#gayest design ever

[moonetta]

Owari really popped off with this gay ass design he’s so pretty and beautiful

[lemonisntreal]

TONE DEAF :: Rosita and Norman <3

The first in a [hopefully] series of redesign + headcanon posts where I give you my take on a character for my AU

I'm grouping the two together because a] a lot of fluff headcanons I have, they share [because they're literally husband and wife]. And b] if I made an individual post for every single character, I... would go insane. So yeah. A bunch of characters are gonna get clumped together.

[FULL MASTERPOST HERE [yet to be made <3]]

HEADCANONS // BACKSTORY ⬇️

Me and the bad bitch I pulled by being autistic [also autistic]

Both of them are the same age, mid to late thirties.

In terms of general intelligence: Rosita has gifted IQ, while Norman is at genius level.

I know. I know Norman seems kinda dim in the movies. But guys [LMAO]. "I know it looks like there's nothing happening behind those eyes, but...... he can make entire computers!"

He's so smart yet so stupid. He's that kind of character. Like he can do all of this super impressive shit, and is super talented and can do math like BOOM done, but he's also kinda a "deer-in-the-headlights" when it comes to life [I LOVE HIM 👹]

Both of them worked hard and have their college degrees almost completely paid off at this point because of the scholarships they earned.

Rosita has a degree in engineering, Norman's a computer scientist.

They're both in STEM, it's just that Rosita likes to handle more of the mechanical aspects of things while Norman's better with the technical stuff, which I think is cute af.

Yin and Yang <3

This dynamic is just how they are too. How they act. Like for example, Rosita can be very to-the-point-

She's very much a problem solver and will get right to it once she understands what she's doing. Like yeah, she often takes a very methodical approach to it [see the scene where she's got all the papers laid out to try and learn to dance- very new territory for her], but once she learns, she gos all in. And EATS.

Norman's gotta have a plan before doing anything, meanwhile. He has a morning routine that can't be interrupted or else his whole day and mood will be thrown off. He reads through a recipe twice before even starting. That kind of stuff.

He's a lot more hesitant to even try.

A lot of people find Norman boring. But Rosita is enraptured by every word he says, she LOVES his long spiels about hyper-specific [and often mundane] things.

AAAA--

Norman is also a closeted DORK. He ran a tabletop games club in highschool with a couple other of his geeky ass friends [he's still into D&D to this day and has introduced Rosita to the game too]

[she's fun to play with, but super competitive. This goes for ANY game, actually, not just D&D. She'll kinda accidentally turn everything into a "contest" due to her inability to not do her very best] [it's mostly inspirational, not annoying, if that makes sense?]

I also wanna say Norman was in a weird amount of drama that he didn't want to be in at this time. Like all of his friends had falling-outs, and he was just always caught in the middle of it.

He's afraid of confrontation [UNLESS IT'S FOR HIS WIFE] [HE STANDS UP FOR HER RAHHHH] [this is gonna happen when I get to rewriting Sing 2, he's NOT just gonna take Crystal calling his WIFE "mommy pig"]

They're sooo "excuse me, he asked for no pickles"

Norman and Rosita technically met in high school, in Junior year when Norman first moved to Calatonia.

WHICH, he and his family did this because this was a point in time where laws having to do with the rights of animals were VERY flimsy, and Calatonia was one of the first and only safe places at the time-- for Pigs especially, actually.

The 3 Little Pigs is deadass CANON TO SING. So Pigs were/are actually a marginalized species in this universe.

