#gczebos

[cookies-over-yonder]

an illusion of the mind

A bully suddenly targetting Riz and yanking him by the tie startles him a lot more than it should. And it's because he's choking.

inspired by i've made a mystery of myself by gczebos

ao3

Riz is walking through the hall with the Bad Kids when he suddenly bumps into another student. Not a common occurence, but considering his lack of sleep, it isn't too shocking.

What is shocking, is the pure voice of rage he hears as his tie is yanked forward and his throat constricts. "Watch where you're going, bitch!"

Riz shuts his eyes and sucks in a breath, feeling dizzy.

The air comes in short bursts, something sending pain through his chest and making him shake.

He tries to speak, but the grip on his neck gets tighter, and all that comes out is a choked whine.

There's more yelling. It sounds like his friends.

They're yelling for him, aren't they?

The grip gets even tighter—large, calloused hands squeezing, and squeezing until he can't breathe.

Riz has never been strong. He's never been strong, and he never will be strong, and he knows any attempt to pry the hands off from around his neck is fruitless, but he still tries. He tries, and he gasps for air, and cries out in little whines, and he can't breathe, he can't breathe, he can't breathe—

There's another hand on his shoulder, probably to pick him up and throw him before he's even dead.

And he's right, and when he feels himself lifted into the air, he braces for impact, continuing to fruitlessly gasp for air.

The hands squeeze their tightest around his neck, and this is it.

This is it.

He hears his name.

He hears his name and he digs his fingers further into the grip around his neck in a last attempt to pry himself free.

"Riz..."

It's faraway.

It doesn't sound like one of the Bad Kids, Riz thinks, continuing to choke and pry.

"...Jawbone," he hears.

Jawbone isn't on this adventure. He's back in Solace.

"Riz, it's me, Jawbone, your counsellor, can you hear me?"

Riz nods. Why is Jawbone here?

"Riz, it's me Jawbone. You're in Elmville, in my office at Aguefort Adventuring Academy."

No... this is another trick. Get them relaxed and then take them out when they're not expecting it.

"You're not in the Nightmare King Forest. You're not in danger. You're safe here."

It doesn't make sense. Not when he can feel himself actively choking to death.

"You're not choking, you're hyperventilating. You're in Elmville. You're not in danger. You're with Jawbone, your counsellor. You're safe here. Can you hear me?"

Riz nods again.

"Can you open your eyes?"

Riz opens his eyes, and he's all but blinded by the pink of Jawbone's salt lamp.

"Can you look around the room?"

Riz sees a desk, a waste bin, the door, his tie...

His tie?

Riz feels around his neck. His tie isn't there. It's on the floor.

"Your friends took that off for you," Jawbone says, and Riz sees his face.

Kind eyes.

"You're with me, and we're in Elmville, and you're safe. You're not in danger."

Riz nods, feeling a sharp pain in his chest.

"We're gonna take some deep breaths, okay?"

Riz nods again.

"Alright, breathe in with me," Jawbone says, before taking in an exaggerated breath.

Riz tries his best to follow.

"And let it out," Jawbone says, doing a big sigh.

Riz sighs as well.

Jawbone breathes in again, and so does Riz, and he sighs, and so does Riz.

They do that a couple more times, and Riz isn't sure when it happened, but he's holding Boggy in his lap as they continue.

"You with me, kiddo?" Jawbone asks after a while.

"I—" Riz winces at the raspiness of his voice, and nods instead.

There's a bang against the door, and then:

"Kristen!"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm good, guys! Saved by the pull-up bar!"

"Shh! We're gonna disturb them! Also you're welcome for that by the way!"

"Guys, I'm sure he's alright. He's with Jawbone, it should be fine."

Riz looks at the door and then back to Jawbone.

"They're just worried about you," he says.

"Wha—what—what happened?" Riz asks, mentally cursing at the stutter, his gaze fixed on his tie.

"From what your friends told me, and from what I saw, I'd say you might have had a flashback."

"I—I—I..."

Riz keeps staring at his tie on the floor, and Jawbone picks it up and passes it to him.

He puts it on with trembling hands, keeping it loose. 

"How—how did..." Riz starts, looking down at Boggy, who's giving him a reassuring, adorable smile. "I was in the—the hallway..."

"Your friends brought you here," he says.

"Ri...right. Okay. I..."

Riz feels his ears and cheeks heat up, and he cups his face in his hands, knowing he's blushing hard.

And to make matters worse, he feels dried tears stuck to his cheeks. Surely he'd been sobbing in the middle of the hallway. This is gonna do wonders for every bully.

"It's nothing to be embarassed of, kiddo. You went through something traumatic, and that's serious."

Riz doesn't respond. Nor does he look up from his hands.

"I know you like to keep to yourself, but  I'll admit I'm getting to be a little concerned, and I want you to know we can work on this together if you're open to it. My door is always open for you, Riz."

Riz wants to go home.

He doesn't want to face the other Bad Kids. Not like this.

"Can—can you... can you call..."

Riz clears his throat. God, it's hard to talk.

"You want me to call your mom?"

"Uh-huh..." Riz whines, drawing his knees to his chest and burying his head in them. "I—I don't... I don't want to... I—I... Sorry. Sorry."

"It's okay, kiddo. It's all okay. I'm gonna call your mom, and we can excuse you from the rest of your classes for today."

"'M gonna—gonna—gonna miss my—my clubs..."

"That's okay, you hear me? Hey, can you plant your feet on the ground for me?"

Riz does so.

"Watch me, now," Jawbone says, and Riz looks up. He's got his feet on the ground too, mirroring Riz. He starts to slowly tap his thighs with his hands. Left, then right, then left, then right. "Can you try this with me? Just tap. Left, right, left, right."

Riz follows along, tapping each leg and gazing at his trembling hands.

"There you go. When you start feeling anxious, thinking about your trauma, I want you to start doing that. Just start tapping, left and right."

"O—okay..." Riz mumbles.

"Alright, you can stop for now, but I want you to keep that in your back pocket, okay?"

Riz nods, and gives Boggy a squeeze.

"I'm gonna step out and call your mom, alright?"

He nods again.

And Jawbone is gone.

Riz thinks he can hear a hushed conversation outside the door between the Bad Kids and Jawbone.

Riz looks down at his backpack beside his feet.

