#gays stay winning (assuming this film is good)

[aminta]

BADHAAI DO IS ON NETFLIX LFGGGGGG

[lifewithdavefarts]

DaveFarts - Episode 13 “When She Finally Leaves” [Episode List] Dana spends the whole day at Dave’s place. When the girl leaves, Tim, who’s now Dave’s roommate, finds out how much gas a man can hold in just to not look gross in front of a girl.

When She Finally Leaves

In the last few weeks I’ve been spending more and more nights at Dave’s place, whether because I needed a place to work, write my essays, or simply to spend some quality time watching bad films and drinking beer. It was Dave himself to ask me to “marry him” (as he jokingly put it), basically becoming official roommates, which also meant dividing our tasks and obviously splitting the rent.

And honestly we were having a great time. We both had jobs, fortunately, which were not much but they did pay taxes for now and it was overall a great experience. Friend or not, Dave is an excellent roommate, being pretty good at cooking and organising chores; the same could be said for me actually, though in some cases we have our own preferences; for example Dave prefers cooking (the fact that I’m bad at it it’s purely coincidental) so we agreed I’ll be the one doing the dishes.

We also had our buds crashing over what is now *our* place a couple of times, which resulted in more bad films and beer, or even nerd stuff such as gaming together. Of course however, the person who most often came over is obviously Dana, Dave’s girlfriend. She’s pretty cool though we don’t really hang out with her when Dave’s not around, though as I said she’s pretty easy-going.

Tonight we’ve been watching a trash movie. Yes, the three of us. Don’t worry, I was a welcome addition today. Dave would usually just tell me to leave for a few hours if sex was on the table (sometimes literally on the table, the one where we eat our food…) as we respect each others enough to just be straightforward whenever we needed some privacy. Tonight however it was just chilling like three friends hanging out together (knowing however that Dave would just give me a signal should things get more heated up you know).

We were in the living room. I was on an armchair, working on my laptop, despite the poor wi-fi. On the long wide couch beside me, Dave and Dana chilling and watching the movie with more attention than me, my bud’s left arm around his girlfriend, sometimes making remarks on how bad it was. We all had a can of beer, because of course we did.

The couple brought some takeouts for dinner, some fast-food a few blocks from here (Dana’s idea, actually, which we were both thankful for). Dave, chilling next to Dana, was wearing his signature casual outfit: a grey shirt and pair of dark blue loose jeans, details that my gay-ass eyes immediately noticed and more than once stared at.

“Oh wow the helicopter just blew up I’m speechless.” Dave said, sarcastically.

“A Subversive Masterpiece: that’s what they were going for when they wrote this.” Dana added, and they both chuckled.

I also did my fair share of sarcastic remarks though work got most of my attention, even though it was nothing urgent, just me trying to get some stuff done as fast as possible.

“Did the shark just wink at him?” my bro commented.

“They’re best friends now.” his girlfriend explained. What a great film.

After 15 more minutes the movie ended with the three of us clapping at a shot of a man and a shark exchanging a look of gratitude to each other, as the Sun set into the never-ending ocean. Drugs played a big role into the making of this move I’m 100% sure.

“Well, that was enlightening, but I gotta head back home. The Uber’s almost here.” Dana said, as she got up and reached for her purse and some other stuff.

“You’re really sure about that? Come on, stay here for the night.” Dave suggested. “I taught Tim to play dead. We can throw food at him.” he then joked.

“I can also bring you the newspaper upstairs, tomorrow morning.” I played along.

Dana chuckled in response. “I’m sure you’ll win the next contest you two, but I gotta wake up super early tomorrow.”

The couple walked towards the front door. The entrance was next to the living room, a few steps behind the couch. Dave and I sometimes darkly joked that any assassin could easily ambush us because whenever we’re on the couch anyone could sneak into the house behind us, with enough care (we then prefer to drink about it).

“Call me when you get home.” Dave said and the two shared a quick kiss.

In the meantime I moved on the bigger (and more comfortable) couch, more or less in Dana’s spot, as I also have better wi-fi reception there. I left my laptop on the small table in front of me because apparently all of my laptops have to be shitty and take some time to even the most basic stuff. As I inspected the wi-fi icon flashing on the screen, I heard Dave shutting the door and walking back to the couch. After a few steps his tall figure was already towering over me.

“Yeah the reception is pretty bad lately.” he commented, and then collapsed next to me.

Only a few seconds and he already had that well-known smirk drawn on his face; he then quickly adjusted his position. He completely laid down, extended his demin-clad legs, with his left one resting on the back of the couch, ending right behind my neck. In a moment, Dave ended up showing off his loose, almost-sagging jeans-clad ass directly next to me, as his legs trapped me into a gentle yet strong grip. Seeing both that “wall” made of jeans and my bro’s smirk at the same time was a sight I never truly got used to. He was just lying there, next to me, with his ass pointed at me, as if it was one big prank, even though he knew exactly how much I enjoyed that.

“Bro you’re ready?” he asked, still sporting that smirk.

When even Dave goes as far as asking me if I’m ready, then I knew that the fart was going to be gargantuan. And I realized why: Dana has been with us and my bro the entire day, so it’s possible that Dave just held all of his gas in for hours. We all experienced this, then when the girl leaves, men get to “relax”. Other than that, Dave had tons of beer and junk food. I stared at that denim butt, for the first time almost scared of what my bud was capable of; I knew a fart was coming, and I knew it was going to be big.

But what Dave said next really once again confirmed how chill he is around me.

“Believe me: you might want to get closer for this one.” he said, laughing a bit.

He sported weirdly reassuring smile, Dave’s millionth attempt at saying “It’s ok, Tim.” as he probably noticed now nervous I became when he assumed that pose.

The teasing bastard then went full bully on me and simply reached for my head with his long right arm and gently pulled me down, as if I was bowing to that still silent denim-clad ass. I just heard him laugh like an idiot, as it usually happens. Despite my head being down and in front of that ass, I could still see Dave’s face and that smirk. He raised his eyebrows and half-closed his eyes as he started pushing, but he didn’t need to put all that effort into ripping that blast.

It’s like the fart was barely contained in the first place: it immediately exploded with a loud sound right into my face. Dave closed his eyes and kept his smirk as the blast probably surprised him as well. It was low-pitched and dry, a completely natural gas-eruption that sounded like an engine. The stench was unbearable, a mixture of beer and junk food, surprise to no one.

While farting, Dave adjusted his position as bit, spreading his legs bit more, with my face getting almost planted into that denim-clad butt as he effortlessly kept ripping that immense flatulence. Hours and hours of gas being erupted as if I was in front of a dormant volcano that just woke up. And I feared that “hours” was what he was going for ‘cause after 20 seconds the fart didn’t even lose power.

Dave still had this smirk drawn on his face and occasionally stared down at me as he completely destroyed my face and nose with his incredible farting skills, skills that constantly let me speechless, fetish or not. He was the fart master, a showoff with a manly talent that I could only bow to and endure in the hop-

“Sorry, I forgot my house keys.”

The fart immediately stopped and it all went silent: It was Dana.

Dave turned his head to his girlfriend, greeting her with the stupidest smile you can think of.

“Oh stay there no worries, they’re right here.” I heard Dana say as she reached for keys, probably hanging right next to the door, my face still almost planted in my friend’s denim ass. That felt surreal.

I completely froze (not that I could move) but I knew that she couldn’t see me (just like I couldn’t see her) as I was lying down. All she could see from where she was standing was Dave’s head and his right leg resting on the back of the couch, since the entrance was behind our couch.

I was terrified, while Dave was doing his best not laugh like an idiot.

“What’s so funny?” Dana asked, laughing a bit herself, definitely noticing her boyfriend being weird.

My teasing bro quickly glanced down at me, almost losing it (and still holding holding the fart in, which didn’t stop the smell from burning my nostrils).

“N-nothing’” he stuttered. That’s it, he was gonna laugh like an idiot.

“Okay” I heard Dana, not really convinced of the boyfriend’s answer though.

There was a moment of awkward silence and then we heard a car honk, thank goodness.

“Oh… it’s my Uber. Bye!” the girl said, quickly leaving the house and shutting the door behind her.

Another moment of silence followed, Dave still staring at the entrance. I was shaking, I was legitimately scared that someone was gonna find out, which was weird given the hotness I was experiencing in that moment, even without the fart being ripped.

“Ok… where were we?” Dave asked, turning back to me, with a smirk. “Oh yeah!”

And he effortlessly resumed farting, just as loud, proud and powerful as it was before the interruption, directly into my face. The terror I experienced moments before was blown away by that incredibly blast and me being rock-hard, as it usually happens when Dave showoffs his gassy talent around me, or on me.

Dozens of seconds passed and at this point Dave just played along. He nodded at me, faking a serious expression, as if he was listening to something actually interesting instead of his own loud fart still going on strong; after about ten more seconds he checked the time on his wrist-watch and acted surprised, then stared down at me as if he wanted to say “damn that is long!”. We both however actually lost the track of time and he simply relaxed as if I wasn’t even in front of his ass, all while the fart was still being blasted in my face.

Dave then reached for my head again and gently pushed it inches closer to his roaring ass, and I felt the vibrations of his rip all over my face: it was literally an earthquake.

How long was it lasting? More than 1 minute perhaps? How much gas can a man hold in? Dave certainly was pushing for a record. All I knew is that I felt privileged witnessing that, even though I was beyond being a mere witness since no particle of gas missed my eyes and nostrils.

However (finally, actually), the fart seemingly started to lose power, the once-continuous sound starting to “stutter” and turning more into a fast series of loud farts, fired back-to-back. The show (because that’s what it was: a show) ended with a loud, 5 seconds blast, and Dave’s laughter.

I slowly got up, sweaty, my nose burning, with a startled look to which my bro reacted with another immature cackle. I was now sitting next to him as I was before, and looked back at my bud, who in the meantime re-adjusted his pose. He was still lying down, still kind of showing off his loose-sagging ass, but in a less “menacing” way: now he was just chilling.

“When’s Dana coming over again?” I joked. I mustered all the courage I had left to say that. I was impressed by the fact that I could still speak considering that all of my blood probably flooded my boner at that point.

Dave laughed at that lame joke, thank goodness. “As if I need Dana to blast you like this.”

He raised one leg, again showing off his sagging denim ass in my direction. He quickly sucked some air in and after a few moments and weird noises a loud 6 seconds fart erupted. For his standards, that’s basically a weak one.

My friend just casually joking and bragging about facefarting me and then farting on command to prove it made me lose it, as I felt my boner… dampening. He didn’t notice it but he knew that I had a hard-on, that’s for sure.

I didn’t want to just rush into the bathroom so I just stared at my laptop, still on the table, in front of me: the wi-fi signal was stronger than ever. I jokingly like to think that Dave’s blast was so powerful it actually influenced the signal somehow and improved it.

I turned to my bud, still lying on his side of the couch, just checking his phone and being… casually hot.

“Thanks man.” I said, not for the wi-fi though.

He lowered his phone, revealing a blank reaction “Really?” he said, rolling his eyes, with a bored expression. “Stop being cringe and do the dishes.”

Fuck, I totally forgot about those. We had takeout food but we still used some of our dishes. I immediately got up and rushed to the kitchen, hoping that Dave was distracted by his phone enough to not notice by boner through my sweatpants.

Once in the kitchen, a place that wasn’t tainted by Dave’s gas, my nostrils could still feel my bro’s fart-stench. That’s how soaked up in his gas I was. Even my ears needed some time to adjust to the silence, now that I didn’t have a deafening fart being ripped right into my skull. 

And I just knew that this wasn’t the last time this was gonna happen. I’m Dave’s roommate, and being roomies means we have to divide our tasks: he’s the farter, I’m the sniffer.

End of Episode 13

[ghost0loxer]

Imagine, a gender fluid teenager like myself has a favourite/feel-good film and that film is “Just One of the Guys,”from the mid 80s.

Picture this: theatre class, we watch “She’s The Man”, a dreamworks film from the 2000s. And yet, the social justice issues within the film are glaringly obvious to today’s society. Don’t get me wrong, it can be a funny film in a group setting - but then there are scenes that are just uncomfortable. Now, we discussed these themes in class, but I just can’t help but think about the film that came before it. Yes, StM (she’s the mans) is a modern day adaption of Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night” but I was thinking about the modern day adaption before StM, “Just One of the Guys” from the mid 80s.

I love this film. For multiple reasons, which I hope to discuss.

Number one, our main character. Terry Griffith is stubborn. If she thinks something is right, she won’t let anyone say no or get in her way. Now in some cases, this is great. It’s definitely a shift in the usual romantic comedy female lead (especially for the 80s). But it’s one of her biggest flaws. In the beginning, Terry doesn’t win a contest for a part-time job at the Sun Tribune. She believes her article was amazing, but she speaks with her English teacher and he gives it to her straight. “You don’t have what it takes to be a reporter.” Her article is boring; it’s about the nutritional value of the lunch menu in the school cafeteria, of course it’s boring. But the words her teacher tells her has her convinced it’s because she’s a woman. Thus, she leaves school for two weeks and transfers as a buy to another school who are holding the same competition. Once she gives her article, she is told almost the same thing, but this time, she’s given proper feedback to improve it. Of course, there was some irony with this scene between Terry and the teacher. “Just because you’re guy, doesn’t mean you can’t be sensitive or light.” Thing is, she doesn’t give up, she strives to fix it and finds a new angle. I love her determination, I love the way she doesn’t let others push her around. Furthermore, her transition to a man. In StM, Viola as a guy is made to be cringey and comedic, you watch and think, there’s no way a guy would do that. But Terry, having grown up with a younger brother and is actually smart, manages to nail the role. Sure, she has slip-ups, but she stays afloat and she’s not being over the top. She’s chill and convincing, yet you as the audience can tell she’s trying to appear masculine. Her lines are witty and she’s sharp. Someone has something to say, she’ll be able to backtrack and answer with a joke or sarcasm quickly. I like smart characters.

Another point, the way women are written in this film. A lot of women in this film are treated like shit, but it’s probably a realistic depiction of the 80s. Everyone is talking about dating and sex, it seems to be the only topic the women in this film speak about, unless they are Terry. Terry seems to be the only character in this film whose main goal is not romance or sex. She strives to be a reporter, she wants to prove herself, and she rejects the advances upon her frequently. Whether it’s the boys asking her on dates in halls, or her own boyfriend attempting to seduce her when her parents aren’t home, she doesn’t put them above herself, yet she still lets them down easily, unless they become more pushy (case in point, her boyfriend, Kevin, in the beginning). She can stand up for herself, but she’s not the only one. Her best friend, Denise is one of the many women looking for love, nevertheless, she holds standards. I will admit, I didn’t like Denise’s acting in the beginning; she’s not a great character, but even she manages to reject men’s advances constantly. She’s not afraid to say it bluntly and she expresses her true emotions when certain guys try to ask her out. She tells it to them straight, and I respect her for that (despite her lack of empathy for some). Terry’s brother is constantly hitting on Denise, but she stands her ground. She doesn’t hit him or curse him out, she spins words around him and always lead back to the key word “no.”

This is my third, and maybe final point, (because I’m not great at writing but I’m starting to get tired) the way they handle sexual orientation. It seems if you’re going to make a film about a cross-dressing woman who falls in love with a man, you have to discuss sexuality and this film is not afraid to. That was my biggest beef with StM, when Viola confessed her love to Duke, the made it blatantly clear that it was “weird” and “unusual”; the editing and music cuts. It was done for comedic purposes, but in that moment, it just made me cringe. Even when the principal marched onto the field during the big match to expose Sebastian as “the woman he was all along,” he used a big megaphone and said to the whole crowd this man is in fact a girl. If it were to happen in the real world, and this character was a trans male, that would be traumatizing and so so insensitive. I couldn’t help thinking the way they handled the reveal in StM was poor and shitty.

But with JOotG (just one of the guys)? It’s done respectfully. Throughout the film, Buddy, Terry’s younger, sex-obsessed brother (I have thoughts on this character), often refers to Terry as a transvestite or sexually confused. They make references about her dating other women and jokes. It’s not treated like taboo, but just something people normally talk about, and as a questioning kid when I first watched the film, I really needed that. Although it was used for jokes, the fact that it wasn’t treated like a silent topic made me think more of it and discover who I was; it was media like this that made me accept myself.

Even with the reveal. Kevin, Terry’s boyfriend (or ex boyfriend by the end), stomps up to Terry after she’s wrestled with the school bully and was dumped into the waves at prom. Rick, who’s been Terry’s friend (and is the male lead) throughout her time at his high school, immediately questions who Kevin is and he responds with a harsh and sure “Terry’s boyfriend.” Of course, that doesn’t expose Terry as female, but makes Rick assume she’s a homosexual. But instead of calling her weird or replying negatively, he answers Kevin’s question calmly and says he’s just a friend. There is no prejudice, no disgust, Rick is shocked, but that’s expected. Furthermore, this reveal not only does not alienate homosexuality, it puts the center of focus on the main characters rather than have the whole audience/prom witness this exchange. Sure, the rest of the school is watching but the camera never pans over to them, and even then, Terry drags Rick away from the crowds to a secluded area to explain more.

Even once they’re secluded, Rick doesn’t yell at her or is homophobic. He just says “I understand, you’re gay.” As we know, Terry is not in fact gay and she reveals this to him in a similar fashion as StM, at least it’s not flashing a whole crowd. But the thing that hits me, is the fact that it’s not used as a joke or for comedy. Throughout the film, they’ve mentioned homosexuality and being transgender, but it was used as a light-hearted joke (nothing insulting or derogatory). In this moment, it’s not a joke, and it’s the bare minimum for a emotional scene like this, but it always hits me.

Of course, Rick gets justifiably mad that he’s been deceived and he storms off. Terry’s flaw catches up to her here, as she kisses him in front of the prom guests, stubborn to make him realize how much she cares. ( I didn’t agree with this action to be frank, I cringed ). The crowd gasps and it’s the usual reaction to a homosexual kiss and Rick just pulls back, says “It’s alright everyone, he’s got tits,” and leaves with Deborah.

In true romantic comedy fashion, life moves on. Terry gets the job at the Sun-Tribune after writing her article about posing as a guy and everyone who was longing for love in the beginning has found it, except Terry. The ending, however, is Rick coming back for her after a couple (days? Weeks? Idk all I know is it’s summer by the time he comes back, how much space between prom and summer?) and they kiss, go on a date and all is good.

Now after writing this long ass post, I’ve come to realize the main reason I like this film. Sure, Terry is a good character (not morally sometimes, but she’s interesting to watch), the way women are presented also is good, but my main source of affection for this film (in comparison to StM) is the way they handle the switching of genders. I’m gender fluid, I don’t always like being a woman or a man, I switch almost daily and half the time can’t decide if I want to grow out my hair or cut it. Seeing Terry, originally a woman, manage to convince people she was a guy made me wish I could do it too. It made me realize, I don’t always like being a woman. I want to be a guy sometimes, and I want that to be accepted. It was media like this, like Ouran High School Host Club, like Bare: A Pop Opera, that made me understand my gender and sexuality. (Even media that didn’t have any relation to LGBTQ+ helped).

When I first heard of “She’s the Man”, I had hoped it would be like these pieces of media. And it wasn’t. It was an alright film, but made me feel disappointed and somewhat let down. And that’s why I just prefer Just One of the Guys. Maybe it wouldn’t float in today’s political climate, maybe I’m wrong for seeing these points as reasons it’s one of my favorites, but its still better than StM and is one of my favourite films.

[lokismusings]

Russell T Davies on straight actors and gay characters.

I decided to put this here because I post a lot of Hilson stuff. As an actor, this article hit a nerve. However, as a defender of free speech, Davies is allowed to have his opinion without me thinking of him as insensitive. Just like I am allowed to have my own opinion and argument, and ask questions without being labeled “homophobic, intolerant” etc. (that would just make me laugh because have you SEEN my blog? Anyway, I’ve seen a few other websites covering this article. I am also very skeptical of everything I read, including the sources, and I try not to blindly believe everything. That being said, I felt like posting this to get other opinions and ask honest question to help my understanding. If this has already been covered on Tumblr, please feel free to send me the conversations! Some background on me: I graduated with a BA in Theatre and have worked both on and off the stage since I was twelve years old. I have directed plays and an audio play. Given my experience and dedication to my craft, I think my opinion is worth something.

Also, for the sake of this argument, I am leaving trans-actors out because that’s a whole different post. Here is the article:

https://news.sky.com/story/russell-t-davies-straight-actors-should-not-play-gay-characters-12185652

Okay, so first things first, let’s talk about this: “Speaking to the Radio Times, Davies compared a straight actor playing a gay character to black face.” Something that irks me is when one person tries to speak for a whole community and doesn’t reference people from said community who might disagree: whether it’s the LGBTQ+ community, a religious community, medical community, etc. The list goes on. Here, Davies is speaking on behalf of, or speaking for, both the LGBTQ+ community and the black community, is he not? I am genuinely asking because I would like to be more educated on this kind of speech. 

