#fuzzy tomatoes

[rosielindy]

So much to unpack here…

I didn’t know there are fuzzy tomatoes or blue ones. The guy who named these Fuzzy Blue Balls had a great sense of humor. 😂

One of the growers at my local farmer’s market is ordering seeds. He’ll have plants for sale and I know I won’t be able to resist buying them.

[andy-clutterbuck]

9x03 | Warning Signs

[feebadrawba]

everyone in the world should watch attack of the killer tomatoes

[tinykittygardencat]

bastille day tomatoes

[healingheartdogs]

This shit better fix my SAD though, fr

[buffetlicious]

Match-stick size Hairy Gourd (毛瓜/节瓜) with canned baby abalones. Some called it Fuzzy melon (Benincasa hispida var. chieh-gua) or if left to mature, the fuzzy exterior disappears, becoming known as winter melon (冬瓜).

Mum’s very own Spicy Chicken using deboned chicken legs with skin removed. Here, it is cooked with tomato wedges to give it some acidity. Great with a bowl or plate of white rice.

[silasbug]

mmm, feeling delightfully soft around the edges today.

[burningtrashnightmare]

The first lovely tomato of the season! Learned what not to do last year and already doing better this year 😁

Did you know that you can propagate branches and any suckers from tomatoes? Pop them in water and you're good to GO! It's so ADDICTIVE I have so many TOMATOES. I only have four pots big enough for fully grown tomatoes BUT THAT'S OK!!?! Just gotta get more cups. It will work out, starting with three plants, now I have NINE Varieties and SIXTEEN plants.

I feel so ALIVE, hit me with that PHOTOSYNTHESIS 😤 living and THRIVING. Tomatoes are love and LIFE. My house smells like GREEN LIFE. Please send help I'm running out of cups.

[hiddenworldofmary]

fell victim to the usual post grocery shopping feelings and ate all the most exciting things and as a result i don’t feel so well now

[eclipseslayer]

MAKE A FAIRY

➭ LAIOS TOUDEN X F!READER SMUT ONESHOT

➭ SUMMARY: Marcille wants a fairy for her birthday, so Laios volunteers to take the job, but, he ends up needing your help.

➭ CW: Subbish Laios, handjob, ass play.

➭ WC: 1.9k

"I want a fairy!"

You, Chilchuck, Senshi, Izutsumi, and Laios all blink in surprise at Marcille's sudden outburst.

It's her birthday today, and she's been thinking about what she wants all day, until now, which puts your party at a halt.

You grip the straps of your backpack and turn to Marcille.

"Why a fairy?" You ask, finding this request a bit strange.

Marcille's eyes sparkle at the question and she clasps her hands together and places them under her chin.

"Well, as a mage, I've always thought it was a mage's right to have a fairy! They're just so cute, and, they're like tiny little servants! I really want one!" She exclaims while looking at her party who just stares back at her.

You smile at Marcille's eagerness, finding her enthusiasm cute. You sigh and you shrug, gazing at your party members before turning back to Marcille.

"Okay, Marcille. How do we get you a fairy?"

Her eyes seem to light up even more at your question, only before nervously scratching the back of her head. She chuckles awkwardly.

"Well..." She pauses before looking down, and she fiddles with her thumbs. "...You need to make one."

Your eyes widen at that, finding that answer unexpected, to say the least. You look around your party and find them having the same state of shock as you, except for Laios of course. His eyes are bright and he's got a smile on his face. Typical.

"Really? How do you make one?" Laios inquires with a upbeat tone.

There's a moment of silence, and, Marcille's face turns red as a tomato. She chuckles awkwardly again, and adverts her gaze from the rest of the group.

"Uhm... well, it's uh... very specific..."

"Oh, just say it, Marcille!" Spats Izutsumi who crosses her arms impatiently.

"Fine!" She grunts. "You need horse manure, herbs, semen, and blood! There," she spits it out very quickly, and her face turns even more red with each word. She huffs like she's out of breath and then slowly looks back up at the rest of you.

Honestly, unlike the rest of the group, you're not surprised at all as you stand there with your arms crossed and pursed lips, while everyone else stood there with their mouths dropped cartoonishly.

"What? It's magic, guys. It's gonna have weird ingredients," you say, trying to get the group on the same page as you are.

Senshi quickly collects himself and points to his backpack. "Well, I have horse manure in my bag for when I fertilize the golems. We all have blood, and I also have some herbs, too. We just need, uh..." Senshi pauses, and you hear a slow, loud gulp come from Laios.

"...S-Semen. Right..." Laios' face slowly turns a bright pink.

Then, once more, the group falls silent as all eyes turn to look up at Laios. His face turns even redder when he begins to feel the pressure on him and he lets out a huff, knowing that he has to be the one to do it since he volunteered in the first place to make Marcille's wishes come true.

"Fine!" Laios' voice cracks. "I'll do it, just... someone give me a bottle or something."

Senshi pulls out a bottle, a glass bottle, from his sack and hands it to Laios, giving him a fuzzy, furrowed brow.

"If you uh, need anything, Laios, let us know—"

"I'll be fine!" Laios insists before he storms off, muttering to himself as he turns around, going off to the corner somewhere to do his business.

You sigh, and turn to the rest of the group and see that the rest of them seem to be just as flustered, even though Laios is the one who's going to be doing the dirty work. You give them a reassuring smile and then you gesture to a spot far away from the corner where Laios is.

"Let's go over there, yeah? Hopefully we don't hear Laios..."

After a while—possibly about twenty minutes or so—you realize that Laios should be done by now. You furrow your brow, wondering what's taking so long, or maybe, he's been snatched up by some sort of dungeon ghoul, which suddenly had you up on your feet. You place your backpack down on the ground and turn to the rest of the group.

"I'm going to go check on Laios... he seems to be taking a long time," you tell the rest of the group, and they wave you off as you walk away.

You walk to the corner where Laios isolated himself, and, you hear a series of frustrated grunts.

"Shit... can't..."

His breath is exasperated, like he's tired. You hang near the corner, wanting to go in and help him, but... you're not exactly sure how he'd take it.

Nevertheless, you sigh, deciding to persevere against the odds, because despite it all, it was for Marcille, right?

You turn the corner, and there, you find Laios with his armor disgarded and his pants around his knees, and his thick cock, hard and in his hand. His face is red and, somehow, turns even redder when he sees you. He lets out a shriek and quickly scrambles to pull his pants up, but before he gets the chance to, you walk over to him and you step on his pantsleg, rendering the fabric immobile.

You squat down to his level, your eyes meeting his. You look at him, taking in the sloppy form of his hand tight around his fist, and his shirt pulled up to sit on his belly, and his red, panting face.

"Laios... do you... need some help?" You offer, albeit somewhat cautiously.

