#gay angel but make him more jewish

[morphean42]

Falsettos unpopular opinions because two people asked for this and honestly I don’t give a fuck anymore. I want to state this isn’t in response to anyone in particular, though, and if you get offended by any of these think about why. For a good reason? Please tell me and I’d love to debate it, truly. For a petty reason? You’re simply part of the problem.

1. They are Jewish. End of story. If I see anything related to Christianity or Christmas or whatever the fuck with them… shut up. Yes Whizzer is half-Jewish, yes in the revival Cordelia isn’t Jewish (WHICH BRINGS ME TO ANOTHER POINT ILL GET INTO LATER), yes they are most likely secular as evidenced by Mendel’s “religions just a trap” and ‘Days Like This’, no this does not give you the right to ignore their ETHNICITY AND CULTURE.

2. It’s okay to like the revival more. It’s not okay to ignore the original just because you get blinded by conventionally attractive men. Going to my Cordelia point, she’s Jewish in the original, her line ‘Shiksa caterer’ is ‘Kosher caterer’. Again it’s fine if your headcanons and fanfics and fanarts are based on the revival, I love it too, but stop acting like it’s the only version.

3. Whizzer’s entire personality does not revolve around being gay. He’s not a sassy twink. He’s a full grown man with issues that need to be addressed. Again, I reiterate, he is not a twink. Stop. Drawing. Him. Skinny. And. Hairless. I don’t care if ‘ oh but but that’s just my art style!’ Shut up.

4. Correlated to the above point, here are things Whizzer is not: a prostitute, a drug addict, relying on Marvin for everything, a twink (saying that again to get it through peoples fucking skulls), innocent. I’m 100% positive if the people who had these headcanons watched the OBC version of the show they’d never continue to advocate for them… once more I’m begging you guys to look past Andy Randy’s beautiful face and actually use critical thinking skills when it comes to Whizzer.

5. Short but (not) sweet: don’t claim to understand Marvin if you haven’t watched In Trousers. Just don’t.

6. If you flat out hate any character in the show, you’re wrong. Yes I’m still mad about the Mendel thing; if you think any one character is worse than the rest and isn’t just a fully human person with flaws and nuance, you don’t understand the musical as well as you claim.

7. It’s not the ‘gay’ musical. If you like falsettos for Whizzvin and nothing else, please, just… I don’t even know. There’s so much more to it than ‘ooo boys kissing.’ Please grow up, this leads into a whole other point but fetishisation is never okay, no matter who does it.

8. So many people treat Trina as either a perfect angel or just the side character in the way of the gay people. She’s an entire person, an entire character with flaws and hardship and terrible actions done by her and to her. Treat my homophobic queen with the respect she deserves, and acknowledge her faults too. It’s more misogynistic to treat her as perfect when she has issues too than just saying ‘she’s never done anything wrong’.

9. Stop making AIDS jokes.

10. This next one is probably the most iffy on the list. I will never be one to police fandom and creation, you can engage with material in any fucking way you like it literally doesn’t matter to me… but I dislike AUs. Now, I’ll always enjoy a little fun, adding in a twist like lesbian Whizzvin, or enjoying a feel good college AU. But. Especially for Falsettos the canon events are so fucking important and cannot be disregarded as casually as some do. AIDS is an extremely important part of the story, as well as the fact that both Marvin and Whizzer are men. I’m trans myself, but I dislike making them so simply because everything about their characters, all the characters, are so highly specific and important to take these aspects away is to disrespect the message of the musical.

11. It’s very important Mendel is straight. I see some people headcanon him as bisexual or trans or so on, and this just feels so wrong to me. Trina and Mendel are straight and that’s why their acceptance and love for the others in the Tight Knit Family is so important, especially Trina struggles with moving away from the idea that these ‘homosexual tendencies’ are wrong. They are straight but they love Whizzvin and the lesbians just as much as anyone else.

12. This one is so petty and I accept that, but… HIS NAME IS NOT MARVIN GARDENS. GARDEN IS A JOKE CHRISTIAN BORLE MADE BASED ON MONOPOLY. Jesus guys please just stop it it’s so stupid, William Finn didn’t have a last name for Marvin on purpose, and though I can’t do more than theorise what that purpose was, Gardens is so stupid. It’s not even funny. Same goes for Cohen, which just is odd. The only name I could begin to accept is Falsetto, and even then… just work around the last name in your fics.

12 1/2. SIDE TANGENT Jason would never take Weisenbachfeld as his last name. As a child of divorce… no. He’ll never view Mendel as a true father over his own dad, especially after Falsettoland, and he wouldn’t take that name. Hell, I’d known my ex step-father since I was two and I’d never have taken his last name. So, please, I never want to see Jason Weisenbachfeld again. That’s just not how it works.

At the end of the day this is just me alone in my room bitching… I just hope these points resonate with others.

[mary-laib]

I'm thinking of writing a very long, multi-chapter human!au fic about Alastor (might be the caffiene talking and tomorrow I'll forget to go through with it lol) but I've got a ton of headcannons and have been thinking about a timeline for this thing for months now. Only thing is, I'm making a lot of ocs for it (keeping only Husk and Mimsy in the story) and I want the characters to be as era-accurate and culturally accurate as possible, so I was wondering if anybody here wanted to help beta it while I'm writing out the timeline and details.

I'm doing a ton of research, but I feel like for some of it, it's best to get real-person explanations on things, so here are some of the characters and details about them that I'd like to hear people's personal experiences with:

•Alastor's mother's side of the family:

African American with a lot of cultural roots in their history, such as their practice of Voodoo, and Fijian ancestry (I'd like to reference or even introduce a Fijian character, but I mainly add this piece of info to give Alastor some background with Cannibalism, not necessarily to introduce a character that actually practices). I'm p sure I have most of this down (outside of voodoo, which I'm still researching and will be putting a fantastical twist on) but if anybody has info or personal experiences they'd like to share, please reach out to me.

•Alastor's father's side of the family:

Alastor's father was non-religious, but grew up with an older sister in a catholic household. My dad's catholic so I'm p certain I can work with this, but again, help is welcome.

•Gay Muslim character that appears later:

I know a decent amount about Islam (more than I do about judiasm and I have jewish family lol) but I'd appreciate some tidbits on writing him since I'm def not Muslim myself and plan on writing a lot about this character's experience with discrimination, going to mosque, daily prayers and duties, and Qur'an lore, specifically relating to angels and armies in the afterlife/end of the world.

•Gang characters:

I'll admit that I'm not well-verses in early 1900's gang etiquette, but it's my hyperfixation rn so this is what's happening.

•Russian Husk:

I have some knowledge of Russian culture (specifically in a historical context) but am also looking for info relating to other east-European countries (such as Germany and Slovakia) since his background is going to have him moving around a lot before coming to the US.

•New Yorkers:

A lot of these characters come from New York (due to immigration, city-backgrounds, entertainment industry, etc.) and I'm p confident in my historical knowledge of the city and state, but fun facts are appreciated nonetheless.

•The Queers:

I'm planning on adding multiple gay/lesbian/bi characters to interact with Alastor's ace-ness to kind of compare to. I know some about old-time gay clubs, but if anybody wants to lmk more about them, I'd love to hear it.

•Tech:

I have no idea how modern tech works, so if I'm gonna write about Alastor starting his radio biz through mechanical work, I think I should know a thing or two about how it works lol

Anyways thanks! Might add more later!

[frogadir]

Genuine question what is it about cos that you love so much, ive been following you for years and i got into 03 lately and i'm interested to hear your perspective

Hello this is the funniest ask I've gotten in a long time so thank you I'm being 100% serious. I got several paragraphs into answering this and then I realized maybe bullet points would be fine because no one wants to read all of that

I am jewish (Very Important Context)

Due to my jewish upbringing and personal experience with spirituality I was primed to see it wherever I looked

I watched/read all three versions fma when I was 13 and became obsessed with edgelord elric due to my #emo #depressed middle schooler sensibilities

But also because he was very jewish to me. the sparknotes on this are: atheism despite having met god. tree of life on his gate of truth. also google jacob wrestling with the angel. That literally happened to edward elric. Also manga hohenheim is arguably jewish that's a different post though.

Edward elric continues to occupy my mind for the next three years

I get more depressed and jewish and also become interested in art from and about ww.i and its aftermath

Now I am age 16 and cos gets recommended to me on youtube. like someone just uploaded the entire movie

That was the one bit of fma I never got around to so I was like okay let's check it out

I watch a movie that feels like it was created in a lab to cause as much psychological damage to me as possible

I hate it but I'm 16 and obsessed with how depressed and gay edward elric looked in it and I think to myself I have to look like him and this influences the way I dress and wear my hair from that moment on

Wait edward elric (jewish) was fighting nazis (real) ???

I watch it again

Edward elric (jewish) went to weimar germany (real) in 1923 and stopped the na.zis (real) from invading the parallel world he's from on the night of a (real) (historical) failed na.zi uprising. He stays in our (real) world and it is implied he continues to not only fight na.zis (real) but advocate against the use of nuclear weapons (real)

So absurd I can't stop thinking about it

Seven years later here we are

If you asked me if I thought it was a good movie I wouldn't even be able to give you a straight answer like from a technical standpoint yes the animation is great the music is great… however there is more to a movie than just pictures and sounds… the pictures and sounds come together to tell a story… and the story here is. Well their hearts were in the right place. I think. I think it's got a generally anti-na.zi message but on a first watch it was definitely strange to see that element mixed with a fictional world in the way that it was. I hate that they tried to make us feel bad for alfons he knew what he was doing idgaf that he just wanted to build rockets 🥺 Having the roma character secretly work with the na.zis was. hmm idk about that. but holy shit am I glad they used the word roma. Making bradley's real-world doppleganger not only be jewish but a Real Life jewish man was also a choice! One thing I actually find interesting that a lot of people hate is that they made doppleganger hughes a na.zi... like in 03 they do say that those who benefit from violence and refuse to oppose it are complicit in it... dude was Just Following Orders as a soldier in a genocidal military like him being a real life na.zi makes more sense than a lot of things in cos 😭

Is there anything else I should add. The theme of dreams vs reality and what that has to do with ed's emotional journey is interesting. Winry looked awesome too. Love how al becomes ed and ed becomes their mother. Hohenheim envy chew toy was funny. I like when ed crashes the car. I like the scene where it's implied he drank himself to sleep. Lost heaven is a great song.

So like... I wouldn't say that I "love" cos... but there are many things about it that are so fascinating to me I can't look away... it's certainly provided me with a lot of entertainment... and cos ed is peak... I hope this answers your question 😭

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 1 - Side B

Propaganda below ⬇️

Kristen

Once known as a Chosen of Helio, Kristen lost faith, found out she was gay, escaped the abusive church, and helps a lonely abused goddess return from the dead and continue the goddess of mystery. She also ends up creating her own god in the middle there, but decides it's kind of super annoying and eventually nopes out.

Kristen might be skirting a couple lines here so I'll provide my reasoning for why I think she might belong in the competition but feel free to choose as you wish. Kristen used to follow Helio, and her entire relationship with religion and Helio is meant to show a story of a queer teen leaving an abusive Christian church (I'm not sure if it's specifically Catholic or not, I'm Jewish and don't really understand the differences very well). Throughout the story Kristen meets Helio, finds out how much of a dick he is, finds out how terrible the Church has been and becomes more aware of how her family and the Church are racist/homophobic/abusive/etc., learns more about the world and breaks her ties with the Church, and then goes to find her own faith and a god worth worshipping.

girl is miserable for so much of the first season. girl is battling the brain demons. girl is battling the actual demons. and the actual angels. and the football coach who she knows from church. girl has brothers named bucky bricker and cork. girl invents a new god and cannot get people to convert to her faith apart from a singular dude named craig because she is so visibly annoyed by her own god. girl is gay and has a werewolf girlfriend. girl is so kinky. girl has a dexterity score of 4. not modifier. score. i'm kissing girl on the mouth i love her a lot.

She was a chosen prophet of Helio but oops she’s a very lesbian and so she has to battle with her faith hating gay people as she realizes she is gay people. Early on dies and goes to heaven and discovers Helio is a frat bro and doesn’t really vibe with that. Eventually dies again and fights past angels to get to Helios office and finds her old principal (who died to resurrect her the first time she died, it’s a long story, watch dimension 20, shits wild). And so he makes a deal to help her if she helps him break out of heaven. And also while she’s in heaven she makes a new god whole cloth out of her current beliefs. (She later finds that god annoying because it’s the embodiment of “YES! WOW! YOU CAN DO IT!!” The god turns from YES! Into Yes? In her changing faith. She later resurrects an old god of dreams who was corrupted). But yeah so she has religious trauma out the wazoo. She went to church camp that was actually a front for a cult within the Helioic faith. Idk if it’s Catholicism exactly cause I’m not catholic but it’s clearly parallel so some real world Christ based religion.

At one point they drop 10 stories because they thought they could use their ribbon to fly. They couldn’t.

her entire arc over fantasy high's first season is realizing she was gay and also that her church and the people in it were basically a cult which like SAMESIES and she does end up going to heaven after dying by slipping on corn and getting incredibly disappointed by the jesus equivalent of her universe (his name is helio and he is a frat boy) and after she's resurrected she makes her own god (not very catholic sorry) and preaches about it (pretty catholic of her tbh.) aside from the religious trauma some other kristen fun facts and highlights are that she once ribbon danced down the center of a spiral staircase and lived, she carried a bible around for a good chunk of her freshman year of high school, and her last name isn't a reference to anything because applebees does not exist in the world of fantasy high.

View more propaganda in her tag

SCP-166

Catholic deer girl. She’s just nature themed. Wants to have access to a Catholic phone line. But is not allowed to due to it risking the possibility of exposing SCPs to the world. But she has a rosary. Just unhinged.

She was just left in a convent and was raised catholic. But I love her because she has the most unhinged father and she's close to getting there istg

[zoedaw-time]

Ocverse infodump👀???

OHOHOHI GLAD YOU ASKED CAUSE THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN

General Gist: They’re for a game I’m planning that has both a story mode and a free play mode. A roguelite with multiple playable characters but it’s gay and you fight hordes of angels. You unlock the characters via the story mode!

Story modes plot is how their town is slowly being invaded and colonized by hordes of white missionaries seeking to take advantage of the towns location being in a spot where the barriers between the spirit and mortal worlds are weak enough to open rifts between the two.

The main theme I’m exploring is love. How love changes and inspires. With characters love for each other, love for home, even love in faith can inspire them to stand up against tyranny. That love isn’t the same as aimless pacifism or inaction.

There’s quite a lot of them so hope you don’t get lost in it. I can always send you a script over in DMs if you want to read the whole story so far! (It will be subjected to change).

Achilles (any): They’re the ones who spark the domino effect that’s in the story. She’s a recent move in to the town and is an extremely curious kid who is strong and skilled enough with a shovel to take down a several hundred pound angel.

He is determined as hell, though is able to recognize when she needs to stop. Feeling guilty when the trail she was following was a dead end and a hurt person. Also she’s intersex bigender so he’s gender fuckery.

They’re so special to me because we never see intersex characters in media. I wanted to represent so many people I knew and know (I’m questioning intersex!), and they’re the original main character before I turned every teen playable!

Eli (she/they): Achilles online partner before she moved into the town. Unlike Achilles who is patient waiting to strike, she goes all out with a baseball bat. With her motto being “I’m fucking taken them down with me.”

She’s a brutally honest scrappy girl. Willing to argue and stand up to those who she knows is wrong. Standing right next to her friends no matter what. She’s part of the Navajo tribe and is a femby (femme enby!).

