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stevie-petey · 10 months ago

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episode nine: the beginning

“No, I understand.” Steve smiles and then points to the wall of comics behind you. “So, if we’re going to be friends, I gotta ask about your Spider-Man obsession.” “Oh, now that’s just too personal. This is like, day three of our friendship. At least ask what my favorite color is, first.” Steve laughs again and nods. “Alright, fair. What is your favorite color, then?” And this is the beginning of your friendship with Steve Harrington.

summary: BONUS EPISODE TIME ! steve becomes bookstrorindary's favorite loyal costumer, jonathan buys you a bug for christmas, you freak out your poor coworker alex, and suddenly steve is really hot and you're feeling so many feelings (bad ! it's all bad !).

rating: general, some swearing

warnings: swearing, angst ending (sorry gang), fem!reader and use of y/n

words: 6.5k

before you swing in: surprise ! bonus chapter that takes place between seasons 1 and 2. basically, as the title says, it's the beginning of everything between steve and reader. this is where everything starts to take shape, their beginning dynamic, and ultimately the horrible timing of it all. life is hard, steve is hot, and reader just wants to heal her physical and metaphorical wounds. enjoy !

November 15th, 1983

When Steve Harrington walks into Bookstrordinary your first day back, you think your lingering concussion from the monster is causing you to hallucinate.

You had been struggling to reshelf some books, your crutches being a burden and hard to balance with as you stack, when the bell above the front door alerted you of someone’s arrival.

“Welcome to Bookstrordinary, how can I help you–” You place the last back in the shelf and turn around, not expecting who you see. “Steve?”

He smiles at you and shoves his hands in his bomber jacket. “Hey, Y/N.”

“What are you doing here?”

“You can’t figure out my nickname if we don’t hang out, right? So,” He shrugs, as if this is just another Monday for him. “I’m here.”

You stare at him for a moment, unsure what exactly to do. While you hadn’t been lying when you told Steve that you guys could be friends, you hadn’t expected him to jump at the opportunity so quickly. His eyebrow is still healing from his fight with Jonathan in the alley and you’re stuck with crutches for the next two weeks.

Wounds are still healing. You figured Steve would take some time to collect himself, but it appears that he simply doesn’t care, or maybe it doesn’t matter to him.

“How did you know I even worked here?” You ask the boy, now making your way over to the front counter where he stands.

Steve chuckles. “You really can’t give me credit for anything, can you? I pay attention, Y/N. I can be observant.”

“It’s not like that,” you’re quick to correct, scared that Steve will think you see him as some mean jock. “I just… I’m not used to people paying attention to me, I guess.”

You pause and make a face, not liking the way that sounds. “That sounded incredibly gross and cheesy, huh?”

“No, I understand.” Steve smiles and then points to the wall of comics behind you. “So, if we’re going to be friends, I gotta ask about your Spider-Man obsession.”

“Oh, now that’s just too personal. This is like, day three of our friendship. At least ask what my favorite color is, first.”

Steve laughs again and nods. “Alright, fair. What is your favorite color, then?”

And this is the beginning of your friendship with Steve Harrington.

He spends almost two hours the first day at your job, asking you questions about yourself, your favorite food and color and animal, which genre of books you prefer, anything and everything he can think of to get to know you better, Steve asks it.

At first you’re unnerved by his onslaught of questions, but slowly you find yourself opening up to him and enjoying having Steve with you. He makes your last few hours of work bearable and fun. Before you know it, you begin asking him your own questions. You learn that he loves banana bread, secretly enjoys helping his mom around the house, and that blue is his favorite color.

When your coworker Alex walks in to take over the next shift and finds you leaning against the counter talking to Steve, he almost spits out the milkshake he had been drinking. “S–Steve Harrington?”

Steve tenses for a second and, before your very eyes, he morphs into his King Steve persona effortlessly. You’re not sure what exactly he changes about himself, but he becomes more closed off, guarded, with an air of authority that frightens you a little. “Hey, kid. Do I know you?”

Alex shakes his head, too stunned to speak.

“That’s my coworker, Alex.” You take pity on the poor kid. He’s only a year younger than you, but you suppose that a junior like Steve, someone well known and admired throughout the school, can be intimidating.

“Nice to meet ya, buddy. I’m assuming that Y/N here is off the clock now?”

“Y–yes.” Alex squeaks out.

The bell above the door rings again, this time announcing Jonathan’s arrival.

He walks in, distracted with some groceries in his arms, so when he finally looks up and sees you, Steve, and Alex all standing in a circle staring at him, he freezes. “Well, this is an interesting sight.”

Steve ducks his head, his King persona quickly fading away. “Hey, Jonathan.”

“Steve,” Jonathan responds cooly, looking between you and him as if trying to figure out a complex math equation.

Great.

You clear your throat and step away from Steve, heading to the back of the store to collect your things and clock out. “Just give me a minute or two to grab my things, then I’ll be all set to leave, Jonathan.”

He nods at you, still staring at Steve like he’s some foreign creature, and you quickly hobble away to avoid any interaction between them. You’re not sure why having the two of them in the same room as you feels so wrong, but your head still aches from its concussion and your ribs are so bruised that breathing still hurts, so you really don’t have the time to figure any of it out.

While you’re gone, Steve and Jonathan continue to stare each other down.

“Picking Y/N up?” Steve guesses, eyeing the keys in Jonathan’s hand and the groceries in the other.

“Yeah, kinda something I’ve always done.”

“Right.”

Jonathan readjusts his grip on one of the grocery bags, having nothing better to do as he waits for you. Alex busies himself with rearranging some books at the counter, clearly equally as uncomfortable as the two teens are.

Steve lets a whistle out and awkwardly stuffs his hands into his pockets. Jonathan watches him in curiosity. The scab on his eyebrow has almost healed over, but Jonathan still gets a kick of pride seeing it. He’d done that. He’d marred King Steve’s handsome face.

“Are you, like… Y/N’s friend now?” Asks Jonathan, the question heavy on his mind. He trusts your judgment of people, he knows you can read people better than anyone else, but having Steve around you makes him uneasy. The guy had been a grade A dick to you and him for years, especially his bullshit friends Carol and Tommy.

“We made a compromise,” Steve says, a hint of humor in his voice.

Jonathan frowns. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well–”

“Okay, let’s go!” You walk back in, fearful of whatever conversation you’ve interrupted.

Jonathan watches as Steve immediately turns to you, as if drawn in by your mere presence, and he starts to wonder exactly what the boy’s intentions are with you. All you did was walk into the room, and yet Steve is hanging onto your every word.

He doesn't blame him, god he doesn't. It’s you. You could command a room with just your smile alone, but Jonathan isn’t used to sharing that with others.

Especially not with people like Steve.

“Will you be working tomorrow?” Steve asks you, a twinkle in his eye.

You nod at him. “Mhm, I work every day after school. On weekends I’m usually home doing homework or keeping that one in check.”

You point at Jonathan, who laughs. “Guilty.”

“Then I’ll see you at the same time tomorrow?” Steve doesn’t even look over at Jonathan, which he rolls his eyes at.

“See ya then.” You smile wide at Steve and for some reason Jonathan really wants to throw the bag of eggs he’s holding.

This was not what he had been expecting when he told you earlier he’d be picking you up after getting his mom some groceries.

And had someone told Jonathan that the rest of sophomore year would go on like this, he probably would’ve thrown the bag of eggs at Steve then.

–

True to his word, Steve comes by and visits you almost every day leading up to winter break. He becomes a regular, hanging around the counter talking to you about anything and everything. The first few days you had been a bit nervous that your boss, Mrs. Waters, would have a problem with him, but she quickly dispelled your concerns.

“Oh, that handsome young man? He can stay as long as he likes. I think he’s the reason we’ve been getting so many young customers recently.”

You look around and realize that, yeah, there is in fact a new group of freshmen girls who have started stopping by and browsing the romance section. You’ve noticed the way they stop and stare at Steve while he talks to you, whispering and giggling to themselves.

Steve pays them no mind, always too busy talking about basketball or his latest issue with Nancy.

That’s been the one downside to all of this, really.

You’re happy the two of you are friends, but between Jonathan’s moaning about the girl and now Steve’s worrying that he’ll never be good enough, you’re kinda sick of talking about Nancy Wheeler.

Which is a shame, you actually quite admire the girl.

“And today she looked at me in the hallway and I think she even smiled–”

“Steve,” you interrupt him, a headache forming. “Like I’ve told you a million times now, she needs some time. It’s only been a few weeks, I think she’s still recovering from what happened at Jonathan’s. She also lost Barb, you can’t forget that.”

You don’t tell Steve about the whole Jonathan and Nancy situation, partly because it isn’t your place, and partly because you’re not sure if it will do more harm than good.

The boy nods, looking crestfallen. “Yeah, you’re right. I just… I want to get this right, ya know?”

“I know, and you will. Just… let her come to you, but also show that you’re still there for her. Does that make sense?”

“Yes. Got it. Stay at a distance, but in a smooth way.”

You snort. “Not how I would’ve phrased that, but sure.”

You go back to counting the change in your register, beginning the early stages of closing up for the night. Jonathan will be here in about twenty minutes, you’ve come to learn that if you distract Steve when he’s here, then there’s fewer awkward interactions.

You’re hoping that once Nancy figures out which boy she wants that you can then all be friends, but until then you’re stuck with being an uncomfortable middleman who just wants to drive home with you best friend in peace after spending a lovely evening with your new and endearing friend.

Speaking of your new and endearing friend, Steve begins to tap his fingers against the countertop, fidgeting around. Amongst the many things you’ve learned about Steve these last few weeks, you’ve also learned that he absolutely hates silence and standing still.

“Okay,” you place your hand over his fingers, stopping his tapping. “I’m going to start closing, how about I give you a list of the books and comics I need to bring home with me? It’ll make closing go by faster.”

Steve perks up, happy to be given something to do. “Alright, I can do that. What are they for, though?”

“Most of the comics will be for the boys; it'll be their Christmas gifts. The rest, the books mostly, will be for myself. I like to add them to my bookshelf at home.”

“No way,” Steve’s eyes light up and he leans in close, a teasing smile on his face. “Am I about to get a look into Y/N Henderson’s mind?”

You shoo him off your counter, grabbing your crutches to start restocking books for tomorrow. Steve follows close behind, carefully watching your steps to make sure you don’t fall. “I wouldn’t be too happy, I doubt you’d be able to figure out which comics are for me and which are for the kids. As for the books… well, guess I’ll have to make you sign a contract stating our friendship is legally binding. Can’t embarrass myself.”

“I’d gladly sign it,” Steve says, without even hesitating.

You stumble a bit and he’s quick to steady you. Steve does that sometimes, says things that make you feel like you feel hazy and warm. Too warm. You’re not used to his candidness yet; Steve doesn’t hide how he’s feeling, he’s an open book.

You’re not sure if his open vulnerability is a good thing, but you’re slowly starting to find it nice. Pleasant, almost.

“Anyways,” you shake your head, trying to clear your mind and ignore whatever cologne Steve is wearing that makes your head spin. “The list is in my backpack by the counter. Grab it and start hunting, soldier.”

Steve salutes you and does as he’s told. In no time he’s wandering the bookstore, humming to himself as he skims the many shelves and aisles to find everything you need. You busy yourself with your own job, arranging a new shipment of books so that Alex has a calm opening shift the next morning.

The freshmen girls have long since left, leaving you and Steve alone. Mrs. Waters is somewhere in her office, probably seeing if there’s any way to hire Steve, and it’s nice being alone with him. The two of you work silently side by side, he diligently works on his task and you can’t help but sneak a few glances when he’s not looking.

Steve Harrington has always been attractive, you can’t deny that, but learning this gentler and nerdier side of him has only increased his attractiveness tenfold. Pair him with Nancy and it’s no wonder the two of them were such a hit at school. They make a beautiful pair, something you almost envy.

Just as you’ve finished stacking the last of the new shipment, the bell rings in the store. You look up, seeing Jonathan, and feel yourself smile. He looks more tired today, though you suppose it’s because he’s basically become the kids’ chauffeur now that he’s no longer working. He claims that he doesn’t mind, but you know he secretly wishes you were there to help.

“Rough day, bee?”

He nods, walking over to you and places his head against your shoulder, letting out a dramatic groan. “Dustin insisted I drive them to the quarry to reenact Will’s body being retrieved. It was morbid, and yet… Kinda funny.”

