#fwiw i am better today

[homerforsure]

Me @ Me: Do not think about hockey au right now. You just had your bimonthly meltdown yesterday about how you have too many ideas and are doing all of them badly. Do NOT bring something new into the mix I swear to god.

[dreamaze]

i don't think i'll ever forgive h*be for what they did to hyyh (left it to die with an incomplete ending) or star seekers (disconnected it from any recent output from the group itself & somehow sucked the magic out of something that is literally full of magic)

[celticcrossanon]

Hi, Celta! It’s great to see that you’re feeling better! The wording of that reddit tea/post about Lili’s birth is fascinating and includes some clues imo. I’m an American RN, licensed in two states other than California, but HIPAA laws governing patient confidentiality are the same throughout the US, and I’m very familiar with working under HIPAA patient privacy regulations. Fwiw, this part intrigued me:

“What I can confirm is that she (Lili) was born there, M&H were in attendance, and they asked for this ridiculous shit…The person who told my family member this obviously couldn’t say that Meghan gave birth or not, right? (Due to HIPAA) So actually we don’t have that info. We just have the other info which wasn’t violating HIPAA.”

So…1) “She (Lili) was born there” (at said maternity hospital/clinic). The source can reveal this legally, because birth records of who/when/where an infant is born are public record.

But, 2) “M & H were in attendance.” First, the word “attendance,” of course, implies that M was an observer to the birth, rather than an actual participant as the birth mother. Second, though, HIPAA regulations prohibit the disclosure that someone is even a patient at a medical facility, unless the patient gives consent to disclose. So, if M was the actual birth mother, she would have been a patient at the facility, and the source, per HIPAA, couldn’t have disclosed that M was even present at the facility. However, if M wasn’t an actual patient/birth mother, but merely an observer to the birth, then her presence in the facility isn’t bound by HIPAA laws, and the source can legally reveal that M was “in attendance.” Lili’s birth mother - whoever she may be - hasn’t given consent for her medical information to be released (under an NDA, no doubt), so the source “obviously couldn’t say whether Meghan had given birth or not”…ie, if M didn’t give birth, then someone else did, but that someone else hasn’t given consent for release of that info.

As an analogy, medical personnel legally can reveal that “Mary” was a visitor to the hospital, but they cannot legally disclose (without consent) the identity of the patient “Mary” came to visit.

jmho :) #team surrogate

*

Hi Nonny,

Thank you very much for this explanation of the nuances of the post about Lili’s birth. They flew completely over my head, so I am so glad you wrote this up and pointed them out.

Original Post:

https://celticcrossanon.tumblr.com/post/757735889862623232/saw-this-tea-today-posted-on-reddit-by

[sgiandubh]

Lionsgate/*** quarter call - not so good as it seems

While I am still fumbling around with the strike's aftermath, let me just quickly say a word or two about ***'s last quarter call, yesterday. Nobody does it as @cb4tb, but FWIW, here goes:

I should immediately say I could not watch the replay on the link provided by the initial press release (here: https://investors.lionsgate.com/news-and-events/press-releases/2023/10-19-2023-140125017), despite my total good will to take one for the team, go to bed early and wake-up at ungodly hours. I have no idea why - maybe access is somehow limited? I would never know, I had no 403 error in my browser, so... 🤷‍♀️. Instead, I could peruse the paper version of the standard Company Quarterly Report (US SEC Form 10-Q), along with some scarce press comments, for a bit of context.

The document is damn long (94 pages) and it reads exactly like I presumed: a kidney stone would be easier to pass (https://investors.lionsgate.com/financial-reports/sec-filings). It's perhaps worth for this phrase alone (on page 43), which really made me stop in my tracks:

At the time of the document's public release, it is technically true and accurate that the tentative deal between AMPTP and SAG-AFTRA still has to be approved by the union's members. However, given the horrendous impact of the strike on almost all things Hollywood and California, for that matter (more on this in a separate post), it's more than likely the deal will hold. The rest is dire: more slashing of content to come, 'if the Company is unable to efficiently complete the production of the film, TV show or program or decides to abandon the production'.

While this does not seem to affect Season 8, this could (I repeat: could) mean that: a) BOMB is gone and b) MIK3 is no longer a priority (the fact that MIK 2, as OL, was listed among the last quarter premieres is not a guarantee it will be continued - not the same amplitude as OL). If so, Season 8 might start shooting as soon as January 2024, since it already has all the needed infrastructure and staff readily available at Cumbernauld (yes, Mordor, the peasant you all love to hate managed perhaps to save the day again!). So OL is doing ok on that side, unlike other productions of other studios, who reportedly started a mad scramble for location scouting and staff recruiting, just before the festive season - that is a big competitive advantage and one of the main reasons I believe it's still entirely possible to pull it off.

The 'thriving' future (according to Feltheimer, that genius 🙄) of *** as a standalone company is still something we severely lack data on, as Lionsgate kept its commitment to go on with the acquisition of Entertainment One (you know, the Peppa Pig people), for a mere 375 million USD, to be completed by January 31, 2024. At the same time, *** is not the only actor on the US media & tech market to proceed to lay-offs and it seems to fare better than many, as I already supposed and told you:

(Sourced at: https://variety.com/2023/tv/news/starz-layoffs-exit-uk-australia-lionsgate-1235779627/).

Something to be closely monitored in the upcoming weeks. I think it's going to be worth it. Sorry for not bringing any sensational content today and I know it's dull and probably uninteresting AF, but it's there and it has to be taken into account, for sure. So yes, 'not as good as it seems' (profit is now mainly driven by motion picture, not television production), but not as bad as expected by the prophets of doom across the street, who - as usually - have no damn idea of what they are talking about.

