#gee i wonder which season is one of my faves

[empiireans]

more performance thingies!!

decided to also draw storyteller and musician as a follow up to my dancer drawings. i will most likely do stagehand and performance next.

bonus sketch i did for funsies

[altschmerzes]

oh i'm FASCINATED to hear what your thoughts on lost are so far

FAIR WARNING this is probably not going to be very nice to the show so if you're a big lost enjoyer and don't wanna see that this would be the time to keep scrolling. sorry for the delay also. guy who has been typing his thoughts and then getting distracted on a loop for several days.

basically: i don't know why, but i have been deeply compelled to watch the show lost recently. like, i genuinely don't have an explanation. i know i'd seen like, half of season one about a million years ago and have no memory of any of it so this is functionally my first go through it.

in short: i think it has its strengths and its weaknesses. to me, more weaknesses than strengths. i know opinion degraded as time went on but even just where i am now, i do not know why this thing has the like 'one of the best shows of all time' reputation that it has. i really, truly don't. like, it's fine, sometimes it's even good, but like. why do people talk about this like it is the pinnacle of television. it is however like, almost hypnotically watchable, and i keep going through like, handfuls of episodes at once.

more under the cut.

in long: so i'm on the early early episodes of season 2 and i already know that most of this show is mystery boxes inside mystery boxes half of which never really have a payoff that's satisfying and so i'm pre-emptively frustrated by that. it's like.... i would love to be excited by the mysteries that come up, but instead of getting to excitedly wonder 'oh wow i wonder what the explanation for that will be!' i'm instead sitting here thinking 'gee i hope that's one of the ones we get an answer to.' it's not a great feeling, and mostly i'm like. man why do they keep giving jj abrams creative authority over things. he's a good director, why do they keep ruining that by letting him WRITE too.

also there is so much weird racism and misogyny in here lmao. gd.

anyways. moving on to specifics.

i will confess i am a sucker for disaster survival scenarios. it's half the appeal of any apocalyptic thing to me, and this delivers. i'm enjoying the mystery boxes when i can put aside the fact that i might not get to see inside them at all, depending. i think the flashbacks are well structured and sprinkled in with effective timing and degrees of revealed information. i think one of my fave parts is how much of like... the Weird Shit in the flashbacks is just. not clear about whether or not it's related to the island? were the numbers hurley used to win the lottery actually cursed? does disaster and death follow walt around or is his former stepdad just an asshole and it's all a coincidence? what was up with the fucking psychic claire talked to? etc. that's one of the ones where i'd be fully comfortable with that question never being answered. it's satisfying as hell just to wonder.

characters! the extent to which i do not give a single fuck about jack, kate, and sawyer is amazing. like. they're all so resoundingly uninteresting to me. i actively think everyone here would be better off if sawyer was dead, because even for me (noted asshole with a heart of gold enjoyer, I KNOW, I KNOW) he is A Bit Fucking Much. if he does not ease up soon it's gonna be Bad. i mean it's already bad but. lmao. his best moments so far were telling jack about what jack's dad said to him in the bar and saving michael after the raft is destroyed. kate is just... everything about her is so overwrought and i'm just bored and a little embarrassed every time we have something focusing on her. i do like that she's abjectly doing shady shit sometimes, they should lean into that more. gaslight gatekeep girlboss etc. jack is so nothing it's amazing. he is baymax to me. he is not even baymax, baymax had more of a personality. why is he the protagonist of this show, he is such a generic white dude audience insert character.

i really love sun, hurley, charlie, claire, michael, walt, and - when he is not YELLING AT HIS WIFE - jin is okay too. i also really enjoy sayid and i have to say that like. i think they have massively fucked it up with his writing in several points, it's like. stereotypical and almost comically racist at times but i also have to like... idk, i do have a significant degree of legitimate respect for the swing they took with him in the first place, to be honest. it's like. idk. this was a show that aired in 2004, written and filmed before that, and i know his character made a lot of people Big Fucking Mad to have in a show about a plane crash as an unambiguously sympathetic and positively depicted character, missteps in his writing and all. it doesn't excuse the mistakes made with him obviously but the context in which he was written makes me like. idk. appreciate the fact that he exists, and kinda tip my hat to like. you guys Tried saying something here. i gotta respect that.

jin and michael's odd-couple friendship is extremely charming to me. hurley is the sweetie of all time and i really love how he just... is willing to interact with people on a straightforward level no matter who they are or what's going on? locke cracks me the fuck up. like all his magic healing disability and general premonition shit aside, it's extremely funny to me to watch grandpa survivalist finally get to LARP his dreams of being a hardcore jungle man. he is fucking insane gd blass.

i will say um. the less said about shannon and boone the better. eugh. literally why would you do that. like... it throws me so much every time someone finds out about That Whole Mess and literally does not react at all. before somebody screams and whines and cries about how IT'S FINE TO EXPLORE TABOO SUBJECTS IN FICTION STOP BEING A PURITAN YOURE BEING A FAN COP WAAAAAAA i'm not saying you can never write this sort of thing just like. literally why is the entire narrative framing of it a tragic starcrossed lover thing. why is nobody reacting like this is as nasty and weird as it is. lmao.

anyways.

here's some clips from my watching it, mostly based in how fucking funny i think jack's whole Situation is.

[mariamermaid]

Crush

Modern! Harry Potter x fem!Granger!Reader

Summary: Y/N Granger, the absolute Queen amongst the students, with many admirers and even Harry himself, finds himself falling for his best friends sister.

Words: 2.7k

A/N: Requested anonymous: “heyaaa, can you make harry potter x fem reader in which the reader is hermonie's elder sister and very popular in the school and harry has massive crush on her? like the song crush by tessa violet?” I also decided to write this in a more modern style! I feel like all my Harry Potter imagines end at a party?? But who cares.

 Your laughter echoed through the hall before any of them could even see you. Harry immediately felt his heart speeding up, while Hermione next to him, only let out a sigh. You turned the corner and Harry, Hermione and Ron finally made eye contact with you. You had joked with Cedric Diggory and Harry felt an even deeper sting in his chest. Quickly, you waved your goodbye at the Hufflepuff boy before joining your sister and her friends.

“Mione, you look like seven days of rain were just announced!”

Hermione only rolled her eyes, no one really fully understood how the two of you were related. Ever since beginning your education a year prior to Hermione´s, you had been crowned one of the most popular students. Unlike her, who especially struggled with making friends in her first weeks, you were at ease with social contacts. Another difference was your approach at studying, you simply didn´t enjoy spending hours and hours at the library and yet, you weren´t bad at any subjects. You weren´t class best, but at the top five. Outgoing, adventurous, funny and charming; it was no wonder why everyone seemed to like you.

Usually, your popularity wasn´t a problem for your younger sister, but lately Hermione realized a changed she wasn´t very fond of.

Harry.

Within the past weeks, he had been daydreaming a lot and barely focused on anything anymore. And unlike Ron, who was probably last to find out if he wasn´t explicitly told, Hermione quickly realized why that was.

 I can't focus on what needs to get done

I'm on notice hoping that you don't run,

 “Haha, very funny Y/N!” You nudged her side grinning. “So, what are you guys up to anyways? Trouble I reckon?” Ron and Harry smiled as you chatted with them.

“Hermione makes us study for the upcoming potions exam”, Ron explained, which annoyed Hermione even more and you laughed lightly. “Ron, you should start listening to her, pretty sure she´s the only reason you haven´t failed.” You turned to the boy with the glasses.

“What about you Harry? Sentenced to study as well?”

Harry opened his mouth, but before any words left his lips, Hermione pulled him closer.

“Yes, his talent won´t let him pass all the exams!”

You gave the two boys a pitiful pout, but then switched back to your smirk.

“Anyways, I´ll have a date at Hogsmead to try on the upcoming summer collection!”

You think I'm tepid but I'm misdiagnosed

'Cause I'm a stalker, I seen all of your posts,

 Two hours later, Harry got a notification on his phone; Y/N uploaded a picture on Wizagram! Hermione, who was currently too focused on Ron, didn´t see how Harry sneakily took his phone and hid it beneath the desk. You stood smiling widely in the shop Feathers and Fabrics, wearing a dress from the newest collection. Even though you had posted the picture only minutes ago, the likes were already rolling in and the comments didn´t hold back as well.

Harry read your caption; Guys, this is only a small sneak peek, just wait there will be more!

 And I'm just tryna play it cool now

But that's not what I wanna do now

And I'm not tryna be with you now, you now

 A lot of the comments were from female students. “You look so stunning!”

But then again, a few of your male followers couldn´t hold back. “Gee Y/n, is it hot in here, or is you?”

Harry felt heat rushing up to his head, but tried to play it cool, so his friends wouldn´t notice. Quickly he hit like and put the phone away, trying to focus back on studying. But the words in front of him were beginning to blur and tumble. You weren´t dating anyone currently, but everybody knew you had enough options. Fred and George even made bets on it, secretly hoping one of them could win you for themselves. Each time the topic was discussed, Harry felt the pit in his stomach, digging deeper and deeper. He was the chosen one, but would you ever choose him?

Hermione noticed her friend beginning to trail off, but it wasn´t the right time to address it yet.

The weekend approached, the old game of Gryffindor against Slytherin was in everybody’s mouth. Harry was just getting dressed for the game, then his eyes fell back on his phone. He unlocked it and found himself back on Wizagram, you had posted a boomerang in your story with the Weasley twins. Both of them wore their Quidditch uniform and leaned forward to kiss your cheek. You wore a hat with the Gryffindor colors and a light dress in red, while grinning widely into the camera. “Rooting for my fave team!”

Both Fred and George as well the Gryffindor Quidditch Account, who was proudly run by Oliver Wood, were tagged in the story. Harry quickly scrolled past, realizing that each of the tagged Accounts had reposted your story. It was stupid to think you wouldn´t root for him, but he wasn´t tagged, was he?

It’s a stupid crush, Harry reminded himself, but even later when he stepped onto the field with the team, his eyes only searched for you in the crowd.

But you found his glance as well, offering him a reassuring smile. It´s all he needed, those very few seconds of your attention and the game started.

The game was at tie, but the rooting and shouts from the fans kept going either way. Harry tried to play cool as he searched the arena, secretly searching for you. As he found you again, you hadn´t even moved from your seat, he noticed your eyes guiding him. Just above the tower of the Hufflepuffs, the golden snitch hovered. He didn´t have time to rethink and his muscles moved on their own as he leaned forward to start rushing. Draco tried his best to follow, but he was at the other end, and Harry easily caught the snitch and held it up proudly.

“And Harry Potter proves again, Gryffindor is unbeatable this season!” The speakers echoed and the crowd went even more crazy than before. All Harry could think about however, was he had to thank you. But the moment he landed back on his feet, he was carried off to the Gryffindor room, where the party immediately started.

It felt like eternity, until he finally found you in the overfilled place. But there you stood, smiling innocently at him, like you had been waiting all along for him to approach.

“I think I owe you a thank you.”

 You make it difficult to not overthink

And when I'm with you I turn all shades of pink,

I wanna touch you but don't wanna be weird

It's such a rush, I'm thinking wish you were here,

 Harry had to lean forward in order for you to hear him, feeling as your hair brushed against his skin. You winked at him. “Yeah, you do, but we´ll keep it between us.”

He wanted to lean further, his hand twitched as he tried not to reach out and touch the bare skin of your arms. Even your smell felt divine to him. Before he could speak up again, Niall Atkinson, he was a year older than you, wrapped an arm around your waist.

“Y/n, let´s dance!” He offered loudly as he pulled you closer. In the same second, Ron, Fred and George swept Harry into their circle to begin dancing as well, even though it was more an uncontrolled jumping. Harry could only catch your apologizing glance, before the space closed and the two of you were pulled into different directions.

 And I'm just tryna play it cool now

But that's not what I wanna do now

And I'm not tryna be with you now, you now

 He truly wanted to celebrate the success with his team, but his attraction craved more of your presence. But what was he supposed to say? Sorry, I have to run after the girl, that everybody anyway wants and is also my best friends’ older sister, but my biggest crush?

No, he couldn’t.

So, he tried to overplay it, danced and jumped around with Ron, but the shine in his eyes was gone. Hermione sat on the stairs, glancing back and forth between you and Harry. She knew both of you well enough, to tell that neither of you were fully happy at the moment. An inaudible sigh escaped her mouth, what was once jealousy, turned into sadness. Yes, her best friend had the biggest crush on her sister, but what no one knew, was your crush. You had never told Hermione, or anyone for that matter, but the reason why you never accepted a date offer, was because the wrong people asked you out. Hermione didn´t fear losing Harry as a friend anymore, she much more feared that the two of you never even got a chance to be happy together, and instead ended unhappily alone. She had to do something.