“I…” you’re speechless, in complete disbelief. “Those boys are horrible, I love their freakish little brains.”

“What’d they do now?” Steve appears, a giant stack of comics and books in his arms. “Hey, Jonathan.”

“Steve,”

You gently remove Jonathan from your shoulder and face Steve. “They reenacted Will’s dead body being found in the quarry. A typical Friday afternoon, really.”

Steve’s jaw drops, equally as speechless as you were, and you and Jonathan laugh at him. “They sound insane.”

“If we’re going to be friends, you really gotta get used to the boys.” You tell him with a shrug.

Jonathan walks over to the counter and grabs your backpack, then goes to Steve and holds it open, motioning for him to place all the comics and books in there. “She’s right, you know.”

Steve lets a chuckle out, a hint of nervousness mixed in with delight as he drops your stuff in the bag. “I know, she’s always right. That’s what scares me.”

You blush and leave the boys on their own to go inform Mrs. Waters that you’re closing up. You hear them start whispering to each other as you leave, and you make a mental note to badger Jonathan about it on the drive home. While you’re relieved they seem to be getting along tonight, you absolutely cannot have them forming an alliance against you. They’d lose, of course, but still.

–

Winter break comes and you spend the first half of it with your family and the Byers. Your mom has slowly started letting you out the house again. When you came home with a sprained ankle, crutches, and bruised ribs, she’d almost fainted. You were promptly placed under house arrest, only allowed out for work and school, but you didn’t mind.

It takes some pleading, you manage to convince her to allow you to bike to the Byers’ on Christmas to deliver your treats for them. When she agreed, you were giddy, finally having some time to yourself.

Though it’s snowing, you enjoy the beautiful serenity of it all. The layer of white, untouched and pristine, falling around the pine trees like a blanket tucking you in after a long day, makes you smile.

It’s always so lovely seeing Will and Joyce and you wish you could stay longer, but your mom had been firm when she told you to be back within the hour, so you deliver the cookies and bid your farewells before Jonathan drives you home.

After your conversation, making him promise that things will always remain the same between you two, the car ride is silent once more. You’re okay with this, finding that you’ve come to miss your comfortable silences with Jonathan. They’ve become few and far between ever since Will’s reappearance. You’ve both been busy attending to him and the boys, trying to make everything as normal as possible again.

When Jonathan pulls into your driveway, you unbuckle your seatbelt and lean over to kiss his cheek, but he stops you. “Hold on, I figured we’d do our gift exchange early this year.”

You gasp. “Did you plan this?”

For years now, you and Jonathan have given each other your gifts the day after Christmas so that it’s just the two of you, no one else, experiencing the moment. You love the tradition, it’s become your favorite part of Christmas.

“Maybe,” he laughs, wrapping around his seat to get to the back. He pulls out a small box that’s so poorly wrapped, you know he did it all by himself. “Here, open it.”

“But your gift is inside, I didn’t–”

“Shush and open the gift, damnit.”

“How sweet,” you tease, but eagerly begin tearing at the wrapping paper. Jonathan has always given you the most obscure and wonderful gifts, every year he somehow manages to surprise you. You tear off the last piece of wrapping paper and open the small box, gasping when you see what’s inside. “Jonathan… you didn’t.”

Inside the box is a beautiful silver necklace. The chain itself is simple, it’s the pendant attached to it that takes your breath away.

Dangling from the necklace is a bee, no bigger than a centimeter or so.

There’s small diamonds in its wings and the necklace itself is minimal, something you’d only notice if you were paying attention, and it’s the most precious gift you’ve ever been given. You touch it delicately, the metal cool against your fingertips.

Jonathan gives you a boyish smile. “Figured we could match.”

“What–” He raises his right hand and for the first time you notice a ring on his index finger. You gasp again and snatch his hand, bringing it closer to your face so you can get a better look. The ring has a thick silver band, and there, in its center, is a ladybug as small as your bee. The ladybug is all silver, its wings integrated through the ring’s band. “Jonathan…”

“Do you like it? I found the jewelry at a garage sale this summer. Came as a pair,” Jonathan wraps the hand you’re inspecting around your own. “Almost like fate knew I’d find it for us, ya know? Bug and bee, you and me.”

You have so many things you want to say, but the words are stuck in your throat and all you want to do is grab Jonathan and pull him in and never, ever let him go. “You’ve had the jewelry for months?”

“Hardest secret I’ve had to keep from you, honestly.”

You laugh and cry and kiss Jonathan’s cheek a million times. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

Things are finally starting to feel alright again. Here the two of you are, parked in your driveway in Jonathan’s rundown car, off in your own little world for the first time in months. It’s just the two of you, no one else, with only the falling snow as your company.

You couldn’t be happier. You feel complete again, whole, with Jonathan’s pinky promise from earlier as your oath.

“I feel bad,” you say as Jonathan walks you to your door. “For Christmas all I got you were cassettes. Had I known you were being sentimental this year I would’ve given you a lock of my hair or something.”

Jonathan laughs, and the sound doesn’t hurt you as much as it used to.

–

Working the day after Christmas has always been your favorite shift. No one ever comes in, it’s always just been you, your books, and your comics for five blissful hours.

Somehow, you should’ve known that Steve would stop by anyways.

You’re admiring your new necklace in a mirror when he walks in, all bundled up due to the flurry of snow that’s encasing Hawkins.

“How do you always manage to know when I’ll be working?” You ask him in lieu of a greeting.

Steve unzips his coat and hangs it up. “A magician never reveals his secrets, Y/N.”

“Boring, I say they should.”

“Well,” he walks over with both hands behind his back, hiding something, which you raise your eyebrows at. “Instead of my secrets, can we compromise on revealing a gift instead?”

You gape at him. “Please tell me you didn’t.”

“Oh, I did.”

“Steve! I didn’t even get you anything, I hate being empty handed! This is literally my worst nightmare–”

Steve places the box on the counter with a devilish smile on his face. “Just shush and open it, Y/N.”

“But–”

“Open it.”

You sigh, very much against this entire thing, but curiosity gets the better of you. Steve has only been your friend for barely a month now, what could he have possibly gotten you? The wrapping is well done, vastly neater than Jonathan’s had been, which you comment on.

Steve blushes. “My mom sorta helped me wrap it.”

Something warm settles in your stomach at the idea of Steve’s mom helping him wrap his gift for you. “Tell her that I admire her tasteful wrapping skills.”

Steve chuckles and tells you he will, but he’s too focused on watching you slowly unwrap the gift. Inside is a rectangular box, thin but sturdy, and you look up at your friend curiously. “What’s this?”

“Open it and see.” Steve says, giving you a duh look.

You roll your eyes at him but lift the box’s lid and almost scream when you see what’s inside.

Steve anxiously studies your reaction, seeing the way your eyes widen comically and you throw your hands over your mouth to stifle a scream. You’re practically jumping up and down in your excitement to hold the framed poster up, and he feels relief wash over him. You seem to love the gift, he finally did something right.

“How the fuck did you get this?” You exclaim, studying the incredible details on the poster. It’s the cover of the very first edition of Spider-Man, Amazing Fantasy #15. You eyes scan over it and notice scrawled handwriting next to Spider-Man’s leg. “No, oh my god.”

“Notice anything special about it?” Steve leans against the counter with his arms crossed, a pleased smile on his face.

“It’s signed? By Stan fucking Lee?”

“Yup.”

You run out from behind the counter and engulf Steve in your arms. He’s stiff against you, having not expected such a reaction, but you don’t care. You bury your face in his chest and squeeze him, trying your best to exude your immense gratitude. “Thank you,”

Steve slowly relaxes into the embrace and wraps his arms around you, gently patting your back. “My dad knows a guy… Thought you’d like it.”

“I love it, Steve.” You whisper, your words muffled by his sweater.

You’re still wrapped in his arms, standing toe to toe with him, and you’re so happy it almost hurts. Steve’s arms are warm and strong and you feel him hesitantly rest his cheek atop of your head. He brings you in closer, secures his hold on you a little tighter, and you can smell that stupidly expensive and addicting cologne of his.

Steve is internally freaking out. Not only is he hugging you right now, but he’s surrounded by you. Your hair is against his cheek, your soft perfume overtakes his senses, and the sweater you’re wearing has Steve believing that everything about you is just warm and comforting and lovely. He wants to pull you in deeper, pull you into him, even.

He’s never been hugged like this before, so openly and with such sincerity.

He doesn’t want this moment to end, honestly.

Then your boss comes through the front door. “Well, hello there, children.”

You don’t necessarily pull away from Steve, letting an arm linger around him so that you can face your boss. “Hello, Mrs. Waters. We were just wrapping up, then we’ll be out of your hair.”

She waves you off, winking, and scurries over to her office. “Oh, don’t mind me! Carry on!”

You and Steve laugh, no ounce of tension between you. He seems carefree as always, and you have to refrain from pulling him into another hug. You look up at him, still toe to toe, so your head almost butts against his chin. “I sort the books, you stack?”

He smiles down at you. “Deal.”

–

Winter becomes spring and somehow you manage to finish sophomore year without any further problems. Jonathan remains by your side, Steve continues to visit you at work, and you even strike up a tentative friendship with Nancy.

It was hard at first, especially after she got back together with Steve, but Jonathan seemed to do well at burying down his feelings and insisted that the four of you could make things work, so you do.

Nancy is a joy to be around when you forget about the fact that Jonathan is hopelessly in love with her. She’s incredibly intelligent, cunning, and a great chemistry partner. Following the events of Will, you and her discover that by studying together, Kaminsky’s exams aren’t too difficult.

You often study together in the library while Jonathan sits across the table doing his own work. Slowly, Steve begins to join in as well. He usually spends your study sessions cracking jokes and bugging Jonathan, but after a while even he breaks down Jonathan’s stoic demeanor and strikes up their own hesitant relationship.

It’s not perfect, there’s still some underlying tension between you, Nancy, and Jonathan, but it’s enough.

Plus, it’s useful having Steve around whenever Jonathan and Nancy slip off into their own world. It’s become inevitable, something you’ve come to accept, but at least you can turn to Steve now and roll your eyes together.

It’s really nice, actually.

He eases the sting of losing Jonathan, even if he doesn’t realize it. Makes everything more bearable.

Summer comes and you don’t see Nancy as often, but Steve makes sure to visit your job whenever possible.

One day he comes in looking nervous and doesn’t do his usual greeting. He doesn’t wave, doesn’t flash you his signature smile, he just walks straight towards the counter with a frightened look on his face. “I need your help.”

You put the book you’d been reading down and immediately feel dread overwhelming you. Something is happening again, all those contracts you had to sign by Hawkins Lab are coming back to bite you in the ass. Will is in danger again. “Is everything okay?”

He must see the terrified look in your eyes and he quickly reassures you. “Oh, no it’s nothing serious, I just… I need your help with something.”

“Holy fuck,” you let out a breath, feeling your heartbeat start to return to normal. “Dude, after the whole monster fiasco, can we use some discretion when it comes to asking for help?”

“Right, sorry.”

“It’s fine… So, what’s up?”

Steve looks around the store to ensure no one is listening, which you find a bit odd, but whatever. He leans in close and whispers, “I need your help finding a gift for Nancy.”

“A gift?”

“Yeah. It’ll be six months with her soon and I just, I don’t know. I want to be a good boyfriend and get her something she’ll like. But I don’t know what she’d like, I’m the worst gift giver ever.”

You frown. “That’s not true. The poster you got me is hanging in my room as we speak.”

“Thanks, Y/N. But Nancy is different, she’s… She’s still really shaken up about Barb and I want to make it up to her. Cheer her up, ya know?” Steve fiddles with his sunglasses, you’ve never seen him so closed off and guarded before.

“Okay, well. What did you have in mind?”

“Something she’ll love.” Steve thinks for a moment. “A diamond necklace, maybe?”

“Okay, woah.” You put your hand up to slow down Steve’s frantic ideas. “I know you mean well, but Nancy is like. Pretty well off. She can afford her own diamond necklace, but besides that, she’s not a very materialistic girl. She wouldn’t like a necklace.”

Steve sighs. “You’re right. That’s um, actually why I’m here.”

“Oh?” You’re intrigued now.

