLY 16 FOR 2 MONTHS BEFORE HER FACE BLAST

SHE WAS SO YOUNG HOW DID SHE COME UP WITH HAMMERING NAILS INTO HERSELF WHAT

Uranme and Kirara go by (they/them)

Gojo and Geto were soulmates no matter the relationship

Utahime, Shoko, Momo, Mai and Nobara all like girls 

Gojo knew Geto for the short amount of time but thought of him for 5x longer.

Megumi’s been without his sister for 1.5 years so she went into a coma when he was 13, his 2nd-3rd year of junior high)

  Mai and maki didn’t know about Toji and Megumi until that year (2018)

Kenjaku planted the first finger at Yuuji’s school by Nanako and Mimiko (they’re the same age) hence why thanking Satsuki for taking care of his son

The person Rika is gone, her cursed spirit is what remains (an embodiment of her love/the curse yuta placed on her)

Yuta is wrong for using Rika and forgetting about his promise and why she’s even there for 6 YEARS then yelling at her about Maki 

Shoko started smoking in high school and stopped about 5 years ago, but started again when she heard Geto was alive again. 

Sukuna has 6 mouths, 4 arms, 4 legs, many eyes, and lactates. 

Choso, Yuuji, Kamo, Todo, and Yuki are all “brothers” by blood or not idc i love their lil weirdo family.

Toji was a good dad, dealt the worst hand, everything going down so the best way to protect his kids is to give them to people who can kill curses and teach them about sorcery. 

Nobara and Yuuji have the same friendship as Power and Denji, Nami and Franky/Luffy/Usopp

[lxmelle]

Sukuna’s Choice.

I was truly struck by his stubborn resolve. He really stuck to his guns.

He was adamant he did not and could not live another way - as if anything different than what he had achieved would make him “weak”… maybe he did not know how to, or he had just decided so.

We see that he hated the idea that he was given compassion by Yuji - seeing it as pity from him.

Yuji saw him for what he was - as someone who had opportunity after opportunity to find deeper meaning but cast it away; as someone, who was desperate enough to turn himself into objects - for no other purpose than to prolong a hedonistic existence that sought momentary self-satisfaction for himself, alone.

He saw him as a curse to be given a chance… that maybe nobody ever had before - a chance without any conditions aside from being willing to accept his offer.

And it was pity in the end for Sukuna for rejecting salvation and anything to do with humanity. Even when he was shown so much. Given chances to experience it through the eyes of both Megumi and Yuji.

At the point of death, when given the choice to live with Yuji after his defeat, he preferred to die.

This was aligned with his unchanged view that: loss was no different to death. This was in his conversation with Yorozu.

His resilience only went as far as jujutsu. If he wasn’t the strongest, there was no reason for his life or existence. He boxed himself in. As if fearing what he might discover about his worth & identity beyond the Title.

Some people on X expressed their desire to understand him, asking aloud, was he afraid of death?

I honestly don’t know. My instincts doubt it was fear, but maybe there was a subconscious fear of vulnerability that comes with connection, so I think he didn’t see the value in loving or being loved. As if he accepted that he was just alone in this dog-eat-dog world. Disregarded value in connecting with anyone in any other way aside from jujutsu.

Like those who accepted the “monster” in them, none of them thought anyone will care about their bodies after death (think: Geto who didn’t think his family could care “run away if the mission fails”, Gojo who said who cares about one’s corpse, yet said “I want to mourn Suguru’s body”, Toji who wilfully forgets his children but tells Gojo about Megumi in his dying breath: “do what you want” and kill’s himself when his body information is resurrected, and Yuta who didn’t want Gojo to alone be the monster and volunteers himself: “I’ll do it!” singularly ignoring his friends’ concern for him) — Sukuna didn’t think anyone would mourn him. He left no afterthought for Uraume. Who killed themselves after he died. He didn’t want to care. He was prepared to let Yorozu have all of him if he lost which he equated to death.

Because if you consider (and accept) yourself as important to others, you realise your worth and value too. You may want to live again. Recreate purpose. Find new meaning. New beginnings. Like Megumi did...

Sukuna did not (could not?) even want to entertain the idea of living another way. He’d rather die than open his heart to humanity or compassion.

Funnily enough he was strangely “kind” in his own way. He was so objective in his monstrosity that he saw no nuance. He praised others based on jujutsu alone and how they entertained him. He had the capacity to be “human” but complete rejected it. Rejected any outer purpose...

He did not want to have any reason to live if it wasn’t to prove his strength. He did not want to compromise his own version of personal integrity. Instead of enjoying the taste and texture of human life through emotions and relationships - he ate people and enjoyed that! The absolute monster he chose to become in wielding his strength.

We saw Gege write about so many others, not only limited to the main characters… others like Kamo, Maki, Kusakabe, Higuruma, Choso, Yuta, etc. about meaning, purpose, humanity, sacrifice, & love. How they all tie together. How we change as we let others touch our hearts. How being vulnerable truly connects us.