Then, an idea formed in her brilliant mind.

You starred on your phone; Harry had sent you a dm on Wizagram. He had never texted you, your history simply persisted in you tagging him, when you posted stories. Usually, you hung around Hermione at the three broomsticks and more so often, you tagged the trio in your account.

I wanted to talk to you, can we meet outside at the corner to the girl’s bathroom?

Your heart skipped a beat, quickly you looked up to check, if anyone had noticed your blush, no one had. You couldn´t make out Harry either, but you quickly excused yourself from Niall. Whatever was happening, you found it quite exhilarating. You answered with a quick yes and Hermione hastily logged out of Harry´s account. Harry was a brilliant wizard with many talents, but writing down his password in his herbology book wasn´t the smartest move.

Hermione grinned, her plans always worked out.

 But I could be your crush, like, throw you for a rush, like

Hopin' you'd text me so I could tell you

I been thinking 'bout your touch like

 “Harry!” The brown-haired boy looked up to find his friend approaching him, Hermione smiled brightly. Almost too brightly, but Harry wasn´t focused enough to realize that something was up.

“Have you seen Y/n?”

Harry quickly shook his head and Hermione, good actress as she was, put on a thinking mien.

“I haven´t seen her as well, just wanted to make sure she´s okay, she´s been so quiet lately.”

“Quiet? I didn´t notice”, Harry explained and Hermione could literally watch how his thoughts began running around you. “I´m sure it´s nothing, but I think I´m going to check her room.”

“I can check outside!” Harry quickly announced, she had to suppress a laughter, he was easily tricked. But instead, Hermione nodded agreeing and while she only took the first few steps up, Harry hurried outside, not wasting any time. Only seconds before, you had left the room as well. Everything was coming together.

 Touch, touch, touch, touch, touch

I could be your crush, crush, crush, crush, crush

I got a fascination with your presentation

Makin' me feel like you're on my island

You're my permanent vacation

Touch, touch, touch, touch, touch

 You stood outside, hiding behind a corner and almost disappearing in a nook, but Harry immediately recognized your figure. You looked up from the phone in your hands and felt as a smile crawled upon your lips. Harry felt his heart fastening and he approached with swift feet.

“Hey, are you okay?” He asked with worries in his voice, your brows furrowed. Something felt off, but you pushed that feeling to the side. It was probably just your nervousness. “Yeah, I´m good, are you enjoying your party?”

Harry shrugged, his eyes traveling to the floor. “It´s always a bit of the same, isn´t it?”

You nodded agreeing and a short, awkward silence formed. “What was it, you wanted to talk to me about?”

Harry looked up, now confusion in his expression as well. He wondered, if you had noticed his change of behavior towards you. But he never mentioned it out loud, or did?

But you watched his reaction closely, something clearly was up and while Harry was still trying to piece everything together, you took out your phone again. Holding up the screen, which enlightened the dark hallway, you showed him the text.

“Y/n, I´m so sorry, I don´t know how… I didn´t send that text…” Harry stumbled over the words and regret rolled over him. It wasn´t his fault, and yet he felt responsible for pulling you away from the party. You on the other hand felt shame rising and your cheeks heated with fire. His text had seemed too surprising from the beginning on, you should´ve known better. You felt stupid and wanted to crawl into a deep, dark hole and never come out again. Stupid crush!

Letting out a loud sigh, you sat down on the bench of the nook, putting your hands to cover your face.

“Did you just say stupid crush?”

Oh, if it was heat in your cheeks before, then hell just got unleashed. Where is that hole of shame, when you needed it the most?

Harry carefully sat down next to you, with your hands still up, you only felt the slight air breeze. “I shouldn´t be saying this, you´re Hermione´s sister, but I like you.” He paused shortly.

“A lot. More than I ever should.”

Swiftly, you glanced through your fingers at him. “You do?”

Barely a whisper as you opened your mouth, but enough to watch as Harry nodded. Slowly you took down your hands, now starring at him with a blank expression.

“Why did you never say anything?”

Harry couldn´t help but huff. “Y/n, have you seen yourself? You´re school queen, nobody hates you, not even Draco Malfoy! You´re always on top of the grades and basically the entire Quidditch team has a crush on you. On the side, you´re head girl and you´re modeling for Feathers and Fabrics. And to all that, you don´t even realize, how undeniably stunning you look and how your kind words inspire me every day?”

 I could be your crush, crush, crush, crush, crush

Sorry

And yeah, it's true that I'm a little bit intense, right

But can you blame me when you keep me on the fence, like?

And I've been waitin', hopin' that you'd wanna text like

Text like

It's what I was born to do

And yeah, it's true that I'm a little bit intense, right

 As he spoke, you jumped off your seat, feeling a wave of way too many feelings rave inside of you. “Harry Potter!”

Finally, he looked up as well and just to find you gaping at him. “Why by Merlin´s beard, would I care about the Quidditch team? Do you think I don´t know about the bets going on, on who´s going to be my boyfriend? The only reason because I don´t have a boyfriend yet, is because the only boy I´m interested in, was too shy to ask me out! And imagine, he´s brave enough to fight Voldemort instead!”

It was Harry´s turn to search for that hole of shame and he couldn´t help, but facepalm himself. There was no way that the situation could’ve been more awkward and playing cool wasn´t an option either. You listened to your heartbeat slowing down and your chest lifted heavily after your outburst.

“If I had known about your crush…” You trailed off, your words now barely a whisper anymore.

 And I'm just tryna play it cool now

But that's not what I wanna do now

And I'm not tryna be with you now, you now

 Finally, Harry lifted himself off the bench as well, walking towards you. “I didn´t send that text, but maybe I can ask you out in real life?”

A shy smile was on his lips, it suited him so well in the dim light.

“I´d like that very much.”

Carefully, you leaned forward, feeling his warm breath on your skin. “But let´s not tell anyone just yet, we have to find a way to get back to my sister.”

Harry furrowed his eyebrow, but quickly realized as well, who had hacked his account.

“Sounds like a good plan.”

Grinning, you finally felt his warm lips brushing against yours. It had taken a couple of misleadings, but your crush had found its way in the end.

 But I could be your crush, like, throw you for a rush, like

Hopin' you'd text me so I could tell you

I been thinkin' 'bout your touch like

[mitchelljoni]

2, 5, 17, 24

OMG hey!!!<3

2. name a movie that makes you genuinely laugh.

SUCH a good question omg. love this. one thing about me is i AM an easy laugh so like. there are so many but rn i think theres a couple that come to mind....funny girl genuinely makes me giggle. when barbra streisand comes down the stairs and shes got that pillow under her shirt...i am the beautiful reflection of my love's affection.......iykyk. truly hysterical. clueless and legally blonde, also great classic laughs produced. i remember watching licorice pizza recently and that genuinely had me in bits at points, so many good moments. loved the bradley cooper scenes obv lol...

otherwise bridget jones's diary and the proposal both never fail to make me laugh HAHHA i genuinely believe renee zellweger's british accent could just make me laugh forever (not even bc it's bad! it's good! it's just everything she says in it is funny!), and the scene in the proposal where sandra bullock starts chanting get low is literally peak cinema. OH OH and the incredibles 2. sorry but when jack jack gets his powers it was over for everyone else i genuinewly think that sequence w the raccoon is incredible....anyway well. turns out a lot of movies make me laugh lol

5. what’s your favorite season?

SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAYBE IT'S MY EGYPTIAN GENES BUT I CANT GET ENOUGH OF THAT SHIT. EVERYTHING IS BETTER IN DA SUMMERTIMEEEEE!!!!!

17. favorite song?

i am sorry. i cannot possibly answer this. my current "favourite songs of all time" playlist is 4000 songs long. however. to give you a random selection of current favs that i have recently sent to any one of my friends and gone "holy shit what a song":

dont know why by norah jones (i am always listening to norah jones but like. it's that album's 20th anniversary this yr [which also, WHAT THE Fuck...the passage of time] and i just cant stop thinking ab this song. like. thats literally a perfect debut song. how can you improve on that song. you can't!! it's the perfect song!!)

distance by yebba i talk ab this song like all the time but i just can't express what a good song it is like...i rlly truly think no one is doing it like yebba in the music industry currently nd like. she really truly is shockingly good. and the best thing is when shes live it's almost...better which ! wow ! so rare rn. anyway. i love this song, always have, always will. i feel like i am constantly singing it somewhere in my head

homeward bound by simon and garfunkel ok like wow what a song ! ! ! i actually randomly put on the glee cover of it the other day and it made me genuinely emotional bc like. it's ... a realy good cover lol but i love this song. im liteerally sitting in a railway station got a ticket for my destination like SHUT UP!!!! WHAT A GOOD SONG

fairy tale by toni braxton iykyk but also like....honestly listen to it and u will get it. most babyface-produced song ever produced by babyface me thinks.........harmonically everything is good here sorry!

my willing heart by james blake ok great song. just such a good song. so oozy crunchy and delicious like whyd he do those chords like that wow. i love listening to this song and just like. exisiting in it like a sandwich.

my mum and i always listen to how deep is your love by the bee gees in the car together :) i love it! there is such a beautiful cover by PJ morton, both the live version w yebba and the live version w alex isley. i love!

ive had until by cecile mclorin salvant on REPEAT recently and overjoyed by stevie wonder leaves me...overjoyed!!

sorry u opened a literal sarcophagus w this qn. i cld talk about my fav songs literally FOREVER this is a completely random cross section of songs ive had playing recently it is not at all indicative of my ABSOLUTE faves of which...i fear i can never specify...but still :) hope u listen to some of these and enjoy!

24. if you could travel to any point in time, where would you go?

i wld go back in time for like 5 seconds to ask emily dickinson if sue is a top. then i wld leave bc i wld not want to be hate crimed

ask me random questions!

[tabriscadash]

I was asked this on my old blog right as I set about transitioning to this one, so...

The first character I ever fell in love with: for DA:O, dare I say Daveth? What can I say -- I irrationally got incredibly attached to him. otherwise, DEFINITELY Morrigan, and I have crystal clear memories of my first run through Lothering and looking at Morrigan like 😍 the whole time. For DA:2/E, Carver -- unless you count Anders & Justice since I knew of them from Awakening beforehand, in which case probably Justice. For DA:I, it’s a toss-up between Vivienne or Cole -- I technically liked Cole first but SPECIFICALLY in the supporting material (Asunder), and didn’t vibe with him anywhere near as much in the game, AND I got him as a companion after I got Vivienne, so probably Vivienne.

A character that I used to love/like, but now do not: for DA:O, I guess Oghren? I never loved him, but I liked the idea of him because I really liked the dwarves/Orzammar side of DA’s worldbuilding -- but he’s such an unlikeable character that I just.. don’t vibe with him at all. I debate recruiting him every single time now, and I don’t think I ever do his personal quest (in the base game OR Awakening). for DA:2/E, I don’t really have anyone that fits -- but I REALLY wanted to like Merrill and Aveline more than I did, and especially in Aveline’s case, I can’t stand her and genuinely think she’s the unintended, secret Big Bad of the whole game. for DA:I, probably Cole, bc I was really into the idea of a little walking-corpse serial killer animated by a spirit as per the book, but that’s not really the vibe in DA:I, and combined with the somewhat patronising/ableist language and how significantly he is infantilised (including by the fandom) I just got put off him. I do still like him, but not as much.

A ship that I used to love/like, but now do not: for DA:O, I don’t really have one? I guess see my DA:I answer, lol... for DA:2/E, has to be Anders - I don’t think he’s OOC in 2, but I think his writing does so little with him and he feels v. reductive. Where his relationship could be SO interesting and angsty, it instead is written in a really dull and/or cringey way. It would have been nice to see Anders more like the Anders of Awakening near the beginning of the game (rather than random, infrequent and questionably rare snippets), and then see the progression of his relationship with Justice as the game went on -- I want more interesting abominations, PLEASE. for DA:I, listen I cannot express to you HOW EXCITED I was for my planned Lavellan to romance Sera… also I used to be way more tolerant of Cullen x Amell/Surana ships because, like, hey dark ships are fun, right? But since Cullen’s ~wholesome whitewash~ in DA:I, and his fandom clamouring to absolve him of any wrongdoing ever.. it’s boring to me.

My ultimate favourite character™: for DA:O, probably Sten? or Morrigan. They’re both fantastic, and also are significant comfort chars for me. for DA:2/3, honestly, probably my own Hawke -- I feel so hugely proud of her, and can’t imagine I’d enjoy the game anywhere near as much had I not played it as my Hawke. If not her, maybe Sebastian or Carver? for DA:I, I really love Vivienne, as well as Blackwall, and Solas is a great character even if I probably would not say I liked him.

