#games are bad like it's the fucking weather

[neiptune]

better safe than starry eyed

cw: 2k+ wc, female reader, your fwb arrangement with oliver aiku is not going well as in: he's catching feelings and is unable to deal with it like an adult

Oliver’s lavish aparment is uncharacteristically unlit when you walk in and your brows stay furrowed for just a moment, before the candles in your peripheral catch your attention.

“Hello?”, for a brief second you think you walked through the wrong door. That is until the familiarity of a grin has your muscles relaxing.

“Hi beautiful”, he welcomes you into his living room, sleeves of a pristine white shirt rolled to reveal thick forearms, “you’re late”.

Like clockwork, Oliver’s familiar hands find their designated place on your hips and you smile as you wrap your arms around his neck.

“Dinner?”, you playfully glance over at the richly set table, “did you hit your head?”.

“Not a nice way to talk to the guy who spent the last hour cooking”, he starts rubbing soothing circles right above your hips, slightly pushing the skirt of your dress up in the process.

Oliver knows you’re confused, taken aback: this is not what he does, it’s not what you see each other for. But what you don’t know is that tonight is special. Tonight is the night he ends things with you.

“You cooked? We’re gonna end up poison-”, you yelp when he lightly pinches your side, a quiet laugh muffled into the fabric of his shirt.

“You are gonna beg for my forgiveness once you taste that chicken”, he grumbles. His scowl is so cute you giggle but when you try to kiss him, Oliver suddenly takes a step back.

“Dinner first. S’gonna get cold”, the wink he offers doesn’t entirely dissipate your perplexity.

He helps you into your seat by pulling out the chair and servers you both a generous portion of a suspiciously inviting dinner. Everything would be perfectly normal, charming even, if this was your normal. Which is not.

Oliver refuses to smile under your doubtful stare, a game of cat and mouse he was never really able to win. You’re smart, smarter than him, which ultimately is what led him into this mess.

He knows it’s partially his fault: what was supposed to be and stay as an uncomplicated arrangement, convenient for both sides, soon ended up being much more intricate than what he had anticipated. See, Oliver was never supposed to ask you to spend the night. You were never to be in his kitchen in the morning, sitting on the counter with a cup of coffee you’d allow him to sip from as he put together eggs and rice for breakfast. He was never supposed to pick you up from work if the weather was exceptionally bad, the thought of you squeezing in a subway filled with people to the brim was not supposed to bother him. You were not supposed to become part of his routine, you really should’ve just stayed the woman he’d fuck into his mattress when he craved relief.

Oliver isn’t sure you’re aware of the way you slipped yourself, failing to honor the agreement as much as him. Always so attentive, caring, texting him that you had sent him lunch because he always forgets to grab some, calling just to ask about his day, spending the entire night tangled in sheets just talking and talking as he keeps you close. It’s not what he wants, nor what he needs, so it’s time to put a permanent stop to it.

He remembers accidentally meeting your friends a few days back. You don’t do dates, you were just there to casually grab a cup of coffee and he casually didn’t feel like waiting in the car. Oliver paid for your order without batting an eye and your heated objections catched the attention of a small group of people, who happened to recognize your voice. They knew who he was and after making some polite conversation, Oliver excused himself to go to the bathroom. Right as he came back, he accidentally overheard your friends passionately warning you against him: player, notorious cheater, better off with someone normal were the words he managed to catch.

It was perfectly reasonable behavior, he thought. Oliver remembers stopping by the table, gaze flickering to your serious face right after you murmured something he didn’t quite hear. He knew you were too genuine to straight up lie, tell them he’s the best man you’ve ever met, someone who carried much more than his reputation. He also knows, deep down, you started thinking there is more to him. And Oliver doesn’t want to deceive you, not you of all people.

He likes you much more than what he should be allowed to and that can’t happen. Still, you deserve better than a half assed parting of the ways over the phone, the usual excuses he’d come up with. He’s still selfish enough to hope you’ll decide to stay one more night, even after his signature asshole retreat. Either way, you at least deserve dinner.

