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orange-foxes · 2 months ago

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Social Media

📱 The Truth Behind It by wematch (3k)

Neil finally makes a Twitter account the year after he leaves the Foxes. His PR has been nagging him about making a social media account since he joined the team but ultimately he uses it to annoy Andrew. Of course things escalate and the rumours of a rivalry between the two form, that is until Neil clarifies everything.

📱 Catfish by likearecord (22k)

There’s very little Andrew likes less than being tricked, but not knowing things does make the cut. He stands, throws his messenger bag over his shoulder, grabs his coffee, and stomps over to slide into the chair across from the guy. He looks up at Andrew with a flash of calculated flight or fight in his eyes, but he quickly smooths this over and affixes a look of polite interest on his face. “Can I help you?” “Are you on Grindr?” Andrew asks. Bluntly. “Uh,” the guy says, looking more confused. “I don’t know. What is it?” “It’s a hookup app gay men use.” “Oh,” he says, frowning. “No, I’m definitely not on that.” “Because you don’t do gay men?” The guy shrugs. “Because I don’t do hookups.”

📱 Funky Happenings with the Fox Family by dobbypussypopper (29k)

naughtygayweedcrime: did I rlly just see neil say woke naughtygayweedcrime: what a surreal timeline we live in dumbfool: allison is trying to teach me how to meme so I can get hip naughtygayweedcrime: bless your poor soul davidwymack: sometimes I regret living davidwymack has muted exyllent, damnwilds, + 7 others for 30 minutes

📱 The societies we despise by This_Witch_Writes (5k)

Technically it all started because of two cats. Andrew’s phone number had been leaked and he was waiting on a new sim card. So when Neil saw the cats, one black and one ginger, play fighting beside the Chicago Bean, he had tweeted the picture to him instead of texting it. An innocent enough tweet on the surface, tagging Andrew and adding the caption “us”. To Neil, Andrew and their family, an obvious and even uncharacteristically sappy statement of long-held affection. To exy fans on the internet, a declaration of war.

📱 Reputation by lemonicee (8k)

The rise and fall of the Minyard-Josten Rivalry. Usually when Neil starts shit in a post-game press interview, he does it on purpose. This time, he really just meant for it to be a joke. “How do you feel about the possibility of ending up on a team with a former Fox teammate?” is the next question. “Great,” Neil answers, sincere. “I would love to play with Matt or Kevin again.” “What about Minyard? Would you sign with Atlanta?” Neil says, “Andrew? He’s a nightmare.” He knows it’s a joke. His team knows it’s a joke. Andrew will know it’s a joke. The press does not seem to know that it’s a joke.

📱 likes: exy by djhedy (32k)

Allison: ok look I have an idea Neil: oh no Allison: you’re not going to love it Neil: I already said oh no Allison: we should sign you up to tinder! Neil: …how do you leave whatsapp

📱 all that i’ve been dreaming of by bazookajo94 (5k)

Exy fanboy Neil Josten stumbles across roleplaying Twitter accounts. Lonely and curious, he requests one for literally any of the players from the professional exy team Palmetto State Foxes. Someone calling themselves rp_aaaaaminyard03 responds. Andrew Minyard, bored with life, the universe, and everything, makes a fake roleplay account on Twitter. He is roleplaying himself. He is rp_aaaaaminyard03.

📱 In Which Neil Josten is a PR Nightmare by CoverYourEyes (14k wip)

Eve was not the best person in the world. Sometimes she didn’t hold the elevator open when she saw people rushing to catch it from the other side of the lobby. Cutting the line at Starbucks was a semi-regular action. But Eve did not deserve to be Neil fucking Josten's publicist. ********** Or, the one where Neil does what he wants, picks fights with reporters, discovers Twitter, breaks the internet, and really shouldn't be allowed out of his house. Andrew does nothing to discourage him.

📱please tell me it's just the fandom freaking out by OneSweetMelody

Neil Josten @neiljos10 Sadly @ajminyard isn’t too excited about that face off Neil Josten @neiljos10 Maybe @ajminyard will learn how to block an offside bouncer before then. Or any shot.

📱 Talk All Night for Nothing by ipromisetostaywild (20k)

Andrew Minyard is a vlogger on YouTube, doing quite well for himself despite the fact that he never shows his face to the camera. He may just change his no-face policy, however, after meeting a certain vlogger who wants to do a collaboration. OR Andrew edits other people’s videos, makes his own, & becomes totally smitten with a blue-eyed boy.

📱 We Never Go Out Of Style by dancingongasoline (28k)

“Allison is pretty famous around the younger celebs,” Renee said when she saw Andrew’s eyes linger on the mass of people slowly filtering into the room. “There’s a lot of people here; didn’t think it was this anticipated.” Andrew murmured, leaning closer into Renee’s side. The woman hummed, her eyes straying from row to row. “It’s probably because Neil is gonna walk.” Andrew had heard that name before. Neil Josten. Or Neil is a supermodel at the height of his career, and Andrew is a famous actor from the Marvel franchise.

📱 We'll Make It Happen by honorarystar (2k)

“Why would I want to share pictures of my personal life with strangers though?” Neil slumped down in his seat on the lounge couch. He wished that he had waited for Andrew instead of getting to practice early. This could have been avoided. “It’s Instagram. Who cares?” Allison was looking at Neil like he was the insane one for not grasping this concept.

📱 POV: Your best friend is Neil Josten by NeilsStrawberries (3k)

Allison Reynolds is not only a talented Exy player and renowned fashion designer, but also an extremely famous blogger. A little while ago, she started a new trend: POV: Your best friend is Neil Josten. * Or, a sequence of videos recorded by Alliso

#aftg #aftg fic rec #aftg fanfiction #the foxhole court fanfiction #andreil #andrew/neil #masterpost #social media #all for the game

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trashprinceward · 9 months ago

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EVERYONE LISTEN UP, THIS IS IMPORTANT!

I'm going to talk about the history of Tumblr, the current state of Tumblr, and why you should get out.

And you can call me a hypocrite, sure. But as an artist who depended a lot on commissions and art sales, I only came back to Tumblr because this is where the audience and active fandoms are. If it weren't for that, I wouldn't be here.

So, you've probably heard people calling tumblr "the queerest place on the internet". Probably more ironically that sincerely, lately. But the reason for this is that, at one point, it was true. Tumblr was synonymous with gay shit, all over the internet. That was this site's reputation. To the point that what the right wingers call "woke" these days, used to be called "tumblr shit". Tumblr was the BIGGEST resource for LGBT+ communities, information, advice and connection. That was here, on this site. Ask boxes thrived with friendship and fun games, artists got regular commissions and their work was shared. And, as much of a cliche as it may be to say this, Tumblr was a 'safe space'.

Then everything changed in 2018. I don't know how many of you were here for that, but that's when all this started. That's when we had porn bots. They'd start reblogging random posts, adding pictures of straight up porn. Naked people, straight up fucking. No tags, no warnings. Just uncensored porn and those stupid "click here to fuck me" captions. They were everywhere, constantly. And staff did nothing about it. No moderation, no kind of adding verification or new accounts. They just let the problem fester. Why should they care? Until they were threatened with being kicked off the app store, at least. Then they moved to do something about it.

So, instead of pulling together a human moderation team, or temporarily limiting new accounts, or doing any kind of intuitive policing of these spam bots, they just decided to make a blanket ban of all NSFW content, the enforcing of which would be carried out by AI bots. This, as you can probably guess, was a monumental failure. Anything that remotely looked like naked flesh was tagged as mature (a particularly infamous example features a picture of sand dunes being tagged as mature). And perhaps most tellingly of this failure, it didn't get rid of porn bots.

What it did get rid of though, was artists. Myself included. I was a mature artist. I had a NSFT sideblog. I sold commissions, I made money. It wasn't exactly career level, but I made enough that commissions helped me to eat when all my money went on bills. Then that was gone. Even SFW art wasn't entirely safe, because if the bot decided that your art had too much "skin" in it, you were flagged. (And at the time, I drew a lot of Jojo art, so I was screwed on that front.) So I had to leave. To find a new site where I could post my art, and try to continue selling commissions. The problem with this? Only a handful of people followed me offsite. I had roughly 300 followers on here. About 5 came with me to twitter. And then about 2 came with me to pillowfort. I had lost everything. Artists all over lost their following, lost their support, lost their income. All because people couldn't be bothered to boycott their funny fandom website.

But that wasn't all. Because now staff saw they had an opportunity. This bot they had created, was going around flagging anything mature, sometimes outright deleting posts or banning blogs that were too 'NSFT'. So... What group is often inherently seen as NSFT or sexualised? Yep, you guessed it. The queer community. And so that's what they did. They struck it all down. The biggest LGBT community on the internet, and they used the "porn ban" excuse to start flagging and deleting blogs. Never touched the nazi blogs, or the white supremacists, or that one blog that would doxx gay people in homophobic countries. Nope, they were left alone. But the most prominent, notable and well known queer blogs were gone. And again, the majority of the userbase was ok with this. They stayed.

I left this site for 5 years. And I tried to make it work elsewhere, I really did. I went to twitter. But over there nobody retweets work, nobody comments on your art. I only had like 2 regular supporters. I haven't gained followers in YEARS. Literally the only reason I still post to twitter is because Airdorf retweets FAITH fanarts. I tried going to pillowfort, which is honestly like a BETTER version of Tumblr. But, it was empty. Nobody was there. I even offered to give out free invite links to pillowfort so other people could join up too! Nobody ever responded to me. So I gave up. After 5 years with almost no interaction, almost no commission sales. No friends, nobody to talk to, nothing to do, nowhere to go... I came back here. And interaction is so much better (even though it's still a struggle to get people to actually talk to me). But I hate being here because I know what this site is like.

Also I know how complacent people are. The things they did back then, they're still doing now. Flagging trans women as mature, straight up banning them for no reason, spreading around campaigns of hate. Its STILL happening. And you're all still here sitting "oh this is awful, this website is transphobic" and then go back to reblogging memes. I saw a poll recently that asked what people would do if tumblr closed down or kicked them out, and the majority answer was just "give up social media completely" and it's like, really? There are plenty of alternatives out there. Artists and creators, and LGBT activists and whoever have been BEGGING you to join us, but you just wont. People would rather sit in this sinking ship till it goes down than make the leap and follow us into the lifeboats.

And I'm saying this again now because there have been talks about tumblr making a deal with midjourney. Because they want to feed all our art, our selfies, our hard work into the AI slop machine. So history is repeating itself again, and once more artists will be begging you to please come with us. Please get off this site. Please come to a place that isn't actively trying to get rid of us.