Laios looks down at his cock in his hand, and he looks back up at you. He feels like somehow this will ruin any semblance of friendship you've had together, but, fuck is he having a hard time needing to cum.

"...Yeah," he grumbles, obviously hesitant to answer.

You sit beside him, pressing your back against the wall like Laios is doing and you rest a hand onto one of his thick thighs. Testing thr waters, you slowly begin to rub your hand along his thigh and you feel him tense beneath you. He's obviously not used to your touch as he clears his throat and looks away.

You tilt your head, and, reaching out with your other hand, you guide his chin so he's looking back at you. His gaze meets yours and you offer him a warm smile, trying to reassure him that it's okay to to look at you.

With a nod of his head, he seems to understand, so, slowly, he leans in and he presses his lips against yours, sealing them in a kiss.

His lips, tentative and guessing, he starts moving them in a slow rhythm, wanting to get a feel of where you are, though when he finally sees that you're more comfortable doing this than him, he slowly begins to accept that this is happening, and it's real. His lip movements gain a bit more traction as they move a bit quicker, a bit needier. His tongue slips into your mouth and he moans against you when he tastes the inside of your mouth, and a small part of him comes to fruition, realizing that he's wanted this with you for so long, making his cock throb in his hand.

When his lips pick up their pace, and when his tongue slides into your mouth, you take that as a hint to get things moving along, so you move off of the wall and climb into Laios' lap, straddling him. Your hands rest on his thighs, and his hand comes off of his cock to rest onto your hip, along with his other hand.

Laios follows his instincts—feeling for what is right—as he squeezes your hips and groans at the fat beneath his large hands. He squeezes again, and for a second he feels like he can't believe you're on top of him, meanwhile you're on the same page as him as your hands squeeze his thick, muscular thighs, gasping into the kiss at how good he feels beneath your palms.

Then, once again, you're assuming you can go further as the kiss between the both of you grows more needy when you hear Laios' moans, so, you reach down and slowly grasp his cock in your hands, holding it tightly as you feel for what you're working with.

His cock is huge, certainly, as it's thick at its base and fills thickly all the way to the tip. He's uncircumcised with extra skin at the top and you moan into his mouth once you feel the length of his cock, imagining it burying into the base of you. Unfortunately, though, you don't think you have time for that today so you pull away from the kiss briefly to spit onto your hand to settle for a good handjob before returning to the kiss.

Your hands stroke him, slowly, gripping him tightly and you squeeze at the tip, making him groan into your mouth. He pulls away from the kiss and his mouth leads down your neck, kissing around your skin there as he mutters between each kiss.

"God your hands... feel so good," he whispers into your skin, and you squeeze at his tip again, leaving his cock throbbing in your fist.

You begin to pump him, moving your hand at a rhythmic pace, starting off at a slow pace at first, but as Laios moans and gets needier into the crook of your neck, your hand picks up its pace, and he whines into your ear, nipping at your earlobe.

"Yes, fuck, yes, feels so good."

You smile at that and he sucks on your earlobe, his teeth grind into your skin, making your eyelashes flutter.

"Yeah, feels good, Laios?" You whisper hotly into his ear and he nods eagerly.

"Fuck yes."

He confirms that with a moan, and his hips begin to buck into your palm. You know he must be close as his breathing starts picking up.

However, you have other plans for him, as you remove your hand from his cock, and you pull out the bottle from his pants pocket. You hold it in front of his cock, and you whisper into his ear.

"Laios, I'm gonna make you feel so good, 'kay? Do you trust me?" You murmur into his ear and he nods eagerly.

Whatever it was that you were about to do to him, he accepted fully. Your hands, your fingers just felt so good that he—

Oh.

He pulls his mouth away from your neck to drop open his jaw and lean his head back as he feels your saliva-covered fingers push into his tight hole.

You don't even have to pump your fingers in and out, but once you push your fingers in all the way to his prostate, he lets out a loud moan that probably echoed to the other side where the group could hear Laios, and, he cums violently as his legs tremble, his white semen paints the inside of the bottle, filling it up with how much he cums.

Then, once you're satisfied with the amount of cum, you slowly remove your finger from him and you give him a smile, kissing the top of his head.

"You did so good, Laios," you praise him with a soft purr and Laios chuckles.

"Yeah? Think I might have to make Marcille more fairies for her more often."

[kaleldobrev]

Just Right

Pairing: Dean Winchester x F. Reader

Feat. Character(s): Reader, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester

Summary: Dean hates when you’re sick. Not only can he not kiss his best girl without the possibility of getting sick himself. But you also can’t make one of his favorite things to start off his day: his morning coffee.

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: Cursing (2x)

Author's Note: Apologies for not tagging people | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

As much as you hated being sick, you knew that Dean hated when you were just as much, maybe a bit more. Whenever either of you were sick – which wasn’t often thankfully – you two had your own sick routine, a routine that Dean despised doing, but understood the reasoning behind it.

When you had found yourself sick, you would sequester yourself into another bedroom of the Bunker and curl up in your favorite blankets while wearing your designated sick pajamas. Your sick pajamas as you called them consisted of some of your favorite things that always tended to bring you comfort: a pair of Dean’s gray sweatpants, one of his band t-shirts that you borrowed with the promise of returning it but never did, one of Dean’s flannels, and a pair of fuzzy socks.

Over the course of your sick time, you had found yourself doing an assortment of different things: trying to find something to watch on Netflix that you and Dean weren’t currently watching together, attempting to read one of your favorite books, or just straight sleeping. Dean would either text or call you, sometimes even knocking on the door and talking through the door to you. If he was feeling extra cheesy, he would slip you a note underneath the door. He would always ask you the same question: Do you need anything? Your answer would always be the same, “My usual sick meal.” A meal that consisted of a hot cup of tea with lemon and honey, Dean’s version of chicken noodle soup, Ritz crackers, and a ginger ale. Whenever he made this meal for you, you would always tell him to leave the tray outside the door so you wouldn’t get him sick, but without fail, each and every time, he would come into the room with tray in hand, and either kiss you on the top of the head and forehead and say, “My gorgeous sick baby,” before you rolled your eyes and threatened to throw a pillow at him.

When Dean had found himself sick, you would still be the one to leave the bedroom – despite your beloved boyfriend being the one trying to get you to stay with him, because all he really wanted to do was cuddle with you; he was extra clingy sick. But you had to play bad guy, telling him that as much as you had wanted to cuddle with him more than anything, you didn’t want to get sick.

You would tell Dean that he needed to try his best to stay sequestered in his room as to not get you or Sam sick – Jack and Cas were the ones that you didn’t have to worry about thankfully; but without fail, Dean would always leave the bedroom, walking around the Bunker coughing and sneezing. You would be close behind him, with a couple rolls of disinfected wipes the moment he left the room, your shirt covering your mouth and nose as to not inhale the germs.