“Oliver”, you murmur, “are you okay?”.

“Never better”, he flashes you a grin, “why are you not eating? I swear it’s good”.

“You’re literally shaking”.

Oliver clicks his tongue, distractedly pulling his sleeves down to conceal the skin covered in goosebumps.

“I’m fine”.

With the same stubborness that drives him insane, you get up from your seat and try to touch his hand. He pulls back.

“Jesus, just let me-”, you finally succeed in taking his face in your hands and your jaw slacks, “Aiku!”.

“I’m good”, he repeats, irked by how foreign you make his government name sound by now, “can we just have dinner?”.

“No, you idiot. Take your clothes off right now”.

He has the nerve to chuckle as you tug at his shirt to make him rise from the chair. Oliver sways a little once he’s on his feet and you sigh, exasperated.

“Why don’t you take your clothes off?”, he smiles.

“You’re incredible”, as you start quite literally dragging him to his bedroom, you shake your head in utter disbelief, “why didn’t you just cancel?”.

“I never cancel”, it’s not entirely true, sometimes he does cancel. As in, he disappears without warning never to return again.

Once he flops down onto his bed, arms loosely wrapped around your waist as you stand between his parted legs, Oliver rests his forehead against your chest. You start unbuttoning his shirt and when he helps you take it off, he shivers again.

“I can change on my own, you know”, he offers a weak smile when you glare at him. He doesn’t love that you take a step back right away, hands raised.

“Good. Do it, then”.

Oliver complies, something strange and foreign clutching his chest when you leave the room. Just like that.

When he crawls into bed, the covers too cold on his fevered skin as he keeps trembling, he waits to hear the sound of his front door shutting. The clear signal that will indicate that you have left without giving him the chance to do what needed to be done. A pang of nausea makes his insides churn.

After what feels like forever, something cool and soft is suddenly placed on his forehead and, when he opens his eyes again, you’re incredibly still there, looking at him with an odd mix of affection and irritation.

“Got you some medicine. Drink it, then sleep”.

“You’re hot when you’re in charge”, he murmurs, to which you scoff. Oliver sits up with a groan, obediently takes the medicine and drinks the water you brought him, lets you dab his cheeks and forehead with the damp piece of cloth. When he feels better, he’s going to kick Shuto in the face for making him sick too.

“Is this why you wouldn’t let me touch you?”.

He ignores the question.

“I can still-”

“We are not having sex, Aiku”.

“But what if it heals me?”.

“Oliver, shut up. Close your eyes”.

He does what he’s told and not just because his head is straight up throbbing. Definitely not because you said his name again.

What is he even doing? He’s supposed to at least try. You weren’t to understand he’s not feeling well and he is definitely not supposed to flirt with the one person he needs to get rid of as quickly as possible. Fuck.

“You should leave”, he manages to utter, eyes still shut. You’re sitting on the bed, probably wearing that protective look you always get on that pretty face whenever someone you could somehow help happens to be around.

“It’s fine”, you murmur, one hand distractedly carding through his hair. Oliver tries as hard as he can to keep his eyes closed.

Maybe he can be selfish for a few minutes more. Who knows when he’s going to see you or hear your voice again? You’re soon going to hate him, resent him. He just hopes you never completely regret him. Oliver knows he won’t regret you.

“Go eat something”, he croaks.

“Not hungry. I always eat before coming over, you know, since you’re a terrible-”

“You’re being mean. I’m literally on my deathbed right now”.

You chuckle.

“I just eat because we don’t really do that. What’s up with dinner, tonight? Why go through all that trouble?”.

Oliver stops himself before his stupid tongue runs, the admission sitting heavy in his mouth. No trouble at all. I actually fucking lowkey enjoyed doing it.

When he doesn’t reply, you assume he’s either falling asleep or trying to. You gently feel his temperature again, the back of your hand on his warm cheek. He looks so vulnerable, it makes you want to kiss him. A dangerous thought.

Oliver is not asleep, he weakly reaches for your hand and briefly presses it to his lips before gently placing it on the covers, away from him. His eyes are still shut when he speaks.