Prettiest character: for DA:O, we all know it’s Zevran. for DA:2/E, I think Aveline -- although her aggressively bland colour-scheme lets her down in a major way (although I respect her dedication to all orange all day every day). There’s just something about her arms -- very Abby from TLOU:2. for DA:I, maybe Josephine? Ser Barris is very pretty, too...

My most hated character: for DA:O, I really didn’t like Alistair, Wynne and Oghren, and of my companions - Oghren is probably my least favourite. He’s vulgar and also profoundly uninteresting. for DA:2/E, it has to be Aveline. There’s just something about ineptitude and a complete, wilful refusal to take accountability for your actions that I can’t stand. It would be okay if it was an intentional character flaw, but the game/narrative treats her like she’s lawful good and it really annoys me. for DA:I, maybe Iron Bull? He was a huge disappointment for me. I also really dislike Sera, Cassandra, and Varric. I’m so sick of Varric - I never want to see him again.

My OTP: for DA:O, I really loved Zevran’s romance -- but I am also very amused by the fact that Leliana got to ‘love’ status with Kallian accidentally, AND I got the ‘love’ glitch for Justice (👀) and Velanna. I do sometimes wonder about an AU where Kallian is forced to make a politically expedient marriage with Nathaniel Howe for diplomatic reasons in order to consolidate her position as Arlessa, and it being an entirely platonic arrangement (it’s not like anyone expects an heir from an infertile Grey Warden) -- and maybe Zev and Nate kiss sometimes, who knows? I also LOVE my Darkspawn Chronicles AU where Kallian and Nelaros are a happy, married couple each hiding their skills with weapons from each other like dumb, cute sweethearts. They shelter Zevran when he fails to kill Alistair and a poly couple evolves. for DA:2/E, I love the IDEA of a Seb romance that isn’t so strictly conditional around the structures that abused him -- he should be allowed to love, chastely or otherwise, but free from the Chantry OR his position as prince/heir. I’d LOVE to actually have a romance with him where you can actually challenge the abuse he’s experienced. for DA:I, Malika doesn’t have a canon romance (although I think when I replay, I’m going to romance Josephine!) but I think Blackwall has an amazing romance. Solas’ is also iconic, it must be said. 

My NOTP: for DA:O, I really dislike Alistair in a shipping capacity; he’s immature and says a lot of misogynistic shit and I don’t think he’s the worst for it, but I don’t really vibe with shipping him, having played the game as a female city elf. for DA:2/E, I wouldn’t say I have one, particularly? although I really dislike Aveline’s relationship with her husband simply because it seems incredibly inappropriate, given that they work together and she has power over him -- and because I dislike her, generally, I don’t feel inclined to do something nice for her. for DA:I, I suppose Sera/Lavellan -- although I’m not AGAINST it, it just really isn’t for me, having attempted it. I also don’t really vibe with Dorian x Iron Bull. Something abt the way the game handled BDSM and their relationship banter specifically I don’t really like.

Favourite episode quest: for DA:O, probs Orzammar/the Deep Roads. I really love the dwarven lore! and, of course, Fort Drakon is really funny, even though it’s not canon in my game iirc. for DA:2/E, maybe the murder mystery with the serial killer, where ultimately Leandra dies? I also really enjoyed all the companion quests. for DA:I, The Descent (just, all of it, lmao) and everything to do with the Avvar. Crestwood also BANGED.

Saddest death: for DA:O, it’s frankly a fucking INJUSTICE that Shianni gets murdered if you make her Bann of the Alienage -- the idea of that happening whilst Kallian is in Amaranthine and unable to protect her :( genuinely very upsetting. I go back and forth on who is made Bann, tbf, so idk how canonical it is: I think maybe Cyrion would get it, but I’m also endeared to Soris holding the position, with Shianni as Hahren. for DA:2/E, Bethany. I wish both twins had had the chance to reach Kirkwall :(. Let Leandra die instead. for DA:I, maybe not the saddest death, but the most memorable for me was that one sleeping dragon in the Hissing Wastes.. leave her alone. Stay out of a womans’ business.

Favourite season game: DA:O!

Least favourite season game: DA:I.

Character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but I hate: for DA:O, Alistair. I cannot deal with his complacency and hypocrisy. for DA:2, I really disliked Merrill but I honestly cannot remember why. DEFINITELY Varric -- I hated how the game forces you to be his best friend, and if you’re low approval, you have to endure these pointless pissy little comments with this little anti-dwarf centrist pissant. After the expedition, I literally have no reason to put up with him, and I NEVER take him out. I hate that he plays the same role in DA:I, too. for DA:I, the Iron Bull was hugely disappointing, and I also really don’t vibe with Cassandra. She just seems very wishy-washy and complacent and hypocritical, and many of her comments about other cultures seem snide for literally no reason other than bigotry. 

My ‘you’re a piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: for DA:O, lbr probably Sten. Mans is gonna launch a HORRIFYING invasion in the next game iirc and frankly, I’m ok with it. Just wanna see that big bastard again ❤🥵. for DA:2/E, I LOVE Gamlen, ok? for DA:I, I am not sure if I have one.

My ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: for DA:O, if any of you so much as LOOK at Velanna wrong, it’s hands. That includes Bioware. I also feel incredibly protective of and sad for Morrigan. for DA:2/E, probably Sebastian -- I feel so sad for him, and so frustrated by the limitations with the game. for DA:I, I’m honestly not sure.. maybe Josephine? I don’t really feel this way about Sera, but I do think she deserves better from the game and its writing, and also from fandom: there are valid criticisms of her, but the hate she gets is not proportional to any valid issues with her -- and gee, I wonder why that is.

My ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: for DA:O, I did use to find Cullen x Surana/Amell intriguing as a dark ship -- I actually hc that Neria Surana is actually Nelaros’ sister, and have dabbled with it as a dark ship. I also am interested in Loghain/Alistair - which each pretends the other is someone else. Alistair is wooby, hate ships are, in general, fun -- so long as we acknowledge that they are, indeed, unhealthy ships. for DA:2/E, I kind of feel like Sebastian romances are, invariably, kind of dark... and, similarly, Anders romances -- especially with certain red Hawkes, The way it ends is, invariably, bordering on fucked up. ALSO Hawkecest is weird and wonderful: GET WITH IT. 

My ‘they’re kind of cute, and I lowkey ship them, but I’m not too invested’ ship: for DA:O, I joked about Velanna x Leliana once and I’ve not been able to stop thinking about it ever since… Velanna x Sigrun is also something that can be so personal. Ariane x Finn is adorable and are paid DUST by Bioware AND fandom. I actually am really into Anora x Nathaniel & NO I will NOT explain myself; it’s a crackship but it’s MY crackship. for DA:2/E, Isabela x Fenris is super cute, but I don’t pay enough attention to them to really have super committed thoughts & feelings on them. for DA:I, Blackwall x Josephine is cute as a background ship; I also think Maryden x Cole is sweet.

[where-fading-princesses-live]

double standards

So I was watching this very interesting video last night...  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Di_R6Md-L80

And around 6:43, he talks about the classic Mary Sue trope and how, if you have a male character in a work of fiction who is presented as equally perfect and free of flaw (in other words, a Gary Stu), the criticism is less harsh towards him, or in some cases, nearly nonexistent. Some might even say he's a total bad-ass and how dare you find fault in someone so impossibly cool? But if they're female? Good god, it's bad writing and anti-feminist. People seem to be generally way more accepting of male archetypes who fall under this trope than the likes of their female counterparts, hence double standards. You see this all the time in action flicks for instance. Arnold Schwarzenegger films, anyone? James Bond whomst??? But suddenly you have Rey who's arguably not better or worse than the likes of those characters, and yet, the general opinion of her is... kind of unfair. Understandable, nonetheless... I'm not a fan of her either but at the same time, I don't think we should judge her harsher than male characters who have similar treatments. Male characters like that shouldn't be excused. I'm not saying Stus are NEVER pointed out or criticized, but this guy does have a point. There seems to be a much more airtight scrutiny surrounding female characters of this nature and it might be due to internalized misogyny or ''something something quantum quantum...'' Granted, I don't think Stus/Sues should be a widely accepted overused theme regardless, and that should be blamed on poor writing rather than sexism. Whether male, female, both, neither and everything in-between, characters need to be well-written, well-developed, believable and nuanced and blah blah blah. I'm not really here to talk about that. What I want to point out is double standards. And yes, this is sexism.

Take Rick and Morty for example. I'm not going to get too deep into it, but the fandom seems to praise the shit out of Rick who can easily be labelled a Stu because as we're constantly reminded, he's supposedly the ''smartest man in the universe''. Now, when you create a character who is a self-professed genius and placed on a pedestal by the writers, it can definitely come off Stu-ish. It's not that Rick unrealistically lacks flaws... no, this man is LOADED with flaws, but the fact that he's a literal badass who can get out of almost any sticky situation... well, like I said, there's more to his character than that and I'm not going to get into it, but Rick rarely, if ever, fails. Sometimes there's moments of vulnerability and the fact that he keeps trying to change but just slips back into his old ways, that makes him much more 3-dimensional than a Stu... but you know, despite his narcissism, his sarcasm, his alcoholism and mistreatment of his family and his incapability of maintaining healthy long-term relationships, he still has a limitless ability to create, a superior intelligence level even when compared to higher lifeforms on other planets, enabling him to outsmart entire government organizations and civilizations spanning galaxies, well... you can see where I'm going with this. There's no person on this planet like that who exists irl, even among the smartest of history's greatest men. Yes, it's a cartoon, it's meant to be far-fetched. Yes, it's sci-fi so we're expected to suspend our disbelief. Yes, there's a reason for it. Yes, it drives the core of the story. But even if there's times where it seems Rick will definitely fail, he never truly has an ALL IS LOST MOMENT because the writers conveniently write him out of most of his troubles, because the series has to keep going (obviously). Basically, I never feel a real sense of danger when Rick is in trouble because I know he'll get out alive (if not, there's infinite amount of Ricks and infinite amount of realities to replace him-- not to mention he can replace his family members as many times as he fucks up which became the show's laziest overused point in my opinion). Rick's not a bad character. Far from it. That's not what bothers me.

What bothers me is his daughter, Beth. Okay, no, she doesn't specifically bother me. The way the fandom sees her bothers me. Now Beth is undoubtedly cut from the same cloth. You know what they say, like father like daughter. And yet... the fandom fails to recognize her as a potentially great character, just as equally flawed and brilliant minded as Rick. She's a genius horse surgeon in a failing marriage. (I will go out on a limb and say she's more well written than Rick *ducks from flying tomatoes*.) I mean, her story is literally almost the same as her father's, her flaws are just as realistic--in fact, she's probably more realistic because she's not the ''smartest so and so of the godforsaken universe'' which is just as bad as annoyingly cringey The Chosen One trope. She's just Beth. A terribly smart woman with abandonment issues and trust issues and all other kinds of issues, but you can't blame her given her upbringing. By no means perfect or good at everything she does. Or loved (or hated) by everyone or hailed a genius by the entire flipping universe. You can't even call her a Sue. Yet some of the fandom chooses to label her a b*tch for whatever reason... even though her characterization is near identical to D*ck, er I mean Rick (e.g. she drinks just as much when she hits an all time low). She's just as awful with just as many fuck ups yet she's more sympathetic due to the way Rick raised her (or didn't raise her)... yet there's a double standard because somehow, because she's a female, she's a worse character than Rick, who's a male and apparently awesome (brownie points because he's one of the the two titular characters so you *can't* hate him, it's against the law). If Beth were Rick's son instead of his daughter, I wonder if the general opinion would be the same or not. If Rick were a woman.... he would be Rey, now would he? Don't deny it.

Then there's Ed Edd n' Eddy. As much as I love praising the hell out of this show, I also like to crap on it. There's no shame in pointing out flaws in your faves. But this isn't so much the flaw in the actual show and the actual writing, but again, I'm taking a jab at the fandom and how they perceive male characters v. female characters.

Sarah. Sarah is almost exactly like the female Eddy. She's little and bratty and loud af. She's probably the most hated character on the show (even Jimmy and Kevin are more liked than she is). I used to not like Sarah either but I never really asked myself WHY. When I compared her to Eddy, I realized that they're literally, almost the same character and I have no real reason to hate her (yeah yeah a lot of the cul-de-sac kids share eerily similar traits to the Eds and it was no accident; it makes you wonder why the kids hate the Eds so much if they ostracize them for the very same quirks they have, and it's not just the scams--it's because kids at this age are terribly insecure about themselves and tend to make fun of more vulnerable others who share their flaws to make themselves feel better. I was bullied in middle school for acne by... wait for it.... kids who had acne. GASP. Imagine that. So my point is, we often despise traits in others we despise in ourselves, not to mention we don't perceive ourselves the way others perceive us, hence, the Looking Glass Self theory. Basically, EEnE is deeper than it appears on the surface, and I've analyzed this before during those EEnE Appreciation Month things, so I won't bother repeating myself, but that's the basic idea in a nutshell.)