You would do the same thing that Dean would do for you, calling, texting, or slipping a note underneath the door asking him if he needed anything from you. Your usual answer would be your sickness meal, his usual answer would be: “I wanna cuddle with my Sweetheart.” When you would reject that, he would ask for the second best thing: “My usual sick meal.” A meal that consisted of a not one, but two grilled cheese sandwiches, a side of tomato soup with saltines on the side, a can of ginger ale and a tiny glass of whiskey. Although you would tell Dean not to come into the room when you were sick to drop the food off, you never listened to your own advice. You always walked into the room with the tray of food and promptly kissed him on the forehead or cheek and say, “My handsome sick boy.” Followed by him smacking your ass as you walked away.

Although Dean and you hated when either of you were sick because you couldn’t be intimate with each other, one of the biggest reasons Dean hated when you were sick in particular is because you couldn’t make him his morning coffee. Yes, Dean was more than capable of making his own coffee in the morning, or he could easily go to the café downtown to grab a cup; but ever since you moved into the Bunker, those two things just never tasted right again to him. Because once having a taste of the way you had made it, he couldn’t have it any other way.

It was one of those rare times in which you were sick, and you knew exactly how you had gotten sick too. About a few days ago, you, Sam, and Dean went on a case together in Topeka where each of you interviewed a different member of the family. Sam and Dean interviewed the parents while you interviewed their child – a child who happened to be insanely sick. While interviewing the child, she kept on sneezing and coughing and at one point had wiped her snot coated hand on your arm when trying to reach for the tissues behind you. As soon as the three of you had gotten to the Bunker, you knew that something wasn’t right, as you were starting to exhibit the same symptoms as the little girl was.

You were sequestered in your designated sick room, wearing your designated sick pajamas, completely under the covers; a combination of being hot and cold at the same time. Your phone was propped up on a pillow that was lying next to you; Dean was on Facetime with you in your shared bedroom. “I think this is the worst I’ve ever felt.” You said, your voice sounded super nasally, and weak.

“Well, you still look and sound hot to me.” Dean told you, a grin on his lips. You couldn’t help but shake your head at his comment, disagreeing with him. “What? I don’t give a rats ass if your nose is running like a faucet and you look like Rudolf. You’re still fucking hot to me.”

“Dean, I look like I haven’t slept in days and on the verge of death and I sound like a toddler. I honestly have no idea how any of this is remotely hot to you.” You sniffled, grabbing a tissue from next to you in bed and blowing into it.

“To be fair Sweetheart, I always look like I’m on the verge of death and you still think I’m hot.” Dean said, shrugging his shoulders.

“Dean, you manage to look hot no matter what you do. It’s an oddly weird talent that you have.” You sniffled again, tossing the tissue you just used into the trash can.

He shrugged his shoulders again, almost as if he was agreeing with you. “Do you need anything from the kitchen? I’m about to go make my own coffee cause somebody can’t do it.”

You rolled your eyes and coughed. “Well, I’m sorry that your barista is sick. She can always make it for you, but I can’t promise that there won’t be hints of mucus in it.”

Dean gave you a disgusted look, shivering at the thought of your comment. “Okay, okay. Please, don’t ruin coffee for me. Coffee is one of the few joys that I have in this life.”

Dean walked into the kitchen, and gave Sam a slight head nod in his direction who was already sitting at the kitchen table with a mug of coffee and his laptop. “There’s still some coffee in the pot if you want any.” Sam said, turning in his chair to face Dean who had started to make his way to the fridge. “I know it’s not how Y/N usually makes it but, I know you like the way I make it too.”

“Correction, I used to like the way you made it.” Opening the fridge Dean grabbed some milk and chocolate syrup and placed them on the counter in front of him. “Do you know how Y/N makes it? Cause she won’t tell me. And I feel like if anyone would know, it would be you.”

Sam gave Dean a questioning look. “Me? Why would Y/N tell me how she makes it?”

“Cause you’re her best friend. She tells you everything.” Dean knew for a fact that you had told Sam a lot; because more often than not, Sam would casually bring up something that Dean knew for a fact that him and you had talked about, and there would be no possible way for him to know that unless you were the one that told him.

“But you’re her boyfriend Dean. I feel like boyfriend trumps best friend in most cases.” Sam took a sip from his mug before closing his laptop and walked over to the counter, bringing his mug along with him.

“You know what they say Sammy, bros before well…hoes.” Dean gave Sam a grin, shrugging slightly.

“I think you might have insulted yourself with that one.” Sam said, finishing up his coffee. “So you really have no idea how she makes it uh?”

Dean shook his head. “No freaking clue. All I know is she puts milk and chocolate syrup in it.”

“I’ll let you in on a little secret Dean.” Sam began to say.

“What?” Dean asked.

“I…She told me to never tell you how she makes the coffee, but…she did tell me.” Sam finally confessed.

“Well? Would you like to share with the rest of the class?”

Sam grinned and walked over to the cabinet. He reached all the way into the back and took out a box of Keurig cups and placed the box onto the counter. Dean eyed the box for a moment before picking it up. “Dunkin’ Donuts?” Dean asked, sounding slightly confused.”

“Her special coffee she makes you? It’s just Dunkin’ Donuts Keurig cups with a dash of milk and a spoonful of Hershey’s chocolate syrup.”

“Son of a bitch…” Dean mumbled.

A Few Days Later…

With your sickness behind you, you were finally back to your old self; which meant that you can about your somewhat normal routine. You were excited to be able to hunt again, and you were excited to finally fall asleep to and wake up next to your beloved boyfriend. But despite the normalcy that you were excited to get back to, you knew that there was one thing that Dean was excited about – you being able to make his morning coffee again.

Quickly throwing the Dunkin’ Donuts Kuerig cup into the trash, you took Dean’s coffee cup and placed it onto the island counter in front of you; smiling as he walked in. “Morning Sicky,” Dean grinned, and you simply rolled your eyes.

Walking up to the counter, he looked at the mug and gestured toward it. “Is that?” And you nodded. He rubbed his hands together like an excited little kid before he took the mug from the counter, slowly blowing the contents to cool it down a bit. Taking a sip, he felt like he was in Heaven – not actual Heaven of course cause there were no dick angels around, but pretty close.

“Good?” You asked, and Dean nodded. As much as he wanted to tell you that he knew the secret to your coffee, he was never going to; because this was one secret that you deserved to have for yourself, even if Sam and Dean both knew.