...

He crawls inside and zips it shut.

This way, he can just be carried to the car and no one will see him.

And while he's alone in this room, no one will hear him cry either.

So he does.

He cries, and he waits, and he cries some more.

And eventually, he hears a knock at the door, and he sucks in a breath.

"Riz, honey?" he hears from the other side.

Mom.

"I'm coming in," she says, and he hears the door open and shut behind her.

"Can you carry me out in here so my friends don't see me?" he asks, voice wobbly.

"Riz..."

He feels a hand on his back through the fabric of his backpack.

"It can't be comfortable in there, can it?"

"Please, Mom."

He feels her slide on the backpack and start to walk.

During the walk back to the car, he checks his crystal. It's almost blinding against the darkness of his bag.

There's a few texts from his friends in their group chat.

The Bad PhotosyntheKids

Fig: riz if anyone tries to bully you like that again we'll fuck them up

Gorgug: Fabian says we'll eliminate them

Fabian: ELIMINATE. IN ALL CAPS GORGUG!

Kristen: we'll always look out for you bro

And some private messages.

Fabian: The Ball, are you alright?

Fig: i think that asking if you're okay is probably a bad question but i'm not sure what else to say so i'm just gonna say let me know if there's anything i can do to help ok? love you man

Adaine: i know how embarassing it is to break down and panic in front of people and i just wanna say im here for u and it's not ur fault when ur brain gives u hell and i love u and i'm here for u always. i'm here if u want to talk or if u just want to not talk about anything and just hang out just in general i'm here. i feel like im rambling sorry i just want u to know i care about u so much and ur never alone ok?

Riz reacts to Fig and Adaine's messages each with a little heart. Adaine sends a close up picture of Boggy smiling after he sends the reaction, and he gives that a heart too.

"Riz, honey, it's time to get in the car," Sklonda says, unzipping his backpack.

Riz climbs out and slips into the passenger seat, bucking the seatbelt and staring at the ground.

Sklonda shuts the door beside him and travels to the other side.

"Jawbone didn't tell me much, you know," she says while she drives.

Riz whines.

"He said that you should consider meeting with him weekly. I think it's a good idea too."

Riz whines again and Sklonda sighs.

"We can talk about it another time, right now I just want you to rest, okay, baby?"

"Okay, Ma..." Riz mumbles, fiddling with his tie and running the soft fabric between his fingers.

Riz doesn't say much else as they park, go through the elevator, and get inside. Sklonda walks beside him the entire time, not touching him, which he appreciates.

He curls up in his parents bed—it's second nature, really, to lie down on Pok's side when he's feeling vulnerable.

Sklonda sits on the other side, and he grabs her hand to hold and shuts his eyes. She gives his hand a squeeze and slides his glasses off, and he hears her fold them and put them on her bedside table.

Riz shifts to wrap both his arms around one of hers and pull her closer, rubbing his forehead against her bicep.

She runs her fingers through his hair, and he yawns.

"I love you, honey."

"I luh you too," he mumbles back, and promptly drifts off to sleep.

[pawpunkao3]

for the writing thing, ten and thirteen?

10: Do you enjoy sharing WIPs or snippets? Why or why not?

I wish I didn't feel the need to, bc I want everything to be A Surprise, but yeah. My writing process doesn't function without me narrating what I'm doing to The Buddies at every step (although I do try to keep my sharing to DMs and smaller servers)

13: What are some must-read fanfics in your fandoms? Why do you admire these, and how have they impacted your works?

Strongtower Luxury Apartments, Swimming Pool by sulfuric. I like this fic so G-ddamn much I'm putting it above the readmore bc everyone needs to read it. I need to print this out and analyze it so I can write fics HALF as good.

Ok get ready for a LONG ass list because there are TRULY so many good fics in this fandom. I wish I could say good fics encourage me but honestly bad fics do more. I wanna be Better Than People

Fantasy High:

summer fun, something's begun by knightserrand (modern au where they're camp counselors. It's just classic fun

burn you to the ground by knightserrand (Sandra Lynn character study that KILLS ME MURDERS ME KILLS ME)

no better version of me by knightserrand (modern AU where Gorgug is Zelda's son's teacher n then they fall in love. It's DEEPLY cute.)

The Duke Who Loved Me by Myrcellastar (QUINTESSENTIAL fabiadaine. i like it :)

a quiet place to scream (how i love you) by knightserrand (fabian x fig x gorgug hanahaki)

I hope this email finds you on the verge of an identity crisis! by sulfuric (Riz Is Ace story told in emails which I LOVE epistolary fic FTW)

today, i somehow understand the reason i was born by honey_butter (Fabian and Riz adopt a baby)

so big / so small by gczebos (Sklonda thinks her baby is dead. It's so sad i love it)

waning crescent by Chromathesia (Kalina character study)

only the sky (hey, man, isn't it poetic?) by swallowstyx (Fabian character study THAT ACKNOWLEDGED HES ABUSED HALLELUJAH)

I'm Okay (Trust Me) by anonymous (Fabian sickfic)

Light, Refracted by ST4RSTRUCK (Gorgug's birth parents have a baby)

your dungarees and your lace-up boots by mothwrites (Aelwyn character study)

The Unsleeping City:

certified dad vibes by knightserrand (Ricky and Esther acquire a baby)

new perspective by hysteries (I'm gonna be real this is close to smut. But I Likey too much to not include)

and it's warm and real and bright by grasslandgirl (AU meet cute where Dale is a single dad and Sophia is his daughter's favorite hairdresser)

Languages of Love by Nagasha (Rickyesther 5+1, written for me by my good friend :)

Other:

Show Me Already by GoblinNerves (Norman and Skip bonding. Mind the tags.)

Duty by Remidyal (a look at Ruehob far in the future and BOY is it sad!)

Not According to their Fanfiction by AgentStannerShipper (A series of K x Evan fics riffing on fic tropes. SO GOOD)

[tinyarmedtrex]

“dragon” for the one word prompt? love your stuff!!

Did someone say hogwarts AU???

No? That’s okay, everyone can have one anyway.

“You’re adding too much dragon’s breath!” Eddie hissed, grabbing Richie’s hand before he tipped the whole bottle in. “It’s going to explode!” 