Ahem, before I get off on a further tangent, let me reiterate my main point. Sarah IS Eddy. No, not really, but yes, kinda really. Her voice can be irritating and grates on your nerves at times, she's bossy and controlling of her friends (I honestly love her friendship with Jimmy, and how they both defy stereotypical gender norms, and how protective she is of him, but there's times where she pushes his buttons), and though she doesn't hold Jimmy back from finding his own independence apart from her the way Eddy sometimes does to Ed and Edd who he treats them more as cronies in the first season (for instance, Sarah doesn't raise objection to Jimmy joining the Urban Rangers and finding his own identity and making other friends besides her, I mean they don't have to be glued to the hip and she damn well knows that), and yet... the way she treats Ed... well... even if Eddy stands up for Ed against Sarah and grows increasingly annoyed with the way she walks all over him... Eddy ain't much better, pumpkins. DON'T ACT LIKE HE'S BETTER THAN HER. Sure, male characters *always* get excused for this kind of behavior, but if it's a girl, she's automatically a mega beyotch with no redeeming qualities. If she's a b, he's a b, and they both have potential to redeem their flaws.  They should be treated equally.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE Eddy. He's one of my favorite characters. OPE. And there's the tea.

Most people LOVE Eddy (not everybody, and if you don't, that's fine; you don't even have to like Sarah, but I have a case). Despite the fact that he's bossy, sarcastic, rude, selfish, self-absorbed, over confident, flamboyant, vain, screams with a voice that makes your ears bleed.... well, gee, didn't I just describe Sarah? Sarah loves make-up clothes and hair just as much as Eddy loves speedos and deodorant and cheap shampoo and dressing to the nines for Jonny's Arbor Day Party. Hell, Sarah had a complete meltdown because she lost her freakin' earring! Eddy flipped the fuck out when Ed lost his porno mags. THEY'RE. THE. SAME. FUCKING. PERSON. (and it's why they butt heads but that's a topic for another day, because you know, you can't fight fire with fire... you can argue the same for Eddy and Kevin)

Yet, the fandom HATES Sarah and LOVES Eddy. Probably not cuz she's female, but aside from the Kankers, the girls (and Jimmy, poor Jimmy) seem to receive harsher judgment towards them as characters by fans, even if they have similar traits to the boys. I'm sure it's because Sarah isn't as well written or developed a character as Eddy (who's a main cast member, actually the driving force of the show, the primary lead) BUT that's not to say Sarah doesn't have her moments of vulnerability or moments of total bad-assery that makes her.... well... interesting  if given the chance. (In BPS, she beats the living shit out of the Kankers and devises a plan for her and Jimmy to escape their enslavement, one of my all-time favorite scenes in the entire movie; not to mention she beats the crap out of EVERYONE on the show and it's usually, not always, well-deserved but it's entertaining nonetheless: cat fights with Nazz, even beating up Rolf who's twice her size, etc.). The fact that everyone is afraid of this little girl??? (maybe except Kevin). I mean, this chick is fearless, and yet, she still has moments of weakness. That's 3-dimensional if you ask me. She's more than just the bratty little sister. I didn't used to like her, but after studying her more, I've come to appreciate her. There's nothing about her that makes her an inherently ''bad'' female character. She plays a role, as do they all, and she plays the role perfectly.

Last but not least: Nazz. Everyone's favorite (I'm kidding). I don't know if the fandom hates Sarah or Nazz more. I can understand the hate towards Sarah, but Nazz seems even less just. Nazz is like one of the nicest people on the show and never really does anything to warrant the hate (until the infamous flanderized Season 5-- don't judge me, I love S5 regardless)... but even then she's still nice, if a bit artificially so. I mean, she becomes a bit of a Mean Girl (they all kinda do; it must be how the clique school environment changes a person), but she still goes out of her way to be inclusive towards everyone (even if she can be spotted in the background laughing at the Eds along with the others at times, but they're ALL guilty of this... ya'll out here lovin' on Rolf or Jonny or whatever, and pretending like they're saints, but they laugh at our precious Ed boys too. Also, precious Ed boys are not complete angels either and sometimes they need a good ass whooping or two. I mean, they're just kids. Kids are assholes). She's not a bad person though; she roots for all the contestants during the Spelling Bee. She personally appoints Ed to be the mascot of the football team. I can go on and on. She's just nice. Maybe that's why fans hate her. Because nice is boring. Nice is... personality-less. I don't think Nazz has as much eccentricity as the other characters, obviously, but she, too, has her moments (she yodels, for starters). She's not entirely lacking in personality. Sure, she may have as much personality as a board of wood (actually, I take that back, Plank has MORE personality than her XD) buuuut.... Idk, I like Nazz. I didn't at first either. But even if it irks me a bit that she's reduced down to the unattainable love interest and not much else, she, too, isn't an inherently ''bad'' female character. She has the least development of all the cast members, but she fills her role effectively. Without her, the show would feel like it's missing something. Even if she doesn't appear as often.

What bothers me the most is that she plays the same part as Kevin, only female. Kevin's the quintessential jock/bully popular leader of the kids, the King of the Cul-de-sac if you will (self-appointed or otherwise, just don't tell Eddy I told you). Nazz is like his Homecoming Queen, even if they're not an official couple (they spend the whole series as a ''will they or won't they Ross and Rachel'') and though not the leader of the kids collectively, she does sometimes lead the girls (or really, Sarah and Jimmy), while Kevin leads the boys (Jonny and Rolf, excluding the Eds). AND YET Kevin, though sometimes hated by fans, isn't nearly *as* hated as Nazz. Yet, he has as much personality as her (sorry, I love you, Kev). I mean, THEY'RE. ALMOST. THE. SAME. CHARACTER. Good looking, sporty, popular... He's also the least developed character of the male cast. Plank has more development than him and that's kinda sad... y'know... getting beat by a board of wood. (But Plank comes alive through Jonny, so basically Jonny is split into two separate characters; Plank reveals aspects of Jonny that he won't reveal to us, and vice versa. I can talk about Jonny all day, but let's not, because this is about Nazz.) I mean, again, Nazz and Kevin both have their moments of vulnerability and it's not like they're NEVER interesting; I beg to differ. Kevin, anyway, has two great episodes that revolve directly around his insecurities and anxieties and deep-seated fears, some deep shit I wish we got to see with Nazz. But instead we got BPS and it was hands-down the best character development we ever saw from her in the entire show's run. It's sad it had to be the end, because if they gave us more BPS Nazz throughout the series, she would have been a well rounded 3-d character.

Nazz is angry AF in BPS and I live for angry Nazz. We can kind of feel for her here because Kevin is such a dunce. She's finally reciprocating his feelings and he decides to turn the other way.... for his goddamn inanimate bike. It's something Jonny would do, but Kev always loved that bike... I guess more than Nazz, and it's one of the greatest love triangles ever. Phantom of the Opera don't interact. Ahem. My point is, Nazz finally displays more personality here-- like actual fucking emotion beyond just being nice and pretty (sure, we've seen her get angry sometimes, or freaked out other times, but never like this). Buuuuuut the fandom sees otherwise. They hated Nazz even MORE after this, despite that.... the male characters in BPS, like Rolf who punches through a tree and Edd and Eddy who go at it all piss and vinegar in an actual fist fight, are angry fucking men, and they're allowed to be angry and not Nazz because...? They have more testosterone and she doesn't? Because penises are more justified than vaginas? Oops, no, sorry, women can only be angry when they're on their periods, my bad. I mean, everybody's out in this freezing cold swamp, having a break down, at their wit's end, reaching their ''all is lost'' moment... yet, Rolf and the Eds are allowed to vent their frustrations on each other or on the surrounding environment. But not Nazz. No, Nazz is being a b*tch because.... Kevin's paying more attention to a non-living machine than to her. And he sat flat on his skinny ass and didn't help her when she needed him the most. And she didn't have to tag along with him but she did. She didn't have to put up with his cold aloofness but she did. And even if she was trying to catch his attention and flirt with him at inappropriate times she wasn't entirely useless. It was HER idea to find Eddy's brother. If she hadn't suggested it, he'd still be riding around in circles chasing his shadow. Yeah, okay, she's a total b*tch.

God forbid women have emotions. God forbid women cry or get frustrated. Then they're b*tches. But if they're pretty and nice and perfect and popular, they're Sues. Yet, male characters with the same traits.... get lighter sentences. No one even bats an eye. Boys will be boys am I right?

I can go on but yeah, don't say double standards are total BS. In this essay I will

[luvdsc]

tag games ;

tagging :: @eggyukhei ; @jaemericano ; @aqiaquas ; @forehead-enthusiast ; @choerrypuffs ; @latetaektalk ; @winetae ; @taeyongtime ; @nochanchu 🌼

—

TAG GAME ONE

tagged by :: @njmin thank you, lovebug! ✨

— tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

omg ok it was april 2014, and I was procrastinating on homework and scrolling through youtube. shinee’s lucifer mv was recommended for some reason, and I was intrigued, so I clicked on it. From there, it just spiraled out of control. I was blown away like there’s this one dance move where they all lined up and taemin does this hand motion so fluidly and I was like “this is it.” More shinee mvs were recommended after I clicked that one, so I kept going and watching all the other ones until I watched them all. Their music is just so different and unique, like even after all this time, I can’t find another kpop group who mimics the music style of shinee. and all their solos are absolutely god tier, too!!! they really are gonna be my first and last kpop group. shinee withstood through my stan eras for other groups. I don’t think I’ll ever stop being their fan.

I also found snsd through shinee because their mvs were recommended after I clicked lucifer too. the first one I saw is the iconic gee. taeyeon stood out to me in those mvs. her voice is so distinct, and I’ve been a fan of her ever since. She didn’t have a solo then, but I searched up all her drama osts, song features, everything because I loved her voice so much even back then. so yeah, taeyeon and shinee will forever be my faves, and I love them a lot 💓

TAG GAME TWO

tagged by :: @latetaektalk thank you, linh !! 💖

rule :: answer the ten questions and write your own!

— how are you today?

I’m doing really good! I’m enjoying my summer, and my day is pretty lax. I’ve been facetiming friends, watching chopped, making banh bao with my mom, and doing my daily cardio ✨

— what book has had the biggest impact on your life?

the princess knight by cornelia funke. my elementary school did this thing where your parents can buy a book to donate to the school library under your name for your birthday. this was the book my sister chose for me when I was in kindergarten. I loved that book; I borrowed it so many times and kept rereading it. It’s a children’s picture book about a princess who secretly learns how to joust. the king tries to give her hand in marriage to the knight who wins the competition, but she defeats them all and chooses to marry the gardener’s son who she loves 💕

— what is something you think everybody should have done once in their life?

Travel. There’s just something so wonderful about going to a new place, whether that’s halfway across the world or just the town a few states over. It’s a lovely feeling embarking on an adventure to a place unknown to you where you can meet new people, try new foods even if it’s just a random dish at a restaurant you’ve never been to, and make memories with strangers that no one back home ever has to know about. There’s just something intriguing about being able to go somewhere else and be someone else for an hour or a day or a week before you return back home.

— what story are you the most proud of and why?

on my previous blog, I wrote a fic called the universe of us, and it’s 21k+ wc. I poured my blood, sweat, and tears into that fic, and although I can’t read it now without cringing, I really am super proud of myself for pulling through and writing that. The concept of it was unique, in my opinion, and I would love to rewrite it someday! 💫

on this blog, I am most proud of the dumbing down of love. that fic is personal to me because it is literally comprised of my college experiences in written format and the characters embody my friends. I wrote that over the span of 3-4 nights, and that’s the fastest I’ve ever written a fic of that length. the words just flowed so easily for that fic, and the quesadilla scene was the first thing I wrote, and I’m quite proud of that scene!! 💓

— what has made you really happy recently?

I graduated uni!!!!! 💛💛

— what is the first thing you want to do after this whole pandemic is over and it’s safe to go out again?