[sugojosgf]

"i kissed him and he got hard immediately?!?"

dry humping w ino takuma :3

takuma was the love of your life. you had been dating him for hundred days exactly and you knew already that this was the man you would marry. he was so perfect, eyes never leaving you as you rambled. always the gentleman, he would pay for all your dates and keep you entertained with his passion and wit.

both of you were young and inexperienced, him being your first ever proper boyfriend and you being his first girlfriend. you had met each other in the hallways of your university when you made an off-handed comment about how cute his beanie looked. next thing you know, you were texting him every second of the day and kissing his cheek on saturdays when you studied together.

physical intimacy was something that had you worried but recently that had changed. it all had to do with a thursday evening, when your roommate was out and takuma was next to you on the floor helping you complete your paper.

"inooo, no more!" you whined, pouting at your boyfriend. you were exhausted and frankly all you wanted to do was kiss him and take a big fat nap.

"that's mr. takuma to you, and no! you are almost done baby." he reasoned, hugging you from the back. he was always dressed warm, wearing a grey sweatshirt and sweatpants. he made you feel all fuzzy but he was right. you had to complete your work.

groaning and complaining, you begrudgingly completed the paper just in time to turn it in at 11.58pm. your back called out in pain but you were too focused on giggling and kissing takuma as sweet praise fell out of his lips.

"thaaank you so much for staying up and helping me out." you giggled, placing the softest kiss on his lips. he turned red at the closeness of your bodies, pale skin dusted with pink.

"ah— i'm always there for you —" he tried to say before you climbed on to his lap and began kissing him. you felt possessed, the blushing boyfriend imagery had your neatly tucked away desires erupt.

he kissed you back hesitantly, worried that he was wrong somehow. he worked up the courage to kiss you back like you deserved, soft lips moving against your glossy ones. his hands found purchase on your love handles, pulling you impossibly closer into his chest.

you pulled back after a few minutes, chest heaving and eyes lidded. takuma was a mess. he was panting and practically as red as a tomato as he looked at you with the most bashful smile ever. you wanted to eat him.

moving against his lap, you grinded against his hardening cock as pitiful whimpers fell out of his mouth.

"fuck — baby slow down! feels t'good!" he groaned when he felt your ass rivet. you could feel the delicious drag of his cock, the thin layer of underwear you had on barely did anything to stop the feeling. takuma's hand travelled under the oversized tshirt you had on, warm hands skirting near your breasts.

"taku— takuma! can't stop —" you moaned, your movements speeding up. both of you were a flustered mess, the friction between your clothed bodies had you screwing your eyes shut. he pulled you closer to start making out again, tongue invading the seam of your lips making you moan out louder than ever.

you reached your peak at the same time he did, holding on to each other as you made a mess in your clothes. the tension in the air heavier than ever as takuma opened his eyes to look at you. freeing his bottom lip from the grip of his teeth, he asks you — "please baby, one more time?"

[gay-dorito-dust]

I’m obsessed with Beetlejuice now, and the original film came out in ‘88, so that means Ford didn’t get to see it. So what if the reader, after he came back, asked him to the theaters to go see a rerun of it? And ofc he says yes, but it doesn’t click until a little bit later that he basically just agreed to go on a date with you

Halloween was a beloved holiday to the townsfolk of gravity falls, for you however your favourite part about this was that the local movie theatre would host reruns of beloved movies, but not more beloved to you then the movie Beetlejuice.

You’ve watched it countless times and countless times more when the theatre first started doing their re runs, so much so that every summerween and Halloween the employees had come to expect your arrival without fail. You were pretty certain you were single-handedly saving the theatre with your constant visits but you didn’t care, for as long as they kept the tradition of keeping Beetlejuice on their list of reruns, you would be there to throw your hard earned money at them.

So when you found out through Stanley that Ford hasn’t ever seen Beetlejuice due to…certain circumstances that he had just gotten out of, and finding it criminal before deciding to take matters into your own hands as you quickly ventured into Ford’s room; completely forgoing knocking as you found him sat on his bed reading a book…well was before you burst through his door, triggering him into reaching for his gun that he kept on the bedside table out of instinct.

‘Y/n you scared me my dear.’ Ford said in relief as he sets the gun back down on the bedside table.

‘Sorry Ford but I’ve got something really important to ask of you.’ You said as you rubbed the back of your head sheepishly.

Ford sets down his book to give you his full attention as his kind, wise eyes looked deep into your own. ‘Ask away my dear.’

‘So the theatre is playing some reruns of some movies for Halloween, and I was thinking if you’d like to come with me, tonight?’ You asked as you found yourself playing with the hem of your shirt out of nervousness, hoping that you weren’t bothering him by asking or preventing him from doing something important.

Ford on the other hand only smiled wider at your request, feeling a warm, fuzzy feeling within his chest that he wouldn’t acknowledge until after your minor interaction. ‘I don’t see why not, I would love to join you tonight my dear.’ He agrees and your eyes brightened as you exited his room, poorly concealing your excitement, as he heard your celebratory yell of ‘yes!!’ from inside his room. He was happy that you were happy, however you wasn’t the only visitor Ford has that day as soon after, Stanley was stood at his doorway with a smug look.

‘Heard you agreed to go on a date with y/n tonight.’ Stan said, Ford furrowed his brows.

‘A date? When did I-oh’ then it hit him, when you asked him to accompany you to the theatre. He assumed that you meant as a family outing with the kids and Stan, only to remember that you didn’t mention the kids or Stan but only yourself and him. Poor Ford must’ve looked red as a tomato as he buried his head into his book, much to Stanley’s amusement as he cackled, holding his sides while his face became beat red.

‘Have fun on your date! Make sure you give me all the details when you get back lover boy!’ Stan cooed as he left his flustered brother, who was now ripping apart his wardrobe in hopes of finding something nice to wear for your date tonight. ‘Y/n is going to eat him alive.’ Stanley added as he high-fived Mabel on his way towards the living room, the two of them having succeeded in masterfully pulled off the greatest match making of their lives.

[netherfeildren]

Meet Me in the New Year

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary:  “We’re havin’ a baby this year,” voice boyish and shy and full of excitement and love. 

You peer up at him, cheek smushed against the ball of his shoulder. “We are.”

“Ready?”

You nod, slow, pulling his head down for another kiss. “Happy New Year, Joel.”

-OR-

The New Year's Eve AU

Rating: Explicit 18+

Content Warnings: No outbreak AU; New Year's Eve AU; Devoted Joel Miller; Established Relationship; Ringing in the New Year with your baby daddy like God intended; More fucking in your childhood home shenanigans; Pregnancy sex; Needy behavior; Older man/Younger woman; Daddy kink; Unprotected PIV; Creampie; Meet me in St. Louis is the best Christmas movie ever; Breeding Kink; Pregnancy Kink; Size Difference; How does one tag fingering?; Fluff and Smut; Praise Kink; PWP

A/N: One last post for 2023, and of course, I had to do a few of my favorite things; daddy Joel, creampies and pregnancy sex, yeehaw. Here's to a new year of more of the same, but WORSE and nastier.