“Nance has been going on and on about this news article that came out recently. Something about politics, or maybe the weather?” You stare at Steve, urging him to get to the point. “Sorry, doesn’t matter. Okay, basically I know she likes journalism. And you work at a bookstore, so…”

“You want to get her some books on journalism?” You ask, your heart clenching. Here’s this guy, Steve fucking Harrington, who is gorgeous and kind and shyly asking you for book advice for a girl he so dearly loves.

Somehow you envy Nancy Wheeler even more than you already do. She really does have it all, and you can’t even begrudge her for it. She’s genuinely a nice person, it’d be easier to hate her if she was horrible, but she isn’t.

Typical.

“Is that dumb? Actually, you know what, now that I’m saying it out loud it sounds stupid–”

You grab Steve’s hand, interrupting him. “Hey, no. It’s actually a really sweet idea. I think… I think she’ll really love it.”

Steve looks relieved and you can’t help but pity him. He’s trying so hard to be better for Nancy, to be all she wants him to be, and yet just yesterday you had to break up a weird staring contest between Nancy and Jonathan when you’d been at her place picking up Will and Dustin.

Your heart aches for this boy, so in love with a girl you’re afraid may love your best friend.

You guide Steve over to the journalistic section of Bookstrordinary and tell him some of your personal favorites. It’s not your favorite genre, but you’re familiar enough with it to give Steve a good starting point, which he’s immensely grateful for.

“You’re a lifesaver, Y/N.”

“What can I say? It’s a talent of mine.”

Steve starts to search through the books and you leave him alone to get back to work. It’s a slow day today, the mid July heat seemingly keeping everyone at home, so you spend most of your time watching Steve. He meticulously goes through each and every book, spending almost three hours reading their synopses over and over again to ensure that he finds Nancy the best book.

Occasionally he mumbles to himself, shaking his head when a book doesn’t fit quite right with what he has in mind, or exclaiming with glee when he finds the perfect one. Slowly he accumulates his own little pile of books before he brings them over to you.

He places the stack on your counter with a proud smile on his face. “I’ll take these, please.”

You whistle at the pile. “Think it’ll be enough?”

“Do you think I need more?” Steve asks, fear in his voice.

“I’m kidding, Steve. This is more than enough; it’s perfect.”

You start ringing the books up and Steve leans against the counter, back into his usual stance at your job. The price racks up quickly, but you’re sure it’s no problem for someone like Steve. In total he’s selected six books for Nancy, and with each book you scan you feel more tugging at your heart.

He deserves better, but he wouldn’t listen to you if you told him.

“Thanks again, by the way.” Steve breaks the silence.

“For what?”

“For helping me. You’ve always been so patient with me, well–I don’t know. It’s nice.” Steve rubs the back of his neck, sheepish.

You find yourself blushing as well, his words making you uneasy as always. “It’s nothing, Steve. We’re friends, what else am I supposed to do?”

“Well, I’ve never really had any friends before. I’m still new to this.” He confesses, looking away.

Again your heart aches for the boy. Here King Steve is, admitting to you that he’s never really had any friends before. You can’t imagine what that must be like, being so loved by a crowd of admirers yet isolated because of it.

You think about Tommy Hagan, Carol Perkins, and the various people who seemed to flow in and out of Steve’s inner circle of friends. The numerous girls he never stayed with for long, the boys who only used him for his popularity, you never considered how exhausting that all must’ve been. Surrounded by all, yet loved by none.

Hell, even with Nancy, Steve has confessed to you that he feels like he’s too much for her sometimes.

“You’re a great friend, Steve.” You reassure him, trying to keep your voice level. You know that any hint of pity will only make him feel lesser than, but you really wish you could make him believe you. Steve Harrington has somehow become your favorite person to be around. “I promise, you’re a natural when it comes to friendship.”

Steve smiles. “You think so?”

“I know so. In fact,” you finish ringing Steve up and deduct your employee discount from his total, dropping the price significantly. “I just gave you my employee discount because that’s what friends do and I know you’ll do the same for me one day. That is, if you ever get a job.”

He puts his hands in the air. “Hey, the way I see it: why get a job when I don’t need one?”

“Such wise words from a rich kid.”

“What if the rich kid offered to buy you dinner to repay you?” Steve’s tone is teasing, but there’s openness in his eyes that makes you freeze. He wants you to say yes, he’s almost pleading with you to accept his offer with those big brown eyes that make you want to scream.

You want to say yes, to accept his offer and go out to dinner with him and laugh and tease each other’s food choices and feel like the only two people to exist in Hawkins, but you can’t.

Steve is looking at you with a softness in his eyes that catches in the July afternoon light, and you see the shift. It’s subtle, but it’s there. He’s looking at you as if he’d do whatever you asked, without any hesitation, because he cares about you in a way that no one quite has before.

Sure, you’ve noticed it before through his actions, but seeing the deep fondness behind his eyes is something entirely different. You feel this flutter within your chest and you feel heat rise to your cheeks. He’s looking at you as if you’re holding the goddamn sun, and you can’t do it.

You can’t tell Steve yes.

He’s Nancy’s. So is Jonathan.

You can’t develop feelings for yet another guy that Nancy Wheeler has claimed for herself.

You don’t love Steve, but you know how easily you could fall for him. With him, everything is easier. Your laughs feel freer, your heart a little lighter. With Steve, it feels like you’re coming home after being away for so long. First uncertain of what you’ve left behind, but then so full of love once you’re embraced with open arms as if no time has passed.

It would be so easy falling in love with Steve.

That’s why you tell him no.

“I can’t.” You finally say. It takes everything within you to get the words out, as if your body is physically unable to break Steve Harrington’s heart. But you have to.

Steve’s smile drops. “Oh, alright.”

You wrap up the last of the books for Nancy, take the cash from Steve, and then inform him that you have a lot of work to do before closing. “You should leave.”

“Already?” He looks so hurt and you want to just kiss his cheek, whisper how lovely he is.

But he’s too lovely. Too selfless towards you. Too kind and charismatic and easygoing.

He’s too much for you, but not in the way that plagues him with fear of rejection.

He’s too much for you because of how easily you could embrace him entirely, how willing you are to make room for him even if you already know there’s plenty of space for him regardless.

“Yeah,” you busy yourself with a meaningless pile of books. “Just go home, give Nancy those books.”

The words burn your tongue almost as much as your tears burn your eyes.

But you remind yourself of Jonathan, of how much it hurts to hear him say Nancy’s name like a prayer. How Steve describes her as if she’s the moon and he’s a lowly astronomer tasked with studying her.

You can’t keep putting yourself through this hurt.

It isn’t fair to yourself, and for once you need to be selfish.

Steve leaves, mumbling a soft goodbye, and you vow then and there to push him away. You’ve gotten too used to his company; you came too close to falling in love with yet another person who couldn’t possibly ever love you back.

So you limit your interactions with Steve.

You’re dismissive when he comes to your job the next day, then the next, and the next. He seems hurt at first, asking you if he’s done anything wrong, why you’re icing him out, but eventually after a few weeks he seems to let it go.

You’re thankful for that. For his ability to read you and understand that there’s something more, you just can’t tell him.

July turns to August and Steve stops coming by Bookstrordinary.

You go back to only spending time with the boys or Jonathan, rarely ever Nancy. You don’t see much of Steve, and sometimes it feels like last November never happened. Like he never came into your life and flipped it completely upside down. The only reminder that it had been real is the poster that hangs on your wall, taunting you for your cowardice.

Jonathan notices your change in demeanor, missing Steve more than you thought you would, but you make up some lie and change the topic. You know it’s for the better. It has to be for the better. And yet it feels like you’ve just lost something incredible. Something that could’ve been everything, an almost that you’ll never quite understand.

But you refuse to fall in love with Steve Harrington.

⌑ series masterlist

⌑ if you would like to be added/removed from my taglist, just let me know :)

taglist: @siriuslysmoking @sheisjoeschateau @myeclispedsun @innercreationflower @juhdoche @frostandflamesfanfic @goosy-goose @quinnsadilla @munsons-queen @stefansring @babylovesteve @bex22109 @rice-elephant

#steve harrington x henderson!reader #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #stranger things #steve harrington fanfic #stranger things rewrite #slowburn #angst #wdtai #m's writing #steve just wants love #n reader just wants to feel normal and okay again #ugh #wrong time for my babys

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munsooooon · 5 months ago

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gave you the gun, blow me away.

Warning: english is not my first language, so feel free to let me know if any mistake. im getting used to write in english.

The music felt slow and soft even though it was loud music, it seemed like someone at some point had intentionally lowered the volume of the music, at that time it was a purely ambient element, which was in the background as if it were the vibe that was maintaining together with everyone who was in the place because at that point in the party everyone was doing their own thing, there were very drunk boys and girls scattered all over the place, some passed out, some kissing, and some others having conversations that made no sense whatsoever.

Eddie and Steve were no exception.

Steve was sitting on the side of the pool, on his lap, trying to create a face on a huge pumpkin that Eddie had no idea where he got. They had drunk a lot, danced a lot more and they had held hands throughout the party so as not to get lost in the enormous wave of people that surrounded them. Eddie smiled because of the beautiful man he was watching and because it was incredible that a few years ago they had fought against an indescribable underworld, at that point in their lives it seemed like something they had collectively hallucinated and not something real.

‘’Hey Steve.’’

‘’Hmm?’’ Steve exclaimed without leaving his pumpkin aside.

‘’It's almost 5 in the morning’’

‘’Mmm, I don't have the energy to go home.’’

‘’We can take a taxi.’’

Steve didn't answer for a few seconds, he was quite focused on fitting the knife into the eye of the pumpkin.

‘’Look!’’ Steve drawled. ‘’it's like the Hellfire logo’’

Eddie smiled because Steve still remembered Hellfire, of course he still played D&D especially with the kids (who weren't kids anymore) and the gang, but they had stopped calling each other Hellfire, they were just friends playing.

‘’Very metal, darling.’’

Steve wasn't looking at Eddie, but he looked incredibly pleased with the other boy's response. Eddie smiled because damn, he loved him too much. He looked at him for a few seconds and then moved until he invaded Steve's personal space, who didn't care at all, he simply smiled and continued focused on his task.

‘’Let's go home, Stevie.’’ Eddie whispered with his face hidden in Steve's neck.

"Don't be an old man, Dee."

Eddie pulled away and looked at him with amusement, moving closer until their faces were facing each other a few millimeters apart.

‘’Stop behaving like a rich, spoiled child.’’

Steve bit Eddie's shoulder, laughing pleased.

‘’Let's find a room to sleep, wherever we are is my home, if you are there.’’

Eddie felt his eyes shine when he heard Steve's words, his breath caught for a few seconds. He was crazy about him.

Steve smiled and brushed his nose against Eddie's, because it was already decided, they would stay in a house that they had no idea who owned because they had arrived at that party thanks to Robin, who had already left with her girlfriend, at least three hours before. Steve continued perfecting his pumpkin, lost in his mind, they were silent for a long time because there was nothing more to say.

“It's starting to get light,” Eddie whispered while holding a cigarette.

Steve looked straight at the sky in silence with half-closed eyes, it was true, bright and light blue tones were beginning to appear, he yawned in response, it seemed that his body took it as a signal to start feeling tired. Eddie smiled as he saw him yawn.

‘’I'm very in love with you, Steve Harrington.’’

Steve smiled while still looking at the sky.

‘’I know, I'm in love with you too.’’

Eddie laughed softly.

‘’Is this how we finally decided to say it?’’

‘’Hmm.‘’ Steve exclaimed, pleased. ‘’There was no rush, love.’’

Eddie looked at him intently and curiously, Steve finally took his gaze off the sky and looked straight into Eddie's eyes.

‘’The day you came out of the Upside Down, when I carried you out and you opened your eyes for the first time, I realized I loved you and in those seconds we looked at each other I know we decided we would spend the rest of our lives together, we made a promise even if we didn't say it in words so there was no need to rush. There is no way we could exist without each other, that day you died and came back to life the universe proclaimed us as Steve and Eddie, Steve and Eddie together forever.’’

Eddie looked at him perplexed.

"You won't forget this when you're sober, promise me," Eddie whispered against Steve's lips.

"I'm not drunk, Eddie."

‘’Steve.’’

‘’I'm not going to forget this when I'm sober, I love you sober and not, Eds.’’

‘’Goooooood’’ Eddie smiled.