[[during the warring period that I have yet to really talk about, they were often victims of the anarchy and poaching, so stigmas and insults around them still exist to this day]]

[[[[see Jimmy Crystal]]]]

So anyway, they "met" in high school- Norman totally crushed on Rosita from afar whenever he'd catch her in volleyball matches-

Rosita had a major tomboy phase throughout high school, slowly falling out of it during college [still only saves dresses and skirts for special occasions really]

[[Fun fact, Rosita is also sapiosexual [attracted to intelligence] [Roxanne Ritchi ahh] ]]

[[Norman is bi]]

They actually got introduced to eachother and had a proper arc when they went to the same college [which might've been a college in Redshore actually? But I'm not 100% sure on that headcanon. It would line up since Rosita's "wanted to perform in Redshore since she was a little kid" and Redshore is obviously a massive city with a lot of notoriety. Idk though- and it's not really that important to the story anyways]

Norman and Rosita had plans together- they were gonna make it big and live freely. Things were looking up with the lawmakers, who were finally repealing a bunch of nasty stuff that was put in place during the war times. And the two had hope that their dreams could actually be accomplished.

Rosita, who was originally gonna play it safe and become an engineer, was now thinking about attempting to become a performer [which Norman has supported since the beginning, he LOVES her singing, and often tells her that she's "better than some of the people I've heard on TV!"]

But. Life got in the way...

Present day, Norman works in Redshore at Crystal Enterprises. He's the head of some sort of organizational team- not really working on what he loves at this point.

And this is because of their children, who were a very sudden appearance in their lives [which is why we see so much struggle in the chaos at the beginning of the movie in this AU]

Rosita stopped everything, and Norman grabbed the first high-ish paying job he could, spending all his spare time on clocking in overtime hours.

The kids are all adopted, and there's only 6 now: Oldest Caspar [13], twin boys Mickey and Moe [11], middle child Kelly [9], little bro Freddy[8], and Zoey the sweet baby sister [6].

They became foster parents after the death of Rosita's sister [this hc is kinda subject to change, but this is the story rn. I'll specify on this later ☝️]

So Rosita's kinda put her life on hold for these babies. She's such a great mom to them, and they love her and Norman so much

But some of the older kids [Caspar specifically] are kinda in a rough phase since they feel like she resents them [which she doesn't], or that she isn't their "real mom" [which she IS]

This is like an E plot in the story, but definitely's gonna get at least a little bit of focus.

Rosita and Norman's marriage is falling apart just a little bit due to burnout, but it'll get better <3 [I can't do anything tragic to these two they're too sweet]

Norman snuggles up to Rosita in his sleep. Rosita starfishes LMAO

They wake up entangled. This is normal.

"Pig piles" are also a thing- there have been several nights where all six children "had nightmares" and so the family of 8 all slept in the same bed.

Norman has the best bond with the two girls out of all the children. They immediately latched onto him to be their level-headed dad.

Rosita can carry two kids at once easily, and often "relocates" them like this :>

She's probably the strongest out of everyone in the troupe if you don't count the potential Meena has. She solos.

She's constantly taking notes on everyone and everything around her. At the theater, you'll catch her tidying stuff up she spots out of the corner of her vision while you're having a conversation with her [she's still listening]. She knows everyones favorite foods, and allergies, and their preferences in things, etc. She's the most attentive and considerate out of all of them [the mom]

She may have a touch of OCD.

She gives the best hugs.

Rosita is also a FANTASTIC cook [not even a headcanon, I'm pretty sure the entire fandom agrees on this one] and often bakes stuff for her sweet-toothed children [and husband]

This is actually how she initially connected with Caspar, who refused to eat or speak at first when they were all placed with Rosita.

Cinnamon rolls.

Kelly will only eat the frosting off the top, and has ruined an entire pan before by doing this.

Rosita actually isn't the biggest fan of chocolate, small detail.

Idk why she just strikes me as not being an enjoyer.

Loves vanilla though. People are furious when she answers "vanilla" with zero hesitation to the chocolate vs vanilla question.

Norman is kinda a hopeless romantic, or at least really enjoys the aesthetic of it [in a sweet and not shallow way ofc], and goes all out every Valentine's Day: balloons, flowers, the works. He's learned that Rosita prefers strawberries over a box of chocolates, however. Has a tradition of getting a fruit basket for her <3

They also have a tradition from all the way back in college, where they go out to eat at specifically the in-universe equivalent of Olive Garden [which was the fanciest thing they could afford at the time] and eat a shared giant plate of spaghetti.