[inventors-fair]

Mistake Contest Commentary: Experiential Learning

I've been feeling like I've made a lot of mistakes recently. This contest was somewhat of a connection, somewhat of a challenge, and somewhat catharsis. Acknowledging mistakes is an important part of growing and being human, and in the game of Magic, it's an important part of learning the skill ceiling of the game. I've made many mistakes in my day and I'm sure I'll make many more.

Open-ended contests like this one tend to attract some really swingy designs—some of them definitely good, and some of them slightly on the too-simple or too-complex side of things. That said, I think the most important thing to take away from contests like these is that small mistakes are there to show you how to make small improvements. The point of these contests is to have fun and learn! After all, what else are you getting from them? Community, camaraderie, a display of love for the game, all that good stuff... Maybe there's more, but today, we're gonna learn. Sound good? Sounds good.

Don't forget: Cards marked as Judge Picks are cards I'd like to highlight for one reason or another, but didn't quite make the cut. Let's cut ahead ourselves and get to the commentary:

@big-golyat — Slayer of the Meek

The problem with this card's weirdness is that it has to be worded this way to do what it does, and it does what it does quite well. Personally, I get it, or at least I think I grok it, and the only thing left is to explain it in a way that's easily grokable all-around. FWIW, "nonattacking" is terminology you can use to talk about the other creature. All the same, as a removal spell, I think this is one most people wouldn't know how to play around as easily, and I don't hate it for its ability. Instead of tapping, I think having this creature be unable to block would be reasonable.

On the flavor side of things, I personally don't think that the flavor text is getting across what you want it to in terms of tone and mood. Additionally, one has to ask: what is the mistake in question, y'know? Is it a mistake that the creature isn't attacking? That's understandable in certain scenarios if you have a support creature, but there are creatures with summoning sickness, walls, etc. that fudge the intent even within the world. Is this assassin supposed to be going behind lines and punishing captains for their "mistake" of not leading them? If it's punitive, then the factual statement feels disingenuous as opposed to ironic. I just feel that there are better ways of saying what you're meaning to say here.

~

@bowtochris — Sun God's Chariot

As it's been mentioned here and there, it's fairly rare that outside flavor text gets brought into Magic these days. I think that your depiction of the mistake in question is one of hubris, and less of a one-time oopsie and more of the mythological cycle, so that's pretty awesome. Regardless, there's the issue of Theros, and a plane that's already based on Greek/Roman mythology. Why not just set the card there and have an in-world explanation? I suppose it's a matter of taste, but for Fair purposes it might be best to keep it to Magic worlds. BTW, shift+enter is the MSE templating for when you have a quote attribution, with no space after the emdash.

Mechanically, I feel that this card's a little more powerful than not if you can have any kind of consistent token-making. Tokens sending this card into orbit are pretty wild, and even with just three toughness it can block bears and soar over as soon as turn three without much consequence. I believe a 4/3 flier would have been a little less worrisome in most environments. That said, it's quite a powerful uncommon and one that would be a bit of a beast in limited if you can get it going.

~

@curiooftheheart — Drop the Bass (JUDE PICK)

I am crossing my arms firmly. Okay? Imagine me crossing my arms and standing with my weight slightly off-center as I glare at you. That's exactly how I feel about this card and the good news is that if I was actually mad about it, I wouldn't be giving it the time of day. The threshold has been crossed and we're funny again! Well, you are—I'm just rambling. This is such a silly name for a card that's genuinely pretty good, and I am putting it as a Judge Pick not because I want other folks to follow your example, but because you executed the silliness so well with this particular card.

What a mistake to make! The real mistake would be not destroying one of your own artifacts. Getting Junk is super cool, and while I haven't played with it myself, impulse-drawing is one of my favorite parts about red, and if you've got artifact creatures then you can block, sac, get your Junk, and you're golden for the next while. Even a single Junk if you need the spot removal is pretty fun. This for-sure feels like a Capenna card, and that set had enough random artifacts that I feel this would be worth it and playable. shame about Kardak's nonsense, but maybe he'll meet up with that Kamigawa futurist DJ and they can chat.

~

@feyd-rautha-apologist — Curse of Heeded Summons

This card is too powerful for its cost/abilities. We're just gonna get that out of the way—in limited formats certainly, this card pushes fairness into unfairness. The amount of board presence this card gets your when your opponent ostensibly can't play creatures without significant worry over having artifact/enchantment removal, plus the cost that happens right on the curve of creatures having not-insignificant powers... The effect is interesting but not at this cost. I'm comparing it to something like Painful Quandary for whatever that's worth. The gist remains, though.

I think that the easiest thing to do would be to up the cost and take away the flash. A six-mana curse (or even 2BBB) would encourage this powerful effect without being busted for its formats. The rule of thumb is that discouraging game actions needs to come at an appropriate cost. As for the flavor here, I think that dark forces beyond demonic powers is reasonable as a trope, although it feels a little odd here for who it's punishing. "I curse you with not understand what you're messing with"—except, like, you the caster of the curse is the one tapping into the powers, not the opponent. It's a bit incongruous to me, or at least not as cohesive as curses tend to be.

~

@izzet-always-r-versus-u — Grab and Smash

The card's totally fine for limited and for Thunder Junction shenanigans specifically. The one uncommon Threaten effect that we got is pretty good, IMO, but this one's a little different, and with the artifacts that come with the Big Score it could be pretty awesome overall to steal a Sword or an Extruder and enjoy the spoils. I think stealing a Vehicle would be pretty neat overall and the best flavor outcome; shame there weren't too many good vehicles in the set.