“Nah it’ll just improve it. Every potion needs more dragon’s breath.” Came Richie’s cocky reply, grinning at Eddie as he said it. 

Eddie set his jaw, trying not to scream at his table mate. No one drove him up the wall like Richie Tozier did. The day they’d been assigned as partners in potion was the worst day of Eddie’s life. He’s gone so far as begging Slughorn to give him anyone else. Slughorn had refused, saying that inter-house relationships were important and that Eddie needed to learn to work with other people. Now, twice a week, Eddie spent an hour sitting next to Richie, listening to his rambling jokes and terrible voices.

The worst part was that Richie was annoyingly good at potions, especially for a ravenclaw. The other boy just seemed to understand how they worked in a way that Eddie, and pretty much everyone else, didn’t. It was like they spoke to him, nearly every suggestion Richie made turned out correct and they always received top marks. It was awful. 

“Here, look Eds. It’s got the mother of pearl sheen Sluggy wanted.” Richie added, pointing to their cauldron.

Eddie leaned in, ignoring how his arm pressed against Richie’s as he did. Richie always sat close to Eddie, presumably because he knew he hated it. Richie used annoying nicknames for the same reason.  “Yea, I guess.”

“You guess?” Richie replied, eyes twinkling. “Try to sound a little less impressed there, we’re only ahead of the whole class.” 

Eddie was about to bite back but Slughorn was at their table, looking into their cauldron. “Mr. Kaspbrak, Mr. Tozier! A fine looking potion.” Slughorn said, nodding appreciatively. “But tell me boys, what do you smell?”

Eddie leaned in. The potion they were making was a surprise, all of them were supposed to guess what it was based on ingredients and other clues. So far, all Eddie knew was that it was an extremely complicated one. 

“I smell broom wax, antiseptic and-” Richie paused, inhaling deeply. “Pumpkin juice.”

“What?’ Eddie looked at him, shaking his head. “Your nose is broken. It clearly smells like burnt candles, chocolate frogs and that dumb cologne you wear.” He looked triumphantly at Slughorn, expecting him to agree but the professor was just grinning at them.

“Interesting. Eddie, you’re the slytherin seeker correct?” Slughorn asked and he nodded, not seeing how that was relevant. 

Slughorn chuckled, leaning in and whispering to them. “Boys you’re making amortentia. A very powerful love potion that’s said to smell like the things you find most attractive.” His grin grew as Eddie’s mouth dropped open. “Seems that you two smell each other. Very interesting.” He drew back, looking proud of himself. “I’ve always loved creating couples. Potions is the most romantic class after all, don’t you agree?” 

Eddie turned to Richie, seeing that he looked equally as shocked. “Eds-”

“I need to go.” Eddie said quickly. “Quidditch practice.” He couldn’t deal with this- he refused to. He shoved his quills and parchment into his bag, rushing out the door without so much as glancing back.

@wheezyeds  @constantreaderfool @queen-sock  @jem-carstairs-is-perfection  @moonlightrichie @anellope @lifesucksheres20bucks @thorn-harvester-ven @eddiefuckinkaspbrak @andaleduardo @xandertheundead @s-s-georgie @s-onora @spirited-marvel  @roobarrtrashmouth @njess04 @gczebos @kasp-brakz @sourmoist @playing-jim @princesass-theresa @theandrewhurley @mimiharu @kaspbrak-tozier-reddie @no-she-wasnt-reddie  @oldguybones @sloppybitxch   @lumiereandcogsworth @sedanleystanley @kaspbrak-king @ticomat @hadererer @da-damned @space-gay14 @purplepoisonedgem

[rchtoziers]

let the space boys be happy, 14 for fluff plz kat

14. “Am I your lockscreen?” “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

ohohohoh i love this for them. anything for you my dear to make our gay suffering less

*

The past two hours since he kissed Eddie Kaspbrak have been kind of perfect, if Richie is being completely and totally honest.

He’s not biased.

He’s not.

Honestly. Okay, sure, he’s been waiting for this day since the literal second he saw Eddie Kaspbrak for the first time, probably, but he thinks that the last two hours would have been pretty damn great regardless of whether or not he and Eddie has kissed on his porch two hours ago and he’ll say it to anyone that listens.

Okay. Maybe that’s a lie. Richie’s good mood is probably, definitely influenced by the fact that Eddie’s tongue was in his throat two hours ago and it’s probably gonna influence Richie’s mood for the rest of eternity.

Still, it’s pretty fucking great being able to sit on the couch with Eddie and curl into him and not wonder if it means anything when Eddie plays with his hair. Richie can safely assume that it does mean something, and that it means something fucking awesome.

“You’re such a fucking loser,” Eddie mutters, when Richie expresses all of this to him, but his cheeks still go pink and there’s no hiding the faint smile that keeps threatening to take over Eddie’s face no matter how hard he tries. He curls a little bit closer to Richie.

“Like, I know we’re forty year old men, and I should not feel like a middle school girl whose crush just asked her to prom, but here I am,” Richie says dreamily. If he turns his head to the left, he can press a kiss to the top of Eddie’s forehead. He does it after he realizes there’s literally nothing holding him back from doing it.

“Oh my god, stop,” Eddie laughs.

“I shan’t,” Richie says honestly. He’s not sure he’ll ever shut up now that he knows Eddie Kaspbrak loves him back.

Eddie sighs like he’s extremely put out, but his hand is still scratching lightly at Richie’s scalp and coming through his curls calmly and Richie knows, honestly, that if they both had it their way neither of them would move for days.

Richie huffs in indignation when Eddie shifts them just enough so he can pull his phone out of his pocket. “Oh, stop,” Eddie mutters, but when he settles back down he pulls Richie even closer to him.

“It’s so cute that we’re cuddling like we’re teenagers,” Richie says. He half expects his parents to walk in and start teasing them again.

“Do you want me to move?” Eddie asks wryly.

Richie tightens his arm around Eddie’s waist. “Don’t you dare.”

He can feel it on the inside of his bones when Eddie laughs. It starts in his ribcage and expands until his toes are warm and he’s certain his heart could burst right out of his chest. He decides it doesn’t matter, if it does; Eddie would catch it either way.

“Wait a second,” Richie says, when Eddie unlocks his phone. Eddie sighs like he knows what’s coming. “Wait. Please lock your phone again. Please, for science.”