Me... I'll be staying here as long as I'm able because this is the only place I have any kind of audience. But if you can, if you care about friends, if you care about artists, if you care about queer people. PLEASE come with us. If the worst comes to it, then I'll be leaving for pillowfort. Please, PLEASE come with me. I have invitations, I can send you one so you can join. Send me a message and ask me. Just please, don't die with this place.

#tumblr #artists on tumblr #transphobia

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duckyfruitbat · 4 months ago

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Oh Yeah Free Fur All Was a Thing

Quick question, when you think of the furry fandom, what do you think their political alignment is? If you guessed overwhelmingly left wing, you'd be correct. It's no secret that most of the fandom is in some way LGBT and usually has a college education. Hell recently there was a gay furry hacker group that attacked the Heritage Foundation over Project 2025. This is a fandom where vore the rich is a regular saying. Although don't do that last thing, you don't know where Jeff Bezos has been, he can't be good for the colon...oh yeah and I guess cannibalism is bad, but that's just what society wants you to think.

Ducky why are you bringing up politics with the furry fandom?

Well I'm glad you asked, incredibly sexy stranger in my room. It's because in 2022 and 2023 someone decided to host a right wing furry convention called Free Fur All, and to say it bombed would be considered charitable.

Granted this convention advertised itself as more centrist but looking at the guest list, you get things like a fascist and the Confederate fur suit guy. The story behind the convention is just being against cancel culture and was spearheaded by two controversial members of the fandom that ended up getting into a messy divorce. All the while stirring up the usual twitter controversy along the way.

This convention looked like it was gearing up to be a complete disaster. However, it did not blow up in a horrendous way, it was more sad, and pitiful. Someone once said about it "We were expecting a dumpster fire, but instead we just got a dumpster." Attendance was very low, at around 200, to the point where the rave event had only a few people dancing, and one of them was an organizer. There was a singular ball pit that looks like it was purchased at Walmart the night before. There was also an ethically questionable exotic animal rescue attending.

There was also a second one that had an even lower attendance, with numbers being under 100 and that includes the staff. The ad for it once again leaned heavily on the anti-cancel culture angle, the audio mixing was terrible, and it had a Ben Shapiro AI voice. At the event itself, they couldn't even get a DJ for the rave, the fursuit parade was sparse, oh and the ball pit came back.

Now it is 2024 and the convention has been delayed indefinitely due to internal issues. A mix of the Awoo organization's president Peacewolf resigning, and the event "not being in any shape to attempt a convention."

So that's how this one ends, not with a bang or a whimper, but with the quiet wet slapping sound you hear as a sock falls out of the washing machine. It's barely thought about now except as a punchline. Not much to do now other than spin around in my chair...ugh now I feel nauseous.

#duckyfruitbat #rambling #furry fandom #furry convention

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qnewsau · 9 months ago

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Brisbane comedian Mel Buttle marries her partner

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/brisbane-comedian-mel-buttle-marries-her-partner/

Brisbane comedian Mel Buttle marries her partner

Brisbane comedian Mel Buttle has married her girlfriend in a beautiful wedding ceremony in the Gold Coast hinterland.

Mel, who’s very private about her relationship with her partner of over five years, shared a series photos of her wedding day to Instagram on Monday.

She and her partner tied the knot at a ceremony in Queensland’s Scenic Rim region, at a location 90 minutes south west of Brisbane.

The comedian – who’s a huge Matildas fan – wrote in the post, “In light of Hayley Raso not replying to my numerous DM’s, I married my partner instead.”

As well as congratulatory messages from comedy colleagues and fans, Matildas winger Hayley Raso herself also responded, “Well hi… And congrats,” with a love heart emoji.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by MEL BUTTLE (@melindabuttle)

Mel Buttle and partner had first child in 2022

Mel Buttle and her partner first announced they were engaged in early 2021. In November 2022, Mel shared that her partner had given birth to their first child, Harry, that September.

Mel told KIIS 97.3FM at the time, “It’s a big announcement and I want to get it done, one for attention and two to tell everyone in one hit so I don’t have to go and keep telling people.

“I don’t quite know how to say it. I have… I’ve got a baby. I have a baby. I’m not joking.

“This isn’t a ‘bit,’ I’m not going to trick you… I have a seven week old baby. My partner and I had a baby.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by MEL BUTTLE (@melindabuttle)

“He’s a boy. I’ve been a bit reluctant to put him on the Internet, to put him on social media because I thought, he’s got a right to privacy.

“Why am I telling all these people I don’t know that I’ve got a baby?”

Mel Buttle is a regular on the Australian stand-up circuit, and also keeps us laughing with her prolific Instagram and TikTok videos.

Earlier this month Mel co-hosted the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras Parade telecast.

This weekend, the comedian is kicking off her new Not Here To Put Socks On Centipedes tour at HOTA, on the Gold Coast with further dates all over the country.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by MEL BUTTLE (@melindabuttle)

For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

#comedy #Lesbian #same-sex marriage

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stranger-theory · 11 months ago

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i genuinely don't know. there was a lot of cool bylers on tiktok but all the comments are milevens calling us delulu. i think milevens on tiktok have a lot of potential for good debates, but they just like to spend their time replying with "no" to byler comments.

after i started getting tired of it i got reddit to see how it was there. and PLEASE trust me, do NOT go on r/strangerthings if you're a fan of byler. it is so incredibly toxic on there. if you say ANYTHING byler related, either your comment gets downvoted to oblivion, or it just straight up gets deleted. if anything you should go on r/byler. its a very small community with maybe ten people who regularly post there, but they have a lot of good discussions that i think are worth checking out.

after both of those attempts at seeing which is more byler friendly, i decided to try tumblr. so far tumblr is the most byler friendly place ive been on. i have not seen any aggressive antibyler posts/comments here YET, so i'd say that's pretty good. at most i saw maybe two comments. AND WHILE CHECKING OUT A MILEVEN BLOG THEY WERE JUST MAKING CUTE FANART. I WAS SO SURPRISED TO SEE THAT INSTEAD OF POSTS SAYING WE WERE DELUSIONAL. i don't know if that was pure luck, but it just goes to show that people here are more accepting.

and lastly i'm going to BRIEFLY mention twitter. i have not gone on twitter to see what it is like, but from the several people warning me NOT to go on it, i'm going to say, Don't. i've seen screenshots here and there about the mikevens there and omg they do NOT care in the slightest about the hurtful and homophobic words they are typing😭

that moves me to my final point, the difference.

tiktok had people who were 100% aware that will was gay, they just couldn't see how mike could be queer. they spend their time denying byler even being a possibility rather than explaining their own perspective.

reddit had people who admitted they only watched stranger things like once and didn't really care for it. they also for some reason don't want to accept that will is gay?? idk what that's about.

(but please do check out r/byler<3)

twitter is so incredibly homophobic it's actually concerning. am i surprised? not really, no. the slurs they use as if they speak them on a regular basis sure is something💀

and lastly, MY POOKIE TUMBLR🫶 she slays. y'all are so nice here. i think out of all of these, tumblr is the most welcoming, smart, and generally willing to hear anyone out.

i enjoyed this ramble quite a bit. i'm so glad i got tumblr, and would definitely recommend getting it. have a good morning, evening, or night, people.

ya'll what is up with m!levens being so mean on tiktok? Like i'm a multishipper (even tho i very much prefer byler) so maybe i just dont get it? But i don't understand not at least respecting opinions???

idk i only made this post cuz i was going through byler tts and all of the sudden hate ones were popping up every few and i was caught off-guard

#byler #stranger things #mike wheeler #will byers #byler is canon #byler endgame #reddit #twitter #tumblr #tiktok #byler tumblr #byler reddit #byler twitter #byler tiktok #rant

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lady-lazagna · 2 years ago

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MFB Phone Headcanons- Pt:2

(Here's part 1/Legendary bladers edition) How I think the Beyblade characters would communicate with each other/use social media :)

Madoka: Usually uses proper grammar/punctuation in all her texts but WILL YELL IN ALL CAPS IF NECESSARY. Only uses the heart emojis, does text emoticons for faces >:) Tried really hard not to get too into social media at first, but the likes are just so validating! All her followers are just so nice! Really popular on bey modding TikTok.

Benkei: Sends people good morning/goodnight texts regularly. Also checks in on as many people as he can as often as he can. ALL OF HIS TWEETS ARE IN ALL CAPS. Acts like an old man on TikTok, only uploads the occasional video to tell a story or show off something neat he found (like a cool bug or smth).

Tsubasa: Prefers texting over calls, but still only does it out of necessity. Doesn't really get the hype of social media, but likes to check in to see what his friends are up to. Posted one (1) photo of himself at the beach and blew up for some reason?🤔

Yu: "Ya got games on ya phone?" all day every day, even though he has his own phone with about a million games on it. Age restrictions on social media? Well, good thing he was born in 1965 :)) Tried to make a twitter account but Tsubasa drew the line at letting him see that shit.

Masamune: A prime clout chaser. Will send memes specifically to people that can't possibly understand them at ridiculous hours of the night. Sends reaction memes to respond to people instead of saying anything half of the time. Loves sharing every thought he has on Twitter and TikTok because everyone needs to hear what he has to say. Accidentally blew up on LGBT TikTok before he realised he was gay.

Hikaru: Loves a long call with someone filled with nothing but shit talking others. Sure, she loves her job, but given the opportunity to complain and she'll be on the phone for hours. Is more of an observer rather than a participant on social media, but will occasionally post a picture of a nice outfit she bought or a particularly pretty makeup look, just to keep up the image that she's doing fine :)

Ryo: Does the classic Old Person thing of ending random sentences like this... Also signs off every single text with his name, just in case you forgot who's number this is. DO NOT LET HIM ON SOCIAL MEDIA OF ANY KIND. Blader DJ let him be in charge of the WBBA official TikTok for one day and he spammed the app with "pranks" he played on his employees (STEALING MY SECRATARY'S STAPLER😂🤣😅🤪), terrible dances, and "yelling whatever you guys tell me to say in the middle of the office" (Masamune told him to say fuck these hoes. He said fuck these hoes).

Hyoma: The cell service in Koma is pretty fritzy so he has to travel pretty far out of the village to talk to his friends, but most of the time he prefers to send letters, anyway. Once he learned what the fuck a "Tick Tock" was, he started uploading little stories about Koma, videos overlooking the nice scenery of the village, and trying to see if Hokuto reacts like a regular dog to certain things (think "seeing how my dogs reacts when I play a squeaking sound"). Hokuto is not amused.