‘’Gooooooood’’

Eddie smiled and took Steve's hand, they got up and started, being careful not to step on anyone as they passed, because there were more and more kids who had fallen asleep on the floor, they avoided the trash and everything that their feet crossed. . Eddie felt like he could fly, everything around him felt liquid. They crossed the kitchen without letting go of their hands, when they reached the rooms they approached the first one to make sure they were not going to interrupt something, after a few seconds there they realized that it was empty, Steve took Eddie's hand and led them in. In the room, he made sure to lock the door, because they were being stupid to stay in a stranger's house but they weren't stupid enough to leave the door open.

Steve took off his sleeping clothes, leaving him in just his boxers, Eddie suddenly started to feel shy and froze when he tried to take off his shirt.

‘’Need help?’’

Eddie felt himself tremble for a few seconds, because he suddenly remembered those agonizing days in recovery after the Upside Down when he definitely needed help from Steve to be able to take off his clothes. He didn't know how, but he managed to shake his head, he decided to just take off his pants and leave his shirt on, suddenly he was feeling very aware of everything around him, every tone in the darkness, every flash of light that came through the curtains. closed, every bug that sounded outside, he felt his breathing labored, all that meant that he was very nervous.

Fortunately, Steve landed him, once he took him by the hand and led them to the bed, Steve surrounded Eddie with his body, as if he had to protect him, Eddie dropped his head on the other boy's chest, he used his heartbeat. of his heart that sounded loud against his ear to self-regulate.

To remind himself that he was okay, that he was loved.

‘’Be my boyfriend, Stevie, can I be your boyfriend?’’ Eddie whispered in a sweet voice

Eddie felt Steve's heart race, and without seeing him he could feel him smiling.

‘’I accept, I will always accept being whatever you want me to be, Eddie.’’

Eddie gave in to exhaustion and fell asleep, that whole moment felt like the closure of that horrible time in which he was fighting to live in the arms of his now boyfriend, now it felt like a distant dream. Steve stroked his hair, stuck his fingers in his messy curls, tangled and untangled them between his fingers, and placed kisses wherever he could reach. Life felt that light when you were in the arms of the right person.

On the afternoon they were traveling in the taxi back to his house when Steve kissed him surprisingly, for the first time in all those years and said:

‘’I remember everything.’’

#steddie #eddie munson #eddie munson x steve harrington #steve harrington #stranger things #deftones #inspired by the deftones change #steddie one shot #steddie ficlet

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basedkikuenjoyer · 2 months ago

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Mega Blocks

Heh, classic bit that shows this author has thought about the dynamics of living in a big Lego house. So we're going with this. Elbaf has a big Lego aesthetic and I for one like it. Classic One Piece, you tend to expect something of these forecast islands that's true but then they have another side. Not unlike Wano having a big theatrical motif when we finally got there. Adds a depth and charm to the environment beyond just a simple Vikingland arc.

One thing I gotta note before moving forward. We do largely continue to focus on Nami for the initial exploration and get some great fun with Zeus. That said...I don't know if Zeus explains the mystery voice who called out. Of course, with the rest of the chapter I could buy that was Chopper. Especially when we're going to focus so much on animal encounters he could have easily solved. Haven't really used Chopper's Dr. Doolittle side in a while but it is a skill he's always had. Also, don't skip the idea some of the locals mentioned a Sun God to report to...that has a lot of potential as this arc unfolds.

Especially when we still have this idea floating around. It's not the only time we bring up the possibility of the absinthe affecting what's going on. Obviously we see that the monsters are not simple illusions but I wouldn't discard this aspect just yet. Likewise with the scale seeming a little off for buildings meant for giants. There's also one really interesting thing about Chapter 1127 that makes me still want to think about stuff like this.

We have an "Adventure in the Land of _____" chapter. That's nothing new. We typically have one starting a new arc. This example is no different than most of its peers. Setting the scene. Light action. However...Adventure in the Land of Mystery? That's odd. I'd have expected something like "Giants" or "Vikings" or "War." We do seem to be in Elbaf, so what's with all the mystery? Still think we could have simple factions here on Elbaf. that works pretty well.

Anyways. The big cat-lion ends up being dealt with. Look at the Viking gang! I know Luffy loves that helmet and Captain Crackhead is out in full force eating all the giant animals he can. Which I'm just certain won't cause any problems with the locals who call them gods.

I'm down for seeing some more of this Lego village, if we go by the formula with everyone together we should probably see some issue crop up soon. But so far this has been a fun twist on the Elbaf we expected.

---

I do want to add one thing here at the end, and sadly despite it being my oeuvre I can't take credit. There are actually several interesting little inconsistencies in things like Nami's outfit sprinkled throughout this chapter. I don't want to track down all the little panels so I'll just link this Reddit thread collecting several of them and you can see for yourself. Like, people are talking about this independently. Errors happen, we bit on one here already tail end of Wano, but it is a lot paired with things like absinthe hallucinations and "Land of Mystery." So it's something we'll keep an eye on going forward.

#one piece #chapter 1127 #mysterious musings

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neteyummydrabbles · 2 years ago

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glistening drops of honey [part 2]

grace your eyes with part 1 here:

pairing: neteyam x fem human! reader warnings: cringe, language, sexual innuendo words: 342

"was i ever going to see those flickering amber lights again?"

my daze came to a halt when kobra's dumbass began screeching at the top of his lungs saying it was time- time to rail raid pandora, baby!

i parted ways with my love, my second half, my soulmate - the dong flower who i had nicknamed cocksucker69, and hurriedly scrambled back to the ship. kobra was standing there with his eyes twitching, teeth chattering - "WHERE THE BITCH AT???!!?"

"here daddy", i whispered timidly, a sheepish grin creeping onto my face. as i slipped on my gear and collected the ammo, i brushed away thoughts of the amber lights. there was no way i could stay hidden and focus on our mission if i was busy dreaming about that mysterious glint in the night.

the gang and i walked through the jungle, kobra and his boys wonderstruck at the scenery. the forest went on forever, endless sights - endless money to cure all our problems. my eyes were fixated on the quirky vegetation, desperate for another look at a dong. amongst the chitters of the lortsyal (na'vi bugs) and humming of the breeze, i heard a chuckle. nah, i was probably hallucinating.

or was i?

i heard it again, this time, followed by a - slap? was i really that horny? apparently not, because kobra and trystan were looking around frantically in hope of sighting the source. "SHOW YOURSELF, PUSSY!!!!!" they screamed. suddenly, the bushes were rustling. out emerged a long erect blue thing - cocksucker69 babygorl, is that you??!??

oh hell no, this cannot be happening already.

we were face-to-face (more like face-to-dick) with two armed na'vi. i should have been scared for my life, but i was hypnotised by those abs for a split second. "surprise, motherfuckers!" one uttered.

as my eyes trailed upwards, my heart stopped. there they were - those glistening drops of honey. gorgeous amber orbs, glimmering like the stars in the sky. his greek god-looking cheekbones, and beautiful skin dotted with glittering freckles entranced me.

who was he?

thanks for reading :D likes, reblogs and follows are greatly appreciated <3

more na'vi thirst traps here :

#neteyam x reader #neteyam #avatar #avatar way of water #atwow #loak sully #neteyam x human reader #neteyam x y/n #avatar the way of water #avatar imagine #forbidden love #avatar angst

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maineshewrote · 7 days ago

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I-just-started-s4e2-thoughts:

Usually, when bad stuff happens to characters, I think of it as either character-building or extremely unfair. In this case it's the latter. Poor sweet Charles is being put through more than a lot of people could handle here—not only did he lose a half-life-long friend to murder, not only is the question of whether or not he should have died instead going to be raised and make him feel guilty, but he also found said friend's remains and got them all over his hands. I felt like I was watching him hold on to a hand of someone who had just been blown to pieces. He did not deserve this trauma. (All of this being said, I applaud the writers for this bold and masterfully executed move (no pun intended) and Steve Martin for portraying this delicate, complicated situation so brilliantly.)

The dedication with which Charles collects the Sazz-water is just heart-breaking. The team accomplished a very interesting feat here—this clumsy business of spilling stuff and trying to save the situation in a tense moment is usually what comedies use for low-effort humour but here it's a genuine portrayal of love.

Dead-Sazz appearing made me feel so much lighter. Her witty humour turned the overall gloom just a degree back towards the light and the feeling of everything's-gonna-be-ok-'cause-Sazz-is-here is back.

Sazz and Lucy loved sitting on the same counter. That's a nice counter.

Why does Oliver think the killer had specific access to Charles's apartment? Firstly, remember the Arcatacombs? And secondly, Sazz came in for the wine and probably didn't lock the door, thinking she'd only be a minute, so the killer could have easily waltzed in later without necessarily owning a key.

I know Tim and Ben left Mabel after their cases were solved and it's not healthy to hang on to dead people to the point of hallucinating, but I'd actually like Dead-Sazz to stick around—in a comforting fun imaginary friend way.

But if they think Charles was the target and the killer is still out there, how is it going to be safe to bring Levy over to do character study?

I am fascinated by that sweet vintage-style envelope/bag that they brought Sazz's notes in. It's definitely just something Sazz owned for no other reason than it being pretty but if that turns out to be a clue that the gang recognize much later on, I am buying cake.

I have missed Oliver's fits.

I'm interested to see where Mabel will actually end up living, but so far all I can see are good fanfiction options: bunking with Oliver (as she is) and recovering their bond that was sort of damaged last season, also throwback to season 1 where the roles were reversed; bunking with Charles and supporting him through this tough time as someone who has also lost close friends to murder and spoken to dead people; (Loretta's apartment is supposedly free now but too far for convenient sleuthing;) and Theo, I rest my case.

No idea what a "Jon Hamm and the pan situation" means but all I can think of is naked archangel Gabriel with his cardboard box.

Ho, Jan in closet!

Aha! The Arcatacombs!

I'll be honest, Jan did not disappoint—just as delightfully, self-righteously, naturally deranged and owning it as ever, loyal and moving and unintentionally hilarious. I never liked her character much up to now on account of her being sort of annoying, but I have newfound respect for her for her loyalty and her down-to-earth attitude. Also it's lovely to see familiar characters.

"Parkour." Might be my favourite line from this episode.

Hold on! There's a ham radio at the Dudenoff place! Sazz said she heard chatter on her ham radio about people wishing Charles had died instead of Ben.

Abnormal amount of pigs in this show. Obviously, now there's toilet ham and the piglet at the Dudenoff place, but we also had Fucking Pig and the "adorable little piglet" Loretta & Oliver moment in s3.

Sazz and Charles's story is so moving. Too moving to put into few enough words that you would actually have time to read.

What a genious way to get Sazz's final message across! She couldn't very well have written Charles's name to indicate who the intended victim was because that could have been interpreted as Charles being the killer, so she came up with a short, meaningful, and clear message instead. Just beautiful!

So does the number being letters mean that the Oh Hell group are all using the Dudenoff? As, what, a place to grow a pig and turn it into ham? I don't think so.

Why is the pig in the end titles floating? It unnerves me. Stop.

#only murders in the building #omitb #omitb s4 #omitb theories #omitb spoilers #omitb season 4 #charles haden savage #oliver putnam #mabel mora #sazz pataki

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harlivycentral · 2 years ago

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Harley Quinn & Poison Ivy in Batman: Joker War - Summary & Excerpts (Part 1)

A continuation of my series of collecting summaries and excerpts of all the relevant comics leading up to the new solo run of Poison Ivy

The basic premise of "Joker War" is that Joker has gotten ahold of all of Batman's wealth and is using it to control the city. He's paid all the other gangs of Gotham to join him, and they're running around in clown masks terrorizing everyone in Gotham. Meanwhile, Batman's been doused with a new and improved joker toxin.

In Batman (2016) #96, Batman comes to, still dosed with the toxin. Harley found him and is filling him in on what's been going on/trying to give him an antidote and get him to get his shit together, but he's still hallucinating and runs away.

In Batman (2016) #97, Bruce makes his way to the movie theater where his parents were killed. Joker's bought it, fixed it up, and tells Batman about his plan to lure everyone in Gotham to the theater. He's offering $10,000 per person for them to come watch Zorro, the movie Batman saw the night his parents were killed. Then Joker is going to reveal Batman's origins and dose everyone in the theaters with his new toxin. Batman fights off the Joker's minions and stumbles out onto the street, still hallucinating, and Harley finds him.

In Batman (2016) #97, Joker and his new accomplice Punchline discuss Clownhunter, a new vigilante who's killing joker's minions. Joker then decides it's time to take out Harley. We cut to Harley & Batman.