“Just because we’re scientists doesn’t mean you can use for science as an excuse to get people to do things.”

“Eddie,” Richie insists. “Eddie, babe. Love of my life. Light in my sky.”

“Shut the fuck up, Rich—”

“Am I your lockscreen?” Richie asks gleefully.

Eddie sighs for nearly fifteen straight seconds, extremely put out. Richie loves him so much it’s going to kill him. “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

“Babe, we literally just kissed for the first time, like, less than two hours ago,” Richie goes on. “Did you change your lockscreen the second I planted one on you? That’s so fucking cute. Wait. Oh my god. Please tell me I was your lockscreen before I kissed you. Please, Eddie, for my health.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Eddie snaps. “You’re so annoying, I hate you.”

“You literally don’t, I’m your lockscreen. That’s, like, the millennial way of confessing your undying love for someone.”

“I’m changing the picture,” Eddie deadpans.

Richie laughs, loud and bright and happy and warm. “Fine, change it if you’re gonna be whiny about it, but at least make it a sappy picture that you and I take, right now, sitting on this couch and cuddling.”

“What is this, 2015?” Eddie grumbles, but there’s still pink on his cheeks and his eyes are bright and happy when he lifts his phone up to take a picture of the two of them. It’s honestly one of the corniest things Richie’s ever seen, with his arms wrapped around Eddie’s waist and Eddie’s face pressed against his. Still, it’s the best picture Richie’s ever seen and probably the happiest he’s ever looked.

“Send that to me,” Richie asks, and he nuzzles his nose into Eddie’s hair.

“So bossy,” Eddie says around a sigh, but he sets the photo as his new lockscreen and sends the picture off to Richie right after. He can feel his phone vibrate but he makes no move to grab it, too comfortable and happy where he is.

“I love you,” he murmurs, even though he just spent the last ten minutes giving Eddie shit and neither of them have any business being as soft as Richie feels right now. Even though it’s not the first time he’s said it today and likely won’t be the last time he says it today.

He can feel Eddie’s smile even without seeing it. “I know, you weirdo,” Eddie says back.

“Say it back,” Richie whines.

“I literally just changed my lockscreen to a couple picture of us,” Eddie says.

“And now I want you to tell me you love me!”

Eddie laughs. “I said it earlier!”

Richie pinches Eddie’s side. “Eddie.”

“I love you, Christ!” Eddie says around another laugh as Richie pinches his side again. “I’m fucking in love with you. Happy?”

Richie ducks his face into Eddie’s shoulder and holds Eddie just a little bit tighter. “More than I can even say, baby.”

[andillwriteyouatragedy]

let me start by saying THANK YOU for literally EVERYTHING YOU WRITE!!! I reread your stuff all the time, it’s some of my favorite! Keep up the good work and I look forward to seeing what you have in store!

thank you SO MUCH i hope you keep reading and enjoying and loving!!!!!!!

[perenial]

gene you are TOO FREAKIN HANDSOME WHAT THE HECK that pic from your stand up is INCREDIBLE anyway sending you a big ol smooch and lots of love that’s all have a nice day

DEV im love u???

[trashmouthkid]

that air bnb thing you did was everything to me, a sequel??? I beg???

ashdjfk thank you??? when I was writing it, I was considering it in terms of a prequel to a small one shot I’d post on ao3, BUT I know better than to make any promises, I’m notoriously unreliable (but yes, yes I’m thinking about it) 💕

[hellfireeddiemunson]

stozier headcanons? or just like, anything stozier that brings you great joy?

omg yes ok so like here are my headcanons

stan sleeps in a tshirt he stole from richie after richie left it at his house by accident after staying the night

richie stole one of stans cardigans after stan let him borrow it when it was cold out and he didnt want richie to be cold. he likes that it smells like stan and will sometimes return it to stan only for it to get taken back once it smells like stan again

they like to hold hands all of the time

they both know exactly how to calm each other down and know when each other have something theyre upset over

richie will go with stan to look for birds and they just have little talks about everything and anything and stan doesnt even mind that much sometimes when richie accidentally scares away birds

richie will also just sit with stan while stan does puzzles or anything similar even though its really hard for him to just sit there and stan will just let richie blab on about things if he needs to because he knows how hard it is for richie and he enjoys richie’s company

richie likes to make jokes/use pickup lines using names of birds or scout related things and stan always blushes and nudges richie playfully and is just like “....shut up” and richie always gets the biggest smile ever after 

these are all ones that popped into my head hope u enjoy 

[frankburn]

List five things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you. 💕💕✨✨

ahhh shiittttt

1. my HAIR

2. iced coffee

3. s h o p p i n g

4. leaving the house and getting to see really pretty places or just chilling in one of my favorite spots outside my house on a lil hill next to a windmill n watchin the sunset!!!! and writing poetry while doing so :D

5. jack dylan grazer and wyatt oleffs entire existence

💕💝💘💞💓💗💖❤💕💕💕

[rchtoziers]

DEV I WOULD LITERALLY DIE FOR YOU THIS LITERALLY IMPROVED MY DAY SO MUCH AHHH. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH i’m going stupid going crazy i love u actual angel thank you😭😭😭

happy Valentine’s Day! I love you all a lot! especially some of these amazing folks:

@rchtoziers (literally I cry thinking about how much I love you), @arthoebyers (what a star), @nohomohank (my!!! wife!!!), @strangergaten (my love for you is unreal wow oh wow), @eddiekazier (mwah mwah mwah), @georgiedenbrough (so much love I could cry), @jomcrch (love you and this new url omg), @noxatn (your art??? I cannot handle???), @anthonycarrigan (what a PAL), @coffeekaspbrak (I’m hyperventilating thinking of your art rn omg), @caliceal (we aren’t mutual I don’t think but your comics make me so happy!!!), @tinyarmedtrex (DRABBLES! LOVE! ANGST! AHHHH!), @thatsuperawkwardgirl (what a cutie patootie), @bevchie (also a cutie patootie), @dying-poet (the OG fanfic pal), and lastly but not leastly, @thederrylibrary because where on earth would we all be without them?

you all ROCK and I hope each and every one of you has an incredible day!!!! 💗💗💗💗💗

[richietoaster]

cut me through my skin

hello im posting a fic yaaay surprise!!!

read on ao3

words: 1,030

TW: blood, vomitting, vomitting blood (its a vampire/werewolf universe okayyy)

read unformatted version below:

--------------

“Are you crazy?! You can’t feed on Stan!” 