I should be put in prison next year probably like omg but whatever. Have fun, I love you all lots!

This is a sort of follow up to Evermore

Word Count: 2.4K

Read on AO3

Ko-fi

MEET ME IN THE NEW YEAR

“Joel, what time is it?”

He looks down at you, tender look in his eye, dragging that big hand of his through your hair. Tresses slightly sleep damp and warm at the roots and gradually growing cooler towards the ends. Your parent’s living room is dark, only the warm shine of the Christmas tree coming from the front hall peering in around the corner into the comfortable, warm den. Meet me in St. Louis plays on mute on the flatscreen, Judy Garland rushing over to give John Truett a piece of her mind on Tootie’s behalf. “Look who it is. Thought I’d lost you for the night.” 

You groan, stretching your legs as far as the couch allows, knees popping hollowly, little toes splaying wide within the sweaty confines of the fuzzy Christmas socks he’d put in your stocking and which you’d been sporting for the past six days. You yawn wide, nose scrunching up at him and turning to nuzzle your face into his lap where you’ve been on and off dozing for the evening. Dinner had been so, so good, browned butter steak and baked potatoes and heirloom tomato, mozzarella salad, and you were so full and so warm and so content beyond imagining. “No… I’m awake,” you mumble against his thigh. “What time is it?”

“Almost midnight, I reckon.”

You turn to look up at him, giving him a scrunchy faced smile, “Didn’t miss it, ha. Knew it.”

“Oh, did ya?” His palm moves over the bowl of your skull to cup and squeeze the tender nape of your neck, big fingers gently kneading the fine, tight muscles there. “Gonna ring in the New Year with me, sweet girl?” Mhmm, you moan, nuzzling further against his sweats and the thick heaviness of his half hard cock. 

“You’re hard, daddy,” you whisper up at him while his fingertips slip beneath the neck of your pullover, running down the notches of your spine to reach your waist. He pauses there, his hand curving over the growing swell of your bump. 

He groans, head dropping onto the back of the sofa, and brings his other hand up to rub across his whiskered mouth. “Don’t fucking start.” You know it makes him crazy when you call him that, but you’d told him that you now have the excuse that he is actually going to be a daddy again, and so it’s only nothing but the truth. 

You press your fingertips to your mouth, hiding away your laughing smile. Your first Christmas as a little family of three. Sarah was away with her mother this year since she’d gotten Christmas with the two of you last year, and so the two of you’d decided to come to your parents house again, like you’d done for Thanksgiving last year. You’d been here for a week now, and Joel was starting to lose patience. The lack of alone time was needling as evidenced by the now fully hard and slightly pulsing erection digging into your cheek. 

He rolls his head to peer down at you, mock, chastising frown as he drags his hand over the small swell and up to your naked breast, squeezing gently. “We’ve been here too fuckin’ long.” And you moan, hiding your face against his thigh as he pinches your nipple, rolling it softly between his fingertips, thumb dragging around the sensitive puffiness of your areola. Your whole body had been, for the past several weeks, a coiled tight ball of nerves, everything swollen, everything wet, everything needing him. Like your skin knew, knew he’d been the one to do this to you, and wanted it more, wanted it again. 

You squeeze your thighs together, legs shifting and sliding against each other to relieve the knot of want he’s spin, spin, spinning with his fingers plucking at your breast. He switches to the other one, hand sliding beneath the heavy weight to lift it into his palm and squeeze. You turn to look up at him now, eyes wide when you can’t control the sound of the moan he forces out of you, mouth falling open, panting. Your breasts, going all tight and hot, needing his sucking mouth. “Joel–”

“What?” He teases, pulling his hand from beneath your sweatshirt and shifting to sit you up and press you back the opposite way on the couch, crawling over you to settle between your thighs he pushes open for himself, slightly to the side and sure to not crush you. “If your father catches us,” he whispers with wet lips moving across your throat, that same hand sneaking its way back under your sweatshirt, tongue against your pulse, “he can’t be mad, sweetheart. Already fucked you full’a my baby. Damage s’already done,” he snickers, mouth latching at your carotid, pulling hard enough you know he’s purposely trying to leave a mark. 

“You’re so bad,” you moan, arching up into his hand on your breast, his hot, sucking mouth. You want it on your cunt, you want that thick cock he’s rubbing against you, inside. He’s right, you’ve been at your parents house too long, too far into your first trimester to pretend at civility. You need your husband. 

“Not,” he huffs, damp against your collarbone. “Gonna give it to you so good, baby.” He wedges one hand behind your neck, holding you in place, while the one fondling your breast moves down between your legs, center gusset soaked slick already, and you flush at the flutter of muscles wrapped around his jaw when he finds you pantiless beneath your soft sleep shorts. And so what? Pregnancy had made you sensitive and achy. You need to be free, you tell him with an airy laugh. 

He clicks his tongue down at you, fingers slipping beneath the soft cotton to pet at the soaking wet tuft of curls with the back of his knuckles. “Pretty cunt’s all wet and hungry for me, isn’t it, baby?” And he’s all teasing grins and sparkly, self satisfied eyes as he searches gently for your clit, parting your folds to pet there slow and steady. 

Uh huh, you moan, hitching your foot up higher on his back, little heel digging into the padding of muscles over his ribs to find purchase. You let your other leg slip off the couch with a dull thud, socked foot rolling up on your tip toes so that you can cant and rock your hips against his too light touch on your cunt. 

“More, daddy, please,” you provoke, all breathless sighs as you roll your head in the cup of his palm, the heat of him seeping through the mantle of your messy hair, against your scalp. You feel him flex his fingers, tugging lightly at the sweaty roots, and he finally gives you more. Thumb sliding down to your weepy entrance, pressing there lightly, petting and circling, moving back up to press against your clit at the same time that he starts to feed you two fingers at once. 

You groan at him, scrunching your nose, but he just clicks his tongue, tutting you into submission and silence. “Take it,” he says gentle and low. You scratch at his shoulders, slipping your fingertips under his ratty t-shirt to get at his skin, using your bracing foot to rock your hips against his palm, rough callused palm catching a little painfully at your clit. You’re going to come so fucking fast like this. 

And fingers hooked forward inside of you, he jostles his hand a little, rattles your cunt so that all your wet rings loud in your parents dead silent house. “Hear how sloppy this cunt is for me?” He’s grinding his cock against your inner thigh, fat, blunt tip thrusting against the crease in your thigh over and over and you want it inside of you. You don’t care if you get caught, if someone comes down stairs. You want to soak his hand and then soak his cock and then have him carry you to bed and do it all over again. 