Norman loves coffee. Insists he likes it black but actually prefers a good 50:50 ratio of creamer and coffee.

Norman is also ☝️ lactose intolerant LMAO

[[or would be, if traditional milk was widely accessible/a thing. I say "lactose intolerant" but what I really mean is he's allergic to most milk substitutes- like nuts and soy [gives him tummy ache, not anaphylaxis] ]]

God, parenthesis are carrying me so hard rn.

Stopping here because I'm tired, but I could go ON about these two omg-

Normita forever rahhhh <3

[bluekitty-art]

a kiss with a fist is better than none 😳

based on this post

[genesisvirus]

don't twiddle your fingers.. ~

[shitpostingkats]

Yes, Ai, you're intentionally dressed like a fruit salad, we GET it.

[sobashahzadi]

comik me and frand working on uhm hope to release a chapter by paddy’s day!!! But here are some concept designs for the characters

[hexados-on-a-string]

before i go back into hibernation again. spectra and gus' mechtanium surge designs >>>>>>>>>>> their new vestroia designs. i think they're just cooler and less messy and all over the place. i also appreciate that it does actually look like they're older which is neat. also i think gus looks kinda like a prince.

[steakout-05]

quick post clarifying what i'm gonna do with my Crarry art and my Craig design moving forward

i just wanna make this post as short and sweet as i can as i've been struggling to find a way to write this in a coherent fashion (i'm VERY tired today, lol), especially with everything that's been going down in the fandom lately. people are not happy right now. this is a post meant to explain what i'm going to be doing with my Crarry stuff from now on, as well as how i'm gonna be using my fan design for Craig.

on the topic of my Craig x Barry art: i've been a little bit conflicted on what to do with it for a little bit, but i've mostly decided towards keeping it up on my blog for archival purposes. i don't like having to remove my art, especially when 1. it was made with the context that the (at the time) canon truth was that Barry and Craig were nothing but unrelated friends, and 2. it's still good art and it brought me a lot of joy when i first created it. i've regretted deleting art in the past and i think that i'd definitely regret deleting it now, especially if there was a threat of it becoming lost media and i didn't have the files to back it up. i care too much about my art to do that. so, it's all staying up on my blog, with the added disclaimer that it was made before August 17th 2024 and that it was obviously not supposed to portray weird incest stuff. can't do much about putting a disclaimer on it if it's already been reblogged though, so it's only gonna appear on the original post :/

on the topic of Craig himself: this is the bit i'm most excited about, but it's also the hardest bit to explain in a way that makes sense, so i'll try not to get ahead of myself here.

so, to start off with: in this post, i made some doodles showing an improved fan design i had made for Craig that portrays him as a blond nerdy guy with glasses and an injured eye. this is obviously not how Craig ended up looking like in canon and wasn't what i expected him to look like, it was something i made for myself and my own art. even so, he was practically just a skin applied to a pre-existing character whose personality had already been established. but now that the Craig i intended that design to be attached to has been revealed to be something we thought he wasn't (barry's entire freaking dad), i'm gonna do something a little different with my Craig to differentiate him from canon. i'm gonna take everything i liked about him before the reveal, retool him and his personality to better match the ideas and headcanons i had brewing in my head for him, and create a whole new canon for him to reside in. i've basically made him into a slightly divergent alternate version of canon Craig, basically. and it is incredibly self-indulgent, lol. (isn't that what being a creative is all about though..... self indulgence and insane storycrafting)

this bit might be slightly controversial, but what i'm planning with this version of Craig is that i'm gonna continue shipping Barry with him instead of Canon Craig like before. i really like the dynamic that Barry and Craig had in canon before the Dad Reveal Jumpscare Incident, with them sort of being polar opposites who would have some silly banter with each other, but also having a few similarities and shared interests that would bring them together, so that dynamic is gonna be brought over to this canon i've created for myself. it's basically gonna be a smorgasbord of everything i like about these characters with some expansions and slight changes to better fit with what i think would have been cool to see actually happen in canon. i'm likely gonna make a post about how i want to characterise my Craig later, but just know that 1. CranBarry is a thing in my little universe and 2. my Craig =/= Canon Craig and there will be a disclaimer explaining that on each fanwork i make depicting the ship from now on. i should probably give my Craig a last name so i don't have to keep calling him "my Craig" for disambiguation......