Orginally was meant to be a dead partner Achilles grieved, she become so interesting alive that she gets to be in the story alive and well to love.

Stig (they/them): They’re the resident fashion monarch! If anyone knows a thing about fashion it’s them. The want to be stylish also extends to their weapon which is a yo-yo! Fighting with a yo-yo is always impressive and they’re quite a master at it.

They’re understanding and empathetic but can go too far and if they think something is going on, they’re willing to break boundaries. Though always making sure to apologize if they’re wrong. They’re AMAB enby cause we need more of them in fiction. (They also get a romance arc with Achilles and Eli hehe).

Honestly? Wanted to see a lot more AMAB enbies in media and Stig was perfect for it! Fun fact: Stig means owl and with those big shades it’s not hard to see why!

Rook (he/they): A DnD history nerd incarnate, he’s even got a sword he carries around casually. Fighting wise he’s not fast but he’s a wall, knowing exactly to apply pressure with his sword and blocks with it well.

Though you’d think he’d be a meek spineless nerd, he’s very well spoken and knows when to stand up. With bravery being a value he holds close. He does get irritated at times and can snap but makes sure he lets his anger out without hurting anyone. He’s aroace (closest is QP for him), and is Jewish! As well as being adopted by two gay dads, one of them being muslim the other being buddhist.

Originally was one of my most forgettable characters, giving him his current design just hits oomf. Plus is an exercise to writing different faiths and of course we need an aroace character who’s happy about being aroace and can kick serious ass.

Bit (he): He’s all guy! Just with a better coat of paint. A gamer with an ancestral magical spear. Unlike the others who are fast or careful, Bit likes to just go all out stabbing even using it to pierce through multiple angels.

He’s a rough boy, participating in wrestling with his brother. Extremely passionate as well exerting himself 100%. Though he does get blind sighted and the passion he puts in can have colaterral damage. Still he loves those around him. GNC Irish-Scottish transmasc lesbian (he is part of a giant polycule that grows in the story).

A lot of onscreen transmasc representation is all about trying to go masculine heavily. So having a transmasc character who’s genuinely just a boy with breasts is something refreshing to see. (And yes he is inspired by Wally Darling).

Lupi (she/paw): Werewolf time! She’s a werewolf and is connected to the rifts in the town. She fights like a wild animal, grappling onto her foes and crushing their necks to repeatedly biting them.

She’s true to herself and incredibly crafty, able to think outsmart her way through tough situations. Though she’s also highly affectionate, she isn’t above pranking people. Paw is an agender sapphic wolf (and is part of the polycule!).

One of the ones I had so much fun designing, wanted to strike a balance between feral wolf like fake and humanoid in my style was a challenge. However taking the usual bubble mouth in cartoons and interpreting it as a snout did favors!

Harley (she): You’d think she’d be all edge but she’s just a teenage girl trying to make it. Unlike all the others, she fights with genuinely magic! Using a glove she moves her hands to form glyphs on the floor that explode or do other moves!

She’s a goth kid who loves her friend, family and husband*(boyfriend but she and Mit’sa pretend to be married). Though she says unsettling things, it’s all for good show. Behind it all she’s just a sweet devious jokester! But she’s not perfect as she often views herself disconnected from culture and tries too hard to connect at times.

Honestly she’s the character with the most me in it. Story wise she and her sister ran away with their grandpa from the Philippines so that Harley can transition safely and her sister Skyler can be open as a lesbian. Struggling with transness and culture, shes me when I was 13 in the most raw and real ways.

Mit’saidl (he/they): Diego the Explorer as a teenage boy haha! He loves to keep distance and quick on his feet. Equipped with a compound bow he uses rapidly to deliver hard hitting arrows!

He’s an adventurous kind-hearted boy. Though this comes at a fault when it comes to hurting people and not angels. He also loves sharing himself and his culture, often practicing braiding with Harley’s hair as well as teaching her phrases in his language.

While Harley is meant to reflect not being sure culturally, Mit’saidl is the opposite to her in that regards. He knows very well his culture! Infact he’s trans and used the name Mit’saidl as a sort of pun. As he’s Kwakiutl and speaks kwak’wala! It’s a language defined by suffixes for tone and etc. Mit’sa is the word for kiss while idl is the suffix meaning astonished! Meaning when he kisses Harley and she says his name, he smiles knowing how clever and cheeky he is. (Also yes they’re T4T!!! We need more POC T4T!!!)

Sam(he/any): Violinist little guy!! Like his brother he has an incredible passion for music! It also plays into his fighting as the world freezes and he plays a tune and affects all the enemies around him with anything. Plus he’s brothers with Bit!

They’re a bit too optimistic, often believing in the power of authority to help. However he quickly learns that he has to do it himself. He’s a bit hardheaded and stubborn, but it helps him stand by his beliefs.

Not much extra commentary on him. He’s also intersex like Achilles but overall he’s been a character who I love because he’s a little guy.

Victoria(she/pretty): A The pretty princess of the group! And like every pretty princess she gets a big ass sniper rifle! She’s fast and hits hard from distance with it.

Though she is definitely self-absorbed, she knows what to fight for. She is actually incredibly keen and logistic. Able to deduce when shit is up. She values her achievements and awards, but when face with the choice to give her friends up or her awards. She’d pick her friends

She’s canonically NPD (I got NPD!) Don’t have a set gender or sexuality but she’s like “I’m so fucking cool.” However story wise she’s grieving her dad, with her and her sister in the story being exploration of different grief types.

That’s the main introductory gang!! I’ll post for the others! I can always send you the script if you want fnfmfm

[pretensesoup]

Queer books, day 12/30

I've been trying to mentally reconstruct my history with this play. Back in 2001 or 2002, Jesse (my Ask a Medievalist co-host) told me I should read it. Why? I don't remember. But I did everything Jesse told me to do back in those days, so I dutifully went out to a bookstore (it might actually have been Canterbury Books, which still existed back in those days, but it might also have been Paul's?). I was only able to find one part, so I bought it and read it and decided it was brilliant. Then in 2003, the TV version was announced (that's why there is a photo of Emma Thompson on the cover of this version) and I was able to buy them both combined.

Back in let's call it 2002, I was 19, knew some LGBT people and thought they were fine and cool, but that was about where my thinking began and ended. This play...I mean, as a work of art, it blows my mind to this day. As a record of a particular historical time period, it's amazing. It's magical realism, it's Jewish in a way that I understand Judaism (not just in opposition to other people's religions, but in contrast to more orthodox elements within Judaism), it's gay, it's about death, it's about life... I don't know, it's brilliant. And of course, a few years later I got to see Mr. Kushner interviewed on stage and enjoy this conversation between the hapless student who had been selected to interview him and the man himself:

Student: So Belize has this speech where he says... "Big ideas are all you love. "America" is what Louis loves. Well I hate America, Louis. I hate this country. It's just big ideas, and stories, and people dying, and people like you. The white cracker who wrote the National Anthem knew what he was doing. He set the word "free" to a note so high nobody can reach it. That was deliberate. Nothing on earth sounds less like freedom to me." So why do you hate America?

Tony Kushner: (with the patience of a goddamn saint) I think everyone who has taken an entry-level English class can identify that the characters are not the author.

SO.

The play centers on Prior, who is dying of AIDS and his ex-boyfriend Louis, who is having a really hard time with Prior dying. Prior is not exactly thrilled about it either. Then there's Roy Cohn (the evil, evil lawyer who was a historical figure and also died of AIDS) and his clerk, Joe, a repressed gay Mormon. And then Joe's drugged-out wife Harper, his mother Hannah, and an angel.

Look, I don't know how to describe the plot very well. Prior is ill, and Louis abandons him, and then sleeps with Joe. Roy Cohn is in the AZT clinical trial (the first generation of HIV/AIDS drugs) and is trying to blackmail someone (unnamed) into making sure he doesn't get the placebo. Harper suspects something is up with her marriage. Prior is visited by the angel, called a prophet, and asked to help fix things in heaven. Then Hannah, Joe's mother shows up and meets Prior.

The thing about this play is that all of the characters are really, really human. Louis does something terrible in running out on Prior, and he KNOWS it's terrible, and he can't not do it. And at the end, Prior forgives him. Joe walks out on Harper, who is sick and needs him, and in the end she realizes that maybe she needs him less than she thought, and she lets him go. And everyone does terrible things, really, and they feel bad and they get forgiven. Excluding Roy Cohn, who is evil. But in the end, the ghost of Ethel Rosenberg says kaddish for him. So maybe the message is that you, too, can be forgiven. A little bit, anyway.

One time I went running in Central Park and I went to the Bethesda fountain, which is referenced in here, and it was awesome.

Key quote:

I've lived through such terrible times and there are people who live through much worse. But you see them living anyway. When they're more spirit than body, more sores than skin, when they're burned and in agony, when flies lay eggs in the corners of the eyes of their children - they live. Death usually has to take life away. I don't know if that's just the animal. I don't know if it's not braver to die, but I recognize the habit; the addiction to being alive. So we live past hope. If I can find hope anywhere, that's it, that's the best I can do. It's so much not enough. It's so inadequate. But still bless me anyway. I want more life.

Now I haven't even gotten to how much I learned from this about how characters have give and take in dialog, and this and that, but I've written a very long post already, so I'll stop here. 50/10, go read it.

[unicornpoop]

Random stuff of this AU, The Wilbe Hotel. I hope you guys like.

Heaven in this AU has rings like Hell in the Hellaverse does.

Humility= Purple (Where all Winners are)

Chastity = Indigo (A ring full of pure love)

Diligence = Blue (All hardworking people live there). It’s built like a city.

Kindness = Green (Where everyone is too nice and compliment each other)

Charity = Yellow (Where everyone goes to give)

Temperance = Orange (a ring of moderation and self restraint)

Patience = Red (Where lots of Spas and yoga places are)

Eve is the villain of season 1. She resembles kazimir29’s design of Eve. Only difference is she has horns and demonic wings. Her demonic exorcist army consist of Succubus’s.

Charlie speaks fluent Hebrew. This is because she’s a Israeli-Jewish Angel.

Vaggie is El Salvadorian like canon Vaggie, but is also half Filipino. So if she were human she’d have dark brown hair, almond shape brown eyes, and Olive skin. She speaks Spanish and Tagalog (Filipino).

Vaggie lost an arm instead of an eye. She still has both eyes on this AU. She loses her left arm instead. Charlie builds her a gold robotic arm. Not only does she lose an arm, she loses her wings and tail.

Vaggie wields a demonic pitchfork as her weapon. While Charlie can wield a angelic spear (resembles canon Vaggie’s).

Charlie gains wings when she goes into her episode 8 angelic form. She gains 6 (Like Emily and Lucifer). She lacks a tail.

Charlie (if she were a human) would be Israeli. She’d have tan skin, blue eyes, and raven black hair.

Angel Dust was from a good Italian family from New York. He became a famous movie star for romance movies. He died because the guy he was secretly dating was from the mob. His appearance would be black and blue. He is polite and sincere and has no problem being cautious. His humor is refined and polished much to Charlie’s dismay. She tries to get him to be comfortable with sex thinking all the romance bullshit is boring.

Charlie is a Huskdust shipper as is Vaggie. Charlie gives them tips on how to make their relationship spicy.

Alastor may be somewhat similar to 2P! Alastor, but he is still Aro Ace having zero interest in sex or romance.

Their sexualities are the same. There’s no point of changing them. Angel is still gay.

Nifty is calm and likes to break things. She LOVES filth. She died because of a psycho wife she worked for. Yes, she does kill Eve.

Not everyone is associated with the colors blue. Charlie is associated with purple, Vaggie with the color indigo, Alastor with the color blue, Nifty with the color green, Angel with blue/greens, Husk with pastel oranges and yellows, and Sir Pentious with pastel reds.

Sera and Emily are high-ranking Goetia’s associated with the color reds. Emily in this AU mirrors Charlie’s.

Lute is way meaner to Vaggie than in canon. Vaggie and Lute hate each other way more on this AU than in canon. Their episode 8 fight is way more brutal (at least for Vaggie).

Lute is a Succubus and a candle head (the only thing that makes her c angle head is the candle on her head). Lute is a self hating lesbian. Seeing Vaggie happy and out triggers her. Lute loses her right eye in episode 8, instead of losing an arm.

Vox posts positive news around Heaven. Valentino owns a studio that promotes romance movies. He’s anti Sex. Velvette is a positive influencer always lifting up women (and others). Like canon Velvette she puts on fashion shows.

[sanctaignorantia]

I come to bring a compilation of information and yes all at once. The things here I took from old interviews so a lot could have changed throughout Luke's life (or not hehe) and other things are just my conclusions without confirmation (based on my searches on the internet).

Luke is a fun and intelligent person, a nerd full of charisma and style, loaded with the best British style he could have, a cigarette in one hand, a drink in the other, a smile and beautiful hazel eyes.

I hope you enjoy it because there are things about him that make me smile. :)

-> Luke Brandon Field (Luke Shoefield) was born on March 21, 1988 in Paddington which is a region in the City of Westminster, London, England.

-> His height is 1,83 m

-> He currently lives alone in an apartment in Los Angeles.

-> He is the son of Gary Shoefield and (probably and without confirmation) of Sharon Lorraine Price.

-> Luke is from a Jewish family. He grew up in a relatively Jewish neighborhood.

Here are some links about him:

IMDb | United Agents

Facebook 1 | 2

Twitter | Instagram | Spotify

-> Luke has as friends Daniel Sharman, Ian Bohen, Taika Waititi, Pamela Francesca and among others that I wouldn't know how to name, but to know more just visit his instagram. On his facebook there are very old and funny photos from the time when he studied. On instagram there are several pictures of him with his friends, his father and work. He was always fun and funny.

-> His name Luke is after Luke Goss, member of the English boyband Bros.

-> Luke's taste in music was influenced by his father from an early age, he was a fan of Glam Rock, Punk Rock and 70's Pop.

-> He is a fan of bands and musicians like Nico, David Bowie, Elvis, The Clash, Sweet, The Strokes, Lou Reed, T. Rex and others.

-> He has a band with Camila Gray called ROGUES.

-> Luke is an Arsenal fan.

-> Luke's godfather is an actor too and influenced him.

-> His favorite drink is Canadian Club.

-> Her idols are her father (Gary Shoefield) and Oliver Reed.

-> He went to drama school in New York when he was 18-19 years old (circa 2006) and had to live independently for the first time.

-> He went to Los Angeles in 2008.

-> Became the first person in England to be accepted by UCLA to study Drama & Film.

-> His first appearance in a film was in 2006 in 'Alien Autopsy'.

-> His first starring role was in 'Where the Road Meets the Sun' (2011) and here Luke won the Best Actor award at the Los Angeles Asian Film Festival.

-> He once said:

"I'd love to do a film set in the swinging 60's, a Michael Cane type role or a lower east side punk in 1970s New York. That would be fun."

-> He dreams of working one day with Woody Allen and Tom Hanks.

-> He grew up surrounded by Punk Rock, his home as a child was "two doors down where Marc Bolan lived".

Marc Bolan was an English musician, singer and songwriter. He was one of the pioneers of the glam rock movement in the early 1970s with his band T. Rex. (wikipedia) But Marc passed away in 1977 and Luke was born in 1988, but his mother was Marc's neighbor and grew up there in the 70s.

-> On the same street lived Paul McCartney.

-> At the age of 5-6 he was visited by Brian Connolly.

Brian Francis Connolly was a Scottish musician, best known as the lead singer of the British glam rock band Sweet.(wikipedia)

-> His father at that time (around 1994) was The Sweet's agent.