“You should leave”, he says again, sternly this time.

“I can stay. What if you need help-”

“I fucked someone else today. I will again tomorrow”.

He doesn’t see it but he feels it, the way you quietly jerk. It’s unexpected, despite the arrangement between you too being far from exclusive. He knows you’re not upset because he’s seeing other people, it’s the way he’s telling you. It’s the reason why he’s telling you.

Oliver is not lying, he wouldn’t lie to you. He really did fuck other people the last few days, over and over actually, an attempt at pushing whatever you are doing to him, whatever you’re making him feel, out of his system. It felt different, it felt weird and foreign and not you. Which is why you can’t belong there anymore.

“I understand”, you say, calm. Not a quiver to your voice because why would there be any? You’re an adult. You can face things. He’s just a man and not even a particularly good one, you will find better.

It takes everything in him not to grab your arm and pull you into his chest when he feels your lips gently press to his cheek once you get up from the same bed you’ve shared so many times. It’s probably the fever but oh, he’s going to miss you.

Oliver dreams of you that night, in between violent shivering, sweat and full-body aches. He wakes so many times but only opens his eyes once, lets his gaze wander around the dark room, and his heart thumps violently in his chest when he sees what looks like your silhouette uncomfortably curled up in the armchair on the other side of the bedroom. He’s sure it’s not real, you couldn’t possibly still be there at 4 in the morning.

You considered respecting his implicit request, really. You wanted to leave. But then you looked at him and it once more painfully struck you. Always alone, in a big city, in an even bigger house, his family not close enough to be there if he gets sick, his friends wouldn’t be called in the first place because god forbid Oliver asks for someone’s help.

You only stay because he’ll never know. You stay because you don’t want to leave him, always so obstinate and difficult, even if it means breaking your heart a little more. You won’t hold it against him, even if he most probably would want you to: Oliver doesn’t realize how badly he chooses to damage himself each time, what he does is far worse than the silly sadness he burdens your chest with. You know he likes you, it’s just unfortunate he wouldn’t trust himself with that.

Oliver wakes up with every single muscle in his body aching, the sweatshirt he sleeps in stuck to his clammy back. His eyes dart to the empty armchair and the relief he feels is bitter. It turns into something more complex when he shuffles to the living room, the table he worked so hard to set now perfecly empty, food probably stored in plastic containers he’ll find in the fridge. Because of course you’d do that.

He sits by the counter, the low buzz of the coffee machine echoeing in a painfully empty apartment. And then, the memory washes over him like a tidal wave.

Once again, Oliver feels just how overwhelmingly bad he wanted to prove your friends wrong.

[sidequestsinlife]

philm club notes 🧡

just random thoughts and interesting bits while watching (liveshow link here from dec 19 2018), yes this is long i'm terrible at editing myself. def watched this in 2018 but i don't regularly watch back their liveshows so i'm sure i haven't seen it since, let's see what surprises are in store!

why is younow audio so shit

don't put toothpaste on your zits pls phil

the discussion of their different feelings about going to their family homes is nothing new at this point but still interesting to hear them talk about. i wonder if dan feels like things are less haunted now that he's not still in the closet? don't think he's really talked about it post coming out?

but regardless it is very sweet to hear how much dan always enjoys the lesters and how welcoming they are, some things never change

phil is very correct with those comments about the rain and the roads, for some fucking reason even though it rains all the fucking time here and it also does seriously impede travel?? my train was cancelled for rain recently??? why do they not have better ways to deal with this?? i will never understand this country

younow why do you suck so bad, i had to minimize the window while i listen bc it's so out of sync it's making me insane, i hate seeing them look at each other all cute and smiley and not being able to figure out which part of what they're saying those expressions go with arghhhhhhhh

this was a time full of big announcements wow

the hiatus was NOT a short time and dan fully knew it wouldn't be he is a liar but he is forgiven (or will be once wdapteo 5 drops at least)