this hasn't been done out of spite or disrespect towards HB or anything at all. i'm disappointed with the change they made, and i do think it was very poorly executed, but at the end of the day, what happens in canon is not my story to write no matter how much i want to see in the series, and all i can do is sigh, shrug, pick up a pencil and start enacting the change i want to see for myself. i'm someone who believes that, while art can absolutely be criticised, it's up to the artist to decide what they want to do, and they don't have to cater to feedback if they don't want to. granted, it is a little different in Halfbrick's case because Jetpack Joyride is their product, and they are a sizable company who also makes money and business decisions and has a big audience and whatnot, but you get it right? it sucks, but like.... there's not really much you can do about it apart from write something you'd want to see.

so yeah, that's pretty much everything. i'm hoping this will go over well with everything that's happened because i really do love the gay little relationship i've given these two, i just can't continue doing it with the canon version of Craig for obvious reasons. the only problem i really see this causing is the very slight irritation that will come with possibly having to clarify this every time i post a Crarry thing. it'll probably be no biggie though, i'll just link to this post explaining everything. i sure do love coming up with incredibly convoluted solutions to simple problems looolll, it's my special talent at this point XD ahh well. if there's a bright side, it means i get to be even more self-indulgent and creative with these doofuses, and there might be some new headcanon and fanfic stuff coming later, as well as new Craig art. sucks that canon decided to fold in on itself, but i'm gonna try to ignore it for the most part.

[krikidilly]

Hilda and Roxie lesbians so real

[bluecollarmcandtf]

Revenge at the Frat House

"On your knees!" I pointed my mind control ray at the Co-Presidents of the frat. Their eyes glazed over and their legs buckled to the floor. I knew these jocks were finally mine.

The Alpha Tau Beta house was a giant mess, but it was easy to find on Frat Row. I crossed the overgrown lawn nervously, carrying my science experiment up to the front door.

This fraternity was well known for being intolerant. They'd berated me countless times at the university, but these idiots had no idea who they were beating up. Sure, I'm gay, but I was studying neuroscience, and this device was my crowning achievement. Hunter and Josh were my first test subjects.

I didn't honestly think it would work so well. The two athletes dropped quickly to their knees when I commanded. Their eyes fluttered lazily as they wobbled on the hardwood. It definitely looked like they were ready to be reprogrammed.

"What's going on..." the blonde jock groaned.

Hunter was the school's basketball star. Everybody fawned over his perfect smile. Nearly every advertisement for the school had the guy on it, wearing a sleeveless jersey that showed off his impressive wingspan.

Now, his muscular arms dangle limply at his side, twitching occasionally.

"What's going on is revenge!" I cried, "Remember me? You led your pack of fraternity goons over and had them rough me up because I had a rainbow flag on."

"Oh yeah... " he replied dumbly.

"Well things are different now," I continued, "You won't target any gay dude again!"

"I won't..." he automatically agreed.

"It was crazy that you were ever such a homophobe. After all, you're gay yourself."

"I am...?" his blank face furrowed in confusion.

"Oh yeah," I pushed the suggestion further, "You love men. You're the gayest guy on campus. Nothing makes you happier than flirting with all dudes you can."

"I'm the gayest man on campus..." the fraternity jock agreed with a cheesy smile. He seemed happy to find a new calling in life.

I know he meant it. My device was designed to embed these suggestions into his mind, body, and personality. Hunter was a full-on fruitcake, now. It wouldn't be long before he was coming onto his fraternity brothers or getting an erection with his teammates in the shower. As far as he knew, he had always loved men, and he couldn't wait to flaunt his attraction loudly.