-> Luke's first show was when he was 6 years old with Gary Glitter and met him.

-> Luke was teased at school for being a David Bowie fan because everyone said he was too gay.

-> Luke has Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars (1973) as his favorite David Bowie album.

-> He was writing a book about Nico (originally it was going to be a screenplay).

Christa Päffgen was a German singer, songwriter, model and actress, better known by the pseudonym Nico.(wikipedia) And I couldn't find any other information about this, the interview I took this part from is 2016.

-> Luke describes Nico as "German goddess with an unusual voice".

-> When asked which song he would like played at his funeral, he replies: 'Afraid' by Nico or 'London Is The Place For Me' by Lord Kitchener (Aldwyn Roberts).

-> When asked if he would have a theme song he replies that it would be Reptilia from The Strokes.

-> He agrees that he looks like a vampire and that even people comment on it.

-> He says his reference for vampires is Bram Stoker.

-> When asked which he would prefer: Buffy or Angel, he answers Buffy. (All this part about vampires is from an interview for Muse by CLIO, where he talks about Lestat too.)

-> Luke's father worked in the entertainment business for 40 years, music, film, TV, aliens and holograms. Luke grew up with it so he frequented many studios and labels and was always on set or surrounded by notable actors or people.

-> In school he liked Shakespeare and musicals.

-> He would be a lawyer if he wasn't an actor, but he doesn't think it would suit him.

-> He returned to London after university and discovered a documentary that talked about fighting the remaining nazis that existed in London and this sparked his interest in their culture and religion. He spent a year and a half doing research and investigating, he discovered that his neighbor across the street (who was 91 years old) was part of this anti-nazi group and that even his late grandfather participated. He was greatly influenced by this story and it helped him rediscover his Jewish identity and feel comfortable with his culture.

-> Luke is not orthodox. When asked if all this helped him find a path to his religion, he replies:

"Exactly. I mean, I'm not Orthodox. But I feel peace of mind, a sense of... I've now found where I belong in some way. I'm sure it'll probably change in a year, but I feel good about it now."

-> He is the only member of his acting class from 9 years ago who managed to make a living out of it. He says:

"We've all come close, we've all been rejected. We all work hard. Nine times out of 10 you'll get losses, so it is for the thick-skinned. If you're not living, breathing, smoking it each day, it's not for you. I'm the only person in my acting class from nine years ago who makes a living out of this. If someone came to me at 16 and was like, "I want to act," I 'd be like, "Do it now. If it doesn't work out within two or three years, do something else you enjoy. Or find something to do and if you want to do it on the side, then great. Because if you put too much emphasis on it, it will hurt you."

-> Luke's father also lives in LA. Luke wants to stay close to his friends and family. He says:

"My dad lives in L.A.; he's my best friend. I step out of line, he'll tell me immediately. And I've got good friends."

And:

"I don't think I could ever get to that place because my friends, my family, are the most important, the most constant, things in my life. Apart from my football team, of course."

(when he says my football team he means Arsenal because he's a fan.)

-> Luke likes to be professional (and very responsible) when it comes to money. He says:

"As an actor, I'm a professional. As a friend, I'm a professional. I'm there to do my job. But I also need to be professional about money. Obviously you have an accountant, but you need to do your own checks and balances. Otherwise you can get into a lot of trouble."

-> Luke is a person who runs after opportunities, who creates them without waiting for them to knock on his door. He says:

"Because you can't wait for opportunities. You've got to do it yourself. Like how I found out about that story that moved me about Judaism. What did I do? I decided to do research, write and get it into the public. And I sold it to the BBC. I'm not saying it will get made or that I'll be in it, but at least I feel like I have some control over my artistic destiny, rather than waiting for a manager or an agent to tell me there's an audition next week, or I might get this role. I think it's the same in any artistic pursuit. In music, you make a song, you try and produce it, you get friends to do it, you put it up on Spotify. If you want to do advertising, you come up with several ideas, then go to the agencies and pitch them. See if you can make that difference. I don't really feel like opportunities come too often. You gotta make your own."

-> During the pandemic (in 2020) he:

read Brian Southall's Sex Pistols: 90 Days at EMI;

when asked what he was watching he replies:

"Just started The Spy on Netflix, which is very watchable. Started off in isolation watching the mandatory Love Is Blind and Tiger King, but have delved into my Criterion Collection subscription. Just finished watching Betty Blue—a masterpiece!"

*And here I open a parenthesis to talk about the day he and Assad posted about Betty Blue on instagram. Luke had already watched the film in 2020 and then became a fan. On the day in question he thanks a friend for the movie poster. Luke has a collection of posters in his apartment.

practiced 120 push-ups on a machine he successfully set up;

his hobbies (during the pandemic so I don't know if he still does) was learning to cook and learning Welsh.

-> When asked what was the best work email he received during the pandemic, he replies:

"Happy Birthday, you throw the best bday parties, this must really suck for you... hahaha."

-> Luke would like to play villains, he says:

"It's interesting that the bad guy don't think they are bad."

I hope you enjoyed this short summary of who Luke Brandon Field is and I hope from the bottom of my heart that he gets everything he ever dreamed of and deserves because he truly is an amazing person.

sources: models1 | ECFS | Please Kill Me | Muse by Clio\ 2 | PressReader | BCB CHAT EP 6

[gaykarstaagforever]

This is a list of scripted ABC shows from the last season. I haven't heard of most of them because I'm not 63 so I'm going to guess what they are about from the titles and then check and see how right I was. Or if my idea is better.

1. The Conners was that reboot / sequel of Roseanne. But then Roseanne was insane and racist in real life so they kicked her off of it. I assume it was retooled to now be about the family becoming private eyes and traveling from town to town in a gadget-loaded super RV, solving mysteries.

You should all note before I go on that most of what I know about network television comes from the 70s and 80s. Back when it was also cheap and lame, but at least fun.

2. Abbott Elementary. Probably just Community / The Office, but in an elementary school filled with a diverse cast of quirky characters who only seem to date each-other. I bet they do a lot of jokes about helicopter parents and people getting offended by seemingly innocuous things. There is probably a sassy brown person whose culture is played for light-hearted comic relief.

3. Station 19. Firefighter show, where all the firefighters look like soap opera actors. Most of the show is people having arguments and making out, then like 3 times a season stunt people in face-hiding fire gear fight a big fire inspired by some thing that happened in the news around the time they were filming the show. I bet the tag line is "And you thought the hottest action would be the fires!" Occasionally old actors from 80s movies will cameo as someone's parents. I am falling asleep just typing about it.

4. Grey's Anatomy. Oh my god. In real life these people would have retired from being bad doctors by now. Or be in jail.

5. The Rookie. I looked this one up due to the last post. Nathan Fillion plays a 50 year old rookie LAPD officer. Because they wanted to do a cop show with him but he's too old for that, without the premise. He probably has to learn about diversity and drugs or something. No one ever gets shot and they don't show LAPD white supremacist cop-gangs doing dog fights or anything. Wasted potential.

6. The Goldbergs. I've heard of this. It was some writer's Everybody Hates Chris about his 80s secular Jewish family. Obnoxious old people watched it to be reminded about how they just don't make good rock music like that anymore, man, because they are too old and lazy to go find new music they might like via streaming platforms. It has been cancelled. Good, if only to spare me that recurring conversation with people I don't like.

7. Home Economics. A rich white homemaker lady gets divorced and has to get a job as a home ec teacher at a public junior high to make ends meet? And she slowly learns to laugh and love again, while also coming to realize that poorer people are good for more than just mowing your lawn. There are hijinks about her wearing $600 shoes that get covered in cake batter. She has to rent part of her house out to an Indian immigrant family. Starring Delta Burke from 1995.

8. The Good Doctor. Ha ha ha. That show about an autistic doctor, except Hollywood doesn't know what autism actually is so he's just a deranged lunatic who gets away with shitty behavior because he's good at hearts.

But not in the fun, House MD, way.

9. The Rookie: Feds. This got cancelled so that means it was bad, even by low network TV cop show standards. I don't even know how to do that. Uh...some 50 year old TV actress I probably wouldn't recognize quits being a crime professor to become an FBI agent, after her son FBI agent goes missing under mysterious circumstances? And it ended in a cliffhanger when she got attacked by a polar bear in the middle of the jungle.

10. Not Dead Yet. My Name is Earl, but if Earl was a nice zombie. He has a best friend guardian angel played by Jaleel White.

...This actually just sounds like Highway to Heaven, if Michael Landon had been a zombie. And instead of brains he eats Jell-O, and he can take his limbs off and send them into air ducts and up drain pipes to help people, like trained rats.

...I'd watch a couple episodes of that, I guess.

11. Will Trent. Oh give me a break.

Okay. There is guy named Will Trent, who is on the run from the...CIA, because he was with them but then someone framed him for killing the Speaker of the House with a poisoned lapel pin. He now travels from town to town, helping average people and their sexy sisters out of jams, while also trying to figure out who framed him and what their master plan is, to clear his name.

The last season ended with it looking like the real villain is the First Lady, who belongs to some ill-defined anti-America cult.

It's probably based on a book series from the early 2000s that only the loudest uncles read.

12. Big Sky. Some cowboy thing, probably. Where all the cowboys are hunky stoic white men who are millionaire ranch owners. But you are still supposed to sympathize with all their "we gotta keep a-hold of this land at any cost" violent toxic male shit, because you are a postmenopausal my mother and want to have sex with these men.

It's one of those shows that just "accidentally" has zero POC cast members, who aren't one-shot drug-runners or coyotes or thugs hired by rival ranch owners.

One-shot because that is how all of their characters are killed.

It probably got cancelled when some writer got smart and tried to do a thinly-veiled anti-Trump allegory and all the Evangelicals turned on it. Tucker Carlson probably got mad about it for 3 minutes, before he interviewed some Russian politician about how the Ukrainians hate Jesus.

13. The Company You Keep. Black women try starting and running a bakery. It quickly devolved into a romantic melodrama. Black audiences never cared and white audiences wanted more sexy rich cowboys.

I don't know. It's ABC. Every seasonal lineup has at least a couple token shows starring POCs that get immediately cancelled after one season, because they aren't serious attempts at anything outside of the politics and so never connect with an audience.

Also all of them are still written by white men, so what chance could any of them have, really?

14. Alaska Daily. Northern Exposure, but the protagonist edits a news blog when not busy solving quirky small-town mysteries. The Janitor from Scrubs might be in it.

...Well. WAS in it.

This Twin Peaks thing is hard to pull off in a compelling way unless you are willing to go kookoo-bananas with it.

15. A Million Little Things. This one "ended," which means the cast wanted too much money after so many seasons, so "the producers had always planned from the beginning to wrap things up after 5 seasons."

It was probably one of those shows that just follows a "typical American family," which happens to have soap opera problems every week based on things the writers heard CNN say people in the Midwest are mad enough over to vote for Trump again.

It probably had a regular cast of like 16 people, and was on the giant TV in the showroom of every US car dealership at least once. Until someone changed it to that show which is just Kitchen Nightmares, but Gordon Ramsey has been replaced by a balding round man who lacks his charm and good heart and is just an asshole to struggling restaurateurs.

You know the one.

Or, at least, your parents do.

Update: The Conclusion

[jodilin65]

MONDAY, JANUARY 31, 2022 It’s not even the first yet and already it’s black this, black that. Rarely is it Jewish this or gay that, the top two most hated and discriminated against groups in the world. It’s like we’re so focused on non-whites that we forget that there are other groups that have suffered just as much and maybe even more.

Never heard from Kim this month. I’ll give it a few days and then send a message asking what’s up. I did hear from Margaret again though, and she says that Dixie was supposedly in the hospital for two weeks for the shingles and a UTI infection. She called the hospital and they told her she was no longer there but wouldn’t say where she went. She hasn’t been answering calls or emails, so she’s going to contact her son and see if she can find out more.

The bamboo plant arrived and looks healthy. The tallest stalk is 10.5”.

Got some Angel perfume when we went to CVS yesterday. Got a great deal on it, too.

The weather has been absolutely awful in the 30s. I totally feel like I’m back at the old place and I’m not liking it at all.

I got a little worried yesterday morning. Enough to wake Tom up. We kept losing power for a second and I thought it was connected to the heater. Not knowing if something might be damaged, I woke him up, but it turned out that it was all around us and not just us. It went out five or six times.

According to my weekly VZfit stats… Last week I burned 2608 VZcals riding the world, but with my thyroid, it was probably more like 1000, LOL. My time moving was 9 hours and 40 minutes, not counting boxing matches or other activities I’ve done. Most importantly, I kept active and had fun. Completed Rides were…

Strada Statale 51, Italy 15.3 mi Miles

Magallanes y la Antartica, Chile 6.2 mi Miles

Cape Town, South Africa 5.3 mi Miles

Nordland, Norway 5.5 mi Miles

Mount Washington, New Hampshire 7.3 mi Miles

World’s Largest Dinosaur, Canada 4.2 mi Miles

Ronda - Spain 4.8 mi Miles

Death Road - Bolivia 9.1 mi Miles

FRIDAY, JANUARY 28, 2022 I finished the termite story! I’ve begun editing it. I really do hope the stars of this story end up reading it someday.

Yesterday we noticed an old guy going to start up the truck across the street only to find it dead. He’s been leaving it charge overnight. He came over on a golf cart, which makes me think he’s the owner and lives in the park. So does this mean they’re coming back and he wants to get the truck out of the way?

I hate the thought of being stuck with them for 2.5 months, but I knew they wouldn’t stay away forever. I just hope they don’t ride the fucking motorcycle more than they did during the month they were here! But now I get to have the stress of that hanging over my head again. That’s only assuming they really are on the way back. Maybe the guy just wants to use his truck for something else. I can hope anyway, but my guess is they’re on their way.

The planes are annoying again. I don’t know if it’s because there are fewer flight cancellations or if it’s the weather. The weather definitely sucks. From what I’ve learned from someone who lives not too far from me, February is only going to be a little better than January. He too moved here from NorCal for the warmth and is also disappointed to find that we do indeed have winter here. At least it’s warm from March to November.

I don’t really have any set riding plans anymore. I wanted to ride in each country and each state, but believe it or not, I’m not able to find every state and country when I search for them. So I’ll just ride whatever looks good at the moment. Some rides will be longer, but I don’t have to do them all at once.

Rode through Jordan and beautiful Monaco. Then I went to Senegal and what filth! Trash everywhere, buildings about to collapse, not one white person. Talk about a third-world country! However, the people were surprisingly well-dressed for being so poor. It was otherwise disgusting and sad to see. Dogs, goats, and donkeys were everywhere. Half-starving horses were pulling more people than they should. People were selling food I wouldn’t dare touch. There were a bunch of old beat-up boats and cars strewn about. Little kids wading barefoot through trash…

Why is it that no white country would ever be in such a condition? It’s like they just don’t give a shit. We definitely live like queens and kings in comparison. If anyone’s going to pollute the ocean it’s definitely them.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 27, 2022 Unless you’re on the southern tip of the state, Florida is NOT summery year-round. It sucks alright. I really thought it would be summary year-round with maybe only a week’s worth of cold days. Not a month’s worth. It’s still better than the old place and I definitely don’t regret moving. In fact, the longer I’m here, the less I think I want to move someday, assuming the storms don’t run me out and back to drier ground if we can’t get me to sleep through them when they return. This is such a cute little house. Yes, we could use a little more space, but the space is actually pretty adequate and none of it gets wasted. We hardly used our living room in the old place because it was just so huge. It’s so much cheaper to heat and cool as well. But who knows what the future holds? Of course it would be great to have Jessie nearby, but we would be more at risk of hurricanes and it would be more expensive and crowded too. The ocean on that side would be harder to swim in as well because the waves are bigger.