I want to eat sushi LOL I haven’t had it in four months, and I’m craving it so badly.... I also want to go out with my friends again! I miss being able to see them everyday and our late night shenanigans ):

— if you had to make a soundtrack/playlist based on your life, how would you call it and which songs would you include?

honestly, these are just a bunch of my favorite songs throughout my entire life. some of them don’t relate to me personally, but I remember listening them on repeat, and I still know all the lyrics to them 💘

title: cue the soundtrack of my life

songs: complicated ⋆ avril lavigne ⋮ check yes, juliet ⋆ we the kings ⋮ the way i loved you ⋆ taylor swift ⋮ a daydream away ⋆ all time low ⋮ that’s what you get ⋆ paramore ⋮ i won’t give up ⋆ jason mraz ⋮ holy ground ⋆ taylor swift ⋮ lucifer ⋆ shinee ⋮ don’t go ⋆ exo m ⋮ 1000 years ⋆ shinee ⋮ breathe ⋆ taeyeon & jonghyun ⋮ coffee ⋆ bts ⋮ you are in love ⋆ taylor swift ⋮ walk you home ⋆ nct dream ⋮ i ⋆ taeyeon ⋮ tell me what to do ⋆ shinee ⋮ mad city ⋆ nct 127 ⋮ gravity ⋆ taeyeon ⋮ blueprint ⋆ stray kids

— what is your favourite breakfast food?

omg it’s this one dish that I order every time I go to the diner near my university, and it’s a smoked salmon eggs benedict with hollandaise sauce and hash browns 🤩🤩

— how did you get into writing and is it something you would like to do as your job?

I’ve always enjoyed writing, and my teachers sent me to the young authors’ faire every year from kindergarten to 8th grade. You don’t really get to write creative stories in class when you’re older though, and I stumbled upon fanfiction, and here we are. It’s not something I want to do as my job though. Writing is simply a fun pastime and hobby for me!! If I was forced to write or profit off of it, then that’d take fun out of it ):

— did you remember to drink enough water today?

yes, I did!! I make sure to drink 6-8 large cups of water a day :’) stay hydrated!!! 🤍

my questions for you:

what’s your favorite jelly bean flavor?

if you hated your child, what name would you give them?

do you pour cereal first or milk first?

do you like pineapple on your pizza?

if you could be a celebrity for the day, who would you be and why?

what are three dealbreakers for you in a relationship?

what’s your favorite word and why?

would you rather punch your ult bias in the face full force or lick the porta potty that hasn’t been cleaned after Coachella weekend?

which song(s) would you cut out from nct’s discography?

what’s the most unique/interesting food you’ve ever eaten?

TAG GAME THREE

tagged by :: @pwarkhans ty, sweetpea! 🌸

rule :: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

[vonlipvig]

Fodder vs. Freelancers - Episode 2

(If you’re looking for past episodes, just check the “Survivor RvB” tag in my blog!)

Quick recap! Last episode Caboose and Tex got individual immunity idols valid only for their first time at TC, the Freelancers won immunity, and the Fodder tribe voted off Kai, leaving the Blue alliance open to attack.

That means the Blues (and all the Fodder tribe, really) are REALLY gonna be fighting hard to win the next immunity challenge. It’s all about numbers, guys!

Next challenge happens to be a double Reward + Immunity challenge, so it’s an important one! What are the results?

Well, The Freelancers sure are bosses, huh? They’re absolutely on a roll! (Gee, I hope I didn’t give them an unfair advantage, I don’t want to have a Palau situation here!). They have flint AND fishing gear, these guys are living in STYLE!

NOW comes a very interesting part, cause this season has EXILE ISLAND! Once a team wins a challenge, they can send someone from the opposing tribe to Exile Island, a miserable place where they get to be completely alone. Well, not really, cause they winning team also gets to send one of their own. That can be bad, as they’re alienating that person from daily tribe life, but there are also hidden immunity idols there...

Anyway, who are the chosen ones?

So the Freelancers pick Tucker to go to Exile, and they choose Florida to go, too. What can they have based these decisions on? Do they think Tucker is a threat? Do they not want Florida around, or do they trust him to get info out of Tucker/find the idol? Interesting...(Also, they’re probably just gonna talk about how cool aqua is).

Lo and behold, it is actually Tucker who finds the hidden idol! Does the hidden idol look like a big, glowy sword, by any chance? Regardless, Tucker sure knows how to find hidden spots! Bow chicka bow wow! (I’ll see myself out...)

Notable Tribe Events: Back in Fodder camp, Church is isolating himself from the tribe, and nobody wants to align with him. That would make sense, seeing as he’s the only Blue there, together with Caboose (And, even though I made Caboose have a strong bond with Church, I made that non-mutual, cause Church is a bit of an asshole. He’s my fave, did I mention that?). Poor guy. In Freelancer camp, South and York have a minor fight. Boy, would I LOVE to be a fly on the wall to see that! I wonder how that would affect North’s realtionship with York?

Anyway, it’s TC time yet again, with our lovely Fodder tribe!

So, Tucker is a smart guy. He knows the Blue Alliance is in danger, and he knows he might be targeted. So, what does he do? He plays the Hidden Immunity Idol for himself! That means that any votes casted for Tucker do not count. How did that pay off?

INCREDIBLY. FUCKING. WELL. Miraculously, the whole Red Alliance voted for Tucker, which means none of those votes count, WHICH MEANS only the votes from the Blue Alliance count! And who did they get rid of?

The second person voted off from Survivor Blood Gulch is Grif. Poor Grif. Right after his sister.

Ok, so let’s talk about move. The Reds might have thought that Tucker wouldn’t be smart enough to find the Idol, so they voted for him, thinking it would go through. OR, and this is a cool or, Tucker might have played dumb, mimed giving a fake idol to Church, to make the Reds see him as someone with no protection. Either way, it worked, and the numbers are a bit more balanced, although Doc continues to be a swing vote. Still, the Fodder tribe needs to get its shit together, cause they’re losing numbers to the Freelancers.

What might next episode of Survivor Blood Gulch: Fodder vs. Freelancers bring? Stay tuned!

Next Episode - Beginning

[tamalam11]

S6 Episode Titles

So the rest of The 100 S6 episode titles were revealed today. (In the past these haven’t always been accurate titles.) Lets pretend we know anything about anything and see what we can deduce from them, shall we?? Wild Unfounded Speculation Time Commencing!!! 

 6x06 Memento Mori (confirmed title) : “Diyoza learns more about the mysterious Children of Gabriel while Abby continues to search for a way to save Kane.” 

a quick google search tells me 2 things- this phrase is Latin for “remember (that) you will die” and that the dictionary defines it as “ an object serving as a warning or reminder of death, such as a skull.” I don’t think its much of a stretch to guess that this episode its going to be dealing with death/mortality. Either Gabriel's himself, or Murphy struggling with whether or not to actually take Josephine up on her offer, or maybe even Murphy & Bellamy dealing with the fact that Clarke is “dead.” And obviously, as the episode description says, Abby dealing with Kane’s dwindling mortality. 

6x07 Nevermind (confirmed title): “Clarke's past catches up to her.”

I don’t need to google this one. It’s written by returning Writers Room Alum, Kim Shumway, who divides the fandom in Love/Hate for her. Personally, I have no problem with her. She wrote one of my all time favorite episodes, S3′s Nevermore. Which this episode’s title is clearly a play off of. Nevermore is a character driven bottle episode that deep dives into character relationships and histories (and had quality Bellarke content). If Nevermind isn’t the episode where we see Clarke in Mount Weather (ie: when she Faces Her Demons), I’ll eat my hat, as they say. The fact that IMBD credits Jake Griffin as among the characters in this episode helps me feel even more certain. 

6x08 The Old Man and The Anomaly 

Gabriel. Obviously. We’re either going to learn about him in the anomaly, or go into it with him. OR we’re already in it with Clarke and she comes into contact with him. Thought I do admit, there doesn't seem like enough time to get Clarke to the Anomaly and my previous theory is looking less and less likely. 

6x09 What You Take With You

Is someone literally going somewhere? What you take with you when you leave a place? Probs not. More like...what you take with you when you leave a relationship, a person, a non-physical space of being. What you take with you is what you learn, or what you’re given by another person- forgiveness, love, growth. Someone is dying, breaking up, or coming back. (It’s interesting to note that IMDB lists Kane as in this episode. I know its not a credibly source, but still.) 

6x10  Matryoshka

this was another google search. and hole-lee fuuuuuuuuuck.  Matryoshka is the name for Russian Nesting Dolls. If you aren’t familiar with those, they are hollow wooden dolls that open up to contain another smaller hollow wooden doll until you get down to the smallest, solid, wooden doll. The original. The Origin. The First. Gee, I wonder what this could be a metaphor for? Honestly though, I wonder-- which Russian Nesting Doll are we revealing? Josephine The First? Or Becca Pram Heda??????  

6x11 Ashes to Ashes

A Bellamy heavy episode, rumored to be just characters sitting around talking and having sex, directed by Bob Morely...... and named after something related to death???? The phrase Ashes to Ashes references “ashes to ashes, dust to dust,” which is often said at funerals over grave sites. Though it could be literal, as this show does like to burn things down AND we see Murphy holding a torch in the trailer. But none of that jives with what we know about the episode. Or think we do, anyway. Unless we lose someone in the previous episode, and this is a quiet episode that actually takes a beat and allows everyone to reflect and mourn. Wouldn’t that be a nice change of pace? This is also the episode that IMDB lists Azgeda Warrior and Young E/cho. So its also the E/cho backstory ep. I would be down if Ashes to Ashes references her death. But more likely it’s Be/cho talking and having sex because I never get nice things. 

6x12 Adjustment Protocol

This sounds like a military phrase. Maybe it’s a Diyoza heavy episode?? IDK why, but this one seems the most likely candidate to be a fake title. It just sounds off. Like, it doesn't fit with the flow of the other titles. But then, maybe that’s the point. Maybe the whole episode will be that way. According to IMDB, this is directed by Olicity Fandom fave Antonio Negret. And the only main players are Bellamy and Clarke. Consider me baited. 

6x13 The Blood Of Sanctum 

Season Finale. Literally, we’re going to spill the blood of Sanctum?? That’d be pretty On Brand. Or, like, metaphorically, we’re going to like be the blood of Sanctum? Like, it’s gonna be ours?? Who the hell knows. 

[miraculousagentsofkrypton]

I would assume you're a big fan of AoS and Supergirl. But which character on each show is your fave and why?

You guessed right! :P Sorry for the delay, I wanted to find the time to answer this properly, this is just my stream of conscience though and doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface.

Great question! Ok, so my favs are definitely Daisy Johnson and Kara Zor-El Danvers, but I love pretty much all the characters on both shows. I recently did a post on Daisy’s birthday about my favorite scenes in season 1. A lot of those scenes are what started my love of her. 

Both of these wonderful characters have been through so much of what the universe has to offer. They have suffered and suffered. Kara lost her whole world and Daisy never even found one to be part of. She got thrown from foster home to foster home, the protocol never allowing her to stay anywhere for even a year. Kara was an alien, hiding who she was, knowing that if she were revealed both her new family and herself would be in danger. Neither of them were ever accepted by the world, outcasts to their very souls. 

They had a right to be angry, to rage, but you know what they did? They took those experiences and learned to love the world. They developed a sense of empathy beyond compare. Both of them love deeply, they love total strangers, they care about even their enemies. Do you realize how rare and precious that is? 

Daisy found a way to understand Ward despite everything and she empathized with and tried to help Ruby. She became a Rising Tide hacktivist because it was her way of helping the underdog, helping the world become a better place. That was something, someway she was capable of influencing the world and she took it. When Coulson offered her a chance to make a bigger difference with SHIELD, she jumped on it. She learned what their purpose was and wholeheartedly worked to become a part of it. One of my favorite scenes in season 1 is when Daisy talks to Hannah. She has nothing in common with this lady. She doesn’t have the same beliefs, yet she forges a bond with her, finds a way to use her painful history to connect, and help comfort her.

Kara is unwilling to kill anyone, even the worst people imaginable.(inconsistency issues with the Martians and Non aside) She always, always tries to get through to the person before fighting them. She connects to them, tries to see the best in them. I will always love the scene in season 1 where she has no powers, but she still stops that robbery through her bravery and kindness. She sees each person in the city as a light, and whenever she helps someone, a little of that light becomes a part of her. She remembers the face of every single person she has saved; her super-heroism has absolutely nothing to do with pride, arrogance, or thinking that humans need saving, its just pure love.  

Then there’s their overwhelming love for those clostest to them. They created their own families when they had no one to turn too, and they devoted themselves to them. Kara would do anything for any of the superfam. She gave up her powers entirely, for years to protect Alex. She gave up the one thing that she thought would make her feel more normal, and only changed that in order to save Alex. Daisy barely knew the team before she was willing to do anything for them, she gave up opportunities to fulfill her lifelong goal of finding her family. They both risk their life time and time again to protect them. 