"And you," I turned to Josh.

The second frat bro was slumped onto the floor with his jaw hanging open. He looked half asleep with the drool hanging off his chin.

"Me..." Josh slurred.

This guy was on the wrestling team, and while he wasn't the leader of the bullies like Hunter, he was almost always the first to get physical. I still remember the feeling of his beefy arms around my neck as he taught me his lesson. Now it was my turn to teach him a lesson.

"Josh, you're not gay like your buddy, but you are a wimp," I explain.

"I'm a wimp...?" he mumbles deliriously.

"Yup! Sure, you're strong and athletic, but you're a total pushover."

"I'm a pushover..." he let the words sink in.

"Literally every male you come across will intimidate you. And anyone that intimidates you can boss you around. It doesn't matter if they're older, younger, weaker, or stronger. They get to use you as they want, but you don't mind. Your body is just a tool to be used."

"I'm a tool..." Josh agreed.

"In fact, your mouth is the most useful thing about you," I added, "I mean think about all the things you can use it for. If your bro's shoes are dirty, you can lick them clean for him. Maybe he's sweaty after a work out; just offer to suck the sweat out of his pits. Heck, maybe he's too lazy to walk to the bathroom; your mouth is perfect for that too. There are so many ways to put that face hole to use."

"My mouth is a tool..." his lips fumbled the words but there was conviction in his eyes.

Josh was fully convinced of his extremely submissive personality. He was already normalizing different situations in his head where another dude would use him as they wanted, and it felt completely natural.

"Alright, I'm going to wake you two up," I decided.

Thumping them on the forehead with my mind control device, I snapped the fraternity jocks out of their subconscious state.

"Woah," Hunter winced, "What's going on?"

The basketball star caught his bearings, noticing me as I stood over him. Hunter had never looked at me with anything other than animosity, but in that moment, he licked his lips and batted his eyes. I could tell he liked what he saw.

"Well, hello handsome," the stud purred as he checked me out.

Hunter rose from the ground and sidled up to me, planting his massive palms on my waist as he stared down into my eyes. I knew he was displaying his most charming smile.

"Anything I can do for you, daddy?" he snickered mischievously.

"I'm not interested, at the moment," I said.

"Playing hard to get?" Hunter scoffed in disappointment and turned away with a sigh, "Josh, get over here!"

The burly wrestler flinched as his buddy called to him. Josh was still on the floor, trying to make his bulky frame as small as possible in the presence of real men. He'd only been able to cast nervous glances at our shoes as we stood over him, but he quickly scurried over to Hunter when he was called.

"Come on," Hunter growled at Josh, "Let me show this guy what I can do with my tongue. I'll see if he isn't interested then!"

Hunter quickly grabbed the back of his fraternity brother's head and pulled him up into a slobbery kiss. Josh barely had time to react, but he wasn't in a position to pull away. The pair of homophobic jerks made out with each other, with Hunter moaning loudly and Josh trying to keep up.

I enjoyed the scene. Hopefully, the rest of the fraternity would be back from that party soon. I wanted to see them walk in on their Co-Presidents making out in the living room.

Now that I knew my technology worked, I was planning to convert the rest of the brothers. They needed to understand Hunter and Josh's new roles in the frat house.

Soon, they would all be bullying Hunter for how gay he'd become, and they'd be using Josh in any way that amused them. I'd definitely gotten the revenge I wanted.

[pinetreevillain]

Pine all of your designs and characters are like the gayest men I've ever seen. Call yourself a multi level marketing scheme the way you mlm

This is the funniest thing anyone has ever said to me

[yellowocaballero]

One of the many things that I've been doing instead of writing are these damn manwha binges and Villain To Kill is literally so funny. The comic premise is straightforward action, think Tokyo Ghoul meets Solo Leveling - local Genetically Superpowered Superhero Cop working for corrupt Hero Organization gets #betrayed and #murdered and is reincarnated into the body of a Genetically Superpowered Villain Teenager so now he has to join up with all the other villain superpower people to get justice.