Click here for part 2 of the Joker War arc

Click here for my master list of posts excerpting Harley & Ivy's cameos in various Batman comics leading up to the current Poison Ivy run

#harlivy #harley quinn #poison ivy #DC comics

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canmom · 1 year ago

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L'Aventure de Canmom à Annecy - Mercredi 2

Next thing for Wednesday: Mexican films, collection "urban and suburban". Mexican animation is the theme of this year's Annecy, which is why all the Gobelins intros are about Mexican stuff. As such there are a number of collections of Mexican animation. I don't think I'll be able to catch all of these, but I want to get a few because I know next to zero about Mexican animation!

So, Urban and Suburban: anything loosely related to cities. This was a pretty varied set for sure! It spanned quite a time frame, from 90s stop motion stuff that looked like it could have aired on Liquid Television to modern stuff using drone timelapses and such. A full three of the films centred on suicides.

Opening the collection we had La Ciudad, which lived somewhere between the UPA style and Cyriak, with a layered digital cutout animation style in three musical acts. I'm not sure I got all of what it was putting down, but the constant motion definitely grabbed me and locked me in.

Sin Sostén was our first suicide film, and the most liquid television in the whole set. Claymation, a businessman jumps off a building, and we see a vivid after death hallucination in which billboards come alive, and a cowboy catches him with a lasso and almost kills him. but in fact he dead rip

Made In Central de Abastos was pretty neat. Mostly it was timelapses from a drone flying backwards through food markets and warehouses, mixed with a bit of stop motion. Something that maybe brings to mind Koyaanisqatsi, but this took on a more chaotic effect.

Desde Adentro was interesting, it was animated by kids at some sort of institution called Reformatoire de Morelia, something like a homeless shelter I think? It was cutout animation depicting a variety of interleaved plots: two gangs of kids, variously stealing from narcos, fighting over money, and at one point skinheads getting involved. Felt kind of like a Fiasco session, or old school newgrounds. At the beginning and end were a few clips of the animators.

Mis multiples suicidios was, as the title suggests, another suicide film. Not a ton of story, but there was a revolving roto'd outline of a naked woman as sketchy figures moved slowly to the edge. Didn't really click with me I'll be honest...

Un día en familia depicts an injured boxer and his family taking a day at the zoo. I don't quite understand the ending of this film - he paid for his family to leave or something? I thought he was paying for a portrait and found myself kind of confused as the camera pulled back on the boxer alone.

Bestias Urbanas depicts a tiny man who sees a vision of cars on the street turning into animals. He is saved from disaster on the crossing by a centaur who shows up. I was briefly distracted in the middle of this one so i probably missed the key shots that make it fit together lol.

Última estación was a fun one in a thickly painted style that made me think of paint on glass. Passengers on a bus are kidnapped by a robot, taking them to a cyborgisation facility where they're turned into chicken brains vendors. The use of light on the nighttime dash across the city was really cool.

Liber was stop motion at a library using light, books, and then ultimately destructive stop motion animation by cutting the pages. Honestly, it didn't do a lot for me.

The Inksect was an example of a really cool visual style applied to a really dumb premise. It's a dystopian future where humans have turned into cockroaches because they don't read enough books, but some are trying to read and become human again. The dystopian city is rendered in a sick angular style and honestly I'd have liked this a lot more without the intro explaining it, even with heavy handed references to the statue of liberty and kafka.

Inventario Churubusco was stop motion using various bits and pieces around a film restoration lab. I was pretty worn out at this point, and honestly I'd be more interested to see how the machines work than stop motion of doors opening and closing lol

La niña del río was very brief. A girl leaves home to evade an arranged marriage, to become part of the river. I think the vo saying everyone can decide their fate regardless of station distracted me from like... this is another suicide one isn't it? fuck

Finally, El Héroe used a very detailed animation style that reminded me of John McCloskey. A man at a subway intervenes to try to stop a girl killing herself, but she calls the guards on him and kills herself regardless. Haha...?

It was a fun collection. Definitely not all hits but it was cool to see stuff I would never catch otherwise!

#l'aventure de canmom à annecy #pictures to be added later

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1ore · 1 year ago

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ough. everything happens so much and i barely have the processing power to talk about the men who live in my brain that aren't real. this is unacceptable. how is a woman to work under these conditions.

byuuillggghhh i make an effort anyway.

yuri got his shit rocked in the mists. i still cant believe my dumb throwaway idea is canon. i dont think that man 'came back wrong' so much as he didn't come back at all. instead, an entity who has been transformed to the point of being unrecognizable (but still technically a continuation of the same person) came out of the mists. happy pride.

i think the sheer need to kick balthazar's ass is what brought him back. not just his own desire, but that of everyone and everything around him. he forms around the collective suffering and vacuous emptiness left behind in his wake, and while he DOES recover some memories on the way up, all of them are of conflict and war. which. has some implications for his sense of self and how he relates with literally everyone around him.

he is instinctively drawn to people with unresolved grief, righteous anger, or other wounds related to wartime. For a while, he's not really a person but a physical force that strongarms the cruel and powerful into paying their moral debts, whatever that means. (the Norn description of the six gods not as persons but as motive forces is bouncing around in my brain.)

inevitably this leads him back to his old gang as they converge on Kicking Balthazar's Ass. yuri is drawn to their hurt and remembers most of them from his time with the Pact, but only in broad strokes-- the great victories and terrible losses. he remembers almost nothing of their actual day-to-day relationships. he is vaguely compelled to learn more, but he doesn't know how to be anything but a shambling wraith. so. emotional intimacy doesn't come naturally. that, and everyone else just thinks they're hallucinating him out of grief.

idk if yuri even GETS to kill balthazar. i think it's fun if he's robbed of the chance to fulfill his purpose, and feels anchored to tyria out of this sense of unfinished business. my man is once again embodying the vacuous emptiness left behind by war.

right now, in the aftermath, he's kind of just orbiting people and trying to be helpful in his narrow, ominous, vaguely upsetting definition of being helpful. he remembers 'Commander Atropos' and 'Marshal Trahearne' well enough to hold a stilted conversation. The Lastborn is a puzzle to him, definitely knows that guy, definitely has The Long Shadow Of War hanging over him, but cannot for the life of him pin down why or from where. hasn't met his daughter the vinetooth yet, but when he does, she Will force those memories back into his miserable brain like a square cube into a circular hole. biting him and biting him and biting him and b

(Of all people the Lastborn is probably handling this the best. he's like oh we all have those days where we cannot continue to exist without annihilating everything that we were and everything that we could have been. you're not special. maybe if you eat some soup you'll calm down.)

something something trahearne finally getting to reciprocate the patience and kindness that yuri showed to him while he was in the pits of his psychic mordremoth prison. at first he's being dragged kicking and screaming into this but then he picks himself up and dusts himself off and 180's on it, just like his wild hunt. anyway that's all thanks for coming to my ted talk.

#the problem with video game journaling is journaling ):#yuri six-cants tag #guild wars 2 tag

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antiphotogenicfilmographer · 2 years ago

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tw zombies, cannabalism

the rancid smell of corpses lingered in the air, so omnipresent that no one in the crew knows what air smells like without it. how did the open skies smell on a sunny day? how did it smell when it rained? when the settled rain drops evaporated to the heavens as steam in a kettle? how did tea smell? how did tea taste? we've not experienced the joy of a morning tea in ages and you're beginning to wonder if such a thing ever existed in the first place. you were only reassured by its existence as we shared our opinions on our favorite teas and drinks, sitting against eachother like a can of sardines, up in the skylines of the city, where still the stench of decaying flesh surrounded us, reflecting on a subject we hardly remember as if we were sharing fever dreams. and maybe there is a small chance that tea was only ever a mass hallucination or a product of the mass hysteria leading up to these moments we live now. we pretend that we remember the taste of tea but you know the truth as much as i do. the only taste we remember is the bitterness and pungency of the blood coating our mouths right now. blood from dehydration and the chapping of our lips and skin and extremities, or maybe it's because of the corpses, maybe their blood eventually evaporated from the sun and situated in the air, catching itself in our lungs as we breathe.

but there is a last possibility that i fear, that i am in fact a zombie, a dead who killed and consumed an entire gang of survivors and through their collective life force, i regained my own, or maybe i would have collected life force over time, picking off strays from time to time. or maybe i ate a child. we've seen it before. the dead target them. it's something about their life force, one kids meal and a dead becomes an undead. kids are a delicacy. children have more years ahead of them, that's why, the more years you rob someone of, the more life you get for yourself. that's why the dead never eat the elderly, there's nothing of worth received from such a transaction, so granny and gramps tend to live peacefully among the dead and peacefully fade into oblivion when their natural lives come to an end. we spot one now as we stare down the height of this gothic building. that's someone's grandpa, someone who might be dead, someone who's child is almost surely dead. and i wonder again about myself. it's possible i'm undead, but i do think that the blood in my mouth is my own, i truly believe that, i have to believe that, i don't know what i would do if that- you're looking at me and i regret what i was about to think. through your eyes i see your love for me, i feel our passion, and. i have to break eye contact. everytime i try to think of our love when i look at you, but i can’t possibly keep that up for more than five seconds, because within six the images begin to flood my mind again. you, dead. someone's child, alive. then you, undead. that child, dead. my neck twitches as i try to cringe away from the painful memory and you, knowing something was wrong, hold my hand in your left and rub some of the dirt or dried blood from my cheek with your right. i look into your icy, yet inviting eyes and lean forward into your embrace.

your hair feels nice in my hands, but i can’t help thinking about the taste of blood in my mouth so i pull gently on your hair to see your face again. i let go, letting our lips meet and i hope desperately that somehow your mouth tastes of something besides blood. as we kiss, there's the blood taste on my tongue but i can't help but want more, because at least it's different blood, at least it's different. you're different. when we stop, i say, half miserably: tastes like blood.

"what? you mean i don't taste like tea?" you jest.

"mh, how would we know that tea doesn't taste like this?"

"i guess we can't know. we can only hope"

you giggle and i love you so much, though i find myself mumbling,"i wonder what their favorite tea was".

you hear and respond so nonchalantly, "they were just a kid. there was no way they would have known what tea was. it didn't even exist when they were born. you and i need to face it, we're old now".

despite the internal conscious deep in my mind muttering it's repeated guilt of not stopping you, of encouraging you, we speak so freely of the incident, of when you died, of when you were dead. of when you weren't anymore.

i might not know what i am, but i know what you are. you are undead. now i just want to ensure that you aren't, assure you that you aren't unloved.

but it's hard, yet so easy.

"yeah, we're almost as dead as granny"

your giggle this time is mixed with a sob. and instinctually i hold you to me, but you break my hold quickly to give me another kiss. this time it's not just blood i taste, but the saltiness of those tears running down your cheeks onto our lips and into our mouths.

i mumble, " maybe it's not the taste of tea, but it is the taste of love."

so it is with the air. the smell of decay. the smell of blood, fresh or otherwise, the smell of fear. at this point, it all constitutes the smell of love.

because we are here and we love. everything we experience, everything we do, everything we are is love. this is love. we are love.

Whenever a zombie successfully eats a human brain they become a little more alive. The most dangerous zombies are all but indistinguishable from survivors.

#writers #writers on tumblr #writing prompts #writeblr #leftandwrite #zombies #long post

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albaedhoe · 4 years ago

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endearments

pairing : albedo x gn!reader

summary : having known albedo since forever ago, of course you have silly endearments for him.

word count : 2.2k

what you call him:

(My) Prince

Is the first and the most used nickname you’ve given him! When he was given the title “Kreideprinz”, you had started to call him Prince to make fun of him for it. You swear you call him Prince more than his actual name- it bugged Albedo at first but he eventually warmed up to it

“Prince! Master says that we need to collect slime condensate!” You yell while running to Albedo, who was busy carefully adding droplets of a solution into a flask. Although, due to your sudden outburst, his concentration was ruined and he squeezed the pipette too harshly. The concoction turns from a light blue to a harsh red, the familiar smell of smoke filling the air around you and slight sparks in the flask, but Albedo was too fascinated by the reaction that he didn’t notice.

“Watch out!” Grabbing the glass from Albedo’s hand, you threw it as far away as you could. “What-” Albedo was still confused. Pulling him to your chest and swivelling so that your back faced the direction where you threw the bottle, an explosion erupted and the ground rumbles. Once deemed safe, you let him go.