#mfb #metal fight beyblade #beyblade #madoka amano #benkei hanawa #tsubasa otori #yu tendo #masamune kadoya #hikaru hasama #ryo hagane #beyblade hyoma #headcanons

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 3 years ago

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In Germany a gay couple was attacked by a Muslim. One of them died, the media is more or less silent because they don't know what to say.

His motives are obvious, but nobody wants to speak it out loud. If it would be an old white man, the outrage would be huge. If it would have been a nazi there would be a funeral March. Am I the only one who thinks France is doing a great job after this brutal beheading of a teacher?

I just keep coming back to what Yasmine Mohammed said.

From: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTIvCx4Y1ng :

(On silencing criticism of Islam with accusations of “Islamophobia”) “Yeah, it’s tiring. It is absolutely ridiculous. I feel like the double standard with speaking about Islam versus speaking about any other religion is just so nonsensical to me. And I feel like it comes from a place of people being scared of the bully.

‘These guys killed the Charlie Hebdo cartoonists, these guys are ISIS, these guys have their trucks of peace, these guys are bombing kids and Ariana Grande concerts, let’s not say anything about them, because we don’t want them to kill us.’

That’s not a good strategy. Since when has our response to bullies been ‘let’s just do whatever [they say].’ If your child has a bully taking their lunch money every day, are you gonna tell your kid ‘just give them your money every day, and just do whatever he wants, and never say anything bad about him.’ That’s not a good strategy.”

So, you’ve got a bully whose self-nominated representatives are completely prepared to kill you on its behalf, knowing with full certainty what it wants and why it wants it. This is “those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.”

Secondly, you’ve got a misguided sense of “tolerance” that turns a blind eye to Islam because of the thoroughly racist view that it’s brown people staunchly defending themselves from white colonizers from the US, France, Germany, etc. They echo the talking points: “Islam is a religion of peace!” “Nothing in the quran endorses this violence!” “They’re not a true Muslim!”. These are Enablers. Sometimes called useful idiots.

You can spot them on Twitter saying things like “how about we all just not draw Muhammad” when they’d never say the same thing about not doing Gay Jesus or Piss Jesus. Whether they’re afraid of the bully or signalling their own personal virtue of not being “Islamophobic,” a combination of the two, or in regular old denial is difficult to tell.

The end result is undeniable though. Islam, the idea, the bully, attains protected status and even treated like a racial category, even when it’s clearly not.

While its victims - such as apostates, veiled women, gays - are ignored or even blamed. Such as by online Twits defending beheadings for not simply bending the knee to its censorious, illiberal demands.

Groups pretending to be advocates for women, LGBT and atheists spend their time on navel-gazing first world concerns such whether air conditioning is sexist, or traffic lights are racist.

And yes, it’s hypocritical. It’s the Bigotry of Low Expectations. That we need a separate standard of behavior for those who follow Islam. You know, because their volatile “religious sentiments” mean we can’t expect them to reach the same standard we expect of Xians or atheists. We can’t expect them to not go off the rails and behead people at the whiff of a Muhammad picture. That we need to lower our expectations and instead tiptoe around the bully.

For most Muslims who live in secular societies, this isn’t an issue. They might not like pictures of Muhammad or whatever, but they know their religious rules apply to them, and not non-adherents. They choose to live in these secular societies to practice their religion without interference, and know they must afford the same right to others. This is, of course, in defiance of what the quran actually says. As Yasmine puts it, they’re good people, but not good Muslims.

But for others - the good Muslims who are not good people - this isn’t enough. Allah’s (i.e. Muhammad’s) will is to be done, and the authorization of a god overrides mere human law. They will actually say this, point blank.

The secular wall surrounding personal beliefs exists for a reason. It protects the believer from being coerced as much as it protects the believer from doing the coercing. This wall must be vigilantly guarded. In the scheme of things, it probably doesn’t matter that some hillbilly town puts the a monument of the Ten Commandments out the front of their courthouse/tackle shop. But there’s a reason groups like The Satanic Temple contest these. Making concessions, allowing cracks to form in the secular wall, invites more to be made. How can you deny Islam - or even a different religion - just one little concession when you’ve already done so for Xianity?

There’s a difference between beliefs and values, and as far as I can tell, France has been clear and consistent about their values. They’re the same values native French Muslims grew up with, and the same values immigrant Muslims agreed to when (purportedly) seeking a better life in France, a country famously known for being staunchly secular. It’s like going to McDonald’s and complaining that everything has an “M” logo on it.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Samuel_Paty#International_organisations

Muslim World League

Sheikh Muhammad bin Abdul Karim Issa , Secretary General of the Muslim World League , said "acts of violence and terrorism were crimes in all religions," he also suggested that such situations might be avoided by "refrain(ing) from stirring hatred by insulting religion," making an appeal against the unnecessary incitement of violence through the circulation of incendiary literature.”

Organisation of Islamic Cooperation

The Organisation of Islamic Cooperation said that although they denounced "all acts of terror in the name of religion" it would continue to oppose "continued publication" of what it called "blasphemous cartoons". It added that it was the "suggestions of certain French leaders … that risk submerging French-Muslim relations".

These are not really the unequivocal condemnations that you would expect if Islam was actually a religion of peace. They’re the equivalent of “I’m sorry you’re upset, but I wouldn’t keep hitting you if you’d just do what I tell you to.”

It couldn’t be that they just stop going straight to violence and killing people whenever they get upset.

Apparently expecting that is “Islamophobic.” Which tells you who the bigot really is.

(Sorry, this question has been in my Inbox for quite a while.)

#ask #islam #islamic violence #france #Samuel Paty #beheading #behead those who insult islam #blasphemy #religion of violence #religion of peace #islamophobia #religion #religion is a mental illness

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hostilemuppet · 10 months ago

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PART FOUR (snack pack edition)

smidge: poppys royal adviser who occasionally helps with audio mixing since we made poppy both a queen and a popstar who gives a shit anymore. initially not in the spotlight, she is caught by paparazzi sharing a stoutberry soda with poppy after the "breakup". she is thrilled by the immediate rumours of her being poppys rebound and she takes the opportunity to capitalise on the controversy. she starts constantly shittalking branch on twitter, but she makes sure to clear with him privately that its nothing personal, just business. she posts old photos (and some new ones, not that anyone realises) of branch and poppy with branchs face covered (rotates between vomiting emojis, thrown pies and splatted tomatoes). this situation, however, leads to "poppys dating a stan" rumours, which are pretty short lived as poppy makes a statement clarifying "me and smidge have been friends for years, ever since we hatched!" but nothing about whether they were actually dating. smidge tweets "😏".

barb (part 3): barb gets ratio'd for implying milton moss is a pedophile. "grown ass man fucking a minor-passing female". smidge says how shes older than barb, old enough to be her young aunt, so barb antis (barntis) dog on barb by telling her to "listen to auntie smidge, its bed time". barb mutes the tweet and never mentions smidge again but (with her likes hidden through twitter blue) starts liking tweets transvestigating smidge. barb relapses.

tangential: barb never deletes the tweets that get ratio'd, she keeps everything up, no matter how much riff used to beg her to take them down. a call my girl the playstation because shes almost 5 situation.

creek: creek orchestrated the "floyds sextape" debacle bc he thought tanking one of the members of brozones reputation would ruin the band and therefore branch (didnt work bc gay people (the majority of brozones fanbase) love drama). after hearing about floyd collabing with riff (also dead to creek) he decides its personal. he disguises himself as a regular joe at floyds favourite lowkey non celebrity normal person gay bar every night until he actually runs into him and by the time floyd realises hes creek its the next morning after they spent the night in a shitty motel with very high quality drugs, of both the recreational and performance enhancing varieties. what follows is convoluted death note psychological warfare where creek thinks he is manipulating floyd but really floyd is always 2 steps ahead of him doing the REAL manipulating and finds it really entertaining. occasionally the entire internet will convince itself (with floyds help) that creek is an abusive boyfriend, and creek antis (crantis) will write threads about how "floyd isnt really pro life, creek is grooming him" etc, and depending on how many lines floyd has snorted off creeks torso (big reveal) he will qrt with "i am 10 years older than him". bruce clay and branch know the truth, that floyd is fucking with creek, but they all agreed that jd wouldnt be able to stop himself from spilling the beans so they decided in their second family group chat (that jd is not a part of) to not tell him (floyd asks "can you guys pretend i feel anything for creek other than amusement and mild lust" and branch asks "was that last part really necessary"). jd thinks floyd is actually in love with creek and theyre gonna get married some day, which they probably will, but its a celebrity marriage so itll last a year, tops, and creek will get full custody of the twins (their names are brad and angelina) bc floyds too much of a player to be tied down with familial responsibilities (he doesnt want to cut down on his coke habit or address his lifelong commitment issues)

satin & chenille: set up by fans and detractors alike as the rival to Viva La Viva, satin and chenille host their own podcast, except instead of being focused solely on them or whoever is guesting, they focus on current events and politics. the Bedhead Scare podcast, tagline "hot bitches with hot takes", is a controversial (to put it mildly) talkshow (being very generous) where capitalising on controversy is the name of the game and brother, they play to win. they love the drama. they have done irreparable damage to the self image of younger millennial / older gen z pop trolls. they have their own makeup line and have probably pedalled diet pills, while bragging about their effortless figures (chenille gets liposuction regularly and satin lives by "a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips"). they have a joint onlyfans which is probably really really weird but anyone who is criticising them is more focused on the snake oil theyve tied their names to or that time they had velvet (sans veneer) on for an episode.