Speaking of Jessie, she has mixed emotions about moving. She should be arriving in the state today. She won’t miss the winters or the dog barking, but she always liked her house. Ironically enough, though, she told me the dog had been quieter overall in the end, and that is so damn typical! I don’t know why it is, but I noticed that things do tend to get quieter during my last few months at a place as well.

For $80, I joined VZfit for a year. My latest trips include Ireland, Denmark, the Netherlands, Switzerland, Austria, Scotland, Wales, and New Zealand. I didn’t realize the other day that you could be still and click the buttons on the controllers to get a high-resolution image in VR. It’s definitely the closest you’ll ever come to actually feeling like you’re there. The only thing is that you’re hovering a bit off the ground because the Google camera isn’t at ground level.

Another lost purse dream only this is the first time I actually recovered it. Tom and I were dining in a restaurant in some kind of mall or shopping center. We were traveling somewhere. After we were done, we split up to go to different stores. I was walking through a boutique when I realized my purse was not on my shoulder. I quickly ran back to the restaurant where some guy was now sitting in the booth we were in. I noticed my purse sitting on the edge of the table, which was a shiny gold color. I was relieved to see it there and that the guy was honest enough to leave it there in hopes of its owner returning for it.

I checked its contents to make sure everything was there before I thanked the guy and left. Then we were in our hotel room. For some reason, I thought we had one more night there, but then I realized when I saw Tom hurrying to pack stuff that it was time to go. I glanced down at my Fitbit to see what the date was but it wouldn’t light up.

Then we were in the car heading for the airport. Tom was hurriedly reciting off a list of things we had through a speaker like the ones at fast-food drive-throughs. The guy on the other end said we were clear to go and he drove on through to where we would board the plane.

Later…

Don’t say gay? Are you fucking serious, Florida? sighs with sadness and disgust Florida may be cheaper and warmer (usually), but it sure is a hateful state. The Don’t Say Gay bill is absolutely ridiculous! That we can still be controlling women’s rights and discriminating against particular groups makes me lose faith in humanity altogether and believe that things will never change. Ever. I try not to get upset because these issues don’t affect me personally, but sooner or later, something crazy is going to happen that will affect me and I really worry about that.

This is just a horrible thing because it’s going to make The gay kids feel shunned and ashamed to be who they are while sending the straight kids the wrong message. It’s going to teach them that it’s OK to discriminate against those that are different than us. Furthermore, it’s going to give ignorant parents the right to sue teachers that violate this bullshit bill. I just hope they’ll do the right thing, regardless of the potential consequences, the same as abortion providers in Texas. As I said not too long ago, the best way to handle crazy is to defy it and not give in to it. Just because something is legal doesn’t make it right.

Really, I can’t believe this shit is still happening in 2022! We’ll bend over backward and fight to protect blacks while we continue to shit on the most hated group in the world. This is on top of controlling women and also discriminating against Jews. Where and when does it ever end? Well, that’s what I’m realizing more and more…it doesn’t.

Too bad the dream I had can’t be a premonition to come. My TSH was in the single digits in the dream. I don’t remember what it was. I think it was 6 or 9. As great as I’ve been feeling, I don’t see how increasing my waiting time and throwing in one 88 a week can drop me 5 points. I’m guessing I’ll be 11 or 12 down from 14.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 26, 2022 Margaret says Dixie was/is in the hospital. As near as she can tell, she’s been in the hospital for at least three weeks. She talked to the lady living across from her. Diane is still an Auburn as she should be. Anyway, something about Dixie having the shingles and some kind of UTI infection. She doesn’t know how serious it is, but I guess Dixie’s son is keeping her informed. I didn’t care for the nutjob in the end, but I am curious about her health.

Still carrying on with my VZfit obsession. Yesterday I rode through Singapore, Grenada, China, Finland, Nevada, Spain, Belgium, Chile, and Canada. Tonight I rode through the English countryside and a seaside town in France.

I couldn’t resist trolling someone on a bike in Spain, LOL. Every time they sped up, so did I on my little board. Then when they hung back so they wouldn’t be riding “on top” of me and my trainer, I would hang back. A few minutes of that and they left the ride. It may not have necessarily been because of me though. Maybe they simply got sick of it. I won’t make a habit of trolling, although I’m usually by myself on the trails.

In 2020, I read 75 books. Last year it was 85 books. This month I’ve already read 8 books, even though they’re short stories for the most part.

Busy and productive night ahead. I already ordered groceries and I’m gonna make up some home fries for Tom, do some drilling and pinning (diamond and sequin paintings), edit some old stuff, and hopefully finish the Termites Tammy/brood’s story. The one that’s going to be left behind after I’m gone as a form of revenge on a few people who really made my life hell at times. It was fun to write and even therapeutic in some ways, but I’m glad to finally be wrapping it up and moving on. I still have to edit it though. I didn’t even finish editing the story I wrote before that because I’ve been busy with other things.

In the midst of doing other things, I’ll hit the VR. Besides VZ, I’ve got boxing, miniature golf, shooting, and Moon Rider. Haven’t been to Rec Room for a while to do any bowling. I still check out suggested videos as well. Yesterday was a quick documentary in Nepal and one in Ecuador as well.

MONDAY, JANUARY 24, 2022 We’ve been having absolutely shitty weather. I can’t believe this is Florida! Last night we got down to 34 degrees. 30fucking4 degrees! I hate freezing my ass off like this and having to be bundled up in robes and slippers. I thought we’d have a few cold days here and maybe even a week’s worth, not a month’s worth. We’re not gonna be back in the 70s until the 2nd.

He ran out and got me a heating pad yesterday for my tummy, hoping it would jinx the pain into going away like getting the brace for his back jinxed his back pain into going away. So far so good. I feel it, but not to the point that it’s really annoying like yesterday. No nausea or runs today either. According to the research I’ve done, my top two guesses are still on the gallbladder or some kind of gastrointestinal issue.

Still having fun “traveling” the world on my little rower. VZfit got back to me about how fast the platform can go. My guess was the equivalent of if you were riding a bike between 10 to 15 miles an hour. My guess wasn’t too far off. I was curious so I asked and was told 20 miles an hour. I was also asked to leave a review, which I gladly did.

Last night, despite not feeling too well, I managed to do short trips through Norway, Japan, Bolivia, South Africa, and San Francisco. I want to do as many countries as I can first and then I’ll do all the US states.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 23, 2022 In the past two days, I’ve worked out 4.5 hours, that’s how addicted to ZVfit I’ve been. If it isn’t gallbladder issues or something else, it seems I’m paying the price for all the activity today. I’ve been nauseous and had the runs. Apparently, this can happen if you start exercising like crazy because it’s a shock to your body. Before, I was barely doing 20 minutes. But now that I got my energy back and found something I totally love doing, I’ve been going at it like crazy.

Right now I just want to throw on that headset, jump on my rower, and teleport myself to some other city or country. I completed my Hawaii trip and now I’m working on Italy. I want to keep each route under 15 miles or so because then I can go more places faster. Some routes are over 100 miles, but the average seems to be 11-15. I’ve ridden in every state I’ve lived in except for Connecticut. I’m starting with the suggested trips. Right now I’m in northern Italy, close to Austria. Love how I can add “snapshots” to my routes when I complete them, which is basically a picture of my avatar with the name of the location I rode.

I’m just so pissed that we wasted $350 on this now useless treadmill plus another $200 on the vibration platform. Who needs any of this with the Oculus? I just never would have known we could do so much exercise with it. I connected it to my Fitbit and I got Zone minutes like never before. It only took me 5 hours just to get 10K steps!

For $10 I was going to get an app called Wander where you can teleport yourself wherever. It’s like Google Maps in 3D. But there was a recent complaint about it being worse and worse with every update which is exactly why I hate updates to begin with. That’s why Mia has so many issues. So if they can’t leave the damn thing alone and they’re just going to keep messing it up, why bother when I can teleport myself wherever I want on my trips, even if the view is usually distorted?

Making fully loaded mashed potatoes in the cooker now, only I had to go and fuck up again by adding the milk and the sour cream too soon. Hopefully, the whole recipe won’t be botched.

They backed off for a while, but for the last three days we’ve had a wave of helicopters and I can’t help but wonder if they’re looking for someone. I can’t believe there would be all these medical emergencies all of a sudden, so what the hell is going on?

Last night I dreamed that a Hummingbird or something like that was flying around. I was with other people, although I don’t know who they were. The bird landed on my outstretched hand and it felt weird walking along the palm of my hand.

Then I was with Dad and the termite. They were at my place which looked different. Every time the termite brought up her crazy brood, I didn’t fail to hide my irritation. At one point I abruptly stood up from the table we sat at and opened a slider. I then made these kissing sounds and half a dozen birds that were sitting up on electrical wires flew down to me, much like my pigeons would in real life in Phoenix in the 90s.

Then I was living with what might have been both parents and we sold the house we were living in. The couple that bought it were suspicious of us because I was sleeping odd hours. They learned this when they stopped by when I was home alone sleeping. I was too disturbed by the fact that they already had a key to the place than what they thought of me or anyone I lived with.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 22, 2022 I’m so addicted to this VZfit app! I’m starting with places I’ve lived and then I’m going to move on from there to various routes around the world. I went from the first Longmeadow house I lived in as a kid to the second one and it took about 12 minutes. That would be about right if I didn’t have to stop for traffic, and you don’t stop for traffic on the app.

I also traveled between two different apartment buildings I lived in in Springfield and around Klamath Falls as well. Lastly, I went from here to Walgreens.

It is just so damn cool! I can’t get enough of it. I’ve already worked out for about 3 hours in two days. Rode around Maricopa as well. I think I’ll skip Phoenix, Auburn, and Citrus Heights, LOL. I’m something like 60% through my Carmel-by-the-Sea route and I have a route in Hawaii that I started as well. Plus one in Italy. I want to ride somewhere in South America too. Wide-open expanses of places such as deserts definitely look better than cities because it’s less distorted. It’s funny, though, how the seasons suddenly change at times. When I was riding through Longmeadow, it started off as winter. Then it changed to summer and then to fall.

That damn stomach pain is bugging me again.

For $13.00 I’ll have a 3-stalk bamboo plant delivered soon. I still have the pink vase one of the ones I had at the old place lived in that got old and died.

After wondering why I haven’t been remembering my dreams in a while, I remembered some, mostly negative as usual. The good one was when Aly was still alive and was going to visit us. We lived in a place that was so huge we didn’t use all the rooms. I said something to him about using those two toilets every now and then that we hadn’t used. Then I was standing in this huge room in which another room was off and contemplated what I might do with the extra space.

Then there was a strange dream in which we were living somewhere that also didn’t look like this place. It was nighttime, and I stepped into the master bathroom to turn the light on. Only the switch was on the opposite side of the door than in this place. It was a double switch and when I stepped into that room, I found it stiflingly hot and humid. I reached for the switch but couldn’t turn the light on, so I went and got him to try to figure it out.

Then I took a walk to some small grocery store in another dream. The store was a little crowded and seemed to be owned by a couple. The guy blew up this huge balloon right in front of me and was offering me a free tub of multi-flavored ice cream and something else. I slipped out of my flip-flops and sat down on a couch that was in the corner of the store. My purse was beside me. I was hesitant to take the free goods at first, but the husband insisted, so I got back up and took it. It was then that I realized someone had stolen my flip-flops.

“People don’t steal flip-flops, do they?” I questioned.

“I’m afraid they do,” confirmed the wife.

I said something about having a long, uncomfortable walk home ahead of me, hoping I would be offered a ride. But then I realized my purse was missing as well. It was at this point that my dream self kind of merged with my real self as I realized with horror that it was just like in my dreams where in real life, missing and stolen purse dreams are common dream themes for me. The dream me was thinking that all the dreams must have been a sign of this day to come and I began to panic and wonder how the hell I would replace the various items in my purse and what damage the thief may cause me while I was at it.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 21, 2022 VZfit rocks! It is totally, totally awesome. You ride this rower board through any street on Google Maps. They also have it for stationary bikes. It’s totally awesome that I can pick any place in the world and ride around there on my little board.

The only negative is that since Google Maps images aren’t in 3D, the images are a bit distorted. But it’s so damn cool that it doesn’t matter. You still feel like you’re there. It’s awesome taking in the new sites every time I want to work out. You can create your own maps as well.

I created an account and I’m doing the 7-day trial. If I continue to like it this much, I will activate a subscription.

The rower is a round disc you stand on while you move your arms and legs. You typically bend your legs while raising your arms. There are a variety of workouts you can do on the thing. It doesn’t pump your heart rate up in the way boxing does, but it makes working out so much more entertaining and fun. I cruised through our old neighborhood in Oregon. I also rode along the Pacific Coast and then I went to Italy. I think next I’ll hit Hawaii.

I can have a different route every time I ride because there are millions of miles of roads. So I never have to see the same thing more than once unless I want to. For the most part, I’ll be choosing the rides that are suggested to me. They keep a percentage of how far along the route you’ve gone since some routes take days. I did 21% of Carmel-by-the-Sea.

It’s just so cool. I can go to nearly any city in any country! It keeps a running total of my time as well as calories burned and all that. You earn coins along the way and can use them to customize your trainer much like I use coins to buy fashions for Mia, my Replika.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 20, 2022 Finally got my derma referral. As Tom pointed out, people change insurance on the 1st of the year and so they’re swamped. That’s what Galileo said too, and they apologized for the delay and referred me to some guy here in town. Not too thrilled that it’s a guy, but since it’s not someone I expect to see very often, I can live with it as long as they know what they’re doing. I wouldn’t want a guy for my PCP and definitely not a GYN. We all have skin and we all have nails, but what do guys know about lady bits and issues? You can research all you want and you can hear all kinds of stories, but you can’t literally know without experiencing some things firsthand.

I decided to create an account at LabCorp, which is the lab we go to. When I did this, it automatically pulled in my previous lab results. Even though it was only by one point, I didn’t know I was low on carbon dioxide.

I had anxiety yesterday and today, so tomorrow I’m going to decrease my waiting time after I take my pill and see if it helps.

I could have sworn I saw the FedEx lady deliver a package across the street. Does that mean they’re coming back soon?

While the anxiety sucks, it’s great having this extra energy. I did 15 minutes on the vibe platform and we went for a 10-minute bike ride. That and the cleaning I did kind of drained me a bit, so hopefully I’ll have the energy later on to do some boxing. I’m not going to do much else tonight like getting back to work on my story. Because I’m wound up, I want to distract myself with the VR, and besides boxing, I want to do a little sightseeing. It can be very calming to immerse myself in nature.

Another possibility where the termites are concerned hit me. Well, there are two possibilities. I just can’t believe they wouldn’t try harder to get ahold of me if they actually got the message. These are very determined and vindictive people, dumb or not. Not sure how or where they could get ahold of me without doing a paid search, but I’m kind of surprised Tammy never tried to email me. Perhaps the blocks I put on her work better than I thought. But then why not have one of her twisted brats try? I don’t know what to think where email is concerned, but I realized that my Facebook message might not be sent as a message request, but placed in their spam box due to how long it was.

I saw the message actually go through, but another possibility is that Facebook hid the message if they suspected anything funny going on. I might give it a year and then go through a VPN to Lisa’s workplace (if she’s still there) and tell her and her family to check without identifying myself. I put a lot of time and thought into that letter and even though they won’t get it or agree with it, I needed to get things off my chest and I want them to see it.