“I’m sorry that I ruined your experiment but next time, please don’t hold onto the after product of my accident when it clearly gave out sparks and the smell of smoke, my Prince.” You could see Albedo pout the tiniest bit at your tone while he looks away, “Fine, and I thought I told you not to call me Prince.”

Eyes filled with mischief and a soft smile gracing your lips, you were lucky he wasn’t facing you. ‘He didn’t deny that he was mine...’ you thought.

When you and Albedo had been sent to Mond through recommendation by your master, - Albedo being assigned as Chief Alchemist and Captian of the Investigation Team; While you were his assistant and second in command - everyone had first thought that he was an actual Prince. I mean, he had the looks and this regal aura around him so it wouldn’t be surprising if he was one. After many misunderstandings and explanations, the people of Mondstat eventually grow accustomed of your nickname towards the genius.

“Psst, do you reckon they’re staring at us because we’re not from here?” Walking side by side with Albedo, you tried to ignore the curious stares you received from some of the citizens as you climbed the stairs leading to the knights of Favonius headquarters. Some stared openly, some didn’t give you a glance and minded their business.

Not looking up from his newly bought book, Albedo mutters something only you could hear. “Maybe it’s because you yelled ‘what do you want me to cook for dinner, my Prince?’ at the gates.” You think about it for a bit but couldn’t understand what your lover was implying. Albedo snorts slightly, despite you being the same level of knowledge as him when regarding alchemy, you were very oblivious. “Since there is no patriarchy in mondstat, they would be curious if a so called ‘Prince’ were to enter their city.”

A light went off in your head. “Oh! That makes sense, I guess.”

It didn’t matter how serious the situation is or who is around the two of you. It didn’t even matter if Albedo was there at all! You would still refer to him as the nickname and the knights of Favonius (mainly Kaeya) would tease him about it if you weren’t around. The first time you called Albedo ‘Prince’ infront of Kaeya wasn’t eventful but still had an impact on the said alchemist;

“I’ll be at the giant tree in Windrise if you need me, Prince!” You wave goodbye to your partner. “Prince, huh? How cute. Would you like me to call you ‘Prince’ too?” Kaeya teases Albedo as he watches you leave the meeting room. Sorting the numerous transfer documents in his hand, Albedo says nothing but releases a small sigh, “I’d prefer it if Y/n were the only one that does, Captain Kaeya.” Silence fills the room.

Slowly realising what he had just said, Albedo walks away from the knight and to his new lab. Closing the door behind him, he makes sure that no one else is around, sensing if there were any footsteps heading towards his study. Once the coast was clear, Albedo’s gloved fingers card through his hair. Though parts of his ears were hidden among the loose hairs that escaped his braids, it was obvious that the tips were just as rosy as his cheeks. “I told you not to call me that infront of others...”

Starlight

This nickname originated when you paid close attention to the star-like marking on his neck. Though it was slightly unusual, you thought of it as charming and it complimented his outfits very well. Not many people have said this to him before so he doesn’t know how to respond to you.

You would call Albedo ‘Starlight’ when he would be in the state of insecurity and/or doubt. Pulling him aside to another room or a secluded part of a room, you would whisper reassurances and hold his hands or cradle his face. Never will you call him Starlight infront of others, it’s your own secret nickname for him that you would rather people not know about. You call him Starlight to remind him that he is the brightest and most serene person you have met on this earth. To Albedo, it’s comforting and he thanks you for thinking this way of him.

“Starlight, hey, look at me,” you cooed. Albedo looked forward but not at you, softly placing the palms of your hands on his face, you gently forced him to look into your worried eyes. His own no longer held that mesmerising shine and were instead dull and fatigued. “I’m here now. I’m fine. I didn’t leave you.”

One month prior to this scene, you had travelled to parts of Liyue in order to collect ores and minerals for Albedo’s new experiment hypothesis, so being his assistant, you went for him. Promising him that it’ll only take a week, what you didn’t expect was to be ganged up on and ambushed by treasure hoarders, multiple times.

Thankfully, you’re a vision user, meaning that you could easily take down these bandits, but there’s only so much a person can use their powers. Exhausted, battered scathed in multiple places, you decided to rest in Liyue Harbour for a couple of more days. You haven’t even collected half the materials needed for Albedo! You couldn’t just go back to Mondstat almost empty handed. You injuries won’t heal immediately so that means collection time will be much slower than normal, not to mention you have to be cautious travelling back as well.

When finally arriving at your shared home, it was a literal dump. Papers were scattered across the floor and the dishes were piling up. You partner wasn’t home at the moment so you decide to make use of your time and clean the house. Hours pass by and the door creaks open, Albedo walks in. He notices that the house is much more clean than the state he last left it in, his guard is up. That is, until you walk out from the kitchen, sleeves rolled up with a wooden spoon at hand.

“Welcome back!” Albedo’s eyes must be tricking him again. He wouldn’t be surpised since he hasn’t had proper rest since your departure, only ever taking two or three hour naps on occasion. He pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut, hoping the ‘hallucination’ of you would disappear, but you didn’t. Brows furrowed and plenty of blinking, Albedo concludes that you are, in fact, real.

He slowly makes his way over to you, trapping you in his hold. Burying his face between your neck and shoulder, Albedo relishes in your presence and scent. He wasn’t aware that he was trembling, all of his exhaustion and constant state of insecurities finally catching up to him, until you cupped his face, which leads to now.

You would also sometimes call him Starlight to express worry. To maintain his serenity, he needs to look after himself, of course . Times like these are usually when he doesn’t come out of his study for the whole day. This means he most likely hasn’t eaten or drank anything during this period. You would occasionally pop in with a meal and force him to take a break. Albedo gets slightly irritated at the interruption but he knows you mean well in the long run.

During these breaks he would ask about your day, have you been working on a new experiment of your own or have you found anything that may prove useful in the future, all of that. You happily answer all of his questions, asking some of your own too.

Knock, knock. “Come in.” Opening the door to Albedo’s laboratory you balance two plates, one in the palm of your left hand and the other resting on your forearm. “Sorry to interrupt, but you haven’t left your study all day, Starlight.” Albedo catches onto the use of the nickname, so, having no desire to start a fight between the two of you, he pushes aside unnecessary books off of his desk to make room.

Knowing that Albedo’s appetite was small, you made only a few slices of meat on his dish with a selection of vegetables. The other plate in your grasp had a stack of cookies, freshly made from the comfort of your own home. You hear Albedo mutter a small thanks and started to dig into the food you brought him. While he focused on eating, you focused on him.

The afternoon light that penetrated through the window and lit the room had beautifully graced Albedo with its rays. Golden hour seems to favour the young alchemist as it kisses his skin gently. You watched as his light, ashy, blonde hair frames his face, a few loose strands escaping the braid you put up for him this morning before work. Comfortable silence fills the room except for the scraping of utensils.

Albedo wasn’t sure if he should bring up the way you looked at him in times like these. Your irises were filled with so much affection and love, he could almost see his reflection of how brightly your eyes shone at him. Though, Albedo keeps quiet. Afraid that you may become shy and refuse to look at him. He rather enjoys being the centre of your attention.

bonus ::

what he calls you:

Häschen = bunny

Albedo will only ever call you this if he wants something, such as: to see you blush or simply because he’s in a teasing mood. I’d say the endearment formed because you look or act cute to him. The first time he’d call you Häschen would be a complete accident.

While Albedo was sorting and writing documents about his new found discovery, you were lazing around on the sofa, in your back with arms raised, reading a rather interesting book. To his dismay, Albedo’s ink pot, after hours of torture, was beginning to run out. Not looking up from his papers, Albedo didn’t want his concentration and motivation to deplete if he got up. “Could you get me another ink pot, Häschen?” Albedo asks you politely, unaware of what he just said.

A loud thud bounces off the walls and enters the alchemist’s ears. Glancing at you rather than the book on the floor, he sees crimson flare across your cheeks and the tips of your ears. Despite the slow throbbing coming from the bridge of your nose and forehead, you didn’t mind it all. Rather, the blood that rushed to your face masked it, making you only feel a radiating heat. “W-What did you call me?” Thinking back to what he said, Albedo soon matched the expression on your face.

Albedo takes advantage of the fact that the two of you were from a different part of Teyvat, where the language is different. He calls you Häschen infront of others on purpose to watch your reaction, while the others around you don’t understand what it means.

“Sorry to cut the conversation short but Häschen and I need to head out to Dragonspine while the sun is still up.” Your eyes almost bulge out of their sockets as you whip your head to face Albedo in a double take, giving him a look. If you looked close enough, you could see the mischievous and knowing glint in Albedos eyes. Trying your best not to show your growing blush, you feign interest towards the floor.

“Häschen?” Jean, the acting grand master, asks out loud what everyone else in the room were thinking. Silently pleading to yourself that Albedo won’t say anything about it, sweat rolled down your temple. “Ah, it’s Y/n’s other name. I say it out of habit sometimes.” Albedo couldn’t hide the teasing tone in his voice from anybody at this point. Having enough, you grasp the fabric over Albedo’s elbow and began to drag him out of Jean’s office. “Alrighty, guess we better head off now. Bye, everyone.”

Making sure that nobody was in earshot, you scolded your lover, letting go of his coat and stopped walking to face him. “I thought I asked you to stop calling me that infron of everyone.” Albedo raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms, “will you stop calling me ‘Prince’?” Exaggerating a gasp, you clutched the area over your heart, faking hurt. “Now, why in The Seven would I do that?” Albedo chuckles at you and ruffles the top of your head. “Exactly,” he tuts.

a/n :: apologies if there was a mistranslation with Häschen, I used google translate-

I am also aware that Mondstat is based on Germany but lets ignore that as well-

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #x reader #albedo x reader #albedo #can you tell how much I love this guy #like-#this is so much longer than my Zhongli one-

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lands-of-fantasy · 4 years ago

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Supernatural Characters Episode Count

I’ve been collecting and organizing some data on character appearances and decided to put together a chart! Here’s the Top 10 Characters with Highest Episode Count in the entire series run:

In percentage:

Sam and Dean Winchester (100%)

Castiel (42,51%)*

Crowley (21,10%)

Bobby Singer (18,04%)*

Lucifer (All Vessels) (12,54%)

Mary Winchester (11,62%)*

Jack Kline (11,01%)*

Rowena MacLeod (10,09%)

Arthur Ketch (6,12%)

Chuck Shurley (5,81%)

There’s also a cast post since some actors played 2 characters and some characters were played by 2 (or more) actors, which changes some numbers!

Notes on count criteria + Top 15 below the cut!

Check out the companion post here: [x]

I really tried to make the count accurate by using different sources to get the numbers right, so I hope I didn’t miss anything. There is however a subjectiveness here because there’s some stuff I didn’t include in the tally (mostly about possession and short voice-only appearances), so I’ll get to that.

Sam and Dean are, of course, in all 327 episodes - well technically Dean is absent from 1 because he was there but was possessed the whole time, with no trace of himself to see... but I counted that in too because I didn’t want to split the bros :P

However I did cut other characters’ episodes in which they were fully possessed by other entities: 4 for Castiel and 3 for Jack (not like that changes much for Cass’ numbers but it does affect Jack’s position). To be fair I also cut that 1 episode in which Eve uses Mary’s appearance since she didn’t even pretend to be Mary, she only used her image (though I nearly included that anyway because back then it was very rare for Mary to appear at all, real or not, so merely seeing her was already a big deal). I did however include other visions because even if not real, they were supposed to be Mary.

Bobby’s tally does not include Alternate Bobby’s appearances since that’s a different character. If you add them up, he’s in equal footing with Crowley.

I cut down a few of Lucifer’s episodes for when there isn’t an actor playing him or when he speaks through someone else - but he wouldn’t reach Bobby anyway. Again, I did include hallucinations!

Jody Mills almost made it but I didn’t count stuff like minimal voice appearances, so she lost 1 episode and ended up with 18, making her #11 (same reason for Castiel and Lucifer losing a couple of episodes too).