cooper: never checks his qrts or notifs or mentions or indirects, absolutely nothing. he sees it on his timeline or not at all. king of accidental controversy. tweets "i dont see the problem with being pro ship" bc he thinks it means you like boats. prince d has to clarify what he actually means for him often and one day changes his dn to "cooper updates 🎶" as a joke but never ended up changing it back so he regularly gets confused for the actual update account. one day someone asks cooper what he thinks of creek and he answers "i dont watch south park". unbothered. moisturised. in his lane. cooper and hickory tied for winning the idgaf war

abortiongate 2024: soon before floyd and creeks divorce, creek gets his second egg (the twins were fraternal, both parents had an egg in their hair, trolls are weird) and wants to abort it. if youve been following along youll know that floyd is pro life and would never agree to it, so while hes (supposed to be) out creek takes a hammer to the egg, comically the exact second floyd walks back in. news somehow gets out to the public (their maids are being paid off by velvet to supply her with all the dirt they can muster) and before they know it the entirety of twitter is split into 4 stances: "its so sad the both of them lost a child" "i cant believe creek would kill that baby, it was just as much floyds egg as his" "creeks body his choice" and finally "are we forgetting that floyd is literally pro life". the majority are, surprisingly, on creeks side and its the first time he has the better reputation out of the two. floyd gets home drunk after drinking his feelings (and remaining a faithful husband) and creek is sprawled out on the sofa, eating his favourite ice cream, watching his favourite soap, wearing his favourite fluffy robe, loving life. creek says "oh hello love, i dont suppose youve checked twitter today?" and floyd flips him off. floyd drunkenly mourns his unborn baby (he wanted to name them shiloh) on twitter and gets qrtd with google image results for omelettes. people say "oh thats too far, thats not funny" but creek is liking them on main. rare victory for creek! just 300 more and theyll be approaching even

the diamonds: family vlog channel. guy exploits his baby infant son for internet microfame (the fact hes besties with the queen helps too). does a lot of crossfit. despite marketing himself as wholesome and spotless guy gets into controversy when he is caught soliciting a camgirl and the channel goes on "hiatus". guy makes a big show of how tiny diamond isnt allowed to use the internet but tiny runs a stan account (for trollex, if youre curious) and gets into a lot of fights where he pulls the neurodivergent minor card. speaking of, his carrd is an epileptics nightmare. guy gets cancelled (again) for agreeing with floyds pro life views (he posted "when someones getting cooked for a take you agree with" on priv which floyd has access to, and throwing someone under the bus to save your own skin runs in the family it seems). tiny consoles him and assures him that hes still the best daddy in the world, then goes to his room and posts his trollex fancams under the GUYISOVERPARTY hashtag for views. even though guy is trying to teach tiny his values, tiny has access to the internet and has looked into the issue enough to be confident he is pro choice. when guy finds out he sobs "WHERE DID I GO WRONG?" in autotune

biggie: has an account for mr dinkles where he acts as if its mr dinkles running it (with "cutesy" poor grammar and spelling) and for some reason or another he gets into mild drama that he makes SO much worse bc while addressing it he doesnt break character. mr dinkles is gay and homophobic

dj suki: decently popular until it comes to light she steals her sets from her child niece with minor adjustments (a basic kick drum loop + sample phrases recorded from her friends without permission). dj suki says it was bc "shes too young to deal with the spotlight, and this way her art still gets to be shown to the world!" conveniently leaving out how much money she gets out of it. its totally fine though, because sometimes dj will take cj to get fast food (her parents are vegans) and maybe, MAYBE, if a set does particularly well, shell give her some starbursts, and cj will say "i prefer chocolate, you know this" and dj will say "well, life aint fair, kid"

fleekgate 2027: several years after the divorce creek and floyd run into each other at a charity event for orphans. its a little awkward. they've both had some wine. they wake up the next morning married again. even though they're initially disgusted they both missed each other so much, they had become so unhealthily codependent on their fucked up looney tunes dynamic. they really think they're gonna make it work this time! fingers crossed 🤞

Brozone (and friends (and enemies)) twitter drama au

Collaborative between me and @squirrelpatties. Truly our magnum opus

Jd: previously a frequent twitter e-clown infamous for name searching and starting beef with people who insulted him. His fanbase thought it was hilarious in a "grandpa escaped the hospital" way. Eventually was forced to relinquish control of @/brojohndoryofficial to his pr manager (clay) after he responded to 14 y/o @/j0ndryballzweat.

Floyd (part 1): his sex tape (with a fan he didnt know was a fan but thats hardly relevant) gets leaked. For the first three days everyone's timeline was full of "do NOT share it around, dont even look for it, if someone sends it to you IGNORE it, this is a disgusting breach of privacy" until Floyd addresses it by tweeting "decided to put on a different kind of show for you guys" and all hell breaks loose. Every tweets hidden replies are full of screencaps and reuploads for a month. People edit the video so just before anything explicit happens it's replaced by a video game cutscene or meme, which Floyd retweets a lot of. His brothers ask him to stop (both for publicity and bc it makes them uncomfortable) so he starts posting thirst traps on insta. Clay yells at him so Floyd tweets "clay just asked when I'm gonna get a girlfriend :/" which brings us to-

Clay: homophobia allegations. Admittedly the least serious and would have blown over quickly if it weren't for him panic tweeting "I'm not homophobic! My girlfriend is a bi lesbian!" People were NOT happy. It takes him three days of retweeting 'helpful educational threads and carrds' on lesbianism written by 14 y/os for people to get off his back. Viva understands.

Bruce: stays off social media bc its the mind killer so he lets clay take care of @/brobruceofficial. This goes well until clay gets drunk and thinks he's on his private account but is actually on Bruce's public. When he wakes up (hungover) in the morning hes got Bruce banging on his door asking why TMZ is reporting on him cheating on his wife. Bruce tells him to clear things up but clay JUST got the lesbians off his back and can't afford to be back in the hotseat...

Branch and poppy: branch was annoyed by all the branch/poppy rpf fanfic (poppy likes them bc she thinks they're cute and funny. When brozone go on tour she reads the smutty ones) so he suggested to poppy that they stage a fake breakup. Poppy is initially against the idea until branch brings up how much fun itd be to sneak around like a couple of teenagers. Poppy scrapbooks the tabloids about their breakup. Clay and Bruce blame clays drunken tweets on branch so clay seems like the victim. Poppy acknowledges this on twitter in a way that very heavily implies they broke up bc branch was cheating on her with her own sister. Viva does not understand. This one doesn't have a resolution yet bc we moved onto:

Barb: previous lesbian icon turned reactionary transphobe. Riff stopped associating with her once she started getting really public with it and now she keeps tweeting stuff like "you-know-who left me just to work with misogynists. Really makes you think 🤔 " which he ignores.

Riff: while still working with barb he was approached to collab with creek (damage control for the... unsavoury things he said about rock trolls). The second the song released he tweeted "wow that guy was an asshole LOL" bc he didn't realise he wasn't supposed to do that. Cut contact with barb once her transphobia went from "mild, I can fix her" to "jesus fucking christ". Briefly worked with Floyd until his second controversy at which point riff tweeted "cmon, man" and turned off his phone. Riff hasn't done anything wrong and he deserves a lot better

Velvet: crafted the perfect expose thread on Floyd when she was in prison, including "pro life" "publicly sharing inappropriate sexual content" and "uses the toothpaste flag". Posts it the second she gets let out of prison and instantly becomes #1 on trending (alongside "floyd" "pro life" and "#HUGS4CLAY).

Floyd (part 2): tweets "why does it even matter that I'm pro life if I'm gay and don't 'believe' in 'voting'" before doing another line off his boyfriends torso. People bring his leaked nudes back up and start insulting his dick size and its the first time hes ever let a controversy bother him. His next tweet is "I am not ashamed of my body" and the top reply (creek pfp) is "you should be ❤". Clay is biting the skin off his own tongue.

#rb #twitter drama au

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thesylverlining · 3 years ago

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The gay-ass fantasy romance I'm writing for Oct + Nov NaNoWriMo just hit 20k <3

Meaning I have written at least 1000 words per day since I started, which is a major, MAJOR THING for me, and would have been impossible to imagine just a few months ago.

I'm... actually very happy and proud of my progress, which feels weird to say but it's true. In the past month and a half, I:

Started a new pain med that actually works miraculously, giving me the energy to:

Do 15 minutes of elliptical every morning, ~half hour walk every evening, and:

Get out of bed immediately instead of laying there for an hour getting hungry but unable to move. I also credit this to:

Complete Twitter hiatus, For Real. Zero doomscrolling in my life rn, and it's having a very real and tangible (GOOD) effect on my brain. Tumblr is a heavenly respite, honestly. I'm sure I'll go back eventually but right now... Aaahhhh.

Getting more regular and serious about my spirituality/Heathenry/being a Lokean. It makes me happy, and helps me actually be functional instead of constantly doom-spiraling. And honestly in this world that... matters the most.

So... wow yes. Things are better. The world isn't fixed and neither am I, but things are better. Freaking prayer circle that it stays that way, at least.

#Writing #nanowrimo #Life Update #chronic illness #mental health

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fratboykate · 3 years ago

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i just opened twitter and searched adele, jfc *face palm* moronic people are really trying hard to win the 'stupid person award'. now you can't say you're a woman apprently it's transphobic?????! are you ok in the head people???! where the hell did you hit it? a rock made of uranium? 'cause sure your brain is melted dudes

The fact that she's going to have to make a whole entire fucking apology about it????? And that OF COURSE the most vile people from the right have already latched onto it as an example of "gay rights gone wrong!" You're making us look stupid. Not everything is fucking offensive. Shut the fuck up.

But also, since we're on the topic I'm actually pretty opposed to the whole concept of "Non Gendered Awards". Hear me out.

You understand how these "Lets merge and make the categories non-gendered" ultimately just end up hurting women and particularly women of color the most, right? This is how women of color never statistically have a shot in hell at ever winning an award ever again. You've sat for more than two seconds and thought about this past the flashy empty brain rot ideas the internet sells you, yes??? This hurts WOC immensely. Disproportionately.

The solution here isn't to abolish the gendered categories, it's to create a third one that people can qualify for if they so choose to. Do you know what happens when you merge say..."Female Artist Of The Year" and "Male Artist Of The Year" into one? Or "Best Lead Actor In A Drama" and "Best Lead Actress In A Drama" into "Best Lead In A Drama?"? What happens is that women of color (and men of color...but particularly women of color) who aren't nominated and don't win in their own gendered categories to begin with have their chances of getting the award go down to zero. Think about it. THINK ABOUT IT HARD. You think they're going to if you clump them in with the white men/women??? Also...how does that even make sense??? It doesn't. How does slimming down the amount of awards given out instead of expanding them help anyone? It doesn't???

Going further...cis people still exist. People who identify as male and female will always exist so why not keep those categories and simply create a third category that can fit those who don't feel they fall into either of those things and that won't end up severely harming women and men of color??? And like Adele said tonight, there's an endless amount of women who are proud to identify as women. Why take away that option from them and clump them in with the men? That has never sat right with me.