Then Davies says, "I'm not being woke about this... but I feel strongly that if I cast someone in a story, I am casting them to act as a lover, or an enemy, or someone on drugs or a criminal or a saint... they are NOT there to 'act gay' because 'acting gay' is a bunch of codes for a performance.” Does that not discredit his whole statement? If any actor does a caricature version of anything and doesn’t take it seriously or really works to get into the role and the mindset of a character, they’re not a good actor. At least, they’re not an actor that I’d want to hire. Second, by the logic that a straight person shouldn’t play a gay character, should someone without a criminal record not be able to play a criminal character? Before you go off and say “it’s about identity and sexuality, and playing a criminal is about the choice to break the law” or other arguments, I hear you. I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about the experience. How can an actor who has never committed a crime play a criminal character authentically? They do their research: reading, interviewing, etc. I’m not saying that an actor with a few minor marks on his record shouldn’t be considered for the same role. I’m saying that in an audition setting, if both of these actors were auditing for the role and the non-criminal-record actor just happened to do a better job and fit what the director and/or writer wanted, is that a mark against the criminal-record-actor? Maybe personally because we don’t know what the director is thinking. But chances are, it’s not a mark against the other actor. The other one just happened to have a better audition. Or, a major factor when considering casting, said actor was easy to work with--I’ve seen a lot of talented actors lose a lot of roles because of their inability to take criticism or notes. 

Plus, the whole “Breaking Bad” series?? I highly doubt the main actors were meth-making drug-lords. Or, a better example, “The Wire?” In that show, we see the constant battle and deals between drug-lords and cops. 

Another point I’d like to make:  “...is a bunch of codes for a performance.” That’s exactly right. The audience doesn’t want to know an actor is “performing.” We know that going in, with what is called “suspension of disbelief.” We know the whole show is a performance, but we also expect the actors to be truthful (unless it’s a comedy/farce, but again, that’s a different argument). 

Was it bad that, before 2020, some main characters in TV shows were portrayed as straight but the writers ended up “queer-baiting?” I am referring, of course, to House, M.D. (If you follow this blog, you’ll understand.) But I am also referring to the BBC Sherlock Holmes series. Yes, both pairs of characters (House and Wilson; Holmes and Watson) are assumed to be straight. However, some episodes allude that there could also be something more there. Even the actors have said in various interviews that they aren’t sure if it’s a true romance that the characters are afraid to face, or just a strong bond between best friends that blurs the line between platonic and romantic. I’m paraphrasing, but you get the picture. Therefore, should these characters have only been played by straight actors who are questioning their sexuality or feelings for a best friend? Would it have been disrespectful to gay people if these characters ended up becoming romantically involved? (If we ask the Hilson and Johnlock community, I’m guessing that’s a resounding “NO WAY! IT WOULD BE A DREAM COME TRUE!” xD <3) 

“It's about authenticity, the taste of 2020.” *Cinema Sins sigh*

"You wouldn't cast someone able-bodied and put them in a wheelchair...” Again I say, directors and casting directors need to ALWAYS search for someone who is in a wheelchair, or deaf, or HOH, etc. before looking for an able-bodied actor to play a character with that disability (I’m iffy on the whole term “disability because of its negative connotations, but I’m using that word in order to keep this post as long as possible). But I give you the example of Rainman with Dustin Hoffman. Or A Beautiful Mind with Russell Crowe. Or the play and movie Proof, where the father had a mental illness?  Anthony Hopkins was diagnosed late in life with Asperger’s Syndrome, but the father in Proof was written to allude more to schizophrenia. And yet, Anthony Hopkins did a tremendous job in that role. Or Even Forrest Gump with Tom Hanks. Many people today love Tom Hanks and laud him as a “woke” celebrity. But if he were to portray the role of Forrest Gump today, how many people would try to “cancel” him or at least have very strong words for the director not casting an actor with autism, due to the character’s autistic tendencies? A whole lot of people on the internet and Twitter, I’ll bet. As someone who struggles with anxiety and panic disorder, would I be upset if someone without that mental illness got cast in a role of a character struggling with that? Sure I would. But if they did an authentic job and approached the role respectfully, it would be hard to stay irritated. Besides, there are always more roles created practically everyday. 

To continue on with Davies’ quote: “...you wouldn't black someone up.” Yikes. I’m sure he didn’t mean this in a cast-off kind of way, but that’s how it comes across. I can see now why he said he wasn’t “being woke about this,” because a more “woke” way of putting that would be...what, exactly? “You wouldn’t cast a non-black person in a black role.” That sounds better and less harsh. Or even “a white person in a minority role.” Which should be common sense, and I agree with both statements. 

And then “Authenticity is leading us to joyous places." Oh! Look at that! There’s that word that I’ve been using and emphasizing throughout this whole post! Authenticity is one major brick in the foundation of good, credible acting. 

“High-profile examples of straight performers playing LGBTQ+ characters include Rami Malek's Oscar-winning portrayal of Freddie Mercury in Bohemian Rhapsody, and Taron Egerton's Golden Globe-winning turn as Sir Elton John in Rocketman.”

I haven’t seen Rocketman, but I saw Bohemian Rhapsody and it was great! Why am I high-lighting this movie? Because it’s the perfect example of a straight actor playing a gay character and playing it authentically, while also looking a lot like the real person they’re portraying. If a look-a-like had been cast who also happened to be gay, but couldn’t act to save their life or couldn’t bring as much as Rami brought to the role, wouldn’t that kind of put a damper on the film? And yet, Rami Maleck both looked the part and brought an authenticity to the role that many Queen fans loved and appreciated. Even the remaining Queen band members said that he did an incredible job and Freddy would be proud. I wonder if Freddy would care that Rami wasn’t gay? I doubt it, but no one can know for certain. 

Then there’s the whole term “gay face.” I personally don’t think this is the right term to use because it could possibly diminish the whole meaning and importance of “black face.” Even if Corden appeared to be mocking gay people (I never watched The Prom so I have no idea what his performance was like), calling it “gay face” takes away from and inadvertently belittles the whole dark history of “black face.” Black face’s whole history comes out of an even darker history of racist times filled with hatred and ignorance. I’m not saying that gay people haven’t had their own experiences with hate and intolerance, but isn’t kind of “un-woke” and “insensitive” to compare the hundreds of years of blatant, public racism against an entire race of people to the intolerance of homosexuals? (Again, I’m asking this genuinely because I want to learn and get other people’s opinions. I’m not trying to speak for any community, and I recognize that my personal opinion on this matter is just that: my opinion. And I could be better informed.)

Along the lines of the above paragraph, is it wrong to say or think that casting a non-minority actor in a minority role is a lot different from casting a straight actor in a gay role? Sexuality comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors; that is to say, every race has people with different sexualities. But I think it would be pretty cringe if a Caucasian actress was cast in a role meant for an Asian or African-American woman. 

Director Joe Mantello told Sky News the casting was not intentional, but rather a "very fortunate series of events".

He continued: "That being said, I think having an out gay cast really did inform the work and it took on a particular kind of tone because of that, which is not to say that's the only way to approach this material. But for this particular group, it did something that I think is very, very special. There's a chemistry that they have."

And this man summed up my entire argument! He also put into simpler terms what I have been trying to express about the beauty of theatre: there will always be special casts, especially when there’s a great chemistry from a shared experience. A "very fortunate series of events,” indeed. “The casting was not intentional...” leads me to believe that the director didn’t set out to have an all out-gay-cast, but rather, each actor brought great performances to their auditions and were considered by the director to be perfect for the roles. These actors also just happened to be gay.

If you’re still here after all of that, let me take a moment to sincerely thank you for reading the whole thing! I know it’s a lot, but I’m very passionate about acting and giving each and every actor a fair chance. Let me know what you think, and please be respectful!

[kaypeace21]

do you think it’s possible sarah (hoppers daughter) was an early-formed alter that went dormant before the events of season one? it’d make a lot of sense with how much of hoppers arc in season one was him mourning her and channeling that grief into protecting will (which would make sense since he seems like a protecter to both will and el). love your posts!☺️

Yep . :D

I already discussed all of this in the original did post - how sarah was a “little” (kid ) alter. And how hopper was a protector /introject alter. I also discussed her going dormant as a major possibility in my did theory. My assumption is she either (a) “became dormant” like some alters do- aka they are “gone” sometimes for many years but can return . And this can happen in a myriad of ways - sometimes alters go dormant after they had a simulated death in the inner world . theoretically sarah had such a Death. And so did El. Death isn’t really a permanent thing for alters ...they usually will come back or stay dormant - unless the body of the host dies (or they integrate) . They can’t really die . I think it’s very possible she comes back and Hopper while exploring the various innerworlds of Will’s minds (like the Russian one, the memory scapes , etc ) reunites/ finds her . look at the st s4 movie inspirations. In ‘what dreams may come”  a guy with the guidance of his dead kid explore a heaven like world influenced by a painter’s emotions.We also have the movie ‘inside out’ -which involves “memory islands” (distinct worlds based on a child’s memories) which are influenced negatively by the kid being depressed she moved to California. The characters traveling to these memory islands are constructs of  kid’s mind -and 1 of them also has a guide helping them explore the ‘memory islands’. in  Inception a guy says he’s a construct of a guy’s mind and needs to help him escape the many different Ievels of the dream worlds.The in inception who made the worlds- had dad issues. 'the cell’also had alternate dimensions of a man's mind that a cop explored ( the dimensions were created by a man who was ab*sed by his dad). Movies like inception, matrix, Truman show, total recall, the cell, enter the void, wizard of oz, Peter Pan, hellraiser 2, dream warriors, bill & ted’s bogus journey, and welcome to marwen  also allude to this: because they involve entering simulated abstract worlds usually created/based on happy& traumatic memories/fears.Cough s4 using the movie wizard of oz quote “we’re not in Hawkins (kansas) anymore.While truman show/matrix are more about realizing your reality isn’t real.in bladerunner 2044/total recall it has the theme of false implanted memories… probably relating to hopper realizing he’s an alter and not in “actual Russia.” Before seeing the other segments of the innerworlds with sarah. Like in total recall- the bad ass spy is told all his memories: his wife/ years of marriage,  , his name, are just implanted memories. And she says “you’re life is a dream.” 

In s2 Nancy asks Steve how his “grandpa’s time in the war is a metaphor for your life?” And steve compares the mf to the germans in the war. Dr owens mentions Will has ptsd like “ (vietnam) soldiers’, Hopper saying he had buddies like Will . “In the 70s there was a study that compared the post-traumatic stress symptoms in Vietnam veterans and adult survivors of childhood s**ual ab*se. The study revealed that childhood s**ual ab*se is traumatizing and can result in symptoms comparable to symptoms from war-related trauma.” Hopper isn’t actually in Russia -but in one of the innerworlds (after he jumped through the rift of the machine- into Will’s mind). We’ll see flashbacks but also present circumstances of his imprisonment echo Will’s past with Lonnie (if the movies indicate anything)- being starved, guards getting payed in order to let other prisoners  r*pe a gay prisoner (than claim incorrectly because of his sexuality he wanted it) , as well as a gang of sadist men who r**e others and a warden using that as a threat to be compliant , being thrown in a dark room of solitary confinement and starved when they didn’t obey the warden, the warden being religious, etc. And the Anerican soldiers (in Vietnam) in the movies aren’t much better and do similarly horrific acts to civilians like r**e and bragging/ happily k*lling women, children, and the elderly. The drill sergant in vietnam calling them homophobic slurs & women, and chocking one of the soldiers with one hand, slapping one for not believing in christianity. Tying up a soldier in a bed , gagging him, beating him and saying “remember it’s just a dream.” Only praising them when good in fire arms.(movies : fullmetal jacket, papillon, shawshank redemption, platoon, welcome to marwen, etc ) . My assumption is  flashbacks of his life- will hint he’s an alter of Will’s-the boxes in the basement are “vietnam” ,“dad”, and “ny” (and these are the memories of his we’ll see). And some of the bad characters in said stories will also parallel Lonnie . For instance in s2, Jonathan mentions Indiana writer Vonnegut- In his book ‘slaughterhouse 5′- Vonnegut begins the story of Billy Pilgrim, a man who has “come unstuck in time”. It accounts of Billy Pilgrim's capture and incarceration by the Germans during the last years of World War II, and scattered throughout the narrative are episodes from Billy's life with his dad, and his own wife and kids.Billy is forced to be part of the war and similar things against his free will. The moments start from his childhood when his father throws him in the water to teach him how to swim. He was unwillingly drafted into the war. Later, he is kidnapped by Tralfamadorians  (aliens that are implied to be caused by his mental health issues/trauma) against his will. Therefore, he realizes that this concept is just an illusion.

  And some of the bad characters in said stories will also parallel Lonnie . Like how in ‘peterpan’- the young girl Wendy imagines netherland and the villain -captain hook- is based off her father ( in the movie they have the same voice actors/while in all stage productions the 2 characters are always played by the same actor). Similar to the other s4 film- ‘wizard of oz’ where the wicked witch of th west from the mythical land of Oz (is played by Dorothy’s real life mean neighbor in the real world/kansas). Or ‘in the cell’- every villain from the alternate-mind- dimensions is played by same actor in diff makeup. Not sure if they’d use Ross Patridge (actor of Lonnie) in this way . But it would be very interesting if (In makeup) Ross played many negative people in Hopper’s life/past -as a way to show Will’s past tr*uma.

Like also-look at Sarah’s tiger plushie! In chinese mythology/culture: “The tiger is personified by the constellation Orion (interesting given Sara’s interest in space/blackholes). The tiger represents protection over human life (hmm?). Tiger charms were used to keep away evil and disease (that’s awful ironic if she died in the manner she did). In Buddhism, wearing tiger skins during meditations was believed to bring protection from spiritual interference and potential harm while exploring astral dimensions.” HMMMMMMMMM  XD

Kali in the stranger things novel ‘Suspicious Minds’ says…

“I was named after a goddess. She wore a tiger skin and was fierce in battle.”

Then Kali says to Alice (a women who can see future visions): “I love you, Alice. We can be tigers together.”This parallel (in relation to Alice) is fascinating because Kali actually uses her powers to fake Alice’s death- and to trick Dr. Brenner, and allow Alice to escape. The allusion was so realistic, that Terry could even touch the ‘dead’ Alice.

So the tiger symbolism could be a HUGE hint- that Sarah’s death was simulated and she’ll come back and travel the innerworlds/alternate dimensions of Will’s mind (as Hopper’s guide). Hopper about sarah “galaxies the universe-she always understood that stuff.”

Another possibility (theory b) is she integrated with another alter or with Will (which means she can’t return) .Hopper saying about Sarah “the black hole it got her.” Could imply she integrated with the mf/shadow monster? And ,or maybe she will later ?

But... I lean heavily to theory (a) the most , though.

Obviously sarah has a lot of the connections to Will. will and Sarah both being into science, Sarah winning a spelling bee, Will winning the science fair, both being connected to tigers. Both hallucinating something no one else can see and people trying to snap the 2 out of what they’re viewing. Joyce saying as a witch she’ll eat Will. Parallels Hopper saying as an ogre he’ll eat sarah. Hopper, in s1, when seeing Will (with a vine in his mouth) has a flashback of Sarah on a mouth respirator. And he also has a flashback of Sarah when seeing Will’s lion plushie which resembled Sarah’s tiger plushie. And el also had a lion plushie-like Will’s in s1. Hopper monitored both Will and Sarah at the hospital when they were “dying”. Will has a fear of clowns- and Sarah’s hospital gown had clowns on them. All 3 kids draw.

Plus, we all know the parallels of Will to El (Hopper’s new daughter).

I discussed in my did theory that Hopper (as an adult alter) is a form of protector to all the kid alters - el, Sarah, and Will (host/core). And Hopper as an introject-alter (who are alters based on a person the child knows ) are usually put in the system cause the kid assumes that person could protect them . And since original-Hopper was a police man (a little kid could easily assume that). Although, because he’s a “father figure” for the system he has some of Lonnie’s traits- which are reflected in other perpetrator alters/ bad npcs in the system- Brenner, Neil, Billy, the evil’s Russians,etc . So sometimes he acts similar to a Perpetrator alter too . And I listed those examples/bad parallels extensively in the original did post (linked in the beginning).

And I used these quotes from psych papers in my original did post to pretty much sum up Hopper’s use in Will’s system .

“Introjects can also be based off of  figures that the dissociative child found strong, courageous, heroic, or otherwise worthy of being emulated and internalized and could theoretically protect them.”

“Older adult alters are created to serve a nurturing or parenting role, thus serving as a protector. (*protecting Will/el) . However, sometimes their older age is related to taking on the identification of the ab*ser and can therefore take on any of the other more hostile roles too ... Introjects which are mimicking ab*sers are trying to "keep you inline" in order to protect you from external ab*sers. They are copying behaviors shown to them by bad people, not harboring the intent, s*dism or imm*rality of the actual perpetrators.”

I think it pretty much sums up the nuances and motivations of Hopper’s character.

Thanks for the ask, anon :)

[mhaccunoval]

dude, could you give me movie recommendations then??

mainly i said i should stop giving recommendations because my movie tastes and opinions are Wack sbshjsbjhsbs but i will make an exception <3

i mostly just scoured my letterboxd (@/eroscalling ;] ) for movies i’ve really liked in the past year or two so sorry if you’ve seen some sbshjsbsh a lot of brain worms here sbsjhbshs

❥ freaked (1993)

it was inevitable that something alex winter and/or keanu reeves would show up on here but HERE ME OUT !!! you may think to yourself in the first ten minutes that ‘WOW this is terrible’ and you’d be right because the comedy IS awful except. it’s SO awful you have to laugh. and THEN it gets better from there, i swear. there’s the dichotomy within ricky over being himself AND a monster, some found family, and a happy (yet still hilarious) ending to it all. it’s quite insanity inducing 

[actual description: child star ricky coogan is interviewed on the story of him flying out to a small country in south america to help promote a fertilizer that’s been banned in the US, only to end up at a desolate freak show with his two companions (one new, one old) and have to find a means of escape after a mad scientist has turned them into attractions themselves]

———

❥ private romeo (2011)

another one i’ve been kinda back on my bullshit about sbshjsbsh but it’s SO good !!! i’m sure there are other gay romeo & juliet adaptations out there but this one is just. amazing and sets itself apart from all of the others. seth numrich and matt doyle’s acting and chemistry? IMMACULATE !!! pretty early on the dialogue switches from modern speech to recitation of lines from the play but everyone’s body language and interpersonal relationships with one another really SELL the plot and help you understand it, even if the words are a bit difficult for the average person to comprehend (also it was the film yassen and i got together because of so sbshjbshs)

[actual description: one weekend, the higher ranking officers and a few top qualified students at a military academy go on a training retreat, leaving a decent sized group of students at the academy unsupervised and with their copies of romeo & juliet they’re beginning to read in their english/literature class; as the weekend progresses, two students, sam and glenn, begin to realize that their feelings for each other have bloomed and progressed, causing them to do their best to stay together]

———

❥ the personal history of david copperfield (2019)

I JUST THINK THIS MOVIE (and dev patel) IS NEAT !!! i have no basis on how it compares to other adaptations or the book but i reallyyyy like this one as it is !!!  i think the dynamic transitions in the timeline and the coloring work REALLY well in moving the plot forward and making every character, or at least every event in david’s life, very unique and stand out from each other. and i LOVE the cast... love the inclusion of at least a Few actors of color and just the way everyone plays off each other... it’s just so wholesome and the adventure really grips you every second

[actual description: following the publishing of his book, autobiographer david copperfield reads it aloud in front of a theatre audience, detailing the shenanigans and relationships he’s grown up with and how they’ve affected, creating the person that he is today]

——— 

❥ billy elliot (2000)

everyone say thank you to young jamie bell for your rights. yeah no this movie is SO heart-clenching AND heartfelt... at first you’re just like ‘yeah, you know, this is alright’ but then it punches you in the feels... just... billy’s journey to find something he’s passionate about and actively pursuing that passion... his relationship with michael and his family... the general atmosphere created by the hardships at the time and how they reflect on the elliotts’ home life... the only reason i haven’t gotten around to rewatching it is because i know it will make me SOB...

[actual description: young billy elliott is the son of a miner in northern england during the mid 80s, dealing with how the miners’ strikes his father and brother are partaking in are affecting their financial situation while simultaneously coming to terms with a small interest in ballet and trying to chase that interest, in spite of what his father and society have to say about it]

———

❥ the half of it (2020)

yes another gay film and another coming of age film <3 what of it <3 it’s so good and unconvential though... it’s not your typical nerdy girl and jock get together at ALL— spoiler: it’s no where close to even being a plot point. paul and ellie’s friendship is !!! so beautiful though !!! there’s so much trust and platonic love there !!! and also !!! a chinese MC which, as we all know, is very rare in hollywood, especially under uh ellie’s ‘circumstances’... it’s yet another heart-clencher and is just very feel good...

[actual description: realizing he has a crush on one of the most popular girls in school, young paul turns to the girl in his grade who everyone pays to write their essays for them, as he’s not the most eloquent writer himself, and asks if she’ll help him write his crush love letters to win her affection; ellie is at first reluctant, but eventually realizes the money could help keep her and her father afloat, finding some feelings of her own along the way]

———

❥ the farewell (2019)

i was going to stop at five but i couldn’t decide between this or the half of it so you get both !!! the farewell is soooo sweet and tear-jerking... you get a real sense of the main family’s bond and love for each other, as well as a bit of a culture shock if, like me, you’re a westerner who doesn’t know the full extent of the intricacies of chinese families and the culture in general. every character is unique and dynamic, each having wonderful portrayals of their individual flaws and reactions to every step of the journey that they’re going through. not to mention, i would assume a lot of first gen / children of immigrants can really relate to billi’s experience of basically having two halves of herself, the american side and the chinese side, and the struggles that come from being thrown into that situation... it’s just... Perfect

[actual description: billi is a young woman in her 20s who is having trouble managing her life, only to have to put it on hold when her parents reluctantly tell her that her grandmother has been diagnosed with lung cancer and that the family is going to come together in case this is their last opportunity to; the twist is that they all must keep it a secret from the grandmother that she is even sick, which is a secret billi has a hard time keeping]

[marvella15]

Astaire & Rogers Rewatch Part 8: Carefree

• Ah Carefree. Another film with a lot of weird, extraneous crap in it that detracts from what we’re all actually here for: Astaire and Rogers together and dancing. 