I’ve written before about how it wasn’t for Gojo to teach Sukuna about love, although he played a big part in what was overall conveyed to him… Love that existed between everyone who identified as human, who fought for their own and collective reasons, against Sukuna. We got to bear witness - see and experience - the myriad of thoughts, emotions and reasons behind so many of their unique stories... it sang about meaning and purpose in sacrifice as well as determination.

What an ode to humanity in the face of a desperate situation.

Because if we think about it, the opposite of antidote of Monstrosity is Humanity. Being willing to love another besides yourself = accepting/wanting belonging, embracing the responsibility of being accountable to someone out of/for their love… all these include a willingness to be vulnerable.

Something Sukuna would never accept.

Sukuna was afraid to be vulnerable. If it wasn’t fear, then he actively rejected it. I suspect it was because he saw it as being weak.

Maybe he never knew love; but through what he lived & learned back in the Heian times up until now, saw its power to transform even a monster who aspired to be like him, so he deemed it worthless. Him and Uraume talked about humanity being the thing that prevented them from reaching their potential, after all.

Why should he change if he was already so strong? What was the purpose of connecting to any other being when he was at the top of the food chain? There was no need to give himself a “weakness” through caring for another.

His survival was the singular proof of his perceived worth.

And that seems like what he clung onto. Instead, he ate the actual humans as if they were flavours, because that was the ultimate rejection of humanity - to consume people as if they were food. To toy with them as if they were passing dishes until the next meal came along.

That’s just my interpretation... My understanding is that he chose death rather than accept the vulnerability that comes with love. Not for Uraume or from Yuji. His heart was solidly, fearfully, shut.

He only recognised skill & praised others for it. His chosen singular flavour.

Many of us thought there could be redemption for Sukuna. I guess it remains to be seen if Sukuna did actually choose to evaporate & die, but assuming he did opt to die, he really didn’t want to face another alternative. Choosing to remain on his path and die as the “Strongest”. I had thought that he’d see humanity from living within Yuji & Megumi - and he did, especially within Yuji’s domain expansion. He saw it and rejected it completely. What he disliked about Yuji & said to him at the end reminds me of what Jung said: we can learn about ourselves through what irritates us.

He praised Yuji for being a fool... but maybe Sukuna was the fool himself.

He played a role all the way through too.

He was the unwavering curse in the face of love / acceptance.

Jujutsu Kaisen is truly story about curses and love. Like two halves of one thing. The many ways a person can live their lives, and how it can make sense/is justifiable to them.

Who was he if he wasn’t revered or feared as the Strongest?

So… He stayed true to himself. He likened himself to a curse in the end. Love, once again, prevails.

Ah, I look forward to having a few reads of the whole series again when it is finished...

…but I’ll honestly be so very sad when it ends.

[sadistic-kiss]

🐺House of Alphas🐺

Waking up in a world that was not your own was problematic enough. Being the villainess was another. However, the possessive alphas might take the cake.

Disclaimer: Angsty but I ain’t Gege (aka I’m not a monster)

Omegaverse/JJK AU/Smut with Plot

Omega!Reader x Alpha!Sukuna x Alpha!Toji x Alpha!Nanami x Alpha!Gojo x Alpha!Getou

Chapter 30

~

…

Five attractive alphas that wanted to consume you in their desire.

Gojo was about to put you down but you squeaked holding on tightly as you hid your face in his neck. Did they have to lay you out like this?

Gojo chuckled at your cuteness. "What's wrong doll?"

"N-nothing." You lied.

"Aw~ poor baby." Getou's nails ran along your spine making you shudder.

Gojo covered your forehead in kisses, "Come on~ I know you want to take those toys out."

Getou's fingers skittered lower as he repeatedly tapped his nail upon the toy. Just that alone was enough for you to moan and then release a pitiful scream due to denial. Your body begging for what you so desperately craved deep down.

"Ooo~ how sensitive." Getou chuckled.

"Is this too much? Should we stop?" Nanami whispered to the others. He was the only one that had not slipped into smut smut land.

"No..." Toji spoke softly, "She's just shy." The bigger man leaned forward and nuzzled the side of your neck a little. "Can I see that pretty pussy princess?" His lips danced along your neck making you mewl and grip your thighs around Gojo's waist. “I wanna see how well you stretched yourself…for me…” The way he spoke made you feel he was proud of you. Like the thought of you stretching yourself, was the sweetest thing you could have done for him.

Your arms loosened enough for Gojo to lean forward and lay you down.

"Good girl." Toji praised you as Sukuna tugged your arm from Gojo's neck while Nanami was more gentle with your other arm, rubbing your hand gently. He even placed a few kisses on your fingers.

As soon as Gojo pulled back you tried to close your legs but Toji's hand slid upon your thigh as Getou pulled on your other, keeping you open for them to all observe.

"Don't hide from us princess."

"We've already seen it all."

"And yet her beauty always amazes me~."

"Hm-" you felt bashful as your alphas crowded above you making you dizzy.

..

~

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