Let me tell you a story because I've seen it happen live with a directing program that one of the studios ran. One of them ran a program that was exclusively for women and it had ten slots with a guaranteed episode at the end. So these ten women got into this super competitive program and at the end of it they each got to direct their first episode of TV. Getting into TV directing is one of the hardest things to do and especially for women. Aside from the female program the studio ran the regular director's program for first time episodic directors that anyone could apply to. It was still only for diverse folk (queer and POC) just not exclusively women. I believe it was two years ago when they were like: "Well, having a Gendered program feels unfair. We're going to combine them!" And they went from having 20 directors in 2 programs - 10 of them being guaranteed women - to just 10 in one program. Ask me how many were women the next year. And ask me how many were WOMEN OF COLOR. ASK ME. ASK ME. GO AHEAD. If I remember correctly it was something like they went from thirteen total women (about half of which were WOC) across both programs to like three of the ten new directors in the combined program being women and like one was a woman of color. Then like four out of the ten "diverse" directors were white guys but they were GAY WHITE GUYS so it's fine. They're SOOOO diverse. There were more white dudes in those faces than anything else.

And that's EXACTLY what happens when you get rid of "gendered" categories. Every single fucking time. Without fail. I have seen it repeatedly. So stop supporting it. Because it never works the way you think it does. It just fucks women of color over. HARD. It's the fastest way to make sure they never get recognized or get into anything ever again.

Support creating a third non-gendered category at all awards shows all day long. But don't ever take the female category away from women because women of color don't deserve to lose that. It's what little chance they have at recognition and they don't even get a shot at it now. It would be impossible in a combined category. Don't do that to us.

#like.....I wish y'all would actually sit and rationally think about shit #before you would jump on bandwagon #because this nongendered awards shows bandwagon is idiotic #it's so fucking stupid #anonymous #answers #adele #rants #Hollywood

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kuroken-lovechild · 3 years ago

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How haikyuu characters would play genshin impact:

//featuring me nerding out about mbti types 😔

Karasuno

Hinata

As an ESFP he would probably choose his main based on who feels good to use

Quick movements, lots of jumping, strong = XIAO MAIN (probably finds the flashiness and edginess cool and enjoys the button mashing too)

would aggressively compete with kageyama on who can beat spiral abyss the fastest and with the shortest time

unfortunately they’re both not very good (initially because kenma helps him out after)

Would try to follows the plot but dialogue goes over his head

Does not understand stats other than attack at first

Wish impulse is real and never has any primos

would attempt to talk to every npc

Kageyama

META SLAVE

Has no idea what wishing/gacha is at first and builds his starters really well

Then he found out and currently mains Ganyu, Zhongli, Hutao for the big numbers

gloats about his first 5 star to hinata

Does not talk to NPCs at all and barely digs into the story

only there for spiral abyss and to make his characters stronger

Tsukishima

Didn’t wanna play until yamaguchi dragged him in to have someone to co op with

Appreciates the story and lore more than the gameplay aspect

Eula, razor (cv uchiyama kouki) main—easy to build, easy to use

Doesn’t care about wishing either

Got Eula by accident and now holds it over kageyama’s head

Has really good artifact RNG that it infuriates kagehina (gloats about it to fan the flame 😚)

Yamaguchi

he’s infp he chooses based on characters he likes 🥺

Diluc, albedo, ayaka main

(i can’t explain why I think he’d like those three, it just Makes Sense)

Co ops with tsukki and yachi, plays both dps and support

Spiral abyss makes him anxious but he pushes through anyway!!

Daichi

Starter team king 😩

Feels bad about switching his regular team out FJDFJDJJDDJ DAICHI

Probably a casual player though

Plays to coop with suga and tanaka but they carry him through domains

he’s trying his best

Suga

Mains based on whoever’s fun to play too!!

but enjoys more of a challenge

Childe main

Waiting for Scaramouche to drop hAha 🥲 and harbingers in general

Appreciates the plot and is very interested in lore!!

Diligently does spiral abyss

Doesn’t quite wish on impulse, but if theres a character he likes he’ll spend everything on their banner

Asahi

Does not play, got too scared (see: haikyuu ova)

Nishinoya

Rolls VERY much on impulse

Similar to hinata in that he also likes playing playstyles that feel good

Xiao and/or yoimiya main

(xiao because he’s short jk)

Probably raised Rosaria and planned to use her

Plot who???? we only care about world exploration and fighting in this house

Tanaka

wished for all the women, raised all the women, uses all the women

valid

Primarily mains Rosaria, ningguang and Lisa though

sorry beidou you remind him of his sister too much

waiting for signora like many of us are

Coops with noya and has INSANELY bad rng luck

Yachi

Also chooses based on characters’ personalities

gay, mains sucrose and jean

isfj child and probably feels bad about the underrated characters :(

uses amber, xinyan and qiqi too!

Raises all characters but hasn’t raised anyone to 90

Coops with yamaguchi and uses jean (as healer, support, damage dealer)

Talks to NPCs and sympathizes with their sad backstories

Gets too anxious to do spiral floors 9-12 too (mood)

Seijoh

Oikawa

Oh boy

this ENFJ 3w2 guy? you KNOW he’s gonna be the best

As long as it doesn’t clash with volleyball of course

Very VERY competitive in abyss

Has one character hed get attached to but doesn’t limit himself to using them only

Incredibly focused on team synergy, carefully crafts teams to bring out the best in each character

Tests best damage output too

But also he’d probably use meta characters and secretly raise the ones he actually likes?

Current fave: Yoimiya

Uses strong characters for coop but uses his faves for single player domains (or coop with iwaizumi)

Likes characters but surprisingly wouldnt be too invested in the plot

does not whale out of pride

Iwaizumi

Geo user

Uses characters he finds respectable in the storyline + hard hitters

Razor, klee, jean main but unaware of the family relationship

Sometimes uses beidou although her burst takes too long sometimes

Pretty casual player, only started because of Oikawa

Hanamaki

obviously he and matsukawa would make zhongli pillar dick jokes

Kaeya and beidou main (he thinks they’re cool)

Not that impatient to wait for bursts to charge or has a lot of energy recharge

whale

Matsukawa

……. Hutao main

funeral home

Would use qiqi and hutao together for the meme then grows to genuinely like qiqi

Saves up for a really long time then spends it all at once

Kindaichi

Doesn’t play much tbh

Offline for a week, comes back to do commissions for one day, leaves

Kunimi

Hed be pretty good

but lazy and forget to do dailies

then buy welkin moon instead

Focuses more on the story too rather than gameplay and points out loopholes

Mains whoever he has in his team with good synergy (like chongyun xingqiu xiangling)

Kyoutani

Rage quits 5 minutes in after hearing paimon’s voice 😔

Throws his phone at the wall

Yahaba

Simps for jean

Mains jean

Dedicated to dailies and spiral abyss

But doesn’t wish that much

Was the one who tried getting kyoutani into it and suffered the consequences

Nekoma

Kuroo

ENTP king raises a whole arsenal of characters for spiral abyss

I cant see him really getting attached to one in particular ?

makes zhongli pillar dick jokes every chance he can get

but also uses him for utility

Wants to try using a whole bunch of characters and wishes on every banner

But uses the meta ones with good team comps

sparks twitter debates with ….. interesting takes

“_____ is completely shit”

Kenma

OH BOY HES A GAMER GAMER

Whale whale whale whale

He’s tony to

Best synergy teams, understands the value of elemental mastery, REALLY values good supports, calculates possible damage numbers

Kazuha, zhongli, bennett, venti are a staple in his teams

Helps hinata and kuroo until kuroo teases too much by deliberately playing horribly

mildom and youtube streamer like murase ayumu

Appreciates story and lore very much too

Yaku

he’d LOVE the children

Probably would use characters that remind him of family members and friends

Klee, diona, qiqi, chongyun, xingqiu, razor, bennett

does spiral abyss but not obsessively

Lev

KENMA-SAN!!! LETS PLAY TOGETHER!!!

I’m sorry he would not know how the game works

Doesn’t do the ascension quests and gets stuck at AR 26 with 500k extra points

Thinks he’s amazing but it’s because he’s stuck at world level 1

I’m sorry lev ily but ……. its the truth

Tries pulling for everyone too and mains the first 5 star he got

(childe because he’s russian AKSHDKDHSKSHS /j)

Wants diluc and xiao because they look cool but gets Mona instead (doesnt understand how to use her)

Yamamoto

Also raises the women like tanaka but + kaeya

Lev complained to him about getting Mona while he’s wanted Mona for months

Not really a dedicated intense gamer EXCEPT for during those battle events

Fukurodani

Bokuto

WANTS THE STRONG AND COOL LOOKING 5 STARS

Eula, zhongli, diluc, xiao

but doesn’t know how to build either

doesn’t understand stats

would feel really bad for qiqi

Wouldn’t like signora for hurting venti :(

Wouldn’t like childe too :( until he plays the story quest and sees the ruin guard cutscene

then starts sobbing because of what a good brother he is

“AKAAAASSHI I wanna do that too!!!” then he dies

Tries to use childe but doesn’t understand the cool down management

Mispronounces and misspells tartaglia (タルタリア)

for more info on how bokuto plays genshin see Kimura ryohei’s YouTube channel ✨

Akaashi

the true childe main (just like me)

Uses characters based on utility

but mains whoever reminds him of bokuto FJDHFJFJDKSJ

Very good supports but unlike Kenma, he chooses and builds supports around his main

also uses very good supports so people won’t realize he’s using childe for the cv kimura ryohei (everyone knows anyway)

Literature nerd appreciates the plot, writing and deep lore too

Konoha

Tries pulling for everyone but has REALLY bad luck

Has really good characters but never the one he wants

loses all 50/50s and has a c4 qiqi

Ends up maining qiqi as dps

sorry konoha i didn’t mean to slander you

Shiratorizawa

Ushijima

does not know how to play or build

Uses whoever he has (aka starters)

Only plays because tendou downloaded and made an account for him

Doesn’t know how to ascend characters or farm

Forgets about talents (me)

Weirdly good RNG and doesn’t realize it 😩

“Let me look at your account wakatoshi-kun”

“Sure”

“You didn’t tell me you had 6 of jean’s Stella fortuna???”

“What’s that?”

Tendou

this man pulls for the seiyuus

Mains childe, hutao, mona for 5 stars

childe and hutao’s instinct based quickswap playstyle works so well for him!

jokes about cosplaying mona then actually does

Knows how to build, grinds, and manages ushijima’s account for him

Probably whales too

Shirabu

Meta meta meta meta

But f2p meta

Loves setting up reactions

More into the lore too and researches theories

Remembers actual names of boss drops

Semi: so how many of those buttplugs do you have again

Shirabu: 💢stop calling them buttplugs, they have actual names 💢

VERY diligent with battle pass, dailies, achievements and spiral abyss full stars

Until he //SPOILERS gets into med school and has no time for shit

Inarizaki

Atsumu

Would have a crush on a character I just know it

Invests heavily on his faves and is great at utilizing each of them

fussy . complains about a certain unit and how they can improve

or complains about how the game can improve to osamu

Osamu: yer just saying that cuz you couldn’t get a high score

Archons main (already saving for the tsaritsa)

Wouldn’t have a main dps but several hard hitting supports

Whale and falls victim to the weapon banner

Osamu

More casual player than Atsumu but still tries to get higher than him in events and spiral abyss

If atsumu’s a whale, osamu’s a dolphin

Great at dodging

Catalyst user!!