• Surprisingly, this odd movie has a song and dance I especially like, “Change Partners.” It also has the first on-screen romantic kiss between Astaire and Rogers. But we’ll get to that. 

• Our character/actors: Dr. Tony Flagg (Fred Astaire), Amanda (Ginger Rogers), Stephen (Ralph Bellamy), Cora (Luella Gear)

• I’m not up on Ralph Bellamy’s filmography but in every movie I’ve ever seen him in, he’s the guy who loses the girl to the bigger male star. 

• Now I’m no expert but it seems like if your fiancé breaks off your engagement three times, there might be some actual issues in your relationship. And I don’t think those issues boil down to just “the girl I like won’t marry me.”

• For the first time in one of these films, Astaire’s character isn’t a dancer or musician by profession. He’s a psychiatrist… who used to be a dancer. Gotta have some reason why he’s so dang elegant and talented. 

Not a fan of his notes on a patient that indicate she’s a “typical pampered female” who doesn’t need a doctor but rather “a good spanking.” 

Right after this, he describes Amanda, whom he hasn’t met, in very unflattering terms, including that she probably doesn’t have a brain. Here’s a diagnosis, Dr. Flagg. You’re a misogynist. 

Already we can see some issues with Carefree. 1938 may have been a different time but nothing about Astaire’s character is charming, kind, or anything we’d want Rogers to be paired with.

• I do like that as usual Rogers’ character doesn’t stand for any crap. She doesn’t give one single eff about his questions or his attempts to chat with her and then she storms out. 

• Astaire spent two weeks rehearsing the golf solo (aka "Since They Turned 'Loch Lomond' into Swing"), during which he did a thousand swings. The actual number took two and a half days to film. 

Surely it helped that he was an avid golfer already. In addition to horse racing, it was one of his favorites hobbies. 

It goes without saying that he hits a golf ball better in the midst of a dance than I could on a driving range. 

It also probably goes without saying that the only reason Tony does this number is because his ego is insulted by Amanda. 

• Rogers looks particularly fab in her shorts during the bicycle scenes. 

• Amanda begins to warm up to Tony after seeing he has talents besides psychoanalysis and insulting women he hasn’t met. But she only truly starts to like him after he makes an idiot of himself by crashing his bike into a bush. 

• Cora thinks that Tony sent her a gigolo?? And she’s totally on board with it?? And she drinks something this random man (who we know is Tony’s assistant) hands her???

• “I Used to be Color Blind” has a lot of potential that it doesn’t live up to imo. As you might guess by the song and the way the scene is filmed, this sequence was supposed to be in color. But, depending on who you ask, either the studio felt it was too expensive or the color tests looked horrible so it was scrapped. Either way, it’s a shame. Audiences had to wait over ten years to see Astaire and Rogers dancing in color.

• I’m also not wild about the slow motion, which seems a bit goofy. However, it does let us better appreciate the talent and mastery of Astaire and Rogers. For example, when he lifts her in a spin, her feet don’t touch the ground again for a while and they both make it seem effortless. 

• Soooo the Kiss. I know I’ve been banging the kiss kiss kiss drum for a few movies now. But this almost isn’t that satisfying? Now, I would say that this could’ve been intentional on Astaire’s part since he (and maybe his wife?) was the one opposed to any on-screen clinches and preferred the romance and intimacy to be in the dances. But, Astaire wasn’t comfortable with even this finished product, according to both his account and Rogers’. The slow-motion made what was really just a peck on the lips seem like much more, which he felt made up for all of the kisses he hadn’t given her in their previous films. So it seems unlikely he had any hand in intentionally making it unsatisfying. 

More likely, it’s that of all of the scenes, songs, dances, and movies for a kiss to happen, this isn’t the one I would’ve picked. A peck on the lips during “The Continental” would’ve been perfect, or a delicate kiss after “Cheek to Cheek” or a passionate one after “Never Gonna Dance.” Just a few places I wish we’d seen a kiss rather than (or in addition to) here.

All of that said, I will say that there’s something very fitting that in the scene Rogers is the one to lean up and kiss him rather than him being the proactive one. That’s very fitting for their off-screen dynamic too where he was far more shy and reserved. And I do like that it’s clearly an intimate kiss, as evidenced by the way she wraps her arms around his back. 

• Two years before she would win her historic Oscar, Hattie McDaniel appears in Carefree in an uncredited role as a maid.

• When Amanda next meets with Tony, she is conflicted about telling him about her dream where she was very clearly in love with him and not boring old Steve. Her sweater conveys her struggle. It has arrows piercing an embroidered heart over her actual heart. 

• Amanda’s invented dream is insane but who hasn’t made up ridiculous excuses to stay around their crush? But kids, don’t go so far as being put under anesthesia. 

• The whole period where Amanda is still drugged and acting weird is absolutely something I typically skip, even though Rogers does a good job with the slapstick.

• “The Yam” harkens back to previous numbers like “The Piccolino” or “The Continental.” Even though it feels almost a bit outdated at this point, it’s a fun, upbeat number in an otherwise somewhat dull film. 

• I like that Astaire drops the acting after a few seconds. He’s just himself for most of this dance and looks like he’s having the most fun he has at any point in this movie. Rogers is also all smiles and looks marvelous. 

• I also like that they dance around so much of the lodge and use much of the scenery as part of the number. 

• Some fun lyrics:

“I didn’t come to do the Charleston” - Rogers got her start in entertainment by winning a Charleston contest when she was 14.

“I didn’t come to ball the jack” - Five years later, Judy Garland will perform a superb number called “Ballin’ the Jack” in For Me and My Gal with a promising new musical star: Gene Kelly. 

• Gotta give it up for the EIGHT times they do the move where his leg is up on the table and she leaps over it. 

• She is undoubtedly whispering something to him when they start to slow dance. 

• Rogers is a really wonderful actress. She does a stellar job when Amanda tells Tony she’s actually in love with him.

• Look, I get that Tony’s trying to find a way out of a situation wherein his friend’s fiancé has fallen in love with him and plans to break it off with his friend, but telling Amanda she’s imagining her feelings is pretty crappy of him. Hypnotizing her so she’ll hate him and marry Steve instead is pretty stupid. 

But once again, Rogers does a fab job in this scene. Hypnotized or not, she’s obviously devastated and cries even while pretending to be in a trance. 

• “Kiss her, you dope!” is what I’ve been saying for seven movies. 

• Some light gun violence humor here in 1938.

• I assume it’s an in-joke that the judge’s last name is Travers, which was the last name of Astaire’s character in Gay Divorcee.

• We already knew Steve was hapless trash but refusing to allow Amanda to choose her own future and instead leaving her hypnotized and getting a restraining order against his friend to prevent Tony and Amanda from ever getting together is a new low.

• Unsurprisingly, the most enduring song from this film is “Change Partners,” which was nominated for an Oscar. It’s also one of my favorites and frequently gets stuck in my head. 

• At least Steve’s stupidity is used against him. Tony literally sings exactly what he’s going to do (“I’ll tell the waiter to tell him he’s wanted on the telephone”) and yet Steve still falls for it. 

• For the third(?) time in this film, Rogers must pretend to be in a trance, this time dancing to Astaire’s hypnotic hands. But not long in, she clearly breaks through a bit because she becomes more of a participant. She grabs his hand when it’s on her waist and melts into his arms when they embrace. 

• “Change Partners” as a dance is incredibly intimate. That’s not so unusual for Astaire and Rogers’ romantic duets but it’s a tad unusual in this particular film where, despite that kiss, they’ve hardly had any romantic interactions. And yet in this dance, they are frequently very close together, his lips hover near hers more than once, and it’s all very slow. In fact, they very nearly kiss a few times. To me it’s further proof that as long-awaited as the earlier kiss was, there were and are better places for it, such as right here.

• Amanda really gets a raw deal. Sure she gets to marry the man she actually loves. But in the process, she nearly shoots him and others, gets arrested, is subjected to a variety of psychological experiments, and then gets punched in the face on her wedding day. 

• During this rewatch I’ve been surprised how much I’ve enjoyed certain films I don’t watch as much, like Gay Divorcee, but Carefree is pretty much how I remember it. Very little worth rewatching, except “The Yam” and “Change Partners.”

• Up next is the last RKO production Astaire and Rogers made and the end of their partnership… for now. It’s The Story of Vernon and Irene Castle.

[holisticalecsecareanu]

An interview for Adevarul.ro with Alec from 2017 just ast God’s Own Country came out. 

I found this notable because after the initial questions about the film which have been asked before, the interview does delve into other areas that I haven’t read covered, like how Alec’s parent’s responded to him wanting to be an actor, and how Alec felt about what I assume is a family values group in Romania and their stance on LGBTQ people. He very plainly states his support for the community and how happy he is the film was well recieved and if it were possible for him to be more perfect, I don’t know how that could be. 

I just really find a different energy to the interviews Alec does in Romanian. Not only are they easily twice as long, but he just seems to answer with a lot more detail and ease. 

The Google translated version is below. Again, I have no way of checking for accuracy, so keep that in mind. :-)

Actor Alec Secăreanu (32 years old) spoke in an interview for "Adevărul" about how he was chosen to star in the multi-award-winning British film "Blessed Land / God's Own Country", how he prepared for this role, which is the message film, but also about what the acting profession involves. News on the same topic Alec Secăreanu plays the role of a Romanian gay day laborer in ... The British film "Blessed Land / God's Own Country", starring Alec Secăreanu, entered Romanian cinemas on November 17. The feature film presents the love story between the British farmer Johnny Saxby (played by Josh O'Connor) and the Romanian worker Gheorghe Ionescu (played by Alec Secăreanu). "God's Own Country", directed by Francis Lee, is one of the most discussed and awarded films of 2017, being compared in the international press with the famous "Brokeback Mountain" - winner of three Oscars, starring Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhhall.

The film was released at the Sundance Film Festival (Utah / USA) at the beginning of the year, and then participated in an impressive number of festivals, winning numerous awards: Männer Jury Award at the Berlinale, Award for Best International Film Direction - drama at Sundance Film Festival, Best British Film at Edinburgh International Festival, Special Jury Prize at TIFF Cluj, Best Film at Frameline San Francisco International LGBTQ Film Festival, Best Toronto Debut Award Inside Lesbian and Gay Film and Video Festival.

The casting for "God's Own Country" lasted six months in Romania, and the director Francis Lee saw over 40 Romanian actors for this role choosing Alec Secăreanu.

Alec Secăreanu graduated from UNATC in 2007. In Romania he starred in a series of short films ("Candy Crush", "Silks", "My Name Is ...", etc.), TV series ("Daria, my love", "One step ahead", "Bet with life") and feature films: "Love Bus: Five love stories from Bucharest", "Adalbert's dream".

"The Truth": How did you come to play in this British film?

Alec Secăreanu: I took the test, I sent a self-tape. Me and about 40 other actors. Francis Lee was looking for a Romanian for this character. He came to Bucharest, he wanted to meet some of these actors, and I was one of them. Then he sent me the script, I read it for the first time, I really liked it and I really wanted to be part of this project and this story. I met him, we worked together for almost an hour, after which I flew to London, me and three other Romanian actors, to do a chemistry test with Josh O’Connor, the other main actor. The test went very well and I took the test.

What did the director tell you? Why did he choose you?

He told me that I resonated the most with the character, that I was what he needed for the character Gheorghe. He liked that I understood some substrates of Gheorghe.

Tell us about Gheorghe Ionescu.

Gheorghe is a Romanian born and raised somewhere in the country, in the Timisoara area. He arrives in England to work, like many other Romanians. After a while, we find in the film Gheorghe who is hired on Johnny's farm for the beginning of spring, the season in which the lambs are born. He is a guy with his head on his shoulders, seated, for whom the quality of life of the animals he takes care of matters a lot, a sensitive guy who invests in people, but also very cerebral.

How did you prepare for this role?

We started working on the characters almost three months before filming. After taking the test, I did a skype with Francis who started asking me all kinds of questions about the character, about his biography, his parents, other relationships, school, how he got to England. I built his whole biography, from the moment he was born until the first time you see him appear on screen, I settled this whole life with Francis. After that, I arrived in Yorkshire and there were two weeks of character training, in which I worked every day on the farm, from morning, from first hour, to evening. In the two weeks we worked, we basically understood what life on the farm means, it gave us the quality of the characters, because we had to work a lot outside, and in Yorkshire spring is not like in Romania. There the weather is bipolar, as I told him, meaning you have four seasons in one day: it starts with snow, then hail, then storm, then the sun rises for five minutes and then it starts again. Working a lot outside, of course, that environment affected us too, because all the moisture and all the cold somehow got into our bones and changed our way of walking, our posture. All these things helped us to build the characters. I worked on two different farms. Me at Francis's father's farm, Josh at the farm where the movie was shot. Francis tried to keep us as far away from each other as possible, because he wanted the first meeting on the screen to be as authentic as possible, to be full of tension, clumsiness. It wasn't until a while since we started filming that Josh and I moved into the same house, and our friendship began to develop at the same time as the relationship on screen. We filmed chronologically and that helped us a lot.

How did you prepare for the role of a homosexual?

I don't think sexual orientation is the defining characteristic of my character. I tried to approach the three-dimensional character and see exactly what is behind the character. His sexual orientation exists, and he accepts it, he is comfortable with it.

So does the character know about his sexual orientation or does he discover it?

No, it's not a movie about coming out. It is a film in which both characters are comfortable with their sexual orientation and it is a film in which, in fact, these characters are emotionally closed and the film captures their struggle to open up emotionally and let themselves be loved and loved back.

How was your first contact with Josh?

We met at the casting, it was very nice. We worked very well since the test, we stayed I think an hour and a half together. At one point it was nice to take a break and go out with him to smoke, and Francis told us that he came out after us and hid to see if we were still talking or if we were sitting on the phone. Josh is a very cool guy, with whom I developed a beautiful friendship. It has nothing to do with the character on the screen, he is a super nice and open guy and we worked very well together.

Why do you think they chose a Romanian actor for this character? Did they want to emphasize that there are a lot of Romanian immigrants?

The character is somewhat inspired by an acquaintance that Francis had. He's known since he wrote the screenplay that he wants an outsider for this character. Before starting film, he worked in a junkyard and there he found a Romanian named Tavi. He was very impressed by his story, namely how much he had to endure all kinds of xenophobic attitudes on the part of employees, bosses, just to carry out his goal - to support his family, to be able to he also brings her to Britain. In time, he managed to bring his wife, buy an apartment and make a good living.

Given that homosexuality is still a taboo subject in Romania, have you thought about the reactions you will receive from here?

No, I was never interested in that. He's not the first gay character I play either. I have a pro-tolerant attitude and I don't care what people think about it. I know I grew up in a homophobic society, but I was lucky to have open-minded parents who taught me that there is absolutely no problem with a person's sexual orientation. They just saw the movie a few days ago and they loved it.

What did you learn from this role?

That you have to be authentic and true, with yourself as a person, first of all, and especially as an actor, if you practice this profession. I've been lucky enough to work with people who are very passionate about what they do and I've learned a lot from them about what it means to make a film, not to betray the process, to focus on the story you want to tell and be as authentic and organic as possible in this direction. It helped me a lot as an actor, but of course also as a person, because I won very good friends from this movie, which you don't meet very often.

Have you noticed a difference between the way the teams from outside work compared to the way the ones from Romania work?

Yes, there is a difference, but there is an imposed difference. Those people have regulated a lot of things, they are organized in unions that protect their rights. And of course you feel these things on the set because absolutely all the conditions are created for you to be able to deliver what is required of you. I felt this from the first day I got there. I'm talking about the days I spent on the farm, the things I needed on set. "God's Own Country" is compared in the international press to "Brokeback Mountain".

Did you expect such a positive reaction?

We are honored by this comparison, you know. "Brokeback Mountain" is a great movie, only there are two totally different movies, with different issues. If in "Brokeback Mountain" you have two characters who are not comfortable with their sexuality, they discover it, they are both married to women and they have problems about how they think the world will look at their relationship, here is never the question about it. . Both characters are comfortable with who they are, it's a story about letting yourself be loved and loved back, about vulnerability in the end.

What was the hardest thing about this role?

Working on the farm, altogether. I realized how hard it is to be a farmer. People who have a farm have absolutely no free time, no weekends, no days off, no vacations. And they are not only farmers, they are also masons, mechanics and all this physical work that I did there seemed to me the hardest part of all the training and the whole movie.

Did the fact that "God's Own Country" was appreciated by critics bring you bigger projects? Did you feel a change?

I have felt a change in the way my phone rings more often and I receive more emails. Yes, a lot has happened since this movie came out. It is a very important point in my career, this film helped me a lot in terms of visibility and to develop as an actor.

Why should Romanians go to see the film?

I think you should go see it because it's a film about hope, it's a very beautiful love story between two people who apparently come from two different worlds, but actually have so much in common. I hope it gives them hope in true love, that's what the movie is about.

Have you received any feedback so far, from here or from abroad, from the LGBT community?

Yes, I've been to a lot of LGBT festivals. I’ve been to Inside Out, Toronto, Outfest in L.A., NewFest in New York and so on. The community received the film very well and I think it is a very good year for queer films, as has never happened before. From the feedback I received, I think the community needed a movie like "God's own country" because it's a movie about hope, and most of the time, queer movies end in tragedy. We needed a happy ending movie.

What do you think about the Family Coalition?

I think they should deal with really important things for the family, such as dropping out of school, single-parent families, children who are abandoned by their parents to go and work abroad, by no means with this referendum which is totally useless and expensive. and which, in fact, instigates hatred and intolerance.

In the summer of this year, you also appeared in an American film, "The Saint", in which Roger Moore also plays. Is your goal to become a famous actor in Hollywood?

My goal, as an actor, is to create characters that are as authentic as possible and to tell stories. That's what I prepared for, that's what I do and that's what I know how to do. I try to take them moment by moment, because I might skip some steps if I start thinking about where I want to go. I want to work more in film, I also want to do theater, but I take them moment by moment and see where it takes me. A lot has happened to me this year. I now have an agent in London, I have one in L.A., I get screenplays, I read, I'm offered things. I want to take it slow and build my career

How do you see what's happening in Hollywood right now, in the context of a series of allegations of sexual harassment? Have you ever faced something like this?

I have heard of situations of sexual harassment in our country from some directors from my fellow actresses and I have witnessed moments of verbal and physical harassment at many rehearsals. I don't know if it's a practice, a habit, but these things happen and I don't think it's OK to be like that. I think things can happen in a civilized context. People have lately become more vocal as the world begins to aspire to a kind of normalcy. I encourage people to say when something goes wrong in an institution, in a team, because it is not OK and an attitude must be taken.

Have you ever considered a role you would like to play?

Yes, I really want to play Platonov in Chekhov's "Untitled Play." I had the opportunity in college to work a little on this character and he stayed there somewhere.

What is the most precious thing you learned in college?

Be true and honest with yourself and do not betray, because if you lie you will see immediately. As an actor, you do not learn to lie, but to tell the truth. And the more honest you are with yourself, the more you manage to overcome that barrier and people start to really believe you.

What pushed you to the theater?

I think I made up my mind in high school. I did a high school with a Mathematics-Computer Science profile like my parents and my older brother. And at one point, in the 10th grade, I discovered that there was a theater circle and I started going to it, after a while I realized that I could get out of class to go to the theater. and I kind of fell in love with this thing. I've been a performer since I was little. And in 12th grade, I said, "OK, that's exactly what I want to do." There followed a rather strange period with my parents, who did not agree to be an actor, we quarreled for a long time to a point where they saw that I was really determined and from that moment on they supported me. to the end and still support me and are very proud of what I do. I somehow understood that I was still a teenager and many teenagers are in a hurry and I understand why they had to be somehow sure that this is what I want and that I'm not kidding, it's not just a phase I'm going through. There is inconsistency in this job, there is always a risk of not having projects. You have periods when you are very crowded and periods when you do absolutely nothing. But in that period when you don't do anything and you wait for your phone to ring, you still have to try to be prepared, to be warm, to read, to repeat, to develop, to keep worrying.

Have you ever had a stalemate in the profession?

I could call them dead ends when I had to find another job to pay my bills and I started bringing used cars from Germany or working as a bartender or waiter and you realize that you are bitter, that you know you want to work, you know you're an actor and that's what you want to do. And at one point, every time I realized that my job was taking up too much of my time and I no longer focused on my job, I quit my job and went back to acting and tried to care more. I also worked in casting for almost five years and I learned a lot from this experience, as a process and what happens behind the cameras. As an actor you enter the casting room and you have emotions, sometimes you miss rehearsals because of emotions, because you have 5 minutes to give everything. But being on the other side of the room, I learned a lot from my fellow actors taking the rehearsals and I was thinking about what they did to get the rehearsal and I started to develop a behavior about how to present myself at the casting, and that helped me.