“Yeah,” you breathe. “Gonna come.” Your lashes flutter shut as he lowers his head to bite your tit, hard and mean, over your sweatshirt, fingers fucking fast and loud, and your cunt goes tight, tight like a knot and then wet and loose and even sloppier. You’re so wet for him. Always. 

Fucking Christ, he groans against your breast, sucks harder, darkening the grey cotton so that the hard tip of your nipple is left molded and obvious beneath the soaked fabric. “That’s it. Come just like that, sweet girl. You’re so fucking wet.” And he doesn't’ gentle his fingers, pressing in a little harder, palm grinding against your clit and shaking his fingers up and down inside of you so that he’s jostling another tiny, almost painful, orgasm out of you. The wet sound of your pussy is so loud and so obvious, if someone were to come down the stairs, the sound of it would be unmistakable. “Gonna soak your mother’s nice couch, and then what’ll she think of you? Everyone’s gonna know exactly what you let me do to you down here.”

You’re pretty sure that’s what gets you over the edge that second time. The thought of everyone knowing.

He nuzzles at your breast, your neck, sucking and kissing, fingers still stretching your pussy, while he makes his way up your throat, mouth against the tip of your chin, and then finally to your mouth. Kiss, slow at first, all tongue and hunger, and then soft little pecks. The corner of your mouth, the bow of your top lip, the other corner. Open, he orders, and licks behind your teeth. Bossy man. You love him.

He pets gently at your G-spot, slow and careful because he knows it’ll be too much soon, letting your slick spill out and gather in his palm, drip down his wrist. “Pretty girl,” he says real quiet, “Keeping my baby so nice and warm in this little cunt. Aren’t you?” You whine up at him, bringing your foot up off the floor, trying to toe his arm away. He clicks his tongue at you again, but finally pulls his fingers from you, wet, sucking sound as he leaves your cunt. He brings his hand up to his mouth, fingers slick sticky and sweet, shiny in the dim light and licks himself clean. You watch him as he teases you, all eyes and laughter, wrapping your fingers around his too thick, hairy wrist, not meeting around it, and holding him there as he eats your wet out of his own palm. When he’s done, his mouth is shiny and glossed in you and he presses another kiss to your lips, forces your jaw open, hinged wide and eats you like you know he wants to eat your cunt instead. Later, he says, like he can read your mind because you’re pretty sure he actually can.

When he pushes the loose waist of his sweatpants down over his erection, no underwear either, you roll your eyes at him, and tell him old men aren’t supposed to be this slutty. But at the sight of that too thick cock nestled in his neatly trimmed bed of hair, the wide root leading up to the happy trailed covered belly, you concede that easy access is highly to your benefit. And when he wedges that said thick cock inside of you by way of an answer to your brattiness, fat head stretching your well used, wet hole, he slides in way too easy because you want him way too much. 

You moan open mouthed for him, and he presses your sweatshirt up over your bump, your swollen breasts, and finally gets his hot mouth on your bare nipples, teeth grazing lightly, pushing you into a higher, hotter level of desperation. You rock your hips up to meet his thrusts, close your eyes and listen to the slick sound of his cock fucking your cunt. “Lemme see this sweet belly,” he murmurs, cupping the small swell. The changes he’d incited in your body had made him a specific flavor of hungry you were going to miss when this was all over. “You’re so fucking beautiful, carrying my baby. You know that?”

And you’re all soft sighs and whimpers and his name as nothing but a moan, hitching your knees as high as you can to open yourself further to him. “Fuck, you’re gunna come again. Gettin’ tight as a fist,” he grits, hips swinging back and then forward, pelvis grinding so that he’s pressing on your clit and then pressing you into another full blown orgasm. It throbs through you, an almost unbearable heat stirring in your pelvis, walls of your cunt pulsing and milking the too thick, sometimes too big, weight of his cock inside you. It always hurts just a little and you always like it too much.

He pulls out suddenly, tiny flutters still moving through your muscles and sits back on his knees, turning you on your side and shoving your thigh up, pulling the now ruined shorts aside to line up and shove back inside. He braces his foot on the floor, one hand on the back of the couch, the other holding your thigh up and open for himself and drills down into your spasming cunt, mid orgasm, and there are tears in your eyes and you gnaw and slobber on the edge of your mother’s couch as your husband fucks you into one last orgasm. The previous one not even fully over. “Told you you’d fuckin’ take it,” he growls, balls slapping against the curve of your ass, temples shiny with sweat, throat all red and splotchy. “Fuckin’ shame I can’t knock you up again here in your parents house like I wanted to last time. We’re gonna have to try harder next time.”

“Told you, you’re so bad.” And you can barely speak as he starts to pump you full of his load, hot and thick so that you can feel it being forced out of your cunt while he continues to shove inside. 

When he’s finished, cleaned you up and tucked you back into his side, both of you choosing to ignore the wet spot on the couch you’d left and agreed to plead the fifth tomorrow if anyone asks, the movie is just finishing up. Judy and her beau are finally at the World Fair together. The clock below the TV rings midnight and Joel presses a soft kiss at the tender spot behind your ear. “We’re havin’ a baby this year,” voice boyish and shy and full of excitement and love. 

You peer up at him, cheek smushed against the ball of his shoulder. “We are.”

“Ready?”

You nod, slow, pulling his head down for another kiss. “Happy New Year, Joel.”

Netherfeildren's Masterlist

Updates Blog!

[leclerc-s]

short n sweet

series masterlist

liked by maxjonesverstappen1, isabellaperez, penelopetrevino and others

maejonesverstappen short n' sweet is officially yours now!!!

i feel extremely lucky that each time i write a new record i learn a little bit more about myself, and can create from that place. the making of short n' sweet was one of the most special, honest, up and down, stupid and fun experiences of my life.

i thought if something was funny enough to make me laugh then maybe it belonged in a song. happy or sad!

thank you to my brilliant talented friends, writers, producers, mixers, engineers, and creative minds that helped me bring this world and these songs to life. not a serious thought was thunk yet somehow they wefre..lol i love you and am so grateful.

i will keep this short n sweet buuuut more soon. go listen now and i hope you love it

tagged: jackantonoff, amyallen, julianbulian, johntheblind, julia michaels, sharp_stick, jeff.gunnell

view all comments

maxjonesverstappen yeah fuck me i guess..it's not like i sat with you for hours on the piano while jack was on the phone...

maejonesverstappen i love you 💙 maxjonesverstappen okay 😊😊 love you too 💙

user28 MAE WREN JONES!! YOU ARE INSANE!!

isabellaperez i need someone to inject this album into my veins

maejonesverstappen you're insane actually isabellaperez pot meet kettle

user67 this is insane. someone sedate me.

charles_leclerc so this is what you meant by 'no more depresso up in this bitch'?