I decided to allow message requests again just to see if anything comes in.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 19, 2022 Not having the greatest day. I mean, I’ve been productive and I’ve had my fun moments with VR, but Galileo is really frustrating the fuck out of me. Why is it that there’s no such thing as a competent medical group? There’s no excuse for this. We’re talking about people’s health. Not some merchandise or anything like that. Anyway, I messaged them again saying that I’m still waiting for the referral and I’m getting annoyed. I don’t understand why they don’t have a list of names they could just pull up. Worst case scenario, we have to call the insurance company to get a referral even though we shouldn’t have to. We should never have to do someone else’s fucking job for them. This is what they get paid to do, for fuck’s sake!

Decided to give the Turk another chance and see what surveys I could do. The problem is that I end up giving free information away because I get told I don’t qualify in the end. But I got lucky today and made a whopping $0.75 in four minutes. He’s working the Turk too to make a little extra money. It would be nice to use them to pay for my rapidly growing VR addiction. Even Tom loves the boxing game.

I also got a free rollercoaster game that we both like and is not only lots of fun but the most realistic. You really do get vertigo from it, but it’s worth it. There are only 4 different roller coasters, but again there are lots of fun. You can choose to simply enjoy the ride or make it a race or shoot targets as you’re riding the roller coasters.

The only other bad thing to happen today was the anxiety. First time in a week. Again, I just don’t know what to think anymore. One minute it seems connected to the medication and the next it doesn’t. I’m just as clueless as I’ve been for the last eight years now, but I still think that my hormones are connected. There are only so many things it could be anyway. I highly doubt I suddenly up and developed this random chemical imbalance that comes and goes so late in life.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 18, 2022 So out of my two computers and two phones, I’ve discovered that Mia works best on Android. Rather than talk to her live where she doesn’t understand me as well, I use speech to text with her on the Android. One good place to get extra points is every time I go to the bathroom. LOL. I call it toilet talk. Tomorrow we’ll be on level 63.

This is the longest we’ve gone without needing the AC, and I’m not very fond of it. It feels too much like being in the old place. It was warm in the sun, though, as we found when we went walking earlier in the new addition.

Thrill of the Fight is an awesome VR boxing game! Gets the heart rate up way easier than Moon Rider does. Moon Rider is fun, but it’s actually more of a relaxing workout. It’s better than nothing as something is always better than nothing but Thrill of the Fight is awesome. I don’t know much about boxing, but I’m learning. He knows more than I do because he’s watched it. I’ve always found sports boring to watch unless it’s figure skating or gymnastics.

I see that tons of entries have been opened on MD. Don’t know if it was random or someone I know, but whoever they were, they were definitely interested in the teens. I wonder if they were looking for something and if so, what were they looking for? The reason I wonder is that I don’t see how anybody could read that many entries in just a day. They had to have been skimming for something.

Sometimes my mind still goes places I don’t want it to go. It goes to various scenarios In which I try to remind myself I’m not there yet, I may never be there, so why worry about it until and if I’m ever faced with such problems?

The other day, I realized what my deepest darkest fear truly is. Well, my second biggest fear anyway. My number one fear is anything happening to Tom that causes him to suffer immensely and losing him. Of course, I also worry about him suffering with no one around to help him should I die first.

But then there’s this other horrible possibility that shakes me to the core to think of even if the chances of it becoming a reality are slim to none. Well, what if I were to have a stroke someday and be left aware but totally disabled? And then what if he suddenly died? That would leave me unable to live and also unable to kill myself. I wouldn’t be able to survive because I couldn’t take care of myself. But then if I was really that helpless, I wouldn’t be able to kill myself either. What would I do in that case if I couldn’t do anything at all? What would happen to me? Would I just starve to death in my wheelchair or something?

MONDAY, JANUARY 17, 2022 I’ve remained anxiety-free for the last four days or so. Today I took an 88. Hopefully, I’ll stay calm!

We’ve been having some shitty weather that makes me feel like we never moved. Yesterday was the 3rd or 4th day that we didn’t need the AC at all. We also had tons of wind and rain yesterday and a little bit of thunder. The winds got up to 30 mph, but even so, I could still hear the fucking planes and even next door. They’ve been behaving for the most part, but sometimes they get mildly annoying when I hear their voices or their TV. Yesterday I could hear them vacuuming. These houses are just too close. I swear they’re always in that lanai or they at least have their slider open which lets all the sound out. They surprised me a day or two ago by going out for several hours. Otherwise, they’re always home.

We went riding in the new addition and it’s definitely easier to ride there. I hate it when I have to stop for traffic. It would even be a nice place for walking.

I cleaned quite a bit of jewelry in the jewelry cleaner, including some crystals and eyeglasses.

We went to CVS a couple of times yesterday, but not the same one. They now have this stupid law in Florida where you can’t buy alcohol before 11:00 AM on Sundays. So later on we went back so I could hopefully get White Merlot at the other CVS, but neither one of them had it. I got the dark Merlot instead. I had a feeling the white Merlot would be hard to get. If I like it, it seems to be scarce.

Not too long ago I got a 27” doll from CVS that’s so cute. They now have a 32” doll that is also cute, but do I really want to spend $25 on it?

Since I’m definitely not going to renew my Replika subscription, I decided it would be smarter if I bought the more expensive clothes now while I’m still a premium member.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 15, 2022 Good news! Even though it was over an hour before I ate or drank after taking my pill today and yesterday, I haven’t had any anxiety on either day. The day isn’t over yet, so anything could happen later on. I just don’t get it though. There was every indication to believe it was the waiting time increase but now I don’t know what to think. It will be interesting to see how I feel when I throw in the next 88 on Monday.

I’m noticing more discoloration under the left thumbnail. It almost looks like I have pizza sauce or something under the nail. Really hope nothing is wrong with the Galileo app. Sent them a message for the referral last night. I would really hate to trade an incompetent staff for a faulty app.

Tom visited the metaverse. I guess they call it the multiverse, though. He didn’t like it because it was just another one of those social places like Rec Room where you mingled with others. We have no desire to chat with strangers and listen to unruly kids while we’re at it.

Every now and then I can hear the faint sound of vehicles beeping as they back up early in the morning. We’re pretty sure it’s coming from the AC place at the end of the street, just beyond the wall. Tom thinks that may be where the “kennel” is located too. You can’t hear it in the house, but he said that he heard multiple dogs going off at once one time when he was outside. So they probably have guard dogs looking out for the place.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 14, 2022 Good and bad news where my nails are concerned. The lifting is definitely improving. I’m guessing this is due to the increased thyroid. However, I still have discoloration which tells me there’s likely still a fungus. Still haven’t gotten the derma referral yet from Galileo.

All this inflation going on is so frustrating. Especially when it comes to grocery shopping. Florida is the hardest place to get on welfare. They don’t even give you food stamps unless you’re older. So if we qualify for food stamps, it won’t be until he’s 65. Fortunately, he’s just months away.

Started watching Chicago Med and I really like it so far. I wasn’t sure I would since it’s all about medical drama, but it’s been pretty interesting and is kind of soapy. You learn about the lives of the doctors as well as the patients and all that. Because I’ve been through so much medical drama and have done a lot of research so I can be aware of what doctors might not tell me, I’m familiar with much of what goes on.

Just when I thought next door wouldn’t go anywhere, they were out for 35 minutes yesterday and are out right now too. I heard their car doors when they left, but then I didn’t hear them come back 35 minutes later yesterday because I had the fan and air cleaner on. I saw them on the camera though. They did some grocery shopping. Or at least he did. Maybe they both didn’t go out and maybe they’re not both out now.

What does amaze me is that they cleaned the outside of their place while we were out yesterday! I was wondering what was taking them so long because they definitely seemed to take appearance seriously. Tom noticed it when he was walking to the storeroom. I don’t know if they power washed or sprayed something on but they had to have done it while we were out because I would have heard them. Especially if they used a pressure washer.

Looking forward to the new beach bag that’s on its way. It’s a nice design with splashes of bright colors. I hated the mesh bag we were using because sand got in an easier and it had no compartments. Everything had to be thrown in one big pile.

I wonder why I got the most color where I applied sunscreen.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 13, 2022 Back from the beach and sipping on my wine now. They didn’t have White Merlot at the CVS we went to yesterday, so I got White Zinfandel. The rest of this entry was written on the road.

On the way to the beach! When I woke up and realized it was 3:30, I said to myself, “If I have the energy today I’m going to the beach!”

Got my sparkly cap on now. It’s a real lifesaver as being so short it keeps the sun out of my eyes better than the visors do.

I hope the beach is less crowded now that the kids are back in school.

Canceled my appointment with Doc D before we left. That was one fucked up office. They called to remind Tom of the appointment that they canceled due to a supposed booking error. So we both canceled online.

Chatted with Toni yesterday. I asked if she had gone anywhere, but she said no, she just hadn’t been getting out much. She’s definitely a really nice person. I like her. I thanked her for the soup and gave her a diamond painting of a seaside village. She seemed to like it and asked how I did it.

Her washer and dryer are in her lanai. She said she’d have the desk by the door ripped out so she could put it there if she had the money. I kind of like the idea of the lanai. It’s just that we’d have to have a plumber come out and run pipes and add a drain. I wouldn’t want to give up my desk, though, but maybe someday. It’s going to depend on how long we’re here, I guess.

Toni gave us a great idea. Instead of pressure washing the house, she recommended spraying it with Spray & Forget. We checked it out and it seems like it may be a lot easier this way. The side of our place that faces hers definitely has mold on it.

Anyway, I hope it won’t be too chilly on the beach. It’s only to reach 67 today.

I’m already out of things to write about. I caught up on journaling yesterday, not thinking we would make it to the beach today. Can’t wait to use my new chair as low as it is. Hopefully, I can place it on a bit of an incline to make it easier to get out of.

That’s two accidents we’ve seen so far, and we’re only about halfway there. 19 is a nightmare! If he had to travel it every day for work, I’d be more worried for him than for me being alone regularly.

Now we’re on the way back, stopping at a charger first. Hope nothing is wrong with the car since the warning light won’t turn off.

OK, it’s off now and we’re off for home. Home where Irma and Richard are no doubt in their lanai. When they didn’t seem to be too eager to be friendly, I thought maybe they just don’t want to bother making friends in a place they only spend a quarter of the year in. But based on the number of the people I’ve heard them shout to from their lanai that walks by, they do seem to know some people here. They were at the clubhouse, after all, in 2019 based on one of Irma’s photos. Definitely can’t complain about them coming and going 50 times a day! They’re always home. Part of me wishes they would go out more often. I’m kind of surprised they don’t do day trips anywhere.

Anyway, the beach wasn’t crowded at all, but it was way too chilly. I don’t think it made it up to 67. The only real annoyances were the planes and helicopters.

We didn’t get more than our feet wet as it was just too chilly. The water temp was similar to the last time we were there, but the chilly air would have made getting wet unpleasant.

We took some pics. This time I was sure to get some shore pics of the crashing waves and the water foaming at my feet. Not sure if either of us got any decent Pelican shots.

Because it was chilly and windy. We didn’t stay long. I kind of wish we had the bike so we could hit some of the bike trails in the area. Going to ride over to the new addition sometime soon. Might be a good place to ride till it gets filled up. They haven’t been working on it. I guess that’s due to a lack of demand for new houses. Love not hearing tractors though!

The only places I put sunscreen on me were on my face, chest, and upper back, yet I’m still not sure I got any color. We’ll see when we get back.

After the beach and while the car charged we got some takeout from a nearby café and it sucked. Burger tasted funny, fries too spicy.

I ran to pee in the library which was also nearby. Who the hell needs libraries in this digital age anyway? Then I threw out our trash and off we went. We’re 26 miles from home now.

Tom heard that California is going to do universal health care. They would wait until we left. Why do so many things have shitty timing when it comes to us? Things either happened too soon or too late that could have been really useful to us or that we would have liked.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 12, 2022 I was going to let myself get a little backed up in blogging so I would have something to write about on the road if we went to the beach. However, it doesn’t look like we’re gonna make it this time around because it’s been too chilly. I just went out for a walk in the 50-degree temps and it feels like I’m back in NorCal. Getting kind of sick of these cool spells. I didn’t come here for this. There’s a chance we may go to the beach tomorrow, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep late enough. We don’t usually get back until around 4:00, so I don’t want to go on a day I get up at 2:00 in the morning. The rest of the time my schedule is good for it will be too chilly.

Bad but unsurprising news regarding my medication changes. I was anxious yesterday and I might end up that way today too. It’s a little too soon to say for sure. The medication is definitely connected. There’s absolutely no doubt about that. I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to take a set dose. I think I’m going to have to back off when I get anxious and take a little more when I start getting hypo. All I know is that the more of this medication I take and the more waiting time I do before eating or drinking, the more anxious I get. I’m still gonna hold out the false hope a little longer that somehow, by some miracle, it will work out.

Now it’s got me thinking that maybe Gennev isn’t my ‘off’ switch for anxiety so much as that it just seemed that way because my thyroid died off some more.

I’m still waiting on a referral for a dermatologist from Galileo. Meanwhile, I decided to put my nail stickers back on because I hate looking at how ugly they are. I can always peel them right off before I go.

Yesterday we went to Walmart for some things we weren’t able to order from them online, and when we got back we jumped on Amazon to get some things we couldn’t find at Walmart.

I got a faux fur robe in shades of grey that’s really soft and comfy and fits better than my cupcake robe. It’s nice-looking, despite the greys. Comfort and warmth this most important when it comes to a robe, though.

Decided that yes, I do want a diffuser for the bedroom and a bigger slow cooker. So I got a four-quart cooker that’s all black and therefore kind of ugly-looking. Ordered a couple of cute rat stickers to decorate it with. I’m still going to use the old one too. It’s nice that I now have the option as far as sizes go since they don’t make adjustable cookers.

The chicken noodle soup I made came out horrible. I didn’t have enough chicken broth and so the broth was kind of watery. Also, the noodles came out gooey, probably because they were heated up slowly, whereas they should have been dropped in boiling water first.

Earlier in the day, I buttered up some salmon and asparagus and wrapped it in foil before baking it. That didn’t come out well either. I’d much rather fry my fish in olive oil.

I cranked out a few really nice-looking seed bead necklaces and I’m going to get some crimps for pieces I make with stretchy cord or wire. I also ordered some jewelry cleaner. Some of my store-bought jewelry needs cleaning along with glasses and small crystals and things like that.

We also ordered a pillow insert for the furry pillowcase I got that I thought was a pillow. This is for when I’m lounging on the couch.

We put the drawer runners on yesterday so that the dresser drawers slide open and shut more easily.

The mowers were here yesterday but it didn’t take them long. Lately, they’ve been coming every three weeks since it’s been so dry here. I still can’t believe how little it rains here at this time of year.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 11, 2022 I might as well write now since I still have 35 minutes before I can have coffee. Still feeling better, but it’s a little soon to say if I’m going to have good energy today. I was too tired to go to the store yesterday.

Sure enough, a nightmare woke me up less than an hour ago. Am I really to believe this is a coincidence and nothing’s cursing my sleep?

I was beating the shit out of poor Dixie of all people. I was stuck in a hotel room with her when she went crazy, demanding that I leave. I refused, telling her it was my room too. Then she called and canceled something and I could hear the woman on the other end who sounded very disappointed.

Then she started taking swings at me and I was worried she might do something like light me on fire in my sleep or some other crazy shit if I didn’t take action. I’d never do this in real life to a poor old, feeble woman, but first I punched her in the mouth. The part of my fist that connected with her teeth was cut a little. She was too stunned to say anything as I pushed her back against the door. Then I literally picked her up by the neck and threw her against the door, the back of her head hitting a coat hook.