Is there a role that you really wanted and didn't take the casting?

The first thing an actor has to get used to is rejecting and trying not to take it personally, because you often go to rehearsals and maybe you are not suitable for that role or maybe the director has something else in mind. I learned to treat all the tests with professionalism, to go and give everything I can at that moment and then if it turns out - well, if not - well again. OK, I have a stake in every casting I go to, but I try not to be disappointed if I don't take the test, because otherwise I would fall into depression.

What's the hardest thing for an actor?

Let's "keep your sh * t together". (Laughs) It's delicate, because many times, especially when you work quite hard, you take your psyche and hit it with all the walls and you become very vulnerable. It is important to have a period of decompression after a project, in which to put all those things aside, to be able to breathe, to be able to be a man with normal preoccupations. I think that's the hardest part, holding your head on your shoulders. Many times things can happen that distract you from your path.

[zhanenaomi]

It must be exhausting to be so weird all the time

Earlier, I saw a clip on the BBC Facebook page of Original Flava (a British-Caribbean duo creating recipes), making some bbq jerk burgers. As is my bad habit, I checked the comments for the inevitable racist comment about the BBC trying to be “woke” for showing people that black people exist in the UK. There I found a random account, posting a youtube clip of the late Dame Vera Lynn singing ‘Land of Hope and Glory’. This comment was obviously in reference to the fact that the BBC recently announced that ‘Rule Britannia’ and ‘Land of Hope and Glory’ would be performed without words at the Proms (only for this year). This, again obviously, is the fault of all black people (including Original Flava) and absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact that we are in a global pandemic of a virus that is easily spread by loud singing. The thing that disturbs me most about these comments is less the blanket assumption that all black people just sit around foaming at the mouth at the sheer idea of colonial lyricism, and more that this random person had clearly just copied the link to this video to post on any video they saw with a black person in it. Whether that video was about black people barbecuing, black people singing, black people talking about the economy, they were ready to own us with a youtube video of a song literally none of us will click on and listen to. It just made me think, surely it is exhausting to be so weird all the time?

Now, comments like this are admittedly pretty harmless, especially given the fact that they present that the person commenting is much more hurt than anyone else in this situation. However, by far the most disturbing thing I saw in the BBC comments that day, was on a Children in Need post. BBC Children in Need announced that they would specifically be donating £10 million to black children (a thing that is reasonably necessary given that 46% of BAME children live in poverty) (also this will be going over the course of 10 years, not a one time payment). By all intents and purposes, it is highly likely that vast amounts of Children in Need money were already going to black communities, given they go to… British children that are in need. The post in question was clarifying on false reports that they were giving money directly to the Black Lives Matter organisation, and in response many people said that since the BBC were now giving money to black children, they would no longer give money to the BBC. This, despite the fact that Children in Need fundraises year-round, and raised almost £50 million during their official appeal night last year and has raised more than £1 billion since 1980, and so £10 million over ten years is likely a drop in the ocean for this organisation. Way to throw your toys out of the pram, right guys? “If disadvantaged black kids are getting my money, then no disadvantaged kids are getting my money”! What a bizarre world view to have! It must take up a lot of time and energy to not only decide that giving money to disadvantaged children of colour in a country where they’re more likely to be disadvantaged than white children is racist for some reason, but then also to camp out in random Facebook comment sections talking about how you hate this alleged racism so much that you will be boycotting a charity because of it. Remarkably wild. Amazingly wild. Incredibly wild.

The last Facebook comment section weirdness I want to talk about is the reaction to news involving arrests, crime, and police brutality, most specifically the “If you do nothing wrong, the police will leave you alone” argument. First of all, tell that to yer man Harry Maguire. Second of all, there is police data stating that between March and May, you know, those months when we were knee deep in the throes of a global pandemic that is disproportionately killing black people, 21,950 stops and searches on young black men were carried out in the capital, approximately 80% of which lead to no further action. So if we’re keeping score, not only is the most expensive defender in the world not exempt from being harassed by police when his account suggests no wrongdoing on his part, but around 18,000 young black men were put directly in harms way by being searched by police without masks (and obviously without social distancing) in the midst of a pandemic, for no crime other than being black and maybe having a nice car. The reason I bring up Harry Maguire is because I would assume that most British people believe and support Harry Maguire over the Greek police, and none of them would ever use the “no crime, no police intervention” argument towards a news story about him. You know, like they did when George Floyd died. The point here is that people in these comments like to pretend that they are indiscriminate. They like to say “I don’t care if you’re rich, poor, black, white, gay, straight (insert identity here), if you’re getting arrested you must have done something wrong” which is simply just not true, and the fact that you don’t say these things when a white British footballer is brutally arrested is very telling. It shows who you assume to have being “doing crime” when they were apprehended versus who you assume to be innocent until proven guilty. Because the fact of the matter is that you DO care whether someone is black or white or poor or rich and the like, you obviously do. And its weird to lie about it to save face in Facebook comments. Ain’t you tired, Miss Hilly? (I’m assuming you all understand that reference given the unnecessarily large amounts of people who rushed to watch The Help after the BLM protests began earlier this year).

These things are all interconnected, because I’m sure that these keyboard warriors had some similarly angry takes when Stormzy offered scholarships to black students aiming to go to Cambridge University, and love to talk about “black on black crime” when black people are invited onto news outlets to talk about institutional racism in the police force. What this comes down to, is a clear lack of critical thinking and a clear racial bias. We know that crimes like theft and drug dealing tend to be crimes of necessity. No one steals bread and milk for the “thrill of the chase”. Poverty and crime are intrinsically linked. So why are you so hellbent on preventing black people from receiving assistance to escape poverty? If you want crime to reduce, then you should also want poverty to reduce, this is just the truth. If you don’t see how crime in black communities links to socioeconomic status in these black communities, then you probably (consciously or unconsciously) believe that nothing can be done to help black people; we are just inherently bad, born with a criminal gene. Suffice to say, this is a racist thought to have. Even when black people do manage to “pull ourselves up by our bootstraps” this also does not mean we’ll be treated favourably by the general public. The nation’s favourite punching bag is a black woman who was born into a low income household, attended Cambridge University, worked in the Civil Service and became the first black female MP in this country; this is of course Diane Abbott, who unfortunately receives half of all the abuse sent to female MPs overall.

Although I started out joking about how these people are just weird, the more I write, the more uncomfortable I feel. Is there a way out? Is there anyway we can win? Is our destiny to win the bet, just to be shot in the face by our loan sharks and have our proverbial jewellery shop ransacked (metaphor working on the assumption of your knowledge of the film Uncut Gems)? Its one thing to say weird things in video comments, it’s another to actually truly believe them. In the wake of the recent shooting of Jacob Blake, I’ve witnessed a spate of comments making statements about the case that are simply not true – things that have never been reported by the police or any credible news outlets. What do you gain from lying about these things? I guess you gain more public distrust in the black community and more animosity towards BLM protesters. I assume that’s what these people are aiming for, since I can see no personal benefit to lying about a case (unless you are the actual police officers involved in the shooting?). I actively try and stop myself from hopping into comment sections now because honestly and truly, it’s one of the most exhausting things to see hundreds of people talk about how bored they are of black people appearing on their screens. I’m sorry that my presence tires you out, guys. I’ve been staying off of Twitter because it’s good for my mental health to not be dialled into the ~discourse~ 24/7. It’s sad the way that these things often make black people feel that they are the ones who need to pull away in order to protect themselves. Dawn Butler has tweeted about how many young black women tell her they can’t see themselves pursuing a career in politics because of the sheer amount of hate they see black MPs receive. I want black children to receive financial support without fear that the rest of the world hates them for it. I want black people to get uni places and jobs without hearing others say that they got it because of their skin, rather than their merit and potential. I want black people to be present in the public eye without having to report racial abuse against them to the police on a weekly basis. The way that Britain works is that Britain has been and always will be, a multicultural nation. This is the result of the British Empire that we’re all oh so proud of. Therefore, (and this is not controversial to say), British people descended from individuals born in Empire nations deserve to live in Britain without constant apology for our existence, our actions, and our criticism of our government. Yeah, I bet its exhausting to act in such a bizarre way on social media. But imagine how tired we are.

 References:

Children in Need is not donating £10 million to Black Lives Matter - https://fullfact.org/online/children-in-need-blm/?fbclid=IwAR0RfWtsHKxeFGv8PBrY64J-QoqpiEWb3Td1nPE9WvYvZXTuksIB3ZOET9k

BBC Children in Need’s 2019 Appeal raises an incredible £47.8 million - https://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/latestnews/2019/cin-total

Child poverty facts and figures - https://cpag.org.uk/child-poverty/child-poverty-facts-and-figures

Met carried out 22,000 searches on young black men during lockdown - https://www.theguardian.com/law/2020/jul/08/one-in-10-of-londons-young-black-males-stopped-by-police-in-may

Diane Abbott more abused than any other female MP during election - https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/sep/05/diane-abbott-more-abused-than-any-other-mps-during-election

[beeexx]

Set after 2x6, Alex and Kyle talk about things.

You can read it here  on my ao3 too. Just a little snippet I wrote after everything so to say.

“I need a friend.” That’s the words Alex wakes up to when he finally crawls out of his bedroom to open the door to Kyle’s persistent ringing. His cheek has a crease from sleeping in a weird position on his pillow and his hair is sleep tousled.

At the sight of Alex Kyle’s eyebrow shoots upwards and his mouth open.

“Wait, were you sleeping?” Alex is too tired to feel bothered by the fact that he is indeed only wearing sweatpants and a blanket wrapped around himself.

“Maybe.” He mutters

“Dude, it’s like 1pm.”

“Yeah well…”

“Okay, maybe you need a friend too, can I come in?” Alex bites back the reply of we’re not friends which threatens to escape. Also, the fact that he steps aside to let Kyle in probably means they are. From behind him Kyle picks up two plastic bags and sidesteps Alex to get inside. 

“Just make yourself comfortable.” He mutters to the empty space and closes it slowly. His brain really hasn’t woken up enough for this. He walks into his bedroom and puts on a t-shirt and an old ratty jumper lying at the back of his closet. When he finally makes it to the kitchen where Kyle is he decides that Kyle and him are definitely friends because a cup of hot steaming coffee is pushed into his hands. He can’t help the moan he lets out at the sip he takes. Kyle just chuckles and leans back against the counter, looking happy. 

“So, what’s up?”

“Ugh, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay, if you’re not here to talk about it then why are you here?”

“Well it was this, the gym or gettin drunk, and before you ask, yes I already tried the gym. It didn’t do the trick. And the second option being alcohol, it is 1pm and I am not in the habit of getting drunk at that time, and I also have a job to go to tomorrow and I didn’t think you would appreciate getting drunk with me. Because, well because you have a job to go to as well. So I had to get creative and hanging out honestly seemed like the best option I had.”

Alex takes another sip.

 “Should I feel offended by the fact that I rank the lowest on that list?” 

“I thought you might say that so I bought bribing material.” He looks through one of the plastic bags and holds up a couple of Airheads and a packet of flaming hot Cheetos. Kyle wiggle his eyebrows.

“Yeah that is definitely not bad bragging material.” Alex puts the coffee down and takes the snacks off Kyle.

“I haven’t had Airheads in so long.”

“They used to be your favourite when we grew up.”

“You remember?” Alex is actually surprised to hear that.

“Of course I remember. I don’t even know why you like them so much but today I am definitely not judging because on the way here I stopped and probably bought mine and your weights combined in snacks.”

“You really must be having a bad day.” Alex laughs.

“I drove all the way here and brought enough snacks to give me diabetes in 20 years time, so yes I definitely am.” Kyle says and picks out a bag of Moams from the bags. Alex peeks over his shoulder to see that Kyle definitely wasn’t lying. The bags or filled up with different kinds of snacks to honestly last Alex 6 months. 

“Did you at least bring anything to drink with all of this?”

Kyle replies by taking out a six packs of Mountain Dew and Coke and Alex shakes his head but goes for the Mountain Dew.

“I haven’t had this shit since I was a kid, that’s for sure.” He takes out a glass and hands one to Kyle before he fills his glass up with the soda. He takes a sip and it tastes just like he remembers, sickly sweet. He takes an even bigger sip.

“So, what’s next then?”

“I have thought of that too my friend.” Kyle says and apparently he has because what he does next is that he he puts a stack of DVDs in front of Alex and steps back.

“Wow, you really have.” Alex leans over and looks at the selection. He spots Back to the Future at the top. 

“I have.”

“Star Wars? Really?” Alex holds the DVD up.

“Oh yes, I am desperate enough to watch Star Wars, that should tell you something.”

“Yeah, but Star Wars, that’s a new level even for you.”

Kyle snorts and pops some popcorn into his mouth. 

“I didn’t know you even owned this.” Kyle shrugs.

“I bought them a while back but I’ve not really had the time to watch them.”

“I see… well you know what sure. Let’s watch Star Wars.” Alex picks up one of the bags along with his snacks and walks into the living room, Kyle in tow. 

“This is a nice place.” Kyle notes as he lays himself down onto the couch like he owns the place. Alex lets him, just because he’s having a day. He sits down on the other end and opens up the Cheetos. 

“Thanks.”

“The military pay for this?”

“Yeah.”

“Hm, not bad.”

Alex picks up the DVD.

“Are you sure you want to watch this?”

“I’m probably the only 28 year old who hasn’t seen Star Wars, I feel like I’m missing out on part of my culture.”

“I mean yeah you probably are the only person our age who hasn’t seen this. You know you’re supposed to start with episode IV right?”

“What? How does that make any sense. Why?” 

Alex laughs at the obvious confusion Kyle seems to feel over this.

“George Lucas had the idea for Star Wars for a long time and while he was making the first film he had already figured out a lot of the backstory and what happened before it. But because he wasn’t sure it wouldn’t completely flop he waited to make the others after the success was already certain of the three first films.”

The room’s silent and Kyle’s looking at him like he’s slightly insane.

“Okay, you asked.” Alex says, his cheeks only heating a little.

“Yeah, no, okay that was totally on me. I did ask.”

Alex replies by chucking a Cheetos at his face and Kyle’s reflexes kick in and he catches it mid air. He looks proud and Alex just rolls his eyes. 

“Okay, are you sure you want to spend the afternoon watching Star Wars of all things? I’m sure I can find something that you’d actually enjoy.”

“Nope, I’m certain.” Alex relents and puts on episode IV. He’s having a little bit of a hard time  believing this whole to be fair but whatever if Kyle doesn’t want to talk about it then he’s not going to push him. 

Alex lasts about 40 minutes of munching snacks and drinking Coke like he’s 15 again, and a part of him enjoys it because he doesn’t have to think about…...things……. but he’s been living by his own motto when it comes to everyone which is that he left bullshit in Iraq. He sighs and presses pause.

“Hey, that Luke person was just about to do some training with the erm stick….oooo lightsaber, why did you turn it off?”

Alex is surprised Kyle actually seems to have grasped what is going on.

“The fact that you’re keeping up tells me this is serious enough that we need to have a conversation.”

Kyle’s eyes widens and he slumps down in his seat and crosses his arms.

“Are you pouting like a child??”

“No.” The tone is so petulant Alex laughs.

“Come on, what’s going on? I’m trying to be a friend now. For real totally trying.” Kyle grimaces

“I’d rather watch Luke Skytalker.”

“Walker.”

“Yeah, whatever, I’d rather watch him and Han Solo save Carrie Fisher.”

“Princess Leia, also you know who Carrie Fisher is?”

“Of course I know who she is, I was a jock but I wasn’t blind.”

Alex can buy that.

“Nope, we’re still talking.”

Kyle sighs and lies down completely on the couch. 

“Okay, well the other day was definitely weird. I’ve been avoiding Liz because, well I am struggling a little bit with having to deal with her choosing Max and me doing her every bidding which is clearly not healthy so I went to this gay bar just to get away a little from everything and I ran into Isobel. Now I like Isobel, and we danced and had a good time and then we were totally gonna sleep with each other but I chickened out because I kind of like this other girl so I went back to the hospital to see if she was still around only to find out that she was in surgery, all alone without telling me anything…. and I’ve been feeling kind of off since.” He rambles on.

“Wait, did you just tell me you went to a gay bar?” Alex cannot believe this. Kyle groans and hides his face.

“My hopes were that you would hyper focus on me and Isobel almost sleeping together rather than the gay bar part.”

“Oh you and Isobel almost sleeping together that doesn’t surprise me one bit to be honest. I thought it would happen sooner than this.”

“....what?” Kyle shouts.

“But you, Kyle ‘Hyper Masculine’ Valenti went to a gay bar?”

“Can we focus on the other parts of the story?”

“No, definitely not.”

“Ugh, well I’m very comfortable in myself and my sexuality thank you very much but even us straight guys enjoy putting glitter on our faces from time to time.”

“Oh my god.” Alex laughs, loving this. “You had glitter on your face?”

“Totally.”

“Please tell me you have pictures.”

“Sorry.”

“Well that’s just a crime, you went to a gay bar with glitter on your face and didn’t take any photos?”

“You can just come with me next time and see.”

“Honestly I might, it sounds very tempting.” Alex jokes and Kyle smiles. 

“Back to the issue please.”

“What is the issue exactly?”

“I don’t even know, I like Steff and I thought we had something going on. But now I’m worried about her too, and then the whole Isobel thing and it’s all just messed with my head.”

“I don’t mean to make it into a competition over who’s had a worse day out of the two of us, but I honestly think I win.” Alex says without thinking. His eyes widen and he shakes his head.

“No I mean nothing by that.”

“Pfft, you left bullshit in Iraq, well I left bullshit in high school, so what’s going on? I’m only going to assume it has something to do with you staying in bed like a teenager to 1pm.”

“I can’t believe I’m about to tell you this... Well I went with Maria to find out more information about her mom’s disappearance and we ended up in the middle of nowhere with this crazy guy who stabbed me in the chest and chased Maria through a cornfield. Michael came later too, but Maria had already disabled the guy by then and I was mostly fine. Then we find out the crazy guy has a twin who is well, not crazy and shoots his brother in front of us and tells us to call an ambulance and then get the hell out of there. Which we do and then after coming down from the adrenaline of almost dying well, I have a threesome with Maria and Michael….”

Kyle spits the soda out. 

“What the fuck?!”

“So I win then?”

“Oh totally, but also what the fuck? You had what now? A threesome?”

“Yeah.” Alex runs a hand through his hair and avoids looking at Kyle. 

“But you’re gay.”

“Yeah definitely.”

“Erm so why? I mean not that I’m against threesomes, you do you if you know what I mean. I am however having a little bit of trouble understanding why you slept with the love of your life and your best friend in this world?”

Alex tries not to flinch at the words because he’s kind of tried to stay in denial about the whole goddamn thing and when it’s put in the terms of love of your life and best friend in the whole world it sound really stupid.

He shrugs.

“I just… I just… I don’t know I didn’t want to be alone after everything that had just happened. I mean getting stabbed is not something that’s ever happened to me. It wasn’t exactly common when I was deployed so getting sneaked up on and then assaulted wasn’t something I wanted to go home to an empty house with. I have enough PTSD already and that was just doomed to set of insomnia for a while. So staying was better than leaving and then one thing led to another.”

“Wow man...that’s tough. How are you feeling?”

“How often do you think I end up sleeping to 1pm?”

“So, is this one of those instances where I have to go beat Michael up?”

Despite all it makes Alex smile. He feels grateful for Kyle.

“No it wasn’t his fault. And also we’re not in high school anymore, I could totally take the both of you on even with just one leg.”

“Yeah that’s definitely true. Well you say the word and I will drive over and drag him out the junkyard myself.”

Alex smiles again.

“Thanks, but no need.”

“So you’re not angry?”

“No no, not angry, I just…”

“He chose Maria again?”

Alex wonders if it’s all written on his face and that’s why Kyle seems to be able to read it all.

“No it’s not really that. I just. I feel anger towards my dad sometimes. Because he fucked me up so badly when I was young.”

“Hey hey, there’s nothing wrong with you.” 

Kyle puts his hand down between them on the sofa, leaving it there for Alex to take if he wants to. He exhales.

“I went to therapy after I lost my leg. It’s the first time I went. I should have gone way earlier because my pile of issues were huge even before I lost it. I was forced to go when I lost my leg, because even then I was convinced I didn’t need help. Because going to therapy is the weakest thing a man can do. That’s what I heard on repeat in my head when I was being wheeled into her office a month after the truck had exploded with me in it. It was his voice saying, “You’re weak Alex, you’re weak” over and over again…”

Kyle doesn’t say anything, Alex has turned his head away, staring in the opposite wall so he doesn’t have to look at Kyle’s face. 

But…

He does take Kyle’s offer up on support and grabs his hand on the couch in reassurance. Kyle grips it tightly and Alex continues.

“We didn’t really talk too much about my life before the Air Force. She was a good therapist, she really was but I wasn’t really there to unpack the trauma of having all my self worth being beaten out of me by my father, so we didn’t. Which is why, now that I’m back here that the things that happened before I enlisted have just been pushed away and undealt with for years. Which is not the ideal way of dealing with issues. They are all just being dragged back up again and I keep going in circles around it. So sleeping with Maria and Michael really wasn’t the solution to anything, but I’m not sure it made anything worse either.”