Honestly, it's not that the flavor is bad, but it's just not...gripping me. The art description makes sense and is pretty enjoyable, I'm with you there; the rein-grabbing is a nice touch to show that it's controlling creatures potentially as well. With the name and the flavor text, though, I feel that you could've spiced it up a little bit. The name almost feels like it wants to be goblinesque without committing, and the quote is far too dry for the madcap adventure you're displaying. Still, there's a decent design to be had here. Just gotta let go of the reins a little, ironically enough.

~

@masternexeon — Lil' Butterfingers

Reading through the little explanation you sent in, I get the card from a personal perspective. I'm going to have to do a couple things for my own peace of mind: I'm going to disregard the name, disregard the legendary ability, and disregard the... What're they called? The trinkety-things? "Order up!" and "Special delivery!" Anyway. As a removal-y creature, this card's oddly comparable to Glorybringer in some ways? Or cards like Surtland Flinger, Terror Ballista, etc, things that have a cost to remove upon attacking. I honestly like that aspect. The method to get the Food feels a little too easy, though, or at least I feel the cost and flavor can be a little more connected.

And the fact that it gets Food symmetrically is a little bit of an issue—because, well, now the creatures your opponents play give you the fodder to remove them, and that's not the best for gameplay. Perhaps creatures entering under your control, plus a cost of mana or tapping them, could play better? Back to the other stuff, though: as much as I like this card, I think you and I can both agree that the personal touches are stuff that matter to you and your partner that might be a little too silly for Fair shenanigans. Hey, not holding that against you, though—it's great inspiration, and the actual flavor text that you came up with is pretty great. I like the angle of "mistakes" that you took, too—little whoopsies that happen to also be projectiles. DoorDash f***ing wishes. ... Actually, I hope not, good lord.

~

@misterstingyjack — Butterfingers

Double your butter, double your fingers—with back to back entries the slippage, it lingers! This time I'll be quite ready to admit that I don't get this card at all. Mechanically, the returning makes sense, but I have no idea where the Food token is coming from here. What mechanical purpose does that serve on top of a flavorful one? The flavor text perhaps could help explain that, but while it's certainly elaborate, I don't get any clarification, and that's a wee bit frustrating to me.

Is there a specific trope that I'm missing here? Perhaps so, and if that's true then that's on me. On another note: this flavor text is way too long, and I don't think that's going to be a hotly contested issue. Rule of threes, man, rule of threes. Also, who is the "you" here? Unless it's an ambiguous general second person like Goreclaw's flavor text, it's rarely used, and I feel that it confuses the reader and the depicted subject here. I'm honestly left just scratching my head at what went into some of these minor decisions, but I'd like for them to be cleared up if you have better explanations for me.

~

@real-aspen-hours — Suspicious Deal (JUDGE PICK)

"A medieval real estate broker" is something that I assume was typed with a straight face. Let's back up and assume, like, a plane where people are buying and selling and looking into property. Ravnica, maybe? Somewhere in Capenna? Mercadia? Actually, we're gonna go with Mercadia, because it's funny. Anyway, this is an interesting scene, perhaps best taking place inside the house rather than outside, because IDK how you'd show they weren't able to see it. I'm going on too much about this card, but I do want to say that what the card does and what it depicts are in conversation with each other in a unique way with a pretty decent card, and that's why it's a judge pick: you've already made the deal, and you know the cost, and there's a degree of dramatic irony there between you the player and the characters, and I like that.

What's this card missing? For one, you forgot to include rarity. For two, you forgot to add a shuffle clause. For three, this is just a question, but did you want to add something about, like, how it'll be haunted for as long as it has a haunt counter on it? IDK, feels important for that. Regardless, ramp spells in limited have always been pretty good, and I think the cost here could be fun. What I really think is funny, besides this requiring two colors (DW, it's sensible), is that if you're at one life—oh, right, it should say "you lose 1 life" instead of just "lose 1 life"—you can respond to the trigger and still cast your spell if it's at instant speed, and if that spell happens to kill your opponent then you still win, and that's hilarious to me. But if you just cast your spell and declare the costs, then the trigger still kills you. Anyway, haunt counters could be fun to play around with. Just...next time you submit, write out a sticky note and put a list of everything you need on it, aight?

~

@tanknspank — Beloathed Burial Grounds (JUDGE PICK)

God, I wish this card was playable, because it's so well-designed. I think that the mistake factor is there, and the Pet Semetery reference is not only on-point but depicted in a stranger and unsettling manner here that removes it from the source reference in a refreshing way. Let me be clear: I wouldn't touch this card with a ten-foot pole in either limited or constructed. Too risky for a thousand reasons. That said, let's talk about wording! I don't think "If you do" needs to be on that first line; you can just exile "and" flip a coin. Also, you maybe missed a "the" with "return last creature card" up there. And in the second part. Unless I'm missing something. Scryfall says otherwise, though.

Could this card have been reworked? Imagine this: the "came back wrong" trope. So, if you win the flip, you get the creature back. If you lose the flip, maybe you put the card on the bottom of your library and get a temporary token copy that makes you lose life/sacrifice another creature/some other random negative effect. Is that feasible? I don't hate what you've made and I want to work with it. You just gotta keep in mind that if there was a chance of giving my opponent one of my big dead things, I'm never gonna give the demons even the slightest chance. It's the right gameplay choice. I'm still giving this card a judge pick for making me want to want it so badly, and for the great angle of the trope.