A hungry, black-eyed Eddie is pulled away from the staircase that Stan is unconsciously leaning against. Richie struggles to hold him back.

“Let go-! I just need a little bit more-”

“When does it stop? What, huh?! You’re gonna kill him. You’re gonna kill him. This is what happens when you start drinking Live blood, and Stan is trying to help Bill!”

Eddie looks over to where Bill is lying at the bottom of the staircase, currently trapped in a dream world. He slumps down on their flipped living room couch. “I-I know, I’m sorry- I just.. Richie, try to understand. I’m a goddamn vampire.. I need- I need blood to survive! And I thought that I could be different, be better, but I just can’t, okay? I’m not cut out for this, okay? Bill has us trapped in our house all because he can’t get his fucking ghostly powers or whatever under control.. And that’s not even the worst part! I’m starving, you’ll be turning tonight, and Stan is a human.” 

Richie apologetically looks away, and then sighs heavily, beginning to take his watch off. Eddie looks at him curiously. 

“What are you doing?”

“I’m being brave.. For all of us..” Richie holds out his arm to Eddie, and makes a fist. “Go ahead,” he tries to encourage, but he sees Eddie hesitate. “Come on, Eds.”

“Wh-? No, I can’t.”

“Well, you don’t really have any other option.”

“Vampires don’t drink from werewolves,” Eddie says.

“Why? Do we smell or something?”

“Yeah, actually! We’ve always taken the smell as a warning.”

Richie rolls his eyes. “That- That’s a thing? Like a legit thing? Eddie for fucks sake, if this is some type of weird vampire-”

“What? No, it’s just something we don’t fucking do. We have never done that.” Eddie shoves Richie’s arm away, but Richie pushes back.

“I have blood, you need blood, and you can’t drink from Stan- at least without permission.. Listen..” Richie crouches down in front of Eddie, holding his face. “I’m strong, alright? I can handle it. You need blood to survive, those are your own words.” He holds out his arm once more, “just do it.. And before I change my mind.”

Eddie takes in a deep breath and nods slowly, hand clasping over Richie’s fist. He’s ready to sink his fangs into Richie’s flesh but immediately pulls back.

“N-n-no-”

“Oh, come on-”

“It’s the smell!”

“I’m gonna fucking change my mind-”

“Alright, alright, give me a se- give me a second!” Eddie shakes his shoulders out once more and then lunges forward to begin feeding. 

Richie is shocked at how it actually doesn’t hurt that bad, but before he can start his thought process of how he feels about all of this, Eddie stops, giving a very specific look, and wipes a stray blood droplet from his mouth, “It.. it tastes different.”

“D-Different? Different how?.. Do you think it’s because of the movie theater popcorn from-” Richie doesn’t finish his sentence before Eddie is diving back in for more. He hisses in pain- or pleasure? No, he doesn’t really know, it’s somewhere in between. A mix. All he knows is Eddie is getting what he needs from this, and Richie is.. getting.. Hard? Oh. Oh fuck.

Eddie pulls back for the last time, “Oh, god,” he gets up to pace around the living room, “I need to walk away.”

“Was it bad?” Richie asks. “It was bad.”

“No! It was good.. Too good..” Eddie bounces on his feet as if he’s experiencing an adrenaline rush. “I’m tingling. Like all over. Oh, man, I’ve never felt more alive despite not actually being alive.”

“Okay, so we’re- so we’re glad we drank me?”

“It’s just- I barely even touched you!”

“Well, I’m assuming that’s a good thing-” as if Karma had second thoughts, Eddie is buckling over, beginning to gag. “Eds, you okay?”

Eddie answers by throwing up the blood he had just drank from Richie.

After a couple minutes of Eddie puking blood and bleeding from his eyes, Richie is holding a warm wet towel on his forehead. “What.. What the fuck was that? Was that like, an allergic reaction or something?”

“What? No, Rich. That’s because I fucking drank werewolf blood. I told you we don’t do that- and it seems like that’s why.. Maybe I can go ask Pennywise if he’s ever-”

“-You said you would never go back to him, Eddie.” Ouch. The whole name.

“I’m not going back to him. But he is my maker and if he can give me an answer about why your blood caused me to react like that.. Then I’d really appreciate it. Because just seconds ago I thought I was going to die.”

Richie grins sheepishly, “But you didn’t.”

Eddie laughs. “No, no I didn’t.”

“Do you regret it then? Are you still hungry?”

“No and no. I don’t regret it and my appetite hasn’t changed. I still feel full, surprisingly. Just don’t know if that’s a good thing or not.” Eddie leans back onto the wall, legs spread, and lets out a sigh. “It just seems like anytime we make progress of.. Of being normal, we’re thrown three steps back.” He locks eyes with Richie, they’re screaming “HELP!” And they both know it. Eddie chuckles dryly. “We’ll never be normal, though, will we? We’re always going to be stuck.. We’re always going to be monsters, aren’t we? I just.. I just can’t slip again.”

“Hey.. hey.. Don’t talk like that, okay? You’re a monster with morals. You didn’t choose this life.. But you’re trying to make the best of it, right? We’re all trying. You’ve got me.. Me and Bill by your side. And maybe even Stan, if he doesn’t completely hate you for drinking him nonconsensually..” Richie looks over to Stan. He’s worried about him and Bill, but there’s nothing he can do about their situation. “We’ll..” He trails off, slowly moving his hand towards Eddie’s, “We’ll figure it out, yeah?”