Kyle grasps his hand again encouraging him to go on. 

“Michael’s the only person I’ve ever had any sort of relationship with, the only person I’ve ever really wanted to be with too but when we met I was young and the issues had only just begun. Michael had his own set of problems too and while I am definitely guilty in how things went down between us then and now I still even now, I just…”

He starts scratching at a loose thread on the sofa, just to have something to do. 

“Love always comes with some sort of conditions. That’s all thanks to my dad… I can’t escape the feeling of every time I let myself be vulnerable something is going to happen that ruins it. That I’m not good enough or that I’m not loveable because I am who I am… I don’t like myself at times because my dad drilled that into me, that I am unlovable, and if I don’t love myself how is anyone else supposed to? I never feel secure either, in myself or any partner. It’s just a big mess tangled together.”

Alex takes breath and bites down the tears. Even talking about it is really hard for him. 

“I love Maria as a friend, but I guess she’s just had this ability to make me feel safe where no one else has, not even Michael. And it isn’t Michael’s fault really, because he didn’t know what I needed, how could he? I didn’t even know at the time… I just know that after what happened between us that it’s time to move on, move forward and demand better for myself. I just want more than what I’ve been given before…”

“Wow, I really should have brought alcohol shouldn’t I?”

Alex chuckles watery and looks over at Kyle who looks like he’s been hiding his own tears.

Ugh, not really how he planned for this day to go. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to put all that on you.” He clears his throat in embarrassment.

Kyle looks annoyed and pulls on Alex’s arm. He doesn’t understand but moves closer to Kyle. When he’s close enough Kyle wraps his arms around him and Alex is stunned into silence.

“Don’t ever apologize to me Alex. Especially not for something like this, okay?”

Alex nods silently and for a moment allows himself be held. After a while he distangles himself and moves away. Kyle lets him. 

“So, are you and Michael over then, for good?”

Alex takes a long moment before he replies.

“I always had this idea that we would end up together, but after everything I honestly don’t know any more. If I live long enough then maybe yeah in the future. But not for a while. I need some time to figure out who I am.”

“Okay, well even so, even after what you and Michael have been through, however bad it was at times it would make some sense too if you wanted to give yourself some time to mourn him and whatever you had together. If you don’t then that hole in your chest might just expand forever.” He says softly. Alex gulps and sighs, refusing to cry again.

“Y-yeah.”

They’re both quiet for a while, Alex just sitting with what he’s come to terms with.

“So, more Star Wars?” Alex nods and jumps on the distraction Kyle offers. He opens up a package of Maryland cookies and munches them down.

All this food is looking more and more like comfort food to him.

…….

Two films later Kyle is laying on the floor, crumbs on his chest and his head in his phone trying to figure out tiktok dances. Alex has taken up the whole couch and he feels drunk. He probably is going through a sugar high because his whole body is buzzing with energy.

“I can’t remember the last time I had this much sugar.” He groans and eats an M&M.

“Me neither.” Kyle is definitely looking way to concentrated on that tiktok thing.

“Kyle you’re almost thirty, are you sure there isn’t an age limit on the app?”

“Shut up.” Kyle mutters but puts the phone down. Alex snort and throws some popcorn at him.

“Do you have any food around?” 

Alex shrugs, he has no clue. Kyle groans but gets up and walks into the kitchen. He’s wearing a pair of Alex’s sweatpants that are way too small for him, but the day spent eating just junk food, the jeans he arrived in had long gone been discarded of. Kyle bangs about in the kitchen for a while and Alex doesn’t move because he’s kind of comfortable where he is.

“You have pizza, that will do.” Kyle declares and comes back out with the stack of DVDs that had been left in there earlier.

“So you pick something. I need something other than the force, lightsabers and aliens. I feel like we should both be done with aliens for the night.”

“Then why did you bring Infinity War?”

“What? I like that film.”

“God who are you?”

“What? It’s really good, also Captain America is inspiring.”

“Patriotism and steroids your thing Valenti?”

“Funny, no, well you know what he’s actually pretty hot and he’s workout routine is impressive as hell.”

“Honestly, I’m more into Robert Downey JR. and that man is over 50.” Alex quips back. Kyle looks thoughtful.

“Nah, still digging Chris Evans more.”

“I mean blondes were never my type.”

“Yeah that much is clear.” Kyle snorts. Alex throws some more popcorn at him and Kyle whacks him with a pillow.

They end up watching Legally Blonde instead and this is definitely one of the strangest days Alex’s ever had. But it’s also kind of the best ones he’s ever had too, not that he’s letting Kyle know that of course.

It gets late, way after 2am and Alex is not cruel enough that he is going to let Kyle drive home at that time.

“Okay, I’ll stay but I am taking the couch.” Kyle says. Alex scoffs.

“Don’t be ridiculous, this couch is really uncomfortable, it will mess up your posture for sure.” Kyle eyes it suspiciously.

“My bed is big enough for two.”

“Are you sure?” Kyle looks uncertain.

“I’m sure.” Alex says reassuringly. 

So, they end up sharing a bed just like they used to do when they were kids and things were good and normal between them. Also Alex’s bed is definitely big enough for the two of them. He invested in this bed when he decided to stay here long term. He’s spent too many years of his life sleeping in uncomfortable beds that he’s done with that forever. So he had splashed out on this because he deserved it. And he was nearing 30, his back definitely deserved it.

“This reminds me of us as kids.” Kyle says later when they are comfortable. Ales chuckles.

“Yeah same, I hope you’re not still a snorer.”

“I haven’t snored a day in my life.”

“That’s definitely a lie and you know it.”

Kyle laughs and fake snores. Alex snorts at the ridiculousness of it all.

He falls asleep feeling a little better though.

……..

At 4:30 am they are abruptly woken up by someone knocking on his door.

“What the fuck?!” Kyle groans. Alex doesn’t even turn over, instead he starts poking Kyle’s arm. He refuses to get up. Kyle groans some more but after a while he gives in and leaves.

Alex is so tired he doesn’t even listen for who it is. That’s a mistake.

The person who has decided to come disturb him at this god forsaken hour appears to be Isobel, and her voice is loud. 

“Oh my god Kyle, you left the bar a changed man I see. I can’t believe you slept with Alex.”

Alex sits up immediately, as quick as he can with just his one leg and pulls the duvet up to cover himself. Her eyes trail over him and Alex brains clicks into action because that’s definitely what this looks like to an outsider. Kyle comes running in, his hair a mess, shirtless and still looking half asleep.

“That’s definitely not what happened.” He says, Isobel narrows her eyes.

“Well it’s not really any of my business. I hope you used protection.” She sits down on the bed and Alex doesn’t understand what is happening because Isobel and him are definitely not close, and for her to sit down on the bed like she knows him is strange as hell. 

“What are you doing here Isobel?” He asks.

“Oh, well we’ve been trying to get in contact with both of you for hours, but none of you have been replying. You usually answer when Michael or Maria calls but you dodged those too, which is strange but whatever.”

Alex honestly doesn’t even know where his phone is, he hadn’t looked at it all day yesterday, so he definitely has no clue what has been going on in the life of people outside this house.

“But after everything that happened I felt like being nice and charitable and drive all the way over here. I also thought you’d be up by now Captain, doesn’t your day start at 5 normally?”

Normally yeah, he might be up by this time, but not when he’s consumed his own weight in sugar and gone to bed late while dealing with things, then he doesn’t.

“So I’m charity now?” He says instead.

“Something like that, come on let’s get going. Chop Chop.”

“What happened?” Kyle asks.

“Max remembers something, from a dream maybe. Alarming things, so come one. I’ll buy you two coffee on the way there.” 

She blows a kiss at Kyle and leaves the room. Kyle gives him a look at Alex sighs.

Yep, no rest in Roswell, that’s for sure.

[blookmallow]

looking at the Get Out script and my script site has again somehow obtained a strange, COMPLETELY DIFFERENT early version of the script 

( note: im white, my interpretation of this movie and the changes that were made are coming from a white perspective, this is not my subject to speak on and if im off on anything/reading it wrong by all means let me know!! )

theres this whole conversation (with like. i think its just a random family being shown alongside andre’s kidnapping) about mickey mouse mascots at disneyworld being “Always Happy :)”/”someone else on the inside” foreshadowing the twist later which i guess was probably ultimately deemed unnecessary or might’ve made disney angry lmao but its. something 

i think it was a white family ignoring/completely oblivious to the black man suffering right outside on their lawn too which was a good parallel though

also had this weird thing where the kidnapper’s car had a french tutorial going in it which caused this great juxtoposition but im not sure why this was here 

i dont remember this line, it might’ve been cut but apparently rose works at a hospital (or originally was going to, at least) 

i dont remember enough about the crucible to say what double meanings there are here (i was a lit major... the shame...) but theres also a line about rose being good at acting/There’s A Lot You Don’t Know

i like these little hints but i feel like removing them and making it less obvious was a good call all the same 

originally rose doesn’t pretend she didn’t know about the gathering and just goes “what, i told you :/” i think having her pretend to be just as shocked and “omg you GUYS no WAY” at her parents is a lot more effective at making us (and chris) think she’s on his side 

i dont remember this if it did make it to the final cut but rose mentions her mom also used hypnosis on her, kind of giving an implied sense that she might have been manipulated into this too but it isnt brought up again

one of the biggest changes is andre/”logan” was originally in a gay relationship, and like... on the one hand, there’s a particular horror in being forced into a relationship with someone outside your sexuality but this definitely reads very... predatory homosexuality/”they made him be GAY” as an Especially Scary Thing, whereas having him with an older woman instead flips over the “predatory black man/innocent defenseless white woman” stereotype in a much more effective way (which they also did with chris and rose) 

it would’ve been... more fitting with the themes to have andre be a gay man who is forced into compulsory heterosexuality if they were gonna go that route but i think the way its done in the final cut is done better than. this 

still pretty weird to me how docile and obedient “logan” is given that he’s presumably phil’s white husband in a stolen body though / same deal with the lady hes married to in the final film 

rose puts up a lot more resistance when chris wants to leave, she comes around eventually but she definitely is way less “I’m on your side, babe! :)” than she ended up being in the final cut, which i think is definitely for the better

i suspected from the beginning she probably wasnt trustworthy either but they did a way better job making the twist less blatant/we dont really know for sure if she’s in on it too yet 

she also randomly brings up the fact that she Might Be Pregnant, which is never mentioned again, im guessing probably another tactic to get him to stay since she thinks he’s trying to break up with her when he wants to leave 

if this got into the final cut i didnt catch it but we can probably assume it happened either way, the guy rose’s grandfather took over was one of her victim boyfriends which is REALLY fucked up 

another big change is that jeremy and rose’s positions are switched in the final confrontation, rose is the one who comes for chris for the procedure, and he kills her there, while jeremy is the one who comes after him later with the shotgun and gets shot by walter 

i think it hits much harder and feels much better from a narrative standpoint to have the confrontation with rose be the end, she’s the one he loved, she’s the one whose betrayal hurts the worst, she’s the one responsible for dragging him into this shit and him being forced to choke her to death is so hard to watch and such a huge moment i think it deserved to be the final showdown 

jeremy also is visibly distraught over georgina/his grandmother’s death, while i think its way creepier having rose stoically acknowledge it with no emotion

i know this wasnt supposed to be funny but i m laughinG 

last big thing is that it WAS actually the cops at the end originally, the whole last second bait and switch wave of flooding relief as we realize its ROD isnt there, chris actually gets arrested 

and like.... while the “and none of it even matters, he won, but of course the system is still going to favor the rich white family, no one’s going to believe him, he’s still ending up being blamed for this because in a black man’s story the arrival of the police does not in any way mean rescue” is also a strong point, i think having that “oh fuck oh FUCK” moment at the end where we realize what’s coming but then it turns out he’s SAVED, as a kind of “and that’s why we stick up for each other” message is so fuckign good and we want to see him win SO BAD

so many horror movies seem to think they Have to go with the hopeless “nobody wins” ending but the fact that this was in here and jordan peele made the decision to let his hero get his freedom back and GO HOME after all the shit he’s been through is like. i dont know, refreshing? i love jordan peele’s storytelling and im so glad for this change  

its such a weird ending too because he doesnt even seem like he cares. he’s done fighting. hes just like nah, man, it’s over, don’t worry about it. he’s not interested in justice or exposing whats been happening, he’s not worried it’ll start again (the armitages are all dead at this point but like, there were a lot of people at that party, this could happen again) he’s just. over it. which, yeah, after going through all that, i get it, but it feels. weird, somehow. and the thing with the song is referencing an earlier also-deleted scene where chris is forced to listen to that song over and over as a way of binding him to the white guy who’s trying to bodyswap him bc its his “favorite song” or something

so like. why is he still whistling that. it feels like a “he got out alive, but they still got in his head and he’s giving in and not fighting back anymore all the same” which!! i dont like that!! i dont know 

[douxreviews]

Legends of Tomorrow - ‘Hey, World!’ Review

"Yeah, this innocent moment where kids aren’t afraid? It’s resonating with people."

I'm not crying. You're crying.

Apologies, this is a long one. I had a lot to process.

So, that was season four of Legends of Tomorrow, that was.

I've been wrestling with how I feel about this one for a few days longer than I wanted to due to an internet outage, and I'm still not entirely sure, outside of the fact that it absolutely made me cry at least twice.

I think, ultimately, the season four finale felt much less focused and more sprawling that last year's 'The Good, The Bad, and The Cuddly.'  That's not necessarily a bad thing. 'I'm not sure where they're going with this' is one of the holy grails as far as audience responses go, but only if you're also communicating the impression that you, the showrunner, do.

It might be useful to compare this year's finale with last year's in terms of one specific aspect. Specifically, how they both used the various plot coupons from the earlier episodes of the season as plot elements in the season's resolution. In season three, the main 'phlebotinums' of the season were the six totems, and of course Beebo. The season was structured around introducing those seven items, and then showing us how they could be combined correctly to resolve the season's villain. And it involved a giant stuffed animal on demon ninja fight, which was awesome.

The fact that it was the combination of those earlier plot coupons that resolved the issue made that resolution feel nicely focused and the natural ending for the season. And further, because they had the solid structural underpinning they also could also bring back Helen of Troy, and Blackbeard, and a random Viking or two for a fun callback. They had already demonstrated that the callback references to previous episodes were there for a justifiable purpose, which meant that they could throw a few frivolous ones in without hurting anything.

This season's callbacks felt much less structured and integral to the final resolution, and so they felt a little more gratuitous.

This kind of dovetails into the real problem this episode has, and it's one that you might have heard me mention before. Sing along in the back if you know the words; This should have been three episodes.

Because what the show was clearly interested in getting to was the big final showdown between the abstract power of fear and the abstract power of love. Which is great, and once they got there was fabulous. I swear I'll get around to saying positive things in a minute or two. Everything after Nate creates the circus using the book from 'Tagumo Attacks!!!' is paced perfectly. The eventual sacrifices were both foreshadowed to the exact right degree and were staggered with precision, the onset of Zari's tragedy coming right where it should at the moment we'd begun to exhale after Nate's resurrection. However, that good pacing comes in at about halfway through the episode's runtime, prior to which we'd been sprinting flat out to get all of the pieces in place for the final confrontation as quickly as we possibly can.

So, in the space of the first few minutes we go from Neron wanting to rule Hell as his motive to Neron wanting to collect fear, which kind of undercuts the clever terms of service reveal last week, but whatever. Then he apparently overthrows the Triumvirate anyway during the commercial break, as John speaks of it to Astra as a fait accompli. Then he doesn't want the fear itself, per se, but wants to use it to open a gateway to Hell so that they can come here for him to rule.

That feels like three solid end of episode reveals that we could have been wowed by over the course of three individual episodes. Because the evolution of his plan doesn't not make sense, if you follow me, it just evolves way, way too quickly to track well, and clearly only matters to get that final pit opening scene in the circus properly set up.

And hey, on that note, one of those three episodes could have been the 'Mick stealing the book of Brigid back from the Time Bureau' story that we were robbed of here. Honestly, they literally cut from Ava saying 'That will be super hard to steal' to Mick walking in holding the book saying, 'No, I totes already stole it, lets move on with the plotline.' That's just profoundly lazy plotting, and I get that it wasn't their fault, and that they didn't have any choice because the reduced episode count was never going to allow time for 'Mick-sion Impossible,' but it jars badly in context. And damn it, I totally just gave them the perfect episode title for it. I demand that they film it and include it as a DVD extra.

It honestly feels like they zipped through the first half of plot mechanics at least partially because they wanted to invest a lot of time setting up season five and it came at the expense of the season four wrap up. I specifically refer to the whole thing with the soul token/coin thing. As the episode was unfolding it felt like they were spending a lot of screen time setting up the mechanics of Hell's soul exchange which could have been time better spent telling the story at hand. At the conclusion, of course, we get the reveal of Astra and her menagerie of stolen coins, setting her and them up as the villains of next season. Which is, to be fair, a cool premise. Notice that we only saw a handful of the names on those coins, which means they can still turn out to be just about anyone. Dare I hope that the name Damien Darhk turns out to be on one of them?

Okay. We've danced around it long enough. Let's talk about Zari. First off, a big acknowledgement of how wrong I was in my review of the last episode where I mentioned that they were probably never going to get around to addressing the whole future dystopia thing. No, turns out that they were going to use its resolution as one of the foundations of season five. I should have had more faith. Second, a big shout out to percysowner, who opined in the comments thread last week that perhaps Zari would imprint on the dragon and that would undo the future dystopia. If you're reading this, percysowner, I publicly acknowledge that you read that situation much better than I did.

I genuinely thought they were killing off both Zari and Nate, I honestly did. I clocked the Nate/Constantine swap exactly when the show wanted me to, which was a satisfying and heartbreaking payoff to the Neron situation. It worked because Nate sacrificing himself and John telling Nate about the deal so that he would make the choice to do so is just so entirely on brand for both of them.

Also on brand; Zari leaving the safety of the ship to be with Nate when he died. Their final embrace before she faded away was a truly heartbreaking moment. I totally take back my earlier misgivings about their relationship. Similarly touching, Nate's farewell conversation with Hank in the rafters. I'm on record as not being a huge fan of Hank, but setting that aside, the callback to his James Taylor moment was well judged here, and I'm happy for Nate that he got that little bit of closure. Oh, and that he gets to still be alive.

So, Zari is out there somewhere living her life never having met the Legends, and in her place we have her brother Berhad, which explains why they went to such extraordinary lengths to get rid of the necklace earlier and turn it into a manly fitbit of power.

One parting thought on this change, as heartbreaking as it feels right now. Zari as we know her has left the show, but Tala Ashe has not. Apparently the Zari they find next season is going to be very different. And let's not forget that we're only a few months away from Crisis on Infinite Earths, in which all of reality is going to be put through a meat grinder and reformed on the other side. I have to believe we haven't seen the last of Zari.

Caity Lotz' impression of Melissa Benoist - Hysterical, and just a little bit mean.

Everybody remember where we parked.

This week we were all about Washington D.C in 2019 and Hell. Assuming that those are in fact two different places.

Insert drum snare.

Quotes:

Ogre: "Ha ha! Ogre wins again!" Mick: "Cheating bastard!"

Calibraxis: "Who the hell are you?" Nora: "Really? The dress doesn’t sell it?"

Nate: "I would have said ‘Zari, Zari, you smell like calamari’. … Bullying is bad."

Astra: "Nice sparkles." Nora: "Nice shoulderpads."

Ne-Ray: "We will make Earth Hell again." Subtle, show.

Mona: "Stay calm, they smell fear." Gary: "What if fear is my natural scent?"

Mick: "Give it back when you’re done. Buck and Garima’s sexual odyssey is far from over."

Zari: "Guys, I feel like that would have worked a little bit better with the real trinity." Sara: "Yeah, well, I asked and they said hard pass." Nate: "We should have done the crossover."

Vandal Savage: "Oh, I love those groovy guys."

Bits and Pieces:

-- It's a little hard to believe that all the magical creatures are down with behaving themselves now. Mike the Spike inside the puppet Stein was a serial killer, after all.

-- Also, is it just me or did the Legends just let all of the magical creatures just sort of wander off between the show and the dragon battle? Are we just not worried about them anymore?

-- It makes sense idiomatically in the US, but John Constantine wouldn't have phrased Nora using her fairy powers to get into the demon vault as 'poofing her way in.' That would mean something very different in the UK, and kind of implies that she'd somehow be getting into the vault through the magic of gay sex. Which is magical, sure, but not in a way that would be helpful in this situation. I don't know, maybe he was just going for an oblique 'fairy' joke.

-- It was fun seeing Vandal Savage and Ray bonding over Jenga, but again I kind of wonder if that wouldn't have been time better spent elsewhere.

-- It was a bad idea to bait and switch people into coming to Heyworld thinking it would be all about superheroes. I wish they'd handled that a little better.

-- Why did Mithra the dragon, who sadly never got to know the name Wixstable, turn back into a baby after eating Tabitha?

-- Nora and Gary now have the same kind of power symbiosis that Jax and Stein had, when you think about it.

-- I like them, I enjoy Wolfie, and I've enjoyed most of their plotlines this year, but it wouldn't break my heart if Mona and Gary had transferred to the Cleveland branch before the beginning of next season. We just have too many people. That's one of the reasons I believed they'd killed Nate.