~

@the-gboi — Cartographer's Blunder

Well this one's weird. ... Sorry, I don't know what's gotten into me today, I usually ease into this stuff, let's back up. Let's not back up too much, though, because I think that we can agree on the fact that a two-mana land clone enchantment by itself is a little strange, and having the name of another land is...equally strange. Not that this card is necessarily bad, but I don't know what kind of land you're going to be playing that you want it to enter every turn. Double landfall triggers or maybe double surveilling, or Gaea's Cradle-ing... Is that the intent? I suppose mechanically so, but that's far too narrow, I feel.

Still, if that's what you're going for, you certainly succeeded. Personally, 1U might've been fine. The other thing that you should keep in mind is that the trigger there is, uh...weird. It should just be "At the beginning of your upkeep, return ~ to its owner's hand." And the thing is, that'll go away if it's a copy—wait, so what's this card doing? I just got that—if it becomes a copy, it'll lose the upkeep returning, so what's the point? Also, in an Armageddon scenario, what do you do if there's only one land on the battlefield? I think... I think this card might need another few minutes in the oven, actually. The text and flavor are pretty great for the prompt but mechanics could use a lot of tweaking.

~

@wildcardgamez — Skybridge Bouncer

You've got a lot of ambition packed into one card. Breaking down what's happening here, I think that the adventure side is a good mechanical addition, even if having crime and adventure on a single side would leave little room for the reminder text. I think that the bouncer exiling upon entering because it had witnessed a crime is actually great storytelling. I don't understand precisely why he's a bouncer, though, because wouldn't the boss be the one encouraging crimes? Or rather, why would the boss ask? Loyalty check? Eh, semantics and whatnot.

That said, the flavor text is a little long there, and I would've gone for a different flavor angle than one of a bouncer. Maybe with a Citizen it could've played into a different space. I think that the countering is too weird, too; personally, I'd've worded it: "When ~ enters the battlefield from exile, exile it and..." Or, hm, maybe instead you could put it on the bottom of your library. Sleeping with the fishes again. Could there be another enters-benefit if it WASN'T on an adventure, too? As for the adventure side, "Witness a Crime" talking about crime is kinda low-hanging fruit. How could you phrase the name in another flavorful manner that captures the strengths of the card as-is?

~

@zenonxi — Curse of Remorse

What a specific curse you've got here, and an interesting one at that. I think the "Remorse" aspect is an odd one to take in black, honestly, because that's the color that deals the least in feeling back about the things that it does. But perhaps this is a card that punishes other players tapping into black mana... Either way, the flavor text honestly reads more white than black. Even red! I think that there are other angles to the philosophy though and I won't say that this is anything but my opinion. The pursued angle is still totally fine storywise even if the mistake is on the fence.

With the ability, I think I would've split it into two parts, and the card would've groked a lot better with them. First line: "Whenever enchanted player sacrifices a permanent, they exile cards from the top of their library equal to one plus that permanent's mana value." / Second line: "Whenever enchanted player pays life, they exile that many cards from the top of their library." It's not as single-paragraph, but the way that it reads now feels...cluttered to me. Is there precedent against that? Either way, this card wrecks fetchlands, and you can also still force folks to sacrifice things, which makes this card a little ridiculous. Too ridiculous? I dunno, but I'm a fan of the effect chosen, and that's worth something.

~

Tune in next week! Until then, don't make the same mistake twice, unless you're a scientist, or your opponent topdecks a Sheoldred's Edict. Argh.

@abelzumi

[my-mt-heart]

What do you make of the newest disrespectful treatment of Melissa. The main account totally forgetting her birthday, instead hyping a show that will air 2025. The other account is only posting a snippet of a character telling her she looks ridiculous, while quoting only one short sentence about her birthday and only Valhalla is posting an actual birthday post. Yes, Norman posted a selfie after "forgetting" it last year...

I wouldn't actually mind it if they treated everyone the same. Other LEADS get massive posts each birthday and even Character 218 who had 27 sentences for their 8 episodes get more than Mel got today. Make it make sense and tell me this isn't something personal.

Shouldn't they promote something?

@indigoraysoflight is much better equipped than I am to talk about anything marketing related, but I assume AMC wanted to take advantage of the extra SM activity on Melissa’s birthday to also generate more buzz for the upcoming TWDU shows. That means they’re aware that Melissa brings eyeballs, so there’s that. I don’t know how much overlap there is between TBOC and DC fans, but people took notice and they talked about it. We’re talking about it now. Fwiw, they didn’t promote DC “instead of” TBOC. Did you notice that one of Valhalla’s birthday posts included 3 out of 4 photos of McReedus? That the TWD account shared Norman’s photo of him and Melissa? That they also shared a Caryl scene? That’s Caryl promotion. It’s subtle, dare I say subliminal, but it’s intended to build anticipation for their show.

Should they do more? Absolutely. Do we need new content? God, yes. But the reason I'm not raging about it this time is because I think it’s almost certain at this point that TBOC’s airdate got pushed, so that’s going to push the promo circuit too. Reception to the most recent teasers was mixed thanks to the shipbaiting and friendzoning and Norman’s interviews are also polarizing, so it’s better for AMC’s numbers and our sanity if they take the extra time to come up with/budget for a better marketing strategy. It was reported fairly recently that TBOC was still in post and remember, post can have a pretty big impact on the story for better or worse. If they still don’t know which way they’re swinging in the finale or wherever, marketing won’t have a firm grasp on what they need to promote. We will get a lot of promotion at Tribeca though and I'm guessing the full trailer will be released at SDCC, so we'll see what happens there.