It's so 5/10. Cassian is extremely OP and the story isn't well-written enough to pull that off well. The worldbuilding is so incredibly nonsensical and weak that it falls apart if you think about it for more than five minutes (tried to write fic for it and failed because I would have had to rework the entire world - which, I could have, but that's a lot of effort for Villain to Kill). The plot is mostly any OP action hero plot where guy gets increasingly powerful by fighting increasingly powerful guys. Cassian himself has almost nothing going on internally, to the point of elegance. And it is somehow the gayest manwha I've ever read.

It's the fucking character designs. And like its narrative but it's the fucking 100/10 character designs. The entire cast's design and characters slam. There's not that much depth but we don't care. You know if we don't like somebody if they look vaguely straight, and you know that we like somebody if they look like they were set to tumble dry in the queerness washing machine. The (great!) women are high femme or hard butch. The corrupt institution assassinated a man Cassian loved and framed & murdered him, at which point he was adopted by a rag-tag bunch of flamboyant homosexuals deemed unacceptable and undesired by society who all teamed up and decided to villainize society in exclusively funny ways and spend most of their time gossiping or hacking the Pentagon. An AFAB character dresses as a man and goes by he/him pronouns half the time for no good reason. Cassian is physiologically incapable of thinking about anything but violence so the heartwarming found family scenario's going over his head, but his Painfully Het Hero Foil Indoctrinated Into Homophobia caught the found family ball and now he's dancing in their gay bars and dressing in drag. There's only a few characters who are explicitly gay but this is gayer than that.

I talked a while back about how important a decent supporting cast is to a good story, and this is yet again good proof. Looking at this, I think I'd go further and say - it's an action manwha, we're reading it for a reason, we don't need character-driven story arcs or really complex characters. I think it's just charisma. A story can go really far on characters with charisma.

TV Shows that are carried on the lead actor (Columbo I love you) - it's because the actor has charisma. You watch it to see the actor hang out being himself. That's way way harder to do in fiction, but I think that "a complex character" isn't necessarily a "charismatic character". I'd rather have a cast of only charismatic characters rather than only complex ones. A story of any genre needs a strong cast of charismatic characters. They can be deep or they can just be chaotic lesbians. Charisma invests the reader in the story and the characters. It's simple but it's really powerful. And it is fucking hilarious how sometimes all you need to do on that front is "Rupaul this shit".

I can't genuinely recommend Villain to Kill and this is not a recommendation. But random stuff always interests me like this, and I really had no idea that I would read 120ch of a manwha bc the designs fuck so hard. Also, like, this is queerest manwha I've ever read. Somehow. Fucking somehow.

[jumbledbee]

Just saw Venom 2

And let me just say, I think it’s an awful movie. The lighting? Lovely. The scenery? Stunning. The character designs? Sick. But the writing and half of the actors are so genuinely awful.

But it’s the gayest movie I’ve ever seen? Like, they literally made Venom go find himself at the gay club and give a speech about queer acceptance. They made Venom tell Eddie he loved him. They win because “they’re a match”. There are no themes to the movie, it’s solely a story about how Eddie and Venom need each other, how they make each other better.

That’s peak cinema.

[sohkrates]

It Drinks Light: The Origins of the Xenomorph and LoadingReadyRun's Heat Death

In previous drafts of this essay I spent paragraphs outlining my love of the Alien films, defending Alien 3 and Resurrection, and using that to lead into why you would enjoy an Alien RPG actual play series called Heat Death. But I just spent a lot of money on a tattoo that I think will speak to my bona fides:

I like the Alien franchise. I like Geiger’s xenomorph, I like the clunky cassette futurism imagined in those 80’s movies. It feels increasingly like a much needed antidote to modern digital interfaces, and the maddeningly undefiled aesthetics of the corporate digital age.

But after I saw Prometheus and then Covenant it became very apparent to me that Ridley Scott isn’t interested in the parts of the universe that I am interested in. Or at least, his answers to those questions aren’t particularly satisfying.