"if i ever upload on danisnotonfire again, the uploads will be more regular than they are now" LIARRRRRRRRRR AGAIN

drinking game take a shot every time these lying liars lie and soon you will be DEAD

this whole thing about ending things while they're good is going to make me paranoid that they're just going to peace out in the middle of some fantastic content in this new era too ugh. just gonna be like "wow this is my fav video they've ever made guess it'll be the LAST video they ever make"

more lies

they are obviously the obnoxiously loud neighbors and i hope the phouse has thick walls or is a fully detached house with some significant space btw them and the neighbors or i'm sure they're still getting people ringing the doorbell at 2am telling them to shut up

"he is not logan paul" (discussion of joe sugg being a "good egg") is very much not a high bar lmao

if phil didn't have dan to help him sort out his lefts and rights and stop him from walking into objects/off ledges/etc do you think he would still be alive and have all his original limbs

it is very sweet that they make clear the hiatus is not a life change though just a youtube change, they're not going anywhere in each other's lives regardless of joint content (or lack thereof) and they want to reassure everyone of that

they get each other gifts they want for themselves lmao, of course they do, they share everything. this is also why dan doesn't understand in 2024 why people would dare get him a gift that phil can't also enjoy. they are one person. dan and phil's pronouns are we/us.

phil does not go outside but he has four coats. i relate to this as i also do not like to go outside especially when the weather isn't great, but i am pretty sure i own FIVE coats. this is unnecessary.

2018 dan has clearly thought a lot about phil's beauty and aesthetic in a very non-gay way i'm sure

the 2018 casualties of the phass include several christmas tree ornaments apparently

ellen plagiarized phil???? how did i forget this?? also apparently this was pre everyone realizing ellen sucks

every time i watch pre-hiatus anything back, no matter how much i enjoyed it originally and still like it now, i'm reminded of how much more reserved they were, and how much more free and happy and gay they are now in this current era. i loved them then, sure, but the new era is so much better, and i'm so glad that they feel this way now and that they feel comfortable enough to share it with us 🧡

[aplitvictim]

Defending my husband

Okay lowk I made this account to post all of my delicious and nutritious meta for JJBA and Trigun, but apparently my first post is gonna be about Squid Game. That's fine.

I've seen a lot of people making posts on tik tok about how useless Jun-ho is and that he didn't accomplish anything, and this is a take that has irked me because it has been in this fandom since season 1.

So, I have come on here to say: Jun-ho is not useless, he is actually very capable and smart and that the insane odds he is against are why he isn't able to accomplish much.

In season one, not only is he able to infiltrate their operation, which had been operating completely undetected for decades, but he manages to get close to the VIPs and get numerous amounts of very incriminating evidence on it, and remain undetected within their ranks for a solid chunk of time. And, once he is discovered, he doesn't get caught until the very end of the games. Had that evidence not been lost when he was yknow, shot and fell into the fucking ocean, it might have been over for the Squid Games.

(This is impressive for several reasons, the main one being we can assume no one has been able to infiltrate to the level that he has despite the fact that the games have been going on since the 80's. I think it was the 80's.)

But, in season 2 it does kinda feel like he is doing a whole lot of nothing in this season, especially because of how much he was able to accomplish in the season previous, even if it ended up being somewhat futile. All he does is fuck around on a boat and almost get blown up.

But, the first thing to note here is that it is obvious that not only the captain, but The Front Man and the other people in the game are interfering with his progress. Gi-hun's tracker was taken out and implanted on someone else the moment he entered the games, so right from the get go their operation is being tampered with.

There is then, of course, the scene where the man catches the captain meddling with their drone and consequently killing the guy who found him out, something he will very easily be able to explain away due to jun-ho and that one goofy guy's trust in him and the conditions of the weather that night.

These are all factors that hinder Jun-ho's progress, not to mention the two guys getting blown tf up on the island, which just makes things worse because now they have lost man power as well.

But, another thing that must be considered is that Jun-ho no longer has the element of surprise. In season 1, the games are simply operating as normal, because they have been doing so for years and have no reason to believe that there is someone attempting to invade their organization.