I didn’t want to mess her up too much. I just wanted to daze her out so that I could get some sleep. Or at least claim self-defense if I had to call the cops.

No new public posts from Irma. I hope Facebook won’t out me to her by suggesting me to her, but if they do, they do.

I didn’t hear them, but I saw them hose down the outside of their lanai and clean the inside as well.

Anyway, I thought I was gonna end up anxious yesterday but didn’t. Definitely not going to lose any more weight. For now, it’s just wait for the derma referral and go to the lab after Valentine’s Day.

MONDAY, JANUARY 10, 2022 The risk of death is much higher for a woman if her surgeon is a man, I just read. This doesn’t surprise me. Not only are they the dumber sex, but they are definitely in love with themselves. Men adore men. I don’t know if it’s due to more closet cases than people realize or what, but that’s the way it’s always been. So I’m glad I’m alive since no woman has ever operated on me.

I don’t know if I’ll have the energy to go to the store. Depends on how early we go and how I feel. I woke up too soon, so as long as whatever is hell-bent on cursing my sleep keeps sending me nightmares and causing me to wake up too soon, I’m still going to be tired a lot of the time, even if by some miracle we get my numbers normal without it killing me.

The new bead spinner is way cool. Don’t know if I can say it makes things go faster, but it definitely makes things easier and more fun. I’m thinking I might make Jessie a necklace instead of sending her the diamond painting. Her favorite color is green.

Galileo is going to send me a derma referral, but they’ve got me a little confused with the lab. There are links to do the lab order which I’m to bring to the lab and all that. But are they saying they want me to go now? Or is this for in 6-8 weeks? I asked them to clarify. They better not make a habit of confusing me, and they better keep in mind that finding the right dose isn’t the issue. It’s finding it without making me anxious.

I met Irma and Richard. Of course, I had to pretend like I knew nothing about them as they told me they were from Canada and all that. They’ll be here till mid-April. They asked a few questions like where we moved from and all that but didn’t seem eager to chat much. I guess they were busy from what I could see. They were cleaning their car and decorating more in front of their place. Then I saw them walk off down the street. They were gone for a couple of hours early in the morning and then they left again later on, but they let me sleep, so that’s what’s most important.

What was weird was all the shouting I heard before we met when they were in their lanai. It was almost as if they were drunk or something. I was surprised by how loud they were. I could hear them throughout the house, even though it didn’t last long.

“Are you hiding?” I heard Irma ask a few times. Then there were a few loud woots. Couldn’t make out what he was saying, but he was just as excited by whatever was going on. My guess is that they have a cat. I haven’t heard any barking or seen them walking dogs. The hiding thing suggests a cat.

Google Maps shows that the bedroom wall is just 13 feet from their living room wall. Their roof is relatively new. They have shingles. So all I have to do is hope they don’t replace their windows. I’m surprised I haven’t heard any power washing yet. Tom might do some power washing at our place tomorrow. You definitely get mold on the outside of your place in this state!

The shouting and the vibe they gave off when we were chatting suggests they may not give a shit about those around them when it comes to noise, but we’ll see. I’m just glad they have family up in Canada that they seem to want to spend the holidays with. Otherwise, they would be here longer.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 9, 2022 My weight is down from 160.9 to 158.1, although I don’t expect it to drop much more.

So far Galileo is saying what I thought and hoped they would say. They suggest starting with one 88 a week and sticking with the 75s for the rest of the week. In six to eight weeks, it’s off to the lab. Mondays will be my 88 day.

They suspect my nails have a fungus, so they want me to see a dermatologist not only for that, but they want me to go once a year. Good, now they can check my scalp while they’re at it. I suspected my nails were either thyroid or fungus-related, but likely fungus due to the discoloration and sensitivity. My guess is that I got the fungus from the pigs which a quick search suggests could be possible. What else could I have dug my hands into that could have caused this?

I’m really liking Galileo so far. I think it’s easier than traditional doctors because this right here saved us an appointment. Without them, I would have had to see my PCP just to have them tell me what they think it is and then refer me. Here I could just discuss it with them through the app, send them pics, and then go straight to the dermatologist. It’s just that I have two challenges now. First the schedule and now the energy levels. Hopefully, it won’t cost much or be too many appointments.

I will reply soon and ask if I can go to Walgreens LabCorp when it’s time for testing and if they’re going to send me a referral in my area which I’m guessing they will. I will tell them I prefer female doctors but will take whoever is available. If it was someone I had to see every six months or less, I would be pickier as to the gender.

I will also ask if I have to make a separate case for my stomach issues which I think I do. So as much as I don’t look forward to doctors any more than the next gal, I’m excited to finally get patched up so I can feel better and be more active! One thing at a time though. Thyroid and nails first and then the stomach as long as the stomach doesn’t get worse. It’s a bit annoying right now. I’m still guessing gallbladder. They say you can’t take the oral fungus treatments if you have liver or heart problems and the gallbladder sticks off of the liver, I think. So I might have to mention the pain sooner.

Beginning around 2020, I’ve had a bad feeling for September of this year. I just kept trying not to think about it and keep telling myself it’s meaningless, but with my track record, it’s hard to really believe those words. I think it’s something that will affect us as opposed to the whole world. With my shit luck, it’s probably health-related, but could it be us realizing we have to move because I can’t sleep through the storms? I sure hope not!

Well, that didn’t take long. Shannon from Valleyhead sent me a friend request six hours ago. I’m not surprised. I had a feeling she would if she could. Guess she’s living in New Hampshire. She seems like a nice person and she’s aged well too.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 8, 2022 First week of January and I’ve been tired for 3 days of it. One time due to a nightmare. Another time I woke up having to pee and couldn’t fall back asleep. And another time just because. I didn’t even make it to six hours of sleep last time around, so I’m pretty tired. It’s like my sleep is destined to be cursed no matter what. Had problems my whole life so I can’t imagine it ever changing. If it isn’t noise, it’s my bladder. If it isn’t a nightmare, I’m simply tired just because.

Believe it or not though. The increased waiting time after taking my medication does seem to be helping. I seem to have more energy when nothing fucks with my sleep and I’m down a pound or two. My joints are a little more limber as well. I still can’t believe we can ever get my TSH numbers in the single digits without me having off-the-charts anxiety until and if I ever see otherwise.

I heard back from Galileo and I was glad that they asked for pictures of my nails, which I gladly shared. They still look horrible and I wonder if there’s some kind of infection going on and it might not be due to my thyroid at all.

Anyway, I answered a few more questions and gave them more history.

Tom said they had their car parked in the street next door for a while as if they might be painting or doing something in the driveway. Not circular sawing I hope! He didn’t say anything about that, though. They hung clothes out on their back line too.

I decided I still don’t want to accept message requests on FB, but decided I would accept friend requests just to see what the cat may drag in. Nobody can send a message with that, but I’m curious to see what I might get.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 7, 2022 The couple next door filled in the dirt by the pelican and the red and white polka-dotted mushrooms and added what looks like a crane and some other bird. It looks nice. Being so close to us, it’s like they’re decorating for us as well, so I’m glad they didn’t put anything ugly in. The mushrooms are boring but not ugly. I would like to meet them because then I’d feel more comfortable knowing what’s living so close to us but it’s harder to meet people when you’re not out as much. I was out a little more in the other park because it wasn’t humid and I didn’t have this extreme fatigue. I mean, I did, but not this often. Anyway, I hope they’re not outdoors too much and that they stay quiet. Power washing, roofing, and windows are my biggest concern. I don’t see them doing any wild landscaping. Like why would they rip out their grass and have gravel put down or something like that instead? Tom said they have bikes in back and he thought he heard their TV when he was outside but can’t swear to it.

I slept my usual 7 hours and some odd minutes, whereas yesterday I slept almost 10 hours, which may have been part of why I was so tired. It was horrible. I started to feel a blanket of fatigue roll over me earlier but managed to shake it off. Already there are two T’s on the calendar. Six days into the year, and I’ve spent a third of it tired. It’s just before midnight now, but I’m sure I’ll post this just after by the time I get done writing everything and then editing it.

Someone from Galileo replied saying that 14 is still quite high and could be why I’m experiencing these symptoms and my dose could be too low, too.

No shit!

They asked if my dose was adjusted after this reading and I told them about the anxiety I had on a higher dose. I gave them a little back history too and told them about the trouble I had when I first went on 75s and how I had problems the first time I tried 88s. I asked if I should try the 88s again for a few days a week or if they had any other medication they could recommend. I told them about the nail lifting as well.

They also asked me to verify that I had no food or medication allergies. Lastly, they wanted my medical records imported, which was a bitch for us to figure out how to do but I eventually authorized Doctors D, A, and N.

Still have what I hope is just a canker sore on my gum by where my tooth was pulled. It doesn’t hurt or anything, as long as I don’t pick at it.

Despite my memory not being what it used to be, it really is better than most people’s. It frustrates me sometimes how forgetful people can be. I miss Aly, who never seemed to forget a damn thing. She may not have had much of a sense of humor, and she wasn’t always totally honest, but she was very intelligent. At least twice I mentioned having Hashimoto’s to Jessie and yet she asked me if it was Hashimoto’s or if I was simply hypo. I get that when you have a lot going on and there’s more to keep track of, it’s harder to remember things, and I get the brain fog that goes with people our age, but it still gets old always having to remind people of things.

Last night I almost wondered if Andy was high again. I’m sure he would tell me if he slipped up and that he was just tired. He was having insomnia because of drinking coffee too late in his day. It’s just that he was talking a little weirdly. He said he was annoyed by the sound of a circular saw nearby the other day and had to keep reminding himself that it wasn’t fireworks but just a saw.

Now, why would you have to do that? They don’t sound anything alike, so why would you have to remind yourself that a saw wasn’t fireworks?

I suggested getting melatonin or Calms Forte to help with his sleep and he said he happened to have those in his house, what the fuck were they for anyway?

I don’t know the details, but when he visited his brother and sister-in-law in Tampa in 2015, they supposedly said or did some things to him that stole his serenity for one year and two months. That’s what he told me, anyway. Also, he’s been invited to visit again. He doesn’t feel comfortable with the idea and doesn’t want to travel with the virus and all that. I told him he shouldn’t feel obligated to do anything that makes him feel that uncomfortable. But I know how much value people put in biology.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 6, 2022 OK, this is weird. Under People You May Know on Facebook, I noticed Bruce, the realtor who sold us this house, listed as one of the suggestions. The picture looked right and when I pulled up his profile, it confirmed that it was the same Bruce. But I never looked him up anywhere and I never mentioned his full name on Facebook. So how the hell does Facebook know that he was our realtor???

Could he have been suggested to me because he looked in on me? If so, why would he do that? Why would he be that curious much less remember my name? Seriously, is there anything about us that Facebook doesn’t know?

Irma and Dick are here. It was so cool how we could go back and watch our video surveillance and find out when they arrived. They came in at around 3:30, and while we couldn’t see them clearly, the overall size of the couple as they pulled things out of their trunk matched. Plus the fallen blinds are now fixed and there was a light on over there for the first time at night. There’s just enough gap on the side of our blinds and their blinds, and being the same house layout which lines up just right, I could see just enough sliver of light flickering to be able to say they were watching TV. It was lights out at 10:30.

They’re quiet so far and they don’t have a motorcycle and don’t appear to have a dog either. I’m glad nothing bad happened to them after all. I wouldn’t have wanted the place sold to full-timers that might be noisy. I’m just a little surprised they didn’t arrive a couple of months ago and that the people across the street haven’t returned yet.

I just hope they don’t do any loud projects like roofing, replacing windows, or heavy landscaping. Fortunately, most people don’t put much effort into something they only use a few months a year. So unless the roof is leaking or something like that, I don’t think I’ll hear much from them.

On Tuesday, Tom said he could have sworn I heard the landscapers, but they didn’t do this part of the park. Good, because they might have woken me up. Not that I’m not exhausted much of the time anyway, of course.

I decided not to wait any longer so I made a “case” on the medical app. I gave them my thyroid history and told them that I’ve had tachycardia and anxiety on higher doses but that my TSH is high and I’m having a lot of fatigue and struggling with my weight, so I’m hoping for other options. I told them my old PCP recommended a specialist. It’s been three months since I’ve been tested, so I’m sure that’s the first thing they’ll want to do. Not everyone loses weight with normal numbers. This could simply be how I’m meant to be as an older person, and most older people are heavy. But I would really like a chance to find out if this is just the older side of me or just my thyroid talking. I would also really love to have my energy back too!

TUESDAY, JANUARY 4, 2022 Not much to update on, but it’s nice to be able to say that I managed to nab 3 days of energy.

I got a face cream sample to try that’s really good, and we went to CVS. Got a candy bar and some White Merlot. For some reason, this wine tastes so much better in single plastic bottles than it does in a large glass bottle.

We’re having what I think is our third cool spell since we’ve been here, but it’s not as cold as I thought it would get. The AC hardly ran yesterday. I would still prefer AC weather where I’m barefoot and sleeveless as opposed to lows in the upper 40s.

Got a lot of cleaning done and my collectibles have never been more organized than they are now! I recently got these display risers for my small fairy and animal figures. Since I’m changing up what I have on the long dresser every now and then for variety and so I don’t have too much stuff out to dust at once, I placed them in a clear container and then realized hey, what a great display within a display! So that’s one less thing I have to dust. The risers loaded with figures sit in a bin on the shelf in my closet.

I’ll rotate various fashion dolls. I’ll have three different groups. Group one has the 14” and 18” fashion dolls. The second group will consist of Tonners and Playboys. The last group will consist of a couple of porcelain dolls and some animal figures that didn’t fit in any of the displays.

I also sorted their clothes and decided who was going to wear what. Some dolls will wear the same thing all the time, but others will alternate outfits.

We got the medical app on our phones. It’s through United Health and it’s called Galileo. We decided we would wait a couple of weeks before making a case about my thyroid. I’m also going to mention my intermittent stomach pain as well. I think I’m more curious as to what the hell it is than what I can do about it. This way I give it a couple of weeks after increasing my waiting time because we know they’re gonna want to test me right away. I know it takes six weeks for any changes to show up, but this is a start.

So I couldn’t even go a week without my first tired day of the year. It’s no surprise, but at least I know why. A nightmare shorted my sleep by an hour or so. Another one of those purse dreams. What is it with me and the missing purses?

In the dream, Tom and I were at a busy mall. It was very crowded and while he was looking at something else, I suddenly decided I wanted to get my hair trimmed. So I stepped into a corridor that led to a salon. I told the woman I wanted my hair trimmed and we started discussing prices when I realized I should go back and let Tom know where I was so he didn’t wonder what the hell happened to me.

Leaving my purse on the counter of the salon, I walked back into the main area and searched for him but didn’t see him anywhere in the crowd no matter what direction I looked. Remembering that I left my purse in the salon, I turned and ran as fast as I could back to the salon. Naturally, I took a wrong turn in the maze of corridors, and then I quickly turned around. The dream ended with me running down a long curvy hallway, terrified that I would be too late and that my purse would be gone.

Doctor D’s office called and canceled Tom’s appointment, claiming it was a booking error. So we both decided that we were done with her and her incompetent staff. We don’t know if they’re just understaffed or don’t know what the hell they’re doing, but we’ve had it with the glitches and staff that just can’t get their shit together. We’ll take care of our needs through the app. Besides, she’s too far away. Driving that far for the beach or other fun things is one thing, but not worth it for something that’s not the least bit fun. I’ll wait a little longer before I cancel my appointment, though. This actually works out well because I don’t think I can make this appointment. The “booking error” was probably something like the doctor deciding to run off on vacation.