-- We're all on the same page that only Mick, Sara, and Ray are non-negotiable members of the team, right? Like, I'd miss Nate, but I'd get over it.

-- How famous is Ray Palmer, exactly? Last year he was obscure enough to be working at Upswipes, and now he's working senate sub-committee hearings.

-- Lovely little cameo by The Monitor, just chilling back and eating popcorn at Heyworld.  That's a little less momentous than his other finale appearances, but it was a nice reminder that the Crisis is looming.  Also, it was funny.

Magical creatures?  Oh, I'm sure they'll be fine.

A big, sprawling season finale with lots of good bits and a little less focus and time to breath than it could have used. That kind of sums up season four as a whole, actually.

Three out of four James Taylor sing-a-longs.

And that brings us to the end of another Legends season. It's been a blast as always, see you all in the fall, when I hopefully will not have two other shows also running at the same time that the Waverider takes off.

Mikey Heinrich is, among other things, a freelance writer, volunteer firefighter, and roughly 78% water.

[momestuck]

Let’s read Hiveswap Friendsim - volume 10!

We’re over the halfway mark. Nineteen friends. This time, Of Faraway Lands and Nearby Pals.

Our trolls are going to be...

These two.

Incidentally, I haven’t commented, but every troll select screen has a different drawing when you mouseover the troll. Usually they’re just the same troll with a light shining on them, looking more enthusiastic, but you gotta see Tegiri’s one...

In addition to the Jojo-like art style, that’s the katakana character ゴ ‘go’ repeated. For some reason, katakana is commonly used over hiragana for sound effects in manga, such as laughter. So yeah. We’ve finally found the mall katana guy mentioned waaaaay back in Polypa’s route!

Oddly, while ‘Tegiri’ would be valid romaji (although not, I checked, on lists of Japanese names I could find... I wouldn’t want to guess at a pseudo-’translation’, there’s a few possibilities), ‘Kalbur’ is decidedly not, and would be turned into something like ‘karuburu’ if it was transliterated into Japanese. That might be significant...

But that’s as far as my rudimentary Japanese knowledge can take me. We’ll come back to Tegiri shortly. First of all, it’s...

...beloved The Magic Roundabout character, Zebedee!

I really hope that’s not a coincidence.

Zebede

Zebede is the third and final troll by Magdalena Clarke, author of Vikare and Elwurd. Well, I enjoyed Elwurd, so that’s a good sign... hopefully...

This begins with getting a chittr notification. God, push notifications, am I right?

The name suggests we’re going to deal with the bees that made Sollux’s ‘mind honey’, granting goldbloods fantastic powers. (The game seems to have decisively chosen ‘gold’ rather than ‘yellow’, so I will defer to this.)

Who is this new friend? It seems to be someone who knows Cirava...

Their speech quirk seems to be using z in place of s, but not always.

Zebede invites us to download a video chat app...

Surprisingly, this does not result in our phone getting inducted into a botnet. Apparently the app we downloaded is called ‘grype’.

It’s weird to have so many Skype jokes given that Skype has pretty much given way to other messaging apps, at least in my experience...

He’s really excited to hear about how we know Cirava, and we tell him. He lets on rather unsubtly that he’s lonely and would appreciate a visit. Apparently he lives a long way out, for the sake of the bees.

We get our first choice...

Honestly no idea which one is the instant death option here. Probably asking if it’s really fine, but the ways we die are so random in this game, who knows?

Let’s go with asking where he lives.

We mention we went out to visit Skylla in the countryside, which leads him to... more self-deprecation. Wow, this guy sure is insecure.

And he decides like... we’re not really interested in visiting him. ‘A wall has been raised’, as the game puts it.

Dude, no wonder you don’t have friends.

OK, well, that was a short branch. Let’s try asking about his living situation and his lusus, whether it’s really fine.

Ah yes, play on his feelings of resentment. Get him to complain and wheedle in that way. That’s our narrator.

This guy’s face is so... pointy... I don’t have much commentary to add.

This leads us to a non-choice of saying we’ll go visit him immediately. This seems like a really healthy, non-manipulative friendship we’ve got going on here.

Apparently Zebede’s got some of whatever concentrated loneliness and fetishisation of friendship our narrator is suffering.

The narrator goes through a few friends to try and figure out who to get a lift from... and after rejecting Tagora, Amisia, Zebruh (oh god no), taxis and public transport, they decide the only option is to do crimes. Hey, I can get behind it.

By crimes they mean, finding an unlocked car and nicking it. Unlike Konyyl, they can’t punch locks off.

Apparently we know how to turn on the auto-pilot in a troll car. Not sure when we figured that one out!

Fittingly, Zebede’s hive is full of bees.

Inside, too, it’s a nice rustic bee farm.

We get a text message from... Cirava, it turns out. I wonder what they want...

We have the choice of ignoring it or letting it go to voicemail. Wow, we’re getting a lot of phone calls in this episode! Let’s try chatting with Cirava, maybe we can invite them over and all chill here...

It’s nice to see Cirava again. The protagonist’s weird obsession with collecting more friends instead of spending time with the ones they’ve made is highlighted...

What’s up with that?

The matter of Cirava’s clothes comes up.

Oh right so that’s what happened to Cirava’s clothes... I honestly forgot.

Anyway, Cirava’s a little worried when we say we’re hanging out with Zebede, who they know by chittr handle if not by name. They are worried that we’re tight, and we say we’re working on it.

Called out!

Anyway, Cirava warns us about getting too close to Zebede, and links... his fanfiction. OK, sure. It turns out to be... RPF. Of Cirava.

Oh dear, we’re gonna get into the RPF discourse in this episode, huh? That is something I generally want to stay a long way away from.

Anyway, Zebede comes back while we’re reading one of his fics.

That sure is an expression.

Anyway, when we explain that Cirava linked this, Zebede decides we’re not prioritising him after all, and clearly Cirava is more important than him.

I’m really not sure we want to be this guy’s friend.

He breaks down crying at the perceived slight of mentioning that we have other friends.

The protagonist starts feeling like a dick. There’s a poke at the blurry line between inner monologue and spoken dialogue on the protagonist’s part...

But anyway, that’s that for Zebede’s route.

So, how do we actually befriend this guy? Trick seems to be to pretend we care about literally nothing other than him, I guess. So let’s go back and ignore Cirava’s grype call.

Instead of answering the call, we work on our chittr profile. God, that’s hard enough irl, let alone when you’re on an alien planet...

So, we assure Zebede that we weren’t about to take a call in the middle of a hang sesh, and he starts showing us some pirate films. Then, switches to space pirate films. Poor guy’s really thrown for a loop by our indecisiveness.

The narrator is sympathetic, but unhelpful. Honestly narrator, just pick something. Fake some enthusiasm. If you really want to be friends with this kid...

We suggest watching the last thing he watched on grubtube. Which... seems like a shitty suggestion to me, since like, if it’s the last thing you watched...

But to Zebede, that seems to be something much worse.

You promise you absolutely won’t judge him. We may regret this.

Mostly, it turns out to be videos of Cirava. Yeah, we get it, he’s got a crush.

He shows us some music videos of a group called hatched2dance. I’m guessing this is a KPop (or perhaps JPop) parody, especially given the whole RPF angle...

Honestly like I probably couldn’t stand this guy in real life but I have some sympathies for his whole awkward gay teenager reading fic thing.

Anyway, seeing themselves reflected in Zebede prompts some reflection in the narrator.

The narrator has kind of a freakout on realising how offputting they’ve been - that they’ve been ‘a big phony’.

We’re saved from an existential crisis by someone showing up to reclaim their scuttlebuggy.

The narrator decides they should probably go out and face the music before this troll carves their way into the hive. This wins over Zebede even harder.

We learn that Zebede’s psychic power is... controlling bees. Using the bees, they drive off the troll outside.

And so we chill with Zebede, and the protagonist takes notes on ‘not being such a desperate piece of shit’.

We’ll see if this whole change of heart actually lasts.

The Alternian text in the picture says ‘ALTERNIA K-POP ALL-STARS’ in the Hiveswap version of the alphabet. Just in case you had any doubt what videos he’s into.

Tegiri

And now... time for things to get anime. This is the debut of David Turnbull.

The protagonist notices the edges of sunrise, and concludes they need to make a friend before daybreak. At that moment, someone accosts them.

Tegiri also gets chiptunes, in common with our other anime troll. I think it’s a remix of one of the tracks elsewhere in Homestuck. But it could easily fit in with a genuine 8-bit game.

Reassuringly, Tegiri concludes that since we’re an alien not a troll, he doesn’t have to cull us.

His typing quirk is that he replaces the letter ‘L’ with slashes.

And his character trait is, sure enough...

HUGE WEEB. Though, glass houses, stones, etc....

Naturally, the initial instant death choice is...

Unusually, we get three choices.

I can assert with 100% confidence that if I click anything other than ‘subs’, I will be executed by katana. So let’s try... both are good.

He casts us out for our indecisiveness.

The Alternian text here reads ‘PATHETIC.’ The drawing here recalls a particular anime meme... after some digging I was able to identify it as a screencap of Asuka from eva:

Think this is probably from End of Evangelion? But I can’t really recall.

...god I’m not helping my case for not being as much a weeb as Tegiri here, am I?

OK, let’s try subs now.

...lol, I’m wrong. He prefers dubs. What kind of weeb is this guy?

However, even though we’re wrong on the Most Important Question, we get to come back to his hive.

We can see body pillows around his recuperacoon, an improbable number of katanas, a bunch of figurines... the text above his bed says OPPAI, which is, well... Japanese for boobs. Yeah.

If you look closely at the anime figurines, I’m sure you can identify a few.

But except for Luffy in top right, I’m not sure about the rest. Someone who knows more about anime, feel free to fill me in. Bottom right might be a machine lifeform from NieR Automata, but that seems too recent, and wouldn’t 2B be a more in-character one for him to have?

Anyway...

I like how this casually assumes that the reader knows what an otaku is, but then again who reads Homestuck without knowing that I guess.

The narration says Tegiri has sorted his merch by blood colour, which is like... contradicted by the illustration which clearly has a bronzeblood troll at the top, but who cares I guess.

This guy is just too quotable lol.

Anyway, we get to meet a lusus again. This time, the lusus is actually drawn, not just a filtered stock photo!

It’s also mildly terrifying :D

It’s called Tadashi Inu, which means... well it kind of doesn’t mean anything (‘however dog’???), but if it was Tadashii Inu, it would mean Correct Dog.

Anyway, naturally what does an anime club do but watch anime?

He’s presently in the middle of watching ‘Philosopher’s Half-Iron’, which I’m guessing is a joke about Fullmetal Alchemist? Instead, he proposes Schoolfed Heroism (BNHA maybe?) and Kismet:Stuck Morning (no guesses for this one... I’m a fake weeb).

It’s also interesting that we’re watching on DVDs. If they wanted to go full weeb, they could put in fansub jokes here... but then this guy prefers dubs to subs, so maybe he likes to buy official releases.

Naturally, we run into translation issues.

He wanted the first edition and ‘paid extra for it’. So rather than enjoy the rest of the episode, we set off to have a word with the importer...

I have to ask... how does the troll economy work? There’s hints at a capitalist economy, money is mentioned and we had the guy running the club just now, but none of the trolls seem to have jobs. They seem to just get issued money according to their blood colour?

Speaking of which, we get some comments on troll retail...

So yeah, we’re gonna find another weeb I guess.

If that’s the billboard in the background, it's too small and blurry to work out what it says, unfortunately.

He seems pretty opposed to any ‘rebel sentiments’. Which of course he discusses with the weebiest metaphors. Alternia balances on...

He goes on about katanas for a while, like he’s going down a checklist of orientalist tropes. Naturally it’s a prelude to a challenge to ‘dance’.

We say swords are cool and this gets a little rant about bushido. You know, that self-serving horseshit some guy in the late 1800s fabricated as nationalist mythology...

We arrive at the anime store.

More text to transcribe, oh joy. At the top of the store it says the name of the shop, mentioned in dialogue, ‘SUPER TOPATO IMPORTS’. Above the door behind the counter it says ‘EMPLOYEES ONLY’.  On the bookshelf full of manga it says something too squished to easily read.

Anyway, we’re having a look around, but Tegiri starts kicking up a stink.

It’s basically the navy seal copypasta, slightly modified to be more trollish.

Meanwhile we’ve accidentally knocked some anime and manga out of someone’s hand.

Still not getting these references, unfortunately.

The troll with a pink sign is apparently against troll law - ‘depiction of nonstandard hemological attributes’.

This is all going over my head at this point. The references, I mean. Obviously the text - that Tegiri is an entitled douchebag - is clear enough.

Oh, this one I get - Ace Attorney, of course.

Anyway, this is where we get a choice. Do we stop Tegiri straight up murdering someone for peddling the wrong kind of anime?

Obviously we will try. Even though this seems like a great way to end up dead ourselves.

We speak up for the shopkeeper, and manage to convince Tegiri not to straight-up kill him. This leads to... a story, of a previous time he showed mercy, in contradiction to the law.

Of course, we know who this baby - who should have been culled for lacking a lusus, by troll law - would have been. God, I’d sure rather be hanging out with Polypa than this guy.

The narrator, of course, has one thing on their mind...

We suggest that the law, and what is right, are maybe not the same thing...?

The hard decisions such as ‘do I murder this baby?’

The narrator decides they know something about bad ways to manage loneliness...

The narrator manages to divert his rant by asking about his eyes. Which are... any guesses? Contact lenses. For cosplay.

Before we can make the error of accusing him of breaking the law by cosplaying a nonexistent blood caste, who should show up but...

Oh thank god. Save us, Polypa.

Of course he says 何 nani instead of ‘what’. And as for 後輩 kōhai, that’s basically the counterpart to senpai, the junior partner in an informal hierarchy within an organisation, dictating the use of certain honorifics. If my reading of the wiki article is right, he’s using it quite incorrectly.

Polypa lets on that we’re moirails. This causes Tegiri to be a little taken aback. The narration has some fun.

Tegiri claims - despite his huge stack of body pillows and figurines - that he has no time for quadrants.

‘Were it not for the laws of this land’ is most commonly associated with a meme from a Ghanaian film, not anime, but the sentiment surely fits.

Polypa tries to talk some sense into him.

So we end up doing an anime sleepover...

The dog is saying ワンワン (wanwan), which is standard Japanese onomatopoeia for a dog barking.

The text in this screen says... ‘Ore wa kaizoku-ou ni naru otoko da!’, which is a One Piece reference, meaning ‘I'm the man who will be the pirate king!’.

So, Tegiri may be insufferable, but at least with Polypa around we can keep him more or less under control.

There’s a few more options to explore. What if we’d picked dubs, not subs, near the start? He praises our choice, but otherwise, the story proceeds in the same way. I think that’s actually the first time we’ve had branches merge.

Now, what if we let him kill the shopkeeper?

Shockingly, he’s not as much a swordsman as he makes out. And the shopkeeper, it turns out, is psychic, and zaps him before legging it.

I was under the impression that psychic abilities were rare in goldbloods, but what do I know?

We ask like... was that really necessary?

Well, he’s certainly a tool, he got that part right. (Sorry.)

We go to report the shopkeeper’s terrible crimes to the drone, but unfortunately... it seems that the protagonist has a rap sheet themselves!

They can’t pin it on us! We’re innocent!

God, the ‘everything happened’ approach to continuity is still fucking with me. Did we make friends with Remele? Did we not? Earlier, the narration mentioned making ‘between 1 and 19′ friends. What if someone didn’t obsessively explore and replay every branch? They’d be so confused!

But despite his ineptitude with a sword, our attempted escape over an overpass leaves us...

Dead.

I’m sure this shot is also an allusion to an anime meme, but I can’t say which one, so yeah.

That’s Zebede and Tegiri. Not the best friends we’ve made, but I enjoyed the chance to be a huggggeee neeeerrrd in this post. (>implying that I could be anything other than a huge nerd on my homestuck liveread blog)

[ratandphilgames]

Our Lives Don’t Collide

{chapter one: out of the closet}

summary: Shit hits the fan when famous actor!Phil is caught smooching a boy in an alleyway. Only problem? He’s not out and what's worse? The boy he was smooching was a journalist who set it all up to get a quick picture and now Phil is royally screwed. The only answer Phils management can come up with is a fake relationship to try and do damage control and famous actor!Dan is the perfect candidate.

word count: 2585

rating: t 

note: thanks so much to @definitelynot-danielhowell for editing this fic and all the people in the writing gc who hyped me up enough to post this! I’m going to *try* updating every Thursday but bear with me as I get the hang of this. Thanks!

{read on ao3}

{next chapter}

-----

Nothing was meant to come of the night, he was just going drinking with some old uni friends and he wasn’t going to be famous actor Philip Lester for once. He was going to be fun, free, reckless Phil Lester. What he ended up being was a dumbass.

He’d been drunk. He’d been drunk and horny and lonely. It was a mistake for him to think he’d been safe, to assume he could go back to being that kid he was in uni just because all his old friends were around. He wasn’t the same kid he was in uni, now he was famous and he had little kids looking up to him and nobody knew he was gay. He couldn’t just do what he wanted anymore. The alcohol, however, made him think otherwise.

The moment Phil let his guard down, shit really hit the fan. He was drinking and when his university friends had to leave, he decided he had to stay. The night was still young, and Phil was determined to prove he was too.

He started talking to the cute guy that had been making eyes at him from across the bar. The guy didn’t mention seeing Phil in any movies and that was enough reassurance for Phil’s tipsy mind. Still, he wasn’t a complete idiot. He suggested that if anything were to continue they should move to the alleyway and a minute later that’s where they were. Making out.

Phil didn’t noticed the black SUV parked at the end of the alleyway, he was too focused on the task at hand. It wasn’t until he saw the flash of a camera that he realized he’d royally fucked up. In a split second there were several more bright-ass lights in his face, then the boy he was with fled to the car with the cameras, and it sped off.

It didn’t take a genius to realize Phil had been set up. Immediately he sobered up and processed everything that went down. The alley boy undoubtedly worked with the man driving the car and taking the pictures. He’d used Phil to get a quick buck from a scandalous picture. That shit sold for thousands.

Before another paparazzi could show up, Phil whipped out his phone and called a car to come get him. Where there was one of the clingy bastard, there would be more and Phil was not about to wait around for them to show up.

It wasn’t uncommon for journalists to go ‘undercover’ in attempts to get more information from celebrities, but it was a whole new level of low to trick Phil like that. The more he thought about it, the more red flags he saw surrounding the guy. His dumb alcohol induced brain just chose to ignore every single one of them.

By the time his car arrived, Phil was fighting back tears and trying desperately to figure out any sort of way he could salvage the situation, but nothing was coming to mind.

He needed to talk to his management team asap. They were good in these kinds of situations, they could help make everything right again.

With tears still in his eyes, he dialed his managers number into his phone and prayed to the gods that he would pick up at this hour.

Being caught with a boy attached to your lips wasn’t exactly easy to explain when you were seen as straight to the rest of the world, no matter if you never actually said you were straight.

Fuck. He really fucked this one up.

-----

Dan woke up  around 8am to the sound of a bell. Waves of confusion overcame him as he tried to find the source of the sound. He slammed his fist on the snooze button, attempting to turn off his alarm clock, but found it wasn’t on at all, as it shouldn’t be. He had absolutely no reason to be awake this early.

After an embarrassingly long time, he realized the sound was coming from his phone, hidden somewhere in his duvet. By the time he found the shiny box of magic, the noise had stopped and Dan realized that he had missed a call.

He gathered his thoughts for a moment and then checked his notifications.

One missed call: Shannon the momager

He was going to be in big trouble if he ignored Shannon. She’d been his manager since he had started his career and truth be told, she was like a second mom to him, hence the momager.

With a big, excessive sigh, (he was an actor after all, he had to dramatic) he clicked the call back button and sat up in bed. It was unlikely she was going to let him fall back asleep after this, so Dan figured he might as well get a headstart on waking up.

“Hey Shan, you called?” He yawned while speaking, so it came out far more slurred than intended.

“Yes, I did, lazybutt, I’m sending a car your way. There’s a big idea in the works and I need you to be here like, now. Like yesterday, actually. Sam’s waiting on you.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Dan wasn’t going to argue with her, despite the 8am call in, mostly because Sam was involved. Sam, his ‘agent’ only got involved if there was a movie opportunity, or some sort of contract that needed to be signed, because legally, Shannon couldn’t do that crap. That never stopped her from getting involved, though.

The last ‘Sam is involved so get your ass here fast’ call Dan had gotten was because the casting director for a new and upcoming film had loved him in his previous work and requested an audition with him personally.

That audition had resulted in Dan getting a huge supporting role in “Switch Hitter” a movie about a young baseball player juggling the fact that he likes boys… and girls. Equally as much. It was the bisexual representation Dan dreamed of, and he got to be a part of it. It had yet to be released, but there was a lot of talk of award season already, and it was set to do very well.  

When he first started out in the industry he faced a lot of biphobia. He’d been out since he was 14, and despite the quickly progressing world, a lot of people turned him down once they learned he identified as bisexual. It was tough, but eventually Dan ended up on Shannon’s doorstep, and she took him under her wing. She found him an agent, Sam, who worked his magic and got Dan some amazing auditions. He was only ever unapologetically himself and people loved it. He was a fast growing bicon, and quickly became a fan favorite.