Mains ningguang, klee, yanfei + other catalyst supports

Also uses keqing

Kita

the man appreciates routine aka VERY diligent with dailies, battle pass, farming

“if you do things properly results will follow” or whatever quote he said ✨

Starter team but raises other characters for abyss

Reads dialogue and appreciates the plot

Barely gachas

Aran

will defend TO THE DEATH the underappreciated characters

Has empathy for noelle 🥺🥺

Noelle, Barbara, xinyan, bennett, children user 🥺

Talks to every NPC and loves the backstories and lore

also would feel really bad for qiqi

Suna

Uses the tall men and women and builds them all as dps (childe zhongli diluc kaeya beidou ningguang jean lisa rosaria eula)

He’d probably make a support character a dps tbh

Disregards team synergy for the shits but somehow manages to do domains and abyss

Itachiyama

Sakusa

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jamiiviper · 4 years ago

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The Jamil Essay

this is a reupload of a post i made a couple of weeks ago - previously it was an external link to a google doc, so it never showed up in any of the twst tags, but i worked so hard on this and i would really love it if more people read it, so i’m reuploading directly to tumblr.

to put it simply, this is a 3.7k word character analysis purely about jamil. and even with a word count like that i wasn’t quite able to cover everything i wanted to say, so who knows, maybe there’ll be a part 2 one day. i’ve also decided i do want to write a kalim version, so i’ll probably start working on that sometime soon! stay tuned!

trigger warnings: mentions of child abuse

jamil is the vice dorm leader of scarabia, who’s been kalim’s caretaker practically since birth. he puts on a facade of not standing out, preferring to remain completely average, and plans his life around kalim’s antics. as we learned in chapter 4, however, his true feelings are that he bears a lot of resentment towards kalim, and that he wants to stand out - he just wasn’t allowed to, as he can never surpass kalim.

in this essay i want to cover not just my personal interpretation of jamil, but also some common misconceptions that people tend to have about him. twitter doesn’t have this problem as much, but with tumblr i’ve found that there are very few jamil stans, especially in the theory and writing communities - meaning it’s quite common for people to misunderstand his character. in the fandom as a whole, it’s common for people to only acknowledge him insofar as “gay for kalim”.

firstly, jamil’s character development in the main story - i would say he’s arguably the best-developed character in twst, since yana now has enough chapters available to flesh out characters after their main story arc ended. jamil holds very deep-seated resentment against kalim, to the point that he plotted to betray him for probably several years. he plotted to have kalim not just thrown out of nrc, but thoroughly ruin his reputation in the process. after his overblot, those feelings did not magically vanish - far from it. i think earlier twst chapters suffered from arcs being wrapped up a little too neatly post-overblot, but pomefiore’s arc has already proved itself to be the exception and thoroughly covers not just jamil’s continued dislike for kalim, but also the wider consequences for what he did.

since the twst school year begins in september, we know jamil is about 9 months older than kalim. from literally the day kalim was born, jamil’s life has been dedicated to kalim. possibly since the day jamil was born, and he was always fated to be kalim’s caretaker. it may even have been the reason he was born at all. either way, it’s not like he remembers those 9 months. all jamil has ever known is that his sole purpose must be to serve kalim. he must not have desires of his own, he must not do anything for himself - from childhood he was expected to be ready to give up his life for kalim at a moment’s notice. he can’t be good at anything - kalim must always be better (i’ll cover this in more depth in a later paragraph, this philosophy is key to his character). his own parents drilled this into him, even going to the extent of hitting him if he didn’t comply. it seems he has a normal relationship with his family despite this - he bickers with his sister like regular siblings, and pre-overblot he indicated that his desire to be free from servitude wasn’t just about him, he wanted to free his family. nonetheless, the psychological damage his childhood caused him is severe. is it any wonder his unique magic is mind control, when he’s never had an ounce of control over his own life?

moving onto his early teen years, we know both jamil and kalim were severely poisoned at one point, both falling into comas for around two weeks. although we don’t have a timeframe for jamil’s coma, we know kalim’s was when they were around 13 years old. if jamil’s was around this age too - probably a short while afterwards - i think it’s plain to see why jamil’s resentment began to build. he’d have been around the age where he first started to question why his life has to revolve around kalim. why should he be expected to die for someone he doesn’t even like, who’s spoiled and doesn’t realise how much jamil does for him? kalim takes everything for granted: status, friendships, freedom, and jamil is meanwhile left in the shadows with nothing. then one day kalim gets poisoned so badly he falls into a coma - how much do you want to bet jamil was blamed for that, at the age of 13? after that he’s expected to taste-test anything kalim eats beforehand, and eventually starts making all his meals for him because the risk of poison is so high otherwise. then one day he slips up, or it’s an undetectable poison, and jamil is the one to fall into a coma. is anyone blamed for that? does anyone pity jamil outside of his immediate family + kalim? no, probably not. after all, he’s just doing his duty, right? it’s truly… no wonder jamil’s resentment became so intense. he finally has proof that his life truly does not matter. although kalim certainly cares about him, he doesn’t understand jamil’s position. he sees jamil as a friend, an equal; jamil knows this can never be the case, and he also knows kalim is too privileged to ever hope to understand.

fast forward on a couple of years to jamil receiving his nrc acceptance letter. he thinks that finally, finally he’s going to be free. four years of freedom - and who knows, maybe after that he can be free forever! he can finally excel at his classes and be his true self, without fear of upstaging kalim!

and then kalim gets accepted a month late. for no reason other than his surname.

and then kalim gets sorted into his dorm.

it’s a miracle he didn’t just overblot on the spot - but that’s his nature as a scarabia student. careful foresight and planning. this moment was, undoubtedly, the moment he started planning his betrayal. he had his one month of freedom ripped away, just like that.

oh, don’t forget the fact that not long after, kalim was made dorm leader not because he notably embodies scarabia values at all, but because of nepotism. (side note: most scarabia stans agree kalim does actually reflect scarabia values, just not as obviously as jamil does, but either way jamil himself wouldn’t see it this way. this is a jamil essay so i won’t go in depth about this unless asked to!)

under kalim’s watch, scarabia - known for its intelligence and cunning - is turned into “the party dorm”. this seems to be the fandom’s perception of them too - i mean, just ask any non-scarabia stan what goes on in scarabia, that’s probably the answer they’ll give you. jamil would have probably loved the original scarabia; although we don’t know much about it, we know scarabia students are on a par with octavinelle when it comes to intelligence (paralleling azul’s constant interest in jamil). yet by winter break, scarabia is doing so badly in those same exams that they didn’t even place in the rankings…? without meaning to, kalim clearly harmed scarabia. instead of getting chance to study magic and show off, jamil is now essentially an unpaid, full-time party planner by the time his second year starts.

a few months later, winter break finally arrives, and jamil executes his plan to dethrone kalim. i may have just spent the last two pages defending jamil’s grudge, but his actions themselves are still indefensible. there’s evidence to suggest kalim knew what was occurring on some level - refusing to answer jade’s question about who was hypnotising him proved that 1) he probably had some idea deep down that jamil was betraying him 2) he doesn’t want jamil to get in trouble for it. nonetheless, this does not make what jamil did okay in the slightest, even if kalim allowed it to happen. jamil is, undoubtedly, the bad guy in this situation, no matter how sympathetic his childhood makes you feel. i could go into detail about why kalim acted the way he did, but again, this is jamil-focused.

i’ll skip talking about his overblot, because i covered his hatred for kalim in a lot of depth already and i want to talk about the general aspects of his personality like his desire for praise later on. so moving onto the end of chapter 4, we see jamil’s true self: a snarky, heavily opinionated boy who honestly just wants to be free to be himself.

but just like his freedom, that side of jamil once again only lasts for a brief moment. jamil almost loses everything after his overblot. practically every scarabia student hates him and wants him thrown out of the dorm - even kalim, his sole defender, can’t call him a good person. he’s a traitor. he says he trusts the scarabia students to work out that it’s better for them if he stays, but that day won’t come any time soon, and until then he’s keeping his distance from them all, because their hatred is that strong. if azul truly had been streaming to more people than just jade, his life would have been ruined beyond repair. so what does jamil do? he goes back to serving kalim. as a scarabia student, his foresight is good enough that he knows the option he hates the most is the only one that’ll be good for him in the end. for jamil, being himself is nothing short of a death sentence.

now i’ve talked for far too long about the timeline of his character arc, i can finally get to the good stuff: jamil’s personality, and how it’s changed throughout the stories we’ve seen so far.

the first thing that springs to mind when you think of jamil, other than “snake”, is probably “tired”. or “he’s going to snap”. something along those lines. which... yes, we know he is. he did snap. after chapter 4, this doesn’t seem to have changed too much, but i do get the impression that he’s somewhat less stressed out by kalim. his resentment has dissipated, for the most part (he does still openly insult him, though), so while he does grumble at kalim there’s no suppressed fury behind it. what replaced that fury?

guilt.

in 5-10, jamil tells azul that he intends to continue to obediently follow kalim around in order to restore his reputation, both inside and outside of scarabia. this does of course make him sound pretty selfish (as per usual), and in classic jamil fashion he doesn’t let his true emotions show, so it’s easy to take this at face value and assume he just doesn’t really care. i think in this case, we need to look more at his actions that we see throughout chapter 5. namely, the way it’s being emphasised how he’s silently watching kalim from afar - something he’s always done, yes, but yana seems to be really making a point of it in chapter 5. it’s not just kalim he’s distancing himself from, either. he’s staying away from the rest of the scarabia students too, as mentioned earlier. he never had any friends at all to rely on, even before his overblot. so by doing this, he’s effectively completely isolating himself. he clearly has a lot of thoughts about everything that he’s not sharing with anyone - just listen to the way he sighs at the end of the flashback in 5-10, how annoyed and frustrated he seems. if jamil was telling the truth about just wanting to restore his reputation, he’d probably appreciate kalim’s efforts, even if he dislikes kalim himself. he shouldn’t be upset by kalim persuading the scarabia students to give him another chance. not if he truly just wants to get back to normal. i think on some level, jamil feels incredibly guilty over his actions. he might not have even admitted to himself yet that he feels this way, and by saying things like “i just want to restore my reputation” he’s just trying to convince himself. after all, that’s something he has a history of doing.