In season 2, however, they are now aware that Jun-ho has managed to infiltrate and get valuable information on them, and are now on guard and working actively to counter him, which puts Jun-ho at a disadvantage. This factor is compounded by the fact that we can assume that the captain is keeping the front man updated on all of Jun-ho's movements and plans, allowing him time to think of ways to counteract him.

The fact that the squid game executives are now working against him, and the captain being a spy, are why Jun-ho is not able to accomplish what he was in season 1.

TLDR: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STOP CALLING HIM USELESS THATS MY HUSBAND UR TALKING ABOUT. And I want to add that I have seen ppl calling him dumb for not noticing that the captain is shady as hell, and he definitely is, but we have to remember that this guy saved Jun-ho's life, and the only times we see him act shady are when Jun-ho is not present. So we have to remember that we the audience know more than he does, and things that are like stupid obvious to us aren't to him bc he doesn't have the information and perspective that we have.

I do hope we get to see him being more bad ass in season 3, and I hope we get more interaction between him and the front man bc if there is one thing that makes me fold and kill myself its fucked up siblings on opposite sides of a conflict. anyways rant over. hate on capitalism or whatever

[eonveil]

i feel like i should say that i'm genuinely having more fun with johto by playing crystal so maybe i'm not a johto hater i'm just a hgss hater

[bucket-puns]

Knight Zwei West Ishmael on- your house actually, pay up.

[xamaxenta]

Going fuckin crazy tonight andnim still not done

[ourceliumnetwork]

i have never been more angry about climate change getting to the point that it has than i am right now. i don't remember the last time i moved around without having to very carefully consider how much pain i am in and how much effort it will take me to move from bed to wherever i need to be.

the weather is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT every four to five days or so (40degreeF temp fluxes anyone?) and my body is predicting the changes about four days in advance, getting worse as the front moves in. I have No Fucking Respite from this and I am... very slowly losing my mind about it. it's... it's been at least a few weeks now that it's been back and forth rapidly and i can't fucking MOVE.

I can't sleep, laying down hurts too much. sitting hurts. standing hurts *and* wears me out almost instantly. the otc meds aren't really doing anything anymore and all the weed does is make it so it's not the forefront of my mind (and also makes it so i don't really feel like moving around a whole bunch anyway). i can't think. i can't focus.

and i know i'm not the only one in the household feeling poorly because of the weather - we're a barometric body household, we've got everything: migraines, old injuries, other stuff. and it sucks. it all just sucks a lot and i want the weather to stabilize and because of the fucking melting ice the jetstream is all wonky and that's what's causing the back and forth ESPECIALLY this far up north, and it's absolutely WRECKING my shit.

so if we could get to work on maybe not making climate change worse and even potentially putting some of that ice back on the north pole so that the transition seasons are maybe less fraught with pain, i would be greatly appreciative.

[timeisacephalopod]

Part of being Canadian is how similar we are to the US, and honestly not a single person on earth I think could genuinely pin point the difference between Canadian and American culture but the average Canadian. Americans assume we're the same as them (we aren't), even a bunch of Canadians think we're Americans, especially around voting seasons, and about half our cultural identity is "we're Not American!" but there are some cultural differences and if we all spoke French equally we could have had a language distinction but nooooo. Despite not being America unfortunately such a fuck off massive country right below your teeny tiny ass country (population wise) does result in a cultural avalanche from said fuck off massive country. Especially when you share a language.

The war of 1812 will forever be funny to me though because Americans were like "hmm maybe Canadians would also like to tell the British to fuck off, we will invade to show them!" And Canada was like *burns down the white house* and we've been tentatively chill with each other ever since lmao (even when we probably like. Shouldn't be cool with America but like. We could not risk that implosion politically or otherwise it'd be suicide).

[storm-driver]

realising how much i actually enjoy scarlet nexus as a concept, i just wish that the cutscenes were given a lot more love. the game deserves it, it's honestly super kickass.