As soon as the call with Shannon ended, Dan was scrambling around to find clothes and straighten his hair, something he probably wouldn’t have done on this particular day had he not gotten this wake up call. But he was going outside, which meant he needed to look perfectly presentable. There were people with cameras everywhere, meaning in even the short distance from his door to the car he would be photographed tens of times.

He was constantly aware of the scrutiny he would endure for every little thing he did when a camera was around. What he wore, how he walked, his posture, how his hair looked. Everything. It was a lot of pressure for a 22 year old mess.

By the time he was unplugging his straightener, there was a knock at the door meaning the car had arrived. He was sprinting around his room, looking for some kind of matching shoes (preferably black) and running low on time.

Dan managed to stumble to the front door of his unnecessarily large home with his phone in his hand and his shoes on his feet, which was a win in his book. Upon opening the door, he was met with the icy eyes of his bodyguard, Andreas, who seemed to dislike Dan on an impersonal level (and maybe on a personal level). The people pleaser in Dan tried to let it go, but sometimes it really stung.

“Ready?”

“Yeah… yeah.”

It was awkward, having someone walk you from your front door to a car not even 10 feet away, but there had been some incidents and having Andreas around, despite his frosty attitude, made Dan feel a bit safer.

Per usual, a few fellows were perched right behind the iron gate installed all around the property, itching to get a shot of Dan leaving his house.

Dan’s driveway was unnecessarily long, to try and discourage people (paparazzi) from driving down it so it took a solid 5 minutes before they were even on a real road. By the time they were pulling up to his agents office building, it had been a solid 30 minute drive of pure silence. Andreas wasn’t much of a talker.

By ‘here’ Dan had assumed Shannon meant her office, but the driver had taken him straight to Sam’s. Business was really going down today.

Andreas ushered Dan out of the car, thankfully few seemed to care about his existence at the moment.

After entering the building, Dan was directed into an elevator. He had a lovely bout of awkward silence as annoying little tunes played in the background. Once, when Dan had first been introduced to Andreas, he had tried making small talk in a situation similar to this He had been met with a stern glare and a ‘we aren’t friends, I work for you.’ which had been very blunt, but very true. He’d been warned by Shannon prior that he was not to make a friend out of Andreas, as that would ‘compromise his morals’ or some shit. Really, it just made him feel awful lonely most the time.  

They reached Sam’s office and Dan knocked on the door rhythmically. He was always unsure if he had to knock.

“Come in!” hollered a shrill voice that was unmistakably Shannon. Andreas stepped in first, ensured the area was safe, and then exited. The little routine check always threw Dan off his rhythm, but it was essential if he was going to be left alone in a room, according to Andreas. As soon as Andreas left the room, the door was shut and he was undoubtedly standing on the other side of it, bored out of his mind.

Sam, sitting behind his big executive and fancy looking desk, motioned for Dan to sit down in the empty chair next to Shannon, who was looking at him with excited eyes. Surely only good news could come of today's meeting.

“A huge opportunity unlike any other has fallen right in our laps, Dan.” Shannon started off, clearly unable to keep her enthusiasm contained.

“Daniel-” Sam always used his elongated name when addressing him “you will be required to sign an NDA today before we will disclose any information about this business opportunity. Do you understand?”

This was not new. Non-disclosure agreements were common in this line of work, when the public is avidly trying to dig into your personal life. It’s important to make sure the information you don’t want out there, isn’t getting out. Sometimes the only way you can hold people accountable is through legal binds. He had to sign them in many instances, usually so he could read a script for a high budget film in order to audition.

“Yeah, I understand.” He answered, and before he could even blink, a piece of paper was being handed to him along with a pen.

“Your legal team looked it over this morning. Read it and then sign if you wish to continue.” Sam was being overly professional in this case and it was making Dan nervous. No matter how many of these papers he signed, he always felt like he was going to be tricked some way or another. He’s seen too many lawyer shows to be unsuspecting of loopholes thrown in. No matter how many professional lawyers looked over the piece of paper and confirmed his safety in signing, it always felt just a bit sketchy.

This document was fairly standard, and after reading through it Dan felt as though it was safe enough to sign. As soon as he had committed ink to pen and wrote out his name Shannon started talking.

“So here’s the basic rundown, there is a certain actor who is in a sticky situation, and you're the perfect person to unstickify the situation.”

Shannon was being very vague. Very unsettlingly vague.

“Just, look at this picture.” Sam said as he handed Dan his phone. Displayed on the screen was an image of 2 boys kissing. 2 very familiar looking boys.

The first being Phil Lester, academy award nominee for best actor and Dan's ‘celebrity crush’ should he be forced to give an answer.

The second boy in the photo looked very similar to Dan, in fact the only reason he knew he wasn't the one in the photo is because he was pretty fucking sure he'd remember snogging Phil motherfucking Lester, no matter how drunk he was.

After a long stare at the image, Dan remembered people were still in front of him.

“That's not me.” He said quietly, afraid they were accusing him of pulling a publicity stunt. Not that he would be upset if that were him. Phil was very handsome.

“No, we know it's not you. But the public doesn’t know that.”

Shannon was still being vague as fuck and Dan was so beyond lost.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t understand. Is that actually Phil Lester? As in the actor? What the hell does this have to do with me?”

“So basically, he was outed by the paparazzi last night, and to minimize casualties his management team is attempting to make it look like a loving relationship, instead of a drunken hookup. Try to keep some dignity and all that. They’ve contacted us because, as the internet has pointed out, you look very similar to the boy in the photo. All you have to do is confirm it’s you and everyone will believe it.”

Sam was a lot more blunt when it came to, well, anything.

“Wait, wait, wait. You want me to pretend to be the boy in the picture? Isn’t that like, lying?”

“It’s showbiz, Dan. Lot’s of celebrities have purely ‘Hollywood’ relationships. It’ll be great positive publicity for you and it’ll help get Phil out of a hole. The man just got outed unexpectedly, his team is trying to salvage the situation. I think this will be a great step for your career.”

This was… not what Dan had been anticipating when he got the phone call at 8am.

Sam had done all the talking, and Shannon, who never shut up, was being uncharacteristically quiet.

“Shan? What do you think?” Her job was to manage him after all, Dan wanted her opinion on what he should do.

“I think this is a good idea if you think you can handle upholding a believable relationship for the length of time they demand. We can set up a meeting and discuss the details if you think you want to pursue this, otherwise we won’t waste our time. It’s all up to you, hun.”

It’s all up to him.

“Okay, then I guess we should set up a meeting. I’m not saying yes to anything yet, but I’ll hear what his team has to say.”

[oscopelabs]

Elvis, Truelove and the Stolen Boy: The Tragic Machismo of Nick Cassavetes’ ‘Alpha Dog’ by Amy Nicholson

[Last year, Musings paid homage to Produced and Abandoned: The Best Films You’ve Never Seen, a review anthology from the National Society of Film Critics that championed studio orphans from the ‘70s and ‘80s. In the days before the Internet, young cinephiles like myself relied on reference books and anthologies to lead us to films we might not have discovered otherwise. Released in 1990, Produced and Abandoned was a foundational piece of work, introducing me to such wonders as Cutter’s Way, Lost in America, High Tide, Choose Me, Housekeeping, and Fat City. (You can find the full list of entries here.) Our first round of Produced and Abandoned essays included Angelica Jade Bastién on By the Sea, Mike D’Angelo on The Counselor, Judy Berman on Velvet Goldmine, and Keith Phipps on O.C. and Stiggs. Today, Musings concludes our month-long round of essays about tarnished gems, in the hope they’ll get a second look. Or, more likely, a first. —Scott Tobias, editor.]

A decade before the presidency that elevated insults like “betacuck” and “soyboy” into political discourse, Nick Cassavetes made Alpha Dog, a cautionary tragedy about masculinity that audiences ignored. Time for a reappraisal. Alpha Dog is about a real murder. Over a three-day weekend in August of 2000, 15-year-old Zach Mazursky—in reality, named Nicholas Markowitz—is kidnapped and killed by the posse of 20-year-old San Fernando Valley drug dealer Johnny Truelove (Emile Hirsch) with a grudge against Zach’s older brother. No one thought the boy would die, not his main babysitter Frankie (Justin Timberlake), not the girls invited to party with “Stolen Boy,” and not even the boy himself, played with naive perfection by Anton Yelchin, who played video games and pounded beers assuming that his new captor-friends would eventually take him home.

Cassavetes’ daughter went to the same high school as Nicholas Markowitz. The murderers were neighborhood kids and he wanted to understand how fortunate sons with their whole lives ahead of them wound up in prison. The trigger man, Ryan Hoyt—“Elvis” in the film—had never even gotten a speeding ticket. Prosecutor Ron Zonen hoped the publicity around Alpha Dog would help the public spot the real-life Johnny, named Jesse James Hollywood, who was still on the lam despite being one of America’s Most Wanted. So the lawyers gave Cassavetes access to everything: crime scene photos, trial transcripts, psychological profiles, police reports, and their permission to contact the criminals and their parents. Cassavetes even took his actors to meet their counterparts, driving Justin Timberlake to a maximum security prison to get the vibe of the actual Frankie, and introducing Sharon Stone to Nicholas Markowitz’s mother, a broken woman who attempted suicide a dozen times in the years after her son's death.

Alpha Dog, pronounced Cassavetes, was “95 percent accurate.” Which was part of why it got buried, thanks to Jesse James Hollywood’s arrest just weeks after the film wrapped. Cassavetes hastily wrote a new ending to the movie, but his problems were just beginning. Hollywood’s lawyers insisted Alpha Dog would prevent their client from getting a fair trial, and used the threat of a mistrial to force Zonen off the case. “I don't know what Zonen was thinking, handing over the files,” gloated Hollywood’s defense team. “It was stupid.”

The publicity, and the delays, dragged out the pain for Markowitz’s family, especially when they heard Cassavetes had paid Hollywood’s father an, er, consulting fee. “Where is the justice in that?” asked the victim's brother. “This just goes on and on, and I’m spending my whole life in a courtroom.”

The film, too, was pushed back a year from its Sundance premiere. Despite casting a visionary young ensemble—Alpha Dog was my own introduction to Yelchin, Ben Foster, Olivia Wilde, Amanda Seyfried, Amber Heard, and the realization that Timberlake, that kid from N*SYNC, could actually act—no one noticed when it slid into theaters in January of 2007. It wasn’t just the bad press. It was that audiences couldn’t get past that Cassavetes’ last film was The Notebook. No way could the guy behind the biggest romantic weepy of a generation make something raw and cool.

But he had. Alpha Dog is a stunning movie about machismo and fate, two tag-team traits that destroy lives. Think Oedipus convincing himself he can outwit the oracle of Delphi. But Sophocles’ Oedipus telegraphs its intentions, elbowing the audience to see the end at the beginning. Greeks sitting down in 405 BC knew they were watching a tale that came full circle. Every step Oedipus takes away from his patricidal destiny just moves him closer to it.

If you map Alpha Dog’s script, instead of a loop, it looks like a horizontal line that plummets off a cliff. For most of its running time, Alpha Dog could pass for a coming-of-age flick where a sheltered kid with an over-protective mom (Sharon Stone) taps into his own self-confidence, right up until the scene where he tumbles into his own grave. Audiences who’d missed the news articles about the case weren’t clued into the climax. Cassavetes doesn’t offer any hints or flash-forwards, not even an ominous “based-on-a-true-story.” (The film might have been more successful if he had.) Instead, he lulls you into joining the kegger, watching Zach crack open beer after beer as though he expects to live forever. “There’s a movie sensibility that the film doesn’t conform to,” said Cassavetes. “You don’t watch this film. You endure it.”

As Zach, his eyes red-rimmed from bong rips, not tears, is shuttled between party dens and wealthy homes, he’s given several chances to escape. He’s even revealed to be a Tae Kwan Do blackbelt who can jokingly flip his captor-buddy Frankie (Justin Timberlake) into a bathtub. But Zach stays put—he doesn’t want to get his big brother Jake (Ben Foster) in more trouble, not realizing that Johnny is too busy making nervous phone calls to his lawyer and his aggro father Sonny (Bruce Willis) to get around to asking Jake for the $1200 in ransom money.

Zach’s death is disorienting, almost as if Psycho's Marion Crane got murdered in the second-to-last reel. In a minivan en route to his execution, he innocently tells Frankie he wants learn to play guitar. “It bugs me that I don’t know how to do anything,” he sighs. Meanwhile Johnny assures his dad that there’s no need to call off the killing. “These guys are such fuck-ups, nothing's gonna happen,” he shrugs, a rare example of cross-cutting that defuses tension in order to make the shock of the gunfire even worse. Up until the last second—even after Frankie binds him with duct tape—a sobbing Zach still can’t believe Frankie would hurt him, and honestly, Frankie can’t believe it himself. And Yelchin’s own early death makes you ache for him to get a happy ending, which Cassavetes dangles just out of reach.

This is how evil happens, says Cassavetes. Masterminds are rare. Instead, people like Frankie can be basically good, but can also be panicky and passive and selfish. Shoving Zach in Johnny’s van was an idiotic impulse by upper middle-class kids, who flipped out when they realized the snatching could get them a lifetime sentence. There’s no honor or glory in the violence. Johnny, the cowardly ringleader, talks tough, but orders his most craven friend, Elvis (Shawn Hatosy), to pull the trigger while he and his girlfriend Angela (Olivia Wilde) get drunk on margaritas. And after the murder, one side effect is that Johnny can’t get an erection. When Angela tries to get Johnny in the mood in their hideout motel, the walls close in on him, suffocating the mood.  

Away from his boys, Johnny is weak. Surrounded by them, he's the king. Alpha Dog sets up a culture of animalistic dominance. Johnny’s rental house is basically a primate cage at the zoo, only decorated with weight benches and Scarface posters. All of Johnny’s boys jockey to be his favorite and tear each other down in order to bump up their own rank. Kindness is weakness. When a fellow dealer with the ridiculous nickname Bobby 911 cruises by to negotiate a sale, he snarls at a guy who vouches for him: “You don’t need to tell him I’m good for it, man!”

Elvis, the future shooter, is the lowest member of the pack. He can’t ease into the group without Johnny ordering him to go pick up his pit-bull's poop in the backyard. Why do they pick on Elvis? He owes Johnny a bit of money, but the source of the scorn is simply group think. No one wants to be nice to the outcast, and Elvis is just too sincere to be taken seriously. When Elvis offers to get Johnny a beer, the guys tease him for being in love with Johnny. When he says sure, he does care about Johnny, they twist words into a gay panic joke. Elvis can’t win—they won’t let him—so he literally kills to prove his worth, and winds up sentenced to death row, where the real boy, just 21 at the time of the shooting, remains today. Another life wasted.

Cassavetes humanizes the killers because he wants us to understand how their micro decisions add up to murder. Not just the gunmen. Everyone’s a little to blame. The kids who got drunk with “Stolen Boy” and didn’t call the police. The girls who told Zach that being kidnapped made him sexy. Even Zach’s older step-brother Jake, an addict with a twitchy temper who escalates his war with Johnny to a fatal breaking point. Neither boy will back down over a $1200 debt, and there’s an awful split screen call when Johnny dials Jake intending to bring Zach home, but Jake is so boiling over with anger, his Bugs Bunny voice shrieking with outrage, that Johnny just hangs up the phone.

The opening credits, a montage of the cast’s own old home videos, underline that these were young and happy children—the kind of kids people point to as examples of the suburban American ideal. Over a treacly cover of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” we watch these real life boys being cultured to be brave: riding bikes, falling off dive-boards, running around with toy guns, going through the rituals of young manhood, from bar mitzvahs to karate lessons. Yelchin—recognizably dark-eyed and solemn even as a toddler—grins wearing plastic vampire teeth.

It takes another ten minutes for Yelchin’s character to sneak into the film sideways in a profile shot eating dinner with his parents, played by Sharon Stone and David Thornton. His Zach is barely even visible as brash Jake barges into the scene to beg for money. They say no, Jake stomps out, and Zach finally makes himself seen when he runs after his brother, begging to go anywhere less suffocating. Zach’s mom loves him so much that she watches him sleep. “I’m not fucking eight!” he yelps. He’s 15—practically a man, in his own imagination—and desperate to get away, even if it means mimicking Jake, a Jewish kid who’s so scrambled that he has a Hebrew tattoo on his clavicle and a swastika inked on his back. Jake starts to say that he wishes his own mom cared about him that much, but as soon as he gets vulnerable, he spins the moment into a joke. “Boo for me,” Jake grins, and takes another swig of beer.

“You could say it’s about drugs or guns or disaffected youth, but this whole thing is about parenting,” grunts Bruce Willis’ Sonny Truelove. “It’s about taking care of your children. You take care of yours, I take care of mine.” He’s half-right—his parenting is half to blame. Sonny and his best friend Cosmo (Harry Dean Stanton) taught Johnny to bully his friends. Cosmo, looking haggard and hollow, mocks Johnny for having one girlfriend. “You gotta plow some fucking fields,” he bellows. “Men are not supposed to be monopolous!” Not that “monopolous” is a real word, and not that Cosmo fends off women himself, except in his own big talk.

Cosmo and Sonny’s own posturing gradually emerges as being more dangerous than Johnny’s because it's more integrated into society. They’re the type of creeps who rewrite the rulebook to suit them, and attack journalists who try to tell the truth. When a fictitious documentarian asks Sonny about his son's drug connections, the father shrugs, “Did he sell a little weed? Sure.” But when the interviewer presses him further, Sonny snaps, “I’m a taxpayer and I’m a citizen and you are a jerk-off.”

Cassavetes, of course, understands growing up with a father who left a giant footprint to fill. His father, John Cassavetes, the writer-director of Shadows and Faces and A Woman Under the Influence, was one of the major pioneers of independent cinema. He died when Nick was 30, before his son attempted to take up his legacy. “We never really talked film theory,” said Cassavetes. “My experience with my dad was more along the lines of how to be a man, how to be yourself, how to free yourself from what society tells you to do, how to release yourself as an artist.”

It makes sense that Cassavetes would make his own ambitious, and maddeningly singular film. And perhaps it even makes sense to him that fate has yet to give him the reward he’s earned. Alpha Dog deserves to be acknowledged as one of the most incisive examinations of machismo and the banality of evil. But like his fumbling criminals, he knows he’s not really in charge of his life. Admitted Cassavetes, “I'm not smart enough to really have a master plan for my career.”

[skeletonscribbles]

Wishes - Chapter 12

there was really no getting around including Star Wars Weekend.

Disney folks  - I KNOW you can't get specialty drinks at Starring Rolls but I'm too lazy to make them go to a kiosk, okay? also I haven't been to SWW in a minute. they probably have different food now, but all the Disney Food Blog entries I looked at were back from like 2015 so I'm operating under the assumption that the novelty shit doesn't change.

Anyways.

Chapter Title: “Cantina Song” (Stan)

Warnings: unintelligible memeing, “Luke Skywalker is gay” discourse, some discussion of discrimination

meme references: I Have The High Ground Now THIS is Podracing That's....why I'm here....  (Comment your fave prequel meme if you have one - mine’s Obi Wan’s “Hello There” but I couldn’t figure out how to fit it in to the chapter RIP)

READ ON AO3

Tag List:  @roobarrtrashmouth @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @tozier-club @aizeninlefox @stanheartsbill @imrichie @softeds @pretzelstoday @melancholypurple @wheezygreens @ayyyymichele @loser-marsh

STANLEY URIS FRONT DESK COORDINATOR, YACHT CLUB RESORT but more immediately DISNEY’S HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS MAY 4TH 11 A.M.

“It’s not that I don’t think Star Wars looks interesting,” Stan explained for what felt like the zillionth time that day. “Aesthetically, I’m all about it. I saw a PBS special one time about how they painted some of the sets - that was really cool.”

“So the reason you haven’t seen any of the films is…”

“Purely meme-related, yes.” Stan sighed and rubbed at his eyes. “I don’t understand what’s so hard to grasp about that.”

“Everything, Stan!” Mike all but shouted (though there was a tell-tale wobbliness to his voice that suggested he was on the verge of laughter). “Everything!”

Star Wars Weekend was one of the more baffling annual events on property for Stan. Aside from his never having seen the movies, Stan also wasn’t sure why the entire shebang took place in Hollywood Studios (his least favorite park), especially because the Star Wars Land expansion wasn’t even finished yet. All Studios had to offer for the event was boring old motion-simulator Star Tours and the giant stomp robot it was housed in (“the AT-AT, Stan,” Mike had sighed at least 15 times in the past hour alone). That said, though, Mike loved Star Wars and had apparently been looking forward to getting his picture taken with the round rolling robot (“he has a name, Stan, call him BB-8!”) for quite some time now. Since February and the veritable relationship shitstorm they’d weathered, Stan had been extra determined to compromise wherever he could to show Mike that he was in this for the long run, and as compromises ran, Star Wars Weekend wasn’t a bad one by any means.

“Do you want me to watch the movies, Mike?” he asked, resigned.