maejonesverstappen exactly leclerc!! charles_leclerc to be fair, we do love a good sad song maejonesverstappen yes, mr. i helped write so long, london. we are well aware

user19 oh this album has versatility. i was expecting something like espresso to be the entire album noooo.

user27 the range singers have to go from a pop happy song to a sad depressing song will never fail to amaze me user03 for real!! i could never be a singer because i don't have that in me

rhysjones i don't think max will appreciate his wife posting the 5th picture...

alex_albon this is the man who admitted he would sleep with daniel if given the chance... i don't think he cares georgerussell he's too busy talking about retirement in press conferences to care maxverstappenjones1 i'm very secure in my marriage thank you very much maejonesverstappen i however live in fear he'll dump me for daniel and runaway with him

user75 bed chem is about max verstappen.

user47 you're so right bestie. the blue eyes line gave that shit away

schecoperez it's 6 in the morning. i should not have to deal with his screaming this early...

maejonesverstappen i'm very sorry but i warned you against staying with him. maxjonesverstappen1 i would take offense but it's very true schecoperez as the children say...this is my hell

danieljonesricciardo well that's one way to celebrate your anniversary...

maejonesricciardo don't be bitter because i did it before daphne could. danieljonesricciardo my wife released an album on my birthday!! maejonesricciardo tomato tomahto!

oscarpiastri something tells me these guys didn't listen to the full album

logansargeant i know way too much about their sex life baileywinters PINK FUZZY HANDCUFFS??? landonorris SHE'S INSANE!

user54 someone needs to study mae's brain under a microscope ❤ by penelopetrevino, lewishamilton, jensonbutton and others

mickschumacher god bless his mother's genetics indeed

maejonesverstappen this is why you're my favorite mick mickschuamcher 😊

victoriaverstappen it's certainly something... great album, ignoring the songs about my brother that is.

maejonesverstappen NO! VICTORIA LOOK AWAY! arthur_leclerc bit too late for that mae...

user43 i wonder how daphne's doing...is she clutching her pearls?

user30 is she flabbergasted? user90 PUH-LEASE mrs jones-ricciardo has no room to judge. she's written worse, possibly. user43 you're so right. how could i possibly forget about dress and the moaning user30 OH MY GOD?

kellypiquet amazing album 💫

maejonesverstappen thanks? btw max isn't in this post is that why you didn't like it? maxjonesverstappen1 mae, we've talked about this. pr is not happy when you pick fights with people. user13 oh the lore here goes so deep it's insane zoyatorres dear user13 you have no idea just how deep the lore goes here.

lewis hamilton if i hear another song about max emilian jones-verstappen's dick it will be too soon.

charles leclerc and somehow I'M the one with the long name

natalia ruiz you have three middle names. you DO have a long name charlie

mark webber it's too early for lewis to be talking about dicks

max jones-verstappen you're just jealous because you've never had a song written about you lewis

isabella perez 🤓☝️ that's not true jones-bitchstappen george russell ???

isabella perez according to my research, aka a tiktok deepdive with osc at 2 am, one nicki minaj wrote "you ain't fuck nicki, you fucked nicole body" about one sir lewis hamilton

nico rosberg so that is why he ended his career as one hit wonder xnda

lewis hamilton literally fuck you nico nico rosberg you've tried pierre gasly WHAT THE FUCK? lewis hamilton STOP TELLING PEOPLE I'VE TRIED SLEEPING WITH YOU! THAT'S NOT TRUE!

alex albon HE DATED NICKI MINAJ??

lando norris WHO DATED NICKI? alex albon LEWIS!!

lewis hamilton we were friends!

daphne jones-ricciardo weeeellllll lewis hamilton daphne, don't you dare daphne jones-ricciardo i didn't do anything! lewis hamilton YOU WERE ABOUT TOO!

logan sargeant LEWIS DATED NICKI?

freya vettel this is some wild lore we're uncovering here

ollie bearman i thought he was dating shakira?

dulce perez shakira might just be old news, who the fuck knows with lewis

lewis hamilton am i not allowed to have friends now?

george russell unless you're willing to publicly announce your friendship with nico rosberg again, we'll just assume every woman you talk to is your girlfriend bailey winters at least set some realistic standards george, that's never going to happen.

nico rosberg for the record, we are friends

sebastian vettel eh, are you though? fernando alonso stay out of it homewrecker sebastian vettel mark webber ass kisser jenson button you two belong in a retirement home mark webber why am i always getting dragged into shit?

rowan todd wait, lewis dated nicki?

carlos sainz nicki who? pierre gasly nicki minaj she sings that one song about snakes mae jones-verstappen well it's an innuendo for dicks but yes pierre gasly yeah, you would know all about innuendos wouldn't you? mae jones-verstappen this is why rowan's never written a song about you

rhys jones LEWIS DATED NICKI? WHEN?

isabella perez oh back in like 2018 lewis hamilton STOP SAYING THAT! I DIDN'T DATE HER!

zoya torres awfully defensive for someone who didn't date her

jenson button oh he totally dated her

lewis hamilton YOU'RE NOT HELPING? jenson button i'm supposed to help??

daniel jones-ricciardo caught them kissing in abu dhabi

lewis hamilton STOP!

george russell he's actually screaming from his drivers room. i can hear him.

george russell update: bono just went in there an asked what was wrong and he replied with, 'they're driving me insane bono!' george russell and now kimi is asking what's wrong with him. what do i tell him?? ollie bearman nothing, let him live in delusion that all of you are super cool and not at all dumbasses max jones-verstappen who lied and told him we were cool? ollie bearman the internet

lewis hamilton i hate all of you

isabella perez can't wait to force you to do media with charles. especially those stupid song challenges just to play a nicki song lewis hamilton oh my god, what the hell did i sign up for? carlos sainz your own personal hell

esteban ocon what the fuck is happening?

mick schumacher lore dump or whatever they call it these days

maxjonesverstappen1 and maejonesverstappen posted new stories

mae said this was very cutesy, very demure, whatever that means. ps i think she did in fact kidnap one of daph's cats this guy is literally so out of it that he didn't notice that i sent him an old picture and am literally standing right in front of him. ps yes he is literally asleep. pps this not very demure of him.

liked by maxjonesverstappen1, isabellaperez, penelopetrevino and others

maejonesverstappen taste video is out now 💋

tagged: jennaortega, davemeyers, campbellrohan

view all comments

rhysjones be honest, did max flip out when he found out you were kissing jenna?

maejonesverstappen it was more of a 'do you really have to?' with a pout jennaortega it was actually a tantrum rhysjones oh i love you. please stick around to humble max jennaortega of course!