I haven’t really compared birthday posts between actors, but generally speaking, I agree that a lot more needs to be done to show that Melissa is just as much of a lead as the other five actors with spinoffs. Reducing Carol’s name to a subtitle is my biggest gripe at the moment (needless to say 😅) because it positions her as "less than" Daryl before anyone even tunes in. Words can’t describe how much that bothers me. I’m also not loving the new/old narrative that Melissa was always meant to have a small role in S1 because 1) it insults our intelligence. We were all there for the original announcement of the Caryl spinoff in 2020 and for the devastating announcement in 2022 that things had changed. 2) It implies that the EPs had no use for Carol in S1, that she wasn’t important enough. That insults Melissa in the worst way and insults all of the fans who connected so deeply with Carol. Melissa has more than earned her place in the franchise, so she needs to be treated with respect and she needs to be listened to.

[bvannn]

Weekly Update February 9, 2024

The sick has returned. I took my medicine for it this morning but so far it doesn’t seem like it’s gone away, but admittedly my symptoms today could be the result of me having a bad day and it being cold outside, and not necessarily the sick. That’s also why I’m posting this update earlier than usual. If it persists tomorrow I’ll know it’s more surgery side effects, and maybe I’ll message my doctor if it stays throughout the week again. Last week went pretty well so I want to assume this week being messed up was just a fluke. I still got some stuff done, though.

I got a bunch of drawings done, most of them epithet erased and fanart rather than OCs but that’s fine. Fwiw I did get a few more comic pages done, though not one a day like I was hoping. I’ll try another tonight, maybe more if I’m in a good mood. I’m also starting to listen to more music, which should hopefully get inspiration flowing a bit better so I can do more OC art as well.

I still got an animation shaped void I need to fill but haven’t figured out what to do yet. I’d like to try something to music but I gotta get a song done first. So I’ve been trying to work on music but I’ve been so scatterbrained that it’s a bit hard. I’m hoping this weekend I’ll have time, but good chance I’ll try to spend it keeping my mood high instead. I guess I could do some OC animation tests, figure out how clip studio animation works too. Maybe.

Music: been toying with some slow ambient instrumental stuff, and that bigger edm one with the piano I posted a sample of a while ago. Turns out EDM is super easy, so if I can find reasons to keep doing it I will, although admittedly I’m not as big on it as I am on other genres. I’m close to done on that EDM one, partially because it’s supposed to be kinda short. I haven’t touched lyric stuff, I might have to soon though since my congenial medical bs is flaring up again too, and lyrics are luckily something I can do while bedridden. Idk I like how the instrumental is going.

I redid that melody I posted the other day for the ambient track, admittedly didn’t change much but I swapped the third measure out, dropped a few notes, and actually tried it on a lower bpm and with some reverb because I forgot to do that for the samples I posted (whoops), and it sounds fine. I need some other parts for that one still, maybe I’ll use placeholders and just figure out the rest of the instrumentation bc I got that half finished.

Haven’t touched vocaloid again yet. Maybe I’ll make some quick demos so I can understand how tuning works. I’ll probably pick a memey or old song and if I make anything presentable I’ll post it.

Been looking for more VSTs too, I compare it to looking for new brushes whenever you’re dissatisfied with your art. Vital has been good for EDM, basically fixed all my problems for me, again. Also started messing with decentsampler again and it’s probably going to fix my problems when I’m working on that ambient track.

I think this weekend and next week I’ll aim to get some time with the big fancy keyboard and just unload a bunch of recording at once. Force myself to finish shit. Tonight I’d like to as well, but that depends on how bad my homework ends up. And if I get flare ups again. I’m still working on dealing with that condition but I need two or three more surgeries before it’s really going to be gone. And I have to wait for those. I’m not worried about money for now since I’m pretty sure I can get a decent job after I graduate (and at a minimum I can go back to the job I had last summer which I liked and paid pretty well). Right now I don’t have a source of income but I think I’ll be fine, I just need to not spend money, which I’m pretty good at. Next week I’ll focus on music stuff first, throw in some drawings if I can, and keep at those comic thumbnails. Once those are done I’ll start on pages.

[bigskydreaming]

FWIW, my lack of reliability is one of the things I'm most self-conscious about, its like, Top Three least favorite character traits. Its something I've always had issues w/to be honest, a tendency to overpromise with the best of intentions, but at the more optimal beats in my life I'm able to compensate for that predisposition by having the luxury of being a lot more deliberate in how and where I spend my time & focus & energy, stuff like that. At periods of my life like now, or well, the past five years, lmao, that goes to shit b/c priorities are just making it through the day by any means necessary and I fall back on overpromising because I WANT to followthrough and like, to a certain degree it ends up feeling like looking to the future (even short term) and going yes, this, I am GOING to do this, it gives me something to look forward to or plan ahead about and just another reason to slog through the day even when I was at my lowest - but that doesn't mean that my ramped up tendency to do this is balanced out by my being any better at actually making sure I follow through....I'm still in a position to be worse about it, lol.