[poorlittlevampire]

more stuff for my room yippeeee not pictured is a poster of one of my fave kaito cards

[ratatatastic]

oh lundy was at the inter game tonight lucky 😭😭😭

[butchlifeguard]

ive been out for 15 hours but im getting home and im still kinda charged so im gonna watch the first deadpool movie

[phagodyke]

this assay is so fucking fake......

[carlyraejepsans]

undyne is sooooo funny cause the entire game she's catastrophically down bad for this 4'9 reddit tgirl who's convinced she's unlovable so she'll openly call her cute to her face whenever they meet and dress her up in little outfits and call her to ask about the weather (they live in a cave) to no fucking avail and then crash on papyrus' couch to spew her romantic dyke woes to him only for HIM to be like "YEAH THIS IS A NORMAL BOSS-EMPLOYEE RAPPORT". 360 degrees of relationship hell with this woman. no wonder she's insane

[the-opal-mermaid]

God I’ve been excited about going to bed since I woke up this morning

[teaboot]

One of the best parts about working at a sex shop is the employee discount, and yeah that means excellent deals on sex supplies but that's not the big brain part.

You come to my house. Something is cooking in the kitchen- it smells wonderful. What is it? It's novelty dick-shaped pasta. I've set up a sensual sexy Italian dinner. There are candles set up on the table. They're melting too fast, dripping everywhere- they're low temp waxplay pillar candles. For dessert, I serve you a delicious ice cream topped in penis-shaped rainbow confetti sprinkles and strawberry body paint drizzle, and afterwards, serve coffee with roasted hazelnut warming lube.

We play a board game while we drink. It's sexy monopoly. It's your turn. You roll the dice. They come up as 'whisper into' and 'butt'. I lost the original dice. We're using the sexy dice. You move four spaces.

After dinner, I run you a bath. A bubble bath. The bubble gel? Sensual ocean breeze. There are candles lined up around the tub. The scent is overpowering. Why? They're three-in-one fruit flavored massage oil candles. I'm using so much. It's so wasteful. Do you want to shave? I have conditioning shave cream that smells like limes. And an electric body razor, but you can't use that in the tub.

How about a bath bomb? You toss one in. It's cherry blossom scented. As it dissolves, three sexy bath sex suggestion cards fall out. They're all variations on doggy style, probably because fucking in a bathtub is probably the easiest way to break your hip.

The water cools. You get out an dry off with a novelty towel. If you wrap it around your chest, it looks like you have gigantic tatas bursting through the fabric like the Hulk.

You walk into the bedroom. I'm there, reading an instructional book titled "The Housewife's Guide To Every Day Stripping". I'm wearing a neck pillow designed to look like a massive curved weiner. Also a pair of fake leather bondage leggings and an oversized men's christmas T-shirt that says "Jingle My Bells" across the front.

I see you come in. I put down the book, take off the pillow. Offer you a massage. You accept. I already burned up all the massage candles so I pop a new bottle of CBD massage oil that says something wrong about Chakras on it. It's very gritty. That's because there's little chunks of amethyst in it for some fucking reason. It's fine, though. You say you don't mind.

I don't do massages very often. It's bad. You end up more tense than before. One of your muscles starts to cramp- it's okay. I whip out a bottle of Lidocane topical masculine performance numbing spray. You immediately feel like your shoulder went to the dentist. It's not ideal, but it's better than cramping.

You're not in the mood to bone after that. Which is good, cause I'm actually pretty asexual, but it hasn't come up yet so I'm relieved to avoid the conversation. Instead we get ready for bed. (The weather is terrible, and I insist you stay over.) I set up the futon, then realize it smells like cigarettes from the previous owner and shyly ask if you wanna cuddle in my room. You're down.

I crawl under the covers, placing my penis-shaped pink glitter pride bottle on the side table in case one of us wakes up thirsty. Once you're settled in, I turn off the glowing bare ass night light and the room goes black.

It takes a few seconds for your eyes to adjust, but when they do, you look up at the ceiling. It's dotted all over with little green flourescent lights. Are they plastic stars? No. I've pinned up a thousand glow in the dark condoms. God bless