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themissingnumbers · 3 months ago

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HOW IT FEELS TO DISAPPEAR: DESCENT

WARNINGS: Disturbing Imagery. FIRST || PREV | NEXT READ THE STORY ON AO3 [Try to comfort him.] [DO THE RIGHT THING. AND GET RID OF THE EEVEE.]

You can feel such an awful lump in your throat, seeing how hurt he is. You breathe in deeply and calm yourself. Your shaking voice sweetens into something soft and comforting.

"Blue..." you call to him, "Hey, look...! I'm here- I'm here for you, bud, you're not alone..."

He curls in on himself even tighter. You hear him mutter something, but it's so soft, so muffled, you can't quite understand.

"I- I'm sorry about earlier," you continue, willing yourself to keep your composure. "I'm sorry I left you alone for so long... but I'm here now! Whatever you're thinking and whatever's going on, you don't have to deal with it alone anymore. I promise. I may not know what's going on, but..."

You watch him perk up a bit. You feel a twinge of hope. That your words mean something. That you're getting through to him. That things will be okay.

"I want to help you," you finish, holding a hand out to him.

Blue turns, slowly. He meets your eyes from where he cowers below you, allowing you to finally see the poor boy's face.

His eyes and cheeks glisten with tears, and with how red and puffy they are, you wonder how long he's been here, crying like this. His dusty-brown irises almost seem to reflect as an ocean blue, despite the dim lighting...

"Leaf..." he whispers, turning and shakily rising to his feet. Your full attention lands on him- anything he has to say. You'll do anything.

"Please... Please..."

You watch your friend wince. You swear- you can hear some kind of second voice- a voice that seems to illicit that reaction from him. But you can't strain to listen, can't even react. Blue lurches forward, barely catching himself on your shoulders.

"Don't listen to him- to THEM- it's all LIES, Leaf, they just want-"

He gasps, head snapping up to look at something to the side. He seems so scared. Dread bubbling in your chest, you follow his eyes.

The countless Ghosts of unfamiliar Channelers turn to look right at you.

"... Run," he breathes, and then he starts to yell, "JUST GO, LEAF! GET OUT!!"

You try to protest, "but you-"

"NOW! JUST RUN!"

The way the boy screams, the way he shoves you away, the way Eevee cries in your arms... and the way you can feel every last ghost lurch towards you-

Pure instinct and adrenaline overwhelms you.

Half-stumbling from Blue's push, every fearful word and question dying in your throat, you turn heel and run.

Somehow, you don't have to turn to know that the spirits all rush right past Blue, leaving him untouched, unharmed-

It's the only thing that you can understand in this frantic moment: You're the one they want.

Thank the Gods, the exit to this floor has reappeared.

As fast as you feet could possibly carry you, you practically fly down the Pokemon Tower, the chill of bloody hands and screams of souls in rapid pursuit driving you forward in blind terror. The floors on floors of the graveyard are nothing but a blur of tiles and tombs and stairs and candlelight. You give nothing even a chance to slow you down.

As you focus your hands on clinging tight to Eevee, you feel your hat fly off your head- a consequence of your frantic speed and lack of care.

Stopping to save it isn't even a thought in your mind at this point.

Suddenly, you burst out of the front doors of the tower, and you finally lose your footing and fall face-first, skidding gracelessly into the dew-soaked grass of Lavender Town. Eevee is flung out of your arms on the way down, and you feel your one slipper fly off your foot, leaving you both empty handed and barefoot.

It hurts. Your face, elbows, knees all sting like hell with how hard you went down. You know you can't get up to save yourself quickly enough, not like this- your heart stops, knowing that this could be it. You squeeze your eyes shut and hide your face in your arms, ready to accept your fate...

...

...?

... You hesitantly lift your head, looking back towards the entrance to the tower.

Nothing's there. The doors are shut firmly behind you. None of the things that pursued you down the tower followed you out. You take a deep, gasping breath- you hadn't realized you'd been holding it, and collapse fully back into the grass again, just taking a moment to rest.

Dazed, your mind wanders to the exchange you'd had with Blue in the tower.

More than anything, what perplexes you is that other voice you'd heard, for only a brief moment...

"... you? Do the right thing, and get rid of the Eevee, boy. It's..."

... You pray to the Gods that Blue will really be okay. Pure regret overwhelms you as you wish you would've grabbed him and ran together.

And yet... a part of you knows he wouldn't have followed you.

Something soft and furry bumping against you takes you away from your thoughts. You shake it off, pushing yourself up to look down at Eevee.

At least it isn't too hurt... Your fall must not have flung it too far, and you're sure you took the brunt of the damage from your momentum, if the stinging of your scuffed arms, legs, and face was anything to go by.

You push yourself to your feet, looking down at yourself with a somber expression. Mud and grass color your pale jacket with green and brown, while streaks of red color your skinned knees and forearms. And all of your clothes- what's left at this point, anyways- are damp from the dew you'd slid on. A feeling of bitterness strikes you at the loss of your beloved hat... But you wouldn't dare step foot in that graveyard again. Not in a million years.

... You decide not to bother with your lost slipper, either. Walking with only one shoe on was getting uncomfortable, you try to justify to yourself.

At the very least, you've still got the clothes on your back, your jacket, and your bag... and Eevee, of course. You open the bag up, kneeling down to give it its little perch back. It jumps right over the bag and back onto your shoulder, though. After everything, you can't really blame it for preferring the closer proximity.