All of this is to say, this is the thing I'm hoping our new level of stability next year will help me address, but also just me saying this has always been something I'm aware of and even at my most chaotic, the one thing I CAN always commit to is I do remember the things I say I'm going to do....and no matter how much time passes, I CAN ensure that whenever I AM able to, I come back to them. Like that one post I've been talking about finishing for a month, the patreon, updates to my fics.....they're never dropped just because I failed to meet a self-imposed deadline. That at least I can deliver on....if I've said I'm going to do something, its never LEFT my to-do list. It might take fucking forever to get back to it, and I can't actually ever guarantee completion without falling into the trap of overpromising again....but I CAN commit to the simple fact of....if I said I intend to do something, whenever I do have the space, time, focus, breathing room, etc....it hasn't left my thoughts or intentions and it will get picked up again and continue to add more to it.

Anyway, this is another personal maintenance don't reblog blog post lol, just something that was on my mind today and I wanted to post because I don't return to old stuff on my To Do lists because I expect that people are still waiting for them, its about me and just...I said I was going to do it, and I aim to keep to that....but it means that I am always SO appreciative and glad when people are still receptive to it or glad to see it whenever I do finally get back to something I talked about awhile back. So, for those of you who stick with me with actual optimism and faith that the thing you had interest in seeing me do or post is something you will still see me post at some point...like, I recognize this as the gift it is and appreciate the faith in me. Just wanted to say that, thanks!

[jenroses]

In the past 30 days: I came down with covid and the flu simultaneously Devoting all my executive function to taking covid/flu meds religiously on time led me to be late on my ongoing antiviral once, by 6 hours, so I had a brief flare of both shingles AND cold sores. They calmed back down once i got back on track. And now I have a bladder infection.

You would think, with my history (rheumatoid arthritis and resulting immune suppression and steroid-induced diabetes, asthma, obesity, physical and mental health issues, EDS, fibro, clotting disorders, etc.) that coming down with four viruses and a bacteria in this period of time would be horrible.

But you know what? Modern medicine is a good thing. Antivirals are a good thing. Antibiotics are amazing. I took ONE dose of the antibiotic and my symptoms for the UTI are already loads better. I got over the flu in THREE FUCKING DAYS. The flu used to take me out for 2 weeks, sometimes 3 if I got a secondary infection, and that was when I wasn't on immune suppressants. Tamiflu plus elderberry, taken soon after symptoms start, work like magic. Covid was minor. Yes, I know it's minor for a lot of people but with my risk factors? And getting it with the flu? I took an anti-covid antiviral, and of course was already taking elderberry for the flu. I have a few minor lingering issues but they're basically issues I already have, just kicked from a 6 to a 6.5, ish. Like I used to hate black pepper and then I learned to tolerate it and now I can't tolerate it again. That kind of thing. Sensory stuff is more brittle than it was, suboptimal pants are not an option. But seriously, shingles used to be a mandatory 6 week excruciating ordeal. I noticed the tingle-itch-prickle in that nerve, took my not-today-satan pills (famcyclovir) and it never really managed to get going. Cold sore was a specific prickle and a single small bump, never even scabbed. My kid was diagnosed with both flu and strep today, and he's not very sick either, and I don't even have to get swabbed for strep because the UTI drug will also treat strep. (Cefdinir)

I caught Covid 2 weeks after the bivalent shot, went off my immune suppressing drug, and kicked it to the curb with the help of targeted meds and a little herbal knowledge. I've been miserable for days with this UTI and finally got the executive function to get us to the doctor and boom, better.

I am begging you. If you get sick, and you know you're sick, if you can, get tested quickly and treated quickly. Tamiflu is supposed to cut hours off the flu, but in my experience combined with elderberry, it has taken a 14 day illness and turned it into a 3 day illness, several times now. I've never had a flu shot. (I don't object to them in principle, but my body can have garbage reactions to immune provocation and by the time Covid happened the tamiflu/elderberry=3 days sick thing made the flu shot moot for me. The math on Covid works out well in favor of the covid shot.)

There's no benefit in suffering. Especially with Covid and the flu, which mutate constantly and can bork your immune system permanently (see: triggers for autoimmunity. I have 6 autoimmune conditions, fun times.) Covid, especially, can target the cells which remember Covid. Kick it to the curb, kick it hard, kick it fast, use the tools we have.

I didn't even catch bronchitis from all this, and I ALWAYS used to catch bronchitis. because CPAP.

FWIW elderberry also helps the immune system clear out post-vaccine yuck faster. Without, I had inflammatory flares for a month. A dose ended that cycle. Next immunizations I took elderberry sooner and didn't have anywhere near as bad a time. (It is not "just" an "immune booster", it specifically promotes the production/function of tumor necrosis factor and this makes it specifically good for things like influenza.) My reaction to the bivalent shot was a sore arm for a day and then a couple days of local pain. A minor RA flare, short lived, not severe.

Anyway. Wear a mask. Get your shots. If you get sick, have them swab you for both flu and covid, not just one or the other, and strep too, if you're getting a sore throat, because we are past the days of one or the other. Get the antivirals and take as directed. Hydrate. Rest, and rest an extra day on top of it, more if you can, to give your body a chance to really kick it all the way. Use the tools available to you.

[freedomofthemoon]

CW: life drama, family, dark headspace, existential shit maybe

Not suicidal, fwiw (which is a lot).

Thank fuck for my family.

It is a lifelong job for everyone teasing apart the things they need to keep and the things they need to heal from, and it's taken me a long, long time to get comfortable with the idea that it's " I am so incredibly fucking loved and lucky" and "they worked so fucking hard at doing the best they could" and "shit was fucked sometimes and I am fucked up about it" coexist without negating each other.

Today is a "Holy shit! I am so deeply fucking privileged!" kinda day.

Because I just got suspended from work for my lates again, and next time is termination. It is absolutely my fault and yet it absolutely does not feel like something I can control going forward.