Eddie’s eyes follow the motion, and copies it, linking their fingers together. “Yeah.. we will,” he says. It’ll just take some time.

kept some of my og tags but added those who asked to be added in!:

Perma taglist (ASK TO BE ADDED OR REMOVED):

@eds-trashmouth @eddiefuckinkaspbrak @s-s-georgie @tinyarmedtrex @are-you-reddie-for-it @richietoizer @richietczier @tk-strand @gczebos @your-mother-and-i-are-separating @derrylosers @thepurplepanther  @tastytozier @melkene @whysthatsofuckingfunnydickwad @its-stranger-than-you-think @legally-devorak @s-onora @becauseweredeltairlines @lifesucksheres20bucks @soooobr @itmovieunofficial @tomhollandslefteyebrow @sloppybitchreddie @iwantmybloodonyourhands @pinkmedusa6 @fandomluvgirl @kelthehuman @panikki @ahhhhgh  @eddiessecondfannypack @rainbowrabblerouser @stellar-alley @thoughtfullyyoungduck @k4spbrak @bi-bi-richie @bastardchildsbestfriend @sloppybitchreddie @yes-dillman-yes @missing-my-bones @eddiegaspbrak @punkassrichie @1rememberme1 @trashmouthbae @studpuffin @anderperries @plattitude @wishupontheecastiel @tinystarscapes @im-sam-fucking-winchester @softmikehanlon @wolfhardsgrazer

[tinyarmedtrex]

the speechless prompt left me...speechless. can we score a part 2, or even just some headcanons about what life is like with a silent Richie?

Read Part 1 here

They rushed Richie to the hospital, of course they did. Everyone was concerned by his sudden silence, all of them throwing glances back at him. Eddie was practically hyperventilating with worry. 

“Richie what- come on, say something- this is- I can’t-” Eddie was sitting next to him in the back seat of Ben’s rental car. He hadn’t gotten a full sentence out yet, despite trying for the last five minutes.

The turtle! Richie shouted, mimicking a turtle with his hands. 

“What the hell? Is that a fish? A fish did this? Did it bite you? I’m sure they carry diseases and-”

Richie shook his head, wishing he had his phone. It had been ruined by the sewers, another thing taken from him. 

He tried to mime writing but Eddie was busy googling native Maine fishes, Ben was speeding down the street and Bev was calling the ER, frantically explaining that they were coming in and what had happened. Richie hadn’t expected to miss his voice so much already.

With a silent sigh he plucked Eddie’s phone from his hands, drawing an indignant cry, and pulled up his texts, typing as short of an explanation as he could.

“The turtle took it?” Eddie asked, reading over his shoulder. “Why?” 

Richie looked at him, his hand going to the tear in Eddie’s shirt where the talon had pierced him.

“For me?” Eddie asked quietly. Richie bobbed his head. 

“Why would you do that? Richie you’re a comedian! Your voice is your livelihood!” 

Richie’s hands trembled as he typed out the words, the ones he should have said years ago, the ones he’d never get to say now.

Because I love you. 

Eddie’s eyes grew huge as he read them. “Ben! Stop the car. Now!” 

Ben hit the brakes so hard that they all surged forward. “Why? What’s wrong? Did something else happen?”

Eddie had already thrown open his door. “You two stay here. Richie, come with me.” 

Richie looked forward, seeing that Ben and Bev were both looking back at him, wide eyes and confused. 

“Now!” Eddie called, standing a few feet away. 

He scrambled to follow, closing the door and standing just outside of hitting distance. Eddie was already pacing, his hand chopping the air. “You idiot! You- you moron! Richie you can’t- you can’t do this! You can’t give up your voice for me!”

Richie shrugged, trying to indicate that he already had. 

Eddie stopped, staring at him. “I can’t even argue with you because you can’t fight back!” Tears sprang to his eyes. “You always fought back! And now-now-” 

Richie pulled him into a hug, not knowing what else to do. Eddie crumpled against him, his tears wetting Richie’s shirt. 

It took Eddie a minute before he could speak, his voice shaky. “You shouldn’t have done that. Not for me.” 

Richie typed up another message, showing it to Eddie.

I’d do anything for you.

Eddie read it, hiccuping through his tears. “I don’t deserve it.”

Sure you do, the world needs it’s Eddie Spaghetti.

“I hate you.” 

Nah.

Eddie smiled as he read the message then he looked up at Richie, looking like he wanted to say more. He took half a step in before stopping and shaking his head. “Let’s get you to the hospital, I want to make sure the turtle didn’t take anything else.”

Like my sexiness?

“He can’t take something you never had.” 

Richie bumped Eddie with his shoulder, pretending to be hurt as they walked back to the car. Ben and Bev shot them questioning looks but Eddie just told them to drive. Richie wanted to ask if Eddie understood his confession, if he felt the same, but he didn’t. He didn’t want to be rejected in front of Bev and Ben. Instead he tried to hand Eddie back his phone. 

“No,” Eddie shook his head, curling Richie’s finger over the screen. “You keep it for now.” Eddie’s hand lingered for a second longer than it needed to and he looked like he wanted to say something but they were already pulling up to the hospital.

Richie spent the next twenty four hours being poked and prodded by doctors. They ran so many tests that Richie lost track, eventually not caring anymore. All of them said the same thing- nothing was wrong with him, it was just that he couldn’t speak. They didn’t know why but he seemed healthy otherwise.  No one had any idea how to help him and several people suggested going to New York or Boston so he could be studied. Richie didn’t want that though, he just wanted to go home. 

He was finally back in his room, trying to sleep in the lumpy bed when Eddie walked in. The losers had been coming and going from the room, all of them felt differently about what he’d done- Ben thought it was brave and romantic, Stan thought it was dumb but unsurprising. Eddie though, Eddie hadn’t come by yet.

‘Hi’ Richie wrote on the whiteboard they had given him. 

Eddie waved, walking over to the edge of his bed.

‘What’s a guy like you doing in a place like this?’

Eddie smiled. Then he lifted his hands, signing something in ASL that he’d clearly memorized, squinting his face as he tried to remember all of it. Richie watched, confused but enjoying it.

‘I don’t know what that means Eds’ He wrote once Eddie finished. ‘Also u know I can hear right?’

“Shut up.” Eddie said, stepping in. “I need to learn sign language if I’m going to communicate with you.” 

Richie’s heart soared, just hearing that he cared enough to try. ‘So what did u say?’

Eddie signed again, slower this time. “I said that I needed time to think about what you’d done for me. It was a huge gesture Richie and we don’t know each other- it’s been nearly three decades! You shouldn’t have done that for me. It was stupid and reckless. You threw away your career!”

Richie sense a rant coming so he hurriedly wiped the board off, writing ‘u didn’t say all that.’

Eddie smiled, shaking his head. “I didn’t. I said, thank you.” He raised his fingertips to his mouth, then lowered them. “And I said,” He pressed his middle two fingers to his palm, leaving his pinky, pointer finger and thumb pointing up. “I love you.” 