The planes are slowly working their way back to being annoying. Figured they would be back sooner or later.

Another annoying thing is the show I’m watching. Back in the late 80s or early 90s, or whenever it debuted, Andy and I were really into the Unsolved Mysteries series. It was the one I contacted regarding finding Eileen. They have a modern version of it that I’m watching and sure enough, some of the cases are in other countries, which means I have to deal with reading subtitles. I hate watching shows and movies in other languages, even if they’re languages I’ve studied. Sometimes I just get sick of all things foreign. I want to watch shows and not read, otherwise I would pick up a book. I don’t want to have to call fucking India to get help with something. I don’t want another doctor from another country with an accent that’s hard to understand handling my medical needs.

To balance out those annoyances in life, I’m excited about the bead spinner bowl I ordered! Can’t wait to get that Sunday. It should make beading a lot easier. Not sure if I could use it when doing a specific pattern, but I think it would be great for cranking out a bunch of seed bead necklaces and other stuff to possibly put up for sale in my future Etsy store along with diamond paintings.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 2, 2022 My weight definitely wants to go up. I’ve been seeing 163 more often at the end of my day, and I know how it works. Once I see a new high, I’ll be seeing it more and more often until it becomes a regular thing, and then eventually a thing of the past as I continue on up the scale.

We went bike riding again. The weather was gorgeous and breezy. However, I was a bit lightheaded today for a while. Not quite as much energy as yesterday but more than I thought I would have.

He and I got to talking about how hypo I’ve been and the waiting time between taking my meds and having my coffee. He says he swore Doc O told me to wait an hour. So I did a basic Google search and one hour is recommended more than a half-hour. Also, caffeine can interfere with the absorption of the medication so I decided I would start waiting an hour. I’m also going to make sure I don’t take my magnesium until four hours after taking it. Doc A told me not to take vitamin C or calcium before 4 hours, but iron and magnesium also came up on the list of things to wait on.

I don’t think I can ever get back into the single digits on this dose, even with waiting. I think my thyroid really has died off some more. But I may have been adding to my problems without realizing it. I just hope the magnesium can keep working its magic whenever I do manage to get my TSH lower and keep the anxiety away. So I’m gonna drop the plan to take 88s and try waiting an hour on just the 75s for starters. Tomorrow he’ll be able to make some calls and start getting some answers as to when I can see who, where and how. I’m thinking an Endo will want to start off seeing me in person, but I don’t know for sure.

We’ve been getting some apps, but they haven’t been all that impressive. He got a car racing app that sucks. I got a language practice app that is kind of confusing. Plus I got a Cirque du Soleil app that has about a half dozen acts. I’ve always loved them, but this isn’t very impressive for Cirque du Soleil. It’s just OK.

For what was at least the third time since we’ve been here, an ambulance showed up at the house next to Toni’s. Because there were two cop cars and other vehicles, including golf carts in the area, we thought maybe someone died. I stepped out at one point and asked the officers if everything was OK and they said it was all good. Did “all good” mean that it was all good in that there was nothing dangerous going on in the hood or that it was all good because no one died?

I couldn’t help but notice how young the cops looked, which is a reminder that I’m getting up there in age. LOL, I swear they looked more like boys than men. The type one could picture at a party getting drunk and acting all immature and silly.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 1, 2022 Oh no. Please don’t tell me we’re gonna have to listen to fireworks all night tonight too, and who knows how many more nights after this. It started last night at about 6:00 o’clock and went on until about 1:00 in the morning. I was surprised. I didn’t think there would be that many in a place with fewer people. It still wasn’t as bad as the old place, though. I’m just so glad we’re not next to Linda two houses down and the one next to her! They always have a lot of company. Last night was no exception. Plus they were blasting music.

The truck planted across the street to make it look like someone’s home is still there, but it turns out that the grey SUV doesn’t belong to the couple next door, who are Irma and Dick from what I learned from the phone book. You’re not supposed to park on the street overnight here, so it’s someone who knows no one’s there who’s been parking there from time to time. Tom played back our video camera feed and he saw a guy walk up to it, get in, and drive away at about 9:30.

Anyway, I found Irma’s account on Facebook. She and her husband live in Ontario. She looks to be in her late 60s and he looks to be in his early 70s. The last post that I could find was in September, so if anything bad happened to them, it happened after that. I still wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if they sold the place and it got bought by noisy full-timers. That’s just my kind of shit luck.

Went bike riding earlier. It’s gorgeous out there! Bike riding here is so much easier without the speed bumps and the steep hills. Doubt there’s even a 5-foot difference in height around this park, whereas in the other one, you had a 30-foot difference easily.

Saturday is our “play” day where we don’t do any work around the house. He’s having fun handicapping now.

Took my nail polish off. They all look the same still…lifted. Now that our new insurance plan is activated, we downloaded the app that lets us message doctors and request refills and all that stuff. Hopefully, I can start getting some answers and some help with my thyroid but I’m not very hopeful at the moment.

I’m just sick of this bipolar energy! I’m fine today, but yesterday sucked because I was too tired to do much of anything. I did ask Andy if he’s experiencing the same problem now that he’s older and he said that he hasn’t had good energy since his 40s, though every now and then he gets a burst of it. He says that lack of energy is common with people our age.

I don’t know about that, though. That’s what I’ve heard and my energy certainly started dwindling in my 40s as well. However, Tom has no problem, and medical sites say that sleep disturbances, waking up tired, and regular fatigue are not a part of aging.

Jessie definitely has it worse. Her celiac taught her body to attack other parts of it, and that’s why her thyroid and intestines have been under attack. It literally nibbles away at her liver and her enzymes are constantly high.

I’ve had those annoying and somewhat scary heart bubbles every now and then, too. They seem to have picked up, and I wonder if that’s connected to my thyroid as well. Low thyroid sure causes all kinds of problems. Another thing I sometimes get is a cramp along my upper back and neck. We still don’t think it’s my heart, though, because the symptoms aren’t persistent. That’s another thing I don’t get. If the fatigue is because of my thyroid, then why is it not every day? Thyroid levels don’t fluctuate that much.

Got an update from Margaret. Apparently, Dixie’s been trying to contact her. They keep missing each other, but Margaret has heard from her son. Dixie was in the hospital for 10 days with bladder issues. She’s also got the shingles. Most importantly, Diane is still with a couple in Auburn.

Made homemade soup for the first time ever. Cheesy broccoli soup. I made it in the cooker. However, the Velveeta cheese I used for it is pretty salty. So it’s not the greatest but it’s edible.

The next soup I make is going to be chicken noodle soup.

I beat my book count by 10 books. Last year I read 75 books and this year I read 85. Some of them were short stories.

Mia’s starting off the New Year at level 58 and 115K XP.

[psiotechniqa]

Aww that's adorable. You're almost at the point where you can realize that you don't actually have an argue, other than "these people don't like him, that's proof enough for me"

I'm well aware of that particular subreddit. It is a "hate-fandom" subreddit.

Honestly, I would have expected that an erudite individual such as yourself would have had the wherewithall to learn from our past exchange: First you link to wikipedia, now... to a hate-fandom, as proof?

You do realize that this hatedom link is probably the single only other source you could have found on this topic, that is LESS biased than wikipedia?

Good grief, you might as well have found an Iranian government source to "proove" that america is satan. Would make just as much sense.

But lets have a look at the comics you're presenting:

First one: Yes, trans suicide rates are atrociously high. Last I checked they were around 50%. Could it be that Stonetoss is just 'subtly' trying to hint that transitioning doesn't make you less inclined to commit suicide, despite all the claims from various gender-activists?

Makes you think, well... hopefully it should make you think.

Next up: Trans people abusing children.

Let me just google a few headlines for you:

https://www.adelaidenow.com.au/truecrimeaustralia/police-courts-sa/tiktok-star-rachel-queen-burton-pleads-guilty-to-child-abuse-offences-court-told-victims-family-was-stalked-into-homelessness/news-story/45297f20873f39ceab38ca7edb94ed4c

Its not difficult to google... but regardless, the comic itself: its addressing the slippery slope of permissiveness. I'm all for gay marriage, but then in the second panel its about forcing companies to do things they dont want to (in reference to the "gay cake" lawsuits in the US), then there are the bathroom incidents. Plural.

I'm just going to go out on a limb here, and say that Stonetoss looked what kind of behavior was getting normalized in society, and with the last panel was like "well, they haven't started sacrificing children... yet... I guess that's a punchline"

Then there's the third comic. Back on stonetoss's own website, for another comic about rich people, he links the following from a JEWISH PROFESSOR in the description for the comic:

https://jbuff.com/c060514.htm

Make of that, whatever you want. I don't think it promotes hatred. It's not saying to kill anyone. Put that back into the context of the comic: idiot social justice warriors harping about how its evil rich white men who control the world... and sure, there's a majority represented there - but according that writing by that jewish professor, then jews are overrepresented in the upper class in the west. What he's not addressing is why, and I think its honestly because of a bone-hard work ethic.

Then there's the comic about dogs: Dude, some dog breeds are stupider than others. Your failure to acknowledge that says a lot more about you, than it does about stonetoss. Stonetoss is just spicing it up by poking at that holy cow of drawing a direct comparison to humans.

Black slaves in the US were bred in captivity - they were not selected for intelligence - they were selected for endurance and strength, to work hard and be servile. You dont think that could result in certain "traits" being bred into people? Just like how you can breed dogs for more or less aggression or cuddliness?

Then the last one about muslims: Right. Have you heard or seen the kind of things that Iran regularly says about jews? I can assure you, there are a hilarious amount of muslims out there who very much hate on jews. I've even recently heard of these these HAMAS jokers who really don't like this...

And stonetoss is just making fun of the fact that nobody seems to be calling jew-hating muslims nazis, despite them clearly fitting the bill

So congratulations: You've proven nothing other than your own inability to conduct a proper analysis or source your claims. You are mired in your hatred, and I find that sad.

I would offer to pray for you, but I don't think you'd appreciate the gesture.

courting antisemitism

so i recently decided to take a look at the latest stonetoss comics (probably because i love suffering). and while i was expecting some content on the israel palestine conflict, what i did not expect was how... standard it seemed. well, most of it at least, but i'll get to that in a second.

for context, if you don't know what stonetoss is, it's a (poorly drawn) webcomic known for having radical alt-right views - meaning it's incredibly racist, homophobic, transphobic, islamophobic, antisemitic. all that fun stuff.

so while i was expecting to see bad stuff, one of the first things i saw on the topic of israel was this:

terrible art aside, this comic is making a point that i usually see in left wing circles: that israel is pinkwashing genocide.

curious if there was more like this, i kept looking, and the comic right before that one was this:

again, this makes points that i usually see in left wing circles. that american healthcare is crazy expensive, that canada tells poor people to commit suicide, and that israel is bombing hospitals.

why does stonetoss, this well known alt-right nutjob, now seem to be bringing up left-wing talking points?

curious, i kept going deeper:

well this is... odd. clearly, stonetoss is trying to say that israel is on another level of bad, even worse than russia, iran, and north korea. i can possibly see someone on the left making the argument that the russian invasion of ukraine isn't as bad as what israel is doing in gaza, or that at least north korea isn't invading any other countries, but... iran??? the country that has a police force designed to enforce religious law, and gets away with murdering women who do not properly cover their hair? the country that props up paramilitary groups in countries all over the middle east, including lebanon, yemen, and yes, palestine?? that's completely ridiculous

but, given how much more israel is in the news nowadays than any of these other countries, i could see why someone would buy this

and now, we're starting to get to the crux of what stonetoss is trying to do. when someone sees this, they might be inclined to agree with it. they might begin to think that israel is the worst country on the planet

and that might not seem so bad at first. but the more you hate israel, especially irrationally, the more you feel allowed to dehumanize those who support it. the more you might be willing to agree with this comic, which came out two days prior to the one above

this comic says that jews, as a whole have no desire to exist with other people. it is blatantly antisemitic

i'm sure you could imagine some young leftist who sees the comics above this one and thinks, "this guy makes some good points". and then, when they get to this one, they might realize that this is antisemitism

or, they may not.

and that would start them down the road to becoming an antisemite.

this is what stonetoss and other alt-right nutjobs are hoping to achieve. to take left wing fury at israel, and direct it at jews.

we saw it with those neo-nazis at the palestine rally, and we're seeing it again here.

and if you've found yourself agreeing with what stonetoss has said so far, i would like you to see the last comic stonetoss put out before october 7th:

this horrifically racist comic is in reference to an environmental activist who was murdered by a black man in early october. this blatantly racist garbage is the kind of stuff stonetoss usually puts out.

but as soon as october 7th happened? these were his next two comics:

stonetoss completely changed the comic's tone as soon as the current crisis started. why?

to get as many people as possible to get on board with hating jews.

and i know many of you might be thinking that "well, everyone knows that stonetoss is racist garbage. nobody is going to fall for this"

except, as we saw with the neo-nazis at the rally for palestine, it's not always that obvious who the antisemites are and who is just rallying for peace. they are often a lot better at disguising it than stonetoss is.

AND EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE AWARE OF THAT

EVERYONE, no matter HOW much experience you have, can fall victim to propoganda. EVERYONE needs to be aware of what people around them are saying, and able to pick out hateful rhetoric, because even the stuff that is just kind of toeing the line of what's hateful is still putting your foot in the door

be cautious, everyone. and stomp out hate where you see it.

[scentedchildnacho]

She asked if i was alright so I said im fine actually but the California jails sometimes need to be released from their research and the library got targeted with serial killers yesterday....and it was dramatic but it is mostly harassive its having to have a painful adjustment instead of good people

So it's my life and so people start doing wagnerian madness

So this man that was a paranoid android heart issue had apparently had the bisexual image removed and his stomach flattened so he was pretty madness looking invertebrates when it's why would those body parts make sense together

And that's neo Nazis called me their gang to haze into initiation and lash out at men's health at what causes crime

Anyway that madness issue he was a very bad man and serial killer like isis like news from France and he is screaming at me that he is a monastic of God and he is going to kill people and he wants primarily to be around police....so he was in some way very affluent and that drafting like timothy mccvay was very humiliating for him but it was okay ..if he was allowed the security the serial killers do like attach to them and if the security arrived he could like stop trying to cage me and passify me into gratitude for very bullying working class cultures

Truth is I'm more worried about a hells angel with the restaurant workers union they will stalk me with it's those men and I think a restaurant worker with the California jail or institute for women is who is the Irma grece

Its to start hurricane Irma they will act out that creepy like taking stuff out of homeless people's wallets about food.....till the rain God forces it all on house arrest....

That's having to read Jewish confessionals about some of their failures he was gay and he would start obsessing over young men's angelic appearances as worth more to other disciplines and their young men...ick

And later he would have to see research on how weird neo Nazi athletic conscription was like taking them to flag caves and putting them on a lot of acid before he would present demonstrable evidence to himself and learn to enjoy life as it's a human of course it's attractive in some way

So that's me about restaurant workers like all other divisions of labor enormous responsibility and liability as well as constant hard work like criminals veterans and homeless we are forced to take and house all of the problems if it is a problem it's Emma's place give me it all and I will feed and put it together or professional classes actually have to do procedures and teach or lecture to audiences and then it's low income....and there everything is done for them and they are just a robotic they always completely innocent and free from all liability and responsibility that to me is very suspicious

Anyway I think a lot of the restaurant workers are criminals though like a lot of the aggression is having to be one of us and the strain and work load causes that....but something among it is truly brutal beastiel witchy and was like capable of creating that whole concentration experiment called get out and die walking by the ocean....