I am about to be evicted and hanging from a thread from being jobless, and it is fucking terrifying, but my worst-case scenario is living in a nice house with people who love me and can afford to feed me without going hungry themselves (although not without stress and difficulty).

If I had my brain without my family, I would have been homeless before now. I would be dead before now.

I know my parents' biggest fear is what's going to happen to my sister when they can't be there for her anymore. It kills me that I can't take away that fear by saying I'll step in because they know I can't honestly say I can take care of myself, let alone two of us.

I always was better at caring for others than taking care of myself. But it's not something to gamble someone else's future on. Which is the biggest part of why I am 42 and don't have kids despite it being the one part of the future I have always known I wanted.

Fuck.

[sasquapossum]

My new laptop arrived today. Asus, replacing Acer. It got so I couldn't stand to use the Acer any more. There's a little fan in there that wouldn't stop buzzing whenever it's on - which is most of the time. FWIW I think it's both a CPU (connected via a pipe) and case fan, which is a terrible idea already. Here's a picture.

Even though I'm quite handy with such things, I could never find a way to make it stop. The basic problem is that everything's packed in too tightly, so (for example) I couldn't add rubber grommets to isolate the fan. And yes, I was also severely unimpressed with the number of components held in place with (mostly black) tape instead of solder or sockets. It was clearly designed for low cost and weight, at the expense of everything else.

The new machine is doing fine so far. I hadn't even noticed any fan noise in my quiet living room, but I just checked and it is indeed running. Good. The screen seems a bit better, and the sound quality is a lot better (as one might expect when there's a Harman/Kardon label). My one potential gripe is that it has a very wide touchpad, which might get triggered by my palms as I type - a problem I've had with other machines but so far not actually observed with this one.

So, lesson learned. I've bought and been happy with many products from both companies before, but apparently Acer has turned to shit while Asus has remained good. BTW Lenovo was already off my list due to multiple machines with keyboard problems after a year or so. If this machine does fail me in some way, I'm running out of reasonably priced options. Dell and HP, basically. Samsung is a bit overpriced in my opinion, MSI and Razer even more so, Apple most of all (plus I am not going to get sucked into Apple's too-closed ecosystem again). Even for someone who has been in computing since before laptops and some of these companies existed, finding a decent machine for a decent price has become way too challenging.

[bisluthq]

Nat I mean this in the nicest way possible, you seem like you’re in a bad mood today. I just thought it was kind of funny that she owns a Scottish rugby jersey but not an Irish one, and I made a joke about her secretly supporting Scotland when it played against Ireland based on it. It’s not that deep? You don’t have to find the joke funny but I wasn’t trying to read into it or anything, it was a dumb harmless joke. But it’s not just your reply to me, all your replies have felt kind of “snarky” today

Queen I’m sorry I made you feel that way. Fwiw, you are right - I am grumpy. I picked a fight with my bf earlier today also. I’ve not felt well for the last week and then I felt better on Friday and got all amped for DIY and construction over the weekend and then injured myself by like 11 am yesterday lol. So now my foot is very bruised and I still have fluish symptoms and I just don’t have patience for anyone - even people I love (y’all actually are weirdly included in that lol I’m sorry that that’s mad parasocial but like yeah idk I’ve snapped at my bf ((I think I had some good points as to how he’s wrong), I’ve snapped at my mum when she phoned (I also think I think I have some high ground there), I snapped at my dad (ibid), and Dr Blank Space was like “our uni friend is in town do you want to come out out to places people go that aren’t your house and your local” and I was like “no because my foot hurts because fuck diy” and anyway thank you for this journey you’ve taken me on and I apologize to you and other readers for I made you feel crappy with something I said. That is never my intention. If it were to be my intention you’d know it’d be like the time I fought TTB and like then my lawyer would get involved.

[cognitiveleague]

Hahaha today at my performance review I. In slightly politer terms, told my boss (who’s on my side, fwiw) to go show his bosses my personal finance numbers, tell them to imagine for two seconds what it’s like to live on the checks they give me, and let them know that if by their own admission I’m consistently outperforming pretty much my whole damn department(s) in virtually every category and working full time and they don’t have a single damn suggestion for anything I could possibly do better or more, and they still aren’t willing to pay me enough to have, at minimum, enough for rent at like half of market rate around here, food, healthcare (the plan they offer), cat food and vet appointments for my two cats with no major health needs, and payments and gas for my goddamn modest, sensible, one-owner-from-new-but-sorta-old hybrid sedan, without a goddamn cent left over for new work clothes on occasion or having fun or travel or saving up money to like, have any future plans whatsoever but at least without going hundreds of dollars further into the red every month, then a) that’s insulting, b) it’s even worse if I’m getting paid more than my colleagues, I also want them to be able to afford to live, and c) they can’t reasonably expect to keep me here long-term when I am losing money by choosing to stay, that would be irrational, so if they want to keep benefitting from how goddamn relentlessly smart and detail oriented and good with people and caring and passionate and hardworking I am, they need to offer me a wage that doesn’t say “fuck you, your best isn’t worth any better than struggling with no ability to make plans for the future until the stress of poverty kills you or you’re old and still too broke to think of ever not working and wish the stress would kill you already”