Richie stared at the hand then Eddie, waiting for him to add ‘as a friend’ or something else. But he didn’t. Richie copied the gesture, moving his hand forward until their fingers touched. 

“Getting used to a wordless Trashmouth will be weird.” Eddie said quietly, looking at their hands. 

‘I can be just as inappropriate through drawings,’ Richie wrote and Eddie laughed as he moved closer, his hand falling to Richie’s shoulder. 

“I can help you, if you want, get you back on your feet. Maybe stay with you while you recover.”

Richie didn’t point out that there wasn’t going to be ‘recovery’, Eddie knew that as well as he did.

‘I’d like that’ he wrote. The he looked up at Eddie, seeing how close they were. Eddie was staring down at him. 

Abruptly he leaned down, brushing his lips over Richie’s before pressing his forehead to Richie’s. “I guess we don’t need words after all.” He said quietly, smiling at him. 

Richie shook his head, already tilting up for another, longer, kiss.

@chaotickaspbrak @wheezyeds  @constantreaderfool @queen-sock  @jem-carstairs-is-perfection  @reddie-to-cryy @moonlightrichie @anellope @lifesucksheres20bucks @thorn-harvester-ven @eddiefuckinkaspbrak @andaleduardo @xandertheundead @s-s-georgie @edstozler @s-onora @notmyspaghetti @twoidiotsinl0ve @spirited-marvel @lover-mouth  @roobarrtrashmouth @njess04 @reddieobsessed @gczebos @ransonelovebot @kasp-brakz @sourmoist @reddie4diaster @playing-jim @princesass-theresa @theandrewhurley @mimiharu @kaspbrak-tozier-reddie @no-she-wasnt-reddie  @oldguybones @sloppybitxch   @lumiereandcogsworth @isabelleritma @meep2004 @sedanleystanley @kaspbrak-king @ticomat @hadererer

[rchtoziers]

you posted more writing prompts and like a literal goblin, I appeared!!! 61, 79, or 91 please? either in space or after?? bless your ENTITE HEART 💗

91. “Can I hold your hand?”

DEV DID U KNOW I LOVE U. i chose 91 because i already had an idea Stewing and it fit in perfectly with this so i had to!!!!

*

The worst thing so far isn’t even the nightmares.

Richie knows it should be. Or maybe it should be the countless tests he endures every day to make sure his body is still healing. Or the endlessly bland diet that still makes him sick to his stomach most days. Maybe it should be the pitying looks his crewmates give him when he catches himself talking out loud and looks up to see if they’ve noticed. The bed that feels too soft after spending so long sleeping on Martian rock.

No, the worst thing so far is the sleepless nights.

He feels like he’s wandering around the Hermes like a ghost.

Part of him is grateful for the night hours, since the rest of the crew is asleep and it gives him a moment’s reprieve from their worried eyes and helpful hands. But the rest of him is guilty over knowing that he feels this way, that he feels smothered by them in some ways. For hours, for weeks, for months, all he wanted was to get back to his crew and his family. They gave up everything for him, and this is what he gives them back.

He’s not sure when he ends up in the kitchen, but he only registers it when the sound of the automatic door signals as someone walks in. Richie sits on the floor, hunched in over himself, and in his hands and all around him are packets and packets of food.

Eddie crouches down next to him. “Rich,” he says softly, and Richie hates it. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t know,” Richie says petulantly, but there’s truth laced in his words because he’s not sure how he got here or when he got here and what he’s been doing for that entire time.

“You should be sleeping.”

Richie’s fingers tighten around a silver food pack. “I can’t.”

Eddie’s face softens. “Richie, if you’re not sleeping, we have stuff on board for that, it can help you.”

“No, Jesus, I don’t need it,” Richie mutters. He pulls his arm out of Eddie’s grasp, not quite sure when Eddie grabbed onto him in the first place. “My sleep schedule was a lot more fucked than this on Mars, I’m good.”

“Richie,” Eddie sighs. “You were counting the food packets.”

His blood runs cold. It makes sense, now that Eddie says it, that this is what he was doing. How many nights did he spend on Mars counting his potatoes over and over and over again, compulsively needing to reassure himself that there was enough to get him through? How much sleep has he lost over this same thing since coming back to the Hermes?

“Fuck,” he mutters, embarrassed and frustrated and choked up for some reason he can’t articulate. “Jesus. I’m sorry.”

Eddie’s already shaking his head. “You don’t need to apologize,” he tells Richie, and he comes out of his squat to rest on his knees, taking the food packets out of Richie’s grip. “Can I help you count?”

“What?”

Richie looks at him, dazed and surprised. But Eddie’s face is picture-perfect sincerity, no concern in sight. All Richie can see written across Eddie’s features is a genuine desire to help him through this. His throat swells up again.

“If I help you count, we’ll be done faster, then you can get some sleep, right?” Eddie asks. It sounds logical as he says it like that.

Richie nods. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Do you need me to teach you how to count again? I know you probably forgot during medical school.”

“Beep, beep,” Eddie says softly. He dumps a container of food packets on the ground between their legs then puts the empty container back in the cabinet. He drops a packet in and looks at Richie expectantly. “One.”

“Wait,” Richie says, and Eddie stops reaching for another packet. “Wait.”

“What’s wrong, Richie?” Eddie asks, patient as always. He makes a great fucking doctor. Richie’s heart is gonna pound right out of his chest. All he can do is sit here and love Eddie Kaspbrak and hope that it’s enough.

He feels embarrassed to even ask, but the words come tumbling out of his mouth before he can even think to stop them. “Can I hold your hand?”

“What?”

Richie’s face might be on fire. God, he hasn’t talked to a person face to face in eighteen months, and he’s reverted back to the same nerdy kid he was when he was, like, six, who blushed any time he opened his mouth. He feels idiotic for asking, ridiculous for wanting something that seems so juvenile now that it’s out in the open, but he thinks it would help. He knows it would help. The reassuring weight of another’s hand in his would be enough to take the world off of his shoulders.

“Can I hold your hand?” Richie repeats, voice only a little bit stronger than it was. Eddie’s expression goes soft again. “While we count? It’ll... I think it’ll help me calm down.”