Here’s the Top 15 sans Sam, Dean and Cass for better visualization:

11. Jody Mills (5,50%) 12. Ruby, Kevin Tran* (5,20%) 13. John Winchester*, Metatron, Amara, Billie (4,59%) 14. Meg, Gadreel (3,67%) 15. Gabriel, Lisa Braeden, A.W. Michael (3,36%)

Like with Bobby, Kevin’s position does not account for Alternate Kevin’s appearances (2 total)

For John I didn’t include the voicemail in season 1 nor the fake phone call from season 3, but I did count the fake vision from season 11 and the kid appearance in season 8...

Oh, regarding A.W. Michael, I cut the episodes where all we saw was him trapped. I noticed the only reason he and Gadreel got this far was because they possessed the boys.

#16 is Apocalypse World Bobby with 10 episodes (3,06%)!

It’s crazy how little most characters appear, some are SO iconic that I forget they were actually barely in the show! Getting to be in 10 episodes is a goddamn miracle in this series even though it was so long! No wonder the schedule was so demanding on J2...

Overtime the series clearly made more side characters more recurring, which is how the rank ended up like this - although sadly that didn’t always meant they used that time to properly explore the characters...... I was surprised by a lot of numbers, and felt like I got hard proof that some characters appeared too much/little for my tastes... I wish at least the Roadhouse gang and Rufus had high numbers! But anyway... These are the results.

<<Check the Cast Ranking here: [x]! >>

<<Check what the ranking looked like by the end of Season 11: [x]!>>

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inevitably-johnlocked · 3 years ago

Note

heeeey any insecure!john?

Hi Nonny!

Ahhhh, you know I’ve collected fics over the years but I’ve mixed them up with the Sherlock ones, so I think I’ll start anew and start fresh! I know I’ve missed a lot when I pulled them out of the old lists, so forgive me! Hope you enjoy what I’ve got here for you!

As always, Lovelies, please add your insecure John fics!!

INSECURE JOHN

See also:

BAMF! But Insecure John

Insecure / Awkward John or Sherlock (Jan 2019)

Concussions And Good Old Fashioned Awkwardness by Belldere (K+, 894 w. || Humour, Hospitals, Mild John Whump, Misunderstandings, Platonic Relationship, Concussions, Not-Gay John, Possessive Sherlock) – When John lands himself in hospital... again, all he wants is to just get out of there as soon as possible, too bad his doctor has other ideas about where John may be getting his injuries. Good thing concussions make everything strangely funnier.

I Was Wrong by AllesandraQuartermaine (K, 1,496 w., 1 Ch. || TGG AU, Friendship, Hospitalization / Injury, John’s Self Esteem, Sleepy Sherlock) – Sherlock and John have a conversation a few days after the pool face off with Moriarty. And John hears something quite surprising.

Hell or High water by bluefire301175 (E, 2,250 w., 1 Ch. || PWP, Frottage, Alley Sex, First Person POV John, Case-ish Fic, Mutual Pining, Bed Sharing) – John wants. Sherlock wants. Plain and simple.

Not My Proudest Moment by charlock221 (K, 2,695 w., 1 Ch. || Lunar New Year, Mild PTSD / Panic Attack, Coping Mechanisms, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort) – John tries his best not to get in the way of Sherlock's cases, but when the vivid noises of fireworks unnerve his senses and begin to bring back unwanted memories of Afghanistan, he cannot help but to hope Sherlock will notice and help him before things go too far.

Closeted by Sexxica (E, 2,762 w., 1 Ch. || Trapped in a Closet, Panicking Sherlock, Hand Jobs, Coming in Pants, Awkward Conversations, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Fluffy Ending) – An improvised hiding spot and a bit of accidental voyeurism leave John and Sherlock in an awkward position.

The General Idea by agirlsname (T, 3,022 w., 1 Ch. || Retirement, Promise of Forever / Proposal, POV John, First Kiss, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Soft Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Crying / Emotional Sherlock, Love Confessions) – After twenty years of friendship, John is used to Sherlock acting weirdly. But the news Sherlock finally brings himself to deliver change the carefully built dynamics between them, and John realises it's time to act.

Paranoia by Ewebie (M, 3,789 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Drinking Games, Scotland Yard Gang, Jealous / Possessive Sherlock, Inappropriate Questions, Embarrassed John, Matchmakers) – John and Sherlock join the gang of Scotland Yard for a night of drinking, and it gets a bit personal and revealing.

Coldness/Heat by agirlsname (E, 3,790 w., 1 Ch. || Cuddling & Snuggling, Body Heat, New Year’s Eve, PWP, Bedsharing, Frottage) – The inn is booked up on New Year's Eve. The train home is cancelled because of the snow. The only option is to sleep in the non-heated guest room of a client, and John and Sherlock are freezing. You know where this is going. Part 1 of New Year's Kiss

The Oolong Disaster by unicornpoe (T, 4,151 w., 1 Ch. || John’s Beard, Fluff, Humour, Frustrated Sherlock, John Takes Care of Sherlock, Case Fic-ish, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Possessive Sherlock) – John has a beard. Sherlock has a panic attack.

Afghanistan in Baskerville by Amaya Ramiel (K+, 4,357 w., 1 Ch. || THoB Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Drugged John, PTSD / Panic Attack, Hallucinations, Worried Sherlock, John’s Past, Friendship) – What if John hadn't seen the hound when Sherlock trapped him in the lab? What if instead, his very real nightmares of the war had materialized all around him? Trapped and drugged, John can't tell what's real and what's not. How will Sherlock react?

Overture by Kate_Lear (M, 4,435 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss / Time, Friends to Lovers, Angry John, Introspection, Dev. Rel., Embarrassed / Insecure Sherlock, Morning After, Bed Sharing, Cuddles / Limpet Sherlock) – A short snippet on how John and Sherlock might have got together.

What You Are Worth by Lastew (T, 4,488 w., 1 Ch. || Observant but Insecure John, Friendship, Crime / Case Fic) – John helps Sherlock with a case, but he questions his real value to Sherlock.

Let Down by Gandalf3213 (K+, 4,505 w., 2 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, John Whump, Insecure John) – John truly is sorry for letting Sherlock down. The only thing he wanted to do was finish the case, but bleeding out in a dark alley makes it harder for him to pursue that murderer running out of sight.

Sherlock and John Go Clubbing by wendymarlowe (E, 4,716 w., 3 Ch. || Clubbing, Dirty Talk, Dancing, Coming Untouched, Coming in Pants, Bi John, For a Case, Friends to Lovers, Flirting, Sherlock is Lost for Words, Sexy John, Mutual Pining, Possessive John, Floor Sex/Hand Job/Frottage) – John pinched the bridge of his nose - even for Sherlock, this was a new level of no bloody boundaries. “You want me to go with you to a gay club, wait around twiddling my thumbs while I let you get pawed by a criminal, then out-flirt him and talk you into coming home with me instead?” Part 32 of John and Sherlock's Kinky First Times

Pillow Talk by scullyseviltwin (M, 5,183 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3, Angsty Fluff, Pillow Talk, Bed Sharing, Worried John, First Time Morning After, Soft Sherlock, Sexuality Discussion, Love Confessions, Kisses and Cuddles) – John has been looking at Sherlock for ages, it feels like.

Welcome Home, John by slashscribe (G, 5,504 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Awkwardness, Stabbed Sherlock, Protective Sherlock, Panic Attack (Sherlock), Self Esteem Issues, Love Confessions, First Kiss) – When John moves back to 221B, he thinks he’s the broken one, but after a while, it becomes clear that he might not be correct.

An Interpretation of Viewing Habits by akitsuko (E, 6,653 w., 1 Ch. || Porn Watching, Masturbation, Anal, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Declarations of Love, Jealous Sherlock, Fantasizing, John in Denial / Internalized Homophobia, Bottomlock, Pining Idiots, Sherlock Has No Boundaries, Cockblocking Sherlock) – John watches porn. It's a perfectly normal thing to do.If every video he watches happens to feature actors with remarkable physical similarities to his flatmate, well, that's no one's business but his own. Or: John is in denial, until his infatuation with Sherlock is impossible to deny anymore.

Inconvenient Timing by TheMadKatter13 (M, 7,072 w., 1 Ch. || Omegaverse || Omega John/Alpha Sherlock, Romance, Public Heat, Scared John, Protective / Worried / Possessive Sherlock, Post-TBB AU, Caring Sherlock, Pre-Slash, Happy Ending) – When John's heat failed to appear three times in a row after he was shot, he figured it was just another broken piece off the broken toy soldier. So he was rather surprised to feel it start out of the blue...and not at all pleased with it starting while he was on the tube.

Sometimes When We Touch by kedgeree (M, 7,755 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, First Kiss/Time, Inappropriate Giggling, Romance, Friends to Lovers, Virgin Sherlock, John Whump, Touching) – John might be touching Sherlock a little more often than is strictly necessary. Sherlock probably hasn't even noticed. Right...?

Victim, Bait, Hero, Friend by KimberlyTheOwl (T, 7,887 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG Epilogue, Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Past Kidnapping / Torture / Implied Rape, Panic Attacks, Worried / Possessive Sherlock, Lestrade is a Good Friend) – Some insights into why John was perfectly willing to throw everything away for a chance to kill Moriarty at the pool. Trauma, ugliness, and finally healing. Some nice supporting work by Lestrade as well.

Every Night I Look for You by destinationtoast (E, 8,377 w., 1 Ch. || POV John, Post-TRF, Angst, Mystery, Unsafe Sex, BAMF John) – Every night, John looks for familiar hints of Sherlock in the men he meets in bars, and he does with them all the things he wishes he’d done before. Eventually, he stumbles into a situation that Sherlock would know how to handle, and John must decide whether he can handle it without him.

Just Like That by sussexbound (E, 8,442 w., 1 Ch. || First Time/Kiss, Frottage, Virgin Sherlock, French Kissing, Anal, Emotional Lovemaking, Enthusiastic Consent, Tenderness, Crying John, Bathing/Washing, Insecure John, Toplock) – John doesn’t want to talk anymore. He wants. Oh dear god, how he wants. For the first time in what feels like years he WANTS.

Unwasted by patternofdefiance (E, 8,966 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3 / S3 Fix-It, Developing Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Angelo’s, Fluff, First Time, Anal, Cum Play, Flashbacks to ASiB, Mutual Pining, Love Confessions, Bottomlock, Cuddles, Multiple Orgasms, BJ’s, Bed Sharing) – John finds it three months after he's moved back. He's on the hunt for something to make for dinner, is scrounging through the cupboards, when he happens upon the graveyard of pasta boxes Sherlock still seems to create when left to his own devices. Behind seven boxes of pasta, all almost completely empty, is a dark-glassed bottle, with a paler coat of dust. It's unopened. John's face falls slack when he sees it, instantly recognises it, and for a long moment he just stands and looks at it.

Ravish Me by amalnahurriyeh (E, 10,025 w., 1 Ch. || UST / RST, Makeup / Lipstick, Sympathetic Sally, Experiments, Pining John, First Kiss, Face Fucking / BJ’s, Cuddling) – Sherlock is experimenting with patterns of wear on lipstick in daily encounters. John is going to go insane.

A Is For Aftermath by ElvendorkInfinity (T, 10,567 w., 1 Ch. || Injury / Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Pre-Slash/Bromance/Platonics, Hallucinations, Introspection, Insecure / Worried John, Big Brother Mycroft, Alternating POV, Anxious Sherlock, Self-Deprecating, Mildly Possessive Sherlock, 3G Moment) – John is still hallucinating, Sherlock cannot sleep, and Lestrade has a new case for them. But will life at 221B ever be able to return to normal? Epilogue to M is for Moriarty.

London Gods by a_different_equation (E, 11,092 w., 5 Ch. || American Gods Fusion || Magical Realism, Sex Magic, True Love, PTSD John, First Kiss/Time, Marathon Sex, Sensuality, Genie Sherlock, Human John, Internalized Homophobia, Star-Crossed Lovers, Soul Mates) – Sherlock Holmes is a jinn who does not grant wishes. However, when Dr. John H. Watson, recently returned from the war in Afghanistan, gets into his cab by "accident", it might not even need magic to grant both men their deepest wish: love.

On The Fence by BeautifulFiction (T, 13,770 w., 1 Ch. || Fencing, Case Fic, First Kiss, Insecure John, Pining John, Hug, Greg Finds Out) – The murder of the King's College fencing champion leads to revelations about Sherlock's past. Will it be the point that tips them from friends to lovers, or will they remain on the fence?