Well! Nothing's broken, at least. Always good to consider the bright side. As put-together as you possibly could be, you turn to look at the rest of your surroundings. It's dim- seems like dawn, you figure, the dampness surrounding you most likely a product of a crisp morning signaling oncoming rain...

You're somewhere familiar, though. That's what strikes you most. You know where you are- from here, you could finally go home. You're out of that death trap, and you know how to get back to Palette from here... it's a long journey on foot, but maybe you could get help, or wait for Blue to emerge...

The thought of just waiting here doesn't sit well with you, though. So, you elect to embark down one of the nearby routes.

...

You should know better by now to even think that this could be over.

You've tried every exit. Every facility where you could get help. The Pokemart? Locked. Pokemon Center? Locked. And all three of the exits...

Each and every one, closed off by those old white fences, and a line of ghosts- each spirit, seemingly a resident of this town, you recognize a few of them as well as the Nurse and Cashiers from the vacant facilities. They all stared down at you, sneering at your fruitless efforts to escape at every turn.

“You can’t hide from us.”

“You can’t escape from us.”

“Do you really think you have a chance?”

So, you're stuck wandering the streets- still trying each home in the neighborhood here, knocking and begging for help, only to receive no answers. Why would you? Clearly, judging by the ghosts blocking off each road, nobody's home... and nobody cares.

“Do you really think he cares about you?”

“Do you really think you can trust someone like him?”

The cynical voices seem to follow you from all sides as you try to find someone who's still of flesh and blood around here. Each jab they make is trying to cut deeper than the last, and you find yourself trying to hurry up with each whisper. They're getting harder and harder to ignore.

“Why even bother with a kid beyond reason…?”

“He’s not who you think he is.”

“He’s not your friend.”

You're tired. You're exhausted, in fact. You feel about ready to give up. You haven't tried everything yet, though, so you can't. It's not like there's any choice in the matter.

You approach one of the only homes you haven't knocked on yet. You're running out of options. What you need right now is a goddamn miracle.

Same as every other home, you reach out. Knock on the door. It's silent.

You reach down. Try the doorknob.

And to your shock and relief... it opens.

You peer inside, feeling about ready to leap for joy. There's a few people inside of the house, as well as some Pokemon- a younger girl, a Bug Catcher, and someone else sitting by the window. The Lass spots you, motioning for you to hurry in.

You gladly oblige, slumping back against the door. Just by being in here, as if smiled upon by some distant, divine protection, it seems like a huge weight has been lifted. Your injuries sting a bit less, your heartbeat steadies, and it's like you can properly breathe again. You thank your lucky stars to have stumbled upon a place like this.

After a brief rest, you move forward to better take in your surroundings. It's only now that something clicks- the layout, the Pokemon in here... This was Mr. Fuji's house, wasn't it? It certainly explains the more welcoming atmosphere- he was such a kind man and cared so deeply for any and all lonesome Pokemon. If this were a safe haven for those Pokemon, then it'd only make sense for the same to ring true for you and the other children in here.

The girl doesn't directly acknowledge you, but you hear her sniffling, whispering to the Nidorino that had been a long-time resident. You faintly catch something about "wanting out of this nightmare," and you can't help but feel some relief in knowing that this isn't all in your head.

The Bug Catcher is much quieter. You meet his striking green eyes for a moment- they almost seem to bore into you with a vaguely familiar look, and a faint amusement... he doesn't say anything, though. Just turns his attention back to playing with the tiny Caterpie on the table- notably, the only Pokemon here that you don't recognize as one of Mr. Fuji's.

Whatever, you think. It's not anyone you know. As far as you're concerned, he's unimportant- just another lucky kid who'd gotten away from the ghost, just like you, that lass, and the other person at the back...

When you look up at them fully, your thoughts screech to a halt.

The jacket- the hat-!

You could practically leap for joy. This isn't just someone you know- this is someone you love, this is family, this is your brother-

"Red!!" you exclaim, hurrying over and nearly tackling him into a hug the second he turns to face you. You practically sob into his jacket, clinging onto him tight as if he'd fade away when you let go.

“Red- Red, oh my Gods,” you manage, “I’m so glad you’re here- I, I don’t know what happened-! I had this, this awful dream, I, I think- And now there’s ghosts, just- just everywhere, I– I woke up in Pokemon Tower, and- and Blue, he, he's…”

As you ramble, nearly manic as you confide in your brother about all the pain you've been through, your voice begins to grow weaker and weaker, until finally, you trail off completely. You're almost too exhausted for words, but that's not the only thing...

He's barely even moved a muscle, no less actually reacted to your presence. It's like you're hugging a rock. And yes, Red's always been on the more stoic side- but you pull back, and stare at his flat, borderline disinterested expression, the same as it's literally always been, and you feel a pang of frustration.

Even once, could he be bothered to try to show that he cares? To even try to comfort you? You know he struggles with this emotional stuff, but... After everything you've been through, not even so much as a single word, not even one movement...

It's like he's staring right through you.

It's like he doesn't even care.

You try to swallow back your brewing frustration. Relax, Leaf. He's... He's usually like this. You just need to give him patience. Just a little grace, same as always. You just need to be patient.

You open your mouth, your next words tumbling out as barely a whisper.

#missing numbers #how it feels to disappear: descent #leaf aoyama #blue gary oak #fire red yuuji #loneliness the eevee #abandon lonliness #abandoned loneliness #pokepasta

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