“Of course,” Eddie says, like it’s easy, then his right hand slides against Richie’s left hand until their fingers are twined and something slots into place in Richie’s chest. “I should be making fun of you for this.”

“I’d allow it,” Richie tells him honestly.

But Eddie just picks up another food packet and drops it into the container. “Two,” he says, and then he raises an eyebrow at Richie. “You sure you didn’t forget how to count? I’m doing all the hard work here. There was no one to tutor you on Mars, after all.”

“Ooh, Eds gets off on a good one,” Richie says. He halfheartedly throws the closest food packet to him into the bin, grinning broadly when it actually makes it in. “Good to see my NBA career is still on track. Three.”

“You’re an idiot,” Eddie says around a sigh, but he squeezes Richie’s hand as he picks up a different food packet and tries to replicate the same shot, and Richie feels wildly at peace.

[andillwriteyouatragedy]

your writing!!! is so good! I just went back and reread a bunch of my faves last night!!! keep it up I cannot wait to read more!!!

thank you so so much!! this means so much to me!! thank you!!!!!

[certifiedboyf]

The Deadlights showed me my fears, what might come to pass... well, motherfucker? Thanks for the heads up.

The It 2017 secret santa @itfandomprompts for @gczebos , who wanted something angsty w a happy ending including the deadlights and its reddie so!!!! I woulda written something but my computer died ;w; happy holidays!

[kaspgaytozier]

asfgkhlmqxoeitowbq❤️✨😭😍 I requested this from my main blog

thank you so much for the fluff !! I loved it!!! ❤️

19 for adult Reddie pls :)

19. I’ve missed this.

TW - none! Fluffy fun!

God, Richie just wanted to be home.

Being on tour was exhausting as hell, and even though this tour was far shorter than any he’d done Before Derry (his life was split into Before Derry and After Derry now, fuck that Before and After Christ shit fighting a demon clown was way more significant than the birth of a fictional baby), the tour was still longer than he wanted it to be.

And things were different now. Before Derry, he went on tour and came home to a sad and empty house, too big for just one lonely comedian.

After Derry, he had Eddie. And Duchess. And Juliet and Tatum and Lola. (Richie never thought he’d be a father, but every time him and Eddie fostered a child, they ended up adopting as soon as the system would let them.)

Things were different now, and although Richie loved performing for audiences across the United States, all he really wanted was to curl up with his husband, his kiddos, and his dog and watch holiday movies until they all fell asleep.

Who went to see comedy shows on Christmas Eve and Christmas anyway?

Eddie had been furious at first, but so had Richie - his manager said they had to schedule shows for when they’d sell best, and apparently Trashmouth Tozier fans wanted to see him make bad jokes as a holiday gift. His manager Lauren told him to buck up, and use the money to buy the girls the best gifts they’d ever had, and have their own little Christmas a couples days late. Richie thought it was bullshit. Eddie told him to do it anyway, so here he was, in freezing cold Chicago, while his family (his!! family!!) was at home in sunny Los Angeles, celebrating Christmas Eve without him.

He’d finished the show for the night, and even though some old friends had invited him out for drinks, Richie had declined and headed back to the hotel. He had a Skype date with his little ones before they headed to bed.

He logged on to the call, and was immediately met with the giggling faces of Juliet (7 years old, bright red hair that reminded him constantly of Beverly, and the oldest of his three kids) and Lola (4 years old, dark hair paired with bright blue eyes, and currently obsessed with dinosaurs). Tatum and Eddie were missing.

“HI DADDY!” Lola squealed, waving at the screen emphatically. Richie laughed and waved back.

“Hey Loopy, you’re awfully awake. Don’t you know it’s past your bedtime?”

“Not past my beddy time! Papa said!”

Richie raised an eyebrow at this. “Papa said, huh? Juliet, did Papa say bedtime was moved up for some reason?”

Juliet shrugged, but her grin gave her away. “We’re waiting to see Santa.”

Richie’s heart ached. He wished he could be there more than anything. “Well Santa only comes to visit if you’re fast asleep in bed. So the longer you wait up, the less likely it is you’ll see him. Where’s Papa? I wanna make sure he knows the Santa rules.”

Juliet ran off the screen and Richie took in the background for the first time. Normally they Skype from the living room, which is covered in drawings and photos and anything the girls said they wanted on the wall. The wall behind them was blank, and unfamiliar.

“Loopy, whose room are you in?” Lola burst into a fit of giggles, and turned off the Skype call.

Richie immediately panicked, calling Eddie directly from his phone, not his computer. The phone rang a few times, and Richie had already pulled up tickets for a flight home when Eddie picked up.

“Richie -“

“Where are you and Tatum? Loops and Juliet hung up on me and they’re not in the living room and I didn’t get to see you and is everything okay? Is Tatum hurt? What’s -“

“Richie.”

“Eds, come on just tell me what’s going on holy fuck -“

A knock sounded from his hotel room door.

“I don’t need any room service I’m just fine thanks don’t mind me and my mental breakdown!” He shouted at the door before returning to the phone call.

“Daddy don’t have a mental breakdown!” A small voice sounded from the other side of the door, followed by some shushing and “for fucks sake, Loops, you gave us away”, “Tatum just because Daddy talks like that doesn’t mean you can”, and lastly, “ok, Boomer.”

Richie ran to the door and threw it open as fast as he could. There stood Eddie, Juliet, Tatum, Lola, and even Duchess, all decked out in holiday attire.

“You’re here.”

“Of course we’re here, Rich.” Eddie said, stepping forward and kissing his husband gently. “The girls really missed you.”

Richie looked down at his little munchkins. “Did you really miss this guy?” Tatum (6 years old, with black curly hair and big glasses) was the first to tackle him with a hug. The other two joined and Richie toppled over, causing everyone to burst into laughter. Eddie let Duchess down, and soon enough Richie had three little gremlin-angels trying to tickle him, his precious puppy licking his forehead, and Eddie taking a pictures and videos from the doorway.

Once the girls were all tired out and fast asleep in the king-sized bed, Eddie fell asleep shortly after. They’d traveled all day to get there in time, and travel already made Eddie anxious enough with Richie there - so the sleep was well-deserved. Richie snuck out his phone, and snapped a picture of his husband, his kiddos, and his puppy all sleeping in the same bed.

“I’ve missed this.”