[elytrafemme]

hello mare it’s been a while!! however today is cough syrup day and i am a little behind bc of life stuff unfortunately but i will be catching up and i look forward to reading your work!!! also idk if this is weird to say, but i’m glad you’ve been able to figure out ab your system. i’m happy that you’re able to understand yourself a little better and be able to ask for support now. also i saw someone refer to transfem osmp!ranboo as a girlfail, a wet cat of a person and idk but i thought of you. literally went ‘that’s mare!’ in my head. so you are in my thoughts for better or for worse my friend! i hope this isn’t too terribly strange, i just wanted to check in and let you know you’re being thought after:)

JASMINE MY FRIEND!!! This is so kind thank you so much! NWs about being behind, chapters 29-31 are actually kind of a set so it's totally fairs to read them all in one binge streak fwiw

Thank you so much again! We're actually kind of co-con right now so it's Mare here but Dahlia also says hi :) she's taking the reigns but I'm yelling over her shoulder a bit <3

HELPFDSHIKJFS We honestly might have an o!ranboo in here!!! That or I am o!Ranboo things get complicated with psychosis but! So glad I'm a wet cat of a person <3

Not strange at all! Love love LOVE hearing from you <3

[dietraumerei]

Weekly Writing and Reading Update

Hello my dears! I skipped last week because I couldn’t be fucked, so this will cover the last fortnight.

Incidentally -- I am kind of expecting a job offer this week, which means I’ll have income again, which means I will be able to commission artwork for my fics, something I’ve kind of been meaning to do for awhile now. I know I definitely want the moment the Bike Girls meet (sorry Aziraphale, you’re very cute under the ditch water), but is there a particular scene or version of my characters you’d like to see brought to life?

Anyway, onto the state of my one million WIPs. Writing

ulysses - I started this just today, itching to kind of go back to my roots. It’s a canon-verse story, and will be a day in Aziraphale’s life, just post-series one (and almost certainly not series two compliant, fwiw). It is not written in Joyce’s style, I promise! But I wanted to do that kind of wide rather than deep exploration of his life and how he moves through the world and etc.

moietyRedux - this is an ever-longer extension of a story I wrote for, I think, Whumptober? It’s set about ten-ish years after Abide with Me Awhile, lots of lovely h/c and heavy on the comfort. I’m pausing this for a bit, though, because I want to work out a timeline better, and write a story where Aziraphale isn’t poorly.

AbideWinter - hah, I am really feeling the Moiety AU I guess? This has stalled out, but I’ll figure out what it’s about in due time, if anything.

Miss Fell and Miss Crowley Go On Holiday - I think I’ve started on the next chapter, but this will probably not get touched for a bit, although I would like to finish it up and get it off my plate.

A Home in the Heart of the World - posted the next chapter! Thank you to the four of you who are reading this with me, lol. I have the next chapter started, and would like to work on this soon.

I also work up with an itch to revisit that Whumptober story with a trans Aziraphale, drawing it out and making it into a multichapter story, so perhaps I’ll get started on that this week? I also have yet another Moiety story I want to start so...lots of writing ahead!

I can tell I’m restless, because I just wanna write a nice little h/c meet-cute or something, too. It’s my happy place!

Reading

I finished Lauren Groff’s Arcadia which was so, so good and hard and HOO BOY that ending was...hard. It’s a sad book, but not really? I’m glad I read it.

I also read The Chosen and the Beautiful which was...fine? I really liked it, but sometimes it felt very...meander-y. I think I was maybe not really in the mood for it, and the fault lies more with me than the book, really. There’s a lot going on, but I don’t know if it fully coalesced. I liked Jordan a lot, though. She’s hard, and sharp, and easily the best thing about the book. Finally, I finished The Mere Wife which was fucking terrifying, like I could not read it right before bed, but so so so so good, oh my god it was so good, and so horrific and I love this book and I’m listening to readings of the author’s Beowulf translation and ugh it’s just all so awesome.

[sixth-light]

various discourse crossing my dash today is reminding me that my favourite villain redemption/enemies-to-lovers dynamic (applicable to Kaysanova but far from exclusive to it) is not “Character A, a good person, redeems Character B”, because that’s...boring and buys into shitty narratives sold to (mostly) women about (mostly) abusive men. you can’t change people from the outside.

what it is, is "Character A, a good person, extends Character B the basic amount of decency and kindness they would extend to anybody, and Character B is thereby motivated to put in the hard yards to improve themselves". Because you get the satisfaction of kindness being rewarded, and the satisfaction of someone becoming better, and you put zero responsibility on Character A to do anything special or sacrificial, or set their own needs aside. 

and yes, this is pretty much exactly how I see the Joe/Nicky Crusades-era dynamic going down; Joe, after (justifiably and reciprocally) killing Nicky a bunch, figuring out that that isn’t going to work and refusing to keep doing it, and then just...being a basically decent person, including keeping the personal boundaries he needs to deal with the situation. And Nicky, who is probably already traumatised by everything he’s been through/participated in (regardless of the extent of that participation), trying to return that decency and eventually gaining perspective on what he was part of, and committing himself to doing some real good. 

because, despite Nicky saying in the movie that ‘it’s like destiny’, I am much less interested in destined romance than in people actively doing the work and making the choice to be good for each other. destiny only gets you so far. 

(fwiw my favourite version of this dynamic in another fandom is entirely non-romantic, and it’s the mini-redemption arc Varvara under goes in the RoL books/comics, which is pretty explicitly because Peter (and his colleagues, but mostly Peter) treat her humanely and respectfully, while also arresting her for the very real crimes she did in fact commit. and notably in that series the tragedy for Peter is that he does keep going out of his way to try and proactively redeem/rescue someone who isn’t interested in being redeemed, for whom his basic decency/kindness wasn’t enough, and you know what it ends in? massive trauma for him!)