A Silver Sixpence by _doodle (NC-17, 16,400 w., 2 Ch. || LJ Fic || For a Case / Case Fic, Fake Relationship, Humour, Romance, Marriage Proposal, Awkward Idiots, Cuddling, Touching, Kissing, Love Confessions, Bed Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fake Until It’s Not, Schmoop and Fluff, Bottomlock) – “John, we need to get married. It’s for a case, not any romantic notions on my part pertaining to our partnership,” Sherlock said, with brutal honesty, and without even looking up.

Between Friends by SilentAuror (E, 18,036 w., 1 Ch. || Post S3, Alternating POV, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Abduction, Awkward Situations / Miscommunications, Porn With Feels, Blowjobs, Pining, Unrequited, Angst With Happy Ending) – Sherlock gets abducted. As John discovers him tied up naked in an empty storage facility and comes to rescue him, Sherlock's body has an unfortunate reaction which triggers a series of events. John is convinced that everything will be fine as long as they never discuss it. Sherlock isn't as sure...

Division by MrsNoggin (E, 19,542 w., 11 Ch. || Coffee Shop AU || First Kiss/Time, Fluff, Barista Sherlock, Clingy Sherlock, POV John, John’s Limp, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Sensuality, Touching, Virgin Sherlock, Insecure John) – John likes mysteries. And every morning he dips into the local independent coffee bar with his newspaper and ponders another... one Sherlock Holmes.

A Life Well-Lived by Kate_Lear (E, 20,121 w., 1 Ch. || Original Male Character, Sherlock Woos John, Jealous Sherlock, Reluctant Bi-John, Past Abuse, Insecure John, Reassuring / Caring Sherlock, Protective Sherlock, Understanding Sherlock) – John got scared off men by an abusive past relationship. Sherlock has to try and woo him while not scaring him off with protective possessive rage.

Maintaining A Personal Life by Gingerhermit (E, 24,284 w., 6 Ch. || Alternating POV’s, Bisexuality, BAMF!John, Jealous Sherlock, Romance / Drama, Sort-of Case Fic, Peril & Angst, Love Confessions, Toplock, Soft Idiots in Love, Post S3) – Sherlock and John discover some interesting revelations about each other’s sexuality, which lead them both to question the assumptions they've made about one another for years. In the midst of their mutual discoveries, a dangerous psychopath looms on the side-lines who threatens to destroy their new beginning.

Nothing to Make a Song About by emmagrant01 (E, 36,833 w., 10 Ch. || Post-TRF, First Time, Reunion, Jealous John, Pining Sherlock, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending, Sherlock Has a Boyfriend) – When Sherlock returned from his faked death, John could not forgive him for the deception and broke off their friendship. Ten years later, John returns to London in search of yet another new beginning. Sherlock, not surprisingly, is waiting.

Turn Left at the Park by Glenmore (NR (E), 37,409 w., 28 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting / ASiP Divergence, Case Fic, Depression, Suicidal Ideation, Loneliness, No Mary, Possessive Sherlock, Fluff & Angst, Nightmares/PTSD, Sherlock Saves John, Sherlock Whump-ish, Doctor John) – So what would have happened if John hadn't walked through the park and met Stamford? What if, instead, he walked around the park and just went home?

Only To Be With You by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (M, 40,768 w., 4 Ch. || Black Mirror / Future AU || Character Death, Future Technology, Sickness/Cancer/Illness, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending, First Person POV John, Pining John, Heart-Wrenching Angst) – I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black. I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...

Never Change a Running System by Lorelei_Lee (E, 54,246 w., 18 Ch. || Pre-TRF, Romance, Humour, Drama, Sex Toys, Anal, Rimming, Masturbation, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Public Sex, First Kiss / Time, Virgin Sherlock / Loss of Virginity, Accidental Voyeurism, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Experiments, Naive Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Straight With an Exception John, Hand Jobs) – Sherlock discovers his sexuality – with far-reaching consequences for John.

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w., 21 Ch. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate's nose buried in your hair. Whilst you're in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

One Little Change by jadztone (E, 58,312 w., 12 Ch. || ASiB Divergence, Fake Relationship, Bed Sharing, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bi John / Gay Demisexual Sherlock, Switchlock, Alternating POV, Jealousy, Misunderstandings, Case Fic, Angst with Happy Ending, Emotional Love Making, Butt Plugs, Cuddles) – Our story begins right after John and Sherlock's first meeting with Irene Adler in September. It splits off into an AU that imagines them taking a case where they act as bait to hook a killer targeting closeted gays in secret relationships. In the weeks leading up to Christmas, many things happen that have our boys wondering if maybe they have a chance with each other. Then Irene fakes her death on Christmas Eve, and things get a lot more complicated - especially since they still have a killer to catch.

Isosceles by SilentAuror (E, 56,609 w., 7 Ch. || Post-S4, POV John, Original Male Character / Sherlock Dates Another Man, Love Triangle, Jealous John, Virgin Sherlock, Sexual Coaching, Angst, Romance, Domesticity, Unrequited Feelings, Miscommunication, First Kiss/Time, For a Case, Friends With Benefits, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Spooning) – After solving a case for a major celebrity, Sherlock gets himself asked out. When John asks, he discovers that Sherlock has no intention of going, at least not until John agrees to coach him through whatever he might need to know for his date...

floating through a dark blue sky by Lediona (M, 58,966 w., 15 Ch. || Notting Hill AU || POV John, Celebrity Sherlock, First Date / Time / Kiss, Past Drug Addiction, Angst with a Happy Ending) – Of course, I’d seen his films and always thought he was, well, brilliant -- but, you know, a million miles from the world I live in. Or, when John is the owner of a travel book shop and the famous Sherlock Holmes stops in one day.

The Book of Silence by SilentAuror (E, 60,056 w., 2 Ch. || S4 Fix It / Post S4, Virgin Sherlock, Rosie / Parentlock, Domesticity, Fluff, Praise Kink, Sex Toys, First Person POV) – As spring blooms in London, John and Sherlock begin to take new cases and cautiously negotiate this new phase of life with John living at Baker Street again. Despite how well it's all going, John struggles to forgive himself for the way he treated Sherlock following Mary’s death as well as trying to figure out how to finally put his long-time feelings for Sherlock into words. Part 1 of The Book of Silence/Rosa Felicia

Scars by SilentAuror (E, 60,494 w., 5 Ch. || Rape / Non-Con / Abuse, Gaslighting, Manipulation, Dub Con Elements, Homophobia, Angst With Happy Ending, Mary is Not Nice) – S3 rewrite, showing Mary’s manipulation of John as he realizes his love for Sherlock. Mary is not having it.

The Bells of King's College by SilentAuror (E, 64,019 w., 5 Ch. || Post-S4, Missed Opportunities, Angst with Happy Ending, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, John POV, Jealous John, John in Denial, Travelling / Holidays, Virgin Sherlock, Wedding Proposals) – It's only been two weeks since Eurus Holmes disrupted their lives when Mycroft sends John and Sherlock to Cambridge to pose as an engaged couple at a wedding show in the hopes of solving six unsolved deaths...

White Knight by DiscordantWords (M, 69,840 w., 13 Ch. || S4 Compliant/Post S4, Marriage For a Case, Jealous John, Pining John, Janine / Sherlock Fake Relationship, Serial Killers, Case Fic, Undercover as a Couple, Weddings, John is a Mess, Misunderstandings, Wedding Planning, Jealousy, Drunkenness, Love Confessions, Angst with Happy Ending) – Green. The word green was used to convey a great many things. Illness. Envy. Inexperience. Standing there amidst Janine's chattering bridesmaids, watching Sherlock furrow his brow and study fabric swatches, watching him smile and simper and flirt, John thought it a remarkably apt colour choice. Because he felt quite sick to his stomach, he feared the source of said sickness might very well be jealousy, and he had absolutely no idea at all what to do about it. Or: Sherlock needs to fake a relationship for a case. He doesn't ask John.

Just To Hold You Close by sussexbound (E, 70,841 w., 18 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Sherlock POV, ASD Sherlock, PTSD John, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Cuddling/Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Enthusiastic Consent, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Sexual Tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddle Negotiations, For a Case Until It Isn’t, Hair Petting, Sexual Negotiation, Anxiety, Trust Issues, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Hand/Blow Jobs, Referenced Self Harm / Abuse / Suicidal Ideation, First Kiss/Time, Anal) – When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.

Secrets and Revelations by Hisstah (E, 83,535 w., 9 Ch. || Sentinel / Guides Omegaverse AU || Adventure, Violence, Anal / Oral, Omega!John / Alpha!Sherlock, Case Fic, Politics, Mild DubCon) – Dr John Watson has some major secrets that he's kept from his flatmate, Alpha Sentinel Sherlock Holmes. Now the Sentinel Tower is after him. Can John stay out of their hands until he can reveal his secrets to Sherlock? Part 1 of Secrets and Revelations

Kintsukuroi by sussexbound (E, 91,823 w., 20 Ch. || S4 Compliant / Post-TLD, Grief / Mourning, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Therapy, Past Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Suicidal Ideation, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Sexting, Frottage, Inexperienced Sherlock, Rimming / Anal / BJ’s, Emotional Turmoil, Finding Each Other, John’s Self Esteem Issues) – “I love you.” Sherlock sees the words hit John with almost physical force. He reels back a little, jaw twitching and eyes filling. “I love you,” he repeats, a little softer, a little more gentle, as earnest as he possibly can. Because they’ve been teetering on the brink of this thing for years, and it had become painfully obvious over the last few months that they were at a tipping point. This had to happen. Now it has. Now they can see where they end up. The tears in John’s eyes spill over, and he wipes at them angrily. “Do you even know what that means?”

The Cost of a Wish by slashscribe (E, 102,493 w., 12 Ch. || xxxHolic Fusion || Spirits / Ghosts and Magic, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Soul Mates / Fated Lovers, Adventure, Immortal Sherlock, Powerful John, POV John, Frottage, Wish Granting, Angst with Happy Ending, Nightmares) – John has been plagued by a secret his entire life that has made him feel hopeless until he meets a mysterious, seemingly omniscient man named Sherlock Holmes who owns a wish-granting shop. Their meeting sets off a series of inevitable events that will change the course of both of their lives forever.

Maintenance and Repair by patternofdefiance (E, 106,650 w., 71 Ch. || Future AU, Augmentation || Augmented John, Depression, Body Modification, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding, Sci-Fi, Self-Care, Body Dysmorphia) – John wants to explain the rush of sensation and data, which is just another form of sensation (or is it the other way around?). John wants to say: Augmentation circuits report temperature, pressure, various forms of quantitative input. Sudden changes are reported as pain, since sudden changes are dangerous, and pain is the quickest way to encourage reflexive extraction. But all John can manage is, “Nng.” Because this sudden touch is not reporting as pain. Part 2 of STATIC

A Study in Winning by Jupiter_Ash (E, 106,658 w., 11 Ch. || Tennis AU || John POV, Dirty Talk, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, Happy Ending, Sherlock Speaks French, Switchlock, Wimbledon) – John and Sherlock are professional tennis players and it’s Wimbledon. One is a broken almost was at the end of his career, the other an arrogant rising star tipped for greatness. It should have been a straightforward tournament. It really should have been. How were they to know that a chance encounter would change everything? Part 1 of Tennis

Shatter the Darkness (Let the Light In) by MojoFlower (E, 109,683 w., 23 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Genie/Djinn AU || Magical Realism, Kidnapping, Genie Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Case Fic, H/C, Angst, Clubs, John Whump, Mild DubCon, Hand / Blow Jobs, Torture) – Fairy tales are for those who remember how to dream; not John Watson, broken and hiding from his bleak future in a beige bedsit. But then he discovers a lamp and finds himself in the dangerous riptide of an enigmatic man whose very existence is unbelievable, murder charges against his sister, and the growing pains of feeling alive once more.

The Burning Heart by May_Shepard (M, 119,150 w., 21 Ch. || Canon Divergence, Post-TRF, John’s Sexuality, S3 Rewrite, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV John Watson, John’s Gay) – When Sherlock dies, John Watson feels like his life is over too. He’s completely shut down, until Mark Morstan, a new nurse at John’s medical clinic, catches his attention, and helps him uncover the long buried truth of his attraction to men. Although he’s certain he’ll never get over Sherlock, John plans to move on, and build a new life with Mark, unaware that Sherlock is not quite as dead as he appears, and that Mark is hiding secrets of his own.

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #insecure john #my fic recs #Anonymous #long post

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