isabellaperez petition to have me star in your next music video?? i'll kiss you too

maxjonesverstappen1 back off perez, that's MY wife jennaortega he told me the same thing maxverstappen1 who invited you? jennaortega your wife did actually

user98 this music video altered my brain chemistry. i'm not even kidding

user41 you're so right for that. someone please get them to star in a movie as lesbian lovers user1 she has more chemistry with jenna then she did with barry. as if she would ever dump max for barry ❤ by maxjonesverstappen1 user52 max being a barry hater is so funny to me but you go babe.

lilymhe can i be in your next video??

maejonesverstappen of course my love 👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏼 alex_albon i thought you two would grow out of this maejonesverstappen1 wow alex being a homophobe in 2024, what would lewis think? alex_albon I'M NOT A HOMOPHOBE! i just don't want you stealing my girlfriend lilymhe and yet carmen and i never complain when we third wheel you and george alex_albon i-

user30 the chemistry was insane

user54 RIGHT? i need to see them act as love interests in a movie soon user97 max jones-verstappen would probably die user30 he just hates to see a girlboss (jenna) winning ❤ liked by jennaortega user54 it's because he knows jenna could steal his wife if she wanted too ❤ liked by jennaortega

maxjonesverstappen1 you look great and she's there

jennaortega jealousy is a disease, hope you never get well maxjonesverstappen1 i will not lose my wife to a pipsqueak user42 max is currently in the trenches. not only is this man struggling with a fuckass red bull but he's also on the verge of losing his wife

jensonbutton as the children say, i fear this ate

fernandoalo_oficial i don't think you're using that right lewishamilton he is, you're just annoying fernandoalo_oficial to quote jenson earlier, 'you belong in a retirement home' user27 man what the fuck goes on in their group chat? nicorosberg that's a question i keep asking myself every time i open it up. user50 NICO'S IN THE GROUP CHAT?

user34 they ate and left no crumbs y'all

user40 absolutely devoured the fucking plate user62 i blame mae jones-verstappen and daphne jones-ricciardo for my high expectations of music videos now

danieljonesricciardo okay, this one was insane. i love it

maejonesverstappen thank you kind sir danieljonesricciardo of course kind lady user56 if my relationship with my in-laws isn't like theirs i don't want it.

daphnejonesricciardo you're actually insane for this one

maejonesverstappen thanks i got it from my sister 🩷 daphnejonesricciardo i hate you 🩷

nataliaruiz actually run away with me, we'll raise jules as our own

charles_leclerc what the hell did i do to deserve this? zoyatorres i don't think she needs to tell you what you did freyavettel yeah we were all there oscarpiastri i agree with whatever they say charles_leclerc all of you are banned from our house nataliaruiz no, you aren't, don't listen to a word he says.

liked by maxjonesverstappen1, charles_leclerc, rhysjones and others

maejonesverstappen serena and blair (F1 version)

tagged: nataliaruiz

view all comments

nataliaruiz i love you the way charlie loves max

maejonesverstappen which is a lot maxverstappenjones1 this is slander charles_leclerc oh so you don't love me? was that a lie? maxjonesverstappen1 oh my god, you're needier than my cats are charles_leclerc this is why you haven't won a race since spain... maxjonesverstappen1 THIS IS WHY I DON'T LOVE YOU!

user09 ferrari x red bull wags are my favorite

user42 personally i love nat and penny too but there's something special about THE lestappen wife and fiancée being besties user58 it's mae being besties with charles but natalia and max being enemies for me

nataliaruiz i might just fight someone with you over the cars

maejonesverstappen oh i am so in maxjonesverstappen1 mae, we've talked about this, you can't fight anyone charles_leclerc silvia said to take this down nataliaruiz silvia loves me, she did not say that

user57 serena and blair taking on f1 was not on my bingo card this year

rhysjones i've heard we're fighting salty spice??

redbullracing i'm sorry what? rhysjones for legal reasons this is a joke maxjonesverstappen1 i can't believe i have to deal with both of you rhysjones this is all because you chose to marry my sister

isabellaperez there are 206 bones in the human body...

oscarpiastri my sisters follow you on instagram... isabellaperez i regret nothing oscar

zoyatorres i thought we were blair and serena?

maejonesversttapen we're more like peyton and brooke zoyatorres you are so right, no man is worth it logansargeant ??? maxjonesverstappen1 YOU TOO?! zoyatorres she was mine first verstappen maxjonesverstappen1 *jones-verstappen please

user86 the matching bows!!!

user31 they're giving black swan and white swan user50 mae being the white swan has never made more sense to me

vancityreynolds i'll say this serena is much more annoying than the original

maejonesverstappen this is why hugh beat the shit out of you in your movie. vancityreynolds suck it vertically challenged!

user26 tall gf and short gf

maejonesverstappen i prefer the term snack sized maxjonesverstappen1 you're literally married to me. you're not natalia's girlfriend. maejonesverstappen never stop your husband from letting you find the love of your life victoriaverstappen oh she's so right maxjonesverstappen1 STAY OUT OF THIS VICTORIA? user26 damn men can't take a joke these days. so sensitive.. user31 it's because max is losing his wife to someone new everyday.

zoyatorres just so we're clear, i'm invited to this 'fighting of people?' there's someone at the top of my list.

maejonesverstappen of course, that's who we're getting first nataliaruiz absolutely kyle_kirwood room for one more? zoyatorres 100% percent! logansargeant please take this down. charles_leclerc please take this down. maxjonesverstappen1 i'm being told to ask for you to take this down. i actually couldn't care less but for legal purposes, please take this down. zoyatorres no ❤️ maejonesverstappen no ❤️ nataliaruiz no ❤️ kyle_kirwood i meant what i said, so no ❤️

¡taglist!

@burningcupcakefire @arkhammaid @applopie @lorarri @bb-swift @thewannabewriter @mypage-myfandoms @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @six-call @justtprachisblog @nichmeddar @unluckyyoshi @cool-ultra-nerd @kami10471633 @1nt3rnetgf @fernandoswarcrimes @arieltwvdtohamflash @brekkers-whore @natcha888 @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @georgeparisole @dan3avocado @nikfigueiredo @bella-182 @namgification @jensonsonlybutton @weekendlusting @trouble-sistar @lesliiieeeee @leclercsluv @33-81 @theseus-jpg @sarah-thatstings-ann @minmira95 @casperlikej @formulaonebuff @hopenshaw @hwalllllllelujah @doodlehunz @prongsvault @anytimeanywherebitch-blog @hopenshaw

¡leclerc-s speaks! this did not age well…but also because one person asked for this i’m posting it.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[buffetlicious]

Home-cooked Dinner with fried red snapper steak, stir-fried fuzzy melon with prawns, minced pork & tomato plus pork ribs soup. The soup I will drink later but here are the ingredients I scooped out first – pork ribs, black fungus, fish ball, bean curd skin and potato. All of these I ate with some pumpkin rice.