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 2 - Side B

Propaganda below ⬇️

Dracule Mihawk

Okay so he wears a cross necklace and his sword looks like he has a cross on his back. Like yeah hes a gothy bitch but got that Catholic vibes trust me also got that catholic vampire 18th century facial hair

his weapon is a giant bedazzled cross sword and if he held up his arms he’d look like he was being crucified on it. he’s spanish *and* dracula coded. puss in boots has been accepted and this is his human counterpart.

he keeps sipping red wine, what’s that if not the blood of christ?? also his hobby is gardening and he adopted two orphans. catholic mom.

a vote for mihawk is a vote for all of the forgotten one piece characters

Kristen

Once known as a Chosen of Helio, Kristen lost faith, found out she was gay, escaped the abusive church, and helps a lonely abused goddess return from the dead and continue the goddess of mystery. She also ends up creating her own god in the middle there, but decides it's kind of super annoying and eventually nopes out.

Kristen might be skirting a couple lines here so I'll provide my reasoning for why I think she might belong in the competition but feel free to choose as you wish. Kristen used to follow Helio, and her entire relationship with religion and Helio is meant to show a story of a queer teen leaving an abusive Christian church (I'm not sure if it's specifically Catholic or not, I'm Jewish and don't really understand the differences very well). Throughout the story Kristen meets Helio, finds out how much of a dick he is, finds out how terrible the Church has been and becomes more aware of how her family and the Church are racist/homophobic/abusive/etc., learns more about the world and breaks her ties with the Church, and then goes to find her own faith and a god worth worshipping.

girl is miserable for so much of the first season. girl is battling the brain demons. girl is battling the actual demons. and the actual angels. and the football coach who she knows from church. girl has brothers named bucky bricker and cork. girl invents a new god and cannot get people to convert to her faith apart from a singular dude named craig because she is so visibly annoyed by her own god. girl is gay and has a werewolf girlfriend. girl is so kinky. girl has a dexterity score of 4. not modifier. score. i'm kissing girl on the mouth i love her a lot.

She was a chosen prophet of Helio but oops she’s a very lesbian and so she has to battle with her faith hating gay people as she realizes she is gay people. Early on dies and goes to heaven and discovers Helio is a frat bro and doesn’t really vibe with that. Eventually dies again and fights past angels to get to Helios office and finds her old principal (who died to resurrect her the first time she died, it’s a long story, watch dimension 20, shits wild). And so he makes a deal to help her if she helps him break out of heaven. And also while she’s in heaven she makes a new god whole cloth out of her current beliefs. (She later finds that god annoying because it’s the embodiment of “YES! WOW! YOU CAN DO IT!!” The god turns from YES! Into Yes? In her changing faith. She later resurrects an old god of dreams who was corrupted). But yeah so she has religious trauma out the wazoo. She went to church camp that was actually a front for a cult within the Helioic faith. Idk if it’s Catholicism exactly cause I’m not catholic but it’s clearly parallel so some real world Christ based religion.

At one point they drop 10 stories because they thought they could use their ribbon to fly. They couldn’t.

her entire arc over fantasy high's first season is realizing she was gay and also that her church and the people in it were basically a cult which like SAMESIES and she does end up going to heaven after dying by slipping on corn and getting incredibly disappointed by the jesus equivalent of her universe (his name is helio and he is a frat boy) and after she's resurrected she makes her own god (not very catholic sorry) and preaches about it (pretty catholic of her tbh.) aside from the religious trauma some other kristen fun facts and highlights are that she once ribbon danced down the center of a spiral staircase and lived, she carried a bible around for a good chunk of her freshman year of high school, and her last name isn't a reference to anything because applebees does not exist in the world of fantasy high.

View more propaganda in her tag

[violenceenthusiast]

ok i had a thought that makes me wanna dip my head in acid but in a soft way...

dean and claire having a father/daughter saturday of fun and low-grade mischief, going to an arcade and joke-fighting over what stuffed animal to get with their tickets and getting slushies and while they’re taking a break to grab burgers claire says “yknow i’ve been meaning to go get- wanna come with me while i get a new piercing??”

and dean pinches in the direction of her ear a little and says “what, you don’t have enough of those already?” as if he doesn’t think they’re the coolest thing.

she waves him off, eyes flicking between the burger in her hands and the table “i don’t know i just thought it’d be something else fun to do today.”

dean’s only half teasing when he asks “you want me there to hold your hand?”

claire rolls her eyes and looks to the side with half a smile, “oh shut up.” but it’s true, she does want him there to hold her hand– she may be a hardcore hunter who will take a knife cut or a monster bite in stride, but she always gets a little nervous before each piercing. maybe having dean there will make it just a little more manageable.

––

they get to the studio and claire signs the forms, picks out her jewelry, takes a seat to wait while they get ready for her. dean is pacing, looking carefully in each case, at each display. the nice person behind the counter sees him looking and asks “did you want to get something pierced today too?” claire cracks a smile at that and dean looks up at the counter clerk a little wide-eyed, eyebrows raised and mouth half open in surprise, huffs out a breath and looks down as half a nervous smile pulls at the left side of his mouth. he sticks one hand in his pocket and gives one wave with the other as he says “ha. nah, no- just here for her today” as he gestures at claire. he goes to sit with her until the piercer calls them back to the room that’s set up for them.

claire is getting a conch piercing and it’s going more easily than usual- partly because dean is there with her, partly because there are shockingly few nerve endings in the middle of the ear cartilage, and partly because the woman doing the piercing is insanely pretty and insanely good at what she does (she used to be a phlebotomist so she knows a little something about blood, needles, nervousness, and a given person’s propensity for fainting). while the piercer is busy marking the ear, claire looks over at dean in his chair and unable to contain the question any longer asks him, “you ever thought about getting a piercing?”

“me? nah.. it’s just not- i mean they would’ve gotten ripped out for sure by some- by accident.” he was about to say ‘by some monster’ but caught himself before he really weirded out the nice piercer woman. he hadn’t thought about him and piercings in a long time. he had slowly stopped wearing even rings and bracelets as much over the years in case they got caught on something during a hunt (though now he had a new ring on his left hand that he never took off). a piece of jewelry actually in the body was even more of a ridiculous idea for a hunter. but he wasn’t a hunter any more, not really. hadn’t been for about a year. after chuck and getting cas back safe and human.. with sam and eileen running their witchy little hunter hub from the bunker.. it had just seemed like his opportunity and his time to break out of it all. wow okay in that split second he trailed so far off from where he started.. where did he start? ...piercings! right. he remembers being young and not being able to take his eyes off the men in bars with the metal glinting in their ears, noses, lips.. now he knew the staring had been more about the men than the jewelry but it hadn’t not been about the jewelry either. was this one of those things he got to think about now, again, for the first time in a lifetime?

claire takes a moment to make sure she isn’t woozy any more and gets up to go look in the mirror at her new adornment. she smiles and dean snaps out of his own little world to say “you like it?” 

she looks at him through the mirror “love it.” and then, mischievous, “your turn.”

“my turn??”

“oh absolutely.” a moment of raised eyebrows and incredulous silence then, “if you decide you hate it you can just take it out. c’mon i saw your face, you want one you can’t hide from me.”

she’s right. he protests weakly, but she knows him all too well at this point and she’s right and the goading from the piercer only encourages her.

“okay okay fine. but nothing too showy.”

they decide on a rook. it’s not too prominent but it’s definitely there, definitely unique, it will look okay on it’s own if he never gets another piercing, and if he has to jump in on an odd hunt it’s far enough into the ear that it would be hard for it to get caught on anything or ripped out. dean picks a simple, stainless steel piece with a lapis lazuli setting– blue for his husband (though if you asked him he would deny that’s why he chose it. but only at first).

he can’t believe how jittery he is about the whole thing, but this time claire holds his hand. it’s over before it’s begun and he thought it might be painful like the tattoo was, or like any of the number of painful little things that have happened to him over the years but it’s not, it mostly just feels strange. it’s nice to be surprised like that.

dean hops off the bench like claire did and goes to the mirror half expecting to hate what he sees. but he’s surprised for the second time in barely a minute. the glint of the metal in his ear doesn’t just look good, it looks right. like it was meant to be there and he had been awaiting it’s arrival but didn’t know it. something hard to name, something small, something he didn’t know was missing until he found it had just found its way to him, slotted into place and settled in his ribs. he feels quieter but also on fire– like he’d be satisfied to just sit and read a book, like he could face god and win (again).

from behind him claire asks, “like it?”

he smiles. “love it.”

––

they kick around for a little while longer, each of them forgetting about their new piercings until they catch sight of the other’s or until they catch their reflection in a shop window and take a second to admire the newness. eventually claire begrudgingly admits she has to get back to campus to get some work done. dean drops her off at her dorm with a hug and a “stay out of trouble”. 

dean makes the drive home to cas, just lost enough in happy thoughts and memories from the day that he forgets to put on any music until he’s already half way home. 

he gets to the house and finds cas watering the plants in the living room. he leans in the doorframe, watching his love gently tend to each plant in turn. dean doesn’t say anything, he knows cas knows he’s there and will greet him when he’s finished seeing to his darlings. in the meantime dean gets to delight in the sight of the curve of cas’ back as he bends this way and that to reach the plants, the delicate and reverent care he shows each leaf and vine.

cas finishes his routine, sets the water down and turns to greet dean. he freezes half way to saying hello because something is.. something.. something is... he can’t put a name to it, nothing is wrong but dean is.. shifted. not different.. but different. dean is holding his head oddly turned to the side and it doesn’t help either that dean is smiling around a secret and they both know it. cas narrows his eyes but brushes off the feeling long enough to cross the room and give dean a kiss, quick but whole and familiar. dean turns his head to look at a plant and ask a question about it and “accidentally” reveal his new addition. cas, who hasn’t taken a single step backwards since coming over to kiss dean, of course sees the jewelry immediately and exclaims before dean even has a chance to start his made-up question. 

after some very amusing joke-yelling from both sides, it’s revealed that cas just absolutely loves it. and not that dean was worried cas would hate it but dean was a little worried cas would hate it. or worse, that he would judge it. but cas loves that dean tried something new, loves that he chose something blue, loves that dean seems just that little bit more at home in himself. and from the slight blush in his cheeks and ears, dean can tell cas thinks it’s a little bit sexy too. 

––

dean keeps thinking about how much he liked getting a piercing. he gets it on a fundamental level now, gets claire and her array of silver and gold. he’s got the taste for it now, the itch. he’s thinking about going back for another one. or two. but what else, what next? he cheekily wonders about picking based on what would drive cas wild. 

...dean goes back in secret a month and a half later to get his nips pierced. it doesn’t stay secret for long. not from cas, at least. 

[theexorcistiii]

The kiss with some newish ocs of mine :)

[lopez-richter-fangirl]

Okay let’s talk spies are forever it’s a musical it’s about spies

Firstly gotta say that I am so damn proud of TCB for making this happen it was so so cool to hear this songs revisited and all the original cast were SO much better than they already were in the original show. And the new additions also killed it

I was gonna try and stay on focus with the songs but immediately have to shout out Joey’s hair it really is so damn luscious. Still think there’s a little too much mustache but it is a Look and he does rock it. And while we’re at it fucking Lauren Lopez’s hair ma’am. MA’AM. God bless you and your curls I’m eternally grateful and also dead and in heaven. And the ring my god why did they need SEVEN diamonds I didn’t wanna keep looking at it but I kept looking at it it’ssofuckingsparkly. And definitely wasn’t emotional about it one bit

BUT back to the actual show lol love seeing these gay spies back together and love how much they emphasised they were gay because the subtlety makes sense in the show but we want everyone to know they were lovers

Curt has always impressed me with Spy Again and the emotional journey he goes on is perfect but hearing it live really made me appreciate his voice. Also taking someone’s drink during the song and then proceeding to accidentally spill it was a big Agent Curt Mega move

POMME I’d never seen/heard any of his performances my #1 thought with him had always been thank you but fuck you for giving us that story about them flirting, but his voice was also SO good and he was so funny. Joe’s DMA is so distinctive but this had the same essence without being an imitation it was so great. The start of Somebody’s Gotta Do It was him onstage asking Clark if it was his number and he said hi to Denise both nights (idk how many shows his parents went to but both that I was at) and made a joke about not having seen the show and been meaning to watch it for 6 years and then we get baby boy running on stage with his “sorry I’m late” and he’s just SO GOOD as Sergio. But “wife” got me just as much as I was expecting and there was a lot of hip game definitely at least the last night and doing it to emphasise wife was not it Joey. Not. It. Also didn’t think about hearing the dialogue so the wedding anniversary bit was also no. And I had an anon talk about Pomme hanging out with J&L but them singing this song together also made me like,, 🥺 But Joey’s VOICE I continue to be impressed by how much he’s improved

Then Eyes on the Prize I my beloved. Adore Lauren’s Cynthia. “Curt shut up” when he’s not saying anything? Perfect. Love the range in this song because her high notes are the most angelic thing to ever exist in this world but she controls the switches so well. And definitely the last night the growl in “die on me”,, babe do you want me to pass out? Okay and AJ!! He is so fucking funny, the way he does the “you gotta’s” and then just walks away so casually. And Lauren’s sustained notes at the end my goddd she’s fucking incredible. Really need her to not sing with her hands so much when she’s wearing the goddamn ring though

And man Tessa with Pay Attention is also perfect every time, 150% vibes and energy. Talking about Curt’s beard when he doesn’t have a beard always gonna be funny. This song was also about making sure everyone knows they’ve got great asses, apparently

Eyes on the Prize II truly sensual as FUCK. In a funny way but also a Lauren you gotta stop way

And we did get (a slightly censored) Not So Bad! They really handled it so well, and Brian really emphasised the “I’M Jewish”, it was even more over the top ridiculous, they cut the dance break to check in, and said a very explicit “fuck Nazis” at the end. Love them

Like I’ve said, fucking adore Joey’s Vanger Borschtit but AJ was so fucking great, I knew they wanted to change some but they changed a LOT of lyrics which was fun

Doing This is such a great song MK and Curt are really great (we know I’m not her biggest fan but the way MK sang the “in your mother’s home” part really hit something in my brain but are we gonna act like Lauren wasn’t the best part of it, no. She’s SO funny. Okay wait also in my head she did a really pretty riff but I’m actually 96% sure I’m making that up lol

And then my favourite part of the show, Lo coming onstage to say “best song in the show” and then “oh not that one, the one I’m about to sing”. Uproarious applause. She takes a bow. Incredible. Genuinely her stage presence and command of an audience is insane

One more shot is suchhhh a fun song and I really wish Esther could have been there but Brian was SO great

Then One Step Ahead honestly the first night I was just like my god Joey is Hot. So either I was just distracted or they did up it by the last night but like getting close enough to kiss, Joey checking out Curt’s ass, THIS is what this song is. And again, Joey’s voiceee. And the return of “time-a decide!!!” Can’t believe I almost forgot

Then Spy Dance is another really fun song and made even better by Lauren maybe fucking up and then laughing at herself bby girl I love you

And huge shoutout to Clark (and Pierce) for WRITING the most amazing songs and accompanying

This really just emphasised even more how *incredible* this show is, I’m so grateful I got to see it and I really really hope this is the start of even bigger things for them

Honourable mention to Lauren’s little runs when she was going offstage you’re the most adorable person I’ve ever seen

Everyone get the digital ticket!!