Mike laughed and pulled up the bottom of his Rebel Alliance shirt to mop the sweat off of his face. Stan didn’t even bother to hide the way his eyes slid down to Mike’s newly exposed stomach, and made a mental note to ask a Cast Member how long Star Tours was so he could gauge whether or not it was feasible to fool around on the ride. (So far, they’d managed some light groping on the 11 minute ride through the Haunted Mansion, and would have gotten even farther on Pirates except that Stan had Richie’s voice in his head the whole time reminding him of “all the fuckin’ shit I’ve seen on those cameras, Stan, I swear to whatever Jewish God you pray to”.)

“I should have asked if you liked Star Wars, like...weeks ago,” Mike said sadly. “I guess I just assumed. I’m sorry.”

“No worries,” Stan assured him, putting a comforting and not at all lascivious hand on his bicep. “I love Star Wars Weekend. It’s like living in another country for two days. I don’t understand shit about what’s going on, but the food is good and it’s pretty fucking funny if you play your cards right.”

“Another country?” Mike smiled. “Another planet, more like.”

Stan laughed. “Now you’re getting it. Speaking of miscommunications, do we have word from Richie and Eddie?”

“Operation double date is a go,” Mike confirmed, pulling out his phone to double check his texts. “Eddie said they’d be here in like twenty minutes.”

“Cool,” Stan said, and was surprised to find that he meant it. Richie had been in the apartment less and less as his relationship with Eddie had gotten more and more serious, which had culminated in Stan seeing Richie maybe twice over the entirety of the past two weeks. (Stan hoped that meant that they were finally having sex. It would be such a relief to know that Richie had built himself back up to a place where he was finally ready to make that happen.) Stan would never admit it to Richie’s face, but he was starting to miss having Richie around. He was running out of things to clean in the apartment, because no one was around to leave dishes in the sink or leave toothpaste smeared across the bathroom counter. It should have been a relief, but instead it was weird. He’d had Richie around for so long that the idiot had become a central part of his daily routines, and while he was happy that his friend was finally getting his shit together, it was going to be tough to reimagine his life with less Richie.

But. That was a problem for Later Stan.

“So,” Mike continued, “I was thinking maybe we grab food and then head for character meet-and-greets once they arrive? I’ve been waiting to eat chocolate Darth Vader cake all day, and if we don’t do that before Richie shows up, he’ll try to steal off of our plates.”

“True!” Stan brightened at the idea of food. He’d seen people walking around with some kind of blue drink that he’d been dying to try all day. “I think they’ve got cupcakes and stuff at that bakery over by Sunset?”

Mike shrugged. “Sounds right. It’ll be deserted over there, too - no one wants to ride Tower of Terror during Star Wars Weekend. Wanna walk?”

“I do,” Stan said, taking up a brisk pace towards the Sunset Boulevard themed area of the park. “I might be wrong about the cupcakes, though. I really don’t know this park at all. I only come here with Richie.”

“Let me guess,” Mike said knowingly, following Stan across the park, “he takes you here because he likes to feel like he’s doing better than someone at the Toy Story Midway Mania game.”

Stan almost stopped in his tracks. “How did you know?”

“He took me here the first time we hung out solo, too,” Mike said, catching up with Stan during his momentary lull and taking his hand. Stan couldn’t help but smile a little bit at the gesture, even though he was sure he’d drop Mike’s hand sooner rather than later - May in Florida meant that things were already almost unbearably muggy. “I think he takes everyone here so that he can gauge their Toy Story shooting skills.”

“And you were better than him?” Stan guessed.

“I wasn’t worse,” Mike agreed. “His hand-eye coordination needs some serious work.”

“No, my hand-eye coordination needs some serious work,” Stan sighed, spotting the bakery he was thinking of and making a beeline for it with Mike in tow. “Richie just can’t see. He has to wear the 3D glasses on top of his regular glasses.”

“Well, if we ever ride that ride together, I’ll let you win, sweetheart,” Mike promised, and Stan reached up to pull his curls desperately down over his ears so as to hide how red they’d just gotten. Mike really was the least selfish person on Earth. How had he, Stanley Uris, gotten so lucky?

But...now wasn’t the time to reflect on selfishness, because that would just make both of them a little bit sad. Neither of them had reached out to Bill at all since early March, and while they’d admitted to one another that they felt a little bit like they hadn’t given him enough of a chance (although Mike still felt worse about it than Stan did - it was in Mike’s nature to hope for change, and it was in Stan’s nature to know that things were going to stay the same), their residual guilt hadn’t been enough to warrant a check-in with their ex-partner just yet.

It would have to be soon, though - they both knew that. The seven of them were booked to visit Anaheim in just two short months, and if they weren’t amiable by then, Bev would kill them.

Soon wasn���t now, though. They’d be ready when they were ready.

“Let’s just never ride that ride together, okay?” Stan suggested, stopping in front of the bakery and checking out the menu signs out front. “Is this the cupcake you wanted?”

“Are these the droids I’m looking for?” Mike joked, but it fell on deaf ears. Stan knew a fair amount of Star Wars jokes as a result of his longtime dedication to r/funny (and he was absolutely positive that they’d be made less funny by his actually having seen the films, he just knew it, which was the real, core reason why he hadn’t bitten the bullet and watched the goddamn movies), but he had long since resigned himself to the fact that there were some references he was just never going to get.

“Chocolate Darth Vader,” Stan continued, trying to save them both some embarrassment. “Or was it this Jabba the Hutt….thing?”

Mike squinted at the menu, paying special attention to what was apparently a new item as of this year’s Star Wars Weekend. “That is the ugliest fucking cupcake I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“Can’t be uglier than Eddie’s mom!”

Fuck. Eddie’s stupid homing beacon brain had obviously struck again. Sighing heavily, Stan smoothed down his navy polo and turned around to greet his roommate.

“Hello Stan!” Eddie was three steps ahead of Richie, beaming as he bounded across the red concrete towards them. The shirt he was wearing had really obviously belonged to Richie at some point - the first clue was that it was white with Han Solo silhouetted in black on the front (Eddie didn’t know shit about Star Wars), and the second was that Eddie was absolutely swimming in it. In spite of both of those things, Eddie was in better spirits than Stan had maybe ever seen him, to the point where Stan was almost afraid that Eddie was going to hug him when he got close enough.

“Eddie,” Stan greeted, raising a hand slowly to wave cordially at their two friends as Mike slowly shifted his attention away from the cupcake selection. “Richie.”

“Stanakin Skywalker,” Richie grinned, coming up behind Eddie and sliding a hand easily onto Eddie’s shoulder, “here with Pad-Mike Amidala.”

Stan stared at him, wondering vaguely if he’d actually forgotten that Stan had zero knowledge of the Star Wars films. “Who?”

“Never mind.” Richie waved a conceding hand. The motion of his wave drew Stan’s eyes to his shirt, which was the most hideous brown monstrosity Stan had maybe ever seen (modeled after that creature that was always with Han Solo whose name Stan always forgot), and he wondered: had he actually missed Richie Tozier, or had his mind just gone soft and nostalgic from being alone in the apartment?

“How’d you find us, Eddie?” Mike asked, smiling warily down at the top of Eddie’s head. “I didn’t text you that we were getting food, did I?”

Eddie shrugged. “Had a hunch. Richie saw one of those blue drinks and thought that Stan would like that, and I know you can get those here, so.”

Stan looked at Richie, who was smiling at his giant, converse-clad feet, and felt a little bit sad all over again. His empty apartment nostalgia brain had nothing to do with how big of a hole Richie’s semi-departure had actually left in his life.

But again - that was a problem for Later Stan.

“Come on, Rich,” Stan said, moving towards the doors of the Starring Rolls Cafe and beckoning to his friend. “I’ll buy you a cupcake.”

Richie’s resulting smile was enough to make Stan consider skipping the fireworks show - it was that much of a spectacle. “He does care!”

“I always have, dipshit,” Stan muttered, walking pointedly away from Richie and into the air-conditioned cafe. Immediately, he let out a sigh of relief - the Florida heat fucking sucked, and he could practically feel his hair going nuts with it at this point in the day. Behind him, he heard Richie following along and chattering enthusiastically, but he tuned that out in favor of locating the blue drink he wanted on the menu. Once he found it, he couldn’t help but scowl...there was no way he was going to be able to pronounce the name of that cocktail well enough to order it. Reluctantly, he turned back to Mike.

“Hey sweetheart,” he began slowly, “the blue drink....”

Mike glanced at the menu, and then he threw his head back and let out a long laugh. Embarrassed, Stan tightened his shoulders and turned around.

“Never mind, I don’t--”

“Alderaan,” Mike said, still wheezing with laughter. “It’s pronounced All - deh - rahn...although if you want to pay homage to that meme you like about the high ground, you should get the red Mustafar thing--”

Stan considered that. On the one hand, he was mortified enough at this point to be seriously considering just skipping the drink altogether, but on the other...he did love that meme...

“Richie?” He glanced off to the right, scanning the room for Richie, who had become suspiciously quiet since they’d entered the bakery. “Tell me what you want so I can ge--”

The sentence dried up in Stan’s mouth as he locked eyes with one Bill Denbrough, who was standing next to a sheepish looking Richie. Stan vaguely registered the presence of Eddie, Beverly, and Ben behind Bill, but it didn’t matter that they were there, not really.

Well, it did, kind of. He tore his eyes from Bill and quickly scanned each of their faces - Richie looked uncomfortable, Eddie looked kind of sick, Ben looked embarrassed, and Bev...Bev looked…

Stan turned back to the left to glance at Mike, and when Mike met his gaze, a small nod confirmed Stan’s suspicions: this was Beverly Marsh’s doing, most definitely.

Bill himself looked more gaunt than Stan remembered - as if someone had taken the face that Stan remembered and stretched it thinner, made it longer, made it sadder, almost. His blue eyes stood in stark contrast to the circles around them, and they looked scared.

Bizarrely, that detail was almost comforting to Stan. It was good that Bill was a little frightened. That was better than Bill being indignant, or having that Denbrough fiery conviction in his eyes. No...frightened, Stan could work with. It gave him leverage, at the very least.

Mike would feel bad about it, though - and Stan could see him already starting to feel bad about it, guilt was creeping across his face and sinking his shoulders. Damn it.

Bill spoke first. “You didn’t t-tell me they were going to be here, Bev.”

Oh. That was new. Stan knew that Bill had stuttered in his youth, but he hadn’t ever actually heard him do it. Was it a ploy, or was it legitimate? Was it shitty of Stan to even be thinking that question?

“You guys were never going to get here on your own,” Bev said cooly, and Stan felt a little spike of anger at her - who was she to dictate the terms of this revisitation? They weren’t ready. None of them were ready, and Hollywood Studios was the wrong venue for any kind of confrontation.

Before he could collect his thoughts well enough to voice his displeasure, though, Eddie was speaking. “Should we go, then?” he asked, twisting the hem of his shirt in his hands nervously. “We could get in line for Star Tours, maybe? Or the Luke Skywalker meet-and-greet?”

“Do you know the names of any Star Wars characters that aren’t Luke Skywalker?” Richie asked fondly, re-situating his hand on Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie leaned into the touch, smiling quietly to himself.

“I like Luke Skywalker.” Eddie defended himself without any real heat, sliding a hand up to cover Richie’s. “He’s gay.”

Ben half-covered his face with his hand. “Oh, Eddie…”

“We’ll go,” Bev decided loudly, grabbing for Ben’s hand and leading him towards the door. “Text me when you’re ready to join us, boys. We’ll be in line for something or other, probably.”

Bev, Ben, Richie, and Eddie swept out of the restaurant together, and all of Stan’s angry words were left to fester as the four of them disappeared into the crowd, chattering about the merits of meeting Princess Leia (Bev’s choice) versus meeting Luke Skywalker (Eddie’s choice).

For the first time since February, Stan, Mike, and Bill were alone together. It was almost funny that they were reconciling in a restaurant, Stan thought, except that it was really not funny at all. None of them had moved, so they weren’t even set up to have a private conversation - they were stuck just staring at each other across the bakery as patrons entered and exited.

After a long thirty seconds, Mike strode forward, and gestured to Stan to follow him. Stan clenched his fists and entertained the idea of resisting - he didn’t want either of them to be drawn back into the vortex they’d been in before, the last two months had been so good - but in the end, he followed, because this wasn’t about going back, not really. It was about moving forward.

How have you been, Bill?” Mike asked softly, offering out a hand for Bill to shake.

Bill stared at Mike’s hand as if it were going to bite him, but Mike held firm, and after an excruciating moment, Bill relented. Stan was surprised at how visibly Bill relaxed when his brain finally processed that Mike and Stan weren’t going to be hostile. He deflated like a balloon, sagging his shoulders and sliding his hand into Mike’s.

“Okay,” Bill said, and Stan could almost feel the way his face immediately synched up with Mike’s as they raised their eyebrows at Bill skeptically. Bill stared at them for a second, and then choked out a laugh, eyes widening incredulously. “Okay, not great, not really even okay, actually. Holy shit, you guys.”

“Sorry,” Mike said, at the same time that Stan said, “Now THIS is podracing,” and Bill let out another hoarse laugh.

“Is that a meme?” he asked, smiling up at Stan, and Stan felt his stomach clench upon seeing the little crinkly smile lines around Bill’s eyes. How fucking odd, to remember the things that you were attracted to in a person without experiencing the actual attraction.

“Yes,” Stan said, and found that his voice wasn’t nearly as sharp as he’d anticipated it being. “Of course it’s a meme. You know me.”

Bill looked like he had something to say on that point, but to Stan’s great surprise, he kept it to himself.

“Guest Relations still going okay? I never see you in the tunnels,” Mike continued, already grasping for straws as far as small talk topics were concerned. The conversation was going to have to get serious soon - Stan wasn’t sure why Mike was delaying the inevitable.

“It’s fine,” Bill shrugged. “Kind of boring. I see Richie and Eddie sometimes, but mostly it’s just the usual sitting at the window and fielding complaints. How’s Splash? And Yacht?”

“Splash is great, actually,” Mike said, smiling slowly. “I’m glad I transferred there. I’m having a lot of fun.”

If Bill was upset about that, he was doing a good job of not showing it. “I’m glad. And you, Stan?”

Stan nodded, trying to be as agreeable as possible. “We’ve got wings closed for renovation, so it’s pretty quiet. Once we’re full steam ahead again, though, I’m going to put in for Manager.”

Bill swung his eyes over to meet Stan’s, and Stan was surprised by how open his expression was. “Good. Sounds like you’re both doing well.”

Mike and Stan exchanged a nervous glance. “We’re fine, yeah.”

There was an awkward silence, exacerbated by Bill turning away for a few seconds to look at the cupcake case. Once he turned back, Mike spoke again.

“I’m sorry for what happened in February,” he said, and Stan straightened up. Finally, finally, finally they had reached the meat of the conversation - and the sooner they got through it, the sooner this terrible interaction would be finished. “I know I wasn’t fair.”

Mike turned his head after he was finished speaking and fixed Stan with a look that indicated that he expected Stan to apologize too...but Stan wasn’t quite there yet.

“Have you thought about what we said?” he asked instead, and he felt rather than saw Mike’s cringe.

Bill didn’t seem upset, though. In fact, he looked as though he had expected that line of questioning. “If I said yes, Stan, would you believe me?”

Stan didn’t really know what his answer to that question was. Fortunately, Mike was able to make a quicker judgement call.

“I would,” said Mike. “February Bill would have been pretty mad that we were doing well without him, I think, and you seem….you seem calm, Bill. Have you been talking to someone?”

“Just Bev,” he said, cutting eye contact with both of them and looking at the ground sheepishly. “We still live together for the moment, but I think she’s looking at moving in with Ben? Is that true?” He looked specifically at Mike for that question, and Mike nodded carefully.

“I think so? I’m pretty evenly split between my place and Stan’s, so I don’t know for sure,” he said, and Stan’s eyes snapped back to Bill’s face, trying to gauge his reaction about Stan and Mike spending time together. To his credit, he didn’t seem fazed at all.

Fuck. Maybe things had changed over the past few months. Maybe Bill was trying to self-improve after all.

“But I’m thinking about seeing a therapist,” Bill continued, shuffling his feet a little bit, “just to like, talk to someone, you know? And I’ve been thinking about what you guys were saying about the not listening, because...well, Bev said it too, and I’m not...I’m working on it.”

Mike smiled sweetly. “I can tell.”

“Me too,” Stan admitted, and Bill’s eyes snapped up at that. He had obviously not expected Stan to be kind.

“I have a question, though,” Bill asked, in a tone that quietly indicated that he only half-wanted to ask his question.

“Shoot,” Mike and Stan said in unison, and Bill shuddered.

“Fucking weird, you guys. Anyways,” he said, taking his time as if trying to word it perfectly in his head. “I just...what happened? Why me? I know that’s probably like...ignorant or something? Maybe? I don’t know, but...I deserve to know that, I think.”

Stan smiled thinly. The old Bill - the “deserve” Bill - was not quite dead, after all.

Mike, as always, was kinder than Stan, and launched quickly into an explanation.

“Well, the minority versus non-minority thing was bigger than you thought it was, I think,” Mike said thoughtfully, and Stan nodded.

“Yeah, ditto that. There are some things you just can’t understand unless you’ve lived them.”

Bill frowned and shoved his hands into his pockets. “But Stan’s white.”

Stan exhaled lowly. “Yeah, and that’s not the same as Mike and all the shit he deals with, I know...but the Jewishness, Bill. It’s a thing, even if I haven’t really practiced in a minute...it’s a thing.”

Sighing, Bill inelegantly pushed a hand back through his hair. “Okay, I guess. Was that it?”

Stan looked at Mike, and Mike nodded back at him, giving him the non-verbal green light.

“The dynamic was weird,” Stan said, willing Bill to look him in the eyes for this part. It wasn’t happening, but it felt like it was important to try, so Stan persisted. “You like to be in charge, and the two of us aren’t really people that like having people in charge of us.”

“Yeah,” Mike agreed. “We’re not Richie and Eddie, Bill - heck, we’re not even Ben and Bev. We’ve got a whole different thing going on, you know?”

Bill’s eyes were all but glued to the floor. “That makes sense, I guess.”

“You don’t like it,” Mike said flatly, and Bill hesitated for a moment before nodding.

“I don’t,” Bill agreed. “But. It helps to know.”

“We should have explained it better,” Mike said, and Stan nodded shortly - almost indecipherably, because part of him was still resistant to apologizing, but he nodded all the same. “It’s just so fucking frustrating in the moment, you know?”

Bill barked out a laugh. “Yeah, I definitely know.”

Another silence fell upon them, but it was more comfortable now. Stan could practically see the other side of the conversation, and he was desperate to get there. The staff was starting to be weirded out by their continued presence.

“Are we going to be okay, then?” he asked, trying to drive the other two to a more practical place.

They both looked up at him with matching fond smiles, and he felt heat curl in his gut. Fuck, that was...something else.

“I don’t know about hanging today, if I’m honest,” Mike said, more blunt than usual (and Stan knew that was for his sake), “but we could try another day and see? That’ll give us time to prepare.”

Bill nodded thoughtfully. “Time to prepare sounds good. Bev really threw us under the bus today, huh.”

“She really fucking did,” Stan agreed sourly. “Which day?”

“I’m pretty tied up this month,” Bill admitted, “but maybe beginning of June? Do you guys have Universal Studios Season Passes? I haven’t been on Kong yet.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Mike smiled. “Cool. You staying for the rest of this Star Wars crazy, Bill?”

“Nah,” Bill said, waving a hand dismissively across his face. “I’m more of a Star Trek guy. Bev knows that, so I was a little confused about why she asked me to come today...I guess I know now. Anyways. I’ll probably go home and watch reruns of Arrested Development.”

Stan nodded, feeling light. “Well, godspeed, then.”

Bill looked between the two of them, looking half pleased and half exasperated. “God, Stan, you’re so--”

“I know,” Stan said, reaching for Mike’s hand. To his great relief, Mike took it immediately. “I know.”

There was still more to say - the air was thick with conversation they weren’t having, but it was time for Bill to go, and he knew it.

“Goodbye, then,” he finally said, backing towards the doors of the restaurant.

“Goodbye,” Mike and Stan chorused, waving him away until he pushed his way out and back into the Florida sun.

They stood there like that for a moment, hands clasped, and then looked back at each other.

“How do you say the name of that drink again?” Stan finally asked, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Mike opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, someone tapped Stan on the shoulder.

It was one of the Starring Rolls employees, holding his blue, blue drink.

“Couldn’t help but overhear,” she said quickly as Stan read her nametag (‘Patricia’, and she looked like one, too, all dark curls and dimples). “This is on the house. Sorry about your friend.”

Stan blinked back at her, too surprised to speak, and Mike clapped a hand on his shoulder, laughing softly.

“In another life, he’d be considering asking you to marry him right about now,” Mike informed the girl, who laughed in response.

“Sounds like it would be nice,” she said, beaming at the two of them. “Alternate universe Patty Blum is pretty lucky. But for now, enjoy, okay? May the fourth be with you.”

“Thank you,” Stan said, thirty seconds too late - she was already headed back to her post.

“Pull yourself together, sweetheart,” Mike chided jokingly, holding up his phone, which was lit up with new text notifications. “Bev’s wondering where we are. You up for doing more shit? I know that was a lot to handle.”

Stan looked down at his drink, and then up at Mike, and felt his face split into a huge, crazy grin.

“That’s...why I’m here.”

Mike’s responding groan propelled them out of Starring Rolls and all the way back to where Bev, Ben, Richie, and Eddie were waiting for them.