There are some good things in those movies, don’t get me wrong. The moment when the two Michael Fassbenders have flute lessons is some of the gayest shit in the series, right alongside Ripley and Call having come good ol’ fashioned knife play in Resurrection.

The prequels also continue the theme established in the first few movies that the whims of the rich and powerful will doom us all in general, and the people who work for them specifically. Their corporations are shown time and again to be fundamentally opposed to human flourishing. True as it ever was.

But that’s kinda it for me.

The question at the heart of these prequels is “Where did the xenomorph come from?” to which they answer:

Some sort of chemical weapon or tool synthesized by tall aliens called engineers for ambiguous purposes. Millenia later this was discovered and hijacked by a singular android of human design, flawed in all the ways its creator was flawed. Some iterations and experiments later we get the xenomorphs we recognize. 

Admittedly there may be more nuance than that. But as far as I can tell any further details are all muddled in cut content and unskilled storytelling.

Ultimately, according to the prequels thus far, the xenomorph is something we did to ourselves.

That is not a particularly engaging answer to me. I don’t really care about how the titular alien came to be. I don’t need to see the engineers, or the origins of the space jockey. I liked it when it felt like that tall alien was merged with the cockpit, when it looked like one organism, a new and novel form of life from another evolutionary path completely unlike our own.

And if you feel the same, I have something to recommend to you. 

Heat Death is an actual play series made by the Canadian comedy/streaming troupe LoadingReadyRun in 2020 as part of their Dice Friends series. They did 6 episodes where Cameron, the GM, leads 4 players through their own scenario in the official Alien RPG.

And it’s one of the best Alien stories I’ve ever seen.

Cameron provides much more interesting answers to the questions Ridley Scott keeps asking, and in a method that compliments the familiar set up of Alien films. A typical day in the life of spacers is interrupted by a combination of corporate malfeasance and/or the existence of the xenomorph.

The setup of Heat Death is thus: The crew of the research vessel Ludomia, our PC’s and NPC’s for the series, wake up on a strange and grandiose space station called New Eden. Their vessel is missing, the rest of their crew is missing, and they have no idea where they are. They seek answers, they seek escape, and they try to figure out what was happening here hidden in the shadows of space.

And in typical Alien fashion, it all goes to hell.

Part of the reason the series works so well for me is because the GM has a background in the sciences. This helps when the characters are confronted with the truly alien things they find. I am an amateur appreciator of things like biology and astronomy ,and so there is just enough detail to make me feel like I know what’s happening, but also enough unfamiliar jargon that I feel an appropriate sense of awe and dread. Cameron doesn’t talk down to his audience or his players, he describes the world in ways that would make sense to the character’s point of view, and offers explanations and details when prompted.

The xenomorph’s biology is described as being reminiscent of Teflon, an immediately startling non sequitur.

The primordial black goo from the prequels is described as incredibly hazardous to human beings through exacting technical terminology. It makes it seem real and dangerous. In the prequels it always felt flat and… out of place.

I like Heat Death because Cameron and the players are actively investigating the question of the origins of the xenomorph without limiting the possibility space. It’s not a closed loop that begins and ends at LV-426 with the space jockey and its ship. Instead we see a possible answer to what is waiting for us in the stars, a galactic ecology that we have stumbled into and are ill-equipped to handle. It makes the machinations of Weyland-Yutani seem even more feeble and doomed.

It also works so well because the players are all in on it. They lean into the themes of the franchise, of roughnecks who shoot first, of commanders in over their head, and corporate representatives quietly manipulating things to their own end. There’s no power gaming or looking to get the upper hand or finding an optimal path to survival. They see the awfulness coming and they don’t look away.

There’s more that I could recommend about this series, but I run the risk of giving away too much. There’s the poetic introductions to each episode that give breadth to the fiction. The investigations of different bits of lore and tech, from faster than light travel to how synthetics work. But I guess I’ll end by going over all the players and their characters.