ever since jamil’s first introduction, we’ve known jamil lives his life by the philosophy of “not standing out is the best way to succeed”. he hates standing out or receiving any kind of positive attention at all, because he thinks that it’ll only attract trouble. or so we thought, because as we learned from his overblot, jamil desperately wants to stand out. he’s powerful and intelligent, and he wants people to acknowledge that. he wants the praise and recognition he knows he deserves. this means that whenever he said he didn’t want to stand out, he was lying through his teeth - he probably constantly tried and failed to convince himself of this throughout his childhood. during his lab SR story, he even repeats it to himself in his thoughts, like a mantra - “I want to avoid standing out. I can’t be satisfied with this. I cannot be too good, nor fall behind, and neither should I get satisfactory grades or fail. This is the best shortcut to success.”. much like his feelings of guilt, jamil refused to acknowledge how much he truly wanted to show off, even in his own thoughts. he is awful at being honest to himself.

post-ch5, we find out that despite everything, jamil does still hold this philosophy, to some extent. he of course shows off his singing and dancing skills enough to be chosen as a main vocalist, and he says he wants to make a name for himself and show various people just how talented he truly is: kalim, his family, the asims and MC, to name a few. yet in the chapter before that, when kalim compliments his singing and dancing, he’s like “i don’t really want to stand out, but…”. which is honestly a little confusing at first because he does want to. i’d probably interpret it as something along the lines of he wants to show off to the people he cares about, but he still wants to keep his head down in general. so i think that to some extent, maybe he actually has internalised that philosophy now. the one time he truly expressed his desire to stand out, it ended in catastrophe for him. he has this tiny seed of doubt within him now, telling him his parents were right all along. but... he’s working past it, and applying himself as and when he’s comfortable doing so.

going back to him being bad at being honest, jamil’s a pretty big tsundere. there’s one person he does regularly receive praise from: kalim. yet despite desperately wanting to be praised, he often gets annoyed at kalim and tells him something like “this isn’t about me right now” or “what does that have to do with anything?”. plus when the praise is coming from kalim, it’s often in the context of kalim praising him to other people - as a servant, he can’t be seen accepting all these compliments, right? he can never be better than kalim. so he has to reject kalim’s praise. when it’s just the two of them alone, though, is when jamil gets embarrassed to the point he has to hide his blush under his hood. given his childhood, chances are that he doesn’t really know how to process being praised. he knows he wants people’s approval, but when he actually gets it, he just short-circuits. it was the same at his birthday celebration; although he wants to be the centre of attention, when it actually happens, he gets all embarrassed and tsun. i was trying not to let my own personal feelings spill in this but oh my god he’s so cute i can’t

next... this isn’t really linked to any previous topic, but i want to talk about jamil’s cooking! jamil cooks all of kalim’s meals, and regularly cooks entire feasts for kalim’s parties, too (as well as being in charge of getting any animals kalim wants to show off, decorating the dorm, making sure everything runs smoothly… you get the idea). his cooking is very good, and he has a lot of technical knowledge about cooking too - azul, whose parents run a restaurant, didn’t know about emulsification, but jamil was able to explain it to him. despite being so good, though, according to his dorm SSR homescreen lines he doesn’t actually like cooking very much. he says the fact that he cooks so much is “just how things turned out”. of course, he could just be being a tsun, but i do feel like he’s being honest with this - what reason does he have to seriously enjoy something he was forced into doing his entire life? However there is evidence that he might enjoy it after all; he’s particularly good at alchemy because of his cooking knowledge, and according to magical archives he’s completely neutral in motivation for both flying and history lessons, but has slightly higher motivation levels for alchemy, indicating that he can’t stop himself from putting a little bit extra effort into that class. i think it can be interpreted either way with the canon info we have currently, but regardless i would not say he’s the cooking fanatic people often depict him as.

also, when jamil cooks, although his cooking is good, visually it’s usually very boring, to the point he and his sister would bicker over it. he has the technical skills to cook good food, but no idea how to present it. similarly, in his fairy gala SR he was told that although he perfectly memorised the dance, it was boring to watch - it looked like he was just executing the routine without any passion behind it. jamil is so emotionally repressed that he has no idea how to express his individuality. even in his bedroom, the only truly personal items he owns are a first aid kit (related to his servant position, not him as a human being) and a stereo + headphones set for dancing. he doesn’t have any other hobbies or interests - he doesn’t even know what people his age do for fun, because he’s never been allowed to think about such things.

dancing is all jamil has that’s not directly related to serving kalim, really - but even that ties into his servant status. although he genuinely enjoys it nowadays and dances by himself for fun, he only picked it up as a hobby because kalim wanted to go to dance practice, and of course jamil had to accompany him. when his flashback after his overblot talks about him deliberately losing to kalim, the story focuses specifically on a dancing competition. which is why it’s honestly so important to jamil’s character that chapter 5 focuses on a singing and dancing competition. jamil finally has the chance not just to show off his skills in general, but his skills at the one thing he’s been allowed to love throughout his life. the one thing where losing to kalim at it hurt so much that it was such a prominent memory for him. when jamil was chosen as a main vocalist, he instinctively tries to say kalim would be better suited for the position, but stops himself and accepts it. it clearly means so much to him that he was chosen for this.

okay i started to scare people with how long this was getting when it was only 50% finished, i think if i write anymore people will actually be concerned for my health so i’ll leave it here. if you read all of this, thank you so much for putting up with my anime boy brainrot for over six full pages! i really.. really like jamil. again, i most certainly do not think his actions should be defended, but god if they’re not fascinating to read about. and i hope i covered the other sides to him well enough, the things that you’d never ordinarily pick up on because so few people talk about him outside of him and kalim as a pair (both platonic scarabia + romantic jamikali, i mean). he has so much depth to him that people don’t see and god i could easily have gone on for another few pages if i wasn’t forcing myself to stop. but please please talk to me if you want to hear more...

yana has treated him so well, jamil stans get too much food if anything but i’m absolutely thriving off it as you can see! thank you for allowing him to exist, yana-sensei!

having said that, i couldn’t stop myself from adding some extra facts about him below. please enjoy.

some fun jamil facts for your soul:

his sister used to bake him cookies on his birthday - specifically, these!

when jamil and kalim went to eat at the cafeteria with ruggie and leona, leona took one look at jamil and went “you look like you’d kill kalim in his sleep”

sebek and jamil find each other’s positions enviable. sebek wishes he could have been by malleus’ side from birth as jamil was with kalim, and jamil just… wishes he served someone he respected as deeply as sebek respects malleus (but he does think sebek is too enthusiastic)

jamil hates surprises with a burning passion, and despite being with kalim for 17 years is still not used to them. for his previous birthday, kalim held a huge surprise party, and i think he still hasn’t recovered from the shock

i think a lot of people already know that in his birthday SSR story he said he wanted a parrot after graduation so he could teach it to call him master, but it goes a bit further than that? it was actually first mentioned during his lesson chats, when kalim gets a parrot. jamil has to research how to care for it, and ended up wanting one of his own afterwards (but got too tsundere to admit it at the time).

also, he heard that the sorcerer of the sands’ parrot (iago) could speak as fluently as a human, and he got excited and watched a bunch of parrot videos on magicam, but was of course disappointed to find out that this was not the case.

he frequently uses flattery to try and get his way, like when he attempts to flatter vil during his SSR story - unfortunately he misjudged vil, as vil’s actually the type of person who hates meaningless flattery. because he does this so frequently, when he genuinely does give compliments people don’t always believe him.

according to the halloween event, jamil is surprisingly environmentally conscious, and insists on holding a sustainable halloween theme. after organising so many parties and seeing the waste they probably produce, i think there’s no wonder he’s so concerned about it.

#twisted wonderland #jamil viper #twst jamil #scarabia #twst #kalim al-asim #twst kalim #i'm a busy uni student so don't expect the kalim essay to be finished anytime soon #i procrastinated way too much writing the jamil one #and i would not do the same for kalim ajdfjshsjhs #also i know people have said they'd like to see my take on other charas but please consider:#the only reason i have this deep an insight into jamil's character is bc i never think about the others #there's only jamil in my head #so i don't think i'm the best person to go to for interesting analysis about anyone else #but again who knows #tw: abuse

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1ddotdhq · 4 years ago

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🙇🏼‍♀️Fri 6 Nov ‘20 🛹

Yesterday was the most absurd night I’ve seen on tumblr in the last five years. Just wanted to throw that out there. Between gay Supernatural news, Nevada going to bed again, and Putin possibly stepping down, we also got discourse™️ about Zayn and Gigi. Two women on twitter stepped forward and have claimed to have been sleeping with Zayn when he was with Gigi. The first woman says that when they were together in 2016 Zayn told her that Gigi was PR, and not an actual relationship, and that she called it off when she found Gigi's medication at Zayn's place. The second woman said that she saw Z from 2016 until February 2020 (and that yes, Gigi was pregnant at that time). She says she got him the custom Dusk ‘til Dawn skateboard that he later gave away in a fan event, and posted at the time about angrily entering the contest to try to get her unappreciated gift back. In another angry tweet (these women were spilling for a reason, they're mad as hell), she said the biggest lesson she’s learned this year is, “never let a boy with a girlfriend convince you into dyeing your hair because you’ll end up with damaged hair and he’ll still have a girlfriend”. Here’s hoping that she goes into 2021 without damaged hair and with someone that wouldn’t give away the gifts she gave them - everyone deserves that! The pair are mostly fighting with each other so more details for us popcorn munching bystanders are thin on the ground; for example neither gives a clue as to whether Gigi supposedly knew about them. Fan reaction is split between not believing the women, insulting the women, insulting Zayn, and insulting each other. I want to say it’s not my place to judge any of them, but I think that at this point I’m just screaming into a void, so I’ll say this: if you’re going to be cruel (especially if you're sexist/racist) about any of them in my notes, you’re going to be blocked.