They are both so self-sacrificing and honestly self-depricating. Daisy gets told time and time again that death follows her. This idea haunts her so much. When HIVE happened, she wouldn’t allow herself to be comforted, the very idea of having hurt, and attempted to kill her family destroyed her, and she wouldn’t accept that it wasn’t her fault. She left the team, when she could have used the most help, because she wanted to protect them. She allows all the blame to fall on herself for so many things that are out of her control, and rarely places it on someone else. She was willing to sacrifice it all when she believed that she was the destroyer of worlds, to stay in a decimated future, to give up her powers she worked so hard to accept and control, to give up her life for everyone else. She doesn’t want to be the leader, even though she makes a brilliant one because sometimes she struggles to see and accept other peoples love and care for her. She denies the possibility of their trust because she doesn’t trust herself. 

Kara suffers from survivers guilt. She feels the weight of millions of lives on her shoulders. She failed in her purpose of protecting and teaching Kal-El, and she feels that blame, even if not of that is her fault. She fell under the effects of Red-Kryptonite, and similar to Daisy, she hurt those she loved and tried to kill her sister. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t really the one to blame. She feels the blame for every injury or death around her. Kara puts so much pressure on herself to be perfect and feels like she’s weak if she isn’t. She couldn’t handle the idea of still suffering from her childhood trauma in “Triggers”, having claustrophobia was a sign that she had failed somewhere. 

Their coping mechanisms are similar as well. Daisy hides behind humour, when she’s scared or unsure, she turns to sarcasm, to jokes. She holds her feelings in, bottles them up, and doesn’t allow others to really see how she’s truly feeling. This is both to protect herself and to protect the other person. She doesn’t want to become a burden, so she avoids her feelings and issues. Kara has an entire persona to hide behind. Kara Danvers is a happy, innocent girl. Kara hides behind that idea, even when she isn’t pretending to be a normal human, even when in the presence of family. She can laugh and smile even when she’s dying inside. She pushes the idea of weakness away, ultimately forcing herself into denial. Sometimes she is so good at pretending that everything is a-ok that she fools even those closest to her, sometimes they almost forget she’s an alien from a fallen world. 

Not everything about them is so heavy. Daisy is always ready to be geeky with Fitzsimmons, watching Paranormal movies, or Doctor Who. She’s the biggest shipper of all the romances. She’s so amazingly clever, but I don’t think she always recognizes that, especially with the high school dropout thing always weighing on it. She may or may not be book smart, but she is definitely street smart, she picks apart and recognizes patterns really well. She has few possessions that she has kept through the years, but one thing that has always stayed with her is a hula girl. Daisy always falls for the broken guy, the one with issues that she can help, because she never stops being a hero, even in her romance. She lived in a van in an alley way for years, by choice. She loves Phil Coulson and Melinda May like parents, but she still loved her parents despite their many issues and flaws and wanted what was best for them. She has learned to accept her differences, because sometimes being different can mean making a difference. 

Kara is an artist, she probably uses it in a therapeutic way and to capture her memories to preserve them, since she has no photographs. She adores food, and gorges herself on pizza and pot-stickers. Chocolate Pecan Pie is apparently the best in the galaxy according to her. N'sync is her favorite band and she uses phrases like golly gee adorably. She’s good a Settlers of Catan and connects with kids really well. She initiates game nights and gets really competitive. She’s a genius on Kryptonian levels who learned calculus at age four, but had to leave it behind when she came to earth. She doesn’t understand or like Earth history. She’s horrible at spelling in English, but writes for a living. She’s not genuinely clumsy and will never feel normal, except when she’s with her sister, because the Danvers sisters? They should come with a warning.

[acsversace-news]

It is July 15, 1997. The sun is shining in Miami Beach. Gianni Versace, the famed and opulent Italian designer wakes up, grabs a fabulous robe, and heads to his balcony where he looks out onto the immaculate view; he’s like a king surveying his sun-kissed kingdom. The camera guides us to the beach where a young man is enjoying the morning breeze. In his backpack, he has two items: a copy of the book The Man Who Was Vogue: The Life and Times of Conde Nast and a gun. One need only look at the title of Ryan Murphy’s new show, The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story, to see how these two men are connected. By the middle of the first episode of the FX series, we witness the young man (Andrew Cunanan, played by Darren Criss) approach an affable Versace (a balding Edgar Ramirez) and shoot him at the steps of his home.

These first scenes are scored, as most of the Murphy-directed episode is, with operatic chords that amp up the capital letter DRAMA. And really, when you’re telling the story of one of the most infamous assassinations of the late 20th century in the United States, one involving an Italian fashion designer known for an aesthetic that flirts with what’s gaudy, you could do worse than aim for operatic drama.

And boy does Murphy deliver on that account. The first episode follows the events of that fateful day as well as flashing back to when (allegedly, we’re encouraged to take everything our sociopathic antihero tells his friends with a grain of salt) Cunanan and Versace first met. But let’s be honest, the main draw of this latest American Crime Story is its amazing cast.

You wanted to see Ricky Martin tapping into his Alcanzar una estrella II and General Hospital roots? You’ll find him here screaming out for help as Gianni’s partner after finding him bloodied on the steps of their home.

You wanted Ramirez to finally get a chance to show off the talent that’s nabbed him roles with Steven Soderbergh, David O. Russell, and Kathryn Bigelow? You’ll see him in full deglam mode as the aging Versace who’s both intrigued and slightly wary of the charismatic Cunanan.

You wanted Almodóvar muse Penelope Cruz deliciously using her Oscar-winning phrase (“gee-nee-us!”) but on the small screen to talk about Versace? You’ll see her totally transformed into the heartbroken – if driven – sister of the slain style mogul Donatella, who’s all platinum blonde hair flicks and heavily accented put-downs.

In sum, this is the place to be this winter if you want to see your faves chewing scenery and plunging us deep into a sun-dappled, neon-tinged world of murder, homophobia, and fame.

This Week’s MVP:

Ramirez may have the title role, Criss may dazzle with his uncanny take on the compulsive liar that is Cunanan, and Cruz may nail Donatella’s lower voice register and no-nonsense attitude, but – and here, perhaps my own Ricky obsession is showing – I loved the interaction that Martin’s Antonio D’Amico (in a blood-splattered tennis outfit) has with the police investigating Gianni’s murder. It illuminated why this story needs to be told in 2018.

Framed by gold-encrusted patterns, D’Amico is humiliated, needing to explain that he was Versace’s “partner” (“His companion. I loved him,” he tells the cop), but that he also procured young men who sometimes came to the house to have sex with one or both of them. The cop, claiming ignorance, asks him, “These other men, did they consider themselves to be Versace’s partner?” to which D’Amico is forced to talk about how it wasn’t the same; he’d been with Gianni for 15 years. But to these straight cops, Versace’s unorthodox romantic arrangement is as alien as the Greco-Roman decor that littered his estate.

Therein lies the most radical aspect of The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story. It’s clear from the get-go that this show is interested in the insidious homophobia that still ran rampant in the late 90s and which encouraged law enforcement to treat crimes against homosexuals to be of lesser concern (and worthy of less empathy) than those happening to quote-unquote “normal” people.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, we’ll have to wait until next week (at least!) to get our first glimpse of Ricky in those tantalizing speedos he sports in the promo pictures for the show.

[beanmaster-pika]

Spoiler-y BanG Dream! post under the cut.

We good on all that? Good. Now buckle up, people, it’s time to talk about our little bundle of sunshine Kasumi. She certainly has times of negativity (panic when she dropped the Random Star, her fight with Saya), but she always overcomes them because the negativity has a tangible means of closure—the fixing of the Random Star and Arisa’s forgiveness, and making up with Saya. Now, when we get to the last few episodes of the season (or as I like to call them: the time when Kasumi’s optimism drowned in an extended period of anxiety and she didn’t know how to deal with it), Poppin’ Party fails their first audition at Space. Well, that’s okay, they can try again, right? Right! So they practice some more. In that time period, Kasumi has a chat with the Owner and asks what their failing was; the Owner tells her that they (Poppin’ Party) just can’t see, and informs her that she’s the weakest member of the band. Kasumi begins to break under the surface from this and throws herself into practicing. They audition for a second time and Kasumi loses her voice. Yuri suggests that it is a result of stress, although it certainly might have been in part due to nervousness. Kasumi is well and truly shattered now, into a bunch of pretty little pieces. She patches herself back together, but it’s only glue—it doesn’t hold. When her voice recovers, she once again tries to sing at rehearsal, but she can’t. In an attempt to sweep the shattered mess under a rug, she smiles, tells the rest of the band that she isn’t ready after all, and tells them to practice without her before running off. They don’t buy it and chase after her.

Now, let’s review—Arisa, denial; Rimi, anxiety; Tae, lack of confidence; and Saya, guilt and responsibility. Gee, now how could that fit into what Kasumi is going through? She’s denying that she’s letting things get to her (this is the first problem the others smash through by getting her to proverbially spill her guts to them); she’s anxious about their last chance to audition at Space; she’s unconfident about her own abilities and she’s guilty about holding them back. With the ground swept out from under her, she has no idea what to do; she’s shaken. Fortunately, her friends are there with a rescue vehicle known as aggressive confidence boosting. They remind her (in far less words than I) about how she helped them by convincing them to enter the band despite all their misgivings and subtly point out that despair is futile in the face of aggressive confidence boosting and a support network. Now, here’s what I love the most—words don’t magically make everything better. No, they sit her down, devise a more comfortable alternative to having her sing the whole time, and practice with that, and even then, she’s shaky, but she gets the words out and that does so much for her confidence, starts welding the cracks shut. With one success comes the faith that there can be more, and she latches onto that and recovers. What follows is a half episode of the band doing bonding activities like going out for ramen, jogging, designing a band t shirt, a sleepover, and even a group huddle (PoPiPa! FIGHT-O!!) to demonstrate that Kasumi has returned to healthy levels of enthusiasm and optimism and friendship really is magic. And then? Then they head off to the last audition—and you know what? Kasumi finally gets that closure for the last vestiges of her cloud of negativity. She performed. She did the best she could. She also cried, which is a wonderful way to release stress. And most importantly, the Owner recognizes that they have found what they couldn’t see and overcome that obstacle and with a smile that only a seasoned pro watching little fledgelings spread their wings can manage she welcomes them aboard in the precious little time Space has left.

There’s so much else that could be commented upon, but I think I’ll leave things off here. If you actually read all this, thanks!

[simptasia]

For the ship ask thing: Charlie/Claire and Charlie/Desmond?

Gotcha buddy!

Also an anon requested Charlie/Claire as well, so this is for them too!

Charlie/Claire

How did they they meet?

Aww, it was Charlie’s #1 greatest hit! They met the night of the crash, he offered her a blanket and they got along well instantly.

Who developed romantic feelings first?

From what I can tell, Charlie

Who is their biggest “shipper?”

I lightly scanned my memory and for some weird reason, Sun comes across as the most supportive of their relationship

But I do like to think Kate, Jack, Hurley and most of the other characters (when they were on good terms with Charlie) were mostly okay with it too

When did they have their first kiss and under what circumstances?

Season 2 finale, bubs

Wow, canon ships are a trip

Who confessed their feelings first?

You’ll note that throughout their time together, neither of them said they loved each other. However, they made it abundantly clear to each other. During the show, they both confessed feelings of care and affection.

If they did ever say “I love you”, it was either a silent understanding or it happened off screen. (like during season 3)

What was their first official date?

They never did get an official date (they almost did but Des interrupted)

In a Charlie Lives AU, Charlie takes Claire to one of those cafes where people play guitars and/or read poetry on stage

How do they feel about double dates/group dates?

Given the opportunity, they’d relish it

What do they do in their down time?

sharing music and poetry

talking (i recall their convo about what foods they miss)

caring for aaron

i personally believe that anytime they were off screen during season 3 they were either napping/cuddling together or off banging somewhere

What was the first meeting of parents as an official couple like?

Charlie’s parents are dead but his brother Liam would adore Claire (i imagine Claire and Liam become friends & family post-finale)

And I think Carole would like Charlie. His first impressions can be seen as endearing to some. And she would see that her daughter is happy

What was their first fight over and how did they get past it?

I know they fought in the show (a lot), can’t remember what about

Like, I think it was about Charlie being pushy? Sounds about right

Which one is more easily made jealous?

I go into this again in the Charlie/Des section but CHARLIE

Charlie, Charlie, Chaaarlie. It’s like painful to watch

What is their favourite thing to get to eat?

charlie: mmm banoffee pie

claire: peanut butter

Who’s the cuddly one? What their favourite cuddling position?Are they hand holders?