First there’s Commander Roman Moritaka, played by Ian, who I think more than anyone leans into the doomed nature of the storytelling. Ian is always ready to make the obvious mistake and try to do the most reasonable thing in an unreasonable situation. One of my favourite moments in the game comes from Roman making telemetry calculations. How many AP’s do you know that bother with the drama of rocket science?

Then there’s Clinton Barker played by Alex, a colonial marine who thinks in equipment and utility, and has no time for metaphor or theory. Alex is also obviously an Alien fan and someone who knows military tech and lingo, which lets him launch into interesting asides and funny anecdotes that punctuate the story.

There’s Gregory Sinclair Jr., the corporate liaison played by Cori. He is a perfect mix of uselessness and cold corporate comfort. Cori plays him relentlessly, a perfectly willing pawn right into the final moments of the final episode, and a constant needle in everyone’s side.

And then there’s Harris Schafer, played by Adam. Harris is a laid back academic and scientist, which makes them a great foil for the other characters and the perfect POV character to let us know just how bad things are, much like Adam himself. Adam is a great addition to the table, always willing to ask the basic questions and react in relatable ways.

I’ve already mentioned Cameron, and as GM he plays all the NPC’s with depth, and deftly cuts between scenes, heightening moments of tension and underlining moments of impending dread. His obvious writing ability is on full display. It feels like he loves this stuff. And in a way that Ridley Scott kinda doesn’t. Not in the same way. There’s curiosity and time and thought on display here, and I really appreciate that.

And that’s it. You should watch it, especially if you like the alien series and the art of actual play. It’s good. It’s on Youtube and it’s on podcasts. Check it out. Let me know what you think. Recommend me some other Alien fanfiction.

And if you would have liked to have read this earlier, or would like more essays and stuff like this, kick me a couple of bucks on Patreon. If folks like this sort of thing, I may do more essays. Heck, I'll probably do them if you hate it.

[sanctuarypress]

Tayen Core is now public release!

Well, folks, I've finally gotten there. After long, grueling development of my heartbreaker project, a fully functional d20 TTRPG, Tayen Core is now available for purchase.

Reviews from my playtesters:

"An adventurous and experimental romp through a complete reimagining of the d20 ttrpg paradigm" - Bean "I don't think I could come up with anything actually good" - Malady "The most intense examining of one's role within a fictional adventure along with the gayest world that ever was" - Sage "A refreshing take on game design that gives players old and new a chance to create amazing stories together" - Sophie "This system is gay as hell" - Wintyr "This system would cause major dysfunction in my family were it to be leaked" - Anarcho "Requires a little more character setup than dnd, but easier to play overall. very gay, very inspired, very worth" - Crimson "I hear the dragons are real weird" - Kassiopeia

Pricing:

For one week only, Tayen Core is 33% off its $15 price tag! Come pick it up for $10 and change!

If you can't afford Tayen and want to play, fear not! A site a la Archives of Nethys is incoming in the next bit, you'll just have to wait.

Link:

I'll reblog this with a link in a second!

[thebekashow]

Had the most gayest dream ever.

UMM WARNING THIS IS VERY SUGGESTIVE

.

.

Narrator was narrating about Stanley, the casual stuff. And then suddenly when Stanley was about to commit "cold feet" ending, The narrator stopped.

"Stanley.. you know. We have so much time on our hands. Nobody's around.. what say you and i have some fun?" the narrator said, his voice hushed and seductive. He teleports Stanley to a small but very rich apartment. "It only seems fitting. We're two men. Its not like any employees are going to bust in, are they?"

So Stanley goes into a bedroom, and there's a large bed with rose petals surrounding it and some candles on the walls. "Just you, me.. and the bucket.." he whispered, more seductively.

The door opens and My fucking design of Narrator is standing infront of Stanley, and pins him to the bed. "Yes.. lets just enjoy this moment stanley." The bucket said. Narrator chuckled and closed the door, before locking it and taking off his jacket off.

AND THEN I WOKE UP.