Niall went live today with a special announcement: Ashe will be joining him LIVE on tomorrow’s show! That’s right: they flew her out to London two and a half weeks ago, had her quarantine, and will now have her perform exactly ONE SONG with Niall: Moral of the Story. Don’t get me wrong, I’m SUPER excited to see her, but uh...I have questions. Has she only flown in and quarantined for one song? Or will Niall do what Liam has been and use her as an opener, allowing her to play her set? I guess we’ll see tomorrow! The Independent reported that 90,000 tickets have already been sold for the concert, which is $1.8 million dollars towards paying Niall’s crew and the WeNeedCrew fund, which is amazing and will go a long way! We also got some instagram stories of him rehearsing, and he sounds great! I am getting more and more excited for this show as time goes on. Some set mock-up pictures of DWD were released, as well as some on site pictures of Jack and Alice’s house: it’s the Kaufmann house, which was made famous by Slim Aaron for his “poolside gossip” picture. It was put back on the market last month for $25 million, though I’m sure the price will only go up after this film premieres.

Liam, who spoke in the interview that just came out yesterday about the futility of responding to the press and how it just stirs up more press about the same thing, responded to an article about him. The Sun drew on that same interview to report that Cheryl had told him to temporarily “take a break” from his son and insinuated that it was because of partying and addiction struggles, in a call back to their recent article about Liam's drinking (like literally calling back; they linked themselves as their source). Liam took to Instagram to say that the Sun had completely taken his remarks out of context, the context being that he said them in May, and that the thing that had separated him from his son was, “the worldwide pandemic, not because I had anything wrong with me”. He says he was “discussing not being able to see my child which is difficult for any parent. I wish sometimes these people would do the research and give the context instead of painting people a certain way for click bait”. I have no opinion (no thots empty head) other than that Liam was 100% right about one thing: there are now six more articles on this topic which would not have been written had he not said anything.

And last night's memeing dredged up a lot of trips down tumblr memory lane, a regular retrospective of the last five years, and brought the uncomfortable emergence of a lot of locals posting about babygate ("haha next we'll find out that guy from 1D really wasn't the dad!" ha...ha...uhhh.) A good reminder of how many people are uninvested but still very much aware of the babygate rumors and of how major any kind of announcement or revelation would be, the absolute impossibility of just "ending it while no one is looking!" And in totally unrelated (and unwanted) news, Briana and Nick unshuttered their instagrams. "I'm back!" posts Briana. Ugh, read the room people: you are an unasked for cactus. That being said, please let's all take a deep breath and drink some water and get some sleep. It’s what I’ll be doing all weekend!

#z #niall #harry #liam #louis #the clown car #i just #what a night huh?#and do we know who the president is yet?#NO WE DO NOT #or well...not officially at any rate #guys im slowly losing it i need a very nice very LONG nap #okay well #that’s me for today!#song of the day!#American Pie by Don McClean #us election #tw supernatural

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bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher · 4 years ago

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lip sync your way into my heart

( @thecomfortofoldstorries and I got into a fun head-cannon debate last night about Tik Tok POVs and this is what happened)

--- Jaskier has never really been in the loop when it comes to social media. He was behind the curve when he made his Tumblr and he was two years late to sign up for Twitter. It’s no surprise that he finally downloads Tik Tok and makes an account several months after it’s become a viral platform.

That also means all the good usernames are taken; Jaskier types in @buttercup-bard, sees that it’s available, and calls it a day. This isn’t an app he’s going to care about. It’s just to waste time during his forty minute commute to and from campus.

Alas, he has ADHD...and this shit is addictive.

Especially, he hates to admit, the thirst-trap hotties who do weird, obscure, edgy POV videos. Jaskier knows they’re aimed primarily towards teen and young adult women but he’s a red-blooded Redanian gay. He’s horny. He can watch a few POV Tik Toks on the bus and thirst after pretty boys with big muscles...as a treat.

By Jaskier’s second week of classes he’s found a definite favorite Tik-Tokker (is that what they’re called? Or is it influencer? Jaskier doesn’t care). The guy is gorgeous. He has beautiful honey-gold eyes and long, silvery-white hair; which is appropriate since his handle is @whitehairdontcare. He makes a wide range of content, too. Perfect for Jaskier’s Concerta-focused tastes. There are some dances here and there and some Q&A videos, but for the most part he does POVs.

Jask and his roommates, Essi and Priscilla, have spent many happy hours poring over Mr. White Hair’s account, watching and re-watching their favorites from his vast repertoire of content. Essi loves his weird, edgy-boi shit. Stuff with titles like “POV: I fight the bully who insulted your haircut” or “POV: you make a deal with the devil for true love”. Stuff that Jaskier would have been into when he still listened to My Chemical Romance on the regular (okay, he still does, but don’t tell Essie).

Priscilla is a huge fan of Tik Tok dances. She follows every challenge and ranks her favorites, compiling them into a YouTube series that’s more for her self-gratification than anything else. Mr. White Hair is generally towards the top of her list whenever he deigns to follow a trend that doesn’t involve badly applied makeup blood smears. The guy clearly works out and the definition of his body (and the movements of said really hot body) make the dances look so much more fluid and fun. Jaskier and Priscilla clearly share a brain-cell when it comes to appreciating Mr. White Hair’s hotness.

Jaskier’s favorites, of course, are the cute little POVs that lie scattered between all the edgy ones. Stuff made for the softies of Tik Tok. Stuff made for boys like Jaskier. “POV: I fix your car for you” is the one he’s probably re-watched the most. Mr. White Hair is lying on his back beneath a jacked-up blue car, oil smeared in a few strategic places on his face, chest, and arms. At the very end of the Tik Tok he moves the wrench out of the way of his face completely and winks directly into the camera.

Jaskier hates to admit it, even to himself, but no matter how many times he’s watched that stupid twenty-give second video, that wink drops his heart straight down into his shoes and fills his stomach with butterflies.

---

“Hey do you guys carry fake blood here?” an almost terrifyingly deep voice asks from behind him. Jaskier twirls around on his heel, Retail Smile firmly in place, and loses his shit the moment he sets eyes on his latest customer.

It’s Mr. White Hair.

Here. In the middle of the aisle of the Party City where Jaskier works every weekend. He’s either going to throw up or pass out or both.

He doesn’t though. Instead, the Demon Lord of Retail possesses his body momentarily and nods, “Right over this way!” He leads the insanely attractive influencer over to the year-round section of Halloween FX makeup and gestures towards the shelf filled with various fake blood capsules, bottles, and packets.

“Thanks,” Mr. White hair smiles. Jaskier nods again, silent, and drifts back towards the counter in a daze. He’s the only one on shift right now (it is not a very busy Party City) and he knows that he can’t pass out on the dirty tile floor or he’ll get fired (and perhaps tetanus). He just needs to power through the next few minutes and then he can crouch next to the helium tank and freak the fuck out.

But not until Mr. White Hair is gone.

Just as Jaskier is re-learning how to breathe normally, the sexy internet star makes his way towards the counter with an armful of products and the retail worker loses it again. Thank god for the ability to compartmentalize.

“So, just these for you?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“No problem! I love your Tik Toks by the way,” Jaskier replies automatically. His eyes widen slightly. Why the fuck did I mention his Tik Toks!?

“Thanks,” the guy says and blushes. “I didn’t know they’d gotten so popular.”

“You have like two million followers?” Jaskier laughs. “I think that makes you pretty popular. Maybe even famous.”

“Oh yeah...right.”

“Anyway, your total is going to be twenty-one fifty.”

Mr. White Hair pays and Jaskier bags all his fake blood, wondering the whole time exactly what kind of content he can look forward to seeing. More of Essi’s edgy shit, apparently. As he’s handing the plastic bag over the counter, Jaskier smiles and works up the courage to ask, “Is your hair naturally white? I don’t mean to pry, it’s just really pretty.”

Geralt’s face goes slightly pinker than before and he nods. “Yeah. Weird genetic thing. Thanks.”

“No problem. Right on,” Jaskier beams. “Well, it was nice meeting a famous person. Thanks for stopping in.”

“Thanks for helping me out,” the Tik Tokker replies. Jaskier watches him exit the store before ripping his phone from his pocket and dialing Essi. He needs to talk to her before he spirals into a giddy panic attack.

---

“Hey Jask have you seen that hot guy’s latest Tik Tok?” Priscilla asks, lounging across her futon like a queen. Jaskier looks up from his copy of The Collective History of Aedirnian Funeral Dirges and wrinkles his eyebrows in confusion.

“No, why?”

“You should go check your phone. I think you’ll be happily surprised.”

“Oh-kay,” Jaskier says, drawing out the ‘kay’ for as long as it takes him to get up from his seat on the floor and exit the room. He retrieves his phone from the charger in the kitchen and returns to Priscilla’s bedside. He opens his new favorite app and pulls up @whitehairdontcare’s page. There’s a new POV from earlier this morning and Jaskier taps on it.

His eyes go round when he reads the caption: “POV: You’re the cute cashier at the Party City and I’m bad at flirting”.

Mr. White Hair is staring into the camera with those beautifully golden eyes, awkwardly rubbing at the back of his neck with his hand while he lip syncs to whatever song is playing. He’s wearing a tight, navy blue v-neck and Jaskier can see the movement of every one of his ridiculously defined muscles as they flex. The silver wolf’s-head necklace Mr. White Hair always wears around his neck is in its usual place, dangling down between those perfect collarbones…

Jaskier takes a shaky breath and glances up at his friends, who are staring back at him with wide eyes. “It could be about anyone.”

“How many Party Cities do you think he went to yesterday?”

“I’m not going to get my hopes up,” Jaskier snorts. “He’s a social media influencer and I am one semester away from finishing my degree and my thesis. Why would he ever want to be with someone like me?”

Essi rolls her eyes and Jaskier goes back to his homework.

---

Later that night, alone in his room, Jaskier plugs his earbuds into his phone and watches the Tik Tok over and over. He finds the song Geralt used and adds it to his Work Is Tough playlist, which he’s allowed to play over the loudspeakers at the store so long as he’s working a solo shift.

He watches Mr. White Hair’s plush pink lips move around the words and dreams of kissing them someday, as far-fetched as that scenario is (because this video is definitely not for him, that’s impossible):

“My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.

So won't you kill me, so I die happy.

My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury,

or wear as jewelry; whichever you prefer.”

Fucking Dashboard Confessional. Of course. One of Jaskier’s favorite bands from his emo days in middle school. If this really was for Jaskier, if this really was a legitimate attempt at online flirtation by Mr. White Hair himself, it was working.

Jaskier buries his head in his pillow and sighs.

#geraskier fic #geraskier tik tok au #there will be a part 2 i promise #geraskier fanfic #geraskier #geraskier au #all I do is make aus all day and work retail #geraskier fluff #flirty geralt #influencer geralt #party city employee jaskier #college student jaskier #geraskier college au #geraskier alternate universe #oops I keep making cute shit

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