Yes, in fact their intimacy on the show can be summed up as: 

kisses and hand holding

How long do they wait before sleeping together for the first time? What’s the circumstances?

It’s not canonically confirmed they had sex (and LOST does make it clear when couples have had sex so it’s likely they didn’t. dom says they did but it’s dom)

Nonetheless, I’ve decided they had their first time at some point in season 3

Circumstances? In their tent, (which is funny because it doesn’t have a enough walls) Claire goes to Charlie and tells him the baby is staying with Sun tonight and like, they start kissing and it starts to become more than kissing. And at this point in their relationship (after all the bumpy as heck season 2 shit has passed), Claire is definately sure she’s ready for them to be closer.

Who tops?

Well, gee, I wonder! (It’s Charlie)

What’s the worst first they’ve ever gotten into?

Nope, all their firsts went well

Who does the shopping and the cooking?

Claire, I guess?

Which one is more organized and prone to tidiness?

Claire. Charlie’s loft was not neat at all, and Claire always looked well put together off-island. And on island, she organized her environment out well.

Who proposes?

Aw, I get the feeling Charlie was so swept away and in deep by finally being in a real True Love relationship that he would’ve proposed like two weeks after getting off that island.

Do they have joined Bachelor/Bacheloette parties or separate?

Ooh fun! In an everybody lives AU, all the boys for Charlie, all the girls for Claire.

And I just know that Shannon would buy Claire the kind of lingerie that would make Claire blush and snort into one of her hands.

Who is the best man/maid of honour? Any other groomsmen or bridesmaids?

Hurley = best man. Kate = matron of honor. 

Whoa, weird not imagining Kate being Claire’s bride

Big Ceremony or Small?

Church wedding

Charlie’s catholic and that matters to him more than he cares to admit

Do they have a honeymoon? If so, where?

I honestly can’t imagine where they’d go

Do they have children? How many?

They have Aaron

~

Charlie/Desmond

I’ve cut the marriage questions because I don’t imagine them getting married, not even in the Charlie Lives AU(s) and the Charlie/Claire/Des/Penny poly on a boat AU (which obviously overlap), where such things would be possible.

How did they they meet?

It happened on the show and I don’t remember. I genuinely don’t remember…

Oh, they first saw each other when Charlie was busking after Des left his job interview, somewhere in the 90s. (geez, how young was Charlie at the time?)

I cannot for the life of me remember their first scene together on the island, and lostpedia is not helping. Gosh, it’s been a while. Not just since I watched all of the show, but since I was like, in a Charlie/Des mindset

Who developed romantic feelings first?

Oh hard to say… I’d say around the same time. Des felt guilty about it. Charlie felt half guilty half hopeless (thinking Des would never want him)

Who is their biggest “shipper?”

The Universe because I subscribe to the corny but enjoyable Charlie/Des fanfic trope where Des gets a vision about them being together and that motivates him

also Claire. also Penny (please note the foursome au i mentioned)

When did they have their first kiss and under what circumstances?

Well, I do like to imagine it happening in the jungle (under the dappled sunlight), so within that timeframe then

Who confessed their feelings first?

Both options are plausible in their own way, whilst being as equally unplausible because they’re both insecure fucks who don’t communicate well

I’m leaning more towards Des for some reason

What was their first official date?

Hehe, I immediately thought of that scene where Charlie offers the whiskey to Des and they get drunk and giggly together (with Hurley and Jin also)

Actual date, what if Charlie lived and Des taught Charlie to sail and the whole situation took on a more romantic tone than it typically should

How do they feel about double dates/group dates?

Oh, I can picture that. Des, Charlie, Penny and Claire at a really nice restaurant (Penny is cashed up) in nice clothes… oh boy

Also in my ideal version of LOST, this would’ve led to a three-way date:

What do they do in their down time?

music. both playing and discussion of. and it’s mostly charlie talking. des is just kinda chilling. in turn, des goes on about books when he can

in fact, in my mind, most of their relationship is charlie revving out about something while des patiently sits and listens, with a comment every now and again (whether it’s snide or not depends) 

i can’t help but see them both as theatre/drama nerds (i mean, like picture the way they were in school) so they gotta catch a performance sometime

bang, duh

What was the first meeting of parents as an official couple like?

Charlie’s mum is definitely dead and I feel like his dad is dead too

And Des’ mum is dead and his dad is either dead or long gone

So none of that then! (instead it’d be the meeting of each other’s brothers)

What was their first fight over and how did they get past it?

I do recall them yelling at each other over some such drama in the show. LOST has a lot of characters yell at each other, they’re all very dramatic and upset

Holy fuck, season three is like a blur to me, what the fuck

Which one is more easily made jealous?

Charlie has a serious and canonical issue with jealousy. Irrational possessive frowny face jealousy. It’s one of his worst character flaws, really. Like every LOST character, he’s super insecure and doesn’t think much of his worth.

This is why Charlie craves attention and validation more than drugs.

What is their favourite thing to get to eat?

charlie: the previously mmm’d banoffee pie

des: his fave foods are all liquid if you get my meaning. aw, just kidding

fun fact: i was eating roasted cashews when i first saw “flashes before your eyes” so now whenever i think of or see desmond i taste cashews in my mouth

so i guess i can imagine des snacking on nuts

also in one episode he mentioned enjoying haggis, because of course he does

Who’s the cuddly one? What their favourite cuddling position?

i’m thinking des is more cuddly than charlie (i know charlie is cute but hear me out) because of that headcanon i have that charlie is a bit weirded out when des takes things slow with him in the bedroom. because charlie is used to men always being way rougher with him in bed situations

not that charlie isn’t a cuddler, he is (particularly with women, ya see), he’s just confused and impatient at first. charlie + his sexuality is an odd relationship

Are they hand holders?

[tearing up] yeah, i can see that. that’s a nice mental image

How long do they wait before sleeping together for the first time? What’s the circumstances?

I have no set answer for this, man, when and how it happens changes depending on AU or whatever my mood is. I’ve imagined their first time in lot’s of places. Altho primarily a blowjob against a jungle tree or a fuck in Charlie & Claire’s tent (Claire may or may not be involved. as i said, mood)

Who tops?

They can go either way but it’s mostly Desmond

On just the island, its always Desmond

What’s the worst first they’ve ever gotten into?

Uh, can’t think of any

Who does the shopping and the cooking?

Des can cook better than Charlie

Which one is more organized and prone to tidiness?

Based on Charlie’s loft, Des is by default

Do they have children? How many?

…well, there’s Aaron and bb Charlie in a… four people raising kids together situation. And ya know, considering that I headcanon Charlie as trans, I could have them have a kid in a Charlie Lives AU. That is a possible road to take.

[plasticnaturedraws]

ASOUE Meme! feat. Plasticnature

Get to know why I REALLY REALLY love A Series of Unfortunate Events I guess, haha! Thanks for tagging me, @adrinosekai, it’s about time I do one of these! :)

Favorite book in the series:  GOSH, way to start off hard! I really, really, can’t pick just one, or even a top 3 because each book has such wonderful, entertaining, and mysterious moments in them that it’s much too difficult for me to choose, but I guess I’d have to say anything from the 5th book upward have to be my faves! That’s when the ball starts rolling, a phrase which means that the plot starts getting more deep, dangerous, and full of mysteries! And they meet more friends and foes!

When did you read them for the first time: Well, I’ll start off by saying I remember my mom had them in a bookshelf with a glass case and I was always so curious to read them because of the interesting illustrations and the curious paper binding. But because they were stowed away behind glass and had a message on the back cover that always remarked something terrible about the Baudelaire orphans, I always assumed they were for older people and not for the eyes of someone young like me! But eventually I did read them, but not until I was about 13 or 14 years old or so! :’(

Favorite character: HONESTLY I CAN’T REALLY PICK? I guess I really love Klaus, he’s so stubborn and sassy and he cries when he gets frustrated or worried or when he thinks that all hope is gone forever and I love how believable of a character he is when he encounters hard situations... he’s much stronger than I would be in his situation tbh, they all are...

Kit/Dewey or Kit/Olaf: Kit and Dewey!! A love, much too short, ending all too quickly.. :’’’’’’’(

Favorite Quagmire: Hmmm, I really love all of them very, very much! So that’s my answer. All 3!

Favorite Baudelaire: Klaus! That kiddo brings so much to the table and always manages to find a way to help his siblings selflessly! Also, he kinda reminds me of myself haha, since i’m quite a book nerd and is often sassy, frustrated, and needs comfort from others quite a bit. He’s jusT. SO. WONDERFUL.

Favorite Snicket: LEMONY SNICKET!! He’s so great, and I love his charming humor and devotion to keeping the Baudelaires safe from harm. I think his character is so, so interesting and whenever I flip through the Snicket Autobiography book and the ATWQ books, I can’t help feeling amazed when I find out about things he did in the past! I really wanna learn more about his experiences and circumstances.

Did you see the 2004 movie in theaters: I don’t recall it ever being out tbh, my mind must have been on other things. But I do remember buying the DVD as soon as it came out and for Christmas receiving the Nintendo Gameboy game! (I still have it ;))

Thoughts about the movie: I don’t quite think it was as bad as many other fans of the series seem to have felt about it. I think, for what it’s worth, it was a film that was entertaining, funny, and represented the kiddos pretty well. (despite the most irritating things being that Klaus didn’t wear his glasses and Violet wore such horrible clothing) Sure Jim Carrey kinda made Count Olaf a bit too funny, but I think he held a nice look for the Count and had a goofy enough attitude to represent Olaf when he was ridiculous in the books. I CAN say, however, compared to the Netflix show, I think I liked Sunny a bit more in the films, and I admired the creepy, Snicket-y music a LOT more in the movies, too. Also, something I miss from Count Olaf’s character was just the amount of expression and pitch in his voice which I think NPH kinda lacks... I dunno haha. 

Favorite quote: I don’t know quite well why it’s stuck with me but I really love this one!

"Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us, and glimpsed the follies, and misfortunes that would befall us later on, we would all stay in our mother’s wombs, and then there would be nobody in the world but a great number of very fat, very irritated women."

Have you ever met Daniel Handler:  NO BUT I WANNA *cries a lake’s worth of tears*

Thoughts about ATWQ: Um, amazing, pls write more Lemony!! I feel like we were just SO CLOSE to finding out even more about VFD and about characters’ intentions and about mysterious places and terrible secrets an d  past events an d and and

Favorite ATWQ character: Lemony or Moxie! I can’t choose at all. Even S. Theodora Markson, for goodness sake!! They’re all so enjoyable to read about haha

Favorite moment in ASOUE:  WHENEVER THE KIDDOS WERE HAPPY

Would you ever get an eye tattoo: Oh heck yes! I really, really want one but my mother, who has an ENTIRE sleeve of tattoos and is starting on her next, says I ain’t allowed to. >:(  I figure when I graduate college that I’ll get it, whether she wants it or not, as a little graduation gift to myself though!

Fire-fighter or Fire-starter: Fire- fighter! Those poor souls get into so much trouble...

Least favorite character: In terms of character development and overall helpfulness, I’d say Mr, Poe! He’s the worst adult there is. He just keeps on bringing bad news! Plus, isn’t there a theory that he’s not quite on the good side???

Did the Quagmires survive: Yes!! I don’t know how I just really REALLY wanna believe. We need them back, it’s too tragic to think about them being all alone and frightened!!

In your opinion, what is the great unknown: The great unknown.. is a synonym. It’s not meant to be something we can see or hear. The great unknown is something we are meant to understand and I think that’s evident throughout the entire book series in Lemony Snicket’s world.

Did you like the way the series ended: *sigh* Well, yes and no. I want more answers, but I do love that we are left asking more questions and being fascinated by the circumstances left in the last book. There feels like hope and despair at the same time and I think that’s enough satisfaction I can ask for from these books. Plus, it makes it more interesting this way ;)

What question do you most want answered by Handler: Where is the gosh-dang suGAR BOWL, WHAT IS IN IT, AND WHY DID THE SCHISM OCCUR

What are you most excited for about the Netflix series: Truthfully I have only watched the first 2 books in the season so far, but I’m super excited to see how Daniel Handler is representing the secret lives of the adult VFD members right now. I think the adults fascinated me the most in the series, and to see and hear what they’re doing during this space and time is pretty cool! Also, QUAGMIRES AND THE ERSATZ ELEVATOR AND THE CARNIVOROUS CARNIVAL cause climbing down dark shafts to lonesome friends and watching man eating lions devour people is fun!!

Binge watching or spacing out the episodes:  Yeah, right now i’m actually re-reading each book for the umpteenth time before I watch each episode on Netflix so I get in the right mindset and can compare what I had in mind to what I see on screen. It’s always so much fun re-reading the series!! They get better and better each book! :)

Gee, I wrote quite a lot, but I just gotta say it’s so much fun reading about these kids and learning about their world. I just love the wit and humor Snicket writes with and I am always so impressed by how deep the story goes, far deeper than the 13 books, 1 Autobiography book, 1 selection of letters written to and from Beatrice, 4 books written from the past through Lemony’s eyes, and many more can even describe or offer... I think trying to uncover things when you are learning about them from a child’s eye is so interesting and important and I wanT TO KNOW MORE

[rationedwell]

haven (and if you got it already, then supernatural - or both)

send me a fandom —accepting.

PORQUE NO LOS DOS,HAVEN

the first character i ever fell in love with: duke was my favorite before i ever watched the series. thank you, gifsets.

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not:  vince teagues got where he pissed me off pretty fast. i went in and out of liking both audrey and nathan, but that’s just because of duke’s storyline.

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not:  audrey and nathan. i mean, i get it, but i don’t like it.

my ultimate favorite character™:  duke crocker??????? followed close behind by jennifer and gloria.

prettiest character:  duke crocker. but claire too. like damn. and audrey. and nathan. and wwe superstar edge. and we all know how i feel about jennifer.

my most hated character:  croatoan. for a big bad, he was kinda dumb.

my OTP:  dukifer, of course. after that? i always wanted duke and lexie to be a thing.

my NOTP:  WADE AND JORDAN ISTG

favorite episode:  friend or faux was a good one. it’s the first episode that really showed duke’s true colors. after that, the dream one that started off with mr. sandman, specifically because it started off with mr. sandman.

saddest death:  gee. i wonder.

favorite season:  s3 killed it.

least favorite season:  s5 has some downfalls. namely, the way duke’s appearances slowly became less and less frequent.

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate:  ... jordan

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave:  the rev. simon crocker too, but we don’t know enough about him to know he’s actual trash. mara, for sure. and i guess duke’s pretty much trash too.

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave:  jennifer :)))))))))

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship:  haaaaa duke and mara.

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship:  dwight and gloria, but as a brotp more than anything. but i brotp ship gloria with everyone.

SUPERNATURAL

the first character i ever fell in love with:  sam winchester

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not:  sam winchester

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not:  i’m not that invested in spn ships anymore. i guess i don’t really like the idea of dean and lisa as much as i used to. it’s the way dean acts when he’s with her. it bother’s me; it isn’t him.

my ultimate favorite character™:  garth fitzgerald iv is my heart song

prettiest character:  have you seen abaddon?

my most hated character:  metatron was dumb. and confession — i’m not that big on castiel anymore either. they wrecked him.

my OTP:  dean and the metallicar. not “baby”.

my NOTP:  wincest. destiel.

favorite episode:  faith, by far.

saddest death:  i’d say dean’s, but that’s pretty vague, isn’t it? specifically the transition to demon dean. they did a fantastic job with those dramatics.

favorite season:  7. don’t look at me. it’s hilarious.

least favorite season:  6 was hard to watch. i even went back to see if it was just my mindset when i tried the first time, and i still can’t. i also stopped watching after 9 or 10. i’m not sure which.

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate:  eh??? no one really. again, i’m not fond of new castiel. and i don’t like how the only way they can keep a female character alive is for her to be a lesbian or “too old” to ship with them.

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave:  gadreel. dick roman.

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave:  literally everyone who died in the boys’ wake.

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship:  soulless sam and rat. wait, that crossed fandoms.

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship:  all of them, right now. but i did passively ship dean and jo.

[selenaslittletalks]

2017

It’s that time again, and I already know this one will be particularly difficult to write.

I’ll begin with last year’s resolutions:

1. Exercise more and eat healthier. This is probably as cliché as it gets.  And it’s probably one that is broken the most.  I’m getting older, and my body is deteriorating.  2. Appreciate the little things more.  I take so much for granted, and I think I need to be more appreciative of everything that happens.3. Make friends.You have like none. You should be more social and find a group of people that click with you for once.  Find friends that you share interests with.  Find friends who you’re genuinely happy to be around.  Find friends who you can be yourself around.4. Appreciate myself more and be happier. This one is going to be hard.  I know it. I’ve been trying to do this for years.  Keep working at it.  Things won’t always go your way, that’s okay.  Understand your own limitations.  Understand your greatness.  Appreciate all the good you do and stop paying so much attention to the bad. Do more of what makes you happy.  Try to do these. 

Well gee, I don’t think I did any of these. They are all however things I’d still would very much like to work on next year, so I’ll probably carry them over onto 2018, possibly with some modifications because they are pretty broad.  This year, I’m not really sure how I want to format this. I’m thinking start with the good and gradually go to the bad, then entertainment mentions, and then resolutions. Yeah, that sounds alright. The biggest thing that happened this year was I graduated college. I got my undergraduate degree in Computer Science. And honestly, I didn’t enjoy that period or milestone as much as I should have. I’ll get to why in a bit. I bought myself a Nintendo Switch this year. I’ll admit it was pretty impulsive, but I don’t regret it one bit. I haven’t owned a console since a Nintendo DS Lite, so it’s definitely been a while. It’s an amazing piece of technology. It’s portability, and ability to be docked is insane. And I’ve played probably one of my favorite games ever, Super Mario Odyssey. I love it so much. I don’t think I’ve ever had as much fun as I did playing this game. I’m looking forward to new features and titles to be released next year. 

I got my first official full time job as an associate software developer. It’s been a difficult and long journey, but I did it. Let’s get into it shall we. This year has been probably the most difficult yet. I’ve had countless nights of sobbing on the floor. Curled up, headphones in, and just bawling my eyes out. I had so many of these episodes. I even documented some of them as they were happening, and I was at my lowest point ever. I didn’t know my purpose in life. I didn’t know what I was doing. I felt lost. I felt worthless. I hated myself. I didn’t want to live. It was a vicious cycle. And what’s crazy was it was all self-inflicted. I put an insane amount of pressure on myself to find a job. Seeing all of my peers become successful and start their careers and lives, while I was left behind in the dust destroyed me. To cope with this, and to try to maintain what little remained of my sanity, I closed myself off from everyone and everything. I detached myself from society. In hindsight, I think that was the best thing I could do, granted I didn’t have a single person I could entrust with anything. Or a person that would understand what I was going through. And going through all of that alone forced myself to maintain focus on me and disregard any and all things others were doing. It was a terrible time, but I overcame, and learned a lot about myself, life, and the world. Right now, I don’t think I am happy. I am more so, just relieved that I am no longer caught in the vicious cycle of the job-seeking and interview process. I am just content that I have a source of income, that I am learning, and that I am moving forward, no matter how small a step it’s still toward the right direction. Did I think that once I got a job that every awful feeling would evaporate from my blood and bones? Yes, I did. And I was naive in believing that. The problem is deeper, and I’m still working at it. What I learned from all of this was that a lot of those sayings and advice that people give you are true. It’s just very difficult to live by them. Don’t compare yourself to others. Have faith and belief in yourself. You can do anything if you work hard for it. Nothing is ever guaranteed. Expectations are hardly ever the same as reality. These, and a whole slew of others applied to me. It’s insane to me, to reread some of these posts during or after some of my breakdown episodes. It’s a strange phenomenon, of being able to reflect on how awful you felt once before. And it’s amazing to see yourself in a better place, overcoming all of the treachery. I think I need to give myself a lot more credit than I do. I know I need to appreciate myself, and love myself more. Because, I am stronger than I know. Coming out of all of this proves just that. Even in those moments where I felt powerless and worthless, I somehow mustered enough to continue and fight on. I think in large part, entertainment had a lot to do with that.  TV has always been one of my greatest passions in life. I pride myself on how many TV series I’ve seen and episodes I’ve watched. This year I watched a lot of good shows, old and new.  The Gifted - I think this show only got on my radar from SDCC posts. I saw one of my favorite fellow Asians, Jamie Chung was in it as Blink, and it was in the X-men Universe so I was already sold. The show was a lot better than I anticipated. And I also ended up loving Polaris the most, oops. And this show gave me Emma, who is now one of my favorite humans.  Marvel’s Runaways - I originally wasn’t planning on watching this at all. But something compelled me to one evening, and I watched the first 3 episodes. I’m glad I did. It gave me my goth witch queen Nico. And this show just keeps getting better and better every week.  The Punisher - I loved Frank Castle in Daredevil S2, so it was a no brainer to watch this. It had all the blood and gore I was anticipating, and it even got me to feel Kastle things, WHICH I WAS NOT READY FOR. All the flashback with Maria and the kids, hurt me to no end. Frank can just be murdering people and I’ll be all THAT’S MY BB PROTECT HIM. Which he clearly doesn’t need any help with btw.  The Bold Type - This was probably one of the most important shows for me and I almost gave up on it. I watched the pilot and wasn’t crazy about it and quit for about 2-3 weeks. Then one night, I got bored and watch the new episodes on Hulu, and I got sucked in. This show came to me in the way the universe and fate work. It’s about three 20-somethings navigating their careers, love lives, relationships, and life in general. I think it’s a show that we’re lacking and I’m glad that it exists in the world. It’s relatable on numerous levels, going through similar struggles in finding a career and friends. And I’ll always love and support shows that feature strong female characters and relationships. And I am beyond grateful that Freeform renewed it for 2 more seasons.  American Horror Story - I tried this long ago, but came back to it because of Stevie. I learned she was in Coven and I watched it because of her. I loved it. And I got a new fave out of it as well. Jessica Lange. She’s incredible.  Big Little Lies - This was getting a ton of buzz from award shows, and it was star-packed so I was all in. I loved every bit of it, except that it was too white. But the heavy topics of domestic abuse, infidelity, sexual assault, and the societal pressures to hide all our insecurities and flaws were depicted perfectly. And the overall theme and ending of women helping women to stand up against men is something we all need to live by.  Movies I watched this year that amazed me. In the Mood for Love - This film has been haunting me ever since Summer of 2014, where I took a film studies class and the professor showed the corridor clip from this movie to demonstrate a tracking shot and I never wrote down the name of it. And since then I’ve been desperately trying to find it. But one night, I was on youtube and randomly stumbled upon a top 10 mojo saddest movies (or something along those lines), and I saw this movie in Chinese. I’m like huh, this looks interesting I want to watch it. And then the next clip showed the corridor scene. I almost screamed. And I immediately watched it afterwards. I found the entire film on youtube. I wanted to like this movie a lot. And it lived up to what I was hoping for. And this movie really opened the door for me to watch more Hong Kong cinema. It basically set the ball in motion for me to go on a Wong Kar-Wai binge. I’ve watched almost all of his movies. But most importantly, I think it showed me that Asians are more than capable of acting, directing, and the whole shabang. And it set a fire in me to always support Asians in Hollywood, because we are far underrepresented. And there’s really no reason why, because all of Hong Kong cinema show that we have the art form down to a T, I think we just haven’t had the opportunity to shine.  Thelma and Louise - I saw this on Hulu, and I remember this being one of Emilia’s favorite films, and I’ve always heard that it was a cult classic. I watched it one night, and I was blown away. It’s been a long time since a movie wowed me. It’s everything I’ve always wanted. I wanted a best friend and a relationship exactly like Thelma and Louise. Where’s my Louise!?!  Wonder Woman - This movie was amazing. It was the first time I watched a female superhero on screen. I love Gal and everything she put into this movie. I love everything Wonder Woman stands for, and I love the empowerment that it’s given women all across the world. I love how I felt walking out of that theater feeling like I could do anything. Albums that came out this year. I See You - The XX: This is probably my favorite album of the year. I also saw The XX live, and they were incredible as expected. I was only 1 person away from the stage.  Goals and resolutions for next year. 1. Make more friends and be more sociable. I want to go to meetups and take classes to meet like minded individuals. I think I’ve never found friends that have the same interests as me and we never really had anything in common. I think this is an important, if not vital, factor in any friendship. Without it, there’s nothing to bond you together. 

2. Love yourself fully. If this year has taught me anything, it’s taught me how important it is to love and to believe in yourself.  At the end of the day, you’re all you have. And if no one is there for you, you should at least be there for yourself. It makes no sense to hate who you are. Embrace yourself. All your flaws, your strengths, your mind, your heart, and your soul. Be true to yourself, and fight for yourself. And never, ever waver from who you want to be and who you are.

2017, you’ve been the worst to me. But through you, I’ve learned so much about myself and about life. You taught me valuable lessons. You broke me. But I’m still standing, and 2018 will be the year I rebuild myself. 2018 will be the year I take what is mine. 2018 will be the year I flourish.